#Second disclaimer: if you would like to comment please don't do it directly on this post | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yatagarasuhonyaku · 7 days ago

Text

The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 2 "Akeru" Part 2

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.

Blog version

For the Index, you can find it HERE

Previously: Akeru (Part 1)

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

Chapter 2: Akeru (Part 2)

“What do you mean? He opposed Father's abdication!?” Natsuka was so enraged that his question came out as a roar.

The guard who brought him the news, however, didn't even blink in response. “No matter how much you ask me—the Department of Worship has just made the proclamation that they aren't going to recognize His Majesty’s abdication. People believe it to be the White Raven’s sole decision, as His Majesty the Emperor has uttered no word on the matter. He remains in seclusion as per usual.”

“The Imperial Court must be a complete chaos now,” Rokon commented blithely. There wasn’t even a hint of concern coming from him.

The White Raven—the leader of all priests in Yamauchi. The very man who had once declared his younger brother the ‘True Golden Raven’ and asked Natsuka to renounce his right to the throne. He had been Wakamiya’s main supporter throughout the years. What was he thinking now of all times?

“His Highness Wakamiya is in the city at the moment, but we have already sent another messenger for him. What’s the plan, Lord Natsuka?”

“I'm going to the Imperial Court, of course.” There was no use remaining here, worrying himself sick. Natsuka stood up and quickly put on the coat his attendants offered him. “We’ll reunite with His Highness and go meet the White Raven together. Please, inform him to prepare to see us. Don't let the rabble establish any contact with him until we are done.”

“Understood.”

“You, come with me.”

On his way to the Imperial Court, the messenger who had gone to search for Wakamiya returned. Both brothers had apparently thought of the same thing, as, according to the man’s report, Wakamiya was already on his way to the White Raven's chambers. In fact, just moments after Natsuka’s carriage arrived at the Great Gate—the Imperial Court's front entrance— he caught sight of Wakamiya and his bodyguard’s horses landing there as well.

“Nazukihiko!”

“Brother, how’s the situation?” Wakamiya leaped off the saddle with a severe look on his face.

A few court officials saw them and started to make a racket. Natsuka moved to stand in between them and Wakamiya, as if protecting his little brother. “The door to the Department of Worship is sealed off now. They were the ones who made the announcement on the White Raven’s stead. I already told them to bring him out to talk.”

“What about the Ministers? What's their reaction?”

“None so far, but there are emissaries from the Four Houses already crowding the entrance to the Department of Worship. The door will have to open, it's only a matter of time.”

Wakamiya stood there in silence for a second. Finally he sighed weakly, as if expressing his wholehearted resignation. “We don't have the time to go through any intermediaries. Let's break through to the Main Temple and head directly to the Forbidden Gate.”

“As you wish.”

Wakamiya’s exclusive bodyguard, Sumio, who had limited himself to listening to the conversation up to that point, took the lead as they advanced. Wakamiya and Natsuka went right after him, surrounded by Rokon and his subordinates for protection. Just like that, they pushed forward through the Court's hallways.

Beyond the Hall of State Ceremonies, at the innermost section of the Imperial Court, were the Acting Golden Raven's private chambers. Normally, to go in without his invitation would be unthinkable, but they didn't have the time to care about that. Not now. Their destination wasn't even their father's abode, but the Forbidden Gate which laid past it.

It was said that Lord Yamagami’s Holy Precincts(1) were near the peak of the Center Mountain, inside of which the Imperial Court had been built. The Holy Precincts supposedly served as a pathway to the Outside too, which was why the Forbidden Gate existed to act as a divide between the Precincts and the Imperial Palace. The Golden and White Ravens’ tasks were to listen to Yamagami's divine will through the Forbidden Gate, perform the requisite religious services and so govern Yamauchi.

Such was the reason to have the Golden Raven's palace as the building closest to the Forbidden Gate. On top of that, the White Raven, as the head priest, was always waiting close to the Gate to ensure its protection.

Wakamiya forced the Hall of State Ceremonies, which had been completely closed off, to open. A few of the Acting Golden Raven's secretaries and ladies-in-waiting hurried there upon hearing the ruckus, shrieking at the scene. To be fair, even considering the present circumstances, to set foot in the Emperor's abode with a full group of bodyguards was too much of a transgression. In the end, aside from Sumio and Rokon, they left behind all their guards.

Under normal circumstances, the protocol dictated that they should have first established contact through the Department of Worship and therefore requested an audience with the White Raven, but there was no time for proper procedure that day. They dashed through the Main Temple as robbers would, headed towards the Holy Precincts’ boundary.

“His Highness Wakamiya, Lord Natsuka. I can't believe it—for you two to come here like this!”

Finally, just as they had gone through most of the Imperial Palace, a Yatagarasu dressed not like a Court Official appeared. His robes were white—they marked him as a priest and subordinate of the White Raven.

“I’m sorry, but nobody besides the Golden and White Ravens and their chosen priests can go any further.”

“The True Golden Raven has the right to be here. Besides, it's an emergency and we have already sent notice to the White Raven beforehand,” Natsuka himself announced before Sumio and Rokon even had a chance to open their mouths.

Although it was certainly possible that they had arrived before the messenger did, he decided to conveniently ignore that fact. The priest seemed to be at a loss on what to do. That is, until a few of his coworkers arrived from behind and whispered something to his ear—the shock on his face was plain to see.

The priests talked between themselves for some time while repeatedly glancing at them. Then, they finally faced the group with resolve in their eyes.

“......My apologies for the impudence. The White Raven shall meet with you at the Forbidden Gate. I'll guide you there,” he said this time around, before proceeding to politely lead them through the place.

What followed after another stretch of hallways, all covered in the usual Court decorations, was an old corridor. Unlike the usual wooden floor, this was made of stone. Waterways ran along both sides of it, branching off here and there to seemingly lead the water to a variety of locations. From the looks of it, its origin laid in the direction they were walking towards. They followed along its course, as if going upstream, until they reached their destination.

The hall was massive—even needlessly so—circular, and carved out of the stone itself. The height of its ceiling too was breathtaking. And there, just opposite the entrance Natsuka and the rest had come through, stood a gigantic door—so tall that one had to look up to contemplate it. The inner side of the hall’s arched stone walls had been cut in multiple places, each gash about big enough to allow one person to pass through, and, mysteriously enough, the same water flowing towards the corridors seemed to gush out from the stone itself.

This was Natsuka’s first time getting so close to the Forbidden Gate. For a while, he just stood still, taken by the strange atmosphere of the place. However, he soon noticed a familiar face standing in the middle of the room.

“Worship Consul…” After the White Raven had fallen ill a few years ago, the Worship Consul had been acting as his representative and handled all the religious services within the Imperial Court. He was a thoughtful-looking man, already nearing old age himself. “Why are you here? Where's the White Raven?”

“I came ahead due to the White Raven's poor health. While he's preparing to come over at present, I do believe I’m sufficiently qualified to explain his opinion on the matter myself.” With those words, the Worship Consul gave them a deep bow.

Natsuka and Wakamiya glanced at each other.

“Fine, let's listen then. Why did you oppose Father's abdication?”

“Wasn't the White Raven the one who told me to give up the throne in favor of Wakamiya over ten years ago? Why tell us to wait now? I can't understand it,” Natsuka asked right after his brother.

“That’s completely understandable,” the Worship Consul said as he lowered his head once more. “However, do please forgive us. This is a decision taken after much deliberation not only from the White Raven, but all the priests as well. We wouldn't have made such a proclamation if we had an alternative.”

“Then why? Tell me the reason,” Wakamiya commanded.

In answer, the Consul looked at him with imploring eyes. “Before that, could I ask for something?”

“What?”

“Could Your Highness Wakamiya open the Forbidden Gate……?”

