#Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[zimithrus]

A ship? What about Valenwind?

At first, never thought anything of it, not a ship I ever had pinging around in my head. Though a while ago, at least over 10 years ago I came across this flash animation of specific characters/ships dancing on a DDR machine and I remember seeing glances of Cid and Vincent together and going nuts over it lol

Then I started thinking over the years huh, I wonder how this dynamic would actually look/sound like? And started playing OG 7 with them in my party together, and then I came across some comics and fics (the fics I know were definitely yours lol) and I loved the way they were characterized together, their stoic and loud dynamic, it was like pickles and chocolate - I love pickles and chocolate! That was a terrible analogy 😅

But yes, grew to love it and now I love the dynamic! 💚 (thank you for helping me love the ship over the years 💖)

(also that flash is still up for the curious, if you want to give it a watch, here you go)

[lexithwrites]

Brutally honest opinion on rosekiller?

They were originally one of my top 5’s but then I found out bartylus was a thing,,,,idk, I really love evan as ace (maybe aroace) and instead of putting him with a partner I just love him and pandora being weird siblings together and neither of them caring about romantic relationships, like they chill together and that’s all they need for right now. I do love rosekiller don’t get me wrong but sometimes I wanna focus on evan’s platonic love too

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[queers-gambit]

Hello my lovely, it’s me your babygirl. Remember me? 🥰🥰

I know you’re busy working on fics rn so take as much time as you want to answer!

I’ve got a very important question regarding Felix that I’d love your opinion on it & share my thoughts with you! 

*quickly runs to give you the biggest hug & spin you in my arms* 😘

So…. What do we think a Felix x reader wedding would look like at Saltburn? A grand extravaganza with a million guests or an intimate ceremony with just the Cattons?

Obviously they take every opportunity to throw a party at Saltburn so a wedding is the ultimate bash in the eyes of the Cattons. 

Or would Felix just decide to change it entirely and just want it to be a tiny intimate thing since he wants this to feel quiet and special. And then maybe some big party another day to the delight of Elspeth and sir James.  

For Felix he’s so laid back and in love all he cares about is his girl and what will make her happy. They are so young and in love i wouldn’t be surprised if he proposed on a lazy Sunday morning or a day reading naked in the field, just because he was so blissfully happy he knew there was nobody he’d rather spend these kind of days with for the rest of his life. 

Side notes: Venetia would be maid of honor right? I see Elspeth as the mother in law that makes herself heavenly involved with planning and gives her brutally honest opinion picking out the dress 😅 I can even picture stoic Duncan trying to hold back tears while he’s holding a tissue box to Elspeth or sir James while they read their vows. 

…

Sorry for the endless ranging but I’m aching to know your thoughts and see if you’ve thought about this too!!

of course i remember you, baby girl! welcome back!

i needed a break from writing, so thank you for sending this, my darling! it's always good to refresh the pallet, and this ask really got me thinking!

let's get into it!

kinda-sorta wedding AU HC's

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 1.4k+

warnings: suspiciously none

so your question all depends on the Reader, but i'll try to answer best i can.

the Saltburn wedding is definitely a huge, extravagant ordeal. the Cattons are well connected, so, it wouldn't just be Felix and Reader's peers attending, but ALL family from both sides, as well as family friends, too. Reader's family is invited to Saltburn a week before matrimony; where they try to help, but the Cattons have hired 3 different wedding planners to make this the most talked-about event in any social circles.

every room in Saltburn is cleaned and decorated. an abundance of flowers are shipped in to be hung from the ceilings and bannisters. there's BOTH a live band and a DJ, an erected outdoor dance floor.

now, i can see two different things: 1. Felix and Reader marry in the local church and then the reception is hosted at Saltburn. 2. they marry on Saltburn's property and still have the big ass reception on the grounds.

either way, it's most def a summer wedding to utilize optimal weather. it's a reason to wear the best clothes, drink expensive liquor excessively, and indulge in gluttony. it's a night designed to make attendants jealous.

there's well over 300 people, Sir James and Elspeth combing through their address books to send invites even to family friends they haven't spoken to in years. they're the kind of parents that take advantage of their child getting married; it's the best excuse to show off and have a grand celebration, to prove the family doesn't do anything half-assed. if they can throw extravagant parties just for the hell of it, they definitely feel pressure to out-do themselves.

it's like this wedding isn't *for* Felix and Reader, but more so for the Cattons to show up and show out. it's not about a union of two people, but an excuse to gloat and smash their privilege in everyone's face.

