#Sad Chuuya
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And the truth is out
Summary: A shitty day at work seems like the end of the world until fate dropped something even more horrendous into your lap. OR the time you saw Chuuya cry,
Inspired by and dedicated to my friend: @chuuyaswifeandhoe Thank you sweetheart for letting me steal your idea and turn it into something less fluffy, and more bitter sweet <3. Hope you enjoy whatever my tipsy mind came up with in an hour.
PS: A Fenodyree is a supernatural creature often fairy or fae, often hairy and messy in appearance but with great strengths.
Warnings: Cursing, drinking, light angst rash decisions, guilt and tears,
Enjoy~ ______________________________________________________________
There was nothing like the relief you felt as you dragged your tired body through the front door; pulling one heavy leg in front of the other one. You tugged your bag somewhere behind you, dragging the large thing over the dirty ground. Your keys were dangling from a single finger, just long enough for you to get through the door and close it behind you, before they fell to the floor. You stared at them for a second, sighed, then continued with your task of coming home; you shrugged your coat off your shoulders before grasping it in one hand. Reaching a heavy arm up you attempted to hang it on its usual hook, but missed, making it drop to the floor in a messy pile.
Fuck it, let it be, you decided grimly and threw your bag on top of the coat as if that had been your intention from the very beginning. Then you kicked your shoes off, one landing on top of your coat sleeve while the other hit the shoe stand and bounced off it landing somewhere in the middle of the hallway.
Screw it too, you would be damned if you were going to go and deal with all that now.
Your feet padded against the wooden floors of your two storied mansion full of latest designs treds and expensive decorations. None of which you cared for at that very moment. Not having the energy to walk yourself upstairs to the bedroom, you moved towards the couch in the living room, grabbing one of Chuuya’s wines on your way. You flopped down inelegantly onto it and sat cross-legged as you fought with the cork, cursing the damned thing until it finally gave away. Then you tossed it somewhere in the general direction of the trashcan before you brought the bottle to your lips. A sweet red wine with just a hint of tartness filled your senses, a gentle comfort which reminded you of your fiance. Just as sweet as he was, and just as bitter as the distance between you.
How long was it since he left for a job in Hokkaido? A month? four months? At this point you had already lost count- each day feeling as bleak and fleeting at the previous one. Each moment was as sad as the one before. A mundane routine of work, home, chores and sleep.
Well not anymore.
The notion made you bring the bottle back to your lips and take another deep clunk. From tomorrow- no from that very evening your routines had changed. And you did not know how you were going to handle that. Half a bottle later you set it back onto the couch table and dropped more comfortably onto the familiar leather. Your eyes stared up into the ceiling, your body craved sleep while your mind refused to give you such mercy.
A tiny voice in your head purred how you got exactly what you deserved; this was what happened to someone as incompetent as yourself pretending to play at the grown-ups table. While another voice- much quieter one- tried to reassure you that everyone made mistakes now and again. Even if your mistakes were larger than most peoples and were definitely going to follow you until the end of your days. Competent adult, your ass, you mused to yourself. Finally closing your eyes as you felt the familiar sting behind the eyelids.
How much more humiliating could this get?
You didn’t know how long you laid there, sprawled out on the couch, bringing the bottle of strong wine to your lips ever so often in a feeble attempt to drown all the unpleasant emotion. God why did this have to be you?
You flinched as you heard the lock of the front door open and turned away from it. It was just your luck that Chuuya would return the second you fell to your absolute worst. That he’d make it home not one of the days when everything was in order; clean, washed, dinner ready and you looked like a candy. No, he had to return the one night when you could very well be mistaken for a Fenodyree. You dropped your arm over your eyes and silently prayed that if you stayed still and quiet, then Chuuya would be too tired to notice your presence in the living room and just stumble upstairs to the bed.
By morning, you’d sober up, shower and have a pleasant, civilized conversation along with a warm welcome home. A picture perfect greeting, and all of that. As long as it was tomorrow.
“ Sweetheart, I know you’re awake” you heard Chuuya’s voice followed by the gentle shuffling of feet as he slowly approached the couch you were laying on. You feigned sleep, still holding into the hope that he would not notice your condition. Prayed that he’d satisfy himself by pressing a kiss to your forehead, a gentle touch of your hair, before leaving the difficult subjects until the following morning. You hoped in vain.
“ I’m sorry sweetheart” Chuuya mumbled as he took a seat at the edge of the couch, close enough so you could feel his weight and warmth but far enough that he wouldn’t touch you. “ I did not intend for you to find out this way” his hand was inches away from your own. It looked like he wanted to take it but stopped himself. As if he didn’t have the right to do that anymore.
A frown graced your lips and you dropped your arm away from your eyes and stared into his mournful blue ones. You watched him swallow heavily, his fist clutched in his lap; “ I’m so fucking sorry” he cursed a second time as if it would convey his regret.