While Natsuka was taken aback by such an unexpected request, Wakamiya himself didn’t hesitate to obey and do as asked. The Forbidden Gate had once been closed with a key bigger than Wakamiya's head, but the lock was already undone. As far as appearances went, anyone should be capable of opening it.

At first, Wakamiya pushed it like he would any other door. It didn't move an inch. Natsuka, incapable of just watching, even lent him a hand. They both tried to push the door open together, slamming themselves against it. It was all pointless.

The Consul dropped his head in defeat. “As I guessed.”

“What do you mean? What's the actual point behind this?” Natsuka raised his voice in anger, irritated by the Consul's incomprehensible attitude. Wakamiya too looked at the man with confusion. Seeing that, the Consul started to explain with obvious resignation.

“Nineteen years ago, when His Highness Wakamiya was born, the bells by the delivery room started to ring and the Forbidden Gate unlocked on its own. Up to that point, it was all as it has been transmitted within the Department of Worship. We all thought without a doubt that you were the True Golden Raven.”

Which was exactly why, at the time, the White Raven informed the previous Acting Golden Raven of the True Golden Raven’s birth as Wakamiya, and the news was shared with all of Yamauchi. The plan was for the then Crown Prince—His Majesty the Emperor at present—to never even ascend to the throne and to have his son, Nazukihiko, go through his coronation as soon as he was of age.

That was, of course, until something unexpected happened.

“The Forbidden Gate didn't open.”

“That's—”

“According to the legends, anyone should be capable of opening the Forbidden Gate once it’s unlocked. And yet, the gate has remained sealed despite its lock coming undone. Do you remember it, by any chance?” the Consul asked gloomily. “When you were still young, Your Highness, we brought you here once. We thought that, maybe, if you yourself tried to open it, it would work. However, the Forbidden Gate didn't even budge at your attempts. That was the first time that doubt on your status as the True Golden Raven took root.”

Natsuka's mind went blank for a second.

“...... Wait a minute. Why are you speaking as if His Highness Wakamiya isn't the True Golden Raven?” Sumio asked the Worship Consul in a shrill tone. He probably couldn't remain quiet any longer, given the gravity of the situation for his master.

The Consul’s only answer was to look away, much to Natsuka's own disbelief.

“Don't tell me that's your point. Are you truly implying that Nazukihiko isn't the True Golden Raven?”

While it wasn't the first time someone had expressed their doubts due to the sealed Forbidden Gate, he had never ever imagined the priests themselves would be putting his legitimacy into question. Natsuka had felt irritation before for their lack of a proper answer to the matter, but this was different.

“Don't fuck with me,” Natsuka growled.

Ever since his little brother had been proclaimed the true Golden Raven, Natsuka had gone through turmoil after turmoil. Thoughts of all those struggles, of the many times his brother had almost died, filled him. People had admonished them, told them it was the duty of those born in the Imperial Family and the True Golden Raven. Fueled by that duty, they had both endured the Imperial Court's many schemes and gone through such great personal pain. And yet!

No matter how much Natsuka tried to calm himself down, his body wouldn't stop shaking. “Are you going to just babble now, after all this time, saying it was all a misunderstanding!? You of all people should be fully aware of how much Nazukihiko and I have suffered until now. If you're saying it was all just a mistake, then why did we brothers have to go through—”

“Brother,” Wakamiya’s sharp voice brought him to a stop. At a loss for words, Natsuka turned around to find his brother there. He had remained unmoving, calmly watching over them. “Let's first listen to what the Worship Consul has to say.”

“But!”

“Then, let's first clarify one thing. Worship Consul,” Wakamiya called to him with a steady, clean voice that resonated through the entire room, “am I not the True Golden Raven?”

Natsuka wasn’t the only one waiting for the answer with bated breath, as Sumio and Rokon joined him as well. The man, however, shook his head slowly with despair painted all over his face. “...... We don't know.”

“You don't know……?”

“At this time, it has become impossible for us to determine it. The Forbidden Gate is unlocked, yet it cannot be opened. If it were only that, we could still make do—but there are other bigger reasons to question the validity of Wakamiya's status as the True Golden Raven.”

“And which reasons are those? Tell me,” Natsuka urged him. His fury was genuine, yet the Consul was obstinate.

“I can't tell you. What if someone tried to feign being the True Golden Raven? The conditions are kept in strict secrecy so they stay out of the ears of anyone who isn't a priest. But, His Highness Wakamiya doesn't fulfill this most important of conditions.”

Wakamiya blinked, clearly perplexed. “I'm not an imposter or anything of the like. At least, I myself think so, but……”

“Nazukihiko was declared the True Golden Raven when he was barely an infant, so don't just go spouting things at random.”

“We're troubled as well! We truly don't believe that Your Highness is lying to us either. Besides, if we look at specifics, you do indeed have the powers of the True Golden Raven. And yet, why—”

Then, just when the Worship Consul was starting to clam up again, his annoyance at the situation grown too big, someone else's feeble voice interrupted the scene.

“That’s enough, Consul. I'll explain everything.”

Upon noticing them, both Sumio and Rokon shifted to the sides—there was a group of people all dressed in white by the hall's entrance, and walking in front was a tiny old man. His body was thin, withered away, and his back was crouched by age, giving him a sense of fragility. He looked as if, the very second he had to stand unsupported by someone else, he would fall over to the ground. His face was covered in wrinkles and adorned by a thick white mustache, yet his appearance couldn't be any further away from regal.

Astonished, Natsuka even forgot his anger from moments ago.

“You're—the White Raven……?”

He was so different from their last meeting that he couldn't believe it at first. Natsuka had certainly heard that his health had taken a turn for the worse a few years ago, that much was true. In fact, nearly five years had passed since the time the Worship Consul first took his place in ceremonies. In Natsuka's memories, however, the image of the White Raven was mostly that of the day he came to recommend abdication to him. He had been under the genuine impression that the man was hardy and healthy despite his old age.

With Natsuka petrified, it was Wakamiya who rushed to the White Raven’s side.

“Someone bring a bench, let the White Raven sit down.”

“No, I can’t sit down in front of His Excellency…”

“It's an order. Sit,” Wakamiya flatly rejected the notion before further asking for forgiveness. “I’m sorry, I didn't know your situation was this dire. My sincere apologies for calling you today.”

“There’s no need. It's me who has no excuses to give you, making you come all the way here,” the White Raven gave him a feeble bow before sitting on a bench brought by one of his priests. He deeply sighed. “It's no wonder Lord Natsuka would be angered, receiving this news after so long. However, we were left with no alternative.”

“Tell us, then. What's the secret requisite for a True Golden Raven?”

“That's—” the White Raven spoke with a hoarse, strained voice. “Memories.”

As simple as his words were, their meaning escaped them at first. Seeing the princes’ confusion, the White Raven gave them a clearer explanation.

“Your Highness, you lack the memories of the first True Golden Raven, correct?”

“...... What does that mean?”

“Starting from the founder of the line, a True Golden Raven is supposed to inherit the memories of all True Golden Ravens who preceded him—but you lack them. We are the ones with questions. Why do you not remember anything at all!?”

The Golden Raven was the father and mother of all Yatagarasu. No matter the time, he shall appear in front of the people, his beloved children. No matter the struggle they're facing, he shall protect his people and be the one to guide them and enlighten them. The Golden Raven was the leader of all Yatagarasu.

——To the Yatagarasu, the True Golden Raven was their perfect, infallible ruler.

Natsuka had believed the reason laid in the soul, the spirit driven to prioritize his people over anything else. Nazukihiko was different from him—he could mend the tears in Yamauchi's barriers, transform at night, and he had the ability to see a Yatagarasu's true nature and make the most out of it. Above all, his selfless heart made him use those selfsame capabilities for everyone else’s sake rather than his own.

