#Sexologist in Victoria

[sandwichsugarbong]

While there isn't a single definitive "first record" of a transgender person, various historical accounts and cultural practices provide insight into the existence of transgender individuals throughout history.

One notable example is Elagabalus, who reigned as Roman emperor from 218 to 222 AD. Elagabalus was known for defying traditional gender roles and norms, reportedly expressing a desire to be referred to and treated as a woman. Historical accounts describe Elagabalus dressing in women's clothing, wearing makeup, and even marrying men.

Beyond Elagabalus, various cultures throughout history have recognized and accepted individuals who do not conform to traditional gender roles or binary notions of gender. For example, many Indigenous cultures around the world have long recognized the existence of Two-Spirit people, who embody both masculine and feminine qualities and often hold special spiritual or societal roles within their communities.

One notable figure from around the Nazi era who is sometimes discussed in the context of transgender history is Lili Elbe. Lili Elbe was a Danish transgender woman who was one of the earliest recipients of sex reassignment surgery. Born as Einar Magnus Andreas Wegener, she underwent a series of gender-affirming surgeries in the early 1930s under the care of pioneering sexologist Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld in Berlin, Germany.

Another notable figure who has been identified as a transgender man from around the Nazi era is Karl M. Baer. Born in Germany in 1885, Baer is believed to have undergone a hysterectomy and legally changed his name to Karl in the 1920s. Baer was a writer and editor who contributed to various publications.

Some reputable sources for transgender history include:"Transgender History" by Susan Stryker"Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman" by Leslie FeinbergJSTOR and Google Scholar for academic articles on transgender historyWebsites of LGBTQ+ history organizations and archives, such as the GLBT Historical Society and the Transgender Archives at the University of Victoria.

These resources can provide a more comprehensive understanding of the historical record of transgender individuals and the complexities of gender identity throughout history.

Being transgender is nothing new. Trans people have always existed and will continue to do so. Die mad about it.

[bending-sickle]

"Kinsey researched more than eighteen thousand men and women on their sexual behavior and found that even during that sexually conservative era, many Americans were actually having sexual experiences that sharply contrasted with publicly held norms."

he interviewed them, he did not research them.

"...Kinsey concluded that most adults harbor some bisexual impulses."

and that's that on that issue, apparently. word of god and all that?

not like his data collection and analysis wasn't absolutely rife with controversy. (like...just..wow. it's a mess.)

i mean if vicki is such an ~obsessive researcher~, we could have maybe something more than just the one research institute's results from the 40s and 50s?

also miffed at "—American sexologist Alfred Kinsey" like oh okay thanks for telling us he's american, that was apparently important information. and only important here because it sure isn't being given about other people quoted in the book. so like...are we being paid by the word or...?

- Chapter 5: Discovering the Inner Queer, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three (2007) by Victoria (Vicki) Vantoch

[aissm]

The Australian Institute of Sexology and Sexual Medicine (AISSM) is a progressive psycho-sexology clinic that is passionate about creating healthy, strong and safe sexual lives

[loudestcloud]

"Both times Misha Collins has came out as an LGBTQ+ Identity, it has been at Supernatural conversations and then never mentioned again"

When was the first time? What did he say? (I just watched supernatural recently so idk)

The first time was when he came out as Polyamorous in 2015 at NJcon! You can hear it here at the timestamp 2:43 ( my phone won't let me time link) 🥰

Additionallt, while this could be written off as a joke, Misha doesn't really joke about his self identity. Plus, his now ex partner, Victoria Vantoch, is a journalist and sexologist that had wrote and published a book in 2007 called 'The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three' and as far as I have been told, she doesn't mention Misha by name but they had been married 2001 - 2021 so it's safe to assume he wasn't joking at that con.

[sexstories-101]

5 Ways to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex With You - Fox on Sex

Stop whining and fussing for a second and listen up: If you want more wife sex, you must mature and accept that people change, relationships change, and your sex life does not remain constant.

As a sexologist, relationship expert, and contributor to Good in Bed, I'm frequently asked, "How can I convince my wife to have more sex with me?" I also happen to be a wife and mother of two small children, so I'll tell you the truth. Here's my tip for getting some tonight without messing things up:

1. Snuggle rather than grope. You're in a mood, so you reach out and grab our breasts, buttocks, or genitals. Guys, believe me when I say that this is the most serious sin you can commit when attempting to seduce a lady. It will not make us go into an ecstatic trance. (And, hey, if it does, you don't need my help, do you?) Neither will they be groping us in the kitchen while we unload the dishes.

These inadequate moves do not irritate us; rather, they irritate us. Try embracing or kissing someone. Hold our hand and squeeze it. You must empty the dishwasher. Women want to feel linked to their spouses in ways that aren't always sexual.

