#Sam telling him he's proud of him and knows he'll keep them safe

[thewanderingace]

Jamie and Claire saying goodbye to Roger

Outlander 7x02

[hwangjins00]

Johnny Lawrence and the self-fulfilling prophecy

so i've been thinking about this for a while and also because s6p1 just came out but i think that johnny is one of the best examples of a self-fulfilling prophecy in ck.

SO we've seen multiple times that johnny's been told he ruins people, by danial, robby, shannon, and carmen, even terry. And i'm not gonna disregard his actions, i agree that he has done a lot of stuff that negatively affected himself and those around him, not limited to becoming a functioning alcoholic, teaching kids aggression, drunk fights, being an absentee father, etc

BUT we also see him try a lot of times to get his act together and do better for the people around him, such as teaching miguel mercy, cleaning up his apartment and trying to limit drinking for carmen, and trying to get along with daniel for the sake of his students, but he's still criticized even for trying his best, the only character to consistently have been on his side through his highs and lows has been miguel.

out of all the characters the one who refuses to see johnny's change the most is probably daniel, and this is NOT a daniel hate post, i love daniel and he's one of my favourite kk and ck characters but that doesn't disregard the fact that he tends to have knee-jerk reactions and gets unbalanced easily when it comes to johnny. A lot of the characterization in the show can be attributed to writing choices but i'm going to try my best to not make that my main focus.

alright lets start!

when johnny first opens up his dojo its partly because of the anger he feels towards daniel for succeeding in life but mainly because he doesn't want miguel to keep getting beat on and miguel probably reminds him of himself before he met kreese. Daniel is the one to come to johnny and tell him to close cobra kai and this is completely valid seeing as how daniel's experiences with cobra kai were in his youth, however its also been 30 years and its reasonable to assume that johnny isnt still a high school bully. He tells miguel that if he doesnt leave the dojo he'll end up 'just like' johnny. Right off the bat we have someone insinuating that johnny is a terrible role model. Then when daniel starts training robby and discovers robby's homelife he goes to talk to johnny just to immediately turn on him the second he sees kreese, he doesn't talk to johnny to clear up the situation and he doesn't tell him about his son, and yes johnny has been a shitty dad but he deserves to know that his kid is going to be living with someone else (i honestly thought it was crazy that daniel never mentioned that he had johnny's SON IN HIS HOUSE??)

when robby takes sam to johnny's apartment when she was drunk daniel literally kicked down his door and got into a physical fight with johnny because he couldn't believe that johnny was being considered a safe space for his son to bring his crush to in order to sober up and wouldn't listen to johnny rationally asking him to calm down. and S6 SPOILERS but i think that out of the two of them johnny was trying much harder to be accomodating to daniel, he gave up the name cobra kai and eagle fang for miyagi do, worked kata into his teaching and geniunely tried to not be so hard headed and quick to fight. He tried to get a job (daniel making him switch from using karate as a job was honestly crazy, that was literally how he was paying bills and putting food on the table, johnny asking to be paid for his time and effort wasnt an insane ask especially considering that daniel owns multiple dealerships and chozen comes from a rich family as well, johnny is the only one that actually needed the dojo as a way to make money) and just overall be there, im not saying hes a great dad right away but its obvious that he's trying to be there for both miguel and robby without making either one of the boys feeling forgotten. (ex, telling them both he's proud win or lose, tying robby's headband, listening to miguel's college essay)

HOWEVER, it seems that no matter what he does, johnny is almost never seen positively by anyone other than miguel and devon. daniel switches up on him instantly (he drops people at the first sight of their flaws, as soon as johnny takes even a single step backwards instead of acting rationally and looking at the situation + offering support he tells johnny he'll never change and drops him immediately, he did the same thing with robby and doing that to a teenager dependent on you for food and shelter is honestly crazy), carmen has been pretty much sidelined due to the baby (i have THOUGHTS on this), kreese is his only supporter and he was literally tripping balls and snapped hallucination johnny's neck like a stale breadstick so johnny doesnt really have much in the way of a good support system

now for those that have somehow stuck around lol lets get to the actual point (i realized here that i literally just blabbed for so long without making my point lmfao)

a self-fulfilling prophecy is essentially: you become what you are told. if i told you everyday that you will never amount to more than what you are right now, ive 'prophesied' your future and to self-fulfil it you would just stop trying because you know that nothing you do will ever change my mind.

in a similar vein i believe that deep down johnny DOES believe that no matter what he does or how hard he tries he'll never be able to move past the image of him thats already been made up in peoples minds (society for all it talks about rehabilitation does not tend to actually support those who want to rehabilitate- more thoughts below) and so he goes through a constant cycle of disappointing those around him again and again because no one believes he can be any better and he's internalized that, i honestly have soo many thoughts about johnny's character in kk1 and ck and i would love to chat with anyone interested about it

re: society and rehab

so people talk the good talk about how rehabilitation is important and necessary, in the show daniel is able to form good friendships with both chozen and mike who were arguably much worse than johnny was to him (chozen fought in a literal DEATH MATCH against him and mike harassed him, dangled him off a cliff, forced him to compete in a rigged match where he pretty much just whaled on him on the mat), why was daniel able to forgive these guys but not johnny? my theory is that its because to him chozen and mike have their lives together and have also properly apologized for their actions (JJ&H im still waiting on that johnny apology where we address the 'you're alright larusso' line) meanwhile johnny has obviously gone downhill since HS, but daniel never takes his attempts to get it together seriously and along with a lot of the toxic ideals put into him by kreese, johnny doesn't take his rehabilitation seriously either, he can't afford rehab for his alcohol dependency (plus rehab isnt viewed positively by him either) and he doesnt have a very steady support system so that makes it even more difficult. unlike daniel he's never had a positive father figure in his life which makes it difficult for him to act as a father without fear of becoming kreese, i just wish that the show would take johnny's journey to becoming the man he wants more seriously

[valriety]

I was wondering if maybe we could get the bachelor's (and bachelorettes' if you want) reactions to the reader coming out? GN pronouns are all good. Fluff would be preferred. :)

Thank you for taking the time to read this! I love your blog. :D

SDV: Bachelor Reactions To The Reader Coming Out HCs~!

Post Type: Fluff, SFW, Ambiguous Relationship. Characters: Sam, Elliot, Harvey, Alex, Shane, and Sebastian. GN Reader (You/Yours)

Anon I am so sorry for the wait!!! I hope this reaches you :D - they're a little short, but I made them extra fluffy just for u <3. Tried to make them ambiguous too, so lots of people can relate! I'll be posting the bachelorette version too eventually! I've actually already started hehe

'SDV: Bachelorette Reactions To The Reader Coming Out HCs~!' is in progress :)

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Sam:

Sam is literally so excited for you! He's extremely happy that you felt safe enough to tell him, and is immediately asking if he can pull you in for a hug *gives u a comforting squeeze*

If there's any changes in the way he should refer to you, you can count on this guy to be on it immediately. Doesn't mess up, and corrects anyone who does if you're cool with it too

If it's more about telling him about your sexuality, you can bet that he's all about that too. Will absolutely be your wingman, or lack thereof - if you prefer :)

Supports you if you want help coming out to anyone else as well! Very reassuring that everything will be alright, and he's totally happy to stand with you or hold your hand when you go ahead and do it too <3

The type to probably send u wholesome but chaotic lgbtq+ memes all the time lol

Elliot:

So proud of you. Truly. Elliot makes sure you've said everything you needed to say, before he lets you know just how happy he is to learn a little bit more about you <3. Elliot's love is unconditional, and he thinks you're lovely - no matter how you identify.

If your coming out is related to presentation: Elliot reiterates pronouns and referring terms with you immediately - he even makes an offer to trial names or pronouns with you if you're still unsure.

If it's about sexuality, he's super supportive, even recommending you literature with couples/individual characters that are just like you!

Asks if there's anything he can do to support you, and will do it, no matter what it is.

I reckon he's the type to gift cool shells he finds already, but now, he keeps an eye out for ones in your flag colours so he can make a little collection to give u :')

Harvey:

Another one that's super proud of you. Coming out is terrifying sometimes , so he completely understands if it was difficult telling him. Will give you a head pat if you'll let him!

If it's related to how you present, he makes sure to ask if you'd like his medical records at the clinic updated. Offers to discreetly inform Maru too, if that's something you'd like - though he wouldn't do anything without your permission :)

And if its related to your sexuality, he's very sweet there too!

Reassuring :'). If there's anything you need from him in terms of support - now or later - just know that he'll listen to you.

Harvey's a trinket collector, so he would absolutely pick up little things for you that remind him of you or your flags colours and gift them to you <3

Alex:

Honestly just thinks you're awesome - coming out takes a lot of courage - so he's happy he can be a good friend for you here. Gives you a high five!

Regardless of what you're coming out about - Alex is giving it the same supportive energy. Behind you all the way if you need help coming out to others, even if you just need someone to vent to - he's totally up for listening :)

If there's anything you're interested in concerning physique to look a certain way, Alex has a lot of experience with exercise and making workout plans - he can totally help you if you're interested!

Also there's no way in his friendship with Haley that he hasn't picked up on a few of her hobbies. This guy definitely offers to take you shopping - whether it be clothes, pride stuff, or even just a nice meal to celebrate! <3

Shane:

Shane doesn't normally like to cause a fuss, but there's no way he'd ever hide how happy he is for you when it comes to something like this.

If it's related to presentation, Shane is more than happy to start referring to you a certain way, or even help you start to try things out. Would actually be pretty keen to help you experiment with style if you were interested.

Makes sure to reassure you that this changes nothing with your friendship - you're a lovely friend, and he cares about you a lot honestly.

Understands that you might be a bit nervous after sharing something so big, so he offers to go on a walk with you, or to his chicken shed to just chill and talk :)

Sebastian:

Very supportive regardless of what you come out as. Probably would be so easy to come out to too - he's quiet, kind, and pretty receptive, so I could see him being able to ease your nerves very swiftly. Asks softly if you'd like a hug :)

If you come out about your presentation, Seb starts checking his language immediately - making sure to immediately practice any new names, terms, or pronouns you might have given him when he's alone in his room so that he never gets them wrong.

Offers to stand with you or help you come out to others - might even hold your hand if you ask! But goes above and beyond if you need help coming out to Sam or Abby - he knows them well after all, so he can be very reassuring.

If you happen to play Solarian Chronicles with him, Sebastian casually gifts you a set of themed dice (maybe in your flag colours, or even designed after your campaign character) <3

A/N: This was actually,, pretty cathartic. There's a few people in my life that I still need to come out to, so writing this was nice tbh :)

Lemme know if you enjoyed this! Again, I should be writing a bachelorette version soon - i want to write more regularly, so hopefully that'll be soon! ALSO, I tried to make these as inclusive as possible, but if you'd like to see something more specific - feel free to send a request! I'd be happy to write it for you!

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[msfbgraves]

So um, can we get a little scene with Daniel and Terry during his “Luna heat”? Daniel is described as looking and being extra lovely at this time. I bet Terry went even more insane than usual!

Insane or inspired, Nonnie?

Impossible.

It's completely impossible.

Yet Yasmin makes a determined little face.

“He told me to come get you,” she repeats, “because he was in heat!”

No time to explain that with six puppies, Mama already has two more pups than the average litter, so it must be something else – drugs?

“Is anybody else behaving differently, babygirl? Did you get a doctor?”

“Mama said to come get you,” she says, a little panicked at the mention of a doctor. “Sam's gone to get nonna -”

“Did she take -”

“Yes Daddy and I took Dutch, Eli and Bobby have gone for auntie Betsy and uncle John and Mama told me to -”

“Yasmin. Who is with Mama right now?”

“Snake and Dennis, but Daddy, hurry!”

None of these are physicians, but he trusts Lucille and Betsy to call for one regardless. No, he needs to find out who has breached security and tampered with his mate.

“You stay here with Dutch, baby,” he says. “Don't let him near the drink, tell Susan I said so. Uncle John will come get you soon.” Home is not a safe space for her right now. She looks pale, so he ruffles her head for one second before he grabs his hat and weapons. “You did good, baby. Keep making Daddy proud today, OK? I'm counting on you!”

He'll run. He knows it'll be faster than any mode of transport known to man.

What poisons simulate heats?!

He's home soon, drenched in a thin layer of sweat, and greeted by Betsy. “Where's John, darlin?”

“Oh, I sent him out,” she says, a half smile on her lips.

He can't harm John's mate, not even with his own in danger. “You what.”

“No Alphas here for miles, Terry, love.”

OK. There's clearly someone messing with the very air, so absolute priorities first. “Where's Daniel?”

“He's in your quiet room. It's still well stocked, but Lucille has gone for some groceries she couldn't bring.”

He's not convinced, but her sweet touch calms him even then. “Go in and take a breath, Terry.” Then she winks. “If I can smell it...!”

It's... gorgeous.

It's different, too, soothed, balanced, contained in a way, several familiar scents mixing into something harmonious-

And all his.

