#See a Toriel? She needs a Sans

[topazshadowwolf]

Just out of curiosity, are there any other UT, UTMV, or Deltarune ships that you like/actually ship yourself? You do soriel better than just about anyone, but I am curious.

Not really? I mean there are other ships I like, but not to the extent of Soriel. First, I’ll admit I am fond of m/w or het ships. I can see the appeal of the others but that’s just my personal preference. Next I’m “meh” about Sans being ship with alternate versions of himself. Some I can see the appeal, and have seen some cute art. It’s just not my thing and that's like... 99.9% of UTMV ships. Lastly I am so busy with work and writing UT and UTMV that keeping up with DR is not happening right now. Which is why I have not updated my DR Soriel fic Chocolate Kiss.

There are some very rare pairs I like:

… my monstersona and Grillby is a ship I like…

A friend from Soriel discord has a dog monstersona that is shipped with Asgore that I like.

And another has this absolutely beautiful bird monstersona that is shipped with Papyrus.

Now there is one ship I do like that is often hated (and I honestly hate it 60% of the time too) but I have also gotten to like it at times. Mostly there is just one artist I enjoy seeing art from concerning the ship now. And if you are willing to hear me out about why I'm willing to stand up for this ship, then click read more. But this is concerning Frans.

So… my first experience with Frans was with art and a clearly underage Frisk, So, I was initially disgusted with the ship and wanted nothing to do with it. But then I saw another artist draw an adult Frisk with Sans and I loved her style and went in open minded.

As I poked about, it just felt like self shipping to me which I have no problem with. Frisk really doesn’t have a canon age. And yes,“child” and “kid” are used, but MK says we are a kid because of our striped shirt. So… could be possible that monsters were assuming Frisk is a kid because that is a cultural norms for them and we aren't looking shriveled and old. Frisk could be a short 27 year old and the monsters might be like "that's a child." And what if Frisk isn't that short? What if monsters are tall?

Basically, we play as Frisk, and I know we aren’t Frisk in the end, but in a way we are. I am still moving Frisk when the character tells everyone the name Frisk. It feels like, at that point we are in harmony. So I can’t say Frisk isn’t as old as we were when we played. And if that is the case, Frisk has our personality or at least agrees with what we did. So it is up to player interpretation what Frisk's canon age is.

I do still HATE underage Frans. But if it’s clearly an adult Frisk I am open to it. It is nice when done right. That said, i far prefer dad Sans and so I don’t ship Frans like I do Soriel. But that also means I do get some enjoyment out of it when Frisk is clearly and adult and it is done right and not just a bland self ship to get in Sans pants... I've seen that too and don't like it either.

[wickjump]

cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom cross calling xtoriel mom

[spectascopes]

Attempting to create pokemon teams for undertale characters... do not disturb me during this tumultuous time

(and by that I mean give me thoughts and suggestions if you have any LOL)

[lynxgriffin]

Eldritchrune - Dreemurr of Jokes

1 | 2 | 3

Story Setup Eldritchrune Masterpost

Toriel stops by Sans' shop for some goods, and for some more cheery distractions! Unfortunately, all this time later, it's still too difficult to escape reminders of what's been done.

It was fun finally getting to do some stuff with Sans in this universe! The last part for this trio of scenes will be up sometime next week!

Alt text for these pages is under the read more:

Page 1 Panel 1: Interior shot of a small store, with displays of goods, loose plywood, sacks of things. Two circular woven hangings bracket the door through which Toriel enters, a heavyset woman in a polka-dotted dress with a basket over her arm. Sans watches her enter, though we see only the back of his head. 

Panel 2: Toriel enters the shop and we see more displays, mostly food. There are large potted trees as well, and the shop’s counter, draped in patterned cloth and decorated with candles. Toriel: “Well, hello again. I was wondering if you had-” Sans, a jovial, bearded man dressed in loose robes and always smiling, waves a hand and cuts her off. “Hold on, you hear that?”

Panel 3: “...Hear what?” Toriel asks, nonplussed. Up close, her face is soft but distressed.

Panel 4: Sans leans over his slightly messy counter, still grinning. “I HERB that you needed some more cinnamon cloves, and look what I have here!” He offers a handful of herbs. Up close, the cuffs on his robe sleeves are patterned with little bones.  

Panel 5: “Just what I needed! How did you guess?” Toriel exclaims, reaching out with a real smile to accept the herbs. She and Sans are framed by other mysterious shop wares- jars of things, open sacks, rolled-up mats. Things you might find in an open-air desert market. 

Page 2 Panel 1: Sans: “Was just thinking it’d been awhile since I saw you making the neighborhood rounds with some of those pies of yours… Figured you were planning to start this month’s soon!” Sans gestures up at Toriel in explanation. 

Panel 2: Toriel smirks, setting down a handful of coins.  “And perhaps hoping that I would stop by your place first with them?” Sans: “I pride myself on my forward thinking, y’know.” His grin is conspiratorial as he leans towards her and he taps his temple with one finger. 

Panel 3: Toriel, eyes sad despite her smile: “All right. How about this: Tell me a good joke, and you have my word you will have the first and freshest one.”

Panel 4: Sans: “Just a good joke?” He raises an eyebrow. 

Panel 5: Toriel clutches her chest- we don’t see her eyes. “I find myself in desperate need of levity these days.” 

Panel 6: Sans waves his hand as if to keep her from feeling like she need say more, scratching his chin in thought with the other.  “Sure, I got one…” 

Page 3 Panel 1: Sans, with the smug grin of someone about to tell a terrible pun: “Why was the empire soldier happy to get demoted to horse groomer?” Toriel, with her hand on her chin in thought: “I do not know, why?” 

Panel 2: Sans shrugs widely like the answer is obvious. “Because he finally had STABLE employment!” 

Panel 3: Toriel laughs in genuine delight, although maybe a little harder than expected. 

Panel 4: Toriel: “Thank you, I needed that.” She smiles a relieved little smile. Sans: “No problem. So hey, aside from the pie… Can I maybe get an invite to those little get-togethers I see some folks around here doing once a month?” He steeples his fingertips together. 

Panel 5: San’s dialogue continues: “I’m so curious as to what goes on then!” We only see Toriel, though, shocked and dismayed. She’s thinking of the Ritual gatherings- townspeople gathered in their robes and animal masks- reindeer, fish, but most centrally, the goat masks she and Asgore wear. 

Panel 6: Toriel: “Unless you are completely enraptured by tedious talk of planting schedules and building repairs, I believe I can sate your curiosity by saying you would find them quite boring.” She waves a hand in front of her, dismissing the thought- her expression is once again drawn and weary. 

Page 4 Panel 1: Toriel turns to leave, waving goodbye. “You should look forward to your well-earned pie more!” 

Panel 2: Sans gives her a slightly skeptical look. “Alright.” is all he says. 

Panel 3: As she leaves, Toriel looks down and sees for the first time a small statue set by the door, surrounded by candles- it’s not a merchandise display, more like an altar. The statue is a horned figure holding a bowl filled with greenery- an offering of some type. The figure is rounded like a sitting child, and simple, with closed eyes and little other detail. 