All that time, Natsuka had lived believing that was the key difference—what separated him from his brother—but, according to the White Raven’s words, for a True Golden Raven, that was an imperfect form.

“The True Golden Raven is literally the ancestor of all Yatagarasu.” The White Raven extended a trembling hand in Wakamiya's direction. “His Excellency, the first Golden Raven, came to this land led by lord Yamagami—he was the father of the princes who founded the Four Houses and the ancestor to all Yatagarasu living in Yamauchi. The True Golden Raven is none other than his reborn self. That’s his true nature.”

If he truly were the ‘True Golden Raven’, there should have been no need whatsoever to explain any of this to Wakamiya. It was, in fact, quite the opposite. The moment his memories returned, all priests excluding the White Raven were supposed to fall under the True Golden Raven's direct command.

“The roles are different than you think,” the White Raven said, out of breath. “When the True Golden Raven is absent, the White Raven performs anything related to religious matters and the Acting Golden Raven takes care of governance. That's how the division of responsibilities is supposed to work. Our job is merely to wait for the True Golden Raven's return. We never expected to be in a position where we had to determine whether a prince was in fact the real Golden Raven or not.”

When the lock of the Forbidden Gate first opened, they acted on the belief that Wakamiya would soon recover his memories. He was just an infant incapable of speech back then, so they should come back as he grew up. Time passed and, even when Wakamiya returned from the Outside, even when he came of age, up to the present, he still showed no signs whatsoever of remembering anything.

For the White Raven, this had been a wholly unexpected development. He couldn't recognize Wakamiya’s coronation when, as the True Golden Raven, he didn't fulfill the most important condition of them all. He waited until the very last moment for Wakamiya's memories to return, but, once talks about the Acting Golden Raven's abdication came to him, he determined he couldn't keep doing so any longer and the aforementioned proclamation followed.

“Then, am I truly not the True Golden Raven?”

“We cannot say with certainty,” the Worship Consul explained in the White Raven’s stead, who was breathing painfully and with great difficulty. “There is truly no question that Your Highness is something incredibly close to the True Golden Raven. The power you possess is undoubtedly that of one. It’s clear that you aren't a simple Yatagarasu.”

Despite that, he couldn't be called a complete True Golden Raven either. Everything about him was too half-baked.

“Then—what am I?” Wakamiya murmured, bewilderment all over his face. An understandable reaction. If he hadn't asked, Natsuka himself would have pressed the priests for answers.

“There is one possibility that has occurred to us,” the White Raven looked at the Consul, who raised his head.

“His Highness, Lord Natsuka, do you know what these are?” The Consul pointed to a number of evenly spaced stone boxes, all lined up as if enveloping the center of the room. Water flowed from them. Both Natsuka and Wakamiya shook their heads, to which the Worship Consul nodded. “These are the coffins of past True Golden Ravens.”

Natsuka’s eyes widened. Truth to be told, he had thought they were shaped like coffins for a second there, but cremation was the custom for aristocrats in Yamauchi and, while he had seen a corpse in a wooden coffin before, this was the first time he ever saw one made of stone.

“They may look like stone, but these coffins are actually made of plain wood.”

“Plain wood? How can that be!?”

Even upon closer inspection, the coffins looked as if they were made of sparkling white stone. It was hard to examine them in detail due to the water gushing out from the stone’s surface but, as the Consul urged him to try to touch one of them, the sensation was unmistakably that of rock.

“After the water has flowed out of it for long enough, the plain wood of the coffin transforms into stone.”

The True Golden Ravens’ remains were never cremated, unlike the rest of the Imperial Family. It was their duty to protect Yamauchi even after death, according to the Consul, and so they were placed in these wooden vertical coffins and enshrined surrounding the Forbidden Gate.

“As for why water flows from coffins made of wood, or why that same wood doesn’t rot but instead transforms into stone, we don’t know either. There is no doubt, however, that those within these coffins are the successive True Golden Ravens. The problem is with this one,” the Worship Consul pointed at the coffin positioned at the farthest side of the room. It was truly made of plain wood. No water flowed from it and it hadn’t yet become stone either. After they had observed for a while, the Consul came closer to it. “Please, take a look.”

He put a hand on the coffin’s lid and, with a surprisingly light sound, opened it.

“Wait—” Natsuka tried to stop him by sheer reflex, but his attempt was cut short the moment he took a look inside. His mouth opened in shock.

“It’s…… empty?” Sumio, who was waiting by Wakamiya’s side, whispered in surprise. Just as he said, there was nothing within.

“This is the coffin where the previous True Golden Raven was supposed to be buried,” the White Raven said with a tone so sad, it felt as if he was about to cry. “We think this may well be the reason why Your Highness Wakamiya’s memories won’t return.”

“But, where are the remains of the previous True Golden Raven? Was it impossible to bury him properly?”

In answer to Natsuka's question, the Worship Consul vexedly caressed the empty coffin. “We don’t know. It’s not even only about the remains, it’s also unclear how the previous True Golden Raven died at all.”

From what they knew, the last True Golden Raven died about one hundred years ago. At the time, the Forbidden Gate was supposedly still open and the Golden Raven did visit the Holy Precincts and serve Yamagami himself. Back then, Yamauchi was truly peaceful. However, one time, the True Golden Raven never came back from the Holy Precincts and, as the people waited for his return, the Forbidden Gate closed by itself. Nobody was capable of opening it ever since.

——They believed that the True Golden Raven had died in the Holy Precincts.

There was a funeral and a new Acting Golden Raven ascended to the throne, but that crucial corpse was never found, not even after all these years, so only an empty coffin remained of it.

“That’s all that’s written within the records inherited by the White Raven generation after generation.”

“The reality of the matter is that, due to the missing remains, his burial was left incomplete. We suspect that the burial process of a True Golden Raven may be intrinsically related to the inheritance of memories, due to the very differing rites compared to the rest of the Imperial Family.” Yet this very important ritual was left incomplete a hundred years ago. That was the root cause of Wakamiya’s birth as an incomplete True Golden Raven, or so the priests suspected.

“Besides, the True Golden Raven is supposed to reincarnate at the times he's needed, with the most suitable form both physically and mentally to handle the disasters that will threaten Yamauchi. However, it never took more than twenty years for the True Golden Raven to return at the longest. Not until now.”

——It was already an abnormality for the True Golden Raven to not be reborn for a hundred years.

Natsuka put a hand on his frozen brother's shoulder in an attempt to cheer him up. If he didn’t do that, Natsuka felt as if he himself would end up on the ground.

“...... If that's the case, what are you going to do?” Natsuka could now understand why the White Raven wasn’t in a position to declare Wakamiya the True Golden Raven, but the situation couldn't stay like this. “If Nazukihiko doesn't take the throne, our father will be stuck as the Acting Golden Raven. The Imperial Court will be left dancing to the tune of the Four Houses and we will be unable to counter the very disaster the True Golden Raven was supposed to handle for us!”

Neither the White Raven or the Worship Consul had any answers. Wakamiya watched them in silence before, finally, murmuring something, “The White Raven isn't wrong. Even if I were to ascend to the throne like this, we don't even know for sure how much an incomplete True Golden Raven can achieve against the coming disaster.”

“But—!”

“The imperfection is, of all places, in the Golden Raven's consciousness—the part most concerned with decision-making. Right now, it's as if I possessed a very sharp sword with no knowledge on how to use it. If I were to make a mistake, it could easily lead us to an unfixable situation.”

“Nazukihiko,” Natsuka said. He had to say something—anything—to his brother, but he couldn’t find any words to offer him.

