#Scooter's personal trauma

[icalldavidlynchautistic]

As an autistic man, who struggles with severe touch aversion, my first exposure to Eraserhead was after I visited my aunt and uncle in the hospital when my cousin was born, and they handed her to me.

I've genuinely never felt more love, fear, revulsion, and shame in my life. She was so tiny and delicate and wonderful, and they put her in my arms, and I held her against my chest, and I looked down at her, and said "if you dont take this baby back right now im going to puke on her, please for the love of GOD-" and my uncle grabbed her, and I turned around and immediately vomited blood on the floor. Turns out I had clenched my stomach so hard that my ulcer had perforated.

I had PLENTY of time while I recovered to consider the fact that I should, and I CANNOT stress this enough, NEVER be a father, how that would be EXTREMELY unethical of me, I mean, my God, I can't HOLD the baby or my STOMACH WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE. and what if the kid was, and I know this is a long shot, but still, Neurotypical? I'm definitely not equipped for that. God, is this how neurotypical parents feel about us? MY POOR MOTHER. holy shit, what if I had a kid, and that kid liked PEANUT BUTTER. then I'd have to have it (the peanut butter) IN MY HOUSE .. I can't live like that. I immediately consulted my doctor about a vasectomy, and they actually called my therapist about it.

I'm retrospect, the whole situation was hysterical. I had already started working at the movie theater with my uncle by that time, and when I recovered, he did a midnight screening of Eraserhead for me, and I've been hooked on David Lynch ever since. I genuinely felt so relieved that someone understood the EXACT feeling of deep and utter horror, and soul crushing shame that I had felt, holding that sweet child for the first time.

They still made me her godfather, and I love that kid more than any living being on gods green earth. whenever I'm babysitting, we play with my model airplanes, that i used to be so protective of. You have to make sure the airplanes don't crash into each other, and that's how she's learned not to touch me. When she was 5, she told me that she wanted to be a pilot when she grows up. She's 10 now, and she still wants to be a pilot, and yes, I do cry happy tears about it, every time she leaves. I can only hope that as she grows, she'll continue to think of her cousin Scooter the same way I think of my Uncle: a huge, and wonderful influence on her life. But you better BELIEVE I got that vasectomy.

You know, Eraserhead hits real different when you have a baby.

[worldclueless]

trying to gather my thoughts and put this as eloquently as possible.

if you haven't caught up, recently jenson button gave an interview in which he gave advice to lewis hamilton about his move to ferrari. unsurprisingly, this spurred some 'discourse' (shudders) about how lewis ex-teammates-turned-pundits (mostly nico and jenson Imao) tend to give weird borderline-psycho analysis about lewis even though it has been quite a significant amount of time since they were teammates and who knows if this analysis is even too applicable to lewis as he has changed A LOT since his tenure with them.

and again, unsurprisingly, this brought out a chunk of the fanbase that can never pass up the opportunity to give a dig at lewis and treat guy's like jenson and nico's words like gospel. one frankly gross post went on and on and on about how unbothered jenson was during his time as lewis's teammate (no he was not) and how much of a paranoid weirdo freak lewis was about being challenged by a teammate (never mind the fact his first teammate was fernando fucking alonso).

and this is a worrying trend i see growing amongst a faction of f1 fans who try and ignore the context of lewis and his place in the sport. lewis is a black man in a predominantly white sport. jenson nor nico, no matter how much people will place them on some babygirl pedestal, will NEVER know what that means or what this is like so whenever i hear them recount their time together as teammates, the context of this is always lost.

in 2011, lewis had split with his dad as his manager and was going through a tumultuous time with his girlfriend, nicole. i don't know about you, but if my personal relationships with the people i cared about were on rocky grounds, that would tend to affect how i interact with people at my workplace. nevermind the fact that it was also magazine gossip fodder. that type of spotlight affects you heavy. especially working in the toxic environment of early 2010s mcclaren.

nowadays, lewis, at best, is professional and cordial with both jenson and nico which is not a problem but for some reason some fans think lewis's attention and time should be spent fawning and talking about these men. they're unable to see him as somebody that is not fanfiction fodder for their white faves and it is generally disturbing the lengths they will go to to justify their lack of empathy, compassion, and consideration of his place as he tries to exist within a space that was resistant to accommodating his identity (2007 barcelona testing anyone?).

and if it wasn't bad enough, these same 'fans' have the cheek to imply that hamilton is psychologically weak for not engaging with these guys beyond a professional level. the same man who was racially abused by grown white adults since the age of 12 is psychologically weak. wow. truly stunning. and these fans always give a half-hearted "yeah of course lewis has gone through some racial trauma but-" but nothing. end of. your what fav and you have no fucking clue as to what racial trauma does to black children and how it seriously impacts them. so don't ever try to erase this impact. you're overstepping: it's not your place.

so if it wasn't clear: lewis hamilton does not owe your white fav anything. if he wants to mind his business while rolling by in his scooter, that's not a problem. you brocedes/slagclaren types that only tolerate him for his proximity to these white men are frankly, racist, and your pathetic attempts to hide behind your racism because lewis isn't as perfect as he tries to be' (yeah no shit) make it such a hostile environment for black fans who can smell your bs from a mile away.

[welcometogrouchland]

Guys if you've ever given a shit about any of the insane problematic women I've blogged about before then you will watch Bodkin on netflix rn

It's a convoluted murder mystery set in a fictional town in bum-fuck nowhere Ireland and while I would hardly call it prestige television, I would argue that it's good television, especially in the character writing even if the plot gets kind of silly at times but none of that matters now BC I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR A MINUTE HOLY SHIT SHE'S INSANE Her names Dove and she's the world's most unethical journalist haunted by the sins of her past with terrible interpersonal skills and a bad personality and I love her so much

She wears sunglasses at night. She relentlessly mocks and bullies her coworkers bc she's determined to never get close to anyone ever again and can only ask them for help when literally reduced to a non-lucid sobbing puddle during a drug trip where she relives her convent trauma. She constantly commits misdemeanor crimes in the name of journalism which is both incredibly noble from one angle and incredibly destructive and inconsiderate from literally every other bc of how hard she goes with it. She stole an electric scooter and spends the entire episode riding around a rural Irish village investigating things. On the scooter. She fucking hates nuns soooooo much. She desperately wants connection. She will blow up every relationship she's ever had, using them for work reasons until they genuinely can't stand her anymore, "for the story". She's like Lois Lane on crack. Like Batman but a woman. She's even gay

Go watch Bodkin and take into your hearts the gospel of Dubheasa 'Dove' Maloney.

NOW!

[marzipanandminutiae]

Sorry if this is inappropriate, but I was kinda wondering what caused your house fire? What to avoid doing the future if it was preventative ya know

My housemate's e-bike battery was charging in their room, and combusted. I was at work; thankfully everyone else got out safely. But we all lost our apartment and most of our personal possessions. The bike's owner lost literally everything- they were in the shower and escaped wearing only a towel. Their room looked like a crater; that's not an exaggeration.

