“he loves you, but he would never say that to your face.”
“-but he would never admit that.”
“-but he would never tell you.”
???
Are you sure? I am an avid tumblr stalker, and I’ve read so many things on silly little hat man in my time. I’ve seen things that tore my heart to pieces, that patched it up, that made me want to rip my guts out and throw up, that made me feel on top of the world.
And yet this is the one thing that bothers me so very much. I know, everyone has their own interpretations and opinions on different characters. So let me share my own.
The Wanderer is such a deeply written and intricate character, strung together with deep fears and insecurities, tragic backstories, and a beautiful story of change, healing, and moving forward. (I hate hate hate it when he is forced down to the level of nothing but oversexualization and “uwu sexy anime boy”, but that’s a conversation for another time.)
I’m sure if you’re reading this, you’re probably acquainted with Wanderer’s backstory, so I’m not going to explain. A lot of shit happened that made him who he is, and ever since the events of Irminsul, he has taken on a new path that he cannot go back on. Not like he’d ever want to. He said it himself, he never had any intention of returning to the Fatui. (And also- why choose to go backwards when you’ve got such a nice path set ahead of you?)
Anyways, point is, he’s changing. Notice how I said changing. He’s not changed, he’s just starting to. He’s getting there. Which brings me back to my argument. In the case that Wanderer ends up with a partner, things are certainly not going to be like a normal relationship. (He’s got plenty of red flags, don’t even try to deny it. But he’s a fictional character, so I suppose we can let this one slide.) Is he going to make the first move? That depends on if you make him desperate enough. Otherwise, it’s all on you, babe.
He’s not going to take it well. He’s going to deny it as hard as he can. You don’t love him, how can you? He is the furthest thing from loveable as you can get on this godforsaken planet. (His thoughts, not mine) But he certainly loves you, and, albeit with some likely pressuring assistance from Nahida, he’s come to terms with that terrifying knowledge.
“But he wouldn’t admit that to you.”
STOP. STOP RIGHT THERE.
Here is where my controversial opinion comes in. Most people tend to portray Wanderer as this cold, cut-off, aloof and irritable man, even in a relationship. And before you say anything, no, I absolutely do not think he would be the lovey-dovey, sappy, overly caring and romantic type. He’s not on either end of the spectrum, but I do think he’s somewhere in the middle (but probably leaning towards the former side).
Love is so, so very scary to him. And downright unknown. He’s traversing into uncharted waters here, give him some space to figure things out. That being said, he’s testing these waters. He’s not going to say he loves you at the beginning of a relationship. He has to make sure this thing is going to work. Your relationship is a newly built bridge, and those three words are the heavy cargo passing through. Without a strong foundation, the bridge is going to collapse, no questions asked. The only problem is, it’s going to take a long, long time to build that bridge. It’s going to be more expensive, more time consuming, and cost more materials than you had originally bargained for.
But that cargo can’t sit on one side of the bridge forever, can it? No, it has to get to the other side at some point. So if you have the patience to give your time to this bridge, the cargo will find its way to the other side. The foundation may wobble, the planks may shake, but the bridge isn’t going down.
He loves you, and he would admit it out loud. He would say it to your face. Just maybe not as soon as you want it. It’s going to hurt, and you’re going to wonder if he actually cares for you or not. Fear not, because if you pay attention to those little things he does when you’re not looking, it will feed you those little crumbs you need till you can finally be satiated when the full meal is done cooking. He mends things for you, things you had given up on because you’d never have the time nor energy to do it yourself. He cooks, and surprisingly, it’s always your preferences. He collects things that remind him of you, some he keeps out of embarrassment, and some he leaves on your bedsheets whenever you’re not home.
He’s been hurt, abandoned, and betrayed far too many times to immediately let himself fall into something as complicated as a relationship. He’s going to be distant, you’re going to disagree, probably fight a bit. He’s just seeing how far he can bend the lines, how much you really want him. (red flag maybe!! but he’s working on it, it’s going to be okay. mayyyybe you can look past just this one…) If you won’t leave even if he does this, then he thinks, maybe you’re the one. Maybe fate decides to treat him benevolently for once.
And when you finally, finally get to that point, he’s going to drown you so deep you can never get out. He’ll say he loves you, does everything in his power to make sure you never forget it. (no, he’s not going to read you love poems in the moonlight and call you darling. sorry if that’s your thing, that’s not who he is.)
This relationship will never be perfect, but relationships never are. Just as long as the two of you are willing to be patient with the other and get through your differences and clashing personalities, you are going to mold together perfectly. And even if he doesn’t say it often, (which he probably won’t. he’s certain you know it. why repeat something already ingrained into your mind? he doesn’t use those words lightly), it’s not like he’ll never say it. He won’t leave you in the dark for too long. He loves you, don’t worry. He’ll say it, but he prefers to show it.
