#SPn fanfic

[lila-lou]

✨Taking her in - Pt. 16✨

Summary: After Dean Winchester saves your life, he brings you into the safety of the bunker. As you grow older and stronger, Dean refuses to let you join the hunts, his overprotective behavior intensifying. But beneath his fierce protectiveness lies something darker—conflicted feelings he can’t face. As your 18th birthday approaches, Dean struggles to keep control, torn between his duty to protect you and emotions he’s buried for too long.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, HUGE Age Gap, Immoral, Language, Angst, Fluff, Dean being hurt-badly

Word Count: 4064

A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 💜

As Dean drifted between wakefulness and sleep, his hand settled more naturally against your waist, his thumb slipping beneath the hem of your shirt. The touch was lazy, absentminded, as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it. His thumb traced slow, feather-light circles on your bare skin, the warmth of his hand seeping into you.

You froze for a moment, your breath catching in your throat as the sensation rippled through you. The softness of his touch was almost too much—it sent a spark of heat coursing through your body, your skin tingling where his thumb moved. You swallowed hard, your heart pounding as an undeniable warmth began pooling low in your stomach.

Dean, oblivious to the effect he was having, let out a quiet hum of contentment. His head rested against the back of the couch, his bruised face relaxed in a way that was rare for him. He had no idea what that simple, innocent touch was doing to you, how it was unraveling you completely.

You shifted slightly, trying to focus on anything else, but the movement only pressed you closer to him, making his thumb brush a little more firmly against your skin. A soft gasp escaped your lips before you could stop it, and you bit down on your lower lip, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

But Dean did notice. His eyes cracked open, hazy with exhaustion and confusion as he glanced down at you. “You okay?”, he mumbled, his voice rough and low.

You nodded quickly, your cheeks burning as you tried to play it off. “Yeah”, you whispered, your voice a little too breathy. “I’m fine”.

Dean’s thumb stilled for a moment, his gaze narrowing slightly as if he were trying to read you. Then, as if deciding not to push, he let out a soft grunt and closed his eyes again. His hand remained where it was, the gentle pressure of his thumb now a constant, teasing reminder of how close he was to unraveling you completely.

You tried to focus on anything else—the sound of the TV, the rhythm of his breathing—but it was impossible. Every pass of his thumb against your waist felt electric, stoking the fire that had already begun to burn low in your stomach.

You bit your lip, your thighs pressing together involuntarily as the warmth pooled deeper. The sensation was maddening, and the fact that Dean seemed completely unaware of what he was doing only made it worse. He remained relaxed against the couch, his breathing steady, his thumb moving idly as though it was second nature.

“Dean…”, you whispered, your voice soft but tinged with something you couldn’t quite hide.

His eyes opened once more, just a crack, his green gaze hazy with exhaustion and curiosity. “Hmm?”, he murmured, his thumb still tracing its pattern.

You hesitated, your cheeks flushing as you realized you didn’t know what you wanted to say. Did you want him to stop? Did you want him to keep going? The conflict inside you made your heart race.

Dean, always attuned to the slightest changes in you, seemed to notice the shift in your posture, the way your body tensed just slightly against his. His gaze sharpened a bit, and his thumb stilled as his hand pressed more firmly against your side. “What’s going on?”, he asked, his voice low and gruff, but laced with concern.

You shook your head quickly, trying to brush it off. “Nothing”, you mumbled, though your voice betrayed you.

Dean’s brow furrowed, and his eyes searched yours as if he was trying to piece together what was happening. Then, realization seemed to dawn on him. His thumb moved again, this time purposefully, pressing lightly into your skin as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. “Is this… doing something to you?”, he asked, his voice a low, teasing rasp.

Your breath hitched, and you couldn’t bring yourself to answer. The way his voice dipped, the knowing smirk tugging at his lips—it sent a fresh wave of heat through you. You felt exposed, your body betraying you under his touch, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Dean chuckled softly, the sound low and rough, as his hand slipped higher under your shirt, his thumb brushing just beneath your ribcage. “You’re not very good at hiding it, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice dripping with teasing warmth. “But I don’t mind”.

His eyes met yours again, and there was something unmistakably wicked in his gaze, even through the lingering exhaustion. He tilted his head, his lips brushing yours softly, testing the waters. “Tell me if I’m wrong”, he whispered against your lips, his hand still resting on your skin.

Your breath hitched as Dean’s grip tightened slightly on your waist, his calloused fingers sinking into the softness of your flesh. The sensation sent another wave of heat surging through your body, and you knew he could feel the way your muscles tensed beneath his touch. His green eyes darkened slightly, a spark of something primal flickering there, but the exhaustion in his features reminded you of his current state.

The realization hit you like a cold splash of water: Dean couldn’t push himself right now, not like this. His body was battered and barely holding together, and you knew any physical exertion could undo the fragile balance Sam had worked so hard to maintain. Still, the way he looked at you, his hand possessively gripping your waist, made it hard to focus on anything but the growing need between you.

You shifted slightly, trying to ease the ache building between your legs, but the movement only pressed you closer against him. A quiet, involuntary whimper escaped your lips, and Dean’s smirk grew, though there was a flicker of frustration in his eyes. He knew just as well as you that his current state wasn’t going to allow him to act on what was clearly simmering between you.

“Sweetheart”, Dean murmured, his voice low and teasing, though there was a rough edge to it now. “You keep making those noises, and I’m not sure I can be a gentleman”.

You bit your lip, your cheeks flushing deeply as you tried to shift away slightly, only for his grip to tighten again, keeping you close. His good arm slid more firmly around you, pulling you against his side. The warmth of his body, the faint scent of his cologne, and the roughness of his voice combined to make your mind spin.

“Dean”, you whispered, your voice trembling slightly. “You can’t… you’re not—”.

“I know”, he interrupted, his tone softer now, though there was a trace of irritation at his own limitations. He let out a frustrated sigh, his forehead resting briefly against yours. “Believe me, I know. But damn it, you make it hard”.

His words sent another rush of heat through you, and you squirmed slightly, unable to stop the reaction. Dean groaned softly, his hand moving to squeeze your hip, his eyes squeezing shut as if he was trying to regain control. “You’re killing me here, you know that?”.

You bit your lip harder, trying to keep your composure, but the heat between your legs was unbearable, and every subtle movement only made it worse. The tension in the air was suffocating, your body betraying you as you shifted slightly against Dean, your thighs brushing against his. The effect was immediate—Dean’s good arm tightened around you, as he let out a deep, frustrated groan.

“Sweetheart”, Dean muttered, his voice low and ragged. His jaw clenched as he tilted his head back, closing his eyes like he was trying to muster some kind of restraint. But the way you kept moving, squirming against him, was breaking what little resolve he had left.

You glanced up at him, your cheeks burning as you tried to steady your breathing. “Dean, I—”, you started, but the words caught in your throat when his eyes snapped open, piercing and full of that same primal spark. His ego was clearly starting to outweigh his caution, his need to prove something to himself—or maybe to you—winning out over logic.

Dean’s good hand shifted away from your back, his rough palm trailing slowly to your stomach. The movement was deliberate, his fingers brushing the edge of your waistband as if testing your resolve. Your breath hitched, and before you could utter a word, his hand slipped beneath the fabric of your yoga pants, finding its way into your panties.

The moment his fingers made contact, his reaction was immediate. Dean’s eyes fluttered shut, and a deep, guttural groan escaped his lips, the sound rumbling through his chest. His touch was warm, rough, and exploratory, as though he couldn’t quite believe the effect he had on you. “Shit, sweetheart”, he muttered, his voice a low rasp. “You’re soaked”.

Your face flushed hot, the heat of embarrassment mingling with the burning desire coursing through your body. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, your gaze dropping to the fabric of his shirt as you bit your lip, trying to steady your ragged breathing. The intensity of his touch and the knowledge of how much you wanted this—even in his condition—was overwhelming.

“Dean”, you whispered, your voice trembling as you struggled to find the words. “You shouldn’t…”.

“Shh”, he interrupted, his tone still low but insistent. His thumb grazed against your sensitive flesh, drawing a soft gasp from your lips. His good hand was clumsy but determined, exploring every reaction you gave him as if it were the only thing grounding him in that moment.

His hand moved with slow, deliberate care, his calloused fingers exploring the warmth and wetness he’d discovered. The touch was unhurried, but it was enough to make your entire body shiver in anticipation. His middle finger brushed over your most sensitive spot, and your breath hitched sharply, a soft whine escaping your lips before you could stop it.

Dean’s lips curled into a faint smirk, his forehead pressing gently against yours as he continued. “That’s it”, he murmured, his voice low and rough, filled with a quiet intensity that sent another wave of heat rushing through you.

His thumb stayed steady, circling gently over your sensitive nub, while his middle finger lingered at your entrance, teasing, testing. He watched your face closely, his green eyes dark and intense, searching for any sign of hesitation.

“You’re so perfect”, he murmured, his voice rough but filled with a reverence that made your heart race. Then, slowly, carefully, he let his middle finger slip inside you, the sensation sending a jolt of pleasure through your entire body. Your walls clenched instinctively around him, the tightness making him groan softly.

“So tight”, he rasped, his breath warm against your cheek.

He moved his finger slowly, the deliberate pace drawing out the sensation, making your body hum with anticipation. Every gentle thrust was precise, as though he was taking his time to memorize every reaction you gave him.

Your fingers dug into his underarm, needing something to hold onto as the heat inside you built with every stroke of his finger.

“Look at me”, Dean whispered, his voice low but commanding. When you opened your eyes to meet his, the intensity in his gaze took your breath away. “I want to see you”, he said softly. “Every second of this”.

His words, coupled with the deep, deliberate thrust of his finger, sent another wave of pleasure crashing through you. Your body arched into him, your breaths coming in quick, uneven bursts as you clung to him. Dean’s smirk softened into something tender, his forehead pressing against yours as he whispered, “I’ve got you, sweetheart. Let go for me”.

You wrapped your hands around Dean’s forearm, gripping tightly as the intensity of his touch began to overwhelm you. His fingers moved with a deliberate rhythm, his middle finger sliding deeper inside you, while his thumb worked slow, teasing circles against your most sensitive spot. The dual sensations made your body tremble, a soft moan slipping from your lips as you felt the heat building inside you.

Dean’s forehead stayed pressed against yours, his warm breath mingling with yours in the small space between you. His eyes never left yours, the green of them darkened with desire and affection. “That’s it”, he murmured, his voice low and encouraging. “You’re so beautiful like this”.

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn’t look away from him. The connection between you felt electric, intimate in a way that made your heart ache. You let out another soft moan, your body beginning to clench around his fingers as the pressure inside you built higher and higher. Your breaths came in short, uneven bursts, each one a reflection of the overwhelming sensations rippling through you.

“Dean”, you whispered, his name falling from your lips like a plea. Your voice was trembling, but your gaze stayed locked on his, the trust and need you felt for him written in your expression.

“I’ve got you”, Dean murmured, his thumb pressing just a little harder as he adjusted the rhythm of his fingers inside you. His good arm flexed beneath your grip, his strength and control grounding you even as your body threatened to spiral out of control. “Just let go, Baby”.

Your body responded to his voice, his touch, and the unwavering way he held you in his gaze. The heat coiled tighter and tighter, until it snapped, a wave of pleasure crashing over you. You cried out softly, your body arching into his hand as the tension broke, leaving you trembling in his arms.

Dean didn’t stop, his movements slowing to help you ride out the aftershocks. His fingers worked gently, soothing you as your body relaxed against him. His forehead stayed pressed to yours, his lips brushing against your cheek in a soft, lingering kiss.

“That’s my girl”, he whispered, his voice filled with pride and affection as he pulled his hand away slowly, careful not to overwhelm you. He held you close, his good arm wrapping around you as you caught your breath, your body still trembling slightly from the intensity of the moment.

You bit your lip, a deep blush spreading across your cheeks as Dean pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, then down to the bridge of your nose. His lips lingered there for a moment before he pulled back slightly, his green eyes locking onto yours with that mischievous glint you knew so well.

You tilted your head just enough to meet him halfway, ensuring he didn’t have to strain himself. He took the invitation without hesitation, his lips brushing gently against yours, warm and teasing. The kiss was slow but filled with unspoken affection, his breath mingling with yours as he lingered close.

When he pulled back just a fraction, his voice dropped to a husky whisper against your lips, tinged with that signature Dean Winchester smugness. “Y’know”, he murmured, his tone playful despite his bruised and battered state, “even with a busted arm and a ripped-open chest, I can still make you come like that”.

You gasped softly, your blush deepening as his words sent a fresh wave of heat rushing through you. “Dean, ,you scolded lightly, your voice trembling with both embarrassment and amusement. You couldn’t stop the small, shy smile that tugged at your lips, though, and he noticed.

“What?”, he teased, the corner of his mouth quirking into a smirk. “Just stating facts, sweetheart”.

You swatted gently at his good shoulder, earning a low chuckle from him as he pulled you closer against his side. His good arm holding you in place as if he couldn’t stand to let you go. His lips brushed against the shell of your ear, his voice dropping to that low, teasing murmur that made your stomach flutter.

“I never would’ve pegged you for being this insatiable”.

You froze for a second, your blush intensifying as the meaning of his words sank in.

He tilted his head, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling back just enough to catch your eyes. “Cute, innocent virgins just a few days ago”, he continued, his tone teasing but laced with affection. “And now? Squirming like a little fish the second I lay a hand on you”.

Your cheeks burned, and you buried your face in his chest, groaning softly. “Oh my God, Dean”, you muttered, your voice muffled against his shirt. “Stop”.

But Dean was relentless. His fingers lightly trailed over your side, just enough to make you shiver. “Nah, can’t stop now”, he said with a grin. “This is too good. I mean, who would’ve thought? You, all sweet and shy, turning into—”.

You pressed your face into Dean’s healthy side, your cheeks blazing with heat as his teasing words echoed in your ears. Despite your embarrassment, you were careful not to put too much weight against him, mindful of his injuries. The last thing you wanted was to make things worse for him—though he didn’t seem too concerned, given the relentless grin on his face.

Dean’s fingers continued their lazy tracing along your side, his thumb brushing in soft circles. His lips curved into a smirk as he tilted his head down toward you, clearly reveling in how flustered you were. “I mean, I’m just saying”, he murmured, his voice dripping with mock seriousness. “With you turning into this… uh… little ball of energy, I’m starting to worry my old ass can’t keep up”.

You groaned, your blush somehow deepening as you peeked up at him. “Dean, stop, please”, you said, though your voice lacked any real conviction. The teasing was frustrating, sure, but the warmth in his tone and the light in his eyes made it impossible to be annoyed with him.

Dean’s grin only widened at your reaction, and he chuckled softly, the sound low and warm. “What?”, he teased, his good arm pulling you a little closer. “You’re the one proving me right. I barely touched you earlier, and you—”.

You pressed your hand gently against his chest, cutting him off. “Okay, okay, I get it”, you said quickly, unable to hide the shy smile tugging at your lips.

Later that night, the bunker was quiet, its halls dimly lit as you carefully slipped out of Dean’s room. The need to use the bathroom had finally driven you from the warmth of his embrace, though you moved cautiously, not wanting to wake him. His injuries meant he needed all the rest he could get, and you were determined not to disturb him.

As you padded barefoot down the hallway, rubbing your arms against the slight chill, you rounded a corner and nearly collided with someone. You let out a soft gasp, freezing when you saw Sam standing there, half-asleep but alert enough to notice you.

“Hey”, he murmured, his voice low and rough from sleep. His eyes, though half-lidded, were sharp enough to notice your flushed cheeks and slightly disheveled appearance.

You froze, caught off guard. “Sam”, you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “You scared me”.

Sam’s lips quirked in a faint smile, though his gaze remained steady on you. “Sorry”, he replied, his voice carrying a trace of amusement. “Didn’t mean to. Just grabbing some water”.

You nodded quickly, trying to move past him without making things awkward. “Yeah, I just… needed the bathroom”, you mumbled, gesturing vaguely behind you.

Sam shifted slightly, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. His stance wasn’t intimidating, but his expression was thoughtful, as though he were piecing something together. “You okay?”, he asked after a moment, his tone soft but probing.

Your breath hitched slightly, and you forced a smile, hoping it would be enough to throw him off. “Of course”, you said, trying to sound casual. “Just tired. It’s been a lot lately, you know?”.

Sam nodded slowly, but the look in his eyes told you he wasn’t entirely convinced. “Yeah, it has”, he agreed. He hesitated, his gaze flicking briefly toward the direction you’d come from. “Dean’s been doing okay?”.

Your stomach twisted slightly at the question, though you couldn’t quite tell if it was loaded or not. “He’s healing”, you said, your tone measured. “You know how he is—stubborn”.

Sam chuckled softly, though his expression didn’t lose its edge of curiosity. “Yeah, that sounds like him”. He paused, studying you for a moment longer before he added, “You’ve been spending a lot of time with him”.

The statement hung in the air, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Was he fishing for information, or had he already figured it out completely? You met his gaze, your blush deepening. “He needed help”, you said, your voice soft. “He’s… not great at taking care of himself”.

Sam smiled faintly, though there was a knowing look in his eyes that made your stomach flip. “That’s true”, he said quietly. “But you seem to be doing more than just helping”.

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. The vulnerability in Sam’s voice surprised you—it wasn’t accusatory, just… observant. He wasn’t trying to corner you; he was trying to understand.

“I—”, you started, but Sam shook his head gently, cutting you off.

Sam held up a hand, his expression softening further. “Hey, it’s okay”, he said quietly, his voice gentle but sure. “I already know”.

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, your cheeks burning as you struggled to form a response. “You… know?”, you asked hesitantly, your voice barely above a whisper. The tension in your chest grew, but the kindness in Sam’s gaze stopped you from panicking entirely.

He nodded slowly, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah”, he admitted, leaning back against the wall again. “I figured it out a while ago. Probably around the time I made that comment at breakfast, about the workout you two had after… talking”. His smile widened slightly, and he let out a small chuckle. “Dean’s not exactly subtle, and neither are you… and.. I talked to Dean, so…”.

You winced, remembering how flustered you’d been that morning, and how Sam had clearly enjoyed teasing the two of you. “I thought you might’ve suspected”, you said, biting your lip. “But you… really don’t mind?”.

Sam shook his head, his expression serious now. “No, I don’t mind. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. That you’re happy. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Dean lately, and I see the way he looks at you—how he’s been acting. He cares about you a lot, you know”.

Your chest tightened at his words, a mix of relief and emotion washing over you. “I care about him, too”, you admitted softly. “But I wasn’t sure if you’d… approve, or if it’d make things weird”.

Sam smiled again, the warmth in his expression reassuring. “It doesn’t make things weird. Dean deserves to have someone like you in his corner, someone who really gets him. And you… well, I think you’re good for him”.

You blinked, his words hitting you with more impact than you expected. “Thank you, Sam”, you said, your voice thick with gratitude. “That… means a lot”.

He nodded, his smile widening just slightly. “Good. Now go take care of yourself—and Dean. You both need it”. He pushed off the wall and gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder before continuing down the hallway toward the kitchen.

You stood there for a moment, letting out a shaky breath as you processed the conversation. Sam’s understanding, his quiet acceptance, made you feel lighter than you had in days.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 

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[supernotnatural2005]

In the Eyes of a Hunter

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Summary: Dean finally had a few days spare from hunting with his dad to come see you at college. Though you weren’t exclusive, seeing you with another man opens up a can of feelings Dean had so desperately been trying to keep closed, and a confession that could change everything.

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: Angst, self doubt, Dean really needs to appreciate himself more 😩

AN: I know the gif is of Alec (Dark Angel) but, i couldn’t help but see a young Dean and this idea came to me 😅 It's a little more on the angsty side, but I promise the fluff is there. Also Happy New year! I know I've been away, not posting for a little while, but I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things. I hope you guys enjoy this one, let me know what you think?

Masterlist

2003

The crappy daytime shows weren’t cutting it, even in their static form from the ancient TV the motel provided. 

You were supposed to have been here two hours ago. That was the plan. Your class finished at 2, and then you were free for the day. Free to see him. 

After all, he had come all this way for you. What little time he could get away from hunting, he gave to you. He actively ignored the reason as to why he did, not wanting to admit the truth of it. Knowing it would cause more harm than it was worth. 

But as he sat here, aimlessly staring at the fuzzy figures on the screen, time slowly ticking away, his mind restless and full of scenarios that only seemed to bother him the more they spiralled, he realised maybe the harm had already been done. 

Deciding he’d waited long enough, he dropped the remote in his lap with a huff and took another look at the digital clock beside him. 

4:15 pm. 

He stood up from the bed and gathered his leather jacket and keys to the Impala his dad had officially given to him last month and headed out. Maybe you’d just gotten held up in class. He was no ‘Mr. College,’ but he understood there was a lot on your plate. At least from the last few times he’d come to see you. The stress had almost brought you to tears more than a few times, so he couldn’t understand Sammy’s desire to go. But hey ho, what did he know? He killed monsters for a living.

