#Scotland's Bard

[orpheusblack394]

I tried to write something for my partner. It's a Bagginshield ff but with other ships as well. I thought I might post a few lines here. It plays in 1500s England but with many touches of the civil war around the 1640s. Of course I switched out many historical people and put the middle earth characters in. For example the Durin's folk who are kings of Scotland. It's the start of the first chapter:

Rain was pouring down the cobblestone walkways of Lathom while the sun went down. It had been a warm and sunny day, nearly too bright for what will come up soon. Thranduil sat down on his oaken throne, wine leafs adorning the back of it. A sigh left his mouth while the scarred face pointed into the direction of an empty wine bottle. The cup bearer must have forgotten to go another time into the wine cellar, it would have been the sixth or seventh try to fulfill the heart of the elven lord. Many winters have passed since Thranduil was joyful or even felt like laughing. When life seemed easy and war something for the future. War was it who killed his beloved wife and war was it that made him into the man who now sits on his throne in silence. Miruvor passed his mind multiple times. A wine strong enough to make him feel at least a tiny glimpse of positivity. Its original purpose to serve as a traditional drink for religious and cultural practices could be forgotten, he thought. There's nothing to party about. And while he sat and thought if he really should stand up and go down to the cellar himself, a shadow snuck into the same room of liquids.

---

A creature, easily recognizable as men kind, sneaked through the dark stone halls. The smell of wooden barrels of the finest timber filled the rooms. And something much more sweet? Bard was irritated. Where did he land after passing miles after miles through rain and mud. It seemed nearly welcoming and.. strange. Nobody was here. No light, no guards, not even a single barking of a dog, nor the tiniest squeak of a mouse. Only the barrels and him. Should he use his opportunity before an eventual landlord stepped in? Bard walked past the different types of kegs. Ceader, pine.. he stopped in front of the last one of the first row. This must be oak. He couldn't see the writing of the iron labels but the material and condition of the barrel revealed to him that it must have been an older keg. Carefully he felt for the tap, still locked. Who stores wine for such a long time without drinking it? Maybe he shouldn't try, it could have been a special brand.. but Bard's hand was faster than his mind and before he could even think a little further, his mouth tasted the first drop of wine. Strong and sweet, drop after drop till he started using his hands to swallow the liquid faster. It felt wonderful. The man got warm from the inside, a feeling of sleepyness touched him, that he didn't feel for months. And before he could lay down safely, his head sunk down to the floor of the cellar, while his body followed.

---

[scotianostra]

On July 4th 1796 Robert Burns took up residence at the Brow Inn near Ruthwell, Dumfries and Galloway.

Our bard was ill and on the advice of his doctor he drank the waters at the Brow Well, a chalybeate spring.

Chalybeate springs or waters, also known as ferruginous waters, are mineral spring waters containing salts of iron and other salts which were believed to have many properties beneficial to health. According to 18th century maps there were a number of these wells in the area.

Used as a staging post by drovers taking their cattle to England for sale, the hamlet had at Burns' time around a dozen houses. One of which was small inn that although run by the Davidsons, husband and wife, was owned by James Morpeth and survived until 1863 when it was demolished. Brow had a minor reputation as a poor mans spa with its Chalybeate well and sea bathing in the Solway Firth a hundred metres or so away down a narrow lane.

As well as the waters his doctor also prescribed horse riding and the drinking of port, nowadays I understand that port is a cause of gout, so glad I wasn’t alive back then. The inn did not serve port wine but it is thought he sought out another inn at nearby Clarencefield. During this stay, on 5th July, Maria Riddell sent her carriage to collect him so that he could dine with her at Lochmaben. She recorded that he had the “stamp of death” on his face and was “touching the brink of eternity” and his greeting to her was “Well madam, have you any commands for the other world”.

At first the treatment seemed to agree with him and he was reinvigorated, but the positive effects did not last. He stayed alone at Brow. His wife Jane Armour was in the advanced stages of pregnancy and did not accompany him. He wrote her a letter sounding very positive about his treatment, but this was likely just an attempt to stop her from worrying. Other letters to his friends during this time make it clear that the poet knew his health was deteriorating.

On another occasion during his stay at Brow, Burns visited Ruthwell Manse to take tea with the minister. When the minister’s daughter offered to draw the curtain so that the sun did not shine in his eyes Burns replied, 'Let the sun shine in upon us, my dear young lady, he has not long to shine upon me’. The scene was poignantly recreated in a painting by Duncan McKellar, now on display at the Dick Institute in Kilmarnock.

When the spring tides passed and left the sea too far from Brow Well to be able to swim in the seawater, Burns returned to Dumfries. He died on 21 July.

The Southern Scottish Counties Burns Association holds an annual ceremony at Brow Well to commemorate the anniversary of Burns’ death.

Pics are the aforementioned pic at Ruthwell Manse, Brow Well circa 1800, I would assume it was much the same during Burns’ visit, and the well as it is now, after a restoration more recently.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

The simple Bard, unbroke by rules of Art, He pours the wild effusions of the heart; And if inspir’d 'tis Nature’s pow’rs inspire; Her’s all the melting thrill, and her’s the kindling fire.

- Robert Burns, the Simple Bard

[unhinged-soapbox]

For my next player character, I've decided to be a Menace.

*my bard rides in blasting the bagpipes for all to hear*

[ce-ayr-blog]

Happy Birthday, Rabbie

Happy Birthday, Rabbie

[werewolfetone]

This poem about bush from the merry muses of caledonia by rabbie burns is killing me. rip robert burns national bard of scotland you would have done numbers on tumblr dot com

[imperatorbaronius]

One thing I loved about War of the Rohirrim and it's adaptation is…taking a few lines and making it this big thing. Is so…damn accurate to the Anglo-Saxon records

I'm a historian as my job so I often have to consult the records. I have such a love/hate relationship to the Anglo-Saxon chronicles. You'll read about a massive viking raid or invasion from Scotland into England from an Irish or Norse record. I'm talking a massive battle, death of important people and everything.

You go to check the record and…maybe a line mentions it. It's something like "and a battle occurred at Durham on this date" no knowledge about who's in the battle, why there's a battle, just that there was one.