I support electric vehicles as part of the fight against climate change, but I REALLY need people to be aware of the risks. The lithium ion batteries they use are not like the one in your phone or your computer, or even in an electric car. While any of the above can catch fire, it seems like the ones in e-bikes and e-scooters are more likely to at the moment. And the fire burns hot and fast- I've heard conventional extinguishers can't even put it out, though I don't know much about that. This wasn't an off-brand bike or battery, either. It was by Rad Power, a well-known and popular company.

Follow all the recommendations for charging the batteries: on a flat surface, attended, and DO NOT leave them plugged in past full charge. That can help, but since this battery was not fully charged when it exploded, I strongly recommend charging them outside if at all possible. I believe some people do it inside an enclosed charcoal grill, the round sort with a cover? The cord would have to stick out but it's still SOME sort of protection in case of fire.

Personally, I will never live in a house with one again, but I have Trauma Reasons and some people need them for cheap reliable transportation. I get that. They're here to stay. We just have to protect ourselves until the technology gets past its teething troubles.

Close your bedroom door when sleeping and when you leave the house. I lost a lot, but my room was the least damaged because my door was closed- the fire literally skipped over my room and up through the ceiling crawl-space.

Beyond that- basic fire safety, I guess. Don't leave candles unattended, etc.

Take care of yourselves, people. Trust me, you don't want to go through even a nonlethal house fire- and this was the best-case scenario.

[palmettoshitposts]

ideas from a foxes with less trauma au im too lazy to actually write. they are basically just friends who’ve been thrown in the same dorms and chaos ensues. here’s what you could expect to see if you entered the dorm:

andrew is always just on top of furniture he shouldn’t be. he especially loves sitting on the fridge and kicking away anyone who tries to open in.

allison and seth are engaged in a months long “who can sneak up and punch the other the hardest” competition. allison is currently winning. the bruise on seth’s back is so alarming he has to get it checked.

nicky regularly sits on aaron’s head to “cure his homophobia”.

neil and kevin competitive juggling (because that one post about that on here has me in a fucking crack chokehold, it such a fucking funny concept)

renee painting the scenes before her in a renaissance style. they are these glorious, stunning works of art that just depict the stupid twats around her. she’s so proud of them.

dan on matt’s shoulders to change a lightbulb even though matt could 100% change it himself. she uses his ears to ‘steer’ him in different directions.

jean and jeremy live in another block but jean gets drunk at a frat party and climbs through neil’s window mistakenly. andrew comes running in hearing a loud bang and finds neil and jean on the floor - jean because he’s drunk and neil because he was sleep deprived and tangled in his duvet when he tried to get up. that’s how jean and neil become friends.

neil scales the building to meet andrew on the roof, regularly. andrew is so outwardly exasperated but he’s weirdly into it?

renee is randomly hyperfixated on bonsai, but this is ruined when kevin, drunk as all fuck, is dared to eat the leaves and ruins her progress. she gets her revenge by cutting holes into all of his socks.

neil exclusively speaks german in a terrible accent one night that actually makes nicky cry. nicky is so pained he rings erik to complain and erik pretends neil is doing a great job. nicky thinks he’s lost his mind.

jean is just constantly high and gets very philosophical. but, like, badly philosophical. he’s either asking if ants piss in a deep, thoughtful tone or quoting obscure lady gaga lyrics. jeremy, equally as high, thinks jean must be a god.

neil inhales the helium from allison’s peppa pig birthday balloon and actually cracks a rib from laughing at his own voice.

dan walks in to see kevin in stilettos with his head rubbing against the ceiling and just slowly reverses.

renee steals the mobility scooter of a homophobic old man and exclusively uses it to get around campus. she calls it the pussy wagon to stop her male gay friends from using it. surprisingly this works.

allison gives a drunken one person rendition of the wizard of oz. everyone watches and finds it hilarious but renee cannot breath by the end of it. allison has never seen the wizard of oz.

they all get high and andrew exclusively talks to them in the lyrics of all star by smash mouth.

neil coaxes an actual fox into aaron’s bed and aaron screams so loud the police get called because it sounds like someone’s being attacked. for once, no one is being attacked.

kevin is a closeted amateur ventriloquist. as in, he practises in the closet.

renee fixes all of their (in this universe, minimal) trauma by holding a weekly story time where she reads them all picture books.

[melishade]

Was the part with the flowers reference to this?

now I’m imagining Primus singing Akuma no ko to Ymir either the original or a English cover

Actually the flowers are in reference to IDW. Specifically:

My knowledge of IDW is spotty, but I do remember when chapters were being dropped that this was fuel for the transformers fandom. Very angsty fanart kept popping up, specifically around IDW Megatron.

Because these flowers are called Remembrance Flowers, and in IDW, the flowers and the statue represent the amount of people that were killed by that one particular person. Each flower, represents a soul, so when the comic ends up cutting to this panel about Megatron's flowers, it basically showed the weight of Megatron's actions and all the lives that he's taken. Because his field of flowers is extremely massive. I think he drove through his flowers with a scooter and he was out there for a few hours.

So instead of the Eldians being connected through a tree in the Paths, Primus has altered everything so that the souls of each Eldian are present and visible, no longer bound by the rules of the Paths and allowed to just be individuals.

And in regards to the scene with Primus and Ymir, Akuma no ko doesn't fit simply because it's a love song meant for Eren and Mikasa. The song that I think fits, and I've put it on the playlist, is this:

A Million Miles Away from the Belle movie back in 2021. The Belle movie is supposed to be a modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and while the story is extremely imperfect, but the songs are really great, especially in the dub.

But instead of Belle being a love story between Belle and the Beast, it's about a girl named Suzu who resents her late mother for sacrificing her life to save a random girl during a storm, essentially leaving her behind. This trauma prevents her from going back to singing, and she's only able to sing again in a virtual reality setting as Belle. And the Beast that she interacts with, causing a lot of problems in the internet, turns out to be a boy who's being abused by his father, along with his little brother. When Suzu finds this out and says she's Belle, he obviously doesn't believe her and her willingness to help. So she ends up shedding her avatar and sings this song to prove to the boy she is who she says she is and she wants to help.

Why do I bring this up? Because I think this song fits how Primus feels about Ymir. He heard Ymir's cry for help from across the universe, her cry transcending time and space, as she's locked away in the Paths. He traveled through the memories of the titan shifters in the Paths, trying to find the answers he needs and trying to find her so he could save her. He says he's been in the Paths for 2,000 years, but if he's searching through the memories of all the titan shifters, it would no doubt be longer, as he has to account for different perspectives and lives.

Ending the power of the titans was the second goal Primus had. His first goal was to save Ymir, simply because he heard her crying out for help and he didn't want to leave her alone. The chorus fits this perfectly:

Come back to me, and stay by my side I feel my heart shake Come, ease this ache I'm standing over here, reaching for you A million miles away, come back and stay No matter how far the memories may be When I close my eyes, you're all that I see Come back to me A million miles away, come back and stay

And now try to read this while listening to the song:

Primus pulled back and looked at her blank face. He cradled Ymir’s face in his hands, and felt tears brimming in his eyes. “Little One, you suffered so much. You gave up so much, but what he did to you was not right. That wasn’t love. He hurt you and used you. He took everything from you and you did nothing to deserve that.”