The rumble of the engine purred beneath him as he started the ignition. The sound echoed in the almost empty lot, bringing a proud smirk to his lips. He still couldn’t believe she was finally his. 

This car had been one of the only other constants in Dean’s life, getting them from A to B, sometimes even calling her home for the night. He knew as soon as his dad handed him the keys and handed him the responsibility of looking after her, he’d do everything in his power to do just that. 

As he drove toward your campus, the signs of autumn were heavily present with the flutters of orange and yellow leaves falling from the trees; his mind drifted to thoughts of you again. 

He had met you a year ago, having rolled through town to deal with a simple salt and burn case. He was riding solo, his dad dealing with more dire matters, like a fresh trail on Yellow Eyes. Sam had left a few months prior to go make it as a hotshot lawyer in California, leaving Dean alone in the aftermath. 

The fight between Sam and John had been ugly. Dean resorted to the middleman, as usual. He was proud of Sammy, more so that he was actually able to stand up to John, but he couldn’t help but feel the sting of abandonment. What did he have other than this job and his loyalty to finding the thing that took his mother?

After he wrapped up the case, he’d treated himself to a celebratory drink at one of the local bars, which happened to be a student hot spot, and that’s where he’d met you. 

He had noticed you almost immediately. You were breathtaking, and he’d found himself glancing in your direction more often than not, watching as you’d laughed and drank with your friends. You were so carefree, beautiful, and way out of his league for many reasons. Those reasons only multiplying once he’d gotten to know you, and they still rang true to this day.

You’d caught him staring; eventually, he’d seen your eyes flicker in his direction a few times. Despite his own self-deprecations, Dean knew he was good-looking, knew the effect he had on women, and he was surprisingly good at playing the confident ‘bad boy.’. 

He’d never really given much thought to anything other than a one-time thing. For one, it was easier that way. He never stayed in one place for longer than a couple of days, and secondly, his job wasn’t your normal 9 to 5, and having attachments was dangerous. 

However, as soon as you’d made your way over to him, after what had looked like some encouragement from your friends, and introduced yourself with that faux drunk confidence, he was hooked. 

At the time, you had just entered your senior year, and you had told him of your plans to take a gap year once you’d graduated. Like Dean, you felt a little lost in life, though for completely different reasons. Your major was something your father had insisted on, despite it not being what you had wanted to do. Apparently his plan was to have you work at his company, maybe even take over for him one day, but you hated all that corporate bullshit. 

So Dean already could relate. A demanding father whose opinion was the one and only. Maybe he did understand why Sam had left more than he originally thought. Like right now, he had this mission, his dad’s mission, yet once that was over, what next? Did he just continue what he was doing? Living off of stolen credit cards, diner food, and cheap motel rooms?

The more he got to know you, your desires and dreams to travel the world, live, and experience life, he found himself picturing that, wanting that too. You had a way of making everything seem brighter and more hopeful, making him feel like there was more to life than just a ‘job.’. 

He knows now why he kept coming back to you, why he still keeps coming back. Because for once in his life he felt seen, felt wanted, understood. And maybe it was time for him to tell you that. To tell you the truth. Consequences be damned. 

However, it was all wishful thinking, and Dean’s search for you was cut short when he spotted you walking out of the student library, your beautiful smile and sounds of laughter filtering through his open window, and beside you, another man. 

He felt his chest constrict, his stomach churn uncomfortably at the sight. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tight. He rolled to a stop and watched as you continued to laugh at whatever this douchebag was saying to you. 

He knew he had no right to be jealous. You weren’t exclusive. He was the one who’d made that clear, and surprisingly you had been okay with it. You didn’t know what he really did for a living, just that he had to travel a lot for ‘the family business.’. 

Though, with his recent self-revelation that his feelings for you ran much deeper than something casual, this felt like a punch to the gut. Maybe this was a sign that this whole thing was a bad idea. Why getting close to someone was not on the cards for him. Of course you would’ve met someone else. How could you not? You were beautiful, smart, funny, and sweet. Why would you wait around for some drifter like him? 

With his insecurities rearing their ugly head, threatening to swallow him whole, he failed to notice the two pairs of eyes on him. It wasn’t until there was a light rap at the window that he snapped out of his thoughts. He jumped a little and looked to where you were leaning down beside the partially opened glass, your expression surprised, but you were smiling nonetheless. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Came your innocent question, but it just seemed to rub him the wrong way, that and he noticed that guy lingering a few feet behind you, looking around awkwardly. 

“It was getting late; I thought I’d come see if you were okay, but I can see you’re busy.” He spoke the last words with a little more venom as he nodded to the lingerer. And he hated the slight dip in your brow and the downturn of your lips. 

“I was actually on my way to see you now.” You began, your voice light but weary. “I’m sorry I got held up. Alex just needed some help, and time got away from me.” Your explanation did nothing to calm his nerves. In fact, it made him feel worse. Like he didn’t matter. Again he had no right, but he was already spiralling. 

“You know what? It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He shrugged you off. “I’m going to have to cut this trip short anyway. Dad called; gotta meet him a few states over.” The lie came easily, but the knife in his heart twisted with each word. You frowned at him, he saw it in his peripheral, but he refused to meet your eyes. He couldn’t. 

“Alex, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He heard you say before you walked around the car and abruptly slipped into the passenger side. 

“What are you doing?” His question came out more snappish than he intended. You folded your arms and sat back in your seat, looking much like a stubborn child.

“We’re going to talk.” You shrugged as if that were obvious. “We can either do that here or back at the motel; your choice.” You levelled him with an unwavering stare, one that crushed his resolve and had him grumpily starting the engine and driving back to the motel. 

You walked past Dean as he opened the door for you, your eyes widening a fraction at the state of the room. It had certainly seen better days; the wallpaper was faded and peeling from the walls, and the carpet had a questionable amount of stains on it. From what? You didn’t hope to find out. He usually stayed in much nicer rooms, but seeing as it was close to the holidays, this was probably all he was going to get. 

You plopped down on the squeaky mattress and looked at him. He was avoiding your eyes, shifting awkwardly in his spot. You’d never seen him this worked up. You liked to think you knew Dean rather well, at least him as a person. He still kept some things to himself, like the details of the job he did with his dad. Sometimes he came to you looking so haunted, but those times weren’t spent with much talking. 

You were beyond curious; Dean was a mystery you were still trying to unravel. However, you knew your standpoint: that you weren’t his girlfriend and never would be. He’d made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want to make a commitment, yet he kept coming back for you. You didn’t push him as to why he did, in fear he would stop altogether. 

If you were honest with yourself, you had fallen in love with him months ago. Yes, your situation was complicated, and he never stuck around longer than a couple of days. But Dean was special; he wasn’t like the guys you knew at college or in your life in general. He was wise beyond his years, thoughtful, funny, and smart, despite how much he called his younger brother the “brains of the family.” And he was also one of the most handsome men you’d ever laid eyes on. 

“What was that back there?” You decide to just rip the Band-Aid off. You had a pretty good idea, but you wanted to hear it from him. He finally looked to you then, his posture straightening, his arms folding across his chest as if in a defensive stance.

“I told you, I was just checking to see if you were okay.” He spoke as if he didn’t really care for the conversation, but his jaw was ticking, and his brow remained furrowed. “I have to leave, so can we make this quick?” 

It was your turn to frown then. Admittedly, his words stung; you hadn’t even had the chance to see him yet, and now he wanted to leave all of a sudden. 

“Is this because of Alex?” 

“What? No!” His response was quick and higher in pitch, and it only confirmed your assumptions. He was jealous. 

“You know he’s only a friend, right?” You offer, biting back your smile. 

“And? Why would I care who you’re friends with?” He grumbled and looked down at one of the stains on the carpet beneath his boot, fixating on it as if it were the most interesting thing he’d ever seen. 

“It just seems like you do it all.” You shrugged nonchalantly, though your voice tinged with something akin to a teasing tone. His eyes flickered back up to yours, darker than you were expecting. 

“You think I care who you hang around with? Who do you date? I don’t own you. If you want to meet guys and have boyfriends, then go ahead; I’m not stopping you.” His voice rose an octave with each word, his body trembling slightly as he unleashed kept feelings out into the open. 

“It’s not like everyone I’ve ever cared about or loved sticks around. I mean, why would they? I’m a freak, a loser.” He reveals, his eyes widening slightly at his unmeant confession. You sit in stunned silence, not expecting that outburst from him. 

“So if we’re done here, I have to leave.” He quickly adds, embarrassed and angry at himself for saying those things. Things he’d wanted to keep buried and never allow to see the light of day. He hastily begins collecting his things; there's not much, but there’s enough to give you time to snap out of your stupor. 

“Hey.” You grab onto his arm with enough force to stop him from picking up his duffle. He obliges you, but you know you have to select what you say next carefully; otherwise, you’re uncertain as to if you’d ever see him again.

“I don’t know where all that came from, but I don’t think you’re a freak or a loser.” You frown sympathetically at him. It hurt you to hear him speak so lowly of himself.

“Dean, I think the world of you.” You admit it, and his eyes flicker to yours, uncertainty shining in those pools of green. “I know our situation isn’t ideal or even normal, but in this last year of knowing you, I think you’re amazing.” 

“You do?” The question slips out involuntarily, but your responding smile is warm and calms his nerves a little. 

“Dean, you’re the best person I know, the only person I want to see. I haven’t said anything because I know you didn’t want a commitment, but dammit, I love you. I am in love with you.”

Your last word is cut off by the sudden press of his lips. Your surprise squeak quickly turns into a grateful sigh. And you wrap your arms around his shoulders and neck as he hugs you closer to him. 

He breaks away after a few minutes, your breaths mingling in the small gap between where his forehead rests against yours. 

“I’m sorry.” It’s not what you were expecting him to say, but you allow him the time to speak. “I overreacted, and I had no right to.” 

You cup his smooth cheek, which he leans into, and offer him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay.” You swipe a thumb across his cheekbone, and he takes comfort in your touch. 

“I just. I have something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept from you, been keeping from you.” He sighs, his face tormented and sad as he pulls away. It’s worrying you, but you try to internalise it for his sake. He takes your hand and guides you to the bed until you’re both sitting side by side. 

“Dean, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?” You tell him honestly. He seems to be battling in his own mind, his internal struggle present in his rigid form and fidgeting hands. 

He huffs out a humourless laugh and rubs a hand down his face before looking at you. Really looking, and you sit quietly, but strong, showing him you’re there and are willing to listen. 

“There’s a reason I never told you what I did for a living.” He begins. “For one thing, I didn’t even think we’d even get this far, and there was no point to put that on you.” He shakes his head, his heartbeat in his ears, his stomach in knots. 

“And secondly, it’s dangerous. My job is dangerous, and I’d never want anything to happen to you.” He looks at you pleadingly, and you nod, despite the swarm of questions flooding your mind. 

Meanwhile, Dean blows out a nervous breath; he can’t believe he’s going to tell you the truth. Something he’d been the most adamant about not doing. Though he is in too deep, he knows that now, and you had a right to know, a right to run for the hills about what he was going to confess. He’d even agree with you when you called him crazy and walk out that door and never bother you again if that’s what you wanted. Selfishly, he hopes that isn’t the case, but you had a right to choose. 

“I’m a hunter.” He begins, and it hangs heavy in the air for two different reasons. For you, you’re a little confused, not understanding the dire build-up and Dean because he was unveiling his and his family’s biggest kept secret. 

“To clarify, I don’t hunt deer, elk, or critters in the woods.” He explains, but the alarming look on your face at the only other possibility to you has him panicking. “Not humans either.” He adds with a nervous chuckle, and you visibly relax. 

“I hunt monsters.” He reveals, and you stare at him dumbly for a moment. 

“Monsters?” You repeat, and Dean nods in confirmation. “As in the bogeyman?” 

“Sometimes, yeah.” Dean shrugs as if that was a casual thing to admit. You blink at him, as if you’re trying to process his words, but they don’t quite fit together in your mind. Monsters?

Your heart is pounding now, your mind racing, but all that comes out of your mouth is a shaky laugh, laced with disbelief. “Monsters?” You repeat, your voice thin and tight, like you’re testing the word on your tongue to see if it makes sense.

Dean’s face falls, and for the first time you see him as vulnerable as he’s ever been. There’s something desperate in his eyes, a plea for understanding that only seems to make the pit in your stomach widen.

“Yeah,” he says softly, nodding, but his voice cracks with the weight of the truth he’s just unleashed. “I hunt things that go bump in the night. Demons, ghosts, things like that. Creatures that don’t belong in this world.”

The room feels suddenly smaller. The air thicker. You look at him, your head spinning, and you can feel your pulse quicken as panic starts to creep in. A part of you wants to laugh it off, because this is crazy. There’s no way this could be true, right? Dean isn’t telling you the truth. It has to be some messed-up way for him to push you away.

A cold, sinking feeling settles deep in your chest. “Are you... are you serious?” Your voice comes out shaky, a whisper of disbelief hanging in the air. “Is this some kind of joke? You’re telling me... You hunt monsters?”

His expression tightens, lips pressed into a thin line, as if your question just added a fresh layer of weight to what he’s already carrying. “I’m not joking. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid. Since one of those bastards took my  mom." The room grows silent, both of you respectively reeling from his admission. 

You had always figured Dean’s mom wasn’t in the picture for the pure fact he’d only ever spoken of his dad or younger brother. For what reason you never knew; however, the truth of it was more devastating than you could comprehend. 

When he looks at you again, there’s a pain in his expression that you don’t think you’ve ever seen before, and it’s then you decide this isn’t some elaborate story to make a break-up easier on him or to spook you just for the fun of it. This was very real, and this man had been living it. 

“This life… it’s dangerous. The people I meet, the things I fight, they’ll come after anyone I care about. I never wanted to put you in that position.” Dean says, his voice breaking. “I wanted to keep you safe; you deserve so much more than this, than me. You deserve the truth.”

You stand there, trying to breathe, trying to make sense of the words he’s spoken, but it’s like your entire world has been turned upside down. Dean is telling you about this huge part of his life that he’d kept from you, and you can’t tell if you should be running for the door or if you should stay and try to understand him, to understand this.

“But why? Why did you even let me in?” You ask, your voice catching on the last word. The question haunts you, and you need to understand the answer, even though a part of you is scared of hearing it.

Dean’s eyes soften, and for a moment, you see the man behind the mask, the man who is so full of fear, so full of love, and so completely torn apart. “Because I love you,” he says simply, his voice soft but resolute. “I love you, and I never wanted to hurt you. But I don’t know how to make you understand what I do. How dangerous it is. How it’s too late for me to just stop, even if I wanted to. It’s all I’ve known.”

You’re frozen in place, the weight of his words hitting you harder than anything else. He loves you. It’s the last thing you expected to hear, the last thing you thought you’d ever get from Dean, especially now. But somehow, despite the chaos of it all, you feel your heart calm, just a little. Because the truth is, you really do love him. Despite everything.

You close your eyes for a moment, your mind racing with the enormity of what he’s just confessed. You want to scream, you want to run away and pretend none of this ever happened, but you can’t. You’re not that person. You can’t walk away from him, not now, not after everything you’ve felt for him.

You take a deep breath, forcing the words out, even as they feel foreign and strange in your mouth. “I... I don’t understand this. I don’t get it. But I do get you, Dean. I know who you are, even if I don’t know everything about your life.” You pause, letting the silence hang between you, both of you drowning in the weight of the moment.

And then, almost in defiance of the terror bubbling up inside you, you take a step forward. “I’m scared, Dean. I don’t know what this means for us. But I don’t want to lose you.”

Dean’s eyes flicker, relief and gratitude flooding his face. Slowly, carefully, he reaches out and takes your hand in his. “You won’t lose me,” he promises, his voice barely above a whisper, but the conviction in it is enough to make your heart steady, even if just for a second.

You reach up and press your lips to his, the simple action bringing you the sense of comfort and relief you both needed after such a heavy moment. Dean responds in kind, his hands firm and strong as he holds you close, his kiss soft yet purposeful, charged with an unspoken understanding of what kind of life you were agreeing to embark on. 

There’s so much left unsaid, so much you’re both struggling to understand. But for now, in this small, broken room filled with the weight of the truth, you both know one thing: neither of you is ready to let go just yet.

As you both part, Dean exhales a long, tired breath. His grip on your hips tightens slightly, and in that simple gesture, you can feel the conflict in him, the rawness of everything he's kept buried for so long. And yet, as much as he's terrified of the future, of what this could mean for both of you, there's something almost peaceful in his presence now, as if admitting the truth has, for just a moment, allowed him to let go of the weight he’s been carrying.

“I don’t want to drag you into my mess,” he says quietly, his voice rough. “I don’t know what’s going to happen next. But I want you to know, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Whatever it costs.”

You look at him, really look at him, seeing all the layers that lie underneath the bravado, the smirks, and the jokes. The broken man who’s been carrying this burden alone for too long. Your heart aches for him, for everything he's had to endure. And as much as the idea of what he does terrifies you, as much as the danger and uncertainty swirl around the edges of your thoughts, there’s still a part of you that feels steady.

You take a deep breath, your thumb gently rubbing the back of his hand. “I’m scared too, Dean. But I won’t walk away from you. Not because of this. But you’re right, we need to figure out what this means. All of it.”

His gaze softens, the hardness in his face fading just a little. “You don’t have to be a part of this. You don’t have to be involved.”

You shake your head, smiling gently. “I don’t know what the future holds, Dean. But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that I don’t want to face it without you. Not if you’ll let me.”

The silence stretches between you, but it’s not suffocating anymore. It’s not filled with uncertainty or confusion. It’s a quiet understanding, the kind you only get after sharing something raw and unfiltered. He studies you for a long time, his expression softening, before he finally nods. There’s something fragile in that nod, something unspoken that passes between you.

“I didn’t think you’d say that,” he admits, his voice almost a whisper, like he’s afraid saying it out loud might shatter something delicate. “But I’m glad you did.”

You cup his face softly in both of your hands, a simple gesture that means everything right now. “We’ll figure it out,” you say softly. “Together.”

Dean lets out a breath, like he’s been holding it for a lifetime, and for a moment, the tension in his shoulders loosens. The truth may have ripped through the air, but it’s not the end. It’s only the beginning.

AN: Hi all, I'm baaaack lol. This purely came out of the gif above and took on a mind of it's own 😅 what originally started as a jealousy fic turned into a; show some young Dean love fic 😂 I guess this can be perceived as a more positive outcome of him confessing his true life to someone he loves. I hope you guys enjoy ☺️

[aylacavebear]

Watermelon Crawl

You knew Dean didn’t like country music. The man had a love affair with the same five cassettes that he played on repeat any time he was in his Baby. If he wasn’t listening to one of those, he was hunting for a classic rock station on the radio. You knew the rules, Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. You knew the rules, but that didn’t stop you from attempting to listen to other stuff. Pushing Dean’s boundaries wasn’t the smartest idea, and he always gave you that glare whenever you tried. There were rare occasions when Sam would drive and let you fiddle with the radio, but it was only the two of you, so to you, it didn’t count.

Dean x OCF Reader/You

Word Count: 5777

Warnings: Angst, Longing, Fluff, Reader Insecurities, Dean being Dean.

----------------------------------------- A few times, you had tried to talk to Dean about other music, but he would just hold his hand up to stop you, not even looking at you. It was his way of ending the conversation without it ever getting started. You even tried playing music in your room, extra loud so he could hear it. His response, he’d go into his room, put his headphones in, and turn on his music. Half the time, he left the door open, just so he could smirk at you that he couldn’t hear your music over his, making sure to mouth the words to you. The other half of the time, he’d just smirk when he did that.

It was infuriating and had been going on for nearly six months now, and you were somewhat dumbfounded about how to get him to listen to at least one song. His argument was that country music was depressing and slow. The whole ‘tear in my beer’ sort of bias about it. Sam found your insistence and Dean’s instant shut-down somewhat amusing the longer it went on.

Now, the three of you were sitting in a bar after a case. It’d been successful, and this time, the three of you hadn’t had the crap beat out of you. So, it was time to celebrate. However, the moment the three of you had entered, you smiled but Dean was instantly in a sour mood.

“Hope the whiskey isn’t as crappy as the music,” Dean grumbled as he slid onto one of the barstools. 

You just frowned. Why does he have to be so damned stubborn? And, as you slid onto your barstool next to him, your mind began working overtime. You needed to figure out a song that would really get his attention, help him see that country wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. The downside, half the time, you couldn’t remember the name of the song, and the other half of the time, you couldn’t remember the artist. And inbetween that, sometimes all you could remember were certain lyrics to the song.

So, there you were, sitting at the bar and staring at the counter while all sorts of words sped through your mind. You were so lost in thought while trying to place a song with just the three words from the chorus that you didn’t notice the beer that had been set down in front of you, or how both brothers were staring at you.

