#Sarah’s writing

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

KIDS KIDS KIDS

Taylor checks her phone with a smirk on her face. She’s out of breath, her legs as shaky as always when she comes right off stage. She’s sweating, now more than she was while dancing and singing. A normal reaction by her body which she’s gotten used to by now. Every time, it’s almost as if her body is only just realizing how much work she’s put in once it’s over. Once she gets to relax. It’s insane how exhausting these past three and a half hours really were, but it’s become even more amazing to see that she’s strong enough. Strong enough for all of it.

Taylor giggles once, rather loudly this time, causing her dad to be curious, too.

“What are you laughing at?”

Standing in her dressing room with her parents, she can’t stop smiling at the picture Travis just sent her two hours ago.

“Oh look at them.” Andrea now also laughs while looking at Taylor’s phone screen. She’s holding it up to give both her parents a good view and it certainly doesn’t disappoint any of them. Travis has taken a selfie of himself and his four year old niece, who’s sitting comfortably on her first class airplane bed, orange juice in the plastic champagne cup, a big smile on her face whilst uncle Travy is wearing her beloved dinosaur shaped plastic glasses. This girl loves to force her clothes and toys on her uncle and Taylor adores with every inch of her being how much he just lets her do anything and everything to him.

“Oh look at her with her orange juice.” Scott is laughing now, Taylor already giving her mom a look she knows too well. Her daughter’s heart is slowly but surely exploding from seeing the man she’s in love with so attentive with his nieces. She can’t wait for the two of them to get here. Can’t wait to see for herself how he deals with the little girl. She knows how nervous he is to take Wyatt on this little trip. But in a way, Taylor knows she’s even more nervous than him. After all, there have been so many late night conversations about babies lately. About their future. Their values. Where they see their lives together in ten years.

She knows she wants to go this step with him. She knows that she wants him to be the father of her children. Him and no one else. But this week together with Wyatt will really be a test run, for the both of them, to see how they will deal with a child, especially when things get hectic. She’s only ever experienced him with his nieces during a family day in Philadelphia, for a maximum of three hours. But this time, it’ll be different. This time, he’s dealing with the little girl day and night for a total of four days before Jason and Kylie will join them in London to take over again. Truly the first time, that the two of them will have full responsibility for keeping a human being alive and happy.

“Do you think he’s getting any sleep on this flight?” Andrea just asks, almost as if she’s ready to answer her own question and Taylor laughs. She’s just replied to his picture with a pink heart, then places her phone on the little table by the side and shakes her head at her mom.

“I told him that booking a red eye flight with a toddler is a bad idea. Like.. worst idea ever.” she says, can already imagine how tired and whiny the little girl will be.

“Well, we’ll keep them up tomorrow. At least she’ll sleep good after.”

Taylor nods, hoping to get any sleep in the next four days. But there’s still a smile creeping up on her sweaty face. She can’t wait for the two to get here. Can’t wait to spend more time with Wyatt and Travis. After all, she will be part of their family soon. And in a way, that makes Wyatt her little niece, too. With a smile on her face still, Taylor takes another sip of her water bottle. She’s ready to go back to her Parisian hotel suite and call it a day. Finally.

~

With her hair open and all over the place, she gets up quickly. Her heart is beating fast. She feels dizzy from having gotten up so fast, faster than she should, but she’s way too excited to just stay in bed now. Barefoot, she opens the curtains of her suite a tiny bit, the sky still gray but the sun comes slowly creeping out behind the thin clouds. After all, the weather has been forecasted to be absolutely stunning today. A beautiful summer day. She cannot wait. With her sleeping shorts and her favorite chiefs t-shirt, she checks her phone again, nervously biting her lip as she sees that his location icon and hers are truly closer than close now. She feels her stomach exploding. They’re here. It’s 6am and they’re here.

Just when his latest text comes through is when Taylor can hear a knock on the door. She immediately gets up to open the hotel suite door, smiling ear to ear at what she sees. Brandon from her security team just smiles at her and nods. Travis right behind him, a toddler fully asleep over his shoulder, hanging from him as limp as if she’s dead. He’s not just got his own backpack hanging from the other shoulder together with a tiny pink backpack full of dinosaurs but also pulls a huge suitcase behind him. Taylor can’t help but giggle. He looks exactly as worn out as she expected him to be. Travis then walks in, immediately whispering at her to signal Taylor that they need to be quiet.

