#Sharing scares and wounds and hurts and Healing

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

Fic: Something to Sink Your Teeth Into 23/?

Pairing: Buck/Tommy

Vampire/Witch!AU

Read on Ao3 (current chapter)

Read on Ao3 (from beginning)

Evan thought he should be more afraid, having a vampire’s fangs this close to a vulnerable point.

He thought he should be panicking, in fear for his life, wondering what the fuck he was thinking, offering to let Tommy drink from him.

And yet, all he felt as his vampire took his hand and brought it to his mouth, inhaling deeply as though he were savoring the bouquet of a fine glass of wine…was calm. His magic was a warm and content glow throughout his whole body, radiating the rightness of what he was about to do. He was helping his vampire, sharing the power of his blood to help him heal, to keep them both safe. He was not looking forward to the pain of the bite, exactly, but he didn’t fear it. And he didn’t need Tommy to—to hypnotize him into accepting it, or whatever it was that a vampire’s thrall did. He didn’t want to be lost in a haze of false perception while Tommy drank from him.

The bite hurt when Tommy’s fangs sunk into the flesh of his wrist. He could tell his vampire was trying to be as gentle as possible…but it was still the teeth of a predator tearing into him. It wasn’t much worse than the burn of a tattoo needle, though, and he breathed through it until he felt Tommy’s lips close around the bite, not quite cold, but not the wet heat he was used to when people put their mouths on his body. Then he felt the bizarre sensation of suction, felt a pulling draw from the wound, though Tommy didn’t withdraw his fangs.

He hadn’t pulled off to slow the flow of blood, Evan realized. To make it harder to take too much, even accidentally. His magic trembled in his chest, a surge of warmth racing through him at the simple care. His eyes fluttered shut as Tommy swallowed, mouthful after mouthful of his blood, his magic swirling inside him, the warm glow of it intensifying, growing brighter and brighter until he felt like it was spilling out of him, wrapping around both him and his vampire, rushing over the two of them like a wave as Tommy drew part of Evan into him. The pain of the bite faded, swamped under a growing sense of connection.

He swore he could feel the connection the way Tommy was—heat and life rushing through him, his heart swelling with gratitude for the gift he was being given, a desperate desire for the closeness, the intimacy of the connection to never end.

He was shocked to realize he didn’t want it to, either.

He reached with his magic, throwing himself headlong into the bond between them, letting out a gasp when he felt it surge, strengthen, grow. He could feel his vampire, could feel Tommy, could feel the two of them together…the way it was supposed to be. The way it was meant to be.

And then an electric charge raced through him, his magic flaring the way it had the first time Tommy had drunk from him, the way he couldn’t remember it had until this very moment.

He was lying on a sagging bed in a cheap motel room, his vampire looming over him, and he had never felt so safe, so protected.

He was cradling his witch’s hand in his palms, his fangs deep in the wound his witch had trusted him to make, the sweetest blood he had ever tasted spilling into his mouth, and he could not remember if he had ever loved anyone so fiercely.

He was sitting in the cold snow, his baby brother in his lap, growing limp and quiet as the spell their parents had set on them tore his magic away from his small body, and he had never felt more scared or determined.

He was standing in the moonlit, snowy field watching the shadows of the night that had changed his family forever—the night that had haunted every aspect of his life for as long as he could remember—play out in front of him as they had a hundred, a thousand, a million times before, and he had never felt more exposed.

Tommy would know. He would know the secret that Evan’s family had kept for over twenty years, the single, horrible act that had hung over Evan his entire life and colored every interaction he had with his parents, his sister, and his coven. Tommy would know it all. His vampire would know why his magic was the way it was, why Evan’s own family treated him like a dangerous animal that couldn’t be trusted, why his coven had turned on him so easily when he’d stood accused of Doug’s murder.

Why there were only three beings on the planet who had ever seen something worth loving in him.

Tommy would know.

His magic spiraled around them, fragmenting his perceptions into what felt like a hundred different viewpoints, watching the memory from a hundred different perspectives. His vampire’s hand tightened on his, the pull of his blood into Tommy’s mouth blending with the remembered pull of the spell that had been meant to steal his magic until he was caught in a dizzying loop of sensation. Tommy would know.

He blinked heavy eyes and watched a bit of color start to creep back into his little brother’s chubby cheeks, the relief sweeping through him almost great enough to cover up the pain of the spell latching into his magic.

He watched the boy he’d never known and had loved all his life bend over the baby that he’d been and kiss his cheek, whispering love and reassurance with his last breath.

He watched a child he hadn’t known existed until this very second sacrifice himself for the infant that would grow into the man he was coming to realize he’d do anything to keep.

Evan gasped, his eyes flying open at the same time Tommy’s did. He gaped up at his vampire, his chest heaving as he watched the haggard pallor and lines of pain vanish from Tommy’s rugged features. The shirt he’d been wearing was bloodstained and torn, but before Evan’s eyes, the gaping wound in his chest started knitting together at an incredibly fast rate.

He winced as Tommy withdrew his fangs, moving as though he was about to brush his lips over the twin puncture wounds that now decorated his wrist. Blood pulsed sluggishly from the punctures and he tried to pull his hand back, only for Tommy to tighten his grip. Not enough to hurt. Not enough to even prevent him from pulling away, really. But his vampire didn’t want to let him go, and God help him, he didn’t want to, either. The reassuring feel of Tommy’s calloused fingertips pressing against his skin felt grounding. Soothing.

“Evan,” Tommy said, his voice low and quiet…and faintly horrified. Evan swallowed roughly, devastation welling up inside him.

Tommy knew.

“What was that?” his vampire asked.

*

He didn’t speak immediately. He couldn’t. He’d never had to explain what had happened…everyone in his life either already knew and had been forbidden from speaking of it or absolutely could never know. Tommy seemed to understand, busying himself with gathering up the blankets and sheets he had bled on and tossing them in the corner of the room. He grabbed a threadbare, but surprisingly clean, towel from the bathroom and tore a neat strip off of it and took Evan’s wrist back in his hands, efficiently wrapping the makeshift bandage around the still slowly bleeding wounds.

He did not appear to be even a little tempted by the sight of the fresh blood, and Evan wondered how fucked up it made him that he was actually touched.

“We’ll hit up a drugstore or something as soon as the sun sets…get an actual first aid kit.” He plucked at the bloodstained shirt he was still wearing with a grimace of distaste. “And something I can wear until we get back to the house.”

Evan blinked slowly, irritated with himself that it hadn’t occurred to him to take care of the shirt yet. At least as much as he could—try as he might, he’d never quite mastered the kind of charms it took to repair things. He chanted the cleaning spell, though, watching as the horrific bloodstains that told the story of how badly his vampire had been injured dissolved away, seeming to bleed back into the fabric in reverse, any remaining traces of it vanishing from his skin.

“Can’t do anything about the hole,” he mumbled, his voice sounding slow and exhausted even to his own ears.

Tommy had been running his hand over the clean—though still badly torn—shirt but looked up sharply when he spoke. “How do you feel?” he demanded urgently.

Evan couldn’t help but smile, despite the anxiety swirling in his gut. “Just tired,” he said. It was true. His limbs felt heavy, and he wanted badly to just stretch out on the bed and go to sleep for a little while. He didn’t feel weak or dizzy, though, and told Tommy as much when his vampire pressed him.

“Why don’t you lie down?” Tommy suggested, as though reading his mind. His stormy blue eyes raked over Evan’s body, a small furrow of concern etching itself on his brow. “We’ve still got an hour or two before sunset.” He sat down at the small table, his leg bouncing slightly as he watched Evan.

Evan could almost hear the questions racing through his vampire’s mind.

Tommy was clearly willing to put his curiosity on hold for Evan’s comfort, and for some reason that simple fact almost had tears rising in Evan’s eyes. He bit them back stubbornly, breathing through his nose until the sting subsided. He had not felt this cared for since the night he’d left Maddie standing in a parking lot near the border between Pennsylvania and Ohio.

The last five years had not been completely devoid of kindness for him. He’d had casual friends and acquaintances. There had even been a few lovers, though nothing that had ever progressed beyond infrequent hookups. He’d thought Jonah Greenway had cared about him, at least a little—though of course that had all been a spectacular lie. No one had looked at him like this since Maddie and Sally, though. Like he was something precious. Like he was something that deserved to be treated gently. Like he was worth caring about.

Like he was worth…loving?

He remembered the strange feelings that had swamped him when his magic latched onto Tommy as he was drinking from him. The way that for just a few heartbeats, he felt like he was seeing through Tommy’s eyes, feeling what Tommy felt. He wondered how much of the emotion that had washed through him was what his vampire was actually feeling…and how much of it was his own desperate desire.

“Could you…” He stopped, a lump rising in his throat and his cheeks heating.

“What do you need, Evan?” Tommy asked gently.

You, Evan thought and couldn’t bring himself to say. He shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “Would you, uh, sit with me for a minute?”

Damn it, he was not some touch-starved child in need of reassurance. He hadn’t needed someone to hold his hand until he fell asleep since he was six years old and had nightmares for a month after Maddie snuck a copy of The Wizard of Oz into the house so they could see at least one of the movies that their parents didn’t want them watching. But…he desperately wanted Tommy close. His magic ached for it, the phantom feel of his vampire’s calloused fingers stroking the skin of his wrist driving him crazy. He just needed Tommy beside him right now.

His vampire tilted his head, a strange look flickering over his face. Evan was afraid to let himself believe it looked like longing. “Of course,” Tommy said, as though there was nothing he’d rather do than indulge even the smallest of Evan’s whims. Evan couldn’t help the sigh of relief as Tommy stood up and slid onto the bed next to him, maneuvering himself so that he was sitting up against the headboard the same way Evan was.

It was only a double—nowhere near big enough for two men of their height and bulk to lay comfortably separate. The mattress sagged even further under their combined weight, and their bodies slid naturally closer to each other. Out of the corner of his eye, Evan saw Tommy lick his lips, and then his vampire hesitantly raised one arm, reaching slowly towards Evan, giving him time to shake his head or shy away from him. Instead, Evan sighed in quiet relief as Tommy’s heavy arm draped over his shoulders, pulling him even closer. Some tension he hadn’t even been aware of seeped out of his body, his magic settling in a way it hadn’t in years. For a single, mad moment, all he wanted to do was turn and bury his face in the juncture of his vampire’s neck, let Tommy hold him until the rest of the world faded away.

“I don’t know what that was, or how you saw it,” he said, unaware that he was going to start talking until the words were already out. “I’ve never, uh, I mean…I’ve had that dream, or memory or whatever before but no one’s ever, uh, no one’s ever shared it with me. Is it—was it you? Does that happen when you drink from people?”

He could sense Tommy turning to look at him, could feel the weight of his vampire’s gaze on the side of his head, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from a patch of mildew on the cheap wallpaper above the old TV mounted on the wall. “Something like that can happen,” Tommy said carefully. “When we’re thralling someone. But it’s usually just flashes. Pieces. Never that clear or that solid. It…I saw something when I drank from you at Gerrard’s party. Not the—not that. I think I saw the day you were banished.”

A dull pulse of surprise shot through Evan at the admission. Then that meant…

“You already knew who I was before Grant and her coven came to your house?” he asked, stunned. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

He felt Tommy stiffen beside him, felt his arm start to lift, ready to let Evan get up and away from him if he wanted to…but Evan found he didn’t want to. He was curious, not angry. After a moment, Tommy seemed to realize that as well, and he slowly relaxed.

“I mean…I think it’s obvious why I didn’t say anything at first,” he said, a wisp of wry humor creeping into his words. “You did try to fry my ass at least a couple times when we first met.” Despite himself, Evan let out a snort of laughter, and he felt his vampire relax further. “After that—it was your secret. Your business. I didn’t want you to tell me unless you wanted to.” He sighed softly. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he said significantly. He sounded like he meant it.

Evan knew he meant it.

“Daniel was my brother,” he said quietly, the familiar ache he felt whenever he thought of his older brother pulsing beneath his ribs. “He got sick when he was seven or eight, I think. Leukemia. And there are, I mean, there are healing spells and rituals, but bodies are…complicated. Witches aren’t gods, you know?”

“The spells didn’t work?” Tommy asked. Evan shook his head, biting down hard on his lip.

“My, my parents took him to doctors too, of course. But nothing worked. Not medicine, not magic. He just kept getting sicker and sicker. Eventually, there was nothing the doctors or the coven could do.”

“So, what I saw when you let me drink from you. That was a…”

“Memory,” Evan whispered. He finally turned to look at his vampire, in time to see him reel back a little in confusion.

“You were a baby,” he said. “How could you—”

“It wasn’t my memory.” He started twisting the hem of his borrowed sweatshirt in his hands, barely resisting the urge to reach over and grab Tommy’s free hand instead. “There’s a ritual. It’s left over from ancient times…back when it was a lot more dangerous to be a witch. When…when losing a powerful coven member, if, if they were sick, or hurt, or whatever—it could mean life or death for the whole coven. It lets you transfer someone’s magic to another member of their coven. To, to make them stronger, and give healing magic a better chance of working.”

Tommy’s face went carefully blank, but the faintest sheen of red shimmered in his eyes. “I’ve never heard of anything like that,” he said. “In almost a thousand years, I’ve never heard of witches being able to do something like that.”

Evan looked away again, taking a shaky breath. “It’s a forbidden ritual. The magic can only come from someone who hasn’t started formal training. It can’t be…settled, I guess? So, the witch has to be young. Too young to have a familiar, at least, but, uh, the younger the better. Apparently the spell works best with, with a baby.”

Tommy’s arm tightened around him, and when he glanced over, the red in his eyes had grown brighter. “What happens to them?” he asked, his voice deadly quiet. He sounded like he already knew the answer, but wanted Evan to confirm it.

He shrugged. “Officially? They just lose their magic, and never get to be full members of the coven.”

“What about unofficially?”

Evan’s lips twisted into a bitter, humorless smile. “Unofficially, the Venn diagram between covens who had someone ‘miraculously’ recover from something and covens who had a family lose a baby to SIDS or something would be a circle.”

Tommy let out a sharp hiss, his eyes flashing fully red for a moment before he forced it away. His grip on Evan stayed tight, though, even pulling him closer to Tommy’s side. “And your parents performed that ritual,” he growled.

Evan nodded, a barely perceptible jerk of his head. “You saw,” he said. “They were trying to save Daniel.”

“Don’t talk like—” Tommy started, but then broke off, shaking his head. “How did you…your brother did something to the spell, right?”

“He refused it,” Evan said quietly. “Refused to take my magic, so the spell turned on him instead. I was…I was only a few months old, I couldn’t…there was nothing I could do.”

“Evan,” Tommy said. Something faintly horrified in his voice. “You were children.”

Evan shrugged, one shoulder. Logically he knew it was ludicrous to think he could’ve done something when he’d barely started to sit up on his own. Logically, he knew that nothing that had happened was his fault. Both Maddie and Sally had tried over and over to get him to believe that with both his heart and his head. Some days he could do it better than others…but he didn’t think he’d ever quite gotten there entirely. After all…

“He died for me. When he refused the spell and let it reverse—he knew it would kill him.”

Tommy didn’t speak for several long moments, and only the fact that he hadn’t let go of Evan, was still holding him as close to his side as possible, kept Evan from spiraling into the fear that Tommy would see it the way his parents had—that his vampire would look at him and see only a parasite, vicious, murdering leech. “It—that felt like I was watching it from the outside,” Tommy said finally, his voice coming slow and deliberate, as though he was thinking through his words carefully. “But it was also like I was living it.”

Evan shrugged again, frowning. “That’s how it always feels. Almost like it’s some kind of divination magic? I don’t know—I’ve never been very good at divination. Or maybe it’s a side effect of me taking his, his magic. But it’s his memory. It’s…it’s the only memory of him I have.”

