#STILL he's always ���backup”

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

look if finwë’s kids are like this, and his grandkids are like that, i feel pretty secure in saying the elf himself must have been an absolute fucking nightmare. melkor made sure to take him out early because if given the slightest opportunity to level up he would immediately become unstoppable

[sesamenom]

more from the reverse gondolin au

[sincerely-sofie]

*silently slides Twig/Ark content onto your dash* *scurries away into the night*

(Read the rest under the cut!)

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

oh my god you know fnc nat 20 kiss??? apparently the INTENDED SOLUTION for 'perform an act of love' was a) put on a show and pretend to propose, or b) save whoever fell into the water

[acourtofquestions]

Fenrys whispered, "Holy gods."

Not at the bridge that snapped down, soldiers teeming in the dark depths inside. But at who emerged from the keep archway behind them. What emerged. Rowan didn't know where to look. At the soldiers pouring out of the siege tower, leaping onto the battlements, or at Aelin.

At the Queen of Terrasen.

She'd found armor below the keep. Beautiful, pale gold armor that gleamed like a summer dawn. Holding back her braided hair, a diadem lay flush against her head. Not a diadem, but a piece of armor. Part of some ancient set for a lady long since buried. A crown for war, a crown to wear into battle. A crown to lead armies.

There was no fear on her face, no doubt, as Aelin hefted her shield, flipping Goldryn in her hand once before the first of Morath's soldiers was upon her. Rowan launched into movement, his blades finding their marks, but still he watched her.

Aelin slammed her shield against an oncoming warrior, Goldryn slicing through another before she plunged the blade into the soldier she'd deflected. She did it again, and again.

All while heading toward that siege tower. Unhindered. Unleashed.

A call went down the line. The queen has come.

She planted her line before the gaping maw of that siege tower, right in the path of those teeming hordes. Every moment of the training she'd done on the ship here, on the road, every new blister and callus—all to rebuild herself for this.

The queen has come.

Goldryn unfaltering, her shield an extension of her arm, Aelin glowed like the sun that now broke over the khagan's army as she engaged each soldier that hurtled her way. Five, ten—she moved and moved and moved, ducking and swiping, shoving and flipping, black blood spraying, her face the portrait of grim, unbreaking will.

"The queen!" the men shouted. "To the queen!"

And as Rowan fought his way closer, as that cry went down the battlements and Anielle men ran to aid her, he realized that Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow. That she had been waiting, yanking at the bit, to show them what she, without magic, without any godly power, might do. He'd never seen such a glorious sight. In every land, every battle, he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin before the throat of the siege tower, holding the line. Dawn breaking around them, Rowan loosed a battle cry and tore into Morath.

[softquietsteadylove]

Here is an idea.

For the human AU a new deviant appears. But it’s not that kind of deviant we know. It has some special abilities and Gil is in danger. How about some horror for this one? 👀

"Gil!"

His head whipped around. He was helping clean up some of the ruins of the outer city, since that was all he was good for, now. The moon was high, providing a good amount of light.

The others were reluctant to let him outside Babylon temple--they were reluctant to let him do anything. He had to all but sneak out to even do this much, especially without worrying Thena.

"Gilgamesh!"

That was definitely her voice, though. Gil dropped the rocks he was moving and looked around again. He couldn't sense anything, but his senses were diminished at the moment. He tried to listen for the slightest sound, but he couldn't pick up anything.

He cursed his human condition, not for the first time.

"Gil, help me!"

That was definitely Thena screaming. It was her voice, at least. Gilgamesh started walking, looking around the corners of crumbled homes and around the deep shadows of the rubble. His cautious steps turned to a light jog.

"Gil, please!"

"Thena?" he called out, but he swore it was just the open air to hear him. What was happening? He jogged closer to the edges of the walls. The wall was still technically under construction, Phastos working as fast as he could. But Gil was the main source of their work efforts, and Babylon wall was huge.

