#She sanitizes them before sending them out as well lol

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! I was wondering if I could get some match ups for Obey Me, Mystic Messenger, and Genshin Impact!

Pronouns: they/them and she/her

Sexuality: demisexual

Zodiac/MBTI: Taurus and INTP

Appearance: 5'1 on a good day, pale skin, average build with a pear bodyshape, dark brown eyes, big glasses, black and purple split dyed hair with blunt bangs that's shoulder length in the back with longer face framing bits in the front (idk if im describing it well so think Ramona Flowers's hair from Scott Pilgrim but longer ^^;), and I'm almost always wearing something black or a dark color with converse or docs.

Personality: I'm pretty shy around strangers but my friends have described me as kind hearted, easy going, sassy, funny, smart (in the intelligence sense, not really wisdom sense lol), dense, clumsy, and a little bit lazy.

Likes: video games (turn-based and story driven especially) all animals (but cats and aquatic animals are my favorites), sushi, energy drinks, horror movies, and rock music.

Dislikes: bitter things, sudden loud sounds, hot weather, bright lights, and most outdoor physical activities.

Hobbies: I enjoy baking, playing videogames, cosplaying, experimenting with make up, and binging random video essays and Wikipedia articles.

Any extra information: Since I'm pretty clumsy and basically blind without my glasses I have a lot of scars and almost always have a bruise or scrape somewhere on my body. I also always carry a bag on me with little extra things incase of emergencies (like a mini first aid kit, hand sanitizer, snacks, hair ties, etc).

Idk what else to put but I hope this is enough and I hope you have a great day/night! ＼(⌒▽⌒)

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Your shyness when you're around strangers is balanced out by Mammon's natural extroverted nature.

However, you're intelligence balances out Mammon's...interesting methods of thinking. He's certainly not dumb but he does need someone to reign in his more rambunctious ides.

Mammon will watch horror movies with you. He'll start out with bravado, and the movie will finished with him clinging to your arm. Please let him sleep in your room tonight. And don't turn the light off please!

He does love reading random Wikipedia pages with you. He's started reading them when he's waiting in a line or relaxing between photoshoots, and any articles he thinks you'd enjoy, he'll send your way.

He'd love it if you sent him random articles as well. He'll be sure to read them!

Mammon thinks your clumsiness is endearing but every time you hurt yourself enough to draw blood, his heart almost beats out of his chest. Please take more care of yourself!

He'll help you put Band-Aids on any of your scrapes and will make sure you have a snack afterwards.

If you're lucky, he might place a kiss on top of the Band-Aid. Just don't comment on his blush afterwards.

In Mystic Messenger, I match you with...

Another clumpy person. Yoosung definitely needs to carry an emergency bag with him. But until he remembers to do that, please let him borrow Band-Aids from you.

Yoosung also loves reading random Wikipedia articles. He's a collage student to Wikipedia is like his second home. If you mention an article to him, chances are he's read it.

Loves going for a walks with you and stopping to say hello to every aimale you come across. It doesn't matter if it's a cat, a dog, or a caterpillar.

Yoosung is a huge animal lover and he loves that you are as well. He'd love to get a pet with you but he's a little scared to ask. It's sort of like the step before a baby in his mind and he doesn't want you to feel like he's moving too fast.

Video game dates are a must. Whether you're playing an online multiplayer and you're both on the same team, or you're playing against each other, he loves every second of it.

Supper proud when you beat anyone, including him. He'll be bragging about his wonderful partner in every game lobby he enters.

Yoosung also loves your baking. I see him as a big fan of sweet treats like cinnamon rolls and chocolate cake but he doesn't have them a whole lot. Homemade is best and he's a broke college student. Please make him lots of treats!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Xinyan brings so much energy to your life!

Expect her to gush about your baking. And your cosplay. And how smart you are. Basically, if there's something you're good at, Xinyan is bragging about it to anyone who'll listen.

Xinyan also thinks your clumsiness is cute but she'll always fret over you when you hurt yourself to the point of bruising or bleeding. She's getting your emergency pack out and placing Band-Aids where you need them.

I think Xinyan would also carry emergency supplies on her. Accidents can happen at concerts, and whether those Band-Aids are for her or for a crowd member, it doesn't matter. She's always ready to use them is someone needs them.

Xinyan is happy to go and see animals with you, as long as there are no frogs around. She's okay with fishes and other aquatic animals, but no frogs please.

[splatoon-ocs-aus-asks]

So before I even make my QnA posts, I should probably explain my Splatoon au's lol

First up, is the A.S.S.E.T. AU

A.S.S.E.T stands for

Allured

Sanitized

Squid

Extermination

Team

all of Inkopolis was sanitized due to eight failing to cover the statue and pearl's voice not being strong enough

Everyone (Except Marie, Callie, and agent 4 since they were in octo valley, along with anyone who was in a building) has been sanitized, and made into soldier for Tartar, Since pearl was right Infront of the blast, she too, is sanitized. Although not under any control.(yet) it's more like a sickness to her-

So with them being sanitized, Marina is trying to find a cure for (mostly pearl) everyone in Inkopolis, Cuttlefish and 3 helping her

Tartar is sending out his soldiers to find anyone who hasn't been sanitized, he's also in heavy search for the escaped main 4, since they have proven to be useful for him.

The cure is not Calamari Inkantation because while it does help, it won't remove the sanitization and the control Tartar has on the sanitized.

This whole au is Marina trying her hardest to safe those she loves.

---------------------------------------------------

Second thing!

This is for my Splatoon oc, Ika-

I'll explain the story that involves her below

pretty much

Ika

Has kidnapped Pearl, Marina and Marie

AND THE ZAPFISH

So it's up to Agent five to save the four

And the bosses?

Those idols

They've been brainwashed and used as weapons

Why has she brain washed them?

Because she hates everyone and everyone hates her.

So to get everyone to love her

Start by brain washing the idols

Then everyone else by getting the idols to sing the same song that brainwashed them

Ika is someone who wanted to be an idol but was unsuccessful

This is her way of trying to get what she wants.

She mostly thinks of herself, will do anything to get the fame she desires, including selling her body or making herself look 'perfect'

She believes the world is her stage and sees everyone as her fans.

She always happy to please a fan as well.

Willing to let them have anything just for an ounce of attention.

In short words, whore BAHABAHBAHA

anyway

Enjoy reading that

Now I gotta draw covers for both of these, make a poll to see which people would like more, then make the post when the poll finishes

YIPPEE

[wanderingwolpertinger]

finished Six of Crows yesterday (yes I skipped shadow and bone entirely the opening exposition was annoying me buuuut I'll go back later. Blame my friend she said I should start with SoC) and I haven't started Crooked Kingdom (no spoilers please!) however I wanted to dump my thoughts for a bit (I probably ended up being overly critical so if this is your fav series maybe scroll by lol)

-the characters were the highlight of the story for me, super well executed banter. Tie between Kaz and Matthias for fav POV. (Kaz's backstory was especially well done, the way it influenced his actions throughout SoC was very natural)

-worldbuilding/lore was pretty easy to follow even though I did not read S&B or watch the show. magic system is pretty cool, excited to see it fleshed out in S&B

-not sure how I feel about how ship-happy this series is (maybe the author was trying to outrun ship war potential idk). possibly makes more sense when viewed as a series? (will have to update my opinion later) but overall having every main pov character paired off somewhat sappily by the end of book one was ehhh? I'm not opposed to romantic subplots but I felt they may have held too much influence in the main plot here.

-hrrmmm love me some GrimDark (not) (ok not when it's not done very impactfully imo) (mmmm let's not explore the ethics of casually taking lives for more than 0.5 seconds) (yes it's a fantasy book but still) (particularly Jesper's pov was ... odd) (he seemed to have issues with his actions but also didn't?) (maybe it will make more sense upon reread)

-Standard Heist Plot (no notes) (yes to explosives)

-ok back to the crit. one of the reviews in the front of my copy compared SoC to ASOIAF (haven't read it but I know enough to verify) and like yes actually it really did feel somewhat like aggressively PG-13 Game of Thrones. (I dunno this is more of a personal gripe with authors feeling the need to inject the sexual exploitation of women into their fantasy novels in order to be more Realistic) (especially when it's minors) (bleh)

-idk a lot of the side worldbuilding choices felt like something an edgy 14 year old would choose because they were Dark ™️

-however props for character design, the appearance/physicality of each of the Crows was wonderfully distinct

-not in loooove with the ending. It sets up book two nicely yes but kinda gave me KOTLC cliffhanger flashbacks

-sort of feels like this book is a sanitized adult fantasy novel with de-aged protagonists (could be being unfair here) and a YA plot

-no actually the number of times Nina's breasts are mentioned is absurdly high, the heck was up with that

-so Matthias being a ex-witch hunter = bad (duh) cause he was going to send Grisha to their deaths. Ok makes sense. Now tell me why Kaz/Inej/Jesper killing somewhat indiscriminately is not really addressed in moral terms beyond "necessary"? (Actually ignore this one for now I would need to do a reread before I have full thoughts on this) (But there will be thoughts)

-overall, I had a good time reading this book. Yeah I had problems with it but some of that could honestly stem from the fact that I am not 15 anymore and have different taste in books. (ok ok also I am actively comparing this with Lockwood and Co and I feel that series took equally dark topics but explored them much more maturely) (and honestly also Mistborn. That series also had dark worldbuilding but didn't linger on what it didn't have to?)

[the-pjo-analyst]

Chapter 11 - We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium

Theme of the day: Victim

The trio is LOst iN thE WoOdS SoMEwHeRE iN nEw JeRsEY will they ever make it to LA

Halfway through the book eyyy

Lots of different victims in this chapter, most are either because of the gods or because of Medusa. The trio themselves start out as victims of the gods’ actions from the previous chapter: Hades sent the Furies after them and then Zeus destroyed their Greyhound along with their bags, so now they have to trek through the woods at night in the middle of a storm (wouldn’t put it past Zeus if that was also his fault lol) with nothing but their weapons and the clothes on their back. Tbh their entire quest leaves them at the mercy of the gods and monsters.

Medusa herself is a victim of the gods as well. In the original myth, she wasn’t Poseidon’s girlfriend but instead raped in Athena’s temple and still punished for it, but this is the pjo universe and heavily sanitized so Percy-aged kids can read it lol. So Medusa is a consenting partner, yet that doesn’t mean her punishment is any less unfair when Poseidon, the other culprit, doesn’t have to take responsibility. I already talked about how the gods aren’t really held responsible for the actions in my chapter 9 post so I won’t get into that again, but once more we’re reminded how much mortals are at the mercy of the gods. And as a result, Medusa has to live the rest of her now immortal life as a monster and spend an indefinite amount of time in Tartarus whenever she’s killed. Not to say she’s in the right either since she’s created hundreds of victims of her own, though ig a girl’s got to make a living somehow lmao.

Percy is so done with the gods and he’s only known about them for a hot sec LOL. Like he’s so fed up with them that he pulls his famous move: sending Medusa’s head to the gods. I love that scene lol. Grover is like uhhh let’s not? the gods will think you’re highly disrespectful. And Percy goes fuck yeah I’m disrespectful. bitches 🖕. 😂 There’s a really nice explanation that gets into how Percy does stuff like this/goes off the rails because it’s a trait he inherited from Poseidon. When Percy finally meets him, Poseidon also states “the sea doesn’t like being restrained.” Obedience isn’t something that comes naturally to Percy (also a Poseidon quote lol) and he especially doesn’t appreciate following rules he feels aren’t deserving or fair, like gods using mortals for their whims and making his quest more difficult than it needs to be. So yeah, not much respect for them, unless they’re like. in his face threatening to turn him into a dolphin or something ahaha. A healthy fear perhaps. For now.

Interesting how both Percy’s and Annabeth’s fatal flaws came up, but let’s focus on Annabeth bc I don’t think I’ve really talked about her character yet. We know that she’s been at camp for 5 years with barely any trips into the regular world and she is thirsty to prove herself. Like Annabeth has been at CHB for longer than most campers and she’s only 12. She’s seen demigods come and go, maybe some going on quests in the 3 years before Luke’s, and she’s impatient for a chance to go out on her own. Years of battle strategy and reading and planning with no way to put into action besides an occasional game of capture the flag. But those have likely gotten old. Annabeth is restless. And her fatal flaw is her pride, so she wants to put her stamp on the world. She’s desperate for opportunities to show her worth, to show how great she is, which is a reason why she grumbles about Percy jumping into the fight with the Furies. She says it’s because if he died, it would be the end of the quest and the end of her possible only chance to prove herself. The underlying meaning here is that she wanted a chance to kill the Furies herself and get the glory from it. Her talk with Percy is so cute though, because he validates her efforts anyway. They have such a good basis of their friendship through validating each other when barely anyone else does 😩

Anyway, Annabeth gets another opportunity when they meet Medusa and she has to make a decision: let her pride take over and attempt to kill Medusa herself, or let Percy do it, who has the better weapon for the job. But she isn’t a child of Athena for nothing, because she chooses the most logical option, same when she let Luke be the one to capture the flag. When it comes down to it, Annabeth is able put her pride aside for the sake of victory (even if it’s a difficult decision to make lol). I think this moment is way more important than the capture the flag one, because a) Annabeth has a crush on Luke so it’s easier to step aside for him and b) she’s done so many games that at this point it probably didn’t matter much to her personally anymore. But this time around, it’s the quest she’s been waiting for, she just talked about wanting to see if she’s any good in the real world, and yet she let’s Percy have the glory of killing Medusa.