The only way his older brother had been real to him and not just a figure in faded pictures that his parents hid in the attic. The memory of the night he died and the magic that he’d given up to save Evan were the only parts of his older brother he had left. His parents and coven had done their very best to erase every memory of Daniel’s existence…but they could never pluck out the visions from Evan’s head. It was both a blessing and curse. The memory was the absolute worst moment of his brother’s life—Daniel had been hurting and terrified. Terrified for Evan, terrified for himself, terrified because his parents had betrayed him in the worst way possible. But it was also indelible, tangible proof that his brother had loved him.

“That’s why your magic is so strange. Why the banishment didn’t affect you the way Howie and Grant thought it should,” Tommy said, again not sounding like he really needed Evan to confirm anything. Evan nodded anyway.

“Not to, uh, brag or anything, but our coven is really strong. Buckley witches are always powerful, anyway, and I—”

“You have twice as much magic as any other Buckley witch,” Tommy finished for him.

“Even if I’d been guilty, it would have taken years for my magic to fade. Being innocent? And having so much power to start with? It’s only just started to fade in the last couple of years. Not having a coven bond is what actually holds me back.”

“God, Evan,” Tommy said, staring out over the room with an angry, bewildered frown. “And the rest of your coven just…went along with this?”

“Most of them don’t know. They think my parents took all three of us on a family trip when the doctors started talking about hospice for Daniel. You know, so they could ‘make memories’ and be together. They think Daniel died while we were all on the trip. My parents kept their familiars from talking about it. Our coven leaders swept it under the rug. Gotta protect the reputation, you know?” He laughed softly, and there was no more warmth to it than his smile.

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like to grow up in a coven like that,” Tommy said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Evan went quiet, daring to lean a little harder against his vampire, and closing his eyes when Tommy just pulled him impossibly closer, tucking Evan against his side like he never wanted to let him go. Evan was startled by how intensely he wanted that to be true. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had wanted to just sit and hold him like this, and he was seized with the need to soak the comfort of his vampire’s touch up for as long as Tommy would let him.

“I hated it,” he whispered, the words spilling from his lips before he could think better of it. “I felt like a ghost in my house. If it hadn’t been for Maddie and Sally—” He broke off, shaking his head. “I used to wish Daniel had just let the spell take me, sometimes.”

Not often.

And never for very long.

He’d had Maddie and Sally. His sister and his familiar had loved him with all their hearts, and between the two of them he’d never truly been alone until the day he was banished. Sometimes, though…when his parents seemed to look right through him instead of at him; when coven members treated him like he was something to be avoided, something that might taint them if they got too close (whether it was because they knew the actual story or simply because they saw others treating him that way)…sometimes he’d wondered if his brother’s sacrifice had been worth it.

He heard Tommy inhale sharply, and then his vampire’s arm shifted around him. Tommy turned his body slightly onto his side, drawing Evan into the same position as easily as if Evan weighed nothing. “Don’t say that,” he said fervently, reaching up with his free hand to cup Evan’s face. The touch of his rough palm against Evan’s cheek was almost electric; Evan swore he could feel sparks where the vampire’s cool skin brushed against his. “Please don’t say that.”

“Tommy,” he started, but was unsure of what he was going to say.

“I’m sorry for what they did to you. To both of you. But it wasn’t your fault…and I’m so glad you’re still here. Fuck, Evan—you have no idea how glad I am you’re still here.”

Evan’s heart skipped in his chest, his magic sparking through him like fire in his blood. He leaned forward, helpless to resist the pull he felt towards this man, resting his forehead against Tommy’s with a shaky sigh. He reached up and covered the hand resting on his cheek with his just breathing as his magic rushed through him, pulling him, guiding him, calling him ever, ever closer to his vampire.

He didn’t mean to kiss him.

It wasn’t a conscious decision on his part. Not something he thought out or considered or weighed and measured before he did it.

He just did it.

He pressed his lips to Tommy’s, and had only a fraction of a heartbeat to fear, to think he might have made the worst mistake of his life, before Tommy groaned low in his throat, shifted his touch on Evan’s cheek to grip his jaw, and kissed him back. Softly, at first, almost reverently, until Evan ran the tip of his tongue over the seam of his lips and then he surged against Evan like a starving man offered a seat at a feast. Evan tilted his head to a better angle, fisted his hand in the torn remains of Tommy’s shirt, and licked into his vampire’s mouth with just as much fervor.

He felt Tommy’s arm slip down around his waist and was ready when Tommy slid down backward onto the mattress, stretching out and drawing Evan on top of him. Evan pulled back for a heartbeat to take a breath, and then kissed him again. Again, and again, and again, and it had never felt like this with any of the girls and boys he’d kissed growing up. Never felt like this with and of the random hookups or one night stands he’d had over the years. Kissing Tommy felt like finding a part of himself he’d been missing his whole life. Kissing Tommy felt like coming home.

They only pulled apart when Evan’s lungs started screaming at him, and he sat back, straddling Tommy’s hips as he stared down at his vampire, want and desire and need rushing through him like a forest fire. Tommy’s eyes were sheened with red, and he ran his hands roughly up the sides of Evan’s thighs.

“Are you sure?” Tommy asked, sounding almost as breathless as Evan felt, which had to be some kind of feat for a vampire. Or maybe just proof that he was affecting Tommy as much as Tommy was affecting him.

He grinned down at his vampire, sliding his hands up under his torn shirt and spreading his palms against the hard muscle of Tommy’s stomach. “Are you?” he countered, and Tommy’s answering laugh sounded like pure delight.

“God, Evan,” his vampire groaned, his hands sliding up to curl possessively over Evan’s hips.

Evan shoved Tommy’s shirt up further, his fingers catching on the rough skin of a raised scar, high on the side of Tommy’s chest. He bent low, needing to taste, wanting to kiss and suck and bite until Tommy was just as dizzy with want as he was. He feasted his eyes on Tommy’s firm, broad chest, his eyes skating over the scar he’d felt as he…

Evan froze.

It was a cluster of faded red marks, the shape vaguely circular…almost like some kind of flower painted onto Tommy’s chest. He stared at it, all of his desire, his arousal, his desperate, breathless need draining away until he was absolutely ice cold.

“Evan?” Tommy asked, sensing the change in Evan’s mood and motions immediately.

“No,” Evan breathed out, a tremor running through his hands where they rested over the ridges of the scar. “No, nonono…oh God. Oh my God!” He scrambled backwards, almost throwing himself off of Tommy, scrabbling to the end of the bed as Tommy sat bolt upright, frantically calling his name.

“Sorry,” Evan gasped, almost hyperventilating, his eyes riveted on the scar, unable to look away. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry!”

[sunlitmcgee]

say No to the supposed toxic yaoi of shipping a rapist abusive creep with a man who enabled him and was then tortured by him for several months.

Embrace, or at least consider, instead, the nuanced tenderness of a woman and a man, both hurt by the same monster, in a kinder ending, being able to heal their bodies from where he touched them. Regaining parts of themselves. Connecting and apologizing and healing alongside one another, growing into happy people who will live far beyond the events on that awful ship.

And have her peg him

[cyberclouddream]

Where You Feel Protective & Nostalgic

Cancer/Moon in the First House

your nurturing persona is often a shield to protect your sensitive self from getting hurt

tend to cling to a specific image of yourself, idealizing your past to avoid confronting who you are now

quick to build walls around your heart because you fear vulnerability

take criticism personally, reacting to any perceived threat defensively

Cancer/Moon in the Second House

place unrealistic value on family or sentimental items, which can lead to hoarding

hold onto old values and traditions that provide comfort

panic at the thought of losing what you have, whether it's possessions or relationships

you resist reassessing your values or beliefs about worth

you can fear taking risks with your money

Cancer/Moon in the Third House

often bring up memories that make you or others emotional

guard your ideas fiercely, reacting defensively when others challenge your opinions or beliefs

romanticize past conversations, often wishing to relive them

get too wrapped up in other people's drama, using it as shield against dealing with your own issues

Cancer/Moon in the Fourth House

prioritize family above all, which can make you blind to toxic dynamics that need to change

smother loved ones because of your desire to shield them, which can lead to resentment instead of gratitude

carry the weight of family issues, letting them define your present relationships and home life

protective instincts can turn your home (house, town, country) into a prison where you're afraid to leave

Cancer/Moon in the Fifth House

fiercely guard your hobbies and passions, fearing others may not appreciate them as much as you do

clingy in relationships when you get attached quickly, which can come from idealizing love or relationships

fear rejection which can hold you back from genuine connections

hold onto hobbies or interests that evoke fond memories, even if they no longer bring you joy

overprotective over children, suffocating their independence in your quest to keep them safe

Cancer/Moon in the Sixth House

take on the emotional baggage of your coworkers

cling to outdated health habits because they feel familiar and safe

romanticize or long for past work experiences

fear any change in your work life, no matter how stale it gets

Cancer/Moon in the Seventh House

smother partners with loyalty in a way that comes off as needy and desperate

lose yourself in the issues of your partner

obsess over the fear of abandonment

get stuck thinking about exes

outdated idea of what commitment means

Cancer/Moon in the Eighth House

get paranoid about betrayal that you won't share anything real with anyone, isolating yourself

cling to old wounds, letting them dictate your emotional landscape instead of healing

scared of new intimate connections

obsess over past loves

Cancer/Moon in the Ninth House

defensive over beliefs, shutting out criticism or new ideas that challenge you

daydream or romanticize about past adventures, in a way that can make current experiences feel disappointing in comparison

resist exploring different cultures

idealize schooling or past lessons, letting them cloud your judgment about current learning opportunities

Cancer/Moon in the Tenth House

overly concerned with others see you (reputation), letting it dictate your actions and decisions

dwell on former career successes

let family legacies dictate career choices

idolize past mentors or authority figures

Cancer/Moon in the Eleventh House

treat your friendships like possessions, suffocating them with your need for closeness

hard to let go of past friendships, yearning for times that are long gone

romanticize past group experiences

defensive when anyone challenges your views on causes you're passionate about

Cancer/Moon in the Twelfth House

hide your feelings or true self from the world

wallow in your emotional scars, protecting them like trophies

idealize solitude, thinking it's safer than connecting with others

retreat into daydreams and fantasies to avoid dealing with real issues

[help-itrappedmyself]

Danny Punches a Clown Part 6

Masterpost

Danny, after many promises and assurances, lets Red Robin take him to the batcave. They travel by car, and as fancy as it was, Danny was almost scared to touch anything inside it. Red was a much better driver than his father though, so he just closed his eyes and focused on trying to keep his healing up.

The Batcave turned out to be an actual cave, underground, with actual bats in it. He was whisked to a medical area too quickly to see much of anything else besides some other vehicles and a giant computer set up. 

Someone was waiting in the medical space with a tray of tools and bandages ready next to the bed, Red introduced him as Agent A. They were quick to lie him down on a cot and set him up to a heart monitor and that had Red and the A frowning immediately.

“It’s a medical condition.” Danny blurted, and both pairs of eyes shot to him. “My heartrate is naturally very slow, temperature runs cold, pale skin, slow circulation so I can't have a lot of different medications." Not that any medications would really work, but better safe than sorry. Them not working would be suspicious, and Danny does not have the energy or focus for trying to keep straight any real explanations right now.  "It’s fine, I promise.”

Agent A nodded slowly. “Is there anything else we should know before we start treatment?”

“Just can't give me any medicines, I think that's the only relevant bit.”

“Alright, I will keep that in mind. Please lift your shirt so I can see the wound.”

Danny does, and they manage their expressions quite well on seeing it. Agent A goes immediately for creams and bandages.

“What burned you like that?” Red asked.

“Gun.” Danny was starting to slur. He did not want to sleep right now, with these people here.

“A gun? What kind of gun causes burns?”

“New blaster, parents made it special.”

“Your parents make guns?”

Danny shrugs, turning his head to look at Red instead of the far off ceiling of the cave. “My parents make lots of things. They're scientists, inventors." Danny waves his arm around vaguely. "The gun was new though, hadn’t been shot with that one before. The earlier versions were much less powerful.”

“Are you saying that your parents are the ones that shot you?” Red asked gently, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. “It wasn’t just their gun that was used?”

Danny frowns. “Well yeah.”

Tim is very concerned at the tone he just used, like getting shot at by your parents was normal. “Do they shoot at you a lot?”

“Fair amount I suppose.” Red could see Danny thinking really hard about something. Dany’s head was really starting to hurt. His brain was fuzzy and he knew he should be concerned about something, but couldn’t figure out what. His parents shooting at him was nothing new, considering. “Like, they did it more than Vlad but I don’t see him as often, and they’ve done it longer than the GIW, but since the GIW has started they’ve been about equal I guess. I mean, sometimes all the defense systems in the house target me but that wasn’t technically intentional. Took forever for us to figure out how to get them to stop that.”

“Danny, when was the last time you slept?” Red asked gently.

Danny wasn’t sure if his blip earlier this morning counted. He didn’t think it lasted more than an hour, but the last time he slept before that was before his fight in Amity, escaping through the ghost zone and running around in this dimension.

“It’s been awhile.” Danny landed on. True enough for medical history he supposed.

“Right.” A finished the last of the bandages and tugged Danny’s shirt back down. “Well, why don’t you do that now, while we go and find you something to eat.”

“I’m too tired to fight food right now.”

Tim shared a look with Alfred before turning back to Danny. “Okay then. Maybe sleep first and then eat?”

“I will go start making something now that you’re all set up here Mister Danny.” Agent A states, walking past the medical curtains and shutting them behind him. Red pulled out a tablet and started tapping on it. He noticed Danny’s eyes on him after a moment.

“You going to sleep?”

“Strange place, strange people. Not sure that’s the best decision here.”

Red looked up from his tablet.

“You trusted me enough to come here. Trust me enough to sleep. I will make sure no one but me or A comes in before you’re ready.”

[azrielstaylorsversion]

Arrows and lies

Azriel x reader | angst, fluff

Warnings: mentions of wounds, sickness and vomiting

Y/N tries to hide her injuries from her mate, only to find out how stupid her decision will be.

Shit shit shit, you thought to yourself. Pain shot through your lower body as an arrow pierced through your thigh.

You were quick enough to winnow back to the Night Court, but not quick enough to avoid the arrow.

This couldn't be happening.

This was the fifth time in a row you would come home injured from a mission. You were scared that if it happened again Rhys wouldn't let you go on missions alone again. Or worse, not letting you go on any missions at all.

And the thing you were most scared off was your mate's reaction. His last five reactions hadn't been that great. The injuries hadn't been that bad.

You had winnowed back to the outskirts of Velaris. To your and Azriel's shared home where you knew he wouldn't be right now. The two of you had been staying at the River House more often, since Rhys required both your assistance more often lately.

You didn't need to worry about the bond, since you and Azriel had an agreement to block each other out during most missions. You would let each other know you were alive every three hours and that was it.

The door to your house opened with ease. You stumbled inside, biting back the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

The arrow needed to be removed as quickly as possible.

You stumbled over to the bathroom. Once inside you grabbed some stuff to help you clean the wound.

You needed to calm your breathing before pulling out the arrow. It hadn't gone through entirely, but that sure as hell didn't lessen the pain.

The arrow clattered to the ground as you screamed out. You immediately applied pressure to the leaking wound.

At least the arrow got out in one piece.

You bit on your own tongue to keep yourself from crying out again. Your eyes fell on the nasty wound. Something looked different. There was some green looking stuff around the wound.

You decided to just ignore it and to clean the wound as soon as possible. Maybe you had just imagined it or maybe if you washed it away quickly... Otherwise you would have to tell Az and Rhys you had once again been hurt on a mission. Shot with a poisoned arrow.

No. You were way too stubborn for that. The wound would heal on itself within the next few hours due to your Fae healing.

You ignored your own thoughts and got to cleaning the wound.