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Okay so: How about giving Wanderer, Pantalone, Dottore and Alhaitham flowers 👀
Pick some flowers for them. What's their reaction? Put them in their hair too. Make them a flower crown!
⎯⎯ ୨ Flowers For You! (HCs) ୧ ⎯⎯
ੈ♡˳ Alhaitham, Dottore, Pantalone & Wanderer x Gn!Reader *ೃ༄
ੈ♡˳ Masterlist *ೃ༄
author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
THEY'RE INFESTING MY MIND RN,, THEY'RE ALL SKRUNKLIES,, ty for the request this is ... so soft... omg,,, FINALLY NEW BANNER FOR WANDERER BC OF THAT BDAY ART HEHEHE,, ok i might've had brain rotted too hard on pantalone esp bc the song "call out my name" came up from my playlist while writing him..... have a good day/night!! <33 oh! noticed were mutuals,, got an emoji for ur mutual tag ?? hehe,,
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: canon typical violence, longer than i anticipated, injuries, made up flowers on wanderer's part
"What are you doing?"
"Decorating!" Was your only reply.
Inside the library that Alhaitham often resides in, with piles of books on his table, legs crossed as he read peacefully, you stood behind him, hands raking through his silky hair.
A while ago, you entered the library with a bright smile on your face, a bunch of flowers gathered in your arms. Alhaitham was pleased with your sudden visit, even if his outward appearance was of annoyance, choosing to 'ignore' your existence instead.
Huffing humorously at his attitude, you greeted him cheerfully, giving him a quick peck on the cheek (where he subtly leaned his body to the side to chase your lips for a longer kiss) before placing down the flowers you'd freshly picked from the forest during your forest ranger patrols.
You often brought him flowers after finishing your patrols, always dropping them wherever he was so he'd usually be walking home with a bouquet in his hands. He didn't particularly mind, in fact, he absolutely cherished them, especially when you always put so much thought and effort into them.
Each day you bring a new bouquet, they'd be bundled in different shades of green crepe paper, ribbons, and various designs you could think of, and you do it all by yourself. Even so far refusing opinions from others, pouring all your creativity and adoration for him into each bouquet. You even pick a diverse variation of flowers that would mix and match, then you would list off the meanings of each flower, its anatomy and the role plays in the ecosystem, basically info dumping him.
And each time, Alhaitham would close his book, leaving a bookmark on the page he was reading, and turn his head to you, listening to every word you say and even engaging in a deep conversation with you about biology. In each conversation, each discussion, he learns something new about plants, and he's able to bask in your loving presence, watching your hands fluidly move with your words, noticing the way the corners of your eyes crinkle from the big grin on your face. It's always the tiniest details that warm Alhaitham's heart.
But today was a little different, he supposes. As soon as you got close to where he sat, he took note that you hadn't brought him a bouquet this time, which earned you a raised brow from him. All you responded with was a small mischievous smirk on your lips as you put down the flowers you had gathered that day onto a chair next to him and got behind his back.
Alhaitham hadn't expected you to visit him that day since he had told you he'd be pretty busy, that's why he had a lot more books on his table than usual. And yet here you are, with a plan brewing inside your pretty little head that Alhaitham would just have to let himself fall victim to. It was distracting, sure, but it's you.
So he didn't tell you off and instead allowed you to bury your fingers into his hair, tenderly massaging his scalp and running your hands through his fluffy hair, softly humming a tune near his ear. Soon, you began to put flowers into his hair, playing with his hair and silently giggling behind him.
All the while Alhaitham immersed himself in the books he read, not minding your pestering one bit. As long as you didn't completely distract him from reading, he would let this (and many others things) slide.
From there, you compared Alhaitham to a cat, holding back a snort at the comparison. Whenever you pulled your hands away from his head, he would chase your touch subconsciously, yearning for more. When you still your hands in his hair, he would turn his head to look at you questioningly, an unimpressed glint in his eyes.
And while Alhaitham hasn't spoken a single word after the question he had asked a few moments ago, you could tell that he was enjoying this more than he could let on. His tense muscles had relaxed, leaning back on his chair and, from time to time, you'd catch his eyes flutter close before he'd blink to pull himself out of his sleepiness, he even had a small tugging at the corners of his lips.
He didn't make a move to take out the flowers you had put into his hair once he got up from his seat, returning the books from their respective shelves. Internally chuckling at the image of the blank-faced scribe walking around with flowers littered in his hair, you decided to play nice and reached up to his hair to remove them.
