#SORRY its so crunchy idk why its doing that

[yugsly]

Green Note, with Juan Carlos Bodoque

[vultures-and-scavengers]

no, i am a huge sucker for 'aloof character learns to lean on others and makes it through trials via the power of love and friendship and really supportive hugs' actually.

that, and enemies to lovers. she is orlesian, after all.

[possumdrawsstuff]

THAT SCAR REF SHEET I WAS TALKING ABT FOR JIM!

all of these r based off stuff that happened in canon, if you think I’ve missed any cool opportunities then feel free to point them out! I add them because I believe that while they probably couldn’t have been included in the show for the pg rating and some of the ways he would’ve gained them being somewhat violent (even for trollhunters). I feel they add to his character and in how they would grow over time show how he would gain more and more experience as a trollhunter, yet also gaining more and more pressure and experiences that are probably not the best on jim mentally.

(Ps. I have no lightning scars In my design because lichtenberg scars, while cool looking, don’t usually last)

(Ps ps, the model I used to plan them out is from sketch fab somewhere but as I had originally not made this to post I didn’t save it, if anybody knows the creator, or is the creator, feel free to hit me up and I’ll credit you in the post.

ANYWAY MOVING ON TO THE SCARS AND MY SILLY LITTLE REASONS FOR THEM BEING THEREEE!

This is prolly gonna be angsty but I have an angsty ao3 background (to whoever read my Peter Parker nwh fic yall know ,and I am sorry I haven’t updated lol)

face/ eyebrow scar: I love that they gave him a scar in the movie, however, I didn’t like how it looked very much, especially with how he got it. I mean ARRRGHHH! Literally punched him so hard (love him Frfr but bro was not messing around even w Jim) that stone on stone had enough force to scratch some off of his face, this is why I usually make it look messier and more like scratchy scars rather than the clean cut from wizards/the unspeakable movie

2. GOBLIN/GENERAL SCARS: ok y’all I haven’t seen many other people do these but they are ver important to me 😌. Just scars from sparring could be all of these, the heroes forge has literal flying axes like ?? and in earlier seasons he didn’t always have his armor on or have a helmet at his disposal so I think he would to have had to have been nicked pretty good at least once or twice. Then there’s the goblin scars, In my version they told Barbara that it was racoons that got him , but the idea is that for Jim to have landed in the hospital he must have been hurt pretty badly that night, so, I would imagine that even while facing nomura Jim was fighting against the effects of blood loss also.

3.Angor rot: if you couldn’t tell by the photo it doesn’t show up in this! HOWEVER in my silly little side project (I’m sure some of you can probably guess what it is and if you can’t, idk look at some of my reblogs and you’ll probably find it, BUT! because it takes place after canon (yes including the movie) but also has some crunchy plot twisting In the background, the angry rot man face thing (I cant remember the name of it right now for the life of me please) will show up whenever he comes near to Jim, even if time is messed up, angor rot is back and technically hasn’t died yet so yes Jim gets the spoopy glowy thing.

4.amulet scar: idk if anybody remembers but when the arcane order took Jim’s amulet, he got scars from it right? It can be seen on his beast design is all of the tendrils leeching out from the indent of the amulet, my thinking is if his human form also got scarred by ARRGHHH! Why didn’t this scar translate too? Then again it could’ve but Jim is obviously a big fan of blue jacket*tm* so we will never know, I think he did but idk 🤷‍♀️

5.Bellroc- HEY SO ANYBODY REMEMBER WHEN BELLROC LITERALLY IMPALES JIM ON HER FLAMING STAFF!?! AND HE JUST KEPT GOING AFTER GETTING THE ARMOR!?! LIKE HE DIDNT JUST GET IMPALED? (This is partly why I think he gets like an adrenaline rush magic thingy as seen in some fic i read at some point PLEASE TELL ME IF ITS YOUR FIC I LOST IT PLEASE) YA that’s gonna leave a mark! the wound I’m guessing instantly cauterized so while yes it would hurt really bad I take that as why he was just running around after the armor.