Felix eats it up 'cause it's all he knows, the spoilt rich boy, but Reader's a little uncomfortable with the sheer size and details of her wedding. but in the same breath, she's relaxed because she KNOWS this is just how the Cattons operate and she doesn't really have to lift a single finger.

so, Reader lets Elspeth plan her ideal wedding - 'cause there's no way she's not involved. they make some decisions together, it's a bonding experience for Reader and her soon-to-be MIL, but for the most part, it's the matriarch doing most of the heavy lifting.

Felix and Reader only get to decide on wedding colors, catering options, and the cake. and even then, they have to endure his family's opinions.

Reader doesn't even get to 100% choose her dress, hair, and make up. Elspeth basically decides everything. i agree with you and think Mrs. Catton would impose herself even on the wedding dress selection, becoming persnickety, opinionated, and a little snarky when Reader shows off her dresses. this causes tension with Reader's family, who think the older woman far too self-important, and maybe it's Reader's mother or sister that stands up to her and insists Elspeth keep quiet since this *isn't* her wedding and they don't want any influences on Reader. they want Reader to choose her perfect wedding dress without scrutiny since she has no say in anything else.

in fact, maybe - juuuuuust maybe - Reader's family takes her to shop for a wedding dress without Elspeth in an effort to dial down the stress. it's not meant maliciously, but Elspeth simply cannot help herself and takes over everything; so, Reader's family figures if she's not there, Reader can make a decision *for herself*.

when Elspeth finds out, she's hurt, but it's Sir James that calms his wife down by reminding her that she had something not-so-nice to say about damn near every single dress Reader tries on. so, she accepts this one detail being out of her control.

the entire wedding screams "old money" because half of the decorations and details are wildly redundant, but there's no such thing as cost to the family. Elspeth is def living vicariously because she thinks she knows best, so she spares no expense - perhaps even going as far as to rent exotic peacocks to roam the grounds simply because the Cattons can!

they're definitely going "Crazy Rich Asians" in the sense that Felix's marriage is going to be the event of the decade, like Collin and Araminta's wedding. again, it's not even about the union but just a chance for the Cattons to remind everyone that they were lesser-than. Felix thinks it's normal, he thinks this is how it's supposed to be 'cause he's def removed from reality, and truth be told, he loves the attention. the bragging rights.

Felix might be a bit more reserved than his family, but he's still a Catton and glamour is *all* he knows, especially for an event like this. he doesn't stand up to his parents because they're paying for everything, which makes him feels as if he's not entitled to an opinion. so, he lets Sir James and Elspeth plan the wedding they want since all Felix has to do is show up. he'll do his best to alleviate stress, acting as a buffer between his betrothed and parents, but he doesn't dare open his mouth.

this is marketed as a once in a lifetime celebration, so nobody is willing to butt heads with Sir and Mrs. Catton.

on that note, yeah, i can see Felix having an intimate proposal. maybe in the field at sunset, maybe at a cafe in town, but not in bed. he's got a flare for the dramatic, so odds are, he's actually down on one knee. he's young, so he doesn't need to make a huge ordeal for the proposal since it's an incredibly intimate moment. he might even proposal on a whim / impulsively. he's had a ring for months, planning the best moment to ask Reader, but he gets anxious and one day, it just happens. it feels right. Felix has that burning feeling that he needs to ask now else he'll fuck up his plan in the future by being so nervous. so, yeah, he just asks one day - barely even thinks about it! he just knows Reader is who he wants, so why plan the "perfect moment" when an opportunity organically presents itself?

now, Venetia can be a bridesmaid, but she's not MOH. again, depends on the reader, but i imagine Reader's sister or her own best friend should be MOH. Reader wants Ven involved in everything, but no, she's not gonna be the one standing next to Reader when she gets married. Ven helps decide bridesmaid dresses, works with Reader's sister and / or best friend to plan the bachelorette party, and is present for any conflict between Reader and Elspeth. she's sorta like a tie breaker because Felix is on Reader's side and Sir James is on Elspeth's. Ven is the one who helps keep Elspeth under control, the only one bold enough to stand up to her mother without fear of repercussions. she sees how Reader is struggling to both have the wedding of her dreams and respect for her MIL, so, Ven imposes herself to give Reader a break. to be the voice Reader lost.

and just because it's fun, YES, Duncan is def in attendance, handing the Cattons and Reader's family tissues during the emotional moments of the wedding. he eats two slices of cake. and for the fuck of it, you bet your ass Duncan lets loose a little and Cabbage Patches on the dance floor.

