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abbatoirablaze · 3 years ago

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Teller Morrow Tragedy, Season 1, Chapter 6

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: sexual tension, taboo relationship, mentions of a breeding kink, implied blowjob, violence, drugging a dog, illegal drug use, guns/mentions of guns, stealing a truck/grand theft auto.

Mandy’s POV

"Ahhh," Jax said, arguing with dad, "gotta bring it in through here. Afraid the amped up carb's gonna throw too much heat on the line."

"Might," dad shrugged, "That new Graytex cable can take a shitload of heat though."

I saw as Tig pulled up on his bike, stopping it in the garage instead of at the rail. His face was serious as he turned towards Jax and dad, "we got trouble."

"Get everyone on the horn," dad replied to Tig. He looked at me, "go to the clubhouse. Wake up Juice and anyone else in there. Tell them church. 15 minutes."

I nodded and made my way over to the clubhouse. Bobby was sitting on the couch strumming his guitar. Jax came up behind me, and I heard him mutter it to Bobby and half sack who was behind the bar cleaning up.

"You tell Juice. Okay..." Jax said, "wake his ass up."

"Will do," I muttered. I walked back into the dorms and began to dread every step closer to his door. When I got there, I felt my heart rate quicken.

Knock.

What's the worst he can do?

I was about to knock, but I pulled my hand away.

Fuck it. This was my room too.

I put my hand on the door and turned the handle.

Juan Carlos was snoring lightly on the bed. The shades were drawn, so it wasn't as light in the room as it was outside. He was face down, in nothing but his boxers. I closed the door lightly behind me. I couldn't help but smile.

I missed those things about him. The stupid little bullshit that was so mundane, but everything to me.

When I fell asleep in his arms, and woke up, me his personal teddy bear...him lightly snoring in my ear but pulling me closer if I shifted away. I smiled a little more, wanting to get into the bed with him. I slipped off my boots and locked the door before sliding my jeans off. If I was going to cuddle up with him in bed again, I was going to be comfortable damn it.

The bed creaked ever so slightly as I got in it. I slipped under the blankets and before I could think of what to do next, he rolled over and wrapped his arms around me. I felt myself melt into his warm chest. His scent wrapped around me. I could never place what kind of Axe he wore, but it drove me wild.

Fuck.

I really missed this.

I forgot the original reason for coming into the room, and I closed my eyes, inhaling his scent again. I felt goosebumps rise onto my skin. My body wanted to react to him.

"mmmm," he moaned as I shifted into him more. I felt one of his hands slide down my waist, and to my ass, before cupping it. He moaned again, "mmm Mandy...I'm not pulling out baby."

That's when I felt him. Fully hard against my thigh.

And I wanted him.

I opened my eyes, and I let my hand glide down his chest and to the v of where his boxers began. The noticeable bulge twitched, and I felt myself getting wet. I wrapped one of my legs around him so I could feel him between my legs.

He twitched again, his hand grabbing my ass firmly, and he moaned. I could feel him on my inner thigh.

"Juan Carlos."

"Baby," he whispered breathily, "fuck...Mandy."

I closed my eyes and ran my hands along his head again. His mohawk was starting to fill in, but the edges were starting to get stubbly. I giggled. The bed shifted.

"Mandy?"

I opened my eyes and saw Juan Carlos. His grip around me hadn't loosened entirely, but it wasn't holding me tight against his frame now.

"Sorry..." I whispered, "I just...I missed you."

He blinked a few times. Confusion was written across his face, and I knew why. When I'd gotten to his house, I wouldn't let myself get out of my car. I'd sped off as soon as he'd gotten out. I hadn't had the courage to talk to him since then.

"We didn't get to talk two days ago."

"I know."

"You never even came in."

"I was scared."

"You think I wasn't?" he asked. His hand stroked my cheek, "Mandy...I don't have a plan. On any of this. I'm god damned terrified about all of it. But I still wanted to talk to you...I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you," I sighed, my hand copying the lines of his jaw, "Well never for long anyways."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"So where does this put us?"

"I don't know...back at square one?"

"We still can't have sex."

"I know..." I admitted sadly, “but i…uh…can I ask you something?”

He nodded, “anything.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

“You know I was dreaming about you,” he admitted, “don’t play ignorant.”

“Well,” I giggled, “I knew something was up…but I didn’t know…you know…everything.”

“I remember you telling me you saved yourself for me…” he admitted, “and well I’d been having these dreams lately. Ever since you told me you wanted a baby…”

“Okay?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” he admitted, meeting my gaze, “and lately, when I’ve been having those sex dreams about you…I uh…don’t pull out…on purpose.”

“Oh.”

He sucked his cheeks in, “yeah….”

I pushed him so he laid on his back, and straddled him, before leaning down. I pressed my body against his. I watched as his eyes closed and he bit his lip, “Juan Carlos.”

“Mandy,” he moaned, grabbing my hips. I began to grind my hips against him. He moaned again and I felt his nails begin to dig into my hips, “fuck…you make this so hard…”

“JUICE!” Tig yelled from the other side of the door. He began to pound on the door, “CHURCH. GET YOUR FUCKIN ASS OUT HERE.”

“Shit,” he hissed. His hand brushed his mohawk, “2 minutes.”

I smirked and slid down his body, pulling his boxers down with me.

“Mandy, what are you doing?”

“Got 2 minutes,” I giggled, getting ready to take him in my mouth, “gonna make it count. And anyways, you only promised Alicia you wouldn’t fuck me…me blowing you is a different story.”

“Fuck,” he moaned as I went down to work. His hands quickly tangled in my hair, and he tried to quiet himself, “oh Mandy��fuck…”

Clay’s POV

"You sent him into Nevada?" she asked angrily. I knew that tone. She wasn't asking a question.

"It was his idea," I said defensively, "it's club business."

"He has a 10-day-old kid," she replied, "he is distracted. You have to protect him."

"Protect him?" I asked, "From what?"

"Himself."

"He's fine. Relax."

"Now this one," she growled, pointing over To Tara. She was chatting Lowell up about the Cutlass she'd brought in. I wrapped an arm around her to try and calm her down, “Jesus.”

"What's she doing here?"

"Anything she can to get close to Jax," Mikey sneered. I looked at my granddaughter, then back to Tara. Mikey had a sour look on her face, "she's not right for Jax."

"That's your dad's business."

"What the baby said," Gemma sneered, "she's doing anything she can to get close to him."

"Maybe she just needs a tune up."

"Not funny dad," Mandy said, resting an arm on Mikey's shoulder, “the fuck is she doing here anyways? Didn’t she have her fill of Jax before she left?”

"Didn't trust her then. Don't trust her now," Gemma replied, leaning towards me. I smiled and we kissed one another lightly. She began to walk to her car, “need anything while I’m out?”

“Nope.”

“Suit yourself,” she shrugged, “watch the office, girls!”

"What are you two doing here?" I asked, coming between my daughter and granddaughter, "it's Friday. You should be in class. The both of you."

“Gramma told us to watch the office,” Mikey smirked, “weren’t you listening, grandpa?”

"No class on Friday dad," Mandy grinned, sticking her tongue out at me. I lead them both over to the office.

"What's your excuse?"

"Mom pulled me out for the trip North to Washington, remember?" she asked.

"Your mom didn't go with Chibs though." I laughed, "she's down at the station. I'm surprised she let you stay with her."

"Chibs has his hands full with the Irish and the boys."

"That's true," I laughed, "you kids are a handful, I’ll give you that. So you’re going to stay in the office til your grandma gets back?”

"What about Mandy?"

"She's coming with me." I replied. We dropped Mikey off at the office door and headed into the garage, "you doing alright kiddo?"

She nodded, "why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been a little off since Fun Town," I said slowly. I watched her pale a little bit. I pulled her to me and kissed the top of her head, "it's okay sweetheart. I won't ask you to do that again. I shouldn’t have brought you in on that. Maybe your brother was right."

"It's not that," she whispered. I pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. She refused to look at me, “I just…”

"What is it?"

"I liked hurting him," she admitted, "I uh...I talked to Tig...I'm not asking to be in on any club business...but I uh...I liked doling out that pervert's punishment."

I took a step back from her and looked at her, "did you tell anyone else this? Your mother? Your sister?"

She shook her head and I nodded. I pulled her back to my side, and she smiled, "you still love me, right? You don’t think I’m some kind of freak?"

"Of course I love you kiddo," I said, "We have to talk about this...but I know you've always had a special bond with Alex. I wouldn't be against him taking you under his wing to show you a few things."

"Thank you daddy," she smiled, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled and leaned against the black tool drawer set just as Tig and Half sack got into the shop, “I…just thank you.”

"I gotta admit..." Sack said slowly, "Clay's old lady gave me a serious milf chubby."

I could see Tig look through him at me. He looked scared for the kid. Sack turned around and he went pale, "Hey-I brought the car out of the garage. It's...Uh...It's clear now-If you need me to clear it out again I can-"

"Clip a truck from Unser tonight," I said to Tig, ignoring the prospect, "make it look like you stole it. Cancer boy wants deniability."

Tig nodded and I turned to go back to the office. Mandy was eyeing a blow torch.

"Down tiger," I laughed, knowing she'd heard Sack, "The prospect will learn. I'll get him back in good time...for now we've gotta work on your anger. Come on. We're going shooting."

"What about me?" Mikey asked from the office.

"Like I said," I laughed, "you're watching the shop today. You sit your ass here all day, or I'll call the school myself and tell em you're skipping. Then I'll call Chibs and tell him your mom let you stay home."

"You wouldn't."

"I would," I smirked, “wanna find out?”

She pouted and sat back at the desk, and I walked outside with Mandy, "alright kiddo. We're gonna talk now...and really go over it...are you sure you're okay about what happened with that pervert?"

She nodded, "yeah...I want to do more."

"I nodded, "You're not going to be affiliated with the club though."

"I know."

"Have you ever gotten to talk to Happy?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No, Alicia usually told me to stay away from him."

"Figures," I laughed, "she doesn't want to have a reason to talk to him. She still hasn't forgiven him for the accident at Declan's baby shower."

She smiled, "it was really funny...and anyways, he didn't mean to shoot the gender reveal balloon."

"She'll just never get over the fact that he brought a gun to a baby shower and scared the hell out of Cain."

She shrugged and I pulled out my cell phone. I dialled Happy's number and put it up to my ear. He answered on the second ring, "hey Clay."

"Hap," I grinned, "you doin the run around here still?"

"Yes sir," he replied quickly, "starts in about an hour. Just hanging out a few hours north of you guys. The club need something?"

"Need help with my daughter."

"Alicia in trouble?"

I laughed. I could hear the strain in his voice, "Alicia's fine. Need ya to come down sometime to talk to Mandy...she's a soldier...like you and Tig."

"Of course," he replied, "anything for the club."

Juice’s POV

"Did you dose it?" he asked. I rolled my eyes at him, as we watched the dog down the snack.

"Triple dose."

"Patch over bash, man," he sighed, "makes Mardi Gras look like a sweet 16 party. With Jury's stable shit...nothing but young, tight perfect pussy."

"Mmm,"I groaned, my mind on anything but Jury's girls. I was thinking about Mandy...how she was, layin on our bed before I left. She was naked and touching herself...begging me to come back to bed and touch her. I wanted to give in, but I knew that if I did, I would have done more than just touch...I wouldn't let myself.

I watched as the dog trotted off, "well Fido's having his own party."

I grabbed the bolt cutters and cut the lock on the fence. Tig pushed the door from behind me, and I felt the lock graze my hand, "ow. Shit. Which one?"

"Unser said take the cargo truck," he replied, grabbing the bag and following me, "the keys should be in it. "

We heard a dog barking from behind us and we turned around. My eyes went wide, "holy shit."

"Run. Shit," Tig cursed, “FUCK!”

I began running towards the cargo truck, yelling at Tig to run too. I got into the truck first and Tig began to yell at me to open the door. His side was locked. I slammed my side shut and threw Tig's door open. He began screaming as he entered a battle with the dog. It'd bit his ass.

