#Save me white girl save me. I will be quoting that line for a while.

[captain-astors]

Soo. I made this on someone's strawpage but I had no signal so it wasn't actually sent.. And since I got nothing better to do I'll send it to you since apparently you like lawbo-sabo×law.

"Oh, save me, white girl.." & "I can't draw men so have lawbo yuri" Is what's written. My writing is HORRIBLE on anything that isn't paper.

This has made me CACKLE. Thank you so much, sabolaw yuri is real and I love your art. Also don't worry about the handwriting, same.

[youngveinsworld]

quotes from a recap of the young veins' show at the crowbar in tampa, florida on 9 july 2010

standing in line, as people came, made me feel old, really, since most people i saw were there with parents. that was strange-- i've never felt so old. mostly, though, i performed failed attempts at fanning myself with my hand and then discovered it worked much better with a dollar bill for the better part of an hour. And i chewed gum, which is pretty much the only reason my mouth stayed hydrated. it still perplexes me how those girls could stand to be out there in jeans or leggings.

the bouncer who let us in was rather hilarious. he spent his time playing a counting game with himself to see how many people he could put x's on in a row. and then he was bemused by my being from ohio-- he was like 'did you drive down here for this? wtf?'. he was slightly less shocked once i told him i was on vacation.

i kept spotting nick white talking to the bouncer and, at one point, ryan walking around behind the crowd, though i'm not entirely sure how he walked through the entire bar without someone coming up to him.

the young veins came onstage in short sleeves, for once, except nick murray, who was crazy enough to don a button up. even ryan had on his red white and blue polo, which amused me as i had spent time outside earlier wondering if he would end up wearing it, since i doubted even crazy little ryan ross would want to be onstage in a three piece suit in that kind of weather.

their set up took even longer than black gold's, unfortunately, with ryan tripping over numerous power cords, plugging and unplugging shit from the power strip, and repositioning both his pedals and his water cups for the better part of fifteen minutes. my time, then, was spent marveling at how in the world ryan's toothpick legs hold him up and concurring that jon is even prettier now than the last time i saw him.

the sound guy was a huge dick to them, too, and it took him ten minutes to get nick's keyboard fully sounded. ryan was being rather sassy with him, as his guitar was giving some intense feedback, and eventually he was just snapping shortly at him and said it was fine, whatever. it was obviously not that fine, though, and he spent the first three songs readjusting his mic stand and dragging his floor amp around and gesturing to the sound guy to turn up his mic. at one point he clarified to us that we were being lovely, it's just that the sound sucked and that he was sorry for being so cranky, but he used to be in the foo fighters, and he just wasn't used to it.

his snarky little bitch attitude was fabulous, to be honest, and he eventually got so fed up that he was just like 'fuck it. i'm moving.' and dragged his amp and his stand back right in front of me and huffily continued.

the rest of their set went fabulously, in my opinion, and i was really feeling the jive of it all. he dedicated 'capetown' to jon for saving his life when he tried to get married and give away his passport to a girl while he was 'most likely drunk'. and they dedicated a song to black gold so that, according to ryan, 'they wouldn't owe them anything, anything'.

the recent joke about being in a motorcycle gang was continued, with ryan and jon bantering back and forth about how they used to be in the foo fighters but before that they were in a motorcycle gang who traveled all over the world and did lots of dangerous deeds and then ryan goes 'and what was that gang called jon?' and jon told us that it was also called the foo fighters, and that 'that's where the name comes from'. during all this ryan was riffing on his guitar as background music, which was quite cute.

he also, before 'everyone but you' told us that it was a sad song and and that we needed to be quiet and really listen to the words jon was singing because they were serious and we should be too. that song sounds so fabulous live, i must say. another one i really liked live was 'security', which i cannot get out of my head and i spent the night singing in the hotel hallways.

ryan thanked us a lot for changing his night, saying that he was kind of 'bummin' about the sound, but we turned it around. he also thanked rooney for letting him sit on their air conditioned bus earlier because he was super hot.

after they finished their set i was about to die a slow and painful death from the aches in my legs and i decided to get out of the front and sit on the railing. i ended up going over to buy merch instead, and subsequently ended up smushed in a large group of people for about a minute.

there was a riser next to the stage with some tables that i ended up standing on to wait for rooney and ended up talking to ryan once i saw he was there. mostly i wanted to stare at him instead of being coherent, because dear lord that boy is even more gorgeous than i remember him-- such a pretty little shit. instead i joked with him about our stripes matching and explained my tattoo idea to him and had him write 'hey moon' out for me in my notebook, and once he did he was all 'are you sure that's okay? my handwriting is lame' which it is not. stylized it will look fabulous. he was rather shocked that i was gonna tattoo my ribs, though, when i told him about it.

i also took a picture of him with my diana camera, which was funny because he was like 'should i strike a pose?' and was posing around a bit and i was like 'dude. stay still. you're fine.' and then i apparently blinded him with my flash, because he was like 'fuuuuck. briiiiight.' afterwards.

i also talked a bit to jon, who was very smiley and pretty, and had him write me another 'hey moon'. i asked if i could take his picture and he was like 'let's take one!' and i was like 'no, of you, haha' and he was like 'oh ok, noooo problem' and i then blinded him as well. he was quite an excitable little shit.

so, conclusively, best decision i've made in a while and totally worth it. i love ryan ross (and his bitchy little 'tude) unwaveringly and without shame.

– from this Livejournal post

[aspoonofsugar]

Gambol Shroud And Blake's 2 Beauties

Your hopes have become my burden. I will find my own liberation…

This quote is the crux of Blake's arc and it can be read in 2 complementary and intertwined ways:

Blake needs to find "freedom" for the Faunus (outside)

Blake needs to find her own freedom from Adam (inside)

These 2 different "freedoms" give birth to 2 different plot-lines that together make Blake's story. They are initially intertwined in Adam, who is Blake's partner both romantically and politically. This is highlighted also by Blake's fairy tale. As a matter of fact Adam is:

Blake's Rose > He is Blake's mentor whose ideals have corrupted and trapped her in an abusive relationship fed by hate

Blake's Beast romantically > He is Blake's boyfriend, who is a beast because of his abuse towards his Beauty

Blake's Beast politically > He is Blake's partner in crime, when it comes to Faunus Guerrilla. They are the Beasts society refuses to see, so they fight to be seen

In short, Adam plays all the characters of Blake's fairy tale. This is because he has poisoned her life so much, she is initially completely dominated by him. Luckily, things start to change at Beacon where she finds a young fresh rose:

Ruby becomes an inspiration for Blake and helps her find hope again. At the same time, she also leads our black beast to 2 beauties that can help her:

Weiss is the Cold Beauty who is wary of the Beast at first, but eventually warms up to her. She is going to help Blake overcome the hate between humans and faunus.

Yang is the Yellow Beauty our Beast is falling in love with. She is going to show Blake healthy and balanced romantic bonds are possible and wonderful.

This meta is going to briefly explore the set up for both Beauties to help Blake with her arc. In particular, it is gonna show how Gambol Shroud is used to comment Blake's relationship with both Weiss and Yang.

BLAKE'S ARC STRUCTURE SO FAR

Blake's arc seems to follow a specific pattern. In every arc where she gets major focus, she has 2 climatic moments tied to her 2 subplots (faunus/political + abuse/romantic).

In Vale we have:

volume 2 climax that ties with Blake facing the White Feng and her past affiliation with the group (political)

volume 3 climax where Adam comes back into Blake's life with a tragic result (romantic)

In Mistral we have:

volume 5 climax where Blake leads the Managerie Faunus and defeats the White Feng (political)

volume 6 climax where Blake fights Adam and shows she is strong enough to resists his manipulation (romantic)

Let's highlight that these 2 plotlines are initially thightly united, as Adam is both a political leader and Blake's abuser. That said, as the story goes on, they start to separate. Right now, I would say they do not overlap anymore, as Adam is gone forever.

Let's now analyze Weiss and Yang's role in Blake's 2 subplots and their climaxes.

Vale

Blake starts her arc in Vale by

facing the White Feng and her past affiliation with them

facing Adam and their past romantic relationship

Weiss is involved in the first subplot, while Yang in the second.

Weiss's bias and racism bring to the surface Blake's past, forcing our cat girl to open up about it. Later on, Weiss is the first to notice Blake's suspicious demanour in volume 2:

Weiss: Stop. Lately you've been quiet, antisocial and moody! Yang: Uh, have you met Blake? Weiss: Which I get is kind of your thing, but you've been doing it more than usual! Which quite frankly, is unacceptable! You made a promise to me, to all of us, that you would let us know if something was wrong! So, Blake Belladonna, what is wrong!?

They fight together against the giant paladin:

And in the train battle, Weiss and Blake help each other out. Weiss stays behind to give Blake the chance to move forward and confront Torchwick. Blake chooses to save Weiss's life even if it means she is letting Torchwick go:

This scene is particularly important because it parallels (and it foreshadows) this scene:

Blake ends volume 2 by running away with a wounded Weiss and it ends volume 3 by running away with a wounded Yang.

As a matter of fact Weiss kickstarts Blake's arc through their initial conflict, while Yang is the focus of Blake's romantic subplot. She is the one who symbolically "brings Blake" to the dance by convincing her to take a break:

She is the one directly compared to Adam:

Blake: I had someone very dear to me change. It wasn't in an instant, it was gradual - little choices that began to pile up. He told me not to worry. At first they were accidents, then it was self-defense. Before long, even I began to think he was right. This is all just… very familiar. But you're not him. And you've never done anything like this before. So… I want to trust you. I will trust you. But first, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me that he attacked you. I need you to promise me that you regret having to do what you did.

And obviously she becomes Adam's target and victim, which traumatizes Blake and pushes her story forward

Mistral

In Mistral Blake succeeds in 2 different ways:

She takes the White Feng back from Adam's clutches

She herself escapes Adam's clutches once and for all

Weiss doesn't play a big role in these developments. Still, she and Blake are tied up symbolically, as they go through parallel arcs. They both escape their abusers and deal with their opposite legacies. On the one hand Blake embraces Ghira's political legacy. On the other hand Weiss refuses Jacques's. Blake finalizes this part of her development in Mistral. Weiss finalizes hers in Atlas. Basically, both girls are given "narrative personal space" to deal with their opposite sides of the conflict. Blake takes care of the most extremist faction of the White Feng. Weiss saves her family and stops Jacques.

This thematic connection is still highlighted in Haven, when it is Weiss's Queen Lancer which breaks the wall and symbolically reunites Blake with her team:

On her hand Blake is quick to step in when the Queen Lancer is shattered:

She joins when Weiss needs her the most.

This kind of separated and yet intertwined development is shared by Blake and Yang, as well. Throughout volume 4 and 5, the bees face their insecurities and traumas, until they defeat the ones responsible for them:

After that, they share a climax, where they top off their developments by overcoming Adam together:

Nevermore Will I be afraid Nor will I run away It's behind me Freedom is finally here You may have taken the lead but I'll even the score You won the battle you won't win the war Not now and Nevermore

Adam tests their respective growths. He tries to manipulate Blake with guilt and Yang with anger. However, he fails because both girls are now stronger. Together.

SUN AS THE ULTIMATE HELPER

Obviously there is another key character to Blake's arc and that is our good boy Sun:

Sun plays the role of the helper in our cat girl's story. Specifically, both in Vale and Mistral he prepares the terrain for Blake's climaxes with respectively Weiss and Yang.

He follows Blake when she runs from her team because of Weiss

He follows Blake when she runs from her team because of Yang

He is key in supporting Blake throughout her personal journeys both in Vale and Mistral/Managerie and is a big reason why Blake finds her way home both times:

In short, he is the beast who leads the Beauty back to her 2 Beauties/Beasts, who wait for her to complete Blake's fairy tale on two different levels. Macrochosm/political (Weiss) and microchosm/romantic (Yang).

2 RELATIONSHIPS BLOOMING

So, structurally Blake seems destined to solve/top off her 2 major conflicts through her relationships with Weiss and Yang. Still, what are these 2 relationships like?

Obviously, throughout the volumes they have been slowly built up.

Weiss and Blake start as complete opposites, but throughout Beacon they grow closer and this process is still going on:

Weiss: She will. Yang… You, Ruby, and even Blake are more like family to me than my brother or even my own father. I would do anything for you three, and I'm willing to bet Blake feels the same way. So, when she's ready, I'll be there for her. And I know we're not as close, but… I'm here for you too.

Drunk Man: Stupid Faunus like you wouldn't unders-- He looks down to unscrew his flask and pauses when he sees a black glyph beneath his feet. His glasses hover off his face as his eyes widen in surprise. The glyph flings him into the air, and he falls into a dumpster in the nearby alley, his glasses and flask accompanying him soon after. Yang, Nora, Blake and Ruby stare at the dumpster, then turn to see Weiss pointing Myrtenaster where the man had been standing. Weiss: It was worth it.

Weiss: I wish I could take back the years of pain my family has caused the Faunus and all of my complacency in it.

Weiss: Blake… I’m really glad you’re okay. Blake: I’m really glad you are too.

Their story is full of little interactions that show how they are progressively becoming more intimate. From teammates, to friends, to family, to sisters.

Yang and Blake start as fighting partners and grow as romantic love interests. This journey is like... obvious:

They are currently together and closer than ever, as they have finally symbolically united.

GAMBOL SHROUD

Here we come to the motif I really wanted to explore! Blake's bond with her 2 Beauties is conveyed also through Gambol Shroud. This weapon comments Blake's arc as a whole, so it should not be surprising it tells us something on her relationships with others.

It is used early on to highlight her connection with Yang:

Blake and Yang's combination (Bumblebee) is the only one where a weapon is shared with another person. None of the other combos work this way. Moreover, Blake usually does not share her weapon with other people, despite how much she swings around with it. So, it clearly becomes indicative of Yang and Blake's chemistry.

This is true for Weiss and Blake, as well:

Weiss sharing her Dust with Blake emphasizes the girls slowly overcoming their differences. This is why it is also interesting that in volume 9 Blake shares Gambol Shroud with Weiss of all people:

Weiss takes Yang's place in their combination attack (and Yang takes Ruby's). This is a minor detail, but it is still interesting considering another strong parallel:

So far, Gambol Shroud has been damaged twice. Firstly by Adam, who shatters it. Then by Cinder, who burns its ribbon. Both times, a Beauty picks the weapon up and uses it. Yang uses its fragments to help Blake kill Adam. Weiss wields the weapon as a memento of her team and family. Yang and Weiss are also why Gambol Shroud goes back to Blake:

Yang helps Blake heal from Adam and Weiss leads Blake to where Gambol Shroud is in the Ever After. In short, both help Blake to rebuild and find herself again.

BLAKE'S FINAL PUSH

What does it all mean for Blake's story? I think it points to where she is going as we approach the end, tbh. She should have 2 major moments:

One with Weiss where they solve thematically the human/faunus conflict. It doesn't mean they will have racism disappear, of course. Just that they will fight side by side and inspire their respective people to do the same.

One with Yang where they finish their Beauty and Beast love story. As a matter of fact I think we still miss a final top off for them, despite all their focus so far.

When it comes to Blake and Yang's final moment, I think they should go through an inversion of what happened in Mistral. There, Blake leaves Yang and Yang forgives her and is there for her. In Vacuo, I think Yang might unwillingly trigger Blake (for example, her hiding the truth about Raven might have some minor conflict arise). Still, Blake will be able to overcome it and to stay by Yang's side. In this way, she would do for Yang what Yang did for her. Moreover, she will metaphorically overcome Adam once and for all, as she will conquer the traces he left in her by trusting Yang, no matter what.

[notmorbid]

the sympathizer, pt. 1.

dialogue prompts from the sympathizer by viet thanh nguyen.

a talent is something you use, not something that uses you.

'peace' is not the right word, is it?

no one asks poor people if they want war.

nothing is ever as expensive as what is offered for free.

even god and noah couldn't save everyone --- wouldn't, anyway.

music makes bad things bearable and good things wonderful.

for us, there is no end.

enough sadness and gloom. let's drink to hope.

if anyone asks, deny that you know me.

is it almost over?

if you won't do it yourself, do it for ____.

hope's thin. despair is thick, like blood.

despair may be thick, but our friendship's thicker.

blurring the lines between 'us' and 'them' can be a worthy behavior.

i always want to fall in love two or three times a year. i'm well past due.

was it a pleasure?

i didn't want to die that way. i didn't want to die in any way.

if you were in my situation, what would you do?

we will never speak of this again.

the world would be a better place if the word 'murder' made us mumble as much as the word 'masturbation'.

that phone is heavy enough for self-defense.

we waited too damn long to get our act together.

your timing could not be more perfect.

it's easier to get a gun here than to vote or drive.

it takes one to smell one.

no one's innocent, especially in this business.

we're all innocent on one level, and guilty on another.

a slogan is just an empty suit. anybody can wear it.

are you going to quote me?

it's not censorship. it's advice with teeth.

smart and passionate: that's what i care about. the rest, we can negotiate.

i don't look like the girl you knew, do i?

white is also the sign of mourning and death.

while pain is universal, it's also utterly private.

we can't know if our pain is like someone else's unless we talk about it.

thank you for telling me how to do my job.

always resent, never relent.

you can't blame a gay for trying.

you wouldn't want anyone for your friend who actually wanted to be your friend.

you think that because you went to college, people should listen to what you say?

the best medical treatment is a sense of relativism.

every paranoid person is right at least once.

you're not a bastard. you're just an asshole.

[animazi]

AO3 Wrapped: Writer's Edition

tagged by @cheesenames

Words written this year: 43,215 (genuinely how. for context the last things I wrote before this year were all sub 1k pretty much)

Works written this year: 5, all star wars, 3 of those being peedy...

