#Shauna fucked her boyfriend and ate her

[porcelaintoybox23]

I think we as a society need to discuss the fact that many of you have not moved on from your high school bully and need to seek therapy. Too often I see social media mobs attacking, threatening and trying to get random women fired and harassed because they remind you of your high school bully. You’re an adult. Harassing a bunch of 20-year-olds into losing their livelihoods because they rolled their eyes or said something mean, is overkill.

That’s probably why a lot of people seem to hate characters who are objectively just kind of mean versus characters who are actively evil. That’s a little less relevant, though.

[lottieurl]

Did Jackie really love Shaunna or was her relationship with her based more on control/ownership, superiority?

right so outside of my inbox you're free to have whatever interpretation you want of this show and i'll just scroll and ignore it but you really came to My Inbox to bait me with that boring ass shit huh. for what reason. but anyways yeah let's talk about why that is blatantly untrue not only because it's contrary to the intention of literally every creator who spoke about it but also because of what we see on screen

so. you focused on jackie specifically. i somehow never see people (on here at least i don't ever leave this website it's scary out there) doubt shauna's love for jackie and that's been bothering me since like mid season 1 sooooo is it cause. let's face it. majority of tumblrinas were never a Popular Girl (no offense. i was not the popular girl either and very much more of a shauna - in terms of being in my bestie's shadow - in my own toxic best friendship)? like i have seen people vilifying jackie since i stepped my foot in this fandom over a year ago even when objectively she's one of the only characters who doesn't really do anything bad. even when the characters themselves confirm she wasn't a goddamn bitch like my god episode ONE of season one is them talking about wanting to freeze out a member and how jackie would be against it. but because people relate more to shauna and how she's in jackie's shadow there seems to be an urge to not give the same space to be messy and toxic (and still love!) to jackie that people give to shauna.

now am i saying that the way jackie loved shauna was Definitely Healthy or whatever? no. i think shauna was correct in a lot of what she said to jackie before jackie's death except that's it isn't it? shauna was never honest with jackie. the LOOK on jackie's face when shauna says some of those things? that girl didn't even have any idea that shauna doesn't like fucking soccer cause shauna never told her. and jackie is so visibly actually INSECURE. is it possible that feeling like the popular one next to shauna made her feel good? even if only on a subconscious level? duh. but what are you even trying to say here? that every scene where we see how much she cares for shauna (teasing her in ep one but then making sure shauna knows how much she means to her, bringing her valium for the flight because she Knows shauna and wanted to make this experience easier for her, giving her a good luck necklace to calm her nerves, sharing that food ration, immediately hugging shauna and wanting to support her when she first found out shauna was pregnant, fucking saving her from the plane at the expense of van etc) is all some act? cause that girl can't even fake being into sex with her boyfriend so we're still saying she puts a hell of a lot more effort into pretending to care for shauna. sure

[chasingfictions]

shauna literally ate jackie . remember that. girls when will anyone ever step up to the plate like that again. when will anyone ever get pregnant by the boyfriend of their girlbestfriend in the process of trying to proxy fuck the girlbestfriend and then doing that Kills your girlbestfriend. then you keep her frozen body in the meatshed for two months and pose her body and do her makeup and hallucinate her trying to sexually torment you with words. and then you eat her.

[tabithatwo]

JackieShauna ofc 😌

Ship of all ships for me in case you can’t tell LOL. I could talk about them forever (and have lol) but I’ll just start by saying these two IGNITED my desire to write. I had never really considered it before. They launched my first adulthood media hyperfixation lol—both their relationship as teens AND Shauna’s immense grief and haunting as an adult. I love all the characters on Yellowjackets and so many ships, but these two get to me like nothing else. Fucking ship of all time to me. I went on ao3 (had not read fanfic since I was like…maybe 15?) and devoured every fic there was (not very many at the time!) and when there weren’t really adult jackie shauna aus, that’s when I was like well fuck. Guess I gotta learn to write!

They way that neither the characters as individuals or their relationship can be figured in simple terms, the way stereotypes and the destruction of them impact these two, the way they loved each other so fucking deeply it destroyed them. They were so painfully and beautifully intertwined and that didn’t end when Jackie died. That shit is Shakespearean. That’s a Greek tragedy. That’s fucking everything to me.