"Gil?" it sounded like a whisper, now. But it was still her voice, thin and high, as if she had been crying. He had never really heard her like that before. But it was his Thena. It was her voice.

"Thena," he repeated, whispering for her as he crept around in the dark. "Thena, if you-"

"Gilgamesh," the voice changed. This sounded less like her. He knew it was off.

He froze. He didn't have Eternal strength or senses anymore, but humans had the best survival instinct. His was screaming. Something wasn't right. It wasn't before and it really wasn't now. He crouched lower, looking around but slowing his breathing as much as he could. His heart was pounding.

"Gilgamesh, help me," the voice cooed, but it was closer. He could better hear what was wrong with it--the wiry echo trailing after it. It sounded almost mechanical, like the grind of Phastos' gears.

Gil lowered to one knee, trying to peek around one of the corners of a building's remains. He hadn't heard it at all, but he saw the massive foot come down. It was wiry, thickly muscled, a terrible colour.

"Gil, help!" it repeated, in the same tone and intonation as last time. It could only conjure so much.

He held his breath, and when he did need to breathe, he pressed his palm over his mouth and nose. This was like the one that had rendered him all but human. They were evolving, and not just new appendages or wings or even that gas. This one was luring them into a trap.

"Gilgamesh, help me!" it repeated, louder this time. It prowled around the house. It was assuring that these things still had some weaknesses to account for.

He watched as the thing rounded the corner. Its head looked like it was a bare skull in comparison to the rest of its body. Perhaps it didn't have a sense of smell, and that was why it was depending on using the sounds it was producing to lure its prey.

Its horrible maw opened again, its paws hitting the ground. "Gil, please."

He didn't like that it could make it sound so convincing. It really sounded like Thena--it sounded like her voice crying for him. How would this walking nightmare know what that sounded like? And how did it know exactly whose voice to use to lure him out here?

"Gil," the beast repeated in his sweet Thena's voice. Its teeth clicked against themselves as its jaw swayed back and forth on its head. "Gilgamesh, please."

He could hear it now. The way it chopped up the words, not sounding totally fluid. But he had to get this close to hear that? If he weren't careful, he would already be fighting this thing.

And that wasn't an option for him now. He was in no condition to fight a Deviant, let alone an evolved one. And it had lured him out here, in the dark, alone.

Fear: humans felt fear. They had incredible instincts for self-preservation, protection, survival. But every cell in his body - whatever body it was - was feeling fear. And he had never felt fear quite like this.

He could die out here.

The Deviant drew closer to him. It repeated the sounds of Thena's distress, switching to screams of terror and agony. What a terrible monster these things could be. They really were here for a reason; humans couldn't fight these things.

He couldn't fight this thing. He couldn't fight at all, anymore. Pure instinct had brought him out here--a need to protect Thena. But she was the one protecting him. She was the Fighter of them now.

He had never had to consider life without Thena. She probably hadn't considered it either. Would he be leaving her alone if he died out here? What if she fought this thing? Would it use his voice to lure her out alone like it did with him?

She could fight it. She was stronger than this thing. He was still glad that it wasn't her that had been turned human. He hated being this vulnerable--this useless. But he hated the thought of it being Thena even more.

"Gilgamesh," that thing whispered. It was right on top of him.

He breathed into his palm. He couldn't control his heart, he couldn't control his lungs. His body was crumbling under the pressure. Thousands of years of fighting and it was lost on the human adrenal system. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Maybe he could manage to see Thena one last time before he died.

"Gil!"

That time sounded different. He kept his eyes shut, although he heard footsteps somewhere in the distance. Then, nothing, then, impact.

"Run!" Thena landed with force, cratering the ground between the Deviant and him. She already had her swords ready, slashing at the thing.

It roared at her, first with her own voice, then its usual, beastly cry.

Thena stood her ground, swinging her staff around, keeping her back to him and her arms raised. "Are you hurt?"

His stomach lurched. She had come running to his aid, just like any weak, defenseless human. "N-No."

