#Saito other self

[cylikaart]

Small sketch of Spirit!

[whentheandyou]

happy birthday to the guy of all time i love you i love you EVERYONE IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE please follow support check them out. they are all giga chads. tumblr twitter or both. @.solmango1212 @.sunmellows @.roboraindrop @.crocubies @.ajihaew

[mariacallous]

Climate denial may be on the decline, but a phenomenon at least as injurious to the cause of climate protection has blossomed beside it: doomism, or the belief that there’s no way to halt the Earth’s ascendant temperatures. Burgeoning ranks of doomers throw up their hands, crying that it’s too late, too hard, too costly to save humanity from near-future extinction.

There are numerous strands of doomism. The followers of ecologist Guy McPherson, for example, gravitate to wild conspiracy theories that claim humanity won’t last another decade. Many young people, understandably overwhelmed by negative climate headlines and TikTok videos, are convinced that all engagement is for naught. Even the Guardian, which boasts superlative climate coverage, sometimes publishes alarmist articles and headlines that exaggerate grim climate projections.

This gloom-and-doomism robs people of the agency and incentive to participate in a solution to the climate crisis. As a writer on climate and energy, I am convinced that we have everything we require to go carbon neutral by 2050: the science, the technology, the policy proposals, and the money, as well as an international agreement in which nearly 200 countries have pledged to contain the crisis. We don’t need a miracle or exorbitantly expensive nuclear energy to stave off the worst. The Gordian knot before us is figuring out how to use the resources we already have in order to make that happen.

One particularly insidious form of doomism is exhibited in Kohei Saito’s Slow Down: The Degrowth Manifesto, originally published in 2020 and translated from Japanese into English this year. In his unlikely international bestseller, Saito, a Marxist philosopher, puts forth the familiar thesis that economic growth and decarbonization are inherently at odds. He goes further, though, and speculates that the climate crisis can only be curbed in a classless, commons-based society. Capitalism, he writes, seeks to “use all the world’s resources and labor power, opening new markets and never passing up even the slightest chance to make more money.”

Capitalism’s record is indeed damning. The United States and Europe are responsible for the lion’s share of the world’s emissions since the onset of the Industrial Revolution, yet the global south suffers most egregiously from climate breakdown. Today, the richest tenth of the world’s population—living overwhelmingly in the global north and China—is responsible for half of global emissions. If the super-rich alone cut their footprints down to the size of the average European, global emissions would fall by a third, Saito writes.

Saito’s self-stated goals aren’t that distinct from mine: a more egalitarian, sustainable, and just society. One doesn’t have to be an orthodox Marxist to find the gaping disparities in global income grotesque or to see the restructuring of the economy as a way to address both climate breakdown and social injustice. But his central argument—that climate justice can’t happen within a market economy of any kind—is flawed. In fact, it serves next to no purpose because more-radical-than-thou theories remove it from the nuts-and-bolts debate about the way forward.

We already possess a host of mechanisms and policies that can redistribute the burdens of climate breakdown and forge a path to climate neutrality. They include carbon pricing, wealth and global transaction taxes, debt cancellation, climate reparations, and disaster risk reduction, among others. Economies regulated by these policies are a distant cry from neoliberal capitalism—and some, particularly in Europe, have already chalked up marked accomplishments in reducing emissions.

Saito himself acknowledges that between 2000 and 2013, Britain’s GDP increased by 27 percent while emissions fell by 9 percent and that Germany and Denmark also logged decoupling. He writes off this trend as exclusively the upshot of economic stagnation following the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy in 2008. However, U.K. emissions have continued to fall, plummeting from 959 million to 582 million metric tons of carbon dioxide equivalent between 2007 and 2020. The secret to Britain’s success, which Saito doesn’t mention, was the creation of a booming wind power sector and trailblazing carbon pricing system that forced coal-fired plants out of the market practically overnight. Nor does Saito consider that from 1990 to 2022, the European Union reduced its emissions by 31 percent while its economy grew by 66 percent.

Climate protection has to make strides where it can, when it can, and experts acknowledge that it’s hard to change consumption patterns—let alone entire economic systems—rapidly. Progress means scaling back the most harmful types of consumption and energy production. It is possible to do this in stages, but it needs to be implemented much faster than the current plodding pace.

This is why Not the End of the World: How We Can Be the First Generation to Build a Sustainable Planet by Hannah Ritchie, a data scientist at the University of Oxford, is infinitely more pertinent to the public discourse on climate than Saito’s esoteric work. Ritchie’s book is a noble attempt to illustrate that environmental protection to date boasts impressive feats that can be built on, even as the world faces what she concedes is an epic battle to contain greenhouse gases.

Ritchie underscores two environmental afflictions that humankind solved through a mixture of science, smart policy, and international cooperation: acid rain and ozone depletion. I’m old enough to remember the mid-1980s, when factories and power plants spewed out sulfurous and nitric emissions and acid rain blighted forests from the northeastern United States to Eastern Europe. Acidic precipitation in the Adirondacks, my stomping grounds at the time, decimated pine forests and mountain lakes, leaving ghostly swaths of dead timber. Then, scientists pinpointed the industries responsible, and policymakers designed a cap-and-trade system that put a price on their emissions, which forced industry into action; for example, power plants had to fit scrubbers on their flue stacks. The harmful pollutants dropped by 80 percent by the end of the decade, and forests grew back.

The campaign to reverse the thinning of the ozone layer also bore fruit. An international team of scientists deduced that man-made chlorofluorocarbons (CFC) in fridges, freezers, air conditioners, and aerosol cans were to blame. Despite fierce industry pushback, more than 40 countries came together in Montreal in 1987 to introduce a staggered ban on CFCs. Since then, more countries joined the Montreal Protocol, and CFCs are now largely a relic of the past. As Ritchie points out, this was the first international pact of any kind to win the participation of every nation in the world.

While these cases instill inspiration, Ritchie’s assessment of our current crisis is a little too pat and can veer into the Panglossian. The climate crisis is many sizes larger in scope than the scourges of the 1980s, and its antidote—to Saito’s credit—entails revamping society and economy on a global scale, though not with the absolutist end goal of degrowth communism.

Ritchie doesn’t quite acknowledge that a thoroughgoing restructuring is necessary. Although she does not invoke the term, she is an acolyte of “green growth.” She maintains that tweaks to the world’s current economic system can improve the living standards of the world’s poorest, maintain the global north’s level of comfort, and achieve global net zero by 2050. “Economic growth is not incompatible with reducing our environmental impact,” she writes. For her, the big question is whether the world can decouple growth and emissions in time to stave off the darkest scenarios.

Ritchie approaches today’s environmental disasters—air pollution, deforestation, carbon-intensive food production, biodiversity loss, ocean plastics, and overfishing—as problems solvable in ways similar to the crises of the 1980s. Like CFCs and acid rain, so too can major pollutants such as black carbon and carbon monoxide be reined in. Ritchie writes that the “solution to air pollution … follows just one basic principle: stop burning stuff.” As she points out, smart policy has already enhanced air quality in cities such as Beijing (Warsaw, too, as a recent visit convinced me), and renewable energy is now the cheapest form of power globally. What we have to do, she argues, is roll renewables out en masse.

The devil is in making it happen. Ritchie admits that environmental reforms must be accelerated many times over, but she doesn’t address how to achieve this or how to counter growing pushback against green policies. Just consider the mass demonstrations across Europe in recent months as farmers have revolted against the very measures for which Ritchie (correctly) advocates, such as cutting subsidies to diesel gas, requiring crop rotation, eliminating toxic pesticides, and phasing down meat production. Already, the farmers’ vehemence has led the EU to dilute important legislation on agriculture, deforestation, and biodiversity.

Ritchie’s admonishes us to walk more, take public transit, and eat less beef. Undertaken individually, this won’t change anything. But she acknowledges that sound policy is key—chiefly, economic incentives to steer markets and consumer behavior. Getting the right parties into office, she writes, should be voters’ priority.

Yet the parties fully behind Ritchie’s agenda tend to be the Green parties, which are largely in Northern Europe and usually garner little more than 10 percent of the vote. Throughout Europe, environmentalism is badmouthed by center-right and far-right politicos, many of whom lead or participate in governments, as in Finland, Hungary, Italy, the Netherlands, Serbia, Slovakia, and Sweden. And while she argues that all major economies must adopt carbon pricing like the EU’s cap-and-trade system, she doesn’t address how to get the United States, the world’s second-largest emitter, to introduce this nationwide or even expand its two carbon markets currently operating regionally—one encompassing 12 states on the East Coast, the other in California.

History shows that the best way to make progress in the battle to rescue our planet is to work with what we have and build on it. The EU has a record of exceeding and revising its emissions reduction targets. In the 1990s, the bloc had the modest goal of sinking greenhouse gases to 8 percent below 1990 levels by 2008-12; by 2012, it had slashed them by an estimated 18 percent. More recently, the 2021 European Climate Law adjusted the bloc’s target for reducing net greenhouse gas emissions from 40 percent to at least 55 percent by 2030, and the European Commission is considering setting the 2040 target to 90 percent below 1990 levels.

This process can’t be exclusively top down. By far the best way for everyday citizens to counter climate doomism is to become active beyond individual lifestyle choices—whether that’s by bettering neighborhood recycling programs, investing in clean tech equities, or becoming involved in innovative clean energy projects.

Take, for example, “community energy,” which Saito considers briefly and Ritchie misses entirely. In the 1980s, Northern Europeans started to cobble together do-it-yourself cooperatives, in which citizens pooled money to set up renewable energy generation facilities. Many of the now more than 9,000 collectives across the EU are relatively small—the idea is to stay local and decentralized—but larger co-ops illustrate that this kind of enterprise can function at scale. For example, Belgium’s Ecopower, which forgoes profit and reinvests in new energy efficiency and renewables projects, provides 65,000 members with zero-carbon energy at a reduced price.