“Your memories—if only Your Highness Wakamiya's memories were to return, we will wholeheartedly welcome your coronation. But, please, forgive us.” The White Raven threw himself to the ground from his bench, as if collapsing, and grovelled over the stone floor. “As Your Highness is right now, we cannot recognize you as the True Golden Raven no matter what……!”

Afterwards, Natsuka returned to his own residence to change his clothes. As he dressed himself in the deep purple priestly garments, his mind ran at full speed to figure out what to say to the ministers. To control the ensuing chaos, they now had to give a formal explanation at the Hall of State Ceremonies—or that was the idea. In reality, Natsuka—the one who should have his act together the most—was even more shaken than Wakamiya himself.

He couldn't keep going like this. He put his hand on his forehead just as he heard someone's amused voice from behind. “So you don't plan to change stances, even when faced with a failure of a Golden Raven?”

Natsuka turned around impetuously. His eyes met Rokon's, who was leaning against the wall with a smirk.

“What did you just say……?”

——A failure of a Golden Raven, is that what he said?

Natsuka approached Rokon with heavy, loud footsteps, slamming him against the wall by the neck. He squeezed. “Don't ever say stupid things like that again!”

Rokon's back met the wall with a dull noise and Natsuka's attendants, who had been helping him change, let out small screams. Meanwhile, Rokon himself was wearing the same unchanging grin from ear to ear. “I haven't said anything stupid. It's a fact that even His Highness Wakamiya himself has recognized, or have you forgotten that?”

“Even if that's the case, I won't stand quietly if you call him so. I won't let anyone ridicule Nazukihiko, not you or any other!” The words came out of his mouth before he even realized it. That same instant, he felt the doubts within him vanish into thin air. “....... Thank you, Rokon. I’ve just made up my mind.”

Natsuka roughly let go of Rokon's neck. He kept glaring at him. “I have the pride of a Yatagarasu of the Imperial Family. As someone born in it, I must fulfill the duty given to me. I haven't even once desired the throne for myself out of self-interest—same as my brother.”

So, as long as Nazukihiko tried to selflessly fulfill his duty as a member of the Imperial Family, Natsuka would keep believing in him. “No matter what others may say, my brother is a proper Golden Raven and he’s qualified as Yamauchi's ruler. I don't know what you're planning, but if you expect me and my brother’s relationship to go awry, you better give up now.”

Rokon, who was looking at Natsuka as if studying him, suddenly smiled in a pleased manner. “I'm not planning anything. Lord Natsuka should do whatever he wishes. No matter what order you give me, I'll obey them all.”

He spoke as if soothing an obstinate, selfish child. Filled with suspicion, Natsuka looked him in the eye and, subconsciously, gulped at what he found there.

“I’ll merely stay loyal to you in my own way,” Rokon said with a laugh, his eyes like those of a beast who knew no mercy.

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

The Director finished his explanation on the situation as Suikan looked him over.

“Then,” Seiken spoke, “the coronation has indeed been indefinitely postponed……”

“That's right.”

“Has the Imperial Court given any detailed explanations?”

The Director slowly shook his head. “Not any clear one, no. We haven't been informed of why the White Raven ordered the coronation to be postponed, or why His Highness Wakamiya accepted it.” There were rumors it had been Natsuka who hid the truth of the matter, but whether they were true or not, nobody knew. “Regardless of that, this is going to be a problem.”

——It had been ten days since the priests made their proclamation.

They were in a wide drawing room found in the Unbending Reed Monastery’s instructor quarters. All of the main instructors were there, from those responsible for the Seeds to those taking care of the Evergreens. The lamps’ light wavered as their faces emerged from the darkness under them. Their expressions were all grim.

“The custom is for the position of Monastery Director to be transferred with the accession of a new Golden Raven, as you know. You may also remember that we had arranged to invite Abbot Takubou of Heaven's View Temple and to start the proceedings to hand over the position of Director to him, but that’s null now as well.”

None of them had any idea what the future had in store for them, not in the current circumstances. The Director looked at them one by one, their faces wordlessly twisted with mixed feelings, and put on a strained expression of his own. “I know you must all be ill at ease, but our duty as instructors doesn’t change because of this. As long as there are no movements in the Imperial Court, the administrative structure here won’t change in any form compared to before. Just fulfill your respective tasks.”

As the instructors voiced their agreement in unison, Seiken alone scratched his cheek. “Still, this is a problem. Rumors about the situation are already circulating among the trainees. They’re already divided by the Wakamiya and Animiya factions as-is, which is driving wedges between them, and now we can expect the situation to worsen even further.”

“Who do you think would be the most problematic?”

“Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana, I would say. There have been signs for a long time,” an instructor in charge of the Saplings answered with a sour face.

Kashin, who took care of many of the practical courses, further added to the conversation, “There is an unusual amount of high-ranking and talented boys among the Seeds this year. May he be fretting because of that?”

“True. Ever since Akeru of the Western House arrived, I feel his concerning behavior has become much more conspicuous. I often see those who identify with the Animiya faction—Kimichika acting as their leader—picking fights with Akeru.”

Hearing the Saplings’ theory instructor’s insight, Seiken sighed. “Akeru has been buying into it quite a bit as well. I let them be. Birds of a feather flock together, you know. But, after today, that may not be something we can take so lightly anymore. I must request all instructors to pay extra attention. We cannot allow a bunch of fair squabbles to turn into one-sided bullying.”

“Got it.” Voices raised in agreement from here and there at Seiken’s warning.

Once the Director confirmed that if there were any new developments at the Imperial Court, they would all be summoned again immediately, and after he insisted that they had to guide the trainees in order to avoid any conflict over politics arising, their meeting finally came to an end.

The very minute the meeting ended, Suikan, who had been making an effort to not bring attention upon himself, left the drawing room behind.

It was a slightly cloudy night. In the hallway, he could feel the humidity accompanying the tepid atmosphere. Sometimes practical courses were changed into theory when it rained, so his mood plummeted the moment he thought of the coming day.

Suikan attempted to return to his room, but then he heard a voice calling for him from behind.

“Instructor Suikan, could I have a moment?” Suikan turned to find Seiken rushing towards him, his black feather robe fluttering as he moved.

“What’s the issue?”

“I’ve overheard rumors that you’re giving certain trainees special treatment in your classes, is that true?” Suikan refused to answer, and Seiken pressed his lips together tightly. “I’ll make my question more specific, then. Did you truly punish the trainees involved in the dispute with Kimichika all over again?”

“Yes.”

“And what about the rumor that, ever since, you keep on naming Yukiya as your opponent during exercises to ruthlessly beat him on the board? I’ve also heard that you are actively trying to punish him by making him organize the library or clean up the bamboo grove, so he doesn’t even have the time to do his homework.”

Suikan had been fully aware he would be reprimanded for his actions someday, so he answered with full composure, “They changed the wording a bit, but it was obvious many trainees were copying the work of that. That’s his punishment, and prevention for the future.”

“If that’s the case, everyone who copied the homework should have been punished equally. There’s no way the attitude you have around Yukiya is that of an instructor with a trainee.”

“Well, I don’t recognize him as a trainee,” Suikan answered.

Seiken’s eyes widened with surprise. “Why?”

“You must have realized it too, even without me saying it, right? His existence only disturbs the peace of the Monastery. As far as this place is concerned, he does nothing aside from harm. He’s nothing but poison for the rest of the trainees,” Suikan declared.

“...... Even if that were the case, as long as he’s a trainee, he is one of our students, same as everyone else. No matter how you yourself may feel about him, the moment you make a show of it, there won’t be any avoiding the suspicion that you’re playing favorites with Kimichika.”

“Not like I mind if people think that,” Suikan countered immediately.

The look in Seiken’s eyes became all the more pointed. “This isn’t only your problem, Instructor Suikan. It’s an issue that affects the reputation of all the instructors in the Monastery. You should treat all trainees fairly no matter what.”