Work Most Proud of: girl and ghost. for something written for a headcanon I don't personally like that much I think it ended up being the neatest and best constructed of everything? providence, in summer has, imo, several massive pacing, thematic and structural issues that annoy me deeply

Work with Most Hits: providence, in summer which is the inevitable answer given its a) not a crackfic, and b) is about an actual main star war character

Fav title: providence, in summer. it's based on the 'providence in the fall of a sparrow' line from hamlet, which is imo quite fitting for padme as I read her (a character who has devoted her entire life to grander works than her, save this little corner of peace she has attempted to whittle out - which even then is caught up in prophecy lol - and I like and certainly used the force sensitivity via the twins idea - suddenly getting these strange awarenesses of the world you can't control and feel alien yet total in their correctness. horrible!) but I thought the unaltered quote was both too long and also didn't properly represent the themes of the fic, see my earlier note about how I'm not satisfied with providence overall lol, so I added the 'in summer' part which does get across another slightly flopped theme of that aka the temporary nature of it all. something both longed for and hated (I despise the heat in summer)

Pairing You Wrote the Most For: sigh. with pain in my voice I must accept my crown. peedy. I was also the World's Most Prolific Peedy Writer (I know I know, please hold the applause)

What Work was the Quickest To Write: um. my dad...the emperor! which I wrote on one (1) train journey. admittedly a full day of train journey, but still.

What Work Took You Longest To Write: providence, in summer...and I'm probably going to redo it at some point lol

How Many WIPS do you have for next year: idk man ideas just spawn in my brain from time to time and sometimes they get accepted, and sometimes they go live in the googledocs prison. I do want to write the vader and the obi-wan ones I've had in docs hell for a while though...

Longest Work of the Year: providence, in summer, although coruscant dreams; or eedy in love is a relatively close second. what can I say I'm a versatile person

Shortest Work of the Year: one love story. I haven't finished it though. I want to do a coffeeshop (cafshop?) au and some other deeply cheesy 2010s fanfic au concept in it still

Fav character to Write: embarrassing (true) answer. eedy. because all im doing is writing crack so I really don't have to care that much about ensuring she has a coherent characterisation going on lol. the serious (false) answer would be padme though, I just really love her so even though I agonise about how to write her, I still have fun

Which work of yours have you re-read the most: girl and ghost because it is actually good.

Total Kudos this Year: boring

Total Hits This Year: also boring

Total Bookmarks This Year: see above

Total Subscriptions This Year: ditto

What Do You Listen To While Writing: either silence or like exclusively sofia isella songs? I don't even like them that much I cannot explain it, 'everybody supports women', 'I looked the future in the eyes, it's mine', and 'all of human knowledge made us dumb' all just. have writing vibes I really cannot explain it

Fav line or passage: oh god. evil question. uhhh can I choose two? nobody is stopping me

from girl and ghost: "She had realised that they were doomed one unremarkable afternoon in the gallery when Vel tipped back her head and laughed, golden girl awash in sparkling glass crystals. In the bright white light the tips of her eyelashes had shone like burnished copper bringing out the blue of her eyes, like some delicate artefact Kleya would handle white-gloved, carefully removed from touching it - for its own sake." (this was one of the first things I wrote for this. I really like it, even though the great gatsby influence is obvious...) from providence, in summer: "In her mind, she dismounted from the guarlara and walked out alone into the grass, blades brushing her shoulders, tangling in her hair until they pulled it out of the tight nautilus shells and carried her feathered headdress down to the ground. They pulled out the ribbons in her hair, brushed away her makeup, tore down the regalia of the queen and left the girl behind to walk on forwards deeper into the grass sea and its whispered susurrus-song; a land baptism between the sky and the sea in the art of emptiness, of hollowing out the self and allowing Naboo to reform her. The pale moons, veiled by day, bore witness as she walked alone and unafraid through the ocean, her path her own. Above her, the hawk followed, thermal currents carrying it smoothly along with her. Morning dew that had not yet evaporated beaded on her bare feet and the air was alive with the ancient song of the wind and the high chirp of crickets and calls of birds. The hawk cried, and Padmé woke from her dream." (I will stand by this: a good amount of providence is genuinely my best writing. it's the sort of somewhat self-indulgent prose I really love, and think fits a padme pov story.)

I. I have not read very much fic this year I have to be honest. I don't read for fun at all during term time, and I've been writing more this year, so I don't know whose done what or tumblr usernames, so I fear I must be boring and double tag @wlwanakin and @midnight-melancholiaaa

[rphelperblog]

Cress Book Quote Rp Meme

book three in the LC series by Marissa Meyer- feel free to edit quotes or change pronouns for rp purposes

“I promise, I will not let you die without being kissed.”

“Don’t tell me it took you two whole days to realize that you are in love with me. I must be losing my touch.”

“You can help me pick out a tiara when we’re done saving the world.”

“Right. I’m sure that poor etiquette is the number one reason for most failed revolutions.”

"I know you can hear me. I'm sorry my friend is such a wing nut. You can just ignore him."

"Do you think it was destiny that brought us together?"

"It starts with kidnapping the groom."

"The sky is gorgeous, intense blue color."

“Have you given any thought to your wedding vows?”

“Delete anything that has to do with love, respect, or joy, and I’ll sign on the dotted line.”

“I believe it is the mark of a great leader to question the decisions that came before him.”

“It turns out you are worth a lot of money on the black market.”

"Do you ever think before you speak?"

“Maybe great, epic romances don't just happen. We have to make them ourselves.”

“Wow, when you research, you really research, don't you?”

“So I’m going there, and I’m going to start a revolution.”

“If you honestly believe that then you really don't recognize true value when you see it.”

"Oh. Um. In a constellation, the brightest star is called the alpha. I thought maybe you meant that she's…like…your brightest star.

“Maybe there isn’t such a thing as fate. Maybe it’s just the opportunities we’re given, and what we do with them. I’m beginning to think that maybe great, epic romances don’t just happen. We have to make them ourselves.”

“You know, when I was a kid, I was tricked into thinking that princesses wore tiaras and hosted tea parties. Now that I've met a real princess, I must say, I'm kind of disappointed.”

"Is she blushing? She sounds like she's blushing."

"That is the best idea ever. Count me in.”

"Can we get back to these soldiers that are being rounded up, please?"

“Could you describe all those threats again because I feel like I missed something.”

"Very wanted criminal of me too.”

"Are you having a mental breakdown right now?”

"Maybe there's a little bit of a hero in me after all. But… really. Only a little.”

“Yeah, hold that thought while I go disable the speaker system.”

“Oh, for all the stars."

“Never underestimate the stealth of a criminal mastermind.”

"I prefer damsel in distress,"

“You’re not looking.”

“We are experiencing a level-one security breach and all elevators have been temporarily shut down. Please enjoy a hot cup of tea while we wait for clearance.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s great. I mean, half the people in the world want to kill her and the other half want to chain her to a throne on the moon, which is just what she’s always wanted. So she’s fantastic.”

“You know, if it was a bad kiss, you can just say so.”

“Everyone is trying to impress everyone else. Trying to make themselves out to be smarter or more confident than they actually are.”

I hate to break this to you, but I am sweaty and itchy and haven't brush my teeth in two days. This just isn't a good time for romance.”

“I like to maintain an air of mystery.”

“That’s not at all what I … Wait. Did you think it was a bad kiss?”

“We were going to die, you know.”

“Because the palace walls have been bleeding for years, and no one else sees it.”

“Don't try to push your swoony psychodrama on me.”

“It would be like those epic love affairs that exploded into existence and burned white hot for all eternity. The type of love that time and distance and death couldn't seperate”

“All right, damsel. Send over those coordinates.”

"I think I am in love with you."

“Maybe there isn’t such a thing as fate. Maybe it’s just the opportunities we’re given, and what we do with them.”

“We are obviously soul mates. Now please, stand up.”

“You’ve probably told lots of girls you loved them.”

“Well, yeah, but I would have reconsidered if I’d known you were going to hold it against me.”

“It was kind of nice to know that they were both wrong."

“For my next trick, I will win a staring contest with the moron in orange sunglasses.”

“Good. Because I need you. And those are not words that I throw around every day.”

“Although. . . somehow, I always pictured the princess . . . I don't know. In a dress.”

“She was a girl. A living girl, smart and sweet and awkward and unusual, and she was worth far more than they could ever realize.”

“I serve my princess. No one else.”

“I am not happy with this turn of events."

“Well, it’s annoying and we’re running out of time. Come on.”

"You'd rather take your chances with her?"

“Then stop going comatose on me!”

“He’s just gone inside to be heroic. I’m sure he’ll be glad to know you’re here. I believe he’s under the impression that you’re out in space somewhere.”

“It always came back to love. More than freedom, more than acceptance—love. True love, like they sang about in the second era. The kind that filled up a person's soul. The kind that lent itself to dramatic gestures and sacrifices. The kind that was irresistible and all-encompassing.”

“I just needed some time to figure out who I was … am.”

"Because if I'd ruined that for you, I was going to feel like such a cad.”

“I can’t let anyone else die,”

“What do you suggest? You clearly know all about this political revolution stuff, so please enlighten me, O wrinkled one.”

“The only way through this is to fight.”

“She deserved it, the snake. After keeping my little golden bird locked up in her cage for so long.”

“I just think I’m not the best person to demonstrate all the goodness humanity has to offer. I don’t want you to be too disappointed when you realize that.”

“That you’re lonely, and I’m irresistible?”

“He did, in fact, look like a romance hero, all muscles and edges and chiseled bone structure. He also looked miserable.”

“Our country was built on a foundation of equality and togetherness, not prejudice and hatred.”

“When Rapunzel saw the prince, she fell over him and began to weep, and her tears dropped into his eyes”

No more secrets. I don't know if I can survive any more big reveals from you, so if you have anything else to tell me, out with it. Right now."

this is sweet, but aren’t I the first guy you’ve ever met? Come on, up you go.”

“She would have freedom, and friendships, and purpose. And she would be with him.”

“Because if there was one thing she knew about heroes, it was that they could not resist a damsel in distress. And she was nothing if not in distress.”

“Love. It always came back to love. More than freedom, more than acceptance—love. True love, like they sang about in the second era. The kind that filled up a person’s soul. The kind that lent itself to dramatic gestures and sacrifices. The kind that was irresistible and all-encompassing.”

I'm almost afraid to ask, Your Majesty."

“As it turned out, being human was every bit as much fun as she'd always thought it would be.”

[autumncottageattic]

Favourite quotes from Bridget Jones's Diary (1996) & Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (1999), just finished re-reading them😄

It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting 'Cathy' and banging your head against a tree

He turned round, revealing that what had seemed from the back like a harmless navy sweater was actually a V-neck diamond-pattern in shades of yellow and blue — as favoured by the more elderly of the nation's sports reporters. As my friend Tom often remarks, it's amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail. A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a grey slip-on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there's no point writing down

Suddenly I realize I am waiting for the phone again. How can it be that the situation between the sexes after a first night remains so agonizingly imbalanced? Feel as if I have just sat an exam and must wait for my results.

Can officially confirm that the way to a man s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.

You should make the most of being single while it lasts, Bridge,' she said. 'Once you've got kids and you've given up your job you're in an incredibly vulnerable position. I know Jeremy thinks my life is just one big holiday, but basically it's extremely hard work looking after a toddler and a baby all day, and it doesn't stop. When Jeremy comes home at the end of the day he wants to put his feet up and be nurtured and, as I imagine all the time now, fantasize about girls in leotards at the Harbour Club.

'I had a proper job before. I know for a fact it's much more fan going out to work, getting all dressed up, flirting in the office and having nice lunches than going to the bloody supermarket and picking Harry up from playgroup. But there's always this aggrieved air that I'm some sort of ghastly Harvey Nichols-obsessed lady who lunches while he earns all the money.'

She's so beautiful, Magda. I watched her toying with her champagne glass despondently and wondered what the answer is for we girls. Talk about grass is always bloody greener. The number of times I've slumped, depressed, thinking how useless I am and that I spend every Saturday night getting blind drunk and moaning to Jude and Shazzer or Tom about not having a boyfriend; I struggle to make ends meet and am ridiculed as an unmarried freak, whereas Magda lives in a big house with eight different kinds of pasta in jars, and gets to go shopping all day. And yet here she is so beaten, miserable and unconfident and telling me I'm lucky . . 

Going out to meet Tom for tea. Decided needed to spend more time on appearance like Hollywood stars and have therefore spent ages putting concealer under eyes, blusher on cheeks and defining fading features.

'Good God,' said Tom when I arrived.

'What?' I said. 'What?'

"Your face. You look like Barbara Cartland.'

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (1999)

Jude had been to the gym where she ended up reading some article calling single girls over thirty 're-treads'. "The guy was arguing that the sort of girls who

 - wouldn't go out with him in their twenties would go out with him now but he didn't want them any more," she said sadly. "He said they were all obsessed with settling down and babies and his rule with girls now was "Nothing over twenty-five".

Whole dating world is like hideous game of bluff and double bluff with men and women firing at each other from opposite lines of sandbags. Is as if there is a set of rules that you are supposed to be sticking to, but no one knows what they are so everyone just makes up their own. Then you end up getting chucked because you didn't follow the rules correctly, but how could you be expected to, when you didn't know what they were in the first place?

"It's very hard for young people now," Elaine interrupted again, looking hard at me. "One can marry anyone when one is eighteen. But when one's character is formed, taking on the reality of a man must seem insufferable. Present company excepted of course."

All friendships between men and women are based on the sexual dynamic. The mistake people make is ignoring this, then getting upset when their friend doesn't shag them."

  "I'm not getting upset," muttered Shazzer.

  "What about friends when neither fancies the other?" said Jude.

  "Doesn't happen. Sex is what drives it. 'Friends' is a bad definition."

"It's not me it's a social trend," I said indignantly. "Women are staying single because they can support themselves and want to do their careers, then when they get older all the men think they're desperate re-treads with sell-by dates and just want someone younger."

  "Honestly, darling. Sell-by dates! Anyone would think you were a tub of cottage cheese in ASDA! All that sillydaft nonsense is just in films, darling."

"No, it's not."

  "Durrr! Sell-by date. They might pretend they want one of these bimbas but they don't really. They want a nice friend. What about Roger what's-his-name that left Audrey for his secretary? Of course she was thick. Six months later he was begging Audrey to come back and she wouldn't have him!"

[streets-of-vale]

SoV - the Runaway (1.5)

/== Table of Contents ==/

Not taking a chance, as soon as Jaune was out of sight, he activated his kit again. Swelling his chest to its maxim B-cup size, rounding his hips, and behind further, and slimming his thighs slightly. With a blink, his eyes swapped from pink to deep almost forest green, and his hair shimmer for a second going from pink and white to neon blue, streaked with red. With his body changed, he did his clothes, making them all black with white barbed wire designs, while also lower his heels from three-inch to two-inch heels.

Stopping next to a parked car, he fished out a small make-up kit, and used the side mirror to apply a blood-red shade of lipstick, that matched his long nails. Stashing the kit back in his pocket, Jaune moved off, giving his rear end a hypnotic sway, keeping with the image of being a “working girl”. Jaune hated this act, but it had served him well in the past, and would probably save his life in the future as well.

“All the world is a stage.” Jaune muttered to himself, partially quoting a famous play, before adding his own to it. “And you’re a bit player who is going to get his ass wasted.”

Jaune walked another block before catching another bus. Unlike the last time when he hid, trying to be unnoticed, this time he did the opposite. He winked and wiggled, waved and kissed, putting on a show, of someone looking for attention from everyone around them. Internally, he was petrified that whoever was after him. Whoever had wasted Noir, would know about his body kit, so he forced himself to act as if he had nothing to hide. Even if that meant he got groped more than a few times.

“Oh, a big boy are we?” Jaune faux moaned out, before licking his lips and wiggling his ass in the lap of the gang banger that had yanked him off his feet. “Keep that up, and a girl might get the wrong impression.”

Jaune felt humiliated, but he couldn’t let it show. He had been in similar situations before, he knew the cards to play, and to be honest if he had to he’d play the T-girl hooker role, he’d do what needed to be done. Especially if it put bodies between him and being found. Fortunately, it didn’t progress that far. No, he was just passed around between the gang members, both men and women. Giving lap dances, and getting fondled.

He stayed on the bus for almost forty-five minutes before it reached the main depot, his chosen destination. Dropping the hip sway, he just made a straight line to the locker bank.  Pilling a slim chain up from between his tits, he moved through the aisles of rentable lockers, until he found his. Opening it up, he pulled out a black pack. Inside he knew was a change of clothes, and a couple grand in lien. It was his emergency stash.

Locking up the locker, he moved out of the storage area, and took a seat in a nearby CCT-Booth. Popping some lien into the slot, he paid the connection fee and dialed his boss’ contact number, making sure to keep the video disabled.

“You better have a fucking good reason to be calling me on this number.”

“It’s Jaune.”

“Where the fucking hell are you?”

“I’m on the street, lying low.”

“You really dog-fucked yourself, Jaune. What the fuck were you thinking, taking a side job? You ain’t no enforcer, or hired gun. You’re a courier!”

“How? Who?”

“That don't matter. Get your ass back to the club. And I mean now!”

“I… I’ll be there in an hour or so.” 

“Where are you?”

“I’m around.”

“Don't play with me, Jaune. Don’t even thinking of fucking playing with me. Where are you?”

“I’m on my way.” Jaune disconnected the call before Junior could say anything else. Jaune sat there for a few minutes, trying to collect his thoughts.

“Of course he would find out you fucking ass…” Jaune cursed at himself as he climbed out of the booth, “He’s an info broker, and you shit the bed big time.”

[onceuponalegendbg-rwby]

RWBY Retrospective: The Four Color Trailers

-- The four color trailers started out as a proof of concept for an idea for a web series about four girls by the series creator, Monty Oum. The Red Trailer, which Oum animated by himself before bringing in others to help with the rest, was his pitch to the company, one that obviously worked out for him. This project in and of itself holds very little story relevance. There’s, of course, the little red hooded girl and her sniper scythe, the Grimm which will be revamped for the series proper, and the mysterious grave marker Little Red was visiting during her stroll through the snowy woods.

Even the song playing over it all gives us very little at first glance. We have the lyrics:

Red Like Roses fills my dreams,

And leads me to the place you rest,

White is cold and always yearning,

Burdened by a royal test,

Black the beast descends From Shadows,

Yellow beauty burns Gold

 In hindsight, this is hinting at our other leading ladies, giving us a glimpse of what they’re like before going into the full instrumental. The music, along with Monty’s amazingly kinetic action, becomes the real star of the show here.