So to me the idea that the whole siege and war in general is so fucking real. It's no wonder the details get missed, the chroniclers were probably more interested in birds or something else that happened that year that the only way the story got preserved is through bards and minstrels memorising it.

I recognise I'm just making up for the fact that they took these few lines and expanded it into a full film. But honestly…it's so accurate to actual Anglo-Saxon chronicles and record keeping

[hmg98]

Laura Main, Burns Night 2025

Singing ‘Call the Yowes’ Laura Main performs with the BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra in honour of Scotland’s National bard.

[schmergo]

My controversial opinions about the current trend of highly minimalist Shakespeare:

I like a minimalist approach to the Bard, but I think it has to be done within certain parameters.

Too many theatres seem to think that either everybody already knows the play and they don’t need to worry about the audience understanding everything OR they assume that nobody cares about Shakespeare and massively cut down everything except the celebrity leading actors’ lines. But if you play your cards right, audiences might actually enjoy other aspects of the play besides the stars!

1. A smaller cast is fine, great even. I’ve heard the estimate that Shakespeare’s plays might have been originally performed by about 15 people. A cast of 11-15 tends to work well in most spaces.

You can do an enjoyable Shakespeare play with 8-10 people (with significant cuts and doubling), but it doesn’t do anything to IMPROVE the theatergoing experience. And under 8 actors? It better be done for comedic effect or highly avant- garde, or it will be incomprehensible to most.

2. If you’re using a lot of doubling/tripling/quadrupling, you need to differentiate characters with costumes. Having everyone wear plain black minimalistic outfits or military uniforms only works if half the actors aren’t playing 5 different people.

As originally staged, Shakespeare’s plays didn’t have much in the way of sets, but costumes did a lot of storytelling. Even if yours are simple and modern, they should tell us something about the characters. The humble Friar Lawrence and the powerful Prince Escalus probably wouldn’t dress the same.

3. Similarly, if you’re doubling, tripling, etc. and significantly abridging the script, do not cut dialogue like “I have disguised myself as a monk!” or “They will never know that I’m secretly Bob!” Otherwise, they might think this is a whole new character they need to keep track of if clothes/accessories are the only signifier for that!

4. Also, try not to cut too many lines that establish a sense of place if you don’t have actual sets. Lines like, “Here we are in the forest” or “We’ve finally reached France!” are Shakespeare’s audience lifelines!

5. If you’re combining small roles to create composite characters, pay attention to those characters’ arcs. For instance, if combining all the minor lords in Macbeth into Ross and Lennox, maybe one starts more naive and the other more jaded, maybe one turns against MacB long before the other.

Don’t assign them lines that don’t make sense for their role, like if Lennox teleports between Scotland and England from scene to scene or if someone reacts with shock to news they already witnessed firsthand in an earlier scene. In general, treat your supporting characters like characters, not just vehicles to move the plot forward for the lead actor’s star turn, even if the lead is played by a celebrity!

6. Relying on voice and facial expressions only to tell the story, absent of sets, costumes, props, ensemble characters, or action scenes only works in a suitably intimate space. I don’t want to sit in the nosebleed seats in a 2,000 seat theatre and see a huge bare stage with only 9 people sitting or standing, emoting to only the first few rows.

Sitting through a play without following the story at all will make lots of people hate Shakespeare who may have otherwise fallen in love with his work after attending your play. “Stripping Shakespeare down to its bare essentials” can be raw and invigorating, just be careful not to remove binding ingredients or the whole recipe falls apart. The text can be tricky enough to comprehend, let alone with next to no visual signifiers to guide them. Work with the text, not against it! So many helpful tools are built into it!

[alpaca-clouds]

Stone Circles in France

Something I have wanted to talk about more ever since the first trailer dropped about a month ago, is the stone circle near Machecoul, that seems to play somewhat a big role in Maria's life.

We first meet Richter and Maria at the stone circle, and in season 2 we learn that she learned magic there. This is why Tera takes her there to try to control her magic once more.

So, obviously you might ask: "Why are there old stones in a circle somewhere in France?"

As a European of course, I have grown up with the Asterix comics, and hence my mind just went: "Oh, yeah, they are there because of the Galls. Duh." Though then I did some google-fu and found out that it is not quite that easy.

So, let's talk about Celts and stones.

As I spoke about yesterday: We have sadly super little information about the celts and their precursors, because the colonialization within Europe (partly through the Romans, partly through other groups) has mostly just erased most what was once known of this mostly oral culture. We know a bit about the Gaels in Ireland and Scotland (mind you: We also know that the Gaels in Ireland were not exactly the same as those in Scotland), but for everyone else we know a couple of legends that survived as oral history for long enough that someone who thought it important to record it. Part of the reason in fact that the Gaels managed to hold onto more than anyone else is that they had secret Bard Colleges until into the 18th century, where they literally taught people their oral traditions, despite it being forbidden.

Back to the stone circles.

Celts definitely loved to build structures that are made up of aesthetically aranged stones. Think Stonehenge, which is probably one of those structures everyone kinda knows. But Stonehenge is by far not the only of these sides. And in fact they are scattered all over the former celtic areas.

These two are both from Ireland, where we have the best preserved of those stone circles. But there are also several of them in France.

The best known stones in France are actually not in a circle formation, though. Those are the Carnac stones in Western France.

Those are located about 160km northwest of Machecoul. So a good bit, but still in the same general area. Another fairly well known stone formation - in this case once more a circle - is the Kergonan Cromlech. Which is again about 160km away from Machecoul.

And here is the thing: We actually do not know what is actually up with those stone formations. We know that some of them were created to commemorade the grave of a king or another important burial. We also know that some of them are aligned with certain celestial events (like the solstices). So the general idea is that those stone structures, that are mainly between neolithic and mesolithic. Which is one of the biggest problems.

See, the celts existed with their own culture throughout these areas (mainy the British Islands, France, the Iberian Peninsula and at times also in the area of todays Belgium) at times until about 1000CE. However, those stone structures were build generally speaking between 4500BC and 1500BC. So even those Celts that later were around might not even have known why those structures have been build.