It began to whimper as he kicked it off, and slammed his door shut. "GOD DAMN IT. SHIT."

I leaned against my side of the truck, not entirely understanding how the dog managed to be alive at this point. Tig pulled his hand away from his ass and he looked at me, "I thought you said you drugged the meat."

"I did."

Tig turned towards the window, confused as all hell, "look at him, he's foaming at the mouth."

"That thing should be dead," I said shocked, "I dosed him with like, two grams!"

"Grams?" he asked, "Grams of what?"

"Crank!"

He looked at me, leaning in. His eyes got wide, "you fed crystal, to a killer Doberman. Are you retarded?"

"NO!" I reached into the back of my waistband on my jeans and pulled out my piece, "should I shoot him?"

Tig put his hand over mine, "No. Drive. Put it in.”

"Sorry," I muttered. I don't think he heard me. He just looked at the back of his jeans, “I-I didn’t mean-“

"Look at my ass?"

I muttered another apology and he told me to shut up and drive to the warehouse district so we could load up the barrels.

"I didn't know it would happen like that," I said, trying to start up conversation again as we'd parked at the dock, “I thought it wou-“

"Shut up."

"You ever been to Ireland?" I asked, when we'd gotten to the first barrel.

"I said shut up."

"Look," I said slowly, "look. It's not my fault you got bit. Alright? You didn't specify what kind of drug."

He looked at me slowly and I knew I fucked up. Maybe I can talk my way out of it.

"I'm not happy about being here either, but at least you and I...you know, we can try to have a decent conversatio-"

"What?" He asked, "what do you want? You want to bond?"

I shrugged and nodded

"You think we got some great connection in common because you're fucking around with Clay's daughter?"

"I'm n-"

"Shut up," he growled, "I didn't say you could talk. You want to get closer? Fine."

He began to unbuckle his pants and I got uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to dunk my balls in your mouth," he said slowly, "you're gonna gag. I'm gonna laugh. We'll be best friends forever."

"Why you gotta be that way?"

"You ever been to Attica"

"Shut up," I said, taking the dolly, and loading the barrel onto the truck, "pull your pants up, fucking jerk."

He narrowed his eyes at me before zipping his pants back up again. He leaned against the barrels, "you better not be fucking with her head again."

"I've never fucked with her head," I said defensively. Tig shrugged. I stopped what I was doing, "did she tell you that I did?"

"No," he said simply, "but I love that girl with all my heart. Just as much as I love my own two daughters. If you hurt her, I'll fucking kill you, kid."

"I wouldn't hurt her."

"You don't have a choice."

"And just so you know," I said, taking a step towards him, "her and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone..."

"Not my funeral," he laughed, "Mandy already made me promise when she was in the hospital the last time...she told me she almost went back to using heroin after your big fight...she bought it but flushed it last minute. Got drunk instead."

"Do you even know what that fight was about?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter."

"I wouldn't fuck her," I said quickly, taking another step towards him, "we'd been dating since she was 15, but she was upset because we'd never had sex. She got mad and left. That was not my fault. I told her we couldn't. I told her we only had to wait a few more months...then I would tell Clay myself, that I was dating her."

"Bullshit," Tig said, lighting up a cigarette, "you can try and play hero all you want, but in the end, you wouldn't tell Clay. He'd kill you. You both know that. Why else do you think she's been helping the club lately.”

"She's helping the club?" I asked, "how?"

"That pervert at fun town...when Clay had you watching the road," he said, "she was the one that cut his junk off. She was the one that made that pedophile a god damn Eunich."

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying for shit," he laughed, "you know what else though, "you turning her down...gave her that anger she needs to release. She liked doing it. She liked killing some guy. So, congrats on waking her up you retard. Because I know it...hell you know it. There is no way of going back after you've killed someone."

Chapter 7

@Lohnes16, @evyiione

#soa #sons of anarchy #samcro #motorcycle clubs #motorcycle #mc #soa jax #jackson teller #jax teller #clay morrow #clay #juice ortiz x reader #juice ortiz #juan carlos #tig trager #alexander trager

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h-o-l-l-i · 6 years ago

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Let’s Ride ‘til We Die

Happy x Reader

Word Count: 7,200

Warnings: Language, injury, mention of blood

Author’s Note: @cole-winchester this is my entry for your writing challenge. I chose the prompts 55, 95 and 98; they will be bolded in the writing below. Requests are open! This is my first actual Son’s of Anarchy fic so take it easy on me please.

“Sis, we’re going to need you to stay back; keep TM running and the prospects in check.” Your older brother, Jax said from across the table, taking a long drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out slowly from the corner of his mouth. Your eyes jolted towards your brother in urgency; you always went on runs with the club and you couldn’t even begin to think why they were asking you to stay back.

The others sat around the large wooden table, their eyes fixed on you, waiting for your reaction to your orders. “You sure you can do this without me?” You paused, hesitant to speak again due to the anger rising in your throat, “I haven’t missed a job since before I was just a prospect, and I’m not going to start now…” you said firmly, shaking your head and stretching your arm out reaching for your brothers cigarette. You took a long and very much needed drag, inhaling deeply, calming your anger for a second.

“It’s just too dangerous, can’t risk you getting hurt or risk you going back to prison when you just got out.” He shook his head and grabbed his burning cigarette from your fingers, tapping it in the ashtray and returning it to his mouth, “It’s just too risky, Y/N.”

“This is bullshit!” You stated in an elevated tone, shaking your head.

Everyone in Charming ate out of the palm of your hand because you were the Princess of SAMCRO, the only female member that is was patched into the M.C. and at times you were more terrifying than the men.

You snarled and pointed your finger in the air, spinning it around, “When this shit goes sideways because I’m not there; guess who’s going to be cleaning up the mess.” You frowned and slouched back in your spot at the table, tossing the empty glass bottle onto the tabletop, “I knew what this was when I got patched. I signed up for risky, Jackson.” You mumbled.

Clay watched on, letting it play out as it needed to; his eyes barreled back and forth between you and Jax to the others, listening, waiting to intervene. Jax went to open his mouth to support his points and argue further about the situation brought to the table but Clay spoke clearly, “Listen, Y/N. This shit ain’t going to go sideways. You” he pointed,“are staying here, not for yourself but for the club. Your brother is right, you just got out, the club can’t risk you catching more charges and doing more time.” He stared into your eyes, “And we don’t need the Princess getting hurt either.” He leaned back into his thrown at the head of the church table and puffed on his cigar. Before he spoke he sighed loudly, “Anything else we need to bring to the table?”

Every patch remained silent inside the church and Clay finalized the meeting with the loud smack of the gavel on the hard wooden table. The sound of chairs being pushed back and the slight sound of leather rubbing together filled your ears as everyone had filed out from the room leaving you to be the last one still sitting down. The door creeped open and a familiar tattooed head peered through before stepping inside, “You okay?” He closed the door behind his tall, heavily tattooed body and his eyes spoke to you more than his words did.

You lowered your eyes to your fiddling fingers in your lap, “I have to be.” You scoffed, “You heard Clay. Jax.” You looked back over to Happy and fought back the anger as you spoke on the definitive orders that you desperately wanted to disobey, but you wouldn’t because that would mean going against your club, your family. “You guys be safe tomorrow, okay?” You said and brushed past your old man, your shoulder pushing against his, at first his strong body didn’t budge from your small yet powerful frame but he submitted and allowed you to exit the room.

You strutted over to the bar, fury pulsating through your veins, “Sack!” The nervous prospect turned his head sharply over to the sound of your voice, his eyes showed just how uneasy he was around you, Tig who was standing alongside the alcohol covered bar waiting for his drink smirked to himself. Half-sack struggled to get the drinks together for the two of you just for a second and looked up to his superior, Tig apologetically. Tig’s eyes looked over to you, tapping your foot and repetitively tightening your jaw then relaxing, choking down your frustration of being forcefully excluded from the run.

“Disappear.” He shushed with his hand and made his way down to you, downing your shots, right down the line. “You know this isn’t a punishment, right Princess?” He leaned his back up on the edge of the bar and took a long sip of his drink.

You swallowed your last shot, you cleared a path for your arm to reach over and grab the tequila bottle and pour some more, “Sure feels like it, Tig.” You lined up your shot glasses and tipped the bottle, filling the glasses and repeated to go down the line. Suddenly, Tig’s eyes weren’t on you anymore, but on someone who was approaching where the two of you were, Tig didn’t say anything else but he just placed his hand on your shoulder and padded and walked away, his boots fading deep into the clubhouse commotion.

“Y/N.” A deep, raspy familiar tone rang out from behind you, his hand reaching and taking the bottle away from you. You closed your eyes in response, knowing it was Happy. You downed your last shot like a pro and spun around on the barstool you were perched on and looked up to him. “It’s to keep you safe.” He spoke sparingly, his hands came up to cup the sides of your face, you instinctively leaned into them lovingly. Your actions controlled partly from the love you felt in your heart for this killer but partly from the shots starting to course through your body. He snaked his hands around your head and pulled you into his toned, muscular body, hugging you tightly and he placed his chin on the top of your head; he was always a man of few words but sometimes his actions provided the message instead.

“I don’t want you to go.” You said from his chest, you felt him sigh. He pulled away from you but still held your hand in his, “If it’s that dangerous, I don’t want you going, not if I’m not there to have your backs.” You slid off of the leather barstool and stumbled slightly, “If anything happens to you; to any of you, it’s going to be because I’m not there.”

He watched you, knowing that no matter what he did, you were going to voice your opinion anyway; that’s how mother Gemma raised you. “Y/N.” He grumbled, his eyes piercing into yours, knowing what you were going to do next with liquid courage amping you up. “Don’t—” he began before you took off and he rushed after you; God he knew you so well.

“Clay! Jax!” You yelled and swiftly made your way from the room out into the open outside of the clubhouse finding the two men smoking and chatting in a hushed tone, they stopped abruptly due to your sudden presence. Your mouth opened to plead your case as to why they shouldn’t go without you but Happy’s tall figure burst through the clubhouse doors and halted your drunken ass from saying something to the President and Vice President of the M.C

All of your attention was diverted to the driveway at the sound of gravel being crunched below rolling tires of a car, Hale’s car.

“Well fuck me!” Jax stated and threw his cigarette to the ground stomping out the flame.

Before anyone made a move you were once again steadily striding towards the deputy, your kutte sliding off of your left shoulder and in on swift and surprisingly coordinated move, you raised your arm putting your cherished leather back into place. You turned your head to the men that were coming after you, “I got this.” They pressed forward so you stopped, “For fuck’s sake, you won’t let me go on the run tomorrow at least let me deal with Hale!” You spat fiercely making both of them look over to Clay for his order.

He placed his hand out in front of him and nodded towards the parked car with the lawman inside, “Go ahead, nothing I say is going to stop you anyway; just like your mother.” He bowed his head and turned to retreat back into the clubhouse, “Come on boys, let’s get ready for the run.”

“But what about Y/N and Hale?” Jax said curiously with a side of protective older brother, Happy’s eyes turned to watch you, never leaving you from his sight.

“She’ll be all right, you both know that Hale won’t do shit ‘cause he’s got a hard on for her.”

“Hale.” You slurred your words slightly as the alcohol soaked all of the cells of your body. Your boots stumbled on the loose rocks that mapped out the driveway of the clubhouse, you tucked your hands into your pockets of your jeans.

“Shit, they let you out?” He laughed to himself, his eyes wandered the unknown territory of SAMCRO. “It’s good to see you, Y/N. You behaving yourself?” He lowered his jaw and placed his hands on his hips and gun belt.

You rocked back onto the heels of you boots and pushed out your chest, your skin becoming more exposed and illuminated by the yellow streetlights outside of the clubhouse, feeling his eyes wander your body instead of possible club business. “I try, but you know how that ends up.” You smiled and brushed a piece of your hair behind your ear.

The two of you talked for a little while before your prolonged absence brought concern to your brothers inside the clubhouse; usually it would only take a short amount of time for you would say what you needed to say just to get Hale’s nose out of SAMCRO shit and you all would be on your way.