-- The White Trailer does give us a little more to work with, opening with the quote “Everyone is entitled to their own sorrow, for the heart has no metrics or form of measure. And all of it… irreplaceable.” The quotes are something that will carry over to the rest of the trailers and they do a good job of setting the tone for each one.

We’re also treated to our first small taste of voice acting as the disembodied announcer introduces us to ‘Weiss Schnee’ who will be the focus of this trailer. From here we have a similar set up to the first time out. A lone girl fighting off a threat while Jeff Williams’ amazing composition and Casey Lee Williams’ lovely vocals lead us through. And once again the color scheme is predominantly made up of black, white, and a splash of red outside of Weiss’ use of “magic.”

This character is encased in imagery of mirrors and reflection, not only in their use of the song Mirror Mirror but also in how we transition from her performing on stage to her fight against the giant suit of armor. All of this comes together to create the cold loneliness hinted at in Red Like Roses.

-- Now we move on to the Black Trailer which I feel actually stands out the most among its peers, at least in terms of its presentation.

The first two trailers had a real fairytale feel to them. We had Red Riding Hood fighting a horde of Big Bad Wolves and Snow White using “magic” to best a towering knight in shining armor. The music was eerily beautiful and haunting. Here we’re treated to a heavy rock duet while our two leads slash through robots during what seems to be a train heist. This will also showcase the first of many of Jeff’s signature guitar solos to come.

Throughout this trailer our two leads show off their incredible synchronicity as they make their way through the train, alluding to a long, shared history between them. They’re partners. At least, that’s how it appears. As the sequence progresses, however, the feeling of Adam overshadowing Blake in her own trailer becomes more obvious. He’s the first voice we hear. He’s the one that gets in the first shot against the enemy. He saves Blake at one point. He is clearly giving the orders on this mission. He’s the one that gets to have the super ultra cool finishing move against the boss. The trailer properly opens with Blake set against the vibrant red tree line.

The quote that this trailer opens with is “Your hopes have become my burden. I will find my own liberation.” And at the very end, that’s exactly what Blake sets out to do as she literally and figuratively cuts ties with her partner. This is the moment that the trailer finally, finally becomes about her as her black silhouette stands out starkly against the pure red backdrop and she leaves Adam behind.

-- And with that, it’s time we talk about the fourth and final trailer, the Yellow Trailer. “Scathing eyes ask that we be symmetrical, one sided and easily processed. Yet every misshapen spark’s unseen beauty is greater than its would be judgement.” This is the first thing we are shown in Yang’s trailer. This quote is asking its audience to not take everything they’re about to be shown at face value. It’s something that’s highlighted not even two minutes later when Junior of all people underestimates Yang as she enters the club.

Yang plays her part at first, strutting into the club and lowering Junior’s guard with some banter so that she can extract information out of him. What transpires from here is an all-out brawl, once again showing off some of Monty’s excellent choreography which at points does look like the combatants are dancing. In the end it all culminates in one final punch from Yang as, surprise, Little Red makes an appearance. It feels almost like a full circle moment, bringing together the first and last trailer.

Yang’s trailer has some interesting choices on display. Throughout most of it we hear remixes of Red Like Roses, Mirror Mirror, and From Shadows before we get into Yang’s own anthem I Burn. And it’s not even the actual version of the song but another remix. This does suit the club setting, but it still feels like a choice worth noting.

This trailer also significantly breaks away from the others’ black, white, and red color scheme. Those colors are still prominent in the trailer, but Yang’s golden mane is hard to ignore, as well as the brown and orange present in the rest of her design. This trailer also comes across as the most grounded, or at least as close to grounded as baseball bat rocket launchers and shotgun gauntlets can be. Instead of fairytales and sci-fi we have a girl beating down thugs in a night club.

-- The four trailers work well as a hook into the series for newcomers. They show off our four leads, provide some mystery, as well as present us with some excellent spectacle in the colors and action. While they aren’t entirely necessary for the viewing experience of the show, most would say they’re worth a watch as there are some callbacks.

Some General and Unfiltered Thoughts

I genuinely enjoy the trailers. Not only is it just fun to go back and compare where the show started to how it is now, but they are truly just a joy to watch. The music and action really are the highlights of these videos. Not surprising.

I was shocked that Blake’s trailer was the one I had the most to say about and the one I had a more thorough storyline I wanted to discuss because of the four trailers hers is admittedly my least favorite. Or at least it was when I first got into the show back in 2016. Meanwhile, I had the hardest time really getting my thoughts gathered about Yang’s trailer despite her being my favorite character in the show. Period.

There really is a lot of symbolism to work with when regarding the Black Trailer though so perhaps it isn’t that surprising.

All in all, while a little clunky in some areas this is the show’s starting point and it’s such a special and memorable one.

[slashtakemylife]

OMG REMEMBERING THAT SHE HULK LINE ABOUT STEVE JUST MADE ME THINK HOW THEY KEEP RUINING STEVE'S CHARACTER EVEN FOLLOWING EXACTLY THEIR OWN STORY

So Steve wasn't a virgin right? Lost that V to a girl in the USO tour, right?

So let's go all the way back to Cap 1, why does Steve get no-bitches? Because he's small and skinny, get it, fair, however in that same movie we get him speaking to Peggy Carter for the first time and he says and I quote "Waiting for the right partner" and that is something that endears Peggy to him because it means Steve isn't like other men that just look for women for satisfaction, he wants a partner.

This is something that literally comes to play straight out in the movie when Peggy sees Steve kissing that girl and she mentions how quickly he found that "right partner", she literally spells it out how she now sees Steve like any other soldier that would jump at any chance to getting laid instead of looking for a real emotional attachment something that of course the movie tells us isn't true since it was the girl who kissed Steve and not the other way around and we don't see him flirt or look for women outside of Peggy to the point of carrying her picture.

This thought and their kiss, that he looked like it was his first kiss, is what reinforced the belief that Steve was a virgin because we, like Peggy, believed in him.

Aaaaand that just got bulldozed by that line in She Hulk like literally over 10 years later

That scene in Cap 1 has now become utterly useless because then looking back, by that point in the movie Steve has already lost his virginity and then he has the AUDACITY to look sheepish when he damn well knows he did in fact the moment he got jacked and women ran to him, something we also see in the movie, he immediately found his "right partner" or at least for the night.

Now if you go into White Male Logic that's probably behind this they'd go like, Oh well he just met Peggy Carter so they aren't as close as they'll be later, they just met once, he can have some ass now, he wasn't married or promised to her you know?

Ok fine! Yes, let's buy it, completely yes totally Steve doesn't have to save his V precisely for Peggy or not even until marriage, which btw at that time was encouraged right? Or at least to women so the idea wasn't far fetched and supposedly should've been honored by someone like Steve but ok also men are men, yes yes Steve can be a horny guy, he's allowed to ok? I mean he had just met Peggy Carter a handful of times ok?

Ok but also the ending of his character is how utterly devoted he is to Peggy, someone he's never even being on a date with, to the point of never actually forgetting her and at the end his perfect ending is finally living his dream of being with the woman he loves and never forgot and is so devoted he decided to leave everything behind and "have a life" with the love of his life.

Y'all don't see anything amiss at that? This is so cracked up because Steve is both Not all men while also being, Yes all men

He is so utterly devoted to Peggy to the point of choosing to literally go back in time to live a life with her while also being actually a horn dog and he totally did it with at least a girl because what man would go on tour with that amount of women that would clearly launch themselves at him and just not get laid with at least one? Amairight? We can't call Steve a man unless he at least fucked a USO girl.

You can almost feel the double standard because

Male writer: of course Steve was loyal and faithful to her, he just got a non serious fling somewhere, he's allowed that right?

Me: So it would've been the same say if Peggy also wasn't a virgin right?

Male writer fumes in anger

If Peggy Carter had been known to have another sexual partner before even meeting Steve I'm sure she would've been hated, let alone one when she'd already met Steve, after Steve is alright because clearly she had to move on and we can assume it was her husband. The idea of Peggy Carter remaining virgin til marriage or at least with the man she was to marry isn't far fetched or difficult to believe but the idea of Captain fcking America, Steve Rogers and also Male, only having sex until marriage or at least with the person he loves is something that bugles the writers or even the public at large just shows you how big double standards are and for me that way of thought is what made the writers decide to add that line and to me personally it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because I have loved Steve's character and resolve and I do like him and Peggy a lot, to have him be reduced back to "men are men" after all is just so sickening

It really boils down to "males are allowed" and also toxic masculinity that he had to not be a virgin to literally just prove a point, what point idk, idk what so bad of thinking he was

Now listen, ok I'll just take it, I don't care he fcked, he couldn't fcked all the USO girls and they could've mentioned it on screen back then, I don't care but then don't double down and try and make me believe how Steve is "different" and oh so honorable even in his private life were he is respectful of women specially to the woman he fell for and was so loyal to her that even time and space couldn't keep them away, don't try to pull that shit now

[novelmonger]

Book Review: The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep by H.G. Parry

The quote that should have been on the back of the book: "'Uriah Heep's loose on the ninth floor,' he said. 'And I can't catch him.' My brain was fogged with sleep; it took a moment for his words to filter through. 'Seriously, Charley?' I said when they did. 'Again?'"

Premise: Rob Sutherland, a lawyer in Wellington, New Zealand, has a younger brother, Charley, who is an English professor at the university. His brother, a literary prodigy, has the peculiar and often alarming ability to read objects - or characters - out of books. This causes lots of problems, as you might expect, especially because they're trying to keep this ability secret from the world. But things start to go especially crazy when Charley reads Uriah Heep out of David Copperfield, and he hints at a "new world" that is fast approaching....

Thoughts: I. Love. This. Book. Seriously, if that premise alone isn't enough to make you want to pick up the book and read it for yourself, I don't know what's wrong with you.

At first glance, this book might sound a bit like Inkheart, and while there are certainly similarities when it comes to reading characters and things into reality, it has a very different feel. Yes, both are stories about stories, about the power of really connecting to a book you're reading until what's happening on the page is as real as the world around you. Both are about villains trying to take advantage of this power, book characters trying to make a life for themselves in the real world, and the chaotic rush to stop the world from being overrun with the worst horrors books hold. But I guess I would say that The Unlikely Escape of Uriah Heep feels a lot more grown-up. Not to say that it's boring by any means; there's still a lot of beauty and whimsy and wonder. But it deals not just with accidentally reading stuff out of a book or the power of a good story well told. It also deals with how every single reader will have a slightly different interpretation and imagination of a character, some more nuanced than others. It deals with what it means to be a person. What it means to be a family. What it means to have a life. It makes absolute sense to me that the main characters are a lawyer and a university professor, rather than a twelve-year-old girl and an itinerant bookbinder.

Of course, one of the main draws to this story is all the wonderful literary references. These are mostly from British literature, particularly Victorian literature, which meant that I was familiar with (or at least could easily identify) most of the characters you end up meeting. These include Sherlock Holmes, Mr. Darcy, Dorian Gray, the Artful Dodger, Matilda, the White Witch, Dr. Frankenstein, Dracula, Miss Matty, the Scarlet Pimpernel...I'm probably forgetting somebody else super obvious, there's just so many of them! Even for the ones whose stories I haven't read, like Uriah Heep, it's not vital to the main plot to understand what they're about. Rob isn't familiar with all of their stories either, and so gets any necessary explanations from Charley, usually.

I adore any story that praises the power of stories. Of course I do. And this one makes it so clear how powerful they are, how comforting and edifying and exhilarating the written word can be. But even more, I love that this is first and foremost a story about brothers. I'm a sucker for those kinds of stories on the best of days, and so this book got me hook, line, and sinker from page 15 when Rob says, "I would do anything--I would kill the whole world--to keep him from being scared or hurt." a;ldkfjsd;kfljsd;fklj YES PLEASE.

Not once did I have to worry that the brothers' relationship would fall to the wayside for the sake of the plot. The story opens with Charley calling Rob for help in the middle of the night, and the entire story revolves around these two helping each other, fighting with each other, saving each other, pulling each other down and then dragging them back up again...it's everything. Their bond is the bedrock of this story, and I can't get enough of it. The bio in the back says that H.G. Parry has a sister, and I have a hunch that they must be really close. You can tell that she knows what it's like :')

There were so many quotes, especially in the climax, that I wanted to scream from the rooftops (and instead just sobbed quietly in my room as I ugly-cried my way through the ending). They were all so simple that, out of context, they wouldn't seem that remarkable. "I don't care" "I still want him back." "You're my brother." "I know you."

Or this quote from Sherlock Holmes: "Your brother thinks you the best and wisest man in this world. As I said, emotions are antagonistic to clear reasoning." Which is just a;lkjg;dslkgj;sdklgjds;afkj I CAN'T IT HURTS IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE HOLMES AND WATSON AND ROB AND CHARLEY AND AAAAAAHHHHHHH TT_______TT al;kdfgjas;dglkjsd;flkjds;klfj

In conclusion: If you love a good book, if you have ever found yourself sucked into a story till it felt more real than reality, you need to read this book.

[spicywhenspeaking]

Star-Crossed Connection: Chapter One

masterpost

Nick Folio x Original Female Character

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

Seraphina Holloway is Hollywood’s new it girl. But, when an embarrassing viral video of her ex / costar publicly dumping her goes viral, she thinks she needs a quick fix to help maintain her image. When she’s set to appear at her new movies premier she scrambles to find a date to bring that will help take the white hot spotlight away from her public dumping and show that she’s still desirable to all. Enter Nick Folio, drummer of the metalcore band that’s taking over the scene, Bad Omens. He’s a sweet down to earth guy with a heart of gold and when a smokin hot movie star asks him to be her fake boyfriend for a week he agrees to help. But will the line between fake feelings and reals ones start to blur when Seraphina lets her true self show.

word count: 3.3k

Taglist: @cookiesupplier @lma1986 @to-be-written @bngurngheart @jessicafg03 @knivesforapro @thatchickwiththecamera @somewhere-diamond @sorrowsofsilence @malerieee @dsireland86 @collapsedglasshouses

FLASH Seraphina! Seraphina!!  Right here!” FLASH

FLASH Seraphine! Hey! Let’s see a smile over here!”  FLASH

FLASH Seraphina! How are you feeling after the breakup?!”  FLASH

“Have you seen Conner's latest tweets? What do you have to say about him calling you a spoiled brat? and a controlling alcoholic?” 

FLASH FLASH 

The nonstop lights flashing in my face and the condescending questions have me feeling irate. I’m just trying to get to my fucking car. “No! I actually didn’t see his tweets! I could care less what he has to say and you can fucking quote me on that!” I yell back at the paparazzi as I climb into my car and slam the door as they continue clicking pictures over and over again. 

Ugh, I’m never getting away from this embarrassment. The stupid video was a drunken fight with Conner, my on-again-off-again boyfriend of the last year and a half. That fight ended up with us wanting to never speak to each other again.

Unfortunately, he’s my co-star in the movie we just made and we have loads of scheduled press to do along with a week-long film festival in snowy Colorado. I need to figure something out quickly, no way am I showing up to that alone. Conner Frank is a lot of things, talented, gorgeous, charming, but he’s also a petty douche. He’s been subtweeting like a dejected teenage boy since the video leaked. I look like such a primadonna, crying outside of a party sloppy drunk, and yelling at Conner about flirting with some other girl.

I looked like a wild woman, my makeup was smeared and my outfit was barely hanging on my body, he looked like an innocent bystander being berated by a drunkard. But I'm not exaggerating when I say he and this girl were hanging all over each other.

We had gone to the party together and this girl was in his fucking lap, if I had been sober? Maybe I would have handled it better. Instead, there's video evidence of me yanking her off of him and dragging him outside to hurl insults at him and cry about how he doesn’t love me anymore. And just my luck about forty people were video taping it on their phones. It was all over the news the next day, DailyMail, E!, TMZ, my hometown news station even talked about it. Ugh, and now the fucking paparazzi won't leave me alone.

I managed to get out of the parking lot without much hassle. The paparazzi have always been relentless, but I guess they have some regard for their own lives. They moved out of the way pretty fast before they met the underside of my vintage Bronco. My dad practically rebuilt the whole car, It’s all I have left of him since he died five years ago. He was a firefighter and died in a house fire after saving a family of five. I miss him a lot, I’m thankful that I have the memories of fixing up this car together.

 Pulling onto the road I roll down my windows and turn up the radio. “Coming up next we have a band that’s taking over the rock charts with their new single, here’s Bad Omens with Just Pretend,” the radio DJ says as the song begins to play. I’ve never heard of Bad Omens before but I like this station so I’ll check it out. 

I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins

I'm not okay, but I can try my best to just pretend

So will you wait me out

Or will you drown me out?

So will you wait me out

Or will you drown me out? 

(I might have to let you go)

“Oh shit, this is pretty good,” I mumble to myself as the song plays on and I turn the volume up louder. 

I can wait for you at the bottom

I can stay away if you want me to

I could wait for years if I gotta

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

We'll try again

When we're not so different

We will make amends

'Til then I'll just pretend

I listen to the rest of the song and make a mental note to listen to more of their music when I get home. I’m on my way to meet my manager, Alyssa, and my assistant, Jules, for lunch to discuss what next steps I want to take with my career and how to get out of this stupid embarrassing viral expose of my life. 

When I arrive at the cafe where I agreed to meet Alyssa and Jules there is a bit of a commotion but thankfully the manager at the restaurant doesn’t allow the paparazzi inside. Once settled into a corner booth I sigh exasperated. “I am so done with this fiasco, I need an image revamp immediately,” I say to the two others at the table. “Well we can get you booked on Kelly’s show to talk about the movie, she’s great for positive press. Her clips on TikTok do really well.” Alyssa suggests. “Oh yeah, and you could do that karaoke game! People will hear your singing voice and forget all about this shit with Connor.” Jules adds. “I like the talk show idea but not the singing, let’s not forget how horribly received my single did a few years ago. Sometimes actors should just stick to acting. Myself included.” 

“What I need is a new guy, I need to make it seem like I could care less about Connors’s stupid comments and cheating. If I could find a hot, mysterious guy I could make myself look like the hot superstar I’m supposed to be.” 