Small things:

I can just imagine Grover and Percy being like（°□°）after the bus exploded with all their stuff while Annabeth is dragging them through the woods lol

The “what the heck does that say” “I don’t know” moment bc psyche they’re both dyslexic! felt like a Toph joke 😂

Grover calling enchiladas and aluminum cans veggies skjfhsjdfhsf

Previous: Chapter 10 - I Ruin a Perfectly Good Bus

Next: Chapter 12 - We Get Advice from a Poodle

[babyjakes]

teddy bear bandaids. [blurb.]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

summary | after getting cut up from helping andy with his office work, your daddy helps make the owwies all better.

pairing | daddy!andy barber x little!reader

warnings | sfw regression (daddy!andy little!reader), reader has scratches/paper cuts, hand sanitizer gets in them oof ouch owwy, but oH andy is so soft omgomg iloveandybarber

word count | 548

requested by @fangirlofallthings | Hi Eun, Yay, congrats! And hooray for blurb night and I have a request! For my job I do a lot of filing for legal affairs so I’m often handling old papers that end up giving me paper scratches which I forget until they sting from doing something else like cooking, etc. Would you be able to write a blurb with Andy (I mean he is a lawyer :) with a little reader who keeps getting paper scratches and forgets them until she cries when they start hurting with some good comfort from Andy or whoever you think fits this best!! Sending love

an | hiiiii friend! thankyou so much for this request i love and miss andy barber lol im so excited to write for him he’s truly such a soft man i’m just so convinced of it, i hope you enjoy this sweet little thing i wrote <3

“Thanks so much for all your help, sweetheart,” Andy says as he watches you finish up sorting through the last of the documents he’s placed in front of you. When you’ve ordered everything correctly, you look up at him with a smile, handing over the stack proudly for him to flip through. “Well done, honey. This looks great. Such a good little helper,” he praises, causing your heart to swell.

“Love helping you, Daddy,” you tell him happily, bouncing in your seat as he staples together the pages and files them into his box.

“I’m glad, makes a world of a difference when I’ve got no one at the office willing to help,” he chuckles. “Now what do you say we have a snack, hmm? You must be hungry after doing all that big girl work.”

“Animal crackers?” you ask hopefully, thinking you might get to have the special frosted treat for being so good and helpful.

“Animal crackers, I think we can do that,” Andy agrees with a smile, rising from his chair and going back to check the snack cabinet behind the island. “And look, we even have a brand new box,” he adds cheerfully, grabbing the bottle of hand sanitizer from the counter as he returns to the table to sit next to you.

“Here sweetheart, gotta make sure our hands are nice and clean before we eat,” Andy tells you, opening up the clear cap of the liquid as he speaks. Not thinking twice, you hold out your hands, but are soon met with a painful sting as the burning gel sinks into the fresh papercuts scattered across your palms.

The moment your expression drops, Andy sees it. “Honey?” he asks, at first not realizing what’s happened. But as soon as he sees the big tears welling up in your eyes, along with your hands still held out in front of you that’ve now begun to shake, he fits the pieces together, instantly swooping in to comfort you.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry. Come here,” he coos, taking you by the shoulders and pulling you onto his lap. A large lump sits in your throat, tears now beginning to trail down your cheeks as quiet whimpers rise through your chest. “Here,” Andy soothes, taking his sleeve and wiping off the remaining gel from your hands, causing you to grimace at even the gentlest contact. “I’m sorry, baby,” he says again. “I didn’t know your hands were so cut up. That must sting, huh?”

“Stings really bad,” you tell him, your bottom lip wobbling as he rubs your back gently.

“I know, sweet girl. Daddy’s sorry. How about this, let’s go wash out the sanitizer in the sink, okay? Then you and I can go find some pretty teddy bear bandaids. How does that sound?”

“The ones with the little bows on them?” you sniffle, looking up warily at Andy’s soft set of blue eyes.

“Yep, those’re the ones,” he confirms with a smile, planting a kiss on your head as he lifts you up into the air. “Don’t worry sweetheart, Daddy’ll get you all fixed up.”

“And animal crackers after?” you ask shyly into his neck, causing the man to chuckle as he walks with you to the bathroom.

“That’s right, baby. Animal crackers after.”

[heyiwrotesomethings]

A Wild Valentine Appears!

Ririka Momobami x She/Her Reader (Feat. some KiraSaya!)

A/N: I now realize why it takes me months to finish writing things. I wrote this oneshot in a day and although I have read it over several times already, I still feel like it’s incoherent. I’ll still happily post it though because if I only posted things I was completely satisfied with, I’d post nothing lol. Anyway, just wanted to give a little love to Ririka because she deserves it. Hope you’ll like it! Word Count: 2,425

Ririka stared over the sea of students pushing and shoving to get into any of the more contested council member lines. God, she really hated Kirari sometimes.

Today was Valentine’s Day, and all Ririka wanted to do was go home, order a giant, cheesy pizza, and watch anime from the comfort of her own bed and forget this stupid holiday even existed. But no, her dear sister just had to be an insufferable nuisance. Nothing could ever be easy, could it?

Kirari had decided to inform the council that morning in an unplanned meeting, that in order to spare the mail room from total annihilation (and Sayaka’s back), each council member would have to accept their Valentines in person. She had even set up the gymnasium for the occasion. Not herself of course, she made the house pets do it, but you get the idea.

“But president, I already have an idol greeting in place!” Yumemi smiled, though her eye twitched, “I’m too busy to deal with people outside of my fan club who need I remind you, actually pay me for my time.”

“It is a waste of time,” Kaede pushed his glasses up, “A pointless holiday.”

“Well I think it’s a great idea president!” Itsuki proclaimed, leveling a glare at Kaede.

“Free sweets so I’ll happily comply!” Runa grinned.

“Sayaka,” Yumemi called, exasperation seeping out of the cracks in her cheery idol facade, “Surely you don’t want to watch people confessing to the president all afternoon?”

Sayaka’s hands, hidden behind her back, clenched tightly in agreement, yet her polite smile stayed solid. “The president’s will is my will.” She replied, her eyes dark and focused.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Sayaka will be busy enough dealing with her own little pack of girls! Crazy to believe I know, but she’s actually pretty popular!” Midari sensed the air around the president change and cackled. “I’m cool with it, prez. I’m sure Yuriko’s ego would love all the attention too!” She offered on behalf of the absent council member. Yuriko had some important business with the Traditional Culture Club to take care of before the impromptu meeting was called.

“Majority rules.” Kirari smiled, passing a glance over to Ririka who was silently stewing.

So that’s how Ririka ended up standing in the furthest corner of the gym, watching all her fellow council members’ lines fill up while hers remained painfully desolate. She had never been more thankful for her mask than she was today. However, it was probably because of the mask and her eerie silence that people were afraid to approach her in the first place.

Ririka found entertainment watching Kirari and Sayaka at least. Though those two usually drove her absolutely bonkers, it was kind of funny to watch them take turns discreetly eyeing their ‘competition’ for the other’s affections. It was enough to make Ririka want to scream over the school’s intercom system that they needed to just kiss already and stop wasting everyone’s time, but still funny to see her sister making a mental list of every person who dared get too comfortable with her secretary. Ririka rolled her eyes as she was sure Sayaka was doing the same to the patrons in Kirari’s line. Her sister’s line was much larger than Sayaka’s own, but Ririka knew better than to think Sayaka couldn’t keep up.

“Um, excuse me, vice president?”

Ririka startled, but years of schooling her emotions and physical reactions hid her scare well. She looked away from her sister to stare at the disturbance head on. Ririka was surprised to find a face she recognized. (L/n) (Y/n), she sat next to Ririka’s left in class since their first year of high school. What could she possibly want?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t disrupt your train of thought did I? Here, let me just give you this quick and I’ll be out of your hair,” (Y/n) laughed nervously, her hand rummaging through the school bag over her shoulder, “I knew I should have packed better, sorry, just a second... There!” (Y/n)’s hand finally re-emerged with a rectangular box, striped with red, pink, and white. She held the box out to Ririka with a barely detectable tremor, “I made these chocolates for you. I hope you like them!”

Ririka tilted her head, mouth agape. Was this actually happening right now? Someone was giving her Valentines chocolate? And they were cute and nice? What the hell?

“Oh no, you hate it! I’m so sorry!” (Y/n) looked every bit as horrified as Ririka felt for just standing there and staring like an idiot instead of accepting the chocolates.

Ririka immediately waved her arms and shook her head, swiping the chocolates from her classmate’s hands and pressing the box into her chest protectively. Looking between (Y/n) and the chocolates Ririka knew she had to do something to show her gratitude so, she awkwardly flashed (Y/n) a shaky thumbs up. If Ririka could blush through her mask she was sure it would be bright pink.

“Thank you, vice president! I hope you like them, I worked hard on these- but! But don’t feel obligated or anything!” (Y/n) quickly added.

Ririka looked down at the pretty box in her hands a popped the lid open, a little gasp escaped her lips and came through her voice modulator like a crackle of static. The chocolates were shaped like cats!

“I hope you don’t mind, I noticed you doodle a lot during class and I think you make the cutest little kittens so that’s why I shaped the chocolate like that. I made the mold too, it took a couple tries, but the end result was worth it I think.”

Ririka hadn’t realized (Y/n) had paid attention to her at all, much less that she would be interested in her enough to know what she did during class, or remember and care enough to then turn such observations into an incredibly sweet and thoughtful gift. There was no way she was going to be able to keep her eyes off of (Y/n) during class now... not that she had ever stared longingly at her before! Or chickened out of buying chocolates to put in her classmate’s shoe cubby that morning, not at all! But damnit Ririka really wished she hadn’t been such a coward now!

“I’m glad this worked out. I had been planning to just send them through the mail system like I have in previous years, but then I heard that the student council was only accepting gifts in person this year and I kind of lost my nerve,” (Y/n) rambled on, waving her hands around as she talked.

Ririka couldn’t believe it. (Y/n) had sent her chocolates before? She had never gotten them. They had probably been lost in her sister’s vast piles of confectionary wealth, damn her sister!

“You are always so distant with everyone. I was afraid I was just going to be bothering you, but seeing you standing here all alone... I knew I had to just go for it and put my feelings out there, you know? Ah, I’m talking too much. I should really—“

“The president did not consent to be touched!”

(Y/n) and Ririka whipped their heads around just in time to see Sayaka flip a student twice her size to the ground, tasing him for good measure. Kirari stood by with an amused smirk, her hands rubbing sanitizer into her skin as she watched her secretary obliterate the boy.

The girls who were still waiting in Sayaka’s line started cheering and swooning which quickly made the president’s mood sour and she turned to the girls, offering them an icy stare that shook them all to the bone.

“I’ve grown quite bored of this. Would any of you care for a high stakes gamble? I’m sure we all have something of value to offer.” Kirari spoke, reaching her hand out towards the group.

The girls dropped their gifts and ran away screaming, none dared to accept the president’s wager. Especially not while she looked so menacing albeit elegant, as if she drank human blood and tears from a wine glass while sitting regally upon a throne constructed from the bones of her enemies.

Once the boy on the ground was disturbingly still, Sayaka stood and brushed off her skirt, her dark, calculating eyes scanned over the rest of the line. She zapped her taser twice in warning causing the remaining students to scatter and flee the scene.

“Oh my, Sayaka. Did you need to be so harsh?” Kirari teased, as if she hadn’t just subtly threatened a handful of high schoolers herself. She’d be lying is she said she hadn’t enjoyed the momentary chaos she had created.

“School hours are nearly over president. I was simply killing two birds with one stone.” Sayaka informed, still looking a bit miffed.

“Ah, so they are. Well then, far be it from me to hamper anyone’s holiday plans.” Kirari looked around at the remaining students and made a shooing motion with her hands, clearly bored, “Leave.” The students knew better than to complain, not directly in front of the president at least. (Y/n) moved to follow the crowd but Ririka grasped her by the bicep, keeping (Y/n) glued to her spot. Ririka was not going to let her slip away, not without returning the favor. Once the students were pushing out of the gymnasium doors, Kirari turned back to Sayaka, her eyes glimmering. “Sayaka, accompany me to the student council room. I would love a hot cup of tea. You always prepare it so well.”

“Yes, president!” Sayaka nodded, falling in step behind Kirari as she took a different exit.

“That was, something.” (Y/n) laughed, rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand, “I better get lost now before I overstay my welcome. Um, thank you again, vice president.” (Y/n) moved to pull away but Ririka held on tighter, making her classmate’s skin grow warmer. “Vice president?”

Ririka looked around at who was left loitering in the gymnasium and rolled her eyes. She may not have gotten chocolates for (Y/n), but she was surely going to make up for it before the day was over. Ririka just needed to get away from all these people first. She tugged (Y/n) along to the gym storage room and blushed as Runa laughed and pointed at her. She pulled (Y/n) inside the storage room and closed the door behind them.

“(L/n),” Ririka’s distorted voice crackled to life behind her mask, causing (Y/n) to jump. (Y/n) had never heard her speak before. “Do you like anime?”

“I- yeah I like anime?” (Y/n) blinked, she clearly had no idea where this could possibly be going.

“Do you like pizza?” Ririka persisted, the modulator making her sound much more severe rather than excited.

“Sure, I like pizza vice president.” (Y/n) answered taking a cautious step back as Ririka stepped forward, effectively cornering herself.

“Would you...” Ririka’s hand quivered as she lifted it to her face, (Y/n) tracked the movement, a look of bewildered wariness upon her face as she waited with bated breath for whatever was to come next. Ririka pulled the mask off her face, blushing as (Y/n) grew more shocked, awed, and confused. “Would you like to come to my house to watch anime and eat dinner?!” Ririka squeaked, her face growing hotter after every word that left her mouth.

“But— how? You... we were.. and you were, and then you?” (Y/n) babbled looking between Ririka and the door, weakly pointing between the two. Ririka starred at (Y/n) oddly then smacked her hand over her eyes and laughed feebly at the misunderstanding.

“I’m not Kirari. We’re twins. I’m Momobami Ririka.”

“Twins? Oh,” (Y/n) suddenly looked very relieved, “I thought for sure Igarashi was going to pop out and strangle me with a jump rope or something. Twins, wow! How have I never guessed?”

“Do not tell anyone!” Ririka warned. “No one is supposed to know yet!”

“I won’t tell!” (Y/n) raised her hand and made a gesture of zipping her lips. “Your secret is safe with me, vice president!”

“Well, good.” Ririka replied awkwardly. “So do you want to...?”

“Oh, yeah!” (Y/n) cleared her throat, “Yes, that sounds like fun, thank you for inviting me.”