As guys, you see something sexy and you're instantly in the mood for sex and ready to go. You pick up the mail, there's Victoria's Secret catalog in the box, and before we know it, you're sniffing in our direction like a puppy looking for a reward. Women, on the other hand, do not work in this manner. We may see something sexy, and it could even be you, but we don't suddenly want to have sex. Men and women vary in this regard: you must truly put us in the mood. You must make us feel sexy and want to be sexual.

Here's a hint: Did you know that hugging your lover for 30 seconds raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel caring and connected and aids in mood regulation. So let's start with an embrace.

2. Please don't treat us like pornstars. You can't treat us like a 30-second money shot just because you can pay to watch a lady with false boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting dude. Women are drawn to seduction. We yearn for pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sensual, not like some mediocre pornographic production. I'm not saying you won't receive those occasional surprises, but you'll have to work for them. Fortunately, the brain is our most powerful sex organ, and most women have fantasies that rival your porn sites. One of the reasons why women aren't more interested in porn? Because almost all of it is created by and for males who have no idea what truly turns a woman on. Do you want to know what gets us going? Inquire, and we will respond. That brings me to...

2. Do Good to Others. Do you want hot sex? You must supply us with the type of sex we desire. Simply, you must give as much as you receive. Do I have to explain it to you? You must use your mouth if you want us to use ours! And what happens if you do it first? That's all right. Most women get the most out of clitoral stimulation.

4. Allow Us Some Room. Allowing your girlfriend some alone time may seem paradoxical, but it can help her refresh. Offer to keep the kids for a few hours so she can go out for coffee with a friend, read a book at the beach, or relax in a bubble bath. This "time off" allows her to relax so that she will be ready to heat up later. By the way, watching your children is not the same as "babysitting." They're your children, so treat them with respect. Be a father rather than a bachelor. Remember, many of us find nothing hotter than a father who is into his children.

5. Talk—and then listen. I understand that many of you would rather clean the toilet than be compelled to "connect," but I'm not asking for an hour-long heart-to-heart here. Spending 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to what she has to say can make her feel valued. Avoid difficult topics such as your children, work, and home, and instead, focus on wider problems such as current events and the world around you. Respond in meaningful phrases rather than grunts. She'll be impressed if you can remember and repeat anything she said 12 hours later—and you'll be one step closer to sex.

  If you are looking for motivation to enhance your sexual drive.

Kindly visit https://porno19.com/ a Vietnam porn website about wife sex movies

[ohblackdiamond]

further explanation to my preference behind the cut because i can’t manage to be pithy about it

i’m taking alternate universe to mean non-rl compliant in a major way (i.e., making kiss a 2000′s era emo band, or “gene simmons, a.k.a. doctor love, is a sexologist who just opened up shop. paul stanley, frustrated, repressed college dropout, drops in to get some tips on getting laid and ends up with a lot more”). i’m not taking alternate universe to mean something akin to “we’re setting this in insertyearhere, just please ignore for the sake of the fic that paul was actually dating victoria medlin georgeanne la pierre  donna dixon samantha fox gene simmons during this timeframe.”

kiss has a lot of inherent wiggle room because of the comic books/movies. you can have your cake and eat it, too, if by cake you mean rockstars-who-are-superheroes. there’s even the built-in option to lean more heavily on the persona aspect, for people that’re more comfortable with that. so i like those a lot and have written a couple.

i’m not too fond of more everyday life aus (coffeeshops, etc.), but that’s probably because my own day-to-day life is quite ordinary and staid. i feel like getting the core of the characters’ personality is so important in both au and non-au, but, in a way, more noticeable in au, since there’s none of the typical trappings (background, setting, time period) to automatically fill you in. and if that core’s not there and i can’t recognize those silly guys, it stops being fanfic.

Bandfic readers, I’m taking a poll. Reblog and put in the tags if you prefer canon-type stories where the characters are themselves or if you prefer alternate universe type stories. This is for science.

[tantric-witch]

CONSIOUS LEADERS 6.0 Link in bio With Special Guest & Somatic Sexologist Victoria Redbard. For many eons we've seen the old age story that we must choose between love and success. Relationships being a weakness for many highly successful entrepreneurs. Those days are over. In the new paradigm we get to have it ALL and Victoria will show us how. Using ancient tantric principles and listening to the truth of each moment, we get to exist in our full aliveness, be on our mission AND have the relationships that have us feel free and expansive. _________________ Sunshine Coast conscious individuals, truth seekers, healers, the labeless leaders, the way showers, the brave, the bright shining lights, we are calling you home! Conscious leaders is a fortnightly event where we hold a strong, sacred space, for like-minded individuals to come together, with open hearts and minds. To connect, to vibe, to tribe, to be inspired, to learn, to grow, to become a strong collective, a movement, a force, and to rise together, to make long lasting impact and change. If you are seeing this, you are being called to be part of that change. Every event is a little different... and you can be sure to expect some magic at each. Investment: $25 Location: Bloomin Lotus Yoga 2 Coora Crescent Currimundi (upstairs) Bring: * A comfy pillow to sit on (a notebook and a pen is optional) We look forward to seeing you there! Allie, Sam & Natalee xx ________________________ Please note: * Doors open at 6:15pm on the dot. * Doors are closed and locked at 6:45pm and because of the tight container and experience we create you won't be let in after this. * This is a 16+ event. * We have a no refund policy. You are so welcome to find someone else to take your ticket if you can no longer make it or try posting in the FB group 'Conscious Leaders Tribe | Sunshine Coast'. https://www.instagram.com/p/B3vgqwyHTdk2lKUq0oK12jbke1x3FT3fglevbc0/?igshid=1stfqq92tju3l

