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litamusprime · 3 years ago

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People who aren't sandwiches but kinda a little.

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Alright so here’s the post I kept meaning to write.

Geekagora made a couple of posts recently that I wanted to talk about.

The first one was about how despite his best attempts, he’d started thinking about how nice it might be to have a wife. And the disappointment with realizing he might like a partner, even if just to talk about well, things like this.

The second was about how its galling to see women who seem to be so interesting and desirable (I’m paraphrasing a lot, but like… no one is stopping you from going to his blog to read what he said verbatim) end up with as he put it “Joe SemiTall Whitebread in Khakis”. But, pondered that maybe it’s due to those same men being dependable.

It is.

I told him that I was going to write about how each new boyfriend whittled away at what I thought I wanted/needed in a partner.

That’s not to say I’ve settled, not at all.

But, I’ve learned where I need to put in the extra work, what is fair to expect from someone, and what things you can expect, but not necessarily off the bat.

I dated a man who was taller than me, conventionally attractive, fit and funny. He was super into me and if it weren’t for the absolutely mind-blowing mental abuse…. He’d have been a perfect mate. He was so Ideal ™ that I actually forgave him several times for being a total trash human. I was actually willing to settle for his shitty behavior because well, all the rest was great… right?

Luckily, he didn’t give me the chance to make the worst mistake of my life and he dumped ME over text. Thanks, preesh.

After him, I should have taken a long break to piece myself together because I wasn’t kidding at all when I said mental abuse. I was absolutely tattered.

Unfortunately, I’m not very good at relaxing.

I caught the eye of a sad, sweet boy who was convinced he was unlovable.

I was still so hurt and confused by my last breakup that I thought I’d feel better if I made this person feel better.

Again, another very acceptable specimen. Not very tall, but taller than me, conventionally attractive and had a huge circle of friends who welcomed me with open arms.

But again, I was settling for someone who wanted me and I felt obliged to be there for and with him. But he was flakey and mean. Not what I’d call mentally abusive or anything like that, but due to my own experience with the last man, I was determined to be the opposite of what I’d just experienced.

Which, would have been great if that’s what I’d actually done.

Instead, I acted like a wallflower, afraid to rock this boat, here to soothe his wounds and cause no extra. I let myself be treated poorly and suffered for it.

I wanted to be whatever it was I thought he needed, but didn’t actually know what that was, or know if I could be.

I couldn’t, actually.

I don’t know exactly why he dumped me, but I do know I was relieved. I had realized at some point that I didn’t even want to date this person, he’d told me that I made him happier than he’d been in years and that he didn’t think anyone would look at him the way I did. And it’s hard to remember if I even looked at him like that. I know I wanted him to make up his mind, did he want to be my boyfriend or not? But I don’t remember if that’s what I wanted because I wanted him or if I just hated not knowing one way or the other.

But in both of these relationships, I tolerated poor behavior because I liked having someone to talk to. I liked having someone in my corner.

And I thought that’s what they were.

I forced myself to stay unattached for as long as I could, but I HATE not having a partner. I don’t like having to say, “haha, no I’m single” or lie about having a boyfriend.

Which, btw, I don’t. I turn men down all the time and don’t tell them I have a boyfriend.

But, I have wanted to get remarried pretty much since I finalized my divorce. I didn’t get married for no reason. I have a daughter. I want a partner, a husband. I want someone who’s not just visiting my life but a hardwired part of it.

I just didn’t really care who it was. That was the problem.

I can count on one hand how many of the people I’ve been interested in first. I always just go along with what they want.

“Do you wanna be my girl?”

Okay, sure!

What a terrible idea.

Of course, I failed over and over. I didn’t even pick these men. I just agreed.

But, that’s where I get to the JSTWBIK

I have one of those now.

He isn’t as clever as the two other men I talked about. He doesn’t have any of the neat hobbies they do. In a lot of ways we don’t really get along. He thinks anytime I raise my voice, I’m angry. I can’t stand the music he prefers to listen to or the reason why. He is completely ignorant to internet culture and it actually makes it hard to talk to him on occasion because I have to explain years and year’s worth of internet lore/drama in order for him to understand a reference, and in most cases I just don’t bother.