Indeed, he nearly chokes up when he sees what awaits him in the quiet room. Ten year old- Sammy holding her Mama's hand, Robby mopping his brow. He's seen Eli and Gianni, inseperable as ever, outside of the door somewhere. Curled up in Daniel's lap, not a care in the world, is Anthony. Daniel's eyes are closed; he can see him take calm, measured breaths – but Terry can smell the gush of slick, staining the soft bathrobe he's been wrapped in, no doubt.

His mate nudges Anthony. “Look who's here!”

Anthony lazily opens one eye, but then cuddles back in with his Mama. Sammy's worried brown unfurries, and he wraps her into his arms. It dulls some of the itch in him, too, and he kisses her forehead. “Well done, darlin',” he says. “You've taken care of Mama perfectly.” Robby joins her, and he strokes his hair. “Good boy, Robby, love,” he whispers. “Daddy's proud of you!”

“Come on, everyone!” he hears Lucille from the doorway, as Betsy comes in with some extra food, wipes, and heat pads for Daniel. “Nonna!” Anthony calls, and up he sits, paying Daddy absolutely no mind. Terry is happy to see Gianni and Eli already clutching Lucille's hand. “Is Mama going to be OK?” Eli says, looking to his grandmother, Terry and Daniel.

Daniel opens his arms. “Come here, caro,” he says, and Terry walks over to his mate as his other pups are herded outside. “Go and take care of your baby brother for Mama, OK? That would make me very happy.”

Terry wraps his arms around them both, and the heat smell increases. God, he's not going to hold out long. But Eli needs his cuddle, he can see that much. Daniel looks to him as Eli buries his face at his Mama's chest. “Yasmin?”

“She'll be at John and Betsy's,” he says, nodding to Betsy, and Daniel's face relaxes.

“Our brave girl!”

One more kiss for Eli, and even he lets go, takes Betsy's hand. Lucille can hardly contain her grin as she closes the door. Immediately, Daniel falls into his arms. “Terry! Sweet Terry.”

“Shhh, I'm here,” he says, and now the smell is stronger, pumping up his blood. He licks his mate's bitemark, the taste spicy-sweet.

“Ah, God! So good!” But Daniel cuddles in closer, strokes his mate's face. “Oh, Terry, you ran.”

“Yes, mo cuishle.” He kisses him. “My love!”

Daniel pushes him down into the cushions. “Sit, sit! You need a drink! My strong man -”

Terry grabs his hand. “Daniel -”

Daniel strokes his face. “You need to rest, yes -”

He can't believe he's saying this, but his mate looks so resplendent, soft black locks falling into his face, eyes shining and impossibly deep. Golden skin smooth and glowing, lips plump and shiny, but he looks so kind, so impossibly good –

Terry doesn't deserve him.

“My heart,” he says. “Daniel, my love...”

“Shhh,” his mate says, kissing his cheek, “calm now, make yourself comfortable...”

“No.” There's tears in his eyes when he says this. “Daniel, I shouldn't.”

He smiles, showing his adorable bunny teeth. “Why?”

“We have six pups,” he says. “It is too soon – you've only just grown so strong, so -” he grabs him anyway. “Oh, God, you're beautiful!”

More kisses. “And you -”

“No, Daniel,” he says. “You need a rest, your body needs – you deserve... I – it would hurt...”

“No,” and now Daniel kisses him, strokes his face as if he were a mere pup, and has he ever done this, has he ever been this overwhelmingly soft –

“I miss you,” his mate whispers in his ear, and he looks up in disbelief. Daniel kisses him. “Oh, Terry. All these years... I didn't even know what it was. But this ache...”

“You're hurt?”

“In Sicily,” he whispers, breathless. “I thought that I felt my soul, and I lacked my pups, and then you were back, and our little firecracker grew inside me, close to my heart. And I healed, and then our pup was in my arms, and at my breast, and I was well -”

He rubs Daniel's back, kisses his cheek. “And you grew so beautiful -”

“I miss you inside me,” Daniel says. “Oh, sweet Alpha, all these years, you were in my body or my arms at all times... I've been so lonely...”

“Danny – my Danny boy – ” The sense that his sweet mate could miss him like that, it won't do, and it goes to his head completely. “If I'd known -”

“I didn't either,” Daniel says, and his cheeks are wet, and if Terry somehow is on drugs he couldn't be more OK with it. “ But Terry, I need... Please fill me...”

“Blood of my heart,” Terry whispers, delirious, as he undoes the bathrobe and kisses his neck. “Light... light of my soul...”

And they share kisses sweet as wine, sighs as soft as paradise.

[transpidergwen]

highkey forgot to keep up with this but let's see what I can remember from the last 10 days.

Episode 8: Sine Qua Non

the culprit: "I can't live without her."

Episode 9: The Hub

the culprit: the attack on the Hub the other culprit: Roslin's vision of Adama by her deathbed, putting his ring on her finger. their accomplice: Adama seeing the baseship jump in, and his reunion with Roslin.

Episode 11: Sometimes A Great Notion

the culprit: Lee and Bill in the morgue: "Why did she do it?" "I don't frakking know!" followed up by: "What did you do?"

Episode 17: Someone to Watch Over Me

the culprit: Kara playing the piano with her father

Episode 18: Islanded in a Stream of Stars

the culprit: Adama's breakdown in his quarters when he realizes the Galactica really is dying, and so is Roslin.

Episode 19-21: Daybreak

the culprits (there are many here among us):

Roslin crossing the line, choosing to spend the precious hours she has left helping in whatever way she can. Caprica Six telling Baltar she always wanted to be proud of him, and their kiss. The two people most directly responsible the near extinction of humanity, yet even through that act they still fell in love, and remained in love, after everything. Their love ended the world, and their love saves it. Now it's rather pointless to single out any one moment after this that made me cry because it's pretty much constant for the next hour, but we're gonna go through them anyway because I love this finale and it reaches some of the most intensely emotional moments I've ever seen. So! The opera house sequence. The frak when your destiny comes true. The frak when your destiny was to help a scared child in a moment of terror, to comfort her and protect her and guide her to safety in the middle of a war. The frak when you lived a selfish and self centered life but you were in the right place at the right time, and you performed one selfless act in the moment when it mattered most. The frak when you seduced a man to annihilate his people, but fell in love with him anyway, and then the two of you assured the survival of both your people. The frak when the first thing we saw Caprica do was kill an infant child to spare it from the destruction to come at the hands of the "children of humanity," and then over the course of her journey she came to realize that she was wrong, that children are the only hope for the future, and then she picks up a scared little girl and keeps her safe from the Cylons that would do her harm and saves humanity's future. Starbuck inputting the coordinates. The frak when your destiny comes true, part two! The frak when everything you went through was leading you to this moment. The frak when you find humanity's new home. Kara saying goodbye to Sam. The frak when he crossed the universe to find you. The frak when you were the hardest person to love because you kept on hurting him and he loved you anyway, and now he'll see you on the other side. Adama flying the last Viper off the Galactica. The ship that kept you and the human race alive for five years. The ship that you called home, where you fell in love, where you lost so many people. The ship that gave you everything she had, and now she gets to rest too. Tyrol's goodbye. Sometimes the journey just breaks you. The Adama family goodbye. The Adama family theme playing over Bill and Kara's hug because she's his daughter. Lee and Kara watching their parents fly away knowing they'll never see them again. Roslin's hand on the window, saying thank you, and goodbye. Kara disappearing. The frak when you're a warrior and the war is over and your people finally have peace, but you can't stay with them because you always needed a fight and now the fight is over, and it feels good. The frak when you brought the cat in, and now you can rest. She won't be forgotten. Roslin's death. Obviously. She lost everything before the fall. She was dying. She was tasked with ensuring the survival of her species and she did it. She even found love along the way. It didn't stop her from dying but it mattered. Love always matters. It gave her and Adama the strength to keep leading their people on. It brought them to this beautiful planet. She gets to walk on the grass, smell the fresh air, feel the sun on her face, and see a world with so much life where her people will be safe and humanity will live on. She doesn't get to stay, but she made it. They all did. Helo, Athena and Hera. They live happily ever after. Hera is smiling, despite everything she just went through she has two parents that love her and that's all that matters. All of that deception and killing and everything done in her name, in the end all that matters is that this child is alive and happy and loved.

Anyway, perfect finale.

We're gonna keep a running tally of how many times I cry getting through battlestar season four.

Episode 2: Six of One

the culprit: Lee’s departure ceremony

Episode 6: Faith

the culprit: Anders taking hand of the dying Eight

the other culprit: Roslin on the ferry, seeing her family across the river

[shiny-jr]

Have you ever thought of the imposter au with the staff of raven College? I could just imagine Crewel being the reason the reader is summoned to twst while not fulling knowing it (Probably coming in at the end to safe then after realize shits going down). That and maybe Crowley and Vargas going full mad dog and just chasing the reader like crazy. Maybe Trein tripping over his cat while chasing and reader/imposter feeling bad about it. Along with Sam using shadow creature to track the imposter down. Just a fun ideas I've been having, feel free to ignore.

I have thought about it before. I believe I even once mentioned that I would make a separate post for it eventually. Recently been thinking about platonic yan staff, so like fatherly type stuff for those of you with daddy issues.

Platonic yan Crowley! Wants to be your father figure so bad. Why won't you let him take you under his wing? You'd be his little fledgling! Ah, he must do his best to protect you! He is the headmaster of a prestigious school with unfortunately many arrogant troublesome students. Often he'll dramatically lament, inquiring why you don't wish to spend time with your dear old father? When you reply with a deadpan, "You're not my dad, Crowley." He'll break out into a melodramatic wail, oh woe is him that his own child does not wish to partake in any activities with him! Ah–– a way home, you ask? Well, during one of his many hours long searches in the library to find you a way home, something he adamantly assures you he's been doing, he had the most profound idea which he shall so graciously share with you! Why not stay in Twisted Wonderland and allow him to formally adopt you? Then you shall be his child and he will be sure to provide you with all the love and care you need! Isn't he a genius with such boundless benevolence?

Platonic yan Divus! Probably believes the whole world is out to get you. You poor little thing, far from home, lost and afraid, with no where else to go. Eventually he'll begin to doubt that Crowley is taking proper care of you, and deem his efforts as inadequate. Look at this wretched place, an old dorm filled with cobwebs and ghosts is supposed to be your home? An old oversized uniform and a handful of cheap worn clothes from the shop are all you have to wear? And your classmates, his own students, oh he knows what they're like. A bunch of ruthless mischief making pups! This is unacceptable! Divus will spoil you like his own. He has a soft spot for you, so when he's improving your conditions and getting rid of the old dirtied items, you hold up that feral monster cat and go, "Can I at least keep Grim? Please?" Ah, the puppy eyes. How could he say no to you? But that cat is getting a bath first. Oh, and he's incredibly wary of all the students. In his eyes, none of them are good enough to be your friends, and he's beginning to suspect all of them of trying to take advantage of you. Listen here, darling, you are not to trust any other men besides himself, are we clear?

Platonic yan Vargas! Oh god, not another one. Somehow, he's worse than the other two dads you've acquired. Especially because he thinks your escape attempts are some sort of crazy athletic training regimen. He's come to think of your monthly escape attempts as survival training, so not only is he enjoying himself but he's more than capable of keeping up and capturing you. Then dragging you back to NRC with a proud grin, boasting about how you got so much further than last time! "Let me go! Let go of me!" That's the spirit, he cheers. Seems like you're raring to train again, but now's the time regain your energy for next month! Eagerly tells you stories about his youth, how he was the strongest and most popular! He really wants you to look up to him, and he likes to think he's your favorite dad. Especially when it comes to Crewel, let's say they have differing opinions on how to properly care for you. While his counterpart prefers to pamper you, Vargas believes you need more activity and excitement in your life! Wouldn't you agree with him? Come on, give him a smile now!

Platonic yan Trein! The only real dad on the list. He has two sons that are already full adults now, and he believes you'd get along wonderfully with them. You would be their new younger sibling. "That's kinda... dumb. I'm not their sibling though." You comment, as he responds, it is not foolish to want all three of his children to get along. It's a bit annoying that you can never really get on his nerves, despite him being notoriously strict and a little intimidating with his stoic look. But like most of the dads on this list, he too has a weak spot for you. He still expects you to be a well-behaved though. No matter what you're like, he can handle it. After all, he's been a professor at NRC for so long, that he's seen and taken care of countless students. If you're looking for quiet time, he's probably the best to be with by far. He'll let his feline familiar Lucius sit on your lap as he serves you a platter of cookies with a hot beverage. When you do try to get on his nerves for whatever reason, it never works, so you end up plopping down beside him on the couch in defeat, angrily opening a magazine as he calmly continues to read a book. Now that the opportunity has present itself, he'd like to have a word with you. You should know that you are his pride and joy. That being said, should any of his students be pestering you, inform him immediately and he'll handle it promptly.