Dean had ordered, like he typically did. Whiskey for him, and a beer for each you and Sam. Sam had even lifted his beer and said, “To a successful hunt.” But you hadn’t heard, and now both of them were staring at you. Sam had to lean forward so he could see around Dean, though. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asked, slightly concerned at the far-off look in your eyes.

His voice made your head snap up, blinking blankly at him for a moment. “Yeah, I’m okay. I was just lost in thought,” you replied, repeating those three words in your head so you wouldn’t forget them so you could try to remember the song they went to.

Neither of the brothers were sure they should believe you. “You sure?” Sam asked, just as concerned as Dean.

“Yeah. I was just lost in thought,” you repeated, still repeating those three words in your head, wishing they’d let you get back to the conundrum in your mind.

Sam and Dean glanced at each other, a silent but concerned conversation passing between them before Sam held his beer up again, “It was a successful hunt, and no one got hurt. To a win.” He smiled a little, but was still concerned with what would have you so lost in thought.

You smiled, raising your beer as Dean raised his whiskey glass. “To a successful hunt,” you repeated happily before your glasses clanked together, and each of you took a drink.

Then, you were right back in your head, mentally cursing at yourself for forgetting those three words you’d been repeating. So, you pulled out your phone, opened your notes app and began typing things out that you could remember. Dean tried to glance over your shoulder, but you moved so he couldn’t see. The brothers watched you as you typed and sipped your beer, concern etched in their features, but you didn’t notice.

Even back at the bunker, you only waved good night over your shoulder as you went to your room, your phone still in hand. Once inside your room, you changed into pajamas, let your hair out of its braid, then plopped onto your bed and continued the list you’d been working on.

The two had stopped halfway through the war room, watching as you walked off. With how you had hidden your phone from them, they would have thought it was due to you talking to a guy, but you hadn’t dated anyone since you had started hunting with them. “What do you think has her so quiet?” Sam asked, still staring toward the hallways where you disappeared down.

Dean stood there, just like Sam, staring down the hallway. He’d been trying to figure that very thing out since back at the bar. “Well, it’s not the case. And she’s not dating anyone, so it’s not a guy. I honestly don’t know.” 

For a moment, Sam tried to put the pieces together but was still clueless. “Maybe she’ll be up for talking tomorrow,” he offered before finally heading to his room for the night.

“Yeah, maybe,” Dean murmured before following Sam, both ready to finally get some much-needed rest.

—---------------------

Over the next several months, while not on cases, you spent your time making a list of country songs that were upbeat, suggestive, or just plain fun. It was a decent list, and you were quite proud of yourself. Now the question was, which song would you use to try to get Dean into country music? 

The brothers had tried to talk to you, find out what had you so completely focused on, but you brushed them off. You could tell they were worried. However, you weren’t ready at the time to tell either of them what you’d been up to. You knew Dean would have instantly shot you down, and Sam would have lost it laughing. 

“I’m going for a supply run,” Dean stated, getting up from his seat in the library, but you didn’t respond, concerning him further.

Sam glanced over at you; your entire focus was on your laptop in front of you. You’d turned it slightly so neither could just look over to see what you were up to. “Kitten, you gonna go with him?” Sam asked, concerned. You always went on supply runs so you could get a sweet at the store.

You looked up, a little puzzled, only having half heard both of them. “No. I’m good,” you replied plainly before returning your focus to the screen in front of you.

Dean and Sam exchanged another worried look, then they both looked at you, trying desperately to figure out what the hell you were so focused on. “But, you always go on supply runs,” Sam pointed out, this time, you heard his concern and met his gaze.

“I just really need to work on this. You know that if I walk away from it mid-focus, I’ll forget where I was at, and it’ll take me an hour to figure it out,” you told them apologetically, hoping they’d both understand.

It was true, and they both knew it. Just one of your weird little quirks that they both found cute some times, and annoying other times. “Do you want me to grab you anything?” Dean asked, a little dejected that you weren’t going with him. He loved it when it was just the two of you, but he’d never admit that to you or Sam.

“Pie?” you asked, already back to what you’d been doing.

Dean sighed as his shoulders slumped a little. You missed how his lips slowly turned downward before he walked off to the garage. Sam watched him go, then listened as the Impala drove away. “Alright, spill,” he told you bluntly, his gaze now on you.

Slowly, you lifted your head and looked at him over your laptop. Being short was a bit of a perk, since, right now, all he could see was from the bridge of your nose and above. “Promise not to tell Dean?” you asked apprehensively.

Sam’s brow raised in curiosity. “Depends on what it is.”

“Nothing bad,” you replied.

“Then I can promise not to tell him,” he told you, sitting up a little more as he leaned on the table.

You looked down at the screen, then back up at Sam. “I’m trying to find a country song that would get Dean to at least listen to the song,” you began explaining, then got a little quiet. “...and maybe even like it.”

Sam stared at you, blinking blankly for a moment before he erupted in laughter. You instantly deadpanned, leaned back in your chair, and crossed your arms while attempting to wait patiently till he stopped laughing. 

His hand was now over his chest, attempting to catch his breath. What you were attempting sounded utterly absurd to him; Dean, liking county music. The thought alone made him laugh again. Sam’s eyes teared up the longer his laughter lasted, only annoying you.

“I was serious, Sam,” you told him bluntly when his laughter died down enough that he’d hear you.

He instantly froze, mostly from surprise. You were serious. Sam cleared his throat, leaning forward and resting his arms on the table. “Okay,” he replied, drawing the word out a little, trying to get you to elaborate.

Sam was like a brother to you, and since he seemed interested, you perked up, getting a little excited to tell him about your ‘plan.’ “So, I have been making a list of all the country songs that are upbeat, suggestive, and just plain fun. I want to pick one from the list and learn the dance to it. Then, now with your help, set it up so that Dean can’t get out of not only hearing the song but also seeing the dance and how much fun country music really can be,” you explained quite excitedly.

He wasn’t sure how to react to what you’d said. The mere thought of Dean staying in any place for the length of a country song sounded impossible. Although he’d seen the way Dean would watch you when you’d walk away or when you had your nose stuck in a book helping them with research, so he thought your idea might just work. Sam moved from across the table to the seat next to you. “Alright, I don’t know much about country music, but I’ll try to help,” he offered with a genuine smile, bringing a smile to your lips that went all the way to your eyes.

You then began emphatically showing him the playlist you had made on youtube of the songs, then on the dances for each one. Sam watched intently. You’d done your research, but that was something you had always been good at. Luckily for the two of you, Dean took his time on the supply run, half-lost in his thoughts about what was going on with you.

“Watermelon Craw, definitely,” Sam chuckled after watching the dance for it.

Looking over at him, you tilted your head a bit, “Why that one?” 

“Well, I just think it’s the best one to get him thinking a bit more about country music,” he replied, stifling a knowing smile that was toying with his lips.

You looked from him back to the laptop. It wasn’t a difficult dance. “Okay. But you gotta help me figure out how to set it up so that Dean will stay put long enough for the whole song.” “I can do that. You just focus on learning the moves, Kitten,” Sam chuckled, already devising a plan.

By the time Dean got back, Sam was in the library alone. “Gonna help unload?” 

“Yeah, sorry,” Sam replied, getting up from his seat. “Y/N! Come help unload,” he hollered, already heading toward the garage.

“So, you find out what’s been up with her?” Dean asked quietly as they grabbed bags out of the Impala.

Sam loaded several bags into his hands, “Yeah. She’s working on something for you. It means a lot to her. So, don’t be a dick when she goes to show you.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, you were working on something, for him? “I think I can do that,” he replied fairly nonchalantly, grabbing several more bags. At least she’s not upset. Whether he would admit it or not, he’d been worried about you since that night at the bar.

That was about when you finally showed up in the garage, wearing your typical pair of jeans and some random shirt with a flannel pulled over it. With how big the two of them were, you had to wait till they moved before you could grab anything. Dean gave you a gentle smile before he and Sam headed to the kitchen.

You were just as stubborn as they were when it came to trips back and forth to the car, so loaded up with almost as many bags as they had grabbed before joining them. Dean watched you as you began putting things away. If he was being honest with himself, you hadn’t looked upset over the last month, just… focused, and perhaps even determined. Now, though, you looked relaxed.

He wanted to ask you about whatever this thing was you were working on for him, but with how Sam had told him, he couldn’t. Clearly, whatever it was, you wanted to surprise him with it. Dean loved watching you when you were relaxed like this. You typically had a small smile on your lips and a softness in your eyes, no matter what task you were doing.

Sam, clearing his throat, quickly pulled Dean’s attention. He’d been staring too long again, and again, Sam had caught him. Dean gave him the ‘don’t say a word’ look while Sam just smiled and shook his head in amusement. You were oblivious to it, though. Your focus was on organizing the spices since Dean had remembered to grab the ones that were low.

—---------------------------

You spent all your free time in your room over the next four months practicing the moves for the song. Well, most of your free time. You still hung out with the brothers, having movie nights or goofy drinking games. When you were finally ready to put your ‘plan’ into action, you let Sam know. He had even covered for you to grab the couple of things for the outfit that you didn’t own.

Now, you were standing in front of your mirror, feeling like you looked ridiculous. Typically, you never wore shorts unless they were bed shorts, and even in those, you never left your room in them. You owned shorts, you had just never worn them in front of either of the brothers. The ones you were currently wearing were jean cut-offs, easily resembling daisy dukes. Then there was the top, a red and white plaid button-up that tied so it was more of a half-top with short sleeves. It wasn’t that it looked bad or anything; it just showed off your mid-drift, and your belly-button piercing. That was also something neither of the brothers knew about. This particular one was a skull and crossbones.

The hat was a nice, plain brown cowboy hat to match the knee-high cowboy boots. You’d left your hair down, but it didn’t seem functional. So, you thought about how a girl would have her hair if she was doing things on a farm or ranch, even if she was wearing a hat. With that, you set the hat on your bed and put your hair up in a braid before returning the hat to your head.

Well, it looks better, at least.

It wasn’t that your goal was to seduce Dean or anything like that. Yeah, you liked him, far more than you’d admit. But he was a hunter, and you weren’t human. So you had completely pushed any idea of anything with him out of your mind. 

I still look stupid.

You never dressed like this, ever. Then again, you really wanted Dean to see that some country music was fun and not all of it was the ‘tear in your beer’ sort of music. You hadn’t even let Sam see what you were wearing. The last thing you wanted to hear was him teasing you. With a determined breath, you pulled out your phone and sent a text to Sam. “I’m ready.”

“I’ll text you when I’m outside.”

Less than ten minutes later, your phone buzzed again with another message from Sam.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.” One more glance in the mirror, then you sent a text to Dean. “Can you meet me in the library? I want to share something with you.”

Dean had been relaxing in his room for most of the morning, and now Sam was gone on a supply run, and you’d basically locked yourself in your room for the last nearly hour. So, when his phone went off with your notification sound, he picked it up, curious and puzzled. That only got worse after he read your text.

“Sure.” 

He closed his laptop and headed out of his room while you listened at your door to his boots as they went down the hallway. When he rounded the corner into the library, it was empty, save for a note sitting on the closest table. Please just give me three minutes of your time, and if you still hate it, I’ll never ask again.

Y/N Now, he was really puzzled, but before he had any time to contemplate what the note meant, he heard a familiar tune coming from the war room. It was a tune he’d heard you listen to before. Dean hadn’t even noticed that your speaker had been placed on the table. He did hear your steps in the hallway, getting louder the closer you got. 

He knew how much you enjoyed an array of music, and you always wanted to share it with him and Sam. Most times, he wasn’t in the mood. That was typically due to your timing on the matter. At the bunker, he just loved messing with you. Half the time when you’d turn your music on, he’d put his headphones in but wouldn’t turn on his music so he could hear yours and watch you dance around your room. He just couldn’t tell you that.

Typically, you wore your shoes or went around in socks. The sound he heard from your footsteps was neither of those, and he couldn’t pull his gaze from the hallway. The moment you came into view, he swallowed hard before his mouth went completely dry. You never showed skin, like, ever. His arms were crossed, an unreadable expression on his face as you entered the war room, your steps on par with the beat of the song. Then, you began dancing, your eyes on Dean the whole time. You were a little self-conscious as your thighs jiggled a little as you moved, but you tried to focus more on the moves and not that. Technically, the song was a line dance, but you had added your own flare to it, along with doing the “watermelon crawl” mentioned in the song.

Dean looked you up and down, slowly, and the thoughts that began playing through his mind were far more detailed than anything his imagination had come up with before. The way your thighs jiggled had him wanting to knead your flesh or burry his face between them and make them jiggle for an entirely different reason.

When the band started playin' The watermelon queen said “Let me show you somethin’ That you ain’t never seen” She grabbed me by the arm said “Come on let's go” She dipped down, spun around, and do-si-doed She rocked back on her heels Dropped down to her knees Crawled across the floor Then she jumped back on her feet She wiggled and she jiggled Beat all you ever saw Said this is how you do The Watermelon crawl

Thankfully, the music was loud, or you would have heard the groan that made it past his lips when you did everything in the song except grab him by the arm. He couldn’t move, and he couldn’t take his eyes off you. It was when you jumped back on your feet that the light in the library bounced off your belly button piercing that made his lips part slightly.

When the song came to an end, you were standing at the foot of the stairs in the war room. Your breathing was a little heavy from the exertion of dancing, but you had a small smile on your lips. It quickly faded when you looked over at Dean. He hadn’t moved a single muscle.

He couldn’t move. It was taking every ounce of self-control he had not to pin you against the wall before carrying you to his bed. “Done?” he asked, far gruffer than he meant to, and he instantly regretted it when he saw your expression fall further.

A sad sigh slipped out your nose as your lips formed a small pout, “Yeah,” you mumbled. Then you turned, head dipping a bit, grabbed your speaker, and went to your room.

The moment you were out of sight, Dean set his hands on the library table, using it as balance as he attempted to fight with his throbbing cock. I swear, that woman has no idea what she does to me. He took several slow, deep breaths, trying to shake the images of you dancing from his mind. I’m never going to be able to even hear that song again without thinking of her. 

Once in your room, you changed into comfy sweats and a slightly baggy shirt, then plopped down on your bed. “You can come back in Sam. I’m done.” 

“How’d it go?” he texted right back since he was only sitting outside the bunker.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Sam was instantly concerned, pocketing his phone and making his way into the bunker. He found Dean, still in the same position, leaning on the table, his breathing still a little heavy and clearly lost in thought.

“Dude, you okay?” Sam asked, now a little worried about his brother too.

Dean’s head snapped up, not expecting his brother to show up so quickly. “Yeah, I’m good,” he lied, his voice that octave deeper.

“Funny. You don’t look so good,” Sam told him, daring to take a few more steps closer.

Dean sighed, then leaned his back against the table. “She got to me, alright. You could have at least given me a heads up as to what she was going to wear.” Sam furrowed his brow, a little confused. “She didn’t even show me what she was going to wear.”

“Did you know she has a skull and cross bones belly button piercing?” Dean mused as a smile began tugging at the corner of his lips.

That was when Sam chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “Nope. You need to talk to her, though. She thinks you’re mad at her,” he explained. Even if you hadn’t said it, it was clear to Sam how you were feeling.

“And what the hell am I supposed to say to her?” Dean asked, almost reluctant to ask.

“Tell her the truth,” Sam suggested gently, knowing how long his brother had been attempting to hide his feelings for you.

Dean hung his head. The last thing he wanted you to believe was that he was mad at you. He glanced at the hallway, then took a deep breath before heading in that direction. Sam wished him good luck before he took those couple of steps down into the war room.

The closer he got to your room, the faster his heart sped up and the more the butterflies danced around in his stomach. Dean was never good with words. Well, he wasn’t good with these sorts of words, but for you, he’d at least try.

The hesitant knock on your door pulled your attention from your laptop, but you went over and opened it anyway. You figured it would have been Sam to come console you and get you to talk about how it had gone. You were not prepared to see Dean standing there, looking… nervous.

He couldn’t quite meet your eyes, knowing how dejected you had looked when you walked away earlier. “I’m sorry, about… earlier,” he told you, quieter than you were used to hearing him.

You looked up at him, a little puzzled, even if you were still feeling dejected. “Why? I know you don’t like country music. It’s my fault for pushing you,” you told him, doing your best to keep your emotions out of your words. You really didn’t want his pity.

His eyes instantly met yours. “No. Don’t do that. It’s not your fault. And you didn’t push me, so don’t go thinking like that,” he told you, a little sterner than he meant to. Then, he let out a sigh as he ran a hand down his face.

“Can I come in?” he asked, the guilt that had been weighing him down slipped into his words.

You weren’t sure what he was trying to get at, but you moved to let him in anyway. He was still your friend, after all. You sat down near your headboard again while he took a seat at the foot of your bed, his gaze on the floor while his arms rested on his thighs.

“I’m sorry, for not saying anything earlier. I honestly didn’t know what to say,” he began, still unsure how to tell you what was going through his head or how he felt. Dean could tell you were watching him. Probably even tilting your head like a curious cat, which he always found adorable.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves and racing heart. “It was amazing. You were amazing,” he finally told you, quietly breaking the silence that was driving you crazy with worry. “I’ve never seen you dance before,” he admitted in almost a whisper. “Why did you go through all that?” 

You bit your bottom lip, thankful he wasn’t looking at you, or he would have seen the blush on your cheeks from his compliment. “I just wanted you to see that country music wasn’t all depressing like you kept saying it was,” you admitted in a nervous, almost whisper, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

When he chuckled, and that smile found his lips, you smiled, too. You couldn’t help it. His smile always made you smile in return, even if it wasn’t always directed at you. It was when he turned to meet your gaze that your breath hitched in your chest, and you hoped he didn’t notice.

He still wasn’t entirely sure when it had happened, but he knew he couldn’t deny it anymore. He just couldn’t quite bring himself to admit it yet. There were the times he’d caught you watching him, a look in your eyes that took his breath away and scared the hell out of him. But now, you looked almost worried about what he would say.

“Sometimes, when you’d turn on your music and I would put my headphones on, I didn’t always turn my music on. Sometimes, I listened to what you were,” he admitted a little sheepishly, shifting a little so he was facing you more.

The surprise on your face brought a smile to his lips, so he continued. “I do like some of the songs, and not just from the country ones you would play. I’ll never be able to listen to that one you danced to and hear it the same way again, though,” he chuckled a little, thinking about how you moved. “I’m gonna see you dancing to it in my head. I loved that, by the way,” he added gently but sincerely.

Your expression instantly brightened, even if a deep blush found your cheeks, but before you could say anything about how happy you were, he spoke again.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you had a piercing? It’s cute,” he told you, that devilishly hot smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes.

The blush on your cheeks went deeper as you ducked your head and averted his eyes, instantly flustered from head to toe. It was when you felt his hand over yours as you fidgeted with your shirt that pulled your gaze back to his.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asked, but this time it was genuine concern. You talked to him about everything, or so he thought.

Your eyes fell to his hand over yours, trying not to frown. “A lot,” you mumbled. Then you felt him shift on the bed so that he was closer to you before he gently lifted your chin so he could look into your eyes.

“Talk to me, Kitten, please,” he asked softly, but he hadn’t moved away, and it made your heart flutter a little.

“I felt stupid, wearing that outfit and dancing. My thighs were jiggly, and I just felt exposed. I wasn’t trying to make you think about me. I just wanted you to see that country music wasn’t all depressing,” you confessed quietly but had averted your eyes from his before you had even started talking. Then, after a few moments of silence, “...and I never mentioned my piercing cause I thought you’d think it was stupid,” you mumbled. 

Dean sighed, hearing the vulnerability in your voice broke his heart. You were one of the most confident people he knew, even if you weren’t human. “Listen,” he began sincerely, then dipped his head so he was looking into your eyes. “You’re beautiful, even if you don’t see it.”

“Not pretty enough,” you mumbled.

His look went from sincere to utterly serious. So that’s why she always wears things that cover her curves. The lightbulb finally came on for him. He knew he was going to have to say things he’d kept to himself for far too long, apparently. 

“Kitten, listen,” he began, and the gentleness of his tone pulled your gaze to him again. “I know I’m risking everything here, but it’s damn time you knew. You really are beautiful. I’m always thinking about you, wondering what you’d look like in something a little more… form fitting. Those shorts of yours…” That smirk found his lips before he bit his bottom one, and he practically purred at the thought of them on you.

“I’d love to see you in them again,” he told you with the smirk that said far more than you wanted to think about. Mostly because you always told yourself you imagined him looking at you. “...I love them, and you look amazing in them.” He watched the blush in your cheeks go a shade darker, and to him, it was the most adorable thing he’d seen, other than your curious cat look. “I’m not good with talking about emotions. Can… can I show you what you mean to me?” he asked gingerly, knowing he was risking everything if you didn’t feel the same way.