Ririka smiled, “Excellent.” She fitted her mask back over her face and led (Y/n) out of the storage room by the hand. “Come with me.” the distorted voice commanded.

Ririka dragged (Y/n) down the hall and the feeling was near euphoric. The grin taking over her face was fighting to be as wide as the one covering her mask when (Y/n)’s hand grasped hers just as tightly.

***

“That’s odd...” Sayaka murmured staring down into the courtyard from the student council window.

“What’s odd, Sayaka?” Kirari asked, tone light and playful as she hugged her secretary from behind, resting her chin on Sayaka’s shoulder.

“President!” Sayaka blushed, wiggling in Kirari’s hold. “I just, I didn’t realize the vice president had a girlfriend is all.” Sayaka explained, pointing to the two girls jogging up to an expensive, black car.

“Oh?” Kirari was just as bemused as she was confused, not that she would allow her face to show it. Watching her sister usher a girl she recognized as a classmate of theirs into the back of the car before Ririka followed in after her and closed the door. Soon after, the car pulled away from the curve. “How interesting.” She would have to confront Ririka about this at a later date, but for now she had a secretary to shower with affections. “Sayaka, this chocolate is delectable. Would you like a taste?”

“I think I would. Thank you, president.”

Kirari smirked, removing one of her arms from around Sayaka to pluck another chocolate from the box while Sayaka turned to face her. Sayaka naively held out her hand, then spluttered when Kirari placed the chocolate on her own tongue and pulled Sayaka closer.

***

“Oh! I remember this episode, it’s so good Ririka, you are going to love it!” (Y/n) was practically vibrating in her spot on the couch.

“Really? I’m looking forward to it.” Ririka smiled between bites of pizza.

Hopefully they could make a habit of this. Who knows, maybe she and (Y/n) would actually pass up Kirari and Sayaka in terms of pursuing a romantic relationship at a reasonable pace. Ririka cautiously leaned her shoulder against (Y/n)’s and she received a kind smile that enveloped her more warmly than the snug blanket over her lap.

Best Valentine’s Day ever.

[page-doctor-bekker]

Human Error (transfemme!sarah)

(A/N) this really doesn’t actually have anything to do with sarah being trans, it just takes place in the same universe. this is literally just an event that happened in this au written out so i can write about effects surrounding it without people being confused lol.

-

-

“Reese, we’re slammed, any chance you can take treatment four?” Maggie pointed at Sarah Reese, and then at the fourth treatment room. Sarah looked up from the computer, before grabbing her tablet and heading to the treatment room.

“Hi, Mr. Nearling? I’m Dr. Reese, what seems to be the issue today?” Sarah pushed for hand sanitizer, rubbing her already-dry hands together until the gel had absorbed.

“Trouble breathing…” The man took a few labored breaths, “Cold sweat… I’m shaking, I can’t breathe-”

“Okay, I see, when did this start? Does your chest hurt at all?”

“I… I had a big meeting today and it just happened suddenly. I guess it hurts a little bit.”

“Can I take a listen to your heart?” Sarah asked, already taking her stethoscope off of her neck. The man nodded, and she pressed the drum to his chest. His heart was racing.

He started talking fast, “Are you going to be able to give me a doctor’s note? I’m going to lose my job…” He started breathing faster.

“Has this ever happened before?” Sarah asked, lifting the stethoscope from the man’s chest, “Any history of anxiety or panic disorders?”

“Never like this,” He choked up and coughed a bit, “But, I had social anxiety as a kid.”

“Do you have any family history of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, or high blood pressure? Do you smoke, drink?”

“No, none of that,” The man waved his hands, “I’m a healthy guy. A vegetarian, everything- everything is fine! I’m perfect, I can’t-”

“Mr. Nearling-” He was hyperventilating, and Sarah grabbed one of his hands, “Mr. Nearling, I think you’re having an anxiety attack,” Dr. Reese let go of his hand, and hung her stethoscope back around her neck, and tapped on her iPad, “I’m going to give you something to calm you down, then we can talk about coping strategies and I will refer you to outpatient psychiatry to continue care. April, push 1.5 milligrams of Ativan.”

April pushed the medication through the patient’s IV line, and Dr. Reese pulled up a round, spinning stool to the bed and sat down. April nodded at the doctor, and left the room, pulling the curtain shut.

Mr. Nearling calmed down noticeably, which Dr. Reese took as a success - Panic attack subsided. Dr. Reese smiled, “It’s normal to have some residual physical symptoms, mild tightness, shortness of breath, but as the medication works you’ll calm down more and more. Have you ever had a panic attack before?”

Mr. Nearling shrugged, “Maybe? I’ve never gone to the hospital for it.”

“After a severe panic attack you may have more panic attacks in the coming days or weeks, so I’m going to call in a mild benzodiazepine in case you need a bit of help,” Dr. Reese typed that into the tablet, “When you feel the anxiety and panic start up, you definitely want to try coping mechanisms before you take medication for it. The medication is just for if those coping mechanisms don’t work, which sometimes happens and is to be expected every once in a while.”

Mr. Nearling nodded, taking a deep breath. It was shaky going out, but residual anxiety can do that.

“So, a good first step, whenever you’re having a panic attack, is to recognize that you’re having a panic attack. If it doesn’t work to say it in your head, say it out loud,” Dr. Reese tapped the tablet against her leg with each coming syllable for emphasis, “I am having a panic attack.”

“I am having a panic attack.”

And just like that, it was no longer a panic attack. Mr. Nearling went limp, and the monitors started going crazy. Dr. Reese held two fingers to the man’s neck, and yelled out, “I need a crash cart!”

Everything moved fast after that. Sarah was pushed out of the way by two ED doctors, who started barking out orders.

“He’s in cardiac arrest, page CT. Reese, get on his chest-”

Sarah could feel blood pounding in her ears, and she clasped one hand over the other and started humming. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive. Stayin’ alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive… No matter how much CPR she performed, she still needed the song to keep her on beat.

“-Milligram of Epi.”

Ah, ha, ha, ha…

“Hold compressions,” Dr. Choi barked, holding two fingers to the man’s neck, “Clear!”

The man’s chest lurched as he was shocked, and Sarah’s heart jumped into her throat. Dr. Choi held his fingers back to the man’s neck, “Another milligram of Epi. Charge to 200.”

Sarah resumed compressions. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’...

“Clear!”

Sarah held her hands up, shaking. This never got easier.

“Asystole,” April sighed out, preparing another milligram of Epi. She knew exactly what Dr. Choi was going to ask for next.

“Another milligram of Epi.”

Sarah reached to resume compressions, but Dr. Choi swatted her hands out of the way and did CPR himself. Dr. Choi did it slightly faster than Sarah did. He knew the man was dead.

Sarah squeezed her clammy hands together, shaking like a leaf.

Dr. Bekker rushed in almost immediately after Dr. Choi stopped compressions, and was floored when Choi called time of death.

“Alright, why wasn’t this patient taken to the cath lab as soon as his heart attack was diagnosed?” Ava’s tone was stone cold.

Everyone looked at Sarah.

“He uh… He presented with…” She cleared her throat, “With shortness of breath, mild chest pain, cold sweat, shakiness, and extreme anxiety as well as a positive history for social anxiety. He did not-” She cracked her knuckles, “Um… He also displayed signs of work-related stress and no- Uh, no risk factors for heart attack. I determined he was having a panic attack and ordered 1.5 milligrams of Ativan and started talking about coping strategies with him.”

“Whenever a patient shows up with chest pains they should receive a FULL cardiac workup REGARDLESS of history and risk factors,” Dr. Bekker took a step towards Sarah, and grew louder, “If YOU were in the emergency room with CHEST PAIN, would you be anxious?!”

“I- uh-”

“You did NOTHING you should have. ANXIETY is NOT a contraindication for a heart attack, and now this man is dead. Leaving him to die in the waiting room would be more effective,” She spat out, her tone venomous, “Psych residents, I swear. God, isn’t anyone in this hospital competent?”

Sarah was out of the room before she even knew she was moving. Her feet dragged her away and her heart was practically leaping out of her chest. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she started chewing on her tongue to avoid letting them go. She clenched her fists as Dr. Charles called her name.

“Dr. Reese! I was paged to the ED, something about you?”

“I need to use the bathroom,” She pushed past him, and he grabbed her arm.

“Sarah,” He whispered, “Go sit in my office when you’re done. I’m going to finish rounds. We’ll talk when I’m done,” He started to walk away, before turning around, “You’re not in trouble, Sarah, I just want to understand what happened.”

Sarah pushed open the swinging door to the women’s bathroom, bolted into the nearest stall and slammed the door shut. She sat down and started sobbing.

I’m in love with her.

She choked on her own snot, and ripped off a piece of toilet paper to blow her nose.

I’m in love with her, and she hates me.

She let out a wail.

i’m in love with her, she hates me, and I failed her.

The bathroom door opened.

“Sarah?”

Sarah held her breath, pulled her knees up to her chest to avoid making any noise.

“I don’t think she’s in here,” Sarah heard April, a gentle voice amongst the madness.

Sarah heard a pager beep.

“Ugh, I have a heart transplant. Whatever, send a note to Dr. Charles and let him know I was looking for her.”

She wants to yell at me some more. She wants to hurt me. She somehow knows about me and I’m going to get fired. I’m going to get fired and be all alone. She knows about me and she’s going to hurt me and I’m going to get fired.

They left, and Sarah let out her breath and let her feet fall to the floor. She blew her nose again, and took a deep, shaking breath. She stood up, and leaned her forehead against the stall door. She took her hair down from it’s low ponytail, and shook it out. She grabbed a piece of her hair and started absentmindedly braiding it - an old anxious habit.

A few minutes and three braids later, she opened the stall door and stared into the mirror in front of her. She wiped away her tears, approached the sink, and splashed water on her face, soaking one of her messy braids in the process. She dried with a thin paper towel, took another shaky, deep breath. She grabbed a helping of hand sanitizer on her way out of the bathroom. Force of habit. Even leaving her bedroom at home she sometimes tries to push the sanitizer button, even though it isn’t there.

Sarah practically ran to Dr. Charles’s office, hurriedly taking her braids out and running her hands through her tangled hair.

She unlocked Dr. Charles’s office door with her key, and closed the door behind her. She did not turn the lights on. Instead, she made a beeline for the couch. There was a throw blanket stored under one of the cushions, and she pulled it over her after grabbing it. She covered her face with a pillow, and screamed into it.

“Sarah?”

She forcefully uncovered her face, before relaxing once she saw it was just Daniel.

“Sarah,” He inquired, sitting down at his desk, “What happened today?”

Sarah sniffled, “I misdiagnosed a heart attack as a panic attack,” She choked out, “Mid-30s male presenting with shortness of breath, mild chest pain, cold sweat, anxiety, healthy weight, vegetarian, panicking with a history of social anxiety, currently experiencing work-related stress, no family history of heart disease, nothing.”

Dr. Charles sighed, “Common mistake. Hardly something to have a-”

“He died, Dr. Charles,” She cried, “He’s dead.”

Dr. Charles’s face hardened, “I see,” He faltered.

“And- And Ava, God, Ava…” She pressed her hand to her forehead, “She yelled at me in the middle of the ED, and she said I was incompetent and-” She choked out a sob, “She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Sarah,” Dr. Charles’s tone softened, “She’s just… She’s just angry. She won’t be angry forever.”

“I just really messed up today,” Sarah swiped her tears away with trembling hands.

“You did,” Dr. Charles agreed, “You did mess up today, but-”

“I’m going to get sued-”

“Sarah.”

“I’m going to lose my residency and I don’t have a fallback plan, I’m in so much debt and so much trouble-”

“Sarah, you’re not going to lose your residency,” Dr. Charles yelled, and Sarah fell silent. He took a deep breath, “I’m sorry for yelling at you, but you’re not going to lose your residency. Every single doctor has a misdiagnosis in their career, it’s just part of the job.”

“But he died. And it’s my fault.”

“Sarah, you are going to lose patients. And sometimes it’s going to be your fault,” He reasoned, “You’re a good doctor, Sarah, you’re a good doctor who made a mistake. You want to know what happened during my residency? I diagnosed a teenage girl experiencing vomiting and lack of appetite with bulimia,” He raised his eyebrows at Sarah, “She died of malnutrition. Autopsy showed she had ulcers all along her digestive tract,” He shrugged, “She was in too much pain to eat! But all I saw was a sickly thin teenage girl that was vomiting and couldn’t eat.”

Sarah stayed quiet.

“The point is, things happen. Death happens. Sometimes, conditions disguise as one another. Medicine is hardly ever an exact science,” Dr. Charles pointed out, “Human error is expected, you’re not going to get fired, and you’re probably not going to get sued. Mr. Nearling presented with no typical risk factors of a heart attack, and all the typical risk factors and symptoms of a panic attack. Did you purposefully ignore Mr. Nearling’s heart attack?”

Sarah shook her head.

“Boom,” Dr. Charles threw his hands up in front of him, “You had no malicious intent. You made a mistake, a common mistake, on a patient that didn’t present typically, and it had consequences.”

Sarah nodded.

Dr. Charles sighed, and looked at Sarah with a look of sympathy, “And now it will never happen again, right?”

She nodded.

“You’re going to take complaints with these symptoms more seriously?”

She nodded.

“You’re not a bad doctor, Sarah, you’re just a human,” He said, “In med school they always teach you what someone who has a heart attack looks like, just like they taught me what someone who has an eating disorder looks like. You just have to learn to get past that phenotype and look deeper.”

Sarah stayed quiet.

“Look... This is hard. I get it,” Dr. Charles sighed, “Just... go home, Sarah. Take a breather.”

“What?”

“Go home. Come back in a few days. Take a break.”

“Yes sir,” She said, quietly, before standing up to leave.

-

-

(A/N) thanks for reading :) i’m going to build on this at some point and write a follow-up to this one shot. hope you enjoyed! this is a foundation for the parts i want to write, so it doesn’t have too much about sarah’s actual transition. i am so sorry for making ava be mean :(( EDIT: If you liked this, check this out bc I am continuing it!