Grassroots groups and municipalities are now investing in nonprofit clean energy generation in the United States, particularly in California and Minnesota. This takes many forms, including solar fields; small wind parks; electricity grids; and rooftop photovoltaic arrays bolted to schools, parking lots, and other public buildings. Just as important as co-ownership—in contrast to mega-companies’ domination of the fossil fuel market—is democratic decision-making. These start-ups, usually undertaken by ordinary citizens, pry the means of generation out of the hands of the big utilities, which only grudgingly alter their business models.

Around the world, the transition is in progress—and ideally, could involve all of us. The armchair prophets of doom should either join in or, at the least, sit on the sidelines quietly. The last thing we need is more people sowing desperation and angst. They play straight into the court of the fossil fuel industry.

[callmedaleelah]

— Pinnacle [ tsukishima kei university au series ]

— so i pay the price of what i lost ; yes it is right that you can handle anything, but you can’t handle everything all at once

author’s notes : no mention of (y/n), written in second person pov, alternative universe, timeskip!tsukishima, college life, not proofread, english is not my first language, long written chapter

[ masterlist ] | [ ask daleelah go to box box 🐭 ]

Winter break felt like a blur of constant assignments, stress, and messages from your mother. You found yourself buried in work, avoiding the outside world—especially your phone, which you knew was filled only with your mom’s relentless reminders to study harder, do better, and aim higher. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s contacts had been pushed to the bottom of your recent conversations, untouched since that day in the gym.

You haven’t seen Yamaguchi or Tsukishima since that winter class you skipped to watch their game. That day feels like it happened in a different life—before the semester started to suffocate you, before your every waking moment was consumed by endless biochemistry coursework. You don’t have time to think about anything else anymore, not when every day feels like a battle to keep up with the expectations of your professors and the relentless academic pace.

Classes in the second semester are intense, perhaps even more than you expected. One of your courses, Organic Chemistry II, is particularly demanding. The subject matter dives deep into reaction mechanisms, synthesis pathways, and the stereochemistry of complex molecules. There’s also Molecular Biology, where you’re expected to learn and apply the intricate processes of DNA replication, transcription, and translation. Your third major course, Biophysical Chemistry, focuses on the thermodynamics of biological systems—another subject that stretches your mind to its limit.

It’s only the second week of your new semester in biochemistry, but it feels like you’ve been dragging yourself through months. Everything seems heavier this time—every lecture, every lab session, every assignment. The moment you open your textbooks and class notes, you can feel your brain protesting. There’s an exhaustion that hangs in the air, a feeling like you’re constantly one step behind even when you manage to complete your work on time.

Now, standing outside the lecture hall for Organic Chemistry II, you realized nothing much had changed. The same heavy textbooks, the same tight deadlines, the same competition between your classmates as they all tried to one-up each other. The new semester had brought a new intensity. You were still trying to keep up with your classmates—some of them seemed almost unnaturally gifted, answering the professors’ most complex questions with ease, while you constantly second-guessed yourself, even when you knew the answer.

Professor Saito, a man with a greying beard and an air of calm authority, strode into the room with his usual collected demeanor. His reputation preceded him—tough, no-nonsense, and known for pushing his students to think critically. Today was no different. He picked up a piece of chalk and began scribbling a chemical equation across the board.

Without glancing back, he posed his first question to the room. “Can anyone explain the significance of this reaction in the context of anaerobic respiration in yeast?”

The classroom, filled with second-year students, was eerily silent. Your eyes traced the chemical formula on the board—glucose breaking down into ethanol and carbon dioxide. The answer floated on the surface of your mind, but your heart pounded in your chest as self-doubt crept in. You scanned the room, hoping that one of the top students would break the silence and offer the answer instead. But they remained still, unfazed, as if this question was beneath them.

You bit your lip, feeling the weight of the quiet hanging over you. It was a simple question, one you knew the answer to, but something held you back. You hated this feeling—knowing, yet hesitating, paralyzed by the fear of saying something wrong. The silence stretched on, and finally, despite the knots of anxiety in your stomach, you slowly raised your hand.

Professor Saito turned to face you, his gaze resting on you with a slight lift of his eyebrows. “Yes?”

Your voice wavered as you spoke. “It’s… the fermentation of glucose into ethanol and carbon dioxide,” you said quietly, swallowing back the stammer in your throat. “Yeast uses this anaerobic process to generate energy in the form of ATP when oxygen isn’t available.”

Professor Saito nodded slightly, his expression unreadable. “Correct. And why is this process significant in industrial applications?”

You took a deep breath. “It’s used in brewing to produce alcohol and in baking for the carbon dioxide that helps dough rise.”

He considered your answer for a moment before nodding again. “Yes. Good. Remember, however, that the ATP yield here is significantly lower than in aerobic respiration. That’s the key difference.”

Relief washed over you, and you allowed yourself to relax—just a little. But before you could even savor that small victory, another voice broke the quiet.

“Professor, could you explain the exact mechanism for the stereoselective alkylation of an enolate in asymmetric synthesis?” The voice belonged to Renji, one of the top students in the class. His question was sharp and cutting, a deliberate challenge. “And maybe elaborate on the difference between kinetic and thermodynamic control in that context?”

A ripple of murmurs spread through the room, punctuated by a few suppressed giggles. You stiffened in your seat. The question was far beyond the scope of what you’d covered in class, meant to impress—or worse, embarrass—the professor. Renji’s tone dripped with arrogance, and the way he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, told you he already knew the answer.

Professor Saito regarded him for a moment, his gaze steady. He began to respond calmly, “In asymmetric synthesis, the stereoselectivity of the alkylation depends on—”

Before he could finish, another voice interrupted. “What about stereoelectronic effects when using Evans' oxazolidinone in highly hindered substrates?” Yumi, another top-tier student, chimed in with a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. She leaned forward slightly, her question laden with the same smug intent—to derail the lesson, to show off her own knowledge.

The air in the room became stifling. You could feel it—the discomfort rippling through the other students, the growing tension as Renji and Yumi sought to outwit the professor rather than learn from him. They weren’t asking to deepen their understanding. No, they were playing a different game, one of one-upmanship and arrogance.

Your stomach twisted with unease as you watched the scene unfold. Professor Saito, usually unflappable, seemed to falter for just a moment. You caught a glimpse of weariness in his eyes as he straightened up, preparing to answer yet another convoluted question. He had always been patient with his students, no matter how difficult the questions, but there was something in the way his shoulders sagged ever so slightly that made your heart ache for him.

You glanced around the room. Some students were fidgeting uncomfortably, others quietly whispering to their neighbors. The whole room had been hijacked by these few who cared more about showing off than learning, and the rest of you were left feeling small, inconsequential. You clenched your fists under the desk, wishing you could say something, do something to stop it, but the words stayed lodged in your throat. What could you say? What could you do?

Professor Saito began explaining the stereoelectronic effects, his voice steady, but you could sense his weariness growing. The air felt oppressive, like the weight of these students’ arrogance had smothered any genuine learning atmosphere. You shifted in your seat, feeling anxiety gnawing at your insides, hating the smug smiles that played on Renji and Yumi’s lips.

Before you could think further, you raised your hand signaling to interrupt the class. Professor Saito caught your motion and stop his explanation. “I’m sorry, Professor, may i speak?” Your voice came out a little shaky but louder than you expected, you can’t stop yourself right now. Every eyes are on you when the professor nodded. You land your gaze to Yumi—her smug faltered as she turned toward your seat. “I don’t see any stereoselective alkylation of enolates in asymmetric synthesis in our syllabus for this entire semester. So, if you’re going to interrupt the class with questions, at least stick to the topic we’re actually supposed to be learning.”

And now you turned to Renji’s seat, his face hardening as the room went deathly quiet. You could feel the eyes of the other students on you, and though your heart pounded in your ears, you pressed on. “And if you’re feeling that generously smart, maybe you should come up there and be the professor yourself. But what do you actually get from trying to make others—let alone the professor—feel small by throwing out questions just to outsmart them?”

Yumi’s smirk vanished, replaced by a look of shock. Renji shifted in his seat, his face hardening, but he remained silent. You could feel the tension swirling in the room, but it wasn’t directed at you anymore—it was directed at the arrogance that had poisoned the air.

Professor Saito stood there for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He cleared his throat, and the room snapped back to attention.

The room goes quiet, tension crackling in the air. You don’t usually speak up like this, but something about the arrogance in the room pushed you past your breaking point. The student sneers at you, but you don’t flinch. You’ve had enough of people trying to make others feel small just to inflate their own egos.

Professor Saito gives you a small nod of appreciation before continuing his lecture, the class quiet now except for the sound of his chalk against the board.

That evening, you’re back at your desk, struggling to finish another assignment. The words blur together on the screen, and despite your best efforts, you keep having to re-read the same paragraph over and over. You’re exhausted. There’s no other word for it. Even though you’ve tried to catch up on sleep, it never feels like enough. And there’s always another deadline looming, another mountain of work to climb.

Your phone buzzes next to you, but you don’t pick it up. It’s probably your mom again, asking why you haven’t called or berating you for not keeping up with her expectations. You’ve been avoiding her texts and calls lately because you can’t deal with the added pressure. She doesn’t understand how hard this is, how much you’re trying to juggle. Or maybe she does, and just doesn’t care. Either way, you don’t have the energy to explain yourself to her right now.