It was around two hours later when you had fully cleaned the wound and could walk sort of normal again. It was already late at this point, which was a good thing since you wouldn't have to face Rhys right away. But you were actually supposed to be back in the morning. It was best if you just told Rhys and Az that you had been ambushed and ran. You hoped they didn't notice your injury.

The front door of the River House opened with ease. The whole house was dark and quiet.

You immediately walked up the stairs to your shared room with Azriel. You needed clean clothes and a shower, since you hadn't been able to do both earlier.

Your bedroom door opened quietly. The dark outline of your mate laying in bed was the first thing that caught your attention. He was soundly asleep.

His shadows immediately moved to your side.

"Don't wake him." you whispered to them. They almost seemed to agree with you, retreating back to the shadowy corners of the room.

You walked into your bathroom, quickly filling the bath and grabbing clean clothes. It wasn't easy to pull you pants off again. The wound the arrow had left burned like hell.

When you managed to slip your pants past your thighs the wound was revealed. It looked way worse than before. The entire outline was red and fresh blood stained the sides.

The feeling of hot water against it wasn't very nice. Tears threatened to fall from your eyes again. You swallowed them back, reminding yourself the pain would lessen by tomorrow.

After making quick work of cleaning yourself, you changed into one of Az's sweaters and sleeping shorts, which covered the ugly wound.

It would be gone by the morning, you reminded yourself again.

Making sure your bloodied clothes were out of sight and everything was clean, you made your way to the bed.

Azriel was still asleep, his breathing soft. You moved the covers, snuggling under them with a wince at moving your leg. You put your arms around Azriel's body, pulling him close.

He shifted slightly. "When did you get back?" he asked, his voice sleepy.

You moved your head so you could smile at him. "A few minutes ago." you whispered before pressing your face against his chest. The burning feeling in your leg got worse, but you pushed it away, ignoring it.

"Did everything go well?"

You tensed, but tried to brush it off. "Yes. But I had to leave earlier. Otherwise I would've been caught." you said a bit hesitant.

Azriel didn't say anything at first. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

You moved your head from his chest, looking up at him. You hated yourself for lying to your mate, but there would be no trace of the wound by the morning. It would start healing soon.

"I'm completely fine." you whispered reassuringly.

He cupped your cheek, looking into your eyes, almost if searching your face for any signs of pain. When he only found a soft smile on your lips he relaxed. "I believe you. I'm just glad you're back so early." he said, kissing you.

After breaking the kiss he pulled you closer against him. Your thigh grazed against the matras. The pain was becoming more unbearable with every second.

Azriel didn't seem to notice your flicker of pain as he planted a kiss on top of your head, resting his chin on your head after.

You must've fallen asleep at some point, because when you woke up again it was long past midnight. It didn't take long before realizing what woke you up.

Sweat was dripping down your entire body. You felt too hot. No too cold. No, both.

Your head was pounding like crazy. Nausea filled your body. You quickly moved over the side of the bed, emptying your stomach on the ground next to the bed.

"Hey, are you okay?" Azriel had immediately woken up, putting his hands on your arms and inspecting your body.

You wanted to move away from him, but noticed you weren't able to move your injured leg.

You pulled up your shorts, revealing the wound which was supposed to be healed after all these hours. Instead, the wound was flaming red, your veins around the wound having turned black.

"Shit." you cursed yourself for being so stupid.

Azriel noticed the wound. His eyes widened. "What the hell happened?" he asked, concern lining his voice.

You tried to swallow down another wave of nausea. Sweat was starting to drip down your body faster, dark spots clouding your vision. "Arrow..." you managed to creak out. Trying to talk felt so exhausting.

"Shit. Why didn't you say anything? Did you pull it out yourself?" he questioned, but you didn't answer. Your mind couldn't really fully process his words.

The door to your room barged open, revealing a confused Rhys alongside Azriel's shadows. "What's going on?" he asked, his eyes falling on your fragile body.

"I think she got hit by a poisonous arrow. It has to be." his eyes locked with yours again. "Right? That's what happened right? Please tell me what happened."

You could only stare at him as dark spots slowly started blurring out his face. You couldn't respond to him. You didn't know how to.

"Can you hear me? Please say something. Anything at all." he asked with way too much concern in his voice. He put his hands on either side of your face.

You blinked at him. Your body started to feel like jelly. Like you couldn't move at all. Or think. Or hear.

Azriel's lips moved. At least you say them move when the black spots weren't covering his lips.

His lips. Your mates lips. The lips that had kissed you so many times. Your eyes were glued on them.

He was still talking. At least you think he was talking. The only sound you could hear was ringing.

People ran into the room as the world turned darker and darker until you couldn't see anything at all.

"Az?"

The world was spinning. Light slowly broke through your closed eyes, head still pounding like crazy, but you weren't burning anymore.

Someone was holding your hand. The warmth of a body pressed against yours.

You opened your eyes, wincing at the light that came into the room, which immediately disappeared.

Shadows covered the windows, flickering ever so slightly.

The warm body moved. "How are you feeling?" Azriel's voice sounded unsure.

You looked around the room for a few seconds. Then your eyes fell on your mate. It took a moment to remember what had happened earlier.

"I am so, so sorry Azriel." you blurted out.

He placed his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look at him. "I'm just glad you're okay."

"You're not even mad?" you questioned quietly. "I can explain everything, I-" he cut you off by kissing you.

"Again, I'm just glad you're okay. And yes, I was very angry. I still am." he told you. "But now is not the time to be mad at you."

You looked away, feeling embarrassed by your own stupidity.

"Rhys had to look into your mind. The poison was slowly reaching your head. He saw what happened and how you hid it from us." Azriel told you softly. "I think he is the most mad out of the two of us. But he too is happy that you're alive."

You nodded, not sure what to say. You had fucked up really bad.

"Can you please look at me? There is absolutely no need to feel embarrassed." he said. You slowly turned your eyes to his beautiful face "I'm sorry you felt like you needed to hide your injuries from me."

You just responded with a nod.

Azriel pulled you closer, wrapping a wing protectively around your body. "You're on bedrest for the rest of the day until the poison is fully out of your system. Madja told me that you might suffer from some hallucinations today, but that it should be over by tonight." he said, kissing the top of your head after finishing his sentence.

You finally relaxed in his arms. "I understand if you have to go. I know you're probably busy, so please don't be held up by me."

A small chuckle rumbled through Azriel's body. "If you even think I'm leaving your side for one second, you're wrong." he claimed. "Work can wait. All I care about is you. There is notbing more important than you." he told you, drawing soft circles on your back.

You smiled, hiding your face into his chest. "I love you." you told him. He replied by placing another kiss on top of your head. He forced you to look upward so he could kiss your forehead, then your temples, then your cheeks and finally your mouth.

A giggle left your lips at that. You couldn't wish for a better mate.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

kiss it better

pairing: leon x reader

cw: smut, ddlg, doctor/patient roleplay, p in v, oral

summary: you and leon take turns playing doctor

a/n: it's exactly what you think it is

wc: 3.8k

[edit] taglist:

@rigorwhoring

@dilfprayers

@porcelainseashore

@dollita-fawn

@xoxoloveless

@admirxation

@pawrincss

@onlyasimp4-2dbitches

You’re Leon’s baby girl – no, daddy’s baby girl. You’ve been in this role for most of your relationship – you went from calling him ‘daddy’ during sex to buying a pacifier faster than you can say ‘princess parts’. It’s an always, not a sometimes. Until Leon comes home from an assignment injured. His bicep is wrapped in a bandage, he has a visible cut on his forehead and a bruise on his cheek, possibly a half-healed black eye too.

In your mind, it would be cruel to ask him to take care of you when he’s in a state like this. You should be tending to his wounds and force-feeding him ibuprofen even after he swears he can handle the pain. But daddy is home. He hasn’t been home for weeks, and oh, how you missed him. When you hug him the moment he gets in the door, you call him daddy in your sweet baby girl voice. But you stop yourself before you fall further into that headspace.

For the next couple of days, Leon’s exhaustion weighs on you, especially when he refuses to let you do anything to help him. “Can I get you some water?” “I’ll can do it myself.” etc. etc. etc. You feel dejected and out of place – because, in your typical dynamic, this isn’t your role, so once you get sleepy it all piles on and you can’t keep up this facade of being a 'big girl' anymore.

You walk into the living room wearing your pajamas where Leon is half-asleep on the couch. He opens his eyes at the first sound of a sniffle.

“Daddy…” Leon swears it’s the weakest cry he’s ever heard. He turns and you’re holding your special blanket, rubbing it along your face for comfort. You don’t want him, you need him. Suddenly alert, he hoists himself up and opens his arms wide.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” you cry, but he shushes you and kisses your temple as he pulls you in closer.

“I’m here, baby. Daddy’s got you. Don’t gotta worry anymore.”

You feel guilty and the tears continue to fall. It’s a spiral.

“Baby, come here” he says, cupping both cheeks and gently lifting your face, so he can wipe your tears. After his thumbs brush across your cheeks, he places a kiss on each one.

“I’m happy you came to me when you got sad, alright?” He looks you in the eyes and nods slowly, and you mimic the gesture in understanding. “Plus,” he starts, in a whisper, “daddy missed you too.”

Your eyes light up at the thought of Leon missing you. “Really, daddy?”

“Yes, baby. Daddy missed you so much.”

Daddy missed you in more ways than one. Despite how much he wants to let you dote on him for once, the stubborn part of his brain that insists on doing everything himself keeps getting in the way.

Until he remembers how good you are at playing doctor.

It was at least a month ago when he bought you the Fisher Price doctor set. You were sitting on a beanbag chair in front of the TV while Leon was dozing off on the couch when a commercial came on for a play pretend doctor set, and you decided you had to have it. You shook Leon awake – scared the Hell out of him – to beg him for it. He wanted to say ‘no’, but he looked into your eyes and he broke immediately. Leon hadn’t been in a toy store in ages, and by the time he left, he realized that if he never went back, it would be too soon. You’re the only baby he wants to be around.

On his way out of the mall, he spotted a nurses costume in the window of a store geared towards adults – much more his speed. Though you would be the one to wear it, it was a gift for himself. He got a strange look from someone who noticed he was holding a shopping bag from the toy store while purchasing something akin to lingerie, but he ignored their stares. He’s used to doing weird shit out of love for you.

When he came through the door of your shared apartment, holding his gifts for you, you jumped out of your seat, even more eager to see him than usual.

“For me?” you asked, pointing to the bags.

“Of course it’s for you, baby. Who else do I buy things for?”

The face you made when you saw the plastic stethoscope was well-worth the $39.99 Leon spent. The hug you gave him was tight enough to give him organ damage so he was in need of a doctor anyway. A doctor who takes her payment in kisses is a much more affordable option after such a big purchase, he thought.

He was finishing up some paperwork when you walked into his office wearing the nurse’s costume he picked out for you.

“It’s time for you appointment, daddy” you said, standing in the doorway.

“Huh?” His eyes remained on his computer until you said the word ‘daddy’. When he looked up and saw your attire, he shut his laptop and stood up, completely entranced by you. “Oh. Of course. My doctor’s appointment.”

“Follow me to the examination room,” you said, taking his hand.

Is the doctor supposed to hold the patient’s hand? That little detail didn’t matter to Leon.

The examination room was his bedroom with your toys set up on the bedside table.

“Lie down, please” you said, gesturing to the bed.

“Yes, ma’am,’ he said. Leon reclined on the very expensive - but well-worth the comfort - examination table (aka his king size Sleep Number bed).

Standing by his bedside, you grabbed a notebook and a pen, ready to ask questions. You looked awfully professional for a girl wearing a “Sexy Nurse Costume” as it was labeled on the package.

“What’s your name?” you asked.

“Leon Kennedy.”

You hummed and nodded, writing it down. His answer was satisfactory, though, you would’ve accepted ‘daddy’ as well.

“Age?”

“47.”

“Sex?”

“Love it. Are you offering?”

“Daddy! It doesn’t mean that.” Your pout barely covered up a grin, giddy at the mention of sex.

“Fine. Male.”

“Can I check and see?”

Leon went slack-jawed, an incredulous chuckle escaped his Really? After insisting on professionalism? “Check and see? Are you asking me to take my dick out? Because I don’t think the doctor gets to do that.”

You couldn’t hide your disappointment. Yes, you absolutely wanted him to take his dick out. (And, for your information, Leon, the doctor does get to do that.)

“Fine. How tall are you?”

“6’1.”

“That’s not true! You can’t lie to me. I’m a doctor,” you whined.

“Says who? There’s no rule about lying to doctors.” But your little frown was enough to get him to give in. “Okay, okay. 5’10… and a half. Don’t forget the half.” He reached over and tapped your notebook.

You did not write down the half. You cared much more about Leon’s measurements below the belt, anyway.

“I’m going to take your blood pressure now,” you said, grabbing a toy blood pressure pump. The plastic cuff barely fit around his bicep, which was frustrating in more ways than one. You squeezed the pump to make the cuff tighten around him and pretended to study the numbers.

“It looks good,” you decided. The comment was more directed at the toned upper arm that you held onto rather than his blood pressure.

“Your machine’s broken then. Try again.” Leon’s blood pressure had been increasing with his age and so had his stubbornness, so getting him to take a daily pill was a challenge.

“No. It’s not broken,” you huffed. At this point you were frustrated enough to throw a tantrum if Leon wouldn’t cooperate. “I’m gonna listen to your heart.” You took the stethoscope from around your neck and put the plugs in your ears.

First, you ‘checked his heart’ over his shirt, though it was hard to resist taking it off when Leon purposefully flexed his muscles while you touched him, taunting you with his toned chest that you knew was beneath his t-shirt.

Getting up close and personal with you had Leon’s heart racing per usual, as it was pumping out blood and sending it south. While you were paying attention to his heart (or his broad chest, imagining what it looked like under his shirt), he reached over and knocked something off your “doctor’s table”.

“Whoops,” he said, “Something fell off the table. You better pick it up."

You saw the glint in his eye and knew what he wanted, so you bent over with your ass facing him, letting him see under your dress.

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered when he saw that you weren’t wearing anything underneath the short skirt.

“What was that?” you said, turning to him.

“Nothing.” He smiled and tried to subtly adjust his pants to cover up his now-obvious erection.

“You seem very healthy. Why did you make an appointment?” you asked.

I think I’m sick in the head, babydoll. I can’t stop thinking about fucking my doctor.

“I’ve just had some aches and pains,” he decided to say.

“Where does it hurt?”

“Below my waist.” His face gave away exactly what he meant if his boner hadn’t already.

You placed your hands on his abdomen and pressed. “Right here?”

“Mm-mm.” He shook his head. “Lower.”

You moved your hands down a bit, inching towards the bulge in his pants, setting your palm on it and repeating the question.

“Mm-hmm. Right there.” Leon’s voice went from playful to raspy with need.

Momentarily, you forgot about your role as a medical professional and tugged at the waistband of his sweatpants, trying to get them off.

He raised an eyebrow at you, but stayed silent. “Sorry,” you said, snapped back to imagination, “I need you to please take off your pants or else I can’t figure out what’s wrong.”

“Of course. I’ll trust your judgment, doc. You clearly have the qualifications.” The qualifications being your lack of underwear and your tits that were practically falling out of your dress.

Once his pants came off, you began to palm him over his boxers, still working under the guise of ‘examination’. It took incredible mental fortitude to stop himself from touching you – because it’s not appropriate to grope a medical professional – but all he could think about was bending you over and fucking you in your cute little nurses outfit.

“Can I see it?” you asked, doe-eyed and smiling, and you knew he wouldn’t pass up the offer of you touching him.

“Go right ahead.”

When you wrapped your hand around his cock, it twitched, he was already fully hard with precum leaking from the tip.

“Oh,” you said as if you’d had a revelation, “I think I know what’s wrong, but I know how to fix it,” you said.

“That’s great to hear. Are you going to give me a prescription?”

Leon could go for a Percocet or even a Xanax.

“No, you just need kisses,” you said excitedly.