The general consensus between archeologists and anthropologists is, that they were ritual sites related to religious practice. But you should also know that generally speaking archeologists and anthropologists will usually just go "ritual!" whenever we find something and are not certain what it was for. (See also the many things that might have well been dildos, which makes archeologists go: "Eh, probably some ritual practice about worshipping male fertility?!")

Though to be fair: The fact that we know some of those structures are definitely used in terms of graves - and to celebrate certain celestial events - makes it quite likely that there was a ritual component to it.

This is a map of the stone structures we know to be located in France. You might note that none of them is really close to Machecoul. Though given that Machecoul is still fairly close to the Southwestern cluster, it would not to be too off to say: "Oh, yeah, actually there was one but that got destroyed before we found it."

My big question is, what this means about Maria's powers - especially as I was informed that the fact that this is a stone circle of this kind was made very clear in the scripts from the very beginning on.

Especially given that it is called out twice that she might draw the creatures from the Otherworld...

[mprgz]

(Scotland, Highlands Council Area)

The satyrs (Homo faunus) are native to the temperate mountainous regions of Europe, and in historical times, have been pushed back to the Scottish Highlands, Pyrenees Mountains, the Carpathians, while an isolated population exists in the Ethiopian highlands. The photographs above were all taken in Scotland. They are a mono-gender species. Their X and Y chromosomes merged, which may possibly be related to their unusual leg morphology. Their ears are variable, being humanlike or elflike. This was once believed to be evidence that the satyrs were a hybrid species. However, genetic testing has disproved this. The satyrs are a fully integrated species, having no tribes of their own. They historically were bards and storytellers, and were believed to be a magical. They typically settled at very low population density, spreading themselves thin the regions around their home mountain ranges, often one family to a village. They are the only humanoid that (generally) has the same 'racial' features are the local human population. Like other non-human humanoids, the satyrs do not do well in cities, due to their weaker immune systems. They can be found all over Scotland and the North of England, often in traditional pubs working as bartenders or singing during traditional folk celebrations. While some believe that satyrs to be lucky, they were also historically associated with the vices of alehouses and brothels, and were expelled from the British Isles under Cromwell. Fortunately, most remained in hiding, and the expulsion was repealed at the Restoration of Charles II. The satyrs, being mono-gender, do not marry, and so have come into conflict with more fundamentalist religious sects. They also have a reputation as tricksters. This is, at least in part due to them embracing the whimsical role assigned to them by human society. Their deep, strong singing voices and natural charisma have been valued by many human cultures.

[little-ghostgirl-31]

The swan the sun and the spear !! PJO RP !!

@surprisingly-bitchy-up-here

It had been a little while since August got back from Scotland, he had trained under scathach ((“SCA-THA”, Celtic warrior goddess, Celtic version of Chiron)’). He’d come back stronger than ever, well, besides the fact that he’d been so depressed that he’d look into the world questioning his choices-but he’s better now!! He’s a true Celtic warrior! Except one problem…he wouldn’t be a front line warrior, he would be a bard. He’d trained so long, just to go around spreading gossip as a job.

August’s mother, Brigid, had sent him in a mission to retrieve her brother Aengus’s spears, gae derg. Why does a love god need a spear ? I’ll never know. In fact, Aengus has two spears, “the spears of great power”. Aengus had gotten his spears stolen from him by the sun god, lugh. Aengus, naturally, hated lugh’s guts, but let’s not get into that drama today.

Brigid, also hated lugh, and that’s why she’s didn’t just get it herself. Ironic isn’t it, out of all of the three Celtic sun gods, two of them hated the other. Lugh was known for his “pranks”. They were never very funny, they’d always end with funerals or prison, not in between! Lugh thought it would be “funny” to take one of Aengus’s prized possessions. Noticed I said “prized possession”, he loved those things like they were his children, so for one of them to go missing, he was distraught.

Brigid didn’t want her child getting hurt, so she sent him with him, Ariadne, daughter of Zeus. August wasn’t very…fond-of Greeks, infact the celts and Greeks had a rocky relationship. The Greeks always found ways to taunt the celts, which for some reason, they used to find funny.

The two met up at Lake Michigan, Chicago. It was like a beach, but just freezing cold with lots of rocks! “Hi!!” August said with much enthusiasm, hugging Ariadne without warning. “Hi I’m August!! And you must be Ariadne? You excited!?”

[scotianostra]

National Library of Scotland.

Just popped into the National Library to grab some pics, knowing they have always got a wee display focusing on Robert Burns, the content changes from time to time, this time it features Tam O 'Shanter.

Following the success of the Kilmarnock edition of his poems, Robert Burns put off his plans to emigrate to Jamaica instead headed for Edinburgh. He was encouraged by James Cunningham, the 13th Earl of Glencairn, who had read his poems and greatly enjoyed them.

When he arrived in 1786 the Earl received him warmly and introduced him to his circle of friends. This opened many doors to the makar and Burns described the Earl as his "titular Protector".

Through him he met Henry Erskine, the Dean of the Faculty of Advocates, who in turn introduced him to Jane, Duchess of Gordon who invited him to several of her drawing room parties.

One of his acquaintances was Agnes Maclehose, or Agnes Craig, known to her friends as Nancy. Although a romance may have been on the cards, Rabbie fell out of a carriage on his way to a dinner date at her place near Potterow and injured his ankle. The chance anything developing was gone, but the two wrote many letters to each other, you can find them online, Google them, I am out the house just now and writing this post on my phone. Inspired by Nancy he went on to write the beautiful Ae Fond Kiss about her.

Burns spent some time in Edinburgh during 1787 where he was acclaimed as a poet. The 3,000 copies of his first Edinburgh edition, dedicated to the gentlemen of the Caledonian Hunt, sold rapidly and he was popular in Edinburgh Society.

It was his success as a poet that stopped him going to The West Indies.

[wanderingmind867]

Here's my ideas for a season five of Batman 1966. This took so long to write. It felt exhausting. So I think this is my last post on all this for a while. If you read all of it, I don't think I'll be blamed for that decision.

Season 5: Season Five would be the last season before Robin goes to university and Batgirl goes on to become a congresswoman (or perhaps it's the season where all of that happens). I will work those story beats in somehow over the course of this season, but the more important thing is maintaining a sense of charm with this season. It'd still have 70-80 episodes (probably), but I think some of my focus would become dedicated to Introducing the League of Assasins, and having Batman '66 embrace the vibes of James Bond or Mission Impossible.