God, If my dad could hear how fucking full of myself I sound he would throw me in the car and take me right back to grandmas ranch to get rid of this attitude. But I don’t know how else to survive in this world. It’s toxic to a core so I’ve just adapted to be toxic along with it. 

“What kind of guy?” they ask in unison. “What about Jacod Elordi, hes so dreamy,” Jules asks. “I think he’s dating that nepo baby whose mom went to jail.” Alyssa says as she scrolls through her Instagram feed, “What about this TikTok guy? Noah Beck? He’s a cutie.” she flips her phone to show me some photos but I’m unimpressed. “No, I don’t want some cookie-cutter Instagram hunk, I want someone cool and hot. Like….Like….like that guy over there.” 

I point off to the far side of the cafe where a group of guys is sitting at a table, I’m singling out the one with the baseball cap and red cut off shirt. “In between the two long-haired guys across from the one with the neck tattoo. That’s the guy.” I say, admiring his side profile. “Wait a guy like him? Or that guy? Just some random guy?” Jules questions and I don’t answer, I just scooch out of my seat and head over towards the boy’s table.

A few people notice me as I walk over and I offer a small smile. I reach the table where the four boys are seated and clear my throat to announce myself. They look up confused and I begin introducing myself, “Hi, I’m sorry this is kind of weird but I’m-” 

“Holy shit!! You’re Seraphina Holloway!" one of the long-haired guys says. "Haunted Drive-In is one of my favorite indie horror movies, you were so awesome in that! oh!, I’m Nicholas by the way, sorry for interrupting. This is Jolly,” He points across from him, “and Noah” who is sitting to his left, “and this is also Nick, but we call him Folio.” who is the last of them sitting on his right side. They all give a head nod of acknowledgment and Folio offers a little “hey.” 

“Hey! Nice to meet y’all. Wow, I can’t believe you saw that movie! It was one of my firsts but definitely a personal favorite. Goes to show that it’s not the budget that makes the movie, It’s all about writing and having a good director.” I start to ramble and remember the reason I came over. “So this is kind of random but I was wondering,” I turn to the guy he introduced as Folio, “if I could get you’re number?” 

He does a double-take between me and the rest of the guys almost like he’s making sure I’m talking to him. “Me?” he gestures to himself and raises his eyebrows. “Yes, you.” I giggle. “What? Are you not interested?” 

He eyes me up and down and shakes his head, “oh no, I’m definitely interested, Just surprised is all. Um but yes, my number, can I see your phone?” Nodding I hand him my unlocked phone and let him put in his contact information. “Listen are you busy tonight? Maybe we could go out for drinks?” I am never this forward and honestly, it feels kind of cool, but is it empowering or desperation? Shut up inner monologue. It can be both..right? 

“We actually have a show tonight, why don’t you come and we could do something after?” 

“A show? Oh, are yall a band?” I ask and the guy with the neck tattoo looks almost offended that I didn’t know. Like omg sorry but pretty much everyone in L.A. is in a band or some public access soap opera, sue me for not knowing them all. But Folio is the one who responds, “Yeah, Bad Omens, have you heard of us?”

Wow, if that isn’t cosmic intervention at work before my very eyes, “I just heard you guys on the radio! You guys are awesome, you’re playing tonight? Where?”

“Text me your info and I’ll send you some passes for the show”

“Okay, perf. Looking forward to it! Wow, so awesome meeting you guys. I will text you and see you guys tonight” I say with my pageant smile and while turning back towards my table almost completely run into a waitress.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, are you okay?” I say throwing out my hands to keep them from crashing onto the floor, “Yes, I’m okay, it’s fine- oh my god! You’re Seraphina Holloway! Oh my god! Did they really cast you as Ferye in the live-action ACOTAR series, omg that’s my favorite book series, can we get a picture please?” 

Laughing I agree to the picture, “Thats just a rumor, but I would love to play Ferye, could you imagine? I’ll have to call my agent” I joke as we take the quick selfie and with one last wave to the table that was watching my whole interaction I head back to my table to quickly text Folio back with my contact info.

“Sooo? How did it go?” Allyssa asks and her and Jules both lean in to get the details. “Well.. It looks like we’re going to a concert tonight girl!” I say and turn my phone to show the three backstage all-access tickets he just sent over. 

Later that evening the three of us are outside the venue preparing to show our passes. “Wow, I’m so glad we became friends in middle school, movie premies all over the world, free stuff, and now VIP concert tickets. We did good Jules” Allysa says high-fiving Jules and I roll my eyes. “Wow, so that’s all I’m good for now? Free stuff and access to shows and movies?” I joke and we all laugh.

“No no, of course not. You also offer amazing medical benefits.” That makes me burst out laughing. I’ve known Allyssa and Jules since the sixth grade and when my acting career started talking off the choice between some random Hollywood leech and my best friends helping me out I went with my friends and It’s been such an amazing journey so far. Besides the current shit-storm, I’ve found myself in. But, that’s all on me. 

We make it into the venue and head towards the VIP area a few minutes before the opening band goes on. The music is cool and different from what I typically listen to. 

When Bad Omens finally takes the stage I’m transfixed, the show they put on is electric and so fucking fun. I can’t keep my eyes off Folio, he’s a drummer, so hot. Their music is great, the song on the radio was such a gentle introduction to them, they have some really headbanging stuff and I never thought I could be so turned on by someone banging against a drum kit for an hour.

Folio had texted me earlier to wait for them at the backstage exit so when he was done with the show and showered we could head out to hang out. 

When he and the other guys exited he waved and they walked towards us, “the guys are going to the Dave & Busters down the road if your friends want to join? I thought we could take a ride to a coffee spot by the pier” he asks me and I almost swoon on the spot. “That sounds great.” my friends excitedly agree and we say our goodbyes and head our separate ways. 

I follow along side Folio as we walk further into the parking lot, “so should we call an uber? Or did you drive?” I ask and he laughs under his breath as we stop next to a big black motorcyle. “I road here since it was a show in town. How do you feel about riding on a bike?” he asks and my eyes widen a little. Hmmm the risks are falling off and becoming mangled and possible dying and the pros are riding on a motorcylce with a hot drummer..”Sounds fun!” I tell him and accept the hemet he offers me. “But it will mess up my hair.” I fake pout and he laughs, “I think you’d prefere a bad hair day over your brains spilled out over the side of the road. Plus, it would take a lot more than bad hair to make you look bad.” 

I blush slightly and put on the helmet, “how do I look?” I ask and do a spin. 

“Very nice,” he says looking me up and down, “have you ridden before?” 

“Yeah, my dad had bikes and use to take me on rides. He died a few years back so its been a while but I know the drill.” I tell him and try to push down the emotion the clogs my throat. It’s still hard to talk about him. “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss. Was your dad a harley man?” he asks and I can’t help the big smile that speads across my face. “Yeah he had a 1959 Harley-Davidson Duo Glide FLH, it was his baby. It’s still in the garage at my mom’s, I havent been able to ride it. But, maybe someday.” 

“Thats a sick bike, maybe that someday we can go on a ride together?” he asks and I smile and nod as he throws his leg over the bike to start it up. I climb on behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. A few minuets later he takes off out of the parking lot. We fly past or friends walking towards the D&B and give them a quick wave before Folio takes a sharp left towards the coastline. 

It’s been so long since I’ve been on a bike I forgot how much fun it is, the speed, the wind whipping against your skin, the world buzzing past you in a blur of color and lights. 

The closer we get to the pier the stronger the salt air of the air hits my system, the beach is my favorite part of living in California. I love the warm breeze and the sand and the freezing cold water, It’s my little slice of peace in the world.

We make it to the coffee shop about twenty minuets later and once inside I order and green tea and Folio orders a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. He finds us a seat on the patio facing the water. The coffee shop has warm twinkly lights all along their patio and small unscented candles at each table. “This is a cute place, you come here often?” I ask taking a sip of my tea. “Yeah, I like riding near the water, the air is nice out here.” 

I’m starting to forget why I originally asked for his number in the first place, I figure I should just rip the bandaid off. The worst he can do is say no and then I awkwardly uber home and never listen to his band again. I could try this the old fashion way, and date and maybe we would eventually get there but this premier is next week and I don’t have time for traditional dating right now. 

 “Look I don’t know how to ask this and not sound awkward but I have a new movie premiering next week at the Colorado Music and Film Festival and I need a fake boyfriend to make me look hot and my ex look like a loser. I don’t know if you saw but this embarrassing video of me went viral and it’s my literal nightmare to show up to this thing next week with no one when he’ll have the newest victorias secret lingerie model draped all over him.” I blurt it all out like a toddler after eating broccoli for the first time. “Um I know that sounds crazy, but I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend? Would you? It’s in colorado! So snowboarding, good food, parties? Um weed? If thats your thing.” 

“Wait what? Do you just regularly ask people you barely know to movie premiers? And ask them to be your fake boyfriend? How do you know I’m not crazy? And how does a girl like you need a fake boyfriend?” he asks with a small giggle. 

“Ugh, I need a fake boyfriends for the exact reason of being myself. I’m a mess, I just need to not look like a total loser infront of my ex and really the world. I’m some sick joke because I acted like a drunk idiot. Have you ever been a meme? It sucks, and I’m not even a meme I can use ironically with my friends." I take a deep breath before continuing. "Listen I know it’s a lot to ask a stranger, but it would just be a week and if you hate me at the end of it we never have to speak again.” 

He’s quiet for several minuets and I don’t say anything else, I’m sure he’s just thinking of a nice way of letting me down. 

“So a week in colorado with you, at a film festival and I just have to pretend to be your boyfriend?” he asks and I just nod as confirmation. 

“You know what? What the hell, sounds like it might be fun. What do I need to do?”

I don't stop the smile and squeal that break out of my mouth and I practically shoot over the table to hug him. “Oh thank you! thank you! You just need to show up and be the cool motorcycle driving metal drumming guy that you are. Oh and send me your measurements and I can have my stylist pull some stuff for you to wear. I will send you the itinerary tomorrow, this is going to be great.”

As we finish our drinks and head back to the bike I notice movement in my peripheral vision and then a sudden sucussion of bright flashes. 

“Hey Seraphina who's the new guy?” FLASH

“Is this a new guy?” FLASH “whats his name?” FLASH “hey Seraphina give us a smile” FLASH

“Are you going to mess this relationship up like the last one Seraphina?” FLASH “come on give us a smile?” FLASH

“Ugh, I’m sorry. I guess they found out I was here.” I whisper to Folio and he quickly moves to defensively wrap his arm around me and walk us closer to his bike. “No need to apologize, let's just get out of here.” 

He hands me my helmet and we quickly climb onto the bike as the flashes continue going off. Soon I can’t hear their harassing comments as Folio kicks on the engine and speeds down the road. “So I guess that’s the start huh? This is gonna be fun” he laughs and hits the throttle harder sending us blazing down the dark city streets. 

thanks for reading ! :)

Chapter two ->

[0kayblue]

Let’s Go Home

Let’s Go Home 

Fights between friends happen, but sometimes they go a little farther than what they need too. 

Main Character Relations: Billy Hargrove x reader (romantic) Steve Harrington x reader (teeders on lines of romantic and platonic)

As you sat in the passenger seat of Steve’s car with your arms folded against your chest while your mind remained in a blank red state of anger. You didn’t know what set you off or why right now everything caught up with you and all you could feel was this seething hot rage. You felt like it was pouring out of you like hot lava while Steve ranted about some type of bullshit of being the babysitter. The nanny that never got to save the girl or some shit like that. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I like you kids. You’re all funny and very oddly charming, but just once I would like to go off with people my own age! Keep Nancy out of trouble at least.” 

“One, we aren’t kids anymore, two, you are literally with (Y/N) who is the same age as you!” Dustin’s voice laced with this growing annoyance after still having to argue about this. 

“Yeah, and (Y/N) knows how I feel about her and that this is nothing against her, at all. At all.” You let out an annoyed chuckle at Steve’s half assed reply. “What?” 

“What? Harrington, seriously? Do you think this fucking car is filled with people who can’t tell a toilet from a hole in the damn ground? We all know what this is about, and it’s not because you are the quote on quote babysitter, it’s the fact that you keep throwing yourself at Nancy Wheeler’s feet and she just keeps turning you down.” You glared Steve down while his grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white. 

“It is not about that!” 

“Give it a fucking break! Just admit you still have feelings for her, Jonathan isn’t right in front of her at the moment so her attention isn’t on him so, she’s been entertaining this little fucking fantasy of yours that you just might- might- get back together!” A light gasp of disbelief leaving the peanut gallery of Dustin, Max, and Lucas from the backseat. Max prayed that you would look into the rear view mirror and reach her eyes so you would stop going further past the line you just crossed, but it didn’t happen. Fixing your posture and keeping your eyes trained on Steve you opened your mouth unable to stop what was about to fall out of it, “How can you possibly play this little game with her right now? The fucking audacity of it all! You need to get your head in the fucking game, Harrington!” 

“This isn’t a game! And you are one to talk!” Steve took his eyes off the road and met your icy stare. As if you weren’t carrying on your life like Billy was still alive? As if you didn’t live in this fantasy that Billy just took off regardless of the fact that you watched him die. That everyone in the car didn’t see the mindflayer send that last fatal blow through his chest.

“Me? Me! Last I checked I’m laser focused on trying to keep my friends alive and not trying to reignite a cold damp wet spark that didn’t have that much of a spark to begin with!”

“How do you fucking know? You weren’t in the relationship!” 

“It doesn’t take being present to read the body language of someone who clearly wasn’t as in it as you were!” You needed to stop talking, you wanted to stop talking. The not so hidden truth of the matter was that you were jealous of Nancy, of Steve. Jealous that they were both still alive, that they both had the privilege to run back to each other. Having to face the reality that Billy was truly gone and all you had was a jean jacket that smelt more like you than it did like him. “She can’t give you what you want, Steve! You want someone who loves you as much as you love them and Nancy cannot deliver on that, and you know it! I think that's the saddest thing, you know Nancy won’t be there yet you still are willing to give her the time of day! It is honestly so pathetic just like you.” 

Steve slammed on the brakes and fought back, “Don’t you dare project whatever you had with that jackass onto me and Nance!” Steve put the car in park while the back seat adjusted from the harsh and abrupt stop, too shocked to mutter a word. “You live in your fucking head, (Y/N)! He didn’t just run off somewhere, he’s fucking dead! And he isn’t coming back, so whatever life you’ve made up in your head where you both get that chance to run away and live a perfect little dream underneath the Californian sun isn’t happening!” He paused only for a mere second to take a breath before he delivered his final blow without thinking, “You talk a lot of talk for someone who harbors so much guilt! You said no to him that night, you chose not to go with him so stop punishing me for your choice! Wake the fuck up and smell the god damn roses, (Y/N)!” Tears threatened to come rushing from your eyes even though you knew you deserved that. 

“Enough you two.” Max tried to say as sternly as she possibly could while her voice still wavered. She was cautious and slow as she placed a hand on your shoulder from the middle seat, the sight of her shaking slightly catching in Steve’s peripheral vision causing him to step back and really see what he was looking at when he looked at you. Instead of cheeks flushed with anger and eyes that glared freshly sharpened daggers he saw a shaking, scared, and glassy eyed girl. A girl that seemingly shrunk three sizes too small compared to the once large out bursting emotion you just were. A raging fire that he put out by being unusually cruel. 

Steve’s demeanor softened as he spiraled into regret, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. (Y/N), I swear-.” He was cut off by the simultaneous slamming of two car doors. 

“Steve, what in the world are you doing?” Robin asked as she approached your window, her voice muffled by the glass. You broke your gaze from Steve, looking straight ahead as you rolled down your window for Robin to peak into the car. 

“Avoiding those.” Lucas was quick to change the subject and point to the faint red and blue of police lights that were definitely coming from the Wheeler’s house. 

“Shit, Ted.” Dustin said while Nancy sent him glare from Steve’s window. “Sorry, but your dad always does this!” 

“He’s old fashioned, came from a different time where I guess the cops were his friends, I don’t know. He just thinks they can help and he doesn’t want to deal with it.” Nancy defended her father even though she really didn’t want to. 

“Where to now then?” Dustin questioned the group, knowing that his place and everyone else’s houses were out of the question due to their involvement in the ‘mall fire’ a year ago. Each place has to be crawling with the cops and feds by now. 

You opened the car door startling Robin slightly as you got out, “Creel’s.” You muttered, “It’s our only option.” 

“The enemy’s base?” Steve raised a brow as you gestured for Robin to get in the car; which she very awkwardly did, afraid to ask questions. 

“Even though I don’t like it, we only need to lay low for a little while, not make any moves.” Nancy entertained the thought seeing where she could go with this. “We also could take the opportunity to dig around some more, find a weak spot.” 

“He can see everything we do there.” Lucas chimed in, wanting to keep Max far away from there.

“Just as he can see everything here. He already has two sets of eyes. Stay or go, we have the same problem.” Dustin made known as you sniffed, getting yourself under control. 

“So it’s decided. Max I’ll see you at Creel’s, keep the music going, I’ll take over driving for Nancy so she can keep the headphones on. Let’s go.” You headed towards the car while Steve watched you from the rear view while letting out a regretful sigh before his gaze fell to his lap, kicking himself for not being able to shut up. Nancy observed the situation before looking to Robin for answers but was greeted with a shrug. 

“Steve.” Nancy rested a hand on his shoulder calling him out from wherever he was lost. His hesitant look to her caused Robin to question what she was seeing. This whole time Steve has been on beat to everything Nancy has done, why was his reaction so slow now? 

“Other Wheeler, let's go! We don’t exactly have time to kill!” You yelled from the driver's side of Nancy’s car as you got in. Nancy pulled away from Steve and with a nod she was gone, and then the headlights were also gone and focused on the front door of the Creel House. 

________________________________

It was a silent drive and somewhat awkward given that you didn’t know anyone in this car as well as you knew the others. Munson, Wheeler, and Erica Sinclair. You used to make the occasional Mary Jane purchase from Munson, but other than that you knew nothing about him besides the things that were practically written on his forehead. Nancy you were never really friends with and it took awhile for Mike to grow on you and Nancy was still growing, but she didn’t seem to care. Erica was your favorite person in the car even though you barely knew each other. You sighed a sigh of relief as you parked the car and turned off the ignition. “All out who’s getting out.” You said as you all got out of the car noting Eddie’s cautiousness. “It’s your best bet right now, Munson.” 