[relationshipadviser-blog]

Esther Perel: 'Fix the sex and your relationship will transform'

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/esther-perel-fix-the-sex-and-your-relationship-will-transform/

Esther Perel: 'Fix the sex and your relationship will transform'

Esther Perels breathtakingly frank therapy podcasts Where should we begin not only make for juicy listening, theyve revitalised the stale private lives of millions. Miranda Sawyer listens to the psychotherapist

Passion has always existed, says Esther Perel. People have known love forever, but it never existed in the context of the same relationship where you have to have a family and obligations. And reconciling security and adventure, or love and desire, or connection and separateness, is not something you solve with Victorias Secret. And there is no Victors Secret. This is a more complicated existential dilemma. Reconciling the erotic and the domestic is not a problem that you solve. It is a paradox that you manage.

Ooh, Perel is a great lunch date. All psychotherapists are, in my experience, but shes particularly interesting. Sex, relationships, children; she covers them all in the two hours we spend together. But also collective trauma, migration, otherness, freedom all the good stuff.

Perel is a practising couples and family therapist who lives in New York. Aside from her clinical work she counsels around 12 couples or individuals each week she has two best-selling books: one about maintaining desire in long-term relationships (Mating in Captivity), the other about infidelity (The State of Affairs). She has released two fascinating podcast series, called Where Should We Begin?, where listeners get to listen in on real-life couples having therapy with her. The podcast is where I first came across her its won a British Podcast Award, a Gracie Award in the States and was named as the Number One podcast by GQ.

On top of all this, she hosts workshops and lectures as well as the inevitable TED talks, one of which has been watched more than 5m times. I went to one of her London appearances earlier this year. Alain de Botton was the host and he introduced Perel with quite some hyperbole, calling her one of the greatest people alive on Earth right now. (Perel dismissed this afterwards, though she likes de Botton: He put me on such a platter.)

Esther Perel sometimes sings to her clients; she tells them off quite a lot, especially if they think sex should come naturally. Photograph: Jean Goldsmith for the Observer

The reason for Perels popularity is her clear eye on modern relationships. She says, rightly, that we expect much more from our marriages and long-term relationships than we used to. For centuries, marriage was framed within duty, rather than love. But now, love is the bedrock. We have a service model of relationships, she says to me. Its the quality of the experience that matters. She has a great turn of phrase: The survival of the family depends on the happiness of the couple. Divorce happens now not because we are unhappy, but because we could be happier. We will have many relationships over the course of our lives. Some of us will have them with the same person.

For a while, Perel wasnt taken particularly seriously by the therapist community: she tells me that when Mating in Captivity came out in 2006, it was only the sexologists that thought it was great. This is because her thinking went against long-established relationship wisdom, namely that if you fix the relationship through talking therapy, then the sex will fix itself. Perel does not agree. She says that, yes, this might work, but I worked with so many couples that improved dramatically in the kitchen, and it did nothing for the bedroom. But if you fix the sex, the relationship transforms.

We meet in a boutique hotel in Amsterdam, where Perel orders her food in fluent Dutch. She has a light Belgian accent (she says boat for both), and she wears some delicate gold jewellery, a bit like the Indian hath panja, on her right hand. (Both of these seem to excite American journalists, along with Perels good looks. A relationship therapist who you might fancy, shocker!)

We begin talking about her podcast series. Its an astonishing listen, partly because you get to earwig other peoples problems (always great) and partly because Esthers methods are so flexible: in the first series she got one young woman to wear a blindfold while her partner inhabited a more assertive sexual character, which he did by speaking in French. She sometimes sings to her clients; she tells them off quite a lot, especially if they think sex should come naturally: Who the hell told you that BS?

Series three, released next month, is slightly different to the last two. This time round Perel very deliberately chooses couples at different stages, because she wants to show an arc of a relationship, all the way to its end. Also, she says, I wanted to bring in the way that relationships exist in a larger, social, cultural, context. That context often gives a script about how one should think about suicide, about gender, about divorce and so forth. So we hear from a young couple coping with enforced distance in their relationship: one is US-born and the other is Mexican, without a US visa. Another is a mother and her child, who does not identify as either gender. Another couple, with a young child, have divorced, but seem to get along much better now: why?