[reblogcentre-2]

TW 

tw for: sh & trans stuff & blood & auto-surgery 

So you asked about my experience with auto-surgery. I actually wrote a vent fanfiction so I copy-pasted it & added more notes & stuff. The notes I added after are in ((here)) & the rest of it is my vent fanfic. The fanfic is p much accurate to the experience & any inaccuracies are pointed out ((in the)) notes.

I've dreamt about this before, but I never thought I would actually do it. It's completely an impulse decision. Well maybe not completely. I have the sense to find supplies first. Like a pack of razor blades. ...And scissors, toilet paper, rubbing alcohol, ice packs, a needle and thread, and a glass of water to keep me hydrated. I may be making a stupid decision, but I'll at least do it right.

I sit on the floor of my room, and take off my shirt. While holding an ice pack under my… on my chest ((don’t wanna say boobs)), I tie some fabric around my waist so there’s no bloody mess I have to clean. ((didn't work.)) Damn this ice pack is so cold, it almost hurts. Though, that's a good thing. It means my nerves will be numb.

Right.

I look around at my setup in confusion, I've lost my train of thought, ((adhd)) what am I doing what next- Ah, razor.

A thin piece of metal, flexible, yet strong. It doesn't glint in the artificial light. It's a matte metallic grey. I pick up my little prize, and having sanitized ((sadly not sterilized tho)) it in the alcohol and let it dry, letting down the ice pack. I bring it to the underside of my chest- but I can't see it. Disappointment. I put it down.

I need to get my fat ugly breast out of the way. Then it occurs to me- tape! ((I shoplifted this tape)) I use the tape to pull my chest up and back so I can see underneath it, or as much as I can, considering the size of it.

Now, I take up my razor. I remember reading about this one lady who gave herself a cesarean section with three long slices of a kitchen knife. She was a Mexican butcher. ((k so she had to go to the hospital after to get her intestines re-arranged I think. Also, this is what I would ask you to do, If I’m numb I won’t feel it so you can just boom three long swipes with a nice sharp chef’s knife & boom my boob is gone.))

Taking a deep breath, bracing myself for what's to come, I put the razor to my skin and pull. But I don't pull. I lift. I was too afraid, too cowardly to actually try. ((this is why I want someone else to do it)) Thankful to have lost some sensation from binding, I replace the ice pack and breathe again. Ok. I've got this. This is good. This is ok.

I lift the ice pack again, and this time I test my skin slightly. I… can't feel it. At least, not much. So, with the tape pulling back the offending tissue, I use my right hand to swipe across my left chest. It's barely a scratch. I try it again, this time closing my eyes before opening and doing the cut. It's much faster this time, and slightly deeper. How did she do it in three slices with her kitchen knife?

The blood is warm, and it drips down my chest. I unravel some tissue to dab at the blood. Then I make another cut, following inside the first, deepening it.

Yes.

I can't easily reach all the way across the bottom, so I'll have to settle for my scar being slightly on the inside. ((I can legit send a pic of the scar if you’re comfy with that)) I wipe the blood, then replace the ice pack. I need some more freezing. In a moment, I get back to it with the razor.

I can sometimes feel the pain, but I try to ignore it, or freeze it away. I keep slicing, wiping, and icing my chest. ((ok so only the skin felt painful & if you’re good, you can get thru the skin rly fast with the knife)) All the way until I see something unusual.

That's not skin.

That's… something.

Subdermal fat maybe? ((I had seen this already, but this was written as a vent fanfiction)) I keep going with the razor, another slash or two. Then I take hold of my scissors. ((oh the scissors were shit)) I can pinch my loose-from-binding skin to make a slight fold where I can use the scissors. So I do.

I use the scissors to open up the hole wider, ((idk if I actually did a lot of this or only a little bc scissors were painful af)) and I can see the fat in it. It's lumpy and greasy.

I'm disgusting.

It's a yellowish ((in culinary, the paler the fat the healthier the deer/animal. I think it might have just been discoloured from the blood. Btw there was no blood in the fat bc fat doesn’t have caapillaries)) white, made up of little bubbles, or maybe they just look that way because of the mutilation I'm committing. It's covered in red blood, so it looks more of an orange pink.

My gash is about 10cm long, maybe less. Probably less. ((I can measure if u want)) I use the scissors on the fat under the skin, and surprisingly, I can't feel it. I wipe up the blood, ready to strike again, but when I pick up the scissors I've bled again. I wipe again, pick up the scissors again, and prepare to slice again, again; but like last time there is too much blood. ((ugh I remember this, it was so annoying & my rag was already blood soaked))

I try to wipe it up enough to continue with my surgery, but I keep bleeding. and my ice packs are getting warm. ((I had to ask my brother to get me another ice pack but he brought me one that was only partially frozen))

So…

Shower.

I can do this in the shower.

I'm covered in blood, but the water would wash it away, keep it clean, moist, prevent it from clotting, and the cold water could provide numbing. Yes. I'm a genius. Shifting my pins-and-needles legs, I gather all the supplies I can carry, and peek my head around the corner. Nobody is coming.

Perfect.

I dash through the hallway, and my supplies are dumped on the washroom counter.

What do I do now? I… turn on the tap.

The cold water is uncomfortable, but I lean my body down, supporting my weight on either end of the tub, so that the water only runs along my chest. I tense as it cools the flesh. Then I step out of the shower, thankful that only my chest is wet, and try to keep on, but it’s so bloody. ((I remember thinking it literally looked like a murder scene. I was a Sherlock fan t the time))

It would make perfect sense to just bring my tools into the shower with me. I bring in two of my sharpest razors and my scissors, as well as one ice pack. ((I didn’t want the water to warm up the ice)) I run the cold shower over my laceration again, numbing it more, and once I’m done with that, I take my scissors and I put them inside.

Repeat repeat repeat. ((ok I think here is where I try to separate my skin from my breast tissue? I got such bad bruises bc I didn’t manage to take it all out))

Soon, I’m done separating the skin and extending the opening up a little higher. I keep rinsing the blood, the water runs down my entire body at this point, but I’m used to the cold.

I use my scissors to cut in deeper, I can’t feel it in the mammary fat at all. The scissors are opened and closed in rhythm, without being taken out of me between snips, and I reveal something that looks less like skin, and less like the bubbly pale fat. It might be a mammary gland- I’m not sure. It’s a different texture though, and-

Ouch! I can feel that! Damned fuck! I mean heck! ((I think I legit tried to not swear. I hurt a lot to cut that part. If it’s just done in one swipe tho it wouldn’t be as bad))

I water my wound again. I can’t have my body in pain. Just a few more seconds of cold water, and I can get back to it. Or maybe I should use my ice pack too… The ice pack helps freeze whatever that thing is, so I can cut through it with my scissors.

I’ve made a thick cut now, but I’ve seen surgeries before, I’ve watched so many videos of top surgeries, even some full surgery videos. I know what to do.

So I take my razor from the soap-bench in the wall and run it between the skin and my tissue until I get enough space for my scissors. ((oh! no- here’s the part where I separate the skin & get bruising)) My scissors go right between them, opening and closing as I move them around under my skin. I can see my skin stretch around them, like seeing someone’s legs under a blanket.

Now that I have it separated, I could maybe cut out an entire chunk. I rinse my scissors under the shower, and put them down on the floor of the tub, then I look down.

I’m covered in blood.

I open the shower door and look in the mirror across from me. It looks like a murder scene. There, my skin held apart by tape, a gaping slash under my- my breast, blood drips coming down from it, blood spread all over my torso from the water, blood in the hole in my body, ((yes a hole in my body, kinda wish I  took a pic)) blood bright red from being mixed with the water, blood clotting on my belly. I made jokes about some things looking like murder scenes before, like when working with food colouring.

Oh how I was wrong.

This is what a murder scene looks like. I’m so bloody. Part of me wants to take a picture, ((lol I was just thinking this!)) but oh hell (I mean heck) that would be messed up. As though I’m not already messed up!

Well I can’t stare, I have work to do. Work. I close the shower door, and bend down to pick up my ice pack, but I need to be careful, I don’t want to disturb my broken chest.

Numbing my chest again, I continue with this routine, pulling out chunks of my own body and flushing them down my shower drain like the serial killer I read about a little while ago. ((I don’t remember much about the chunks. It might have been less chunks than I’m making it sound. I have memory problems so : / ))

At some point I look in the mirror again, and I’m almost disgusted at what I’ve done.

My family probably needs to use the washroom, I’ve probably been showering for an hour now, they might get suspicious.

The smell is metallic & meaty, almost fishy even.

Thankfully, when I look down at my chest, it seems like I might be slightly smaller than before. ((not rly. It partially looked that way bc of the tape)) It definitely looks smaller than the one on my right. I haven’t been using my ice pack much lately. The blue liquid in the plastic pack has lost most of its cold.

I rinse off my less sharp scissors and razor, and spray all of the leftover bubbles of fat and drops of blood down the drain, trying to get the bloody footprints and handprints ((I forgot I made hand/foot prints!! If I had forgotten them mum could have walked in to pee & seen bloody handprints lol)) from the edges of the tub where I supported myself before getting used to the completely cold shower. I rinse off my torso, too now. Blood is strewn all over it, and some has dripped down to my legs, which has now dried. As soon as I rinse it off, I bleed some more. Ah. Well.

Onto the burgundy red floor towel I step, and I try my best to dry off my bloody chest and abdomen, but of the two rags I have, one of them is wet from taking it into the shower, and the other is already soaked with blood. Neither can help. I do my best nonetheless, and decide I should move on to stitches.

I know how to sew, and I’ve gotten stitches before, I should be able to do them. ((irl I                                  had only gotten stitches once & I already gave myself stitches once))

But I can’t find my needle, ((yeah I just couldn’t find my needle when I moved from my room to the washroom)) and the water hasn’t numbed my skin enough. Inside my body, in the fat, I can’t feel it, but, seemingly, I would still be able to feel it if I were to perform my own stitches.

Alrighty then, I can just tape myself together until I dry. But the tape won’t stick. ((ugh this was so annoying! I literally used all of my skin tape)) Neither will the bandaids. I have no sewing needle. I don’t know what to do, crap! I don’t know how to fix this! The tape won’t stick! Screw this fucking hell! I mean hecking heck!

Eventually, I go to my room. I put on my faux binder. It’s an old bra with a piece of fabric of my measurements sewed on the inside to compress my chest, the bra is just for the straps. Over that loose and torn excuse for a binder, I put on bra after bra, binding my semi-detached chest down so that I might be able to sleep without causing more damage.

I have a.. A thing tomorrow. ((practice for my baking competition)) I can go to the hospital a few blocks away from my school ((20 minute walk)) and get stitches there. Maybe they’ll even say I need to get top surgery an’ the gover’ment will pay for it. Yeah that’d be nice. I can jus’ wai’ ‘ntil tomorrow... and tomorrow I can take more ibe- ibu- ibupropen- ibuprofen... ((I wrote like this for the dramatic effect in the vent fic)) I can't take any more t’day. I’ll just go to sleep now n’ then I’ll wake up for school and when mom... asks me whaveter she asks I'll just tell her I have carpentry, and I'll tell the instructor that I’m not working today. ((irl I went to culinary, then told my teacher “actually I’m going to pick up my supplies to practice with & skidaddle”)) He’ll unsterdand, it’s not like I have school, it's the teacher’s comvemtion, I’m not obligated to stay, I can lust jeave. Mum will be none the wiser. Yah. Sleepy time. Hospital tomorrow. 