He's watched basically every popular sitcom you can name and I didn’t know what Supernatural was until it already had 10 seasons.

He’s never lived on his own and I’ve been on my own since I was 18 and a single parent for the last 8 years. I’ve always had my own house and space and it’s so weird to go to his house. Which is not his house but his brother’s house and we have to be quiet when we watch TV because his room shares a wall with his niece.

There are a LOT of ways we don’t get along or things we can’t relate well to one another on.

But I can say without a shadow of doubt that I CHOSE him and wanted him.

I didn’t just agree to date him. I wanted to be with him.

And I still do. He isn’t perfect, but he’s here. Especially when I need him.

He doesn’t let me walk all over him or talk down to him. Not that I would but it’s nice to know I wouldn’t get away with it.

He is not the type of guy I’d normally want to be with, he doesn’t hit all those marks I thought I wanted in someone. But he is reliable, and he loves me.

I am secure with him. I don’t worry about what he’s doing, and I know he doesn’t worry about me. He trusts me and for the most part, I trust him (another post maybe).

There’s so much to be said about someone who answers your texts. Maybe not instantly, but you know eventually they will. They aren’t ignoring you or leaving you on read because they know it drives you crazy. They take time to check in even if it’s just once a day. People have this mistaken notion that you’re either supposed to be okay with constant checking or none at all. I’ve already been with someone who thought it appropriate to not even say hello. For a whole day, for no reason. They were around, they just didn’t think about me. Not once.

Because they knew I’d do it.

Nah, not anymore. We out here letting those we love know it. Without question.

A dependable person who can learn and grow with you. They might seem boring and bland on the outside, but maybe when you’re all kinds of filling and sauce and condiments, it’s nice to know you’re safe and secure between two slices of white bread.

Anyway, there’s the post, I hope you liked it! I’m not sorry it was long af lmfaooooo get rekt.

@geekagora

#writing #relationships #text #i didnt proofread this #lol

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disneytva · 4 years ago

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Matt Olsen Uploads The Douglas Furs Series Bible Of The Rejected Disney XD Series From 2015 All Art Belongs To Jesse Ledoux

Matt Olsen from Sly Cooper fame & co-creator of Douglas Furs uploaded in his website the series bible of the Douglas Furs a rejected Disney show for Disney XD who sadly was rejected.

The Douglas Furs is an original cartoon series about a community of animals living together in Douglas, an otherwise unpopulated corner of the deep forest Pacific NW. Though they hold down jobs, use complex machinery, and return their library books late, they still remain animals. It’s like William Shakespeare said, “A bear will always be a bear, even if he’s wearing overalls.”

Characters Names

Barry The Bear: Optimistic Bear with a big heart and that fixes all the problems,supports Douglas to the absolute max, innocence and naivete are components of Barry’s character, he’s no wide-eyed child, speechless and dreamy in the presence of wonder. Quite the contrary! Barry is a loud, active celebrator of every new experience. He loves life! Even the most normal, everyday things can get Barry excited and revved up to a surprising extreme. Though it’s also true that his rabid interest may change in an instant with the discovery of some new stimuli

Mary Margaret: Mary-Margaret attends Rutherberry Elementary, She is the Bullhorn’s star investigative journalist, a role which she takes very, very seriously. The position feeds her all-consuming curiosity, or as her peers simply call it, “being a nosy-pants”. Her efforts have single-handedly made the Bullhorn the most-read paper in Douglas, all but putting the “professional” paper, the Douglas Herald-Gazeteer, out of business. Mary-Margaret is the elementary-school age daughter of Douglas’ leading intellectuals. Her father, Myron, is a critical studies professor at the local university, while her mother, Dagmar, is Douglas’ most esteemed (and only) deep-Jungian psychiatrist.

Beverly: Beverly is the single force that keeps Douglas functioning as a city. As Deputy Lieutenant Mayor, she performs all the responsibilities of not only her own position, but also the Mayor’s and several other government officials. She’s vastly overworked but somehow manages to hold it together, fulfill all her duties and put out the fires. Sometimes, literally. (She’s also a volunteer firefighter.)