Panel 4: Toriel’s dialogue over a close up shot of the figure: “What an interesting little figure you have. It does not look like it is for sale, is it?” The little horned one has three toes and four fingers on its stubby little arms and legs, and a detail on its forehead that could be a suggestion of hair, or it could be a symbol. The pillar candles surrounding it have been burned enough to have long wax drips pooled around them. 

Panel 5: Sans: “Nah, that’s just a holdover from my home country. Supposed to help keep demons out of your space.” He seems uninterested in this bit of lore, but Toriel, still facing away, is wide-eyed and shaken.

Panel 6: Toriel whirls back to him, sweating. “I-Is that so?” 

Panel 7: Sans’s expression intensifies, eyebrows dropping dramatically. “Sure thing. You know what happens when demons get in your grain stores?” 

Page 5 Panel 1: “They’re OATsolutely RYE-ined!” Sans holds his hands wide, like he’s waiting for the rimshot effect. It’s almost like his shop counter and back wall are suddenly a stage. 

Panel 2: Toriel hides a giggle behind her hand, relieved. 

Panel 3: “Is that something you have had to deal with previously?” she asks, stepping a little closer in her interest. Sans makes a slight gesture of dismissal. “Nah, I don’t really go in for that sort of stuff, honestly.”

Panel 4: Sans: “My brother, though… He’s all in on charms and wards and that sort of thing.” He gestures up, as if to point to wherever it is in the town that his brother might be now. 

Panel 5: “Keeping customs from your home country, I suppose?” Toriel asks, drawn again into the shop and closer to Sans. “Something like that,” he responds, leaning forward on his counter. On the wall next to him, there’s another woven wall hanging like the ones over the door.  Toriel: “Do you have any customs that have a reverse effect?” 

Panel 6: Sans looks as skeptical as one can while constantly grinning. “You mean like, if you want demons in your house?” 

Page 6 Panel 1: Toriel puts a hand up in denial. “N-No, that would obviously be undesirable! I meant more… just out of curiosity about your home.” 

Panel 2: Sans stares up at her, for a beat of silence. 

Panel 3: “Maybe? Again, this stuff isn’t my thing.” He leans back in his chair with his hands behind his head, nonchalant as can be. “And anyways, we left our country for a reason. Old customs aren’t relevant in this town, y’know?” 

Panel 4: Toriel once again turns to go, with a rueful smile. “Maybe not… but I cannot imagine letting go of your entire history.”

Panel 5: Sans shrugs and looks away. “There’s worse things to let go of, honestly.” 

Panel 6: Toriel, gritting her teeth, thinks of a happier time tucking Kris into bed. 

Panel 7: Close on Toriel’s expression, now more haggard and pained than it was when she came in. She clutches her chest tight. 

[inbarfink]

Any analysis of how Undertale deals with Pacifism and how it tries to guide the Player towards it has to take a deep look at Papyrus. Because Papyrus is the one character in the game who will never kill, the one actual ‘True Pacifist’ in the game’s main cast. 

I mean, the Player can be an even bigger Pacifist. Papyrus does still FIGHT, and the Player can get through an entire run without draining a single sliver of HP. But… they can also be the world’s biggest murderbastard and literally stab reality to death. 

Toriel would very much like to not kill, but she is also fully capable of doing so.

Same with Asgore, but he has a lot more actual blood on his hands. Undyne and Mettaton are both fully 100% willing to kill to accomplish their goals. Sans is non-violent in most runs because he’s too lazy and depressed to do anything, and when he is motivated into actions - it is in the form of a FIGHT to the death. Alphys… the timeline is a bit fuzzy cause both she and Mettaton love lying so much, but it seems like she did sincerely add deadly weapons to Mettaton cause killing humans would make him more 'useful' and then had second thoughts once she developed a parasocial relationship with the Human Child and THEN she and Mettaton started hatching their little play-acting plan. I think??

With Papyrus there is NONE of this ambiguity, we know for sure - no matter what timeline or what may come - The Great Papyrus will always choose MERCY.

And the interesting thing about that is on a Meta-Sense, Papyrus is a very rare example of the game giving MERCY towards the Player. 

Because the game starts out being really obtuse with the Sparing mechanic and how it works. If you want to be a Pacifist in Undertale from the get-go, you’re gonna have to work for it. You're gonna have to figure it out on your own and commit to it and believe that it's possible. It's basically a test of your own belief in non-violence and your moral integrity. Then, the RUINS end with the Toriel boss battle - in a way, that’s probably the hardest Sparing puzzle in the whole game. And it’s very very easy to accidentally kill her. (I’d almost say that’s the intention of the battle, to try to goad the Player into Resetting so they can see how the game remembers across RESETs)

And then we have Papyrus, and it’s not just that his ‘Sparing Puzzle’ is something as simple as outlasting him and letting him run out of dialogue - and it’s not just that he’s the only boss that will just give up and let you continue if you lose to him enough times. it’s also that, just as Papyrus is the only boss incapable of accidentally killing the Player - he’s also the only boss that the player is incapable of accidentally killing.

(Okay, fine, to be pedantic, there’s also Asgore)

I mean, the Player can certainly kill him if they want to - but draining Papyrus’s HP just makes him skip through his battle dialogue right to the end of it. It’s designed in such a way that, no matter what Route you're on and no matter what approach you take with Papyrus - you will always end up on this screen.

Unlike basically any other Monster in this game, including the major boss battle just before him - you can’t kill Papyrus accidently. You can't kill him without also having Sparing him as an option. The game kinda treats killing Papyrus as one of the Worst Things You Can Do because killing Papyrus will always be a deliberate, considered action done to a person who will not kill you and who has stopped wanting to FIGHT and has extended a hand of Mercy. With the game clearly communicating what you need to do to Spare him at that moment.

And that means that - even if you killed before, even if you don’t have the patience of a True Pacifist, even if you spent all this time in the game without even trying to engage with the Sparing mechanic… as long as you don’t want to be a Huge Rat Bastard, the game is basically gifting you with the very very easy option to not be. Being a Pacifist in Undertale is usually a challenge - a puzzle to be solved, a test to pass. But as long as you aren’t intentionally trying to be the Worst Person - the game is basically giving you Papyrus. 

If you accept his Mercy, you are accepting the game’s Mercy. That sort of benefit-of-the-doubt assumption that maybe all of the LOVE you might have accumulated so far was all due to honest mistakes or panic or an attempt in self-defense. That you still deserve this one chance to prove that you are not intentionally, maliciously cruel - or at least not like the Worst Person in the World. Even if you did kill before, you still deserve at least one friend.

And Sparing Papyrus leads you to his wonderful Hangout/Dating Sequence and to his Phone Calls and they all add so much wholesome charm to the Undertale experience and no matter what happens Papyrus will always think the best of the Player and he will always trust them and it also makes Sans also kinda your buddy by default. And more than just adding a little bit of wholesome charm into even the more LOVE-filled Playthroughs, I think this is meant to try and incentivize these players into trying out the Mercy mechanic a bit more.