The Deviant swiped at her but she raised her shield, swiping at it in return. These evolved ones were smart, guarded, it knew she was a threat, and it wasn't pursuing her needlessly. It was watching her.

He couldn't see her face, but he saw her body locking up.

The Deviant opened its mouth again. "Thena!"

"What in all the stars?" she asked rhetorically.

"That was how it got me down here," he admitted. The thing's jaw clicked and its teeth rattled around again.

"Thena, help!"

"Celestial demons," she cursed it as she shifted her spear into a different shape. She directed the point at it, tri-tipped and wide. It was a weapon not for slicing but for inflicting an irreparable wound. The great warriors of Greece copied this very weapon. "Try it."

The beast chose not to. It gave her another half-swipe, only for show before retreating. Its long, wiry body slithered away from them and through the crumbling cracks in the wall.

Gil let out a breath as its form disappeared into the shadows. He dragged himself up the wall behind him and to his feet, not liking the state of his knees. "We gotta get that fixed."

Thena didn't say anything.

He frowned, fidgeting with his sweaty palms. "You okay?"

"You shouldn't have been out here."

He was tempted to wince at the cold tone of her voice. She was right, he shouldn't have let that thing lure him away, especially knowing he was in no condition to fight.

"What were you thinking?" she asked him. It was worse than her yelling and shouting at him, her voice was barely above a whisper. She turned to him, her powers fading into the air like sparks. Her hair picked up in the wind. "What were you thinking, Gilgamesh?"

He was feeling properly chastised now. "I-I just..."

She waited for him to finish rather than prompt him.

He sighed. "It was your voice, Thena. You were calling for my help."

She didn't argue. She didn't chastise him further, she accepted his answer. She even moved closer, wrapping her arms around him. Her cheek was cold against his warmer one. "Don't ever scare me like this again."

"Sorry," he patted her shoulder before moving his hand to the cutout of her armour that allowed him the relief of her soft waist.

She huffed at him, but her hold on him didn't loosen. "I'll have more to say about this later."

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled despite her anger. He let out another breath, relaxing his body more. His limbs felt heavy as Thena began leading him back to the temple.

She gave him a nudge, "I should tell Sersi about this--she'll be livid."

He laughed, giving her a nudge in return.

She stumbled.

They both stared. He blinked, looking at the hand he used to nudge her arm. "Uh, s-sorry."

Thena just stared, at the hand and then at him. She had been expecting a gentle nudge--a human one. He had given her a push that an Eternal would give.

He blinked, surprised by first her kiss and then by her laughter. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her feet. It was easy, but it wasn't that easy--whatever it was had been a freak accident. But it was a promising sign.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[honksapling]

If Ishan "can bat through 1-5 no.s, wicketkeeper, stabilizer + explosive batsman, great fielder" "pocket dynamo" Kishan has to PROVE his worth ONE MORE TIME IMMA START THROWING HANDS WITH SELECTORS AT BCCI WHEN TF ARE YOU GONNA GIVE MY BOY THE OPPURTUNITIES HE DESERVES...HOW LONG CAN ONE SET THEMSELF ASIDE TO PUSH UP OTHERS

[skyeisproductive]

In the Saw universe, it's not All Cops Are Bastards. It's All Cops Are Fucking Stupid

[starlooove]

I rlly liked red hood the hill bc besides the gift it completely ignored everything else with the batfam which to meeee I’m taking it as the hill has been overlooked by the bats forever (see Orpheus rising) so yeah nobody there gives a fuck about those people and jason knows better than to bring that shit over there

[cementcornfield]

mike hilton officially out today :(

[attractthecrows]

brooo i hate having Dreams That Piss You Off i woke up all pissed off at NOTHIIINNNNNGGGGG

[tenok]

The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.

And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.

1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)

2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)

3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.

So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)

Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Shitty father blocking WIFI is no match for Tor browser, plus VPN, plus onion search, plus IP resetting.

[mechahero]

//Thinking about the escapism AU again.

[acourtofquestions]

Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.