Your heart was pounding so loudly that you swore he could hear it. Then it was like all the air had been sucked from your lungs, and you couldn’t take a deep breath. You swore the butterflies in your stomach were doing some sort of rave, and the look in his eyes made you swallow hard. Literally, all you could do was nod.

Dean looked from your eyes to your lips, which were slightly parted, then back to your eyes before he slowly closed the distance. His finger and thumb were still gently holding your chin so you could pull away if you really wanted to. His other hand was still over both of yours in your lap. The moment he saw you close your eyes, his lips met yours, and it was better than anything his fantasies had come up with.

The way he kissed you had you thinking all sorts of things. It was slow, intimate, and you prayed your heart wouldn’t explode with as hard as it was beating. Does he really feel the same? It was the only thought that kept running on repeat as your lips moved with his. For a few moments, it was hard to fully relax, let the moment flow.

Dean could feel how tense you were, so he went slow, only wanting to show you what he couldn’t tell you. He wasn’t ready to usher those three little words into existence. Slowly, he shifted closer to you, his lips in a slow dance with yours. His hand glided across your skin from your chin to your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair as he held you close.

You allowed yourself to lean into his touch, feel what he couldn’t tell you in words, and by doing so, your fingers laced themselves with his in your lap. The moment stretched on, the tenderness of everything that was him, soothed your worry, your insecurities, and the doubt that always clouded your mind. 

When he did pull away, he rested his forehead against yours, still holding you close, trying to catch his breath. “You really are amazing,” he whispered tenderly, a soft, genuine smile on his face.

It made you smile a little as you looked into his eyes, seeing something there that had your breath hitching again. He does feel the same way. “So are you,” you whispered.

Both of you knew things would change. The lives you lived were hard, but it was moments like this that you both secretly vowed to have as many of as possible. To be each other’s rock while also being that soft, loving safe space that would bring peace to the other’s soul. You knew Dean had his faults, but you had yours. It wasn’t going to be perfect, but it was going to be something you’d put your all into, as would he, and neither of you needed to speak those words to each other to know that.

----------------------------------------- Touched Master List Main Master List

Permanent Tag List: @roseblue373 @flamencodiva @reignsboy19 @stillhere197 @foxyjwls007

@hobby27 @megs-gadom @cheekygirl2309 @mxtansy @ladysparkles78

[spnheadbang]

Coming to you on January 20th, 2025…

Say It Ain’t So

Written by @krexhatespushups-blog, with art by @zissie

Rating: Mature

Word count: 10,000

Characters: Dean Winchester, John Winchester, Castiel Novak, Bobby Singer    

Ships: Dean Winchester & John Winchester, Dean Winchester & Bobby Singer, Dean Winchester/Castiel

Tags: AU-Modern Setting, Physical & Emotional Abuse, John Winchester is an Asshole, Bobby Singer raised Dean, Internalized Homophobia, Death of a Character, Dr. Castiel Novak, Inspired by “Say it Ain’t So” by Weezer Summary: The last person Dean expected to see in Lawrence was his childhood friend and crush, Jimmy Novak, who is the forensic pathologist that performed the autopsy on his father. The news of his father’s death and seeing Jimmy again brought back a flood of memories for Dean. One of Dean’s biggest regrets was not ever telling Jimmy how he felt about him before Jimmy left Sioux Falls. Will Dean find the courage to tell his friend how he truly feels or will the memories of his youth be too much?

[supernaturalsidepiece]

Me, when I read a destiel fanfic that's good and in character: ♡☆👍yay👍☆♡

Me, when I read a destiel fanfic and destiel start to sort out their shit and suddenly I am reading a destiel fanfic that's bad and out of character: 😬¿👎boo👎¿😬

[gay-mooshrooms]

in case anyone's wondering how my spn watch through is going i had a breakdown and was crying on and off over destiel for hours a few days ago, watched 12x23 a few days ago and stayed up until midnight reading fic and sobbing, and I'm in the middle of reading a long fic that took 12x23 and made it hurt SO MUCH MORE and i just got up from slithering off my bed onto the floor and curling into a ball and sobbing 👍

[sammyluvr]

✶ love you like that — sam winchester

cw : gn!reader, fluff, tfem!roommate!sam, college!au, insecurity, kissing, unedited, 783 words. requested ! for my 900 followers event [ closed ] .

prompt : under beige sheets and a grey comforter + “you’re loved.” “but how do you know?” “because i love you.”

the twin sized beds in your campus apartment are a tight squeeze for two people. and sure, there’s two beds, but you and sam make it work for movie nights and the likes. maybe sharing a bed like this is more than friendly, but so are lots of the things you do together.

she’s just very shy, very unsure of herself. but she’s the most comfortable with you over anyone else. you’re the first person she came out to, and the first person to really support her too. it was terrifying, but being herself around you isn’t so scary anymore.

her head rests on your shoulder, and the movie on your laptop is long finished with the dvd already back in its box. earlier this year, she’d wished her beige sheets and dark grey comforter were more feminine. so you told her you really liked the minimalist look and were tired of your old sheets anyway. you gave yours to an old friend moving out of their house and in need, took sam’s so she wouldn’t feel like they were going to waste, and went shopping for new ones with her. so when the two of you are curled up in your bed, you’re warmed by grey and beige, like tonight. and when you’re in hers, the sheets are a subtle lilac and the duvet is off white with little flowers and ruffles around the edge. she said she thought it was a bit much, but you could tell she really liked them. 

she looks very pretty sleeping in that bed, surrounded by pastels and ruffles that match the white nightgown she wears on the hottest summer nights. that dress makes her thighs look so pretty, her chest too. you have a hard time not staring when she wears it.

tonight, she’s quiet. you can feel her hesitation, her tendency towards insecurity. you understand her, of course it’s hard. she’s tall with naturally wide shoulders and strong facial features. but you think she’s so pretty, likely the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. tonight she’s in sweats and a cami, it’s not hot enough for that dress. if it were, neither of you would be under the covers. simple grey blankets both of your legs instead.

“sam,” you murmur, finally shutting your bulky laptop shut.

“mmm?” she hums in response, trying to sound light and untroubled. you know her better than that.

“you’re loved,” you say without any prompting from her at all. “for you. you know that, right?”

she hesitates like she doesn’t know. it’s hard to remember sometimes, hard to feel like it’s true. her voice is small and quiet, like she’s nervous to ask, knowing you get sad when she doubts herself like this. and yet, you reassure her with enthusiasm each and every time, and it always means the world to her. “but how do you know?” she whispers.

you give a small smile, a knowing one. she can’t even see it from where she is. “because i love you,” you say simply. so simply. you’ve said it before. you’re the type of friends who say i love you. but usually it’s casual. you always mean it, but normally, it’s on the way out the door, a friendly love ya! when you won’t see each other for a little while. it’s said while laughing about something stupid, like it’s just an appreciation for the other’s humor and silly thoughts. the way you say it this time is very obviously more. she still takes it as something friendly. in a moment of vulnerability, you’d have said this to her as a friend, too. that much is true, but you know what she means and she’s in denial about what you mean.

she sighs softly, grateful for your kindness, but not so convinced. “i… i know, i mean like–”

“i know what you mean,” you cut her off gently, “that’s what i mean, too. i love you like that, sam. i swear it.”

sam’s a shy girl, but she just has to see your face to make sure you’re not being mean, not saying something just to get her hopes up and then dash them to the floor. you’d never do that, of course. she lifts her head and turns to you, eyes soft and a little pleading too. you meet her gaze with unending sincerity and a patient sort of love.

she grabs your face in both pretty hands and kisses you with enough force to nearly knock your head against the wall behind you. you don’t even startle, just kiss her back with enough force to keep you both safely tucked in the plush of all your blankets and pillows.

[imbadatwrighting]

PAIRING: dean winchester x ditzy!winchester!reader, sam winchester x ditzy!winchester!reader (both platonic)

SUMMARY: maybe the winchester brothers should have made sure you were doing your homework instead of letting you goof off in your room; it only made you more stubborn.

A/N: i’m pretty sure this is very stupid and probably not that well written (if you can’t tell by the summary). I gotta start getting into writing again on tumblr 😭 but anyways this is based off this post!! mentions of getting hurt from a gun.

They should have known you weren’t doing your homework like you promised. You were never one who liked to do your schoolwork, even after being homeschooled due to the hunting life you were born into. It wasn’t like you couldn’t, just most of the time, you never put much effort into trying to.

It’s why most times when Sam gave you work to complete by yourself, you’d hold off until Sam’s patience wore thin and he begrudgingly helped you out. Not that Sam didn’t like to help his baby sister out, but he knew you could do it if you tried. Then again, it felt sort of nice to know someone relied on him and not Dean for once.

Maybe the first sign they should’ve noticed was how quickly you sprung up to go your room at the mention of school work. Once perched on Dean’s lap as he sat in one of the library chairs, your fingers twiddling with his flannel, then up and scurrying to your room when Sam only asked if you got any done yet.

A look of confusion spread on their faces and a quick, “be careful!” left Dean when he heard your little giggle as your thigh high socks made you slide down the hallway. But the groans and huffs of annoyance soon heard throughout the bunker caused them to force away their questions and continue on with their day. Dean drinking his beer and pretending to read the lore books while Sam actually read.

It was only a little more than half an hour later when they heard your door slam open and your feet paddling against the hard floor that they looked up. Sam stood up, walking quickly to where he heard you coming before your figure collided with his. He stumbled back only slightly, his hand grabbing onto your elbows to still you. It looked like it affected you more than it did him, Sam having to hold you up to stop you from getting knocked down on the floor.

“Hey, hey,” he spoke softly, his face painted with concern. “Are you okay?” You nodded your head quickly, basically hopping on your tippy toes with excitement. “I did it!” you giggled.

Sam raised his eyebrow. “Did what? Your homework?” he asked. He almost congratulated you before he saw the look on your face. Pure confusion and slight disgust. “What—no. Why would I want to do that?”

Of course not. Sam hummed with slight disappointment, but he didn’t get another word in edgewise before you were squirming out of his grasp and speed walking over to Dean. Your hand grabbed at his sleeve, trying to drag your older brother out of his chair.

Dean only looked at you with an amused expression, not moving a single inch even when you used your full body strength to try forcing him up. It wasn’t until the tone of your whines started getting more annoyed that he relented. His hand grabbed yours, making sure you kept your balance. “I’m up, I’m up. Don’t get your pants in a twist, sweetheart,” he grumbled, setting his beer on the table as you already started pulling him towards your room.

You didn’t even bother to question his phrase, even though you knew you were wearing a skirt, not pants. You just continued to drag Dean as Sam followed behind you two silently. You were babbling on about how you had to show Dean something but never mentioning what that something was.

When you finally got to your room Dean looked around in slight confusion. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. An army of stuffed animals still on the pink covers, your backpack, where you stuffed all your school papers, still peaked out of your closet unopened. Neither Dean nor Sam saw any reason why you’d want them in your room.

It wasn’t until you held up your computer. “See that, Dee?” you giggled, almost pushing the screen into his face. Sam grabbed the laptop from you carefully, but still held it so Dean could see.

“What am I supposed to be seeing, sweetheart?” he asked, looking at your screen. All he saw was a video game, that only took him a short second before he questioned if you should be playing it. But then again, he wouldn’t be bringing that up right now, he’d leave that to Sam.

A pout rested on your face and an annoyed huff left your mouth. “Mhm, I won!” you answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Dean nodded silently at your words. “Good for you,” he muttered.

You waited for Dean to add anymore but when he didn’t you groaned, taking a small step forward. One of your arms wrapped around his while the other pointed at the laptop screen. “I shot all those people! Now you can really give me a gun!”

That got your brothers’ attention, their heads turning to look at you. Dean grinned but his eyes stayed focused on your face like he was trying to find a glimpse at any sort of prank. Yet he found none.

Dean’s face hardened within seconds. “No,” he suddenly declared.

He could only think of all the scenarios of you getting hurt because of a damn gun. He hated the idea of you forgetting to turn off the safety and hurting yourself or someone taking your gun and using it against you. He especially hated the idea that you needed a gun in the first place. You don’t need a gun, you have him.

Sam nodded slowly, agreeing with his brother before shutting your laptop. “Video games aren’t anything like real life. We can’t make the decision to give you a gun based off it,” Sam sighed.

A frown fell on your face and you unwrapped yourself from your brothers, snatching the laptop from your other brother. “We hunt literal monsters and I still can’t use a gun?” you pouted, throwing your laptop onto your bed and crossing your arms.

“Well, when I don’t have to worry about the gun smacking you because of the recoil or you dropping it from the noise, I’ll think about it,” Dean grumbled.

“Besides,” Sam cut in with a small, apologetic smile, “you don’t need a gun; we gave you a knife last year incase there was a time you needed protection and we couldn’t be there, remember?”

You huffed dramatically, turning your head to the side in frustration. “Yeah, but that’s not the same,” you pouted. Sam nodded slightly, thinking of what to say to hopefully get you to agree. “Well, maybe in a few years we can revisit it, but for now, Dean and I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

“That’s not fair!” you declared, stomping your foot against the floor.

Dean rolled his eyes at your little temper tantrum. What was the big deal? So what if you can’t get a gun? It’s better than shooting off your face because you forgot to turn the safety on when you tried messing with it. “You know what’s not fair—” he started, eyes narrowing on you.

“Listen,” Sam interjected quickly, giving Dean a quick glare. “we can talk about this later. In the meantime both of you need to calm down. Go watch a movie or something.”

It seemed like your pout lessened and your frustration dissipating as the seconds went by. “Only if I get to pick,” you muttered.

Dean scoffed at that, his eyes rolling slightly. “I am not watching Gossip Girl with you again,” he grumbled. Your eyes narrowed on your eldest brother and before Sam could blink both of you were squabbling like toddlers.

Sam sighed, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t bothering trying to stop you two; that would lead nowhere. With a huff, he was already heading out the door, knowing the fight wouldn’t lead anywhere else. By now you probably already forgot about not getting your way anyways. “Do your homework, please!” Sam said before stepping out of the room.

“I’ll do it later!” you yelled back, barely paying attention as you tried messing with Dean. Sam could hear you giggle as Dean probably pushed you onto your bed. Sam could only sigh, hiding his smile as he moved into the dean cave. He began setting up the movie he knew both his older brother and little sister would like; there was only so much energy in you before you’d want to cuddle up to your brothers and watch tv.

[idlingintheimpalapodcast]

New Episode Alert: Let’s hear it for the writers! Interview with fandom challenge creators, Kym and Stacey

Happy 2025 folks! Hope everyone had a nice holiday season. It's back to reality for Kasey & Sandra this week, back to work & real life & responsibilities. Boooo

BUT!

It's also the start of season 4 of Idling in the Impala!!

Opening up the year is a brilliant interview with two amazing people. This week we're chatting to Kym (@deanwinchesterswitch) and Stacey (@princessmisery666) about all things writing challenges & running them.

Kym moderates @jacklesversebingo and Stacey started @alphabetquest year. Both are still ongoing so make sure you check them out when you're done listening and give the participants some love! (Maybe you'll spot your fav host's names in there too😉)

Listen on Spotify Watch on Youtube:

Chapter Timestamps 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:34 - The origin story of Kym and Stacey 00:04:39 - What makes a great lifelong fandom friend? 00:06:37 - How friends influence creativity 00:08:25 - Cheerleading friends become fanfic instigators 00:11:10 - The Supernatural fandom - then versus now 00:14:31 - The Stamp of Approval Discord server 00:20:44 - Other ways to collaborate? 00:25:22 - The micro vs macro aspect to challenges 00:29:54 - The search for a fanfic space 00:33:27 - All about Alphabet Quest 00:49:52 - The Jensen of it all - Jacklesverse Bingo 00:56:31 - Creating community within challenges 00:59:05 - Kym’s decision to run a second bingo round 01:00:20 - The opportunity for engagement and connection 01:03:15 - Any changes in Kym’s second bingo round 01:06:42 - Do the challenger creators have time to create? 01:13:51 - Hopes for fellow creators 01:17:57 - The waning of SPN fandom 01:22:23 - Closing thoughts 01:29:54 - Outro

[whumpchester]

Sam whump fic recs p.3

or, sam fics that made me go Ourghhhhhh 😭🙏

→ wincest, sam rarepairs, sam/others. check archive warnings and tags

→ part 1 / 2

Broken Prayers by withthekeyisking ❤️ [sam/chuck, E]

Sam is someone who prayed all his life. He always believed in God, always had faith, even if Dad and Dean sneered at the concept. He just never in a million years ever thought he would actually meet God, not even after meeting all His angels.

And he never imagined meeting God would go like this. [11x21, sam + faith]

172a - countdown by ani_coolgirl ❤️ [wincest, T]

Sam Winchester purifies his blood. It may be a pointless exercise; the problem has never been what he's done, but what he is. [8x23]

Bunk(er) Buddy by withthekeyisking [sam &/ lucifer, M] ❤️

It took Sam a long time to feel like the bunker was home, and now it's ruined. Because Lucifer, the person responsible for the nightmares that still wake Sam up screaming, is not only living in it, but living in his room. [11x22]

growing pains by apex__predator [wincest, E]

The way it happened— the way Sam remembers it happening— is laughably mundane. All you understand when you’re that young is what you’re told by the people who are supposed to love you. [extremely underage, dean!whump as well]

screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking [sam/tim/reggie (hunters from 5.03), E]

Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.

143 - stupid b ani_coolgirl [wincest, sam/other, M]

Exhaustion makes Sam stupid and desperate. No (good) solutions are found. [7x17, wincest + sam/the dealer]

I used to scream ferociously by angelszn [sam/lucifer, sam/cas, sam & jack, E]

Lucifer brings Sam back for Jack. Lucifer brought Sam back for Jack. [13x21–22, first part of 3 work series]

Don't cry baby, day will be dawning by merle_p [sam/bobby, E]

Sam breaks down, and Bobby is there to pick up the pieces. [post 3x16]

Like A Girl by angelszn (artbabe) [wincest + sam/bobby, E]

Bobby wants Sam, but he knows Dean would never let him just take him. So he uses a little potion to get his way and give Dean a bit of a treat too.

[winniewritesstories]

Pilot | The (Mis)Adventures of Meg Winchester ii

Summary - the pilot but with Meg added! (She's 8)

Pairings/characters - Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Meg Winchester (OC), Jessica Moore, John Winchester (mentioned), Bobby Singer (mentioned)

Sam Winchester x little sister, Dean Winchester x little sister

Warnings - mentions of death and violence, spoilers for spn (obviously lol), that's it?

Language - English (British)

Word Count - 2,675

Notes - I'm NOT doing a series re-write but many of these will be/feature episodes, although there will be plenty that don't take place within an episode. Please let me know if you like!

Credits - @firefly-graphics for the dividers

Stanford University, 2005.

Dean stood in his brother’s apartment, face to face with him for the first time in over two years. Their not-so-happy reunion had been interrupted by Sam’s girlfriend, Jessica, whom Dean immediately decided was way out of his brother’s league (and he proceeded to hit on her).

Dean needed Sam with him on this. Dad was missing, and Dean didn’t know what to do. His only back up was a scrawny eight year old, and - much as he loved the kid - that wasn’t much help. He needed Sam.

“Dad hasn’t been home in a few days,” Dean said, choosing his words carefully in front of Sam’s civilian girlfriend.

“So he’s working overtime on the miller time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later,” Sam replied. He didn't see why this warranted Dean breaking in at midnight. Couldn't the man pick up a phone?

Dean opened his mouth to reply, but a clunk and a bang from the kitchen made both Winchester’s tense up. Then Dean sighed in resignation.

"You were supposed to wait in the car.” Dean called. Sam - who had been ready to tackle for the second time that night whomever had broken into his apartment - gave his brother a confused look. But his worry and confusion fell away when a small head of brown curls and bright green eyes poked around the kitchen door.

"I was lookin’ for Pop Tarts,” she said with a toothy grin. Her eyes moved from her eldest brother to the one she hadn’t seen in years. “Sammy!”

She'd grown, gotten taller, but she was still wiry and thin. As a baby, Meg had looked like Sam, but she was growing into a carbon copy of Dean, with his green eyes and spattering of freckles across her cheeks.

She moved at the speed of light, throwing herself into Sam's arms. He swung her off the floor so she could wrap her legs around him. She was bigger, but she was still small. She'll always be small to Sam.

Meg's arms went around her brother's neck and she held him tight for several seconds.

"I missed you!" she cried out, pulling back far enough to look at her brother.

"I missed you too, Scout," Sam replied affectionately, surprised at how easily the nickname slipped out. "You got tall."

Meg grinned, flashing a gap in her front teeth. "Almost as tall as you, I reckon." Sam chuckled. Meg then looked shyly to the girl standing by Sam, giving her a small smile.

"This is Jessica. Jess, this is Meg." Sam said softly. Jess smiled widely.

"Hi, Meg. I've heard a lot about you." Jess replied. Meg beamed. That meant Sammy had been talking about her.

