#Secondary Infertility
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Just ignore this, I need to get some stuff out. I'm not looking for comments or anything, I just... this is hard, and this is my blog so I can say what I want.
I got my period this morning. Again. 39th cycle with nothing, not even a chemical pregnancy. And once again, I spent a week thinking the nausea and sore boobs could be, it could be, it might be, right? No.
I turned 38 this month. It's too late for me, I guess. But I can't say anything anywhere because I get "you have a beautiful child already" YES I know this. I am aware that I am blessed with a child who amazes me every day. It's been a honour to be her mum for the last 12.5 years.
But I have more to give. More love. And while blood is not the be all and end all, my daughter is not my husband's biological child. I dream about a baby with him. I dream of it constantly, have dreamed about it for the last ten years, and it's destroying me. We're not eligible for IVF because I already have a child. Whenever I approach the doctor for advice, I get "you should just focus on the one you have". I try to find forums and advice online and get "you're lucky you already have one".
Secondary infertility is a thing. It's tearing me apart. I have to watch other people close to me getting pregnant and enjoying their bumps. I have to bite my tongue when my husband's sister talks about her upcoming arrival while smoking a cigarette and declaring she won't get the baby vaccinated (plus we've been told attending the baby shower is non-negotiable, can't wait to endure that and try not to cry in front of people). One person I know already has two kids she does not care for (literally abandoned one), yet is pregnant with her third and still smoking marijuana. I had to avoid my friend while she was pregnant because I just kept crying, and that's not her fault, but I can't help it, I'm so desperate to be the pregnant one.
And I know that my tears affect my husband. The situation upsets him too, maybe not to the extent it upsets me, or maybe more because it upsets me. But he doesn't know what to say or do. There's nothing we can do, really. The tests show I should be able to get pregnant. I've lost the weight, I've changed my diet. But no, the universe says my heart cannot be whole. I don't know how to heal from this or accept that I will never be a mother again.
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I’m going to post this here because it feels relatively anonymous and weirdly satisfies my urge to yell into a void at the moment. Will be under a cut because it’s personal and has some triggering topics so if you choose to read, please mind the tags.
In 2022 I had my son.
Getting pregnant happened relatively quickly for me and I had an easy, healthy pregnancy. There were zero issues to speak of and I just kind of took it for granted that I’d be able to have the large family I’d dreamed of (we wanted three kids, but in all honesty if money and space weren’t factors to be considered I would’ve happily wanted more).
We started trying for baby #2 in September 2023 and got pregnant within 2 cycles. Great! This was actually quicker than my first pregnancy. Early December I started bleeding and my heart sank. We got blood tests done and then eventually ultrasounds, all of which confirmed we were having a miscarriage.
It was difficult, but I knew in the back of my mind that these things happen and they’re not actually that uncommon and the research said it’s pretty uncommon to have two miscarriages in a row. So, while I was very sad, I also felt hopeful.
We got pregnant again in March 2024, only to have another miscarriage at 6 weeks.
Then, I got another positive pregnancy test at the end of May which ended in a chemical pregnancy (basically a miscarriage but much quicker).
By this point I’ve been with a fertility clinic since the second miscarriage and they’ve done tests. Everything came back normal except my thyroid so shortly after the third miscarriage they put me on thyroid meds and I think “This! This has to be it! Everything will be fine now.”
I just found out on Thursday that I’m having my fourth miscarriage and I’m just not sure I can do this anymore. I want more children so badly but the toll this is taking on my health both physical and mental is really hard. But I’m also not ready to give up on my dream of having at least one more child and this is the hardest fucking decision I’ve ever had to make.
People will ask why I don’t look at other options and I’d love to but those other options are prohibitively expensive. Like, we’re not doing bad, but 10k for a private adoption is still a lot of money. If I want to try IVF that’s at least 20k with no guarantee that it’ll work. If I want to look at surrogacy they advise budgeting 60-80k.
I just don’t know if it’s in the cards for me anymore and the devastation I feel right now is like nothing I’ve felt before. And then I also feel guilty for feeling that way because I have this beautiful little boy who I love more than I could’ve ever imagined loving someone and there are some people who don’t even get that. So shouldn’t he be enough? Is it selfish to want more?
I don’t really have any answers to these questions, I still don’t know why or how I went from having a perfectly healthy and uneventful pregnancy to not being able to carry to term within two years. I don’t know if there will be any answers for me, in all honesty.
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I am IN TREATMENT for secondary infertility because of PCOS like I am actively on MEDICATIONS because I have not been able to get and stay pregnant again please withhold your advice to just “have sex every day” and “just stop worrying and have fun with it!” because if it was THAT EASY I would have my minivan of children already
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12.21.2023
The OBGYN practice that delivered Lovebug announced they were shutting down, so today was my first appointment with a new OBGYN.