But, this time he pressed more and stayed longer, the shots catching up to you making your head spin as you drifted backwards loosing your balance, Hale burst into action and wrapped his khaki covered arms around you so you wouldn’t fall. “Alright, let’t get you inside Princess.” He said, snaking an arm around your waist, positioning it carefully, knowing not to cross any boundaries on a SAMCRO lady; and honestly, Happy scared the shit out of him…

“No, I- I got it, I’m good, really.” You slurred and tripped bringing you and Hale down onto the ground just outside of the double doors leading into the clubhouse. “Fucking shit!” You started cracking up laughing, “I missed the the sstep-up.” You smiled and snorted with laughter again. Hale let out an irritated sigh and brushed himself off and squatted down, clicking on his flashlight to check to see if you were hurt. “Get the fuck out of here with that shit, I’m fine!” You said angrily, grabbing onto the nearby post and pulled yourself back up to a standing position.

“Y/N.” He stepped closer to you, “Let’s get you into bed.”

“Well, shit at least take me out to dinner first officer.” You laughed hard, bending over then snapped back up, sending your hair flying.

“Come on, Y/N.”

“Don’t fucking touch me! I can, I can make it, I’m good. I can walk. I, you don’t need to babysit me, go save people or do whatever it is that you do with that patch.” You tossed your hands up, shoving him backwards and pointing to his law enforcement patches plastered on his khaki shirt.

His hands sprung up in defense, and his eyes glared back at you with warning, he pointed to himself, “This patch makes me the law in Charming.” He said smugly making you blurt out.

“Pft!” You expressed, crossing your arms and scoffing harshly towards the man standing before you, confusion written all over his face. “You think that patch rules this town. How sweet.” You said shaking your head and scrunched your nose laughing and turned to walk into the clubhouse but you ran into the picnic table under the awning, but, you caught your balance.

“Hap. Go see what your ol’ lady’s doing out there, it usually doesn’t take this long for her to get ride of Hale.” Clay ordered the Tacoma killer. He nodded silently and rested his beer on the table and swiftly raised from the worn leather chair he was relaxed in and headed to the doors that lead to your drunken self. His broad shoulders flexed as his large, rough hands pushed the doors, swinging them open wide, his eyes scanning over the empty lot of TM. Finally, his eyes caught sight of you rubbing your shin by the picnic table and Hale backed away from your side. Happy’s eyes made his usual death stare directly to Hale after he saw you stumbling about.

“Looks like you’re all set here, Y/N. You all have a good night.” He said before he turned on his heels and made his way back to his cruiser.

Happy came over to your side and gripped both of your shoulders, “Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head in protest, “No, I was just trying to talk to him and make him go away.” You hiccuped.

“What did he say to you?” He lowered his head down to eye level with you, his head turned to watch the deputy’s vehicle leave the outlaw compound.

“S’nothing.” You hiccuped again, over and over, making you smile. “Relax, you know I would never say anything that would stir up more shit for us or the club.” You softly punched his large, solid chest.

He smiled slightly and intertwined his fingers with yours, “C’mon Princess, let’s get you to bed.” He said and helped you back into the safety of the familiar contents of the clubhouse; booze, weed and women running about chasing anyone with leather. “Sack!” He yelled, the prospect scurried his way over quickly, “Get Y/N some water and make her eat. I’ll be back in 20.” He started to turn but then he stopped and gripped the young man’s collar of his unpatched leather vest, bringing him up onto his toes, his face inches away from his, “Don’t let a single thing happen to her when I am gone. You got that prospect?” He chewed on his toothpick that seemingly never left it’s place from his lips.

Half-sack nodded fearfully, “Yeah, you got it.” Happy lowered him down roughly causing him to stumble and made Happy chuckle to himself.

“Little girl.” He said strongly and grabbed your waist where you were sitting on top of a barstool at the bar, sipping on some water because you knew you had to or else some stupid shit was going to happen… He snaked his arms around to gently squeeze your body in his muscular arms, “I’ll be back in a little bit.” He kissed your cheek softly, you smiled and leaned into him.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” You called out to him through the loud music of the clubhouse party.

Happy spun on his heels and smirked, “What wouldn’t you do?” He laughed and disappeared beyond the doors.

“Where’s he going?” Your blonde haired brother stated as he approached the bar, “Thanks.” He said when his fingers wrapped around the label of the beer bottle Half-sack handed to him.

You turned your head towards your older brother who stood, leaning beside where you where seated. “Don’t” you bowed your head and swallowed the sour burp that burned your throat and closed your eyes, “know.” You brought the ice cold glass of water to you lips and allowed it to wash down the taste of alcoholic stomach acid.

“What did Hale want?” He tried to ask you in the most inconspicuous way but failed miserably. You gave him the side eye and he backed up off of the bar top and raised his hands defensively, “It’s an insurance policy Y/N, you know that…” he smiled and returned to the relaxed position beside you, you sat there sipping on your water, jamming out to the music from your barstool, sobering up.

Some time passed before Happy returned, his knuckles cracked and bloodied. All eyes fell upon him as he frustratedly stomped his way about the clubhouse. You weren’t entirely sober but you were sober enough to notice that your old man was pissed beyond belief and his hands were bloody. Your feet landed on the dirty, slightly sticky floor on the clubhouse. Your instincts kicked in and took hold of your consciousness over the alcohol. “Hap.” You whispered gently running your hand from his strong shoulder down his arm and holding his wrist, he stopped walking at this point, knowing you would be the one to save him; calm him down. He looked down at you and began to melt, you cautiously assessed his hands and looked back up to him, “What did you do?” He remained silent, his eyes noting all of the returning stares then looked back to yours.

“Come on.” You said lacing your hand in his, guiding him into the bathroom. “Happy.” You practically scolded him with your tone, pushing his shoulders so he would sit on top of the toilet, you grabbed both of his wrists and placed them on top of his knees. He said nothing, usually that was typical but something felt off this time, his eyes just watched you.

You turned and opened the medicine cabinet above the sink, taking out the heavily used first-aid kit. You motioned with your hand for one of his, “You gonna tell me what the hell you just got us into?” You held down a piece of gauze over his hand after pouring hydrogen peroxide over his busted knuckles, he winced in pain as the liquid seared away the dirt and blood. “Was it Hale?” You questioned cocking your eyebrow and glaring up to him. He followed you to the door and walked out, he lowered his head and said nothing and walked passed you.

You both returned to the main area of the building, all that shared the same patch as you held a lingering gaze, at first you thought it was to the both of you but Happy kept walking and none of their eyes followed him… You averted your eyes and sighed, “Hap, I’m turning in early, I’ve got babysitting to do tomorrow.” You squinted your eyes at the prospect behind the bar.

He turned around and placed his hands on your hips and you leaned into him for a kiss, you turned to walk to your dorm and jumped when his hand connected with your bottom. You shook your head and huffed a small breath, you knew everything was fine now.

You rolled over in your mattress, stretching your arm out, feeling for Happy’s warm body and only felt the cotton sheets. You sat up sharply and grabbed your phone, pushing the button and the clock read 05:58 a.m. “Fuck.” You flopped back down onto the pillows in the bed that you shared.

You reluctantly dialed his number, there was only a few rings until he picked up, “Good Morning, Princess.” His voice tired and slightly more raspy than normal.

“Is it?” You said, aggravation thick in your voice. “You never came to bed last night.”

“Y/N.” He paused, “Please.”

You cut him off, “Shit, you guys left last night?” You brushed your messy hair behind your ears, “I gotta baby-sit the prospects for the whole fucking day?!” You yelled, throwing the covers off of your half naked body, “This is fucking bullshit, Happy! When the fuck did you leave then? ‘Cause you never came to bed last night!”

Happy winced and pulled the phone away from his ear, his brothers looked to him and nodded, knowing the cause. “We’ll be back tomorrow.” He said, pulling the phone back again, bracing for you reaction; only to be met with the sound of a dead phone call.

“She take it okay?” Jax said lighting a cigarette, resting on his bike. Happy just stared at him and placed his phone away into his jeans pocket and swung his long leg over his bike and roared the engine to life, the rest of the son’s soon followed. “I guess that’s a no; as expected.” He said to himself and Jax sped off to catch up with the others.

You threw your burner phone up against the wall, shattering it on impact, “Fuck!” You yelled and stomped into the bathroom and started the shower.

You gathered yourself together quickly and walked steadily over to the garage, ignoring the prospects already working on today’s 07:00 a.m. appointments.

You pulled on your mechanic shirt overtop of your white tank top that fit snuggly to your perfect body. Instead of buttoning the work shirt you settled for your usual, crop-top-tie. Your hands gathered your half dry hair and pulled it up into a ponytail and picked up the clipboard, your eyes ran down the list and got to work.

Later on during the day, you had one more appointment but, you’ve had it; it was a long ass day, you haven’t heard from Happy or the others and you became more and more pissed off with every hour that passed with no update or contact. Sure, your burner phone was busted via your frustration but they knew other ways to get in contact with you…

The prospects were cleaning up the inside of the garage and the work stations, making sure all of the tools were placed in their rightful positions. Just one more then it’s the day… you said to yourself, gripping the clipboard and opening up the door to the office, “Smith.” You called the last name, the man’s attention slipped from the swimsuit edition magazine to you.

“Yeah?” He raised from his chair and scratched his forehead, leaning forward to look into the empty garage, “Where’s the mechanic that’s going to be fixing my truck?” He crossed his arms.

You raised your eyebrows and cocked your head slightly, you closed your eyes, suppressing the anger that was ready to be released from the past 36 hours you’ve had. “That’d be me, Mr. Smith.”

“No, no, no. It says here, my mechanic is a Y/F/N (initial) Teller.” He said pointing to his copy of the receipt.

“Yeah, me.” You paused, exposing your name patch on your now dirty work shirt, “Y/N. Teller.”

“But you’re a woman.”

That was it. You released the clipboard from your hands and unleashed your pent up anger on the sexist man, who clearly didn’t know who you were. Your right jab connected straight up onto his nose, blood was streaming from where his hands cradled his injury as he stumbled back. “What the fuck, Lady?!” He yelled from behind his hands.

The door from the garage opened and the prospects burst through the door, their eyes looked to you for direction. “Leave him.” You said, stepping closer to him and connecting a staggering left hook followed by a harsh knee to the stomach. He lay on the tile flooring of the waiting room of TM, “Get the fuck out of my garage.” You spat on his body before walking towards the door, motioning to the prospects to go back to work. Your body stopped short from the doorway, “I’m keeping your shitty ass truck for another day, charging you an extra $100 for an extension fee.” You stared at him as he gingerly got up from the floor and scurried out of the building, grabbing his phone and dialing fast.

You rolled your eyes and opened the door, “Hale’s going to be on his way, don’t worry about it; I got this shit covered. Lock this shit-hole up when you’re finished.” You ordered, they nodded in obedience.

“Hale!” You walked outside wiping your hands clean from your work, the sunset sky turning on the lights outside. “Long time, no see.” You smiled and looked at the man who you just encountered with.

“She assaulted me! She did this, officer!” He said, pointing at himself and then to you.

Hale raised his hand and the man silenced, “I’ll take care of Ms. Teller. You go on your way now.” He ordered.

“How am I supposed to go without my tr—”

“I called your bitch ass a cab.” You whipped the rag over your shoulder and undid your hair from the hair elastic, swinging it, allowing it fall down over your shoulders beautifully. “Consider it curtesy of Teller-Morrow Garage.” And lit a cigarette. Just as you spoke those words the headlights of a bright yellow taxi came rounding the gates.

“Y/N.” He put away his notepad and pen once the taxi was out of sight. “Do I even ask?” He motioned to your swollen hand.

“Guy, said only men can be mechanics.” You cocked and eyebrow, “He got what he deserved.” You puffed, “If you ask me, I’m a hell of better mechanic than Jax!” You scoffed, tossing your hair to one side.

“Speaking of…where is everyone?” You opened your mouth to speak with a quick answer but he cut you off, “They aren’t here; none of their bikes are here, Y/N.”