“Fine…”

He at least wanted to avoid Seiken’s anger, so Suikan lowered his head obediently. Seiken watched him for a while, as if observing and studying him, and then suddenly smiled. “You’re still very inexperienced as an instructor. Don’t lose too much spirit.”

“I greatly appreciate the concern.”

“Very well then, have a good night.” Seiken gave him his usual smile before departing.

Suikan watched his back as he walked away. Then, he let out an unconscious sigh in disappointment. With heavy steps, he returned to his room, where the very focus of the earlier conversations was waiting for him.

“I’m taking the chance to intrude here.”

The boy held up his sake in quite the tasteless move given alcohol was formally prohibited. Cups and snacks were spread all over the room. Suikan crossed his arms. “I told you that you could come in whenever you wanted, but not that I would look the other way when you drink alcohol.”

“Don’t be so stiff! So, how’d it go? The meeting.”

“There haven’t been any significant developments. I didn’t get any information beyond what you had already, but you came up in the conversation,” Suikan coldly said at last.

“Me? How so? What brought me up?”

“They said that your behavior couldn’t be overlooked. How about stopping the despotic antics?” Suikan asked, making a point out of his own bad mood. “All that championing the Animiya Faction and picking fights with the Wakamiya Faction kids—particularly that Akeru of the Western House. Stop with that idiocy right now. If things keep going like this, I won’t be able to protect you any longer.”

“Look at who’s talking. You’re treating Yukiya of the Northern House like shit and yet you’re scolding me? He’s from the Wakamiya Faction too, right?” Kimichika said, all full of himself.

“Don’t lump me together with the likes of you!” Suikan snapped back. He knew it was childish of him, but he couldn’t help it.

Kimichika must have realized just how furious he was. He snorted in exasperation. “Would you do me the favor and chill out? If we’re talking about my behavior lately, it’s not like I’m doing it just because I feel like it. It’s on purpose—mostly.”

“What?”

“My very own brother told me to.”

Just the last person he wanted to hear about. Suikan let out a pained groan. “... So it was him.”

Natsuka’s closest vassal and subordinate, Rokon. He had been Suikan’s senior by one year back when he was a trainee at the Monastery.

“This is just to rein in the Wakamiya Faction.”

“What is that thinking? Lord Natsuka himself has expressed his allegiance to Wakamiya, there is no meaning in doing any of this.”

Kimichika’s expression twisted in a way that made it clear he was mocking Suikan. “You truly don’t get my brother.”

“As if I want to! He’s a man who will tout things like ‘the path to true loyalty comes from knowing pleasure’. The less ideas I have in common with him, the better.”

That man was crazy. There was no other way to put it, even if one were to be tactful. The day Suikan became capable of understanding what he was thinking would also be the day Suikan was effectively dead as a person.

Kimichika observed him with amusement and started to play with the cup of sake, swaying it.

“My brother hasn’t given up on making Lord Natsuka the Golden Raven,” Kimichika declared cheerfully, as if he were talking about the weather and not something so alarming. “And you’re my brother’s favorite. When the time comes, there’s no doubt he intends to choose you as his tactician.”

“...... Not something I care about.”

“But, given the fact that you’re covering for me like this, you must not be unhappy about it either, right?”

This damn brat. Suikan cursed Kimichika internally, yet he made no attempt to either confirm or deny the notion. “Anyway, your current course of action won’t help you in any shape or form. I don’t give a shit about what your brother is planning, but be careful with what you do and say. Unless you want to be outwitted by the Northern House’s insolent brat, that is.”

“By that kid! I have nothing to fear against him.”

“Stop with that fearless act. No matter how much you try to clumsily imitate him, you won’t ever become your brother.”

The moment he heard that, the air of composure fell from Kimichika’s face.

“Shut up….. It’s not your problem.” Kimichika sulked like a child, but Suikan completely ignored him and, instead, insisted on his point.

“You should be proud of not resembling that. You had the fortune of being born right, so stop behaving in a way that puts it to waste,” Suikan earnestly warned him.

Yet Kimichika disregarded his words, acting like a scolded child and unwilling to listen. “Fine, fine! I get it. I’ll behave. It’s not like the end result will change whether I get involved or not.”

Suikan frowned.

“Akeru’s pretensions are starting to fall apart, from the looks of it.” Kimichika’s lips curved. “He’ll self-destruct soon enough.”

Kimichika smiled happily at his own words, sporting a face so similar yet dissimilar to Rokon’s.

Next: Akeru (Part 3)

—————————————

1: Holy Precincts is originally Shin’iki (神域), which refers to the precincts of a Shinto shrine or a place where a Shinto god dwells.

#Translation: The Raven of the Empty Coffin #yatagarasu #yatagarasu series #the raven does not choose its master #karasu wa aruji wo erabanai

33 notes · View notes

catboybiologist · 2 months ago

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/radiantfissure/766164937299116032/yes-thank-you-prev-its-such-a-shitty-verbal?source=share

People of colour pointing out a pattern of racism and asking white queer people to do better is not the same thing as transmisogynistic femboys being used as an agp trope like she said. She is allover the place and jump from one point to another. I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable that we point out the trends of racism in the queer community and that we have to mention it over and over again to the point that you believe it is an harassment campaign because white queer people refuse to listen and change. If multiple ppl say the same thing over and over again, instead of believing it is a way to oppress white people, maybe take it as a sign that there is a huge problem racism in our community and white queer people must stop acting like victims when we point it out. There is a reason why you barely see any BIPOC in the online queer community. It is inhospitable to us and get called transphobic when we point it out. Not all white queers are like that but I shouldn't have to say it. Just listen to use BIPOC, I'm begging you.

Okay there's a lot here that's a bit of a storm of info and I'm going to be honest, I don't really know what's going on and I'm unpacking what you linked and what you said now.

I don't know if this ask is directed at me specifically, or if its just because I'm a white queer with some kind of following. I didn't interact with the linked post, and I don't know if its vagueing about a specific person or event, or just general sentiments.

First, if I genuinely have done or said anything directly to make BIPOC uncomfortable on my page or in the tumblr community, PLEASE tell me. This isn't a one time thing, I genuinely would appreciate if I'm "called out" in asks, DMs, or some other kind of interaction before something becomes a larger issue.

(This applies universally, btw, and is something I've asked for before. I appreciate directness and clarity a lot, and I do want to listen. I hope that comes across.)

(oh, and also, to white queer followers: don't try to "defend" me if this is pointing out something I did. Cut that bullshit out, its extremely uncomfortable.)

Second, if this isn't about something I've done or said specifically, and you mostly want comment on the post.... yeah, I'm going to be honest, that post is a big fucking problem. There's a LOT to unpack in that post and I don't have nearly the capacity to go through it all. Fuck. This is a half baked thought, but it genuinely feels like they're using some kind of "TMA status" as a deflection of criticism. I've absolutely seen memes about the "racist femboy", but honestly, its nothing more than memes.

I've actually probably seen more racist, internally queerphobic femboys than I've seen memes or stereotypes on the subject. So uh. Yeah.

Imma be blunt. If the stereotype of the "racist 4chan femboy" is something you come across commonly in a way that actually affects discussion and communication about trans issues, and feels more prevalent than the stereotypes that are flown around in political contexts and broader culture... then I'm really sorry, you're probably terminally online.

None of this is well formed thoughts. All of this is a mess. I can't agree with this post, though. The most favorable interpretation of it is that its coming from a place of being extremely online and not really knowing what the actual stereotypes held about trans women are. The less favorable reading is that its deflection.

Third, if there are specific people or events this is referring to, then I well and truly have 0 clue whats going on.