((so yeah. I go to sleep & ppl always say they can’t sleep on their sides so I tried that but I couldn’t handle it so I slept on my side while hugging a pillow to make sure nothing fell. I’m shaking too. Tbh I was just thinking “I’ve been in the bathroom for an hour or more, why has nobody knocked asking to brush their teeth?” I wake up the next day & put on a button-up shirt bc ppl say they can’t lift their arms, I practice walking on google maps to the hospital, then mom drives me to school. I had my learner’s license but I didn’t want to drive bc of my injury. I go in, I tell Chef I’m leaving, he’s cool abt it. So now I’m loaded up with a huge backpack, it’s february in canada & I forgot a jacket (bc I was driving in a warm car to a warm school & busy planning other things), I also brought my fiddle bc I waited for 4 hours last time & was bored, & I have a huge toolbox & a tub of fondant. I walk 20 minutes to the hospital, get in, & I need to change from my mask to the hospital mask. I go through talking to ppl & stuff. Eventually I’m called up for triage & I tell the guy what’s up (& take my meds bc I forgot that morning & she thought I was doing drugs) & sheasks me for my healthcard number & stuff. I think she was able to put my preferred name in the notes. I’m unbuttoning my shirt & she says “actually come in here” so I go into the nurses’ station & she peels up my bras a bit (apparently I’ve bled) & she’s like “wtf bro” & I’m like “what?” & she’s really concerned that I wanted like 12 hours to come. It was like 9-10pm that I was doing it & it was probably 10am at the time I saw her idk. So she gets me into a private room immediately I think (idk I might be mixing this up with the hospital trip where I had to wait for ages. Idk whether I had to wait here too.) Oh I forgot, I also plucked my violin while waiting for triage or to get called to a private room, but I wasn’t allowed. So eventually (really soon by hospital standards) I get taken to a private room. They get me to change into a gown (all of my bras off too) & now my breast isn’t secured. So while I’m waiting I play my fiddle & look up chords on my phone. Everyone likes it. The nurses & doctors & porters are like “where’s that music coming from?” & “It’s like we’re at the beach” bc chords on violin sound like chords on ukelele despite the fact that I was singing mostly mother mother. Ppl come in a lot tbh. I think the doctor comes in but he says “my shift is over soon & you will take a long time, bYe!” also I’ve been asked so many times if this was a suicide attempt & I’m like “nah bro if I wanted to be dead I would be, I’m not actually suicidal anymore.” Eventually a porter comes to move me from my nice private room to some curtained one. I’m plucking my violin quieter but some fuckin security guard says it’s loud & might be disturbingother patients so I play a really quiet eidelwisse & then I think I might stop. The guard called me miss too & it sucked. Eventually the doctor on shift comes & asks me about things & why & he’s also got his hands on my boob. (when I saw the first doctor he asked if I needed a female doctor & I was like “nah dude ur a doctor & I’m a trans.) So he’s going to sew me up & at some point he asks “tdo you want me to take the rest off?” I’m super confused until I realize he’s making a joke: “do you want me to finish the job & take the rest of your boob off?” so I laugh & say “I wish” & he says “I’d do a horrible job” & I’m like “BRo I AlreAdy did a hOrrible job!” so that was funny. He also asked me about trans stuff bc he didn’t understand a lot (he was respectful even tho he didn’t understand) & he even suggested I claim back pain to get a reduction. I have back pain (mostly from binding). Anyways he drops the needle with novacaine or whatever the hell& needsto get a new one & nobody can touch it bc it’s sharp. A few times it hurts but it’s fine I just close my eyes. He asks “do you need more anesthetic?” & I’m like “bro I did this with only a fucking ice pack” but w/o the swears. I ask him if I can bind after & he’slike “idk” so that was fun. I have a dip in my scar now. Then a nurse comes in & puts a fuck ton of bandages & gause on me but it’s stupid bc I was lying doen & as soon as I stood up (& worse when I put on a bra) it changed everything. So they give me a bag for all my bras & I walk back to school. Now it’s like 15.00 or 3 o’clock so I get back to school… & my phone is at 1%. I text my mom “hey I’m done at school” on google hangouts but my phone dies before I know whether or not the message sent. Chef is already gone, so I can’t get into the school. I can’t call mom. I walk around for a bit, assuming she’ll pick me up when she thinks it’s time. Nope. I’m outside in the cold. I start knocking on doors asking for a phone but it’s fricking covid season! I walk to a nearby coffeeshop & borrow the phone of a nice couple. Mom got sus of that. I warm up in the nice coffeeshop, mom takes me home, but she knows I skipped practice. I think she even called my chef. So yeah that was stupid. I told her “haha I went to get drugs” but she didn’t believe me & also what kind of a lie is that? She knew I cut myself, I guess I just didn’t want to worry her or have her demand to see or cry & ask me why I felt the need to change my body. I’m pissed off that she caught me (she caught me last time I gto stitches too). I can’t jump anymore *& I’m wearing my size-up binder. The doctor told me to scrub my stitches in nthe shower, the nurse told me to wrap in in plastic wrap. I’m wearing button shirts for ages after this, I’m avoiding lifting my arms, everything sucks. Whenever I think of it, I could smell it. I smelled the blood. Every time I smelled a glass that was washed in a dishwasher, I smelled my injury. Every time I remembered it, I could smell it. I don’t get that anymore but I was literally in mild shock & I think I may have traumatized myself. There’s more to say but I forget it all & idc so good night))

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[kalypsichor]

and they were quARANTINED [a beatles fic] - ch 1

summary: George takes a shit. Ringo braves a trip to the tescos and loses a bit of his soul. John harrasses the general public and Paul’s just trying to get them home before they kill each other. All while a virus tears the world apart.

warnings: CRACK (not cocaine), geo’s bad potty habits, ringo’s copious use of emojis

so, this is different... but i’ve always been a crack fic writer at heart. this is the result of being quarantined myself due to COVID-19. i’ve been seeing so much fear and frustration and hatred that i just wanted to write about it kinda cathartically. enjoy!

Unfortunately, George doesn’t realize that they’re out of toilet paper until after he’s taken a shit.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Ringo?”

No answer.

“Ringooooooooo. RINGO!!!”

George’s legs are starting to lose feeling. He bounces them up and down a bit and the motion almost makes him drop his phone in the toilet.

“RICHARD FUCKING STARKEY!”

There’s the sound of footsteps and then a pause before Ringo answers.

“What’s up?”

“What took you so long?”

“Had my headphones in. Sorry I couldn’t be at your beck and call, O Lord of the Loo.”

“SHUT up. Look, do we have any more loo roll?”

A pause. “Why, are we out?”

George rolls his eyes so hard he sees stars. “No, I’m askin’ for the banter.”

“I’ll go check. Don’t move!”

George can almost see the shit-eating (heh) grin on his mate’s face as he walks away. With a sigh and some choice curse words that would make Louise cry, George pulls out his phone again. Opens Twitter. Sees yet another tweet from that spraytanned clown across the pond. Closes Twitter and contemplates deleting it. After about three rounds of this, Ringo comes back and knocks on the door.

“We’re all out. Got you some tissues, though.”

Krishna help me. George tips his head back against the wall and thumps it a few times for good measure.

“Thanks,” he says flatly. “Could you- ?”

The door opens just a smidge before he can finish talking there’s a flying blur of Kleenex box, a blinding pain in the side of his head, and a sickening crACK—

***

“I’m really sorry,” Ringo says for the millionth time, hovering over George as he examines the spiderweb of cracks on his phone screen. George huffs. He wants to be mad, he really does, but Ringo’s face is doing that stupid thing where his eyes are very, very blue and droopy and his teeth are worrying his bottom lip and it’s obvious that he’s genuinely remorseful and—fuck, he’s got it bad.

“It’s fine,” George insists, even though he can hear his bank account having a fit. “Piece of shit phone, anyway. And look, it still works!” Very shittily, his brain adds, but that’s what you get with a five year old phone.

The older boy’s eyes still have an unconvinced, sad look about them and George wishes he could kiss it away. No homo, though.

“How can I make it up to you?” George’s brain does a slutdrop into the gutter. “I’ll… I’ll get the groceries! How ‘bout that?”

“NO!” Scrambling off the couch, George just barely misses smacking noses with Ringo. “What about the… the virus?”

“I’ll wear a mask and all. Wash hands for twenty seconds, stay six feet away from people… am I missing anything?”

“Yeah, the quarantine bit.”

Ringo snorts and puts a hand on George’s arm. “Quit your worrying, Geo. I’ll be fine. Haven’t John and Paul been out all day?”

***

John and Paul want to go the fuck home. They’d walked all the way to a new art gallery opening only to find out it was cancelled (“Why didn’t you check Google?” “Why didn’t you?”). And now, both being tired as hell from their long trek, they couldn’t even flag down a single cab to take them home.

“This is the worst thing ever,” John cries, flopping his entire body down on a park bench. Paul rolls his eyes and lifts up John’s stupidly long legs so he can sit down as well.

“People are dying, John.”

“I feel like I’m dying.”

“John.”

“Okay, fine, maybe I’m being dramatic. But this stupid… thing… is fucking up all our plans!”

“It’s not fucking Voldemort, you can say the name.”

“Alright, fine. Coronavirus. CORONAVIRUS. You happy, Paul?”

A woman hurrying by shoots them a wide-eyed, nervous look and crosses the street, tugging a little boy by the hand.

“... bitch.”

“Jesus, John.” Paul pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’d do that too if some rando was shouting in the streets.”

“Yeah, but she didn’t hafta shoot that nasty look at us… did you see that? Paul?”

“Hold on, hold on.” His phone is vibrating in his pocket and he fumbles to pull it out. “Your stupid legs are in the way.”

John huffs and makes a show of wiggling said legs, almost kicking Paul in the face. Still, he tucks them to his chest (flexible, Paul thinks and then instantly regrets) so that Paul can take out the buzzing rectangle.

--

bongo: do u or john want anything? 🤔🤔

bongo: like groceries

bongo: going to tescos

Shouldnt you be quarantining?

bongo: ur literally at an art museum 😂

It’s a gallery

And it got cancelled :/

bongo: oop sorry m8 thats tough

bongo: srsly tho whaddaya want

We need more vegetables. Carrots, etc

--

“Tell him to get cornflakes,” John says, peering over Paul’s shoulder. He’s sat up and practically draped over Paul’s lap. Paul sighs and shoves his legs off, ignoring the indignant squawk the other boy makes when he almost falls off the bench.

--

Also that cornflake cereal stuff

bongo: k

bongo: tell john i said hi

Heyyyyyy rich wots up

Paulie’s being a bitch he pushed me :((((

Why is his auto caps on lsdnfol

--

“Give it back!”

“Ow! Ow stop hitting me Jesus fuckin-”

--

Sorry that was john

bongo: yeah i could tell lmao

bongo: where are u guys??

Stuck at some park. Can’t get any cabs home

bongo: well duh coronavirus 😷😷😷

bongo: bad time to be a cabbie man 😔

Yeah yikes

Pick up some rice for george too

And hand sanitizer

bongo: ill try but twitter says handsan itizer is going fast

bongo: what the fuc why did it space like that

Lol

bongo: oh also

bongo: geos being a mother hen and making me wear a face mask

bongo: u know where they are?

Second drawer down in the bathroom, behind the rubber gloves

bongo: … how did u reply SO fast

Uh i know where things are in our flat? Like a normal person?

bongo: thats sus but ok

bongo: wow theyre actually here

bongo: okay imma head out before it gets dark

What’s after dark? Zombies?

bongo: u never no

bongo: *no

bongo: FUCKING *KNOW

Nice

Okay stay safe ritch

bongo: 😘🙃👍🏼✌🏼✌🏼🌈🌟🥦🥦🥦☮️

***

Ringo has never seen this many people at Tesco in his entire life. Two grown men are having a full on argument in the pastries. A harried-looking dad almost knocks Ringo into a rack of Twinkies, pulling along two screaming kids with one slung on his hip. And… is that person actually wearing a Hazmat suit??

“This is insane,” Ringo mutters to himself, slightly muffled due to the face mask. He just needs to find the loo roll and then he’s going to yeet outta here ASAP.

Okay, hygiene aisle… here we g—what the—

The entire aisle is empty.

It’s like a goddamn Old Western. Just add a cow skull… cue the tumbleweed… and it would be perfect.

Not for the first time that day, Ringo sends a prayer to whoever is listening above. There’s got to be something left. He walks down to the end of the aisle. Walks back. Jumps a couple times to check if there’s anything on the top shelf. Sincerely hopes no one just saw him do that. Finally, shoved at the very back behind a couple of Always boxes, Ringo digs out a dusty as shit six-pack of toilet paper.

Well. It’ll have to do.

As he’s walking to the check out lines, a woman drops her bottle of hand sanitizer. It rolls across the floor in a perfect arc and Ringo scoops it up before it can get too far.

“Oops, you dropped this!” He says cheerily, handing it to her. Well, trying to. The woman makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat, physically flinches away from his outstretched hand, and almost drops the rest of her groceries. Before Ringo can react, she’s disappeared behind the produce aisle.

Ringo’s arm falls to his side. He stares at the space where she was just a second ago and holds in a scream.

“More for us, I guess.”

***

By the time Ringo reaches the flat, he’s ready to never see another person again. He trudges right past George in the kitchen, dropping the groceries on the table with a thwack. John hums a greeting to him in the living room and offers him a biscuit.

“No thanks,” Ringo says. He faceplants into the couch.

Something clinks onto the coffee table. Well, coffee table is one way to put it; it’s more of a hunk of stone from back when Paul thought he was going to be the next Michelangelo and get really into classical sculpture. It now sits in the living room and primarily holds George’s textbooks, plus takeout for whenever they don’t feel like cooking (which is all the time), so you can see how that panned out for Paul.

“Tea for you,” George says. He plops onto the floor between the couch and the table and runs a friendly, comforting hand through Ringo’s hair. Ringo practically purrs, leaning into the touch, and George feels his heart melt and trickle through his ribs. “You okay?”

“I’ve lost all faith in humanity,” Ringo mumbles into the cushion. John reaches over and pats him on the back.

“Don’t worry, Ringo. There won’t be any humans to have faith in soon.”

George throws a packet of sugar at John who dodges it, snickering. Ringo groans and tries to sink even deeper into the couch.

And that’s when they hear Paul scream.

[tsukishitstain]

i would like to request a matchup if that’s okay :)) i’m shido (she/her, aLmoST 18), i’m bisexual and i’m a HUGE intp (kenma and tsukki kinnie ouch), pisces sun aqua moon!! i enjoy being alone, napping, smelling good (idk why i’m weird), working out, and listening to music. i have five siblings so the being alone part doesn’t work out much lol. i’m a barista at a downtown coffee house, i love using sarcasm and reaction pics to EVERYTHING, huge dogs (i love all animals but irish wolfhounds are my fav), scary awesome storms, and cooking spicy food (i’m vegan.) i’m about 5’5, lean build with a little bit of muscle, hair dyed black green and purple, and blue-green eyes!!! my style is generally black or other dark colors. i go between wearing oversized mens clothes to wearing short skirts and knee socks, but either way its usually black. i laugh really easily and typically come off as intimidating and reserved, but when it comes to romantic partners i LOVE to care for them and show affection (verbal reassurance, playing with their hair, love letters, cuddling and back rubs, baking for them, spending $$$ on gifts or making them, planning dates and trips). my love language is a mix of physical touch and quality time. i tend to be attracted to people who like to learn, aren’t too emotional, (this is shallow sorry) have dark hair, and won’t be upset that i need alone time. (also men who are passionate and talented and PROUD OF THEMSELVES FOR THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITHOUT BEING COCKY are sexy-) big turn offs for me are being super clingy, ANY kind of manipulative behavior, conforming to the opinions of others, and (this sounds rude i’m sorry) not being intelligent. also if they try to tell me what to do i’ll slap them <3 my ideal first date would be at home, either watching a horror movie, building a fort to nap in, or making dinner!!! i am so so sorry if this was too much or if your matchups are closed, thank you for reading all this junk!!! take care of yourself :)

omg you sound so cool we would literally be besties irl lol i had so much fun writing this!! and thank you for including so much info!! (also that last part was so sweet of you omg!!! i am taking care of myself and i hope you are too!!!) ok let’s get into it, i talk too damn much lmao

i match you with

Ushijima Wakatoshi !!!