“Sassy tonight, are we?” You laughed, he bowed his head in attempt to not smirk, “They’re over at Gemma’s, me and the boys are just about ready to go.” You uncrossed you arms and placed your hands into your back pockets, “You can stop by for dinner if you want, Gem won’t mind.” You said smugly, knowing he would say ‘no’.

He flickered his eyes and turned his head to the side, looking back at his cruiser. “That sounds great, Y/N, really but I’ve got a mountain of paperwork to do back at the station.” He shifted his key in his hand and retreated back into the vehicle.

“You’re missin’ out” you called out to him, “Mom’s cooking is really good…” You smiled and pulled the rag from your shoulder to continue to swipe away the dirt and oil from your hands. You halted your actions to waive as he pulled his car around, waiving his hand slightly to you as he passed.

You burst open the doors, “Sack!” You tossed the dirty work rag onto one of the worn leather couches and looked around the almost vacant room that was usually packed full with patches and hookers. “I’ve had a very” You closed your eyes and held out your empty hand, “long day. I’m taking a shower and staying in my dorm.” Your fingers wrapped around the ice cold beer bottle that the young, eager prospect opened for you. “Don’t do anything stupid. And for damn sure don’t come to me with some bullshit either; if it isn’t club business, I don’t fucking care.” You tucked your hair behind your pierced ears and headed off to your dorm.

“Find out what the hell is going on with the others, they should have been back by now—” your thoughts were cut short by the familiar sounds of countless bikes racing into the parking lot.

The doors almost unhinged by the sheer force and urgency of your brothers. You dropped your beer, the bottle shattering onto the floor at your feet, your eyes wide, “What’s wrong?” You desperately asked Juice, you reached for one of the several hidden guns that were strategically stashed.

“Princess…” his New York accent whispered to you, “It’s��”

“Come on brother.” Tig said breathlessly, hoisting a large male body through the doors. “Juice, go.”

“Fuck!” You ran to their aid when your eyes fell upon an almost unconscious Happy.

“Sis, we need to—” Jax spoke though the growing chaos, but you excelled in that type of environment; you were raised around that, it was ‘home’

“Pool table, now!” You ordered and pointed, “Prospect, stay the fuck out of my way, get what I need when I ask, got it?” You glared into their direction with your eyebrows raised, your hands slick with blood. “Chibs, I’m going to need you brother!” You shouted and he was right there, by your side.

“Juice, put your finger” you gripped his hand and stuck it inside the small wound on Happy’s abdomen, “Here.” You stared sharply into the newly patched Son, “Don’t fucking move.” He nodded intently.

Happy was groaning in pain, his blood leaked from the gash on his side, down onto the already blood stained pool table that doubled as a medical suite. “Y/N.” He said, his eyes searching for yours, his hand raising up to grab for your hands.

You smiled down at him assuringly, “I can’t hold your hand right now baby, I’m a little bit busy.” You said as you ripped open a package of gauze and pressing it onto his side, making him squeeze his eyes shut and grit his teeth. “Chibs, can you hold this? Try to stop the bleeding.” You huffed and ran your bloody fingered through your hair and pulled it up into a ponytail again.

Jax was by your side, as were the others; ready to help at your command. “Jackson, I need some fucking space!” You said in irritation, it felt like the walls were closing in around you and it was hard to breath.

“Princess, ye’ got this’, I’m righ’ ‘ere beside ye’.” Chibs’s heavily accented voice rang through, striking your mind back to the task at hand.

“Jesus! What the fuck now!” Clay yelled and threw his hands up into the air and he pulled back the curtains and gazed out of the window.

“Fucking Hale.” Tig snarled.

“Go deal with him.” Clay commanded; Juice, Jax and Tig headed outside, closing the doors promptly trying to inhibit the deputy from seeing the carnage on the pool table.

“Came back from Gemma’s in a real hurry.” He said sarcastically, his eyes trailed over the bikes skewed about rather than in their usual, neat line up. His eyes landed on one bike in particular that was still dripping with blood. His gloved hand raised to point, “Everything all right?” His eyes trailed along the ground, following the drops of blood that left a trail, disappearing into the depths beyond the clubhouse doors.

“Hit a bird on the way in.” Juice blurted out, his shoulder was roughly shoved by the club’s V.P. Juice lowered his head and shrugged his shoulders, tucking his gloved hands into his pockets of his favorite camo pants.

Hale’s eyes interrogated them and he pressed on, taking small steps to get closer over to the doors to see what was really going on. “Y/N had an incident about an hour or so ago, assaulted a man.” Jax’s eyes were shrouded in concern, “Don’t worry, I didn’t charge her with anything; she’s not going back to do anymore time, Jax.”

“Hey…Hale!” You jogged out of the clubhouse, your ponytail swaying back and forth intoxicatingly. “Miss me too much?” You winked at him and patted your brother on the shoulder of his leather vest, he knew that meant that you got it from here so he pulled you into a tight hug, you whispered quickly into his ear, “You and Juice take Hap into my dorm, can’t have Hale see this shit.” Jackson released you from his embrace and leaned into you placing a gentle kiss on your temple before tossing his cigarette to the ground and doing as you advised.

You crossed your arms, taking a stance, trying to widen your frame so Hale couldn’t nose his way into the situation, like he usually did when it came to the Son’s of Anarchy. “Everything okay, Y/N?” He questioned, turning his chin down and his eyes flickered up to you.

“Yeah, it’s just been a long day—”

“I can see that.” He stated, pointing out to the crimson red blood on your fresh, clean, white tank top. Your head lowered and your eyes followed his finger, your heart jumped up into your throat.

“Honestly, Hale. I can’t get into it right now.” You sighed, allowing your eyes to emote, “It’s just been so hard. I’m sorry…” You allowed the tears to flow from your tired eyes and your hands came up to your face, hiding your feelings.

Hale softened and came to your side, carefully placing his arm around your shoulder and consoling you, “Hey, hey.” He whispered and brushed a stray piece of your hair behind your ear, you wiped your tears that moistened your cheeks and looked to him. “Go on then, Y/N; handle what you need to, just remember I’m here to help you.” He smiled assuringly, releasing you from his mild embrace. You hesitated for a second and he nodded his head gently, smirking to you.

“Thanks.” You sniffled and walked to the doors again, carefully cracking them open and sliding your small frame inside.

“Really? That worked?” Juice asked sarcastically, “I’ve never seen a man more in love and whipped in my entire life.” He shook his head.

“Mother Gemma has taught me a thing or too, Juicy boy.” You smiled and wiped your eyes completely dry.

“Hap’s going to be okay.” He stopped, you remained silent, but he knew just how much his words meant to you in that moment before you became distant down the hallway.

Your body entered the room, Happy’s groans were silenced now and Chibs was beginning to assess the damage that was done. “You got it Chibs?”, he nodded and continued working on Happy’s side.You eyed your older brother, “Jax…” you held open the door, backing out into the hallway signaling him to follow.

“Is he going to be okay sis?” He looked down at you, concern following his tone.

“Yeah, he is.” you crossed your arms, knowing that he was going to be fine allowed you to feel more emotions other than worry and panic. “I told you; when shit goes sideways…” your eyes glared over to the door to your dorm, “I should have been there.” You tightened your jaw, “What—what happened?”

“Sis, I don’t think tha—”

“Cut the shit, Jax! Just tell me what the fuck happened!” You pushed his chest angrily, your elevated voice catching the attention of the others. “I should have been there!” You pushed his again, he allowed you to because he knew that you were upset not only because of being left behind but because Happy was hurt; you loved him just as much as you loved this club, both of them being threatened cut deep into your scarred feelings.

Jax sighed, “You finished?” His blue eyes looked up at you from his lowered head, your chest was heaving sharp breaths. “The plan we had to get the guns didn’t work out, things got messy; fast.” He swallowed and placed his hands into his jeans pockets, “Happy made the first move, so we had to back him up.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why would he—” you started to inquire but he cut you off by raised his hand and speaking over you.

“One of the guys noticed you weren’t there and started talking about you; Happy lost his temper when he said something out of line…” he drifted off.

“Motherfucker.” You crossed your arms and bit your lip, your face lit up like you just had a bright idea.

“Y/N!” Jax stumbled after you through the door.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” You screamed at your man who was laying on his uninjured side, giving Chib’s room to stitch him up. The other son’s in the room backed away after Jax’s eye contact said it all. Chib’s hands were steady as the argument unfolded but his eyes struggled to focus on his stitches. Happy opened his mouth to answer but you quickly shut that down, “Shut the fuck up, Hap! You almost died! And for what?” You crossed your arms, your eyes only staring into Happy’s, not caring about the others in the room. “I could have lost you…” you paused, your tone shifting, “What would I have done then, huh?” Your shoulders slumped and you shook your head, your eyes stinging with small tears.

Jax’s hand turned the squeaky doorknob and opened the old wooden door, he motioned an order for all others to follow; to allow you and Happy to work this shit out. You stood there with your arms crossed in silence while Chibs finished the stitching quickly and exited the room after the others, leaving you and Happy alone.

You cleared your throat as the door clicked shut, the silence never budged, “You’re not going to say anything?” You bit your tongue. His eyes pleaded with yours apologetically.

“I’m sorry.” His throat grumbled, his eyes closed sharply when he tried to right himself and sit up.

“Stop.” You said, “Let me help.” You went to his side aiding him to an upright position, “I know.” You whispered and sat next to him on the side of the bed that you shared, your hand grabbed his, your head rested on his shoulder. It was quiet for some time, you just sat there with each other, nothing was said verbally but everything was said physically.

His thumb rubbed your hand, “I get that you are upset.” He paused, your head slowly lifted from his shoulder to look at him. “You have every right to be.” He paused, trying to find the right words to say, “I’m mad at myself for putting you in this situation; making you feel this way.” His hand squeezed yours lovingly. The silence grew between the two of you once more, you head returned to his shoulder.

“Well this isn’t really how I imagined tonight would go…” you broke the silence, chuckling slightly. Happy smirked and looked down at your head on his shoulder and shook his head and laughed with you. His side seared with pain, his hand left yours absent and gripped at his side where Chib’s just patched him back up, some fresh red blood began to seep through the dressing. “Come on.” You stood and helped him stand from sitting on the bed. “Let’s go, I’ll stitch you back up…I think I’m better at it anyway.” You winked and started to collect the items that you needed that were scattered around your room; your comment making his stone cold expression to crack into a smile.

He peeled off the dressing and the blood started to run down his abdomen and drip onto your floor, “Shit.” He spoke, making your eyes to shoot up to him from the table that you were at getting what you needed to fix his popped stitches.

“You’re bleeding all over my carpet.” You said sarcastically and held a fresh gauze over the new wound, grabbing his hand and placing it with yours, applying more pressure.

“Guess a sorry is too late for that.” He smiled and looked around the dorm at his blood that was marking all over your room.

“A little.” You smiled, “Hold this, tight.” You ordered him and went back over to the table, gathering the equipment needed to sew his side back together again.

“I love you, Y/N.” He blurted out, his tall frame turning to face you, his eyes never leaving yours, his heart pounded in his chest; this was the first time he said it out loud.

Your eyes welled with tears and his words echoed inside your head, you looked deeply into his eyes, a single tear escaped and spilled down onto your cheek, your hand instinctively wiped it away quickly. Your chest was now inches away from his, your eyes gleamed with happiness as they looked into Happy’s, “I love you too.” His smile reappeared on his face, you were the only thing that brought him happiness.

“Shit’s quiet now, you think they are all right?” Juice asked the VP.

Jax sipped on his beer and nodded, “Yeah, she won’t hurt him anymore than he already is.” he smiled and a chuckle escaped from his lips.

“Jax.” Clay called to him from across the large room. Jax’s eyes perked up to the President of the club and stood by Clay’s side. “What did Hale want?” He paused and lit his cigar, “Anything we should worry about?”

“Just some asshole at the garage, she punched him or something. Hale’s giving her a pass, nothing to worry about, brother.” He smirked, seeing you and Happy emerging from the hallway.