Whatever it’s, like, for future playthroughs or Resetting the game right there to try a True Pacifist Run right there and then or just trying to be a little kinder for the rest of this current playthrough - especially since there’s an emphasis about the close friendship Papyrus has with the upcoming boss Undyne, and to a lesser extent with his idol and next-next boss battle Mettaton. It’s like “well, if you didn’t figure out how to spare before, this is how you do it? And isn’t it nice to have a friend? Isn’t it nice to not have to kill this lovable skeleton man? You should do this more often wink wink nudge nudge!”

And it’s like… all of Papyrus’ loved ones care about him so much but they also look down on his pacifism. They see his inability to kill and desire to make friends as simple naivete and that’s why all tend to hide the truth from him all the time. About what will happen to the Human he will capture, about what his new Human friend might’ve done, about the fact that they view him as so naïve. 

They admire it on some level, that’s why they want to protect it, but they also see it as a weakness which is why they want to protect it by lying to him all the time. But, you know, Undyne says that if Papyrus goes into battle he’ll be ‘ripped into little smiling shreds’ and that is certainly what happens every time a Player chooses to refuse Papyrus’ Mercy and the game’s Mercy and press that FIGHT button…

But have you thought about all the times that doesn’t happen? All the careless or violent players who were offered that skeletal hand of friendship, accepted it and then carried that offered kindness forward for the rest of the game? All the players motivated to do good for the sake of their buddy Papyrus? All the Murder Routes stopped because the player just didn’t have it in them to kill someone who believes in them so earnestly?

Like, no, it’s not a surefire thing - especially since Papyrus has so much less narrative power than the Actual Unkillable Time God that is the Player. But it happened, and it happened many many times to many players. Papyrus offered Mercy, the game offered Mercy. And much like Frisk’s Pacifism, it comes from a place of seeing the honest goodness in your ‘enemy’ and can inspire them to become a better person - this little sparkle of goodness being passed forwards. 

And I think that’s beautiful, even if it didn’t happen in every timeline. Any potential future where Papyrus’ kindness can have such an effect on the Player and thus the entire trajectory of the Underground validates his kindness and pacifism on some level - even if there are also always the potential worlds that it backfires completely. 

And there’s also one other way in which the Great Papyrus Proves Pacifism Pays. One that is a bit more practical, perhaps. And one that Papyrus himself is not even aware of. 

Papyrus’ boss battle can be a surprisingly challenging one specifically because he is the only one who doesn’t kill the Player.

Like there is a reason why Papyrus will just offer you to skip his Fight after you lose to him three times, because if he didn’t do that - there’s an honest risk that the Player can get stuck in a much stuckier way than anywhere else in the game. 

Because, like, for basically any other character in the game, being killed is the Worst Thing that could ever happen to them. For everyone except the actual Player Character because we are an Actual Unkillable Time God and dying is nothing more than a minor annoyance that sets you back to your last SAVE Point. So, leaving aside Papyrus’ admirably kind intentions - there is not much material difference from the Player’s perspective between getting Captured and getting a more traditional GAME OVER. Except…

Except getting Captured does not undo everything that happened in your inventory during the battle. In every other Undertale battle, if you use all of your items but still lose - the GAME OVER at least means you get your stuff back. But because Papyrus doesn’t kill you, any healing item you’ve used during the battle is still used. I have watched so many Undertale Let’s Players waste all of their valuable items on their first Papyrus battle and then have to face him again without them and thus do even worse in their second go… and then their third go... and thankfully then Papyrus offers them to skip the fight.

And while that technically can be circumvented by just manually closing the game and opening it back again on their pre-battle SAVE Point, a lot of players are gonna reflexively Save over it if they pop over to the Shop or the Snowed Inn before their second attempt at the battle. If Papyrus didn’t offer that chance to skip his battle, it could’ve easily become a softlock situation for a huge chunk of players - because he doesn’t kill the Player.

Most of Undertale deals with the value of non-violence from a standpoint of morality and kindness and personal connections. Since most people do die when they get killed. But when dealing with an Unkillable Time God like the Player, Papyrus proves that not-killing might actually be the most practical solution.

Of course, it doesn’t seem like Papyrus is aware of any of this. From his perspective, he is just offering genuine mercy to a being just as ephemeral as he is. But it accidentally turned into one of the most effective methods of blocking the Player’s way… at least he didn’t offer us an opt out so soon after that. 

And it’s interesting when comparing him to how his brother Sans - one of the few people actually aware of the existence of SAVEs and RESETs - deals with the Player. Because the Sans boss battle at the end of the Murder Route is entirely based on the concept that death is nothing but an annoyance to the Player. Sans is less trying to kill the Player (the way Undyne the Undying did), he is simply trying to annoy the Player into a ragequit. But he is still killing the Player.

Now imagine a Sans battle where he has all of his usual annoying tricks, but also instead of killing you - he captures you just like his brother would’ve in a happier timeline. And while it’s not a fool-proof plan to stop the Player in their tracks - he could very easily stick them in that sort of softlock situation where they have to battle him again and again without any Healing Items. Forcing them to either abandon the game or RESET the whole world back the way it was - just like Sans wants them too. 

But instead, by killing the Player, he is just allowing that perfect second-third-fourth-fifth-sixth-try where they get all of their Stuff back. And he does actually knows that. And why doesn’t he do that? (Speaking here from an in-universe character study perspective. Obviously the Doylist answer is that the game doesn’t want to Softlock you even in the most deliberately-frustrating part of the game).

Maybe, even though he intellectually knows that killing the Player will be of no help - he still does it because he wants to. Because he just wants to get back at the evil murderous monster that took his brother from him and destroyed his entire world even if he knows it’s actually ineffective. And this thirst for bloodshed is, ironically, blinding him from a new exciting way to actually practically stop that murderous bastard who is themself motivated entirely by bloodshed. 

Maybe he just can’t do something like that. Reducing an enemy to exactly one HP and then stopping is not a feat anyone else in the game is capable of pulling off - even the ones who would obviously use such a thing (like Toriel or a Player with a Pacifist intentions). Maybe it’s something that requires a lot of hard practice and discipline and carefulness, that Sans never thought to put in because he didn’t see it as a useful skill the way Papyrus did. 

Maybe that wouldn’t have worked anyways. After all, and that’s something I kinda touched on in a previous Overly Long Rambly Hot Take - Sans’ War of Attrition against the Player is greatly helped by the fact he can’t remember every single previous try and so he can’t get exhausted the way the Player can get. Obviously, without a GAME OVER induced RESET that will not apply. Which is especially notable because… Sans’ laziness is literally what brings him down at the end of that Boss Battle. 

So maybe, while Papyrus, as long as you decline his offer to skip the battle, is capable of offering just the same Battle as before over and over and over again.... It’s possible that Sans just won’t be able to pull off two or three or more battles of the same intensity and difficulty in a row without a RESET to undo his own exhaustion. 