Primus felt Ymir flinch and continued. “You are not a slave. What the king told you...that was wrong and cruel and unjustified. You’re not a slave, you’re not a devil, and you’re not a god. You are just a little girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders. A heavy burden, that causes nothing but misery.”

Primus saw her expression change. There was light flickering in her blank eyes, and he could’ve sworn he saw the color of her eyes.

“You do not deserve this,” Primus declared, “And I wish to take you far away from here…but…I cannot.”

Eren was shocked. What did he mean by he can’t? He stated earlier that he had the ability to do so! Why was he saying that he couldn’t now?!

“Little One, you were never given a chance to choose what you wanted,” Primus explained, “All your life, you were told by others what to do, but that is not what you want. I want so badly to take you far away from here and give you the peace and love you deserve. But I do not wish to force you to come with me. I wish for that to be your choice.”

Primus took her hands into his own. “If you wish to stay here forever, then…I will not stop you. I will leave you here, and you will not see me again. If you wish to come with me, I would be more than happy to take you as far away from here as possible. If you are not certain, then I will wait here as long as possible until you come to the decision.”

Ymir’s flickering gaze went to Primus’ hands holding her own. Ymir opened her mouth, and she could feel the strain in her voice. She struggled to form the words and felt like her throat was burning from trying to form it. But Primus patiently waited for her to speak. He waited and waited until…

 “…why?...”

Primus felt it: her confusion, her intrigue, her denial. She wanted desperately to understand the reason why a stranger came all this way to find her. Why was he willing to give a slave the whole world? Why did such a powerful being travel for 2,000 years to find a pitiful girl? There had to be a good reason.

“…Because I heard your cry, and I wanted nothing more than to save you.” Primus answered.

Ymir’s eyes brightened as she sharply turned her head to look at Primus. The life missing reappearing, revealing her eyes to be a pale gray infected by the blue of the energon. That…that was it? That was the only reason? He came all this way…for her? He came all this way…for a pathetic and worthless girl. Tears poured from her eyes once again as her lips trembled. He didn’t even know her, but…he came all this way. Someone had listened to her cry, her desperate plea for help, and it was him.

Primus gave her a warm smile, happy to see the life come back into her eyes. “Do you wish to come with me?”

Ymir gripped his hands deathly tight. She was still trying to comprehend those words, but she didn’t want to let go. This warmth, this kindness, this comfort, this boundless freedom: she had never felt it before. It was so different from what she had before. She…wanted to go with him. She wanted to go. She wanted the love and freedom he offered her. Ymir, despite her own fear, nodded her head, answering his question.

 “Then come with me, Little One,” Primus offered, “Let us go home, together.”

Ymir began shaking, shocked by the god’s words and offer, the tears pouring down her cheeks. Primus lifted his hands to touch her cheeks and wipe the tears that were falling. She slowly lifted her hands to touch the ones there, actually registering the physical contact, surprised by the soft touch and warmth he continued to give. She let out a cry of sorrow and relief, the first real and raw emotion she let out in years. She cried and cried and cried. She tightened her grip, not wanting this being to let go of her. Primus wrapped his arms around her and Ymir hugged him tightly. He rubbed her back as she cried in his chest.

“Little One, I promise you,” he began as he looked down at her and wiped her tears, “As long as I still function, no one will ever hurt you again. I promise.”

Primus saw the smallest ghost of a smile on her lips before nodding his head in reassurance. Primus smiled brightly towards her, tears coming down his face. He quietly laughed and hugged her close once more. Ymir continued crying into his chest, feeling all of her tension and stress leave her body in an instant. Her grief and sorrow were mute. All she felt was the warm and kindness this gentle being was willing to give to her. This…this is what love was. It had to be.

Primus raised his head and spoke ancient words. Both titan shifters watched the blue stream of energy surround Primus as he spoke this unfamiliar language. They grew fearful when they saw that his eyes were beginning to glow once more and his tears began to fade. When he finished speaking, the tree began to fall apart. It crumbled and turned to dust, and the dust flew up towards the stars. Eren then noticed a flower sprouting and blooming at Ymir’s feet. It looked other worldly, glowing a bright blue in a rather desolate place. Then, three more flowers bloomed next to the first one, and then nine formed. Before Eren realized it, multiple flowers began to spring up and bloom. This garden continued to expand for miles; the flowers blooming under Eren and Zeke. Eren watched as it went on for miles, a never ending field of flowers. He turned his head upward, and saw the starry night change into a mix of day and night. A sun began to shine while the stars glistened in the sky. Eren gasped when he saw the shining mountain lights that Armin had once told him about when they were kids, while three moons appeared in his line of sight. It was…it was indescribable.

[crescencestudio]

can i give u all an unsolicited recommendation

if u struggle w insomnia or falling asleep for ANY reason. i can not. recommend. the “sleep with me�� podcast on spotify enough.

this is what you’re going to do ok.

search “sleep with me” on spotify and there should be a podcast by Dearest Scooter. it’s like 1000+ episodes and they’re each at least an hour long

u will play it on your phone while you’re in bed. set the sleep timer on your spotify to whatever time you want (i do 45 mins, 1 hr, or the full podcast depending on how i’m feeling). and then just play it.

this person is the perfect blend of boring and interesting. like he’s not so boring it’s distracting but he’s not so interesting he keeps you up listening (he does this on purpose!!!). IT HAS WORKED FOR ME EVERY TIME IVE EVER STRUGGLED W FALLING ASLEEP AND I HAVE HAD CHRONIC INSOMNIA FOREVER!!!!

can’t sleep bc of trauma, grief, anxiety, insomnia, U NAME IT!!! IVE ALWAYS FALLEN ASLEEP LISTENING TO AN EPISODE

if i have to die on a hill defending a niche recommendation it would be this. i hope it helps one of u.

[not-goldy]

They think so because of his choices in chapter 2. I remember them being so defensive when anons asked them about why JK had songs with female protagonist and mocked antis for thinking that he's het, said female subject is for the technicality. But the same person is saying his chapter 2 decisions looks like he's preparing Fandom for a dating reveal with a woman just so he can show a partner of opposite gender to the society, for convenience. They said he will never ever reveal a male partner, understandable. We all know both of them are not gonna explicitly come out but they can always keep quiet and decide not to have any public relationship... there are many korean actors who are 40+ but have no public gf or relationship till now. They say Jikook may remain as Tony and Jaeduck ? Idk.. that couple but also says he will leave Jimin for a better future.. because that's what his social status in korea is.

Previously they said even his antis in kside don't believe that leaked video as it was blurry and even if it's real it doesn't mean they are dating. Now she's saying his video with that woman didn't made any noise in kside because they are already prepared for a dating news and kinda know about it.. just like taennie. They have a side blog where they stan other kpop groups and ship some of duos, there they said none of kpop ships comes close to what Jikook has. Recently they said no one in their right mind in Kside even cares about Jimin Daeun rumor as it's BS... but I bet in next week they are gonna say Jimin is also preparing Fandom for a dating reveal with her 🤡🤡🤡🤡 coz that opposite r their answers from one to another ask lol.