Episodes 1 and 2: Batman and Robin deal with Tiger Shark (Lloyd Bridges), a rich oceanographer who lost everything in a big scandal years ago; and who now moonlights as a cutthroat criminal in tiger patterned scuba gear. His hideout would be at the docks somewhere, and his henchmen would all have aquatic themed names.

Episodes 3 and 4: Batman and Robin team up to fight against The Minstrel (Van Johnson), their old musically inclined foe. He's broken out of jail to get revenge on The Dynamic Duo (as he promised he would way back in Season Two), and only the dynamic duo is capable of stopping him. But when The Minstrel hacks into all the computers and technological devices in Gotham, it becomes clear that they'll have to fight both him and his army of machines.

Episodes 5 and 6: Batman and Robin encounter The Bookworm (Roddy McDowall), who's now using famous crimes in books as the inspiration for his own crimes. But this episode doesn't explicitly feature too many Sherlock Holmes references. Mostly because I want to save all those references for a later date, because they can probably sustain a whole seperate story with The Bookworm.

Episodes 7 and 8: Catwoman (Julie Newmar) opens up a bold new discotheque in the heart of Gotham City. But things don't end up going according to plan. When Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson stop by to experience a night of fun and entertainment, they end up stumbling onto Catwoman's plot to rob all the dancers blind. Coincidentally, Barbara Gordon was also in the crowd that night (on a date with Jason Bard) and so Batgirl hops into the fight too!

In the end, it becomes clear that at least two of the Catwomen were involved in this fraudulent operation (Eartha Kitt was in on it too), and that means double trouble for our terrific trio! Can our heroes successfully save the day? Or have the feline felons finally achieved the impossible!?

Episodes 9 and 10: The Penguin becomes engaged in a new crime spree, when he learns that the deed to his family's old manor was never actually handed off to anyone. Technically, he's still in charge of the old Cobblepot estate! So Penguin manages to challenge all this in court, and successfully manages to win himself back his ancestry.

Batman and Robin still end up investigating him, though. Especially since his estate is now being used as a hideout for some of gotham's worst criminals and crooks. It'll be hard to prove, but Batman and Robin need to break Penguin's clean new record, and end the sympathy he keeps evoking by always talking about losing his heritage. Because he can't be allowed to use his manor as an aerie of evil!

Episodes 11 and 12: A story involving Mister Freeze.

Episodes 13 and 14: The League of Assassins storyline really begins here, as The Mad Hatter (David Wayne) returns to Gotham from England. He was released from Scotland Yard on good behaviour, and now he's seemingly all set up to establish a fine haberdashery in the center of town.

But despite trying his best to remain on the straight and narrow, The Mad Hatter ends up relapsing into hat thefts and mad schemes. Batman and Robin have to be called in to stop him, and he ends up sent back to the penitentiary. Meanwhile, a mysterious shadowy figure is watching from a high tech monitor, directing all their other agents to begin attacks on the Batman. He's meddled in their affairs for the last possible time…

Episodes 15, 16 and 17: Batman and Robin run into The Scarecrow, who's looking to break into a science lab to expand the power range of his fear toxin. Batman is too late to stop him, as The Scarecrow successfully tests the fear toxin on him. That's why this is a three parter, by the way. It's because part two is just one long flashback, finally introducing us to all the core events in Bruce Wayne's past. Losing his parents, being raised by his Uncle Phillip, deciding to become batman, etc. But in the end, Batman still manages to defeat Scarecrow. Mostly through the help of Robin, who helps his mentor and father figure recover his sense of self.

Episode 18: This episode would be a solo adventure with Batgirl and Jason Bard again. It'd also be the episode where I begin setting up Barbara's political ambitions. Barbara and Jason go to see a popular youth politician in the Gotham area, when said politician finds himself under attack by Poison Ivy and The Siren. Both are attacking him for different reasons (Poison Ivy for ecoterrorism reasons, The Siren for mysterious reasons tied in with the League of Assasins), but they successfully hypnotize his entire campaign team into turning on him.

When everyone turns on him, Barbara suits up as Batgirl and goes into action alongside Jason Bard. They manage to save the day, but Barbara ends the story very sad and reflective. The Gotham area doesn't have too many youthful faces in politics, and she fears it's breeding apathy. She wants to try and do something about all of that…

Episodes 19 and 20: A Christmas Special, and one of the last few storylines not to be tied to the League of Assasins plotline (for a while, at least). Mister Freeze and Marsha, Queen of Diamonds team up to hatch a mad scheme involving eternal winter and the theft of as many diamonds as possible. Batman, Robin, Batgirl and Jason Bard all end up having to deal with this case, even though it's all happening the same week as Christmas.

Sadly, crime never takes breaks, so neither can our heroes. But still, the story would end with a happy ending of sorts: Bruce Wayne and family spending the holidays with Commissioner Gordon and family. Meanwhile, the state penitentiary has organized a Christmas party. Safely allowing mad criminals like The Joker, The Riddler, Catwoman and The Penguin their brief moments of respite and revelry in a life of mad crime capers and failed schemes.

Episodes 21 and 22: A famous international criminal known as The Great Dane (Victor Borge) arrives in Gotham City, and he brings his remarkable talents with the piano to bear a most delightful fruit. While he performs in concert halls all throughout Gotham, his men go out and rob the city blind. Nobody can pin anything on him, though. He's one smooth operator.

Batman and Robin successfully manage to locate his hideout, but then they learn that the Dane was expecting them. And he's prepared a most devious trap. With the push of a button, Batman and Robin are lowered down a trap door and locked inside The Dane's Wolf cages. His babies, his wolves are the dane's pride and joy (and his engine of disposal for enemies).

Episodes 23 and 24: Batman and Robin end up dealing with The Joker, who's broken out of jail because he's been personally slighted. A popular entertainment magazine listed the best comedians of our era, and they never mentioned him! Him, The Clown Prince of Crime! Joker takes this as a sign that the world doesn't respect him, and it leads him to break out of jail to prove his skills as a comedian.