Platonic yan Sam! Most likely the best one to be with. It doesn't even feel like he's trying to be your dad, he's more like a cool but still concerning weird uncle. But if you had to classify him as a dad, he'd be the chill one. Although it is scary that he seems to know way more about you than you ever told him about. You suspect it has something to do with his friends on the other side. Whenever you're not with him, you have spied an oddly moving shadow or two... But the upside about that is, he always seems to know what you want. If it's small, he'll offer it for free. If it's a bigger item, he'll let you have it if you work the shop with him for a few hours. What's say you, huh? Sound like a deal? He'll entertain you a trick or two while you're here! Sam likes to call you his little good luck charm, because you tend to bring in more customers and just put him in a good mood. He choses to trust you, more than the other dads, probably because he knows you can't escape because he's always watching you somehow. You go on ahead, just be back by dark, you hear? He wouldn't want to send his friends to force you back home if you stay out late, m'kay?

[cuppachar]

I just saw pictures of my new baby niece and now I am dying to know what your take on how Roy and Jamie would both react to holding their baby for the first time? How about the team? Would Jamie be a complete natural from the get go? Would Roy be scared even though he helped raise Phoebe? Would Jan Maas be a secret baby whisperer? Would Isaac and Beard both start balling their eyes out? Would Sam and Dani be awkward but awesome? The choices are in the millions and I am here for it!

Hands down Roy is going to cry! Like big ugly crying.

He'll go out to the team who are in the hall and tell them 'it's a boy!'

They'll jump for joy - screaming and yelling and crying and lifting Roy up - and then be told off by a nurse for the ruckus! Isaac cries the most.

And Jamie will be quietly contemplative and whisper into the baby's head as he lies on his chest. "Hey, Jam Tartt, you're finally here. " he tells the baby. "I know I've been a mess, but I promise you I'll be the best version of myself. I will look after you. I'll keep you safe. I'll protect you and I'll be proud of you no matter what you do and who you love," and then he kisses Jam's head. "I promise you I'll make you so proud to be my son. I'll be the best dad, I promise you Jam."

And Ted overhears from the door and has tears in his eyes and tells Jamie that he's already proud of Jamie and he's already all those things to the baby.

(head-canon: Yes, Jan Mass is a secret baby whisperer and Jam giggles every time Sam tells him 'be a goldfish' and Isaac loves to burp the baby, although the sick down the back of his shirt is 'not cool baby Jam, not cool at all," and Dani tells Jam Tartt all these wonderful and bright stories and Jam might not have a clue what he's saying but his eyes always light up when he does. Colin likes to buy Jam Tartt cool baby clothes and accessories, which Roy (and Jamie) tell him he shouldn't (Roy: he's not your designer accessory, Colin) and Jamie secretly loves his little cool dude and (and Colin, his self-declared stylist). Will is the babysitter - especially during practice and matches - and occasionally on date night too. Beard tells everyone he's not a baby person but Ted secretly spies him making baby talk and blowing raspberries because he knows Jam Tartt loves it and Jam loves his Grampy Uncle Beard.

And Ted - Grandpa Ted - sits and talks while holding the baby. About anything and everything and Roy swears that the baby is enamoured with it and Ted's voice. Jan Mass might whisper the baby with his weird facts and reality checks, away from an impending baby tantrum, but Ted lulls Jam into prolonged relaxation, voice warming and bubbling, while Jam plays with his fingers or touches his 'tache. Sometimes Jamie likes to sit and listen too.

And Jamie is a natural. Natural instincts. Natural love. Unconditional. Everything opposite to his own dad. Roy tells him "you got it in the bag, Tartt." And Roy does question himself. Like he questions and overthinks everything, but these people, his family - Jamie, Ted, Beard, even Phoebe when he asks her if she thinks he's a good dad (Roy: Fuck, Phoebe, you just made me cry) - the entire AFC Family, well, they make him BELIEVE it too. One day, after work, Jamie tugs him into the baby's nursery and nudges him with his shoulder while they look down at Jam Tartt. "I had a poster of Roy Kent looking over me when I was a kid," Jamie smiles proudly. "Our baby has the real deal. The Real Fucking Roy Kent.")

[mimisempai]

Happily ever now

What if Cass went to his uncle to tell him about Bucky and Sarah's discussion? What if tonight was the night Sam wanted to surprise Bucky?

Oneshot - >1400 words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31403135

As Sam was getting his picture taken with half the population of Delacroix, he felt someone pulling at his sleeve.

"Uncle Sam! Uncle Sam!"

Cass was jumping around him.

"Is it true you don't want Uncle Bucky to move in with you because you don't want to share?"

Sam froze, in shock.

"Huh? Who told you that?"

"Well, it was Uncle Bucky, he was talking to Mom, she asked him when are you guys moving in together. And then Uncle Bucky he said he would like to move in with you but you didn't want to share."

"Okay Cass, don't say you told me all that, promise?"

"Why? Is it a secret?"

"Yes, or rather a surprise."

A slightly spoiled surprise, but with Bucky's cyborg brain, you could expect anything.

"Just tell me Cass, did Bucky look sad when he said that?"

"Oh no no, he was even smiling."

Sam, a little relieved, thought to himself all was not finally spoiled. As he walked over to the table where Sam, Sarah and the kids were now, seeing how Bucky looked like part of the family, he felt filled with a sense of completeness he hadn't felt in a long time.

He thought about how Bucky had come into his life. He thought about how far they had come since their chaotic beginnings. Thinking about the misunderstandings. They had come to understand each other, to accept each other, to love each other. And Sam knew that it was now up to him to take the last step.

After the dinner, he went to join his sister for a moment, while Bucky shared a beer with Carlos listening to his anecdotes about Delacroix and the Wilsons.

Sarah smiled as she saw him approach, "So Sam, is it tonight?"

"Yeah, I think so." now that he said it out loud Sam wasn't so sure of himself.

"Hey Sam, it's okay you know. Anyone here could tell you how committed Bucky is to you. Honestly I think he's just waiting for that, but he'll never tell you, because he doesn't want to force you into something. In fact you both care so much about each other that you forget about yourself sometimes. You know, I'm really happy that you found happiness, you deserve it. I'm so proud of you Sam."

Sam hugged his sister, and she whispered in his ear, "It's going to be okay, I'm sure."

"Thanks little sister."

Then he left for the lakefront. As Sarah watched him go, she thought to herself that she was so happy that Sam had found someone good. She knew Bucky's past. She knew the wounds of her brother's past. Sam and Bucky were each what the other needed. Sam never handled Bucky with kid gloves, and Bucky, whose stubbornness Sarah had witnessed many times, Bucky always accepted being challenged by Sam. He had confessed to Sarah one night that Sam was the person he trusted most.

Sarah also saw the good that Bucky did for Sam. Bucky was sometimes worse than a mother hen with Sam, especially when they came back from their missions. Even when Bucky wasn't directly involved, he insisted on accompanying Sam. If her brother sometimes looked a little annoyed, Sarah thought it was cute, because deep down she knew it made Sam happy.

She was relieved that he finally had someone in his life who cared for him, someone he didn't have to be the strongest with all the time, someone who understood him and with whom he could lay down his weapons.

"Hey Sarah, have you seen Sam?"

Sarah smiled fondly, these two were wearing their hearts on their sleeves. It was kind of like watching a romcom that never had a happy ending, because they were a happy ending all the time. Even when they argued, and that happened regularly, you could see the love between them.

"Over there."

She pointed to the figure facing the lake.

"Thanks!" Bucky gave her a kiss on the cheek before moving towards her brother.

She couldn't help but call out to Bucky. "Hey Bucky, be nice to him, otherwise next to me, Carlos will look like an angel, okay?"

Bucky looked a little flabbergasted before replying, "Always Sarah." and then he gave her what she called the special Sam smile -the one Bucky gave when he talked about or to Sam- before going on his way.

Sarah knew she didn't need to warn Bucky, his devotion to her brother was unmistakable, but she had wanted to play the role of big sister for once, after all they didn't have parents who could make the shovel-talk anymore.

She looked at them for a while longer. Bucky reached Sam and put his hand on his shoulder to signal his presence. Sam gave him his special Bucky smile - yes, he too had a different smile when talking to or about Bucky. To be hones, if she looked up the definition of smitten in a dictionary, she was pretty sure it would have those two idiots in it. She laughed a little before going back to her children.

____

"Hey there." Bucky put his hand on Sam's shoulder to let him know he was here before sliding it down his arm and holding his hand.

"Hey..." Sam turned to him and smiled before returning his gaze to the horizon.

He felt Bucky look at him, "Your place or mine?"

Sam turned to him, "How about our place?"

"Huh?"

Sam pulled Bucky along, wrapping his arm around his neck, he needed to feel his skin under his hand and not the coldness of the vibranium arm. Because he wanted to remember this exact moment.

"Sam, w-what do you mean with our place?"

"Come with me and you'll see. Do you feel like walking for five minutes or do you prefer the car?"

"Walk, you know I like walking the streets of Delacroix."

Sam knew this, Bucky had come to know half the people here. He had once told Sam that after being locked up for so long in various cells and chambers, Delacroix was the only place he felt safe to walk freely on the streets. Ever since he'd settled in, he'd been walking the streets, enjoying a place and time where he could finally set up home.

"So we'll walk."

Fifteen minutes later, because they had run into at least five of Bucky's new acquaintances, they arrived where Sam wanted to be.

"Here we are." said Sam with a small smile.

"Where are we?"

"Well I don't know, look, maybe you'll get a clue."

Bucky's eyes darted back and forth between Sam and the house several times.

It was a small wooden house, on stilts, typical of the area. Surrounded by a few trees.

Bucky walked over and observed the surroundings, when he approached the mailbox he leaned over and Sam saw him freeze.

"Sam, that's..."

"Yes? What?", Sam took on an innocent look, knowing full well the reason for Bucky's reaction.

"On the mailbox..."

"Well what's on the mailbox?"

"It says, Wilson-Barnes!"

"It does? Really?"

"Saaaam!"

Sam took pity on him and came around to hug him from behind before putting his chin on his shoulder. Bucky's hands closed over his.

"I asked you earlier, how about our house?"

"You mean this house... You and me... Moving in?"

"If with that babbling you're asking me if this house is ours and if I want you and I to move in together, then that's what it is."

"Wow... that's just... amazing."

Sam turned Bucky around in his arms before giving him a long kiss. Then he moved sightly back.

"So? What do you say?"

Sam saw that mischievous smile appear on Bucky's lips that he had when he was planning to do something naughty.

"Well I don't know actually... because living together is a big step, so you must understand I need a few moments of r-hphm"

Sam took his time to wipe that cheeky smile off Bucky's face and when they caught their breath, he said between pants, "You were saying?"

"Yes, of course I say yes!"

Bucky laughed, the laughter that had punctuated Sam's days for several months now, before wrapping his arms around him and whispering into Sam's neck, "Thank you Sam for accepting me into your life."

Sam tightened his embrace and seeing the names on the mailbox over Bucky's shoulder, he replied, "Thank you for walking into mine."

_____

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31139552

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed your reading. As always I continue to walk the relatively new path of writing, I stumble, I fall but I keep going. Thank you for following me on this path despite everything...

[duckybarnes1917]

Figure My Heart Out - Chapter 4

Previous chapter Next Chapter

18+ only.

Warnings: canon typical violence, self-destructive thoughts

Chapter 4: I'm A Mess And You're Worse

Chanel lightly knocked on Zemo's door, and he appeared, his hair still wet from the shower. A puff of chest hair was visible underneath the robe he donned. Chanel had not expected this. She was amused as she appraised him. She briefly wondered what she might find under the rest of his robe but quickly refocused.

“Baron, I’m sorry to interrupt. Are you finding everything you need?”

"Please, there is no need to be so formal, dear. Come in." He opened the door wider to allow her entrance.

She sat on the edge of the bed as he disappeared into the bathroom to get dressed.

“Everything is splendid. What exactly does your ex do to afford such a lovely home?” Zemo asked from the bathroom.

"He sells things. Weapons, art, information, etc." Chanel responded matter of factly as if it was an ordinary profession.

Zemo returned, dressed in pressed tan pants and a white knit sweater. He looked almost harmless. He sat next to Chanel and tilted his head to the side, a slight grin playing at the corner of his lips, "so, not so sweet and innocent after all."

Chanel smiled coyly, “my line of work rarely requires sweet and innocent.”

Zemo’s smile widened, “that is good. Our mission will require ruthlessness. Are you ruthless, Chanel?”

Chanel thought about the recent missions she had been on. She had stopped at nothing to get what she needed. Once the line was crossed once, there was no going back.

Zemo watched the flicker of emotion on her face with pleasure.

Emotion, excellent; she may be even easier to manipulate than the other two.

Chanel pondered what her next move should be.

I need to get him to trust me. How much should I risk telling him, though? He's not like the men I've dealt with in the past; he'll smell a lie before I even tell it.

Chanel met his gaze, "I think ruthless would be a fair description. I won't insult your intelligence by lying to you, Zemo, but my friends don't know exactly how ruthless I have been, and I would prefer to keep it that way. I've done many things that I'm not proud of, things that keep me up at night. But I did them because they needed to be done, and if I had to, I would do them again."