“Kisses?” Finally, you were getting to the fun part of play time. Fuck the pills, your mouth could do miracles for Leon.

You pressed a kiss to the head of his cock to show him what you meant, beaming when you looked up at him. The little kiss quickly advanced from kitten licks at the tip to fully taking his cock down your throat.

“Fuck, baby. I think it’s workin’ already.” He pulled your hair back into a makeshift ponytail. “Best doctor I’ve ever had. The prettiest too.”

You took your hands and placed them over his, pushing your head down further, instructing him. You met his eyes, which were practically glazing over.

“You want me to-?” He didn’t finish the sentence ‘cause there’s not really a nice way to ask if you want him to fuck your face.

You hummed in response, and the sound reverberated through his body. He couldn’t refuse you, but he forced himself to remain as gentle as possible since you’re still his little girl. You’re too precious for him to hurt your throat no matter how much you ask him to be rough with you.

When he neared the edge, he pulled your head off of him. “Baby, daddy’s gonna cum soon if you keep goin’.”

“Please, daddy, I want it,” you whined.

“I know you do, but I wanna fuck you first.”

Climbing into his lap, you hovered over his dick, and brought his hand underneath your skirt.

“Does the doctor have something she needs help with too?”

You nodded, too embarrassed about how wet you were to respond.

His fingers trailed up your thighs and met your soaking wet cunt. “I think you need kisses too. I think you’ve been needing ‘em for a while, huh?”

He looked to you for a response but you were too flustered to come up with anything but a weak ‘yeah’.

“You’re so naughty, baby,” he whispered. “Where’d your panties go? Didn’t wear any ‘cause you wanted daddy to see your princess parts?” Leon slid a finger inside you and your knees threatened to buckle, so he had to hold your thighs steady. He added another digit, eliciting an unbridled moan from you. “I don’t think you need much help, baby. I think you’re already ready to take daddy, huh?”

“Yeah,” you said, voice breaking, “Need daddy inside.”

Without another word he positioned himself at your entrance, holding your hips while you sunk down on his cock. You remained still, sitting atop him.

“I’m not the doctor,” he reminded you with a pat on the bottom. “You’re the one in charge.”

You rocked your hips back and forth slowly, your clit rubbing against the small patch of hair above his dick. You were no longer focused on Leon, only the way he was making you feel – so good it made you weak. It turned you into a whimpering mess, and you struggled to continue the movements of your hips on your own.

“Daddy, I can’t. It’s too much. Need help.”

“Yeah? Daddy can help you, baby. You’re doin’ so well for me sweetheart. Your pretty little princess parts are a cure-all.”

And when you sit in his lap weeks later, Leon stands by that. “I’m sorry I keep pushing you away when you try to take care of me.” You nod, but keep your eyes pointed down. He tilts your chin up. “I have an idea,” he whispers.

The glint in his eye makes you perk up. “What is it, daddy?”

“Remember that one time when we played doctor?” You nod, eagerly.

“Do you wanna play doctor with me?” He winks, hoping you’ll get his message – you do not need to pull out the stethoscope.

“Yes.” You smile so wide it already makes Leon feel a little bit better.

Leon runs his hand over his bandaged bicep, showing you where he needs your attention most. “Can the doctor kiss it all better for me?”

You nod, looking confident in your abilities to heal him before placing a gentle kiss on his wounded arm.

“Baby girl, you don’t have to worry so much about hurting me.”

You try again, giving him a singular peck, and looking at him for approval.

“You’re so good to me, makin’ me feel so much better already.”

“I wanna make daddy feel all better.”

He hums in response. “How ‘bout right here?” He points to a cut on his forehead, not large enough to need a gauze covering, so it remains on display.

You do as he suggests and kiss his forehead – in return, he kisses your forehead and says, “I feel so much better, baby. I just have on more place that I need you to kiss.”

“Where is it, daddy?”

In his pants, obviously.

“I think it’ll be better if I show you instead of just telling you,” he says, gently taking your hand and placing it over his now-obvious hard-on.

“Did you hurt it?”

“No.” Actually, that’s a lie. Leon beat the fuck out of it every day he was away from you while thinking about the feeling of your tight cunt squeezing him. No matter how much saliva he used, he couldn’t get his cock as wet as you could. At some point, jerking off dry began to irritate his skin, so really, he did hurt himself a bit.

When you stand up, planning to get down on your knees, Leon notices a wet spot on his thigh.

He looks at you, genuinely surprised but more aroused than anything else. Sure, you’re wearing only an oversized t-shirt and panties, but you’d have to be soaking wet to leave a mark like that.

“Does somebody need daddy’s help?” he asks playfully.

“Maybe,” you say, fidgeting with your own fingers, avoiding Leon’s gaze.

“Speak up, baby. Do you need daddy’s help with something?”

“I think I need daddy to be the doctor this time.”

“You’re not expecting me to wear that little nurse costume, right?”

“No, that’s only for little girl doctors.”

“Mm-hmm.” You try to shy away from him but he pulls you in closer and nuzzles his face in your neck. “Does this mean you need daddy to give you special kisses like you did when you were the doctor?”

“Yeah, I need daddy to kiss it all better.”

“I think I need to take you up to the examination room, right?”

You climb into his arms and he carries you upstairs, half-assing the doctor role. Once in his room, he lays you down on the bed and stands beside it, ready to give you an examination the same way you did for him all those weeks ago.

“I’m gonna look and see what the problem is. Okay, baby?”

“Yeah,” you say, pulling up your shirt to reveal your panties, already anticipating.

Leon places a kiss on your tummy, mumbling, “you’re such a good girl.”

With flushed cheeks and wide eyes, you watch as Leon hooks his fingers in the fabric of your panties. “Baby, I don’t even know why you’re wearin’ these when it’s not stoppin’ you from gettin’ me all wet.”

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

“Don’t be sorry. Baby girls just can’t help it sometimes, can they?”

Leon shakes his head and you mimic him, pouty face and all. It takes everything in him not to laugh when you get all fuzzy in the head like this. It’s too cute how you’ll follow his lead without a thought in your mind.

Leon’s fingers remain dexterous despite his injuries. He tugs your panties down in one fluid motion and spreads your legs so he can get a good look at your cunt. Princess parts. He understands why they have stirrups at the gyno now. He could do wonderful, depraved things to you with those.

“So pretty, baby,” he muses as his thumb glides over your glistening folds. “I don’t know why you need to visit the doctor when you look so perfect down here.”

“’Cause, daddy-”

He stops you. “I thought I was your doctor. Do you call the doctor daddy?”

“Dr. Daddy,” you begin and he accepts the bargain you’ve placed before him. “I need kisses.”

“Where?” He never ceases playing with your pussy while he speaks. A tease through and through.

“You know where,” you protest, too embarrassed to say the words.

“Nuh-uh. You have to use your words.”

You sigh and then whisper, “on my princess parts.”

“Oh, of course, baby. Can’t believe I missed that. I must not be a very good doctor.”

“Last time when we were playing you were a very bad patient. You gotta be good at something, or else we can’t play.”

“You think I’m not good huh?”

“No, I think you’re the best daddy ever,” you insist, the truth though you’d say just about anything at this point to get him to touch you.

Satisfied with the title of Best Daddy Ever, Leon begins your special treatment, placing feather-light kisses on your inner thighs, slowly making his way up to your core. He laps at your folds until you’re crying out for him to fuck you. (Not with such vulgar words, of course). It gets harder and harder for you to hold back.

“Need it, need it, need it, daddy. I’m too close.”

“No, baby,” he says with glossy lips. “Your condition is really bad. One orgasm isn’t gonna be enough to fix it.”

Leon may not practice medicine, but he is a well-practiced man who knows what he’s doing when it comes to sex. He knows your pussy so well he wonders if he would be a good obgyn. There’s no way all those male gynos can find the clit.

“Gonna need you to cum on my face, baby girl. Can you do that?”

“Yes, daddy.” Leon could insist on making you call him doctor but Leon has left the room, and daddy would never ask you to do anything differently.

Leon remains composed until you pull his hair - the feeling makes him groan into your core. If your eyes weren’t screwed shut, you’d see his roll back too.

Whatever you try to say while you’re cumming is completely unintelligible. Probably a mixture of toned-down expletives and ‘daddy’ chanted over and over. Leon can’t wait until you’ve calmed down, he’s waited for weeks and feels like he might truly keel over and die if he doesn’t get his dick in you stat. Before you came into his life Leon didn’t know he could get so hard it made him feel light-headed. Or maybe it’s the blood pressure medication. He can’t ask his precious doctor since your brain has left your body. Your brain cells must’ve spilled out of your drippy cunt, Leon thinks.

Before you can get your wits about you, Leon is fully-sheathed inside you. It doesn’t matter how tight you are, when you’re this wet, he can slip inside with minimal force. No words leave your mouth, only babbles and drool, and there’s nothing behind your eyes.

“Did daddy fuck you stupid already?”

Either you’re nodding or you’re letting your head loll with each rough thrust, but it doesn’t matter because you’re clearly not thinking at all. Finally. You had a bad case of the worries, and Leon’s dick is the cure.

“Where’s daddy’s smart girl, huh?” he teases.

But Leon’s wise-ass comments are short-lived because you clamp down on his dick and he can do nothing but groan as he feels his impending orgasm.

“Gonna cum inside you, yeah?” he asks urgently, and Leon finds that you might not have the words to tell him what you want but you have some semblance of thought because you wrap your legs around his hips and force him to stay deep inside you while your simultaneous orgasm heightens the intensity of his.

“Daddy?” you ask, listening to his ceaseless heavy panting beside your ear.

“Uh-huh,” he mumbles.

“Did it work? Do you feel all better?”

“I feel amazing, baby.” He sighs. “But I need a nap.”

“Being a doctor is hard work.”

“I’ll have to let you be the doctor again next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah. I think I pulled a muscle or two… at least. Gimme a couple hours and I’ll need another dose of kisses.”

[princessjojo-x]

8th House Synastry

if second house is self sufficiency, eight house is merging with another. platonic or sexual, there’s an unmatched depth that pervades the connection & binds the partners together, for better or worse. this is an all or nothing rxship which flows deep enough to hurt or heal both partners. partners will have the highest of highs together & the lowest of lows together. it will either cause everlasting love or everlasting trauma. this synastry has a bad rep bc it can be frightening & agonising at times, but frankly there’s no other synastry with as much emotional depth as this - it just hits different!

within this intoxicating rxship, everything is felt too much & seems more intense than it should. even a simple glance can send shivers down one’s spine; even small disputes will be hard to forgive & forget. the potency of this aspect can be felt the moment partners meet & will intensify the more partners get to know one another. this can feel extremely stimulating, leading to themes of obsession & codependency. the connection becomes much deeper than partner’s anticipated; they planned to have a noncommittal & fun arrangement, but they suddenly want to have an official rxship & hate when that cant be fulfilled. partners feel like they need to see each other & need to always have each other by their side. partners will feel urged to change their life path (career, location, etc) just to be aligned & interlocked with the other. it’s hard for partners to just be “casual” or “superficial” with each other bc interactions with one another have a very intense undertone.

if the attraction isn’t mutual, it will feel absolutely painful & devastating. the rejection will cause you to behave in ways you never thought you would - stalking, possessiveness, delusion, etc.

since this is the house of taboo, the attraction may be wrong in some way, possibly leading to a secretive rxship. the rxship may be forbidden in some way - for example, maybe you can’t be together bc one of you is already taken or there’s too much distance between the two of you. whatever the case may be, usually this is a rxship that others may not expect or accept.

this aspect almost always involves blessings disguised in suffering - therefore, it’s not best placement for synastry, unless its backed up by stronger & more grounded placements. one subconsciously sees the other as a blessing delivery or redirection to their life, even if they’re being mistreated & the rxship is toxic. this can can even be an enemies to lovers dynamic or a love-hate rxship that hurts so good.

these rxships are always fated & transformative. partners meet each other to teach each other a lesson which they’ll never forget. partners involvement with each other will drastically change the both of them. the transformation process can be utterly harsh & traumatic, but it produces a new & improved version them; similar to a major surgery, it fixes the problem within but definitely leaves a scar, so you always remember the pain of the recovery process. interestingly, partners usually find each other when one or both of them is at rock bottom. additionally, you may feel more like your “true self” when your with them as a-posed to when you’re without them.

if second house is our self esteem, eight house is our weak spot. forget small talk & superfical relations bc this is where secrets reside. partners unknowingly uncover each other’s rawest layers. even if one is too scared of revealing themself, the other can read them like a book anyway. even if one is typically not the type to disclose their business, they will naturally share their whole life story with the other. partners will be able to open up completely & be understood in a way they never have before. partners bond by delving beneath the tip of the iceberg; they unveil each-others deepest wounds, fears & desires. on the downside… (1) this can become their only point of attraction to one another, whilst their other basic needs for a rxship are not met. (2) many people can't handle this synastry bc its so invasive & overwhelming. this house governs the deep parts of ourselves that we want to keep hidden. when those parts are seen we feel vulnerable. (3) partners know exactly what to say to either bring up or take down each other.it's in the darkness that we find the light & it's in the intensity of these rxships that we find our true selves.

eight house governs our inner power. planet is able to easily see everything house is capable of. this breeds a rose coloured glasses effect. planet perceives house as more attractive, scary, important, etc than house actually is. but this may cause planet to feel intimidated, threatened & jealous. planet’s envy of house provokes planet to gossip or betray house. on the other hand, planet may feel fascination & admiration for house, which causes planet to talk abt house a lot & house can even become embeded in planets subconscious - this is where the infamous obsession & attachment comes from. planet may become obsessed with houses hidden side which prompts planet to cross a lot of houses boundaries. for example, planet going through houses phone or diary. when healthy, planet could have a desire to empower house or planet could feel more empowered around house. houses presence could help planet feel like they can get through anything. when unhealthy, planet feels powerless around house & wants to prove themselves to house. either way, house definitely has immense power over planet & planet is aware of this. what the power struggle is abt depends on the planet. for example, venus causes a power struggle over who’s the most popular, beautiful, wealthy etc. initially, planets obsessive nature makes house feel triggered & disturbed. eventually, house becomes intrigued & attracted to planet.

if second house is the sugar daddy, eight house is the sugar baby. partners may feel urged to give or gain from one another. it's advised to connect with someone you have this synastry with if they have a higher position than you professionally or materially so you can learn from them & gain from the rxship.

since this is such an intense connection, it’s difficult for partners to leave each other completely. whenever partners try to move on, theres a sense of being haunted (which is amplified if accompanied by twelve house synastry). for example, you accidentally bump into their friends or family, you see their name everywhere, you hear the songs they like, you find people with similar faces to them. its hard to let go when you’re being constantly reminded of them.

in conclusion, this connection can undoubtedly lead to beautiful & long lasting rxship. expect plenty of life lessons bonding at the deepest level, addictive attachment, genuine devotion, controlling behaviour, high sexual chemistry, strong physical attraction & soulmate connection.