One cannot possibly exist without the other. And that’s so incredibly dangerous. Jackie died because she thought shauna was done with her, shauna has never lived a day without Jackie’s memory consuming her. Because she likes it like that. She needs it like that. (She held her corpse! She ate her ear! She consumed Jackie’s flesh and then she cloaked herself in the life she tells herself jackie would’ve lived! She married her boyfriend! She is never more than 5 feet from a rabbit of some sort! She rereads the journals she wrote in with her hallucination! She blows out her birthday candles!)

They were equally devoted to one another, but they didn’t know it ran both ways.

The things they did with men as incidentals: shauna telling jeff to say I love you after Jackie didn’t say it back (adult shauna saying THE SMELL OF OTHER PEOPLE ON HIM TURNED HER ON HELLO?), Jackie leading travis to SHAUNAS BED and looking at her over her shoulder as she did it. Just peak teen lesbian comphet/closeted/repressed/anywhere on that spectrum. UGH.

I love them I love them I love them and they break my heart so fucking intricately.

send me asks for yellowjackets ships!

[saintshauna]

shauna shipman is the scariest girl in history!! she ate jackie’s ear and nibbled on her wrist when she didn’t even have to!!! no one was eating bitches yet! but shauna was :) she skinned and chopped up javi with no issue, not even a word <3 she DULLED her knives to play what she thought was a FAKE hunt w the adult girlies. she beat lottie to the edge of her life and then went to sleep. she made her only child an accomplice to a murder which she felt no remorse for!!! she does NOT care about collateral damage babe. she wrote that jackie “made her feel invisible” so she FUCKED HER BOYFRIEND AND BORE HIS CHILD AND SENTENCED HER TO DEATH AND PLAYED DOLLS W HER CORPSE AND ATE HER RAW FLESH WHEN THERE WAS STILL FOOD AVAILABLE!!! maybe she didn’t plan all those things but if she felt truly bad about any of them you’d never know. i love the idea that shauna loved jackie in a way that she didn’t understand / didn’t have an outlet for and i agree but this isn’t all love!! part of what makes shauna shipman so compelling and so interesting is that she contains a deep, intrinsic, irredeemable evil. she is violent and deluded and truly madly deeply fucked up beyond measure to her very core and u could tell IMMEDIATELY in s1. it was brewing in there even before the crash. and i love that for her!! let women and girls be evil! let them be so dangerous and threatening and unstable that they cannot even be chosen as leader of their cannibal girl group!!! i LOVE that shauna has tangible dark energy and is both naturally and irreparably vicious. she will kill u and throw you in the garbage. she will pick your bones and think nothing of it no matter who you are to her. she will have an excuse and it will satisfy her plenty bc she has no semblance of normally operating conscience. and i love her i love her i love her i love her!!!! 💗💕💞💓💖

[lheautontimoroumenos]

more thoughts on jackie,shauna .

oooh now you're asking for trouble anon. this is kinda wide so i'll swing wide (this starts and end with codependency though) and go with no plan. if you want something specific pls send another ask.

so. jackie. shauna. or rather jackieshauna. no space between them right? (that's probably the only thing that makes me accept this as the ship name instead of shaunackie).

(i have to put a read more because this is long as fuck believe me)

we know shauna and jackie have been friends for years, probably since they got into school.

we didn't get to see much about jackie's parents when she was still a kid but jackie doesn't seem to hold her mom or her dad in her heart. and yet when she's gone it seems all they can talk about is her.

they're a mirror of shauna's reaction in that they can't seem to let go. even if they probably didn't tell her they loved her, or said it but didn't show it in a way that jackie could receive it (or maybe jackie's mom was too worried about her valium problems), they have to fill the void. they have to believe she'll come back and everything will be the same. that's why her room is left untouched, that's why they make her gifts that she wouldn't even have liked when they celebrate her birthday every year with a picture from when she was 17.

and shauna can't bear to go see them, she suffers every year at jackie's birthday, first because of the guilt she still has regarding jackie's death, and then because she has to go to the taylor's house. they show her just what she's been doing this whole time.