This is the same person who thinks JK didn't had any extra push from company, it's all his power and he deserves a grammy for seven when we all know how much scooter pushed seven to be top. This is the same person who thinks Jimin wasn't even sabogated or how everyone is living in lalaland at hybe.

This is not making followers insecure but straight up maniacs. Every Jikooker in right mind will always keep it in mind that maybe we could be wrong about them. But straight up mocking them saying Jikook are in love but also JK is getting ready for a dating reveal with a girl is so ???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Oooooohhh I see. Thanks for the explanation.

I see what they are saying here and in part I understand what they mean or where they are coming from.

It's not so crazy a theory to be honest. It's nothing that hasn't happened before. People fake date, spread relationship rumors or even marry to cover up their gayness. And if you are dating a closeted person who tend to develop that insecurity cos there's always that possibility they will burrow further into the closet than stand in their truth and claim you choose you or fight for you and with you.

I think Lil Nas X has a video that explores this much prevalent and painful queer experience you can check it. It's I want. Troye Sivan too. Blue Neighborhood watch/listen to the entire song series. Particularly Talk me down. Those are just my favorite queer artists but there's more who touch on this aspect of queer experience.

Partner abandonment is a huge challenge that faces the community especially as not everyone has the strength or luxury to stand and live their truth.

Hearing you say these things about Jikool actually makes me sad 😔

I don't want yet another "friend" to abandon Jimin😔

He already complained of friends betraying him and all and how he does so much for their love and I think he deserves love he deserves happiness he deserves someone who's interactions with him will heal him and nourish him and I think Jungkook- whatever you think their relationship status is- does that for him😔

People are so cruel when they say I wish Jikook break up, or that Vmin is crap and Jimin needs to cut Tae loose, like yall are wishing for Jimin to be abandoned 😔

You are wishing for him to experience the pain and trauma of partner separation or disconnecting from his primary sources of connection be it friendship or romance. All because you hate Tae and JK. They wish Tae Kook with develop a connection and "free" Jimin. And these are his fans yall. His own "fans."

For Jikook this is not something new to them either, all these "tattoo girl scandal" and Paris club scandal and rumor has it they have a gf and thus and that- they are all just ploys to cleanse their queer image by fans and to some extent the company who plays complacent in these situations neither refuting those rumors or refuting them too late whether advertently or inadvertently.

There's a queer idol who said his management would deliberately leak rumors about him dating girls or would ask him to build his body and become hyper masculine just so he appears "straight" to the public.

So perhaps you an disagree with her takes on these. I certainly do- unless Jungkook has done something really controversially gay I don't see why they would want to stage a queer cleanse for him this time around.

I mean he even said he wasn't dating no girl. If he wanted to queer cleanse he would have kept absolutely quite about it- at least for a while just as Hybe asked the tattoo girl to keep quiet about those rumors. Later she had to come out and throw hybe under the bus because the rumors were harming her- until she of course switched up and played it up.

It's messy. Kpop is messy.

Everyone is entitled to their views. Time will tell which views are more accurate than not is what I always say.

[blackbutlerfandomnerddomain]

Sooooooooooooooo~

I made a random AU-

Ran Mao doesn't have wings please ignore I messed up-

I've been watching W.I.T.C.H. out of much needed comfort and upon working on my recent Black Butler fanfic WIP (which is coming soon, I promise, I have an Invader Zim fanfic coming up the same time and been recovering from a bad cough) and thought if the girls were casted who would be who and it began in this lil AU idea!

Info:

In the magical world there were two kingdoms that ruled together in harmony

One day one king and queen of one side had two princes and disappeared instantly after, around this time the other queen disappeared alongside her child as well, breaking the world into chaos of finding out where their rulers went.

Around this brief moment of panic, someone tries to kidnap the princes and take them to Earth, but it was a fail and ended with the kidnapper to abandoned one of them in the escape as he was getting terribly injured

Fast-forward 13 years, that prince is now Prince Sirius, he is very powerful and wicked but also terribly sick due to the failed attempted kidnapping in his infancy. He would rule under the watchful eye of his father's adviser "Undertaker" who, under Sirius' orders, is searching for his brother and the other prince to have more power

In the city known as Torssun (FantasyNameGenerator helped with this name) there's five girls who live their lives as normal as can be

Ran-Mao lives in a apartment with her older brother and only known living family member Lau and they both run a restaurant downstairs called The Dragon's Den After a bad incident when she was little girl, Ran-Mao suffers with anxiety and can go mute at random times. Lau has taught her self defense to try and help her with her trauma.

Mey-Rin is a girl who moved to Torssun about a year ago due to her adopted father's, Baldroy's, work as a security personal for some rich kid named Ciel, and she lives with him and her younger brother Finny in a apartment in the city. Mey-Rin was saved and taken in by Baldroy after she was in a bad foster house after her parents died upon arriving to London after immigrating from China and it took her some years to fully trust Baldroy

Doll moved to Torssun around the same time Mey-Rin has and lives in the same apartment building just on the ground floor where barely anyone lives. She was left behind by her mother in a orphanage's steps when she was a little 4 year old and was taken in by some orphans who took her under their wings. They were fostered by this guy who later gets arrested due to some shady stuff after years of abuse on Doll and the others, by that point Joker, Beast, Jumbo, Peter, and Wendy were deemed old enough to live on their own but they took Doll, Dagger, and Snake in as they didn't want them to return to the orphanage. Doll helps out whenever she can and works hard

Elizabeth is one of the richest girls in school, her family owns a company, she lives in a villa in the heart of the city's beach area with her mother, father, and older brother Edward who's the school's top athletic champion. Elizabeth, also goes by Lizzie, is the embodiment of a "perfect girl", pretty, smart, graceful, athletic, gets along with everyone, loves her family, popular, etc. and has been best friends with a boy named Ciel since literal diapers.

Now Sieglinde is much later in the story, a whole year even, and recently moves to Torssun from a place called Wolfsstadt (literally "wolf town" in German") with her father Wolfram who is a ex solider who got injured on the line of duty and is now working as a normal salary man trying to have an honest and normal life with his daughter. After a accident when she was 8, Sieglinde suffers from mild-Paraplegia where she still suffers with issues walking on her own for a long period of time without her crutches or walker, mostly using a chair or scooter to help her move around if someone isn't. This leave her feeling smothered by Wolfram who blames himself for the accident and can be hot headed on decisions to try and seem "normal" to other.

Lizzy became friends with Ran-Mao instantly due to both taking martial art classes after school one summer, met Mey-Rin through her, and met Doll early in the new school semester. When Sieglinde came in they all welcomed her with open arms

Other casts:

Lau is 28 and was the one who gave Sieglinde The Heart since he was part of the last Guardians who helped the world in the past but left after a traumatic incident where he nearly lost his eye sight. He suffers with migraine, especially when a evil aura is near.