I knew I wasn't pregnant, but seeing as it was technically possible and today is the day before my expected period, they had me test this morning before I came in. BFN, which again I was expecting, but it still stung.
I like my new doctor well enough. And she delivers in one of the best hospitals in the nation. So it was worth the drive.
Bittersweet that she pretty immediately agreed it was time to look into why I'm having trouble conceiving and sent me off for bloodwork. I'm glad I didn't have to fight to be taken seriously, but it's still upsetting to have that confirmation that, yes, this should have happened by now, that there is likely something wrong. She says if my bloodwork comes back normal, she'll call in an ultrasound to check that my fallopian tubes are blocked and for any other abnormalities.
I managed to make it back into town in time to shop for and attend Lovebug's Christmas party at daycare. While I was shopping for his teachers, I quickly picked out a baby blanket and some newborn clothes.
#mine#personal#momblr#homemaker#homemaking is for anyone#inclusive homemaking#motherhood#homemaking#ttc baby 2#ttc over 25#secondary infertility
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I hate the phrase "no one told me it would be hard" when it comes to TTC, motherhood, and all those other areas where people suffer in silence. Because it just reinforces how invisible those struggles are. No one told you how difficult TTC could be? You were not looking in the right place. No one told you how difficult the first days breastfeeding could be? Again, you must have just ignored the talk about it. They claim they were "informed" but I really don't agree.
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Secondary infertility will always be apart of me.
I went from struggling to conceive to struggling to believe its real. We just started our second trimester & we are so blessed to finally be carrying our child. I can't help but shake the anxiety and what-if's. Is it because we tried so hard for this baby?
#secondaryinfertility#secondary infertility#pregnancy#pregnant#christmas#infertility#henry infertility#indiana mom#indiana#ttccommunity#ttcjourney#ttc 2022#ttc community#ttc
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Understanding Secondary Infertility: Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Treatment
Secondary infertility refers to the inability of a woman to conceive after having previously given birth to at least one child. For many couples, secondary infertility comes as an unexpected challenge, especially when they have successfully conceived before. While it can be emotionally stressful, it is crucial to understand the reasons behind secondary infertility and explore the available solutions.
What is Secondary Infertility?
Secondary infertility is the inability to become pregnant after previously having a child without the use of fertility treatments. Even if a couple has conceived naturally in the past, they may face difficulties in getting pregnant again. This condition can be surprising, especially since many assume that once a woman successfully conceives, it should not be difficult the second time.
Who Can Experience Secondary Infertility?
Secondary infertility can affect any couple, regardless of age, ethnicity, or reproductive history. Various factors, including age and lifestyle, can impact a woman’s fertility, and they may develop infertility even after previously successful pregnancies. Read more
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Secondary Infertility: The Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment
If you’ve landed on this post, you’re definitely finding the answer, hope, help, and the way how to get rid of infertility after conceiving once before. The reality is, you’re not the only one who is facing this problem.
Secondary infertility might be quite challenging for women such as confusion, hopelessness, sadness, disappointment, and frustration. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been treated for secondary infertility, or faced trouble getting pregnant again, this blog post guides you a lot about it.
What do you understand by secondary infertility?
Primary and Secondary are two main kinds of infertility. Primary infertility explains not being able to get pregnant naturally, typically even after 6 months or 1 year of trying if the age crosses over 35.
While a woman with secondary infertility troubles conceiving after successfully becoming pregnant once in a life.
Secondary infertility, on the other hand, means an inability to get pregnant after having conceived naturally and given birth earlier. For example- if a couple has failed to conceive for 6 months to 1 year, even though they’ve had a baby in the past without a fertility procedure, they may consider secondary infertility.
You might face problems with multiple of the given below steps:
The ovulation stage (Egg released)
The egg fertilization with sperm
Meeting the fertilized egg with the uterus
The fertilized egg implantation in the uterus.
So, unexplained infertility has a long list of causes and diseases that can turn into a big problem. But, before highlighting them, it’s essential to understand that men and women both play an important in infertility.
Major Secondary Infertility Causes
The same causes can be identified in both primary and secondary infertility. The biggest thing to consider is that, in plenty of cases, infertility does not occur from your side. We understand this is not easy to cope with, but it can be effective to feel more empowered to get proof that might support you to experience a successful conception.
C-Section Scarring
A woman with a cesarean delivery in the past pregnancy might have scarring in the uterus, also called isthmocele. This isthmocele causes inflammation in the uterus that harms implantation.