6.burnt hand, another thing that happened in the movie but didn’t really get wrapped up in the end, Jim burnt his left hand on the gaggletac (idk how to spell it) and it just stayed bandaged for the rest of the movie, so it is also included on this list

7.back scars from bular: this one is probably the stretchiest one in this list but I think that it would have been an AMAZING addition to the plot character development wise. In one scene we see bular literally crushing and sliding Jim up the bridges interior wall and Jim is literally like silently screaming in this scene (thank you Guillermo /im sad for my son) and I like to think that after rushing over and doing Romeo and Juliet, Jim got off stage, practically ran over some people trying to get home because he can feel it, the whole play. This gives him some insight on the dangers of troll hunting. Yes I know this was a lesson beforehand but this is in the arc along with the goblins where Jim is learning he’s going to have to make personal sacrifices to keep up this troll hunting thing, including his mental health probably , it will serve as a very physical reminder of the constant danger he is now and will probably forever be in (in case y’all couldn’t tell that I’ve watched Spider-Man nwh like 8 times I’m out for blood on this one)

8.face scar from morgana: slinging the mood back around and also calling back to the “scars gained while Jim is a troll also get applied to his human form”, in like one of the last episodes maybe 2nd to last or the very last one in the final battle with morgana, she scratches Jim’s cheek with a throwing dagger and from what I can remember I thought it actually stayed on his face throughout the end of the series, I could be deluxe but I still like to add it for some reminder of the OG final battle.

not mentioned here- little pit in the amulet indention from the dark shard, and various scars from the dark lands.

if you read that entire rant I’m sorry , enjoy!

[doodleofbugness]

sorry i could have sworn i saw you reblog this idk what’s wrong with me!! Anyway its this one https://www.tumblr.com/pirdmystery/740688712425422849/okay-heres-an-ask-game but feel free to ignore 😅

lol, it’s fine

so i don’t really ship dimilix, but i will read the fics sometimes, and the art is lovely.

Why don’t you ship it?

idk, it just isn’t one i’m invested in, you know? the stars weren’t right, is what i’m saying.

What would have made you like it?

not sure. like i said, i’ll read the fics if they look interesting, but for the most part i prefer them with other people. netteflix and dimimari is where i usually hang out.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

the dynamic is so fucking rich. i totally get why people ship it, there’s so many layers, and they’re all so crunchy

[flyingcookierambles]

oh yeah some silly gpose i guess

under the cut

i have to learn how to screen record tomorrow when the game is back up bc static pictures cannot do the nirvana zeta (replica) justice. the thing changes colors! the gems are rainbow!!! its so pretty. my pride and my joy and my source of pain and suffering for about 1 year lol.

the above were in my Off gshade setting. that is to say, my own setting. which is why it sucks and is so so crunchy. like. i really am envious of Pint (former WoW player, now a ffxiv lalafell streamer and machinima/animator/comedy guy/femboy kinda lol) and his gshade settings are so so pretty and cinematic and the DoF auto setting is good i really have to find the vod or something where he sets it up or answers a question abt it so i can copy. he’s only adjusted it a few times in his vods and i think the names of the settings were just like “Pint ____” so its custom i guess and everything uuugh will he release his settings publicly i need to knowwwwwwww ugh

anyways BLUE TONGUE AAAAAAAA RAEN ARE SO CUTE i can never fantasia to be a xaela or non-au ra race now im sorry the blue tongue is just so so cute and such a dumb little detail i love it lolgruhago

on a shadowbringers train last night (im in a hunt linkshell for Jenova called Hunt VIOLENCE II but is 128/128/full so idk if the ppl running it will make a VIOLENCE III or what lol). someone sniped the grassman :( monke gone

bonus silly adventurer plates

played the piano for francel at the firmament and unlocked charlemend’s custom deliveries finally. loved this scene. on one hand i get that they’re just reusing npcs bc it probably costs money to make new ones or whatever the push of the randomization button is, on the other hand i love that they reuse npcs bc i can name ppl and ishgard feels lived in with your familiar neighbors :)

tbh pre-hw, i accidentally spoiled myself via the subreddit and twt, not on the plot stuff for hw, but the ishgardian restoration. and also a bit of dark knight. so. my impression was the gross communal salt rocks, the squishy beds of mysterious substance, the murder of the innocent orl tribe. so. my first impression, pre-hw, was...not great.....but now that it really seems like they’re trying to make it a better more inclusive place and moving more towards living with the dragons like letting ehll tol and her dragon friends live in the city, plus the machinist questline of the great equalizer power of gun uhhh i mean hilda and her hounds providing the brume and common folk safety in the streets instead of just the corrupt temple knights - ishgard just feels like home now. :) there’s also the crystarium on the first.