Baldroy, or Baldo, is 31 and was once married before to one of the old Guardians who tragically died five years before he took in Mey-Rin. He was in the military during that time and after but left after he took in Finny when he was 3. Baldroy is very hard working and loyal, finds Lau weird but still hangs out with him as Ran-Mao and Mey-Rin are fast friends.

Hannah is a floras shop owner who lives in a cute condo of the basement of her shop with her sons Luka(8) and Alois(14). She, however, isn't all she seems...

Alois Annefellows is a teen boy in the same school as the girls, he's a pretty popular kid with some bad records though. He often gets into trouble of some kind but doesn't tolerate bullying. Some even call him a Robin Hood type guy since he gives justice for those who can't stand up for themselves

Claude Faustus is a teacher at the school and is kind of strange fellow. . .

Ciel Michaelis is a boy, Lizzy's childhood best friend, and is pretty sickly since birth. Suffers from a bad eye on his left and asthma but nothing his meds can't fix. He's smart and serious and often talks about plans to own his own company. He's close friends with Alois even though they have a mild-rivals and enemies duo thing going on

Sebastian Michaelis, Ciel's father, a handsome mysterious man who owns a well know toy and candy company. Not only is he handsome, caring, and smart, he's also very well in combat. But that doesn't mean he'll always protect Ciel if he's not around, so he hires a well known ex-solider as security for his son to protect him when he has important meetings or trips

Maurice Cole, influencer, bully, really cute guy in school, second richest family along side Lizzy's and Ciel's.

Joker, Doll's primary guardian, owns a snack shop in town called "Circus Tent" where Doll works part-time

Charles Grey and Charles Phipps are two of Ciel's main body guards, weird fellows with a mysterious past, and are extra funny when it comes to the girls.

There's a group in the magical world just called "The Reapers" who help serve Prince Sirius on control.

Joanne Harcourt, a shy art club guy who often talks about fantasy worlds and magic. He's secretly part of a rebellion in the world Prince Sirius is currently ruling who came to Earth to protect the other princes if he can figure out who they are

Cheslock, a bard who's secretly aiding the rebellion to overthrow Sirius.

Angelina and Ash, two of Sirius most ruthless and powerful knights. Able to cute down any foe in quick movements.

Soma, a sweet boy who attends to the same school as the girls who lives with his guardian Agni

Romances:

Mey Ron (Mey-Rin x Ronald, I blame @blondeaxolotl and @jaidenk-nox for this, now I have two AUs in which Mey Ron is a thing) They start as enemies by odds with Ronald being more flirty/kind of like Kish from Tokyo Mew Mew/Mew Mew Power minus kissing without permission bit. They would slowly work together to overthrow Sirius which would result in Ronald getting injured and stuck on Earth for a brief mo. where Mey-Rin nurses him back to health

Cheslock and Edward (Chesward???) During one incident Cheslock is on Earth and runs into Edward and well sparks flew. Cheslock: Little Air Guardian, who is this golden knight? Lizzy: He's my brother Edward Cheslock: Edward~ Lizzy: Stop it-

Maureckles/Dollrice (Maurice x Doll, again, blame @blondeaxolotl!) Both didn't get along for obvious reasons but Maurice would developed a crush on Doll who was oblivious of until later on.

Elizanne (Elizabeth x Joanne... Okay I can't even blame Mono for this anymore it's mostly @imviotrash) Joanne's first love. Like he legit feels terrible lying to Lizzy about who is is at first.

Ranaggers (Ran-Mao and Dagger. A VERY random crack ship I came up with early this year. Just pure bad-ass wife and goofy lil husband LOL) Dagger liked her from first sight. Ran-Mao is pretty cat like with him, in which I mean she leaves him things and stares at him a lot. When she does talk, it's very serious with them talking about their family worries and pasts

Cielois (Ciel and Alois) Very much a slow burn. Alois: I don't think I can picture a life if I never knew you... Ciel: ...I don't think I can live if I never met you... Lizzy is the biggest supporter of this ship lol

JokerGray (Charles Gray and Joker, kind of blame Mono for this after a little chat where I mentioned they accidentally caused me to ship them so hard) CG comes to Circus Tent once and a while to mostly check on Doll but also to flirt with the cute ginger on duty. Joker flirts back. Doll wants a barf bag.

SebaAgni (Sebastian and Agni) Have a secret romance going on in which no one knows due to unknown reasons but mostly cause they don't want their kids to worry. Hurt-Comfort lets fucking GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-! Just two single fathers trying to live in the big city and be normal.

BardLau (Lau and Baldroy, I don't know if they have a legit ship name) Mostly began with Lau flirting with Baldroy and Baldroy not picking up the hints or at least acting on it. Starts lowkey kind of secret mostly cause Lau was scared how Ran-Mao would react if he dated, thinking she would feel abandoned, but they soon come out about it. Both talk and heal each other about their traumas.

So yeah, this wasn't really a big AU plan but a AU I came up with nonetheless

[aikoiya]

I just saw a reblog game that was like "give a _ a treat," with various sexualities/genders of the LGBTQ community.

And, I'll be honest... I was very tempted to reblog the post with "heterosexual," but I felt like that wouldn't have been taken kindly.

Like, I've been seeing some pretty suspect perspectives on straight people lately. One of which suggesting that it's a trauma response & another where someone asked a question of those in the LGBTQ community: "If they'd be okay with being straight." (Obviously, it's not that simple, but still.)

And, it wasn't asked in a weird or bigoted way, so much as curiously, ya know? But the response was this odd sort of, "ew" reaction.

Which is... well, it's just a really weird & kinda hypocritical take, isn't it? Like, if the roles & question were reversed, that reaction would've caused a dang riot!

Like, did ya'll hear about the boys who got arrested for scuffing a Pride flag... one that had been drawn on the sidewalk & the scuff marks were from the kids' scooters...

And, did you hear about the lady who told a straight person that they weren't welcome in a neighborhood due to it being a gay neighborhood? (Now, this was something I saw a while ago, so some of the details might be off, but the general idea is the same.)

Then, just recently, I saw a comment on how heterosexual relationships are inherently misogynistic in nature.

And once or twice, I've seen things like, "It's okay to be straight," be villainized as "hate speech" & "harmful."

[hebuiltfive]

What Should Have Stayed Buried: WIP Snippet

Who wants a snippet from something I'm currently working on but that isn't being posted for a while yet? If you said no, I'm sorry because I'm posting it anyway. I've only just finished the first two chapters of this (this snippet is the opening of chapter three, so long as it all goes to plan), but I'm really excited about it so I'm testing the waters. So, remember when I posted about Scott and Jane Carter, and talking about it being a perfect meet cute? Well... I evolved the initial idea of writing a one-shot about that into something that isn't so much 'meet cute' and more 'let's give Scooter angst', because that's way more fun, right? It's now a multi-chapter story that isn't entirely romance based (because I suck at that) and that features an OC too, so if that isn't your cup of tea, sorry. This snippet picks up right in the aftermath of a very hair raising mission. If there are any typos, I offer sincere apologies.

She shouldn’t have been here.