Chanel was surprised at how freeing it felt to say the words out loud. As if a small weight had been lifted off her chest for the first time in a while.

Zemo was genuinely intrigued, “If you feel that way, why are you here with Sam and James?”

Chanel looked away from him, "I want to try and do things by the book for Sam. He's the only person in my life, and he asked for my help." She glanced at him to see how he reacted; he simply nodded in approval.

“Ruthless and loyal. You are a valuable ally to have. Your secret is safe with me, my dear.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.”

God, I hope he means that. Why was telling him the truth so easy? And why did it feel so good?

Chanel was used to being undercover and manipulating men like Zemo. She knew how to play the role of femme fatale. But this was different. In the past, she had always played a character with a fake name, a fake life, a fake past. She had never been herself on one of these missions.

Is this what it's like for the men that spill their secrets to me? Being yourself. Being honest. And receiving no judgment, just understanding, and even appreciation.

“Speaking of my friends, they’ll be ready for us downstairs soon. And I’m sure Manfred will have a special dinner prepared for you. I’ll leave you to get some rest until then.”

“Splendid.”

Chanel placed her hand lightly on his and gave him a sweet smile, “I’m right across the hall. Please, don’t hesitate to ask if you desire anything.”

“Anything?”

Chanel nodded her head yes. “I aim to please.” She squeezed his hand lightly before she sauntered out of the room.

Zemo smiled to himself as he laid back on the bed and pulled the notebook, he had stolen from James out of his pocket.

After flipping through the pages, he mulled over the information he had gathered from the chaotic trio so far. He sensed clear insecurity within both Chanel and James. James, he understood, even more so now. But he needed more information on Chanel.

She has an obvious need for validation.

She’s hiding something dark. How long until I figure it out?

I guess I’ll find out if I still have any charm left.

***********************************************************************

Chanel closed Zemo’s door and turned around, coming face to face with Bucky. He had been waiting for her by her door.

Chanel rolled her eyes. “Really? I thought we decided you were going to trust me.” She walked into her room and kicked her heels off as she spoke. The highs and lows of the day were taking their toll and she was craving the comfort of midday nap.

Bucky followed behind her, “I do. I wasn’t trying to imply otherwise. I just wanted to talk to you.”

Chanel had climbed onto her bed and sat propped against the plethora of pillows as she turned her tv on.

“What’s wrong?” She asked without looking at him.

“Nothing is wrong.” Bucky stood uncomfortably in the doorway, not sure if she wanted him there or not.

Chanel looked over at him and smiled at his boyish awkwardness. “Are you going to come in then, or just keep standing there?”

Bucky was relieved at the invitation and amused at her tone. “You know, you’re a lot nicer to Zemo than you are to me.”

“Am I?” Chanel laughed. “Wait, shut the door and turn the light off. I have a killer headache; I need to chill before I have to start acting with Zemo again at dinner.”

“I can come back if you—”

“No, no, you’re not bothering me. Just take your shoes off and come sit with me.” She patted the space on the other side of the bed.

Bucky did what she asked and settled onto the bed, keeping a few inches of space between them.

“What are you watching?”

“Girlfriends. Have you seen it?”

Bucky shook his head no, “I haven’t seen anything, though.”

“I just watch it to fall asleep sometimes. It’s a classic, like a Black Friends, though I guess you haven’t seen that either.” She teased.

“Yeah, I haven’t exactly had much time to watch tv.”

“You and Sam work too much, that’s why.”

“And you don’t?”

“I at least take time to enjoy myself while I’m working.”

“That’s obvious.”

Chanel glared at him, immediately putting her defenses up. “If you have something to say, Barnes, just say it already.”

Bucky tried to walk back his statement, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Chanel wasn’t convinced.

How else could he have possibly meant it? After his comments earlier about Steph and my ‘mental stability’...I can only imagine what he must think of me.

“I can tell you want to know, so just ask.” She braced herself for his judgement.

“Would you answer me if I did?” He shot back coolly.

Chanel rocked her jaw back and forth as she studied his expression. He wasn’t trying to be hurtful. He somehow looked like he was the one who had been hurt.

“Fair,” she finally conceded. “You get one question, and I’ll answer you honestly, I promise.” She crossed her fingers over her heart.

She expected a snarky remark back from him, but his voice was distant, as if he didn’t really want to know the answer.

“Did you love him?”

“Who? Steph?” She screwed her face up in confusion.

When he didn’t respond she sat up and turned to face him, she could see that Bucky was serious and she laughed shortly, “God no. I told you, that’s not something that exists in my world. It was a job. When it was done, I left without hesitation.”

Bucky shrugged, embarrassed that he even needed the answer to the question.“You just seem so at home here, like this is some part of you that you missed.”

Chanel thought for a moment before answering. “In a way it is comforting. Did I get in deeper than I should have? Probably. I didn’t plan it, Steph was different, he took me by surprise. Even though most of the time I was pretending to be someone else, I felt like I could tell him anything, and he accepted me as I was. Even after he found out the truth. We protected each other.”

Bucky almost had to laugh at the irony; she was finally talking to him about her personal life and every word made his heart sink a little lower in his chest. “Doll, that sounds like love to me.”

Chanel cocked her head to the side.

Why is he always so stubborn? He always has to be right.

She reached up and touched his face so he would look at her. “I don’t appreciate you insinuating that I’m so bad at my job that I just fall in love with every mark I’m tasked with. I didn’t love him.”

Even as the words left her mouth she wasn’t sure if they were true. He had planted a seed of doubt in her mind. She never felt like she loved Stephan. She felt protective of him and she would go so far to say she was fond of him. Of course she enjoyed his company, and the sex had been amazing, but love? Could she truly be so emotionally closed off that she didn’t recognize when she was in love?

Bucky read the flicker of emotion in her eyes as a response to his judging comments. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly so she couldn’t pull away from him. “Okay, I hear you.” He truly wanted to believe her.

“I honestly didn’t mean anything by it when I said you enjoy yourself on your missions. I was just trying to convey that I like being around you.”

Chanel internally rolled her eyes.

Always such a charmer.

She unconsciously moved her thumb in comforting little circles over his hand. “Go on,” she said with a small grin.

Bucky returned her smile, her tender touch chasing away his doubts. “You’re fun and exciting and yet somehow I feel at ease when I’m near you. It’s kind of intoxicating.”

Chanel almost laughed out loud. At any given moment, she rarely felt fun or even happy. She was glad to know she didn’t appear as damaged as she felt.

She moved closer to his side so that she could see his face better in the glow of the tv. “If I’m so intoxicating, why didn’t you let me help you with Zemo?” She teased with a slight grin.

“You’re still mad about that?” Bucky dramatically sank further down into the bed so that he could lay his head back against the pillows in a show of fake despair.

Chanel giggled as she laid down next to him on her stomach. She gently ran her fingers over his jawline.

“I’m not mad, but you did promise to make it up to me.”

Bucky lifted his head slightly. The flicker of light from the tv danced across her skin, highlighting all the places he longed to touch. His resolve to take things slow was quickly melting away.

“What do you want?” He whispered.

“Tell me how you did it.”

“What?”

“Tell me how you broke him out.”

Bucky sat up again, surprised at her request.

“That is a high-security prison, and he’s probably the most heavily guarded prisoner they had. I know you gave us a brief run-down earlier, but I want to hear all the details.” She sat back up and sat on her knees expectantly.

Bucky leaned forward and ran his fingers up her arm, “I was stupid not to include you.”

“Understatement of the year.”

“I’ll tell you, but only if you lay back down; you’re supposed to be relaxing.”

She let him pull her back against the pillows, and she laid down on her back, next to his side.

She closed her eyes, “better?”

Bucky laid back next to her, and her chin rested on his shoulder. “Better.” He conceded.

As he walked her through every detail of the prison break, she constantly interrupted with questions and comments about what she would have done differently. Her excitement and interest pleased him.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so at peace. The combination of the dark room and her comforting presence had his eyelids drooping shut.

“Doll, I get it; you’re smarter than me. I give up.” He stifled a yawn.

Chanel sat up and examined his face, “You look exhausted. Did you not sleep last night?”

He pulled her back down next to him. “Not last night. Or most other nights.”

“I’ll shut up; you should take a nap. I’m missing the show anyways.” She remained by his side but sat up a little more so she could see the tv.

Bucky let his eyes slip closed. Sleep was inevitable.

Her bed must be different than mine. It doesn’t feel so overwhelmingly soft.

He rested his head on her shoulder, and sleep overtook him quickly.

Chanel glanced down at him. He looked so peaceful. All of the hard lines of his face finally softened.

She felt a sudden surge of protectiveness over him. She could understand why Sam felt the way he did. She wasn’t good enough for him; even if Sam wouldn’t say it directly, she knew that much was true.

What am I doing? This is not how making him jealous was supposed to end. I can’t lead him on like this.

She started to move away from him, but he turned and wrapped his left arm around her waist, pulling her back. She tried to wiggle out from under his arm, but she was stuck.

Great.

His gentle breathing was relaxing, and she started to feel tired as well.

I’ve been stuck in worse places.

She sank down further on the bed so she could lay her head on the pillow. His body reacted intuitively and moved closer to her, like a plant stem reaching for rays of sunlight. His breath on her neck would typically have created a flurry of dirty images in her mind, but all she felt was contentment. Contentment to stay exactly where she was, but wasn’t that selfish?

She sighed and reached for her phone to check the time.

We still have 20 minutes until dinner. I guess it would be rude to wake him up.

She closed her eyes and tried to shut down the destructive thoughts that flitted through her brain.

Before she knew it, she was being woken up by an impatient fist knocking on her door. She tried to sit up, but Bucky’s arm still pinned her down.

Stupid vibranium arm.

“Who is it?” She called.

“Sam. Are you coming down to dinner? Zemo and I only have so much to talk about before things get weird-er.”

Shit, what time is it?

She grabbed her phone again; it had been almost an hour since the last time she checked.

Shit!

“Yes! I fell asleep. Give me a second. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

“Where is Bucky? Don’t tell me you two left me alone down there with Zemo so you could suck face.”

“Is he always this annoying? I thought he only acted this way with me.” Bucky mumbled, his voice groggy with sleep.

“Unfortunately, you’re not special.”

“I’m heartbroken.” Bucky rolled over onto his back.

Finally free, Chanel quickly sat up and jumped off the bed. She turned the light on, and Bucky groaned in protest.

“We’re late for dinner.”

She gripped the door handle, but Bucky’s hand was on top of hers before she could twist it.

“Hold on, I wasn’t ready to get up yet.”

His words were breathy against her ear, and the tone of his voice gave her pause, increasing her heart rate just slightly.

“Bucky—” She started to protest but faltered when she felt the tip of his nose lightly graze over her ear. His arm snaked around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

“Doll—?” He taunted.

The brush of his lips against her ear made her lick her lips. The heat only partially simmered when Sam knocked on the door again.

“Can I kiss you?” Bucky whispered.

Chanel nodded her head yes, and he placed a gentle kiss under her ear, his scruff tickling her skin deliciously.

Chanel closed her eyes as he continued to kiss down the length of her neck. “Where was all of this earlier when Sam wasn’t standing right outside the door?” She asked, breathy but with a hint of annoyance.

“You make me nervous. Sometimes I can’t tell if you actually like me or not. I lost my nerve. But you’re the one that wanted to talk about the best ways to break in and out of prison for half an hour.”

Chanel laughed and turned around, “And that was the best conversation we’ve had so far.”

Bucky moved forward, gently pushing her against the door.

“And where is all your nervousness now?” She looked at him hungrily, patiently waiting for him to give her what she craved.

“Believe me, I’m a mess. But, I couldn’t let you go back out there to play temptress with Zemo without kissing you first.”

Sam knocked on the door again, “Chanel, come on, I really don’t want to go back down there alone!”

“Give me a minute!” Chanel yelled back.

“Shut up and kiss me already.” She whispered to Bucky.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed her like he was trying to mark her as his. It was the kind of kiss that left her mouth watering for more when he pulled away.

“That’s not fair. You can’t keep doing this to me,” Chanel complained.

“I would apologize, but I’m not sorry this time.” He ran his fingers over the flush of her cheeks with a satisfied grin.

His smirk irritated her, partially because she liked to be the one in control and partially because it made her want him even more.

In an attempt to gain back control, she wrapped her hand around his neck and pulled him back to her lips. The kiss was one she typically reserved for moments when she wanted to spark something further. She placed her hands under his shirt and slowly ran them up his torso. The feel of his hard muscles making her lose focus for a moment, “Jesus,” was all she could mutter against his lips before they smashed back into hers.

He caught her wrist, stopping her hand before she reached the scars on his left shoulder.

She moved her hands back down his chest, and he let go, twisting his fingers in her hair.

Her fingers trailed over his abs before she let her fingertips just barely slip past the waistband of his jeans.

She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes, they displayed the fight he was having with himself to stop. He looked like he was still at the point that he could walk away from her if he really tried.

That was unacceptable.

Chanel moved her fingers a little lower and teasingly ran her thumbs over the defined v-cut of his abs.