By the time you finish the assignment and hit submit, it’s nearly 2 AM. You slump back in your chair, staring at the ceiling. Every muscle in your body aches, and there’s a tightness in your chest that hasn’t gone away for days. You feel like you’re sinking deeper into a hole you can’t climb out of.

The thought of opening your phone again fills you with dread, but you do it anyway, more out of habit than anything else. When you do, you see an email from Professor Saito.

Subject: Checking In

I hope this message finds you well. I noticed that you submitted your most recent assignment late last night. While I am aware of the pressures you and many other students are under, I wanted to reach out personally.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve noticed how diligently you’ve participated in my class. I’ve seen how you’ve quietly answered questions, even when you seemed uncertain of yourself. I also noticed how you stepped in during that difficult class discussion the other day and helped refocus the conversation. You have a sharp mind, and I hope you know that.

That said, I am concerned about you. I can tell that you’re pushing yourself hard, and while I appreciate your effort, I also want to remind you that your well-being comes first. I know what it’s like to feel the weight of academic pressure, and I want to encourage you to take care of yourself, too.

If you ever feel overwhelmed or need to talk, please know that my office door is always open to you. You are a valued member of my class, and I believe in your potential.

Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything.

Warm regards, Professor Saito

As you read the email, you feel a lump form in your throat. You hadn’t realized how much you needed to hear those words until now. For so long, you’ve felt like you were just going through the motions, never sure if you were really doing anything right. But here, someone was telling you that you mattered—that your efforts weren’t invisible.

You close the email and stare at the screen for a long moment. Then, without thinking, you bury your face in your hands. The tears come quickly, a mix of exhaustion, relief, and gratitude. You hadn’t expected this—this kindness, this small bit of recognition in a sea of doubt.

tagslist (free to mention) ; @theweirdfloatything @snowthatareblack @ilovemymomscooking @nayiiryun @knightofmidnight @kozumesphone @scxrcherr

sorry for posting this late, i’ve been super busy with karate practice all weekend—i’ve got a belt test coming up soon, so the training’s been extra intense. i’m exhausted, and my legs hurt so bad i can barely walk, but gotta stay strong and push through! 😣

[yukimomodivorce]

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

[braveandsnipe]

BoonBoonger Information

Most of this info comes from TV Asahi's website. I did my best with translations.

edit: i fixed boonblack's name. sorry i can't read

Cast

Red– Haruhi Uichi

Blue– Yuki Hayama (prev. Okamoto)

Pink– Miu Suzuki

Black– Ryu Saito

Orange– Satoru Souma

while none of these actors have been in a previous toku series, 3/5 of them have been in productions concerning the story of "cinderella".

suzuki also guest starred in a drama which starred rin takanashi (shinken pink) and had ukyo matsumoto (kamen rider snipe) as a support character. this is relevent because i watched this drama, and enjoyed it a lot

Characters

BoonRed– Taiya Handou

He is a master of development and modification. He works as a "delivery man" with the cars he builds. When he likes a person or a thing, he says, "I love it!" or "I bought it!" He has the ability to see things for what they really are, and he has a strong competitive instinct that leads him to make quick judgments. Even if there is a risk, he says, "Isn't it better to take the risk?" He is the type of person who enjoys taking risks in a positive manner. He is adept at using both rods and guns, and is good at creative fighting according to the situation.

BoonBlue– Ishirou Meita

An "informant", a master of information gathering. Usually a freelance spy. He always considers risks and makes calm decisions. He is meticulous and cynical. He fights alongside Taiya as if it were a "job he had contracted". He has excellent, dynamic vision and is good at precise movements. When he uses a gun, he is a one-hit wonder.

BoonPink– Mira Shifuto

A "driver", an expert in driving and maneuvering. She usually works part-time at various stores. Her pedal work technique is so good that both Taiya and Ishirou are amazed. She is a mood-maker and a troublemaker. After meeting Taiya, she began to show her true core strength. She fights intuitively with his unique sensibility.

BoobBlack– Jou Akuse

He is a "police man", a rookie cop who is passionate about justice. He usually patrols the town on his bicycle as a uniformed police officer. He is a serious and aggressive person. He is more hard than soft. He is confident in his physical strength. He mainly likes to use the rod mode of the Boom Boom Change Axe.

BoonOrange– Kenba Bureki

A "procurer," a master of procurement. He is a man who can be relied on to procure what he needs from anywhere. He has a gentle and soft manner. He is elusive and never shows his true feelings. He is more soft than hard. He is good at fighting by taking advantage of his opponent's movements. He mainly uses the Axe Mode of the Boom Boom Change Axe.

Friends of Boonboomger

Boondeals Boondrio (?) – Also known as "Boom Boom"

A car-shaped alien who fell to earth after being wounded. It resides in the garage of Taiya's secret base at his home, and usually lives in humanoid or human-sized form.

When in human form, he wears a self-made sun visor on his head. He is a first-rate mechanic, and he and Taiya, who likes to tinker with machines, get along well and consider each other to be best friends. He is also good at housework, and for some reason often makes curry.

Boonboomger's set of equipment was made with the help of Boomboom and Taiya. Taiya and his friends call themselves "Boonboomgers," meaning "Boonboom and his warriors. They monitor Boonboomger's battles from Taiya's garage and sometimes support him remotely.

Boonboom can grow to a giant size. The power is drawn out when the Boonboomger rides on it. It can combo with various Boonboomgers and fight huge enemies as a Boonboomger robot.

Voiced by Rica Matsumoto

Great Space Invasion Dairikurikidan Hashiriyan (Villians)

The unborn of the universe. They attack people in order to collect the human scream energy Gasoline ("Gyasolin").

Deco Trade ("Dekotarade") – (left), Has dreams of moving up the ranks. One of 3 idiotic site supervisors who causes trouble every time. Voiced by Junichi Sawabe (who has been in previous Toku Productions)

Itasha – (right), Has dreams of moving up the ranks. One of 3 idiotic site supervisors who causes trouble every time. Voiced by Nana Mizuki (Was in Super Hero Taisen Z)

Yaruka Yai Yai – Has dreams of moving up the ranks. One of 3 idiotic site supervisors who causes trouble every time. Sometimes becomes a car. Voiced by Sumire Moroshi.

Trailer and Music

Via @/DailyBoonBoom on Twitter

Trailer

Opening Theme

The ED is titled "Konkotsu Pon Pon" by Rica Matsumoto and there will be a dance ver for it. [src]

[inception30daychallenge]

Inception 30 Day Challenge 2024: Get inspired, share your hot takes and win prizes!

Create a post, whether it be text, art, music, or any other media, using these 31 items as prompts. Feel free to participate in as many or as few of them as you want!

Copy the prompt into the body of the post somewhere and tag your posts with @inception30daychallenge, #inceptiversary, and #inception30daychallenge. Your posts will be reblogged on this blog for everyone to appreciate!

You earn one entry for every prompt you answer before 11:59 PM EDT on July 31. We’ll hold a raffle then to determine our prize winner(s)! More info can be found in our FAQ.

Prompts below the cut, or at this Google Doc link!

Day 01: Your favourite thing about the movie.

Day 02: Classify each character according to the Alignment Chart. (For more details on what each box means)

Day 03: A post-canon headcanon.

Day 04: Arthur’s secret phobia.

Day 05: Your favourite line in the movie.

Day 06: A fic rec!

Day 07: If you had to change a scene from the movie to have a musical number, which scene would it be?

Day 08: What songs/artists are on Eames’ main playlist?

Day 09: Which character has the most annoying habit on the job and what is it?

Day 10: A headcanon about your favourite character.

Day 11: Mal’s favourite fairytale.

Day 12: Your favourite setting in the movie.

Day 13: A fanart rec! (note: please do not repost art from tumblr artists! just reblog it and tag @inception30daychallenge so we can see it.)

Day 14: What skills would you bring to a dreamshare team?

Day 15: Cobb’s greatest parenting strength and weakness.

Day 16: Inception Day! Make anything Inception-related! Take a photo, write a poem, make a meme, sing a tune, whatever you want!

Day 17: How did the team spend the rest of the week on the first dream level?

Day 18: What building or monument does Ariadne wish she designed?

Day 19: Your favourite bit of fanon.

Day 20: Another type of rec! (meta, podfic, fanvid, edit, meme, blog, whatever!)

Day 21: What would you want to use dreamshare technology for?

Day 22: What skill does Robert wish he had?

Day 23: If you had to be stuck on a deserted island with an Inception character, who would you choose?

Day 24: A headcanon about your favourite friendship or relationship.

Day 25: When Saito was a child, what did he want to be when he grew up?

Day 26: Which summer Olympic sport would each character compete in? 

Day 27: A self-rec! (anything from art to a funny Tumblr post you made!)

Day 28: What piece of media would you want to see in a crossover with Inception?

Day 29: Something Yusuf keeps hidden in his desk.

Day 30: If the characters were all in a band, what instruments/roles would they play?

Day 31: A letter to Inception fandom.

[ghelgheli]

In the 1860s, when he consciously distanced himself from his earlier technocratic productivism, Marx was compelled to rethink his optimistic view of history and to reflect more seriously upon its negative implications. This self-critical reflection took place as he investigated the material aspect of the production process unique to capitalist production, especially how material world — human and non-human — is reorganized by capital's initiative in favour of its own accumulation. This is because the increase of productive forces subordinate workers to command of capital more effectively. If so, 'relations of production' and 'productive forces' cannot be simply separated as assumed in the traditional view of historical materialism. The development of productive forces of capital is dependent upon the thorough reorganization of human metabolism with nature in the form of cooperation, division of labour and machinery. In this sense, the 'mode of production' expresses a particular social arrangement of the material elements of production. That is why in the preface to Capital, Marx set himself the task of examining 'the capitalist mode of production, and the relations of production... that correspond to it' instead of treating 'productive forces' as an independent variable as was the case in the preface to A Contribution.