“Eddie.” You looked back at him with a raised eyebrow as the others got out of the car to meet up with the rest of the group that just arrived. “I know you probably don’t want them to know about our business meetings, but you can call me Eddie, (Y/N). This is me just putting that out there.” He managed to get a sly brief smile out of you before you headed towards the house. 

“Come on then, Eddie.” He followed as you headed up the porch stairs and into the house as you pushed open the cracked door with your foot. The rest of the party filed in quickly with flashlights as your eyes met Max, checking up on her. She nodded slightly giving you a thumbs up. 

Lost in a fog of what you considered to be your biggest failures in life you tuned out the bickering and orders. Steve was right, you needed to get out of your head, Max was your priority. Keeping her safe and alive right now was the only thing you needed to concern yourself with. Keeping the closest thing left to a sister alive. You’ve sucked at your job lately and now was the time to pull through, to bring things back to normal. And then you heard it. 

“(Y/N).” Billy called for you from behind. Your head nearly turned a full ninety degrees as you quickly looked behind you. Greeted with the sight of a dark hallway and a cold nothingness. 

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), are you alright?” Steve asked as you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. You sniffed before looking him in the eyes, he must’ve weaseled his way by you while you were lost in your train of thought. 

“Fine, Fine. Pay attention.” You sniffed again, rubbing your nose with the back of your hand before looking at Nancy. 

“So we agree; Erica, Dustin, Lucas, and Max dig around in the attic, Robin and I will look into this clock thing a little bit more- possibly rip it apart- and, Eddie, Steve, and (Y/N) will study the spider room.” You tried your best not to groan at the pairing, so you just nodded as you took the flash light that Dustin held out to you. “Above all else, stay safe, cautious, and do not let him in.” Nancy finished as the group exchanged glances before splitting up. 

Climbing up stairs that creaked with each step and felt nearly hallowed out from dry rot you all reached the top of the stairs; while Robin and Nancy remained downstairs dusting off years worth of dust looking for anything that could be illuminated by the nearly dead batteries in the cheap flashlights. You and Max parted ways as Steve and Eddie followed you into the bathroom as you crouched down to the vent you handed the flashlight to Eddie. 

“What’s that?” Eddied said, taking the flashlight illuminating the red smeared on the back of your hand, “Did you get into some paint or something?” 

“You’re bleeding.” Steve said, pushing Eddie aside as he was quick to your side grabbing your hand gently to look at it. 

“It’s okay, I probably scratched it on something somewhere earlier and didn’t notice. I’m not going to die.”

“Yeah, well move, in case spiders are magically attracted to the smell of blood or something.” Steve let go of your hand as he reached into the vent. 

“I think you are thinking of sharks, moron.” You laughed slightly, softening the tension from the fight you both had not only an hour ago. 

“Better safe than sorry.” He pulled out each jar and set them on top of the toilet seat while the three of you just stared at them blankly. 

“So what now?” Eddie said with a raised eyebrow as you reached for a jar, peering into it looking for something. Anything. 

“Nancy said that Vecna feels a kinship to spiders, right? So what if we just,” You screwed open the lid and gently put your fingers in, “Get to know them.” Eddie winced as he watched one crawl up your fingers and into your palm. 

“There is no way that thing should still be alive.” Steve said and your face lit up. 

“Reapply to community college because you are a goddamn genius, Harrington.” Steve started to mockingly laugh, thinking that you were joking as you set the spider on the ground and then stepped on it. The sound of its exoskeleton crunching underneath the sole of your shoe. “I’m serious. I mean it’s a long shot but what if these spiders are like a talisman or something? They obviously mean something so what if we-.” 

“Harm Vecna by harming some of the only things that gave him a sense of belonging?” Eddie cut you off by questioning your train of thought. 

“Bingo, I mean for lack of a better understanding.” 

“Woah, woah, wait. What if this only royally pisses him off. Have you thought about that? Put a bigger target on our backs.” Steve tried to reason with you. 

“I killed one and nothing happened.”

“Maybe because it’s only one, the dude has a whole nest here. Let’s not push it.” 

“Well there is only one way to find out.” You said reaching for another jar. 

__________________________________

“(Y/N).” You stopped dead in your tracks as you heard it again, turning and seeing him standing behind you. Looking just the way he did the night he asked you to finally run away with him and looking down at you like you were the center of his world again. 

“Billy.” You jumped to your feet, your eyes locking with his as a sense of calm washing over you. 

“Let’s go home, now.” 

“What? I can’t leave, we can’t. Not yet, anyways, I mean we’ve still got to save Max, defeat Vecna-.”

“What are you talking about, sweetheart? Are you feeling okay?” Billy approached you with a funny smile as the back of his hand felt your forehead. You flinched at the abrupt and cold touch. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay, just pack what you need and we will worry about the rest later. We've gotta get to the apartment before noon Sunday to make it ours, which means we need to get moving.” You stood there as you felt hands that weren’t his rub up and down your arms. Just like he did. “I’m going to grab some stuff from the fridge while you go grab your stuff.” You let out a breath as you slowly started to laugh a quiet and delirious laugh. You didn’t cut your hand, you are just an idiot. Your nose must’ve started bleeding and you didn’t realize and now you’re stuck. Vecna has you and this is the end of the road.

Maybe it wasn’t, maybe you dreamed all of this. Maybe this was just another nightmare, maybe you were okay. You took a deep breath before shutting your eyes and tried to convince yourself that once you opened them you would be in bed and waking up from a cold sweat. This was just another nightmare that started the way all your nightmares did. Billy begging for you to go- just like you both talked about-  while you told him no. The screaming would commence, you would say things you didn’t mean, and then you’d wake up. Your throat would hurt, you’d take some pills, and go about the rest of your day while you watched him die whenever you weren’t completely occupied. Now, all that was left was to open your eyes and go about your day.

“Billy!” Max howled in pain as your eyes shot open. Your body begins to shake as your legs give out and you fall to the hard floor of StarCourt mall. You didn’t wake up and Vecna has finally taken hold of you and placed you in the most traumatic memory of your life. Forcing you to watch your boyfriend die again. A monster taking the person you held most dear to your heart and destroying him in front of your very eyes. 

“No, no, no.” Your hands covering your ears as you began to cry. Having to be a part of the memory that stained every corner in your mind was too much. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Billy.” You repeated over and over while Max cried for her brother to wake up. 

Letting out a gut wrenching scream as it played on a loop behind you while you tried to hide from it curling up into a ball.

_________________________________

“(Y/N)! Come back, (Y/N)! Come back!” Steve screamed at you, shaking you by your shoulders. 

“Not again, I can’t watch this again, man!” Eddie started to spiral while Steve pleaded with you to come back. The gears in his head turned as he searched for a solution. 

“Eddie! Eddie! I’m going to be right back, keep her on the ground!” Steve raced out of the bathroom and nearly tripped over his own feet as he went down the stairs. 

“Steve?” Nancy and Robin called as they followed him out of the house. Watching him from the porch as he fumbled into the driver's seat of his car, opening the glove box and desperately searching for that cassette that played that song that you always hummed along to whenever it played at Family Video.

_________________________________

“You can make it up to me, y’know.” Billy said, as a cold hand was placed on your back. You uncurled yourself from the ball as you looked at him. Your eyes connected with his as he moved closer to you and his other hand cupped your face as he gingerly traced his thumb over your cheek bone. It wasn’t right, this isn't right. “Do you want to make it up to me?” Your lungs tried to regulate your breathing as you pulled yourself up to sit in front of him. Sniffling as you hung on to every word he said. You felt so weak, so pathetic in front of him. Completely and utterly fooled as you melted into the palm of his hand. You were so lost without him and you’ve missed him so much. Every fiber of your being consumed by not knowing how to grieve his loss. 

“Then take my hand and let’s go home.” A single tear fell from his eye as he stood. Outstretching his hand for you to take.

“Home.” The word falling from your lips hysterically. The word itself sends you into a spiral of anxiety and second guessing.

If I could save time in a bottle

The first thing that I'd like to do

Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away

Just to spend them with you

Your gaze broke from Billy as you heard the lyrics that were etched onto your heart. They were almost muffled, but the next desperate plea was not. You turned and faced the sound head on as Steve called for you. Steve, this song, the Family Video. You hummed it and Steve called you a secret sap and then Robin. Robin. She told him to take a page out of your book. And you laughed, a genuine laugh, and you remember that because you laughed about later that night when you thought back on it. 

“Steve. Robin.” 

“(Y/N)!” Steve called again, snapping his fingers in front of your face. An opening presenting itself as you saw silhouettes of Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie. “C’mon wake up now! Don’t make me worry Max! Dammit!” 

“Max.” The Diner, she nearly choked on a fry when you told her that her brother could be quite the dancer when he wanted to be. And your remember the time she confessed she didn’t want an on and off relationship with Lucas, she wanted to be his steady girlfriend and she said she felt stupid for feeling that way. You reassured her that she doesn’t need anybody, but it was okay to want someone who wanted you. 

Billy. Wanting him, needing him. Laying on the hood of his car and staring up at the night sky in your driveway. Just the two of you, a home of your own, you both could just go home. Where they couldn’t follow you and you both could just be. Home. 

“Billy.” You said as you turned away from the opening and to face Billy. 

“(Y/N)!” You were greeted by the low grizzly voice of Vecna as you looked up at him. Quickly crawling backwards, kicking yourself into gear. Before you could pull yourself up though, Vecna had you by the throat and hanging in the air. The air leaving your lungs while the rest of your body felt like it was being set on fire. “I see your guilty conscience and I know your sins. I can get rid of them, I can end your suffering.” 

“Leave. Me. Alone!” 

_________________________________

They watched in terror as your body levitated off of the ground to where your head grazed the ceiling. Your limbs limp and your eyes red and clouded. This felt different to each of them as your arms started to raise to your side and your mouth opened while a gut wrenching scream fell from your agape mouth. They covered their ears to try and drown out the never ending screech of pain.

This was different, this was more terrifying than Max or Nancy. This attack felt personal. One that Steve knew Vecna wasn’t going to give you the chance to get out on your own. Steve uncovered his ears as your head whipped in his direction while an empty face stared him down. Your knees harshly hitting the solid tiled floor as you kneeled in the center of the room, your scream lowering and stopping as this long dry guttural sound left your throat. Steve started to breathe again before he heard the thumps of dropped flashlights hit the floor. 

His attention waived from you to the doorway where Max stood paralyzed along with the other kids. The lights started flickering as the attention from Steve broke and narrowed in on the kids. 

“Follow me.” You said in your voice as the lights began to flicker. “Follow me.” You repeated, but this time not in your own voice but in Billy’s. “Follow me, follow me, follow me.” You repeated over and over as you cycled through your own voice and Billy’s voice while your body slid across the floor and to the doorway. 

Steve began to feel his stomach acid work its way up his throat, ready to throw up whatever was in his stomach. He forced himself to look away knowing that if he watched for much longer he would vomit. His eyes met the toilet and then it hit him and in a last ditch effort he sprang for the toilet and grabbed a jar and with all the force in his body chucked it onto the ground. The glass jar shatters into pieces causing the whole room to grow silent and flinch from the abrupt movement. His eyes locked on the spider that now ran free only momentarily until his foot smashed down onto the spider killing it instantly. 

“The spiders! Kill the spiders!” He strictly instructed as he threw more jars on the ground. As spider after spider escaped from their habitats they were killed before getting to experience a taste of a world that they had been locked away from. 

As Steve reached for the last jar your body was placed back into the air before Vecna had let you go. You began to fall as Steve left the last jar to catch you just in time to keep your tailbone from breaking from the sudden impact of the solid bathroom flooring. 

“(Y/N)! C’mon, c’mon. (Y/N).” He pleaded using two fingers to find a pulse on your neck. “Wake up. Please, wake up.” He pulled your body into his lap as he prayed to feel a heartbeat. 

It was a sudden movement that nearly caused everyone who saw it to jump eight miles back, but you sat up quickly as air filled your lungs and some color started to rush back to your skin. Steve could feel your body shake before your eyes met his and he couldn’t help but to smile as you looked at him with tear filled eyes that were lit up with life. 

Your arms quickly wrapped around him pulling him into a tight hug as you squeezed him. You cried as you desperately clung to him. He returned the embrace as he held you to him and you felt the warmth of his body, the safety that he provided, the comfort of knowing that someone else was there. Something you haven’t felt in such a long time, trust in another person that they had you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything I said in the car and you are far, far from pathetic.” You nearly whispered it into his ear before resting your head against his collarbone briefly. He felt your grip on his sweatshirt tighten slightly before you regretfully let go of him and tried to get up. 

Steve felt remorse as you let go of him and a chill from the lack of your presence so close to him. It felt dirty but he couldn’t help but to wonder if you ever clung that desperately to Billy. He quickly moved on from the thought though as you clearly struggled and everyone else in the room was too scared to help you. 

“Was it this hard for you guys?” You forced out a light tone as Steve adjusted himself to help you up. The whole room sighed a sigh of relief as you stood up. Max was quick to your side as she wrapped an arm around you to help steady you. 

“Yeah, it takes awhile to get your balance back, but you’ve got it.” Nancy said, “You got it.” 

“Man, after that your next ounce is on me, (Y/N). The pure D&D material you just gave me-.” Eddie cut himself off as Dustin signaled for him to stop talking. “I mean, like, are you alright? That was rough.” 

“I’ll hold you to that, Eddie.” You assured him, “In the meantime I say we get the hell out of the god damned house so we can have a chat. Because the Vecna that I saw wasn't the Vecna that we thought we knew.” 

 A/N: Hey! With ‘As It Was’ sort of gaining some traction and with the new season I got inspired. This takes place before episode nine of season 4. It is shorter and a little different than my past stuff, with that being said this reads a lot more like an actual episode of Stranger Things. I just had to get something out riding this new season high. I just, season 4 is so good and I can NOT wait for the next volume! Also, I added a little touch about someone’s tears that I would love to discuss in more detail, but I’ve gotta go because it is really late. Enjoy! (Also a little Steve gif for a treat) 

[vickyvicarious]

Count Dracula and Jonathan Harker — Dark Mirrors

As Dracula Daily goes along, there has been an increasing reversal/exchange of traits between Jonathan and Dracula. There's a lot of parallels or contrasts to be found with most of the cast and the Count, to be fair, but I think Jonathan goes a step further. In some ways it's as if Dracula's early identity theft came true, and they really are beginning to exchange places, or at least meet in the middle.

As I started noticing more and more, I became curious about how often they are directly mirrored, using the same language to describe both Jonathan and Dracula. So... that's what I'm doing here! Below the cut I have collected quotes as much as possible for all the traits I can think of being shared/stolen/exchanged between these two. There's a lot to work with, so it's all divided into three subsections: physical appearance, abilities, personality/role/relationships. (Plus a bonus section for things I want to mention that don't have good quotes to pull or don't fit anywhere else for some reason.) Nothing is in any particular order within each section, but I have arranged any quotes I use for a single trait chronologically.

Enjoy - and feel free to let me know if you find one I've missed! I already plan to update as we go for things that would be spoilers at the moment, so I'm happy to add in anything else relevant too. I can also make a cheat-sheet of all the similarities listed off in bullet-points without all the lengthy quotes, if you want something shorter to reference (because, I will warn you now - this is long). Just let me know. EDIT: cheat-sheet available here.

Physical Appearance

These are some of the most obvious/dramatic changes. I wasn't expecting as much language matching exactly here, since the changes themselves are of such a visible sort. However, it does match surprisingly often.

HAIR COLOR - Dracula gradually goes from white to dark, while Jonathan more abruptly goes from dark to white. Dracula's color change is associated with the youth he regains while feeding, and may thus revert if he doesn't feed. Jonathan's trauma-induced change appears permanent so far.

[Dracula, May 5 - note, the names in brackets are just referring to who the quote is about, not who it's said by] Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere.

+

[Dracula, June 30] There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half renewed, for the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey; the cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath; the mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran over the chin and neck.

+

[Dracula, September 18] There wasn't much people about that day, and close at hand was only one man, a tall, thin chap, with a 'ook nose and a pointed beard, with a few white hairs runnin' through it.

+

[Dracula, September 22] He was very pale, and his eyes seemed bulging out as, half in terror and half in amazement, he gazed at a tall, thin man, with a beaky nose and black moustache and pointed beard, who was also observing the pretty girl.

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 3] Harker was still and quiet; but over his face, as the awful narrative went on, came a grey look which deepened and deepened in the morning light, till when the first red streak of the coming dawn shot up, the flesh stood darkly out against the whitening hair. [...] Last night he was a frank, happy-looking man, with strong, youthful face, full of energy, and with dark brown hair. To-day he is a drawn, haggard old man, whose white hair matches well with the hollow burning eyes and grief-written lines of his face.

+

[Jonathan, October 11] Then her husband turned to her wan-eyed and with a greenish pallor which subdued the snowy whiteness of his hair, and asked:

AGE - Dracula begins the novel with the appearance of an old man, and regains youth and vigor to a degree. Conversely, when his hair changes color Jonathan begins to look very aged as well. While it's true there's only one mention of this, and it may thus be more hyperbole or descriptive language to describe his state in the moment, it still feels worth including.

[Dracula, May 5] Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere. He held in his hand an antique silver lamp, in which the flame burned without chimney or globe of any kind, throwing long quivering shadows as it flickered in the draught of the open door. The old man motioned me in with his right hand with a courtly gesture, saying in excellent English, but with a strange intonation:

+

[Dracula, September 22 - his noticeable features no longer include age when Mina describes him. Jonathan remarks upon the contrast.] He was very pale, and his eyes seemed bulging out as, half in terror and half in amazement, he gazed at a tall, thin man, with a beaky nose and black moustache and pointed beard, who was also observing the pretty girl. [...] "I believe it is the Count, but he has grown young. My God, if this be so! Oh, my God! my God! If I only knew! if I only knew!"

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 3] Last night he was a frank, happy-looking man, with strong, youthful face, full of energy, and with dark brown hair. To-day he is a drawn, haggard old man, whose white hair matches well with the hollow burning eyes and grief-written lines of his face.