Only for your hands to be swatted away by Alhaitham and receive a halfhearted glare from your dearest lover.
It was quite endearing that Alhaitham did not give a care to anyone who saw him with a head full of flowers, and hair a little messy from all your playing and rubbing, but he ignored their stares, his eyes only focused on you as you walked side by side back to your shared home.
"Hey, Dottie," Hearing your voice from the doorway of his personal office, Dottore paid you no mind and continued to write on his whiteboard with a few other segments behind him. A few segments gave you a brief glance, before returning to the tasks they were assigned with. "Hey Dot, Dottie, Dotdot," You continued annoyingly, listing away all the nicknames you could think of at the top of your head, getting more absurd when you're slowly running out of ideas.
With a sigh, finally popped back the cap of his marker and turned to look at you, only to see you holding a bunch of baskets in your hands and... 2 of his segments holding similar baskets but with flower crowns on their heads. Truly, what a sight to see. You hailed all the way from a couple nations you had to stop by for your mission only to come back and immediately cause some shenanigans inside his laboratory.
Dottore couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips once again as he started walking toward you, eyeing the flower baskets the 3 of you held that were filled to the brim with various flora he was quite familiar with. Letting you put down the baskets on a table, he turned his head to the 2 segments trailing behind your back with a scowl on his face. "You may leave," He orders, before adding. "And take those off."
To his surprise, they hesitated to follow his order, hands froze in midair as if they were contemplating whether to obey or not. Now that greatly irked the Doctor, seeing that 2 of his creations had the gall to not obey right away in front of him, only to be calmed down by you by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Oh c'mon, leave them be. They're just flower crowns, let them have it." You reasoned, gesturing to the 2 segments to move along while Dottore had his attention on you.
With a smirk taking over your features, your hands settled on your hips when you jerked your head in the direction of the baskets you had brought proudly. "Besides, I got you a lot more." Dottore narrowed his eyes at you, dismissing the other segments present inside his office more, taking a few steps closer to you, arms crossed. "What exactly are these?"
You passed a basket to him and he took it, observing the contents of it before widening his eyes slightly, hands now caressing the leaves and petals of the flora you've brought to him. "My recent mission had me running around Teyvat for a bit, so I grabbed everything I could." You explained, eyeing one corner of his office. It had pictures of flora he needed for his experiments, a definitive list of everything he wanted that are plant-based to set a project onward and help with his research. "Be it mythical, illegal, rarest of the rare, or the most expensive, nothing escaped me."
A big, maniacal grin soon blossomed on his face as he further examined the multiple baskets, small giggles emitting from him here and there. Satisfied at his reaction, you proudly crossed your arms and your smirk grew. "My my, whatever is the reason you've become so generous?"
With a mere shrug, you walked behind him, laying your chin on his shoulder as you watched him eagerly sort through the flora you'd given him. "Just wanted to further our research, is all," At that, his movements paused and his grin faltered, head turning to look at you. You blinked at him, before realizing what you'd just said.
"Well, also because I wanted to spoil my dearest partner." You tried to save yourself, though it was the actual truth. Dottore seemed to think your words over, before menacingly smiling at you. "Oh, so they get one of those and not me?" Was he serious? You stared at him incredulously. Well, you guess you couldn't blame him. You mistakenly had told him the gift you had prepared for him was simply for your experiments, not for him.
But you couldn't help it. You let out a small, breathless chuckle before digging your hands inside one of the baskets that held flora that isn't much required for your experiments and began to work for your hands. Dottore watched you while you twisted the stems of each flora, organizing the petals and making them look as pretty as you could, tying them up neatly.
Dottore had pursed his lips as he observed, his expression growing sour when he peeked outside of his office to see a majority of the segments outside had flower crowns on their heads. They all seemed to be containing the joy they had upon receiving a flower crown, while the unlucky ones that doesn't have any were sulking and glaring at the luckier segments.
It seemed to upset Dottore, even more, to see he's one of the unlucky ones, unintentionally beginning to sulk like the rest of them. You had to hold back your laughter when you saw a big frown on his face, eyeing angrily at his segments but you opted to explain yourself to avoid his wrath.
"I thought you'd be satisfied enough with all the stuff I got you, so I didn't make you a flower crown." You said, earning Dottore's attention once more as you kept adding the prettiest flowers you could get your hands on, "I'd imagine you wouldn't want others to see you with such things on you so..." Finalizing the flower crown you made just for him, you turned to face him once more, a sheepish smile on your lips.