“ Why are you apologizing?” you asked, feeling your cheeks flush red. But if it was embarrassment, shame or alcohol you couldn’t quite tell. “ If anything I should be the one to be sorry; it was my fault it happened.”
“ Don’t you dare take the blame!” Chuuya’s voice went up an octave, his fist shaking in his lap from how hard he was squeezing it. “ Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself. It was wholeheartedly my fault- I put myself in that situation– and it had nothing, NOTHING; to do with you!”
You frowned more and moved to sit up, that way you could see him more clearly. The room was spinning; your heart pounded in your chest. A sense of dread- no realization washed over you and you just had to make sure you were talking about the same thing. “ I got into a fight at work and got fired on the spot, what were you apologizing for?” you asked, a hint of alarm in your voice.
“ I.. ehhh” Chuuya cut himself off rather lamely before he ran his hand over his face; between the black leather of his glove and the shade of his top hat there was little of his expression that you could see. But even from this distance you could tell it was riddled with guilt and regret. “ I think this calls for something stronger than wine Y/N” his voice sounded heavy in the dull silence.
“ Chuuya, what did you do?” You whispered your eyes staring at the normally cocky man who looked so tortured, so uncharacteristically small. “ What the hell did you do?!”
You watched in horror as tears, actual tears, rolled down his cheeks. He didn’t face you, he had no right to anymore. Still you deserved an explanation, no matter how painful t was for him to admit to you what he did; “ I love you sweetheart and as I did it you and only you were on my mind.”
And as he quietly admitted his sins all you could do was gape in pain and horror.
#bsd chuuya#chuuya x reader#chuuya nakahara x reader#chuuya nakahara#drinking#Chuuya angst#Chuuya crying#Sad Chuuya#hitting a rough patch#Raven cincaide works#Raven Cincaide sfw
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“The worst feeling is not being lonely, it’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget”
-anonymous
#chuuyabsd#bsd#bungou stray dogs#digital art#my art <3#my artwork#sad chuuya#chuuya fanart#bsd chuuya#bsd chuya#chuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara#bungou stray dogs chuuya#sad chuya#sad art#poor baby is depressed after dazai left
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“What happened to arresting me, detective?!
I thought you were gonna show me the light…!”
#bsd stormbringer#chuuya nakahara#i saw this post where someone drew chuuya visiting murase’s grave talking about saving people whom they barely know#got sad#really sad#so i unleash the angst#he went thru sm pain (heartbreak)#MURASE AS CHUUYAS FATHER FIGURE EUEGEUEGH THE POTENTIAL#chuuya 16#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#nakahara chuuya#stormbringer#angst
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If looks could make you fall in love
#happy skk means a lot to me actually#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd fanart#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#skk#Soukoku#sad things makes me cry and happy things make me cry too#myart
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VERLAINEEEE as promised
#HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL WHAT THE FUCK😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#YALL SEE WHERE CHUUYA GETS THE GENES FROM????????#BEAUTIFUL ELEGANT ETHEREAL TRAGIC SAD GAY FRENCHMAN#I CANT BELIEVE THERES PPL WHO DONT LIKE HIM WTF#PPL WHO DONT LIKE VERLAINE ARE EMBRASSING...........KEEP THAT TO URSELF😐#im actually so insane im im im im#i actually found a new brush and i've been absuing yf out of it if u couldnt tell the colorings a little different#anyway yea#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#bsd verlaine#verlaine bsd#stormbringer#bsd stormbringer#lotus draws
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Bonding over their unadulterated hatred for Osamu Dazai's existence
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#kunikida doppo#Kinda sad that these two never interacted much#As a slowly rising kunichuu shipper I'll slowly post more stuff about them#fanart#digital art#kunichuu
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A/N: this is just something random both to help me feel better and to write something since I haven’t wrote in weeks lmao- reader is gender neutral!
Chuuya loves to spoil you.
You’ve never been the one to ask for anything, and he wonders if it feeds into why he’s so ready to give you everything you want.
It could be something as small as a new book you’ve been wanting to read, or an outfit that caught your eye when you were both out on a date- you barely bat your eyes and Chuuya is already pulling you into the store, taking out his wallet.
Fancy dates at restaurants you would never dream of dining at, lavish clothes that had way too many zeros on the price tag, even flying out of Yokohama for the first time- the list goes on and on.
Chuuya senses your hesitation whenever he tries to give you gifts, and he can read you well to see why. You stress to him that he doesn’t have to do all of this, that you don’t want him to think that you’re relationship hinges on being materialistic, but he already knows. He’s not doing this because he has to, he’s doing it because he wants to. You deserve the best, and he makes it his mission to give you that.
You scold him every time he spoils you by surprise (which it’s starting to happen so much it really shouldn’t be surprising anymore), and all he does is laugh and press his lips against yours. He knows that you can get it yourself, but why when he can just get it for you now? He doesn’t have this black card for nothing, and he rather spend it all on you anyway (even if it’s on the small stuff you can get yourself).