i think it's nice to imagine Felix being all cute and intimate, but personally, i think he's so far deep in his family's way of living to truly be humble. sure, Reader anchors him to reality, but he still lives this extravagant life so he doesn't know the definition of "humble". but that's why i said, it depends on your reader - but in my opinion, Felix is a little too spoilt to have the forethought to marry privately. or maybe he knows it's a fight not worth having with his parents, that no matter what, they're going to do what they want.

so maybe Felix is the one encouraging Reader to just "go with the flow" because resisting is futile. perhaps Reader comes around to the idea of a grand wedding because she knows she'd never have this sort of experience with anyone else; so, why not bask in it?

ah, i love these. they're so much fun! thank you for sending in, baby girl! all my love 🖤

[mixelation]

SasuNaru and Itachi/Sasuke for the anon meme !

send me a ship and i'll give you my brutally honest opinion on it

SasuNaru

I do not really care about this ship, but also it is canon in my heart. Does that make sense? Like I do actively filter it out of searches (because a lot of rarer ships are background ships in massive SasuNaru fics and it clogs results), but also it is the most sensical ship for both Naruto and Sasuke IMHO. I do not care about tossing them into new AUs or poking their dynamic; I simply perceive the truth. They are dating.

ItaSasu

Definitely a NOTP. Sibling ships squick me pretty bad.

I will say that I am frustrated by the paucity of Itachi & Sasuke (note the ampersands) fics out there. I think exploring their deeply fucked up feelings for each other in, say, a post-canon "Itachi lives" AU would be super interesting and compelling. It would also be a lot of careful character work and a nightmare to write, so I can see why it's not a popular subject even among Itachi fans. Alas.

[inevitablestars]

regulily! i need to hear your thoughts on them so bad

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

HELLO i am so glad you asked. here at inevitablestars we love regulily. dare i say we are insane about regulily.

and like yes i get they are a controversial ship but i don't care! i love them! they are in love! they kiss on the mouth! cry about it.

and here's the thing, the only work in some situations but there are also a lot of those situations. (i even have a canon compliant version of them in my head) and to me regulily never like intentionally gets into a relationship which goes to how they only work in certain ways because they never like meet randomly and start going on dates that's just not them. they end up in each others lives and it's pure devotion it's soulmate shit it's something that doesn't make any sense how they got there but it makes perfect sense that they have and there's no going back.

[atlasdoe]

frank/alice !!!

send me any ship and i'll give my brutal honest opinion on them

UNDERRATED AS FUCK!!!!!

this fandom loves to go on and on about tragedy and which ship had it worst while giving these two dust.

tortured to insanity after the war had finished. how could you get more tragic then that?????

and they're just so adorable in every version i read about them. I see them as like the anti jily. they got together during their first year and stuck together through it all. Literal soulmates. Everyone in Hogwarts could only dream of having a relationship like theirs

they are my children and i love them more then life THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT THEM <3

[gold-rhine]

kokosara for the ship asks?

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

i love it, i wish they had more screen time. the enemies to lovers where they are leading opposing forces, but they respect each other, and trust that the other one is honorable??? v sexy. locking eyes across the battlefield? v yuri. their subtle un-humanity, like they are very different, a crow and a sleeping water dragon, but this slight distance from ppl is similar. leaders but they feel like outsiders among their own ppl, do u see my vision. kokomi, a soft-spoken, but strong-willed leader and sara, her adamant knight, who finally has a leader who actually cares about ppl and is worth being loyal to. mwah. and ofc they can bond by nerding out about military strategies

also sara needs to get laid like very badly, soft dom koko tentacles bdsm would fix her tbh

[susandsnell]

For the ship thing I want to hear more of your opinions on modern harlivy

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

Hiya Payts!

A lot of my modern Harlivy takes are covered in point 2 on this post; TLDR though is that modern Harlivy, despite being allowed to be more canon and visible, ended up being made very boring and one-note due to being the flagship of DC's LGBT+ representation and hence held to the absolutely miserable, flattening standard that is Good Representation. If they aren't being in-universe titillation for cishet men because Girl on Girl Is Hot And For The Male Gaze, actually, they're basically boiled down to a handful of sapphic Pinterest aesthetics of "chaotic girl liker" and "be gay do crimes" and "cutesy date scenarios", and they both kind of lose their original personalities as a result?