But I think it’s at least worth considering the option, y’know? That after all this time of viewing Papyrus’ kindness as sweet-and-yet-kinda-foolish-naïveté - that exact viewpoint made Sans overlook the perfect solution to dealing with his little Murderous Time God problem. Cause he just never considered that while killing might be fully morally justifiable in this situation and very very satisfying, that does not necessarily mean it is actually the most practical solution. And that maybe, in a weirdly twisted way, Pacifism WAS the answer.  

[carlyraejepsans]

Technically speaking, he was a light sleeper.

Which was just hilarious for two different reasons. One, he topped at twenty pounds soaking wet—and that was after he'd reached for the towel. The joke basically wrote itself. The other reason was, of course, that nobody believed him. Honestly, he could kinda get it. It's pretty hard for irony to escape him, even on a bad day. The way he saw it, though, maybe he wouldn't take as many naps as he did, if he just managed to get one to stick.

...heh, nah. Probably not. Late to rise, early to bed, makes a man lazy or clinically dead, or however the saying went. Still.

The kid stiffened against his ribcage and that was all it took for his eyes to fly open.

The popcorn ceiling of the living room stared back at him through the darkness in all its tacky glory. Now that's another joke that writes itself. It wasn't a movie night at Tori's without some comment about her taste in decor. That always earned him a round of groans. Or a halfhearted pillow to the head. It was one of his favorite moodsetters.

His hand dangled in the air at his side. Not on the floor. Just a few months earlier, that alone would've told him he wasn't in his room, but oh boy, had things changed. He had a bedframe now, not to mention enough self respect for one. AND fitted sheets—that was a lifetime first. You had to be careful not to fall off, but all things considered, it was the fanciest bed he'd slept on since he'd tried using his worker bonus at MTT's. If he risked falling off the bed now, he'd risked never finding his way out then. Not to mention the guy in the other room calling for room service the entire night. He almost retired the midnight snacks bit on Undyne out of sympathy the next time she came over.

Almost.

The kid's head twitched.

Right. Popcorn. Living room. Springy mattress. He didn't need to smoke a pipe to realize he'd fallen asleep on the sofa. Didn't need a goofy hat either to see that someone must've thought he'd make a good pillow. Go figure. He'd gotten real good at making himself look softer under his clothes, but still, it wasn't exactly the kind of magic a guy could keep up with his eyes closed and a pillow behind his head. He just hoped they weren't too uncomfortable.

He must've dozed off sometime after Papyrus left the house and Toriel turned in for the night, 'cause nobody had stopped by to throw a blanket over him. Most nights that would've been fine. Nice thought aside, skeletons didn't really feel cold "to their bones", on account of lacking all the soft and fleshy stuff on top of 'em.

Yeah, well. Most nights. Most nights he didn't have a human kid sleeping on top of him, either.

Sans looked down. He resisted the urge to blow a strand of hair out of their face.

Most nights, skeletons didn't have hearts beating against their ribs.

Ba-dum—ba-dum—ba-dum.

He would've asked them if it felt any different, having it beat on the other side of their ribcage, if they hadn't already crawled their way inside his months before.

Heh. Not like they hadn't done the same with everyone else. Or ever asked for permission, the little freeloader. But he supposed that part came free with being monsters. The whole HOPE and compassion and everything nice kinda shtick. As a rule, they were, uh, very prone to attachment. It was hardwired into their SOULs or something. Of course, he knew better than anyone that compassion had its cost, and he'd ran low on HOPE for a long, long while, but...

There was a ray of light coming through the kitchen at night like he hadn't seen in an even longer time. The kind with a moon and stars hung at the other end of it.

Yeah. Maybe he could afford something nice for once.

Frisk stirred again. He kept as still as possible as they wriggled around, pushing themself off of him—trying, he assumed, not to shove their boney little knees somewhere unpleasant.

Then they flopped to their side and fell to the floor with a thud.

See, THAT'S the kinda issue you don't have when you have no self respect.

Slowly, the kid got to their feet again. They stood perfectly straight for a moment, then took an unsteady step forward. Then another.

To call it "walking" would've been an act of mercy. It was more of an ambling. Maybe a shambling. Sans watched their journey towards the kitchen mentally listing of adverbs. Stumbling. Fumbling. Trailing. That one didn't have a mbl in it, points for originality.

Mostly, he was ecstatic. Nothing made for fun breakfast stories quite like sleepwalking. And well, he hadn't had one of those since Papyrus turned fifteen and stopped sleeping entirely.

When the kid finally reached the fridge, they all but shoved their head inside it. He heard them do... something in there. There were definitely teeth involved. He was about to ask them to bring some goods back to homebase.

The door of the fridge clicked closed.

He didn't.

Then, he almost made a joke about forgetting their headlights on, but thought otherwise. He was glad he'd left his own off.

Besides, it was the taillights that were supposed to glow red.

Eyesockets dark and still pretending to sleep, he kept watch as the kid turned around and retraced their shambling steps to the living room like a miniature zombie.

Halfway to the sofa, they stopped, making a small sound like a grumbling of annoyance. For a second their eyes grew even more unfocused.

"Sleep," they rasped out in a low, halting whisper, "I saved you a crick in the neck."

It took him a second to register that the kid wasn't talking to him. Mostly 'cause Frisk didn't speak. To him. Or ever.

By the time they reached their starting point again, his excitement had died off into quiet confusion and quickly curdled into caution. They stopped at the edge of the sofa and fixed him with a stare, looking at where they'd been sleeping before. Sans waited.

"I am not doing that," they rasped to themself again.

Then they climbed onto the other end of the sofa and curled around themself as small as possible. So tightly it looked like they wanted to tuck their tiny body into a ball.

When they stopped moving, they didn't move again.

Sans didn't lift a finger. His brain whirred in his skull, ready to chalk up the past few minutes to the sleepwalking and forget they ever happened. Staring up at the popcorn ceiling again, though, he couldn't shake off a wave of uneasiness; like he'd seen something he wasn't quite supposed to put together.

Any man would've spent the night awake.

He cast a glance at the kid, huddled in their corner. There was no heartbeat against his ribs now: something about the silence felt foreboding.

Sans closed his eyes.

Ten minutes later, of course, he was out like a light.

[merlinmarvelandother-oneshots]

undertale characters seeing your underfell self

gn!reader

romantic or platonic

includes: Flowey, Toriel, Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, Asgore

light cursing

Flowey:

-he laughs

-"you're less of an idiot than i gave you credit for! you finally accepted the rules of the world, kill, or B E K I L L E D"

-to your annoyance, started following you around

-he tries to give you fighting tips, but after you kick him in the face, he stops.

-he likes this new you

Toriel:

-"why, what a dreadful universe! it has brought hate into an innocent SOUL."

-tries to help you win fights with MERCY

-"listen, lady, I don't know who the hell you are, but you need to stay out of my god damn way."

-Shes NOT giving up on you

Sans:

-"well, shit, kid, what the hell happened to you?"

-watched in shock as you punch a monster for stepping on your foot

-he doesn't step in, though.