And Chuuya knows that you appreciate it every time too.
He’ll do everything in his power to give you the world and more.
#in my times of sadness this made me feel better#so I hope you enjoy <33#bsd.txts#writings.txts#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd x you#bsd x reader#bsd x y/n#chuuya nakahara x y/n#bsd chuuya x reader#chuuya x reader#chuuya x you#chuuya nakahara x reader#chuuya nakahara x you#bungou stray dogs x reader
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alternate version because a certain purple crow saw things in the original version
Empty and bitter BEAST skk to crush your soul! Neither of them is having a good time.
#between dazai's visions/memories and the power imbalance that got between them#these guys are bitter and sad all the time#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd BEAST#bsd fanart#bsd chuuya#bsd nakahara chuuya#skk#soukoku#nawy's art
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I love the 22!Soukoku dynamic in canon because every interaction they have is like:
Dazai: Ughhh Chuuya is so annoying, why won’t he leave me alone (hasn’t actually talked to Chuuya in 4 years)
Chuuya: Ughhh what the fuck now, I bet it’s Dazai’s fault (Dazai is nowhere nearby or involved in the scene)
#soukoku#dachuu#dazai osamu#bsd#bsd dazai#nakahara chuuya#bungou stray dogs#skk#skk headcanons#skk hc#writing#soukoku headcanons#soukoku is sad and in love#soukoku ao3#dazai x chuuya#bungo stray dogs dazai#bsd chuuya#Bsd HC#chuuya nakahara
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A critical part of understanding skk is understanding that skk angst in canon is not a thing. That's why it's the fandom's civic duty to squeeze all of that juicy potential drama out of the beautifully ripe fruit that is their dynamic
#We've got like 2 or 3 panels max of one of them looking kind of sad#Otherwise they're cool w/ each other and always have been#Unless you wanna talk about Beast#Now THAT'S some doomed yaoi#bsd#bungou stay dogs#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#skk#soukoku
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Thanks for the high life (I’d like to think that you’d stick around)
#bsd#bungoustraydogs#chuuyanakahara#dazai#dazaiosamu#skk#soukoku#artists on tumblr#procreate#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#lana lyrics lmfao#YOU CAN PRY THE LOVING GAZES FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS#skk breakup threads on twitter made me sad so#dazai asked for 5 more minutes but we all know his ass will start sleeping again#THEY ARE IN LOVE IDC IDC#I have to draw something other than fluff hhh
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Hiiii everyone
#idk just thinking abt beast and how they probs had the same childhood as canon and still ended up in a bastardized version of their dynamic#makes so so sad#also hee hoo parallels oooo (it’s just dead dazai they don’t share anything else)#also Chuuya can dresm if he’s touching dazai because I said so#this is a little cluttered but in my defense I had many brainworms#bsd#skk#chuuya#dazai#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs fanart#chuuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara fanart#soukoku#dazai osamu fanart#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai fanart#dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#teen chuuya nakahara#chuuyabsd#chuuya fanart#dark era dazai#soukoku angst fanart#teen soukoku#soukoku angst#skk fanart#bsd 109#ely art
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Shirase being the one to find and approach Chuuya.
Shirase being the one to shelter Chuuya from the rain.
Shirase being the one who held out his hand to Chuuya.
Shirase literally taking Chuuya under his wing.
Shirase's arm around Chuuya's shoulders being the first warmth and security Chuuya felt in so long.
Shirase was Chuuya's friend once, Shirase took him in, Shirase taught him what it meant to be a Sheep, the cost of being wanted.
And Shirase failed Chuuya.
Shirase is the one who stuck the knife in his back.
I'M GOING TO BE SICK
#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#bsd sheep#bsd shirase#bsd#bsd 15 manga#bsd fifteen manga#Excuse me whilst I lay down and cry#I could had more about the umbrellas here but I'm too sad#maybe in another post
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they make me severely ill <33
#just. their faces 😭#the way they look so dull and sad but as soon as they see the other one they’re so lively#what the heck 😭😭#they’re so stupid i hate them 😭😭#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#bsd fifteen#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku
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aaaaa i love ur art sm i was wondering if you could have ever draw rimlaine togheter bc i dont see faanrt of them very often :') or if you could do a little sketch of them if that doesnt bother you..
they literally made me go through all seven stages of grief,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,save me tragic french yaoi,,,,,,,,,,,,,tragic french yaoi save me,,,,,,,,,,
#btw. fun (not) fact did u guys know that 22 chuuya's design takes heavy elements from not only verlaine but rimbaud as well#bro dresses like his parents i am fucking sobbing this will be my thirteenth reason#they r actually so sad they literally deserved the world#bsd#rimlaine#lotus’s asks#lotus draws
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