in 101, shauna masturbates while looking at her daughter's boyfriend's picture because she's stuck in the past. in her world jackie's still alive, and in a way callie is jackie to her. because she's a part of jeff and jeff was a part of jackie (which is why shauna went after him). and in this scene, callie's boyfriend is jeff in shauna's head, even unconsciously (interesting to note that callie ends up dumping him and makes you think about what could have been).

and at the end of the episode, where her control kind of slipped because of the "journalist" looking into her past, she immediately went to read her journals. and not the end of it, when jackie's gone, but the very beginning, right after the crash. and not any part either, but the part where she shares and doubts jackie's hopeful sentiment. they have to find us right? they're gonna go get us? why haven't they found us?

so she's right back in it, really she never left. when nat dies, young nat tells her she never even left the plane, lottie says they brought "it" back with them, but there was no "it", "it" was just us. they brought themselves back, teenage them that was still happy and fine (none of them were fine).

so shauna's back in new jersey, she brought her teenage self back, and with her, teenage jackie. jackie's still here with her all the time, in her journals and her hallucinations and in jackie's parents house. because they're a single being, a unit. they're inseparable, a bit of jackie is part of shauna, she ate her, jackie kept shauna alive and now shauna's keeping jackie alive.

and if she's teenage shauna then she's fine, right? she doesn’t have a single problem. but she also feels guilty all the time. if jackie's alive and shauna's married to jeff then she's just betraying her again and again. and callie is the walking talking manifestation of that. she's both the proof that jackie's alive and dead. that she's still there all the time but gone forever. exhibit: callie in jackie's uniform. (and she falls back in her pattern of lying and hiding things in her affair with adam, that starts because of jeff in shauna's mind, the same way she slept with jeff because of jackie).

and honestly? she can make people believe she's fine as long as jackie stays in her. as long as jackie's hers really. but as soon as she's torn away from her insides, jackie becomes dangerous, she hurts and she tears something away from shauna, she takes her away from herself. when she's dating jeff she alienates shauna from herself. when she's put in front of jackie at her birthday she drops her filter, she says she doesn't even like callie (but she can't help loving her), when callie wears jackie's uniform at the party shauna's forced to open up and in spite of her efforts the façade falls.

if jackie isn't hers and hers only then shauna's falling apart. codependency at its finest and at its worst.

and it's not like jackie exempt of that either, we just get less time to see it. but shauna throws it all in her face when they fight in 110, she made her play soccer so they'd stay together, she tells her what to wear so that shauna will stay hers in a way, she assumes shauna's going to rutgers with her and that they'll be best friends forever and that nothing will ever go wrong because her life is perfect (not touching on heteronormativity here but it sure is present imo). she feels left out as soon as shauna starts hanging out with tai in the wilderness, she doesn't want anything to do with the thing that's taking shauna away from her and into the group's good graces (her butchering skills).

that's, I think, the fundamental difference in the way they deal with their codependency. shauna runs toward what's breaking it because she thinks that looking at it up close will either make it disappear or will spontaneously provide a solution to her problem (exhibit: fucking jeff, going to jackie's room at the taylor's, opening up to callie at the party). she grasps blindly at the last of what she thought was a constant in her life, she tries to keep the control and often ends up making things worse (though if holding on fails, shauna's solution is to kill and destroy so she can keep this control).

whereas jackie runs away from it. she keeps an order about things and the relationship but if it looks like it's about to blow then she's gone (exhibit: leaving the cabin after the fight, going buddy buddy with mari at the lake when she feels shauna pulling away from her, not investing herself in any "useful" activity at the camp). where shauna tries hard as she can to hold on to what is slipping away, jackie just lets it go.

they're like deers that get too close to each other and get their antlers tangled (i think there's a poem about this that i'll try to find) and caught in each other and trying to pull away just ends up killing them. it's not that they got too close for comfort, it's that they got so close, getting away from each other even for an inch or a second would kill them. they couldn't live without each other.

but they also got so close they couldn't see each other as a whole. they have to take each other at face value because it's all they can see at this point. jackie died because she couldn't live without the image she made of shauna in her head, the image of an even younger shauna that followed jackie around without a care in the world because this jackie was hers, and hers only.

and shauna is still alive, only because she carries with her an image of a teenage jackie that both forgave her (which allows her to keep carrying jackie with her) and holds her accountable (being cruel though honest justifies shauna's outburst during the fight, if jackie was mean to her then she kind of deserved it right?) which in turn absolves shauna.

they couldn't keep living together the way they were so they had to tear themselves away from each other.

yet even physically apart, there is no way to think one without feeling the other.