The study in 2019 clarifies how isthmocele might be effectively or smoothly diagnosed to improve enhanced fertility. Once the isthmocele resolved through surgery, the woman smoothly conceived with the treatment of in vitro fertilization (IVF).
2. Ovulation disorders
Ovulation disorders are the main reason for most female infertility. Research shows around 45% of women with infertility are unable to ovulate consistently. Ovulating problems might be caused by multiple factors and conditions, including:
Slow egg growth with aging
Weight, alcohol or drug addiction, and nutrition can be some lifestyle factors
PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome)
POI (primary ovarian insufficiency)
Thyroid and endocrine disorders
PCOS is the most common cause of women’s infertility, as it encourages ovaries or adrenal glands to make a lot of hormones, preventing the ovaries from producing eggs. Cysts are another cause produced on the ovaries that interfere with ovulation.
But, don’t fear because there are a variety of secondary infertility treatments for PCOS available today. Consulting with doctors can result in a successful pregnancy in up to 75% of women with PCOS.
3. Autoimmune disorders
Autoimmune disorders and infertility have not been understood yet. Generally, autoimmune disorders affect the body to harm healthy tissues. Autoimmune disorders could also harm reproductive tissues.
Autoimmune disorders including Hashimoto, rheumatoid arthritis, and lupus affect fertility by causing inflammation in the uterus and placenta. But, fortunately, medicines are developed to get rid of these disorders as well.
4. Infections
Pelvic inflammatory disease and sexually transmitted infections are the main causes of infections. These infections block the fallopian tubes. Infection – human papillomavirus (HPV) and its treatments, also affect cervical mucus and remove fertility.
But the hope is that the decreased fertility will be affected as soon as the infection is diagnosed.
Symptoms of Secondary Infertility
The most common sign of secondary infertility is being unable to get pregnant after having 1-2 children unnaturally. If a woman is younger than 35, she might be suspected of infertility after 1 year of trying to conceive. The meaning of trying to conceive is as having regular or unprotected sex.
While a 35 or more-year-old woman may detected by a doctor as an infertility patient after 6 months to 1 year of regular unprotected sex.
Common Secondary Infertility Treatments
If you conceived already, it may be quite hesitant, scary, complicated, and unidentified. However, the secondary infertility treatment begins after familiarizing its causes. Hence, your doctor may suggest several tests. These tests are:
Ovulation tests to check the uterus
X-rays and ultrasounds to check your fallopian tubes
Blood tests to review your hormone condition
A pelvic exam
Ultrasound with a transvaginal method
Uterus and cervix tests
Once you pass the above tests with no negative points, the doctor may recommend male infertility tests.
After letting you know the cause, the doctor will start making the treatment plan to enhance your chances of conceiving.
Let’s discover some effective secondary infertility treatments for women with infertility.
Advanced Reproductive Technology (ART)
ART is a common treatment for a successful pregnancy. Intrauterine Insemination (IUI and In vitro Fertilization (IVF) are the two most common in ART.
During IUI treatment, the sperm is received and mixed in the uterus at the time of ovulation. In IVF, a female’s eggs and sperm are collected. Then, the next step is the egg brought to the lab to be fertilized with the sperm where they convert into an embryo. And lastly, an embryo is inserted in the female’s uterus. The method is performed guranteedly.
2. Medications/ Antibiotics
Medications often play a crucial role in controlling the hormone levels. The ovulation stimulation can be normalized with the use consistent use of fertility-enhancing medications.
Since PCOS is the main cause of infertility, it’s good to determine that medication treatment takes place to improve ovulation for a good lifestyle including enjoying a healthy weight in case your doctor highlights weight is a common factor.
3. Surgical Procedures
Some unexplained secondary infertility cases need surgery. Doctors perform several surgical procedures to treat dangerous problems including uterine scarring, uterine fibroids, and advanced endometriosis.
After some unsuccessful measures, Laparoscopy has been discovered – a method to treat infertility problems with hysteroscopy as an effective treatment.
Surgery– definitely a scary word, but as mentioned it’s a surgical solution to your infertility problem, which is exactly good news.
Tips for coping with secondary infertility
We know coping with secondary fertility is hard. Tests, medications, appointments, and surgical procedures can be time-consuming but if you follow these tips, you can easily cope with infertility. A lot of women are facing problems over another pregnancy like conflict between you and your partner, and sadness when you invite another baby at home.
The list is uncounted. So, follow the effective tips for coping with infertility:
Be positive: Look for inspiring personalities– there might be so many stories around you. Talk to your relatives, family, or friends to meet a woman who faced the same experience in her life. Get close with here and share your situation. Learn from here like what doctors have suggested to her, and what contributed to her successful pregnancy.