The single thought kept racing through Scott’s mind as he took in the situation before him, of the person who sat before him, the person he’d thought he would never have to face again, and of the reminder of a much darker, grimmer past that Scott had thought he’d successfully buried years ago because ouch, memories could hurt.

“Evelyn?”  

The name felt foreign on his tongue but familiar enough to bring back an influx of emotions. He hadn’t uttered her name in years, had refused any memory that had tried to surface because it was all too much. Even now, half a decade later, the pain felt as raw as it had done on that final day. An old wound on his side, now nothing but a scar, sent a dull ache through his system as though it was telling him that it too remembered that month of anguish, of torture. Her presence alone had managed to bring it all back which was unfortunate because Scott had been doing so well at the forgetting. It all seemed pointless now. Pointless because he finally realised that he had never actually buried those memories succesfully, that he had never severed ties with those awful feelings, and that trauma, unfortunately for him, just didn’t work like that. Forgetting wasn’t a cure-all. It was never going to be solved as simply as that. Scott found himself grateful for Brains’s ingenious boots once again. Without them keeping him plastered to the flooring of his ship, he was sure he would have fallen to his feet because what the fuck? Surely the universe didn’t hate him this much? Surely his luck wasn’t this bad? Out of the billions of people on the planet who needed saving, he had to be the one who saved her? Hell, he had two other brothers who were on the mission with him, and still he had ended up pulling the short straw. Perhaps this was karma.

“Tracy.” 

His surname was spat so impersonally, so venomously that he was sure she’d liken it to a soured poison on her lips, a poison she needed to be rid of. If he was being honest with himself, which Scott rarely was when it involved his emotions on the field, he couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. Not one bit. What had happened all those years ago was messy and brutal. The following years had him wishing he’d done it all a different way, but no matter how smart Brains was, he hadn’t yet invented a time machine. The past was the past, and it was clear that Evelyn still despised him for it.

[watchtheblog]

as always, hello to my 9 true real life friends, the 22 of you in close friends, my 40 internet besties, the handful of you i was able to lure over here with a LiNk iN BiO, at least one of the girls who copy and pasted my internet persona for her 200 followers, some other weirdos, biters, and haters (and their partners), my therapist if i ask her to read this to understand me better, and anyone else who is here and can read this!! 

as a preface to a list of extravagant gifts i wish to receive for my birthday (tuesday, 26 september), i am going to tell you a little story. if you don’t care and just want to buy me a gift or just want to use this to curate yours, scroll to the bottom. (if you need inspiration from years past, i’ve been making this list for 10 years.)

without further silliness: it’s been a few years since i’ve expressed my disdain for traditional “fun” but what better time than on the eve of the eve of my birthday to dive back into it.

i define traditional fun as anything social, anything that involves hanging out with multiple friends, or any activity that takes place at a “venue” or anywhere there are dozens to hundreds or more people present doing what one would describe as “having a good time”.

if it’s a: gathering, get together, party, or event, it’s a: no.

i’d rather be run over by a lime scooter than sit at a dinner with more than 3 people i know, and if a new person is involved, “meeting me” better be on their bucket list because the *stranger to acquaintance* pipeline crashed in 2018 when a woman propositioned me in whole foods for a raya “friend pass” (again: she was a stranger), conned me out of my phone number, and then proceeded to send me her uber referral link 15 times until i blocked her.

*i should clarify before i go further that i’m not a hater. i’m so happy that people are enjoying themselves. i think everyone deserves to be happy and to smile and laugh and have such a little blast wherever and whenever they want!!! i just do not want to be near anyone who is doing that. ◡̈ *

PDF (public displays of fun) is anathema to me, and for this reason i don’t like to leave my house on the weekends because that’s when most people are convening, rendezvous-ing, coming together in droves to enjoy themselves in shared public space.

a notable exception to this rule is a restaurant or bar, because there will always be some miserable couple having the worst night of their lives or someone in a corner arguing with someone who is gaslighting them at 2:45am.

like me one time, in my “having no respect for myself” era, when an ex boyfriend swallowed a black label burger and then convinced me *i* was being weird for feeling hurt that he was going to take me home and then go see a midnight movie with his friends… on christmas eve.

v funny behavior.

(it was actually v fine because - surprise surprise - i hate movies, and movie theaters… and in all honesty i hated his ass, too.)

anyway! that’s the kind of stuff i love to see going on in public: messy nonsense, the seeds of trauma sprouting, not unflappable joy!!!!!

when i lived in new york during this time of no self-respect, i often found myself doing things i didn’t want to do. like, going to the club.

THE CLUB is a unique coming together of an inexhaustible list of things i do not like: first and foremost: DJs. secondarily: people i don’t know, big groups of people, being in a confined space, men with weird attitudes, herve leger, anyone wearing a “fashion hat”, music, other miscellaneous loud noises, social nepotism, people being coy about doing cocaine, cocaine, moving my body to a beat, being illuminated by phone light, stickiness, dirty bathrooms, unidentified wetness, and i could go on!!

the only thing i like about the club is screaming in close proximity to someone’s ear (although the fact that it’s done out of necessity takes some joy out of it) and one other thing:

that every single time i ever went to the club, without fail, a man would sidle up to my girlfriend after unsuccessfully trying to hit on me and utter some version of “what is wrong with your friend?” to her.

for my birthday, i’d love to attend an event filled entirely with those men.

it’s tuesday, so if you can’t manage to do that, here are the treasures i’d like:

(disclaimer: all i want for my birthday is for me and everyone i love and support and everyone who loves and supports me to be healthy and happy and rich, and for all of their dreams to come true (and for everyone i don’t like to accidentally commit a misdemeanor that hurts no one but is punishable by jail so they can have some time to think and find God), and for you to donate to the boys and girls club if you have the means. but here are some things i think would be funny or nice or stupid to receive:)

the intangible: to mysteriously but unsuspiciously come into 100 million dollars, that i am always perceived as a genius in the daytime, a beauty at night, and a bop on instagram, that when i get married no more than ten people RSVP, that everyone knows i’m joking about starting a cult but that when i start my cult you will all join, that no one i know ever prepares a picnic for me as a gesture of kindness or romance, that people stop misusing the word gaslighting as it takes away from those of us who are working on perfecting the art, to one day start a tequila company and for that to not be corny, for all my bot followers to gain sentience and break free from their bot farm confines to engage with me, that my mouth never writes a check my ass can’t check, to - at whatever cost - gain possession of the remaining episodes of a&e’s deeply perverse and immediately cancelled “adults adopting adults” and put every person on that show in a subterranean jail for life, to be wealthy enough to donate anonymously, for someone to get real about cancelling daylight savings time, that i remain beloved, hilarious, brilliant, and humble, that i am my best friends’ best friend, and that anyone who dislikes me never finds peace (so far so good!).

the ones you can buy:

i hate to say this but if someone doesn’t come up with $4000 and buy me this max mara coat (xs) i am going to have an asthma attack.