“She just fell asleep in the car, I think she needs at few more hours.”

Taylor immediately nods, has already taken the rolling suitcase from him. She thanks Brandon with a smile, quietly closes the big hotel room door, trying not to wake the sleeping child. She places his big hard shell suitcase by the wall, then watches adorably as Travis places the little sleepy girl on the small children’s bed that the hotel has arranged for her at the end of the room. Taylor immediately steps up, helps Travis by taking off her sneakers and proceeds to pull the little blanket up to cover the small body. Travis just drops both backpacks on the floor, lets out an exhausted breath. He can’t wait a second longer, just smiles at the sleepy woman in front of him, shakes his head in anticipation. Oh how long he’s waited for this moment. She immediately giggles quietly, falls into his arms and kisses him. She can feel him sighing into her kiss, his tired body immediately relaxing just by the proximity to her. His big arms are swung tightly about her torso and her hands are securely on his stubbly cheek.

“You have no idea how good it is to see you, baby girl.” he whispers in between the kisses and she just giggles quietly, clearly trying to contain her excitement to not wake up Wyatt right next to them.

“I’ve missed you so much, you have no idea.” she mumbles, their faces still so close that their noses are touching. He smiles, not saying anything, just taking a good moment to look at her. The smile on his face says it all. He’s absolutely and inevitably in love with her. And she loves to feel it with every fiber of her being.

“Did you get any sleep on the flight?”

He shakes his head, tiredly letting his forehead drop onto her left shoulder.

“She was so excited to see Paris and be on a plane. I think she fell asleep thirty minutes before landing.”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. You both must be exhausted.” she says, gently scruffing the stubbly hair in his neck. He doesn’t react and she just turns her head to place a little kiss on his skin.

“Let’s sleep a couple more hours. Will be good for the both of you.” Taylor whispers and he nods, only slowly letting go of her.

“I’ll send a picture of the sleeping beauty to Jason and Ky, I think they’re still up terrified that I lost their baby somewhere in Paris.” he mumbles, already taking a picture with his phone of Wyatt in her little bed. Taylor smiles, especially because she can definitely envision the both parents dying a thousand deaths while Travis is in charge of their eldest daughter. But Taylor also knows that this is one of the biggest declarations of love and trust that Travis has ever received from his big brother. And that’s why he’s been so nervous about this trip. That’s why he’d do anything to make this trip nothing but magical and memorable for little Wy.

“Yeah let them know you both made it safely here and tell Jason and Kylie I’m taking care of the two of you now, so no need to worry.” she jokes and Travis shakes his head pretending to be mad.

“The truth is, that might actually soothe them.” he laughs and so does Taylor. She just shakes her head, can’t help but hug his arm once more. She’s missed him. Oh god, how much she’s missed him.

“Stop it. You’re an incredible uncle. They trust you deeply, that’s why they sent their toddler across the world with you alone.”

Travis nods, yawns once more, and proceeds to get rid of his sweatshirt. She can tell, he’s definitely too tired for these types of conversations now.

“Shall we go back to bed?”

He nods, stealing her cheek one last kiss before walking past her into the big bathroom. Of course they gave Taylor the most luxurious hotel suite he’s ever seen. He didn’t expect anything less.

“Wow this is nice.”

“I know, right? It’s insane.” she says, and he yawns some more.

“Want to set a timer for like… eleven? I’ll just jump into the shower and then come back to bed, okay?”

She nods, more than happy to get a few hours of sleep herself now.

“Okay. Do you need anything? Water?”

He smiles at her standing in the door frame to the bathroom, just takes off his sweat pants and shakes his head.

“I’m good, baby. Go back to bed. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

She nods, closes the door gently and takes a few steps back to Wyatt’s little bed at the end of her bedroom. She’s fast asleep, her little hand moving once. She must be dreaming. And Taylor can’t help but smile at her. She looks just like her father. Those Kelce genes seem to be strong in the family. She’s also got the same eyebrows as Travis. Taylor gently strokes over the little girl’s hair once, then makes her way back to her own bed. She quickly closes the curtains so that the room is dark again. She sets her timer for 11am, thankful for the almost four hours of sleep ahead. A few seconds later, she feels herself get sleepy again, moves to turn around in her big and comfortable bed as soon as she feels the big man crawling under the sheets right next to her. He doesn’t say anything, just smiles, opening his arms for her to crawl into. Within a few seconds, Taylor has wrapped both her arms around him, kissing him gently a few times. She loves to be so close again. Finally, after what feels like eternity. And she can’t wait for the next days to come. She can’t wait to kick off a wonderful summer in Europe together with her favorite person.