-he knows he can't change you.

-more importantly, he knows you aren't his.

Papyrus:

-"HUMAN, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE SO HARSH!"

-his smile, while unmovable, its authenticity falters as he watches you stab a monster to 'teach her a lesson'.

-tries his damnest to get you to see the world positively again

-even after you hold a knife to his throat

-...you do realize he can't 'bleed out', right? he's a skeleton.

Undyne:

-when she sees you attack another monster, she fights you to teach you a lesson.

-you fight until you reach very low HP

-"THERE, NOW DO YOU GIVE UP?!"

-her jaw drops as you spit the blood out of your mouth and walk away.

-what happened to you?

Asgore:

-his eyes soften

-you don't want this, surely?

-it must be an act. to look strong. it had to be.

-if it wasn't for the pessimistic outlook on life and the willingness to attack at the drop of a pin, you were the exact same!

-but he knew he had to stay out of your way.

-unless, of course, he could figure out how to make you see the world well again.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Skeleton has S/O that brother doesn't know about and brother is confused when he comes home with cartoonish lipstick marks on his face. I love your writing so much <3

Undertale Sans - Oh it's a big brother time. Sans is so going to tease Papyrus to death, one pun after the other, as Papyrus is desperate to hide how red his face is. Sans is not letting that one go. He waited his whole life for this to happen and loved seeing Papyrus lose all his confidence, trying to justify himself very badly.

Undertale Papyrus - He never thought he would see the day. Sans has always been very discrete about his relationships and he's good at not answering Papyrus' questions or distracting him until he thinks Papyrus forgot. But Papyrus was not fooled and KNEW there was something weird with his brother. And now that there are evidences Sans can't hide anymore, Papyrus is going to harass him with questions. He's curious now. What do they look like?

Underswap Sans - His soul misses a beat. The hell? Blue stares at his brother with wide shocked eyes. He never expected his brother was see someone? Honey is usually pretty obvious when he's in love, and Blue is shocked he saw nothing. Huh. Anyway. It's time to investigate. He wants to know what's going on!

Underswap Papyrus - He rolls his eyes. That's definitely not the first time it happens. Blue does this effect on people sometimes. He doesn't assume it's a romantic interest, as he's pretty sure some grandma he helped cross the road did the same thing once. He's curious though.

Underfell Sans - He stares at Edge in shock, then smirks loudly. Edge cracks his neck towards him and asks if he has something to say. No, no. He doesn't have anything to say. But he's definitely taking a picture as soon as he looks away to send Undyne. Edge is not happy about this.

Underfell Papyrus - Urgh. Red is parading around the house, clearly proud of himself. It makes him want to puke. He's not jealous or anything (yes, yes he is a lot). Red knows exactly what he's doing. Is he trying to assert dominance? Because Edge can assert dominance too.

Horrortale Sans - He stares. Longly. Mainly because his brain is trying to process what monster or human could be as tall as his brother to kiss him on the top of his skull. That's very suspicious. Actually, he only knows one monster tall enough to do that and that's Toriel. Now, he's not judging but he didn't think Toriel could like his brother like that. That's when Toriel points out that his brother looks really smug. Uh. He forgot she was right next to him. So that's not Toriel? But who then? He needs to know. He notes the incident in his notebook. He knows Willow won't talk but he has other ways.

Horrortale Papyrus - He struggles not to laugh as his brother looks at him in complete confusion. Oak clearly forgot he has lipstick marks all over his face and he is completely oblivious to why his brother, and later Toriel, are laughing at him. He even gets defensive when Willow finally has enough pity to clean him. You don't give him a bath! He will bite you!

Swapfell Sans - Rus is looking at him with a smug face, clearly proud of him. "hey bro you know what i did tod..." "I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR ROMANTIC LIFE. I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER I DON'T WANT YOU TO REPORT TO ME EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A WOOHOO SESSION WITH YOUR HUMAN THANK TORIEL. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ALWAYS TELLING ME THESE THINGS?!" Rus just smirks. Then as he leaves, he randomly says "actually there were two humans". Nox just screams as Rus chuckles at his reaction.

Swapfell Papyrus - Rus' eyes light up as Nox passes next to him, the face entirely purple. Nox tries to speed to escape him, but Rus puts his legs in the way, making him gasp in offense. "so how was your... what you said again? ah, yes, woohoo session?" "SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHY ARE YOU EVEN LIKE THIS?" "the guy who was supposed to educate me joined the royal guard at 12 and let me get horny all alone for the first time" "RUS YOU'RE THIRTY YEARS OLD." "stop changing the subject. was it that human that came yesterday? are they hot?" Nox leaves, face entirely purple. He doesn't want to talk about this!

Fellswap Gold Sans - What. What? What! Hell no! Who the hell is trying to steal his brother? Wait, when did his brother find someone? Why did his brother not tell him? Is the human threatening him if he tells him? Wine is upset, he needs to investigate. He's worried.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Coffee is a bit shocked. That was clearly not planned because Wine would have never showed up like that otherwise. That's the first time Coffee actually sees him blush. That's also probably because Coffee wasn't supposed to be home. Now, Coffee knows better than to tease him because he knows his brother is a grumpy old man. But he's happy for him.

[askfriskandcompany]

*asks the same question about who Frisk sees as their father figure but uses they/them because I'm a human with a brain*

Frisk isn't concerned with whether or not they have a father figure in their life or not. Found families need not conform to the an arbitrary nuclear family structure after all.

But if you're asking what they do on Father's Day? Asgore's the one who gets the Father's Day cards because whether or not he's specifically Frisk's father, he is THE father.

In actuality, Toriel is the only one who has authority over Frisk as a guardian. If Frisk misbehaves, she's the only one who can discipline them, for example. If Asgore or Sans attempted that, she would see it as undermining her authority.

-TQ

[corpupine]

I've been doing a lot of thinking...and I feel like I need to scream this out somehow even though I'm sure it's been talked about before (and I'm putting it under a readmore because it gets long).

No matter what, in any playthrough you do and any timeline you create.

UNDERTALE is a game about guilt.

You have Toriel, so guiltridden she couldn't protect her own children that she devotes herself to never letting another child leave again. And then they do!! over and over again, that guilt compounds until it's the center of her life and every choice she makes!!

And obviously Asgore, so guiltridden that he couldn't protect his own children from humans that he spends the rest of his days trying to get out and get revenge on them--as if that will stop the voices in his head saying, if you had been out there with them you could have stopped it, you could have stopped those humans from killing your children, and maybe he could have!! Or maybe not!! He'll never know and it eats him from the inside out!

Alphys, oh my sweet summer child this fandom does not deserve you!! Alphys, so guiltridden from her own perceived failures as a scientist that she began to try anything, anything to make the King happy, and it seemed to be working at first, and then it was so everlastingly worse, how can you cause something worse than death?? without even trying??

And it shows up in little ways, silly ways, too! Ways you wouldn't even think about as guilt! Undyne! She feels guilty that she won't let Papyrus join the Royal Guard so she gives him cooking lessons instead! Papyrus feels guilty that he's not in love with you after one date so he'll "keep being your cool friend and act like this never happened!"