Harley Quinn also shows up in this story, serving as joker's partner in crime. She's more or less his permanent assistant now, joining him on all his capers (but occasionally pulling some of her own). But their efforts to prove their comedic value leads them to once again match wits with Batman and Robin, as the greatest comedy caper of all begins.

Episodes 25 and 26: A new villian comes to town on Valentine's Day: Cupid (played by Dean Martin), a suave performer who plans to hypnotize the citizens of Gotham. He wants to have a world where everyone loves him and fawns upon him, and he's going to use any and all methods at his disposal to achieve said result.

Episodes 27 and 28: The Riddler bursts onto the scene once more, as Gotham is menaced by riddles and clues delivered via acrostics. It's a new method for The Riddler, one he's hoping will help him finally get one up over Batman and Robin! But when Batgirl and Jason Bard also get involved, well… will four heads prevail where two might fail? Only this episode of Batman has those answers!

Episodes 29 and 30: King Tut is back in town, and he's become convinced that Catwoman (Eartha Kitt) is the goddess Bast. So he kidnaps her and tries to force her to be his queen. The Terrific Trio of Batman, Robin and Batgirl all have to come together to rescue Catwoman, as Tut himself has built an incredibly elaborate shrine to Bast's glory. Catwoman also tries to sneak out of Tut's pyramid, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to escape from. For once, King Tut has spared no expense in his worship of the gods.

Episodes 31 and 32: Batman and Robin run into The Penguin and Egghead, both of whom are competing to steal different rare bird and/or egg themed objects. The dynamic duo go out on the hunt for both of them, and they do eventually manage to capture them. But our heroes never even realized that these villians had more to their rivalry than just wanting the same objects.

No, they were competing for the rights to join the League of Assassins, a prestigious criminal guild looking to expand it's tendrils into Gotham. Lola Lasagne was the one who came to them with the proposal, and she was using them as pawns in the league's schemes. Since she escaped punishment here, she'll be back to menace Batman some other time. Namely, she'll be back next episode, as Batman and Robin travel to Texas to confront her!

Episodes 33 and 34: Batman and Robin travel to Texas to bust up Lola Lasagne's branch of the League of Assasins. But she's got a new partner down in Texas, a crooked gangster (played by Walter Matthau) who's invented many elaborate traps and gadgets to stymie the dynamic duo.

While Batman and Robin try to deal with the League, they end up accidentally running into an old set of allies: The Green Hornet and Kato! It turns out their neck of the woods was being victimized by the League of Assasins too, and so they'd come to Texas for the same reasons as Batman and Robin. So this old group of four teams up once again to battle the forces of evil! They go their separate ways at the end of the story, but they both wish each other luck on their quest to defeat the League.

So while there is an established story reason for Batman and The Green Hornet to reunite, this story is also me cynically attempting to pitch a Green Hornet season 2, where The Hornet and Kato fight off the many powerful members of the League of Assasins, who're attempting to infiltrate the criminal underworld.

Episodes 35 and 36: Batgirl and Jason Bard are helping defend Gotham while Batman and Robin are away, but they end up running into an old foe again: Signalman (played by Andy Griffith). Signalman has broken out of jail to try and get the attention of Catwoman (played by Lee Meriwether) who has some kind of connection to him. What that connection is remains unclear. But the one clear thing is that Signalman really cares about her, and he wants to draw her attention again.

Episodes 37 and 38: This could be a two parter, or it could be another tv movie. But Two-Face is back again. And this time we're going to do the comics thing, with the split personality and the anger and the paranoia. Harvey Dent is Gotham's District Attorney again, and he's interrogating an infamous mobster in one of Gotham's Courthouses. But just when it looks like he's got the crook on the ropes, he pulls out a vial of acid and splashes Harvey right in the face!

Since Batman was sitting in the gallery (in his civilian identity of Bruce Wayne), he was unable to get to Harvey in time. And by the time he does get to him, it's too late. His previous deformation has happened again, and this time it might be permanent. Two-Face is back, and his two sided crime spree is just beginning anew! Robbing two piece suits, bicycle shops, bicoloured stores, etc. Everything fits the Two theme, or else!

So this episode does actually have all the tragedy of a modern Two-Face story. Because it's clear Harvey Dent is mentally unwell, and that he's got a temper and probably really needs help. But the silly aspects are kept in touch too. Namely the obsession with the number two. Everything is dictated by his coin, and all his crimes (whether they be good crimes or bad crimes) hinge on some variation on the number two.

Oh, and the final note about this story: Batman is led to believe the League of Assasins is responsible for Harvey's disfigurement, which makes him now have a personal vendetta against the League. But did the League actually do it? Shockingly, no. This time it was all the Court of Owls (something we're not gonna learn until at least a season or two away from now).

Episodes 39 and 40: The Cluemaster and Marsha, Queen of Diamonds team up to commit a series of deadly crimes involving magic and puzzling clues. Batman and Robin are almost defeated and killed by this mad team, but they eventually manage to capture them. And once they have them in custody, we learn that they were brought together by the League of Assassins, who had many agents and allies in the Gotham area. Marsha and Cluemaster refuse to rat on their allies, besides giving Batman a clue to investigate in London.

Episode 41: Batman takes off on an cruise to London, little dreaming that Catwoman (Julie Newmar) is also on the boat, planning to hold it for ransom. Her and Batman end up getting in a scuffle over it, but by the time their fight is over, the boat has been utterly ruined. So Batman sends her to jail, and then prepares to take a flight to London instead of a cruise. But little does Batman know; a second Catwoman (Lee Meriwether) is continuing to follow him. She masquerades as the pilot on his plane and helps him get to england.

And before anyone asks: Robin isn't in this episode (or the next few in this league storyline). Batman was worried about Robin after his near death in the fight against Cluemaster and Marsha, so he's forbidden him from following him to London. All this means is that Robin and Batgirl are going to a nice team-up story back in gotham, however.

Episode 42: With Batman leaving for London, someone has to guard Gotham. So Robin and Batgirl guard it while Batman is away. Batgirl successfully manages to find time away from running her political campaign to help, leaving Jason busy running all of that (and unavailable to help in this episode). And while it's just the two of them in gotham, they end up having to deal with both The Joker and The Bookworm, who are competing to steal a rare copy of Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy, which has recently been acquired by a famous antiquarian living in Gotham.