Like a lot of their most compelling content was when they were relegated to a more subtextual relationship because they still felt like them, but now it's just Cheerful Wacky Harley and Sarcastic Grouchy Ivy Rolling Her Eyes at antics and they're not allowed anything deeper than that, for fear of any kind of controversy. And in fairness, criticisms of sapphic ships and the insane standards of purity to which they are held are an absolute minefield due to the one-two punch of Sapphics Are Mean For Not (only) Dating Men stereotypes and misogyny wherein male villains can be as dastardly as they please and are loved for it whereas female villains have to get the anti-hero treatment or they're Problematique. I remember ages of awful takes about how Ivy is As Bad And Abusive To Harley As The Joker because of things like cartoon slapstick fighting with Harley/calling her dumb exactly one time for getting them caught by GCPD. And we both saw the hellscape that was Catradora discourse. People throw tantrums on the daily over children's cartoons like Owl House because a lesbian was a slightly rude middle schooler. People will not only give the pass but adore messy, toxic, complex mlm love stories like Interview With the Vampire and NBC's Hannibal, but anything in mainstream media depicting a sapphic relationship with more nuance or flaws than a Pride month Sears commercial is beyond what anyone can handle.

But the fallout of this is that Harlivy finally has the chance to be canon and it's, as I said, the corporate Pride version of itself. These are two highly intelligent, deeply flawed women in their thirties with complex histories, past relationships, and unresolved traumas, who are both ICONIC VILLAINS IN THE ROGUES' GALLERY, and modern stories don't seem to want to let them be anything beyond sex-crazed hormonal teenagers whose biggest issue is really basic communication (but not as a result of difficulties from their pasts, ever, so much as it is plot contrivances), whose connection to one another is flattened so much as to almost be little more beyond how cutesy they look posing together in lingerie that looks like their villain costumes. And that's because writers, critics, and audiences alike won't let them be anything more than that, and that's a damn shame.

[pedanticat]

Shadamy and Sonally

Shadamy

It's not a Sonic ship I think of very much but I can totally get the appeal of it and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't cute. The pure dichotomy between the two in which one is a brooding dark loner and the other is an optimistic ball of sunshine makes for a pretty fun dynamic with each other.

Sonally

So funny story, when I first discovered the Sonic comics, I instantly dropped the series when I saw Sonic kissing Sally (some random character whom I'd never heard of before) instead of Amy whom I believe was Sonic's one and only true love (in my defense, I was a dumb teenager at the time). However, when I revisited the comic years later and read more stories involving the two, I grew to love their dynamic. I haven't read all of Archie Sonic in its entirety but I absolutely adore Sonally dynamic as Sally grounded and tactical nature perfectly compliments Sonic's adrenaline and go-with-the-flow personality. There's also the fact that Sally could easily match Sonic with all of his quips and witty banter. And Sally herself is a pretty awesome character.

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[emmafallsinlove]

what is your brutally honest opinion on rory and logan?

i'm telling myself i don't want to be a hater but i am even though there are parts of their relationship i grew to love he's the worst. he's the king of manipulation, making it all about him, doesn't respect her space and always thinks he knows better & he has the worst fucking life. everything is a game to him, an ultimatum, the way he calls rory 'ace' is just the worst turn off ever. she is barely herself when she's around him, she barely reads books, 'their' apartment is basically his even though they living together so it feels like she's just having the longest sleepover in his place. every time he makes plans just for the two of them (or at least that's what rory is assuming) it ends up being an event with other people in it. he never stood up to what is father said to her and basically let her drooped out of yale, never did anything to help her go back to school, never did anything to make her go talk to lorelai again. he is love bombing her with gifts and coffee carts and all those stuff. he buys her a birking bag and honestly rory doesn't care about any of it. the bridesmaids 'accident' was the biggest red flag that he has over stayed his welcome. being a jerk to rory's friends, never show up when it's important to her but rather he's gonna spend millions of dollars in vegas instead of showing up to lane's baby shower party.... he doesn't even try to know rory and her friends and her world all he ever does is try to change her to fit into his. he humiliated her in front of her entire class along side finn & colin so honestly i don't get what was so fucking funny in it. he has no respect for rory, no respect for lorelai, he is just.... he steals from emily and richard when he has this dinner thing at their house and then make sure the maid who desperately needs the job (i am assuming) gets the blame on it. he steal a fucking yacht with rory & doesn't even care she needs to do a community services while he does nothing and never held any consequences for his action. treat people that don't have lots of money as they below him (as with marty) and doesn't understand what's wrong with that. says he would factor rory in & she should do whatever she wanna do and then breaks up with her because it's marrige or nothing. having an affair while being engaged and just - god, i don't love them. maybe rory was good for him for helping him change a bit in s7 but he was never good for rory! she deserves better & i'm so glad she said no to him.