CLOTHES - Dracula directly wears Jonathan's clothes specifically to impersonate him on two separate occasions. There is a possible element of mirroring on Jonathan's end as well, but it is largely speculative and you can feel free to consider it a stretch on my part: when Dracula isn't dressed up as Jonathan, he consistently wears all black. Later on in the story, Jonathan is the chief mourner at Mr. Hawkins' funeral. I think it may be reasonable to imagine him wearing mourning clothes as long as a child would for a parent, thus reflecting their relationship to one another. This appears to have been around 6-12 months, though men often only wore a hatband, armband, or ribbon. That may have been based on them going back to work however, which Jonathan didn't really do. Basically... it's possible that Jonathan has also started dressing in large amounts of black (and a change I have seen people make in fanart, etc.), but there doesn't seem to be anything confirming it in the text.

[Dracula, May 5] Within, stood a tall old man, clean shaven save for a long white moustache, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere.

+

[Dracula, June 24] It was a new shock to me to find that he had on the suit of clothes which I had worn whilst travelling here, and slung over his shoulder the terrible bag which I had seen the women take away. There could be no doubt as to his quest, and in my garb, too! This, then, is his new scheme of evil: that he will allow others to see me, as they think, so that he may both leave evidence that I have been seen in the towns or villages posting my own letters, and that any wickedness which he may do shall by the local people be attributed to me.

+

[Dracula, June 29] To-day is the date of my last letter, and the Count has taken steps to prove that it was genuine, for again I saw him leave the castle by the same window, and in my clothes.

+

[Dracula, October 3 - first Seward's, then Mina's description] By her side stood a tall, thin man, clad in black. His face was turned from us, but the instant we saw we all recognised the Count—in every way, even to the scar on his forehead. [...] Then indeed, my heart sank within me: beside the bed, as if he had stepped out of the mist—or rather as if the mist had turned into his figure, for it had entirely disappeared—stood a tall, thin man, all in black.

+

[Dracula, October 5] A tall man, thin and pale, with high nose and teeth so white, and eyes that seem to be burning. That he be all in black, except that he have a hat of straw which suit not him or the time.

-vs-

[Jonathan, September 19 - referencing Jonathan's role, and the first day Jonathan may have started to dress in mourning. The funeral itself was September 22] I dread coming up to London, as we must do the day after to-morrow; for poor Mr. Hawkins left in his will that he was to be buried in the grave with his father. As there are no relations at all, Jonathan will have to be chief mourner.

+

[Suitor Squad, September 29 - Jonathan is not present in this quote. However, it references 'being in mourning' affecting clothes, and even those not officially doing so also wore black at least that particular day] A little before twelve o'clock we three—Arthur, Quincey Morris, and myself—called for the Professor. It was odd to notice that by common consent we had all put on black clothes. Of course, Arthur wore black, for he was in deep mourning, but the rest of us wore it by instinct.

ACCENT - Dracula speaks perfect English at the start of the novel, but he has a noticeable accent. He specifically asks Jonathan to help him practice his English accent and manners. Then, once he arrives in London, no one ever comments on his accent. Even the zookeeper and dockworkers, who otherwise describe his appearance and tone freely and rudely, make no note of his accent. It seems like Dracula has learned from copying Jonathan how to affect an at least somewhat passable British accent (contrary to common portrayal in film).

[Dracula, May 5] The old man motioned me in with his right hand with a courtly gesture, saying in excellent English, but with a strange intonation:—

+

[Dracula, May 7] "I am content if I am like the rest, so that no man stops if he see me, or pause in his speaking if he hear my words, 'Ha, ha! a stranger!' [...] You shall, I trust, rest here with me awhile, so that by our talking I may learn the English intonation; and I would that you tell me when I make error, even of the smallest, in my speaking."

COLD HANDS - A single mention in both cases, but notable for using the exact same phrasing. (The phrase 'cold as ice' is used only one other time, to describe how Seward's heart feels as vampire!Lucy approaches.)

[Dracula, May 5] The instant, however, that I had stepped over the threshold, he moved impulsively forward, and holding out his hand grasped mine with a strength which made me wince, an effect which was not lessened by the fact that it seemed as cold as ice—more like the hand of a dead than a living man.

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 25] We men are all in a fever of excitement, except Harker, who is calm; his hands are cold as ice, and an hour ago I found him whetting the edge of the great Ghoorka knife which he now always carries with him. It will be a bad lookout for the Count if the edge of that "Kukri" ever touches his throat, driven by that stern, ice-cold hand!

BLAZING/BURNING EYES - The Count's eyes are described as red multiple times, but Jonathan's never are. However, when they are angry or full of bloodlust, the same language is used to describe the look in their eyes - specifically 'blazing', and more generally fire/hellfire imagery. This only happens once for Jonathan, but it's still significant for mirroring the exact wording, and because as far as I could find, this wording/imagery is never used for anyone else who isn't actively being influenced/corrupted by Dracula (and it is overwhelmingly associated with him the most). The closest we come is one mention of "fire in his eyes" when Arthur is asking how to help on September 7th, but that has a different tone in my opinion, and in any case doesn't match the exact wording used for Dracula and Jonathan both.

[Dracula, May 8] When the Count saw my face, his eyes blazed with a sort of demoniac fury, and he suddenly made a grab at my throat.

+

[Dracula, May 16] But the Count! Never did I imagine such wrath and fury, even to the demons of the pit. His eyes were positively blazing. The red light in them was lurid, as if the flames of hell-fire blazed behind them.

+

[Dracula, May 28] "See!"—he must have looked at it—"one is from you, and to my friend Peter Hawkins; the other"—here he caught sight of the strange symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly—"the other is a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality!"

+

[Dracula, June 30] Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. [...] There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face. But as I did so the head turned, and the eyes fell full upon me, with all their blaze of basilisk horror.

+

[Lucy, September 29 - a bonus other vampire!] Lucy's eyes in form and colour; but Lucy's eyes unclean and full of hell-fire, instead of the pure, gentle orbs we knew. At that moment the remnant of my love passed into hate and loathing; had she then to be killed, I could have done it with savage delight. As she looked, her eyes blazed with unholy light, and the face became wreathed with a voluptuous smile. [...] The beautiful colour became livid, the eyes seemed to throw out sparks of hell-fire, the brows were wrinkled as though the folds of the flesh were the coils of Medusa's snakes, and the lovely, blood-stained mouth grew to an open square, as in the passion masks of the Greeks and Japanese.

+

[Dracula, October 3] A dark mass spread over the grass, coming on like the shape of a flame of fire; and then He moved the mist to the right and left, and I could see that there were thousands of rats with their eyes blazing red—like His, only smaller. [...] His eyes flamed red with devilish passion; the great nostrils of the white aquiline nose opened wide and quivered at the edge; and the white sharp teeth, behind the full lips of the blood-dripping mouth, champed together like those of a wild beast. [...] It would be impossible to describe the expression of hate and baffled malignity—of anger and hellish rage—which came over the Count's face. His waxen hue became greenish-yellow by the contrast of his burning eyes, and the red scar on the forehead showed on the pallid skin like a palpitating wound.

+

[Dracula, October 5] A tall man, thin and pale, with high nose and teeth so white, and eyes that seem to be burning.

-vs-

[Renfield, October 1 - a notable exception to the vampires being the only other ones with this phrasing. The timing of this description being given after he has aided Dracula to access Mina and is regretting what he's done, seems significant as well.] Suddenly he jumped to his feet, with his eyes blazing and all the signs of intense cerebral excitement. "To hell with you and your souls!" he shouted. "Why do you plague me about souls? Haven't I got enough to worry, and pain, and distract me already, without thinking of souls!"

+

[Jonathan, October 3] I told him exactly what had happened, and he listened with seeming impassiveness; but his nostrils twitched and his eyes blazed as I told how the ruthless hands of the Count had held his wife in that terrible and horrid position, with her mouth to the open wound in his breast. [...] To-day he is a drawn, haggard old man, whose white hair matches well with the hollow burning eyes and grief-written lines of his face. His energy is still intact; in fact, he is like a living flame.

Abilities

These are all pretty much only in one direction - namely, Jonathan acquiring these abilities. They vary on how much you can say "that's not normal" versus Jonathan performing a human version of a vampire activity, but either way they still tend to come from Dracula first.

WALL CLIMBING - One of the first and most noticeable changes in Jonathan stealing traits right back from Dracula. While the Count's version of climbing is definitely supernatural (lizard fashion), Jonathan's freeclimbing is at least upright and subject to gravity, as well as initially shorter and limited to moving sideways rather than down. However, it could be argued that the circumstances under which he does so/speed he uses may be a little inhuman. The language used to describe their climbing on the castle does sometimes echo, though not usually exactly. That said, Jonathan is directly imitating Dracula's technique and mention is made of that (fingers and toes grasping mortar). They also are described climbing Castle Dracula the same number of times, though Dracula only gets described going down and Jonathan's descriptions cover both directions so the actual number of trips is different. Also notable: when Jonathan is attacking him/the group has crucifixes aimed at him on October 3, Dracula's flight out the window involves neither lizard climbing nor turning into mist/a bat. He has transitioned to a more normal/undignified manner of exiting, while Jonathan's climb after him seems much smoother/has greater ease based on the description. It's as though in London, or at least in that moment, they've swapped.

[Dracula, May 12] But my very feelings changed to repulsion and terror when I saw the whole man slowly emerge from the window and begin to crawl down the castle wall over that dreadful abyss, face down with his cloak spreading out around him like great wings. At first I could not believe my eyes. I thought it was some trick of the moonlight, some weird effect of shadow; but I kept looking, and it could be no delusion. I saw the fingers and toes grasp the corners of the stones, worn clear of the mortar by the stress of years, and by thus using every projection and inequality move downwards with considerable speed, just as a lizard moves along a wall.

+

[Dracula, May 15] Once more have I seen the Count go out in his lizard fashion. He moved downwards in a sidelong way, some hundred feet down, and a good deal to the left.

+

[Dracula, June 24] I had been at the window somewhat less than half an hour, when I saw something coming out of the Count's window. I drew back and watched carefully, and saw the whole man emerge.

+

[Dracula, June 29] As he went down the wall, lizard fashion, I wished I had a gun or some lethal weapon, that I might destroy him; but I fear that no weapon wrought alone by man's hand would have any effect on him.

+

[Dracula, October 3] The next instant, with a sinuous dive he swept under Harker's arm, ere his blow could fall, and, grasping a handful of the money from the floor, dashed across the room, threw himself at the window. Amid the crash and glitter of the falling glass, he tumbled into the flagged area below.

-vs-

[Jonathan, June 25] I have seen him myself crawl from his window. Why should not I imitate him, and go in by his window? The chances are desperate, but my need is more desperate still. I shall risk it. [...] The stones are big and roughly cut, and the mortar has by process of time been washed away between them. I took off my boots, and ventured out on the desperate way. [...] I thought he might have the keys on him, but when I went to search I saw the dead eyes, and in them, dead though they were, such a look of hate, though unconscious of me or my presence, that I fled from the place, and leaving the Count's room by the window, crawled again up the castle wall.

+

[Jonathan, June 29 - an extra detail: Jonathan's final climb out of the castle was from the Count's window, not his own bedroom. So the way he left the castle mirrored the way Dracula had left while impersonating him. Also, if you subscribe to the belief (as I do) that Dracula drained Jonathan's blood the night before, then Jonathan is doing this extra-long climb with blood-loss which may be a point in the more supernatural tally.] Then a wild desire took me to obtain that key at any risk, and I determined then and there to scale the wall again and gain the Count's room. He might kill me, but death now seemed the happier choice of evils. Without a pause I rushed up to the east window, and scrambled down the wall, as before, into the Count's room. [...] With a last look around and at the box which contained the vile body, I ran from the place and gained the Count's room, determined to rush out at the moment the door should be opened. [...] I shall not remain alone with them; I shall try to scale the castle wall farther than I have yet attempted. I shall take some of the gold with me, lest I want it later. I may find a way from this dreadful place.

+

[Jonathan, October 3] Godalming and Morris had rushed out into the yard, and Harker had lowered himself from the window to follow the Count.

KUKRI KNIFE - This is rather speculative. I feel like there is some kind of parallel to be built with how often Jonathan is mentioned carrying his knife, mirroring how often Dracula's teeth are mentioned (their respective weapons). The language isn't quite the same though it would have been relatively easy to do (sharp, white teeth = sharp, silver knife) which is why I hesitate to say it is a definite mirroring. I also didn't quote all those moments because they don't fully match and there's so many of them. Aside from that though, Dracula's reaction to the knife was slightly unusual. He was unbothered by the mate's knife on the Demeter, but actively dodged Jonathan twice, once before the others even had their crucifixes lifted. Given the myth about this type of knife being made to draw blood (per @thegoatsongsngs excellent meta), perhaps there is some level of symbolism with it matching Dracula's teeth and being dangerous to the other. Of course, you could just say Dracula was being wary because of the situation/timing of the attack/the money in his pocket, more than actually fearing the knife.

[Mate of the Demeter, August 3 - Dracula is unbothered by the knife] "It was in the bows, and looking out. I crept behind It, and gave It my knife; but the knife went through It, empty as the air." And as he spoke he took his knife and drove it savagely into space.

+

[Jonathan, October 1 - the knife is intended only for mundane threats; Van Helsing doesn't expect it to harm Dracula] "Keep this near your heart"—as he spoke he lifted a little silver crucifix and held it out to me, I being nearest to him—"put these flowers round your neck"—here he handed to me a wreath of withered garlic blossoms—"for other enemies more mundane, this revolver and this knife; and for aid in all, these so small electric lamps, which you can fasten to your breast; and for all, and above all at the last, this, which we must not desecrate needless."

+

[Jonathan, October 3 - another option for why the Count avoids Jonathan's knife may be due to him aiming directly for his heart. We don't know exactly where the mate's knife would have stabbed. That said, the Kukri is more for slashing while the usual danger to a vampire comes from being impaled in the heart (the mate seemed to make more of a stabbing motion), so it's still unclear.] I did not myself know whether our lethal weapons would avail us anything. Harker evidently meant to try the matter, for he had ready his great Kukri knife and made a fierce and sudden cut at him. The blow was a powerful one; only the diabolical quickness of the Count's leap back saved him. A second less and the trenchant blade had shorne through his heart. As it was, the point just cut the cloth of his coat, making a wide gap whence a bundle of bank-notes and a stream of gold fell out. The expression of the Count's face was so hellish, that for a moment I feared for Harker, though I saw him throw the terrible knife aloft again for another stroke. [...] The next instant, with a sinuous dive he swept under Harker's arm, ere his blow could fall, and, grasping a handful of the money from the floor, dashed across the room, threw himself at the window.

+

[Jonathan, October 4 - Van Helsing now describes the Kukri as dangerous to Dracula after seeing his reaction to it] "We can know now what was in the Count's mind, when he seize that money, though Jonathan's so fierce knife put him in the danger that even he dread. He meant escape."

SUPERSPEED - While superspeed is never specifically noted as a vampiric ability, Dracula is known to move quickly. Jonathan's flight to Budapest from Castle Dracula happens at an alarmingly speedy pace which strains the limits of credulity. I know that there has been a more intensive meta/breakdown of the timing, but I can't find it at the moment so I will link this post instead, which shows the distance he was able to travel on a map. He leaves Castle Dracula on June 30th, and on August 12th Sister Agatha says that he has been with them nearly six weeks. A full six weeks would mean he arrived July 1, the very next day after he left, and anything close to six weeks means he only took at most a couple of days to travel to Klausenberg (where he caught the train to Budapest). While this is doable (Google maps tells me it's a 31-hour hike from the Borgo Pass, which is in the rough area of Castle Dracula), that would have been on foot through the mountains with no warm clothes, after climbing out of a castle window, possibly with heavy blood loss. Your mileage may vary on whether this was just Stoker not paying close attention to the timeline (something he has certainly been guilty of at other moments) or whether Jonathan moved with supernatural speed/endurance. Similarly, Jonathan's attack with the Kukri on October 3 is described as something Dracula only avoids via his superspeed - but that may simply be down to a human-speed blow that Dracula needed superhuman reflexes to escape since it was an unexpected/sudden attack.

[Dracula, September 30 - speed is not specifically listed as one of the vampire abilities, but it may be included under the umbrella of superstrength] "This vampire which is amongst us is of himself so strong in person as twenty men; he is of cunning more than mortal, for his cunning be the growth of ages; he have still the aids of necromancy, which is, as his etymology imply, the divination by the dead, and all the dead that he can come nigh to are for him at command; he is brute, and more than brute; he is devil in callous, and the heart of him is not; he can, within limitations, appear at will when, and where, and in any of the forms that are to him; he can, within his range, direct the elements; the storm, the fog, the thunder; he can command all the meaner things: the rat, and the owl, and the bat—the moth, and the fox, and the wolf; he can grow and become small; and he can at times vanish and come unknown."

+

[Dracula, October 3] Suddenly with a single bound he leaped into the room, winning a way past us before any of us could raise a hand to stay him. There was something so panther-like in the movement—something so unhuman, that it seemed to sober us all from the shock of his coming. [...] The blow was a powerful one; only the diabolical quickness of the Count's leap back saved him. [...] The next instant, with a sinuous dive he swept under Harker's arm, ere his blow could fall, and, grasping a handful of the money from the floor, dashed across the room, threw himself at the window.

-vs-

[Jonathan, August 12] He has been under our care for nearly six weeks, suffering from a violent brain fever. [...] He came in the train from Klausenburg, and the guard was told by the station-master there that he rushed into the station shouting for a ticket for home. Seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they gave him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached.

+

[Jonathan, October 3] The first to act was Harker, who, with a quick movement, threw himself before the door leading into the room in the front of the house. [...] Harker evidently meant to try the matter, for he had ready his great Kukri knife and made a fierce and sudden cut at him. The blow was a powerful one; only the diabolical quickness of the Count's leap back saved him. A second less and the trenchant blade had shorne through his heart.