[bagilgulhaze]

I'm not going to analyze right n wrong shauna jackie bc it's obviously gay n repressed storyline and I refuse to analyze it through different lens where that's what's interesting like in Jennifer's body etc. But like Jackie literally didnt do anything wrong and it's so weird to see you guys talk about shauna finally standing up to her etc. Jackie was amazing friend who was within her right to be angry finding out her best friend had sex with her boyfriend?? That doesnt mean teenage shauna is that bad, within the scope of highschool cheating or even just cheating doesnt make you evil and doomed. But that's a shitty ass move, and trying to turn it back around on jackie as if jackie controlled her when she never resisted that idea to EXCUSE her behavior which was downright inconsiderate and jealous... and like a night after they tried to rape a dude and murder him and attacked her for sleeping with someone.. again this is not interesting analysis the thing I want to talk about but if we have to like lets face the facts. None took responsibility for what they did while high, even treated it as wrong, they accused her for fucking someone who's an adult capable of making his own decisions, weeks after he and his gf broke up as if its equal, as if even straight up cheating is equal. Not pulling her weight isnt the same and she is not acting entitled she truly looks struggling, spoiled maybe but again, not on par and not justifying the prior cheating. Shauna could simply talk to her, this isnt standing up this is jealousy and it's not pretty (it's not suppose to be nothing about any of it is pretty). Its just I'm not sitting here analyzing why its shit jennifer ate needys boyfriend bc it's not about it like it doesnt matter but some of u have skewed views of like interpersonal relationships. She is a popular teenage girl who was literally always kind, always caring etc. That's part of the tragedy she really truly was a good person and that's part of why she was so well liked.

[docholligay]

“We are what we pretend to be. So we must be careful what we pretend to be”

Hello! This is about up to Episode 3 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 3 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the third episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

I have never read the Vonnegut novel that quote above is from. I confess to keeping a bit of distance from Vonnegut through absolutely no fault of his own, but because his fans tend to be incredibly insufferable and some of his lines make great tattoos and insta posts for people who read one book a year. If that sounds judgmental, congratulations, you’ve passed the tone portion of the reading comprehension test.

Anyway, I don’t think you need to know the context for the first quote, because on the one hand, it’s what we would call in the literary world: foreshadowing. My immediate reaction was “Oh, he’s the sort of dude who wants you to know he reads Vonnegut” although in full fairness most of those dudes immediately after say, ‘that’s Kurt Vonnegut” so I might be unfair there. But he fits a lot of the profile: he’s young, he considers himself charming, he’s outre and considers himself an individual, all that. And that’s not wrong, maybe. This scene is doing a lot of things at once, it can definitely juggle that.

BUT.

What this is, is the show:

A) Putting a red flag in front of Adam. I have thought Adam was a liar and maybe doing the same shit as the reporter for awhile now, but this confirms it. he’s pretending. This whole thing with Shauna is manufactured and is abotu something that has nothing to do with Shauna, and how the fuck is Shauna going to react when she realizes that this person she’s throwing herself at to make herself feel alive again, this person she’s throwing herself at because she’s tired of fucking the corpse of her love and hatred for her best friend through her husband, who, if he isn’t Jeff the old boyfriend I will eat my fucking hat, this person she feels SOME KINSHIP with, is playing her.

This whole episode is about playing, I think that’s why it’s called The Dollhouse. Playing at adulthood, playing at love, playing at marriage, and also, Adam is playing at seduction.

B) Offering up a thesis statement for the show. All of these girls are actively hiding and pretending to be the thing they are (except, actually, Misty, who has no gift for such things. More on her in her own post, the little scamp. I hate her so much and she’s the greatest character of all time).

Shauna is playacting at being a stay at home mom because she thinks that’s safe, but she’s someone who fucking ate a girl and also participated in the murder of at least one. She is, to go back to an earlier post, a wolf full on masquerading as a RABBIT, because she’s living jackie’s life as a source of atonement.