Also, I sympathize with the sheer exhaustion of feeling like you have to say "not all white queers" all the time. Obviously I haven't been in the exact situation, but I feel very similarly about a lot of social commentary- you oftentimes get tired of the little disclaimers intended to make other people more comfortable. Its fucking tiresome.

16 notes · View notes

suddencolds · 5 months ago

Note

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

—

⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

—

There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment.

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?” “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned. “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

#ask #thank you!!!!! 🥹#tbh i'm not sure if my process will be interesting to anyone?#but i also do like the idea of like having this be a little journal entry that i can look back on someday #suddencolds yap post (thank you caffeine)#maybe this should be a new tag for me seeing how i cannot be concise ever 😵‍💫

15 notes · View notes

evernkillian · 2 years ago

Text

HP Fanfiction Recs | One- Shot Edition; Part 1

Standard Rec Lists Disclaimers Apply: Please for the love of God read the tags and Author's Note/s, This is NOT the ultimate rec lists or whatever, the fics below are my cup of tea.

Also, I tried my best to make the Quotes I included spoiler free but if you think it is just tell me!

(also, I have more fic recs! Here)

🍄🍄🍄

1. r/AITA by Seagate

G | 2k Words | Hermione / Draco

Summary: A budding relationship seen through the eyes of Reddit posts

Hermione POV. Well, Reddit Post Style. Hermione's a good friend 🥹🥹🥹 Actually, most of her posts are about Harry, seeking advice on how could she make sure that he won't get hurt/make sure that he's in good hands. ALSO ALSO they keep interacting in the comments so READ THEIR USERNAMES IT'S FUNNIER IF U KNEW WHO IT IS. To this day whenever I remember Voldemort's comment I laugh. I love Hermione's characterization- she's loyal, and she takes no shit. I laugh a lot reading this because Hermione sounds so serious but it's funny. Also my favorite quote:

I don't buy it for a second. The kicked puppy look, the lost baby blue eyes, and pouty lips? I was there when he perfected it. When he used the fake remorse to get out of trouble with the professors.

I slammed the door in his face. I'd rather get murdered, thanks.

2. Do Not Collect 200 Dollars by KittySmith

T | 11k Words

Summary: It isn't Voldemort who is reverted to baby form from the Final Super Spell - but why is Harry still alive?

Is Voldemort... cooing?

Crack fic. Like, really crack. I reread this fic when I need a laugh. Voldemort's mind is a beautiful place it's so funny. I love how oblivious Voldemort is with Snape's kidnapping attempts LAUGHING CRYING SOBBING the interactions of these 3 are my favorite parts because of its peak comedy. Voldemort as the most bizarre doting parent ever. Oh, yeah, it's a Voldemort Wins AU. He's just taking care of Harry and researching. What an icon. ALSO MY FAVORITE QUOTE:

He examined the banana he had left consideringly, checking its heft before he threw it directly into Severus’ terrified face with a flat, “Bitch.”

3. Heartbreaking Confession by LiquidLuckandStuff (@liquidluckandstuff )

M | 1k Words | Harry / Tom|Voldemort

Summary: After the war, Harry visits Voldemort's grave after a bad day with a Mind Healer.

He confesses something he is too scared to tell even his closest friends.

Just Harry having a bad day and talking to Voldemort's grave. About Almosts, what ifs, what could've beens. This fic shows that Voldemort and Harry understood each other very much. The ways they've shown it while they're enemies, while one of them is dead. Also my favorite quote!!! It's longer than this, 3 paragraphs but i think that would be too spoiler-y so here it is!

Quietly, Harry whispered a terrible secret. “Sometimes, I want to crawl in there with you."

4. Breaking More Taboos by Destiny_Of_A_Dragon

M | 3k Words | Harry / Voldemort

Summary: The first time Harry broke the taboo, he’d been beyond starving, with little to no choice. The second and third times were much the same.

But the fourth?

That’s when everything changed.

HOLY MOLY THIS FIC!!!! MAKES ME FERAL!!! It's so unique and I've reread it lots of times!!! Can't say more because spoilers but!!! If you've read this scream about it with me. Sadly I can't put my favorite quote here since I don't wanna ruin the surprise factor but!!! Just know I have a lot of them!!!

5. Lightning Heart by Clarisse (transnymphtaire)

G | 1k Words | Harry / Tom

Summary: The first time you touch, a matching symbol is left behind where skin met skin.

ROLE REVERSAL AU!!! DARK LORD HARRY GRRRRRRRR. ALSO GRYFFINDOR TOM. Also Luna's part is brief here but she's a badass I love her. And!!! Harry giving tom gifts for courting. And they're soulmates! Favorite quote:

"Did you know that Gryffindor was my old house?” Harry ask conversationally, as if they’re not under the school, with a mirror hiding the Philosopher’s stone.

“It’s why I chose it over Slytherin.” Tom answers.

🍄🍄🍄

#Fanfic Rec List #Fanfics #HP Fanfics #Fanfic Recs #one shot #one shots #Harry Potter #Harry Potter Fanfiction #fic rec

11 notes · View notes

butterfly-apocalypse · 6 years ago

Text

Life of a School Shooting Survivor

Just some ramblings about a minor detail that I feel stuck on. (For context: I was there at school that day and I was traumatized but I did not witness the event itself nor was I particularly close of any of the casualty victims. Because of this I sometimes have a hard time accepting that my trauma is valid, and I certainly don’t feel like I’m a good candidate to be a speaker on the topic. However, I do feel the need to be heard at some level, so I would appreciate people reading.)

[Warnings for discussion of school shootings, negativity, and Jerks in the YouTube comment section]

I have a couple of drafts for stuff like this that I wanted to post on the 1-year, but it ended up being a really hard week so that didn’t happen. But I had a little bit of a tough time today and I’m feeling like talking about it again. I’m doing so much better now. I think the one year was super hard but even a week afterward, I felt better. I felt less heavy and I could talk about it the most openly that I ever have outside of therapy, which was amazing. I was also So Super Busy which kept me distracted which is nice but it’s also probably part of the reason it’s taken me so long to reach this point. Not that there’s a time table for how to get over trauma, but I notice that so many of my schoolmates, even people who were significantly more involved than I was, are doing better. Maybe part of it is that I’m a very sensitive person. Maybe it was just that it was one of my nightmares literally come to life for me to experience in 3D Surround Sound. Whatever it was, it’s taken me quite some time to get over it.

Teachers are back to showing violent movies in class with just some cursory warnings. You talk to Freshman who don’t really know what happened. The world around me is moved on, and in many ways, I have as well.

But there’s one detail, one tiny super unimportant STUPID detail, that bothers me so much. It was kind of stupid of me sure, but I was freshly traumatized and wanting to talk about it to an audience who hadn’t heard the story before, so I’m not going to blame myself. In fact, while perhaps ill-advised, it was perfectly innocent and in my eyes maybe a good thing.

I’m not sure who remembers, but after Parkland, Li-Manuel Miranda and Ben Platt made a medley of You Will Be Found and Story of Tonight called Found/Tonight. They wrote it FOR the school shooting survivors. They wrote it FOR March For Our Lives. I listened to it for several hours at a time in the days following the shooting. And like two or three days after, I decided I could leave my story in the comments of the video. (I’m sure you all can see where this is going.)