“I love you so much, sweetheart.” he mumbles onto her lips, and she smiles into one of their kisses, just nodding happily.

“I love you, uncle Trav.”

[usefulquotes7]

[sleepy-penmarks]

i hope my lips give me the forgiveness my heart could not spare for you.

[feral-ballad]

Sarah Lindsay, from Primate Behavior: Poems; “Legend of the Woolly Mammoth”

[Text ID: “But how you have changed me, / how you will always have changed me.”]

[thoughtkick]

Just because you can feel another person’s emotions doesn’t make you responsible for them.

Sarah Brooke

[mayanneaa]

hits different - ᴊᴊ ᴍᴀʏʙᴀɴᴋ.

PAIRING : jj maybank x ex!reader

SUMMARY : jj broke up with you two months ago, but this one party makes him truly realize what he’s done.

WARNING(S) : swearing, jealous and super drunk jj, a little angst, fluff, minimal use of y/n (like once), might have some grammar errors, english is not my first language

A/N : first fic on here heheh obv inspired by 'hits different' by taylor swift. i recommend listening to it while reading :) dividers by @roseraris !! not proofread dont kill me

WC : 1.7k

masterlist.

After a fourth beer, the party got too loud and the lights too bright. Normally, in a moment like this, he would run to you, wrap his arms around you, and inhale your sweet, calming scent. Just as he’s about to do it, the realization hits him like one of the waves nearby.

You aren’t together anymore.

He sharply inhales and looks around. His vision is softly spinning, but it’s no problem for him. JJ spots you in a second. With another boy.

You two are just talking. You don’t even know this guy, he came up to you to ask about something so random it got lost in your chat long ago. You give him one of those kind smiles, and JJ feels his fists clench. “Fuck.”

The music changes. As if he wasn’t already miserable, the speakers let out the first notes of your song. The one he first kissed you to. The one you two always played, alone at the chateau dancing on the back porch.

The memories flood his mind, and he can’t take it anymore. Jj feels his heartbeat loud in his ears, and he wants to leave. To go to any of the pogues, or, even better, drive away in the Twinkie. But his eyes cannot move from your face, and his legs just don’t work.

It baffles him. Not once in his life, he couldn’t move on. But this time, with you, it's different. It hits different.

You finally catch him. The guy is still talking to you, but your attention is on the other side of the beach. Before you can interrupt, you see John B. coming up to JJ. He tells him something, grabs his arm, and leads his best friend somewhere. You feel your heart sink. “Are you okay?” you hear the guy ask, making you turn your head.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go,” you quickly say, leaving him alone. You have to find JJ.

“Dude, stop this shit right now,” John B.’s holding the steering wheel, making his way to the Chateau. JJ's taken the passenger seat, shoulders slumped, and he runs his hand through the blonde strands.

"Yeah, easy for you to talk." he snarls, "You and Sarah are all happy together, you don't know how it's like-"

"I don't know because I don't just randomly break up with my girl over a bad day I had." John B. cuts him off and lets out a deep sigh. "JJ, you should talk to her. Everyone's done. You are constantly miserable."

JJ doesn't say anything. The words hit him like a slap, unnecessarily hurtful. Outside the window he sees the familiar place - they are at the Chateau.

"Get some rest, okay?" John B opens the door and helps JJ get in the house. "Call me in case something happens."

The blonde nods his head and plops on the couch, legs stretched out. Minutes pass, and he finds himself whispering your name, over and over again, as if he's scared he'll forget it.

His mind still replays that cold May night.

You two agreed to meet at the dock. The wind softly overflowed your face as you were waiting for him. When he finally came, you felt something was wrong. His usual smile was gone, and he didn't even look at you. You hugged yourself in your hoodie, "JJ? Is everything alright?"

He let out a shaky breath, leaning over the railings. "I think we should break up."

You blinked in surprise, your heart feeling heavy. "What?"

Your voice sounded smaller than you intended. You reached out for his hand, your own shaking.

"It will be better for both of us." JJ dismissively said, swallowing hard. A shiver ran down his body, and his throat tightened, but he brushed it off.

