#Sex tips

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

[Image: ‘Using Sex as self harm?]

While some survivors shy away from sex completely after the fact, other still are able to have healthy sex lives, there is another subset of the survivor+sex possibilities- those who use sex as a form of self harm.

How can you tell if you’re using sex as a self harm mechanism?

Does sex usually make you feel bad?

Do you seek out sex when you feel bad about yourself?*

*and not as in 'my partner makes me feel loved when we have sex, so I go to them. kind of seek out.

Do you think that it’s all you’re worth?

Do you often find yourself dissociating during sex?

Do you often find yourself going into situations you feel are risky and then being upset with yourself afterwards?

If you answered yes to any of the above, you might be using sex as self harm.

What can you do if you’re using sex as self harm?

First, it’s important to remember that shaming yourself will not actually make you stop. Sometimes we beat up on ourselves over these things and call ourselves horrible names- and we justify it by saying 'it’ll make me stop’ or 'it’s what I deserve for doing this’.

It won’t make you stop, it may even drive you to doing it again. And you don’t deserve to be hurt anymore.

No longer using sex as a self harm mechanism comes in three to four parts.

What will you do when you do use sex as self harm?

Even once you’ve recognized that this is a behavior that you want to stop- most survivors will slip up a few times.

Create a self care plan. Figure out what you need to do to reduce the damage. Both in terms of during and after. Birth control and 'afterwards I will call my friend instead of beating myself up for this.' 

What will you do when you want to use sex as a self harm mechanism?

When you find yourself wanting to self harm- what will you do? How will you distract yourself?

A lot of people do the….'if I still want to do this in an hour I can re-examine the urge again.’ game. 'I’m going to watch an episode of HTGWM and then maybe’  'I’m going to go take a shower and brush my hair and do my makeup and then we’ll think about it again’ 'If I still want to do this tomorrow- then maybe.’

Have a plan of things you can do in the mean time. Have things that are both straight up distractions and ways to vent, express yourself, deal with the feelings that are driving here.

Maybe ways that you can be validated. Maybe 'instead of going to the bar or calling that boy I’m going to call my friend _____ and see if she’ll come over and we’ll lay on the couch and watch netflix' 

Whatever it is that you need to do to keep yourself from self harming.

Figuring out why you want to use sex as a self harm mechanism- and attacking that at the root.

Maybe it’s because you think that this is all you’re worth. If so- find other ways to validate your worth, if you can’t find worth in who you already are- ask someone else you trust to help you see it. maybe help you write a list. or figure out ways you can help build your sense of worth- volunteering, or by being a good friend, or whatever it is you think makes a person worth while.

Maybe it’s because you think this is what you deserve. If so- when you’re feeling okay I want you to write down that you don’t. that you don’t deserve to be touched when you don’t want to be. That you deserve better things. That trauma has not marked you for life as undeserving of intimacy. You deserve to come to it on your own terms though. You did not deserve what happened to you. and you do not 'deserve’ self harm, you deserve so much better.

Maybe it’s because you’re trying to process what happened. and if so- it’s a sign processing needs to happen about the trauma. Try to find healthier ways to process. Talk to a friend or a group or therapist. Read articles or watch poetry or whatever it is that you think is a healthy way to process what happened. make art, whatever it is you need to do.

Find ways to directly deal with the root of why you self harm.

and lastly- this is only if you /want/ to. Nobody is required to have sex ever again.

Find out ways to have a healthy sex life again. 

Maybe you’ll still need to do the waiting period at first- to make sure it isn’t a self harming urge. 'If I still want to have sex with you in a few days, maybe. but right now- I need to wait.’

Maybe you’ll need to have sex a certain way. Soft and slow. In a certain environment. With certain conditions.

Whatever it is that makes you feel safe and comfortable. The important thing is finding something that works for you.

—–

Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are trying to heal the best way that you know possible, but I want you to know, that you don’t deserve to hurt and that there are other ways to go about things. that you have options.

and that you deserve better.

Take care of yourself today, okay?

[certifiedsexed]

Ok so I’m 19 years old, and me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now. We haven’t had like actual sex but he does do foreplay, the problem is I’m a virgin and after I saw the size he was I was kinda scared cause he was big. Soooo I’ve been putting off having my first time with him because it’s just been running through my brain about it hurting really bad and I’m just like super nervous. I want to have sex with him but then again I’m scared it’s gonna hurt really bad. Help 😬😬😬

Okay, so Anon, here's the thing: you don't need to have penetrative sex for your first time. If you're really scared and don't feel ready, especially if you don't have experience with penetration, it's okay to do something else. Blowjobs, mutual masturbation, frottage, rimming, etc, you have a lot of other options!

But let me also say, even if he's big, it should not cause a lot of pain as long as you do prep, take it slow and relax. [Unless you have an issue, physically, with penetration and/or if you're having vaginal sex and your vaginal opening is small/er and his penis is very large.

Admittedly, certain sizes don't work together.]