Stop blaming yourself or your husband: Mostly, secondary infertility isn’t the result of anything you and your partner have done. Always listen to your doctor what he/she says about your current stage and follow the instructions.
Control Yourself as you can: To improve fertility, there are plenty of things you should control. Self-care is the top thing. Make a serious decision to follow a healthy lifestyle, and search for innovative ways that help you conceive. Share your ideas and perspectives with your doctors.
Build a healthy relationship with your partner: Your partner can be your pillar. Don’t overload the stress of infertility on your healthiest relationship. Spend quality time with your partner. Share what you feel and concern inside with a plan to forget everything. You both have to be strong to face this difficult situation.
Conclusion
Secondary infertility can harm anyone physically and emotionally. It can destroy you, your partner, and your beloved happiness. So, it is recommended to consult with an IVF specialist or doctor quickly about your situations, struggles, and dreams.
By following this guide, you can take the right path that will help you to conceive again. Stay positive, trust your supportive hands, hear some inspiring success stories, and never give up. Reach out to the best IVF centre in Varanasi to get a confident IVF and IUI treatment.
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Maybe deep down inside we somehow knew this little one would only be with us for a season
“This won’t affect your fertility” I was still groggy from the anaesthetic and doped from morphine but these were very welcome words from Dr Martin, our consultant gynaecologist. He had just removed a gangrenous ovary and fallopian tube from my left side. Rachel, our only child at the time, was 18 months old. By the time Rachel was 2 years old there was still no sign of a brother or sister for…
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#bereavement#gangrenous ovary#Laying on of hands#Poor Clare nuns#Presbyterian deaconess#Secondary infertility#Treasure the moment
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Secondary Infertility: Understand the Causes of Secondary Infertility at Indira IVF
Secondary infertility: Learn about the causes of secondary infertility and its impact. Watch the video in detail. For a better understanding, visit: https://www.indiraivf.com/blog/secondary-infertility-causes-symptoms-treatment
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Secondary Infertility – What Are Symptoms, Diagnosis And Treatment Options
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Secondary Infertility: Unveiling Causes of Secondary Infertility at Indira IVF
Secondary Infertility: Delve into the causes of secondary infertility and what it implies. Watch the video in detail. For a more comprehensive understanding, visit: https://www.indiraivf.com/blog/secondary-infertility
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Embarking on parenthood can be emotionally challenging, especially when dealing with infertility. Remember, you’re not alone—millions of couples face this struggle. Despite the difficulty, there’s hope.
In this blog, we’ll explore different types of infertility in males and females, shedding light on common challenges. Despite the hurdles, there are ways to achieve your dream of becoming a parent.
#types of infertility#primary infertility#secondary infertility#types of infertility in females#types of infertility in males
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04.17.2024
Devastated. I'm just trying to get through the work day without crying.
Got my period. And I was so hopeful this cycle.
This cycle, I got the strongest LH peak I've ever gotten. And Dearest and I did everything we were supposed to do for days leading up to and after, and had fun doing so.
This was the last cycle where if the HSG I had done in January were going to help us conceive, it would've worked.
And this failed cycle was the last shot at a 2024 baby.
Last Thursday was Dearest and I's 7 year dating anniversary (yes, we still celebrate). I also had my follow up appointment with my OBGYN post HSG and male specimen-analysis. Everything looks perfect, there's no reason I should not have had at least one positive yet. So she's referring me out to a fertility clinic to discuss my options.
One of my worst nightmares in unfolding before my eyes. I'm doing everything right. There's nothing "wrong." And yet here we are.
#mine#secondary infertility#unexplained infertility#infertility#unexplained secondary infertility#momblr#homemaker#homemaking is for anyone#inclusive homemaking#motherhood#homemaking#ttc baby 2#ttc over 25#personal
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Secondary Infertility: Unveiling Causes of Secondary Infertility at Indira IVF
Secondary Infertility: Delve into the causes of secondary infertility and what it implies. Watch the video in detail.
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Acquired Infertility and its cause | Santaan |Best fertility clinic in Bhubaneswar|
Acquired infertility refers to a condition which causes when you trying for your second child, It has many symptoms and signs similar to primary infertility. However, in secondary infertility, a woman is unable to get pregnant or carry a baby to full-term of nine months even after having a previous pregnancy effortlessly and successfully.
Acquired infertility can be discovered either one or both parent Visit Santaan fertility clinic one of best fertility clinic in Bhubaneswar, santaan fertility clinic recommended many treatments option with medication to boost ovulation like In vitro fertilization, or surgery. Visit the website to know more about acquired or secondary fertility. https://www.santaan.in/post/secondary-infertility-and-its-causes
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