You felt so much hitting you. Tears burned under your eyelids, and anger started to bubble up. Did you do something? Or maybe he just decided you weren't good enough for him anymore?

"No," you whispered at first, but your voice was growing louder, "You don't get to just... just decide on my behalf!"

The moonlight fell on his face, and you tried to find any answers in his eyes. He stiffened, shaking his head before he repeated, "It will be better if we end it now."

You opened your mouth, but not a word came out. The tears threatening to fall finally flooded your face, a quiet scoff escaping your lips. "I can't believe this. This is how much it meant for you?"

You were met with silence. The atmosphere on the dock could be cut with a knife, and you couldn't just stand here. Before you registered it, your legs led you down, far from your boy- well... ex-boyfriend. JJ's eyes followed your every step. He wanted to run after you, to wrap you in his arms and never let you go. But he didn't.

It wasn't just a one-day whim he had. It stuck with him ever since you two decided to make it official. It grew with every late night you spent not on something you like, but on cleaning him up after another fight. You didn’t say anything—but he knew. He knew that sooner or later, it will be too much. He will be too much to handle.

The sweetest girl walking on the earth, a literal angel and him. A failure, a Pogue whose fate it was to end up just like his father—always drunk, always angry.

His heart ached at this thought. You had so many opportunities, and if you decided to let it go because of him, he would never forgive himself.

Breaking up before he got even more attached was for the better. It had to be. Right?

JJ doesn’t know how long he’s been lying like this. His breathing is now steady and slow, and he has to remind himself to breath in again.

He closes his eyes, but can’t escape you. The memories come fast—not giving him much time for defense.

Your face. Always in the sun, glowing as if you were a goddess. The lips glossed from the cherries you’ve been eating. Your eyes, the creases forming in the corners almost constantly from smiling.

Your touch. All these quick brushes, the way you traced your soft fingertips over his forearm every time you sat nearby. The long, tight hugs during which JJ’s hands wrapped your waist, him hungrily inhaling your perfume.

His breath hitches. Is it truly the best this way?

Before he can answer, the quiet crack of a key opens the door. He darts up and immediately regrets it, as the whole room starts spinning.

“JJ?” he hears a soft whisper, and his heart skips a beat.

The warm lights of the Chateau reveal your face. He feels the heat rising to his cheeks, “What are you doing here?”

His voice is quiet, almost as if he’s scared you’ll disappear. You step closer, with a cautiousness that kills something inside him. He avoids your gaze, staring at the suddenly interesting floor.

“You’re not doing great, huh?” you say, but there’s no mockery or anger in your voice. There’s just… worry.

JJ turns around on his heels and sits down on couch, fearing that if he stands for a minute longer, he might just fall. He runs a hand through his hair, a habit that intensified over the two months.

“Stop it, Y/N.” he finally replies looking at you for the first time. The light reflects of his watery eyes, and his voice breaks when he continues, “Go back to the party and your new stupid little boyfriend.”

Your eyes widen. “Are you fussing over me talking to a guy after you broke up with me?”

JJ shakes his head, looking at the floor again, “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore, I guess. You really should go—”

“Why did you end this?”

The question feels like an arrow through his heart. You’re standing with your hands crossed, not planning on going anywhere. “Why, J? We were happy. Did I do something…?”

“It wasn’t you.” In the response, he hears a snort.

Your gaze is heavy, with your eyebrows arched up. “Classic. Then what was it, JJ?” The tone of your voice is pushing, and you don’t even try to control it, “What happened that you decided to just leave me?”

“I was scared!” he snaps before he can think of anything better to say. “How do you imagine it? You… you can’t suffer with me forever. It’ll break you one day and—”

“JJ.”

The way you say his name pulls him out of the spiral. It slips off your tongue smoothly, just like it used to. You grip his arm, and JJ forgets what he was even talking about.

“You don’t get to make this decision without talking to me. Did you ever asked me how I feel about this?”

A blush creeps up on his cheeks, and whether you want it or not, the corners of your lips rise.

He tries to make any sense, the tears dangerously close to falling. “I mean— You deserve someone better. Someone who will keep you safe and… I’m not that person. And I don’t think I’ll ever be.”

You sigh. “Maybe. But I don’t want anyone better, baby. I want you. That’s my decision.”