i usually match introverts with extroverts but y’all are so compatible WHERE DO I EVEN START

how you’d meet

i’m taking advantage of the fact that you work at a coffee house (i’m a sucker for the cliche barista x character trope what can i say)

anyways you two go to school together and you know of each other but y’all don’t really interact

until he goes to a coffee shop and recognizes you

he wasn’t big on coffee...until now

and it’s okay that you come off as intimidating because it’s impossible to intimidate this man

the first time y’all talk is kinda anti climatic for the both of you

y’all are just like “don’t we go to the same school? oh cool haha anyways what can i get for you today?”

but secretly after that first interaction butterflies are forming for both of y’all

he finds himself going to get coffee more often than usual and still you two don’t really interact that much, so he’s not really sure how to approach you again yet

y’all have probably talked a few times at the shop and it’s only ever small talk like

but when he’s out jogging after school to get some fresh air and clear his mind, he sees you jogging around the same corner

his heart is beating so fast!! this is his opportunity

he goes up to you and is like “what a fortunate coincidence to see you outside of work, maybe we can make it happen again? would you like to hang out sometime?”

relationship dynamics

ok so with two introverts in this relationship, things are steady but not boring!! don’t confuse the two

you’re the slightly chaotic one in the pairing and because he’s kind of dense sometimes, you find his reactions to be hilarious

you two respect each other so much like the respect he has for you and vice versa is incredible

you would literally never have to deal with him crossing any boundaries you have

he’d never be manipulative or controlling when it comes to you

also he’s dense but not dumb!!! you two could hold intellectual conversations often and every time you have one of these conversations, you’re reminded of just how smart he actually is

he also loves the deep convos y’all have because he’s always learning something new (and so are you)! he loves hearing you express your perspective on things

and since the both of you are introverts, y’all understand that you both need alone time occasionally

he’s not clingy at all and whenever you need alone time he’d probably just busy himself with work

possible relationship issues

ok so there are a few conflicts that could potentially arise

let’s start with something light hearted!!!

as we all know, he can be dense at times so your sarcasm might not always reach him

and while dense ≠ dumb, i feel like sometimes it might be a turn off for you when he’s dense to the point where he looks dumb (sorry that’s kinda mean to say about him lol)

another thing that i feel like could be an issue (albeit not a huge one) is your love language

you love to give gifts but i feel like there might be times you feel underappreciated because of his reactions :/

like say it’s his birthday; you spent months planning something and spent your entire paycheck to buy it, you’d expect him to have some type of positive reaction to it, right?

well when he receives the gift, he just says “thank you” with a blank expression while opening it and gives you a kiss on the forehead afterwards

like it’s not a big deal that his reactions are anti climatic at first, but after a while it might make you feel as though your energy and efforts aren’t being reciprocated

what he loves about you

he LOVES the fact that you like to work out

this is so cliche but idc yall would totally go on gym

dates and get brunch together afterwards (how cute is that omg!!!)

omg something cute that he absolutely adores about you is the way you smell

if you’re the type of person who loves to try out new lotion or perfume scents (even something as insignificant as hand sanitizer) he’s the first to notice

like if before you two are eating lunch and you offer him some of the hand sanitizer you carry around he’d be like “oh is that a new scent?”

or when y’all are cuddling and he can smell the lotion on your skin

he’s obsessed!! every time y’all cuddle you notice he’s always inhaling your scent

he loves that it’s so easy to make you laugh!!! sometimes he might not understand what he did to make you laugh or why it’s funny, but he’s just happy you're laughing

hearing your laughter literally makes his heart warm and if you’re quick enough, you can spot his face that’s adorned with eye crinkles and a soft smile

when you’re in a goofy mood you’d laugh at everything he does because he’s so funny without even realizing it

oh and good thing you like wearing oversized clothes because ushi loves seeing you in his stuff

doesn’t matter if it’s just you wearing his shirt to bed, he loves it

he would especially love coming home after practice to see you in the kitchen making dinner or just lounging on the couch in the living room with his clothes on

you would look so ridiculous(ly adorable) in his clothes, he can’t help but to laugh when he sees you sometimes

oh and another thing!!! back rubs!!!

sometimes he practices to the point where he overworks himself not only mentally but also physically so it’s not surprising that he always has sore muscles in one place or another

your back rubs would be on his mind as he pushes himself in the gym!!!

“one more rep then i get to come home to her back rubs” is what he tells himself (too cute my heart is bursting!!!)

new here? check out my masterlist

want to request a match up? check my match up guide to see what to include

a/n #2: haha i wrote so much but you gave me so much to work with so i had a lot to cover (which is a good thing btw) i know i already said this in the first a/n but i literally love that you included so much info!! usually people are hesitant to send a lot of info bc they feel like they’re rambling but those are the best requests tho because the more you ramble the more i know about you and the more i can write!!

[borisbubbles]

2010s Eurovision: 330 - 326

330. Aisha - “What for?” Latvia 2010 

How did this song even come to be? I’d ask my uncle Joe, but he can’t speak 😭 If this were some clever spoof on existentialism I would gladly bump it up, but I think that’s giving Latvia too much credit. They’re just weird as fuck lol. Some things are better left for Mr. God to explain, but his phone today is out of range (and so is Aisha’s voice...x) 

Also, a common theme with Latvia: They deliver a decent-ish NF performance, then sanitize it for Eurovision and flop terribly. RIP.

________________________________________________________________

329. PeR - “Here we go” Latvia 2013

Having said that, Latvia probably should’ve curbed PeR a little, lol. This barely counts as ‘a song’ to be honest. Just a lot of random jumping hijinks and it’s surprisingly... not fun? lol. Ralfs you can do much better than this. Also is this REALLY the first recorded instance of a Eurovision stagedive? That doesn’t feel right, even if the dive itself lasts fewer than three seconds total.  Somebody should check on that while I wrap up the rest of today’s update~

_______________________________________________________________

328. Sabina Babayeva - “When the music dies” Azerbaijan 2012

Lol I must’ve tuned out Sabina a bit too well because this is kind of horrible? I mean, yes, I think the song is kind of dreary, but that’s a lower tier concern for me. Sabina herself is an uglyvoiced android delivering her song with zero emotional investment, the act is like watching real-life satanic exorcism,  the entire ensemble feels like the most blatant jury bait alive and of course it finished fucking fourth, presumably after Azerbaijan bought a fuckton of sim cards in neighbouring countries. 🙃

Having said that, I mostly just find this song sooooooooo fucking forgettable, which is probably why I’ve ranked her this high and probably why I’ll stop thinking about it, full stop, once this sentence has reached its end. 

________________________________________________________________

327.  Levina - “Perfect life” Germany 2017

[2017 review here]

This happens when you youtube search for this song:

EVEN FUCKING YOUTUBE KNOWS WHAT A RIP-OFF THIS IS!!! Anyway, remember how I mentioned before that Germany cannot resist a mediocre white woman when they see one? Well, nobody proves that pet theory more than good old Levina. She received a fucking standing ovation by the German audience after delivering an unremarkable Adele cover and then *again* after first performing this version of “Perfect Life”, while (because) of course, she was the most median human available. 

Which marries greatly into that other thing Germany like to do: “focus on the songs” which usually results in stripping them down to their bare bones, which turns most of them into complete non-enti-You know what? Let us instead discuss how Germany don’t even get nearly enough flak for their incompetence:

They throw away chance after chance after fucking CHANCE for whatever reason, selecting insipid songs and people alike because they appear ‘Real’, showing ZERO understanding of what makes Eurovision tick (the ability to connect and empathize with others).  They refuse to learn from the few instances they do stumble ass-backwards into a good entry (Did they not HATE ‘Taken by a stranger’ at first?), only to fall straight into their old habits again. They are deluded and utterly beyond help. Screw them.  ________________________________________________________________

326. Klapa s Mora - “Mižerja” Croatia 2013

I am to this day still not sure what Croatia were thinking when they came up with “Let’s send six homely men with a song called “misery” to Malmö”, but it was not a great decision. Idk. This song is awkward and lowkey depressing.

The worst bit has to be the middle-eight though. They’re literally just standing, in a fucking line, on the stage and it just feels.. what’s the word? Lazy? Inert? Date-rapey? It doesn’t fit the rest of the song. Okay that’s enough words spent on Klapa s Mora, I am out of here. 

[flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash]

Cooties, Annabelle, Silent Hill

Cooties: How well do you protect against germs? Do you get sick often?

I am a biiit OCD about germs. I’m ALWAYS washing my hands, and carry hand sanitizer in my purse, have it on my desk at work, etc. I’m that person who goes to the bathroom when I get to a restaurant, so I can wash my hands before eating anything (even if I just washed my hands before I left home). And I frequently spray Lysol around my apartment and keep a can at my work cubicle as well...so I’d say I protect pretty well XD I don’t get sick often, and if I do, it’s usually a 24 hour bug thing. I think I have a pretty good immune system, especially considering I work in contact with a lotttt of people and have been able to dodge most sicknesses that get spread around, especially this time of year *knocks on wood*

Annabelle: What did you do for fun as a child?

I was (and still am) a huge introvert and bookworm...so I honestly spent a LOT of time reading in my bedroom. I discovered romance novels at age 12, and was OBSESSED. I read one almost every single day over summer breaks, and snuck them in my backpack to high school, despite my friends making fun of them. I’d also listen to music while daydreaming pretty often (that hasn’t changed much either), I wrote poetry in a little notebook when I was in elementary school, and had a penpal who was this little old lady in her 90s who sent me poetry books (and who got me into the HP series by sending me the first 3 books). I’d go to work with my mom a lot on the weekends and over the summer (she worked at a hair salon at the time) and the little old ladies who went there regularly thought it was adorable that I would sit there with a book all day or chat with them about random stuff. Holy crap...I sound like an old lady even when I was a kid XD Guess I was getting my practice in early. 

I also had a small group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with. We’d have our parents drive us to the movies, or have sleepovers and do makeovers/gossip about boys/watch movies/talk about books, etc. We were a pretty nerdy little group, so we never got into trouble or did anything to “break the rules” really. Super boring, basically haha. I was never an outdoorsy kid, and it drove my parents up a wall that I spent like 95% of my free time in my bedroom. I haven’t changed much, tbh, except that now I have my own apartment I can hibernate in, and no one is here to judge me for it XD 

My parents made me do gymnastics for like 7 years from about age 5-12 (I was not happy about it at first). They also kinda pushed me into trying things like soccer (I was horrible) and softball (slightly less horrible, but still horrible). I discovered field hockey in 7th grade, and finally, a sport I excelled at and enjoyed, which THRILLED my parents. I don’t feel like they ever understood my introvert ways. But overall, I’ve always been really content on my own and am easily entertained, so long as I have a good book within reach. 

Silent Hill: If you could go anywhere without worrying about money, where would you go? Where are some places that reality feels distorted for you? 

My dream trip would be to visit Ireland, Scotland, and England. While not worrying about money would be great, my biggest worry is actually my cats. There are trips I would love to save up for, but I always stress about who would watch my cats and how they’d survive (I know, I’m being a bit ridiculous, but I also start to feel my depression come back if I’m gone from them for more than like 2 days). I don’t need to do any huge luxurious trip that takes a shit ton of money, I just want to be able to take a trip for a long weekend or maybe a week without stressing the hell out that I’m not around my cats XD

Places where reality feels distorted...I’m wondering what they mean by this, tbh. It could mean so many things...sometimes I feel like my own reality gets distorted when I’m talking to certain clients at work, and their life stories are so different from my own life experiences that it almost feels surreal to be standing in front of them (and makes me feel hella humbled by the privileges I’ve been given in life). I also feel like it’s not reality and instead a nightmare when I look at the news nowadays... 

I realllly wanna know what other people’s answers to this question would be, and how other people interpret what it’s asking lol. 

Thanks so much for the ask!

[cannedapricot]

Police Officer! Hwang Minhyun

happy one month of scenarios from cannedapricot!! i can’t believe it’s been a month already! here’s a super short and hopefully sweet police officer! hwang minhyun. no one has gifed minhyun in the police uniform yet bUT IT’S OK I LOVE THIS GIF TOO

welcome to hongdae’s main police station

if you enter and head down the hallway, then turn right, you’ll be met with the sight of a couple dozen cops buzzing around the office

some interrogating sleasy looking men

some annoyed that they have to deal with the same crowd of teenagers again.

minhyun worked as a senior inspector at this very station

it wasn’t super high on the ranks but it was certainly impressive for this age (i think,,,, don’t quote me on it)

his co-workers loved calling him the emperor of the station because reALLY THAT’S WHAT HE’S LIKE

he sank back into his chair, tired eyes gazing over the hectic office

and downed his nth cup of coffee for the evening

this was a normal sight in the station

people talking in hushed tones, phones ringing, someone from thaT ONE SQUAD OF TEENAGERS THROWING UP

OVER THE NEWLY CLEANED FL O O R

MINHYUN LOWKEY WANTS TO THROW UP HIMSELF

INH A L ES

IT’s ok

it was worse on a friday night

or saturday early morning

minhyun was just,,,,, ready for a nap

and so without knowing, his eyes end up closing by themselves

until he was woken by junior inspector! jaehwan

“lol hyung if your that tired we could change spots-”

“as long as i’m breathing, you’re not getting promoted”

he has no idea how jaehwan even made it thus far 

“what do you need now?”

minhyun says as he sits up in his chair

“we finaLLY GOT YOU AN ASSISTANT!!!!”

“what”

“all of us thought that you were working way too hard,,,, sOOOOooOoOO WE GOT YOU A GIFT!!!”

“i’m not a thing to be given, kim jaehwan”

you said, popping into minhyun’s sight from behind jaehwan

“oops??”

you ignored jaehwan lol

“hi!! i’m y/n! i’ll be assisting you from now on!!!!”

“oh,,,, uh,,,, hi,,,,, are you trained?”

trained???

what are you???? a dog????

jk

honestly,,,,

you were just looking for a job to earn some extra money while you look for a stable job

and as if it was a miracle!!!11!!111

your old friend fromm high school, kim jaehwan, rang you up and asked if you were interested in working with a good looking dude

aka him

you shot him down

“ok how about a more average looking dude”

you agreed because wow you were running out of instant noodles

and real quick too

hE NEVER TOLD YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THIS JOB????