Rising

this aspect brings intense intimacy. house disliking rising or may have heard a bad rumor abt rising. but once house gets to know/talks to rising for the first time, house will become completely smitten with rising (or vice versa). rising helps house explore harsh topics with more ease & offers an encouraging perspective to house. house can refer to rising as their rock & house admires risings strength. however, house may resent rising for their courageous nature & perceive it as too impulsive.(aquarius or sagittarius asc)

Sun

initially, house may underestimate sun. house may perceive them as weak or not take them seriously. eventually, sun will show that they’re more powerful than house thought. sun may make house feel overshadowed or insecure & consequently house copies suns mannerisms. also, usually one partner finds the other too intense, invasive & off-putting.(aquarius sun/virgo asc)

Moon

if there’s no physical attraction between partners or there’s many bad aspects, this connection can become extremely annoying. if partners become enemies there will be no boundaries in regards to what they will do to take each other down. whether they are lovers or enemies, there is no denying house provokes something so intense within moon & moon feels deep emotions when in the company of house. this can manifest as compulsive desire for s3x, possessiveness, power, etc. moon becomes fascinated with house emotionally & sexually. moon perceives house as a secret they can never solve. moon needs to know everything abt house & moon will even cross some boundaries to dig up houses secrets. moon either doesn’t realise or doesn’t care abt how weird this behaviour may seem. despite house being attracted to moon too, house feels constantly analysed by moon. moon feels the need to spend a lot of time with house or to constantly keep tabs on house. moon can be too obsessed with house & very controlling over how house expresses themselves. moon can turn this obsession into a dislike & become houses biggest hater - competing with house, gossiping abt house, etc. this behaviour can be be very one sided on moons part & house senses the power they have over moon. there is always a fear of vulnerability from both partners within this synastry. partners always feel what the other feels. sexually, comfort is key for both partners. usually moon will be quite submissive & favourable towards house. moon seek more foreplay & deep-talk. partners may break up only to reconnect years later bc of their compulsive desire for each other, which may seem to fade temporarily, but it always comes back & is never satisfied.(aquarius moon or virgo asc)

Venus

this aspect produces more feminine themes & energy. therefore, expect frequent occurrence of manipulation, guilt trips, pettiness & emotional outbursts. additionally, partners can become competitive with each other once they break up; for example, dating new people straight away just to spite one another! partners feels like they have strong chemistry before they even know each other well! initially, venus feels both attracted & scared of house. venus embodies pluto traits & behaves more tense. there is a mystery surrounding house that venus can't seem to wrap their head around. eventually, venus will have grow immense loyalty towards house. venus will feel urged to financially support houses lifestyle. venus finds so much beauty in the things house is usually ashamed abt. venus person can feel very possessive/obsessive over house & even forget the bad things house does simply bc the love is so overpowering, which will be amplified if venus is insecure in any way. s3x will not be the “one-night stand” type. it will be intense, aggressive, intimate & emotionally deep, affecting both partners. s3x-wise, venus will be able to create a new experience for house every time & venus will drastically transform house views on sex. there may be a lot of secrets shared/kept in this rxship or the rxship itself may remain a secret from the public eye. (aquarius venus or libra asc)

Mars

this aspect produces more masculine themes & energy. mars has such a straightforward, pushy, dominant & rushing approach. mars feels intensely infatuated & drawn to house. mars feels a strong desire to bond & merge with house. mars views house as a guilty pleasure & mars is constantly observing house (in a scorpion way). mars feels such a sense of urgency to conquer house, mars may do impulsive things just for houses attention, including gifting or surprising mars. since mars feels very thrilled & adrenalized by house, mars often expresses random & intense bursts of needing to physically touch or be in close reach to house. mars can take on a very intense energy when around house that others will pick up on but the sheer depth is something that’ll always only exists between the two partners. mars doesn’t forget abt house easily bc house literally changes mars’s life. the rxship may be difficult to end bc mars will be persistent in continuing the rxship.

initially, house feels scared & timid towards mars. however, house simultaneously feels extremely sexy, mesmerised & aroused by mars’s raw desire. house needs to see progress before completely losing their restraint & expressing their feelings.

partners have strong chemistry before they even know each other well. consequently, they tend to operate more on instincts & lack awareness of basic emotions. theres a strong need for physical intimacy & touch; like gentle touching or outright fighting. conversations between the two are very 1-on-1 even if they’re in a group setting.

sex if ever allowed can easily become addictive bc it’s so intense. partners have sex like the world is going to end, possibly in forbidden places or secret spots. the sex involves a lot of teasing, power plays, hair pulling, helping each other masturbate & holding each other as close as possible. sex is used as form of escapism, a release of pent up feelings & a strong way to show their love to each other. you can expect mars to initiate the sexual contact as soon as possible & mars will ensure to go all out for house in the bedroom. also, partners find eachothers names attractive. despite them feeling intrigued & excited for each other. partners may have heavy & negative feelings for one another, one day they love each other, the next day they want to avoid each other. they like to pull each other, but neither takes the bait. partners may low-key resent resent one another for no particular reason. actually, there is a reason but it’s usually something the person doesn’t want to admit, since this house represents what we deliberately keep under lock & key. also, traumas can show through this rxship, like deep talks at night or triggering each others deep wounds. (libra asc or aqua mars) & s3xual tension,

[mamiobesssionfics]

Catch You If You Fall

Rhea Ripley x Reader

Request: please can we get an Experienced Rhea x Inexperienced F Reader where she’s too scared to fall in love with another woman and Rhea reassures her or something like that maybe? maybe a mix of fluff and smut 🥹 thanks and ilu💕

A/N: Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy it! 💕💕💕

Even if you might be inexperienced with love, you wouldn't say you were a saint.

You have found your fair share of videos whenever you were lonely and home alone.

You built walls, and convinced yourself that you were better off alone.

You couldn't handle another betrayal like this. It was too much.

But then, along came Rhea. 

Rhea was unlike anyone you had ever met before. 

What you never expected was to find someone so kind.

Someone so confident and amazing.

Someone who was so patient with you.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to. I want you to be comfortable." these were her first words after your first date when she tried to kiss you but you pulled back.

You feared that she would be disappointed and that she would leave. But she ended up staying. 

The pain of betrayal left your heart shattered and closed off to the idea of ever loving again. 

It simply hurt too bad.

She was kind, patient, and understanding, everything that you were looking for. She saw through your tough exterior and knew that deep down, there was a heart full of love just waiting to be set free. 

And so, she asked you for more dates.

It amazed you that she could read you like a book.

You didn't even talk that much with her about your past, and yet Rhea was determined to show you that love was worth the risk. 

At least, one more time. 

At first, you fought Rhea's advances. 

Too afraid to let your guard down, to be vulnerable once more, you tried your best to just hide. 

But Rhea was persistent. 

She showered you with affection, kindness, and tireless support. 

And you were only a make-up person.

Slowly but surely, you began to feel the walls around your heart crumble.

And you weren't sure if you liked that.

As their relationship blossomed, you found yourself opening up to Rhea in ways you never thought possible. 

She shared your fears, insecurities, and passion. 

Through it all, Rhea remained by your side, offering comfort and relief. 

She never once said or did anything you didn't like.

Rhea got your love not with grand gestures but with the simple act of being there, listening, and understanding.

And then, one day, you realized that she had fallen in love with Rhea. 

She helped you to let go of your fears and allowed yourself to be vulnerable once more. 

To love, once more.

And in doing so, you had found a love that was stronger and more beautiful than anything you had ever known. 

Rhea had proven that love was worth the risk, that it could heal even the deepest wounds.

It was during your sixth date when you asked her to come up to your place.

You had enough of the self-loathing and decided to take action.

Action with you almost immediately regret when she took a step into your room.

No words were spoken, none were needed.

Her lips found yours and moulded against it.

Laboured breathing, screams of pleasure and her name in low breaths.

It was a night to remember, that is for sure.

From that day on, you embraced love with open arms. But not just any love, Rhea's love. 

You no longer feared the past, for she knew that Rhea would always be there to catch you if you fell. 

[animeshotsh]

https://www.tumblr.com/animeshotsh/741539075795877888/not-the-baby-various-x-kidreader?source=share

What will happen If in this fic ☝︎ we're badly injured and Lucifer was a little bit too late to save us?

Anon this is going to hurt T_T

Warnings: alternative universe - violence - cursing - death - angst? - off canon events - grammar mistakes -

In this scenario you got several wounded by the angels. Everybody tried to protect you but they were too many of them and just a few of you.

Once Alastor "lost" against Adam everytning went downhill. Adam did a number on you, not caring for a single moment if you were a kid or not, he just saw another sinner.

Did you see how angry Charlie got when seeing how Valentino talked to Angel ? Well, now get that anger and make it worse.

Charlie its a beast. Adam not only did kill Sr.Pentious but dared to hurt you, her little relative, not by blood but for sure by emotions.

Even with her anger she cant defeat Adam and it just makes her worse.

Its when Lucifer comes to her rescue and then sees you on the ground being tended by Angel the best he can that he snaps.

Oh boy, he snaps really bad.

Its not a fight, its a gigant crushing an insect. Lucifer wont go easy, he wont play with Adam he will go and make him suffer.

And do you remember how Alastor went off to heal ? Well the shadow thats always with you just happen to tell him how bad you are doing and who caused it. And now he is back at the battelfield.

Once Adam its on the ground, Charlie, Lucifer and Alastor take turns on punching him till Adam its letting out gold blood from his mouth.

Only when a worried "boys" from Angel calls them they stop and go towards you.

And oh....no.

Lucifer knows before anyone, not even his angelic powers can heal you. All your bones are broken and miss placed. Blood its coming out from your side and head.

And you really want to give the three of them a smile, to make them feel and understand that this is not their fault.

But you cant. Everything hurts too much and you cant even see well. You end dying down there in the arms of your father and sister. Alastor having to turn around to prevent anyone from seeing his face.

The last thing they saw from you was your scared look.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

After that, everything lost its bright. Lucifer would end more depress and Charlie would lose her hope for sinner to go to heaven after seeing what an angel did to a kid. No one can mention your name in front of Alastor who is more scary and sinister now. Whatever light you managed to bring on him its now gone with you.

~☆~☆~☆~☆

In a much more brighter and peacefull place.

You wake up and the first thing you see its a pair or purple eyes and big white wings.

"Hello! Im Emily, welcome to heaven, whats your name little one?"

"Im...(Y/N)..." and thats all you can recall. Because the afterlife its cruel, you cant remember anything from your life on earth or in hell.

You just have your name and the angel named "Emily" now.

[astuteology]

♡Some beautiful and wholesome observations♡

°○●•°○●•°○●•°○●•°○●•°○●•°○●•°○●•°○●

Ps: the following observations are written from a positive perspective. Each and every sign has negative and dark qualities as well but i wanted to share the good and positive side.

----------------------------------------------

《 🌊💧🧊❄️ ♡ 🔥💥🌋🧨 》

◇ WATER SIGNS [cancer, scorpio & pisces] and FIRE SIGNS [aries, leo & sagittarius]‐‐‐‐

‐‐‐‐ can become the best lovers for each other. They both need adventure. They have an inbuilt passion for life. I highly recommend you all to watch ELEMENTAL movie by Disney pixar. It perfectly portrays the love between them. Its really the universal law with them: opposites attract.

But both the elements are scared to share their intensity. Both know that only the other one can make them feel alive. Fire keeps the water flowing and water keeps the fire alive. Water can calm the fiery rage in the fire. Fire can keep the water stable within their mind. Together its like a volcanic eruption. Unfortunately, either one or both are immature and runs away from commitment, responsibility and accountability. I really wish both the elements heal from their deep rooted trauma/issues/wounds. Fire signs, let water drown you in their love where you will feel safe and alive. Water signs, let fire make the steam, you will feel relaxed and warm.

`°•`°•`°•`°•`°•`°•`°•`°•

《💨🌫️🌪️🎐 ♡ 🌍🌱⛰️🗺 》

◇AIR SIGNS [gemini, libra & aquarius] and EARTH SIGNS [taurus, virgo & Capricorn]‐‐‐‐

‐‐‐‐ make very stable and beautiful couple together. They make each other grow. They fulfill their destiny together. With this, i high recommend you to watch WALL‐E, eva as the air sign and wall‐e as the earth sign. Its the case of polar opposite. Both are unique and hard working in their own ways. Air can show earth a new and different way to live life. Earth can show air the importance of stability and that how important it is to have a plan in life. Air gives out of the box solutions whereas earth is the natural problem solver. Air shows earth the new perspective of life and earth feels mesmerized by it. Earth takes pretty good care of the air and air gives earth the support and motivation they never get from anyone. Its very balancing. Very soothing. Very strategic and long lasting.

Unfortunately, either one or both of them have their guards wayyyy high up and refuses to let the other in. Due to their little to no trust in people, they put on a false facade for the world to see. Its almost impossible for them to trust anyone. They see other people as non ambitious. They don't like low life people. As a result, earth starts throwing hard tests on air just to see if they're trustworthy. Air, as a result, gets exhausted and flies away, which in turn makes the earth feel toxic and negative emotions. They feel so hurt that their mind starts seeing everyone as unworthy of their time and heart. Air on the other hand likes a slow burn. They like teasing, they want earth to earn them. They want earth to learn them because air feels deeply misunderstood. But earth is already exhausted by expecting people to act right, they shut down infront of air. They find love and friendship in each other that no one else could never give them. Unfortunately, both of them turn toxic for each other. Instead of healing, they blame each other. I really wish they both practice listening and communicating. Air signs, please don't feel terrified of earth, take their hand, you'll be safe forever. Earth signs, they won't let you down, I know you want to relax and enjoy life, let the air take you in their arms, you'll feel okay. You will feel free.

°•○●°•○●°•○○°•○●°

◇ aries and scorpio makes a very redamancy couple. Both gives each other the love that no one ever gave them. They protect each other's feelings and each other also.

◇ Capricorn and cancer together are like dad and mom. You know those old couples we see, they're so affectionate and supportive of each other? Yes that, both the signs are like that for each other.

◇ aries and Capricorn make a very powerful couple together. They protect each other from the outer world. They learn from each other alot. They both grow together. Aries gradually learn to tame down their anger and frustration and they become balanced with their emotions due to Capricorn. Capricorn on the other hand gradually learns to feel emotions that they kept buried inside, they let their inner child finally come out due to aries.

◇ taurus and sagittarius makes a very bubbly and wholesome couples. They enjoy alot with each other. Opposite attracts.

◇ cancer and pisces together makes a very emotional couple. Both learn from each other's emotions. They know each other to the core.

◇virgo and libra / aquarius and libra makes for a very happy and supportive couple. They prefer being a team and don't let anyone get between them.

◇ libra relaxes Capricorn's mind.

◇ aquarius and Capricorn= mindfully connected couple.

◇ sagittarius and aries = chaotic together.

◇ pisces and Capricorn = protecting each other at any cost.

◇ taurus and scorpio = long lasting.

◇ gemini and pisces= they understand each other. Since gemini is one of the most misunderstood sign, pisces empathise with gemini making them feel safe and understood.

◇ leo and Capricorn/ scorpio and Capricorn = can actually work together really really well. Capricorn is strategic and leo/scorpio just goes for it. Together they can attain so many things together.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

That's all for now <3

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

Good Luck, Babe! (5)- Nothing More Than His Wife

Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+

Inspired by the song 'Good Luck, Babe!' by Chappell Roan

Summary: Returning to Westview after twelve years away causes you to look back on your secret love affair with Wanda, to remember the intimate moments you shared together before her refusal to accept her true self drove the two of you apart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart alone.

What happens when you reunite with the woman you've been trying so hard to forget, forced to watch her suffer in an unhappy marriage that was slowly drowning her, still too scared to confront her true feelings?

Chapter 5- 4.3k Words

Good Luck, Babe! Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

Twelve Years Later

A defeated sigh tiredly left her lips as her eyes gradually fluttered open, adjusting to the dark room as mere slivers of moonlight peeked through the gaps in the curtains, only partly illuminating her shared bedroom. The light reflected off the gold band wrapped around her finger as she adjusted her position on the bed as quietly as she could, her despondent green flickering over to the clock, noticing how it had just gone past midnight before letting her gaze drift to the other side of the bed, taking in the sight of his short blonde hair as he slept peacefully, an occasional snore escaping him.

Wanda couldn’t stop the other sigh that fell from her lips, her fingers pushing back her auburn locks carelessly before holding her head in her hands, trying to untangle the mess of thoughts swirling around in her head as she struggled to sleep. The weight of the day pressed heavily on her shoulders as she thought back to the argument she had with Vision, his words and the ring on her finger a reminder that she was nothing more than his wife, nothing more than a mother to their children, the one thing everyone told her should be enough. It should be. She was supposed to be lucky to have this; a ‘loving’ husband, a family of her own, a large house and a steady income, she should be grateful but she wasn’t because this wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted more, she wanted… to be loved, to be appreciated, to be seen. She just wanted to be seen again, her mind unable to stop herself from thinking back to the last person who ever made her feel this way.