"But I suppose I was wrong, making my lover feel jealous." Dottore scowled at your words, opening his mouth to deny it but you just shot him an amused look, presenting him with the flower crown. Compared to the ones you've made for the segments, you put a lot of thought into the flower crown you made for him. It wasn't as messy, considering that you were frequently on the run during your mission whilst you made them.
"I'm sorry my love... Is this enough to earn your forgiveness?" Gently placing the flower crown on his head, pulling back a strand of his hair behind his ear. You then gave him your best puppy eyes on him, knowing full well that it wouldn't work on him. Despite this face, you still liked doing it, putting your hands on his chest.
Dottore didn't speak, only cupping your cheek with his gloved hand. He didn't like the fact that he has a flower crown on his head, but he suppose that he could tolerate it just for you since you made it for him after all. Since it was an act of seeking forgiveness.
How thoughtful of his lover. To bring him so many important materials for his research and make him a flower crown. And you easily got the message that he had forgiven you when he pressed a small, fleeting kiss on your forehead.
The Regrator has it all. He is rich, very rich, so of course, he does. So you can't help but feel a tad insecure whenever you think about giving him something.
You? A mere adventurer who does commissions for a living and even often helps the people around you for free?
How do flowers you've picked while you were doing commissions in a different region compete with the literal huge gardens Pantalone has at the mansions he has all over Teyvat? Every time he brings you to one of his 'vacation homes', you always find yourself lost in the beautiful paradise of flora that he owns.
It's the thought that counts, you argue with yourself. While it's true, it doesn't stop you from hesitating whether to even give the bouquet you've prepared for your dearest lover. Maybe you shouldn't have if you were being honest. Pantalone, in your eyes, was the embodiment of elegance.
He was gorgeous; the smile that's always etched on his lips makes your palms sweat, especially when they're always so genuine whenever they're directed at you. Skin fair, face as refined as smoothed jade. His expression was a balanced mix of sharp frostiness and a polite gleam of warmth, both authoritative and welcoming.
Immaculate and pristine clothing could only be worn, from his coat, gloves, and even the material of his glasses; all were top quality and handmade by professionals amongst professionals. With each calculated step, his entire being is the epitome of wealth.
So who were you to sully the beauty he has with simple flowers that you've handpicked from the forests you've roamed in? Sure, you've cleaned them as much as you could, but giving him flowers that weren't grown in quality gardens- you'd be ruining his image!
Clutching the DIY bouquet you've organized the flowers in, you almost sank to your knees as you continued to mull over your decisions, sulking right in front of Pantalone's office door. It has been 20 minutes since you arrived and the guards stationed near his office have been pitifully glancing at your predicament.
Just as you were about to take a step back and throw the bouquet you'd made, deciding to just do more commissions and earn more mora (and not use the mora he kept giving you) to buy him something more presentable and pleasing to the eye, Pantalone opened the door.
You froze in your spot, but the grip on the bouquet you held tightened to the point it would've been broken. Pantalone was shocked to see you just standing motionlessly at his door, not expecting you to have you back so soon.
Immediately, Pantalone's expression softened and his smile widened. His shoulders relaxed and his body felt lighter just at the mere sight of you, and the feeling of laughter bubbling up his chest when he saw your stupefied face.
You fought the urge to bolt or throw the flowers in your hands to an unsuspecting guard and pretend as if nothing had happened. You stood your ground, no matter how hard your heart was beating against your ribcage when his eyes traveled down, catching sight of the bouquet.
Pantalone's face evidently brightened at the sight of it, the corners of his lips curving upwards. "For me?" He says in a fond tone as his hands reached for the bouquet, but you instinctively flinch back, surprising Pantalone. You quickly stuttered out; "I-I... yeah, yeah it is..." You learned your throat, averting your eyes from him and shamefully bowing down your head.
"But, well, you shouldn't take it. I just picked them in the forest when I was back in Sumeru because when I saw how pretty the flowers were, I thought about you... They're not high quality, so I can just buy you better ones—" You didn't even realize you'd begun rambling, so you were cut off abruptly when Pantalone took the bouquet from your arms anyways, caressing the petals with his gloved hands, his smile never leaving his handsome face.
Then, he gently grabbed your chin and lifted it up with his index finger and his thumb so you'd look at him eye to eye. Before you could say something, he captured your lips against his, tilting your head slightly to the side to deepen the kiss.
Heat exploded on your face, eyes widening at the sudden kiss but you indulge yourself in it nonetheless, kissing back fervently and clutching his coat shakily. You let out a small noise when Pantalone licked your bottom lip, satisfied at the delectable sight of your red face, before pulling away a little.