HE JUST CAME OVER ONE DAY AND SORTA KIDNAPPED YOU OVER TO THE STATION

YOU WERE NOT DRESSED PROFFESSIONALLY

to this day, you’re still suspicious about how jaehwan knew you needed a job

he said that he had magical powers

in reality though

he saw your snapchat story

ft. your cat and you complaining about how much your wallet was crying

and thought about how tired minhyun looked everyday

anD CONNECTED DOTS

back to your awk asf meeting with your boss

“ha,,,, tr a in e d????”

“o H,,,,, UM IT’S OK,,, I’LL JUST TEACH YOU HOW TO DO THE PAPERWORK”

cue jaehwan wiping invisible tears

“ah,,,, minhyun finally gets to relax a little *fake sobs*”

“you can leave now”

you and minhyun say at the same time

and you figured that the two of you would get along just fine

skip forward a few weeks

you and minhyun weren’t the stiff pair from two weeks ago

in fact, you two didn’t seem like just co-workers

after taking off some of the weight from minhyun’s shoulders, minhyun seemed more energetic 

instead of sitting at his desk tiredly after a day of work, he’d bring in two cups of hot coffee and meet you with a bright smile

you would return his smile of course

you and minhyun had this system were you would take most of the paper work and minhyun would take care of anything that requires him to physically be there lol

and he would return every evening with two cups of coffee and his 1000000 watt smile

iT WAS ADORABLE

ALL THE OTHER OFFICERS LOWKEY COO OVER YOU TWO

IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE TO BE HONEST

IT SEEMED LIKE YOU’VE DONE THIS JOB TOGETHER FOR YEARS

also,,,, they’ve seen the way minhyun looks away from his share of the work just to stare at you

he loves how hard working you are

of course, you were adorable normally buT SOMEHOW

YOU GET 10x MORE WHEN YOU’RE CONCENTRATING

but uh

minhyun was hopeless with girls

his co-workers figured that out

with a helpful tip off from jaehwan lmao

they legit have a group chat dedicated to playing cupid for you two

mostly gossips though

“heY JAEHWAN HAVE THEY COME BACK FROM THEIR STROLL YET???”

by stroll they mean the night duties minhyun has around the block 

he takes you along with him soooooo 👀👀👀👀

you’d be lying if you said that minhyun didn’t look 10x as good under the streetlights at night

you’d also be lying if you said that you had no feelings for him

YOU LOWKEY GET A HEART ATTACK WHENEVER YOU LOOK AT HIM

HOW DOES SOMEONE SO ETHEREAL EXIST

and his cute actions don’t help either

he openly complains to you whenever some drunk person throws up on the tiles he cleaned personally  h o u r s before

spoiler

he looks cute whining

you didn’t think he cared as much about you as you care for him

untilll ll ll lllllll  👀 👀 👀 👀

one day

you weren’t feeling 100%

so you rang up the station and told them that you were gonna take a day off

but for some reason cough the other officers purposely didn’t say anything cough minhyun didn’t get the message

when he arrived at the station, he expected you to be at your desk (less than three meters away from his own) like you were every day

bUT YOU WE R EN ‘T

enter: panic mode

he thinks that you had enough of him and quit without telling him

minhyun gets your address from jaehwan 

who was totally ready and even had your address written down on a piece of paper

minhyun didn’t even think about it lol

he zoomed over to your place

you were just lounging on your couch, your roommate gone to work for the day

you were trying your best to not let snot flow out of your nose l ma o

while going through your phone

until you heard,

frANTIC KNOCKING

your phone dropped onto your face

thAT SHIT HURTS

YOUR CAT RAN AWAY FROM YOU FROM THE NOISE IT MADE LMAO

wincing, you shuffle towards the door

not looking through the peephole, you open the door, still rubbing your nose lol

there stood hwang minhyun, emperor of the hongdae police station, trying his best to catch his breath

THE BOY RAN ALL THE WAY HERE

PROPS TO YOU MY MAN

“what- minhyun? what are you doing-”

minhyun suddenly holds you in a tight ass hug

“i’m so sorry for whatever i’ve done to offend you,,,, please don’t hate me”

you’re confused™

“what are you talking about? i took a day off because i wasn’t feeling well”

 O H

W E L L   

I S N ’ T T H I S A W K W A R D

clears throat awkwardly

also releases you awkwardly

rubs neck awkwardly

“i thought that,,,, maybe i did something,,,,, and you quit the job,,,”

he said his voice getting smaller with each word

yOU LAUGHED

“YOU’RE ADORABLE”

minhyun becomes mintomato 

“a-anyway,,, you said you weren’t feeling well? i guess i’ll make you some soup then.”

he pushes you aside and lets himself in

iNHALES SHARPLY

THE MESS YOU HAVE MADE WITH YOUR TISSUES

“y/n. what is this?”

“ah shit”

minhyun turns to you with the creepiest smile

you immediately ran to chuck the used tissues away

minhyun somehow digs out your rubber gloves and sanitizer in the meantime 

and starts spraying e v e r y t h i n g

makes you sit on the couch and not do anything

after he’s satisfied that everything was spotless

he turns to make you soup

you sigh in relief because thaNK THE HEAVENS YOUR ROOMMATE WENT GROCERY SHOPPING YESTERDAY 

so you sit on the couch, on your phone, as minhyun slaves away in the kitchen

you look over once in a while 

you saw him cutting vegetables (bOYF MATERIAL RIGHT THERE LADIES)

you also saw him ringing up the station presumably making some excuse that he couldn’t make it anymore (the co-workers know exactly what he was doing tho 👀👀)

then you saw him mucking around on his phone

seemingly like he was texting???

jaehwan perhaps

bUT UNKNOWN TO YOU

MINHYUN WAS GOING OVER WHAT TO SAY FOR HIS GREAT CONFESSION PLAN™

while the soup was taking it’s time obviously

he was typing out phrases in his messaging app

the contact being you

y/n i like you. date me

too straight-forward. no

y/n your honestly the most prettiest girl i’ve ever met lets go on a date

ew too cheesy. no

y/n i like you and your dumb quirks. even though your sick right now, you’re still the most adorable human being i’ve ever seen

lol too dumb. no-

oH SHIT

HIS THUMB BRUSHED THE SEND BUTTON

AND

IT

SENT

HE HEARS THE DING FROM THE OTHER ROOM

OH SHI-

“hey minhyun did you just send me a message?”

“y ea h ?”

he squeaked

you chuckle

“hey,, come here for a bit”

he shuffles over

you pull him by the collar and press a small kiss on his cheek

“i like you and your dumb clean freak self as well”

minhyun squeaks again

in happiness

“so,,,,,, are we,,,,, you know,,,,, a thing now?”

“if you want us to be”

yOU WERE SMILING SO BRIGHT

MINHYUN COULDN’T HELP BUT LET OUT A CUTE GRIN

“what excuse did you tell the station?”

you asked

“i said that my girlfriend was sick and i had to take care of her”

???????????

LIES

minhyun actually said something about his dog being sick

was he implying that you were a dog????? because minhyun doesn’t own a dog??????

you’re a trained dog now

minhyun grows red in embarassment

whAT DID HE JUST SA  Y

and he withers in it until you realize something

“um minhyun?”

“yeah?”

“the soup,,,,, it’s boiling and spashing out,,,,,”

MINHYUN BASICALLY FLASHED HIS WAY INTO THE KITCHEN

YOU’VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE RUN SO FAST IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE

ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH AN IDIOT POLICE OFFICER YOU NOOB

wow isn’t minhyun lowkey kinda ooc here. this is the shortest thing i’ve ever written at 1.6k,,,,, but it still took fo r ev er. DISCLAIMER: i have no idea about how the police work,,, everything here is from my imagination and the dramas i’ve watched sodufbvsb

in other news, wanna one has wrecked apricot, she is no longer alive. i juST WANT ONGNIEL TO BE HAPPY SOBS

in other, other news, happy one month kiddos!!! i love you all and stay healthy!! full length scenarios will be back after my exams!!! wait for me <3333

[squirrel-moose-winchester]

I’m Giving You a Choice

Title: I’m Giving You a Choice

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam, and God

Word Count: 2956

Warning: Angst, Out of body experience, Sad Dean, and idk…

A/N: I just want to let everyone know before hand that I can’t angst. Like I am horrible. So please tell me what you think about it. How can I improve? What could I have done better? I need your feedback so I can angst properly, or angst a little better. LOL. Once again, you’ve been warned… I can’t angst.

You were suddenly standing in front of a tall run down building. It looked oddly familiar but you just couldn’t place your finger on it. It looked like an old power plant, neglected and abandoned. It was a little eerie but there was something inside of you telling you to enter… so you did.

It was not what you expected at all. It was amazing, immaculate even. It was like a secret lair. Old and ugly on the outside to ward off other people but well-lived in the inside. It was dimly lit as you descended the stair case. The more you saw the more unbelievable it all was. But there was something in the back of your mind saying that none of this was new, that you’ve been here before.

Shaking off the thought, you wandered further into the structure. Everything was clean and neat aside from a few spots here and there. The table with a map had a few bottles of beer on top. You noticed that they were all empty. Trotting more into the living space, you found yourself in what seemed to be a library, books strewed across the table.

The books were strange, almost like occult books, but it didn’t seem to phase you as you thought it should. It almost seemed normal to see these kinds of books. They were books on witch craft, sleeping spells, demon deals, every topic that should be sending a signal warning ringing through your ears but it wasn’t. You weren’t scared, you were the opposite.

Wanting to explore more of the bunker you headed down through the halls. You peeked into different rooms but didn’t linger too long, however you did spend a few minutes in the kitchen, as a familiar feeling washed over you.

Further through the halls you came across a room that seemed to draw you in. Stopping in front of it, you spent some time gazing at the numbers. Double ones. Room number eleven.

Slowly, you opened the door, an overpowering scent filling your lungs. Your senses were sent on overdrive, feeling so many different emotions. The scent made you feel warm. It gave you some sort of comfort. It was familiar.

Stepping fully into the room, you admired the décor. It was simple with guns mounted on the walls. There was a desk caught that caught your eye. There were pictures, one particular man a common factor in every single one. He was incredibly handsome. In a few pictures with him was a woman who didn’t seem to be much younger than him. Maybe by just a few years. You assumed that she was his girlfriend. With a little tinge in your chest, you left the room and wandered a few doors down to a room whose door was wide open.

Without hesitation you stepped into the room. Everything about it made you feel like… like… it was hard to explain. It made you feel possessive? As if this room and everything inside it was yours. It appealed to you. Bits of green scattered around the room, something about the color drawing you in. Artwork posted on the walls that made you feel proud, and a giant bed that made you want to dive right into it’s warm, fluffy, memory foam nest of relaxation, so that’s what you did.

Rolling around the sheets in pure bliss, you heard a slam coming from somewhere in the bunker. You sat up straight in fear, scurrying out of the bed and trying to fix it as best you could. You were about to leave when you turned your head to take one last look at the room. When you spun forwards to run out, you came face to face with a man. It was the same man who was in all the pictures, except he looked a little different. He seemed a lot more tired and beat up. He was staring right at you and you panicked. He didn’t say anything, probably waiting for some sort of explanation to why you had broken into their… home?

“Uh, um, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to trespass, I just…” you stopped speaking when he didn’t react or give any sort of acknowledgement, and that’s when you noticed. Something was wrong. He wasn’t’ actually staring at you, he was staring past you? His eyes seemed lost, as if he was merely zoning out, but even so, you were sure that any normal human being would have responded in any kind of way once they were to see you. So what was the matter with this guy?

“Dean, hey, you okay?” Another voice interrupted, making you jump. When a taller male appeared, with long brown hair, you noticed that he too didn’t seem to recognize your presence. It was strange. You didn’t understand.

“Dean,” you said out loud, wanting to feel the way his name rolled off your tongue. It oddly felt natural, as if you’ve said that name many times before.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry Sammy, I just…”

“Sammy…” you said aloud, the name also familiar. “Dean, Sammy, can any of you hear me? See me? Hey!” There was no response at your attempt to make yourself known.

“Hey, it’s okay, c’mon let’s get to the hospital,” Sammy patted Dean on the back.

“Yeah,” Dean’s voice was rough and barely a whisper. Something was definitely wrong with him? The both of them. How could they not see you? Was this a dream?

Despite the possibility of this being a mere illusion induced my sleep, your curiosity urged you to follow them, and realizing that they couldn’t see you, you used it to your advantage to figure out what was really going on. What was wrong with Dean and why couldn’t he or Sammy see you?

You followed them through the bunker and back to the outside. The sun had gone down since you arrived, casting orange and pink hues mixed together in the sky. It was pretty but it felt a little chilly. While you were distracted from your thoughts, the sound of a car door slamming caught your attention. You rushed over to get into the back seat, just as Sam shut his own door at the driver’s seat. Anticipation churned in your stomach as the slick black car came to life. Who knew what kinds of answers would be waiting for you when you arrived at the hospital.

When Sam pulled in the parking lot of a hospital, you read the words on the building as he parked. You were in Lebanon. Lebanon, Kansas? The first word that popped into your head in association with the location was home. Home? It was strange. The feeling was like a distant memory.

When you started thinking, you began to realize that something was weird. If fact, everything was weird. Something was very wrong. Your memory… you had none. You couldn’t even remember your name. Things only looked and sounded familiar, but you had no recollection of anything. Who were you, why were you here, and who is Sammy and Dean? Something wasn’t right. Fear crept in and you suddenly felt cold, a throbbing pain coming from your head. Wincing at the sudden feeling, you tried to add pressure to the spot until it reluctantly disappeared. It was at that moment you knew something was terribly wrong and panic started to set in.

Sam exited the car, you following suit. He walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for Dean who just sat there, his eyes carrying that dazed look he had earlier back at the bunker. What was up with him? Did he have some sort of mental issue?

Sam helped Dean out of the car as you stared at him trying to conjure any sort of answers. There was a darkness in his eyes, as if there was a lot on his mind. His dull green eyes shifted to the hospital building, tears glossing them over and pooling on his bottom lids.