Her hectic home life does not provide much of a relief from her career. She’s happily married to Garland, who in addition to being father and primary care-giver to their children, is a semitalented landscape painter. Her six kids, three sets of twins, are all very energetic and clamor for her attention.

Viktor: Viktor was a celebrated Cosmonaut of what we would call vaguely Eastern European descent. On his final lift-off – a mission that would have sent him hurtling past Mars and Jupiter to be locked in orbit around Saturn – the rocket he was piloting failed, veered way off course and crash-landed in Douglas. (He suspects the rocket was tampered with by a jealous rival.). Since that time, his main pursuit has been to repair the rocket and resume his mission. However, due to Douglas’s non-advanced state of technological development that goal remains far outside his reach. So, he remains an unwilling resident, but he’s gradually warming up to living in the township. Maybe.

Viktor is skeptical and even paranoid of almost anything outside his world. As such, he rarely leaves his home for fear of saboteurs. He’s not against helping others, but he wants all the information first and would really prefer it if there was something in it for him, too. This is probably a holdover from his Cold War-esque training.

Rainier Somersett-Psymthe: Rainier is not only the wealthiest citizen of Douglas, he is also the town’s single-largest employer. He is the current scion of the storied Somersett-Psymthe lineage and, through no effort of his own, inherited the family business: the Silky Beast line of personal shampoos for Him and Her. Due to the hirsute nature of the population of Douglas and surrounding woodland areas, Silky Beast is in extremely high demand. Since the day-to-day running of the plant is handled by underlings, Rainier lives immune from responsibility and has plenty of free time on his hands. The main focus of Rainier’s efforts is feeding his fame. He has a continual hunger for attention and thrills to read his own exploits chronicled and discussed in the local paper. He is a strict adherent to the no such thing as bad press ideal and will perform any manner of ridiculous acts solely to guarantee his presence on the front page.

Barry and Rainier are roughly the same age and share many of the same memories of growing up in Douglas, albeit from completely different perspectives. Where Rainier lives in a gilded mansion built by his great-grandfather and passed down from Somersett-Psmythe to Somersett-Psmythe, Barry lives in a one-room yurt that he constructed himself. There’s still a bit of work to be done around the back. No one would ever consider them rivals. No one except Rainier, that is, who considers everyone his rival. It’s possible that Rainier could be envious of the simplicity of Barry’s existence and attempt to out-simplify him, but that hasn’t happened... yet.

Carl: Carl is Mary-Margaret’s classmate at Rutherberry Elementary and the staff photographer for the school’s newspaper, The Rutherberry Bullhorn. His ability to fly means that he excels at aerial photography and can get shots from many different angles. Carl is drastically near-sighted and requires a large pair of corrective lenses to approach “eagle-eyed”. With the glasses on, he can see slightly better than most of the other animals in Douglas, but without them the world is a predominately blue and green blur. In a lot of ways, Carl fits squarely into the classic “nerd” stereotype, e.g., he’s quiet, bookish, shy, a little physically awkward, etc., but he has other qualities which don’t fall so easily under that sad rubric. His parents have imbued him with a strict sense of personal responsibility, justice and honor. It’s a code of ethics that has been handed down his proud family line for ages upon ages. What Carl doesn’t realize is that he is also the subject of interest by many of the other girls at Rutherberry. Unfortunately he is too singleminded to notice their adoration, even when it is at its most blatant. He lives every single day on the verge of either making his feelings known to Mary-Margaret or giving up on her entirely

Mayor Trewfuss: Quincy Trewfuss is the oldest citizen of Douglas and has served as the town’s extremely popular mayor for an astonishing forty-two terms. With one brief exception at the beginning of his career, each of those forty-two terms have been consecutive. At the close of his first two-year term, he declined to run for re-election and happily handed the mayoralty off to someone else. Trewfuss is entirely unsuited for a life in politics. He is skittish, fearful, apprehensive, easily bewildered and opposed to any and all conflict. He lives in an eternal state of being overwhelmed. His frequent response to any crisis is to follow his natural tendencies and play possum. He literally pretends to be dead. It may have stopped fooling most folks a very long time ago but they understand that whatever calamity has come up has pushed him to the edge. So, in response, he is given time alone to regather his senses. As it turns out, it’s become a very effective tool for him. Those on the inside know that he is only a figurehead at this point. His deputy lieutenant mayor, Beverly, actually handles all the significant mayoral duties. Trewfuss reluctantly appears at ribbon cutting ceremonies, poses for photographs with civic leaders, sleeps his way through city council meetings and that’s about it. Still, he remains perpetually on the verge of a total nervous breakdown.