I don’t remember the entire comment, and I really don’t want to go back and find it, but essentially it was the first time I told the story. It wasn’t the actual event itself, just the context and the aftermath. And how the car ride home from the evacuation site was silent. But the first time I listened to music after it happened, I was listening to the radio and they put Found/Tonight on and talked about how it was for the school shooting survivors. And I was feeling a lot of things then, but I just remember in that moment, listening to the voices of two celebrities I was enthralled with at the time, singing this song that was written for kids like me, and I just felt....so much less alone. Other people had gone through this (my first reaction just now was to type “other people had gone through worse,” but I need to stop invalidating my own trauma which has been a huge obstacle for my recovery and honestly I think this event I’m talking about was a lot of the source of that) and ended up okay. It was like breathing out for just a second. It was the first time I finally had a moment of clarity to be like “Okay. Things aren’t okay now, but look: they will get better.” And OBVIOUSLY THAT WAS A REALLY IMPORTANT MOMENT FOR ME.

I didn’t see any other survivors in the comments of the official video, but this song was FOR US so I thought, “Hey maybe if I share my story, other people might share theirs.” And so I wrote my comment, and went to sleep (I was doing a lot of sleeping these days.)

I wake up to a reply!! (How exciting!! I had -100 internet presence and had literally never commented on a YouTube video before this...) And I DO remember the reply. I don’t even have to go find it, it’s pretty ingrained in my mind. It said “Sorry sweetie, but this song can’t played on the radio yet. Stop trying to make your life sound cinematic.” Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it’s stupid. It’s short, it’s small, it’s insignificant, but I saw RED. I wrote a reply and it was stupid and angry and flustered and very very upset and I’m kind of embarrassed by it, but I want to be kinder to myself and honestly I made some okay points had I been a little more articulate with them never mind that they fell on the uncaring ears of youtube commenters. My main points were like: 1. Okay first of all, even if this WAS a fake story (it’s not) why???? Did you decide it was your job to “call it out”???? 2. On the “off chance” it WASN’T a fake story (it wasn’t) how could you just thoughtlessly weigh the consequence of invalidating a traumatized kid to be less than the rush of satisfaction for “calling out” a “fake story”?? 3. It’s NOT a fake story, here’s the FACTS 4. It’s probably too much to hope that you feel a modicum of remorse, but here’s to hoping you have a scrap of human decency. So posted than aaaand went, you guessed it, back to sleep. Wake up to ANOTHER reply and THIS ONE...Hoooodee hoo this one is.......reading this one felt like the Edgar Allen Poe meme. I don’t remember what this one said because I soon as I realized it WAS too much to hope that they had a scrap of human decency, I just kind of shut down a little bit again. Essentially they SUMMARIZED THE SHOOTING THAT HAPPENED AT MY SCHOOL TO ME and said “Only like one person died, and then a cop shot the kid and it stopped. Why are you being whiny about it?” Like first of all...that’s not even what happened. Second of all..................yeah you read that right, this person said “Only” one person died. (Which is ALSO not true).

I don’t know why that person was watching a video intended for school shooting survivors and the profits from which went to MFOL, an anti-gun protest.....I don’t know why they felt the need to say what they said......Maybe they were having a Bad Life and needed to take it out on someone...maybe they were feeling defensive because they were wrong........whatever it was. I recognize fully that the comments are not a big deal and that my trauma and feelings are valid... I was just thinking about it so much today and I wanted to get it out.

Thank you for tuning in to this weeks issue of Talking About My Trauma to the void of the internet (and the several internet friends who will see this and care <3 If you’re reading this, hi I love you and thank you for reading.)

P.S. The sad part is I haven’t really worked myself back up to listening to the song.

P.P.S. So many people in the comments were like “OMG THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, PLAY THIS AT MY FUNERAL!!!” and considering it was written for kids who’ve been to more than their fair share of funerals, I thought that was in very poor taste. Like sure I get the edgy “Haha planning my funeral!” Jokes, but some discretion would be nice, yeah?

#School shooting survivor #tw: school shooting #I would appreciate if you took the time to read #You may reblog if you would like #I'm not sure why would want to #But you're fully allowed #Second disclaimer: if you would like to comment please don't do it directly on this post

5 notes · View notes

solarpunkism · 3 years ago

Text

☀️Summer Energy Saving Tips☀️

Seeing your electric bill jump or double in the summer while just trying to maintain a livable space is extremely stressful. Having personally lived in the dry California desert, an unconditioned New Jersey apartment, and now the sweltering midwest, I have learned lots of different ways to beat the heat.

To give you the most information, I have also researched tips from energy companies and from eco-friendly sites and bullet point dumped every single one I found that was useful and affordable.

In this post I have compiled them into a list of quickest/easiest, and will have a second post up soon of less instant but still affordable and practical tips (second tier ideas, if you will).

☀️🤘Stay cool, stay safe, solarpunks! Please comment or reblog with any idea or solution that I have not included, and I will try to edit/add it to the list.

🧊Leave all doors to unoccupied/unused rooms closed. If it is unused, it doesn't need to be part of the cool air flow.

🧊Limit oven use, if possible. Cook with stove tops, toaster ovens, or microwaves. Stoves tend to generate a much larger amount of heat that lingers, especially when it is already warm.

🧊If your temperature is controlled by thermostat, keep all electronics and appliances away from it--they generate heat that can prematurely set off your thermastat.

🧊LED bulbs are the best bulb for staying cool because they do not generate heat, like incandescent ones. If you do not have LED bulbs, simply turning off as many lights as you can reduces heat.

🧊If you are going to be gone for 8+ hours, raising your thermostat temperature {most electric companies say 78-86°, so somewhere in this range will be easiest to return to, depending on how cool you keep your home} until you return will lower your overall energy consumption.

🧊Use hot water as little as possible--cool showers, cool water when washing dishes & clothes--will reduce the heat being generated and then eliminated by temperature control.

🧊Use your big appliances (dish washer, stove, wash machine, dryer) at the coolest part of the day. This may mean getting up early or doing it late at night, whatever is most sustainable for you. What this does is similar to the tip above; reduces heat being generated by your appliances, and makes it easier on your thermostat to control that heat.

🧊Limit light & heat entrance by keeping blinds/curtains closed. DIY energy saving curtains can be made by hanging up a comforter or dark blanket over a curtain rod, or even nailing it directly to the wall. I have hung up rugs inside the window frame, and hung a thick blanket outside the window frame, and this has reduced the heat from entering through the window amazingly. $50 energy saving curtains are not necessary--you probably have everything you need lying around the house. If you have no available blankets, towels, or rugs, hanging up sheets, clothes on hangers, or using tinfoil will help as well. Any insulation will eliminate heat. Two ways to tell if its helping is 1. Is the room darker with the covering? And 2. When you touch the covering, is it less hot than touching the glass behind it?

🧊Heat leakage through door and window cracks don't have to be professionally tackled--my mom would roll up old towels and stuff them tightly into the windowsill. She would also sew a long tube and fill it with beans/rice and would use these on the window sills and at the bottoms of doors. Easy to kick away when you need to open the door, it is still heavy enough to keep air from getting through.

🧊Ceiling fans are your first level of defense, then energy saving fans (if possible), and then box fans. To make a box fan more effective, keep it clean, and with it's back not against a wall. Putting a pan of ice (or even cool water) in front of your box fan can sometimes cool a room down faster, too.

🧊Unplug any appliance not in use! This goes for TVs, computers, microwaves, etc. Leave your fridge plugged in, though, always.

Stay tuned for post 2 and 3! I am also compiling energy saving tips for specifically humid and dry climates, as both are very different; I hope you find them helpful as well.

☆ (Disclaimer: Suggestions such as "buy a new refrigerator so it is more energy friendly" I have not included because my blog is aimed towards people who are struggling financially. I want to give them information that they can use today, not tell them about another item that they need but cannot afford. There are many energy-saving devices and technologies out there, but this list is not about what you can buy but what you can eliminate/incorporate as soon as possible.)