a speaker for my house so i can listen to my cult (meditation) a more reasonable version (black)

also to listen to cult (black) - you can engrave these, what a treat

these sheets (white/white; king)

i know this maybe for a man but this maybe also for a man??? (idk?! do men have money?!?!) this in black ok this is exhausting, i’d like a little card holder for my credit cards and it should cost one million dollars if possible thank you for understanding the parameters!!

a trip here, or here but i don’t travel with people so just for one please!! (i’m retired so i can go anytime!!)

a gift card to my dermatologist even though i don’t think you can buy a gift card from him but feel free to take a look at the services (i do hydrafacials, lasers, peels) and mail me some US currency! or be proactive and try to figure it out!!

this sweatshirt

this lighter i like

this necklace

this rattan tray gallivanting as “calfskin”????? lol this is better :) i do not understand what is going on!!!

i just restocked but i will accept you buying this for yourself as a treat a gift to me bc i love it

i’d like to speak to the medium who has a show on bravo, please. this is him. i do not want to be “read” on the tv show. i do not want tickets to see his live show. i want to speak to a dead person through this man. one on one. (you can come if you organize it.)

a baby phat tracksuit - no link bc they’re relaunching (on my birthday…),  but hopefully there’s a tracksuit on there.

here are some watches i’d like: one another one another one an insane one

a flight on emirates first class literally going anywhere!

this gorgeous vase or this one or this one; also this vase

or this one

this room spray (or it’s candle)

this art or this art or this art (i’m only half kidding)

this art or this art or this art

the cade candle from le labo (it’s not sold online i don’t think bc it’s special, like me!)

some gorgeous cartier stationery (i thought they made stationery… and i’m pretty sure they do but it seems they don’t… lol) this is an alt and so is this and these are cute (so i can write thank you cards for everyone who gets me a gift!!!)

ok thank you!!

[illgetthe]

Maxwell Elizabeth Puckett & Issac "no middle name" O'Connor

Oh and Zoey Grace Puckett as well :3

ok starting with max HHGG RAAH

GAAAAYAAAAA

AAAAAiTSSSS AAA

SUCH A GOOD NAMEE AAAGGHGHFH

The still vaguely pretentious name bit is still there however in a way all middle names are. Elizabeth unlike lawrence is a name you give with love. (Lawrence you love as a person. Elizabeth is a fancy loving word.) You send a lawrence to the circus to show off how good he is at calligraphy you pass down to an Elizabeth your family trauma WHICH speaking of you know that white werewolf who was garcias mentor Shrike? (Which by the way read that in the recap before chapter 8 which somehow I completely missed and never read hello?) Looks like an Elizabeth/Lizzie to me. I know it's not relevant but if shrike and ms puckett were ever besties before the disaster that's where the name came from. to me. ANYWAYS ignoring that: elizabeth gives max that vague feminine/ enby /something that the little twerp has somewhere inside. You could call this name across the house if my boy didn't do the dishes when he was supposed to. Haha funny ENOUGH HAAHA the stupid baby names websites whisper their secrets in my ears and one secret is Elizabeth means God's promise/God is my oath. Haha haha this broken god catboy would be doomed from the start! Hahaahahaahaha!!!! Eh hem cough the problem with ranking here is the still remaining consideration towards lawrence, which as of now is my only max middle name to compare to. While lawrence takes the power already stored within the name Maxwell Puckett, and increases it tenfold, Elizabeth gives it a new flavour, a new twist (color: green)- to me it's a weighty name , something kind and sad at once. And also unfortunately very british. Is something like that too much for blue cap, scooter boy max? Would he be looked at my his goofy parents and be bestowed this name? To decide whether I'd rank this a 9 or a 10 i needed to stop and consider what middle names are to, at the very least, myself. Very simply, very factually: a name not usually associated with someone until you know them better! Very often taken from a relative your moma' or dada' or what'ever'a liked! MAXWELL and PUCKETT is the sandwhich bread, lettuce, cheese, but Elizabeth is the hidden pickle. You see the Max at first sight, the metal scooter boy, the random middle schooler. You learn of, unfold, later feel the Elizabeth. Therefore, perchance, I do'eth claim: 10/10 elizabeth is a name for someone with mommy issues.

Going to reblog and adress grace + isaac ?¿¡error•`¡ o'connor

[dean23456]

Top 10 characters (in my opinion)

Honorable mentions: Dynamoe/Moe, Quinn, Allan, Chuck, Taylor, Koilee

I don't have much to say for like 7 of them other than that they're nice, and for top 3 that they're really cool, so I added a bit of headcannon stuff in the mix.

Lets go from bottom to top.

Skip: he's pretty cool in my opinion. A lot of my family members are in construction or something and yeah. His pet rat is cool. I dont have much to say for him, he's nice.

Ninjoy: her actual name being a part of it is nice. I find her cool and yeah don't have much to say. She's cool, however I do think that she and Dynamoe take too much of the spotlight (Dynamoe especially, plus other characters) which makes other characters not being noticed a lot or not getting a lot of content being made for them, kinda sucks for people who like more obscure characters or ones that deserve more attention.

Alberto: I just kinda like him a lot. He's one of the first characters I liked a lot and the first male character I liked.

Yuko: when I first saw her, I really loved her. She reminds me of some characters from other media I like. Her being Prudence's mom was something I didn't expect at all.

James: at first I didn't care for him but after a while he's really grown on me. In my headcannon, he does have trauma, but it doesn't affect him at all, as he kinda doesn't remember that much and isn't as big as an impact or had any other bad experience and is normal, which is basically the opposite with Mary, which I'll get to. Also what's the thing that makes him so mischaracterized so much? I kinda don't know.

Willow: she's really nice and i like her design. In my headcannon I thought of her as not being really social and some other things that I might explain, then with the help of James she can express herself more, which makes their friendship stronger.

Scooter: one of the first characters I really loved when I first saw her. I don't have a lot to say.

Penny: the first character I loved. Her design might be simple compared to others but that doesn't make her bad at all. She's the food loving girl who is in every game that is one of the most popular, would be my favorite if it weren't for these 2 existing.

Mary: OK, so Mary is probably the character I probably give the most deep headcannons for. If she never had experienced those times, she would just be like James. She has conflicting thoughts on if she does want to know the mystery behind her biological parents, is it better to find out, or is it not? She and James most likely would be total wrecks, but could've they changed? We will most likely never know. But what if I threw another thing at her? High school was one of her worst experiences, she was constantly made fun of (mostly for her weight) and gotten beaten up, however it got better in the end, as they got expelled and someone mysterious protected her. In the end, she tries to cover it, but at any really bad moment, might break. So, she masks it up by being the nice and sweet person who's silly and goofy one. Now that I think of it she's kinda like Kel from Omori. Anyways that's just the most basic explanation on her headcannon backstory.

Oh yeah she's cool asf and paints stuff, plays the bagpipes, has 2 pugs and is kinda scared of sailing. Despite all that she isn't my favorite.