With these words, with what you called him, his walls crash. You pull him closer, your bodies touching and he can’t take it anymore. JJ lets out a muffled sob into the crook of your neck, gripping you like he’s never letting you go.

Your fingers find their way up to his hair, running through the golden strands as he’s shaking.

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, his voice barely audible. “I’m so sorry. So sorry—”

“Shhh,” You draw small circles on his back, and his breath slows down after some time. “We will talk about it tomorrow, ’kay? You’re super drunk right now.”

“Promise you won’t leave.” JJ sniffles, the tip of his nose pink. You giggle, but he pulls away to look at you, a serious expression on his face. “I’m not joking! Promise me you’ll still be here in the morning. Please.”

You gently squeeze his shaking hand and can’t help but smile. “I promise.”

[lesbicosmos]

when hozier said "if im a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight" and when hozier said "no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her" and when hozier said "i slithered here from eden just to sit outside your door" and when hozier said "heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i" and when hozier said-

[resqectable]

Some people don’t know how to fall in love, like not knowing how to swim. They panic first when they jump in. Then they figure it out.

Sarah Addison Allen

[thelov3lybookworm]

Flicker Out

Summary: Azriel's chest becomes hollow, and the place where once love bloomed, only emptiness remained.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1950

Warnings: angst, angst, death (but she comes back) az in agony, a lil bit of me being poetic ofc 🤭 did i mention angst? oh and more angst and angst

A/n: based on this request by an anon. i adore this request and it was litterally one of my fav ones to write. i just couldnt stop writing once i started tbh 🥹

(@potatoplace this is the fic i mentioned hehehe 🤭😏)

anyways, enjoyyy🥹🤭

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

There was almost nothing that could distract Azriel when he was locked in battle. He could not afford to let his mind stray from plotting the next defence, the next manoeuvre, the next attack. It was almost similar to a dance, except he did not know the song and hated his partner, and he also had to be mindful of anyone who might attack him while he was focused on this waltz between life and death.

The soldier whose sword had come within an inch of Azriel’s throat- only the second one since the battle began, unsurprisingly- sneered at Azriel, his teeth stained red and almost half of his face slashed by a vicious stab wound.

Azriel almost pitied the male. Almost. And only because he knew a thing or two about having untreatable scars after escaping the clutches of death.

Still, Azriel heaved his whole body weight against his sword forcing the soldier to yield a step. Azriel’s eyes moved quickly, searching for places the soldier might have left open for him to attack, and gleefully, Azriel noted that his ribs were open. His armour seemed to have chipped off in a corner, and seemed a size entirely too big.

That’s stupid, but good for me.

Azriel moved his blade away from his opponents, swiftly bringing it down to the side of his ribs. The blade had almost touched the male’s unarmoured body when Azriel faltered.

Too empty.

Void.

How?

Azriel breathed in, his eyes losing their focus before a sharp sting brought his attention to the dagger that now seemed to have befriended the skin and bones of his thigh. He looked up, feeling the blood drain from the wound on his thigh- though the concern was in the back of his mind- and his heart. The place where constant love from his mate flowed, a gaping wound had appeared. That hurt more than any fatal wound to his body could.

How?

Azriel did not see nor hear anything around him, his consciousness too busy scrambling to figure out why he could no longer feel her. But it was the warrior instincts in him that his peers had drilled into him, making him instinctively raise his sword, eyes slowly moving to meet the spooked gaze of his enemy, and within the moment, those same eyes stared up at the open, vast sky, unseeing and unfeeling.

But Azriel was already bolting towards where he had felt the last pump of love coming from, and nothing and no one, even the mother, could have stopped him from cutting through the soldiers trying to get in his way as smoothly and viciously as a hot knife cut through butter.

Y/n. Please.

Azriel’s chest heaved, tiny needles stinging his sides and the muscles in his thigh protesting, but still, he ran. Ran towards his love, the one he doubted but refused to admit was…

Gone.

Azriel spread his wings, despite knowing it would just drain his energy faster. He could not walk through his shadows either. They were tired too. Running took too much out of him, and flying would take him to her faster, even if it hurt his muscles and wounded wings.

Please. Just please stay.

From the height his wings took him to, he looked around, and then leaned forward, gliding through the air and riding the breeze that took him closer to where his mate was.

The first thing he saw was a small crowd of his family members. Mainly, Rhys, Feyre and Cassian. The second thing he saw as he touched the ground was the cauldron.