SANS MY BOI don't even get me started. His guilt isn't as physically obvious but he made a promise to toriel, he promised her he would keep the human safe, and in timelines where you save everyone he follows you pretty much all throughout the Underground (even if he doesn't do anything to help smh) because he'd feel guilty not doing it, and in timelines where you kill everyone he feels guilty for not stopping you, AND in those SAME timelines he feels guilty for stopping you because it means he's breaking his promise to Toriel to keep you safe I!!! This boy can fit so much cosmic guilt in him!!!!

Asriel! FLOWEY!! Do you ever wonder if he feels guilty about being the one to wake up again? The one to survive, when Chara had to die twice?? He sits at their grave and he will do anything, anything to drown out those thoughts so he befriends and kills and torments and it's all the same and it's all useless!!

And their guilt compounds each others'! Toriel makes Sans make that promise because of her own guilt, which increases his! Asgore's guilt is what pushes Alphys so far past the limits of ethical science, because he increases hers!

And all of this, all of this, ALL OF THIS pales in comparison to you!!!

You!! The player! You return to the Underground after maybe accidentally killing Toriel or a few others because you didn't know, you never wanted to hurt them!! You listen to Flowey and you come back and you save them all!

You! The player!!! You cry at the ending and you'd feel guilty, so guilty about letting them all go, wouldn't you? So you ignore Flowey's pleas to let it alone, and you come back again, you say hello to your dear friends but this time it isn't the same, this time you kill them all because you want to see everything this game has to offer, might as well get your money's worth, the fights are cool, right?? And then you get hit with the most unsatisfying atomic bomb of an ending and the only thing left is your own reflection staring back at you from the black screen of your computer as the horror dawns, what have you done???

YOU!!! The player! You go back again even though there is no Flowey left to tell you to, and you save them all again because I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, nobody deserves what I did to all of you, and it's all good, nobody remembers, and then you get to the end. The game knows what you did!!! It never forgot, and it'll make certain you never forget either!! Guilt!! Guilt, guilt!!! It's baked into the code of this game!!

Anyways tl;dr, maybe it actually did make sense to give this game to the pope

[fallen-mario-bros-au]

Aight just a warning I'm pretty new to Tumblr and I'm DEFINITELY new to making AUs so I'm pretty nervous to post anything here but I figured I'd just rip the band-aid off.

FIRST POST HYPE!! :D

Anyways I love Mario and I love Undertale and I NEEDED TO COMBINE THEM LEGALLY so I decided to make an au about it! Dunno if I'm actually going to do anything serious with this, I mostly just want to imagine cute shenanigans with my favorite characters and whatnot, but who knows? Maybe I'll actually try to give this a proper plot

So here's the basic info:

- Mario and Luigi, in the midst of trying to chase down Bowser, who has just kidnapped the princess again, somehow wind up far away from the Mushroom Kingdom and on Mt. Ebott. Where, of course, they fall into the underground.

- All the monsters are pretty much their canon counterparts (at least, my best interpretation of them 💀)

- Mario ends up discovering he has the power to reset/load/save/etc, but Luigi does not. This is because Mario has the most determination to get out of here and save the princess

- Toriel isn't quite as overprotective of them as she would be if they were a literal child like Frisk, but she is still very motherly towards them because it's just kinda who she is. She would probably be concerned about them potentially attacking the monsters so she might make them promise not to hurt anyone. I still don't think she would want them to leave because Asgore would take their souls

- Honestly mostly this is just an excuse for the Mario Bros and the Skelebros to hang out XD

- the thing that is really interesting is that Mario and Luigi are not 1, but 2 humans, which means only one of their souls would be needed to break the barrier. This ends up becoming a real issue but I could see it being resolved in a few ways.

1. one of the bros self sacrifices so the underground goes free (much to the dismay of the other, and also my heart would break haha)

2. They decide to just stay in the underground instead of going home (but they would be pretty sad about it because oh no their kingdom is still in danger

3. ??? IDK tbh

- Since Mario can load saves, he's just constantly in this angsty cycle of trying to keep his bro from getting killed off ;;

- Not sure if Mario could keep the resets secret for long since Flowey would taunt them about it, but he definitely would be pretty closed off about it, especially to Luigi. He does NOT want Luigi to know about the horrible things he's seen

-ofc cut to Luigi being confused as heck as to why Mario seems to already know what's going to happen.

- they have cute sweaters because I said so

- not sure how omega fight would work, but either way Mario would have to fight to save both of them (probably all by himself :c)

- I want them to eventually do true pacifist but IDK how it would work so I'm not gonna think about it too hard rn

- Mario and Undyne having a friendly rivalry about who's the most heroic

- sans trying to convince them they could just stay in the underground and they're like "no we have to save the tiny mushroom people" and he's like "ur just like my bro fr"

- monster speculation about the purpose of mustaches

- It would be kinda funny if they had the firebrand and thunderhand since... Like... Humans aren't supposed to be able to do magic

- "are you sure you're humans? You're so small"

- *confused Italian noises*

Also here's some assorted doodles (I know the quality sucks 😭)

[voidandabyssal]

Heyyy sorry to annoy you with another ask but I really need this rn-

I stepped into a big shard of glass today because I am just silly like that /hj

Anyway,I wanted to know what will the skeletons react to there fem!s/o literally stepping on a piece of glass and trying to play it off as if she was alright-

Specific skelly boys:UT sans,HT sans,SF papyrus,SF sans,US sans,US papyrus

Have a nice day

the sillyness rlly hits hard, also I only did the first four, as per my requirements, sorry!

Sans:

his face drops completely when he sees your foot landing down on the glass

you and him were just joking around the kitchen, as usual

when you dropped a glass and it shattered completely.

he insists you sit down, though he's lowkey panicking a little from the blood

he'll never get used to the fact that humans just leak blood

eugh!

But he manages to lull you into sitting on the couch and quickly calls Toriel over

she's a much more experienced with human medical care

breathes a sigh of relief once your cleared to walk again

"thank the stars that's over, let's never get injured again"

Axe (HT sans):

you're not fooling him

sit back down!

he didn't spend years hunting down humans, learning what makes them tick just for his s/o to tell him she's fine when she's got a shard of glass sticking out of her!

he grabs you by the waist and plops you down on a chair

he yanks out the shard harder than intended and quickly feels guilty once he hears your yelp

he wraps your foot up and carries you to the couch

there, now you can't hurt yourself anymore :)

though you may be stuck on that couch for a while.

Axe needs some cuddles to feel better!

Mutt (SF Papyrus):

oh that's not good, that's really not good!

Blacks going to be so mad at the both of you

blood in his designer carpet and all

this time, it was Mutts fault.

you were both chasing each other around the house. Like some scarier version of tag

when Mutt corners you and you end up accidentally slipping and cutting yourself on the glass table

he feels so bad

Mutt just lifts you off the floor completely. He's not actually acknowledging anything you're saying he just panics

despite the tough front he puts on, Mutt never wants to hurt those he cares about

It scares him a little how easy it is to hurt you

Black (SF Sans)

"sit down"

"no, no, I'm fine, really!"