His eyes closed as he inhaled sharply in response to her touch.

Chanel smiled wickedly; she had him.

“We had better stop sergeant Barnes. I am a respectable woman after all,” she said with put-on innocence.

“Jesus, are you trying to kill me?” His voice was low and gravelly as he chased her lips.

She ducked under his arm and moved away from him before he could stop her. The look on his face mirrored how she had felt the previous night when he had left her hanging.

Chanel giggled, satisfied with her work, as she slipped her heels back on.

“Now who’s not playing fair?” Bucky rubbed his hands over his face as he tried to get a grip over himself.

“I would apologize, but I’m not sorry,” Chanel taunted as she opened the door and finally let Sam in.

“Sorry, I didn’t think I would fall asleep. What did you and Zemo talk about?” She grinned at him jokingly.

“Not funny.”

Sam pointed at Bucky, who had moved to the settee to put his shoes back on, “and not cool.”

“What? I educated him on the culture. He didn’t know what Girlfriends was.”

“And you didn’t invite me?” Sam turned to the tv, “I love this episode!”

He turned to Bucky, “Did you ever watch Martin?”

Chanel scoffed in disgust, “God, why are you always pushing that show as the end all be all of Black culture?”

“It’s a good show!” He turned to Bucky expectantly.

“No, I didn’t watch it. I don’t even have Netflix.”

Sam groaned in disbelief.

“Even if he did, he wouldn’t have watched it. Now come on, I’m starving.”

Bucky and Sam followed her downstairs. The sitting room was dark; the windows revealed ominous clouds that signaled an approaching thunderstorm. They walked into the dining room where Zemo was waiting. He pulled a chair out for Chanel and sat next to her.

That will never get old, he thought as he watched the irritation play out on Bucky’s face.

Over dinner, they launched into a conversation about the super-soldier serum and Flag Smashers and Madripoor.

Once the plan was set, Sam addressed Chanel, "I'm not sure if you should come with us. I only asked you to come for your help interrogating Zemo and seeing as that is no longer necessary…."

“Of course I’m coming with you! I told you, I’m with you 100%.”

“I appreciate that, but we’re talking about super soldiers. We don’t even know how many of them there are. You don’t stand a chance against them. I can’t ask you to come knowing I would be putting you in extreme danger.”

Bucky caught her eye and read the silent plea for help on her face. He recalled the conversation they had about fighting styles.

He turned his attention to Sam. “I think she can handle herself. Fighting is about more than brute force. You were there when Natasha took me on, remember? She did fine. We need her.”

"Oh, you mean the first time when you shot her? Or the second time when you nearly strangled her to death?”

“Keyword being nearly.”

Sam glared furiously at Bucky, “I think your judgment may be clouded."

“I could say the same about you.”

Chanel spoke up again, "I'm going with you. End of discussion."

Sam started to argue, but Chanel cut him off, "I understand your concern, but you can't seriously expect me to just sit back, send you off into danger, and risk never seeing you again!"

Her voice started to sound hysterical, and she paused to regain control of her emotions. She wouldn't have what happened with Nat happen with Sam too. She couldn't bear it.

Sam understood. He reached out and grabbed her hand, giving her a knowing look, "Okay. Okay."

"I promise I won't be unnecessarily reckless," she said quietly to calm Sam's nerves. "And you do need me. If I wasn't here, you three would be sat in that God-awful hotel right now trying to decide who gets to bunk with Zemo for the night."

Zemo was the only one that laughed at her attempt to lighten the mood.

"I'm not arguing anymore, but how exactly are you going to be unnecessarily reckless in a fight with super soldiers? You couldn't bring any of your gear through airport security."

"Don't worry about that. Stephan will have something here I can borrow. And maybe it will make you feel better if Bucky runs me through some drills in the gym downstairs." Her comment was directed at Sam, but she stared at Bucky mischievously.

“That would actually be a good idea.” Bucky agreed.

Sam looked between the two of them, “logically, yes, that is a good idea, but somehow it does not make me feel any better.”

While the three of them continued to discuss the conditions of Chanel's inclusion in the rest of the mission, Zemo moved to the large window at the end of the room to watch the rain.

A loud crack of thunder shook the house, and all of the lights went out.

Sam illuminated his face with his cell phone flashlight, giving himself a haunting glow. “Who wants to hear a scary story?”

“Real mature.” Bucky turned on his phone flashlight and placed the phone on the table so everyone could see.

Chanel called for Manfred but received no reply.

"The backup generator should have kicked on by now." She stood up from the table to go look for Manfred when he suddenly rushed into the room, holding a burner phone in his hand.

“Ms. Thomas, we have an urgent problem.”

Through the thick sheets of rain, Zemo barely noticed approaching headlights.

Two-no three sets. Feels like trouble.

He slowly turned to the table, “are you expecting company?”

Chanel looked at him confused; no one should have been able to get through the gate without alerting them. The lights flicked back on, and Chanel saw the panicked expression on Manfred's face.

"What is it, Manfred?"

The tone of her voice made Sam and Bucky jump to their feet.

"It's the Agostinelli. Nicolo and Luka. They called Mr. Kaiser and specifically asked if the woman of the house was home. They must have hacked the security system."

“The Agostinelli? That is not good.” Zemo observed from his spot at the window.

"Shit," Bucky muttered.

Chanel’s face was grave.

Goddammit! Fuck. I should have known this would happen. Okay, think, what do I do?

Chanel went to the window and stood next to Zemo. Bucky quickly joined her. She watched the three cars park in front of the house. Only Nicolo and his lackey, Luka, exited the vehicles.

"They brought backup, but only two are making an approach. That's a good sign."

Sam was frozen next to Manfred, trying to catch up. “What the hell is going on? Who is here?”

"The Agostinelli are an Italian drug cartel," Zemo replied matter of factly.

“Of course they are. I thought drugs fell under things that hurt people. What the hell, Chanel?!”

"Steph doesn't sell drugs anymore. I don't have time to get into this right now." Chanel closed the drapes quickly and walked back to Manfred. "Manfred, would you please prepare some champagne for our old friends?"

They shared a knowing look as Manfred nodded his agreement. "Mr. Kaiser is still on the phone. He would like to speak to you."

He handed Chanel the burner phone, and she quickly put it to her ear. Bucky, Sam, and Zemo crowded around her.

“Steph- I’m okay. What is this about?”

She listened to him anxiously.

“I figured as much. I’ll handle it.”

She began walking into the sitting room just as the doorbell rang.

"Don't apologize. It's just as much my mess as it is yours. Don't worry, I have backup if I need it."

She hung up the phone and turned to the men crowding her space.

"Everyone, be cool. Try not to look like a threat." She eyed Bucky's arm, "at least not too much of a threat. And please, please let me do all the talking. Don't interfere unless I tell you to."

Zemo lounged on a chair near the couch, completely relaxed and pleased with the turn of events. Sam and Bucky didn’t move.

“Sit on the couch!” Chanel hissed at them as Manfred’s and their guests’ footsteps got closer.

They reluctantly obeyed, and Chanel made her way to meet Manfred and the unwelcome guests.

Sam and Bucky anxiously sized up the men that entered the room. Nicolo was tall and thin, his black hair styled in a spiky shag haircut.

Sam internally rolled his eyes at the open blazer with no shirt look that he had chosen to show off his full body of tattoos.

Could this dude be any cornier?

Luka was smaller but more built. His quaff of brown hair gave him a boyish look until you looked closer at his dead eyes.

“They have guns,” Bucky whispered to Sam.

Sam clenched his fists. “What the hell has she gotten us into?” he muttered under his breath.

“Nicolo! Luka!” Chanel greeted them cheerfully as she placed a kiss on both of their cheeks. “To what do I owe this surprise? You do know that Stephan is not home, correct?”

"Yes, we came to talk to you. I see you have company. Should I bring my friends inside too?" Nicolo glanced around the room, sizing up the other men.

Bucky swiftly stuffed his arm behind the couch pillows.

This is exactly why I wear the long sleeves and gloves.

“That won’t be necessary. They pose no threat to you. Just friends.”

Nicolo eyed them all suspiciously and then leered at Chanel. He gently twisted a strand of her hair around his finger as he spoke.

“Does Stephan know you’re entertaining friends under his roof again? I remember when you and I used to be friends.”

Chanel shifted uncomfortably.

Why? Why did he have to bring that up?!

She was glad she couldn’t see Sam’s or Bucky’s reaction.

“Yes, well, that was before you all screwed Steph and Klaus over on the Power Broker deal.”

Nicolo jeered as he walked further into the room, Luka silently following him.

Chanel closely followed their movements, making sure to keep them between her and the wall. Manfred appeared at her side with a silver platter filled with champagne glasses and something covered by a cloth napkin.

Nicolo took a flute of champagne and downed half of it before throwing the glass across the room.

"You have the nerve to chastise me when you were spying on us the whole time?!" He screamed in her face.

The Power Broker? A spy? How interesting. Zemo watched coolly, excited to see what would happen next.

Trust her. Trust her. Trust her. Bucky repeated to himself over and over to keep his body planted on the couch like she had asked.

"Touchy, touchy. Why are you here?" Chanel took a few steps towards him, pushing him closer to the wall.

"That is why I'm here. You and your boyfriend screwed the Power Broker and us out of a lot of money when you betrayed Klaus. And the Power Broker wants double for the product Stephan wasted. I've given him the opportunity to pay it back but time is up. "

Chanel scoffed, “Time is up? Don’t forget who you’re talking to. Stephan is still the boss around here. It seems that you are forgetting your place.”

"Not for much longer. The tide is changing, babe. You might want to start rethinking your alliances. I'm not the only person you've pissed off. I might forgive you in time. Even protect you. If you pay me my goddamn money," he stepped closer to her until they were face to face, "and start acting like my friend again...why are you dressed so conservatively? Are you trying to fool your friends into thinking you are more than just a whore?"

He reached for the buttons on her blouse, and she sprung into action. With one fluid movement, she pulled the daggers that Manfred had hidden out from under the napkin on the champagne tray.

She threw one at Luka; it pierced the hand he was attempting to grab his gun with.

She used the other to slice Nicolo's forearm as she shoved him against the wall.

Her knee forcefully pressed into his abdomen, and the dagger pushed into his throat.

Holy shit, Sam, Bucky, and Zemo all thought at the same time.

Zemo reacted first and jumped up to disarm Luka while he was still screaming in pain. For good measure, he twisted the knife even further into his hand before pulling it out.

Chanel still had her hold on Nicolo. He had acted tough, but he knew what Chanel was capable of; he had incorrectly assumed she was softer now that she wasn't undercover. She pressed the blade deeper into his neck, drawing blood.

She spoke to him quietly but intensely, “You fucking weasel. You dare come to my house and threaten me? You’re lucky Stephan isn’t here. Or do you not remember what he did to your buddy Dante?”

Nicolo swallowed hard at the memory.

“That’s what I thought. You’re not getting any fucking money. Not from me and not from Stephan. Do you understand me?”

When Nicolo didn't respond fast enough, Chanel pushed the dagger harder, fully breaking the skin.

Sam moved to try and stop her as Nicolo cried out.

Zemo stopped him, “let her handle it. He’ll be fine.” He wanted to see how far she would take it.

Bucky was still seated on the couch, in a trance. When Sam jumped up to intervene, Bucky came to his senses.

This is not supposed to be hot. Focus.

He couldn't take his eyes off of Chanel, but he moved over to Zemo and held out his hand for the guns and dagger Zemo had taken off of Luka.

Zemo rolled his eyes but handed them over. “You’ve got a bit of drool on your chin there, James," he teased.

Bucky glared at him.

Zemo shrugged, "I don't blame you. She is quite impressive. I do hope she finishes the job."

Bucky took a few steps closer to Chanel, ready to step in if she took it too far.

Nicolo finally gave in, ���Yes! I understand!”

“Good. If I ever see you or hear from you again. If you ever contact Stephan without permission. I swear to you that I will hunt you down and kill you myself.”

She slowly removed the knife from his throat and started to back away.

“Fucking bitch.” Nicolo muttered under his breath.

Chanel reacted on instinct and slashed the dagger across the side of his neck, leaving a large gash. He screamed and grabbed his neck as he fell to the floor, blood gushing through his fingers.

“Dammit!” Bucky grabbed Chanel’s wrist and pulled her away from Nicolo.

Zemo let out a low chuckle, "He'll live. She didn't cut him that deep. Just enough to teach him some manners." He handed Nicolo the cloth napkin off of Manfred's tray. "Gentlemen, I think you have outstayed your welcome. Shall I show you to the door, or do you remember the way out?"

Nicolo glared at him but grabbed Luka by the collar and scrambled to the front door.

“It was a pleasure!” Zemo called after them.

He turned around and surveyed the scene. Manfred had quickly begun treating the bloodstains on the walls and the floor. Sam sat on the couch in shock with his head in his hands. Bucky still had a grip on Chanel's wrist. Blood stained her clothes and face. She looked like she was silently panicking but quickly pulled herself together.