"I absolutely love them, my dear." He muttered against your skin, taking a step closer to you. "I'm delighted that even when you're out on your travels, you still think of me, so I will cherish these flowers you've given me, for they remind me of your love for me."
Those words sent chills up your spine, and you couldn't suppress the smile forming on your lips and the sigh of relief that escaped through your nose.
"Now, why don't you tell me more about these flowers?"
As a seasoned adventurer, you've equipped yourself with various knowledge of anything that could help you in your survival in the outside world. Perking up at his request, you eagerly nodded at that as the words spilled from your mouth whilst Pantalone led you inside his office, shutting the door close.
And thus the beginning of you always bringing him a fresh bouquet of flowers every time you come back from your commissions, then recounting your wide knowledge of flora to your lover.
And every time, Pantalone would listen intently, learning how to care for the flowers as per your instruction if it meant he could listen to your voice more with such enthusiasm, quell your feelings of inferiority in your relationship, and ignore his piling paperwork to spend more of his time with you.
The Wanderer never really understood the sentiment of giving flowers to your lover. So what if they gave you flora? They're just plants that look pretty and usually smelled good. It was a romantic gesture, others would say. It shows the thoughtfulness you had for your lover, it's why you'd gift them flowers! But would it still be counted as very thoughtful if it's such a common thing lovers do to one another?
He doesn't truly get it, so he had absolutely no idea how to react when you came back to the camp you set up for the night, a wild grin on your face with a bunch of cuts and bruises on your body, your hair one big mess and your clothes were torn and dirty, though you cradled a bunch of flowers in your arms protectively. Well, besides being concerned for your entire being and getting absolutely mad at your lacking self-preservation.
"Just what were you thinking, picking flowers near a Hilichurl Camp without your weapon!? Are you trying to get yourself killed!?" He scolded you whilst he cleaned your wounds, intentionally adding pressure enough to make you wince and hiss in pain to both stops the blow flowing out and punish you for your foolishness, deathly glaring at you.
But you merely had a sheepish smile on your lips as you watched your lover fuss over your wellbeing, wrapping you in bandages and scolding you like a mother whose child had run off to do whatever. To be fair, he had warned about the Hilichurl camp near yours, and that you both agreed to leave it be for now since it was late at night already, but when he told you to grab more firewood, you still went to the Hiluchurl camp unarmed all because some 'pretty flowers' caught your eyes.
Offering you a fresh set of clothing, he let you get dressed whilst he went back to cooking, eyeing the bundle of flowers you left near him. Just why did you get through all that trouble for a bunch of flowers? You can buy flowers at multiple flower shops all over Teyvat! He doesn't understand at all, grumpily huffing under his breath.
You told him that those flowers were for him, that it was worth the trouble. It took all of his willpower to not smack you with the wooden ladle he had in his hand, only gritting his teeth and glaring at you. But for some reason, you were extremely unbothered by your injuries, only apologizing to your partner for worrying him. You kept caressing the flowers with a big grin on your face, features softening as you admired them.
So, he had to ask. "Is there any other reason why you had to get these for me?" He crossed his arms, eyeing you warily. You never ceased to caress the damp petals of the flowers, only scooping them back in your arms and giving them to him.
"They remind me of you." At your answer, he raised a brow. How does a bunch of flowers remind you of me? "I read in a book once that these rare flowers symbolize new beginnings, a fresh new start, and hope." You started, sitting close to him and leaning your body against his, staring up at the night sky. "They grow in an unhealthy environment and start off like wilting little buds of flowers, but the more it grows, the more it blossoms into a beautiful flower."
Slowly, his eyes trailed down to the flowers in his arms, piecing them together bit by bit in his mind. He held the flowers closer to him as he continued to listen to your words. "In the midst of burnt forests, these flowers usually grow at the heart of the disaster, sprouting beauty in hapless surroundings." You finish with a sparkle in your eyes, now gazing at him fondly.
Trying to hide his expression with his hat, he merely responded with; "Hope and new beginnings truly fit this flower then." Though his voice was steady, the same couldn't be said the same with his body, which lightly trembled. Your hand found itself in his, lacing your fingers together. You were relieved that he didn't pull away from your hold, only squeezing your hand as he hugged the meaningful flowers in his arms.
These flowers greatly reminded you of him. Not only because of its appearance, but also what it symbolizes. You admired him as if he was the flowers that you picked near that Hilichurl camp, marveling at the beauty of his new life, the hope in his eyes, and his will to finally live without the strings that were attached to him.
The Wanderer may never get why other couples would give each other flowers; may never understand what's so sentimental about it, but he now knows why you chose to give him those flowers... And it meant quite a lot to him.
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