Episodes 43 and 44: Arriving in London, Batman ends up fighting off against some old enemies of his: Lord Marmaduke Ffogg and Lady Penelope Peasoup. It turns out that they're the ones responsible for testing Cluemaster and Marsha to see if they were worthy to join the League. But before Batman can get to them, they distract him by sending The Puzzler (yet another of the league's operatives) to bait him into a trap.

The Puzzler leads Batman to a castle near Loch Ness, where him and another of the league's operatives, a young socialite known as Lady Ophelia Keswick, bait Batman into a trap involving illusions and drugged food. Batman manages to escape from their trap in the castle dungeons, but he's too late to capture Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup. They escaped. But at least Batman can take The Puzzler and Lady Keswick to Scotland Yard. Then it's back to the United States, where Batman has to await news of the League's activities.

Episodes 45 and 46: Before Batman can leave for Gotham, he's baited into investigation a mysterious crime wave in Paris. The perpetrators? None other than The Clock King and The Sandman! Both members of The League, they've combined their skills to make a sand that can freeze time. So together, these two have been robbing Paris blind with their new "time sand". Only Batman can stop them now; but is even the dynamic duo up to the challenge?

This episode would definitely have a famous french celebrity in a wall climbing cameo. Maybe Maurice Chevalier, or Leslie Caron or something? Definitely a famous french celebrity of the 60s or 70s.

Episodes 47 and 48: Batman returns to Gotham City, only to find it's now been taken over by the combined forces of Nora Clavicle, Poison Ivy and The Siren. Turns out Nora Clavicle was an agent of the League too, and now she's planning an extra special trap for Batman and his allies. Locking him and robin in jail and manipulating most of the city's women, it ends up falling on Batgirl and Batwoman's soldiers to save the day and rescue Gotham from the evils of these three villainesses.

And yes, this episode contains a record number of women. Pretty much all the major female henchgirls over the past four seasons make minor camoes in this episode, excluding the ones who actually seemed to reform. That's just to give you an idea of how intensely jam packed this episode set is.

Episodes 49 and 50: Batman and Robin have to deal with The Minstrel, once again. Since The Minstrel's whole attire and gimmick revolves around Gilbert and Sullivan's song: "A Wandering Minstrel, I", The Minstrel has logically decided to take everything up to the extreme now. Crimes specifically based on different Gilbert and Sullivan operas drive the Minstrel's new crimes. Can Batman and Robin stop this musical maestro before he steals the spotlight (and the spoils) once more?

Episodes 51 and 52: Barbara Gordon's political campaign is almost destroyed by False Face and Clayface II, both of whom have been hired by the League of Assasins to distract Batman and Robin. So Batman, Robin, Batgirl and Jason Bard all end up having to deal with the tumultuous chaos of False Face and Clayface's frame job on Barbara Gordon's congressional campaign. Meanwhile, the leads on The League of Assasins are still null and void for Batman, something that won't change for at least a few more episodes.

Episodes 53 and 54: Batman deals with Shame, who's currently working solo again (since Nora Clavicle convinced his wife to leave him).

Episodes 55, 56 and 57: The Joker and The Scarecrow both end up breaking out of jail at the same time. But instead of having those two disrupt the orderly structure of gotham society, a new villian pops up to steal their thunder! Presenting The Thespian (Leslie Nielsen), a dramatic tragedian capable of bringing a tear to anyone's eye. With a charmingly delivered speech, this mad performer can dampen anyone's mood (including The Joker and The Scarecrows).

So while Batman and Robin start out Episode One planning to deal with Joker and Scarecrow, Episodes Two and Three end up firmly focused in on The Thespian and his tragic crimes. A real showstopper, this villianous rogue commands the scene whenever he's in it. With his hideout at the theatre and his henchmen all having themed nicknames based around tragedy and sadness, he truly is a foe to be threatened by.

Luckily for Batman, though, him and robin manage to successfully defeat The Thespian by turning his own gases back around on himself. Now reduced to a crying wreck, Batman manages to learn that he's another agent of the League of Assasins. And from him, Batman successfully pries the location of Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup. So finally, Batman can get back on the League's trail (solo, once again).

Episodes 58, 59 and 60: Batman heads to a small country nestled in the Balkans, where he finally manages to confront Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup. But before he can defeat them, they reveal their new ally in the form of Doctor Cassandra Spellcraft and her husband, Cabala. Yes, these two old foes of Batman were also members of the League of Assassins, and Batman has walked right into their trap!

Now trapped in a dungeon, unmasked and at the league's mercy, Batman ends up meeting Talia al Ghul (played by Sophia Loren), daughter of Ra's al Ghul, the head of The League. Teaming up with her, the two of them successfully manage to escape from the dungeon and confront our four antagonists. But in the middle of the scuffle, Lord Ffogg attacks Talia with a blade. And in retaliation, Talia shoots Lord Ffogg in cold blood.

After Batman comforts her for a little while, Talia leaves without a word. She leaves Batman to report Lord Ffogg's death, and to get the other three criminals to jail safely. But now that Batman has made himself known to the highest echelons of this secret society, it's only a matter of time before their leader comes looking for him…

Episodes 61 and 62: Batman returns to Gotham, just in time to help Robin deal with a new crime spree being put on by The Riddler and The Bookworm, who've come to realize they're not that different from each other. Together, the two of them have led a massive crime spree while Batman was in Europe. And Robin was unable to handle them all alone. So now that he's back, Batman has to try and help Robin deal with them.

Episode 63: Batgirl and Jason Bard have an adventure completely independent of Batman and Robin. While the Dynamic Duo is busy with The Riddler and The Bookworm, these two have to deal with The Penguin, who's been planning to orchestrate a separate scheme involving the illegal smuggling of some priceless caviar and cigars. His expensive tastes require him to smuggle most of his fine food and amenities in from across the ocean, you see. So Batgirl and Jason have to go out at sea and play coast guards for the day, as they prevent Penguin's shady smuggling deals from going through.