“Bucky, I’m fine.” She tried to release her wrist from his hand but couldn’t. She glared at him and dropped the dagger, letting it hit the floor. He released her and picked the knife up.

Chanel turned to Sam, fully expecting him to start screaming at her. “Sam, before you say anything-”

He held his hand up to stop her. “I don’t want to hear it. I have no words. I knew this was a bad idea. We are leaving first thing tomorrow. I’m going to bed.”

Chanel watched him leave, dumbfounded.

“I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry about it.” Bucky rubbed her back comfortingly. “Are you okay?”

She nodded yes as she leaned slightly into his body. Surrendering to the comfort that he radiated.

Zemo watched them from the bar.

So much potential for trouble. This should be interesting.

Bucky wrapped his arm around her firmly and leaned his head down to whisper to her, "good because otherwise I would feel really bad about how turned on I am."

Chanel chuckled, “really? That is what does it for you?”

“Usually? No, but that wasn’t bad. Up until I thought you killed him, but then when I realized you didn’t...back on.”

“Ha. You’re just trying to make me feel like less of a psychopath.” The gravity of the situation was starting to fully sink in, and Chanel was losing the battle with her impending meltdown.

“Ms. Thomas, the stains on your clothes! We must treat them quickly.” Manfred rushed to her in a panic.

"Leave it, Manfred. I just want to go take a shower. Can you call Steph and let him know what happened?"

"Certainly, Miss, but I think he'll want to talk to you." Manfred glared at Bucky as he led Chanel to the stairwell.

"Tell him I'm fine, and I'll call him tomorrow."

She caught sight of Zemo at the bar, “Zemo, I’m so sorry, I’m being a horrible host. Would you like to have tea after I get cleaned up?”

“Certainly, I will anxiously await your return.”

Bucky stiffened at her side.

Does she have to be so friendly? Feels unnecessary.

Chanel was lost in thought as she and Bucky walked to her room. She worried about Sam. She hadn't meant to lose control like that. She couldn't imagine what he was thinking. She stopped short after they passed his door, "I need to talk to Sam. I need to apologize." She started to turn around, but Bucky stopped her.

“You need to get cleaned up. I told you I would talk to him.”

Chanel touched her cheek and felt the blood, “Oh. Yeah, you’re right.” She let him lead her to her room and into the bathroom. Her thoughts were racing.

You really thought you could change? What a fucking joke. It’s just luck that I didn’t kill him. Sam must be disgusted with me. What do I even say to him?

And Bucky was already judging me earlier today, all his comments about Steph and Zemo…maybe he was right, I’m in over my head. And the more he backs me up, the more he gets on Sam’s bad side.

Why am I constantly ruining everything?

She barely registered that Bucky had lifted her onto the bathroom counter and was wiping the blood off of her with a warm washcloth. Her thoughts were quickly devolving. She felt worthless, weak, like more trouble than she was worth.

Bucky wasn't used to her being so checked out. It was unnatural for her to be this quiet. As he wiped the last of the blood off of her face, he broke the silence, "are you sure you're okay? I don't think you've been this quiet since we met."

His words cut through Chanel's self-hatred thought fest, and she snapped her head up to look at him. His warm eyes triggered a brief flashback.

“Do you have a death wish?” Cameron teased as he gently patted the cuts on her face with a cotton ball.

“Maybe. But what was I supposed to do?”

Chanel sat next to Cameron in an empty alleyway as he bandaged her up.

"How about not starting a fight you can't win? We live in the south. Are you planning on fighting everyone that hurls racist slurs at you?" He was only half-joking.

Chanel rolled her eyes and ignored his question. “How did you afford all of this stuff?” She motioned to the plastic bag of medical supplies.

“Five-finger discount.” Cameron wiggled his fingers at her.

“Cameron! What if you had been caught? You can’t afford to shoplift in this part of town. The cops have beaten men for less.”

“Maybe. But what was I supposed to do?”

She looked away from him, feeling guilty that she was always dragging him into her messes.

He lifted her chin and smiled at her, "You're the light of my life. You can do no wrong in my eyes. I'll do anything I have to to take care of you. I'm proud of you."

He kissed her gently, and she never felt happier.

Chanel came back to reality, snatched the washcloth out of Bucky's hand, and jumped off the counter.

“Why are you doing this?” She snapped at him, trying to keep the tears that were building from spilling out onto her cheeks.

She turned her back to him to look in the mirror. His presence made her feel worse. All of the things she hated about herself were only made more evident in comparison to the gentleness and purity that she had begun to see in him.

“Doing what? What did I do wrong?” Bucky followed her across the bathroom and stood next to her side.

Chanel backed away from him, “This!” she vaguely motioned at his general presence.

Bucky knit his eyebrows in confusion.

"I almost killed someone just now, and you're acting like that's not a big deal. You're acting like I'm..like I'm a good person." Chanel bit her tongue hard to keep the tears from springing from her eyes.

The corners of Bucky’s lips pulled down in a frown. “Doll--”

"Don't. Please don't call me that." She moved away from him again, crossing to the other side of the bathroom.

"I'm not a good person; so much darkness surrounds everything I do, everywhere I go,” She spoke more to herself than she did to him.

"I have a hard time believing that. I know I haven't known you for very long, but I can't imagine there being any darkness in your presence; you light up every room you're in."

Chanel froze, the pounding in her chest becoming unbearable. She needed him to leave, now.

Bucky took her silence as a sign to keep talking, "What happened tonight wasn't your fault." He moved closer to her and tentatively put his hand on her shoulder, "Frankly, I'm impressed, and I'm sure Sam is too; he just needs time to admit he's proud of you."

“Stop! You don’t know me! I don’t need you to make excuses for me.” Chanel’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the counter, trying to control her emotions and block out the memories of Cameron that Bucky was triggering.

“I’m not-”

“Please, just leave.” Chanel spat out.

When he didn't move, she finally looked at him. With her emotions under control for just a moment, her eyes were emotionless, and her voice was cold.

“Please. Zemo is waiting on me. I need to shower.”

Bucky stalked out of the bathroom without saying anything. When he was gone, Chanel stepped into the shower and finally let her emotions bubble to the surface. She cried until no more tears would come.

***********************************************************************

Bucky went straight to Sam’s door and pounded on it loudly.

“What?!” Sam yelled when he yanked the door open.

Bucky pushed his way into the room.

"Yes, please come in," Sam said sarcastically as he shut the door.

“You need to go talk to Chanel.”

“Great, she’s got you delivering messages now?”

“She didn’t ask me to come talk to you.”

Sam raised his eyebrows sarcastically and mouthed, “sure.”

"I'm…" Bucky hesitated, uncomfortable with being open with Sam. Still, Chanel's words rang in his head, and he pushed on, "I'm worried about her."

Sam laughed shortly.

Bucky narrowed his eyes, “This isn’t funny. I thought you were supposed to be her friend? She’s not okay. She cares what you think more than anyone. She needs you.”

"Yeah, well, I needed her to not drag us into this kind of shit. I told you both it was not a good idea to stay here. We have a reputation to uphold; we can't be involved in this kind of stuff. I don't know if I can trust her anymore."

“You don’t mean that. She did what she had to do, and it worked out fine. Everything she’s done so far has only helped us.”

“It doesn’t count if she caused the situation she had to help us out of!”

“You know what I mean. You asked her to come for a reason. You knew what you were getting. Same as me.”

Sam knew Bucky was right. He just wasn't ready to admit it. He opened the door, signaling he wanted Bucky to leave.

Bucky didn’t move.

"Fine, I'll talk to her, but right now, I need to get some sleep."

Bucky nodded and started to leave.

"And Buck, be careful. Chanel always gets what she wants, but she rarely holds on to it for long."

Bucky didn’t respond as he turned and walked to his room.

After stripping his shirt and jeans off, he grabbed a pillow and blanket off of the king-size guest bed. He laid on the floor. He didn’t know which was worse, his racing thoughts or the nightmares that were waiting for him when he closed his eyes. He desperately wanted to go back to Chanel's room, but she clearly needed space, and Sam’s comment was nagging at him. He didn’t know what to make of it.

Is that why she pushed me away?

She seemed so genuine this afternoon though. Something deeper must be going on.

What could she have possibly done to make her think she's not a good person...especially while standing in my company?

***********************************************************************

Chanel sat in front of her mirror, wrapped in her towel, and stared at her puffy eyes and the dark circles that surrounded them. She waited for her strength to come back to her. She needed to get it together. She was more useless to Sam like this than when she was causing problems. She glanced at the clock.

Shit, Zemo must be wondering where I am.

Just then, there was a soft knock on her door. Hopeful that it was Sam, she jumped up and swung the door open quickly. Zemo stood at her door holding a tray of tea.

They both stood awkwardly for a moment, taking in what they were each seeing.

Not Sam. Damn.

God, I hope he can't tell I've been crying.

Oh shit, I’m still in my towel!

Zemo quickly scanned her from head to toe, "it seems that we both like answering the door undressed." He smiled at her slyly. "I'm sorry to interrupt. When you didn't come back, I suggested to Manfred that I bring the tea to you."

Chanel pulled herself together and smiled at him, "How thoughtful of you,' she welcomed him into the room. "I do apologize; I lost track of time. I hope you don't find me rude."

“Not at all. It is understandable after the night you have had.”

"Please have a seat," she motioned for him to sit on the settee in front of her bed. "I'll be just a moment." She quickly got dressed, pulling on a black short sleeve bodysuit and sweat shorts. She threw her hair into a messy bun and returned to the room to sit next to Zemo.

He handed her a teacup, “I figured chamomile was the best choice this evening.”

“Perfect.”

They both sipped their tea and silently stared at each other. Zemo saw the redness around her eyes and how exhausted she looked. He also noticed the absence of Sam and Bucky. He had expected to find at least one of them here.

“So, a spy?” Zemo asked nonchalantly as he stirred more honey into his tea.

“I was. But don’t worry, that’s not what I’m doing here now.”

“That’s exactly what a spy would say.”

“True. But if I was here as a spy, I wouldn’t be with Sam and Bucky, trust me on that.”

“Too much teamwork?”

“Too much moral ambiguity.”

Chanel finished her tea and curled her legs up underneath her on the settee.

Zemo nodded his head in agreement, “Is that why they are not here now? I had expected to find at least James here with you.” He motioned to the untouched cup of tea that remained on the tray.

Chanel dropped her gaze to the floor.

“That’s exactly why they need you. You were excellent tonight. Fierce. Ruthless. I only wish I could have seen what you would have done had Sam and James not been present.”

She looked up at him. He was smiling at her; he was being genuine.

"Don't tell me the tears were over that. You did what needed to be done. You single-handedly saved the rest of us from an unfair fight."

Chanel wondered if he was right. What else could she have done? She had to protect herself, Manfred, and Stephan. She started to feel prideful. She had always felt good about being able to defend her fake family when she had lived with Stephan. Why should it be any different now? She hadn't killed anyone, even if he had deserved it.

Her mood brightened, and she smiled at Zemo, "I appreciate that, Helmut."

His heart raced a little faster when she spoke his first name, but he still arrogantly believed he held the upper hand. He reached out and cupped her face, “Never shy away from that part of you. We need it.”

Chanel stared into his chocolate eyes and minutely nodded her head in agreement.

He let go and sat back. “More importantly, you may need it. Tell me about your dealings with the Power Broker.”

"When I came here, it was to find out more about Klaus, Stephan's old partner. They were dealing in a lot of stuff, drugs mostly, but also weapons, and they were on the verge of getting their hands on something bigger. That's part of what I was supposed to find out. Stephan didn't like the smell of it. He doesn't trust anyone who hides behind a false identity," she caught what she had said and laughed shortly, "well most people anyway...but before we could make it to the meeting with the Power Broker, Nicolo's old boss, Dante, went behind our backs and completed the deal without us."

“What happened to this Klaus?”

"I was given the order to bring him in, even though the government wasn't pleased that they got nowhere near the Power Broker or the contraband. However, Steph knew if Klaus was in prison, he would stop at nothing to take us, mostly me, down. So before I could bring him in, Steph killed him."

“So you never found out what the contraband was? Does Dante still have it?”

“Stephan took whatever it was after he handled Dante, but he wouldn’t tell me. I was already being reassigned to a new mission in Paris.”

Zemo listened gravely, “And tonight, Nicolo said your meddling cost the Power Broker money?”

"I'm sure it did. When my cover was blown, and I got Steph a deal, he was forced to get out of the drug trade. So was everyone else that worked for him. All, well most, of them, respected us enough to fall into line. They all knew it was for the best that Klaus was out of the picture. But Steph and those that work for him were a big revenue stream for the Power Broker. I can imagine he, or she, is not happy with me."

“Are you sure that Nicolo still works for Stephan?”

“Of course, who else would he-”

“I’m afraid the Power Broker’s reach has extended well beyond Madripoor. If he, or she, wants repayment, they will get it. Your show of dominance may have worked in the short term, but I believe if a situation ever required ruthlessness, it is this one. What will happen to Manfred if they come back tomorrow after we have left?”