This change concerning the 'mode of production' might be discounted as a minor philological quibble, but its theoretical significance should not be underestimated because it has to do with the transformation of Marx's vision of post-capitalism. When the development of productive forces is not purely formal and quantitative, but is deeply rooted into the transformation and reorganization of the labour process, one can no longer assume that a socialist revolution could simply replace the relations of production with other ones after reaching a certain level of productive forces. Since the 'productive forces of capital' that emerge through the real subsumption are materialized and crystalized in the capitalist mode of production, they disappear together with the capitalist mode of production. In this sense, we need to radically reverse the traditional historical materialist view about the actual relationship between productive forces and relations of production: 'Relations of production determine productive forces' (Tairako 1991).

This is how the establishment of the concepts of 'productive forces of capital' and 'real subsumption' compelled Marx to abandon his earlier formulation of historical materialism in the preface to A Contribution. Since both aspects of Form and Stoff are closely entangled with each other due to the real subsumption of the labour process it is not possible to change one without simultaneously changing the other. This complexity would not occur if the productive forces of capital were simply dependent upon machines. They could be utilized in socialism as before. However, the productive forces developed under capitalism are tightly connected to the uniquely capitalist way of organizing the collaborative, cooperative and other social aspects of labour. If so, the transcendence of the capitalist mode of production must be a much more radical and thoroughgoing one than the mere abolition of private property and exploitation through the re-appropriation of the means of production by the working class. It requires the radical reorganization of the relations of production for the sake of freedom and autonomy among associated producers, so that the productive forces of capital disappear. Otherwise, despotic and ecologically destructive forms of production will continue in post-capitalist society. Yet when the productive forces of capital disappear, the productive forces of social labour are diminished as well.

Kohei Saito, Marx In The Anthropocene

[soaringthoughts]

:: A MISFORTUNE'S VESSEL. (chapter 2)

[ lowercase intended. ] a misfortune's vessel : chapter 2/? chapter - 1 PAIRINGS: aqua hoshino x reader

A/N: I actually didn’t expect for people to see and read my work, but here we go! School just finished for me and I just graduated so I've been very busy for the past month and wasn't able to update.

I procrastinated too much on this.. But now I finally finished it. ╰(❁´◡`❁)╯

word count: 3492 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it felt as though time had flown. you're glad that your body is finally capable of self care.

what relieves you the most is that you finally reached the age where people wouldn't suspect you for walking and talking.

it didn't take long before you can finally stand up on your own two feet, you've always sworn to never leave your crib at all rather than do all the crawling.

everything changed, however, when the news regarding Ai reached you.

you didn't get to hear an ounce of it from Miyako. but due to Ai's popularity, the news spread like wildfire all across the internet.

you were devastated. Ai passing away was the least thing you'd expect to receive after not hearing from her for years.

it made you wonder, what about Aqua and Ruby?

you can't gather the wits to ask Miyako about it. perhaps letting her recover from it would be the wiser decision.

over the past years since the incident, you barely got any attention from your parents.

Saito deserted his responsibilities. he spiraled into depression and disappeared from the company grounds. perhaps it was because of what happened to Ai.

it was all so sudden that Miyako was forced to be bombarded with these responsibilities, which only occupied more of her time so you barely got a chance to see her.

you are often alone at home, well at least that's how you felt. Saito stayed with you, but he would often lock himself up in his room and only come out to eat or use the bathroom.

hell, he even wastes his time on drinking alcohol and only gives you money just so you could take care of yourself.

Miyako, however, thought that this was bad parenting and so she decided to leave you with a babysitter.

you were upset as to why her, your own mother, is out there taking care of other children instead of her own daughter.

but you were considerate enough to understand that she's still working for strawberry productions which concludes of being present at her workplace most of the time.

but despite all that, you still managed to graduate from primary school and live your life as it is.

you are currently a highschooler. and for this next school year, you are struck by the decision of whether to take general or entertainment program for your new school.

you've always wanted to be an iconic idol like Ai but after hearing Miyako's opinion regarding this matter, you've decided to just pursue being an average student.

she didn't sound too supportive of it, especially after what happened to Ai.

being an idol really does have its ups and downs.

“I'm going.” not sounding too optimistic, Miyako was concerned by your well-being.

“I'll give you a ride.” Miyako snatched her car keys from the kitchenette's counter, accompanying you outside the house to head for the car.

normally, the atmosphere between you two is awkward. perhaps it's due to the relationship you both have and from the times that you two barely spend time together.

but today seemed different. unlike before, Miyako seemed to be more talkative around you after the disagreement you had regarding being an idol.

“I'm sorry, [Name].” Miyako tried to clear the atmosphere. but the rest of the ride was in silence, almost deafening at that.

you didn't have any response to this. you had already given up from the start, or so you thought.

taking things slow, that's your current objective.

“I believe in you, good luck.” as soon as you arrived at the destination, you stepped out of the car.

brushing a hair strand to tuck it behind your ears, Miyako's lips lifted into a bittersweet smile. perhaps it was due to her stress. but despite that, you took her smile all whole-heartedly.

“Thank you, mom.” with the return of a heartwarming smile, Miyako gave you a gentle squeeze of a hug before you head inside.

the school didn't look all too fancy, it didn't look all too good-for-nothing either. just an average school to be precise.

the clanks of your shoes reverberated through the school halls as you made your way inside.

the campus looked almost empty, but you were still passing by a few students throughout the way. perhaps they were also here for the enrollment.

you fixated your gaze over the plates of each classroom you are passing by to look for the general program you'll enroll in. it didn't take long, you eventually stumbled upon the said room as you lined yourself up with the students who also seemed to be here for this strand.

there was nothing special about the area. the building was simply structured and barely furnished. the atmosphere was dull. but perhaps it's because it's a new opened school.

as you got done signing the papers and passing the qualifications and requirements for your enrollment, which took a toll of time, you returned outside the halls and started heading back into the direction from where you came from to head back home.

it was quick, the long line was what kept you in.

unlike earlier, the sun seemed to shine brighter now. the rays of it reflected through the hall windows and over your figure. it was almost blinding.

you were able to see the hallways more properly. now that it's lit up, it actually doesn't look that bad.

you made your way throughout the area, standing out in your proper school attire and your bag slinged in your back.

your mind was stirred with your current emotions of what you feel about your upcoming school year. your mood swinging from both anticipation and nervousness at the same time. even though it's just the same strand you chose in your past life.

almost drowning in your thoughts, you didn't notice the group of people you bumped on. specifically a girl that's facing the opposite direction.

they seemed to be arguing about something, or maybe that's what you thought.

“Oh?- are you alright?” the girl was startled and swiftly turned around to check you out. luckily, it was just a small bump so you managed to stay on your ground.

you were in daze by the familiarity of her voice. you blinked a couple of times to clear your sight, before taking in the figure of the girl, along with two other people with her.

the two that were right in front of you were lookalikes despite the opposite genders they are, they must be identical twins.

as for the other girl on their back, she was immediately silenced by the sight. she had scarlet orbs and hair locks unlike the two.

you felt the guy's gaze dart at you, as if examining your features. “..[Name]?” as well as the girl, the guy's voice also seemed all too familiar.

you were surprised by how he knew your name. and that's when it finally rang a bell, it was Aqua and Ruby.

“You guys..” was all you managed to mutter. you were still in shock by the sudden encounter. you didn't expect that you'd reunite with them here, out of all places.

considering the school attire they are also in, it was obvious that they are also enrolled for this school.

you can say that nothing much changed. they were still the twins that you knew.

Aqua is still as stoic as ever. his phlegmatic tone remains the same. Ruby, still a bundle of joy, much to your surprise.

Unlike Aqua, Ruby is still as talkative as ever when comparing the two, “Aw, is that all you have to say? it has been years!” to your surprise, the two seemed to still get along with you despite not seeing each other for years.

you indulged in a small conversation, mostly about updating yourselves about what happened over the years of being separated.

“So, what program did you take?” just as Aqua had decided to chime in, the atmosphere immediately shifted from someone clearing their throat. done on purpose.

that's when you remembered that the two were also with someone else.

“I'm still here, you know.” said the 'unknown' girl to ease the atmosphere, almost feeling bad for leaving her in the dark from the reunion of you three.

she had red locks with a length that extends to the central of her neck. as well as cerise doe eyes that somehow resembles Ruby's, which complements to the color scheme of her hair.

she had a navy blue beret on, unlike you, Ruby, and the rest of the females in the school. making her stand out.

“Well.. this is kind of a personal matter, [Name] is a friend that we haven't seen for years.”

you didn't expect for Aqua to respond, but you were glad that he is finally somehow being more open than letting Ruby do all the talking.

this earned a scoff from the girl, a name that is still unknown. “Maybe let me chime in at least.. maybe we can get along.”

although you appreciated the fact that this girl was willing to talk with you, you can't help but wonder if she only said that so she wouldn't feel left out.

setting your thoughts aside, you decided to conversate anyway.

“I'm [name].” there was no need for formalities, and so you decided to just simply introduce yourself by letting her know your name. you're awkward at starting conversations after all.

“I'm Kana!”

and without a word, the girl, who is named Kana now that you knew, slipped in between the twins to close the distance between the two of you.

she abruptly dragged you by the arm with a gentle grip, turning you two away from the twins as she whispered in your ear, “So.. are you and Aqua dating?”

this question caught you off guard, especially from someone you've barely met for an hour. not even for 15 minutes.

“huh? no, we're not.” you whispered back in a sheepish manner. you didn't even know why this girl, who is practically still a stranger, would ask this.

the situation was overly awkward. you felt the eyes of the twins watching both of you from behind.