Black levels the most unimpressed look he can offer.

It quickly gets you settled back down onto the chair.

How you managed to injure yourself so quickly, he'll never know. He was gone for five minutes! How?!

Luckily Black came prepared, he knew, given that there was a human living with him now, that one day medical attention would be required

ergo, he bought a whole medkit to store inside one of the kitchen cabinets

It's a little overkill, but now the shard is out of your foot and its nice and tightly wrapped.

No infections in this household!

[stari-hun]

All fun and games until I start thinking about a Reverse 1999 x Undertale crossover

Medicine Pocket try to steal Paps bones with the Doggos

Vertin and Toriel interactions

Flowey trying to mess with Desert Flannel and getting their ass beat by Plappy “It’s kill or be killed.” “Desert Flannel, a professional athlete who trained her arcanum to be able to fight when she’s needs protection on odd jobs: Pappy, beat his ass.”

White Rum and Sans interactions

Grillby and Spathodea interactions with her screaming the second she sees him. He thinks she’s scared of fire but then she comes running back with Ulu like :DDDDD!!!!!!

Napstablook and Mesmer Jr friendship

EZRA AND SANS FRIENDSHIP. “Oh what a gorgeous mushroom, could this be a variant of lactarius indigo?” “Haha, nah kid, it’s just magic”

[utdrmv-confession-box]

Transcript: I think people forget that undertale toriel explicitly and Canonically is not called dreemurr, she outright says not to call her such in one of the phone calls but for some reason in post pacifist fics frisk is called frisk dreemurr even when she doesn't get back with asgore? Like don't get me wrong dreemurr is a cool name but if only toriel is adopting them they wouldn't be frisk dreemurr and their should be a good excuse for why they would be called that. (For example needing a last name for paper work purposes but in that case i could see toriel offering that frisk last name could be 'the human').

Deltarune toriel goes by toriel dreemurr likely do to the divorce being less drastic and her position as a teacher but it just annoys me in UT fics where frisk or her have the last name dreemurr even though she says not to call her such. Maybe I'm just picky but I also don't enjoy when sans or papyrus are given last names either 'sans gaster' sounds clunky and 'papyrus serif' also sounds weird why can't their last names just be 'the skeleton' that's so much funnier and in line with monsters being bad at names. Post divorce toriel should be 'the goat' because she is.

[karmaspidr]

Desert Sanctuary AU pt.2

Due to how many people liked this idea, I decided to develop it further. Here are the roles for the rest of Yellow's main cast as well as the cast of the original game.

UTY:

Feisty Four: Special Forces.

After the Sanctuary was established, Starlo told his friends that they would no longer be 'playing around' and that things were about to get very dangerous. He told them they were allowed to back out at any time they wished. They refused.

They are now essentially Starlo's five-star generals, in charge of training and leading new recruits. They each also have unique roles, important to the security of the Sanctuary.

Ed - He's Clover's primary bodyguard. Whenever the only human in the Underground is out in the open, Ed is almost always the one to accompany him.

Moray - They oversee the prisoners. Prisoners may include mercenaries sent to assassinate Clover, extremists, general law breakers etc. They are basically the warden and treat their prisoners fairly. However, it's been noted that those who attempted to kill Clover received slightly less food.

Ace - Head of investigations. He's the one who finds patterns in places patterns shouldn't exist. Uses his playing cards in his conspiracy boards because Clover told him about a character in a TV Show who did that and he liked the idea.

Mooch - Reconasince and Scavenging. The Dunes aren't all that plentiful in terms of natural resources. That is where Mooch's kleptomania comes in handy. She leads teams into the Greater Underground to gather materials they can't trade for and generally nobody would miss. She also steals information, using her innocent appearance and small size to get people to tell her things or find her way into their darkest closets. She sees the Lab as her greatest challenge.

Dalv: Scholar

He still lives in Snowdin and tries to avoid the conflict. This doesn't mean he's not doing his part. He, like many people on both sides, doesn't want these tensions to spiral into something everyone would regret. So he spends his time shifting through history books, diaries, personal recounts and human myths and legends to figure out exactly what happened during the Human-Monster War.

Original Game

Toriel: Caretaker of the Ruins

Her role hasn't changed from the original game. She heard about the movement and has made contact with them. However, she remains in the Ruins take act as the the first line of protection for any human that falls. After all, the Sanctuary is far from the main path.

Flowey: Observer.

When he realised that Clover wouldn't be going to the castle, he was furious. He believed that this timeline was another dud. However, he had the patience to wait, perhaps because of something Clover said under that Cherry Blossom tree. He realised that this 'Cold Civil War' was the most interesting thing to ever happen in the Underground, and has only ever Reset to save Clover from an assassin. He also believes this conflict to be the key to him getting the souls.

Sans: Royal Judge

Sans doesn't change much from the original game either. He doesn't really care about the conflict. Although, due to his promise to Toriel, he would point any human that leaves the Ruins in the direction of either Martlet or the Dunes.

Asgore had sent him to the Dunes a handful of times to 'judge' the residents. He always comes back with good things to say. He never mentioned the anger buried deep inside Clover's soul.

Papyrus: Member of the Royal Guard.

Due to rising tensions between the two sides, Undyne decided to recruit Papyrus into the Guard because of the increased need for soldiers. He's still a loveable goofball but now takes his role much more seriously. Has a close friendship with Martlet. Capable of killing Frisk depending on the route.

Undyne: Captain of the Royal Guard.

She is much more aggressive than in the original game and is the primary reason the two sides haven't made peace yet. Her anti-human views are stronger than ever she sees the Monsters in the Sanctuary as traitors and has compared them to a cult. Wants nothing more than to skewer Clover. The only thing holding her back is her dwindling respect for Asgore and Gerson's warning.

"Men like Clover can be an ally just as easily as an enemy. The key is not giving them a reason to see you as an enemy. You do NOT want to be their enemy."

Alphys: Royal Scientist.

She is not having a good time. She's under more pressure than ever, is watching Undyne slowly destroy herself and has blackmail hanging over her head. Martlet doesn't know everything in the True Lab but she has seen enough to make people ask questions. Ceroba used this knowledge to get Alphys to provide the Sanctuary with the minimal resources to sustain itself.

Mettaton: Entertainment Robot and Wild Card.

Mettaton isn't aligned with either side and is surprisingly neutral when reporting the conflict. He doesn't want humanity to be destroyed but also sees Clover and his allies as a threat to his own agendas. Has sent multiple mercenaries to collect Clover's Soul.

Muffet: Head of the Spider Colony.

Let's be clear. No one likes her, at least as an ally. Everyone knows that the moment you trust her with something she'll sell it to the enemy.

Asgore: Tired King.