Taissa is a good upright clean liberal with a nice family, on paper. She’s pretending to be that, and not the cunning and dangerous wolf she is with a child who is either literally or figuratively haunted by the specter of Tai’s grandmother, which I think might be some kind of statement about tai’s interaction with mortality and knowing, but I want to see more show before I come down anywhere on that. Anyhow.

Nat is pretending to be clean when even at her fucking best she was just a dry drunk. “I’m not high, if it matters.” But you’re still arrested. She’s pretending to be a tough girl, when she’s the girl to whom I would most easily affix “pathetic and wet” She’s a fucking sandcastle of a human being, and I actually do not think adult Nat will survive the show though i don’t know the means by which i think that’ll happen the call could easily come from inside the house but I don’t know the narrative place being set well enough to know if that’ll serve it.

ANYHOW. In pretending to be these things, do they risk becoming them? Or is the risk in that, at a very formative time in their lives, they pretended to be a pack of wolves? And so they became it. It seems as if it cannot be unmade.

And Shauna replies with another Vonnegut quote, from a novel i HAVE read: “And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.”

So Slaughterhouse-Five is about war, and trauma, and particularly the effects of war and trauma on children. I’m really really collapsing the book in on itself, which is a good book, a great book, even if it is one of those books someone reads when they’re fucking seventeen and thinks that’s pretty much it--HOLD ON YES THAT IS THE POINT TOO.

Shauna is smart, but is she just, seventeen smart? Is this response just another of the ways in which Shauna is trapped in the moment of the crash? In the aftermath? Amazing.

Anyway, that quote is early on in the book and for me, though, I last read it probably a decade ago, comes to tie together the notion of time, and how time is like standing in a field of wildflowers, and you could never gather them all, and if you did, it would never be like seeing that field, and that is part of the beauty of human existence, is we can only keep so much of each moment. The present is all around us, and beyond us, and so little of it can stay.

Now, I don’t know if the writers/shauna are seeing it the same way, but her response is doing two things: On a chracter level it’s establishing relationship between her and Adam. She feels CLOSENESS with him, being so equally affected by the same author to offer up a quote in reply. Two, it does, in some way, reply to his quote. If I were going to smack at that pitch, I would say it’s saying, “Don’t pretend to be fine with things, or you’ll become fine with them.” “My present is a fucking marianas trench of complication and even I am not sure what is me anymore.”

And then Adam asks a question I fucking LOVE about confirming a suspicion: “And once you do, will it make you happier?” I think about this a lot. DO people want the truth? I don’t think they do this has not been my observation of human nature. That’s not even a criticism, I don’t even always want the truth, sometimes I would prefer a half-truth or concealment or even a full on lie. I am a very big fan of being honest with ourselves, of being candid. Don’t seek answers you don’t want.

And she says no. And he says ‘You’re beautiful when you’re honest”

And I’m trapped between thinking that Shauna is never honest, not even now, and thinking that Shauna doesn’t even know what it means to be honest, because she is still emotionally processing something that happened to her so long ago that it’s a memory suitable for commemorative coins. Both come to the same end, but they FEEL different to me.

[eastgaysian]

yayyyy ming so excited that ur watching Yellowjackets!!! what r ur thoughts so far

i'd been meaning to get around to it for a while and now i'm like my god. why didn't i watch this sooner. i'm having a lot of fun!! there's something really satisfying about a show premised on the fact that you already know what's going to happen, but the process of getting there is the fascinating part.

all of the characters are so interesting and i'm invested in all of their plotlines but i think shauna's my favorite because of how fucking crazy her relationship with jackie is. getting married to jackie's high school boyfriend and having a daughter and keeping jackie's old uniform in her closet. but she doesn't talk about jackie. and she doesn't want to talk about what happened in the past but she also wants to relive the high school experiences she never got to have (with jackie) (because of jackie) (because jackie died) (and she ate her). like. shauna oh my god. there is far too much going on for lesbian sex to fix you but i hope you get to have lesbian sex

[cannibalgenders]

Hello Niche Lesbians, thank you for the 6 (six) likes- 

The Eightfold word is described by Ianthe Tridentarius as a series of specific necromantic theorems, or steps, but I’m less interested in the literal and technical aspects of those than I am with the aims. Silas describes Lyctorhood as “...[walking] with the dead forever...enormous power, recycled within you, from the ultimate sacrifice...to make yourself a tomb” (GtN, p.385) and I think that sums up my thoughts quite nicely. The process, dumbed down, involved killing someone, or them dying. Knowing their soul inside and out. Absorbing that soul inside of you. Fixing it in place so it becomes a part of you, as inseparable as any other. Consuming the flesh. And living the rest of your life under the power and shadow provided by that which you have sacrificed. 