Chanel started to panic, but she couldn't go looking for trouble. No, she only acted in defense. She couldn't be the aggressor.

"Steph will be back soon; he can handle it from there."

Zemo shrugged.

“I think it is time for us to call it a night. Thank you for the tea.” She stood up and walked over to the door to show him out.

"Of course," He walked through the door and turned to grab her hand, "good night, my dear, sweet dreams." He placed a kiss on her knuckles and then walked to his guest room.

Chanel glanced at Sam's closed door and then at Bucky's. She considered knocking on one or both of their doors, but exhaustion was overtaking her. She closed her door and crawled into bed, quickly falling into a fitful sleep.

A few hours later, she was awakened gently by a husky voice speaking German in her ear and a rough hand brushing against her face. She slowly opened her eyes, "Stephan?"

If you enjoyed this please let me know by commenting, reblogging, sending me a dm, or an anon ask! If I get enough interest in these first few chapters I will keep posting :)

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Hiraeth [Part 27]

Bucky Barnes X OC (Amelia Stone)

Hiraeth: (n.) “longing or deep yearning for a place, time, feeling or person long gone; or that never was.”

Summary: Things have changed for those who opposed the Sokovian accords. They spend a Christmas together.

*very tiny chapter I wrote to make ground for more fluff*

She didn't know how long it would take to get used to the mildew of their new apartment. It was a fairly decent establishment, but the rain always dampened the wall; that combined with the fact that the landlord was always doing weed. 

She was still struggling a lot with her pain, some days more than others. Now that she had also left the facility, there was no way to keep a close eye on the wound. It used to burn every once in while, particularly when she had those recurring nightmares, now vivid, of being tortured, at the hands of HYDRA, and Bucky. She could remember how she got some of her cuts, that had left a mark on her skin. She couldn't really remember how she hurt her chest.

Maybe it was why Bucky was avoiding her. Somewhere in his mind, he was relating Tony's anger to her forgiveness, doubting if her forgiveness would turn on him the moment he made another mistake. It made him very aware of everyone's presence, and he seemed keen to stay in the shadows, and not interact with them so much. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought he was like that. Brooding, proud, antisocial and a recluse.

Christmas arrived, it was bittersweet, because the team celebrated it together, at least once during the 25 days. To keep up with the festivities, they all decided to have a Secret Santa. It was a beautiful evening on the 24th. The warmth was just right, it made the house feel like a safe haven from the bone-chilling winter outside. The world had gone to a deep slumber under the blanket of fresh snow. The smell of cinnamon and apple had muffled that of the mildew she always complained about. Steve was telling stories of his childhood; Sam was astonished that Steve was indeed a grandpa. Natasha was drinking wine, Bucky too, sitting in the chair and smiling as Steve recounted shared memories.

Ellie had just left the room a minute earlier, and came back holding her phone. Steve and Natasha were to notice.

"Ellie", Steve began, "Come on. Not today. It's Christmas."

"Just one minute Steve."

"He said he'll come, so he will. And if he doesn't, well.. we see that later."

The cryptic nature of their conversation caught Bucky's attention, whose eyes suddenly landed on Ellie and her phone.

"True", she replied, "Ugh....  I am just so nervous."

"Didn't you set the time with him?", Sam asked too.

"Well, he said around Christmas, that too in a mall or something", she replied. "He apparently has a thing for festivities and lights." Ellie closed her phone and put it away.

"Are you sure you want to meet him?", Sam asked, "I mean, you've not really done this kinda stuff before."

"It's ok. Exploring new horizons", she replied. "The world has changed."

"And yet somehow it's still the same", Natasha continued. She put her glass away and straightened the ruffles of her beautiful green dress. "So, let's do the gift thing and get this over with."

Ellie put her phone away and settled on the beanbag next to the fireplace. The gifts were brought and they began to unwrap them.

It began with Steve. It was a small rectangular box, no longer than his hand, wrapped in blue and silver paper, with a red bow on it. He chuckled at the color scheme and unwrapped it. Silence followed.

"Geez", he could manage to say, but his eyes were wide.

"What is it?", Natasha asked.

"It's a Swiss army knife", he said, tracing the sides with his finger. "1939. Belonged to one of my friends in the regiment."

They all looked at the name carved on the side of the knife. "L. R. Anthony."

"We shared a tent during one of our missions. Really, a gem of a man. Had a wife, Margie and.. 4 children I think. A pair of girls and boys. Kentucky.. Man..." Ellie took a moment to steal a glance at Bucky who, as usual, felt indecipherable.

There was silence in the room. All they could hear was the fire.

Sam opened his gift and found paper inside.

"What's this?", he read the card inside. It had two tickets to the quarter finals of a football match. "WHO BALLIN?" he announced, smiling enthusiastically.

Natasha was next to open her gift. Someone had gifted her tickets to Disneyland and an invitation to a fancy restaurant. She could definitely use a break. They all could.

Ellie had a small packet in her hand, looked like a letter envelope. She opened the flaps and two things. One was a really delicate chain, made of silver probably. It had the most delicate pendant on it, a rose. There was one more thing, a small plastic bag, with small bead-like things.

"Are these seeds?", she asked, examining them closely. The paper at the bottom of the box said so. It was geranium and carnation seeds. She looked so happy, always having an interest in horticulture. Her silence though, made everyone curious.

“Something wrong?” 

"No. I just... I love it!", she said, smiling faintly.  

Bucky was last, awkwardly fidgeting with the box in his hand, it was a brown box, wrapped in a plain black string with a tiny plastic pine cone in place of a bow. He opened the box carefully and found two things inside, a nice woolen sweater and an empty journal. On top lay a note which said, "To new memories..."

Announcing that they were going to be late for dinner, Natasha put the gifts away. While everyone was putting their things away, Bucky was wearing the warm brown sweater he found in his gift. 

“It’s a perfect fit”, Steve commented, passing him by to get the keys.

“It is”, Bucky replied, making final adjustments to the hem. He had been estranged for so long, the feeling of a home made him feel awkward. If he could, he would have tried to liken this Christmas to all of his past ones, good ones, but memory wouldn’t serve him that well. It was outside the house his mind was trapped in, and the guard was too strong. 

Ellie stood right next to him, looking at herself in the giant hallway mirror. She was wearing a lovely black dress, with a thigh high slit and perfect stockings to match. Her hair were open and flowing beautifully down. 

“Can you help me?”, she asked, awkwardly, holding the chain in her hand. “I might as well wear this too.”

“It matches..” 

Bucky clipped the chain, the tiny gold rose pendant twinkling under the light. It looked perfect. She looked at his sweater and smiled. 

“Looks nice”, she said, walking away.

“Yes it does”, he replied, in a low voice, looking at himself again, “Thanks Amy.”

----------------------------

Sorry it got hella long. I wanted to make some sense of the timeline and also, Bucky related fluff angst had to be there lol. Also... Is the series too long? Should I be cutting it short? I just like details a little too much.

Taglist: 

This champ 

[dukereviewstv]

Duke Reviews TV: Smallville 1x09 Rogue

Hi, Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Tv Where We Are Continuing Our Look At Smallville By Talking About Episode 9 Of Season 1, Rogue

This Episode Sees Clark's Secret Being Discovered By Sam Phelan, A Corrupt Metropolis Cop Who Decides To Blackmail Clark, Meanwhile, Lex Works With An Old Flame, Victoria Hardwick (Played By Model Kelly Brook) To Take Over Their Parents Companies...

So, Let's Watch Rogue To See How It All Goes Down...

The Episode Starts At A Gala In Metropolis, Where Clark Is With His Buddy Lex To See Museum's Latest Aquirement, A Jeweled Armor That Was Worn By Alexander The Great...

But It Turns Out That Clark Wasn't The Only One Lex Invited To The Gala As Lana Is There Too With Whitney (Who's Playing The Role Of A Professional Wallflower Tonight Instead Of A Quarterback) Inviting Clark To Their Table, Lana, Lana Goes Off To Rip Aunt Nell Away From The Jewelry Exhibit...

Why? It's Not Like She's A Kleptomaniac Or A Thief Or Something, Oh, Wait...

Going Outside For Air, Clark Runs Into Lex Who Thinks He's Running Away From Lana Which Leads Him To Say That If He Isn't Going To Get Lana If He Keeps Running Away From Whitney, Which Is True But Clark Doesn't See Whitney As His Enemy....

Which Leads Lex To Remind Clark About The Phrase "Keep Your Friends, Close But Your Enemies Closer" But As The 2 Boys Talk They're Interrupted By An Old Flame Of Lex's, Victoria Hardwick Who Lex Would Rather Talk To So He Tells Clark That They'll Chat Later...

Meanwhile, Outside Of The Gala, We Meet Detective Sam Phelan, A Corrupt Cop Who's Hassling Some Hood To Get Him Information From Internal Affairs, Telling The Guy He Has 24 Hours To Do So. Going Out For Air Like He Said, Clark Sees A Bus Go Out Of Control As The Driver Has A Heart Attack...

(Start At 3:16)

The Next Day, Clark Helps His Dad And Mom With What I Believe To Be A Tractor Engine While He Tells Both Of His Parents About What Happened With The Bus Which His Mom Is Proud Of Him But His Dad Again Worries If Somebody Saw Him...

Meanwhile In Metropolis, Phelan Blackmails A Security Guard To Give Him Pictures Of The Museum Gala To Find Out The Mystery Of Who The Person Who Stopped The Bus Was Only For Him To Discover That He Knows Lex Luthor...

Back In Smallville, We Cut To The Luthor Mansion To That Lex Brought Victoria Back To Smallville Where She Tells Lex The Real Reason That She Looked Him Up...

(Start At 2:41)

Meanwhile, At The Torch, Principal Kwan Is Having A Problem With The Way The Torch Is Being Run To The Point That He Fires Chloe And Suspends All Issues Until A New Editor Can Be Found...

What The Hell Is Going On With This Town? Someone Tells The Truth About What's Going On And Parents Get Get All Stir Crazy! I'll Tell You What The Real Truth Is...

Lana Promises Chloe She'll Talk With Kwan, But Chloe Doesn't Have Much Hope...

Arriving In Smallville, Phelan Runs Into Lex At The Beanery As He Tells Lex That He's Looking For A Witness To The Bus Accident Who Just So Happens To Be Clark. But Not Happy Phelan's In Town, Lex Tells Phelan He Has No Clue Who He Is...

Which Forces Phelan To Find Clark On His Own, Which Unfortunately He Does, By DROPPING THE TRACTOR ENGINE ON HIM!...

(Start At 2:13, End At 3:34)

Telling His Parents About Phelan, They Maybe A Little Upset But They're Not Mad At Him As Jonathan Just Tells Clark To Leave Phelan To Them, Later That Night, Lex Drops By The Loft To Talk With Clark About Being Involved In A Police Investigation And That Phelan Came To Talk With Him Which Led Lex To Discover The Investigation Was Already Ended...

Warning Clark To Be Careful Of Phelan , He Tells Clark About His History With Him, Saying That He's Not Only A Dirty Cop But The Type Of Cop That Does Whatever It Takes To Get The Job Done And If He Has Something On Clark, He'll Use It...

Visiting Phelan At The Beanery, He Tells That All He Wants Is Clark's Help To Further His Cause, To Which Jonathan Tells Him No, This Puts Phelan To The Point Of Blackmail Stating That If He Doesn't, Clark's Life Will Be Under The Microscope Which Pisses Off Jonathan....

(Start At 3:45)

Meanwhile At The Torch, Lana Comes In With Good News And Bad News, The Good News Is The Paper's Reopened, The Bad News Is That Kwan Chose Her To Be The New Editor, Which Causes Chloe To Blow Her Chips Despite Telling Her That It Was The Only Way To Get Kwan To Reopen The Paper And Until They Could Come Up With A Better Plan She Thought Maybe Chloe Could Ghostwrite...

Which Is A Good Plan To Point Clark Thinks It's A Good Idea, Which Causes Chloe To Completely Freak Out Because "You'd Always Side With Lana" No, It's Called You Don't Have A Leg To Stand On Chloe (Hell, You Don't Have A Leg To Stand On In Real Life Right Now) And It's Better Than Nothing (Like King Julian From Madagascar) So, Shut Up! You're So Annoying!

Confronting Clark At The Beanery, Phelan Tells Him To Get In His Car, But Clark Tells Him No To Which Pushes Phelan Him More Saying In His Own Way That He'll Hurt His Family If He Doesn't Get In The Car...

Later That Evening, Lex Has Dinner With Victoria, Who Asks Lex If He's Considered Their Proposal To Which Lex Says That He Didn't Even Have To Go Over It As He Knows Their Real Plan Which Is To...

No, Nothing That Diabolical, But...

(Start At 2:17)

Meanwhile In Metropolis, Phelan Wants Clark To Do What He Asked That Other Guy To Do: Steal His File From Internal Affairs, Which Is In A Safe On The Fifth Floor And Says That If He Does This He'll Never Bother Him Again And So, Clark Goes Into The Apartment To Get The Safe, However...