Episodes 64 and 65: Batman has to deal with Lady Shiva (played by Nancy Kwan), an elite member of the League of Assasins who was sent out to try and kill Batman. She stalks him all over Gotham City, which leaves Batman so distracted he never once manages to find the time to investigate Robin's absence. But that's a topic for the next episode. For now, we get a martial arts style brawl between Batman and Lady Shiva.

Episode 66: While Batgirl runs her political campaign and Batman deals with Lady Shiva, Robin has successfully snuck off from Gotham City to try and pursue the League of Assassins. So in this episode, we catch up with him in the middle of asia somewhere. While he's trying to infiltrate the league's headquarters, he accidentally runs into Catwoman (Lee Meriwether) too. It turns out she's been hunting the League since way back in episode 34. So she's successfully gained entrance into the League, and now it's time for her to report back to Gotham with her findings.

But because of Robin entering the picture, things get more intense. Catwoman and Robin have to successfully escape from the league's headquarters without being caught. We catch brief glimpses of Ra's al Ghul and his men, but we don't really have any guest villians this time. This episode ends with Robin and Catwoman getting caught by Ra's, and it's really more of an episode designed to build up to the dramatic two parter that begins after this.

Episodes 67 and 68: Batman is confronted by Ra's al Ghul (played by Ricardo Montalban), head of the League of Assassins. He's kidnapped Robin and Catwoman (Lee Meriwether), and he baits Batman into working with him to save Dick Grayson from a rival assassins society. But the twist is naturally that there was no rival assasins society, and this was all just an excuse for Ra's to test Batman.

Batman finds Robin half beaten to death, and he loses it. He beats Ra's in a fencing match, a hand to hand combat duel, and then successfully blows up the league's hideout somewhere in asia. This looks like the end of Ra's al Ghul and his League of Assassins. But it probably won't end up being the end…

Episodes 69 and 70: Batman is trying to deal with a still recuperating robin, yet an old enemy from the past has resurfaced to menace gotham yet again. The Cavalier (played by Tony Curtis), that evil musketeer of mayhem, has returned to loot gotham for everything it's worth. And Batman has to stop him, while also protecting a recovering robin from taking excessive damage.

Since Robin is injured and Batgirl is away (currently running for congress with her campaign manager Jason Bard), Batman has to turn to Batwoman to help him stop The Cavalier. And Batwoman brings in her niece Bette, the original Batgirl (although she now goes by Flamebird). So this new/old trio of crime busters now have to team up to stop The Cavalier and protect Gotham City.

Episodes 71, 72 and 73: It's Halloween Night, and Bruce Wayne is holding a fancy party with Kathy Kane. Dick Grayson is beginning to recover, so he's there alongside Bette Kane. Batgirl and Jason can't make it, but Aunt Harriet, Leslie Thompkins, Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara all show up. The night is going incredibly well; all until Solomon Grundy shows up to ruin things.

Yes, it turns out that all the old rumours about Slaughter Swamp were correct. Every Halloween Night, he rises from the grave to wreak havok on the people of Gotham. Being a mindless creature of the swamp, there's no way to stop him. You can only delay him until he sinks back into his grave. So with him on the rampage, Batman, Batwoman and Flamebird have to save the day yet again. They delay Grundy until the Dawn of November 1st, but he still seems unstoppable. Over the course of the night, Catwoman (Julie Newmar) even joins them, but nothing helps.

It's then that a dimensional wormhole opens, and The Huntress (Helena Wayne) steps out. She reveals that Solomon Grundy actually isn't from this earth. He's from Earth-Two, and he needs to be sent back where he belongs. So Batman, Catwoman and Huntress team up to capture him (while Batwoman and Flamebird protect the citizens of Gotham). During this episode, we'd hint at Helena's parents being the Batman and Catwoman of her earth, but we'd never say it outright. And after Solomon Grundy is corralled back through the dimensional portal, we'd never see her or solomon grundy again. So yeah, the Halloween special would be absolutely wild here.

Episode 74: This hour long finale barely even features Batman in it. It's all about Batgirl and Jason Bard. With Batgirl running for Congress in her civilian identity as Barbara Gordon, election day is about to come to pass. Will Barbara win!? Well, we won't know that until the end of the special. Because Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to crash the polling stations, and they bring chaos and mayhem to the streets. Batgirl has to suit up and prepare to go into action against them.

So Batgirl defeats Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and then saves the day. After that whole adventure, we get the results of the election: Barbara won her election, and she's going to DC as a Congresswoman! Flying out to watch her get signed into Congress are Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Kathy Kane, Bette Kane and Commissioner Gordon and his wife. It's a beautiful moment. It's also probably one of the last times we're going to see Batwoman and Flamebird. But rest assured: this isn't the end of Batgirl. No, Batgirl is going to do what she did in the comics: continue doing superhero work, and balance that with life as a politician.

[blues824]

hii could i get black butler characters (ciel, sebastian, claude, alois + undertaker) reacting to the reader who’s basically like has the same abilities as spiderman but they were from the future and now they’re in their world so they spend their time going on missions for the queen ? :O

Gender-neutral reader. Also, I hate spiders, so Claude is easily my least favorite character, but I somehow made his and Undertaker's the most romantic.

Ciel Phantomhive

He has heard word of a certain heroic figure that roams the streets of England. He ordered Sebastian to find out who exactly you were, and imagine his surprise when he found out it was you, who was a loyal servant to Her Majesty.

The young Phantomhive lord was definitely intrigued in your abilities, since you were completely human. He had you explain, and you had to tell him that you were from the future and the Queen employed you as her ‘knight in the night’ of sorts.

You two were often called lapdogs of the Queen, but your fights never ended in death. Yours ended in Scotland Yard getting ahold of the perpetrators and finding them wrapped up in spiderwebs. Ciel had seen a crime scene that you had been at, and he was very weirded out by it.

One time, you stayed at the Phantomhive Manor overnight since you visited and a storm came on. Mey-rin was running with expensive china and she tripped. Your spidey-sense went off and you quickly caught the dinnerware. Ciel spat out his tea in shock as he stared at you with wide-eyes.

Sebastian Michaelis

He had also caught wind of the person who prowls around at night because of the morning paper. His master had ordered to unmask you, and he couldn’t say he was exactly surprised that it was you. You always came up with not-that-great excuses, so he kind of figured it out.