Perel finds her podcast therapees via her Facebook page: they apply in their thousands. Her podcast producers sift through, using guidelines that Perel suggests them: this time round she knew she wanted to cover infertility and also suicide. Then theres a lengthy pre-recording interview process where its explained to the couples that, yes, this really is going on air and, yes, they might be recognised (from their voices; theyre anonymous otherwise). Are you OK in understanding that your story will become a collective story? You will be giving so much to others, as well. Its not just for you, actually. And then they have a one-off session with Perel for three to four hours, edited down to around 45 minutes for the podcast.

She loves the format. The intimacy of it, the private listening of it, the fact that you dont see them, thus you see yourself. You hear them but you see you. It reflects you in the mirror. But also, surely, its quite exposing for you? Oh yes. People can come and hear me give a talk, but theyve never seen me do the work and you cant talk about what you do. But when you write a book, that is the first part of exposure. Then comes TED and the podcast. If you ask, What does Perel do? My colleagues know how I do.

Perel is 60 now; I wondered how she found being a relationship therapist when she was younger, in her 20s. Werent clients put off by her youth? Actually, Ive always found that the age of the clients goes up with me, she says. It mirrors. I dont know why. She doesnt think lived experience is necessary, though sometimes she wonders how she had the chutzpah to counsel parents before she became one herself (now she has two grown-up sons; shes still married to their dad, Jack Saul, who is a professor and an expert in psychosocial trauma). But then I have worked a lot with addiction, and Im not an addict.

Interestingly, she came to therapy via drama. Drama and collective trauma. She was the second child of Polish Jews who came to Belgium as Holocaust survivors (Perels first passport was a stateless passport of the UN). In Belgium, they became part of a community of 15,000 Jewish refugees.

Loss, trauma, dismantlement of the community, immigration, refugees All these themes that I observe in the world today, were basically mothers milk to me, she says. Everybody had an accent, a good number of people had the number on their arms. There were no grandparents around, there were no uncles. Its all I knew. Its different than if it was just your parents. Its every home I went to. One of Perels earliest memories is of card games where her parents would talk of a friend, and someone would say, casually, Ah, he was gassed, he didnt make it.

Perels parents had her older brother in 1946, then she came along 12 years later. This was not uncommon. When people came out of the camps, the first thing they did to prove that they were still human was to have a child. They waited to get their periods back, and then they had a child. But then there was a gap of 8, 10, 12 years before they had another. Perel thinks this was because the parents needed to establish themselves in society. Hers ran a clothes shop in Antwerp. The family lived above the shop. They spoke five languages: Polish, Yiddish, German, French and Flemish. Every evening they watched the news in German, French and Flemish, to get a good all-round view.

Divorce happens now not because we are unhappy, but because we could be happier: Esther Perel. Photograph: Jean Goldsmith for the Observer

As a teenager, she was interested in psychology, mostly because she hated the strictness of school. She read Summerhill: A Radical Approach to Child-Rearing, about a British school run like a democracy, and from there she moved to Freud. I was interested in understanding myself better and in people around me. People dynamics. I was quite melancholic and I was often wondering, How does one live better? How do you talk to your mother so she understands you better? Id say the primary ingredient I had was curiosity. I was a massively curious person I still am. She was also a good listener a confidante for her friends. I tell her she would have made a great journalist, and she agrees: That would have been my other career.

After school she went to study in Jerusalem, a university course that combined French linguistics and literature. More importantly, she developed her interest in theatre, which had begun in early adolescence. I assumed she was an actor, but shes talking of improv and street theatre, with puppets, of all things. Big ones, you hold them on two long high sticks, or I did hand puppets. She liked the immediate contact with people and gradually, she found herself merging these skills with her studies, doing theatre with gangs,with street girls,with Druze,with foreign students. At one point she went to Paris to study under Augusto Boal, who created the Theatre of the Oppressed. He would stage fake crises in everyday situations: actors pretending to have a physical row on the Metro, for instance. Perel found it interesting to see which passers-by would get involved and which would turn away.

She moved to New York to do her Masters. She specialised in identity and immigration How is the experience of the migrant different if it is voluntary migration or forced migration? and in how minority communities relate to each other. She led workshops for what were then called mixed couples: interracial, intercultural, interreligious. I knew the cultural issues. I knew how to run a group. I dont think I knew much about couples dynamics.

Around that time her husband, who is a few years older than her, suggested she might enjoy systemic family therapy. I ask what this is. For a long time when people looked at a problem, they thought the problem is located within the person, says Perel. But systemic family therapy thinks that a family, or a relationship, is made up of interdependent parts. What is the interactive dynamic that preserves this thing, that makes this child not go to bed? That makes this man never get a job? That makes this son be such a nincompoop? How is the family system organised around it? You need two to create a pattern, or three or four or five.

