#Sad Chuuya

[aliyahgracedrawing]

This is meant to be chuuya after dazai left the pm and blew up his fucking car

This is also redraw of a drawing I did at the end of 2023, I wanted to see how much my art and rendering style has improved and changed over that time.

Original and stuff under cut

Also, please notice the cool rendering on the bottles I. Was really happy with how they turned out

Dude I was looking back at the speed paint and holy shit I spent nearly 2 hours on the shirt alone. Holy shit.

[ravencincaide]

And the truth is out 

Summary: A shitty day at work seems like the end of the world until fate dropped something even more horrendous into your lap. OR the time you saw Chuuya cry, 

Inspired by and dedicated to my friend: @chuuyaswifeandhoe Thank you sweetheart for letting me steal your idea and turn it into something less fluffy, and more bitter sweet <3. Hope you enjoy whatever my tipsy mind came up with in an hour. 

PS: A Fenodyree is a supernatural creature often fairy or fae, often hairy and messy in appearance but with great strengths.

Warnings: Cursing, drinking,  light angst rash decisions, guilt and tears,

Enjoy~ ______________________________________________________________

There was nothing like the relief you felt as you dragged your tired body through the front door; pulling one heavy leg in front of the other one. You tugged your bag somewhere behind you, dragging the large thing over the dirty ground. Your keys were dangling from a single finger, just long enough for you to get through the door and close it behind you, before they fell to the floor. You stared at them for a second, sighed, then continued with your task of coming home; you shrugged your coat off your shoulders before grasping it in one hand. Reaching a heavy arm up you attempted to hang it on its usual hook, but missed, making it drop to the floor in a messy pile.

Fuck it, let it be, you decided grimly and threw your bag on top of the coat as if that had been your intention from the very beginning. Then you kicked your shoes off, one landing on top of your coat sleeve while the other hit the shoe stand and bounced off it landing somewhere in the middle of the hallway. 

Screw it too, you would be damned if you were going to go and deal with all that now. 

Your feet padded against the wooden floors of your two storied mansion full of latest designs treds and expensive decorations. None of which you cared for at that very moment. Not having the energy to walk yourself upstairs to the bedroom, you moved towards the couch in the living room, grabbing one of Chuuya’s wines on your way. You flopped down inelegantly onto it and sat cross-legged as you fought with the cork, cursing the damned thing until it finally gave away. Then you tossed it somewhere in the general direction of the trashcan before you brought the bottle to your lips. A sweet red wine with just a hint of tartness filled your senses, a gentle comfort which reminded you of your fiance. Just as sweet as he was, and just as bitter as the distance between you. 

How long was it since he left for a job in Hokkaido? A month? four months? At this point you had already lost count- each day feeling as bleak and fleeting at the previous one. Each moment was as sad as the one before. A mundane routine of work, home, chores and sleep. 

Well not anymore. 

The notion made you bring the bottle back to your lips and take another deep clunk. From tomorrow- no from that very evening your routines had changed.  And you did not know how you were going to handle that. Half a bottle later you set it back onto the couch table and dropped more comfortably onto the familiar leather. Your eyes stared up into the ceiling, your body craved sleep while your mind refused to give you such mercy. 

A tiny voice in your head purred how you got exactly what you deserved; this was what happened to someone as incompetent as yourself pretending to play at the grown-ups table. While another voice- much quieter one- tried to reassure you that everyone made mistakes now and again. Even if your mistakes were larger than most peoples and were definitely going to follow you until the end of your days. Competent adult, your ass, you mused to yourself. Finally closing your eyes as you felt the familiar sting behind the eyelids. 

How much more humiliating could this get? 

You didn’t know how long you laid there, sprawled out on the couch, bringing the bottle of strong wine to your lips ever so often in a feeble attempt to drown all the unpleasant emotion. God why did this have to be you? 

You flinched as you heard the lock of the front door open and turned away from it. It was just your luck that Chuuya would return the second you fell to your absolute worst. That he’d make it home not one of the days when everything was in order; clean, washed, dinner ready and you looked like a candy. No, he had to return the one night when you could very well be mistaken for a Fenodyree. You dropped your arm over your eyes and silently prayed that if you stayed still and quiet, then Chuuya would be too tired to notice your presence in the living room and just stumble upstairs to the bed. 