Now, the Eightfold Word doesn’t actually require the Necromancer to murder their Cavalier, but out of the original Lyctors we know about (plus the two bonus babies) only Alfred, Cristabel, and [BIG GtN SPOILERS] are implied or shown to have died by suicide. It’s implied all other Cavaliers were directly killed by their Necro. Now, you and I know that Shauna wasn’t directly responsible for Jackie’s death, but she was absolutely the catalyst and considers herself to be the responsible party. 

There’s no confirmation that Ianthe’s steps and order are both 100% correct and necessary to the process, and we never see the way [REDACTED] goes through it exactly, but essentially the other steps are focused on the themes of consumption, absorption, etc. Two people become one, violently. We see throughout season one the way Jackie and Shauna are toxically entangled. They cannot picture futures without each other, Shauna lays claim to Jackie’s boyfriend for the scraps of Jackie left over on his skin, Jackie cuts Shauna down verbally to lap up the blood, both poke and prod and twist their way into each other’s wounds, and as we see from the 2021 timeline, it was a SUCCESSFUL Lyctoral joining. 

Jackie represented society and the order imposed in the girls that began to slip away the minute their plane crashed. With what they had to do to survive, it was necessary for Jackie to die, and we see Shauna come into her power soon after Jackie’s death, living a life blended up with Jackie’s ghost, with Jackie’s boyfriend, with Jackie’s parents, with Jackie’s rabbit symbolism and Jackie’s voice in her head reminding her that she got all of this, she earned her very life from the freedom and the shackles Jackie’s death provided her. 

Away from Jackie, Shauna can be her own person. Away from Jackie, Shauna can never be her own person, she was forged in Jackie’s blood and rose from Jackie’s ashes. 

And how does this transformation come about? The way I (FUCKING KNEW IT) predicated it would. If Lottie is the Jod of this metaphor, Shauna is the first Saint to serve the Emperor Undying. She took her humanity, her morals, her better half, her insecurities, her grounding technique, her first love, and she ate her and she made herself a tomb. Their entire friendship was a co-dependant exercise in devouring each other and Shauna found a way to feed off of Jackie forever. 

Hello Niche Lesbian Tumblr one like and I will explain how Shauna and Jackie Yellowjackets have gone through the steps of the Eightfold Word and Shauna became a Lyctor with Jackie as her Cavalier, thematically

[lesbiannebonny]

kind of obsessed with yellowjackets right now

[chasingfictions]

lottie's unrecognizable bleeding face. lottie having a jackiecoded death dream after the girls cast her out and expect her to save them and in so doing essentially attempt to sacrifice her. jackie's all too recognizable face even after she's cooked. shauna speaks to the empty space where jackie's corpse used to be and begs for her. shauna beats lottie's body bloody. lottie putting her hands behind her back and letting shauna beat her and not moving or leaving in the same spot where jackie and shauna fought so hard it killed jackie by leaving. they ate jackie and now there's nothing left to take from her. so when they eat lottie it can't be all the way, because then what's left to feed them. instead it's drops of lottie's blood in tea. it's lottie's body beaten but still breathing on the floor. she can always feed them as long as she's living. shauna's dream of lottie breastfeeding her baby. shauna straddles lottie and rolls off of her like they just finished fucking when the closest shauna could come to that with jackie was fucking her boyfriend. the fucking that led to the baby that killed jackie and died anyway and is the reason shauna is beating lottie. HI