91 notes · View notes

sincerelylaurel · 3 years ago

Text

30 fancy words to expand your vocabulary

@writingwithacutlass on instagram <3

source:https://www.rd.com/list/fancy-words-sound-smarter/

disclaimer: although using fancy words is a great way to expand your vocabulary and can make you sound smarter/more professional, using them the wrong way will do exactly the opposite and make you look dumb. so make sure you know how to use these words in a sentence and that you can pronounce them correctly :) enjoy!

penultimate: second to last

example: we’re about to watch the penultimate episode of shadow and bone (which would be the 7th of the 8)

diminutive: exceptionally small

example: i saw a diminutive turtle yesterday

confluence: come together

example: the two rivers confluence in this town

granular: finely detailed, consisting of small particles

example: the sugar is very granular

parlance: manner of speaking

example: i couldn’t understand the city’s local parlance

pithy: a brief comment of substance

example: her remarks were always clever and pithy

despondent: hopeless, dejected

example: the recent events made me feel very despondent by the end of the day

lucid: clear and intelligible

example: she gave a lucid summary of what had happened

effervescent: enthusiastic

example: she was a naturally effervescent person

abate: reduce, lessen

example: i hope the rain will abate before noon

bespoke: custom-made

example: i gave her a bespoke piece of jewelry

resplendent: gorgeous

example: she looked resplendent in that dress

erudite: smart

example: i considered myself quite erudite for coming up with a solution

fortnight: two weeks

example: she’ll be staying for a fortnight

ennui: boredom

example: i was almost overcome by ennui

diatribe: rant

example: he was prone to diatribes when he was upset

vitriolic: mean

example: he wrote a vitriolic letter to his brother

pusillanimous: afraid, timid

example: her cousin was a pusillanimous child, always hiding his face and avoiding eye contact

bloviate: brag

example: he bloviated about his victorious win in monopoly

rococo: overly ornate

example: the furniture was rococo

aplomb: confidence

example: he spoke with great aplomb

pervicacious: stubborn

example: she was a horribly pervicacious person who always got her way

obfuscate: confuse

example: the politicians obfuscated whenever they didn’t want to answer a question directly

fastidious: meticulous

example: you have a fastidious attention to detail

sycophant: suck-up

example: she’s such a sycophant

articulate: well-spoken

example: learning fancy words will make you sound more articulate

accolade: kudos

example: she awarded them with the accolade of intelligence

brevity: concise use of words in writing or speech

example: i liked the brevity of her essay

anomaly: something odd

example: is talking to yourself an anomaly?

adulation: flattery

example: the audience gave their adulation to the pianist

have a great day/night!!

remember you're loved and remember to drink water. see you next time! (turn on post notifications so you don't miss any of my posts!)

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰ ───

➳ answer the qotd!

➳ please don't repost without credit!

➳ save and share to boost this post!

｡��:*˚:✧｡ love, laurel

#writing #writeblr #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr #writing advice #writer #writing techniques #my writing #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #beautiful words #vocabulary #english

7 notes · View notes

butterjinwoo · 4 years ago

Text

Story about FRIENDZONE.

Hi~ it's me again.. after a long long time for not updating anything here 😅😅

Btw, happy anniversary, dear Astro.

So, i always wrote my dream here. And here i got another cute dream.. again. I will do a bit touch to make the story feels better. So let's pretend this is imagines ^^

FRIENDZONED

Genre : fluff

Disclaimer : 95% dream, 5% added story

Pairing : jinjin x y/n, and mj bestie

Story line:

Not all people can take your kindness as kindness but there's always be people who always back up from your back.

---

It was a day, you can say that it was a beautiful day. The sky was so beautiful and you were sitting on bench near the sport ground. You were seeing your coach and some of his trainees practiced there.

The coach was really handsome and kind. Although he was so kind, there was a lot of people who threw hate towards him. You watched him from afar. You knew he got a lot of hate comments thought letters he received.

You felt bad about that and you just wanted to help him to feel better. You started to write him letter which you praised him for being so kind. You did that a lot.

One day, he realized that it was letter from you and he finally decided to talk to you.

"I really need to talk to you, y/n." He told you. "Hm.. why?" You asked.

"I know, you have some feelings for me." You were kinda confused but you knew that the letters might be the most possible the reason. "You sent me a lot of sweet messages through letters."

"I just want you to feel better, i mean.. you got a lot of bad comments as well. I don't have any other intentions to bother you." You explained.

"See, y/n. I know you have feelings for me. But sorry I can't accept it. Please don't send me this kind of letters anymore." He said, looked upset. "No, you got me wrong. I have another guy I love and he is not you. I really-" before you could finished your sentence, he said, "sorry, don't tell a lie. Just move on." And he left you.

You were really upset and sad. He took you wrong. You really wanted to make him feel better but he got you wrong. You were so embarrassed. You just wanted to disappear. Your tears started to fall to your cheek. You were really heartbroken, not because he rejected you, but you just felt upset to youself, your own kindness, you did well but he didn't take it well.

MJ suddenly came to you. He saw you cried, he was confused and he asked you, "y/n, what happened? Why are you crying?" You were shocked, so you wiped your tears in second and answered him, "no, mj. I'm fine. Thanks for asking."

"You sure? It's impossible for someone to cry without having any reason. You can tell me. I can be your shoulder to cry on." He offered. The way his words touched directly to your heart made your tears fell again. You explained to him the whole story. As he knew that coach too, he seemed a bit upset too. A lot of people didn't like him, remember? So did MJ. "Y/n, stop crying. I will make smile." And he left you there. "Wait- what? MJ!" You yelled at him as he walked away. "Just wait here. Don't go anywhere."

Again, you were confused. And as you felt MJ betrayed you by leaving you there. You sobbed.

After few moments, you decided to leave because you didn't see that mj would come back as he promised. But before you walked away, jinjin came over. You liked him, you sure. You love him. He came and he asked you, "is everything okay?" "Yeah," you said. He pulled you to his embrace. "I heard the story, so sorry for that." You pushed him away directly, you felt wrong. "We are just friends, you know. You said that." You confirmed. "Shh.. shh.. who said that?" He pulled you again, but this time he hugged you thighter. He caressed your hair. "I never told you that we are just friends, tho. And.. i know your feeling as well, so does mine." He sounded shy. You never expected that words from his lips to come out. "You know, i love you too." As he said his feeling to you, you felt relieved and you hugged him back.

-end-

-----

The fact that i read jinwoo's letter on universe and he mentioned about "being friend" there. I was joking with my friend about this. I told her that it's okay, now jinwoo and i are just friends. We joked a lot 😅😅 and this dream appeared. Haha sorry jinwoo, but i think my mind doesn't want to accept that fact about being friend lol. You'll be my forever love, my fav, dearest jinjin.

#astro scenarios #astro #astro jinjin #astro imagines #jinjin #jinjin imagines #myungjin #mj #astro mj #friendzoned #astro au #astro fluff #jinjin fluff

9 notes · View notes

dungeondicedivaarchieve · 3 years ago

Text

A few months ago I typed up some comments about the anime-only scene between Otogi and Honda on the blimp. Found here.

Well... now I'm here to talk about what happened before that scene. Because I read so much more into it.

Let's take a walk.

Please keep in mind that a great deal of this speculation comes from the belief that, despite Mr. Clown not being seen in the anime, he still exists and his relationship to his son is very similar. Also please keep in mind that this is all speculation from someone who has spent waaaayyyy too much time looking into everything Ryuji Otogi says/ does.

~~~

We join our heroes shortly after Yugi's Duel with Bakura. Ryou has fallen unconscious and the stab wound he sustained earlier has re-opened (unless you're watching the dub where blood doesn't exist.)

Otogi's first line comes after Shizuka has asked Kaiba to land the plane, and the camera cuts to her making a pose that demonstrates both uncertainty and discomfort. Kaiba stares at her and Honda and Otogi both get between them... to Honda's annoyance.