Its interesting how therapy has trends, I say, and how those trends manifest themselves in actual life. Couples therapy goes in parallel to the cultural changes and the expectations in a culture, says Perel. During the 1980s her married clients didnt come to her because their sex life was bad, they came because of domestic violence or alcoholism, not because we dont talk any more. Back then, the shame was to get divorced at all, even if one half cheated; now its not to get divorced if one half cheats. She saw clients having problems with infertility, the changing role of women and daughters, the Aids crisis. In the 90s, single mothers, blended families, gay couples with kids. Todays problems, she says, are often centred around people marrying later, after a sexually nomadic youth. Also, modern fatherhood dads wanting to be more involved in childcare and monogamy versus polyamory. Straight couples are becoming more gay, gay couples more straight.

The obvious question, of course, which she has been asked many times, is how Perels own relationship works. She doesnt like to give too many details, but what she does say is that she and Saul give each other a lot of freedom If youve had an interesting life, you have more to bring back, something that energises the couple and that they renegotiate their relationship as it changes. At the moment her husband is entering what she calls a third stage, and he wants to paint more. This means he will be away from New York a lot, while she is usually in New York or travelling herself. We need to, once again, come up with a new rhythm of how we create separateness and togetherness. Its a fundamental task.

She wants others not to copy her own relationship, but to use her work as a way to better their own relationship for themselves. And plenty do. Just the other week a young woman came up to her and asked for a selfie. She said, My boyfriend listens to you all the time, and he comes home and he says, Have you listened to this episode, we need to talk? The podcast is a transitional object, a bridge for conversation. Like a teddy bear that you hold and you say: Its OK, dont be worried.

Like when couples talk through their dog, I say.

Yes, she says. There is such disarray and such hunger about getting help on how we manage our relationships today, on navigating the challenges For the first time we have the freedom of being able to design our relationships in a way that we were never capable of doing before, or allowed to do before. So, I dont give the details of my relationship. Instead I will give you the tools to come up with your own thing.

Season 3 of Esther Perels Where Should We Begin is available exclusively on Audible from 5 October

Try this at home

Three ways to change the way you think about your partner at home

Pay attention to what is important to the other What happens in a couple is that we often give to the other what we want them to give to us. If somebody is upset, you dont talk to them, because when you are upset you like to be left alone. It isnt necessarily what they need.

Roles are often patterns rather than habits If you really want the other person to take out the rubbish, you have to be able to spend two weeks not doing it. You dont say anything. You just wait until the other person finally notices it. When youre not there, the other person sorts the bin. They can do it. Its just that when youre there theyd prefer not to.

Women are not less interested in sex than men, theyre less interested in the sex they can have What makes women lose that interest? Domesticity. Motherhood. The mother thinks about others the whole time. The mother is not busy focusing on herself. In order to be turned on you have to be focused on yourself in the most basic way. The same woman whos numb in the house gets turned on when she leaves. She doesnt need hormones. Change the story.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

[aissm]

AISSM therapists provide support, education and empowering advice across a wide range of sexual health concerns. AISSM offers private individual and couples counselling sessions at their offices in Malvern and Carlton, Victoria. Online sex therapy sessions are also available.

[whatevernevermind]