You remind him of his arachnid counterpart, Claude. Faustus was a spider demon, so the correlation was understandable. However, your personality differed greatly. Plus, you did work for the Queen rather than the Trancy brat.

Sebastian has had the opportunity to gaze upon your ‘victims’ at a crime scene, all wrapped within the web that you spun. It could serve as a metaphor: he was caught in the web of your heart, finally getting to experience what it was like to be the prey rather than the predator.

Once, when you had accepted the invitation to stay at the Phantomhive Manor, the two of you were up late at night and just relaxing in each other’s presence. Then, your spidey-sense was activated and you shot a web out and accidentally caught Bard. It was very amusing to your beloved demon, but he assisted in getting the chef out.

Alois Trancy

Out of pure curiosity and frustration, he ordered Claude to show him who you were. Upon snatching the mask off of your face, Alois let out a gasp of surprise. Why, it was Her Majesty’s other lapdog! How exciting!

You can not tell me that he wouldn’t have you use your abilities to amuse him. String up his servants to the chandelier to make him laugh as they tried their hardest to escape. It was inhumane, but we all know how he is.

He has seen photographs of crime scenes where criminals are stuck in webs for the police to easily detain them, and he thinks it’s hilarious. The fact that those perpetrators were helpless as they got arrested just fueled the fire in him. 

One time, you two were out in the garden, and you had the very spontaneous idea to cling to a tree and swing. You told him to grab onto you (think MJ and Spiderman in Far From Home), and while it was a very small swing, Alois loved feeling the air on his face. He asked (demanded) you to do it again and again.

Claude Faustus

When Alois had ordered him to unmask you, he had no reaction in finding out that it was you. He already pieced it together weeks ago, considering this figure that stopped criminals came at the same time you were brought into the Queen’s court.

Two spiders just living their lives, one human and one demon. You both are caught in each other’s webs, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Besides, the abilities you have just compliment each other. You can shoot webs and he can evade them as well as break through them.

He has also had the opportunity to gaze upon a crime scene that you obviously visited, seeing as the criminals were wrapped in webbing. That’s actually how you met for the first time: you thought he was a perpetrator and you shot a web at him. He evaded it, but as your arm was out he grasped it and pulled you to his chest.

That moment is when he realized that you must have had another sense that told you he was suspicious. You later told him that it was your ‘spidey-sense’ and it was like an inhuman instinct that you frequently act upon.

Undertaker

He’s been quite sad because of the spider-like figure that has been arresting criminals rather than killing them so they end up in his shop. However, it was one day where he had decided to take a stroll to clear his mind and he saw you in an alleyway, with your costume still on but your mask was off.

What an amazing discovery! He wished he could dissect you so that he could find out how you got his abilities, but you were still alive and well. You just told him instead, how you were from the future and you got bit by a radioactive spider and that’s how you got your powers.

Undertaker has seen some crime scenes, and he’s utterly fascinated by how you shoot webs that leave the criminals immobile as the police and Scotland Yard come get them. You can not fight me when I say that when you both are romantically involved, he would kiss the web glands on your wrists. 

You both make a great couple, honestly. There have been a few times where your spidey-sense goes off when your boyfriend here tries to make a ‘doll’. They often try to attack you for some reason, so you shoot your webbing out. Undertaker rushes over to make sure you’re alright, worried that the doll had hit you.

[twitter-bores-me-to-death]

Blue Revenge arc, a turning point in Ciel and Lau's relationship? A theory.

This is a follow-up to my analysis of chapter 212

Tl;dr Aboard the train, Ciel and Sebastian are being watched. Although well aware of the situation they're in, both engage in a leisurely discussion about their top secret plan for all to listen, while sipping tea.

I have been thinking... If Scotland Yard is listening in to Ciel and Sebastian's little chat, doesn't them mentioning Lau being directly involved in their operation plus potentially trying to smuggle some advanced technology to China, essentially amount to throwing him under the bus?

I believe an arrest warrant was issued for the sevants already (Finny was making the front page of The Times alongside Ciel and Seb), so mentioning them offhandedly is kind of inconsequential at this point.

Lau, however, he's been hiding our crew for a few weeks yet the police didn't knock on his door, meaning he wasn't that high on their list of suspects.

Looking at the way Ciel speaks about his relationship with Lau, it is a purely buisiness-based, mutually beneficial one. He doesn't believe he was done any favours for free and Lau himself did say he was expecting the debt to be payed with interest.

O!Ciel is currently embroiled in a mass murder, blood harvesting scandal. If the police catch wind of Lau, one of his accomplices, effectively acquiring advanced medial tech shipped for China, wouldn't that add more allegations against o!Ciel? He could be charged with treason, to top it off. Lau is obviously not paying any mind to his actions' repercussions on o!Ciel's already muddied reputation. He could even be planning to flee England altogether if everything goes smoothly.

and Ciel, of course, is aware of that.

Which is why, if you look closely at Ciel and Sebastian's discussion, the most they do in regards to the other servants is drop their names and some personal trivia. Nothing about their missions or whereabouts.

In contrast to that:

-Ciel spared no effort exposing Lau's ties to the mafia, his location, his goals AND his motivations. Not only that but Sebastian backed him up, saying that there was no doubt about his operation's success... They are basically urging, nay, *begging* the police to go to Athena Sanatorium to thwart Lau's schemes, be it by getting him arrested or simply having the Yard sieze the medical equipment (and the miracle healer?) before he gets his hands on it.

Ciel and Lau are playing 4D chess and unfortunately for Lau, Ciel is three steps ahead of him. He refuses to compromise and is ready to cut Lau off the second he's served his purpose, aka dismantling the blood collecting facility.

Now, the question is: What will become of Bard in all of this? I don't know. I doubt Ciel informed him of his plans but I am sure he'll come back to retrieve him if he ever gets caught. Maybe Bard is sharp enough to sniff out Ciel's plot and retreat in time.

In conclusion: Could we possibly be witnessing Lau's villain origin story? If he connects the dots and manages to slip through the fingers of justice, he'll certainly try to get back at our earl. Which will unavoidably lead to an epic confrontation not unsimilar to that of season 1 of the anime!

(Yes, I believe that for better or worse, the manga will follow the main plot points of the anime...)