[42wallaby-way-sydney]

more conversations from domestic au

Vasya: Maddie, you're a better lawyer than me. Maddie: Okay. Vasya: ... Jamie, you're a better lawyer than me. Jamie: I know, sweetie. ~oOo~ Danny: Why can't you be more like Lucy?! She's meditating beautifully! Luke, pointing at Lucy: She's sleeping, Danny. Danny: ... well her form is perfect! ~oOo~ Darla: I'm going to be a bioengineer! Rikki: Psh. You nerd. ~oOo~ Bucky: Alright look here Sasha, yah lil shit! ~oOo~ Vladimir: Oh come on! Can't I just gauge my eyes out instead?! ~oOo~ Sam: It's okay! Dinosaurs are part bird right? And I speak to birds. So I can just go talk to them! Bucky: That sounds like a terrible idea... Sam, moving closer to the T-Rex, sweats: Okay yeah fUck this! Sam out! ~oOo~ Vladimir, kicking a dinosaur away: Don't fucking bite me you fucking heathens! ~oOo~ Sharon: Leila! Get off the damn table! ~oOo~ Matt: Look I'll lie to a lot of people but I won't lie to Jessica. Danny: Is it because she terrifies you too? Matt: It's because she terrifies me. ~oOo~ Sam: Hey Sharon! Your girlfriend is drunk and misses you! Leila, taking the phone from him: Shar bear! I miss you! Sharon: I miss you too sweetie! Leila: You should come home! Sharon: I can't right now sweetie! I'm on a mission! Leila: Oh... kick their asses, Shar bear! ~oOo~ Alex, trying and failing to kick Anatoly away: Bitch we just goin' to the store! Shauna, trying and failing to walk away: For god's sake, Anatoly! You are a grown ass man! ~oOo~ Vasya, amazed: Babe! You can kick my ass! ~oOo~ Jessica: Oh Dani! Danielle: Oh no what did I do?! Danny: Oh no what did I do?! ~oOo~ Natasha: Where are you going, dressed all nice like that? Nika: ... I’m eating Italian tonight? Yelena: ... was that some sort of euphemism? ~oOo~ Elektra: Helloooo, nurse! Claire: If you want to get laid, you're doing it wrong. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Yelena Jr.! Nika: That is not my name?! Vladimir: ... Natalia Jr.?! ~oOo~ Yelena, almost in tears: Natasha! Lisichka! We have adopted a monster! Natasha, holding three year old Nika: She didn't mean to eat your leftovers, lebedka. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Ugh I feel like I am carrying dead weight on my shoulders! Natasha: Well that may be the dead body you're currently holding. But that's just a guess. ~oOo~ Jack: Babe, what's your favorite kind of tea again? Marie: Jasmine. Why? Jack: Damn can a guy not ask his girl what her favorite kind of leaf soup is? ~oOo~ Michael: Oh bella! I bought you more leaf water! Jamie: You know 'tea' is quicker to say than 'leaf water', right? ~oOo~ Vladimir: Hold on. I am still trying to process that my children are alive and not in jail yet. ~oOo~ Jamie: I made you guys dinner! Michael: ... this is just a plate of red and green chili peppers? Jamie: I know what I said. Michael: ... thank you dear. Vasya: ... I'm so scared... ~oOo~ Luke: Ah yes my wife. One of the only people on this planet who can kick my ass. I love you, sweetie. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Your left! Left! No! Your other left! Matt: ... that would be my right, you idiot! ~oOo~ Shauna: So what'd you guys eat? Alexei: Well I ate Korean but Dad ate Indian. Alex, choking on her water: ... Anatoly: ... boy sometimes I just want to choke you... ~oOo~ Jamie: Go to hell. Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell! ~oOo~ Rikki: Sometimes I want drugs. But then I remember there's rehab and I go nah nah honey I'm good. ~oOo~ Michael: I'll write something nice on your tombstone, bella. ~oOo~ Yelena: We text like civilized people or we don't fucking text at all! Natasha: That is rich coming from you. ~oOo~ Jack, about Richard who won't shut up: Oh God. He's going to piss someone off and then I'm going to have to kill him and then everyone in this classroom is going to have to help me hide his body and I am too young to be dealing with this stress! ~oOo~ Alexei: Some dude was in our class smokin' somethin'. ~oOo~ Ian, striking poses: Take a picture of me! Take a picture of me! ~oOo~ Derrick, pointing to Richard: That your boyfriend? Vasya, scowling: No! Derrick, shrugging: You two look cute together. Vasya, gagging: No! ~oOo~ Darla: Rebecca. What is that on my bookshelf? Rikki: ... a cheeseburger wrapper... Darla: And why is it on my bookshelf? Rikki: 'Cause I missed the trash can... ~oOo~ Vladimir, holding a sleeping two year old Vasya: She uh... has your exact hair color. It's weird actually. Matt, slowly grinning goofily: You love me. Vladimir: Oh shut up. ~oOo~ Michael: Good lord sometimes I just want to kill all of you. ~oOo~ Michael: If I am succeeding let it be known it was purely out of spite. I hate my father and my older brother and I want them to be aware that I am better than them at everything. ~oOo~ Jamie: I want a cannoli. Vasya: Ravioli? Michael: Fucking hell... ~oOo~ Matt: I think my three year old just said he wants to fuck the dinner roll.  ~oOo~ Marie: No, I don't know kung fu! I do know how to whoop your ass though! ~oOo~ Peyton, fanning herself: Why is it so hot in here?! Jamie: Oh, sorry, Li. It's because I'm here. ~oOo~ Vasya: Daddy why is there a pretty girl doing your paperwork?! Matt: ... I didn't know she was pretty? Vasya: She's flipping gorgeous! I'm going to die! ~oOo~ Vasya: Ahhhhhh! Peyton: ... wow she has been screaming for five minutes straight. What a set of lungs. Nika: Should we stop her? Jack: Vas. Sestrichka. Stop. Vasya: ... the screaming wasn't internally? Jack: No, sis. It was external and loud. You've never been the best with keeping thoughts on the inside now that I think about it. ~oOo~ Richard, pointing to Jack: This is my friend. Jack, narrowing his eyes: Bitch you don't do this shit to your friends. You don't do friends like this. ~oOo~ Alexei: I just want to hit him once. Just once. Someone let me just fucking beat his ass! ~oOo~ Peyton: Well what do we do now? Jamie: We kill everyone. I'll start. Hand me a knife? Alexei: We are not killing anyone! You psychopath! Sit your butt down. ~oOo~ Fisk: Richard, you embarrass me. ~oOo~ Misty: Colleen! The girls are two! Why are you teaching them to play with katanas?! Colleen, shrugging: Practice for the future? Vladimir: Well I'm terrified. ~oOo~ Darla, yelling at Rikki: Oh yeah?! Well you're adopted! Sasha, pausing as he walks by their room: Well damn. No need to be rude! Rikki and Darla: Oops... ~oOo~ Jack: I don't think that's the proper use for a CPR dummy, Ravdí. ~oOo~ Alexei: No, I can’t even think a bad word or else my mom will descend from the heavens out of literally no where and begin beating my butt. Jamie: Yeah have you ever met our parents? I’d sooner jump in front of a train than think, let alone say, certain words. Peyton: I feel like I gotta clutch some pearls. Do that Catholic crossing thing. Pray for my soul. ~oOo~ Vasya: I got a scholarship. Matt: To Juliard? That's great, honey! Vasya: Uh no? Harvard. Matt, choking on his coffee: What?! ~oOo~ Nika: Hahaha! Suckers! ~oOo~ Sam: Oh her phone better be on or so help me god! Darla: She left it in her nightstand. Sam: Oh my god! Of course she did! ~oOo~ Lucille: Only child children unite! ~oOo~ Jack: Oh god! He's a thespian! He just gets worse! ~oOo~ Peyton: We can’t fight right now. Jamie: Ugh, you’re right. Not in front of the baby. Alexei: I love you two. ~oOo~ Darala: Rikki can you throw this away? Rikki: Psh, nigga nah. ~oOo~ Maddie: I... I think I'm dating Ian now? Like it started as rehearsal but then that kiss got intense. ~oOo~ Bucky: My child didn't run away to Europe! My child got a scholarship into science! Darla, studying and finally looking up: Huh? ~oOo~ Matt: Honey being a lawyer is hard. Vasya: What? No it's not. I've seen you work. ~oOo~ Jamie, forcing laughter: I will be on you like white on rice if you keep talkin' smack. So keep talkin'.