Fox on Sex: 5 Ways to Get Your Wife to Have More Sex With You

OK guys, stop all your whining and complaining for a second and listen up: If you want more sex from your wives, you have to grow up and recognize that people change, relationships change, and your sex life doesn't stay the same. As a sexologist, relationship expert, and contributor to Good in Bed, the one question I'm constantly asked is: "How can I get my wife to have more sex with me?" Well, I also happen to be a wife and mother of two little ones, so I'm going to give it to you straight. Here's my advice for not screwing it up and actually getting some tonight: 1. Snuggle, Don't Grope. You're in the mood, so you reach out and grab SEO Blog9T us--our breasts, butt, or genitals, that is. Guys, believe me when I tell you that this is the biggest sin you can commit when trying to seduce a woman. It will not send us into an orgasmic swoon. (And, hey, if it does, you don't need my advice, right?). Neither will groping us in the kitchen while we're unloading the dishwasher. These inept moves don't get us all hot and bothered -- they just upset us. Try hugging or kissing. Hold and squeeze our hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to our partners--in ways that don't always involve sex. As guys, you see something sexy and suddenly you're in the mood for sex, ready to go. You pick up the mail, there's a Victoria Secret catalog in the box, and next thing we know you're sniffing in our direction like a dog expecting a treat. But women don't work like that. We may see something that's sexy, and that something may even be you, but we don't suddenly want to have sex. That's where men and women differ: You have to actually put us in the mood. You have to make us feel sexy and make us want to be sexual. Here's a tip: Did you know that studies show that if you hug for partner for 30 seconds it raises her oxytocin levels? Oxytocin is a hormone that makes us feel loving and connected and helps put us in the mood. So start with a hug. 2. Don't Treat Us Like Porn Stars. Just because you can pay to watch a chick with fake boobs and a fake tan fawn all over some hairy, grunting guy doesn't mean you can treat us like some 30-second money shot. Women crave seduction. We crave pleasure. We want sex to be, well, sexy, not like some third-rate porn production. I'm not saying you won't get those little surprise treats now and then--but you've got to work for them. Luckily, the brain is our biggest sex organ, and most women have fantasy lives that leave your porn sites in the dust. You know one of the reasons why women aren't more into porn? Because almost all of it is created by men and for men, who don't have a clue about what really turns a woman on. Wanna know what does turn us on? Ask us, engage us. Which brings me to... 2. Do Unto Others. Want hot sex? You have to provide us with the kind of sex we want to have. Simply put, you've got to give as good as you get. Do I need to spell it out for you? If you want us to use our mouths, you have to use yours, too! And if you do it first? All the better. Most women orgasm best from clitoral stimulation. 4. Give Us Space. It seems counterintuitive, but letting your partner have some time to herself can help her recharge. Offer to watch the kids for a few hours so she can meet a friend for coffee, take a book to the beach, or relax in a bubble bath. This "time off" lets her wind down so that later she'll be blog9t SEO ready to heat up. And by the way, watching your kids isn't "babysitting". They're your children--play with them like you mean it. Be a dad, not a bachelor. Remember, a lot of us find nothing sexier than a dad who's into his kids. 5. Talk--and Listen. I know, I know: Many of you would probably rather clean that toilet than be forced to "communicate." But I'm not asking for an hours-long heart-to-heart here. Spending 20 minutes connecting with your partner and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated. Avoid stressful topics like your kids, work, and home and stick to larger issues like current events and the world around you. Respond with full sentences, not grunts. If you can remember and repeat something she said 12 hours later, she'll be impressed--and you'll be one step closer to sex. Want more tips? I'll be answering your questions all week at Good in Bed. Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. is a sexologist and sexuality educator based in Manhattan. Logan frequently appears on television and contributes to many publications. She is also the author of "Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be." For more information visit www.loganlevkoff.com or follow her on Twitter: @LoganLevkoff.

[algeroth]

A few weeks ago, fourteen Russian first-year air-transport cadets made a parody of a fifteen-year-old music clip, and now it’s all a lot of Russians can talk about. This is a story of spontaneous solidarity, self-organization, and, ultimately, just possibly, the triumph of freedom over bureaucracy.

The original clip, set to the 2002 track “Satisfaction,” by the Italian d.j. Benny Benassi, is itself a parody: of music videos, erotica, and advertising. It features a series of scantily clad young women working with tools, starting with a hammer and graduating to a masonry drill, a belt sander, and an angle grinder. The screen features names and technical descriptions of the tools while the women pose with their bodies contorted and their mouths open, as though they were in a Victoria’s Secret catalogue. In their parody, the air-transport cadets used an all-male cast, the interior of a well-worn student dorm, and the kinds of tools that are found there: a broom, a clothes iron, a spray jar of glass cleaner. Mostly, though, they used their own very young bodies, dressed in underwear, with belts, neckties, and military caps arranged in apparent homage to Tom of Finland.

It appears that the cadets didn’t intend to distribute their video publicly. But, in mid-January, the clip was posted online, to swift official reaction. The air-travel ministry announced that it was forming a commission to “investigate all circumstances and causes of this outrageous incident.” The prosecutor’s office launched its own investigation but swiftly wrapped it up, stating that no laws were violated. The head of the air-transport academy publicly compared the cadets to Pussy Riot, the protest group whose members were sentenced to two years in jail for attempting to dance in a cathedral. The local governor issued a statement calling for the cadets to be “punished” but not expelled from the academy.

State television covered the clip on talk shows and news programs, rebroadcasting it to millions of their viewers each time. “I see clear expressions of homosexuality,” a woman introduced as a sexologist told a reporter on the twenty-four-hour state news channel, which broadcast the video in its entirety. “It’s a provocation,” her sister, also a sexologist, added. The sisters were dressed in identical brown pants suits and white blouses.

And then the Russian Internet was flooded with clips shot to support the air-transport cadets, often hashtagged #Satisfaction. (I highly recommend that the reader watch all of the following videos, in the order in which they are provided.) There were the trade schools—construction, agricultural—and emergency services. Then there were the jockeys and the stable boys, the theatre troupe, the nurses, and the members of the Russian women’s biathlon team. Most clips contained a message of support and some identifying information—“Medical students in support of the air-transport cadets,” for example—and many of the participants made a point of wearing uniforms, if they had them. A Ukrainian swim team shot part of its clip underwater; another group filmed outside in the snow; a rare mixed-gender group shot in a sauna; self-identified retired women of St. Petersburg filmed in the squalor of a communal apartment.