"Meg." Dean said behind them, but he wasn't really mad. Not watching his two favourite people reunite. "I told you to wait in the car. How'd you even get in?"

Meg shrugged one shoulder as Sam set her down, the strap of her dungarees falling down. "Climbed the fire escape. I wanted to see Sam," she reasoned. "Plus, I'm hungry." Dean rolled his eyes fondly. The girl certainly had his appetite. She went to stand next to her oldest brother, who placed a gentle hand on her unruly curls.

"Was just explaining to Sammy why we're here," Dean said, shifting his focus back to his brother. "Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days."

Sam stiffened, his face serious. "Jess, excuse us."

____

Meg knew it was bad. They'd come to get Sam from school, so it had to be bad. The didn't bother Sam for anything, not even when Meg hurt her leg last year. Sure, Dad would take off for days, sometimes weeks at a time, but he always called. Kept Dean up to date on where he was and what he was hunting. Sometimes he'd ask after Meg. Most of the time he trusted Dean to look after her and assumed he'd call if anything was wrong. Not that John could - or would - do anything if she was sick.

Dean had already been getting worried in New Orleans when they hadn't heard from him. Then they got the voicemail, and his worry turned to dread. He'd ran the voicemail through a computer and found the EVP, a crackling female voice talking about home. They'd left for Stanford that night.

Meg knew it was bad, but she wasn't that concerned. The thing that worried her most was Dean's fear. He was trying to hide it, but she could see that underneath his smile and confidence, he was worried. For Meg, things were much the same. In fact, they were almost better. She could go months without seeing her father or hearing his voice, that wasn't new. But getting Sammy back? That was awesome.

She sat in the back of the Impala while Sam and Dean had a conversation in hushed voices about Dad and EVP and Monday. Meg didn't know what was happening on Monday, but it seemed important to Sam. She waited for them to finish talking, and looked up at Sam's apartment. She liked Jess, she decided. Meg had been raised by her brothers, her Uncle Bobby, and very occasionally her father, but she didn't know many women. Jessica was nice, and she was pretty, and Sammy seemed to really like her - maybe even love her.

The driver side door opened and Meg sat up eagerly.

"Sammy's gone to pack a bag," Dean said with a smile. Meg stuck her head out the Impala's window.

"Sammy!" she called. He turned at the door. "Bring me a Pop Tart!"

_________

"Can I sit up front with you?" Meg asked her brothers after Sam slung his duffel in the trunk. Sam didn't have any Pop Tarts in his house, but he'd brought her a brunch bar to snack on. It tasted like cardboard and disappointment.

"No, you stay back there, munchkin. Get some sleep." Dean replied. Meg pouted.

"I can't sleep! We just got Sammy back!" Meg cried. She turned her attention to Sam. "I like Jessica. Is she your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, yeah she is." Sam said, and he couldn't keep the smile of his face.

"Awww." Meg said, scrunching up her nose. "Jess and Sammy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love-"

"Alright, alright. Cut it out." Dean said, but he smirked at the blush creeping up Sam's neck to his face. "Hey, Goose, why don't you tell Sam what you've been up to since you saw him last."

"Dean, we haven't seen him in for ages! That's so much stuff! Hmm... Okay, Uncle Bobby got a new dog, his name is Rumsfeld and I love him. Last year I hurt my leg really bad and I had to get shots but even then we couldn't come see you. But it was alright 'cos Dean looked after me for a week and I didn't have to do any school work. I lost like four teeth since I last saw you as well and now I can't whistle. Umm... what else? Oh - Dean taught me how to fix the Impala and I'm really good at it. I've been riding shotgun when it's just us, but you can have that seat now. Just don't touch my music. I also grew taller and then my shoes didn't fit so we had to go shopping. That was kinda boring though. Uncle Bobby's been teaching me lots of things, too, like -"

Sam held up a hand. "Slow down, Meg. Take a breath. What happened to your leg?" The admission she'd hurt her leg had been the most concerning thing he'd heard, and she hadn't been forthcoming with any details.

"A monster got it. I had'to go hospital and get shots and stitches, but then Dean got me ice cream, and even Dad-"

"Why in the hell were anywhere near a monster? Dean, what the hell are you thinking? She's a kid, she- "

"I know she's a kid, Sam, it's not like I planned it. Dad needed help on a case and I didn't have time to take Meg to Bobby's, so she stayed in the car. There were only supposed to be three - Dad hadn't clocked the other Skinwalker until it was at the car. We handled it, Meg got patched up, everyone's fine." Dean fired back defensively, raising his voice.

"How is that fine, Dean? She could've been taken, or killed, or turned! You're supposed to be looking after her, not putting her in danger, for crying out - "

"Looking out for her? Sam, that's all I do. It was a freak accident, and you ain't gonna make me feel worse than I already do. Not to mention, you haven't even been here for years. I ain't about to get a lecture from the guy who bailed on us, on his family - "

"Enough!" Meg cried out from the back seat, eyes getting watery. "No arguing when we just got Sammy back! 'Sides, he left 'cos he and Dad argued all the time so if you keep arguing, he'll leave again." Both boys softened at her outburst.

"Meg, that isn't why I left - "

"I don't care. I didn't get that hurt, really. Plus Dad stuck around for like almost a whole week, which I think is the longest I've seen him since... ever? And Dean made me pancakes whenever I asked, and then we went to stay with Uncle Bobby while my leg got all the way better and he looked after me really, really well. It wasn't Dean's fault, it was the monster's fault. Don't shout at him."

The car lapsed into an awkward silence. Dean's guilt was still eating him up inside, even though it had been over a year since Meg got hurt. He knew it was his fault, knew he should've looked after her better, but Sam throwing it in his face didn't help. Not to mention the fact that Meg thought Sam was staying so long as they didn't argue. He'd have to sit her down and explain that Sam was probably leaving them as soon as they found Dad. But that conversation could wait.

"Do you want to see my wicked cool scar?" Meg offered, trying to ease the tension. "I look like the Terminator!" Sam smiled softly and nodded, so Meg rolled up the leg of her dungarees to show him.

"Just like the Terminator," Sam murmured, running a finger over the raised, pink scars. There were three, clearly claw marks, running up her shin. Eight years old and scarred by a monster. "You said Uncle Bobby'd been teaching you stuff. Hunting stuff?"

Meg shrugged one shoulder as she rolled the cuff back down. "Sometimes, but mostly other stuff. We've been readin' about myths and the Greeks and how the Egyptians made mummies. They pulled the brains out through their noses! We study a lot of history together, probably 'cos he was there when most of this stuff happened."

Dean snorted. "Maybe don't tell Bobby that, Goose." Meg just shrugged. "We got a few hours driving, you really should get some shut eye."

"But Dean..." Meg whined, shutting up when Dean shot her a look in the rearview mirror. She huffed, reaching for her blanket and stuffed dog toy, Patch - her best friend, really. She draped the red and black checkered blanket over her lap, leaning her head back against the seat. She was tired, but didn't want to go to sleep. She stifled a yawn.

"Sammy'll be here when you wake up," Dean said softly, as if he could read her mind. She smiled a little, closing her eyes as the thrum of the Impala's engine lulled her into sleep, as it had done her entire life.

_______

This case was different from the others they worked, Meg could tell. Their Dad wasn't in Jericho, in fact he'd packed up mid-hunt, leaving Sam and Dean tracking down something called a Woman in White. Then Dean had been arrested, Sammy drove the Impala into a house and nearly had his heart ripped out by a ghost.

Average day for a Winchester.

They were on the road again, and Meg had an awful, awful feeling they were taking Sam back to Stanford. She was in the front, squished between her brothers, her favourite place in the world. Dean's music was playing in the background, the familiar bass welcome in the otherwise silent car, Meg's head resting on Sam's shoulder.

"Do you have to go back?" she asked quietly, so quietly they almost hadn't heard her. Sam sighed softly, stroking her unruly curls away from her face.

"Yes, sweetheart, I do. I have an interview on Monday." he replied gently. Meg's lower lip quivered as she fought back tears. Both her arms were wrapped around Sam's large one, gripping the fabric of his jacket.

"Please don't leave us." She begged, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. Sam and Dean exchanged a look over her head. "Please."

"I'm sorry, Meg." Sam said, wrapping his arm around her. She buried herself in him, his scent, his Sam-ness, savouring it. "I... I have to. You'll be okay. Dean'll look after you." She knew that. That wasn't the problem.

"Everyone leaves," she mumbled into his shirt, and both boys knew she was talking about more than Sam.

"Don't worry," Dean said with more confidence than he felt. "It'll me and you again, like always. We'll find Dad together." Sam's heart twisted at Dean's words, with guilt and hurt. Was there a place for him in this family anymore? He knew Dean's words were meant to comfort Meg, that they weren't intended to hurt him. Or maybe Dean was pissed at him for going back, or for going to college in the first place, and they were meant to hurt, in which case, mission accomplished.

Sam looked down at Meg, the guilt eating at his heart. He knew what it was like. She'd grown up with the three Winchester's and a handful of other hunter's as family, the Impala as a home. Her mother had left, then Sam, and now Dad was missing too. He didn't know what to say. Couldn't offer her the comfort or reassurance she needed. So he squeezed her shoulder and pulled her in closer, savouring the feeling of her in his arms again.

_____

The smell of smoke was all around them, even though the fire had been put out. They'd hung around a while outside Sam's apartment, Meg dozing in the back seat, Dean watching the building closely. He hadn't been sure what he was even waiting for. Until he was. Until the flames erupted and he heard Sam scream.

Meg was tucked under Dean's arm where she was safest. She'd been crying, partly for Jess, even though she barely knew her, but mostly for Sammy. The small, selfish part of her that may have been glad Sam was coming with them now was muted by the empty look in his eyes, the grief on his face, the lingering tear tracks on his cheeks.

It wasn't fair, she thought crossly. Sam loved Jess. They'd seen her only three days ago. How could someone be gone so quickly?

Meg had tried to comfort Sam. But she didn't really know what to do or say. So she had stayed quiet while Dean held their brother, extending one hand to rest on Sam's knee, her own tears snaking down her face as she watched one of her heroes cry.

She knew enough about her brother's mom, her father's mission, to know Mary Winchester died similarly. That's what scared them the most. The monster was still out there, and the Winchester's weren't safe yet. Maybe they never would be.

Sam's grief began to give way to anger. His eyes hardened, body straightening, as he rifled through the Impala's trunk, surveying the weapons. His voice was sharp as he looked at Dean.

"We got work to do."

Thank you for reading!

Taglist - @podado-t-memes @ariesandwolves

(P.S. - I posted the first part to @/winchesterdefender first, then moved my writing onto this blog. If you requested to be tagged on winchesterdefender I have added you here - please message if I have missed you!)

[lightdancingwords]

One Day - Part Three of ?

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N Female character

Series Summary: You were rescued by Dean Winchester a long time ago. Over time, you kept bumping into each other.

Word Count: 2948

Tags/Warnings: Violence, profanity, angst, argument, monsters/supernatural, grief and death

A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! This story is AU as it does veer a bit from the history we see in Season 1 of Supernatural. There will be references to episodes and seasons, but it'll change as the chapters come. Enjoy the ride!

Dividers: credit to @talesmaniac89

Chapter Three: The Psychic of Missouri

Dean Winchester tightened his grip on the Impala’s steering wheel as he navigated through Lawrence, Kansas. Beside him, Sam shifted in his seat, restless. Dean was tense—returning to their childhood home dredged up memories he didn’t want to face. Yet, Sam had been persuasive in convincing him to come back due to some uneasy dreams.

Christ. Psychic dreams. His baby brother… was a fucking psychic. What the damn hell. God.

Still, he was happy to have Sam back, if not under ideal circumstances. John went on a hunt and went missing. Though it was more or less clear that John was choosing to avoid his sons, Dean was convinced something was wrong.

Sam had been reluctant to help out at first. That all changed when the same creature that killed their mother also killed Sam’s girlfriend, Jessica. Now both brothers were determined to find out why their father was avoiding them.

What Sam didn’t know was that Dean had been calling his father incessantly, leaving voicemail galore. Worst of all, John wasn’t responding. It was killing Dean that his father essentially abandoned them… again.

“Look, man, I don’t know what you’re expecting at this house,” Dean said to Sam, trying to convince his brother to drop this nonsense. He really, really didn’t want to see that house again.

“I know, Dean,” Sam said, fighting to explain it in a way Dean would understand or even just accept. “It’s just… we have to be there. Something’s wrong.”

Dean sighed, tapping his thumb on the steering wheel. “All right, fine.”

The Impala’s engine growled as Dean pulled up outside the house he once called home. He had a few small memories that he remembered outside of watching his mother burn on the ceiling. Some of them were actually nice, like the apple pies his mother made him. Her warm hugs. The way she’d touch his cheek.

His heart ached at remembering Mary. It’d been 22 years and the grief never left him. All the beer, all the women, all the hunts… it’d never leave him.

“All right… let’s go.”

Learning that Sam had been right about something off in their old house, learning from Sari that something was haunting the house, had not been on Dean’s bingo list. More, discovering that John consulted psychics galore to track down the who and what that killed Mary was another shock.

Just what the hell was John keeping from them? Except Dean knew he wouldn’t be able to confront his father, not really. That always had been Sam’s thing… and God, Dean envied him that strength.

Missouri… was an interesting woman. She clued in on Sam’s grief, scolded him for mentally cussing her out, and even threatened him with a spoon if he put his boots on her coffee table. Christ, he’d never been so spooked before and he faced a goddamned Wendigo.

Then the other surprise hit him in the face—at least, not literally this time.

“You can come in now,” Missouri said to someone just over her shoulder.

Sam and Dean looked up, confused. Then Dean’s eyes widened. He was about to say something when Missouri scolded him again.

“What did I say about swearing?”

Dean stopped, swallowed hard, and sat up straight. “Y/N… what are you doing here?”

Exasperated, Missouri rolled her eyes at Dean. “Lord help me, I don’t know where you get your manners. She’s here because she needed my help, same as you.”

Sam glanced back and forth between Y/N and Dean, confused. “I’m sorry, could someone fill me in?”

Y/N rolled her eyes at Dean, turned to Sam and offered her hand. “I’m Y/N. I met Dean a couple of years back. He helped save me from a vampire. Then a few months ago we bumped into each other again.”

Sam shook her hand. “So you’re another a hunter?”

“Yes—”

“No,” Dean said firmly. “She’s just playing at one.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at Dean. “That’s not what you said at the asylum.”

“Yeah, well, I changed my mind. You’re not a hunter. You should go back, go home, pretend none of this stuff happened,” Dean said, irritated.

Sam scoffed. “Yeah, right. Like we could forget everything that happened to us?”

Y/N nodded at Sam. That made Dean even more grumpy. “That’s not the point, Sam. Y/N’s only been in this shit for a couple of years. We’ve been in it our whole lives! She remembers what it’s like to be normal!”

The penny dropped for Y/N. Up until that moment, she hadn’t been sure what Sam was in this equation. Now she knew: he was Dean’s brother.

“So you lied to me,” Y/N said angrily. “You said you understood why I couldn’t go back.”

Dean scowled. Before he could say anything more, Missouri spoke up. “That’s enough out of you, all of you. We have business to attend to.”

Sam nodded. “Our old house. There’s something there. Something inside.”

Dean huffed. He was pissed. He was pissed and he was scared and God, he hated it. Sam was becoming increasingly weird. His father was avoiding them. And seeing that damned house….

Y/N glanced at him and something softened in her gaze. He wondered what she knew. He certainly didn’t tell her anything, but what if Missouri did? God…

Sam was relaying to Missouri what he sensed and dreamed. The older woman nodded and declared, “Let’s go see that house.”

“What about Y/N?” Dean asked, testy. He was so not having this.

“She can come with and don’t you sass me boy,” Missouri said, cutting off his protest. “This is a good learning experience for her. Plus, I think it’d help her solve her problem.”

Dean rolled his eyes. He was in Hell. Sam nudged him and pulled him close so they could talk quietly.

“Hey… what’s going on? What’s the big deal about Y/N?” Sam studied his older brother, the way he was clenching his jaw, evasive with his eyes.

Dean’s nostrils flared as he fought to keep his temper. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea she’s coming with. She’s practically a kid, Sam.”

Sam glanced over at Y/N, saw the way she carried herself. She was straight-backed and lean, with the measured movements of someone who learned to husband her energy.

“Is it true?” the younger Winchester asked.

Irritated, Dean scowled up at Sam. “Is what true?”

“That you accepted her being a hunter.”

More scowling. “Shut up, Sam. Let’s go.”

Seeing the Winchester house again so soon after their first visit must’ve been weird for Jenny, the new owner of the house. Missouri did everything she could to reassure the young mother, but Dean could tell Jenny was freaked.

Y/N on the other… While Missouri did her psychic crap, the young female hunter stayed quiet, looked around, even chatted up with Jenny.

So why the hell was Dean so mad? Well, that was unfortunately easy for him to understand. It was the house. It was seeing memories, ghosts of Christmas past.

He remembered his mother being upset with John on the phone and came over to reassure her that it would be okay. He’d hugged her, tried to take his mother’s heartache.

He’d been a goddamned child. He shouldn’t have had to do that, but he felt so responsible for them all.

Seeing Y/N in the midst of it was like a knife in the gut. He didn’t want her embroiled in any of this shit. Instead, she was, and he wanted to tear his hair out over it.

“You gonna tell me why you went to Missouri?” Dean asked, his voice low and rumbly. Y/N looked up and gave him a flat look. God, it should be a crime to look that hot while being coldly furious with him.

“I needed a psychic,” she said at last. “Missouri’s come up often when I looked into them. And she definitely nailed the issues I had before I even said them out loud.”

His smile was fleeting. Given how Missouri nailed Sam with the statement about his loss and got to Dean without him ever saying a word, he was inclined to believe Missouri was the one to talk to regarding the house’s history.

Missouri came back downstairs briskly. “There’s definitely some bad energy here. We got work to do.”

“What? Her too?” Dean asked in open exasperation regarding Y/N’s involvement.

He saw Y/N’s spine stuffed and was pleased at seeing her temper. Good. Maybe they could fight it out and it’ll turn into a make out session.

Missouri bopped him upside the head. “Act like a gentleman,” she said sharply. “I know your daddy didn’t teach you to be this rude.”

Dean cringed, rubbed his head and stared at Missouri. “I wasn’t doing anything!”

“But you were thinking it,” Missouri retorted. “Don’t tell me you didn’t think of that girl that way.”

He scowled at Missouri. Sam actually smirked as he came back to them. He liked seeing Missouri put Dean in his place, just a little bit. Dean scowled.

God. After this, he was going to want to drown a bit in beer and breasts. Maybe Y/N’s breasts. Then Missouri glared at him and he grabbed his libido and shoved it back into a box. He seemed to have to do that a lot when Y/N was around.

Y/N’s gaze shifted between Dean and Missouri and smirked. “Do I want to know?”

“I’d say something but she might smack me again,” Dean grumbled. He wanted to flirt. Something to distract himself. However, Missouri was putting a kibosh on all his favorite activities and distractions.

Her smile widened and her eyes sparkled. Y/N really had gorgeous eyes. He’d forgotten. “You’re scared of her. More scared than you were with the vampire or the ghost.”

“I’m not scared,” he protested.

“Uh huh.”

“I’m not!”

Y/N was laughing as she walked away. Damn, she had a nice ass.

It didn’t take much to convince Jenny to get her to take the kids out for a movie and give them time to cleanse the house of the stubborn poltergeist.

Seeing Y/N walk around his childhood home gave Dean a funny feeling, like his chest was being compressed. He didn’t like it. He honestly did not do well dealing with feelings. Like John, he just sat on it until he blew up.

He couldn’t do that this time. He couldn’t blow up, he couldn’t sit on it. It festered and gnawed at him. God, he couldn’t get out of the house fast enough.

Y/N kept looking at him and he twitched under her inscrutable gaze.

“What?!” he asked, snapping irritably.

Y/N shook her head and that made it worse.

“Then quit looking at me like that,” he said, grumpy as Missouri mixed whatever the hell it was they needed to cast the poltergeist out.

“Dean,” Sam said, trying to deflect and calm his brother.

“It’s all right, Sam,” Y/N said gently. She looked back at Dean. “It’s about your mom, isn’t it?”

Dean narrowed his eyes at her. “How the hell did you know that? Did Sam tell you?” God, if his baby brother blabbed, Dean was gonna punch him one.

Missouri rolled her eyes at the toxic display of machismo and kept on working. Her mix was almost ready.

“God, no,” Y/N said with exasperation in every breath. “I read up on it. I…” She glanced over at Missouri, then back at the brothers. “I’ve been doing a lot of research.”

“Great. Another book nerd.” She really was like a female Sam.

Y/N was undeterred. “Things about poltergeists and ghosts and how they connect to what’s left behind. Which meant reading about traumatic deaths, murders… unusual deaths.”