You walked with Happy’s arm around you, the two of you walked slowly towards the others. The side conversations hushed once you had gotten close enough, you pressed on and cleared your throat. “You don’t have to worry about Hale.” You helped Hap take a seat onto one of the worn, leather couches. “I trust all of you, you thought it was good to leave me here in charge of the prospects and go without me; that’s fine. Some shit happened but the prospects did as they were told and followed orders. I took care of what I needed to and you all did too.” You looked around the room at all of the son’s staring back at you. “Thank you for being my family, blood or not.” You paused, “So, let’s ride ’til we die!” You wrapped up your monologue, the others raised their drinks.

Clay came over to you and hugged you gently, placing his large chin on the top of your head. “It’s a pleasure to have you as a Son, Princess.” He took a step back, “Without you, we would all be swimming in shit. You do a lot or this club, and we appreciate that.” He smiled.

Happy patted the arm of the couch, signaling you to take a seat next to him. His hand came up to grab the glass bottle that you were drinking from, your hand elevated quickly, placing the desired liquid out of reach. His lips parted in protest of you, “No alcohol until that” you pointed to his wounded side, “heals up.”

“Well then what am I allowed to have then, Princess?” His raspy voice hinted a slight sarcastic tone, his eyebrows raised, the corner of his mouth lifting. You leaned down, your eyes intoxicating, as you got closer to his lips, your arm stretched out farther from his grasp. Your lips puckered with connection to his, absent his trademark toothpick. Your lips curled up, your smile showcasing the amount of love you had for this man, your face lingering near his.

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rhysie-cakes314 · 6 years ago

Text

Day 9- Woods

Summary:

Loki doesn't take it well when Tony decides not to play along with their usual fun. Somehow that translates to Steve and Tony stranded in unfamiliar woods with no working tech.

At least camping is fun, and Steve has a good singing voice.

Steve could hear the asshole’s laughter from the other side of the portal as it shut behind them. Loki had been up to mischief as usual, but when Iron Man ended the battle too quickly for his liking, he got angry.

Loki causing magical chaos in New York was a pretty typical occurrence nowadays. Thor said it’s because he gets bored in Asgard and thinks humans are entertaining. The Avengers were used to it by now. Usually Loki would show up, scare some people, give the Avengers a run for their money, then leave with a happy goodbye before he could be captured. He rarely even caused injuries anymore, so Steve thought of it as harmless fun that helped the team train.

No one had warned Loki not to try anything in October, apparently. Tony spent every October in a month-long manic episode working non-stop. The genius did not react well to distractions from his work. Steve thought it was a bit much. Tony was probably exaggerating when he explained how many new inventions the board demanded of him every November.

So Iron Man had showed up to the battle ready to leave, and he went in hard. Loki’s magical birds that were harassing citizens and stealing food were felled in ten seconds flat when Iron Man shot small bullets at them all simultaneously. Loki’s grin had quickly morphed into a snarl, “In a hurry Iron Man?”

Tony didn’t even throw out a witty comment. “I’ve got shit to do.” The armour removed any inflection from the words, but Steve was sure they were irritated.

Loki didn’t find the answer satisfactory. “Oh no, the great Mr. Stark has such a hard life,” Loki mocked. When Tony made no indication that he’d return the banter, the god lifted his scepter threateningly. “Let’s see how important you think you are without your precious technology.”

The portal appeared just beside the armour, sucking Iron Man in. Steve jumped to grab the boot closest to him without thinking. His instinct was just to grab on and pull back. Instead of helping in anyway whatsoever, Steve just ended up falling through the hole as well just before it closed up around Loki’s cackling. Luckily for them, the other side of the portal was only a couple feet off the ground, so they only tumbled into a tree rather than fell from the sky.

Steve sat up with a sigh, taking in the new surroundings. Tony’s suit had stopped working as soon as it passed through the portal, so he was peeling off the useless metal in pieces. They were sitting in a thick forest. Steve could see nothing but trees in every direction, and didn’t even hear running water. He pulled out his cell phone and found that it, too, had become a useless brick. Apparently Loki’s portal ruined electronics. At least Tony’s arc reactor seemed unaffected.

“Goddamnit, that mother-fucking, piece of shit asshole!” Tony threw the last piece of armour at the nearest tree trunk to emphasize the last word. “I’m going to rip his tongue out and take everyone of his stupid capes and tear them to shreds and melt his crown and-”

“How about we just get home first, Tony.” Steve had no idea where in the world they were, or if they were even on their planet.

Tony looked at him petulantly for a moment, contemplating continuing his list of ways to sabotage Loki anyway. Steve just raised an eyebrow at the man, knowing what he was probably thinking. Tony huffed, giving up. “Fine,” he most certainly did not whine, “we’ll do it your way.” Tony stood, examining their surroundings closely. “Well, it’s not tropical, and I see no pine trees, so that narrows it down a little.”

“I could climb a tree and see if there’s a clearing in sight?” Steve suggested.

Tony shrugged. “Sure, I’ll stand guard down here,” his voice dry. Right, the man didn’t have a weapon. Steve handed him the handgun strapped to his leg. He had the shield anyway, and rarely used guns.

When he made it to the top, he craned his neck, trying to see as far as possible in all directions. The position was awkward because he had to hold onto a branch with one hand for balance, unable to just stand up straight on a branch. There were woods in every direction into the horizon. He could make our the winding opening in the canopy of leaves that must be a river. They could follow the river and hope for the best. There was usually civilization near rivers. He wondered what country they might be in. Not a lot of places were left in the world with forests this large.

“So, what’s the plan Captain?” While Steve had been climbing, Tony had managed to make a sack of sorts out of the sleeves of his undersuit that he cut off. Steve could see the pieces of the armor sticking out on all sides. It hung down Tony’s back, with it tied to fit like a sash in front of him, and it had to be heavy.

“Do you have to bring the suit?” Steve asked, already knowing the answer but trying anyway. They couldn’t risk a passerby getting their hands on the tech. When Tony didn’t deign to answer the question, he moved on. “I don’t see an end to the woods anywhere, but I can lead us to what I think is a river.”

“Sounds like as much as a plan as we’ll get, then,” Tony sighed. They began trudging through the woods, the pieces of the suits clanking with each step. The temperature was mild enough, but the air was humid and Tony’s arms were being eaten alive by mosquitos. If only he hadn’t needed the sleeves to carry the stupid suit.

Steve guessed it took them about three hours to reach the riverbed. He kneeled to drink some water. The daylight was waning, and they needed to find somewhere to camp out for the night.

Tony was thinking the same thing, and he spotted the perfect solution. “Hey look!” He pointed. Steve followed the line of sight before he spotted the small cave opening in a cliffside nearby. Steve hadn’t noticed that the land had such sharp rises in elevation from the treetops, the leaves had just sort of blurred together so everything looked pretty level. Their path to the river had been at a slight decline, and Steve guessed that if they had been just a bit further east they would have ended up climbing a hill to a dead end.

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t already have a resident,” Steve said. He followed Tony as the shorter man took off at a jog towards the cave. He probably was anxious to rest, Steve realized. It was easy to forget that not everyone had supersoldier stamina, and Tony was walking with a lot of extra weight and probably hadn’t slept much lately. Maybe tomorrow he’d be able to convince Tony to let him carry the suit, though he doubted Tony would acquiesce.

Tony reached the cave opening first, peering inside. It was too dark to see much, so he cupped his hands to his mouth. “Hello!” He shouted. Some birds nearby fluttered away in surprise. Tony could hear his voice echo back to him, but there were no growls or anything, so he took that as a win. He shared a look with Steve before Steve pulled out a lighter and they ventured in.

The cave was not big. The two of them could lay curled up, but there would only be room for a small fire as well as their bodies. Tony threw his pack to the ground and watched the armour tumble out with a loud clamour. “Home sweet home,” he muttered.

Steve was still inspecting the cave, looking for any signs that a predator was using it as a den at night. He didn’t see anything, and they needed to get some firewood while there was still some light out if they didn’t want to spend the night in total darkness. “Will you stay and guard the opening while I gather some wood? I don’t want another animal to steal our idea.”

Tony quirked his mouth sideways, unhappy. “We shouldn’t separate.” He seemed to mull their options over for a moment before shaking his head dejectedly. “Fine, but you better stay within earshot.”

Steve saluted the genius. “Sir, yes sir!” He considered it a win when Tony laughed. Sure, the situation kind of sucked, but they may as well enjoy themselves while they were stuck here. If anything, being forced to camp in the woods and be away from the stress of SI could be good for Tony.

By the time night had fallen, they had a nice fire going that made their cave feel cozy. Steve had a couple of meal replacement bars in his many pockets, so they didn’t have to hunt tonight. They agreed to eat only half of their bars, in case finding food tomorrow was harder than they expected. Both of the heroes were generally unworried. Despite Loki’s sureness that Tony would feel useless without tech or something, and the quite common assumption that he didn’t know how to rough it, Tony could handle the great outdoors just as well as anyone else. The only real threat other than bears or boars was boredom. Tony was used to having a computer available every waking moment, so he never needed to waste time without mental stimulation.

Tony took first watch for the night, making himself comfortable in the mouth of their cave. It had been their only disagreement so far in the adventure. Steve tried to cite the serum and saying he didn’t need as much sleep. “Steve, don’t be stupid. We can both sleep, plus I’m still too amped up to sleep.” When Steve had looked at him skeptically, Tony threw a pebble at him. “I have insomnia, okay!?”

Steve threw a pebble back, laughing. “Fine, fine, I’ll sleep first, but only under one condition.”

“Oh?” Tony crossed his arms, fighting off a smile.

“I get to pay for our next date,” he said smugly.

Tony rolled his eyes, leaning down to kiss the supersoldier before walking towards the mouth of the cave. “Why are you like this?” he laughed through the question. “I’m literally rich. I should always pay.”

Steve settled onto the ground, smiling at nothing in particular. “I like watching servers’ reactions when the great Tony Stark isn’t the one paying.” He could hear Tony’s huff of laughter. Loki’s plan had certainly backfired. Tony was more relaxed and happy than Steve had seen him in weeks. Maybe he should coordinate for Loki to always do this in October, but act like it was villainy. Not that Tony would fall for it.

Tony doodled in the dust while Steve slept. He wished he had something to work on here. If it took longer than tomorrow to make it to civilization, he might just lose it. Tony was trying to push away the constant anxiety that he should be working, since of course it couldn’t be helped, but it was hard. Steve was probably the only thing that was keeping him grounded. The man was making an obvious effort to make Tony laugh whenever possible. Tony could appreciate the gesture, but he did really need to get home.

Tony tossed and turned, unable to sleep despite his body’s exhaustion. “Steve,” he whispered.

“Tony? You’re still up?”

Tony didn’t want to ask. He was embarrassed, but the tired homesick side of him won out. “Remember that time I had the flu and was delirious from a fever?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Can you sing that song to me again?” His voice sounded small. He was glad the fire had died down enough that Steve probably couldn’t see him blushing.

Steve chuckled. “I honestly didn’t think you remembered that. But sure.”

Tony met his eyes in the dim light. “Thanks,” he whispered.

Steve felt butterflies in his stomach. It was a feeling he thought would fade with time, but dating Tony felt permanently like being a love-struck teen. He didn’t need to sing above a soft rumble, the small cave’s acoustics making everything louder.

Whispering breezes gently are blowing.

Still in the night the fire light is glowing.

Feed the fire, my friend and brother.

Shall we ever see another.

Tony drifted off to the amber honey tones of Steve’s singing. Maybe there were some upsides to camping, not that he’d admit it out loud.

Tony did not wake up to the gentle sound of Steve like he had hoped, but instead his left arm was itching. Stupid bugs. Tony slapped at his arm without opening his eyes. Maybe he could fall back asleep. “Ow!” He sat up, startled.

Steve startled as well. “What’s wrong?”

Tony pulled his hand away from his arm and investigated in the dawn light shining into the cave. He could see two smears on his hand that had clearly been spiders, and they had both bitten him before they died. “Stupid spiders, yuck!” He wiped his hand off on the ground beneath him.

