#September 17 2023

[crawfishcomic]

The September 17, 2023 Incident

[card-of-the-day]

Today's Card Is: Vampire Lord

[dogstomp]

Dogstomp #3182 - September 17th

Patreon / Discord Server / Itaku / Bluesky

[glimmerofawesome]

[ralfmaximus]

650,000 Americans are becoming infected daily, with 1 in 51 Americans currently infected with COVID. 

Wow. When Fortune dot com starts freaking out about about pandemic levels of COVID in 2023 that's impressive.

But of course nobody suggests shutting down the economy, wearing masks, or isolation. That'd be crazy talk.

[tyforthevnm]

lsdunes: Doors are open at @riot_fest and we go on at 4:05pm! Get ready to go crazy 🦂

📸: @jacob.moniz

[September 17, 2023]

[mermaidinthecity]

vanessahudgens: Tis the season

[outfitsinspiration]

Who: Tamara Kalinic

What: Saint Laurent High-Waist Tailored Trousers - 726.00€ Where: Instagram Pic/ Erdem Spring/Summer 2024 show during London Fashion Week - September 17, 2023

Worn with: Saint Laurent top,  L.Cuppini jacket, Prada pumps and Chanel bag

[eons-arts]

friend page

[brain-in-a-skin-suit]

me after a long day of staring at my to do list

[vyxart]

[leoniehannecloset]

What: Celine Triomphe 01 Sunglasses in Acetate in Blonde Havana - 420.00€. And HERE Where: Instagram Pic - September 17, 2023

Worn with: The Frankie Shop vest and trousers, Prada sandals and Loewe bag

[untothebreach]

I'm bad at improving and social games. I'm bad at bluffing games like werewolf. I've recently gotten so bad at thinking on my feet that I can't even play Werewolf without staying silent most of the game, tripping over myself, and failing to spin a good story or bluff and absolutely spectacularly failing in the process while everyone else sits in how awkward I am. It's a nightmare.

How am I supposed to be this awful at social games and expect to have a thriving social life or something? How do I delude myself into thinking me, the person who shuts down in social environments when put on the spot, could ever have a place in such a competent friend group, or ever deign to be in a relationship with anyone but the most pitying or doormat of men? I can't even keep up with my friends in a game... what chance do I have of it in real life?

They deserve better. I don't deserve them. They should be ashamed. I'm such a fucking failure compared to them, how could I even bother trying.

[daydreaming-girl-in-purple]

He also told me yesterday that he wanted me to make ultimatums too. I hate the idea bc I know he would not care. He does whatever he wants anyway. So I said to him that he doesn't care if he loses me. To which he responded that that doesn't make any sense and that must be what I'm thinking because I have my family to help me. He said his family was a dying family and they don't care.

I do care if I lose him though. He's broken up with and kicked me out so many times now that it feels inevitable... I cannot believe how jealous he is of my relationship with my family though. We are basically dirt poor. As a unit we always had to depend on each other. We had a lot of struggles of course. His family had a lot of struggles to but in different ways. They're all kind of horrible to their mom, who was trying to show them that they could leave a relationship that didn't help the children. She worked really hard to basically support them on her own. To this day she supports them in one way or another but she must be "tyrannical" with her "guilt trips." They're a bunch of big babies. I had literal abusive situations growing up and though my mom kind of turned a blind eye to it, I forgave her. I understood she did everything she could just to keep a roof over our heads. My dad wasn't even in the picture. They have both their parents. They experienced grandparents on both sides. Whatever the difference is, it doesn't matter because for some reason he has deemed my family ungrateful. He dislikes them so much but yet he's jealous of how we generally get along.

Meanwhile, going back to the guilt trips, yesterday felt like a series of guilt trips from him. Except when I said I felt like he was accusing me of something he was like that he was. So I guess because his accusation of me not cooking enough was "true" then it doesn't count as a guilt trip. As I was hiding in the room, he kept trying to be nice and asking if I'd forgive him. But I was already in the downward spiral. Then later his accusation of me not being affectionate enough even though I felt insulted by him all day...

The other problem is that downward spiral. When he brought up his need for food, it was a lecture. I couldn't believe he didn't consider the fact that I had to be with my family those two days. In the end I told him I had to be there for my family and he said then I made the right choice... but he knew before the lecturing that I made that choice and why. But anyway, when the lecturing was happening, I shut down. All I could think was that I was a failure to him. Then when he was threatening/planning on quitting his job, all I could feel was that no matter what, after all of these incidents with him, I WAS a failure. No matter how many times I got it right. I was always going to be a failure to him. He always asks me for more.

He said I didn't have to make anything fancy. I don't think anything I made was all that fancy. Most of it is that I have to use raw ingredients for the most part. So it's a lot of prepping! I have to make my own bread bc he refuses to buy bread. He always complains about tortillas so I occasionally make some from scratch as well. It's not that I don't enjoy it but it takes a lot of work. On top of that I have the obligations to my family which he has also told me is my obligation as if I didn't know already.

If only there were an advice columnist that could help me. I could probably sign it "stretched too thin." Whatever... I guess it doesn't help when people see me not doing anything. Like at his request (and beci she's nice) I'll sit with his mom as much as I can. But I'll hide as long as possible if his other family and friends are here. I'm just super awkward with people. And after these years together there hasn't been much progress with me and his family, aside from his mom really.

I know we love each other but half the time I don't think he likes me. He's always threatening to leave and go away. It's not always implied to be my fault. Still it hurts a lot. He's not stable. He's not truly understanding. This is why I said he's not afraid of losing me...

[glimmerofawesome]

[deadestofdoves]

Why can't I ever open a can of spam without slicing my fingers open? I was really careful this time too!