And then…

Y/n.

She lay motionless on the ground, staring up at the sky.

And in that moment, Azriel didn’t care that Rhys stood over his sister’s body, crying. Azriel did not care that his family members who did not know of his relationship with Y/n stared at him wide eyed as he pushed them away from her.

He simply dropped to his knees, his thigh protesting. But he gently grabbed Y/n’s cold hand, his own scarred ones shaking and covered in blood. He let loose a ragged breath, eyes filling up with water as he stared into the empty gaze of his beloved.

He screamed.

A loud, wordless scream ripped from his chest, the sheer pain and longing and regret echoing through the battlefield, even worlds not his own. His heart no longer beat in that familiar, unnoticeable rhythm people come to ignore most of the time, instead beating like a wardrum.

Hollow and empty, but still too loud for him to not hear.

Where once love bloomed, only sadness and pain remained, and Azriel continued screaming.

When he could no longer scream, he weeped.

He let his forehead rest on his mate’s chest, and he wept. Deep, sorrowful sobs ripping from his throats. They were as deep and powerful and soft as his love for his mate.

And when he couldn’t weep, he whimpered. Sorry, quiet whimpers resembling the silence and lack of warmth in his body and the bond that had once tied the bridge between two souls. The sounds escaping him were low, almost silent, but they were just as loud and impactful as his silent love for Y/n when they could not afford to love freely and loudly.

Azriel’s shadows had regained enough of their power to brush against his ears, his hair and shoulder like Y/n’s hands had once touched him, gentle and soothing and calming.

But there was no calming now, for the storm rising from the shattered pieces of his heart would no longer let him live in peace.

The only peace for him now was death and burial with his beloved.

"Az." The unmistakable shakiness in Rhysand’s voice made Azriel raise his head and meet the sorrowful eyes on his friend.

Azriel said nothing, only letting his eyes wander and take in the crowd that had only grown bigger since he had arrived. The high lords, all seven of them, stared down at him, some with tears in their eyes, like Rhysand, Helion and Tarquin. Some with empathy and pity, like Thesan and Kallias. And then some with quiet sadness and understanding, like Tamlin and Beron.

Under other circumstances, Azriel would have wondered why Beron looked like he knew and had been through what Azriel was experiencing, but in the moment as he tightened his grip around his mate’s hand and curled closer to her cooling body, he could not care less.

"Az," Rhys repeated. "What are you doing?"

But Rhys looked like he already knew what Azriel was doing. So Azriel said nothing, just let his forehead go back to resting on her shoulder.

Muffled words surrounded Azriel, but he heard none of them as he focused on somehow reaching his mate. There must be some way, some sort of… connection to bring her back. Maybe her lingering soul.

Something, anything.

Moments later, Azriel felt a familiar hand grip his shoulder. Despite his lack of will to look at the person, he lifted his head slightly to meet Cassian’s gaze.

"Move back, they’re trying to bring her back."

Azriel stared at Cassian, the words looping in his head for a moment before he could truly process them, then he nodded and scooted back. It was almost unrealistic, but still, Azriel was a drowning male and the hope a wood plank that he latched on without thought.

Azriel watched as Rhysand stepped forward and lifted his hand, staring at it for a moment, tears rolling down his cheeks before he turned his hand, a drop of moonlight dropping straight onto Y/n’s chest.

All the high lords took turns repeating the action one after another, and Azriel watched numbly, still on his knees on the ground, refusing to lose hope but at the same time forcing himself to not hope.

At last, Tamlin stepped away from Y/n’s body, and Azriel leaned forward, his eyes wide as he waited for that feeling to take root in his chest again, the one he had cherished for the past ten years.

But nothing happened for a long moment, and the flame of hope that had begun warming his insides began to flicker out.

"Rhys." Azriel mumbled, his voice cracking. "What happened? Why is she not…"

"Oh Az." Cassian whispered, wrapping an arm around Azriel’s shoulder from the back.

Azriel just stared at her. "Why?"

Long moments passed, and then…

There.

Life.

Just life, pure and untainted, began glowing at the end of the bond, and Azriel laughed.

He laughed, tears pouring from his eyes.

"Az?"

It took Azriel a while to form the two words he uttered, the smile on his face making it impossible to speak.

"She’s back."

Azriel felt Rhysand’s gaze on him, but after Y/n’s eyes slid closed, his gaze was ripped away.