Her heart fluttered at the thought of you, your soft, playful and casual smile that you always offered her, the way your eyes overflowed with mirth and joy as you teased her and did everything you could to make her laugh and smile, to make her feel as though she was the only thing in the world that mattered. 

The warmth and longing that wrapped around her heart was quickly stripped away as she continued to think about you, the wound on her heart that had never healed making its presence known as that broken look in your eyes resurfaced in her mind, the way despite your world was crumbling around you, you still tried comfort and care for her.

Your soft words painfully rang around her head, haunting her as the guilt of that day consumed her, that familiar nauseous feeling stirring inside her as she sighed once more, giving in to the thought of that day. She hated herself for hurting you, she regretted choosing others over herself that day and lying to you, for saying she didn’t love because she did- no, she didn’t, she couldn’t face the truth. She still couldn’t. It was engraved into her, her mind punishing her for wanting to be different, to be something other than normal. It was wrong, yet she still wished to think of you that way, needing an escape from the unfair world she was stuck in.

She missed you. Her mind, her body, her heart, had missed you, her entire being craving you in every way possible. She longed to feel your soft fingers brush back her hair, to tuck it behind her ear and gaze at her with love overflowing from your eyes, to smile tenderly at her as she propped her head on your chest, listening to the steady beat of your heart to help her relax. She needed to feel your laugh stir warmth in her as she endured your light-hearted teasing, to feel the blush rising to her cheeks, tinting a vibrant pink as you would continue to tease and torment, making it up to her with a delicate kiss or a more sinful one, not that she minded. She also missed playing with your fingers, a habit you didn’t judge her for as she grew anxious about something, simply offering yourself to her comfort and console her, something she desperately needed now. She just wanted to be understood.

At the conflicting emotions flooding through her and overwhelming her confused mind, she groaned quietly in frustration, sliding her hands down her tired face before checking on Vision to make sure he hadn’t woken up, a snore confirming he hadn’t and causing her to swiftly sneak out of the covers, pulling a dressing gown over her shoulders to cover her body as she made her way over to her drawers. Carefully, she opened the wooden furniture as quietly as she could, pushing away the various clothes hiding the small box tucked away at the back, her fingers gently wrapping around it before pulling it out, holding it close to her chest as she slipped out of the bedroom, making her way downstairs to sit outside on the patio chairs.

The gentle glow of the moon was enough to illuminate the items in the box as she slowly opened it, matching polaroids filling it to the brim as she felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes at the nostalgic feeling bubbling inside her, the whirlwind of emotions the photos stirred in her making her exhale a shaky breath. Her fingers trembled as she picked up the first polaroid, a sad smile gracing her lips as she admired the pictures of the two of you, remembering the event as though it happened yesterday.

A click caught her attention as she turned away from the sunset, Wanda’s brow raising at you as you leaned against the pillows in your truck, camera pointed at the brunette as she let her gaze savour the sight of your cocky smile as another click sounded around the car.

“Have you ever thought about modelling?” you mumble from behind the camera, a comfortable silence briefly wrapping around the two of you as you waited for the photo to print out, Wanda’s shy but equally amused smile enough to tell you her answer. You loved how the two of you didn’t always need words to communicate, a simple look, touch, or shared smile was enough as you stared at her, taking in her expression.

“What do you think?” she mumbles sarcastically as she turns around to face you, naturally shuffling her body closer to yours as she peers over at the polaroids you had taken of her without her realising, her green flickering from photo to photo, smiling fondly at the one of you sticking your tongue out whilst she slept on your chest, the peaceful look on her face as she relaxed with you.

“I think you have,” you mumble playfully, encouraging her to straddle your waist as she settles there comfortably, wrapping her arms around your neck loosely as you peer up at her, adoration evident in your eyes whilst you admire every feature on her face. “Because you are the most beautiful woman in the world,” you murmur after a moment, too busy getting lost in those enchanting green, convinced they were hypnotic as you always managed to lose yourself in them.

“Flirt,” she mutters, the blush on her cheeks and the shyness tinting her tone letting you know your words caused butterflies to swarm her stomach, her smile growing that little bit wider as you lean forwards, letting your lips ghost hers whilst your hand moves the camera to the side subtly, waiting for the perfect moment to snap a picture.

“I’m just telling the truth,” you whisper, your free hand caressing her hips whilst one of her hands cup your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheek gently, a glimmer of love briefly appearing in her eyes before she pushes the thoughts away, stopping herself from letting the words spill from her lips at your enamoured look. Instead of confessing, her lips meet yours tenderly, a smile breaking out on both of your faces as she hears the familiar click of the camera, her lips pecking yours once more before she tilts her head to look at your hand trying to balance the camera in a good position, her eyes rolling at your actions and love bubbling inside her.

A single tear fell from her eyes gracefully at the memory, lingering on her cheeks until her trembling fingers reached up to brush it away, to brush away the pain of remembering you brought her as she placed the polaroids down, the smiles on your younger faces almost mocking her for what she didn’t have anymore. She didn’t have you and… she never would.

***

Your eyes drifted from the endless road in front of you as you passed the large metal sign stating ‘Welcome to Westview’, a small smile creeping onto your lips as you returned home after all those years away, your head tilting to the side as soft pants met your ears over the quiet music. Lucky’s tongue was sticking out of his mouth as he waited impatiently in the seat next to you, his golden ears twitching back when he heard the sound of the window opening next to him, his adorable face poking out of the car as you drove through the streets of Westview, nostalgia crashing down on you like a tidal wave.

Every building you passed by dug up unexpected memories, the small town being somewhere you had explored every corner of in your youth either with Natasha or…her, the memory of the brunette causing an ache to settle in your chest, reminding you of how she left a scar on you.

You would be lying to say you hadn’t thought about the other woman, Wanda having consumed your thoughts far more than you would have wanted over the last twelve years, somehow still owning a piece of your heart despite everything that had happened. It still hurt, the words she said to you, they still plagued your thoughts and tormented you, but you tried your best to push them away, to focus on yourself and your life instead of the possibilities you could have had with her, the life you had always longed for.

You knew it was unfair to think about but part of you hoped she still thought about you, that you still haunted her thoughts the way she did yours, a deep sigh escaping you as you shook the thoughts away. No, you wanted her to be happy, to have moved on from you and hopefully find the life she always wanted, even if you still hadn’t found your true place in the world yet, your time in England ending on a sour note.

Before you could even feel bitter about the events of the last couple months, your gaze caught sight of the old convenience you worked at as you stopped at a red light, the way the old building had been abandoned and fenced off completely caused a suffocating cloud of longing to wrap tightly around you, blurring your thoughts together as you yearned for things to go back to the way they were, for things to have never changed and forced you to grow up. You wanted to be young and in love again, to have no care in the world as you drove down the streets in the middle of the night, singing your hearts out like you were the only people to exist. You wanted to feel free again.

It was wistful thinking and you knew it was, an almost mournful expression taking over your face as your youth slipped away from you like a melody fading in the distance, your thoughts drifting away from you until you heard the car behind you beep as you hadn’t moved, the light now green. You apologised by raising your hand and swiftly driving, keeping your gaze focussed on the tarmac in front of you instead of the memories picking away at your thoughts, trying to stay concentrated on making your way to your new house.

The rest of the car ride passed by smoothly, your thoughts trained on the brief traffic surrounding you and the music softly spilling from your speakers until your new truck pulled up into a large driveway, your gaze taking in the house you had just bought. A small sense of hope and excitement bubbled inside you at the idea of a fresh start, at the fact you were home, a genuine smile stretching across your lips as Lucky’s tail starts to wag, ready to get out of the car and explore his new home.

You secured the car and opened the door, the golden retriever eagerly hopping out and sniffing around the grass nearby until he eventually followed you to the front door, your fingers digging through your pockets to find the key as you heard a few raised voices next door, your gaze briefly flicking over to your neighbours house and watching as a blonde man stormed his way out of the house, dressed up smartly and looking as though he was late for work. You were curious as to what had happened, your eyes watching his tense movements until it looked like his head was turning your way, your gaze snapping away immediately, not wanting to intrude. Instead of staring, you twisted the key in the door, deciding you would introduce yourself to them at a more suitable time as you let Lucky run into the house, his tail seeming to never stop wagging as he ventured across the house, the boxes in your car waiting to be unpacked.

***

A heavy breath left you as you carefully placed down another heavy box, your hands wiping away the sweat building on your forehead as you panted slightly, your eyes taking in the sea of cardboard boxes filling your living room, the occasional sound of Lucky’s squeaky toy filling the quiet house as he played in the other room. After bringing in another box filled with various items, you decided to take break, walking through to check on the bundle of fluff as he sat on the rug you had just set up, your eyes rolling as he had an expensive bed literally in the corner of the room to sit in before making your way through to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a drink to refresh yourself.

The cool water was pleasant as you sipped it, your feet naturally taking you to the window at the front of your house as you stared out into the neighbourhood, taking in the few houses you were near. You briefly tried to guess things about the people who lived in each house to pass the time, your gaze inevitably drawn back to the house with the arguing couple earlier, a puzzled expression taking over your face. You weren’t sure why you had this pull to them, why you were so desperate to know more about them, the curiosity eating away at you as you continued to stare for a moment, getting lost in your thoughts when some movement caught your attention, your hand placing down the water as you observed her.

Her auburn hair stood out to you, her slender fingers pushing back her locks tiredly as she locked her door, her face hidden away from you as she turned to walk down her drive, her body language clearly defeated. A small wave of sadness trickled down your spine at the woman’s despondent figure as she climbed into her car, waiting for a moment as she collected herself, clearly struggling with her home life before starting the car, something undecipherable clouding your thoughts as she drove away, almost leaving you feeling alone.

You sympathised for the mysterious woman before pushing away the strange sensation stirring in the pit of your stomach and the odd sense of familiarity she caused before deciding to take a longer break from unpacking and take Lucky for a walk, part of you wanting to see how much things had changed and admire places that were still the same, needing something to distract you from the image of your neighbour.

A nostalgic smile was engraved on your face for the next forty minutes as you strolled down street after street of your old home town, your eyes taking in the way old stores you would visit had changed or refurbished, your feet subconsciously taking you towards Natasha’s old house, knowing that Melina and Alexi still lived there. You smiled fondly at the familiar house, memories of how you would sneak in and out of the window at the back making you chuckle, the stupid rebellious things you and the redhead did without people knowing, always amusing to you. You continued down the street, going past the old hideouts you shared with Nat where you drank for the first time, smoked for the first time, got high for the first time, doing all sorts of things together before you had to leave. Your smile dropped a little as you remember how hard it was to leave her, the two of you staying in contact as much as possible but struggling to as life inevitably got in the way, responsibilities and adulthood taking precedence.

After exploring a little more, you started to head back home, taking the quicker route as the two of you were growing tired and eventually found yourselves back on your new street, watching mindlessly as a red car drove passed you, only concentrating on it once you saw it pull up into the drive next to you, your curiosity peaking.

The sight of two young brunette boys jumping out of the car made your brows raise a little, the way their wide grins and elated expressions were directed in your direction as you passed their drive, well, more Lucky’s direction as they ran down the path to say hello to the golden dog.

“Can we say hi?” One of the boys said, his tone polite but clearly laced with excitement at the presence of a dog, Lucky sitting down, body wiggling as his tail wagged, knowing he was about to be fussed about, his tongue hanging out his mouth almost comically as the boys grinned at him.

“Of course,” you say softly, crouching down next to Lucky and lowering yourself so you were at a closer level to the boys, smiling at them as your fingers ran through silky fur, “He’s extremely friendly.” At your words, the brown haired boy who asked you the question immediately reached out to pet Lucky, the other one clearly more timid as he slowly let his hand approach the golden tufts on the dog’s back, his smile tugging up that little bit wider at the soft feeling. You couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped you at the first boy gushing over Lucky, the boy’s hands squishing his face up adorably as he looked around as though he was in a dog’s version of heaven, the attention making his tail somehow wag even more as you watched tenderly at how the boys interacted with your pet.

“You’re just so cute,” he mumbles as his small fingers play with fur, your hand motioning for the boy to offer his hand out to Lucky, knowing he’d immediately offer him his paw to hold. “That’s so cool!” The boy continues as he shakes Lucky’s paw, his smile practically reaching his ears as excitement bubbles wildly inside him, his teeth on show as he grins, having fun until the sound of his mother interrupts the moment.

“Dorogies, come on, we need to go inside,” their mother shouts from the front door, stepping down the drive to find out what had distracted their boys so much, the corner of her lips lifting up at the sight of Tommy shaking the golden retrievers paw, Billy’s mouth stretched into an elated grin as they interacted with someone, her gaze eventually landing on who they were talking to.

Twelve years of sadness, longing, hope and hurt crashed down on Wanda at the sight of you, the whirlwind of emotions crashing through her almost stealing her breath away as her smile dropped, disbelief evident in her eyes along with a conflicted look, the expressive green unable to hide the confusion coursing through her. It couldn’t be you, you couldn’t be here. She had hoped for this moment for years, dreamt of being with you one more time and having love and affection wrap around her heart tenderly, but now that you were here, crouching at the end of her driveway and looking at her boys with a soft look, she desperately wished she’d never see you again. She couldn’t cope with this, the way you stirred up all those buried feelings again, the way you made those feelings real again. It was as though the emotions that tormented her for over the last decade were a mere ripple compared to the tidal wave that crashed down on her, the sight of you a constant reminder of everything that had happened, a reminder of everything she wasn’t supposed to want.

The guilt, the regret, and the heartbreak echoed around in her mind as she stared at you, a pained expression engraved on her face as she felt her throat tighten like it did all those years ago in the empty car park behind the convenience store. She didn’t want to relive it, she didn’t want the emotions that she let fester deep inside her flood through her, to make it impossible to do anything other that long for what she had in the past with you.

Why did you have to come back?

At the sound of an angelic voice, you lifted your gaze away from the two cheerful boys, tilting your head up to gaze at the woman who had captivated your attention since you arrived, the curious expression and playful smile on your lips washing away immediately at the sight of those green eyes you could never forget.

The world around you faded away, the chatter from the twins a distant murmur as your mouth parted in shock, the sight of a familiar but changed face staring back at you with an equally broken look stirring something deep within your gut as you kept your gaze locked on her eyes, the green still just as hypnotic as you remembered. Gazing into her eyes was enough to tear open the stitches on your heart you spent years trying to heal, your mind feeling overwhelmed as you didn’t know how to feel.

You wanted to feel happy, to smile at her as you had missed her. You’d missed staring into those captivating green, getting lost in each shade and swirl whilst feeling the smooth and soft strands of her hair between your fingertips as you played with them or tucked them behind her ear. You missed the way her smile and gentle laughter blessed your ears and eyes, the way such a simple movement stirred such joy from you, just being with her, just being able to admire her was enough for you. You missed her, fuck, you’d missed her from the moment you said goodbye.

Despite how you partly wanted to feel happy, you couldn’t, old wounds brutally resurfacing as your mind flashes back to the day everything around you fell apart, to when you had to stand and stare at the woman you loved and learn that she was too scared to ever love you, that she didn’t think you were worth the risk of loving. It tore you apart, it tore you apart then and it still does, the memory of the pain that seared your heart crawling down your spine as you offered her a look that conveyed every single emotion you felt.

Her expression only added to the hurt and agony wanting to drown you as she looked at you as if you were a ghost from her past coming back to haunt her, an old dirty secret nearly revealing itself. It broke you, to still feel like a secret as she looked to her boys, trying to keep her voice composed, to hide the tremble in her words as her gaze inevitably flickered back to you.