Link And Louie: These two live in a homemade tin roof shanty just outside Douglas, beyond the treeline. Though they attempt intimidation, the town generally regards them as more of a nuisance than a threat. Link and Louie, of course, are oblivious to this and sincerely believe they are genuinely terrifying to the regular squares. Though they’ve never revealed how they ended up around Douglas, popular opinion holds that the last town they harassed, finally had enough and chased them out in a most embarrassing fashion. This accounts for the chips on their shoulders and their “somethin’ to prove” attitudes. Link is the instigator, with Louie always willing to go along blindly with any of Link’s plans. Though he’s never been tested, it’s a safe bet that Louie is not very smart. He lets himself be talked into a lot of Link’s fairly stupid ideas, most of which involve putting himself in danger of imprisonment or bodily harm, while Link remains safely at a distance. Link consoles Louie by claiming this as an occupational hazard, their biggest fear is Gordon The Sasquatch.

Gordon: Gordon is supremely boring. His company invariably brings a slight level of discomfort to everyone he encounters. His stories are long-winded, circuitous and off-topic. He speaks in an exhausted, physically draining monotone. Still, it’s hard to say a bad word against him since he’s never done any harm to anyone. So, those he encounters will often endure the conversation out of kindness and for fear of hurting his feelings. He’s staggeringly sensitive. Now, this is not to say that he’s not without value. Gordon possesses great strength and is very tall. So tall, in fact, that his head is always out of frame or behind a tree branch or perhaps hidden by a low-hanging cloud. (The home viewer will never see his face.) Just on physical presence alone, he’s an intimidating force and may be called upon to act as anything from security to heavy lifting. In those situations, his size and strength becomes a large enough asset to overcome his crippling dullness. Even though he’s not a “true” citizen of Douglas – he camps nomadically in the woods outside town – he’s generally happy to be of service and always enjoys being around others. Gordon is also a budding folksinger and can often be found with an oversize acoustic guitar, singing his terrible songs to the ears of nature, since no one else – given fair warning – is likely to listen. Overall, he’d really like to meet some other sasquatches

Douglas is a township surrounded on all sides by dense Evergreen forest. Within this clearing is a fully-functioning community of various animals indigenous to the Pacific Northwest. The town is constructed of available materials with homes and buildings suited to each animal’s own preferences. For example, as a beaver, Beverly lives in a log cabin-esque dam on the river. Wood and stone dominate the local architecture, while brightly colored mosses, ferns, wildflowers and lichen provide the embellishments. Greens, browns, grays and blues dazzled up by pinks, yellows, oranges and purples provide the palette. Technology exists only to the level it is needed.

Since the town itself is rather small, cars were never necessary and therefore, not invented. A refrigerator, on the other hand, is an absolute necessity. I mean, how else is one expected to keep one’s salmon puffs fresh? No specific number has ever been ascribed to the population of this small town – they’re not sticklers for data gathering – but as a sort of reference to its size, here’s some semi-useful factoids:

• 1 TV channel. All of the programming is made in Douglas by Douglas for Douglas. Not surprisingly, a majority of the shows take place in Douglas. “Hot Douglas Nights” is appointment television.

• 1 fire department and 1 hospital. Accidents do happen. Of course, when they happen to cartoon characters they’re hilarious.

• 2 school districts, each with its own elementary, middle and high school. This is really only done so that the grammar teams have someone to compete with... er, I mean, with whom to compete.

• 36 square miles in area. That’s the legal US definition of a Survey Township and, by pure coincidence, a remarkably close measurement of our own township. Go figure

• 200 years old. Douglas was founded in the year 1812*. Of course, that’s by our calendar. Here, they use a completely different system to measure time. It’s like dog years, but then you have to modulate the formula for each species. It’s very complex.