PSYCHIC CONNECTION - You can interpret Jonathan as possibly reading Dracula's mind right before attacking him with a shovel. If so, there's a parallel there to Mina first gaining access to his mind via hypnotism the morning after she had begun turning into a vampire. Of course, that parallel only exists if you believe that Dracula drank Jonathan's blood the night of the 29th (which I do, and gave evidence for below). There is little other evidence for Jonathan knowing Dracula would spread vampirism across London, but he does express a fear of being locked out of Heaven if he dies via supernatural means, and he's aware of the existence of multiple vampires/could know they may have once been human, so he could also have been extrapolating from what he has seen. I've included both the possible mind-reading passage, as well as other relevant quotes below.

[Jonathan, May 16 - Dracula references possibly being the one to turn the vampire ladies into vampires in front of Jonathan] Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said in a soft whisper:— "Yes, I too can love; you yourselves can tell it from the past. Is it not so? Well, now I promise you that when I am done with him you shall kiss him at your will."

+

[Jonathan, June 25 - Jonathan seems certain that a natural death will allow him into Heaven, implying he fears that won't be possible otherwise.] The chances are desperate, but my need is more desperate still. I shall risk it. At the worst it can only be death; and a man's death is not a calf's, and the dreaded Hereafter may still be open to me.

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[Jonathan, June 29] Unless my ears deceived me, I heard the voice of the Count:— "Back, back, to your own place! Your time is not yet come. Wait! Have patience! To-night is mine. To-morrow night is yours!"

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[Jonathan, June 30 - either he is reading Dracula's mind here, or he's had a theory building up over time since May and this is just the first he speaks of it. I also quoted Dracula's bloated appearance to support the previous quote/theory that he drank from Jonathan very recently] There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half renewed, for the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey; the cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath; the mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. [...] Then I stopped and looked at the Count. There was a mocking smile on the bloated face which seemed to drive me mad. This was the being I was helping to transfer to London, where, perhaps, for centuries to come he might, amongst its teeming millions, satiate his lust for blood, and create a new and ever-widening circle of semi-demons to batten on the helpless. The very thought drove me mad.

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[Mina, October 4 - the day after becoming linked to Dracula, she is able to read his mind while hypnotized] "I have an idea. I suppose it must have come in the night, and matured without my knowing it. He must hypnotise me before the dawn, and then I shall be able to speak."

SUPERSTRENGTH - Incredible strength is listed as a specific vampiric power, and is referenced multiple times throughout the book. In the final battle, Jonathan displays an incredible strength by lifting and moving Dracula's box of dirt, with him still in it. While normal humans have been known to exceed their usual limits of strength in extreme situations (hysterical strength) and thus it's possible this wasn't supernatural, it sure seems like it.

[Dracula, May 5 - the first two references are to the driver, the second two to the Count himself. Of course, we know and Jonathan later confirms they are one and the same] Then I descended from the side of the coach, as the calèche was close alongside, the driver helping me with a hand which caught my arm in a grip of steel; his strength must have been prodigious. [...] When the calèche stopped, the driver jumped down and held out his hand to assist me to alight. Again I could not but notice his prodigious strength. His hand actually seemed like a steel vice that could have crushed mine if he had chosen. [...] The instant, however, that I had stepped over the threshold, he moved impulsively forward, and holding out his hand grasped mine with a strength which made me wince, an effect which was not lessened by the fact that it seemed as cold as ice—more like the hand of a dead than a living man. [...] The strength of the handshake was so much akin to that which I had noticed in the driver, whose face I had not seen, that for a moment I doubted if it were not the same person to whom I was speaking; so to make sure, I said interrogatively:—

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[Dracula, September 30] "This vampire which is amongst us is of himself so strong in person as twenty men; he is of cunning more than mortal, for his cunning be the growth of ages; he have still the aids of necromancy, which is, as his etymology imply, the divination by the dead, and all the dead that he can come nigh to are for him at command; he is brute, and more than brute; he is devil in callous, and the heart of him is not; he can, within limitations, appear at will when, and where, and in any of the forms that are to him; he can, within his range, direct the elements; the storm, the fog, the thunder; he can command all the meaner things: the rat, and the owl, and the bat—the moth, and the fox, and the wolf; he can grow and become small; and he can at times vanish and come unknown."

+

[Dracula, October 2] When I had promised to pay for his information and given him an earnest, he told me that he had made two journeys between Carfax and a house in Piccadilly, and had taken from this house to the latter nine great boxes—"main heavy ones"—with a horse and cart hired by him for this purpose. [...] "There was the old party what engaged me a-waitin' in the 'ouse at Purfleet. He 'elped me to lift the boxes and put them in the dray. Curse me, but he was the strongest chap I ever struck, an' him a old feller, with a white moustache, one that thin you would think he couldn't throw a shadder." [...] "Why, 'e took up 'is end o' the boxes like they was pounds of tea, and me a-puffin' an' a-blowin' afore I could up-end mine anyhow—an' I'm no chicken, neither." [...] I had gained a new painful experience; the Count could, it was evident, handle the earth-boxes himself.

-vs-

[Jonathan, September 29 - just one more note on the weight of these boxes. Though the workers were emphasizing the weight as a clue to buy them a drink here, the boxes are mentioned being heavy several other times as well] Their tally was exact with the list, and they had nothing to add except that the boxes were "main and mortal heavy," and that shifting them was dry work.

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[Jonathan, November 6 - remember, this box is the same as the ones the workers struggled with above, and likely heavier given that it has the Count's body inside it] In an instant he had jumped upon the cart, and, with a strength which seemed incredible, raised the great box, and flung it over the wheel to the ground.

PARALYZING GAZE - Both times when someone actual seems about to physically harm him, Dracula is able to stare at them with a gaze that seems to sap their strength and force them to fall back. In the final battle, Jonathan seems to drive away the men Dracula has hired through the force of his gaze alone. You might say he just seems very ferocious and they don't want to mess with him; however, Quincey dies because they do not fall back for him in the same way and he gets stabbed while forcing his way past them, so there is at least some support for Jonathan's gaze being supernatural here.

[Dracula, June 30] There was no lethal weapon at hand, but I seized a shovel which the workmen had been using to fill the cases, and lifting it high, struck, with the edge downward, at the hateful face. But as I did so the head turned, and the eyes fell full upon me, with all their blaze of basilisk horror. The sight seemed to paralyse me, and the shovel turned in my hand and glanced from the face, merely making a deep gash above the forehead. The shovel fell from my hand across the box, and as I pulled it away the flange of the blade caught the edge of the lid which fell over again, and hid the horrid thing from my sight.

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[Dracula, October 3] "So when He came to-night I was ready for Him. I saw the mist stealing in, and I grabbed it tight. I had heard that madmen have unnatural strength; and as I knew I was a madman—at times anyhow—I resolved to use my power. Ay, and He felt it too, for He had to come out of the mist to struggle with me. I held tight; and I thought I was going to win, for I didn't mean Him to take any more of her life, till I saw His eyes. They burned into me, and my strength became like water."

-vs-

[Jonathan, November 6 - his gaze isn't specifically described; however, Mina is too far away to see his eyes clearly, and the contrast to Quincey is notable] In the midst of this I could see that Jonathan on one side of the ring of men, and Quincey on the other, were forcing a way to the cart; it was evident that they were bent on finishing their task before the sun should set. Nothing seemed to stop or even to hinder them. Neither the levelled weapons nor the flashing knives of the gypsies in front, nor the howling of the wolves behind, appeared to even attract their attention. Jonathan's impetuosity, and the manifest singleness of his purpose, seemed to overawe those in front of him; instinctively they cowered, aside and let him pass. In an instant he had jumped upon the cart, and, with a strength which seemed incredible, raised the great box, and flung it over the wheel to the ground. In the meantime, Mr. Morris had had to use force to pass through his side of the ring of Szgany.

Personality/Role/Relationships

The title of this section is pretty loose, and encompasses attitudes and outside perspectives of them as well. Basically a catch-all for anything to do with ideals, personality, narrative role, their relationship to one another or others, etc. Several of these, especially further down the list, also start pulling away from direct quotes mirroring the same language, to being more about contrasting narrative arcs and the like.

LIVING FLAME - This was partially covered in the entry on 'blazing eyes', but I feel like it warrants special mention of its own. When Jonathan is hunting Dracula after Mina's attack, he is described with a turn of phrase otherwise only ever applied to the Count's warrior ancestors (in a very proud, bragging-about-why-they-are-conquerors context). Dracula is also described as looking/moving like a flame several times (usually from a distance or when he can't be seen clearly), which goes along with the hellfire imagery.

[Dracula, May 8] "We Szekelys have a right to be proud, for in our veins flows the blood of many brave races who fought as the lion fights, for lordship. Here, in the whirlpool of European races, the Ugric tribe bore down from Iceland the fighting spirit which Thor and Wodin gave them, which their Berserkers displayed to such fell intent on the seaboards of Europe, ay, and of Asia and Africa too, till the peoples thought that the were-wolves themselves had come. Here, too, when they came, they found the Huns, whose warlike fury had swept the earth like a living flame, till the dying peoples held that in their veins ran the blood of those old witches, who, expelled from Scythia had mated with the devils in the desert. Fools, fools! What devil or what witch was ever so great as Attila, whose blood is in these veins?"

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 3] To-day he is a drawn, haggard old man, whose white hair matches well with the hollow burning eyes and grief-written lines of his face. His energy is still intact; in fact, he is like a living flame.

HUNTER/HUNTED - Initially, Dracula is described as a hunter. Later on, this language reverses and he becomes the hunted. While Jonathan is by no means alone in hunting him, he started off the book in the role of prey and so in his case it becomes a reversal/exchange (unlike the other men who weren't directly hunted by Dracula/Mina who was attacked only after they were working against him first). Despite Dracula's taunt at one point about the group being 'jackals', they are clearly the hunters now, not scavengers. (There is also a lot of animal imagery used for Dracula in general, but I didn't get into that here.)

[Dracula, May 5] The Count's eyes gleamed, and he said:—"Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!" Seeing, I suppose, some expression in my face strange to him, he added:—"Ah, sir, you dwellers in the city cannot enter into the feelings of the hunter."

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[Dracula, September 27] But it may be that he will not attempt the place. There is no reason why he should; his hunting ground is more full of game than the churchyard where the Un-Dead woman sleep, and the one old man watch.

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[Dracula, October 3] "Then he spoke to me mockingly, 'And so you, like the others, would play your brains against mine. You would help these men to hunt me and frustrate me in my designs!'"

-vs-

[Jonathan, May 12 - I just picked a couple quotes to illustrate his initial role as prey. If I had tried to gather up every mention of Jonathan feeling trapped/trying to flee the length would be insane.] I feel the dread of this horrible place overpowering me; I am in fear—in awful fear—and there is no escape for me; I am encompassed about with terrors that I dare not think of...

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[Jonathan, June 25] I thought he might have the keys on him, but when I went to search I saw the dead eyes, and in them, dead though they were, such a look of hate, though unconscious of me or my presence, that I fled from the place, and leaving the Count's room by the window, crawled again up the castle wall.

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[Van Helsing, October 3 - these quotes about hunting are Van Helsing talking, to the whole group but (at least in the first two instances) especially Jonathan. Notably, by October 3rd Jonathan now 'understands' what it means to be a hunter... the feeling Dracula accused him of lacking in the beginning of the book.] "And so we have this day to hunt out all his lairs and sterilise them. So we shall, if we have not yet catch him and destroy him, drive him to bay in some place where the catching and the destroying shall be, in time, sure." [...] "We shall go there and search that house; and when we learn what it holds, then we do what our friend Arthur call, in his phrases of hunt 'stop the earths' and so we run down our old fox—so? is it not?"" [...] "Why take that money? You follow quick. You are hunters of wild beast, and understand it so."

RUNNING HOME - A subset of the previous one in a way, but something I wanted to quote specifically as well. The novel begins with Jonathan trying to escape Dracula and flee home to safety, only to meet his enemy there once more. Then, they reverse: Dracula flees home and Jonathan (together with the others) chase him towards home. If you want to take it a step further, you can note Dracula leaving vampire!Lucy behind alone to face her fate (unaware she already was killed) and prioritizing saving his own skin - and parallel that to Jonathan initially wanting to move on with his life and not confront whether or not Dracula was truly a monster (despite knowing if he is, he might be preying upon other people). I feel that is less distinct of a parallel but it can still be made so I included it here as well.

[Dracula, October 28] "So he came to London to invade a new land. He was beaten, and when all hope of success was lost, and his existence in danger, he fled back over the sea to his home; just as formerly he had fled back over the Danube from Turkey Land." [...] "As he fled back over the Danube, leaving his forces to be cut to pieces, so now he is intent on being safe, careless of all."

-vs-

[Jonathan, June 30] And then away for home! away to the quickest and nearest train! away from this cursed spot, from this cursed land, where the devil and his children still walk with earthly feet!

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[Jonathan, August 24] 'I have had a great shock, and when I try to think of what it is I feel my head spin round, and I do not know if it was all real or the dreaming of a madman. You know I have had brain fever, and that is to be mad. The secret is here, and I do not want to know it. I want to take up my life here, with our marriage.'

TAUNTING - Noted more because it seems a little unusual for Jonathan than for it being a recurring thing or using the exact same wording. Dracula is absolutely sadistic and takes great joy in mocking/tormenting Jonathan repeatedly throughout his imprisonment. While he doesn't waste time doing so in any open confrontation, saving it for his journal, when Jonathan is in what he perceives to be a position of power he gets in on the mockery of politeness as well. His words somewhat reference one of Dracula's taunts.

[Dracula, May 29 - only quoting one instance, as it is the most relevant one] "But I am in hopes that I shall see more of you at Castle Dracula."

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 17] Everything is pretty well fixed now, I think, to welcome the Count on his return from his tour.

BLOODLUST/BLASPHEMY - Not a direct mirror, but Jonathan's dedication to Mina has him willing to damn his own soul, even outright saying he would sell his soul to destroy Dracula. There are also several later moments that imply he would fight his own companions if they ever tried to kill her, despite that being what she requested. While hellish/demonic imagery isn't unusual for vampires in general, Dracula is directly compared to Judas and implied to have potentially made a deal with the Devil while still alive (hence his weather magic not being a normal vampire power). This in addition to Dracula's whole thing being going around damning others' souls to hell (via corrupting them into vampires), which is exactly what Jonathan wants to do to him.

[Dracula, May 29] The last I saw of Count Dracula was his kissing his hand to me; with a red light of triumph in his eyes, and with a smile that Judas in hell might be proud of.

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[Dracula, September 30] "The Draculas were, says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and again were scions who were held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountains over Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as his due."

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 3] To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. [...] "I care for nothing now," he answered hotly, "except to wipe out this brute from the face of creation. I would sell my soul to do it!" [...] "May God give him into my hand just for long enough to destroy that earthly life of him which we are aiming at. If beyond it I could send his soul for ever and ever to burning hell I would do it!"

MINA - Everything about Dracula's relationship to Mina is trying to be a mirror to Jonathan, just in a darker way. The most notable direct contrast is during/after the attack of October 3rd. I've already directly compared the quotes for that day, so I won't repeat it here... but there's a lot of direct contrast. After that day, I think the relationship continues to be the same... while Jonathan and Mina chose one another and are bound by love, Dracula's connection to her is an assault and they both hate one another. An anon wrote me a note on the nature of their relationships while traveling, which I'm just going to quote here: "while Dracula is escaping London for Galatz, he's in inactivity and silence, all while occupying Mina's mind. Jonathan has been made to build "a door" between himself and Mina, who told him to never tell her anything about their actions or else the Count will hear. Jonathan is barred from Mina's mind, all the while the Count is claiming it. He's also silent and increasingly inactive and silent, cold and distant to his peers while this is happening." Generally speaking, Mina and Jonathan seek comfort together; Mina and Dracula use their connection to try and oppose one another. Dracula is (temporarily) tied to her soul just as Jonathan is, but the nature of that connection is vastly different.

[Dracula, October 3] "And you, their best beloved one, are now to me, flesh of my flesh; blood of my blood; kin of my kin; my bountiful wine-press for a while; and shall be later on my companion and my helper."

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[Dracula, October 11] "But you must remember that I am not as you are. There is a poison in my blood, in my soul, which may destroy me; which must destroy me, unless some relief comes to us."

-vs-

[Jonathan, August 24] I could only tell him that I was the happiest woman in all the wide world, and that I had nothing to give him except myself, my life, and my trust, and that with these went my love and duty for all the days of my life.

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[Jonathan, October 11] "You are nearest and dearest and all the world to me; our souls are knit into one, for all life and all time."

RESEARCH/PREPARATION - Not unique to Jonathan alone by any means, the research of our heroes is a large part of the reason Dracula is driven back/able to be defeated (Van Helsing and Mina being especially big stars). However, this is in fact a trait that the Count himself shares as well. This is not anything they learn from the other; both Jonathan and Dracula start out the novel as the type of person who tries to do research and prepare for the future when possible. The difference may be that Dracula is too convinced of his own superiority to admit when he makes a mistake (ex: feeding on the wrong person with Lucy), while Jonathan is generally perfectly willing to listen to most others (colonialist racism aside) and adjust his planning to accommodate new information or events. The many boxes are also an excellent example of this, as Dracula's plan to bring/scatter them about the country was very clever, but he didn't alter his plan to hide them swiftly enough or in new places even when he knew the group had investigated Carfax. Meanwhile, Jonathan dove headfirst into researching/tracking them before even knowing how they were relevant, and then took direction on how to deal with them. I'm only quoting from the beginning of the book, as both their research on the new region they were traveling to was what initially struck me here. *Edit: I'm adding a third quote, when Jonathan remarks to himself that Dracula would make a good lawyer. I don't think it quite needs its own section, but does show how their minds can work in similar ways.

[Dracula, May 7] In the library I found, to my great delight, a vast number of English books, whole shelves full of them, and bound volumes of magazines and newspapers. A table in the centre was littered with English magazines and newspapers, though none of them were of very recent date. The books were of the most varied kind—history, geography, politics, political economy, botany, geology, law—all relating to England and English life and customs and manners. There were even such books of reference as the London Directory, the "Red" and "Blue" books, Whitaker's Almanac, the Army and Navy Lists, and—it somehow gladdened my heart to see it—the Law List. [...] "But, Count," I said, "you know and speak English thoroughly!" [...] He was interested in everything, and asked me a myriad questions about the place and its surroundings. He clearly had studied beforehand all he could get on the subject of the neighbourhood, for he evidently at the end knew very much more than I did.