The clips keep coming. They are so numerous, so exuberant, and come from such different corners of Russian society—from eighteen-year-old cadets to middle-aged middle-class sauna enthusiasts to the elderly communal-apartment dwellers—that they serve as the best proof yet that Russia is not nearly as conservative as the Kremlin has claimed in recent years. Sociologists have known this all along: even as Putin has positioned Russia as the center of an imagined “traditional-values civilization,” independent opinion surveys have shown that, to take two examples, Russians overwhelmingly support the right to abortion and are more tolerant of adultery than most nations outside of France. At the same time, a majority of Russians identify as Russian Orthodox and express virulently homophobic attitudes—most likely because the Church and queer-baiting are two pillars of the Kremlin’s ideology, and Russians are constantly reminded what kinds of opinions they are expected to express on these topics.

Given Russia’s official and highly politicized homophobia, these parodies are pure protest, raunchy and playful. They demonstrate that Russians can still form horizontal connections, despite the state’s monopoly on the public sphere, and despite the threat of harsh penalties for protest in general and “propaganda of homosexuality” in particular. Each clip is at once a show of solidarity with a group of young strangers and a show of ordinary people’s ability to organize and act together—an ability that the state would seem to have stamped out. Many of the videos involve a fair amount of staging, choreographing, and shared risk; most culminate with a scene in which a dozen or so young men dance together, whether in the laundry room of a student dormitory or underwater.

As the videos continue to replicate, they become, generally, less sexy and more funny. But in most cases the last scene is still pointedly homoerotic. This is remarkable in a country that’s not only deeply homophobic but has also been in the grip of an anti-gay campaign for some six years. Performing homoeroticism is, as it turns out, the real power tool when it comes to sticking it to the authorities.

[tantric-witch]

CONSIOUS LEADERS 6.0 Link in bio With Special Guest & Somatic Sexologist Victoria Redbard. For many eons we've seen the old age story that we must choose between love and success. Relationships being a weakness for many highly successful entrepreneurs. Those days are over. In the new paradigm we get to have it ALL and Victoria will show us how. Using ancient tantric principles and listening to the truth of each moment, we get to exist in our full aliveness, be on our mission AND have the relationships that have us feel free and expansive. _________________ Sunshine Coast conscious individuals, truth seekers, healers, the labeless leaders, the way showers, the brave, the bright shining lights, we are calling you home! Conscious leaders is a fortnightly event where we hold a strong, sacred space, for like-minded individuals to come together, with open hearts and minds. To connect, to vibe, to tribe, to be inspired, to learn, to grow, to become a strong collective, a movement, a force, and to rise together, to make long lasting impact and change. If you are seeing this, you are being called to be part of that change. Every event is a little different... and you can be sure to expect some magic at each. Investment: $25 Location: Bloomin Lotus Yoga 2 Coora Crescent Currimundi (upstairs) Bring: * A comfy pillow to sit on (a notebook and a pen is optional) We look forward to seeing you there! Allie, Sam & Natalee xx ________________________ Please note: * Doors open at 6:15pm on the dot. * Doors are closed and locked at 6:45pm and because of the tight container and experience we create you won't be let in after this. * This is a 16+ event. * We have a no refund policy. You are so welcome to find someone else to take your ticket if you can no longer make it or try posting in the FB group 'Conscious Leaders Tribe | Sunshine Coast'. https://www.instagram.com/p/B3vgnIyHKHeodDDAUopqb01qAwq1G6L-sPr6Hw0/?igshid=12b2vi0l0l2m9

[tantric-witch]

Co-creating the Awaken event… “It's not about somebody loving me… it's about someone being IN THE LOVE with me. So they are an ever changing, evolving being - and I am as well. And no one can really say - it's you that I love because while you can love me in this moment… I'm going to be changing and be a different person to I was three years ago. Even different to yesterday. It’s more a question of how can we get accurate and say, I’m feeling in the love right now? That’s when we start to actually FEEL THE ALIVENESS… because it's a brave path - to actually walk there. And I really honour anybody who does step into that path, because it's not for the faint hearted. It is for is for people that want to experience real aliveness… that's the reward of it. It's scary in some ways, yet it's actually so liberating to feel the impermanence of everything, and to step and walk with that love. It completely shifts our perceptions of relationships, of the purpose of love, and the purpose of partnerships. I think that we can love people, we can stay committed to somebody and love them in lots of different ways. So the love that I experience with my partner is an experience of loving him, I'll always be committed to him, but that commitment will look different and be ever changing, ever evolving. We now have this house together and a dog together and things like that… it's important to acknowledge the commitments that we make with people. But those commitments are not based on romantic love. Romantic love is elusive, and it's ever changing. Once we start to fully connect to that, then we can actually be alive and present with that.” - Victoria Redbard, somatic sexologist & relating expert. From my recent interview with Victoria Redbard - I'll pop the link to the interview in the comments if you missed it 💖 So grateful to have Victoria join me on stage at the Awaken event on 10 August… a 1 day workshop & movement activation to help you level up your inner game & navigate your own path with subtle yet profound & powerful insights. Awaken - Mind, Body, Heart, Soul 10 August, Tallebudgera, 12pm - late. ✨ Link in bio for tickets (at Tallebudgera, Queensland, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0xBgwbnWJLJl03EGacHjMzMXEfgWF8zyDYkUw0/?igshid=9w9ju5akrf28