“Really?” Kana exclaimed with a hint of enthusiasm in her tone, her voice now more audible that it was probably heard by the other two. shortly after the realization sinks in, she immediately clears her throat to brush the awkward atmosphere off.

“I- I mean, really?” she followed with her voice now less excited than before to cover her excitement up.

the two of you then turned back around after clearing Kana's question up, now facing the twins once more.

the twins glanced at each other's faces as if communicating by thoughts, confusion evident in their expressions. “What was that about?” asked Ruby, staring at the two of you intently.

“Nothing!~” said Kana, with the brightest smile on her face. “Don't tell them I asked you that, okay?” she whispered once more, in which you gave a nod of approval. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“For how long are you two going to keep on following me?” Aqua remarked in his usual tone.

― “Until you answer all my questions!” said Kana.

― “I'm not. I'm headed in the same direction.”

he simply hummed at the difference of your responses, spiced with a hint of displease from Kana's perseverance.

the two went on in their way with a small conversation, although it was mostly Kana just bombarding Aqua with questions.

you were headed for the same path as Aqua, it just happened that your destination was the same route as his.

throughout the entire conversation of the two, you were quiet. but you couldn't help but pique curiosity from their topic, especially from how persistent Kana is to suggest Aqua to continue acting.

so he used to be an actor? a child one at that. or so you thought.

“I'm headed that way, see you two.” you pointed in the opposite direction of two paths you three came across. this time, your route is now different from what they are taking. so you decided to inform them of your route before parting your ways.

“Wait! Why don't you come with us, [Name]? Aqua and I were just planning for a hangout so you might as well come,”

you abruptly stopped on your tracks from hearing Kana. you then turned around to face them again, an inviting expression on Kana's face in contrast to Aqua's impassive ones.

“No we're not.” Aqua remarked,

“Come on, Aqua! you haven't seen us both for a very long time!”

“My destination is not somewhere that will keep you two entertained.”

“As long as the three of us can hold a conversation..”

“Fine.”

it took a chunk of Kana's convincing before finally persuading Aqua into it. it made you wonder as to how she can even handle his unexpressive attitude.

she waved her hand at you to call you back. and so you decided to come along since you were free after all.

“Oh, Kana Arima. I haven't seen you in so long― and..? Aqua's girlfriend?”

almost choking from your own saliva, you cleared your throat awkwardly and as well as Aqua. do old people just often ask the most off-putting questions and embarrassing things?

“No, we're not. I'm a friend. That happened to end up here for a hangout.” you emphasized the word 'hangout', as if not expecting for it to occur in some strange old man's room. you didn't even know the guy.

with a chuckle, the man twisted his chair to face you three. “I see, I see. I was kidding.”

“That wasn't very funny..” said Kana who was patting your back to ease you from the coughing, the situation almost dramatic.

the room was then eventually beaming with a light atmosphere as you all conversed with general topics regarding your lives. such as school, relationships, and.. acting, which you cannot relate to.

but despite that, you all got along despite you just meeting the other two this day.

a while after for what seemed like an hour, you four were invited to dinner by an elderly woman that barged into the room, in which you all complied.

the dining table was in silence as you all fixated your attention on the food. but the silence was also broken from time to time with short paced conversations.

“So you still live off your parents, Director.” Kana remarked in the most casual tone.

'that wasn't his wife?..' you thought to yourself. it was bizarre to think about now that Kana mentioned it.

the dinner went on with them talking about the careers they used to have with acting. it seems that Kana was still in it, unlike Aqua who apparently already quit a long time ago.

of course, they made sure to include you in as well, asking you about your route in life and as well as your interest in acting.

and so you just found out that the man used to be a director.

hell, Kana even suggested you to be an actress with her.

she really is a persistent person. she even offered to give you a training after excusing yourself that you're not fond of acting. she seemed really desperate to have a friend with her.

if only they knew how talentless you were in your past life.

but that was in the past.. right?

even so, that fact deteriorated your self-esteem despite living in a new body that is probably way better than your previous one.

it didn't take long before the sun went down. only then you realized that you spent too much time in the hangout.

Miyako must be worried by now..

as you three dismissed yourself from the director's house, Kana parted her way. her dorm was in the opposite direction unlike you who's headed for the same destination with Aqua, which is the bus station.

the walk was quiet, considering the two of you are not fond of idle chit-chatting. but of course, the tension was less awkward with a few chats.

shortly after reaching the bus station, the both of you sat on the bench.

the next bus was the last, so it's only good that you two made it in time.

the surroundings were dark. the moonlight barely lit the ground, the only light source being the flickering street lamp that was beside the bench.

“I didn't know you did acting.” you suddenly commented to put a halt to the silence.

“Not for long. It's not my course.” Aqua simply remarked. he was still a tad replier up until now.

you were slightly taken in by surprise. throughout the hangout with Kana complimenting his skills, you didn't expect him to actually dislike acting.

“So you didn't take entertainment program?”

“I took general program. I wasn't even fit to act in the first place.”

“Shame.. I would've liked to see you perform.”

“Enough about me. You took the general program too, right?”

your face shifted into one of intrigue at Aqua's response. it was nice to finally have a talk with him after hours of just awkward greetings. much to your surprise, now that you two were alone.

“I did. It would be a good coincidence if we end up in the same batch!” this earned a hum from Aqua, not showing any signs of displease of having you as a classmate.

“Hm, you're right. But it seems less likely to happen considering the amount of those that applied.”

just as you two were finally conversing once again, the moment was interrupted when the bus had finally arrived.

you two rose up from your seats to quickly head inside, not wasting any matter of second in order to not miss the bus.

the vehicle immediately drove off as you two got in despite not even getting a seat. this caused you to almost stumble, in which you managed to stay on ground by holding onto a pole and with Aqua's hands firmly grasped in your arms from behind.

“Thank you―” you sheepishly remarked, returning with a simple nod from Aqua.

you two got further inside the bus, only realizing that all the seats were full.

that must be why the driver immediately drove off, because there were no seats left available.

just then, the driver abruptly stomped the brake, causing the both of you to stumble once again.

good thing the both of you were strong enough to stay on your grounds.

as the bus stopped, one passenger left his seat as he left the bus for his stop. the bus drove off again shortly after.

you two eyed the seat.

“You sit.” said Aqua, gently shoving you closer to the available seat. of course you couldn't refuse due to how exhausted you are from the day.

as you sat, Aqua stood beside you as he held onto the bus hanger for support.

the ride was surprisingly long. and the silence was frequently broken with small talks.

you shared stories, emotions, and laughter― well, something Aqua didn't reciprocate to say the least.

he was still as stoic as ever. but that's what makes him recognizable from all the people you know. and somehow, with that distinctive demeanor of his, it reminds you of someone. 'what was his name again?..' you couldn't quite remember his name, but his face was still as clear as skies in your mind. all that you know is that it was someone in your past life.

it didn't take long before you reached your stop. you were first to get off the bus before Aqua.

“See you, Aqua.” you waved your goodbye and rose up from your seat, stealing one last glance on him.

“See you, [Name].” he returned. as you eyed your gaze on him, you noticed the faint smile that lifted up on his lips. one you've never seen from him before.

maybe you only stereotyped him of not having emotions at all, that he's unexpressive.

now you found out that he actually is, well, except for his friends.

but with all those thoughts aside, you can't help but notice how good he looked with a smile. almost charismatic.

“You should smile more often. You'd get a lot of girls.” you playfully remarked with the smuggest look you had.

his face immediately shifted back into his neutral one, as if masking his smile. in which you found kind of funny.

“Is anyone going or not?” the driver eventually spoke, impatiently tapping his foot on the bus floor as if a sign to skip the stop if no one's going down.

not wasting anymore time, you quickly got off the bus. and with a few studs of walk, you finally arrived back at home. mind at ease from having to reunite with your friend. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @lumiriai, @miyakoa, @dododododooosworld, @kimiko-the-angel, @fukumiai, @kat-kaps, @karma-gisa

[theelderhazelnut]

15 lines

Tagged by dear @bihanspookies @voidika @nightbloodbix @aceghosts @inafieldofdaisies <3

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

“That night, I abandoned the human in me.”

“Do you always talk this much?”

“You will kill me, but I won’t be dead. There are thousands of me out there ready to turn your world upside down.” Leaning closer, her empty stare intensified. “I infected their minds like a deadly disease. For which you will never be able to make a vaccine because it’s always evolving.”

“You will do just as I say!” She slapped him before aggressively cupping his chin. “No ifs and buts. Do you understand?!”

“Fool.”

“Oh,” Her gaze dropped down. “You remembered.”

“I will burn them in the same fire they burnt my dreams.”

“An intelligent demon who knows exactly how to put together his words. Displays symptoms of depression. Hides his true self well behind that…smirk. He is considerably difficult to read.” “Do you like him?” “No. I like his brain.”

“Boring. Next.”

“Every one of them will bow to me.”

“Good boy.”

“I could buy your whole life, so know your place.”

“I am Ombra the fucking Ironhead.”

She buried her face in his chest. “Hold me, please.”

“A very white candy. You’ll be my dessert tonight.”

Writing Taglist (to be added/removed): @vivilovespink @scentedcandleibex @darialovesstuff @confidentandgood @spacestephh @takiisieju-moved @carlosoliveiraa @gearvmac @bloody-arty-myths @zoetheneko @hi-thisiszira @admin-pipes @mitsuko-saito @malewifefirestar @elderglocks @krysta-cross @cassietrn @breakfwest @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @ninibear3000 @sinclxirx @gavincruikshanksexhusband @orbitinytheworld @strangefable @cloudofbutterflies92 @valyrra @simonxriley @thedeadthree and you!