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[Dracula, May 12] I explained all these things to him to the best of my ability, and he certainly left me under the impression that he would have made a wonderful solicitor, for there was nothing that he did not think of or foresee. For a man who was never in the country, and who did not evidently do much in the way of business, his knowledge and acumen were wonderful.

-vs-

[Jonathan, May 3 - Jonathan's account goes on into various things that he has learned about the region but I'm only quoting the first part that describes him researching.] Having had some time at my disposal when in London, I had visited the British Museum, and made search among the books and maps in the library regarding Transylvania; it had struck me that some foreknowledge of the country could hardly fail to have some importance in dealing with a nobleman of that country.

NO SAFE SPACE - I actually wrote a meta quite a while ago all about Jonathan's privacy being increasingly invaded during his time at the castle, which I'm linking for you. But there are ways that Jonathan actually begins to mirror Dracula's invasion/destruction of his safe space. Dracula gives Jonathan specific paper to write on that will be easily read through a thin envelope; Jonathan retaliates by trying to read his letters as soon as Dracula leaves the room. Dracula later intercepts Jonathan's shorthand letter and burns it while pretending to be Jonathan's friend; in London, Jonathan pretends to still be employed by Dracula in order to gain access to Dracula's documents and read his finished correspondence. Similarly, while staying in Dracula's castle, Jonathan knew that he had no safe space remaining when Dracula had carried him to bed, changed his clothes, could climb in through the window, and had stolen his belongings (more detail in the post linked above). Later on in the book, Jonathan leads the heroes through Carfax, which is meant to be Dracula's safe abode in London. He is almost singlehandedly responsible for tracking down all of Dracula's boxes of earth and thus his other properties, which are what allow him a place of refuge in a foreign land (like Jonathan's private room should have been). Finally, he knows roughly where Castle Dracula is and is the reason the rest of the heroes are able to work out where Dracula is ultimately headed once he's on the run (though Mina is the one who figures out the specific routes to get there). I'm only quoting the letters aspect below, but I think the parallel of the bedroom/home being entered and Jonathan's belongings being stolen/Dracula's boxes being purified is a valid one too. Just very long to quote and doesn't have as distinct line by line parallels to point towards.

[Dracula, May 12] "I pray you, my good young friend, that you will not discourse of things other than business in your letters. It will doubtless please your friends to know that you are well, and that you look forward to getting home to them. Is it not so?" As he spoke he handed me three sheets of note-paper and three envelopes. They were all of the thinnest foreign post, and looking at them, then at him, and noticing his quiet smile, with the sharp, canine teeth lying over the red underlip, I understood as well as if he had spoken that I should be careful what I wrote, for he would be able to read it.

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[Dracula, May 28] The Count has come. He sat down beside me, and said in his smoothest voice as he opened two letters:— "The Szgany has given me these, of which, though I know not whence they come, I shall, of course, take care. See!"—he must have looked at it—"one is from you, and to my friend Peter Hawkins; the other"—here he caught sight of the strange symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly—"the other is a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality! It is not signed. Well! so it cannot matter to us." And he calmly held letter and envelope in the flame of the lamp till they were consumed.

-vs-

[Jonathan, May 12] Then he took up my two and placed them with his own, and put by his writing materials, after which, the instant the door had closed behind him, I leaned over and looked at the letters, which were face down on the table. I felt no compunction in doing so, for under the circumstances I felt that I should protect myself in every way I could. One of the letters was directed to Samuel F. Billington, No. 7, The Crescent, Whitby, another to Herr Leutner, Varna; the third was to Coutts & Co., London, and the fourth to Herren Klopstock & Billreuth, bankers, Buda-Pesth. The second and fourth were unsealed. I was just about to look at them when I saw the door-handle move.

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[Jonathan, September 29] They all knew that I was busy, and that my stay was short, and Mr. Billington had ready in his office all the papers concerning the consignment of boxes. It gave me almost a turn to see again one of the letters which I had seen on the Count's table before I knew of his diabolical plans. Everything had been carefully thought out, and done systematically and with precision. [...] I saw the invoice, and took note of it: "Fifty cases of common earth, to be used for experimental purposes." Also the copy of letter to Carter Paterson, and their reply; of both of these I got copies.

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[Jonathan, September 30] Harker has got the letters between the consignee of the boxes at Whitby and the carriers in London who took charge of them. He is now reading his wife's typescript of my diary. I wonder what they make out of it. Here it is.... [...] The bundle of letters relating to the purchase of the house were with the typescript.

RETURN TO HELL - Not a true exchange of traits so much as an interesting parallel/contrast. To quote an anon, in the later sections of the chase, "The Count is going back to 'Hell' on a dark river, Jonathan is on the same river, also returning to his 'Hell'". I found this particularly interesting. The context of course for Dracula's hell being that he is returning home (hell = home, thus Dracula = demonic) whereas Jonathan is willingly returning to his personal hell where he suffered. This goes along with the Castle being the seat of an old power the likes of which “mere "modernity” cannot kill", as Jonathan says on May 15th (and possibly magical in its own right, as a malevolent ‘genius loci’, per the awesome meta by @see-arcane). Another interesting detail about the river travel as well, is of course the link to the River Styx. Taking a river to hell - of course you’ll think of Styx (though Hades as a whole is not actually a direct parallel to a Christian Hell, it still encompasses the 'bad afterlife' so to speak). But Jonathan and Arthur’s boating accident forced them off the river early, which is actually a good thing in this metaphor, because the further down the river Styx you travel, the worse your punishment will be in the afterlife. So in that sense, them being forced to stop traveling down the river in a boat is akin to saying that though they follow Dracula back to (metaphorical) hell, they aren’t going as far in/won’t be permanently damned the same way.

[Dracula, September 30] Thus, whereas he can do as he will within his limit, when he have his earth-home, his coffin-home, his hell-home, the place unhallowed, as we saw when he went to the grave of the suicide at Whitby; still at other time he can only change when the time come.

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[Dracula, October 4] “Because my dear, dear Madam Mina, now more than ever must we find him even if we have to follow him to the jaws of Hell!”

-vs-

[Jonathan, October 30] “Do you know what the place is? Have you seen that awful den of hellish infamy—with the very moonlight alive with grisly shapes, and every speck of dust that whirls in the wind a devouring monster in embryo? Have you felt the Vampire’s lips upon your throat?”

Miscellany

This is a few notes that I don't really have specific quotes for, and which may not be parallels in the same way as everything else, but which still seem fitting to go in here. Some of these might not be as unique to just these two (not that all the others have been anyway), but they still affect them, so I think are worth mentioning. Some are also just interesting to me but not fully thought out.

COMPANIONS = POWER - Jonathan and Dracula appear to be seesawing back and forth a little bit. In the beginning, Jonathan was isolated while Dracula had his vampiric companions and wolf minions. Then, as soon as Jonathan (together with Mina) enters the story again in London, the tide changes. Until this point, Dracula has been gradually winning and finally kills/turns Lucy. However, when the Harkers arrive, the Suitor Squad (plus Van Helsing) quickly defeat vampire!Lucy, and they all begin working together to hunt Dracula. He seizes back control and gains a new companion of his own (in a sense) once they start leaving Mina alone, though they still drive him away from the country. Then, as tension builds between Jonathan and Mina over her wish to be killed if she poses a danger and his decision to become a vampire with her if she turns, Jonathan starts pulling away from his other companions as well. Or rather, he seems willing to do so if he thinks they're going to harm his wife. At the same time, Jonathan and Mina don't get to talk anymore - and Dracula is able to seize back control briefly and escape their trap, hiring new people to work for him along the way. When Van Helsing slays the vampire ladies and our heroes rejoin one another the balance of strength tips back towards them. Basically there is a pattern of back and forth. When Jonathan is isolated either mentally or physically, Dracula is in power and begins acquiring more companions; when he unites with his companions and especially Mina, Dracula begins to lose.

CULTURAL SUPERIORITY - Jonathan begins the book as a representative of the British, in a way (certainly for Dracula). There is a fair amount of colonialist attitude in his journal entries, dismissing local "superstitions", using racist language/terms, and generally seeming to express a kind of paternalistic fondness for "exotic" ways of life, in a way that reduces them to being lesser than what he knows. This isn't necessarily intended to make him an awful person, or indeed even unusual for someone of that time/place. He may actually be meant as an example of being better/more open-minded than most of his peers, as he does seem to be willing to change his own beliefs and respects their kindness even when he thinks they're being superstitious. But his perspective as a citizen of a ruling empire clashes/mirrors with Dracula's view as a bygone conqueror in interesting ways. Dracula also has a sense of innate superiority that he links to his culture and more specifically his direct family line. Dracula believes that his inherent abilities, his past, and his power all guarantee his success in the future as well. He is looking to conquer a new people, in a way. This divide intersects in interesting ways with Jonathan's status as middle-class employee and Dracula's wealthy nobility as well.

GRAVITY OF CHARACTER - This is more of a meta note. But I've just found it really interesting to watch as many people reading Dracula Daily have reversed their view of Dracula and Jonathan. In the beginning, Jonathan was the subject of a lot of jokes. Dracula too, don't get me wrong - but those jokes still tended to make more fun of what Dracula was doing (cooking dinner, playing maid, etc.), versus mocking Jonathan's character (his awareness, his intelligence, etc.), at least in my opinion. Both of them have been subject to a lot of serious analysis as well as memes, but on the whole, the trajectory has been that people increasingly take Jonathan seriously. Dracula is still being called a dumbass and mocked far more in the late book. There's also a kind of reversal where people who only knew the movies or pop culture didn't care about Jonathan in the very beginning and only knew/cared about Dracula, but now most people seem in agreement that we all hate Dracula and love Jonathan. Just fun to notice the exchange into their reception as well a bit!

[buttercuparry]

Day 1: quotes

I have been looking at the banner quote of Tyrion month:

I think he is a giant come among us, here at the end of the world."

And I never really had any favourite Tyrion quote but the above line makes me feel some kind of way.

Grrm writes well. And one thing he does in his writing is juxtapose ideas that deconstructs the old tropes of fantasy literature. The one who is beautiful, is not kind. Snow White's prince charming may as well be a tyrant in asoiaf. An old witch doesn't wish for a first born- all she needs is a song to keep the memory of her friend alive. The fat coward, who has been chased out of his home becomes the hero who saves a girl.

The dwarf casts a shadow as tall as a king.

All throughout asoiaf we have references such as these that hint at Tyrion being more than what his disability has limited him to. A sincere conversation with Jon gives him the sight of Tyrion's magnanimity- he tells Jon to wear the hurt as an armour, to not let the world get to him. Later he would also design Bran the saddle that would help him achieve at least a modicum of independence.

I think this is where the irony lies. Most people in the world of asoiaf has sight but not the vision. When Syrio tells Arya to not just look but see, truly see- he is telling Arya to go beyond what is being shown. And this theme of looking vs seeing continues into Tyrion's storyline. The tragedy in Tyrion's life is people look but they do not see. Tywin looks at his youngest son and is so blinded by his desire to have a perfect legacy ( a queen for a daughter, one of the best knights as a son), that he can't look past his son's disability. The great Tywin Lannister who boasts of being a dangerous politician, foolishly does not want to see that all that he desires in a heir has been handed to him in the form of Tyrion.

Funny then how a old, blind Targaryen, could realize the youngest Lannister as a leviathan. He likens him to "giants", the majestic race of whose tragedy Ygritte weeps about. And when the court at King's Landing jeers at Shae's use of "my giant of Lannister", they shame Tyrion and do not see that truly a giant walks among them. As breathtaking as the Titan Arya saw in Braavos.

Tyrion and his relation to Grrm's imagery of giants is not without substance. His knowledge, his cunning (using wildfire and his contribution in the war of Blackwater Bay), his wit ( demanding a trial by combat at Vale to escape the accusations), his ability to lead ( he made the mountain clans respect him), his grounded touch with reality (the peasants are starving while a prospeterous celebration of a wedding is being carried on), all are proof of his greatness.

Look I am not saying he is a good man ( no one in asoiaf is "good"...maybe not even my fave) ; but you cannot deny he is great.

I, very much believe that just as much Dany is the stallion who mounts the world, as Arya is the bitch from the seventh-hell, Tyrion too is the "Giant" of the asoiaf series. So large a being that he contains within him worlds; all granted to him through his own dedicated pursuit of knowledge, of perseverance.

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Thank you for asking for clarification! I do not believe that El has ANY ill-intentions. I'm not even sure if "controlling" is the right word! I believe that El has a way of getting what she wants regardless of others may think. While this is normally so so positive, such as yk not killing a man or going shopping, it also leaves her accidentally ignoring Mike's feelings sometimes, believing their wants are aligned and expecting him to act as such. I love El as a character, and recognizing her mistakes is a way that I've gained a better understanding of her.

Like I said, El's self-perception (am I worth anything if I'm not a hero? When I'm not saving somebody, am I still lovable? I dying feel like a person, even.) Is dependent on Mike right now, which contributes to El's tendency to black and white thinking.

I DEFINITELY think that Mike, particularly in ST3, falls farther onto the spectrum of a controlling partner. Things like "you can't have friends" and whatnot (yes ik he didn't say that outright) El's quote unquote "controlling" behavior is more subtle, one-off actions than a series of behaviors, but these actions still make a message in Mike's mind if not to us as the audience.

And realizing that in Mike's case he slay acted that way because of the way he was relying on El helped me with my own black and white view of Mike. He isn't a cut and dry manipulator like I had thought. Even though he had done something I REALLY REALLY didn't like, he still had reasons for it (unhealthy reasons, but yk still reasons)

The thing is- Mike and El are actually coming from the same place with this behavior!

Both of them are depending on the other for their self-perception. Wanting to be NEEDED by the other in order to know that they are "good", and any contradiction triggers emotions of self-hatred.

This means that Mike thinks he has to fill his "role" of El's boyfriend to be "doing enough", and that if El doesn't provide validation he thinks his fears are confirmed and that he's worthless. This creates the image of a "good relationship" in his mind, one where El is always relying on him. This is why he reacted strongly to El having a regular friendship with Max.

The same is true in El's mind. She is filling the role of "Mike's girlfriend"- one that she often takes more initiative in, might I add, but that's relevant later- and Mike has just one job- tell her that he is able to love her romantically as a person for who she is on the inside. In El's version of the perfect scenario, he represents her normalcy, she's like the girls on television.

El has a tendency to impose these ritualistic relationship landmarks on Mike in order to validate herself. Mike had done this in ST1 by surprise kissing El, but El also surprise kissed Mike in ST2. Both of them had the same reaction to being in the recieving end- Deer. In. Headlights.

However, this becomes more prevalent in- believe it or not- ST3! By the end milkvan has gotten back together. Mike has realized that- surprise surprise! Being an asshole is Bad! And expressed that, however ineffectually so.

El on the other hand, has gotten better suited to being an individual! Good for her! But as we later see in ST4, she very much so relies on her relationship. At this point, Mike has confessed that he loves El! Assuming that this is romantic love, as El does, that still doesn't necessarily mean that he's ready to have that full conversation with El- he even surprised himself saying it. He isn't just a boyfriend npc who has reached the In Love milestone and who now really profess this to El.

Granted, El might not realize how unprepared he feels given her having likely only partially heard the convo. However, when posed with this idea *by* El, Mike clearly feels nervous still. He just doesn't want to say it. Regardless of a single statement's veracity, Mike isn't prepared for a convo about love, to put himself on the line like that under pressure, or for his relationship to change yet if that's what El wants.

El has given him three whole months to perform his chivalrous deed, and here El is, in her mind, having to fucking prompt him. But it matters not, he's playing his role right. "Boys act nervous when they love you, which means Mike loves me!" So she kisses him again-

Deer in fucking headlights.

Then ST4. El decides that she and Mike get a day to themselves! Oh and Will. To be honest, this particular interaction is more due to ignorance- given how lithe Mike El and Will have ever actually been in the same room all at once before, I'm not sure if she knows that Mike and Will ever spend time together, and part of that ignorance is Mike's fault, but that's another post.

their infamous fight. El pretty blatantly disregards Mike's feelings on bullies. I totally get that this was in part because Mike was coming off as dismissive when he said that as well. But it also highlights that she expects him to be there and meet her emotional needs, and isn't going to hear him out.

While needing some of your own Vent Time before hearing someone out is fine, Mike takes this to heart and it still has a similar effect on him as other actions.

I'm not sure if El realizes yet the extent to which Mike relies on her, and by extension, how much her actions have had on him. But she does know that her own reliance on Mike has caused her to feel desperate. To ask for reassurance she should be giving to herself and which he hasn't given.

I've definitely known people who impose their idea of a perfect relationship (not just romantic ones) onto others, and it comes from a place of fear. It doesn't mean that there isn't any love or that they're a generally controlling person or anything, but it still hurts kind of insidiously.

I loved your Lost Sister take! That particular moment wasn't one I had specifically considered and I'm glad you brought it up! <2

I know that El doesn't really know WHO she is- but I also feel that many people take that information and, in their interpretations of her, rob El of her agency!

El has always been adamant about what she wants and how she wants to get it, be it running off or asking for help (some fans take her asking Max for help as her not being independent?? Shut up jeez!) or being very confrontational about it.

Even in ST1- El is listening to Mike explain his plan to tell Karen about her and El, a supposed helpless doll, tells Mike NO. No hesitation! Not to mention that she, from what we see, defied Brenner even while in the lab (seemingly frequently imo) after her siblings' deaths.

El is able to collaborate and she's quiet and she isn't sure who exactly she is and her self esteem has historically relied on extensive validation- but that has never stopped her from being rebellious and outspoken and trying to take control of the situation.

And one last only semi-related thing-- El now is learning not to rely on Mike and she's learned that she doesn't have to. El will break up with Mike because she doesn't like the person she became in that relationship, the way it fucked up her self-esteem to the point of being controlling and of constantly questioning herself. She will choose who she wants to be alone because she at the very least always (since she was eight) known she has a choice.

i agree with most of this take but i'm curious, how is el controlling?