By morning, you’d sober up, shower and have a pleasant, civilized conversation along with a warm welcome home. A picture perfect greeting, and all of that. As long as it was tomorrow. 

“ Sweetheart, I know you’re awake” you heard Chuuya’s voice followed by the gentle shuffling of feet as he slowly approached the couch you were laying on. You feigned sleep, still holding into the hope that he would not notice your condition. Prayed that he’d satisfy himself by pressing a kiss to your forehead, a gentle touch of your hair, before leaving the difficult subjects until the following morning. You hoped in vain. 

“ I’m sorry sweetheart” Chuuya mumbled as he took a seat at the edge of the couch, close enough so you could feel his weight and warmth but far enough that he wouldn’t touch you. “ I did not intend for you to find out this way” his hand was inches away from your own. It looked like he wanted to take it but stopped himself. As if he didn’t have the right to do that anymore.  

A frown graced your lips and you dropped your arm away from your eyes and stared into his mournful blue ones. You watched him swallow heavily, his fist clutched in his lap; “ I’m so fucking sorry” he cursed a second time as if it would convey his regret. 

“ Why are you apologizing?” you asked, feeling your cheeks flush red. But if it was embarrassment, shame or alcohol you couldn’t quite tell. “ If anything I should be the one to be sorry; it was my fault it happened.” 

“ Don’t you dare take the blame!” Chuuya’s voice went up an octave, his fist shaking in his lap from how hard he was squeezing it. “ Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself. It was  wholeheartedly my fault- I put myself in that situation– and it had nothing, NOTHING; to do with you!” 

You frowned more and moved to sit up, that way you could see him more clearly. The room was spinning; your heart pounded in your chest. A sense of dread- no realization washed over you and you just had to make sure you were talking about the same thing. “ I got into a fight at work and got fired on the spot, what were you apologizing for?” you asked, a hint of alarm in your voice. 

“ I.. ehhh” Chuuya cut himself off rather lamely before he ran his hand over his face; between the black leather of his glove and the shade of his top hat there was little of his expression that you could see. But even from this distance you could tell it was riddled with guilt and regret. “ I think this calls for something stronger than wine Y/N” his voice sounded heavy in the dull silence. 

“ Chuuya, what did you do?” You whispered your eyes staring at the normally cocky man who looked so tortured, so uncharacteristically small. “ What the hell did you do?!” 

You watched in horror as tears, actual tears, rolled down his cheeks. He didn’t face you, he had no right to anymore. Still you deserved an explanation, no matter how painful t was for him to admit to you what he did; “ I love you sweetheart and as I did it you and only you were on my mind.” 

And as he quietly admitted his sins all you could do was gape in pain and horror. 

[yuyonyu]

“What happened to arresting me, detective?!

I thought you were gonna show me the light…!”

[yaolmao]

If looks could make you fall in love

[lotus-pear]

VERLAINEEEE as promised

[star-centric]

A/N: this is just something random both to help me feel better and to write something since I haven’t wrote in weeks lmao- reader is gender neutral!

Chuuya loves to spoil you.

You’ve never been the one to ask for anything, and he wonders if it feeds into why he’s so ready to give you everything you want.

It could be something as small as a new book you’ve been wanting to read, or an outfit that caught your eye when you were both out on a date- you barely bat your eyes and Chuuya is already pulling you into the store, taking out his wallet.

Fancy dates at restaurants you would never dream of dining at, lavish clothes that had way too many zeros on the price tag, even flying out of Yokohama for the first time- the list goes on and on.

Chuuya senses your hesitation whenever he tries to give you gifts, and he can read you well to see why. You stress to him that he doesn’t have to do all of this, that you don’t want him to think that you’re relationship hinges on being materialistic, but he already knows. He’s not doing this because he has to, he’s doing it because he wants to. You deserve the best, and he makes it his mission to give you that.

You scold him every time he spoils you by surprise (which it’s starting to happen so much it really shouldn’t be surprising anymore), and all he does is laugh and press his lips against yours. He knows that you can get it yourself, but why when he can just get it for you now? He doesn’t have this black card for nothing, and he rather spend it all on you anyway (even if it’s on the small stuff you can get yourself).

And Chuuya knows that you appreciate it every time too.

He’ll do everything in his power to give you the world and more.

[shininas-ideals]

Bonding over their unadulterated hatred for Osamu Dazai's existence

[itsandyhere]

[originalartblog]

alternate version because a certain purple crow saw things in the original version

Empty and bitter BEAST skk to crush your soul! Neither of them is having a good time.