Steve ventured further into the cave, sitting beside Tony. “Do you think they were venomous?” He bit his lip with worry.

Tony shrugged. “No clue. It only hurt for a second, though, and there’s not that many deadly spiders to adult humans. Probability is on our side.”

Steve didn’t look convinced. “Okay, I guess. Tell me if they get worse, though.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Okay mom,” he said sarcastically. There was no malice behind it, and he placed a kiss on Steve’s nose to make it obvious. “You have quite a voice for lullabies, by the way.”

Tony was so thankful that the cave was facing the rising sun so he could fully appreciate the blush that coloured Steve’s cheeks. “It’s, uh, thanks. It’s a Hungarian folk song, actually. I learned it abroad during the war from a jewish family fleeing their home. We ended up sharing camp with them one night, and traded songs around the fire. It wasn’t until I woke up in this century with the internet that I knew what any of it meant and found a translation,” he smiled sadly, a distant look in his eyes. Tony watched him with baited breath. Steve sometimes reminisced about WWII when he was feeling particularly vulnerable and loved.

When Steve didn’t continue, he asked “You still remembered it well enough to look it up?”

Steve’s smile turned more bittersweet than nostalgic. “Eidetic memory from the serum,” he pointed to his temple. “Though I know that’s technically only for images but I pretty much remember everything like a recording.”

Tony pulled the man into a hug. That was news to him. He didn’t need to be told the underlying statement there. Steve remembered every horrific memory perfectly, too. Tony couldn’t imagine remembering every liberated holocaust camp Steve must’ve seen. He stood and held his hand out to Steve. It was time to get on their way. Steve didn’t need any more reminiscing right now, and Tony had work to do.

It was two hours into their hike that Steve began to notice Tony’s discomfort. He kept adjusting the weight of his sack, grimacing when nothing seemed to help. “Do you want me to carry the suit for a bit?”

Tony scrunched up his face in irritation. It was a testament to how uncomfortable he must be that he didn’t fight it. Tony would normally run himself into the ground before letting people help him; it drove Steve insane. “Actually, yeah. I think I slept on my shoulder wrong.” He rubbed the offending shoulder as he stretched it. Steve was grateful that the makeshift knapsack fit around him, though it was tight. He had a broader chest than Tony. Tony looked up at the tree above him thoughtfully. “I think I’m gonna check the view again. Maybe we can see civilization now.”

“I can do it,” Steve tried, but Tony shook his head. “But your shoulder…”

“It’s just a little sore, I’ll be back in a minute.” Tony made his way up the tree, admittedly a little slower than Steve would’ve, but the burn in his muscles felt good. When he looked ahead, following the river from the new view, a slow smile crept across his face. They could definitely reach that city by nightfall. There’d be phones. They could be home tonight!

In his excitement, Tony climbed down faster than he should’ve. He didn’t slip, he was a graceful athlete thank you very much, but the nice exercise burn had turned into a throbbing ache in his one arm, and he was sweating by the time he reached Steve. “I saw it, babe! We can reach a city tonight!” They threw their arms around each other in excitement. This adventure hadn’t even gone as badly as their usual.

Even without the weight of the suit, Steve watched Tony become drenched in sweat over the next hour. He was rubbing at his left arm and shoulder every few steps, too. “Tony, are you okay? Is it the bites?”

Tony turned to face him and he looked kind of pale. “Actually I’m not great, it might be the bites.” He moaned, then suddenly turned away to vomit on the forest floor. Tony put his hand out to steady himself against a tree. His whole upper body was achy, he felt hot and sweaty, his head hurt, and he was kind of dizzy. He hadn’t wanted to say anything, because they couldn’t slow their pace if they wanted to reach the city tonight.

Steve placed the back of his hand to Tony’s forehead. “Maybe we should take a break,” Steve prodded gently. “You feel feverish.”

Tony shook his head. “We can’t” he groaned. “If it is something to worry about, we definitely need to get somewhere with antivenom.” He heaved again, but there wasn’t much in his stomach anyway. He wiped his mouth and stood, squaring his shoulders. “C’mon Steve.”

Steve had no choice but to follow. He wanted to argue, wanted to comfort Tony and magically wish away the symptoms, but Tony was right. There were two options. Either this was the worst of it and Tony would get better, or it was going to get worse and the city was their only hope. He watched Tony carefully, for any sign of stumbling. Tony didn’t let them stop for a meal, so Steve ate the rest of his bar while Tony merely drank some river water.

His nausea subsided as they walked, but the rest of Tony’s symptoms only got worse. He felt weak and shaky. It was fortunate that Steve could easily carry his shield and the suit, because there’s no way Tony would be able to carry anything like this. It took enough effort just to keep placing one foot in front of the other. Tony had survived much worse than spiders. He could do this.

Steve didn’t catch him in time when Tony crumpled to the ground. “Tony!”

Tony groaned, looking up at the blond miserably. His breathing was shallow and his eyes glassy. “Steve, it’s too much. I feel like I can’t get in a good breath and everything hurts.” Tony gasped as his left arm spasmed painfully.

Steve scooped up Tony. This wasn’t the first time he thanked God Tony was small. Even with the serum, carrying all of this was work. “Just stay with me, honey, we’re almost there.” He felt Tony nod into his stomach. His labored breathing set Steve on edge. What was he going to do if the man stopped breathing altogether? All of this was from a couple of spiders. Knowing Tony’s luck in particular, Steve would bet money that the effects of whatever venom this was probably wasn’t even supposed to be this severe. Tony was overworked, underfed, and already had breathing problems from the diminished lung capacity. Having a giant electromagnet in place of your sternum and taking of some of the pleural space would do that. It’s why Tony couldn’t ski anymore; the risk of altitude sickness was too high.

Steve was sweating himself when the city finally came into view, the trees becoming less dense very suddenly. “Tony we made it.”

Tony groaned, but he was still awake. “Thank the universe,” he muttered. It sounded like a curse. “I hate camping.”

As soon as they reached a main road, Steve hailed a cab, asking them to step on it to the nearest hospital. They were safe now. Tony hadn’t gotten any worse, and he was sure there’d be an antivenom. “I think I finally agree with you,” Steve whispered. He ran his fingers through Tony’s sweaty hair where his head lay in Steve’s lap. “No more camping.”

#thearkoctoberchallenge2018 #stony #lost in the woods #fanfic #avengers #marvel #steve rogers #tony stark

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freetheshit-outofyou · 2 years ago

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Funny Army story. When I was stationed in Panama drunk G.I.'s do what drunk G.I.'s do and we were talking shit about how this one NCO (SGT. S.) owed just about all the other NCO's money. The guy really was a mooch. Anyway, we had a couple of these old 75k (The important part is thes put out 1.2 microcoulombs, that is the pain causing part of the amps/volts equation. At least that is my understanding.) stun guns that we used for training sitting around. Everyone called their markers in on this one NCO, knowing he could not pay. It was suggested that if he shot his nuts with a stun gun the debt would be forgiven. He was not having it, but he owed a few hundred bucks he did not have, then his wife called him out and told him to take the deal. So, the scene is set, there are about 20 of us packed in one of the barracks bay style showers, the stun gun in one hand a beer in the other, huddled in one corner. His wife is calling him every cuck-fuck word she can think of and telling him to do it. SGT S., puts the stun gun on is bare nut, not just his sack and pulls the trigger. Nothing, no click click click, no spark nothing. Fucking SGT S. never turned it on. I think everyone in there through a beer can at him for that. He sets it all up again and gives a solid pull of the trigger to show that is is working. Tick Tick Tick lough as shit in the shower. He puts it on his nut, pulls the trigger. All hell breaks loose, first he screams and starts pissing all over himself. Every "Joe" in their is just dying while SGT S. is crying in a pool of his own piss. But the the topper was when his wife, also a Soldier, threw a crumpled up handful of dollar bills at him and said "Now go home and make me a sandwich." OMFUCKING GOD we all fell out.

LOL

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cherokeeakanewe-blog · 5 years ago

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Levels

hoe don’t violate

you know them colorful bitches bee tripping

on they feminism everyday

haunting they made-enemies down like them overseers cruising in plastic steel rolling on dem four dirty dry rubbers discoed out

with they gun in the holster on they waist like an

outlaw

a gangbanger

a survivalist

a puppet

a racist

a frat

a soro

a cigarette

a busta

a mark

an example

of why each and every masculine hormones be ramping upped amping

and you know them At-Risk Youth be seeing everything nowadays drinking on a forty ounce laid back chilling in the live paint in the backseat of an eighty eight cadillac

cheerleaders be down to be they secret booty beat box to be exact

needed nerds get clowned fore being more intelligent

stuck-ups be on they miseducated period orbiting nowhere important but in that book of fake beauty practicum

all these behaviors be walking around like sitcom characters

riding to the side

one arm barred one hand grip on the steering wheel gangsta

smoking on a phat sack

of that dusk to dawn

bumping more than a funky bass and treble line

sum have burnt fingertips from blown stuck glass dreams

seems like my fuller pockets can be weighed more on a triple beam

paraphernalia to the digital scale

and my night mare needs a pat on her satin back for looking so radiant and striking

in my cargo van peeping opportunities in between human bodies

where they coming and going like ants ready to go to work

or resting immaculately

getting trendy by the societal swang

on the corners be them cameras posted

viewing who be standing out

getting targeted silently without a doubt

by the same official general manager you voted in

sweared an foreign oath

i rather vote myself in a precise schedule to gather similar mindsets and they indigenous bodies with monies

donate dem loose ends in the pot of the come-up gumbo

for the future pushing cared-fore pieces forward you ain’t know

i’m in the paint deeper penetrated

getting my ball on

crossing over my gains from rite to left

as phone calls be calling

emails get checked

potential lawsuits get lined up

palo santo sprayed on my thangs

in my house i swirls dem smoky wands of sage

cause i got mo Ancestors to meet

i’m just a youngsta in the deep

with Roots growing as they creep

boiled from the raw chopped and whole to steep

in the kitchen about my light years I leap to

outlive my emotions in the flesh by recording pen sentences about they prisoners of final war on that paper originally written

of the magick you can feel each and every time eyes reel into they brains to sea feelings be real indeed enough to

outlive my whole being bringing back wonder like ocean curls and bling gold teef

hoe don’t violate

looking at me devilish like a freaky sweater

knowing Yaa Asantewaa and Ranavalona taught you better....