(Start At 2:07)

See Ya In 25 To Life, Pal!...

Coming In Late Last Night, Clark Tells His Parents That He Was Working At The Torch Which Leads Jonathan To Ask If Phelan Has Contacted Him To Which Clark Tells Him That They Shouldn't Worry As He Thinks That Phelan Is Out Of Their Lives Forever...

But Then Sheriff Ethan Arrives To Search The Kent Farm On Tip From Metropolis PD Where In The Garage They Find A Dead Body In The Barn And A Gun In Jonathan's Car Which Forces Them To Arrest Jonathan For Suspicion Of Murder.

Knowing That Phelan Is Behind This, Clark Tries To Stop Them From Arresting His Father To Which Jonathan Tells Him To Just Be Strong...

Confronted By Phelan, He Tells Clark That He Expected Him To Double Cross Him And That A Person With His Job Comes Up Not Only One Back Up Plan But 10...

(Start At 2:34, End At 3:17)

Talking With Lana At The Torch, About How Feels Like He's Complicating His Parents Lives, She Tells Him Not To Blame Himself For What's Going On With His Dad As She Tells Clark About A Time She Tried Running Away To Metropolis Only To Be Found By Nell, Who She Asked If She Regretted Adopting Her To Which Nell Said That It Was The Best Thing She Ever Did...

Going To See His Dad In Jail...

(Clark) Now I Know How Barry Allen Feels...

He Tells Jonathan About Last Night With Phelan Saying That He Didn't Have A Choice Saying That He Was Trying To Protect Them And When Phelan Came Back When Jonathan Was Arrested He Wanted To Kill Phelan But He Didn't. This Leads Jonathan To Tell His Son That While He's One To Know About Losing His Temper, Clark But Clark Can't Afford To Lose His Temper Or His Anger Because Once He Crosses That Line, There's No Going Back...

(Clark) Yeah, But What If? And This Is A One In A Million Scenario, Dad Some Crazy Madman Who Looks Like A Clown Ties A Nuke Detonator To The Heart Of The Person I Love Who's Carrying My Unborn Child And Forces Me To Kill Her By Using, Oh, I Don't Know Let's Call It Fear Gas That Has Kryptonite In It So It'll Affect Me And Once Said Person Is Dead, The Entire City Blows Up?...

(Jonathan) Then Fine, You Have My Permission To Kill That Person...

Years Later...

Running Into Lex, He Knows That His Father Is Innocent And Offers To Get Jonathan The Best Lawyers In The State, But Clark Tells Him That He Doesn't Think Any Lawyer Is Going To Be Able To Help Him Which Leads Lex To Believe That It's Phelan Doing This Which Leads Lex To Ask What Phelan Has On Him? To Which Clark Tells Him To Stay Out Of It...

But Saying That He Doesn't Stand A Chance If He Takes On Phelan By Himself Clark Tells Him That Phelan Told That He Has Secrets Which Lex Admits He Does But The One Thing He Doesn't Want To See Is Clark And His Family Get Hurt By Phelan But Clark Refuses Saying That He Needs To This On His Own...

That Night, Clark Is Confronted By Phelan In The Barn As He Tells Him That After Last Night, Phelan Has Internal Affairs Poking Their Noses Where They Don't Belong So He Wants Clark's Help To Pull One Last Job But Clark Says Fine, Tell The Whole World About Me I Just Don't Give A Damn Anymore Which Leads Phelan To Tell Him To Think About His Parents...

(Start At 4:00)

Getting In The Car With Phelan They're Tailed By Lex As They Head To The Museum Where Phelan Decides That Instead Of Picking Up His Internal Affairs Records, He Wants To Pick Up His Retirement Package By Stealing Alexander The Great's Breastplate By Shutting Down The Security System And Faking A Bomb Threat To Get The Guards Outside...

With Lex Outside, He Notices The Guards Coming Out Of The Building To Check Out The "Bomb" Which Turns Out To Be Just A Damn Clock!

So, With The Breastplate In Hand And Bag, Clark Tosses It Outside To The Guards And Lex..

(Start At 3:27, End At 4:27)

I Wouldn't Be Shocked If That Happened After Clark Left...

But It Didn't Instead We Get A Shootout With Phelan Getting Shot By The Cops, But When Lex Asks Phelan What He Had On Clark, All He Tells Him Before He Dies Is "Go To Hell, Luthor"...

So, With Phelan Dead, The Charges Against Jonathan Are Dropped As The Kents Wonder What Will Happen When The Next Phelan Shows Up?...

Yeah, It'll Be Sooner Than You Think, Guys, Sooner Than You Think...

Meanwhile At School, Lana Prints A Story Within Kwan's Criteria That Manages To Piss Him Off, Believing Lana Only Wrote It To Get Chloe Re-Hired Lana Tells Kwan She Did It Because Chloe Was Born For This Job...

To Which Kwan Says That He Admires Her Passion, But Her Reporting Lacks Accuracy In Which Chloe Enters To Say That She'll Work On It So, Yeah Kwan Gives Chloe Back Her Job On The Condition That She Doesn't Print What She Can't Prove...

With Chloe Apologizing For Flipping Out On Lana Saying That When She Butted In On The Newspaper, She Thought That Lana Was Trying To Cut Clark Out Of Her Life As It's The Only They Do Together, Which Is A Dumb Excuse...

Yeah, Rational Is The Last Thing I'd Peg You For Right Now, Chloe...

But Saying She Wants To Be Friends With Her, Lana Tells Chloe That If There's Something Going On With Her And Clark, She Doesn't Want To Stand In The Way Of That But Chloe Just Tells Lana That There's Nothing Between Her And Clark And They're Just Good Friends...

Later That Night At The Luthor Mansion, Lex Goes Over Footage From Phelan's Attempt To Rob The Breastplate But All He Sees Is A Black Blur Which He Pauses To See Nothing!

And That's Rogue And It's Okay...

Don't Get Me Wrong, It Seems Like A Good Episode But It's Just Not One Of My Favorites And I Admit Freely That When I Look Back At The Series I Don't Watch It Despite The Story Being Okay And The Regular Characters Being All Right I Just Don't Like Phelan As A Character And Unfortunately We're Not Done With Him On, No He Didn't Survive Being Shot By The Museum's Security Guards But He Does Appear In A Flashback In An Upcoming Episode Called Zero Which Goes Over An Incident In Lex's Past At Place Called Club Zero Which Has Been Mentioned Before This Episode By Roger Nixon In The 4th Episode Of This Season, X-Ray But Even If I Don't Like This Episode I'm Not Going To Stop Anyone Else From Liking This Episode So I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[midnightmisadventures]

Hi things have been batshit crazy sort of kinda

But i need to write and i'll update union vlog soon i promise.

But i woke up today feeling like when all the tiktok baddies are like "theres been a huge energy shift in the dm" i definitely felt it. I feel springy and light and happy and im proud of dm for releasing some shit.

But one of the main reasons i was feeling floaty was because....well first off i hung out with him for hours yesterday-

But last night i dreamt about him. And i woke up being like "nah he was my husband" cause sometimes in dreams he's my boyfriend, sometimes just my friend like he is now. But basically how i can measure how developed our relationship is is by how much i felt i could rely on him and feel comfort in his safety. Its almost always a safety thing. Which makes sense, if you track by all my babe dreams and my ali dreams before i knew babe.

But its so interesting its like our souls meld together, like i am such a person who i dont share my brain or like really rely heavily on other people to DO anything really. I never wanna need people, but its this weird feeling of like no but he is me. I can trust him to take some weight off because its just another extension of myself.

So i felt like that, to an extreme like giving husband.

BUT THENNN, im entertaining Sarah and i had an epiphany. In some point of the dream i was in.....extreme danger.

Like i was with someone and walking out of somewhere sketchy. And i knew that the scary guys in front of us might be bad, but for some reason there wasnt another way. Like i was like "fuck, fuck, fuck" but couldnt go back in the building or go another way. So i was hoping and praying i could just look down and walk confidently enough that we wouldnt deal with them. Like i was like dammit, but not scared, like whoever i was with i was the most like "we just have to do it" even though i was still nervous

And so we were walking forward, no weapons or any defense mechanisms and i really didnt wanna fight.

So i start walking and immediately one of the scary men, says like says to me like "hey where do you think youre going" and starts being creepy and slimey, and we literally had to walk through them, like had no choice. So i was trying to stay strong with my body weight, look confident but still look down and don't engage. Very scared.

so then of course, the guys start grabbing us and being difficult so we start wriggeling off of them and then full on running when they wouldnt stop

So now im terrified, because they werent only catcalling us but now they were angry so i was so scared they were gonna rape uss. They were fast and stronger and i think had dangerous tools, like these men were gonna bundy us

So i'm running as fast as i can, but i can feel them gaining on us, like we're sprinting full speed, full adrenaline, and i was thinking fuck fuck fuck what can we do, im so goddamn scared, like if they catch us they will hurt us.

So i was thinking if i can reach liam he can protect us, he just doesnt know we need help. So i start telling my friends, "look for the truck, we just have to find the truck and we'll be safe, cmon everyone look"

So im out of breath looking through alley ways, wondering if i should try to turn down a street and juke em out but i was looking for the truck,

thennn, they were speeding up and i started getting really scared so i just said fuck it and started screaming "LIAMMMMMM, LIAMMMM HELP US LIAMMM HELP"

Like genuinely praying for him, screaming his name while im running from danger. And i waited to scream because i was like "i dont want the men to know we have him" but then i thought theyre gettting too close and maybe if he hears us he'll have time to prepare, i was literally thinking through it like "i hope he has a gun on him cause i know he keeps one in his truck"

and it reminded me of the sam dream where he grabbed the gun out of the glove box and told me to STAY HERE.

[msfbgraves]

Missing scene

The Karate Kid franchise is not about the Kid's mother, I get that. But Lucille LaRusso is quite strongly rendered, and I keep wondering, having first really watched all three films in my thirties -

Daniel blowing his whole college fund on a bonsai shop for Mr. Miyagi, that must have been a bitter pill to swallow. Especially since Cobra Kai wrote it so that business failed.

I'm sure Daniel made the best deal he could with the location, may have made it so Mr. Miyagi had something to retire on.

But think of what it would have cost Lucille to put that money by? The extra shifts, the coupons, the night school, the little luxuries gone without, because her darling boy deserved a chance. So no coffees for Lucille, no haircuts, no night out, other than maybe a work outing. The strategic thrift store finds. The packed lunches, the bill extensions, the endless bargain hunting. The paying each other in favours, the telling herself that she can do this, Lucille, it's only five years until he has his high school and college diploma. She can do this. She must do this.

And then he wants to buy a ticket to Okinawa and she understands, somehow, that this is about her boy's grief over his father, her lost love. And she couldn't stop him, and it's an experience and he says he'll earn it back, there is a whole American army base and... she lets him. Dio mio, but she does.

But the bonsai store.

All these years, away from home, everyone she knew, because she needed to give Daniel a chance, away from all the friends that might go into stuff she wanted him far away from. All that work, the aggressive optimism.

It's the first time she has to forgive him something.

Years later, and Daniel has a good job in sales, and so does Amanda. She's been babysitting Sam, who's been asleep for hours, when Daniel and Amanda return from a night out, because of course she wants them to have that. Amanda goes to check on Sam, and she doesn't want to impose on what hopefully continues to be a romantic evening.

But Daniel sits her down.

"Mama..."

He looks like there's a burden on his shoulders, and immediately, she's worried, but he straightens up.

"Ma. I'm sorry."

She blinks. "What about?"

He swallows. "When I didn't go to college, Ma, you didn't say anything, but I knew you were mad."

She's still a little tender at the memory of her, alone, sobbing in that cheap motel just returned from Newark after Louie's funeral.

Of course Mr. Miyagi had offered her a place in his home, but she couldn't accept it. Because much as she'd hoped that they were both thriving in that store, she could see they weren't. And in her heart of hearts, she thinks Miyagi could have stopped her son, but didn't.

Daniel sighs. "Ma, I thought you couldn't be proud of me like this."

She looks at him, shocked. "I've always been proud of you!"

He licks his lips smiles. "Ma, I understand. I think I really understand. What you did. When I think of Sammy, and what I want for her. What I would do..."

She smiles, cups his cheek. "I knew you would, Tesoro." He falls into her arms, lets himself be held. He's almost never allowed her to hold him like this since he was eight, but now he does. "I'm sorry, Mama," he whispers. "I didn't know."

She holds him close. "You know, part of me was glad you felt safe enough to do something stupid," she says. "About time."

He bristles. "Little Trees was -"

"Not just Little Trees," she says. "Your car, Okinawa, whatever was going on there you still won't tell me about, and then that tournament." She kisses his forehead. "You'd been so responsible for so long. Something had to give."

He sits up. "I swear LaRusso Auto is a good idea," he says.

"I couldn't stop you." When she hears Amanda come downstairs she stands up. "I won't keep you," she says, smiling.

"Good night, you two."

One more hug, a smile, and nothing more needs to be said.