Send me a ship and I'll give you my brutally honest opinion on it

[ectonurites]

DickKory

oh they are iconic and legendary forever and ever. like. i do generally take a pretty neutral 'i see the appeal of both' stance in the primary ship war that this pairing is often a part of, but like... dickory really is an amazing pairing, they have great chemistry, it's just a lovely dynamic. like it's not something i'm overly ridiculously invested in just because i generally am more attached to/invested in the YJ era/generation of characters rather than the NTT era/generation, but I do love 'em.

[Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it]

[lexithwrites]

Thoughts on romantic moonwater?

LOVE. My quiet book worm boys, my t4t loves, the forbidden summer romance UGH I really love moonwater even if people despise it lmao idc I think they work so well together

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[sagesfandomspot]

jess & rory ;)

AHHH MY BABIES!!! my beautiful, 'right person wrong time', book loving, endlessly supportive of each other babies. full of passion and love and connection. I just... I wish they talked to each other. so many of their problems could have been solved or even avoided if they didn't keep secrets. they weren't perfect, of course, their relationship had a lot of issues. but I truly believe they are soulmates. they didn't survive as teens because they weren't ready for it yet. they needed more time to grow and mature apart from each other. I truly believe in my heart that they are endgame, there's just toooo much love there for them to not be together in the end. they drive me insane and I will love them until my dying days.

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[mixelation]

Tori/Obito

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

i am absolutely devastated to admit i'm kind of into it (cringe content under the cut)

my initial concept for the obito-tori dynamic would be a weird mirror of her relationship with orochimaru: there's parts of it that are rewarding for her, and if you turn your brain off for long enough, you might think "oh, he likes her and they get along." but, ultimately, obito would have no problem killing tori if she got out of line. unfortunately then i accidentally made them. friends?????

???????????

anyway, another thing i wanted to explore with this dynamic is: tori definitely learned a lot in oto. she's wiser about playing with fire now. so, in some sort of even CRACKIER au than whatever plasticity is, i can see them.... in some sort of.... horrible, perpetual game of gay chicken? they're mutually flirting with the other one completely screwing them over. they're technically married in tea country. tori flirts with kakashi entirely to fuck with obito's mind. obito reads icha icha specifically to fact check tori and annoys her into yanking his hair and then lets her because he likes human contact. they're horrible together. they don't know how to stop.

"so what sort of CRACKIER au--" okay consider this mind-bending scenario in reborn au au: toxicity

tori dates itachi for a while. obito is on-again off-again fuckbuddies with kakashi. but then:

the way i'm imagining itatori, they do have several breaks from each other, because neither of them go into it thinking they'll end up married.

the sexual tension between kakashi and obito is still insane, but kakashi is eventually like "so this might be unhealthy?" because he listens to rin, and then they end up calling it off

so at some point while they're both single, obviously somehow obito and tori end up together

no one liked that!

i still don't think obito/tori is as tasty as kakashi/obito in this au, but the sheer mindfuck this would give literally everyone is. amusing.

[inevitablestars]

ship game, wolfstar 🦢🦢

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

wolfstar my loves <333333333333 the stars of the show 2 me. been loving them for most of my life which idc if that's embarrassing to say but i fell in love with them (most sirius and by extension wolfstar once i was old enough to go on the internet and discover fanfic) ANYWAY

love them so so much. messy wolfstar, divorced wolfstar, happy wolfstar, toxic wolfstar, wolfstar raising harry, wolfstar nearly killing each other, any version of them. you name it i love it.

the one true ship to me ever. i could talk about them for hours and hours and never get bored

[lumosatnight]

Nottpott for the ship game asks!

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it (and also maybe a fic rec).

NottPott for me is a cute ship. When I want something a little softer, a little less in-your-face about the dramatics. If Scorbus is next gen Drarry, then NottPott is Drarry light 😂. You still get that Gryffindor-Slytherin dynamic, the meddling friends, the shift in ideology, but Harry and Theo never had the same animosity that Harry and Draco did or Harry and Severus even. The het equivalent would probably be Hansy or Panville.

Still a great ship though! It might not be top tier for me, but all of the NottPott fics I have come across (or written) I have absolutely loved. Also, this one artist (who I will rec below) super converted me hard to get aboard the NottPott ship because they kept prompting NottPott in all the fests and drawing them so cutely.

-

My ship rating: to be or Nott to be

My art rec: Just the Two of Us by @shiaya21 [G, digital]

Digital art of Nottpott because these two are adorable and they stole my heart.