[valerileygreen]

Despite Cobb being the one who insisted on the job and assembled the team, Arthur is the real glue of the group that keeps all of them together. Or most of them at least.

Because we see Saito mostly talking with just Cobb, and we never see Yusuf interact with anyone outside of a strictly professional relationship. We only infer his friendship with Eames by the fact that they knew each other already , but that's that, and he was argusbly in a weird position, having to keep Cobb's secret about the compound and what not, so socializing probably wasn't high in his list of priorities.

And yet, even with Yusuf, Arthur is the only character other than Eames (which he knew already) who feels it's alright to tease him for making his dream level rain. That little comedic scene between the 2 of them is a little treasure, that speaks, to me at least, of how comfortable the 3 have become with each other while testing the compounds. So Arthur, who had never seen Yusuf before, manages to strike up some sort of bond with the elusive chemist.

Then we have Arthur & Cobb. Their bond is pretty self-explanatory, Arthur is established as Cobb's friend and right-hand man since the very beginning, though we see that bond starting to crack under the pressure of the situation; and Arthur also knew Mal and thought she was lovely, so there's that too.

Arthur is also Ari's mentor and the one she can rely on for information and for stability in a way. They spent time alone and formed a bond of respect and trust and appreciation in that time. We don't see her interact one-on-one with anyone else but Arthur and Cobb, and with Cobb she was actually the one who helped him, and she did it by sheer stubborness against his resistence, but Arthur was the one team member she could go to when she was the one who needed help.

And last but not least, Arthur's relationship with Eames. It's romantic, we all believe it, the subtext is mind-blowing. But even without considering that aspect, they've been built as two characters with history, two characters that definitely knew each other from before and had already formed some sort of bond between them. It can also be inferred Arthur’s presence is at least one of the reasons Eames accepted the job, and Cobb made sure to mention him for that exact reason. They argued and bantered most of their screentime together, but they clearly enjoyed the interaction. If there was any real animosity it wouldn't have been so schoolboy-ish playful, or they would have ignored each other, instead the job prep is like 80% them. And if that wasn't enough there are those beautiful beautiful scenes that hint of some deeper actual friendship between them, the 'darling' one, and especially the 'security's gonna run you down hard', which spoke of actual care between them behind all the bluster of their relationship as we saw it till that moment. (but I'm digressing a little here)

No other character has such clear interactions with everyone else, only Arthur takes the time to get to know everyone, because to pull off a job like that, any job actually since they go into each other's minds, there needs to be a modicum of trust. And yes maybe he took that time for professional ethic, because he likes to run a smooth household, or because he needs to see if people really are trustworthy, or maybe it's just Arthur being Arthur, but he's still the only one who cared enough to take the time to get to know everyone and form a bond, tying them all together by more than a paycheck.

[cylikaart]

BN AU - Spirit

Of course he will be apart of it. Though more working on the background. He is Saito's part of the human that deceased.

They split apart and life a part of the Net beyond the Graveyard where his domain is. He is very protective of his "younger siblings"

The Wisps and the Souls of the fallen Navis are his family that he protects. Not only his younger siblings even the Souls itselfs.

This is an shared AU with @techypotatoartist !

[absolutebirth]

READ THIS POST ON NEOCITIES AT ABSOLUTEBIRTH.NEOCITIES.ORG

Absolute Destinty: Analysis is a biweekly blog analysing Revolutionary Girl Utena as a I conduct my third watch-through in summer 2024. My three priorities are to A) create a guide suitable for following along with a first watchthrough which is spoiler-free enough to not have the show spolied but which might highlight hints toward the cumulative storyline, B) knit together a full analysis of Utena which tackles the show's main themes, with an emphasis on my personal interests of surveillance, spectacle, and power, or the questions who sees? what do they see? and who decides? and C) maintain a section at the end of each blog post with the intent of pointing out, for people who are on their second or third watchthroughs, my favorite allusions to the End of the World.

Each post will be, following my favorite quote from the episode, split into 7 sections:

Episode Summary: what it says on the tin

A Wider Gaze: An attempt to put this episode into the wider view of the show as a whole, contextualizing the development of characters, themes, and relationships in Ohtori academy, and then taking that wide view of the show and applying it to the world as we live it-- the world outside of Ohtori academy.

Institutionalized: Drawing from The Shawshank Redemption (1994), here we look at how the characters in each episode have found themselves embedded in Ohtori, enacting actions against their own better interests for fear of leaving behind a comfortable confinement.

The Eye That Fucks the World: Donna Harraway describes ubiquitous surveillance as "the god-trick of seeing everywhere from nowhere" and goes on to say that "this eye fucks the world." Revolutionary Girl Utena is a story about being watched, not only by the viewer on the other side of the camera but, as we will eventually find, by another eye-- which certainly has intentions to fuck the world. Here we see how this ethos of watching and being watched plays out, episode to episode.

Who Decides Who Decides?: Ohtori is a world of power. As the student council squabbles, power shifts between them are some of the most significant developments in each episode. Here, we check in with the power balance, what changes it, and what that means for both Utena and Utena.

Saito Solace: A piece of Saito's manga art from The Gallery At Empty Movement, to finish off the spoiler-free section of the post.

(SPOILERS) The End of the World: The section for those in the know and my kicking-my-feet giggled realizations about the clues Ikuhara leaves us throughout the first 35 episodes. I don't want to say too much here, because I don't want someone who isn't looking for it to read too much, but suffice to say that Utena is certainly one of those stories where hindsight is 20-20.

In terms of my own background, Utena related and otherwise: I was born and raised in the northern Midwestern United States and moved out east for college, where I'm majoring in "data economy" (a self-made amalgamation of economics and computer science) and ethics. I was into anime in high school, mostly grew away from my obsession, but recently viscerally remembered the awe inspiring masterpiece that is Utena and decided it was probably once again time to think about Anthy at least twelve hours a day. My favorite other pieces of media are Disco Elysium, Against Me!'s album Transgender Dysphoria Blues, Don Delilio's novel White Noise, Infinite Jest, Neutral Milk Hotel's In an Aeroplane Over the Sea... in terms of other seminal pieces of lesbian liturature, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe and everything by Alison Bechdel, but especially Dykes to Watch Out For.

My favorite Utena characters are and always have been Mikage, Anthy, Nanami, and Saionji (in that order) but I hold a soft spot for every single one of them and the spider-thin lines connecting them emotionally and thematically. I believe thinking about the duelists in terms of right and wrong or our id-pol concepts of oppression hinders a reading of the show, just as a flat understanding of those things hinders meaningful connections and community building across the false lines the patriarchy creates, so I generally find myself more sympathetic to Touga, Mikage, and Saionji than others may be. Finally: I suspect, although I haven't cracked their code, that the Nanami episodes are the most significant in the entire show.

The first post, for the first episode, will be posted this Wednesday, May 22nd, 2024.

[talesofedo]

Shinsengumi Japanese zodiac.

(I used a Zodiac calculator to figure out the zodiac for each person based on their birthday, and pulled info about the zodiac traits from two different websites.)

Kondo Isami (9 Nov 1834)

Horse 午. Horses are cheerful, sociable, and decisive. They are also versatile and excel in many fields, but tend to get bored easily and leave things unfinished. They do not like to work for other people because they appreciate their freedom. They never let opportunities pass, although sometimes they tend to be a bit imprudent. They exhibit a vain streak and are big spenders. Horses are skillful in paying compliments, likely to get into trouble for a slip of the tongue, and quick to catch on to a trend.

Hijikata Toshizo (31 May 1835)

Sheep 未. Sheep are caring, considerate, sympathetic, and cherish friendship. They always seek out other people. They are endowed with artistic talent, and are passionate in whatever they do and believe in. They are also noble and generous. However, they can be sensitive and tend to worry unnecessarily over small matters. Sheep are keen to learn new things, always complaining, and often suffer from insomnia.

Sannan Keisuke (5 Feb 1833)

Snake 巳. Snakes are deep thinkers, great observers, and possess tremendous wisdom. Snakes think things through before speaking. They do not like conflicts, and get along with anyone. However, their tendency to avoid conflict can put them under considerable stress. They can be overly logical, distrustful, or jealous. Snakes are fortunate in money matters, have introverted natures and are sometimes not good at expressing themselves. Snakes take failures very personally.

Okita Soji (8 July 1842)

Tiger 寅. Tigers are proud, courageous, and generous. Being decisive and quick-witted, they are potentially great leaders. They are very competitive; they don't give up, and they really like the feeling of winning. On the negative side, they do not like to follow orders, can cause interpersonal friction with others, and can impulsively act on their emotions. Tigers do not make plans, sometimes fail due to overconfidence, and have great sympathy for those they are close to and love.

Saito Hajime (18 Feb 1844)

Dragon 辰. Dragons are energetic, brave, honest, and can inspire trust in almost everyone. They are ambitious in their self-improvement, charismatic, and confident. However, they are also short-tempered and very competitive, so they tend to have as many enemies as friends. Dragons work better as individuals than in groups and speak their mind without reservations. They always help the weak.

... And for good measure, the zodiac for Okada Izo as well, since he's kind of taken over my tumblr.

Okada Izo (14 Feb 1838)

Dog 戌. Dogs are patient, strong-willed, and honest. They have a strong sense of duty and loyalty, and always strive to succeed. They are the protectors of their family and friends. However, they are also very stubborn, and do not like to admit their own faults. Dogs tend to easily get into negatives thoughts, but they can be trusted with secrets and inspire confidence in others.