“We need to go inside now, Dorogie,” She mumbles to the twins, trying to quickly place a mask over her conflicted face before her children notice as well as trying to cover up the small glimmer of disappointment at the way their faces dropped at having to say goodbye to Lucky and yourself.

“Can’t we stay a few more minutes?” Tommy complained, hugging Lucky as to try and convince his mother to give into his wish to play longer, her eyes struggling to stay off you as your expression dropped, her pain evident on your face unlike hers.

“No Tommy, come on,” her voice holding no room for debate as a stern motherly tone tints her words, the twins swiftly saying goodbye to Lucky before waving goodbye to you, a small smile quickly lifting your lips for them before dropping, watching helplessly as she slowly starts to turn away from you, the boys running off into their house.

“Wanda,” you call out without even thinking, her name falling from your lips after all these years and odd sensation, your voice making her pause, turning briefly to look at you, your eyes seeing straight through the mask that was rapidly crumbling away before you.

“I’ve got to go now, I’m sorry,” is all she says before turning her back on you, your form standing at the end of her drive despondently as you watch her walk away from you, tears building in the corner of her eyes. Helplessly, you let the ache in your chest grow with each step she took, the pain amplifying as she shuts the door, trying to close herself off from you and the longing look in your eyes as you stand there, trying to repair your heart once more all alone.

[taestarii]

☼my cure - newt

[newt x reader]

synopsis - newt survives because my heart needed to be healed

warning! swearing, mention of newts accident, blood and knife use

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"You."

I could feel heavy blood running through my veins. This didn't feel like me, I felt… different. Loud thoughts clouded me like thick fog. I could feel my mind slipping away.

"Newt..?" Y/n's voice made me shiver. I had no control anymore, it took everything in me to not lunge at her. I never wanted to hurt her, I never did, but this wasn't me. I was something else, something uncontrollable.

"You're the cure. It's in your blood."

"Newt, what are you-?" I lost it.

I tackled her and her head slammed into the ground. Stop it! Stop hurting her! I knew what I was doing but I couldn't stop it. The virus took control and it knew she had the cure. It was like I was watching a horrible movie through my eyes, one where I hurt the love of my life.

She was the one good thing the creators ever sent up. I saw my fair share of slinthead greenies, but Y/n was something different. I was scared, and alone, until she came up. She was always there with me, even when I was stupid enough to try and take my own life by jumping off the Maze walls.

"newt," she tried to huff through my hands gripping her throat. That's when I realized there was a knife in my hand. I already knew what the virus was planning to do.

I fought with everything I could but I wasn't strong enough. I needed to take control, I needed to take control and get through to Y/n. It felt like I was ripping through my own mind as I pushed, and I pushed. I knew I was there, I could feel-

- "Well hello, greenie." I greeted a very timid girl, huddled in the corner of the Box. "What the fuck is a greenie?" She shot back. That received a lot of laughs and snickers from the other guys. We only had a handful of people in the glade so far, a greenie monthly and we only had about seven, now eight. "Where am I?"

"Welcome to the glade, greenie! I'm Newt, and up there is the first in command, Nick. And second in command, Alby." The two boys waved from the top as she stood on a box and looked out. "What the hell are those walls?" She asked, lifting herself out. "Why am I here? Why can't I remember anything?"

"Slow down, greenie. I know you have a lot of questions, but we only have limited answers. Your name should come back to you in a little wh-"

"Y/n."

-

"y/n," I whimpered out.

"It's me, Newt." She whispered, tears filling her eyes. "I'm right here." She cupped her face around my cheeks. I knew I didn't have enough time, I needed to get my point out now.

"Kill me."

"What..?"

I shoved the knife into her hands. "Kill me now!" I yelled. She flinched, the knife clutched in her shaky hands. "If you've ever loved me you'll kill me now, Y/n. You'll kill me before I turn into one of them." Tears ran down her cheeks as she sobbed. "Of course I fucking love you, Newt! I have since the glade. You're my everything.“ My tears mixed with the rain as I coughed up a heavy amount of blood. I was losing it, she needed to do it now.

"I love you so much, Y/n. That's why I need you to kill me, now. PLEASE FUCKING KILL ME."

Something snapped. The virus took over and I lost control as I jumped on her and tried to take the knife. Stumbling back on to the floor, we wrestled with the knife. The virus was trying to kill her for her blood, but I needed her to be alive. She had so much life left to live.

She screamed out in pain, the knife had gashed her in her stomach. It took everything she had to flip herself over on top, still crying out in agony. Her wound bled out everywhere as I fought for control of the knife, I kicked and screamed, grabbing the knife and her hands trying to desperately flip it around on her.

…

Suddenly the world came to a standstill. She did it, she plunged the knife into my chest. I fell back onto the ground behind me as Thomas and Minho came running over, grabbing her as she desperately kicked and punched. The last thing I heard was her screaming my name.

"I love you."

-

"Hey, can we talk?" I walked over to Y/n, my long time best friend. It took me a lot of courage to walk over to her, I didn't know how she was going to take this considering she's probably the most sporadic, unpredictable person I know.

But she's brave when I'm scared, she's hot-headed when I'm calm and maybe that's what I love about her. She's everything that keeps me even and she means everything to me. Today's the day I decided I'll tell her how I feel.

"Of course! Have a seat." She said, patting the ground next to her. I sat down and plopped back on the thick tree stump with a heavy exhale. "You alrighty, Newtie?“ You asked with a laugh. God, he thought you were beautiful. Everything from your laugh tho your hair, to how you yelled at the boys to keep then in line. It was like you kept the whole glade together.

"I wanted to tell you something, something I've had on my mind for a while." She turned and looked at me questioningly. "I've felt something more towards you, like there was something else I felt towards you other than friendship. I value you more than anyone in this glade but I also deeply admire you. Your beauty, how you're so eager to help out, how you always compliment Fry's mediocre cooking without fail." She let out a laugh as her cheeks flushed. "Are you trying to say you like me?"

I stumbled trying to find the right words when I suppose a yes would have done fine. She leaned in and brushed her hand across my cheek before her lips met mine. I completely froze, and she pulled away when she realized I wasn't kissing back.

"I'm so sorry, I thou-"

I wrapped my hands around the back of her neck and pulled her in for another kiss, this time deeper, more meaningful.

-

"Wake up!" A tall, big man in full armor shouted at me over the loud horn of a..

boat?

"Where the bloody hell am I?" I said, trying to sit up and immediately doubling over from the pain in my chest. "What the-?"

"Man, your lucky we got there when we did, you were bleeding out like crazy, can't believe that knife missed your heart." Oh no. Oh no no no no. I can't be here, I need to leave before-

I lifted up my shirtsleeve to find nothing on my arm, no virus in my veins. How is this even possible?

The events of that day flooded back to me, that one line repeating over and over again.

"You're the cure. It's in your blood."

During the fight her blood entered my bloodstream, the blood that would cure me. It's because of her, the girl I begged to kill me that night was the reason I'm still standing.

"Welcome to Paradise." I looked over from the edge of the boat to see a beautiful island. Sure it wasn't much, but there was people everywhere, some laughing and dancing, some getting food, and some making a bonfire. I prayed that Y/n had made it here, if anything she deserved to be here and not me.

"Do you know if a Y/n got here?" He thought about it for a moment. "Nah man, sorry. I don't know much about the people here. But what I do know, is that you're very lucky to be here. We found you half cranked out in the middle of the city, so if it wasn't for my crew I would have left your sorry ass."

The boat docked and the first thing on my mind was to find Y/n. If there was one thing I knew, it was that I desperately needed a shower. My tour guide took me to a disinfectant room, he gave me a change and I showered, probably the best treatment I've had in a very long time.

The sun never really showed since I got here, the island in a constant gray haze. I got led around to get a feel for the island, but everything felt unfamiliar, from the island down to the people. I passed dozens of faces, each either looked at me like there was sometimes wrong with me, or glanced and moved on. I prayed to see a familiar face. I prayed to see her face.

"Newt?"

I whipped my head around.

"Y/n?" My heart dropped. The memories from that night flooded in. Her tear covered face flashed my memory as she plunged that knife into my chest. How could she ever forgive me for what I did to her that night? I took a step forward and she staggered back.

"Is it really you?" Her voice was small, tears started filling her eyes. I nodded, tears filling my own as she ran into my arms. "I can't believe it's you!" She sobbed into my chest, being careful to avoid my injury. She pulled away and looked into my eyes. "How is this even possible?" She sniffled.

"You, love. You were my cure."

---

hope you enjoyed my first newt fic! little angsty but it all works out

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[badwer]

You woke up. Eyes slowly taking in the dim light coming from the window. The room became clearer at every blink of the eye, regaining conscience little by little.

You lingered in your sleeping position a bit longer before starting the day. As you took a deep breath to stretch your body out, you acknowledged the presence of an arm resting on your waist. A familiar hand on your belly blocked you from moving any further. Your heart started pounding in your ears and panic took over you. It’d been four days of sleeping alone in the bed you shared with Joel and it’d been four days since he decided to disappear. You turned your head to the side and met Joel’s eyes observing you. You were so struck by the vision that you thought you were still dreaming. But as soon as realisation hit you, you felt an involuntary scowl grow on your face. You quickly got up and run to the door without saying a thing. You were mad at him for leaving just after telling him you were expecting his child.

Despite rushing to the door, he was faster than you and swiftly reached you in no time. He held your wrist tight and blocked you from turning the door handle. His body, now towering on yours, kept you from escaping from the confrontation he probably wanted. Joel’s sudden behaviour after being long gone made your blood boil even more to the point you couldn’t even look at him in the face anymore. So you stood there, giving him your back, stuck between the closed door and him.

“My love…” you hear him whisper to your ear.

“You are such an asshole, Joel...” you interrupted any kind of excuse he could come up with. “…why did you even come back, huh? You could have disappeared forever, it would have made much more sense and it would have spared me more pain…” you continued, determined to let out all the pent-up things you wanted to say to him in the past days spent alone in your home.

Silence was his response. Tears began to fill in your waterline until you couldn’t see properly. A sigh came out of him, followed by the touch of his forehead on the back of your right shoulder. It took a minute, probably to gather the calm with which Joel usually faced arguments, but eventually he spoke.

“I’m sorry. For all of it” his apologies hurt you even more because you wanted to believe his words, but you couldn’t.

“That’s it? Joel, I thought you weren’t coming back ever again. I thought I lost you and I blamed myself for it…” as words spilled from your mouth, you felt his hand loosen his grip on your wrist and slowly glide over your skin.

“…I was even willing to-“ then you stopped. You realised that what you were about to tell him sounded heavier now that you put it into words than when it was just a thought in your head.

“What?”

Tension filled the room. Suddenly a lump formed in your throat and kept you from answering.

“What were you saying?…baby, answer me…”

You finally turned to face him. A mixture of fear and concern could be read in his expression. Your breath became quicker, your palms sweaty.

You have always been scared of bringing her up, bringing Sarah up. Every time the conversation seemed to shift towards her late daughter panic assaulted you and you tried your very best to avoid the subject, not really knowing how Joel could take it. That type of wound could never heal and it broke your heart to think that he was still grieving, deep down his tough skin.

“Joel-…I know you are still hurt from your past, with Sarah and…” voice came out unsteady. Tears rolled down your cheeks and the fear of his reaction grew somewhere in your stomach. You felt sick for a moment and took a deep breath, but eventually you built up the courage to continue. “…I thought I could interrupt the pregnancy to spare you any more trauma.” It costed you so much to say it because you knew this was not what you really wanted. You were younger than him and this would have been your first child. However, the sole thought of doing it all alone kept you up at night.

Your gaze dropped to the floor, so afraid and ashamed of what you’d said. You were sure time had stopped for a moment because nothing happened for a good minute. Not a move, not a sound. Suddenly, his hand reached yours and he guided you to the bed where he sat down at its rim. He silently looked up at you, still holding your hand and you waited for him to say something. With a sigh he started.

“When I was told we were expecting Sarah I was just as afraid. The only difference between then and now is that I was way younger and inexperienced and that was why I was afraid. When-“ he cleared his throat and adjusted his posture, straightening his back.

“When I lost Sarah, I lost my hope as well. I had dedicated most of my life to raising her, to being her dad and after she died I felt useless. I felt like I had achieved nothing…”

“I am scared now and that’s why I was gone for a while. But this time something is different. I’m way older and I know what to expect. And I want that, I want to be a dad again. That’s the part that I miss everyday. I have thought about this in the last four days and I’m sorry if it was so sudden, I’m an idiot for that. It really caught me off guard. But I needed some time to think.”

You felt relieved hearing those words. He finally opened up with you about this part of him for the first time. But you were even happier to hear him say that he wanted to be the father of the baby you carried inside.

He left you speechless. You let silence fill the room as you looked down at him not really knowing what to say. All you did was let your tears free to stream your face.

Joel brought both of your hands to his mouth and softly kissed them. His hot breath on your skin sent shivers down your body. Then he hugged your body, head laying on your stomach as your arms clung to each other. You let a hand roam through his hair as butterflies filled your guts. Then you let your body fall into his lap, curling up in his big arms and breathing in his familiar heady scent you missed so painfully. His lips kissed the crook of your neck as you fingers stroked the hair at the nape of his.

“Don’t ever do that again…leave me…” you whispered in his ear, head resting on his shoulder.

His head turned to the side and kissed your cheek. You felt his fingers on your chin, guiding your face on him. He then locked his eyes into yours and said “I promise”.

[neteyamslovrr]

RETURN - PT 1

summary: five years ago he left you. left you alone with nothing but memories of your love. so how dare he come back now?

contents: 1.5k words, fem!omaticaya reader, angst, swearing

authors note: AHHHH first chapter i'm so excited to post this guys!! thankuu to all my mooties that helped me brew this series

next

Nothing could ever surmount to the despair you felt that day. The day he looked into your weeping eyes, looked right into your aching soul, and told you he was leaving.

Leaving. You begged him to take you with him. Pleaded with his pained expression to let you stay with him. To take you with him. To walk every journey together.

But he didn’t. He shook his head, pursing his lips that have kissed you for the last time. Crossing his arms that embraced you for the last time. He said no. One simple word that crushed your entire self.

“It won’t be safe, I can’t take you from the forest, this is your home.” No. No he was your home! He was your everything. The last face you look at when you say goodnight to the day left behind you. The one you would run to, so you could tell him everything good and bad. The man you imagined your entire life to be with.

That same man who was running from his home, to never return back to you.

You pleaded with him, crashing onto your knees, wrapping your arms around his torso. Crying into him as you begged to accompany him. How could he leave you? How could he have the heart to tear out yours.

“Y/N…let go.” His deep voice ring deep in your ears. You knew he was talking about your physical grip on him. But it felt so much deeper. Let go. Let go of us. Let go of everything we ever were. Let go of me.

You shook your head desperately, hands still clinging to his body. The rough soil beneath you cutting into your knees but no cut would ever be as deep as the one he had laid into your soul.

It was as if the hands he took to pry your frail body off him were the daggers that were slicing up your heart. Leaving wounds so deep they would never heal. How could you ever heal from this?

You looked up at him, tears letting his cheeks dampen, his face showing nothing but grief as he met your hurt eyes.

“I have to go…Y/N you know I have to.” You did. You knew you had no say in this. Your words were insignificant to begin with.

His figure crouched down in front of you. Wiping the salty tears that stained your cheeks. He saw the way your chin quivered as he caressed your beautiful face.

A salty, sweet kiss was the last one you ever shared with him. A kiss you both cried into, gripping onto each other knowing it was the last time. It was bittersweet. To share a moment so close together only to be ripped apart.

All that connected you both was memories. Memories that now serve you nothing but hurt.

Five years had passed. Five dreadful years.

You were now a 20 year old woman. Adorned with your bow and the physique of a fit warrior. Though no amount of time could ever heal the cuts he left so deep in you.