I'm not sure if y'all are planning to have vaginal or anal sex but even if you want to have penetrative sex, you shouldn't be jumping into it! You start with, hopefully, foreplay and then fingering, working up to it and making sure you're comfortable!

And if he tries to penetrate you and it doesn't feel right, you say stop and if he's a good person, he will. There is no reason why this would jump immediately to extreme pain.

It makes sense to be nervous. You should actually talk with him about it; that could help a lot, Anon. He might even be nervous too!

But like I said, take your time. Keep your options in mind. Keep in mind you can say "stop". Don't jump straight into anything.

Hope this helps, Anon. Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[bootleg-nessie]

This is what my dick sounds like when erect

She pulls down my pants and SPROIOIOIONG

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

A lot of people like to explain consent in sexual encounters as “No means no.” This is true, but doesn’t capture as many crucial parts of happy fun sex and experiences as “Yes means yes!” Consent should always be informed and enthusiastic, never coerced, and you and your partner should be looking for consent continuously. Stay safe, stay happy, and have fun!

[mistermoon11]

Nos tomamos fotitos así después de de culear?

O vamos a culear antes?

[victusinveritas]

[the-black-manor]

How do you prepare for pegging?

First and foremost, lots of foreplay. They should be throbbing before you even think of moving to their ass. Lots and lots of lube. If you think you have enough lube, you don't, use more. Start with one finger and insert it slowly. Curl it JUST A BIT to get them used to that pressure. Ask them to squeeze as hard as they can, then curl it some more, gently. Tell them to relax, add another finger, clench again, but this time, separate your fingers like scissors. This is what will actually stretch them. Repeat until they've taken three or four fingers, then you can use a toy or your cock, depending on size. You don't want to go straight from fingers to your biggest. You need to work up to it, so start small. If you have an average-sized cock, you can use that, but go slow. Press the head against your ass and slowly start to apply pressure. Again, depending on size, it might slip right in, or they might need time to slowly stretch around it. Once the head is in, don't think you can go all out and start thrusting, you have to get the rest of it in first. Slowly apply pressure, tell them to clench and relax. Each time they relax, you should feel them pull you in a bit more, until you're as far as you can go depending on your and their anatomy. From here, let them adjust to the stretch, then rut into them gently, not pulling out, just moving inside. Once they're comfortable with that, pull out almost all the way - leaving the head inside - and then push back in all the way. Let them adjust to that, and then you can start going harder.

[ast-n-kat]

ASTRID has her glass cock fully up KATRINA’s slutty pussy. She pinches one of KATRINA’s perfect nipples, twists it and tugs it up.

KATRINA moans mouth open.

ASTRID: Don’t you fucking cum, you cunt. Did you fuck my wife?

KATRINA: Astrid, I didn’t I swear.

ASTRID pumps her glass cock in and out of KAT’s sloppy wet slit 3-4 more times.

KATRINA is visibly fighting a cum.

ASTRID: Don’t you fucking do it, bitch. You did something to her. Or she did something to you. Or both. Spare me lies; you have her goddamn cum in your hair.

KATRINA: (quickly, still fighting a cum) She came on my face a bunch.

ASTRID: A bunch? You bitch.

ASTRID pumps her big glass dick in and out of KAT’s whimpering pussy four full thrusts.

ASTRID: (one word per pump) Don’t. You. Fucking. Cum.

This is the most ASTRID has ever spoken during sex so KATRINA knows she means business.

ASTRID: Why was she cumming on you a bunch?

KATRINA: She said it’s because I make her so horny. That the expressions on my face fills her balls with fresh cum.

ASTRID: What was she doing when she said talked about her fresh cum?

KATRINA: Jacking herself off on my face.

ASTRID: And what were you doing while she was jacking off her cock and cumming on your bitch face?

KATRINA: I was sucking her balls a bunch.

ASTRID: When did you start sucking her balls, Katrina? Before the jacking off? After she started stroking it or was it like at the same fucking time.

KATRINA: (afraid to say)

ASTRID: Tell me the truth, Kat, and I’ll let you cum on this dick?

KATRINA: (dying to cum on that dick) It was before any of that. She definitely started jacking off because this whore mouth was sucking on her big beautiful ballsack a bunch please make me cum now

ASTRID pumps her cock once into KATRINA and KAT cums super hard on it.

KATRINA: (can’t stop cumming) GODDAMN GODDAMN!!

ASTRID: Stop cumming so hard.

KATRINA: pullitoutpullitoutpleasepullitout

ASTRID pulls it out.

KATRINA: (still cumming a little) Show me.

ASTRID is pissed but she shows KATRINA the mess she made on ASTRID’s glass.

KATRINA: You said it was okay. You said I could cum and you said that we could fool around.

ASTRID: I know what I said and yes you had my consent.

KATRINA: Do we still?

ASTRID: Yes of course.

ASTRID doesn’t say anything but she can tell that slut just got wetter.

KATRINA notices the same about ASTRID

KATRINA: Are you wet right now?

ASTRID: Yes of course.

KATRINA: Can I eat your pussy out right now?

ASTRID doesn’t speak but nods yes.