anyways, visited another world after seeing a shb hunt ad on the centurio hunts discord.

also, my crappy apartment in-game in the empyreum / the ishgardian housing apartments. im finally decorating it.

saw a concert in gridania aetheryte plaza and there was a portgas d ace cosplayer lol.

anyways i loved my co-healer cajun lettice here lol we all had brain fog. thankfully no full raid wipes, just...our team. lol

slightly outdated, but heres my suffering inventory and relic grind. im on the stupid atma books rn, so kinda disregard the atma shown here rn.

edit: realized i forgor to add the pics of the artemis atma oops. the colorful one is the gshade neneko x eorzea collection natural vanilla settings. the drab boring one is just the vanilla base game. literally. so. drab. even on my regular ps4 and whenever i borrow my sister’s ps5 to play, our tvs have built-in shader/color adjusting settings to make it look not. dirt. ugh. gshade really helps this game i swear idk how vanilla ppl do it anymore lol. its not even like cheating modding fluid aura type game mods like in world of warcraft, its literally just a built in instagram filter lol.

just putting these here bc. uh. i was thinking of helping out that tracking site that’s been helping me not go absolutely bonkers doing these dang relics. they need a picture of it or something i guess. idk. its this website, it saves me so much time and hassle. > https://ffxivrelictracker.com/

ok and maybe the zodiac buddy dalamund add-on*winks*

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Blooming Panic hcs because I have literal brain rot but barely any of these are serious and you can tell who are my favs

Xyx

- has no idea what a grilled cheese sandwich is

- like you and Toasty were talking about having them for lunch or something and he goes “what the fuck is a grilled cheese sandwich. Do you,,,,do you grill two slices of cheese and eat it???? Is it just burnt cheese?????”

- you and Toasty are confused too but not with the same thing

- “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT A GRILLED CHEESE IS???????” “no?????” “ARENT YOU A GROWN MAN YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS”

- despite being a lawyer, he doesn’t actually know a lot of basic things

- “wdym I cant put white clothes and coloured clothes in the washer together, they’re both clothes” “…how are you almost 30”

- the eyeliner he’s wearing is actually the same eyeliner he applied 2 years ago

- you know how some ppl go for the crusty emo look?? Yeah, he perfected it

- has never been in the closet, he came out the second he knew so he could make even more jokes

- he wears a fairly large shoe size so he constantly says shit like “well u know what they say about men with big feet😏” “Xyx I’m in the middle of a raid SHUT THE FUCK UP”

- dislikes ham for no reason in particular, he just thinks it’s weird

- used to play the knife game a lot. Like a concerning amount

- hates hair gel cause it makes his hair Crunchy but he has to clean up nicely for work so he sits there and wants to wash his hair so bad but he can’t cause then he just has a weird mullet thing

- has a tongue piercing

- even though he uses “lawyer” words and makes lawyer puns constantly, no one knew his career until he outright told them

- “yeah so im a lawyer” “YOURE A WHAT?? HOW ?!??” “WHO THE FUCK USES THE WORDS PERJURY AND LIBEL IN NORMAL CONVERSATIONS???” “IDK ONION??” “okay fair u got me with that one”

- because only you and Toasty (started having voice calls after Xyx shared his face) have heard his voice, no one else in the server has any idea he’s Not American so they assume he’s American

- likes fairy bread. Like a lot. Maybe too much.

- no literally sometimes it’s all he eats for days. Every single meal it’s just. Fairy bread.