#black poetry #black literature #black woman #black poet #black realism #black education #black female #black girl #black teen

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animefagos · 3 years ago

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El anime Sacks&Guns!! se estrenará en octubre y revela nueva promo

Nueva entrada publicada en https://www.animefagos.com/2021/07/07/el-anime-sacksguns-se-estrenara-en-octubre-y-revela-nueva-promo/

El anime Sacks&Guns!! se estrenará en octubre y revela nueva promo

La página web oficial de Sacks&Guns!!, la adaptación animada de la novela Sakugan Labyrinth Marker, de Nekotarō Inui, ha publicado un nuevo vídeo promocional del anime. El vídeo revela que el anime se estrenará en octubre. Originalmente se iba a estrenar en 2020. Las voces anunciadas anteriormente son: Kanon Amane como Memenpu Hiroki Touchi como Gagamba Kana Hanazawa como Zackletu Toshiyuki…

#Nekotarō Inui #Sacks&Guns!!#Sakugan Labyrinth Marker #Satelight

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hammerofthezods · 7 years ago

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Movie Review: Point Break

Point Break is a movie about these guys who are surfers and FBI agents and burglars. This movie has some way serious star power. The main good guy is played by Keanu Reeves who was also in a bunch of other movies like the Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and The Matrix. The main bad guy, and sexiest character of all, is played by none other than everyone's hero, Patrick Swayze. Swayze is in a lot of movies where he plays a sexy guy like Roadhouse and Dirty Dancing and Red Dawn. In Roadhouse he beat up tons of people and had wall sex with this smoking hot blond chick. Gary Busey is also in this movie and he plays this crazy FBI guy who loves the shit out of meatball sandwiches. So what happens is that this guy named Johnny Utah, played by Keanu Reeves, wants to be an FBI agent. He goes to the FBI and they tell him that he can join them if he passes this test where he shoots things with a shotgun while it's raining. So Johnny does this and the FBI lets him be an agent. His first assignment is in California where he is supposed to investigate bank robberies with his new partner, Angelo Pappas. Pappas is played by Gary Busey. When Johnny gets to the FBI station in California, he eats a donut and then goes to meet his new partner who is swimming in a pool. Pappas sees the handsome young Johnny and is all like "What the fuck, man? This kid is going to totally suck at this because he's so handsome." Anyway, Pappas and Johnny are now partners and they go looking for bank robbers. The main bank robbers that they are looking for is this group of guys who dress up like US presidents and go to banks where they yell at people while using their guns to steal money. They rob tons of banks and are pretty good at it. No one has any clue who they are which pisses off the FBI greatly. However, Pappas has this hare-brained idea that the robbers are a bunch of surfers trying to raise money to go surfing. Everyone at FBI thinks he is dumb as shit and old so no one believes his theory about the surfing burglars. Johnny, however, is just a rookie so he has to act like it's a good idea. Anyway, in order to infiltrate the surfer gang, Utah goes undercover as a surfer. The first time he and Pappas go to the beach is just so damn funny. They walk around and act like total narcs. When Johnny goes into the water to learn how to surf, he makes this other surfer fall down. This guy gets really pissed and punches Johnny right in his face. The next day, Johnny goes back to surfing and almost drowns because he sucks so bad at it. While he's drowning, this girl saves his life and pulls him to the beach. She then yells at him for being such a n00b and makes fun of his big stupid surf board. The girl's name is Tyler and is played by Lori Pety who was also in the movie Tank Girl where I guess she played a girl tank driver (like that'd ever happen). Anyway, Johnny wants to have sex with Tyler so he watches her through binoculars when she comes off the beach. The she drives away and Johnny followers her to her job at a Dairy Queen. He also calls FBI and makes them look at her permanent record so he can know about her. Turns out that she's an orphan which gives him an "in" with her because he can lie about being an orphan as well. He walks into Tyler's work and orders shrimp and a Dilly Bar. When she looks up, she sees that it's the lame-ass guy from surfing and she gets pissed because he stalked her there. Then he tells her that his parents where run over by a train which, hahaha, what is this the 1800's? So now she kind of likes him and says that she will teach him how to shred on waves with his big dumb surfboard. The next day Tyler teaches Johnny how to surf and he just looks so damn terrible doing it. Everyone makes fun of him and he gets pissed. Then one time he finally surfs like a normal person and is very happy about that. When they are done surfing for the day, Tyler and Johnny walk back to the beach where they meet Patrick Swayze who's name is Bodie. It's very obvious that Bodie is the coolest surfer of all time because of his nice body and long hair. Then Bodie asks Johnny if he wants to play beach football with some other guys from a surfing club. Johnny says yes. Turns out that Johnny was a superstar QB at Ohio State, which LOL. Now everyone is playing football and scoring touchdowns and having a super time. This one time, Bodie keeps the ball on a sweep and runs down the beach. Johnny is all like "Nope" and hauls ass after him. After he slam tackles Bodie into the water, all the guys in the surfing club get really pissed because, hey man, we're just playing for fun here. Bodie then tells everyone that this is Johnny Utah from Ohio State and then they all love him because of that. Now they are all best friends. One day when Johnny is out undercover surfing, he runs into that one dude from earlier who punched him right in his face. This time, though, the guy brings a bunch of friends with him and they are so amped up to beat up Johnny real good. They start to battle and Johnny is doing pretty good and beats up a couple of them. Oh yeah, two of the surfer guys are from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers rock and roll band. I guess they got tired of making the shittiest music of all time and wanted to be in a movie. So after Johnny gets in a few good punches and kicks, the surfers start to win the fight. Just as we think they are going to murder Johnny right there on the goddamned beach, Bodie shows up and starts taking the fucking wood to these guys. This totally re-energizes Johnny who kicks more ass too. The funniest part is that while all this is happening, Pappas realizes that Johnny has been gone for too long so he yells into his walkie-talkie "WHERE ARE YOU JOHNNY? YOU BETTER NOT BE PICKING UP ANY BABES!" Hahaha. I laughed so damn hard when he said that. Then Bodie invites Johnny to a surfing party at his house. Johnny and Pappas totally think that the Red Hot Chili Peppers surfing gang are the bank robbers so they plan to go arrest them the next day. But first, Johnny goes to the party at Bodies house. At the party there are just so many babes and rock music. People are dancing and drinking alcohol and telling surfing stories. Then Bodie and his gang invite Tyler, who is also there, and Johnny to go night surfing. After they catch all of the waves for the night, Tyler and Johnny do it on the beach. When they wake up the next morning, Utah has to run to the bad surfer gang's house to arrest them for robbing banks. When the try to make the bust, everything just goes all to shit. There are people shooting all over the place and naked chicks kicking ass and all kinds of other stuff. Finally, the FBI guys get everything under control. Then Pappas points his gun at one of the guys and says "Speak into the microphone" which is really funny because he always says these stupid lines. It turns out that these guys are not the bank robbers because they are too busy selling meth. Everybody totally makes so much fun of Johnny and Pappas because they suck so damn hard at being in the FBI. So now it's early as shit the next morning and Johnny is lying in bed with Tyler. Then Johnny and his friends come over and say that they want to go surfing. While they are surfing, Johnny suddenly figures out that the robbers are these guys and he runs away to do some investigating. Then he goes and tells Pappas who doesn't believe him at first but finally comes around because he's a good partner and also because he kind of doesn't give a shit. The next day, Utah and Pappas go wait outside of the bank that is going to be robbed next. This is when the best part of the whole movie (possibly of any movie ever) happens. They're waiting outside the bank and Pappas says that he's hungry and tells Utah to go get him two meatball sandwiches because they are just so damn good. He loves them so much that as Johnny is walking to get them Pappas leans out the window of the car and says "Utah! Get me Two!". You have to watch this because it's just an awesome line. The guy just loves those damn meatball sandwiches. When Johnny gets back, Pappas starts to eat his lunch, but then they see that the bank is getting robbed. When the robbers run out with sacks full of money, Johnny shoots at them giving absolute no fucks about all the nearby civilians. Of course he misses, so now a car chase starts. They chase the robbers to a gas station where the robber dressed like Ronald Reagan makes a flame thrower and flame throws a bunch of shit. Then Johnny starts to chase Reagan and they run all over the city. This one time, Reagan throws and damn pit bull at Utah which is hilarious. Finally, they run down a hill where Johnny hurts his dainty little knee and has to stop running so Reagan gets away. Also, the guy dressed up as Reagan is actually Bodie. Later that night, Johnny is sleeping when Tyler finds his FBI gear and gets mad so she shoots the pillow next to him with a gun then runs away. Johnny is so sad and tries to call her a bunch but she doesn't answer the phone. Then Bodie comes over with the other surfers and tells Utah to get his shit because they're all going skydiving. At this point, Bodie and his gang know that Johnny is FBI and Johnny also knows that they know but nobody says anything and everyone just plays it all cool. So then they go skydiving and Johnny has a super time doing it. When they get back on the ground, Bodie tells Johnny that one of the other gang members has stolen Tyler and will only let her go if Johnny helps them rob a bank. Utah is pretty pissed about this because he'll get in tons of trouble so he says "I. AM. AN. FBI. AGENT!" which is just awesome. Bodie laughs at him and says "Sorry, bro. Today you're going to be a bank robber. And oh yeah, here's a shotgun to rob the bank with but it's not loaded because we don't like you anymore." Now they all go to rob a bank together. When they are inside robbing, there is an undercover cop there cashing a check, maybe his paycheck, and he starts to shoot at the robbers. He hits one and then somebody shoots the shit out of him. The robber that got shot dies and then everyone goes to leave. Before they run away, Bodie knocks Utah out by hitting him with a gun. When Johnny wakes up, all the cops are there and they go to arrest Johnny. Pappas shows up and punches the President FBI in the face and takes Johnny away. Johnny says the robbers are at the airport getting ready to go sky diving again so Pappas drives them there. When they get to the airport Pappas drops Johnny off and then goes to find a sniper spot to shoot people from. Johnny goes up to Bodie and tells him to let Tyler go. Bodie says "LoL. Nope!" Just then one of Bodie's friends finds Pappas in the sniper position and kills him but not before Pappas shoots the guy in his torso. So now, Bodie tells Utah that he has to go skydiving with them if he wants to get Tyler back. When they are up in the plane, Bodie give the guy that Pappas shot a bag of money and pushes him out the door and he dies. Then Bodie jumps out with a parachute. Johnny gets pissed because there are no more parachutes so he punches the plane. Then he decides to jump after Bodie without a parachute. So he jumps out and then catches Bodie in the air and gives him a big bear hug. So now they are hugging and falling to the ground and right at the last minute Johnny pulls the parachute cord and then they hit the ground rolling around and crying. Now the guy who stole Tyler drives up and lets her go. She runs towards Johnny and she's only wearing this sexy lingerie so you can kind of see her boobs. Then Bodie gets in the car and drives away with all the money from the bank. So now it's like a year later and Johnny is driving around Australia in a jeep. He also has long hair and a jeans jacket. He drives to the beach just as a big storm hits. He sees Bodie on the beach and starts to walk over to him. Then we see that there are a bunch of cops around and apparently Johnny is helping them capture Bodie once and for all. So, Johnny walks over to Bodie and says "You're under arrest!" Bodie is all like "Come on, bro. Just let me go ride this gigantic storm wave that I'll end up dying in because I don't want to go to jail." Because Johnny is now a surfer, he let's Bodie go die in the wave. After Bodie gets eaten by the big wave, Johnny throws his FBI badge away because he wants to be a full time surfer now. Then the movie is over. This movie is so damn good you guys. It has all kinds of cool shit in it. There's surfing and guns and chicks and fights and Pappas says awesome shit all the time. I highly recommend you watch this many times.

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nemesisbinxartifactseries · 5 years ago