For the first year, you were nothing but a shell. Never eating, never sleeping. You simply existed. Which was a chore to do without him.

You wished nothing but to stop existing. To stop experiencing every bit of sadness, every bit of grief. To stop mourning the loss of the only man you could ever love.

Tears were your most worn accessory, no one ever daring to tell you they looked bad. Too scared to send you spiralling even more than you already had.

Though, those times you spent rocking in your hammock. Looking at the stars that lit up the night sky, those cuts that ran deep within you, the cuts that caused so pain. They started to seep.

Started to seep blood red rage.

How could he ever have left you? Was he so selfish to not think of the effect this would have on you? Did he simply not care?

How was the one time he decided to act selfishly be the time wounded the one who loved him most? To be so selfish, to claim he would be keeping you safe.

Safe to what? The sky-people that reigned free through your planet. Constantly on the verge of war to aliens that had no consideration for your people. Just like he had no consideration for your heart.

You wanted to hate him. You wanted to hate him so bad, that every memory of him would fade into a blood red image of evil. That every memory would turn into a disgusting thought of a disgusting man.

You wanted to hate him with every fibre in your body. But you couldn’t.

Maybe that’s when everything stopped looking so blood red. When everything dulled out. Nothing mattered, he would never come back.

So with a tainted heart and an aching soul, you accepted that you would never experience the love of your mate every again. Never feel his touch, hear his voice, smell his scent, taste his kisses. You would never be with him.

That’s were Va’tep entered into your life. Barging into your knocked down walls and building a crappy foundation.

Va’tep, Tarsem’s younger brother. One year your elder. A fierce warrior, a man who refused to lose, a man who claimed what was his. And to him, you were his.

Your parents always longed for status. To be high up in the clan. You were their golden ticket, finding your way into the heart of Toruk Makto’s eldest son. They rejoiced in your heart’s residence, rejoiced in the fact that you fulfilled their one wish. They were your number one advocate. Pushing you to train for your rite of passage ever since you became closer with the boy. They worked every inch of their being towards the union between the pair of you.

But the hard work washed away as fast as the waterfall plunged.

Washing away all your dreams, your happiness, your meaning. It washed away your parent’s status, Va’tep being the life guard that pulls them out of the strong currents.

Nothing could ever amount to him though. Your heart resided with someone else as your body laid with his. You felt yourself fill with shame every time you shared a touch. A shiver of disgust running down your entire body. Breaking the vow of your love towards the boy who broke you.

“Where’s your head at beautiful?” That was what he called you. Beautiful. His voice would never be as sweet as his. Never send the right shivers through you.

Va’tep’s calloused hands caressed your cheek, so rough it felt as if he was dragging you with his touch. Everything he did was rough. Rough like the soil you pleaded on.

Maybe this was Eywa laughing in your face. Giving you a man so opposite to the man you craved so desperately. Even after 5 years, Eywa would never let you forget those memories.

Shrugging his hands off your body, he let out a low hiss. One that showed his offence towards your actions. A hiss so quiet, it would only be heard if you cared. But you didn’t. Something else was clouding your mind, taking your attention away from him. And it wasn’t just your past lover.

You made your way towards the growing crowd of people that formed around the entrance of High Camp. Va’tep’s calls after you were silenced by the gasps and whispers of your people that were creating confusion that bubbled in your stomach.

Pushing yourself to the front of the crowd, definitely stepping on the feet of others. You looked for the source of the commotion. Ears perking up and eyes squinting to find the one thing people were gawking at.

Though now as you look towards the source, you wish you minded your business. Everything was coming back. Every emotion, every curse, every thought, every tear. They all fell on top of you, crushing your soul as you let out a small whimper in fear.

The source was making its way towards you. No. No. NO. This can’t happen. This cannot be happening. Feet stumbling as you paced backwards, avoiding looking straight ahead.

Dread filled your entire being. Filling it from your toes until it felt as if it would spill out of you, gurgling in the pits of your stomach. No. No. NO.

Crashing into the back of a person, you were forced to halt your escape. Frozen in shock as you looked at the man who had broken your heart and given it back to you.

Lips quivering, tears pooling in your eyes. He reached his hands towards you. How could he come back? Why was he back? This is all some sort of sick dream. A nightmare.

“My beautiful girl.” His voice was deeper, still so sweet it would cause a cavity. It enticed you. You had been without his voice for so long.

So long…because he left you. Because he was cruel and selfish.

Shaking your head profusely, just like you did that dreaded day. Your hands shook as you pointed at him, an accusatory finger aimed at him as your mind swirled.

“I’m here now.” He should have never left, he should have NEVER left. What a sick fuck. To come back expecting open arms when all you wanted was to never have your arms leave him. “Beautiful? What is it?”

“I am not your beautiful, Neteyam.”

tags: @8resa @ilovejakesullysdick @neteyamsblog @live-laugh-neteyam @reyalvr @trashfox @darkacademictrash @scntfrhs @dreamyescapesfromreality @fanboyluvr @neteyamzmate @oceanstar19 @sharkybabe9

thankyou sm for reading lovelies!! reblogs + replies sososososo appreciated ilysm ily ily

[stargirl-writes]

denial

pairing : force healer jedi! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 1.5k

masterlist

summary

anakin skywalker confessed his love for you. except, you turned him down, reminding yourself of your duty to the jedi. weeks would have passed and you're reaching a breaking point where you can no longer deny how you felt about him.

tags : angst, mutual pining, fluff towards the end,

warnings : pretty much just denial of how reader feels, and angst with a happy ending (!)

notes : hi lovely people! this is the first thing i'll post under this blog! thank u for taking interest in my little imagine, i hope you like it!

likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated !

It has been a few weeks since Anakin Skywalker told you he loved you. For a moment, the cruelest thing to do seemed like the sweetest thing he could say.

For you both know that the Jedi Council will forbid you to delight in this feeling.

No attachments, live to serve the good, clear lines. No devotions.

You didn't understand how loving someone can be so corrupting, after all, the Jedi Code taught you compassion for all things. That in itself is an act of love. Living so detached from things just makes it all feel... meaningless.

Why hurt for love? Why hurt for not loving?

But now, ever since Anakin told you he wanted you, you are held by a ravenous grip that left you feeling breathless. Suffocated.

Because the truth was simple: You wanted to hoard Anakin in your heart and keep him there. You wanted Anakin.

Of course, you didn't mean it. Anakin Skywalker is the only one who truly knew you. He shredded down your walls to find you where you're most vulnerable and loved you anyway. He wasn't scared of the things about you he didn't understand. Things you, too, find difficult to accept.

But caught by the abruptness, you could only tell him "We can't" before storming out of the room that one night.

You were perplexed, because for the longest time you have resigned yourself to the idea that you were the only one feeling it.

And now he says he loves you. All along.

He loved you.

He loved you despite, despite, despite...

And you turned him down.

Because you can't....

You were bound by duty first. And your duty is to serve the Republic. You can't have Anakin, not if he is supposed to be the chosen one.

You still cried in your sleep; angry and tremendously sorry you turned the closest thing to love away.

You can't take the Republic's only chance of surviving this war. He was meant for something larger than you are. Larger than both of you. You understood this, but it didn't really make it hurt any less.

It fell into this odd... silence between both of you.

You'd catch yourself looking for him in every room you find yourself in. A force of habit. His force signature used to be a warm beacon of light to anchor you, now every time you sense Anakin, your heart aches.

Haunted by the images in your mind of what could be if you allowed him to love you. Terrified that you've allowed yourself to want to share a lifetime with him.

You can't. You wouldn't.

You shuffle in your bed, unable to find a spot so you can comfortably rest. You were becoming more frustrated, for your mind just won't turn itself off.

You grabbed your robe and pulled your hair away from your face, tying it back.

With a sigh, you sit up. It would be futile to attempt any sleep, dawn was already breaking from the windows of the Jedi Temple.

Force healing is something that not every Jedi practices, for it requires a deeper state of discipline and precision. Besides, there are medical droids that can take care of the wounded.

The council had briefed you on your mission for today, you're stationed at the med-bay to overlook the casualties after the recent attack on Kamino.

You valued healing; no matter how forgotten it may have been for the Jedi Order. So, this mission is equally important to you as fighting in the front lines.

The halls of the temple were still quiet, deep in sleep. You wander around, not really knowing where to head.

You hear a shuffle from behind, and instinctively, you turn.

You halt at a balcony— entranced by the rising sun. You breathed deep, wondering when all became so complicated.

A pair of blue eyes meet your doe-eyed gaze. You surveyed him, he looked like he just came from battle, his robes were covered in dust, and his eyes were glossy as if he had been awake for some time, too.

"Anakin" you breathed out, realizing it had been the first time you addressed him after the night he confessed.

"[Name]" He answers, sounding tired.

Your heart thumps, unsure, and half-terrified that if he calls your name again, you might fall to pieces.

"How did the mission on Kamino go?" You say, trying to find any topic other than—

Anakin steps forward, leaning against the balcony. You hold your breath. Being so close to him felt like all air vanishes.

"It went alright" Anakin answers, his gaze falling into the horizon.

Your eyes trail on his arm, noticing the dried blood, a gash maybe, you step forward, wanting to get a closer look, your healing instincts telling you something was off.

"You're hurt" You say, your hand carefully moving his robe.

Anakin sharply turns at your touch. Then his eyes bore into yours. You lifted your fingers, realizing you may have startled him.

Anakin always had you. Part of the reason you were persistent in learning healing. Because the anxiety of him hurting never settled, and you wanted to be equipped to take care of him.

"Let me do this, it won't take long" You insisted, because you knew Anakin too well, and he'd not get it checked until someone else forces him to sit down at the med-bay.

The wound started closing and after a moment, it was like it wasn't there in the first place.

Anakin nods, his eyes never leave yours.

You felt it, a ripple through the force. A very specific frequency. A jedi might mistake his hurt as that of a physical one. But you have memorized him too much to read through his pretenses.

The wounds hurt, yes. But he is carrying a lot more pain than he lets on.

So, you continued. Your fingers graze over his skin, channelling the force, willing it to heal the gash.

You withdrew your touch. The silence lingered. It's a silence that makes you feel mad, because it feels like this is how it'll always be for you and Anakin now. Delicately dancing around the elephant in the room.

The silence amplified the voice screaming in your heart.

You may as well just say it out loud because your force signature is latched with it. It involuntarily pours your heart out.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

"Anakin" you began, your lips opening and closing unable to find words to express how you felt.

He turns his head, standing straight, he had an expression you recognized. Some sort of braceness, like he was already anticipating for you to break his heart again.

"I'm sorry" was all you could say.

Even if you would've ran away with him if he asked you to.

Clear lines. No attachments. You'd cross them all if he asked you to.

This was the right thing to do, you think...

"Don't" Anakin shakes his head "Don't... I know you don't mean it" His eyes fall to his feet.

"No, I do" You answer swiftly— no longer able to deny how much it had hurted you too.

You felt tears threatening to cascade down your face. You've heard it said that love turns people soft, but you have never felt more broken now that you have loved something you can't have.

"Anakin, when I said we can't, it's because I can't take you for myself. You're meant for larger things. Only with the Jedi can you fulfill your destiny" You rambled, verbalizing the thoughts you convinced yourself to believe in at night.

Anakin's eyebrows furrowed, but you continued "It doesn't mean I didn't, that I don't—" You halted, your heart and mind tearing you apart.

"[Name]" he calls, "You are no small thing in my life" He tucks a loose strand of hair to your ear.

"I meant it when I told you I love you." His palm presses on your cheeks.

You thought you could crumble beneath his touch.

These weeks, the small amount of time you spent trying to convince yourself that his feelings will eventually pass, never faltered the way how you felt. His absence felt like half of you was missing. And now, he was here, insisting softly.

You can't hold it in anymore.

So, in the absence of words, you pressed your lips against his— slowly, gently, slipping into the intimacy you only ever shared with him.

I love you.

You say between the kisses, hoping it'd suffice for you can't quite bring yourself to say it just yet.

Nothing in the world belonged to you, just this love you were overpouring with. And this kiss— it felt like the beginning of something eternal.

Whatever that may be.

© to @cafekitsune the dividers!

[tryingtofindava]

pls im begging for dating ticci toby headcanons 🙏🙏

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ‘𝐓𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢’ 𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄

tw: mention of manic episode.

: ̗̀➛ Back to source

My god.

This boy is full of so much love.

Y’all take FOREVER to actually get together.

It got to the point where Toby got frustrated and was all like “should I just kill them?” (Assuming you ain’t a proxy)

What I’m tryna say is he’s sorta oblivious to his feelings towards you.

But he’s so scared to get attached to you, cuz every time he’s ever gotten close to someone they die.

But when y’all (finally) get together after a long ahh slow burn.

YOU TWO ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST OMD.

He was so surprised that you said yes when he asked you out. Like- you? The pretty girl who he had the the pleasure of becoming friends with???? Says yes to him????

He’s so happy

Buttttttttttttttt.

So awkward it’s almost painful.

Onetime you kissed him on his cheek, bro was all like ‘🧍’

But when you guys get past that awkward stage? You guys are practically attached to the hip.

And I know most of the fandom hates the ‘soft Toby’ stereotype, but I feel like that’s just how he is w you (though he does have his moments…)

Lots of reassurance. It’s needed if y’all wanna last.

He isn’t used to have someone be so affectionate towards him. Since deadass the only person who’s showed him genuine love was Lyra.

When y’all first met, he’d always wear a massive ass bandage over the gash on his cheek.

Every time you saw it you gave him the ‘🤨’ look, which he’s just shrug it off. And when you’d ask him about it, he’d say something like:

“It’s ruh-rude to ask t-that.”

He’d even continue wearing it INTO your dating life, he’ll eventually cave in since it’s been around 8 months of him wearing it around you. And a wound would normally be healed by now.

He wasn’t at all surprised by your reaction of shock.

He’ll always have it on out of the apartment though. No exceptions.

He calls you ‘pretty thing’ sm it becomes a tic.

Eskimo kisses? Eskimo kisses.

He try’s his best to keep the whole murder part of his life away from you. But it’s obvious so… that was one long night of going over things.

Anywaysssss.

AQUARIUM DATES! Y’all get in your grandpa jumpers and walk around the aquarium holding hands and looking at all the cool fish n’ shit.

HE LOVES LOVES LOVES NECK KISSES.

He’s a slut for knowing he’s yours.

He loves teasing the shit outta you for being short. Even though he’s like 3 inches taller

“I’ve been b-breaking my buh-back k-k-kissing you, babe.”

“Piss off.”

He loves laying between your legs with his face flushed against your chest while you run your fingers through his hair and itch his scalp.

When you guys are sleeping, you’ll constantly have to make sure he doesn’t get too over headed or cold due to his CIPA.

Speaking of sleeping, he grinds his teeth while he’s dreaming. So just gently grab his chin to stop him. And he’s a deep ass sleeper so he won’t feel it lol.

He isn’t a big fan of PDA when you guys aren’t behind closed doors, but he’ll ALWAYS hold your hand.

On the less sappy note, when he’s having a tic attack he will not allow you to come near him. He’s so scared of hurting you.

And when he’s having an episode?

Make sure you stay calm. And maybe get to him before he gets to you. He’ll be so upset if he did hurt you while going through one of his schizophrenic like states.

To help him through his manic episode, stay as calm as you can, let him know that, although you don’t share the belief that it’s real, you understand that it is real to him. Try and keep focused on supporting him with how he’s feeling in that moment, rather than confirming or challenging his reality.

If he does snap at you, he’ll feel so guilty. He will think that he’s just like his dad.

He’ll probably disappear for a few days, but when he comes back he’s begging for you to not leave him. Like he’s full on sobbing.

Hold him.

He’s clingy. Like super clingy. Clingy to the point where it just becomes obnoxious. And gets a bit irritating but he means well :(

He loves you like a dog, and he’ll do anything for you. He trusts you with his whole being and hopes you feel the same.

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•