Then Y/n opened her eyes again, blinking twice before her eyes found Azriel’s, unprompted and instinctive.

"Hey." She whispered, and Azriel laughed again. He leaped forward and tackled her into a hug, his hands shaking worse than they had before.

"Hey." He whispered in her ear, and she giggled, patting his back before she stopped suddenly.

"Az… Rhys."

Azriel pulled away, glancing up. He did not care about what Rhys might do to him anymore, considering he had very nearly lost his mate without even having the chance to scream and proclaim his love for her from the tops of Velaris’s mountains like he had sworn to her he would one day. Rhys’s wrath was the least of his worries.

Everyone who was not a part of the inner circle had departed while Azriel had been busy breathing in the fact that Y/n was alive, that she was here. Rhysand stood with his arms folded against his chest, in that protective stance every brother had when it came to their sisters.

But there was that slight tilt to the corner of his lips, a happiness in his stern eyes.

Azriel could not tell if it was because of Y/n being alive or something else.

"Uh…" Y/n mumbled, sitting up. "Hey, Rhys."

He sighed, rubbing his brows as Azriel helped Y/n stand. He quietly stepped forward and gathered his little sister in his arms, holding her close to his heart as Azriel watched, his chest feeling full again.

Though a certain hollowness lingered, and Azriel almost knew it would follow him around like the ghost of his past.

Rhysand pulled away, holding the back of Y/n’s head.

"I don’t know what you two have been up to, and frankly, I don’t think I even want to know, but I will not interfere. When you’re ready, I want to know everything." He glanced at Azriel, the single glance telling Azriel he would have been ten feet under ground by now if his sister was not watching.

Azriel dipped his head, gaze moving back to Y/n. She smiled at him, reaching out to take his hands.

Rhys turned to Feyre, taking her hand too. "Freshen up, rest. Then we’ll talk."

Cassian was already gone, left to find Nesta by the time Rhys winnowed Feyre away. Azriel turned fully to Y/n then.

"Don’t you dare do that again."

She giggled, grabbing his collar and pulling him down. She pecked his cheek, then turned her head to rest it against his chest as he lifted his arms in a practised motion to hold her close.

"Will try."

He pinched her waist, making her squeal. He savoured the simplicity of the moment before pecking the crown of her head.

"I love you, Y/n."

The bond flickered.

And stayed.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[mournfulroses]

Sarah Kane, from The Complete Plays of Sarah Kane; "Cleansed," first performed in 1998

[derangedrhythms]

Of course she comes alive in this house of death.

Sarah Krasnostein, from 'The Trauma Cleaner: One Woman's Extraordinary Life in the Business of Death, Decay, and Disaster'

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

Swifties, you won’t believe it but I’m sitting in the sun with an iced coffee, feeling inspired to write a blurb ✍️ send me ideas 💡

[akajustmerry]

She cried for other reasons too — that the “Succession” chapter of her life has ended. “I’ll never have an opportunity to speak those lines, or get given new lines, new jokes, new worlds for Shiv and Roman to exist in together,” Snook says. “Just sadness for never getting a moment to play with these brilliant actors again.” (When I tell her that Culkin had said to me that perhaps Shiv and Roman might make up at some point, Snook brightens. “I feel like Shiv and Roman would reconcile in a way where he would be the shitty but great weird uncle for her kid, and there might be some sort of strange little family unit that gets splintered off.”) - Sarah Snook, Variety.

Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy and Sarah Snook as Shiv Roy | Succession (2018-2023)

[asoftepiloguemylove]

"IF ONLY SOME PEOPLE CAN HAVE IT, THAT'S NOT HAPPINESS. THAT'S JUST NONSENSE. HAPPINESS IS SOMETHING ANYONE CAN HAVE."

pinterest // 怪物 Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda // Hozier Shrike // Samson Regina Spektor // 怪物 Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda // @tordenvejr // pinterst // 怪物 Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda // Louise Glück The Triumph of Achilles // Natalie Wee Our Bodies & Other Fine Machines // pinterest // 怪物 Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda // Phoebe Bridgers Punisher // pinterest // Sarah Ruhl Eurydice // 怪物 Monster (2023) dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda // pinterest

[okay-gayass]

"All you can give me now is something that I don't need!"

[thoughtkick]

Just because you can feel another person’s emotions doesn’t make you responsible for them.

Sarah Brooke