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Artifact Series C

C. Everett Koop's Scalpel

C. Henry Kempe's Teddy Bear

C.D. Atkins' Orange Juice Jug

C. H. Bennett's Ball of String

C. L. Blood's Bellows

C. S. Lewis' Wardrobe

C. S. Lewis' Writing Pen

C.S.A.: Confederate States of America Film Poster

Cab Calloway’s Zoot Suit

Cabbage Patch Monkey Doll

Cable from the Warsaw Radio Mast

Cai Lun’s Paper

Cain's Stone

Calaveras Skull

Calico Jack's Belt

Calico Jack's Flintlock Pistol

California Gold Rush Mining Pan

Caligula's Battle Armor

Caligula's Sandals *

Calvin Coolidge's Kerosene Lamp

Calvin Graham’s Sailor Suit

Calypso's Conch

Camera from the Ed Sullivan Show

Cameron Todd Willingham's Lighter

Camille Flammarion's Flammarion Engraving

Candles from Jeanne Calment's 100th Birthday Cake

Candle from the Conspirators Camp

Cangjie’s Oracle Bone Script

Canister of Greek Fire

Canister of Inconsolability *

Cannon from the Battle of Narva

Cao Cao’s Beard Brush

Captain Adrian Snow's Gauntlet

Captain Edward John Smith's Hat

Captain Gallagher’s Sword Hilt

Captain Hendrick Goosen's Trawling Net

Captain Joseph White’s Mattress

Caracalla's Bathing Amphora

Caravaggio’s Nativity with St. Francis and St. Lawrence

Caravaggio's The Lute Player *

Carbondale Oppressing Iron *

Cardea's Hinge

Cardinal Richelieu's Table Knife

Caretaker Ribbon *

Carey Loftin's Gloves *

Carl Barks' Animation Cels

Carl Hagenbeck's Circus Wagon

Carl G. Fisher’s Acetylene Headlight

Carl Gustav Hempel's Apple

Carl Jung's Cuckoo Clock

Carl Jung’s Sofa Cushion

Carl Laemmle's Nickelodeon

Carl Linnaeus' Cravat

Carl Linnaeus' Herbarium

Carl Magee’s Parking Meter

Carl McCunn's Driver License

Carl Ray's Paint Brushes

Carl Sagan's Jacket

Carlo Collodi's Bracelet *

Carlo Pellegrini’s Spats

Carlos Arredondo's Hat

Carlos Hathcock's Feather

Carlos Marcello's Favorite Table

Carmen Miranda's Maracas

Carmine Galante’s Cigar

Carnation Flowers from the Carnation Revolution

Carrie Nation’s Hatchet

Carrie White's Prom Dress

Carry-on Bag

Casey Jones' Pocketwatch

Casey Martin's Golf Club

Casey Martin’s Golf Tee

Casimir Pulaski's and Michael Kovats de Fabriczy's Hessian Cavalry Swords

Casimir Zeglen’s Bulletproof Vest

Cask of Amontillado

Caspar Wistar’s Shutters

Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson's '58 Ford Thunderbird

Cassie Chadwick's Pearl Necklace

Cassius Dio's Silver Coins

Castle Crasher Knight's Weapons

Catequil's Clubs

Caterina Sforza's Spine

Catherine de' Medici's Corset

Catherine of Aragon's Wedding Ring

Catherine O'Leary's Cow Bell *

Catherine the Great's Scarf

Catherine the Great's Slippers

Catherine the Great's Washing Board *

"Cats" Vinyl Record

Cattle Skull

Caucasian Eagle Automaton

Caught-in-the-Throat "Laff!" Sign *

Cauldron of Annwn

Cauldron of Rebirth

Cave of the Piasa Bird

Cecil B. DeMille's Riding Crop *

Cecília Meireles' Rose Pen

Cellphone from the Set of Dollhouse

Celtic Red Deer Hide

Ceramic Black Buffalo

Ceramic Figurine Collection

Cernunnos' Torc

Cesar Chavez's Hoe

Cesar Chavez's Trellis

Cesira Ferrani's Atomizer

Chain from St. Mary of Bethlehem Asylum

Chains Used to Topple Saddam Hussein's Statue in Firdos Square

Chair from the Norrmalmstorg Bank Robbery

Chalice of Dionysus

Chalkboard Erasers from the Tanganyika Laughter Epidemic

Champagne Glasses From the SS United States

Chandelier from the Montansier Opera House *

Chandre Oram's Flag

Chang and Eng Bunker's Wedding Rings

Chang Apana's Detective Badge

Charlemagne's Crown

Charlemagne's Stirrup

Charles II of Navarre’s Bandages

Charles II's Croquet Balls *

Charles II's Executioner Axe

Charles VI’s Pillow

Charles Addams' Harpsichord

Charles Algernon Parsons' Gramophone Horn

Charles Angibaud’s Mortar

Charles Babbage's Gears

Charles Babbage's Difference Engine

Charles Baudelaire's Second Volume of Les Fleurs du mal

Charles B. Franklin’s Camshaft

Charles Bell's Rolls of Canvas

Charles Blondin's Tightrope

Charles Blondin's Unitard

Charles the Bold’s Livery Collar

Charles Bourseul’s Telephone

Charles Bowles' Flour Sack

Charles Calvert's Tobacco

Charles Carpenter’s Bazookas

Charles Correll's Amos 'n' Andy Taxi

Charles Coughlin's Collar

Charles Cretors’ Popcorn Cart

Charles Cullen's Scrubs

Charles Darwin’s Magnifying Glass

Charles Darwin's Spyglass

Charles Davenport's Syringe

Charles Dickens' Badminton Racket *

Charles Dickens’ Desk

Charles Dickens' Scotch

Charles Dodgson's Rosary

Charles Douglass’ Laff Box

Charles Édouard Guillaume's Balance Wheel

Charles F. Urschel’s Blindfold

Charles Fort’s Newspaper Clippings

Charles Fort's Umbrella

Charles Francis Hall's Coffee Cup

Charles Goodyear's Synthetic Rubber

Charles Hanson's Rocking Horse *

Charles J. Guiteau’s Revolver

Charles Jeffries' Skeleton Army Cap

Charles Kingsford Smith's Airplane's Undercarriage Leg and Wheel

Charles Knight's Hail Cannon

Charles Lindbergh Jr.’s Baby Rattle

Charles Lyell's Tool Belt

Charles M. Schulz's Pumpkin

Charles Macintosh's Socks

Charles Manson's Metal Guitar Pick

Charles Manson's VW Bus

Charles Martel's Stirrup

Charles Minthorn Murphy’s Bicycle Rollers

Charles Osborne's Water Cup

Charles Page's Cross

Charles Peace's Gold Pocketwatch

Charles Pearson's Tin-Can Telephone

Charles Perrault's Seven-League Boots

Charles Portal's RAF Pin

Charles Ponzi's Money Clip *

Charles Richter and Beno Gutenberg's Paper Roll and Pen

Charles Richter's Fountain Pen and Cap

Charles Simic's Fork

Charles Wells’ Roulette Wheel

Charles Whitman's Sniper Rifle

Charley Parkhurst's Whip

Charlie Chaplin's Bowler Hat

Charlie Chaplin's Cane

Charlotte Corday's Hairbrush

Charlotte Perkins Gilman's Wallpaper

Charlton Heston's Rifle

Charles Whitman's Sniper Rifle

Charred Crane from Greene County Oil Well Fire

Château de Madrid Majolica

Che Guevara's Beret

Chen Si's Motorbike

Chernobyl Three's Lab Coats

Cherry Hill Murder Artifacts

The Chest of Chirizu-kakai-o

Chester Moore Hall's Achromatic Lens *

Chesty Puller's Bullet Shells

Chesty Puller's Five Navy Crosses

Chicago May's Lipstick

Chicago Wheel

Chief Tecumseh's Robes

Chimariko Tribe Shaman Drum

Chi Medallion

Chicago City Key Chain

Chinese Baoding Balls

Chinese Chopsticks

Chinese Doubling Pot

Chinese New Year Good Luck Knot

Chinese New Year Red Envelope

Chinese Orchid *

The Chinese Sandalwood

Ching Ling Foo’s Bowl

Ching Shih's Katana

Chiune Sugihara's Visa Stamp

Choe Bu's Diary

Choe Museon’s Hwacha

Chris Gardner's Parking Tickets

Chris Hadfield's Acoustic Guitar

Christchurch City Cathedral Spire

Christiaan Barnard's Scalpel

Christiaan Huygens' Pendulum

Christiaan Huygens' Prism

Christian Doppler's Tie

Christian Mortensen's Thread and Needle

Christina the Astonishing's Thurible

Christine Chubbuck's Pearl Necklace

Christine Skubish's Toy Blocks

Christmas Lights from the Rockefeller Tree

Christmas Pyramid

Christmas Truce Submarine Ornament *

Christopher Columbus' Brooch *

Christopher Lee's Bowtie

Christopher Lee's Copy of The Lord of the Rings

Christopher Müller’s Gold Tooth

Christopher Reeve's Superman Cape

Christopher Robin Milne's Sketchpad

Chōchin-obake

Choe Bu's Diary

Chōjun Miyagi's Gi Belt

Chowchilla Kidnapping School Bus

Chromatic Bermuda Kite

Chrysippus' Wine Bottle

Chuck Jones' Glasses

Chucky Doll

Chuck Yeager's Favourite Record *

Chuck Yeager's Flight Helmet

Chun-Kwai Seducing Vase *

Chung Ling Soo's Plate

Chunk of the Chelyabinsk Meteor

Church of St. Pancras' Altar Cross

Chyren's Rapier

Cinderella's Carriage

Cinderella's Glass Knife *

Cine-Kodak 8 Model 25 Camera

Cintamani Stone

Circe's Wand

Cirque du Soleil Leotard

Civil War Snare Drums

Clap-board from Thriller

Clara Barton's Gloves *

Clarence Birdseye's Food Freezer

Clarence Birdseye's Heat Pump

Clarence Saunders’ Turnstile

Clark Gable's Grooming Kit *

Clark Wiley's Cage

Claude Alexander Conlin’s Crystal Ball

Claude Alexander Conlin's Thought Control Turban *

Claude Louis Berthollet's Snuff Box

Claude Shannon's Chess Board

Claus von Stauffenberg’s Plastic Explosive

Claus von Stauffenberg's Suitcase

Clay Models From Corpse Bride

Clement Moore's Pen

Clementine's Ballcap

Cleopatra's Perfume Jar

Cleopatra's Preserved Asp *

Cleve Hall's Airbrush

Clever Hans’s Horseshoes

Clint Malarchuk's Blood-Stained Jersey

Clipped Wings of Pegasus

Clock Face and Hands from the Original Big Ben

Closet Door

Clothing Folding Laundry Hamper

Clyde Barrow's B.A.R. Machine Gun

Clyde W. Tombaugh's Photographic Plates

Coclé Cat

Coconut Husks from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Coco Chanel's Handbag

Code of Hammurabi Tablet

Cold Feet Shoes

Cold War Air Raid Siren

Cole MacGrath's Amp

Cole MacGrath's Courier Jacket

Collection of Jimmy MacDonald's Sound Effect Devices

Colonel Sanders' Suit

Colossus Computer Vacuum Tubes

The Colt used by Clement Vallandigham

Columbia Space Shuttle

Combustable Figgy Pudding

The Comfy Chair

Complete Encyclopedia Brittanica, Circa 1966 *

Confucius' Flip-Flops *

Confucius' Lantern

Congo the Chimpanzee's Paint Brushes

Connor Kenway's Tomahawk

Conrad Haas’ Nozzle

Conrad Reed's Gold Nuggets

Consoling Valentine's Day Chocolates

Constance of Penafiel's Throne

Constantine the Great's Crucifix *

Constricting Yo-Yo

Conversation-Stopping Robot

Convincing Dreidels (canon)

Constantin Stanislavski's Eyeglasses

"Cookie Thieves Beware" Cookie Jar

Cookware from the Iron Chef Set

Copper Bowls of Life and Death *

Copper Roof Panel from the Plaza Hotel

Copy of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial from the Alamogordo Landfill

Coraline Jones' Doll

Corbels from the Church of St Mary and St David

The Cordwaining Shoebox

Cornelis Drebbel’s Micro-Telescope

Cornelis Drebbel's Oar

Corner of Moses Stone Tablet *

Corrupted Zalgo Computers

Corsican Brother's Vest *

Corn Popper

Corvo Attano's Gas Mask

Customer Service Cell Phone *

The Cottingley Fairies

Cotton Club Matchbox

Cotton Swab from the Phantom of Heilbronn

Count of St. Germain's Ring *

Cover of the Book of Kells

Covered Wagon

Craig Jackson's Watch

Craig Shergold’s Greeting Cards

Cranston's Police Blotter

Crazy Horse's Tomahawk

Creighton Abrams' Hat

Cretan Labyrinth Archway

Cristofori's Piano Keyboard

Cross Brace from the LZ 129 Hindenburg

Crown Devon Honey Pot Preserves Jar

Crown of Minos

Crown Prince Sado's Sandals

Crowns of Peter and Ines

Crying Heart Piano

Cryogenic Gas Heater

Crystal Skull

Crystalline Diamond Necklace *

Ctesibius' Water Clock

Cuchulainn's Post

The Cudgel in the Sack

Cuevas de los Cristales Selenite Sample

Cupid's Arrows

Currier & Ives Advent Calendar *

Curtis Ebbesmeyer’s Friendly Floatees Bath Toys

Cutthroat Kitchen's Hatchet

Currency Changing Wallet

Cy Young's Baseball

Cybermen Outfits

Cymbal-Banging Monkey

Cynebil of Porththorp's Jawbone and Skull

Cynthia Doll

Cyrill Demian's Accordion

Cyrus Teed's Orrery

Cyrus the Great's Achaemenian Tapestry

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