[glatisant-questing]

Saito's Short Story from the Manyo no Shou Special Edition Booklet

Saito’s story is simply hilarious and I greatly enjoyed translating it. Have fun reading this one! 🥰 (All the emoji/kaomoji are my own additions. They are not in the original text.)

(This is… What should I do?! 〣( ºΔº )〣) 

On a certain afternoon, I was asked by Vice Commander Hijikata to summon Yukimura  Chizuru. I went to her room and called out to her through the shoji. Since there was no answer, I called out again just in case, and opened the door. And then there was the sight of Yukimura sleeping with an innocent, baby-like face.

 (Why is she sleeping when it’s still bright outside?) 

She never napped at this time of the day, at least not since she started living at the Shinsengumi headquarters.

 (She must be tired from all the hustle and bustle recently, with the moving of the headquarters and the new recruits joining the Shinsengumi. But how defenseless she is, falling asleep like this. There are many soldiers in this headquarters who don’t know her true identity…) 

Anyway, since the Vice Commander told me to summon her, I have to wake her up. 

(She looks so comfortably asleep. I feel a bit sorry to wake her up) 

“Hmm… cough.” 

I coughed first and waited for her to wake up, but——

“zzz…” 

She didn’t seem to wake up, and just kept breathing, relaxed in her sleep. 

In that case—

“Hmm… cough.”

I decided to cough louder than before. But still, I couldn’t feel any sign of her waking up.

(Why won’t she wake up? If it was the usual Yukimura, she would wake up right away. Could it be that she is way too exhausted?) 

If that’s the case, I am reluctant to force her to wake up and take her to the Vice Commander. 

(Then, what should I do…? Should I go back to the Vice Commander’s room and report the situation as it is?) 

But I immediately dismissed that idea. 

(No, I can’t do that. If I tell the Vice Commander the truth, he might say “What is she doing, sleeping at this time?” and scold Yukimura.) 

But still, even if I did make a sound, she didn’t seem to wake up. 

(Then… do I have no choice but to shake her awake?)

I thought that and reached out to her, but…

“Hmm…” 

Yukimura stirred slightly with her eyes closed, so I hastily backed away and kept enough distance to avoid being misunderstood. 

“S-sorry! I’ll have you know, I wasn’t thinking of anything shady. The Vice Commander told me to come and get you!”

I hurriedly tried to explain why I was here, but… 

“Hmm, hmm…?” 

At that moment, Yukimura’s eyelids twitched slightly. I realized that I had woken her up because I was loud and couldn’t help but regret it inwardly. 

Soon, Yukimura’s eyes opened and she looked at me with a dazed gaze.

“Ah, Saito-san? Why are you here…” 

Yukimura’s big eyes blinked several times. 

Driven by the urgency to explain why I was here, I blurted out. 

“I never meant to intrude here with ill intentions! I apologize for entering your room without permission, but I called out to you once from behind the door—no, twice. But since there was no reply, I just opened the shoji to check on you! Do you understand what I’m saying?🥺” 

“Y-yes! I understand. I’m sorry for not noticing your presence sooner.” 

Yukimura bowed her head in embarrassment.

Seeing her like that, I felt rather guilty instead. 

“No… you don’t have to apologize.” 

“No, that’s not…” 

Yukimura just bowed her head and the conversation came to an end.

 (This is bad. This is not Yukimura’s fault. Why can’t I handle this situation well? At least, I have to tell her that she’s not to blame.) 

As I muttered words of self-reproach in my mind, I noticed that Yukimura was staring at me. 

“What is it?” I asked.

“Ah… Saito-san, you had something to tell me, right?” 

With that question, I finally remembered why I came here.

“Ah, the Vice Commander said he had something to tell you. Probably, he wants to hear about the progress of the treatment of the soldier who was injured the other day.” 

“I see. Then, I’ll hurry over. Thank you for letting me know.” 

Yukimura said that and bowed her head slightly. 

“I’ve delivered the message. Well, I’m going now.” 

I said that and stood up. 

But just before leaving the room, I thought to myself.

 (Isn’t it too unsympathetic to leave the room like this?)

Even though I had to do what I just did, it’s a fact that I entered Yukimura’s room without permission. I apologized earlier, but I don’t know if my apologies have been conveyed properly.

“…Saito-san?” 

Yukimura’s voice came from behind me, as if she felt something was wrong with me standing still at the door and not moving.

I glanced back and saw Yukimura’s face looking up at me with a worried expression. I told her this.

 “It’s fine to take a nap since you must be very tired recently, but in that case, you should at least cover yourself with a haori or something similar. You’re the one who’s responsible for the health of the soldiers now, so it would be bad if you caught a cold.” 

The moment I finished speaking, I was tormented by regret, thinking that I should have said something nicer. 

But Yukimura…

“Yes, thank you, Saito-san. I’ll be careful from now on.” 

She said that with a sincere expression and bowed her head.

“Uh, um… well then. See you.”

I left that one word behind and finally left Yukimura’s room.

Then, as I was walking down the hallway– 

“Hey, Hajime-kun? What are you doing there?” 

I heard Souji’s voice from behind and froze on the spot. As I turned around, I said. 

“Souji… I just came to deliver a message to Yukimura.” 

“Oh… it seems to be a pretty long message, though😏.” 

I don’t know how much he saw what happened, but I swear, I… 

“Let me tell you, what I did just now was only to convey a message from the Vice Commander to Yukimura. There was nothing suspicious about it at all.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll let you have it your way.” 

He said in a tone that sounded like he was snickering, and then started walking. 

“Wait!! It’s not ‘letting me have it my way’! I’m simply telling the truth! Listen to me, Souji!” 

After that, I explained the situation to Souji in detail, but it was of no avail. 

(The end.)

[wia-tia]

Hikaru loves his children.

[3]

This is part of a series, you don’t need to read the others, but it might add some extra context:

Part [0]: main post

Part [1]: Hikaru’s motivations

Random intermezzo

Part [2]: Hikaru’s relationship with Yura, Nino, Ryosuke

Part [3]: Hikaru's relationship with Aqua & Ruby

I think his affection for Aqua and Ruby is hinted at throughout the manga. For example, in the interviews (I assume he did all of them) he probes after their lives, wellbeing and early careers. He seems to have followed them for a while and speaks kindly to them, which I think means that he has genuine fatherly feelings for them that are veiled by a sense of guilt. Ai felt like she could raise the kids together with him, which makes me think he would be able to if he was in a better mental position.

Interviews:

The idea that all the interviews might be Hikaru’s is really interesting. This suggests that he has been keeping tabs on his children to know how they’re doing, showing his affection for them and his timid nature that has been shown in the movie.

In his first interview with Ruby, he is aware that this is her first acting job. He asks her how she feels about it, a question that feels normal for an interview yet caring. In an interview with Miyako, he asks what it’s like to manage the twins and if they’re geniuses, a term Ai used to describe them. Notably, Miyako is referred to as [manager] and not mother, which makes it seem like he doesn’t see her as their mother. Hikaru is also interested in Ai’s legacy. He questions a fan about idols they’ve liked, probably probing for Ai. The otaku recalls Ai’s concert where the twins did the dance and, in the anime, she receives a bouquet of white roses before it. This connects that concert to Hikaru.

Outside of Miyako, he also interviews other central figures to the twins’ life, meaning he knows their closest relationships. He congratulates Gotanda and, indirectly, asks what Aqua & Ruby were like as children. In Kana’s interview, he asks about her reputation as a genius actress, nothing interesting though he shows an awareness of her connection to the twins and maybe tries to understand why she matters to them. He asks a kindergarten teacher about the twins and once again asks if they’re gifted. Hikaru knows where the kids attended school, meaning he has been keeping tabs on them for a while.

It’s interesting that he interviewed Saito before the movie. He asks about Ichigo’s management regarding Ai and I think he indirectly asks why he is a fisherman instead of managing Ichigo Production, which I think alludes to his interest in those connected to Ai. This could also be a reason why Ichigo is angry at the interviewer and why he instantly shuts Aqua’s “my father is dead” down.

Hikaru’s relationship with Aqua

I think he’s supposed to represent a dark mirror to Aqua, reflecting a path Aqua might have taken had he lacked the family and friends who kept him grounded. I think the ending of the manga may change this stance of mine :(((((((. While Aqua has loved ones, Hikaru lost Ai, Seijuro (Seijuro-senpai), Airi (Airi-san), Ryosuke (Ryosuke-kun) and Yura. They all differ in effect and closeness and if they actually helped him but they were people he leaned on. Though Nino is still in his life, I think he stays more out of guilt than a close trusting friendship (Kamiki-san < - > Nino-kun), especially for, in his view, taking Ai and maybe Ryosuke away from her. Guilt drives both Hikaru and Aqua, but in contrast to Aqua whose relationship give him more resilience, Hikaru doesn’t have anyone. Can't really say this anymore because of the last few chapters; but we'll see how it goes. I'm still processing them. I had a more positive outlook of the manga's ending, when I wrote this in the past few weeks, than I do now, sadly :((.

Aqua’s self-sacrificing tendencies, his sense of being a burden and his preference to do things without asking for help even when he needs it, mirrors Ai more. I hope he’ll overcome that and not repeat the mistakes of the past generation. These last chapters are not helping this more positive interpretation :(((((. In chapter 152, Hikaru emphasises with Aqua and is curious behind the reason that Aqua lies towards him and bottles his feelings up. I think it’s quite interesting that he instantly sees through the lie, like Ai told him in the movie, lies don’t work on Hikaru if he doesn’t believe them already (which is similar to Ai [Ai did call him the same as her] -> she saw through his lies but never through her own lie that she wasn’t able to love others). His empathy and curiosity over Aqua’s lies suggest that he recognises his own emotional restraint in Aqua. In chapter 153, his eyes look quite emotional to Aqua’s promise of revenge almost like it’s a relief to him. This scene makes it feel as if he’s been waiting for Aqua’s hatred and considers it a fitting response to his actions.