[blindblossom]

I love the 22!Soukoku dynamic in canon because every interaction they have is like:

Dazai: Ughhh Chuuya is so annoying, why won’t he leave me alone (hasn’t actually talked to Chuuya in 4 years)

Chuuya: Ughhh what the fuck now, I bet it’s Dazai’s fault (Dazai is nowhere nearby or involved in the scene)

[whathorselegs]

Had a thought, okay, the Old Boss seemed to retain his memories when Rimbaud absorbed him into his subspace, like he recognized Dazai and spoke to him like he knew him.

And Rimbaud himself, remembered Verlaine and everything he felt for him, waited and existed only to see him again.

The minds/emotions/personalities of the people Rimbaud absorbs and control would seem to be in tact.

So, listen, imagine a world where Rimbaud did succeed in killing and absorbing Chuuya. Imagine Rimbaud stuck with an angry teenage vessel that calls him a bitch every time he summons him. Who complains with every order like "Get off my back, old man!" and spends the whole fight insulting Rimbaud instead of the enemy.

Basically Rimbaud is Ash and Chuuya is his Charizard who hates him.

Imagine Dazai stalking Rimbaud and knocking on his door like, "Hey, found your hideout again, you're bad at this... Anyway, can my friend, you know, the one you killed, that friend, come out to play now?"

Imagine Rimbaud won and it was the worst thing that ever happened to him because now his life is being ruined by two annoying teenagers, one of which isn't even alive.

[ettaevie]

A critical part of understanding skk is understanding that skk angst in canon is not a thing. That's why it's the fandom's civic duty to squeeze all of that juicy potential drama out of the beautifully ripe fruit that is their dynamic

[lotus-pear]

aaaaa i love ur art sm i was wondering if you could have ever draw rimlaine togheter bc i dont see faanrt of them very often :') or if you could do a little sketch of them if that doesnt bother you..

they literally made me go through all seven stages of grief,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,save me tragic french yaoi,,,,,,,,,,,,,tragic french yaoi save me,,,,,,,,,,

[zaerxa]

Thanks for the high life (I’d like to think that you’d stick around)

[luneariann]

Hiiii everyone

[satorella]

“𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞”

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 knocks on your office door.

“Come in!” He heard you call out. As soon as he stepped through the door, you were instantly hit with a whiff of his favorite, expensive cologne. One that you actually had gotten for him. You didn’t even have to look up to know who it was.

“I came to drop these off.” He places a few folders on your desk. You looked at the folders, then nodded, expecting him to leave right away… but he didn’t. He could’ve had someone else, like Gin or something, drop the folders off for him. But he just couldn’t help himself. He can’t do this anymore. He needed to see you. “What do you want, Nakahara?” He slightly flinched at the use of his last name. “Don’t be like that, doll.” This was the first time you two have spoken since you moved out. He walks around your desk and sits down on the corner, his knee just centimeters away from your arm. He watched you for a moment while you scribbled on some documents, not even sparing him a glance. He reached over to caress your cheek, and as if on instinct, you leaned into his touch; acting before thinking.

Damnit.

“C’mon. I know I’m not the only one who’s down in the dumps here… Kouyou talks y’know, heh.” His voice was soft. It always was when he was being sincere. This caused your shoulders to slightly relax, giving into him. As hard as you guys tried to keep it together on the outside, both of you were completely broken on the inside. He was just, surprisingly, the first to crack. He slowly spins your chair to face him, and wrapped his arms around you. “The apartment doesn’t feel like home without ya...” He whispered in your ear, his breath felt warm against your skin. You clenched your jaw, but didn’t pull away. You were trying so damn hard to keep your emotions in check. Trying to keep your chin held up high.

You’re a Port Mafia Executive for fucks sake.

Chuuya let his hands wander, tracing patterns on your clothed back. “You don’t have to act so strong all the time… at least not with me.” Well fuck, that’s all it took to have your walls crumbling down. It was like a floodgate had bursted open. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ugly sobbed against his shoulder, finally letting out everything you’ve been holding in for the last couple months. Chuuya just held you through it, rubbing your back and nuzzling his face in your hair. He’s never truly been good with emotional stuff, but for you, he would do anything. “I’ve got you, love.”

“Please come home…”

© 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒-𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

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