Asgore is probably the only one having a worse time than Alphys. He wants this conflict to end. He doesn't want to watch his people tear each other apart. He truly believes that the Sanctuary is in the right. But he can't bring himself to surrender. There are still so many Monsters who genuinely believe in what he is doing and believe that giving in to the Sanctuary's demands would escalate the conflict further. He is too tired to give any grand speeches or to confront his mistakes properly.

After the first diplomatic meeting, he told Clover, "I should have taken back what I said that night immediately, no matter how many people cheered."

[smells-like-mettaton]

Happy birthday @carlyraejepsans!! Small birthday fic for you!!!

Word Count: 1 123

Rating: G

Summary: Papyrus and Mettaton enact an explosive plan to get Sans and the Queen together.

XXX

“Are you sure this will lead to an explosion of romantic feelings?” Papyrus whispered to Mettaton in their hiding spot behind a conveniently-shaped shrub. 

The convenience was artificially-created—he had been the one to trim this particular hedge in the shape of himself and Mettaton—but that was okay. Sometimes these things needed a little artificial flavor, or nothing would ever get done! 

He hoped Queen Toriel liked the artificial flavor of bombs. 

“Darling, nothing is more romantic than missile toe!” Mettaton replied, holding a long pair of binoculars to see through the hedge. “Just wait. This program hasn’t even started yet!”

Papyrus scooted closer, pressing one eyesocket to half of the binoculars. It gave him a pretty good view of his brother and the queen standing beneath one of the garden’s arches, where Sans liked to hang out and pick water sausages for his “illegal” hot dog stand. Mettaton had forged a note in Sans’s handwriting, and Papyrus had set up the missile toe—a tarsal-and-bomb combo Mettaton said was a hit on the surface—to create the most romantic atmosphere possible. Surely it would blow through Sans’s aloof exterior and compel him to confess his true feelings!

“Hey, Tori.” Sans hid a bundle of water sausages behind his back. Papyrus wasn’t sure why he bothered, since they both knew Toriel knew what he was doing with them. “Water you doing here?”

Papyrus suppressed a groan. Sans was never going to get anywhere with abysmal puns like that! It was a good thing he had such a brilliant brother looking out for him!!

Toriel laughed, though, because she was absolutely smitten by Sans’s slime-emitting charms. Somehow. 

“Oh, nothing mulch.” She smiled, her fangs poking out from under her upper lip. Papyrus had caught Sans grinning dopily at that smile more times than he could count. Not that Toriel would be able to tell, since Sans’s expressions were nearly impossible for anyone but Papyrus to read. “I hoped you might be able to tell me.”

She held out the note Mettaton had written. It had told her to meet Sans here for a special surprise. 

“Huh. Any idea who wrote that?” Sans asked, glancing around. 

Papyrus tried to keep his bones from rattling with anticipation. 

“It was not from you?” Toriel frowned. 

“Nope. It’s a pretty good forgery, though. They even got my i’s write.” He held the paper up to the sun lamps in the cavern ceiling, like he was trying to see through it. Mettaton hadn’t hidden any secret messages, though, as far as Papyrus was aware. “Hey, wait a second.”

While looking up, he’d apparently noticed the missile toe. Perfect timing!

“Hit it, darling!” Mettaton said.

Papyrus pressed the remote detonator. 

The bomb exploded with a BOOM of bones and confetti. It was loud, it was flashy, it was perfect! In fact, Toriel was throwing herself at his brother already!!

She tackled Sans to the ground, tarsals raining down on her back. Sans’s face, pinned near her shoulder, went bright blue.

“Are you alright?” Toriel asked him quickly, propping herself up on her palms. 

“Uh,” he said coherently. 

“Ugh, Sans, you’re blowing it!!” Papyrus hissed.

“Let the show go on,” Mettaton stage-whispered. “There’s still time for a grand finale.”

“Not sure about all right, but looks like I’m all left in one piece,” Sans finally said, still lying on the ground. 

“Thank goodness.” Toriel sighed shakily. “Perhaps I should not have disbanded the Royal Guard after all… I never would have expected such a cowardly attack…”

“Heh. I think you’ve got it the other way around.” Sans picked up one of the fallen tarsals. “This has the Royal Guard written all over it.”

“You mean—Papyrus did this?” Toriel’s brow furrowed.

Papyrus cursed. Ratted out by his own brother! Didn’t he have any sense of gratitude??

“Do you not think that is a little far-fetched?” Toriel asked, standing and helping him to his feet. “Perhaps he is being framed. Your brother has no reason to fight either of us. Unless our puns pushed him too far…”

“Nah, he’s not into that kind of pun-ishment.” Sans grimaced. 

“Then why…?”

“Because Sans is incapable of telling you how he feels!” Papyrus burst through the hedge, leaving a Papyrus-shaped hole in the Papyrus-shaped shrub.

“Hey, bro.” Sans sounded tired, and not at all surprised to see him.

“Papyrus?” Toriel gaped.

“And Mettaton!” Mettaton burst through his adjacent shrub.

“And Mettaton.” Sans sighed. “Nice job with the note.”

“Thank you! Having a built-in photocopier comes in handy.”

Toriel pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“What is the meaning of all this?” 

“Romance! Drama! Bloodshed! What else?” Mettaton beamed. “The producer isn’t supposed to be seen on set, but Papyrus made the executive decision to pull back the curtain, so here we are! Ready for our close-up!”

Toriel shook her head, but chuckled.

“Of course… well, that is sweet of you. But, I am afraid your script has an error in it.”

“An error?” Mettaton gasped with a hand to his mouth. 

“Yes. You see, I already know how Sans feels about me.” She smiled.

“You… what???” Papyrus’s jaw dropped.

Sans went pale. Paler than usual, anyway.

“What.”

She rested a hand on Sans’s shoulder.

“I did not want to press you on the subject. I have been alive for hundreds of years. I can be patient.” She gave Papyrus a stern look, and he shivered. “As you should learn to be, as well. It is terribly impolite to force someone to confront their feelings before they are ready.”

Papyrus looked away. He’d just been trying to help! Still, there was no fighting a look like that. He could only hope she decided to spare him.

“I see… My dating handbook must be missing a few pages,” he muttered.

“There was no force involved! Only the romantic catalyst of missile toe!” Mettaton insisted, hugging Papyrus close as if to protect him from Toriel’s glare.

“Missile…?” Sans snickered. “Okay, that’s funny.”

“I knew you would understand!” Papyrus said. Sans always appreciated a good jape!

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t try toe blow me up again. Just ‘cause ya missed this time—”

“UGH!! You are impossible!!! You are lucky the Queen puts up with you!!!”

“I think I do more than put up with him.” Toriel winked.

Sans blushed again. 

“Wonderful! That’s a wrap, darlings!” Mettaton waved with the arm that wasn’t squeezing Papyrus. “No need to thank us. Just order a jar of MTT-Brand Beauty Yogurt™ for your first date, and we’ll call it even!” 

Mettaton engaged the wheels in the heels of his boots and zoomed them away. The sound of Sans and Toriel’s laughter echoed behind them.

That was all the thanks that Papyrus needed.