Comprehension dawned in Sam’s eyes. “And you found out about our mom.”

“Yes. I knew this was your home,” Y/N said gently.

Dean’s jaw clenched tightly.

“I went to Missouri for more information about spirits in particular. I guess I wanted to understand the afterlife or at least life after death,” Y/N said carefully.

Missouri looked up at Y/N and there was a look that read she knew more about Y/N’s motives than she was admitting. Dean saw it, knew it’d take a stallion or something to drag it out of the psychic.

“The Winchester fire and… what happened to your mother… came up in my reading,” Y/N said finally.

“So what do you think?” Sam asked curiously, like an eager puppy.

Y/N considered it. “It’s not your mom,” she said at last. “I think there’s another reason why there’s a poltergeist here. Maybe it was drawn to the violent death, drove out all the previous owners and tenants.”

Missouri quirked a brow. “Are you sure you’re not psychic too?”

“No offense, Missouri,” Y/N said with a weak smile. “I really hope not.”

“Same. You don’t wanna know what’s in that boy’s mind,” Missouri said with a nod to Dean.

Dean bristled, but kept quiet. Sam nudged him as if to convince him to talk, and Dean shoved him back hard. Sam laughed.

Y/N gave Dean a thoughtful look and somehow he felt naked in that moment. Not a good naked; the scary kind where he was 4 years old again and watching his mother die.

He cleared his throat and nodded. “Let’s go get to work,” he said roughly.

They thought it was over. Sam knew better. Despite Dean’s misgivings, the brothers—and Y/N—were camped out in the Impala. The initial cleansing worked, Dean insisted. Sam believed otherwise.

Y/N offered to come with because she was curious about them. Dean was super-irritated. Bad enough he had to help wrangle his brother free from a cord choking him, smash holes in the wall and dump Missouri’s poltergeist dust into the wall. Oh no, they had to come back and keep a watch out because Sam had a ‘feeling’.

So much beer after this.

Then they saw it: Jenny pounding on the upstairs window. The trio spilled out of the Impala running for the house. Dean had to kick in the door, barked an order for Sam and Y/N to grab Sari and Richie while he grabbed Jenny.

Dean got Jenny out quickly, only to realize Sam still hadn’t come back down. He was about to run up when Y/N came out with both kids.

“Where’s Sam?” he demanded from Y/N.

“He handed me Richie and told me to run,” Y/N said, breathless. “Dean, something has him!”

Dean wasted no more time. His father’s voice echoed in his head, ordering him to take Sam and run. He’d been tasked to keep his brother safe and by God, he would.

Y/N was right behind him. For once he was grateful to not face this alone.

Before they could regroup, a woman’s voice echoed through the room. “Leave them alone!”

The figure of Mary Winchester appeared, her presence radiant and protective. She stood between the trio and the poltergeist, her gaze fierce.

“Mom?” Dean’s voice was barely a whisper, his eyes wide with disbelief.

Mary didn’t look at him, her focus solely on the spirit. “You don’t belong here,” she said firmly. The poltergeist shrieked, its form twisting and writhing as Mary’s light engulfed it. With one final cry, it vanished.

The room fell silent. Mary turned to her sons, her expression softening. “Dean. Sam.”

Dean stepped forward, his voice breaking. “Mom?”

“You’ve grown so much,” she said, tears in her eyes. “I’m so proud of you both.”

Sam’s voice trembled. “Why are you here?”

Mary’s form began to fade. “To protect you. To protect them.” She glanced at them, her eyes full of love.

And with that, she was gone.

The silence in the room was deafening. Dean’s hands clenched into fists, his emotions warring within him. Sam placed a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder.

Y/N broke the silence. “We should check on Jenny and the kids.”

Dean nodded, his jaw tight. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

Missouri was waiting for them at her home that night. Her knowing eyes met Dean’s, and she nodded. “She did what she needed to do.”

Dean’s voice was rough. “She shouldn’t have had to.”

Missouri placed a hand on his arm. “Sometimes, love is stronger than anything else. Even death.”

Dean was mulling that as he walked Y/N to her car. Her vehicle was a Honda Elsment, compact but designed to use space well. “So… how much you wanna punch me?”

Y/N actually snorted. Absurdly, he found that appealing. “Earlier, I really wanted to.” Her gaze softened, just a bit. “Not so much after that.”

“I still don’t like you being a hunter. I’ll be honest. Don’t do it, Y/N.” Dean looked pained, “Go back to your life.”

”I can’t, Dean,” she said quietly. Damn it. She had that soft voice that just cut through him. “I can’t live in ignorance or pretend this isn’t happening.”

He shook his head. “You’re stubborn.”

“Back atcha, Winchester.”

He quirked a half smile. “First time we met, you kissed me. Second time, I let you walk away.”

Her brows swooped up and she smiled. “And the third time?”

He barely let her finish before he framed her face with his hands and captured her lips in a kiss. In the midst of it as he explored her mouth, tasted her, he felt her hands slide up his chest.

When he eventually broke the kiss, when he finally let her go, he smirked at her. “Can’t wait to see what happens when I see you again, Y/N.”

She let out a breath, her cheeks flushed. “What makes you so sure we’ll see each other again?”

He grinned. “Call it a hunch, sweetheart.”

Tag List: @spxideyver, @deadlymistletoe, @bitchykittenconnoisseur, @aarpfashionvictim, @stoneyggirl2

@foxyjwls007, @katastrophicmind, @globetrotter28, @deansimpalababy, @daisychaingirl

@nancymcl

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[wildwestdean]

impetus

summary: dean gets targeted by a witch while working a case, and she curses him to yearn for what he secretly loves the most. it seems to have no effect, until it's pointed out that he can't seem to stay away from you - but what happens when he tries to fight it?

pairing: dean winchester x female reader

word count: 9.4k+

warnings: violence, hunting/working a case, mentions of murders, gore, evil witches, reader and dean get attacked, swearing, alcohol consumption, angst, fluff, yearning, mutual pining, idiots oblivious to their own feelings, magical curses, hallucinations, nightmares, depictions of death, depictions of drowning, fighting/arguments, heart-to-heart, confessions, use of [y/n], nicknames, mature themes

“Right, well, this isn’t creepy at all,” Dean declared, rolling Baby to a stop before switching into park. 

You both sat quietly as you surveyed the desolate building, a feeling of unease washing over you. 

“Maybe we should wait for Sam,” you suggested half heartedly. He was only down at the Sheriff’s station, and it wouldn’t even take ten minutes for him to meet you here, but you knew Dean wouldn’t wait. 

“No,” he said, confirming what you already knew. “Someone else is missing and this is our best lead so far. If you don’t want to go in, that's fine, but I am.” 

“I’m not letting you go in there alone,” you snapped, sitting up as tall as you could despite the pit forming in your stomach. 

“Awe, you worried about me, sweetheart?” Dean teased, turning to look at you with a grin; one that was effectively wiped from his face when he saw the look in your eyes. “Hey, what is it?” 

“I don’t know,” you said honestly, shrugging lightly. “I just have a bad feeling about this.” 

“Bad feeling like what?” he questioned, his brows knitting together. 

You thought about it, trying to pinpoint what it was you felt, but you couldn’t. “Just…. don’t go wandering off,” you ended up saying- begging, more like. 

“Alright,” he agreed easily. “We stick together, and we’ll be in and out before you know it.” 

“Right,” you confirmed with a nod. “Let’s gear up.” 

You exited the car as quietly as you could, making your way around to the back as Dean unlocked the trunk and propped up the panel to the arsenal.

“You and Sam better be right about this,” he muttered, digging out the box of witch-killing bullets. 

Your mind raced through the details of the case: An exsanguinated priest, a dead nun with her tongue ripped out, the president of the high schools abstinence club found without a heart, and various livestock missing various body parts - if this wasn’t a witch, you were a little scared to find out what else it could be. 

“We have to be,” you breathed out, loading your ammo. 

“Can you do me a favour and sound at least a little confident?” he asked playfully, lightly nudging your arm with his own before tucking his gun into his jeans. 

“Sorry,” you said sheepishly, holstering your own gun. 

“It’s alright,” he said earnestly, handing you your favourite knife (one that used to be his before you claimed it as your own). “I’m just not used to seeing you so spooked.” 

You couldn’t help but chuckle quietly as you took the knife from him. “I’m not used to feeling spooked.” 

“We’ll make it through,” he consoled, closing up the trunk. “Just like we always do.” 

“Just like we always do,” you echoed with a nod, following him towards the building. 

The overgrowth brushed your calves as you made your way up the walk, and after a quick survey of the facade, Dean swung the door open after picking the lock. 

“Wait!” you hissed, stopping him before he entered. “Sam does know we’re here, right?” 

You watched as his shoulders shrugged before stepping inside. “Probably.” 

“That’s… comforting,” you sighed, following him across the threshold. 

The two of you did a quick preliminary sweep of the main level before making your way to the top floor, finding nothing of significance in any of the rooms. Making your way back down, you both stopped dead in your tracks as you heard a clatter come from beneath you. 

“Of course there’s a basement,” Dean whispered. “Why wouldn’t the creepy ass witch be in the creepy ass basement of this creepy ass house?” 

“How do you know she’s a creepy ass witch?” you teased, raising an eyebrow at him. “Maybe she’s hot. Or a guy. Or both.” 

He faltered over his response, considering your words for a moment. “I’ll bet whatever tab you drink up at the bar once we end up ganking this bitch. She’s creepy.” 

“Deal,” you grinned, wiggling your eyebrows at him. 

You both chuckled, before another noise from the basement drew your attention back to the case at hand. Dean awkwardly cleared his throat before leading the way in search of the basement entrance, using the occasional noise as guidance. 

“God, I hate witches,” he muttered to himself, slapping away cobwebs as he descended the stairs. 

“I don’t think the witch put those webs there,” you said with a snicker. 

“No, they’re just the one turning this rotting corpse of a house into a lair of evil and despair,” he hissed. 

You rolled your eyes in response, unable to stop the fond smile from creeping onto your face as you made it to the bottom of the stairs. 

A muffled cry caught your attention, and Dean spared you a quick look before running in the direction it came from, you hot on his heels. Coming up on a corner, he slowed to a halt and peered around the wall. 

“It looks clear,” he decided after a moment. “Just be careful,” he added, continuing on his way. 

Upon turning the corner, you were enveloped in the warm glow of candles, which would have been nice, had it not been for the rest of the scene. An altar lay at the far wall, burning candelabras stood in each corner of the room, and the very person you were searching for was bound and gagged in a chair in the middle of the room, surrounded by a circle of candles. 

Dean cursed and muttered under his breath, surveying the room. “I’ll get him, you get the altar.“

“Okay,” you agreed, running across the room. Once you reached the altar, you couldn’t help but stare in shock and disgust for a moment as you took in the sight; all the missing body parts seemingly staring back at you from where they lay soaked in blood. It took Dean shouting your name from across the room to bring you back to your senses, and you quickly upturned the altar as Dean instructed the now freed man to get out as fast as possible and wait by the car. As soon as the contents of the altar were scattered, an ear piercing shriek came from behind you. 

Quickly whirling on your heels, you were greeted by a cloaked figure, who seemingly came out of nowhere. 

“What have you done?” she screamed, dropping her hood as she stared daggers into you. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you feigned innocence. “Did I ruin your big plan?”

“You ruined everything!” she shrieked, slowly approaching you. “You’ll pay for this!” 

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Dean called out from behind her. 

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this?! How many centuries passed by until the circumstances were right? I had it! I had it all! I was one spell away from seeing my love again!” she continued to scream, advancing further towards you as she ignored Dean.

“Back off, Grunhilda!” Dean roared from behind her, drawing his gun. 

“No!” she shrieked, barely lifting her hand in order to easily swing his gun away - and stop you from drawing your own. “You stupid little gnat. You think you can just come in here and mess with things you don’t understand? You think you can take this from me?!” 

Her shouting was drowned out by the sound of your own heart pounding in your ears, your entire body feeling like it was on fire as your throat constricted, the air leaving your lungs and not returning. You felt your bones cracking beneath your skin as your feet left the floor, and you shared a look of terror with Dean before black began to cloud the edges of your vision. 

Without an effective weapon handy, Dean rushed the witch and tackled her to the floor, sending you crashing down. You met the concrete with a thud, and it knocked the rest of your senses out of you. You laid there for who knows how long, fighting off the waves of pain and nausea, willing yourself to move as you listened to the struggle happening a few feet away from you. 

By the time you managed to prop yourself up, Dean was pinned down as she advanced on him, and you desperately looked around for either of your guns. 

“Do you have any idea what it’s like?” you heard her ask, menace laced deep in her words. “To want something so desperately, to feel that desire within your very soul?!” 

Dean struggled against her hold as you struggled to pick yourself up, to at least crawl to a weapon if you had to.

“Well you will,” she sneered, cackling to herself. “You’ll know how it feels. To have what you want the very most to be so close to you, to have it at the edge of your fingertips, only to never be able to grasp it! For it to be the only thing you can think about!”

“Shut the hell up,” Dean seethed through clenched teeth, glaring at her. 

She only stepped closer towards him, cackling to herself. “Your strongest yearning, hidden deep in your heart, will nevermore be yours to part. Be it with sun or with rain, that which brings joy won’t be without pain.” 

“You finished yet?” Dean interrupted, before he had the wind knocked out of him, rendering him silent. 

Moving as quickly as you could without being noticed, you closed in on Dean’s pistol while the witch carried on. 

“Whatever you crave you cannot say, yet you’ll seek it out be it night or day,” she continued, hovering over him. “Consider yourself lucky, you useless toad. I’ve had countless lifetimes yearning to see my love again, and I’ll spend lifetimes more. At least you only have this one measly little life to yearn for what you want.” 

Grasping the gun in your hands, you carefully rose to your feet and steadied yourself to take aim. “Man, you really do talk too much,” you huffed out.

The shot rang out just as she turned towards you, though it was silenced by a roaring wind that accompanied a bright blue light. Within seconds, everything was calm and quiet again.

Fighting every urge you had to collapse back onto the floor, you trudged your way over to Dean in an attempt to help him up. 

“God, I told you she’d be creepy,” he gasped out, groaning as he stood. 

“You want a prize?” you asked incredulously, staring up at him. 

“I wanna get the hell out of here,” he said, ushering you to take leave. “Then I want those drinks you owe me.” 

After what felt like another entire day, you and Dean had dropped the victim off at the hospital, patched each other up, cleaned out the basement, showered, and filled Sam in on everything that went down. 

“So… she cursed you?” Sam asked curiously, trying to understand. 

“I dunno. She tried to, I guess,” Dean replied nonchalantly. “But [Y/N/N] put a bullet in her. No witch, no curse, right?” 

Sam shared a brief look with you, before turning back to Dean. “Yeah, but… there was no body.” 

“What?” Dean asked gruffly. 

“The witch,” you said. “I shot, but she vanished. What if she isn’t dead?” 

“Well, I feel normal, so I’m gonna say she’s dead,” Dean declared with a shrug. “Now, can we head to the bar? I’m in desperate need of a drink… or twelve.” 

Without waiting for an answer, he quickly stood and donned his jacket before looking back at you and Sam. “You guys coming or what?” 

“Oh, do I have a choice to not go?” you asked playfully.

“You can stay if you want, but your wallet comes with me,” he replied, smiling innocently. 

“Alright, let’s go,” you said with a dramatic sigh, grabbing your own jacket. 

Not long after, the three of you were sliding into a booth in the nearest dive, enjoying the lack of people; you guys seriously needed to decompress. 

“Alright, I’ll be back,” you declared, hopping out of the booth to get the first round of drinks. 

“Make sure you get a tab started!” Dean jokingly called after you. 

You flipped him off in response, taking a seat at the bar after placing your order. While you waited, Sam watched as Dean grew more restless in his seat. 

“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” he finally asked, eyeing Dean as he fidgeted anxiously. 

“What?” Dean asked cluelessly, glancing around the bar. “I’m thirsty. She’s been gone for what, like, half an hour?” 

“It’s… barely been two minutes, Dean,” Sam informed him with an amused grin.  

“Yeah, well. I want my beer,” Dean mumbled, tapping his fingers on the table as he glanced around once more. “I’m gonna go see if she needs help.”

Before Sam could even reply, Dean was already halfway across the bar, meeting you just as you got your final drink. 

“Need a hand?” Dean asked cheerfully, his sudden appearance making you jump. “Sorry,” he added with a snicker. 

“Dick,” you muttered with a laugh, hopping down from the stool. “Here you go,” you added, handing him his beer.

“Awesome,” he beamed, taking the bottle from your outstretched hand. 

He followed closely as you made your way back to the table, handing Sam his drink before sliding into the booth; Dean followed suit, leaving you nestled in between him and the wall. 

The three of you had a few more rounds before Dean slipped away, determined to teach a lesson to the arrogant ass harassing players around the pool tables - just because you didn’t need to hustle people anymore didn’t mean it wasn’t still fun every now and then. You watched him fondly, laughing quietly to yourself as you watched him fumble around with his cue before making a terrible break. Harder than it looks, you could just hear him say. 

Your attention was turned back to Sam when he cleared his throat, and you were met with his questioning gaze. “Does he seem weird to you?” 

“Weird how?” you asked, face scrunched in confusion. 

“I don’t know, strange,” he replied with a small shrug. “Like- like antsy or something.” 

Your eyes flit back across the room to Dean, who was very much in his element as he upped his ante, before focusing on Sam again. “I haven’t noticed anything, Sammy.” 

He sighed in resignation, seeming to already know that would be your response. “It’s probably nothing, just forget I said anything,” he replied, shaking his head dismissively before finishing his drink. 

“If you say so,” you muttered quietly, sipping your drink as you cast a worried gaze across the bar, getting lost in thought.

By the time you each finished another round of drinks, Dean made his way back over to the table; much to the surprise of you and Sam. 

“Done so soon?” Sam questioned, raising an eyebrow at his brother. 

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged, sliding back into the seat beside you.

“But you only played one round,” you said quizzically. 

“So?” Dean wondered, gulping down the rest of his beer. 

“So, you usually play a lot more than that,” Sam pitched in, shifting his gaze between you and Dean. 

Dean sighed, his bottle clanging on the table as he set it back down. “Why am I getting the third degree here? I played a game, he learned his lesson, I got over it. End of story.”

“Okay, grouchy,” you snickered, ruffling his hair a little just because you knew he hated it. Except he really did love it when it was you doing it.

“Whatever, anyone want another round?” he asked with a huff, lightly swatting your hand away. 

“No, I’m gonna call it a night,” you admitted, shifting to slip your jacket back on. 

“Yeah, me too,” Sam declared, starting to stand from the table. 

Dean stood as well, assumingly just to let you out. “Alright, let’s go.”

You and Sam both stilled in your movements at his response, sharing a shocked look with each other. “You’re… coming with us?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked with a scoff, shrugging his jacket on as he looked questioningly between you and Sam. “Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you guys?”

“We just didn’t expect you to call it a night so early,” Sam explained helplessly. “Gettin’ old, huh?” he added, trying to lighten the mood a little. 

“Yeah, I mean, you barely even wracked up a tab!” you declared with a laugh, before grinning mischievously. “Drinks just don’t agree with you anymore, do they, old man?”

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, fixing his collar just to busy his hands. “Okay, alright, one more wisecrack and I’m leaving you both here.” 

Despite the finality in his tone, the amusement dancing in his eyes gave him away - as did the hand he extended to you to help you slide from the booth. 

“Whatever you say, grandpa,” Sam teased, patting Dean on the shoulder before walking away with laughter in his wake. “I’ll be outside!”

You chuckled in response, and the stern look Dean gave you only made you laugh even more. “Yeah, yeah. Hurry it up, chuckles,” he chided, wiggling his fingers at you. He surveyed the bar as you finally took hold of his hand, sliding out from your seat with ease and standing before him. “Ready?” he asked, gaze turning back to look down at you. 

“Yeah, I just gotta go pay,” you replied, nodding your head in the direction of the bar counter. 

“Alright,” he said with a nod. He gave your hand a squeeze, though instead of letting go like he normally would, he held it firmly as he led the way across the bar. 

You followed along quietly, trying your hardest to not read too much into it. Though when you stood before the bar and he had yet to release your hand, you gave him a puzzled look. “Did you wanna go get the car?” you asked hesitantly. 

He looked confused for a moment, as if he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on either, before he cleared his throat with a curt nod. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll meet you out there. Don’t take too long,” he rushed, giving your hand another fleeting squeeze before shuffling away. 

Strange, you thought briefly, before shifting your attention to the bartender before you. 

As you paid the tab, Dean settled into the driver's seat of Baby, and Sam watched him impatiently drum his fingers against the wheel as he hummed along to whatever song was in his head; and he couldn’t help but snort a laugh as Dean checked his watch one, two, three times since getting into the car. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Sam chided with a laugh, shaking his head. 