“Dean, it’ll be okay. She’s fine,” Sam comforted him, but got no reaction. He let out a deep sigh and patted him on the shoulder. “Come on, she’s waiting for us.”

Your brows furrowed wondering who they were talking about? Was this girl the reason why Dean was so out of it?

Walking through the hospital doors, you saw the nurse give them a sweet yet apologetic smile. They must have been here before. There was a sort of familiarity between them.

“Hey Joyce,” Sam greeted.

“Hi Sam, Dean. Y/N would be happy that you guys came to visit,” she smiled.

“Thanks,” Sam replied, pain swirling in his hazel orbs.

“Y/N,” you said the name out loud. The name suddenly made you feel nauseous. You couldn’t understand why. Who was that person? You were sure you’ve heard that name many times before but nothing came to mind. You didn’t know who it was or where you’d heard it. You were becoming increasingly more frustrated.

Sam lead Dean down the white sanitized hallway, making multiple turns until they stopped in front of a room door. The numbers 114 on it, and the anticipation built drastically within you wanting to see who was behind the door, but at the same time terrified of what you were going to find. There were so many emotions swimming around inside you. It felt too real to be a dream.

The door squeaked ajar and you held your breath. Just as Sam opened the door all the way, Dean rushed in taking the seat beside the bed. Sam entered next, sighing in exhaustion. You peaked in to see who it was but Dean’s body blocked your view.

“Y/N, hey, it’s Dean. I’m here baby, please wake up. Sammy’s here too, we miss you so much.” Dean’s voice shook, a firm indication that he was crying. Sam remained silent, listening to his brother and staring at the person laying on the hospital bed.

Not daring to enter just yet, you let your eyes roam the room, observing the monitors and IV bag that was most likely hooked to the patient. The beeping from the monitor was steady and consistent, making you believe that the girl should be okay and her healing coming along.

“Hey, Y/N. We’re waiting to take you back home, all you need to do is wake up,” Sam muttered, his voice dropping down to a whisper half way through his words.

“God, baby I am so sorry. I’m so sorry I let this happen to you,” Dean croaked.

“But it wasn’t your fault,” the words just slipped out of your mouth. You were a little surprised not knowing why you suddenly said that.

The sharp pain you had experienced early in your head shot through you suddenly. You groaned stumbling forward, bumping into the door before falling to your hands and knees. Both men snapped their heads in the direction of the noise, witnessing the door move. You were a panting mess, clutching the side of your head. When you opened your eyes the pain was gone.

“What was that?” Sam questioned before getting up and walking past you, scanning outside of the little room. “There’s no one around,” he muttered.

“Do you… do you think it’s Y/N?” Dean’s voice raised into a panic.

“Dean, the doctor said she’s fine. We just need to talk to her and she’ll wake up eventually,” Sam assured.

“And what if she doesn’t Sam!” Dean shouted, frustration getting the best of him. “I did this to her! It was my fault that this happened. I should have been there; I shouldn’t have let her come on this hunt!” Dean clutched her hand and lowered his head against it just as you stood up from the floor.

Your body froze the moment you saw her face… it was the woman in all those photos with him. A switch inside you flipped and you suddenly knew who she was. It was you. Your eyes widened in panic and shock, not knowing what to believe. What the hell was going on and what the hell were you doing laying on a hospital bed?!  How could you be standing here right now and also be laying there! Were you dead?! Were you a ghost right now?

“What’s going on?!” You shouted. Sam and Dean unexpectedly whipping their heads in different directions, searching franticly around the room.

“Did you hear that?” Dean questioned, his eyes wide as they landed on Sam.

“Yeah,” Sam responded. “It was faint, but I definitely heard it.”

“It sounded like…”

“Yeah, it did.”

“Y/N?” Dean called.

Out of nowhere, as gust of wind surrounded you and your memories came rushing back. It was a hunt. You were fighting against monsters, a gang of ghouls who had taken form of your friends. They masqueraded as Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, Jo and Ellen. You remembered the feeling it gave you when you saw their faces. You remember fighting, and then you remembered being thrown into the air, hitting your head hard on a tombstone before seeing Charlie hovering over you, punching your face repeatedly until she was ripped away from you. You vaguely remember Sam coming up to you asking if you were okay until everything went black.

“What the hell is happening?” Your words coming out strangled.

“You’re dying,” a voice sounded from behind you. Jerking around, your eyes widened, not expecting to see him again. “You’re currently in a coma in which you’re slowly fading away.”

“G-god?”

“Hey there, Y/N, it’s been a long time,” he smiled.

“What the hell? If I’m dying, then why didn’t I have my montage of happy memories?!” You spat, unable to believe him.

“Because I’m giving you a choice. You are a part of ‘Team Free Will’ after all.”

“What are you trying to say, Shurley,” you demanded.

He let out a sigh, “You are definitely a member of the Winchesters, such a short temper,” he shook his head. “And I just said it, I am giving you a choice.”

“A choice to live? A choice to remain a spirit? Or a choice to go to heaven or hell or where ever the hell I’m supposed to go? What is it?”

“Oh, that’s what you meant!” God laughed, causing you to roll your eyes. “I’m giving you a choice to live. They need you, Dean needs you, but if you’re done, then I can bring you home.”

Home. The thought of home raked through your mind. The bunker was home, Sam was home, Dean was home. The only home you wanted was where ever Dean was. Dean. You wanted to be with Dean.

“Dean,” was all you managed to say.

“Good choice. He’s definitely lost without you,” God smiled. “You’ve suffered a great head trauma and had been in a coma for two months and he still hasn’t recovered. Good luck, Y/N. Be careful out there,” Chuck said before disappearing.

“Y/N, can you hear me? Are you here?” Dean was shouting at your sleeping form while Sam scanned around the small hospital room for any sort of sign of your presence.

A small cough came from your lying form on the sterile bed. Dean and Sam getting whiplash from how quick they turned their attention to you. Both men took a sharp breath in shock and relief. Sam shot up from his seat running out to call a doctor while Dean gently lunged himself at you, cupping your cheeks in his hands before pressing a hard and deep kiss on your dry and chapped lips. The feeling of him brought warmth through your body, loving the feeling of being alive.

“Dean,” you whispered, your voice raspy and dry.

“Baby, I’m right here! Thank God you’re okay! That you’re awake!”

“You really should be thanking God,” you coughed.

Sam came rushing back with a half full glass of water, his hand soaking wet. You attempted to laugh but your throat was too dry. Sam passed the glass to Dean who glared at him. Sam shrugged before Dean pressed the glass to your lips, tilting it forwards allowing you to lubricate your rusty throat.

When Dean retracted the glass away, you finally let out a soft laugh, causing both Winchesters to smile. “What’s so funny?” Dean asked.

“Sammy, how fast did you run here?”

“What makes you think I ran?” He grinned down at you with brotherly adoration.

“Your hand is all wet,” you chuckled.

Sam’s cheeks reddened at being caught. “I just wanted to get back here as soon as possible. The nurse should be on her way.”

Just then the nurse entered with a clipboard in hand smiling at you before shifting a glare towards Sam who shrunk at her accusing stare. “You left a little mess behind Mr. Winchester,” she scolded.

“Sorry, I just wanted to get back here,” he apologized, the nurse’s face softening.

“Miss Y/L/N, how are you feeling? I’m hoping he was able to get some of the water back here for you to drink?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, I had some water, and I’m feeling alive,” you responded.

The nurse did her routinely dismissal check ups. After an hour or so, she came back handing the paper work to Dean. “Well, that settles everything. Mr. Winchester, all you need to do is fill out these forms and bring them to the front desk. Y/N is all set to leave. Just take these vitamins twice a day until you run out and everything will be fine,” she announced.

“That’s it? It’s that quick?” Dean asked?

“It’s that quick,” Chuck rounded the corner, entering the room. “The three of you, along with Castiel, have work to do.”

Click here to leave feedback (please.)

[canaryatlaw]

ok, so today was overall not too bad. I woke up to my alarm at 9:25. I tried to vary my alarm wake up songs a bit last night, because I have different alarms for different days, so I changed the days to different ones. So I got up and went to PT, though I was very tempted to stay in bed, I did make myself get up and go. Not gonna lie though, when I was like doing the child pose with my head against the mat and then while I was lying on the table I was really fucking tempted to just like pass out, but I did resist. it went better than the last two sessions being that I didn’t have to leave early because my body couldn’t handle any more exercises. I think the tremors in my hands are getting worse, they’ve just been really common lately and not doing well. I just had that thought because a lot of my muscles have been getting shaky at PT when I’m probably overdoing it. Oh well. I went to school afterwards, decided to walk even though it was getting cold, but oh well. Made it there and sat in the PAD office for a few eating my yogurt, then going to civil rights. class was fine, I knew I wasn’t gonna get called on because I got called on last class, so I didn’t read the entire case that was assigned, but oh well. It was our second to last class, Monday will be the last one. that definitely snuck up on me. After class I went back to the PAD office and didn't really do anything productive I don't think, as far as my legal drafting assignment I basically said fuck it because I’ve spent enough time stressing out about it and if she’s not even going to give me a fucking good grade anyway even though my arguments are fucking flawless, so fuck it. Around 3 I headed out to go to my haircut appointment, took the bus up Michigan Ave to where the Ulta is. I got there a little early so I looked around a bit, urban decay has this new mascara that I got a mini size of that I really liked but when I wore it when we were going to see Love, Simon I discovered it was not waterproof because I cried so much and it was all over my face, lol. So I wanted to see if it came in a waterproof version, but sadly it didn’t. And like, I’m really liable to burst into tears at any given moment, so I should really always be prepared for that. But I got my hair cut, kept it a bit longer in the front because I’ve been digging the longer bangs look, but took it short in the back because I don’t like it getting all shaggy back there. As always I had a pleasant discussion with my hair lady, I like her a lot for both her hair skills and her personality, we’re like legit invested in each other’s lives at this point lol. We talked about her cousin for a while, she had just gone to see him over Easter weekend and had talked with him for a while. He had attempted suicide twice over the past year and my hair lady knew I was sort of a mental health advocate so she had been asking me about the situation for a while now. It was definitely a hard conversation for her to have with her cousin, he’s definitely gone from being actively suicidal to passively suicidal, which is an improvement, but it’s still not a sustainable state that someone can stay in for any significant period of time. Basically it sounds like he needs to find something to live for, because that seems to be what’s lacking at this point, so I just said if you can find even one thing, no matter how insignificant it is, take it if it gets you through the day and worry about tomorrow when it happens. We also talked about Serial and Adnan because she always wants updates on the case so I happily told her the new trial was upheld, but then I had to tell her Brendan Dassey’s new trial had been reversed, and that sucks. But yeah, it was a good discussion and I’m digging how my hair looks. I spent a little while looking around Ulta afterwards because I needed to grab a few things, a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer for my purse, more mascara since I’m out of the waterproof stuff, and I was running out of concealer. I had been using the Sephora store brand concealer, but obviously at Ulta I couldn't get that, so I wandered for a bit before checking out the stuff they had at Mac, and ended up getting some help from one of the ladies that worked there with a concealer and foundation because I actually did need a better quality foundation because I can never find one that actually looks good on me, they always end up looking too yellow or too pale, but I figured someone else’s judgment who actually knows what they’re talking about would probably be helpful. I ended up picking up a mascara I had previously had and liked pretty well. I dropped a fair amount of money on the items, but I mean, I know they’re good quality and they’ll last me a while so it’s worth it. I hopped on a bus back to school (it’s legit just a straight shot down the road) and then ran to starbucks and got one of my basic white girl venti pink drink because I was gonna have a salad for dinner so I at least deserve a starbucks drink. I returned to the PAD office to find my friend there, so we chatted while I ate the salad I brought from home, one of the ready to go kit things, and it was fine I guess. Went up to secured transactions, and probably paid more attention than I had in any class period for that course up to this point, which is a good thing because it was the last class period we had, just the final in a few weeks left. It’s the first class I’m finished with, I’ll be done with legal drafting tomorrow night and then civil rights and remedies on Monday, and then I’ll be done with classes for...ever? God I hope so. I don’t want anymore schooling in my life, I’ve really had enough, 20 years with only one year off is just too much for any sane individual. It was lightly raining when I got out of class and I was debating switching to the brown line from the red line where it intersects, but then we got stuck in the red line train for a while because there was somebody having a medical emergency on the train which had us waiting for at least a solid 15 minutes, so then to try and reset the schedule they went express from that stop to one 3 before mine, which is pretty nuts, but it helped with timing at least, though I obviously couldn’t switch to the brown line now, so I was stuck walking home in the rain. It wasn’t awful, the rain wasn’t very heavy, but by the time I got home my sneakers were pretty much soaked through so I was glad to get out of the rain. I got home around 9:20 or so, so I turned on Designated Survivor. Lot of complicated feelings about this episode. I’m used to their plots largely being self-contained in one episode, it normally resolves itself before the episode is over (not the larger ongoing plots with Hannah and stuff, just the present stuff they’re dealing with) so for the whole thing to be largely leading up to next week felt kind of odd. I have mixed feelings about Michael J. Fox joining the show, and I fully admit this is mistaking the character for the actor, but I just hated him on the good wife so fucking much and this character actually seems very similar so I’m already like, sending mental hate daggers at him lol. I was not at all happy to see in the preview that it looks like they’re setting up Andrea to be the leaker and they’re going to ruin the beautiful budding romance between Kirkman and Andrea, my Jack and Audrey from way back in the day, because why can’t we have just one nice thing dammit?!!!??!! I love them together too much for them to get torn apart by something this stupid. So I wasn’t pleased with that. But yeah, we’ll see what happens next week. After I finished the episode I watched the news for a little then the beginning of Jimmy Kimmel before getting ready for bed. I showered but didn’t wash my hair because it was washed earlier today, then did the rest of my normal routine which led me up to this moment. It’s a bit past 1, thankfully I get to sleep in tomorrow so that isn’t too terrible. Tomorrow is gonna be dedicated to making final edits on this stupid legal drafting assignment before I have to turn it in tomorrow night at class, so let’s hope that works out well. And yeah, that’s it. Sleep now. Goodnight babes. Stay wonderful.