#Douglas Furs #The Douglas Furs #Disney #Disney TVA #Walt Disney Television Animation #Disney Television Animation #Walt Disney TV Animation #Disney TV Animation #Disney TVA Pilots #Jesse Ledoux #Matt Olsen #Disney XD

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maelkevejen · 7 years ago

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Men det er jo nemt!

Jeg skal bare printe tre forskellige planchedesigns ud til i morgen, så jeg kan få respons på dem sammen med resten af mit studie. Det tager, jeg ved ikke, cirka 5-10 minutter at lave sådan et udkast i InDesign, og jeg har haft to dage til at lave det, men er ikke kommet nogen vegne overhovedet, fordi jeg ikke kan overskue, hvor mange forskellige komponenter, der skal være til stede på planchen. Venner, der står, at der skal være diagrammer med på, men jeg er ikke engang sikker på, hvad et diagram helt præcist er. For jeg tænker søjlediagrammer, og jeg tvivler på, at der skal være sådan nogle med. Men der skal være målfaste snit og plan og alt muligt andet også, og tekstbokse og udregninger, og en masse forskellige ting fra begge fag, vi er igang med at aflevere projekt i, og jeg er forvirret! Vi har været igang i ugevis, og jeg har ikke engang læst hele opgavebeskrivelsen endnu, fordi der er så meget tekst i den! Den er fem sider lang! Hver gang, jeg går igang, går jeg promte i stå igen.

I mellemtiden sidder Mathias og kæmper med en opgave, der kun må være en side lang, og jeg... altså... problemet for ham er, at den kun må være en side lang. Det er sikkert svært, men jeg har også svært ved at sætte mig ind i det, for helt ærligt, det et vigtigt at fatte sig i korthed plus at jeg er elendig til at koncentrere mig om at skrive lange opgaver. Jeg har faktisk i dagevist spekuleret på, om jeg ikke bare skal droppe ud, siden jeg er så lidt selvstændig og ikke rigtigt kan se mig selv være kreativ på kommando. Var det egentlig ikke også en af de små grunde til, at jeg ikke ville være journalist alligevel? Hvor er det tåbeligt at have semitalent for noget, uden at kunne slå det til og fra på kommando, hvis man gerne vil have en akademisk uddannelse. Jeg har det som om, jeg aldrig bliver til noget.

Og jeg har været så smadret, siden jeg kom hjem i eftermiddags, at Mathias pakkede mig ind i en dyne på sofaen, skænkede vin op for mig (vi har kærestedag i dag), og lavede mad til mig. Og jeg har ikke engang lavet noget vildt i dag, jeg har bare været på arbejde (chill), og spillet D&D med nogle studievenner (chill) og været i IKEA for at købe lagener, og altså, der var ikke rigtigt nogen i IKEA, så det var overhovedet ikke slemt, men alligevel var jeg bare så.. træt, da jeg kom hjem. Så træt. Jeg får overhovedet ikke nok søvn, og det er bare min egen skyld, fordi jeg ikke kan finde ud af at strukturere min egen søvn. Eller min tid. Jeg er bygget af overspringshandlinger og dårlig time management. Altså. Hvorfor går jeg overhovedet på universitetet? Og hver gang, jeg begår den mindste fejl, skriger min hjerne, at jeg bør straffes, og selvom jeg ikke gør det, så klør det i armen i timevis. Man skal ikke undervurdere hvor distraherende det er. Alting er bare så flydende og forvirrende, og jeg kan ikke huske noget heller. Forleden dag ville jeg fortælle Ida en historie, om at Mathias havde været sød, da vi skulle ud, men selvom det kun var to eller tre dage siden, kunne jeg ikke huske, hvorfor vi skulle ud. Eller om det var to eller tre dage siden. Jeg brugte næsten halvandet minut på at komme i tanke om det. Jeg tror, at min hukommelse er gået i stykker. Jeg er også ked af det, men jeg ved ikke, hvad jeg skal gøre ved det, for et eller andet sted er jeg bare gravalvorligt overbevist om, at det kan være ligemeget, fordi det alligevel aldrig bliver bedre, for sådan er livet bare. Jeg har bare lyst til at rejse væk og være teenager igen eller sådan noget. Jeg vil være der, hvor fremtiden ikke var lige nu og her. Jeg er så træt.

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