“What?” Dean inquired, annoyance clear in his voice. 

“Dude, please tell me you see what’s going on,” Sam pleaded. 

Dean widened his eyes in confusion, glancing around the near empty parking lot before looking back at his brother. “What’s going on?” 

Before Sam could reply, their attention was caught by the opening of the bar’s door when you emerged from the building, a grin forming on your face as you caught sight of them waiting in the car. 

Dean matched your grin, quickly reaching for the door handle and scrambling outside. “There she is!” he greeted happily, opening the back door for you. 

“Fucking idiot,” Sam muttered to himself, staring out the window with an amused grin as you and Dean settled into your seats. 

The three of you made it back in no time, and, having to settle for a single bed when first getting to town over driving for another who-knows-how-long just to find another motel, shuffled out of the car and into your shared room with heavy feet.

“Finally,” Dean muttered with relief, shutting the door behind him as Sam took a seat. “Whoa, whoa,” Dean barked, holding up a hand. “What’re you doing?” 

Sam froze just as he sat on the bed, staring up at his brother. “What?” 

“That’s my bed,” Dean declared with a huff. 

“No, it’s not,” Sam answered with a scoff. “It’s your turn for the couch.” 

“Dude, I’m not sleeping on the pull-out!” Dean declared with finality.

“What, are you kidding me?” Sam asked incredulously. “You got the bed last time!” 

“Yeah, and I just got ragdolled by a crazy ass witch, I deserve a mattress!” Dean argued, stepping towards the bed. “Get up.” 

“No,” Sam argued stubbornly, relaxing further atop the sheets. 

“You guys are ridiculous,” you said with an exasperated sigh, walking across the room. “I’ll take the couch.” 

“Not a chance,” Dean denied, not even sparing you a glance. 

“What, why?” you asked in confusion. 

“First of all, I’m not sharing with Sam,” Dean replied, turning to look at you. “Second, you got it worse than I did. I’m not shoving you on a pull-out.” 

“Oh, please-” you started to argue, before he cut you off. 

“I patched you up myself, [Y/N]. Don’t bother trying to lie to me,” he cautioned. 

You opened your mouth to argue once more, but the look on his face stopped you short. “Whatever,” you mumbled, turning towards the bathroom. “I’m getting ready for bed. Figure this out before I get back so I can actually go to bed, please.” 

The bickering resumed as you quickly retreated, shutting the bathroom door on Dean’s disgruntled declaration of “best two out of three.”

By the time you re-entered the room, you were met with silence. Surveying the surroundings, you found Sam digging through his toiletries bag while sitting in his original spot on the bed. Your gaze snapped over to the couch, where Dean sat looking like a kicked puppy. 

“You went with scissors again, didn’t you?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

He met your gaze as Sam snickered behind you, causing his face to sour even more. “Shut up,” he mumbled before standing, bristling past you with slumped shoulders. 

You chuckled quietly to yourself and grabbed the spare sheets, quickly making up the pull-out for Dean while he got ready; hopefully he’d be a little less cranky about it all if this was at least already done. 

Once finished, you made your way over to the bed and curled up under the covers. After saying a quick goodnight to Sam, you were asleep before Dean even left the bathroom. 

Fear gnawed at Dean, his body frozen in place as a cold spread through him, panic clinging to him like ice. He tried to call out to you, but all that left him was a strangled breath as his lungs seized up. He watched as the waves carried you away, further and further from where he stood. By the time his legs finally moved to carry him closer to shore, his feet were so heavy it was as though he was wading through quicksand. 

“No, no, no,” he pleaded quietly, watching as the waters edge never grew near no matter how far he ran. 

Your voice cried out to him, surging him forward even faster as you drifted ever outwards, terror seeping deeper into his bones with every futile step he took.

He couldn’t reach you. 

He couldn’t save you. 

The realisation that you were gone caused his world to come crashing down around him as he fell to his knees. A roaring filled his ears, and he didn’t know whether it was the irascible water that held you captive or the blood racing from his pounding heart. 

As he stayed there - watching the crashing waves for any sign of you, listening for a call of his name, unwilling to move for fear he’d miss you - the water suddenly crept up around him, as if to mock him. 

The sky darkened as he let out an anguished cry, his voice blending in with the storm beginning to brew around him. Yet despite the deafening howls, he heard it clear as day: your voice, calling out to him.  

“Dean.”

The world stilled around him once more, your voice ringing out in a whisper as gentle as the wind. 

“Dean.” 

He stood, frantically searching the horizon for you. He tried to call out, yet his voice still never came. 

“Dean!” you called out, voice booming like thunder from above. 

A small hand gripped his own, pulling him so forcefully he was yanked off his feet. He let out a startled cry, a spark of lightning igniting so brightly before him that he screwed his eyes shut. 

“God dammit, Dean!” 

Another force shook him, and when we reopened his eyes, he was met with the suspiciously stained ceiling of the motel room. He bolted upright, heart hammering against his chest as he looked around. He caught your worried gaze as he wiped the sweat from his brow, trying to steady his breathing as you leaned in closer. 

“[Y/N?]” he gasped out, pushing himself further upright.

His hand reached out automatically, fingers tentatively brushing against your cheek as if to evaluate your solidity. When he was satisfied that you wouldn’t evaporate, he surged forward to wrap you in a desperate embrace; the icy grip of terror finally starting to melt. 

“It was just a nightmare, De,” you soothed quietly, tracing a hand along his back. “Everything’s alright.”

“Yeah,” he said tightly, swallowing the lump forming in his throat as he let you go. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m alright, get back to bed.” 

“You’re okay?” you questioned, concern laced in both your face and tone of voice. 

“I’m okay,” he affirmed with a nod, casting his gaze aside so you wouldn’t see the panic still swirling within him. 

“Okay,” you said softly, placing a gentle kiss upon the crown of his head before standing from the edge of the pull-out. 

Dean got up after you to grab a glass of water, his heart jumping in his chest as he remembered the sight of you being ripped away by the current. 

“Just a nightmare,” he reminded himself under his breath. “Just a nightmare.” 

Not having slept another wink after his nightmare, Dean was unsurprisingly the first one up the next morning. Taking it upon himself to get breakfast for the three of you, he found himself at the nearest diner waiting for his order. 

Drumming his fingers impatiently on the sticky linoleum counter, a burning desire to call you began to build within him. Knowing you were likely still sleeping, he decided to busy himself with a stupid game you downloaded on his phone. 

Yet the urge to reach out to you grew tenfold as he sat there, a sinking feeling that it might mean you were in danger starting to take hold of him. Just as his mind began to swirl with questions of what the hell was going on with him, he heard your voice calling his name. 

His head snapped up, expecting to see you sliding onto the stool beside him, ready to give you hell for walking here in search of him all by yourself in a random town. He figured you must’ve known he was here, and it wouldn’t have been a far walk from the motel, but it was still stupid.

Though the words died on his tongue as he realized you weren’t there, and that familiar feeling of dread trickled through him after scanning the diner and not finding you anywhere. 

Another voice called out, this time the waitress, announcing that his order was ready. He met her smiling face with nothing but confusion, her smile faltering for a moment.

“Everything alright?” she asked hesitantly.

“Huh?” he asked, before snapping out of his daze. “Oh, yeah. Just a little too early for me. Thanks-” he paused, squinting to read her name tag. “Thanks, Edna,” he charmed, flashing his signature grin as he gathered the order. 

“Anytime, sugar,” she charmed, her smile perking back up as she sent him a wink. 

With one last - albeit awkward - grin sent her way, Dean quickly left the diner; already feeling lighter for knowing he’d be back at the motel soon. His grin only grew when he glanced across the street and caught a glimpse of you staring back at him, proving that he wasn’t crazy and you really did come to meet him. 

He took a step forward, intending to call out to you, when a truck drove by and blocked you from sight. The grin was wiped from his face and the coffee tray nearly slipped out of his hand when he noticed you had completely disappeared in its wake. 

Fearing the worst once more, he scrambled into the car and quickly called you, firing Baby to life as the line rang. 

“Hey,” you answered with a stifled yawn. “Please tell me you’re getting breakfast. And coffee.” 

“Yeah, I-” he faltered in his response, having to let out a breath of relief as he realized you were safe and sound. “I’ll be back in a few, you and Sammy still there?” 

“Where else would we be?” you asked with a giggle. 

While the sound would normally bring a smile to his face, your words only caused a frown to appear. “You only waking up now?” 

“Don’t judge me,” you teased. “It’s only… ten after seven, I barely slept in.” 

“Just not used to being up before you,” he lied, knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. 

“Miracles really do happen,” you joked with a laugh. “You sound weird, is everything okay?” you added, worry tinting your voice. 

“Hm?” he wondered, not processing your question right away. “Oh, no- yeah, I-... just didn’t get much sleep.”

“Right,” you said, teetering on the edge of believing him or not. 

“Really, I’m good,” he assured, sensing your apprehension. “I just gotta catch some z’s and I’ll be good as new.” 

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few then,” you relented. “Drive safe,” you added as an afterthought before hanging up.   

The line went dead as he stopped at a red light, his stomach churning as he stared at his reflection in the rearview.

“Just need some sleep,” he assured himself. 

“Dude, would you quit it with the pacing?” Sam snapped, setting his book down on the table for sheer lack of concentration. 

Dean stopped just long enough to stare daggers at his brother before marching down the library once more. “She’s been gone too long.” 

“She’s been gone an hour,” Sam informed, hands running over his face in exasperation. 

“Exactly,” Dean replied, pointing a finger at Sam in acknowledgment. “Something must’ve happened.” 

“Dude, she’s at the grocery store. With Jack. What the hell could possibly happen?” 

“I don’t know!” Dean exclaimed, arms flailing as he whirled to face Sam. “Something must’ve! She hasn’t answered my last text and it’s been-” he paused, pulling out his phone to brandish the screen. “Seven minutes!” 

“Oh, my god,” Sam groaned, tossing his head back to stare at the ceiling. “I can’t deal with this anymore.” 

“What are you talking about? Aren’t you worried?” Dean asked gruffly. 

“No, Dean, I’m not worried! There’s no reason to be worried!” Sam proclaimed. 

“No reason? She could be dead!” Dean barked, his face taking on an expression of disbelief. 

Sam sighed as he leaned over the table, raising his eyebrows. “Okay, let me ask you this: why, exactly, do you think she’s dead?” 

“Oh, come on, Sam!” Dean grumbled. “We don’t exactly live cookie cutter lives here, you know. One minute she’s returning the shopping cart, and the next she’s got a damn knife in her back!” 

“Dean,” Sam soothed. “You know as well as I do that’s a load of crap.” 

“No,” Dean argued, shaking his head. “We don’t know that. We don’t know anything, you know why?” 

Before Sam could even respond, Dean waved his phone around before dropping it on the table. “Because she won’t answer her damn phone!” 

“Okay, this is actually ridiculous,” Sam declared. “How can you seriously not see what’s been happening to you?” 

“Knock it off, Sam,” Dean muttered, waving a hand dismissively as he began pacing again. “I’m fucking fine.” 

“You’re fine,” Sam repeated incredulously. “You’re friggin’ cursed, Dean!” 

“I’m not cursed!” shouted Dean. “Would you quit it with that crap?” 

“Right, because nothing’s been going on with you lately, right?” 

“Right!” Dean agreed with a huff. 

“You haven’t been, say, I don’t know…. not sleeping? Feeling stir crazy? Getting paranoid?”

“Sam-” 

“No, I’m serious, Dean! How can you not see this?” 

“Because I’m fine!” Dean argued, stalling his movements to gather his phone from the table.

After a few moments of silence, Dean rolled his eyes and found himself once more walking the length of the library. “Okay, maybe I’ve been feeling a little weird lately, but I’ve just been tired - and you know what? I survived worse. So yeah, I’m fine!” 

“Right,” Sam said sceptically.  “And have you… noticed when it is that you feel… weird?”

“I don’t know!” Dean announced frustratedly.

“Dean,” Sam chastised. 

“What?” 

“You’ve been feeling like this all week, and it’s only getting worse. You’ve been like this since that witch cursed you - and don’t say she didn’t. Use your fucking head, Dean! You’re cursed!” 

Dean’s jaw clenched as he tried to remain calm, taking a moment to formulate his response. “You’re insane,” he finally declared. 

“I think you’re the insane one,” Sam contested. “You were cursed to yearn for something, Dean. Only in this case… it’s someone.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

“C’mon, Dean!” Sam pleaded with a laugh. “The only time you get like this is when you’re more than ten feet away from [Y/N].” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean muttered dismissively. 

“You’ve checked your phone another five times since you picked it up.” 

“So?” Dean questioned, failing to resist the urge to check it once more. “I’m worried, not cursed.” 

“You’re worried because you’re cursed!” Sam argued. 

“I’m worried because I lo-” Dean quickly fell silent as the words died on his tongue, his brain firing into total overdrive as he laughed nervously. “I care, that’s why I’m worried.” 

Sam stared at his brother in total disbelief, trying to find a way to make him realize what was going on- or, most likely, acknowledge what was going on. 

Yet before the conversation could go any further, the bunker door screeched open and the sound of your laughter fleeted down to greet Dean, effectively turning his scowl into an affectionate grin. 

“Hope you remembered my pie!” he called out, marching to meet you at the foot of the stairs without so much as a glance back in Sam’s direction. 

“When have I ever forgotten?” you asked, feigning offence as you held out the bag which contained his pie.

“Well,” he started, taking the bag from you. “There was that time in Redford-”

“Hey!” you interrupted with a laugh. “I didn’t forget, they were out!”

“See, I still don’t believe you,” he teased, heading for the kitchen. 

“Believe whatever you want, Dean,” you replied playfully. 

“I’m still waiting for it, you know. You should get me two next time,” he joked, though he was partly serious. 

“Dean?” Sam’s voice tentatively called out.

“Yeah?” Dean replied hotly, keeping his back to Sam as he went to grab a beer from the fridge. 

“Who, uh… who the hell are you talking to?” he asked carefully, surveying the empty kitchen. 

“Hilarious, Sam,” he said dryly, shutting the fridge. “I’m talking to-”

His mouth ran dry as he turned around, being met with just his brother, who was staring with concern from the doorway. 

“[Y/N],” Dean finished weakly. 

“Her and Jack aren’t back yet, Dean,” Sam said carefully, as though talking to a lost child. 

“Yes, they are. They got back, she gave me my pie, we came in here,” Dean said fiercely, his confidence shattering when he went to gesture at the pie he set down moments earlier and found it to be gone.  

“Maybe you should sit down,” Sam suggested, not knowing what to do. 

“I’m fine!” Dean shouted, hovering over the counter. “I’m fine,” he repeated, moreso to himself than anything. 

“Okay, look, how about I try calling [Y/N], okay?” Sam offered, hesitantly walking further into the kitchen. “See when they’ll be back.” 

“They are back!” Dean barked, glaring at Sam. “She was just in here!” 

Sam didn’t know what to say, the fear and concern for his brother crashing down on him. 

“She was just in here,” Dean repeated shakily, meeting Sam’s gaze with confusion. 

“Dean,” Sam started to say, before the familiar tone of your ringtone came from Dean’s phone, cutting through the air like a knife. 

Dean pulled the phone from his pocket, clearing his throat before answering. “Yeah?” 

“Dean, thank god,” you cheered, sighing in relief. “Listen, we came out to a flat tire and I don’t have a spare because I forgot to fucking replace it and there are too many people around for Jack to, you know, try fixing it,” you rambled anxiously. “Can you please come help?” 

“You’re still at the store?” Dean clarified, looking up at Sam with frightened eyes. 

“Yeah, we’re stuck in the parking lot,” you told him breezily. 

“Okay,” he said, swallowing thickly. “Alright, I’ll be right there.” 

“Thanks, De!” you said happily, ending the call. 

Dean stood there for a few moments staring down at his unopened bottle of beer on the counter, trying to gather his thoughts, before finally lifting his gaze to Sam.

“I’ll, uh…. I’ll be back,” he told him, not waiting for a response before trudging out of the kitchen.

You found yourself yet again rushing down the hall to Dean’s room, his muffled yells waking you in the dead of night once more. 

He uttered your name as you shut the door behind you, and though it took you by surprise the very first time it happened - nearly two weeks ago, now - it was something you’ve almost come to expect. It was killing you, watching him go through this every night and not being able to fix it. You would sit with him, find ways to gently rouse him from his terror filled slumber and comfort him when he woke, but it never seemed like enough; he deserved more.

At first you didn’t think there was too much going on, figuring his shift in behaviour was just due to his lack of sleep. You didn’t believe Sam when he talked to you about it; Dean may have been acting a little more strange than usual, but it didn’t raise any red flags.

It wasn’t until the morning following your conversation that you noticed it, cluing in and realising how different Dean had been; how long he’d been different. The excess text messages, the increase in phone calls, the insistence on you not going anywhere without him and his exuberant reactions to you getting back safe when you did go somewhere without him, his constant questioning on where you were or where you’ve just been. Something else was going on, and you could only think it really did come down to the witch you two encountered.  So you and Sam called up Rowena, getting her take on the situation and figuring out what to do. 

Her words now echoed through your head as you perched yourself on the edge of his bed: “Magic isn’t simple. Some curses are anchored by the witch, ending whenever they were to die. But others are more complex, rooted not in the witch but the object of the curse itself, not breaking until their purpose is carried out one way or another. Perhaps if you can figure out what it is Dean needs, you can break the curse yourselves. If this carries on for any longer… I’m worried it will kill him.” 

While you ran your fingers through his hair, you decided right then and there that once he woke up, you wouldn’t leave without confronting him about it. You knew it would likely start a fight, and you felt a little guilty knowing you would all but interrogate him right after having another nightmare, but all that guilt flew right out the window the second Dean startled himself awake, the sight of his panic stricken face as he gasped for air nearly bringing you to tears; you’ve seen him like this too often as of late. 

“It’s alright, Dean,” you soothed, reaching out to him. “I’m right here, everything’s fine.” 

His gaze snapped to you, unable to hide the confusion and terror still coursing through him despite the relief he felt. “[Y/N]?” 

“Yeah, De,” you cooed, running a hand across his shoulder blades. “We’re in your room, everyone’s okay.” 

He let out a shuddering breath, hanging his head in his hands. “You’re okay,” he whispered softly. “You’re okay.” 

You sat quietly with him for a few more minutes, patiently comforting him as best as you could while you thought of how to approach this conversation. 

Clearing his throat, Dean was the first to speak again as he rose from the bed. “Sorry I woke you again.” 

The dejection and shame laced in his voice tore your heart to bits, and you had to put up a good fight to keep your emotions in check. “You don’t need to apologize.” 

“Yeah, I do,” he disagreed, trudging to his sink in the corner. 

“Dean, please talk to me,” you pleaded, watching as he turned on the water. 

You fell silent, waiting for him to deny you and brush you off again. You waited for him to say something, to do something, but all he did was stare at the running water. 

“Dean?” you asked cautiously, slowly getting up from the bed yourself. 

“I can’t save you,” he muttered quietly, his gaze on the faucet unyielding. 

“What?” you asked curiously, not knowing what he meant. 

“I can never save you,” he carried on. “You always just… slip away from me. Every time. It’s always the same.” 

“What’s always the same?” you questioned, moving closer towards him. 

“I try,” he muttered, seemingly oblivious to your presence. “I run, and I fight, and I try, but I can never reach you. I can never get to you.”

He seemed to snap out of his daze a little, moving to splash water over his face before turning off the tap. “You keep dying. I keep watching you die. I can’t watch you die again, [Y/N]. I can’t.” 

“This is what your nightmares have been?” you wondered. 

He fell silent again for a minute before meeting your gaze in the mirror. “Yeah.” 

“It’s not real, Dean,” you told him softly.

“It’s real enough for me,” he muttered, turning to face you. 

“And is this why you’ve been… acting differently towards me?” you asked hesitantly. 

He averted his gaze, hanging his head as he considered your question. “I guess,” he said with a shrug. “Maybe, yeah. I don’t know.” 

“Dean,” you scolded with a sigh, plopping back down on the bed. “Why won’t you just tell me what’s going on?” 

“Because everything’s fine!” he argued once again. 

“I’m not stupid, Dean!” you challenged. “I know you. I can see something's eating you alive and it’s fucking killing me to witness it. So please, tell me what the hell is going on.” 

“It’s just nightmares,” he lied, crossing his arms against his chest. 

“It’s more than nightmares!” you cried. “You’re withering away into nothing, Dean! I mean let’s face it! You’re practically a zombie nowadays with how little sleep you get, you’ve been acting like a puppy with separation anxiety, and let’s not forget how completely erratic you’ve been.”

He glared at you, jaw clenching as he decided whether or not to entertain this conversation. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t slept lately,” he admitted starkly. “But like I keep saying, I’m fine.” 

“Don’t you ever get tired of lying?” you sneered, glaring up at him. 