Sue: this is my favorite character, I just really like her, now for some headcannon stuff. I don't have as much backstory for her, other than that somewhere between leaving school and getting her job, she got a glow up or something and was always had anger issues, that's all for backstory I have right now, but I have other things. Despite her mean side, many people only focus on that and not the true side, someone who actually cares if you're nice. There's also the questioning her sexuality thing (spoilers ig, but she's a lesbian so thats solved) and some other struggles I don't know about yet. But yeah she's awsome 11/10

I like the headcannon stuff for Mary and Sue that I might give them to ocs if I make more in the future.

[ilikepjo24]

Hello and welcome to part 3 of proving that Azula is the inspiration of Taylor Swift's career.

On today's episode, we start with "Renegade" on the album How Long Do You Think It's Going To Last by Big Red Machine:

This song cannot be found in any of Taylor's albums, since she's only a featured artists, but she sings the majority of the song by herself (including the part I have screenshoted) and has cowritter credits, along with Aaron Dessner, who is the producer of multiple of Taylor's songs and co-founder of Big Red Machine. Due to a lack of a spot in any of the studio albums, this song is considered a Taylor Swift single.

In this song, Taylor tells Azula to get her shit together and hurry up and get done with the redemption arc business. Taylor is equally exhausted by Azula antis as much as any fan, and just wants for Azula to be redeemed so that the antis can stfu (I can 100% relate).

Next song of the day is ME! from the album Lover:

This is a very fun sing with a very sad message. In this song Taylor recognizes that she might be difficult to date. All the trauma she carries from previous emotionally abusive relationships and the lack of privacy due to the huge fan basecan be quite troublesome. Taylor attempts to hide the insecurity this causes behind a happy beat.

This song is a great example of why Taylor is actually Azula through the multiverse. As we all know, Azula is also a very insecure person. She tried to hide it, and she succeeds for the most part but sometimes her mask slips. But when the mask doesn't slip, she successfully hides all those insecurities behind the glory of being a prodigy, talented, rich, royalty, well-known/respected and overall special, which is exactly what Taylor attempts to do that here.

And finally, our third song for today is "Karma" from Midnights:

Basic swifties believe that this song is about Scooter Braun, who stole Taylor's masters, and made his label (crown) by capitalizing of her art (pennies) but now he's getting fucked over (karma) cause three of his major artists left his label and he's loosing money like that 📉📉📉📉

But I'm exceptional (delulu) so I know that it is Azula's view of Zuko getting advantage of her and the help she gave him, by bringing him back to the Fire Nation ("my pennies made your crown") only to betray her by leaving ("trick me once, trick me twice") and the return to steal her throne ("king of thieves"). On the bright side, karma is catching up to him, because there's a bunch of rebel groups opposing him in the comics.

[sorrowschengmei]

i think Xue Yang speaks volumes to people who have been brutalised during childhood. making a parallel with Kylo, my other kin.

Kylo had a tough childhood but his trauma was mostly emotional. absent parents, creepy ass mentor figure, being too skilled near his peers and then being isolated, high family pressure etc

that is in itself a huge af source of trauma!! i'm not comparing which trauma is the worse. i'm comparing sources. Xue Yang well, we know he suffered a brutal mutilation motivated by his social class. this is what we KNOW. everyone sees how he acts, kinda puts 1+1 together and conclude the finger was just ONE of his physical [or even sexual] traumas. this is a person who met the power of humankind's fists before meeting the power of its words.

so with Kylo we get a character that represses his emotions [fails ofc], has a lot of pent-up anger that explodes from time to time, avoids people, spirals, self blames. for him, feeling what he feels is wrong. he feels he's damaged beyond repair. his emotions were denied.

with Xue Yang we get a character that lives in a constant adrenaline high, looking for potentially physically [and sexually] dangerous situations to put himself in, that is always ready to be attacked. he was taught existing as a working class person is wrong. he feels the world is damaged beyond repair. his physical existence was denied.

he can't even form the thought in his head that his feelings are wrong or right. for him, just one thing matters and it's THEY are dying, not HIM. if they're dead and he's alive, everything is fine. if they're alive and he died, well, it's not like he can care anymore.

and we need to watch this character since the first time he's introduced just disregard his own physicality, his own humanity in all the ways he can. to flirt with people that want to kill him, to literally say word by word he doesn't fear death, only boredom, to constantly repeat in a mocking [but we know that is true to him] tone that he's a delinquent, a low level cultivator etc.

Kylo copes by trying to hide his trauma. Xue Yang copes by rubbing his trauma on everyone's faces. it's the 'withdraw socially x overshare' thing. the 'i dont want to die, i want the pain to end' x 'yippity yuppity i want to commit scooter ankle'.

and you see, for people who have been brutalised in childhood everything Xue Yang does is PAINFULLY real. you see the funny queer looking unhinged yasss, i see someone so ready to die he doesn't care what's going to happen to him anymore. he'll never commit suicide, bc for this to happen you need to think and reach the conclusion 'i want to end my life'. but his body is so hurt in such a core level that it ceased to fight for self preservation. he will think consciously that he doesn't want to die, but the memories stored in his body are so painful he unconsciously tries to find ways to put an end to the suffering.

and we need to watch this very young man who's clearly DESPERATE for help destroying his fucking life, not even realising what he's doing. i think this is what hurts the most. Kylo is VERY aware of all his bad ideas, and it pains him. Xue Yang is stuck in a trauma thinking pattern so intense that he can't even realise what he's doing is going to be his death.

he can't see a world that isn't this dog eat dog, one finger for a finger, kill them before they kill you mess. his suffering is completely despairing bc he has NO IDEA of what's going on, it just HURTS and he just SCREAMS and gets TRIGGERED and reacts in absolutely primal ways. Kylo knows what he needs to do to end his pain, but he doesn't have the strength to do it. Xue Yang has absolutely NO idea of why it hurts so much, he feels like a newborn who's hungry for the first time: everything is SCARY and OVERWHELMING and CONFUSING.

and what happens then? we need to watch everyone accuse him of murder. to see only the murder. Xue Yang = murder, for 99% of the cast. kill Xue Yang, avenge the murders. simple like that. take the pouch away from him, disable his arm, stab him, he falls down, bleeds to death. end of the trouble. when he's been crying for HELP since the very beginning of the arc, even before the flashbacks.

we need to watch the world, one more time, deny Xue Yang his phisical existence, and see nothing else but a 'delinquent', 'disgusting', 'low level cultivator'. 

hell, i think this is what hurts the most. we can just watch. watch ourselves, the brutalised in childhood, cry for help and be seen as nothing more than a threat. to watch our own hypervigilant with trust issues asses ruining every relationship we have, bc the only thing the world taught us was to kill or to be killed. they could've given Xue Yang a second chance. they find him very vulnerable, exposing himself, LITERALLY WITH ALL LETTERS ASKING FOR HELP.

he spent EIGHT YEARS there, resentful. everything was in his past by then- Yao, the night hunts, Nie Mingjue. it was just him, his heartbreak, Yi Town and the pouch.

its like that meme... 'everyone asks WHERE is Xue Yang, nobody asks HOW is Xue Yang' and then they kill him. leave him unburied. the enemy is defeated! clap, clap, clap. moving on. the heroes are busy. they need to commit more justified murders, unlike Xue Yang's unjustified murders aight.

tlrdr