During this chapter, he offers a seemingly honest review of the movie, using lines from chapter 1. He says that the love between him and Ai was only one-sided and that Ai didn’t love him twice (also in 154). He also implies he has never been loved by anyone else (“she was just like everyone else”). Showing that he didn't have anyone, in contrast to Aqua. 1He congratulates Aqua on fulfilling his wish and if revenge were Ai’s wish then he’ll accept it. 2He says he loved her from the bottom of his heart. 3He also says he is glad that he could finally talk to Aqua which indicates that he really wanted to for a while, which could be confirmed if the interviews are his. I think these last three points suggest a sincere paternal affection. This sentiment is also seen as he describes himself as a murderer, but still says that those last few sentences (his paternal feelings) are how he really feels, for no practical reason. So, I think he’s speaking the truth.

Despite his immoral actions, he doesn’t seem to resent the twins; at one point, he was willing to take care of them, marry Ai and be a family together. Hikaru’s sense of guilt over the past is evident. He blames himself for what happened with Airi and also Ai. It didn’t really help that Ai seemed to give his situation with Airi as another reason for her leaving (even though she just didn’t want to burden him with another child). He also mentions that he is willing to sacrifice his life for Ai out of the blue? I think this is why he’s fine with the revenge (his death) Aqua has, if that’s what Ai would’ve wanted.

He humanises Ai by describing her as a normal human being living a normal life where she was afraid, selfish and cruel, just an ordinary girl you could find anywhere. A direct contradiction to his previously established goal of preserving Ai’s memory by killing those who might surpass her and to immortalise them. I think this contradiction means that Hikaru’s guilt drives his actions. The previous stated reason seems to fit Nino’s reasonings more. When It’s revealed that the DVD is a love letter to him, he says that he will do what he can for Ai, which now I seriously wonder what that means. I think he wanted to fulfil Ai’s wish to save him by killing himself, which would stop everything, as he was at a random cliff at night. (What was he doing there, just watching Ruby’s concert at a cliff? For the ambiance?) Hikaru is called empty by the narrator, which I think is interesting, when you connect that to the song Fatal and what Airi said to him. It could be that guilt is the only thing he can feel now, which makes him feel alive and closer to Ai as he feels guilty for taking part in her death.

In the last few chapters, he invites Aqua to watch Ruby’s concert with him. He tells Aqua that they and Ai have eyes that make people believe you (also obey you), that deceive others and have charisma. Something also echoed by Kindaichi as having deceiving eyes. This is a trait that links them. He also says that he understands that it feels good to have an impact on people, yet we only see positive memories when Aqua thinks about this line, which makes me question what Hikaru thinks.

The distinction between white stars (wanting to love) and black stars (wanting to be loved) emphasise that Ruby wants to love everybody, even Hikaru in the way the panel frames him, despite Ruby saying she can’t forgive him in chapter 147. This is further supported in chapter 155 which says Ruby has forgiven him. I would’ve loved to see this more elaborated in the manga (but, unfortunately, this will probably never be mentioned again).

Later in that arc, Tsukiyomi says that Hikaru was obsessed with the idea that killing those who could surpass Ai would increase her significance, but we still haven’t seen where he got the idea from. It only explains why he waits till Ruby turns 18 and she “surpasses” Ai, to kill her. She also says that he manipulated those around him and that it is his destiny to try to kill Ruby. I find this fatalistic view quite weird and it clashes with Ruby and Aqua’s saying that they are looking towards the future by shaping it themselves. Hikaru’s intent to kill Ruby contradicts with his interactions with Aqua that show his desire for Aqua to have a good future. Why wouldn’t he want that for Ruby too?

In Hikaru and Aqua’s final confrontation, Hikaru says Ruby has no future but to wither and die. This comes out of nowhere. Does he want Aqua to kill him? Is this the reason he also sponsors the movie in chapter 138? He says that killing him would increase Ai’s significance. Is this because he would feel guilty if Aqua would kill him, because Aqua would be hurt in the process, even though he wouldn’t mind being dead? He does ask him if it’s really okay to kill and what would happen after that, hinting that he cares about the twins and that they should head for the future. He then gives some good points about Aqua becoming a murderer not being good for Ruby. Why would he care, if she’s going to wither and die??? Why would he care about the wish she told him in 147, if she will wither and die?? It’s almost as if he wants Aqua to be angry at him. He also calls Aqua smart and gives him reasons to live, which is cute if you ignore the context wherein he is provoking Aqua. Hikaru even seems happy that Aqua also thinks his life is valuable, like why would he if he didn’t give a flying fck about his kids. He’s only shocked when Aqua says he’ll throw that all away and he doesn’t even plead for his own life, he’s pleading for Ruby's reputation. Why would he do that once again if she’s going to wither and die? His reaction to Aqua stabbing himself ain’t satisfaction either. I think him saying stop at Aqua for pushing him down a cliff is a normal human reaction but could also be him in disbelief that Aqua threw his life away. During this confrontation, his words seem aimed more at Aqua’s well-being than at his own self-preservation. I think he didn't mind dying, but feels guilty that he, indirectly, dragged Aqua into death. I think his guilt plays the most important role here. That emotion is more tangible to him than any other emotion, giving him a sense of connection both to the dead and I think even to the living and thus his children.

In the sea, he grasps Aqua and I don’t think he is choking Aqua because the panels in front of that say he’s losing strength and he also has the disadvantage of being under Aqua, being forced down by gravity and the pressure of all the water on top of him. (Still kinda laughing at Aqua choking Hikaru UNDER WATER, he can’t breathe already, why choke him lmao). Hikaru also for some reason doesn’t want to die yet. (Does anyone have an idea why?) He only feels alive when he was with Ai. It’s as if he can only feel alive and feel her presence by using the weight of his burden, aka his guilt. He feels less guilt over time, so he needed to feel that guilt again. He does this by involving himself in murders. This motive might explain why he used Nino to kill because he would feel guilty for using her and it's more in line with his timid and formerly noble nature. He can’t bring himself to do those actions with his own hands. His final statement, “if I had killed Ruby”, came out of nowhere. When I read that line at first, I was like where does this come from? But now thinking more about it, I think he would’ve felt the closest to Ai when he would’ve made Ruby die because he would’ve felt the most guilt when killing his daughter which brings us to the next twin.

Hikaru’s relationship with Ruby

I believe Hikaru’s connection to Ruby is marked by guilt and genuine affection. I think he’d feel the most guilt for killing Ruby or being involved in her death, which would make him feel the most connected to Ai. I see this guilt as a sign that he did care about his children on some level. However, if he expected Nino to kill Ruby, why would he watch Ruby’s concert in the middle of nowhere even though she should’ve been dead by then? (If nobody surpassing Ai was the motivation, didn't he fail then, according to the manga's narrative?) After that call in chapter 158, Nino could act on her own, but if Nino didn’t work then what? Either he didn’t think this through or he knew Nino would get caught, which could mean he wanted to wrap it all up and maybe just kill himself at the cliff? I think he wanted to fulfil Ai’s wish to save him by killing himself, which would stop everything and fulfill her wish of saving him.

The first time we see him, Hikaru seems really happy to see Ruby and talks so gently about her. He almost displays fatherly affection, complementing her beauty and pointing out that she’s his and Ai’s daughter. Why would he compliment Ruby and emphasise that she’s his daughter? It’s strangely personal for someone who may want to kill her. Coupled that he knew Ruby’s name and done the interviews, it seems that Hikaru kept tabs on his children and wants to connect with them in some way.

Hikaru feels tender, when he offers the umbrella in chapter 146. [Just like Seijuro is making me :((((( ] In that scene, he asks Ruby if everything is okay and asks permission to share his umbrella. Why is he so polite? He admits to having thought about the question if something is right for a long time, which we see in the movie. He also expresses curiosity in Ruby’s true wish, what she wants to do and become, suggesting that he does care about her aspirations. He then compliments Ruby again and voices that Ruby’s life may be even more important than Ai’s. Hikaru seems sincere here and combined with at least one white star in his eyes, makes me really confused about his intentions. Does this white star signify a desire to love Ruby at that moment? Does he feel hope for the future? There is way too much room for multiple interpretations, which makes me inconclusive about his true intentions here, but I think it’s something positive.

Hikaru’s intentions grow even more confusing given that he knows both Nino and Akane are watching. Did he just want to touch Ruby or did he intend for Akane to intervene? Knowing Nino was there, perhaps he wanted her to hear Ruby’s ambition to surpass Ai, which might spur Nino to act on his behalf. However, if this was his goal, it’s odd that he has a white star. This contradiction suggests that, despite there being potential for manipulating Nino, Hikaru might still feel love for his children. If something were to happen to them, he would feel intense guilt, which he equates with closeness to Ai.

It’s really interesting if Ruby was a foil to him, much like Aqua. When Ruby displays a black star, her nature feels like her father’s: both have manipulated others, while keeping their hands clean. They both don’t fully seem to realise the harm in comparison to Aqua/Ai until later, with Ruby seeing herself as dirty because of it and Hikaru internalizing blame even for events he doesn’t have control over. Both characters also attach themselves to others for purpose (Aqua-Gorou/Ai). However, unlike Hikaru, I think Ruby has friends and family, that she made during the manga’s runtime, that can help her overcome this, but we don’t really see much of this in the manga yet.

In conclusion, I think his guilt keeps him tethered to Ai, but also to his children. I think so much about his character is still unclear, but that’s also what makes him fun to theorise about. What do you think?

Thank you for reading!

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