He rolled his eyes, averting his gaze to anywhere else as he shook his head. “No, but I’m getting tired of having this conversation all the time.” 

“Well too bad!” you yelled, abruptly standing from the bed. “Cause I’m tired of never having this conversation go anywhere! I’m tired of you brushing off the idea of you being cursed. I didn’t believe it at first either, but what the hell else could it be, Dean?” 

“Oh, come on!” he barked, running a hand over his face. “I see Sam got his hooks into you.” 

“Yeah, he did. And you need to listen to us.” 

“No, I really don’t,” he scoffed, starting to head to the door. 

“Even if it kills you?” you blurted out. 

“It’s not gonna kill me!” 

“God, look at you, Dean! It already is!” you argued, marching closer to him. “How would you feel if the situation were reversed?” 

He let out a sigh, pausing with his hand on the doorknob before turning back to you. “What?” 

“What if it were me going through all this instead of you? Would you let me get away with not even listening to you and Sam?” 

He narrowed his eyes at you, staring at you in silence for so long you expected him to turn away again. Instead, he let out a deep breath as he took a seat, gesturing for you to carry on. “Five minutes.” 

You almost went to argue before you thought better of it, knowing full well that if Dean never came around to the theory he would actually cut you off at the five minute mark. So, you did your best to recount the entire situation for him, reiterating what you, Sam, and Rowena had to say about it all in the hopes of getting through to him. By the time you finished, you knew it was well over five minutes, so you took Dean not interrupting you to be a good sign. 

“Okay,” he finally said with a small nod. “Well, I listened. Can I go now?” 

Your heart dropped to your stomach, anger and fear bubbling inside of you as you exploded. “God, you are unbelievable!”

“Well what do you want me to say?” he grumbled. “I just don’t believe that’s what’s going on.” 

“How can you not believe it?” you asked incredulously. “It’s obvious!” 

“Look, I said I don’t believe it, alright?” Dean snapped. “Why are you so hellbent on making this into some big fight? Just accept it.” 

“No!” you seethed. “I can’t just accept the fact that this could kill you. Especially not when there’s a way we could end this.” 

“No,” he disagreed, shaking his head. “You can’t fix this, [Y/N/N]. You just can’t.” 

“I can!” you cried. “Just tell me.” 

“Tell you what?” 

“You know what,” you scolded. 

“This is so fucking ridiculous.” 

“Tell me anyway.” 

“Why the hell do you care so much?” he questioned exasperatedly. 

“Because I’m fucking terrified, Dean!” you exclaimed. “I’ve watched you grow more restless and anxious every day since the night we finished that case. I’ve seen the life drain from you more and more as sleep became nearly impossible for you. And I know it’s nearly impossible for you, because I have spent the last eleven nights sitting on that bed as you got terrorised by your own mind. I don’t care if you believe in this curse or not, Dean, because I do.” 

Dean stood quietly, absorbing what you said as the severity of the situation began to dawn on him. 

“I mean don’t you get it?” you asked sadly, cutting through the silence. “If something happens to you, if I lose you… that’s not something I can come back from.” 

Dean fell silent once more, running a hand through his hair as he took a deep breath, pacing around the room a little as he turned everything over in his head. 

“I’m scared, Dean,” you reiterated softly. “Please, just let us try to fix this.” 

“There’s some things I should tell you, then,” he admitted quietly after a moment of silence, taking a seat on the bed. 

“About what’s been happening?” you asked hopefully. 

He nodded, staring down at his hands folded in his lap. “Yeah.” 

“Okay,” you said, moving his desk chair to take a seat. “I’m listening.” 

He took a bracing breath, taking a few minutes to build the courage to speak. “Well, you know I’ve been having nightmares.” 

“I do,” you agreed quietly. 

“It’s always the same one,” he admitted, keeping his gaze cast downwards. “I could never figure out why. It didn't make sense to me why it was always the same thing. So I finally talked to Sam about it, and he had a pretty good theory. But, you know me. I didn’t want to believe it because it came back down to that witch and this stupid fucking curse.” 

He let out a bitter laugh, pausing long enough for you to speak up. “What did he have to say about it?” 

“I tried telling myself I was fine,” he continued, ignoring your question. “I was fine, at first. At first it was just not sleeping well… but then other things started happening.” 

“Other things like what?” you wondered quietly. 

“Like my blood feeling like it’s on fucking fire,” he muttered, wiping at his face. “And my skin feeling like it-… like it’s being peeled off my goddamn bones, and my face feeling like it’s melting… and how I get this- this bubble inside my chest that feels like it’s either gonna burst or suffocate me and how it all only happens-” he stopped in his rambling, taking a deep breath before chuckling in disbelief. “God, it only happens when you’re not around, [Y/N].” 

“I-... what do you mean?” you asked breathlessly. 

“Oh, come on, [Y/N],” he said bitterly. “I know you’ve noticed. I text you more, I’m almost always calling you. I just- I get this… this unwavering panic inside me when you’re not around. I keep-... I swear to god I see you everywhere when you’re gone. I catch sight of you across the street, I smell your stupid shampoo when I’m alone, I hear your voice when no one’s there. I had an entire conversation with you and you weren’t even there,” he carried on, shaking his head as he briskly wiped away an angry tear. “God, I’m going fucking crazy,” he added with a manic chuckle. 

“You’re not crazy, Dean,” you said gently. 

“That night,” he started, staring at the wall across from him. “She was trying to get back someone she lost… someone she loved.” 

“Right,” you agreed. 

“They used to drown them, people they accused of being witches,” he continued slowly. 

“Yeah, it was pretty common. Sink, and you were innocent. Float, and you were guilty,” you pitched in. “But… what does that have to do with this?”

“I think they were innocent,” he said simply. “Whoever she lost… I think that’s how she lost them.” 

“Why do you think that?” you asked curiously. 

Dean cleared his throat, staring pensively at his hands once more. “The nightmares. It’s always… you always drown. I keep-... I can never save you.” 

“I don’t get-” you started to say, before he cut you off. 

“It’s how she lost who she loves, [Y/N],” he said curtly. “It makes sense for me to see the one I love go the same way.” 

“I-... what?” you asked, too stunned to think of anything else to say. 

“The dreams, the hallucinations, the- the way I’ve been feeling… I didn’t want to admit it, I still don’t, but I can’t… I mean I can only ignore it for so long, right?” he said, scoffing quietly. “Especially with you and Sam breathing down my neck about it.” 

“Ignore what, Dean?” you asked breathlessly, your heart hammering in your chest. 

“You,” he muttered. “They way I feel about you. The way I’ve always felt about you.” 

You didn’t dare respond, his words ringing in your ears as he fell silent, each of you lost in your own thoughts for a while. 

“I’ve always known that I love you, [Y/N/N],” he carried on, slowly meeting your gaze with glistening eyes. “But this… this curse, this whatever it is. God, it’s just made it all so much worse, and I knew. I knew it was you that my entire being was screaming out for but I couldn’t… I couldn’t admit it.” 

“Why not?” you asked shakily, feeling your tears starting to build. 

“How could I put that on you?” he asked, a few rogue tears slipping down his face. “You said it yourself, this thing is killing me. It’s gonna kill me, unless I get what I want, and given that that’s you, I’m calling it game over.” 

“No, Dean, it’s not,” you denied with a sniffle, cutting through your own stray tears. “You should’ve told me.” 

“Yeah, well,” he grumbled, shrugging lightly as he looked back at his hands. “I told you now.” 

“Dean,” you sighed, wiping your face as you stood from your seat. “Do you trust me?” you asked, walking towards him.

“Of course I do,” he said quickly, almost offended by the question. 

“Okay, well, I’ll need you to trust me on this,” you replied, stopping just in front of where he sat. 

“Okay,” he said with a huff. 

“You gotta look at me, though,” you said, laughing softly. 

Sighing dejectedly, he slowly lifted his head to meet your gaze, a ghost of a smile dancing on his lips as he looked at you. 

You smiled softly at him, gently taking his face in your hands before wordlessly bringing your lips down to meet his. At first, neither of you really knew what was happening, and just when you thought to pull away you felt his lips moving against your own. His hands gripped your waist to hold you in place a moment longer before you each pulled away, staring silently at each other as you processed what just happened. 

“What, uh… what was that for?” Dean finally asked. 

“Well, it was either that or slapping some sense into you,” you said playfully. “Which I almost think you still deserve, because I can’t believe you honestly think I don’t love you back.” 

“What?” he asked, his grip on your waist loosening in shock before tightening once more. 

“You’ve had me since the day we met, Dean,” you told him softly, carding your fingers through his hair. 

“You actually…” he trailed off quietly, trying to focus his thoughts. “You actually love me, of all people?” 

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “I do.” 

“So I- well, I guess I could’ve saved a lot of trouble if I really did just tell you, huh?” he asked jokingly, laughing tightly. 

“I’ll give you hell for it tomorrow,” you teased, half serious. “For now, how about we try getting you back to sleep?” 

“Actually,” he said, eyes sparkling with mischief. “I have a better idea involving this bed.” 

You couldn’t help but snort a laugh, grinning fondly at him. “Oh, really?” 

He grinned back, laughing with you before taking on a more sombre tone. “Do you trust me?” 

“Always,” you said honestly. 

“Good,” he replied with a grin, laughing heartily at the shriek you let out when he tossed you on the bed. 

He stared down at you, a look you’ve never seen before painted on his face. “What?” you asked, giggling nervously.

“I love you,” he said earnestly, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. 

“I love you, too,” you replied shyly, grinning softly. 

He matched your grin, drinking you in a moment longer before crashing his lips upon yours once more. 

When Dean woke the next morning, it didn’t take long for a grin to spread across his face as he quickly realized two things. 

The first thing being that you, the love of his life, still remained tangled up in both his arms and the sheets, sleeping peacefully atop his chest. 

The second being that, for the first time in a total of thirteen days, he was able to sleep without being haunted by his nightmares. 

He felt you stir, and his grin widened as you nestled in closer, tightening your grip on him as you slept. He planted a kiss against your temple, pulling you in close as he blissfully settled in for another peaceful rest. 

Maybe witches aren’t so bad.

tagging: @roseblue373

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[thefaeriemagic3]

i hope wherever daisyisawriter91 (author of 23 of 40 garth/benny fics on ao3) is they are having a good day

[aylacavebear]

So far, this is my favorite one-shot I've written, and I was rereading it this morning. Just wanted to give it a reblog. I shared this with my sister, and she said that the things I wrote in here are things that men really struggle with. Also, the woman struggles with needing to hear those things, but the way I wrote it, to my sister, was beautiful. That the reader here just knew. I just wanted to share that.

Three Little Words - A Touched Oneshot

Just something cute and fluffy. Established relationship. Dean x OCF reader/you

No warnings here, no insuations. Just fluffy cuteness. I hope you guys like it. I wrote and edited it this morning while having coffee in just a couple hours, since it invaded my dreams last night in the best way.

Memories are indented. Thoughts are in italics.

Word Count: 2583

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The two of you were cuddling, your shared room dark. He’d just gotten back from a hunt and, after showering, had crawled into bed behind you. You weren’t completely asleep, trying to stay awake and wait for him. So when you felt the bed dip and the warmth of his body, you snuggled your back against his chest as his arm slipped over your waist.

Dean nuzzled into your hair, inhaling deeply, trying to find that peace you always brought to him. The way your body fit against his was where it always started. Then it was your scent as he closed his eyes and held you close. He knew you’d ask. You always did after the content hum left his lips.

“Why me?” your words were always a whisper because you still couldn’t understand it. But then again, Dean was never good with words.

He didn’t know how to tell you that holding you close like this brought peace to his soul in a way he never thought was possible.

He didn’t know how to tell you that your laughter was like a symphony that quieted his thoughts when nothing else did.

He didn’t know how to tell you that your smile brightened the room around you and took away the darkness he always felt.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when you would just sit and listen to him talk about how badly a hunt had gone while he stared at the floor said more than words ever could.

He didn’t know how to tell you that the moment his lips touched yours, the entire world melted away, leaving him with just you and how you made him feel.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when you were doing research, your focus completely on the book in front of you, that the way a few strands of hair had fallen over one side of your face made his breath hitch in his chest and the moment freeze and everything melted away.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when you’d bring him something to eat when he had put off eating for most of the day that the love he saw in your eyes made him realize how much you truly loved him and all he wanted to do was say those three little words to you, but couldn’t.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when you’d sing along to the radio and his favorite songs, you sounded like an angel, and for a few moments, he forgot about everything else but your voice.

He didn’t know how to tell you that just you being in his life brought joy back into his heart, and he found himself finding reasons to be silly with you, like a ticklefest, when he noticed a frown on your lips. 

He didn’t know how to tell you that when he got to wake up with you in his arms, he didn’t feel like a hunter or like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He felt like, in that moment, he had a normal, apple pie life, even if it never lasted.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when he would catch you baking, especially pie, he wished his mother was there, that she could have met you cause he knew she would have loved you as much as he did.

He didn’t know how to tell you that he loved hearing you squeal or squeak when he would surprise you, how it always made him smile when you pretended to be mad at him, but the look of love and joy in your eyes always gave you away.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when you didn’t go with him and Sam on a case, he missed everything about you, and he was always more on edge, and he always had nightmares of losing you to some monster before he could make it back to you.

There was so much he never knew how to tell you, so he had done his best to show you because it all sounded stupid in his head, and he couldn’t bring himself to speak any of the words he tried to put to the emotions you made him feel. So, he told you the thing he always did when you asked, “Why you.” It was because you were you, and he loved all of you.

A quiet sigh left his lips, but he didn’t move away from you. For a few moments, he tried to think of how to word his emotions, but the words never seemed right. “Because you’re you,” he whispered back as his mind wandered.

He didn’t know how to tell you that when you always split the last piece of bacon with him, he remembered how you helped change his perspective on things. 

The two of you had been sitting in the kitchen in the bunker, having just finished the breakfast he had cooked. There was one slice of bacon left on the plate. Dean didn’t know how to tell you he loved you. Those were words he just couldn’t manage to ever say out loud. So, instead, he picked up the slice of bacon and handed it to you, telling you that you could have it because he knew how much you loved bacon. It was your gentle chuckle as you took the bacon that made him pause and look at you, a little confused. He watched as you broke the bacon in half, “I never want to take more than you give,” you whispered, then put one of the halves in your mouth. Instead of handing that other half to Dean, you leaned across the table and fed it to him, nothing but love and adoration in your eyes. His breath had hitched in his chest. “You love bacon as much as I do. I’ll always share with you. I never want you to feel like I take more than I give,” you had told him softly. And from that moment on, he began trying the same thing with you.

“Where are your thoughts?” you asked him sleepily, feeling how he had tensed up a little as he held you.

He let out a quiet chuckle because you always seemed to know. “In my head,” he mumbled, nuzzling against your neck again and letting out a content sigh.

“Where are you?” you asked, this time softer.

“With you,” he whispered, feeling how just telling you that always made the tension ease out of him, everywhere.

He wanted to tell you that it was simple questions like that that had helped him over the years learn that he wasn’t alone, that he didn’t have to face the things not only in his head but also in life, alone.

But Dean had never been good with sharing the things he went through, and you had never pushed. Just like now. He knew you knew he was tense from the hunt, but you hadn’t even asked him how it went. You never had to ask. You just had found ways to pull his mind into the now. He smiled a little, remembering back to the first fight between the two of you, before he’d ever even asked you to be with him, let alone wanted to admit that you had wormed your way into his heart.

It had been after a hunt. Sam had already gone to his room, knowing what was coming, but Dean had followed you to yours, slamming the door behind him. His eyes were on your blood-stained shirt. Your wounds had already healed, but that wasn’t the point, not for Dean. You had gotten injured, saving him. He could tell you were pissed, but he didn’t care. The tension and silence in the car ride back to the motel had only given him time to think about what he was going to say to you instead of what he wanted to say. You turned to look at him, a glare in your eyes as you crossed your arms, standing confidently across the small room. Dean didn’t care. To him, he wasn’t worth you getting hurt. “What you did was reckless,” he growled, but you didn’t even blink, only pushing his anger further. “You didn’t follow the plan, and you got hurt!” You just raised an eyebrow, a knowing smirk toyed at your lips. He didn’t like that look. “Yes. It was reckless. Your plan was flawed, but you refuse to trust my judgment on things, so I have to improvise.” There was no anger in your words, and for the briefest of moments, he knew you saw the confusion in his eyes before he quickly hid it. Dean let the anger flare in his eyes again, wanting to make you understand that he wasn’t worth you getting hurt, period. To him, this wasn’t up for debate. He took two steps toward you, crossing the small room, but you didn’t even flinch as your eyes never left his. It was both slightly intimidating, but deep down, it tickled that hope he always pushed away. He hated himself for the things that spewed from his mouth after that as he looked down at you with utter anger. The fact that it didn’t seem to outwardly affect you only fueled it further. You literally just stood there, your eyes locked onto his, your expression almost neutral, and your arms crossed. It was infuriating him. You had waited patiently while he went off. He hadn’t said a single nice thing, but that wouldn’t deter you. Nope. You’d spent enough time now around the brothers that you knew Dean’s habits, his patterns. Hell, you had even tested them a few times just to make sure. The moment he was done yelling, you figured it was time to point a few things out.

“First off, you’re a hypocrite,” you began, but your tone was… normal? That puzzled Dean, but only for a split second before he quickly hid it, letting the anger flare in his eyes again. But you didn’t stop there. “You’re constantly putting yourself in harm's way to keep not only Sam and me safe but strangers too. I know you do it because you care. Dean, you have one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen in someone. You don’t chastise Sam when he does the same thing I just did tonight. I know this because I’ve tested it, among other things,” you told him, and he could hear the softness that trickled into your words. But you didn’t stop there. “You’re going to have to just deal with me doing what I do. I don’t do hypocrisy or double standards. If you don’t want me to do it, then don’t do it yourself, period.” The seriousness with which you said that made him see red, his jaw clenching as his hands balled into fists at his sides, but even that didn’t seem to affect you. He opened his mouth as he pointed a finger at you, but you kept going. “I’m allowed to put myself in harm’s way for those I care about. Plain and simple. I’m a hunter, Dean, just like you. You want to yell at me because I got hurt, fine. Then, when you get hurt, I’ll stay silent while I tend to your wounds because that’s just how I am. You yelling is your way of showing how you care. When I’m silently patching you or Sam up, that’s how I show I care. I’m not going to yell at you for protecting someone you care about.” There was a finality in your last statement that had Dean wanting so desperately to hate you. Dean couldn’t even find words to say something that would push you away, and that had pissed him off. You saw through him into the depths of the things he thought he kept hidden. The fact that you would let him yell at you, floored him. To him, he wasn’t worth saving, wasn’t worth protecting, wasn’t worth being cared for, and he damn well wasn’t worth getting hurt for. He wanted to yell at you, but he didn’t have an argument now. You just looked up at him with those eyes he had tried so hard not to get lost in since he and Sam had asked you to join them. Then there was how relaxed your expression was, like the cruel things he had said hadn’t even affected you. You had effectively taken away the things he could use to keep you at arm's length, the things he would have used to push you away.  It hit him in that moment, and it scared the hell out of him, but all he did was glare down at you, enraged. “This isn’t over,” he told you in a low growl. “Yes, Dean, it is. You can’t scare me away because I know you’ll never hurt me,” you told him plainly, and the shock in his eyes left just as quickly as it appeared. All he could do was storm out of your room, slamming the door behind him.

The memory brought a small smile to his lips as he pulled you just that much closer. That was the night he realized he loved you and that you loved him, but it took him nearly another three years before he acted on it. The bluntness of your words back then had always shut him up, but it was mostly because of the kindness in your eyes as you spoke them.

You felt him relax further behind you, the warmth of his body and how his arm was draped across you was lulling you off to sleep as a soft smile found your lips. It was these moments where nothing else mattered. There were no monsters, no pressing apocalypse that had to be tended to, and no research left untouched in the library. This moment was a peaceful reprieve from the hardships that came with being a hunter.

As Dean drifted off to sleep, his thoughts were only of you. His last thought was always those three little words he hadn’t been able to say to you, but he showed you in every way he could possibly imagine.

Like when he’d share his pie with you, feeding you pieces while he watched you smile and the light of wherever the two of you were sitting dance off your features. 

When he would say something silly just to hear you laugh with that huge smile that reached both your eyes.

He couldn’t tell you that when you would come up and hold him from behind while he was cooking, it instantly took the tension from his shoulders. So, he would hold you while you washed the dishes, hoping his closeness brought you the same feeling.

He couldn’t tell you that you were his home, the place where his soul found peace, and all he ever had to do was look into your eyes or watch you doing some simple task. So, he had vowed that he would do everything he could, every day, to be your Home. Why? Because Dean wasn’t good with words, but he could do actions, and those, those you could see. All he could do was hope that you felt them how he meant them because no matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn’t say those three little words.

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