[tantric-witch]

Co-creating the Awaken event… “It's not about somebody loving me… it's about someone being IN THE LOVE with me. So they are an ever changing, evolving being - and I am as well. And no one can really say - it's you that I love because while you can love me in this moment… I'm going to be changing and be a different person to I was three years ago. Even different to yesterday. It’s more a question of how can we get accurate and say, I’m feeling in the love right now? That’s when we start to actually FEEL THE ALIVENESS… because it's a brave path - to actually walk there. And I really honour anybody who does step into that path, because it's not for the faint hearted. It is for is for people that want to experience real aliveness… that's the reward of it. It's scary in some ways, yet it's actually so liberating to feel the impermanence of everything, and to step and walk with that love. It completely shifts our perceptions of relationships, of the purpose of love, and the purpose of partnerships. I think that we can love people, we can stay committed to somebody and love them in lots of different ways. So the love that I experience with my partner is an experience of loving him, I'll always be committed to him, but that commitment will look different and be ever changing, ever evolving. We now have this house together and a dog together and things like that… it's important to acknowledge the commitments that we make with people. But those commitments are not based on romantic love. Romantic love is elusive, and it's ever changing. Once we start to fully connect to that, then we can actually be alive and present with that.” - Victoria Redbard, somatic sexologist & relating expert. From my recent interview with Victoria Redbard - I'll pop the link to the interview in the comments if you missed it 💖 So grateful to have Victoria join me on stage at the Awaken event on 10 August… a 1 day workshop & movement activation to help you level up your inner game & navigate your own path with subtle yet profound & powerful insights. Awaken - Mind, Body, Heart, Soul 10 August, Tallebudgera, 12pm - late. ✨ Ticket link in bio (at Tallebudgera, Queensland, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0w_XW7HJ-EyJOWJPdBQV5W0ld8xn6-1Kdhefg0/?igshid=37xac5jftqbb

[tantric-witch]

Cocreating the AWAKEN event link in bio... "I want to share about living with an open heart. And all the places that we protect ourselves. Finding ways to protect ourselves so that we can actually stay connected to our creativity, and to our sovereignty. It's about following the mystery and trusting in eros, creating a new paradigm of relating, creating synergy while also living a sovereign life. Eros is about life instinct - and having a sexual instinct as part of that - but it's also the desire just to live life and to have thirst and hunger. When we are following that thirst and that hunger - we are actually connected to all the desires that are in our heart… we're not trying to put everything into boxes. We're just living within the space of following the mystery. Once we've got that, we followed the mystery, we're living in our heart’s desire… then we step into the space of creating synergy with everything. So how do we still take care of our projects, how do we still love the people that are actually important to us and how do we how do we show up in commitment? While still living our best lives and living a life of desire." - Victoria Redbard, somatic sexologist & relating expert -------------- Bring your mysterious heart & join me in learning from the reflective & deep diving insights of Victoria Redbard Awaken - Mind, Body, Heart, Soul 10 August, Tallebudgera, 12pm - late. Epic speakers Like-minded community Movement, magic, food & play Event link in the comments (at Gold Coast, Queensland) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0QHPUHHVH4ZAj84E_gFAkARoNAx8WNGmZQpxM0/?igshid=zzffor5dq8mr

[tantric-witch]

Cocreating the AWAKEN event... "I want to share about living with an open heart. And all the places that we protect ourselves. Finding ways to protect ourselves so that we can actually stay connected to our creativity, and to our sovereignty. It's about following the mystery and trusting in eros, creating a new paradigm of relating, creating synergy while also living a sovereign life. Eros is about life instinct - and having a sexual instinct as part of that - but it's also the desire just to live life and to have thirst and hunger. When we are following that thirst and that hunger - we are actually connected to all the desires that are in our heart… we're not trying to put everything into boxes. We're just living within the space of following the mystery. Once we've got that, we followed the mystery, we're living in our heart’s desire… then we step into the space of creating synergy with everything. So how do we still take care of our projects, how do we still love the people that are actually important to us and how do we how do we show up in commitment? While still living our best lives and living a life of desire." - Victoria Redbard, somatic sexologist & relating expert -------------- Bring your mysterious heart & join me in learning from the reflective & deep diving insights of Victoria Redbard Awaken - Mind, Body, Heart, Soul 10 August, Tallebudgera, 12pm - late. Epic speakers Like-minded community Movement, magic, food & play Event link in the comments (at Gold Coast, Queensland) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0QHLVXHXiEDEj1wPUTqkhAQwXS9q7t6BL9as40/?igshid=moijevmpkuud