KATRINA kisses on ASTRID’s perfect pussy and fingers her out a bunch. ASTRID enjoys it but doesn’t cum.

ASTRID: Ok that’s good. Thank you for telling me. Only tell me when I ask okay?

KATRINA: Yes, of course, honey. I know. Can I kiss you?

ASTRID nods yes as she and KATRINA meet at the mouth. They kiss a while.

KATRINA: You can put that dick in me again and I’ll cum.

ASTRID shakes her head no.

KATRINA: Can I make myself cum while you kiss me?

ASTRID nods yes and kisses KATRINA deep on the mouth as KAT puts two fingers up her own needy pussyhole.

KATRINA cums again as they kiss. She wants to cum a bunch but holds back a little.

[priyankathakur]

Hey Do you Want Try Something New in Your Sex Life ...Comment My Profile i Have a Surprise For You...

[inya-rose]

How to Masturbate Without a Vibrator

If you find yourself without a vibrator or simply prefer to explore other methods of self-pleasure, there are plenty of alternatives to consider. While it may be a little disconcerting at first, you don't necessarily need sex toys for a fulfilling solo experience. However, it's also important to keep safety and effectiveness in mind when looking for alternatives.

Today we're going to explore some proven ways to masturbate without a vibrator. Whether you're a novice or looking to expand your masturbation repertoire, these techniques can provide a satisfying experience depending on your preferences. Let's dive into the world of pleasure without sex toys and discover what works best for you, now!

Your fingers are your most reliable companions

The seemingly innate skill of using fingers to masturbate is simple, but it has to be said that it is a classic and reliable method. For some, it may not provide the same instant gratification as a vibrator, but when done properly, it can still provide incredible pleasure.

Different techniques are vital when you try to explore manually.Instead of immediately resorting to vigorous rubbing, consider gentle circular motions, up-and-down strokes, or even light tapping around the clitoral area. Everyone's preferences are different, so take the time to discover what feels most enjoyable for you.

Also lubricant is a good companion to masturbation, so don't skimp on yours. Apply generously to your fingers and vulva to ensure a smooth and pleasurable experience. Ultimately, experimenting with different techniques and sensations can lead to a fulfilling and enjoyable masturbation session without the need for a vibrator.

Try a pillow

For many vulva-owners, clitoral stimulation takes center stage during masturbation, and grinding can be an excellent technique to explore this sensation further.

Try grinding, this is when pillows can play an unexpected role. You can sit across the square head, choose an upright or flat position, whatever is comfortable for you anyway. Experiment with different grinding movements, such as moving your hips back and forth or side to side, until you discover a rhythm that feels pleasurable.

If you prefer something even firmer, consider using a rolled-up towel instead of a pillow. For additional stimulation, slide your fingers down to your clitoris and grind against them gently. Adding some lubricant can enhance the experience, ensuring everything feels smooth and comfortable.

Creative shower heads

This is one of the proven and effective DIY masturbation methods. Hold the shower head and aim the jet of water at your clitoris until you find a comfortable angle. Adjust the water pressure and temperature , it is recommended to start with a lower water temperature to avoid discomfort caused by overheating.

Masturbating in the shower offers privacy and discretion, making it a preferred option for many. However, be mindful not to let too much water enter the vagina, as this could disrupt your natural pH balance and potentially lead to infections.

A Massager

If you are missing a vibrator, then you can look for some of life's items as a replacement. However, it's essential to prioritize safety and avoid potential risks associated with certain objects, such as electric toothbrushes or phones.

While most household items are not suitable for sexual stimulation due to material composition or hygiene concerns, there are exceptions. For instance, a vibrating silicone face cleanser, crafted from body-safe materials, can be repurposed for clitoral or G-spot stimulation after thorough cleaning. To enhance safety, consider covering the massager with a condom before use. Additionally, ensure that any item used for penetration is made from a non-porous material to minimize the risk of bacterial contamination.

It is possible to masturbate without a vibrator, but the sensations that a vibrator brings are hard to match with these methods. And it has no health risks. If you decide to purchase a vibrator now, click here.

[jeweldarling]

Literally every time I masturbate these days, I’ll have an orgasm but it’s like my brain randomly gets distracted right at the climax and so it gets RUINED

Why can’t I live also what the hell

[bootleg-nessie]

Sexy carrot.

Either way, tasted very good.

Pretty sure I saw one of these at the sex shop I went to with my girlfriend the other day

[mistermoon11]

Ahora soy el único que busca sexting y todas esas cosas? 😔 Se perdieron los valores

[thixcy]

Source: brick_citi_buddha via instagram

[stablepuff]

This is crazy

[girlw-amermaidtattoo]

For the dungeon master on the go, who demands to punish their slave when (and where) they want to!

Anyplace can be your sexual dungeon with the pleasure playpen foldable mat. Release the pleasure playpen and get ready to give the best erotic enslavement. Don't worry, your pet will never get bored. With 18 d rings and a tearaway zipper down the middle, you'll keep them guessing and eager 😏💕✨