- he flusters so easy whenever someone is being genuine like you can say you want to peg him or smthin and he’ll flirt right back but if you tell him you want to cup his face oh so gently and kiss him slowly he breaks

- well actually if you say you wanna peg him he’ll probably get flustered too but ignore that

- he’s double jointed

- eats whipped cream right out of the can

- has extra teeth from when he was younger and his teeth are also Very Sharp

- makes fun of Toasty for having a peanut allergy

- “I thought u were fruity Toast, why can’t u handle nut?“ “for the love of god please stop” “…do u need to bring an epipen when u suck someone off” “STOP OMG WHAT IS WITH U TODAY” “wdym I’m like this everyday”

- always uses the perfect amount of cologne it’s terrifying, it’s never too much or too little

- got his appendix removed and needed his tonsils removed too but he wanted to keep them so they had to sedate him

- he was Not pleased

NakedToaster

- as implied earlier, they are allergic to peanuts

- he thinks they’re gross anyways so he doesn’t care really

- forgets that they’re really tall sometimes and smacks his head on shit constantly

- “hey, have you seen m- FUCKING SHIT. OW” “…u good???” “Yea sorry I threw my noggin’ into my doorframe again”

- references vines to an unhealthy extent. Even the rare ones that only he seems to know about

- they say the reference out loud and laugh but since no one else knows it they think they’ve just gone fucking crazy

- “ya know, like that one vine?” “No, no we don’t know”

- likes cheez-its but only after 1 am

- half Polish, 1/4 Estonian, 1/4 Russian

- why? Because they look so slavic it hurts and because I said so, fuck you

- likes cheese so fucking much it’s actually disgusting

- lactose intolerant

- only instrument he knows how to play is the fucking accordion but he doesn’t want to admit that so they just say they don’t know how to play any instruments

- avid reptile enjoyer, active amphibian hater

- stoner

- it just makes him feel weightless and warm and dizzy in such a good way so they smoke often but they prefer edibles, especially sweet ones

- gets super soft spoken and cuddly and sweet when high like the best way I can describe it is like subspace and it’s the cutest thing the World

- fairly good singer, often does little duets with Xyx when it’s late and they’re both inebriated in some way

- little spoon (I’m right about this)

- will wear the cat ears he bought as a joke for $20 or more

- probably plays League and mains Machine Herald

- “haha funny machine Russian man says the funny machine Russian man things that’s so silly of him”

- easiest person to fluster, you can say anything to them and he will turn bright red and stutter

- “your hair looks so cute today toasty :)” “hhhhhhhhthank u…”

- favourite drink is apple juice or warm apple cider

- actually has three monitors not two but the third one is only used to display a picture of big Marty at all times

- first time you saw it you broke down laughing and worried him because you looked like you weren’t properly breathing

- they probably have asthma

- got pneumonia once because he was too focused on final fantasy to take care of himself

- Toasty is actually autistic, this is true they told me himself

Quest

- can be worse than even Xyx when it comes to dirty jokes, but most of the time he doesn’t even realize he made such jokes

- puts someone random in the JAIL role every Tuesday depending on how badly behaved you are during the week in the server

- Xyx and Nightowl get this role the most

- likes to paint on skin like he really enjoys painting things like landscapes on someone’s forearm or back or stomach

- has accidentally drunk paint water several times

- whenever he gets a cut or he’s bleeding somewhere, he sucks all the blood off and thinks its a little bit tasty

- “no wonder I get so many mosquito bites, I taste delicious :^D” “what did u just type…”

- hates graham crackers for literally no reason

- takes gym mirror pics and sends them in general chat because everyone thinks he’s really hot

- even BIGLADY keysmashes over the pics

- Quest knows what he’s doing with those okay, but he likes to act completely oblivious

“[pic sent] finished my workout for today! :^) a bit sweaty but feeling pretty good” “ALSJSJSHSHS daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry.” “???? I know I’m like the server dad but what does that have to do with this??”

- good at poker, absolute garbage at blackjack

- only one other than Xyx to beat Onion at chess

- likes celery because of how crunchy it is he just munches on it all day long practically

- the other sever members make fun of him for it because they do not particularly favour celery

- his glasses are always so dirty

- doesn’t drink all that often but when he does it’s almost guaranteed he’ll get blackout drunk. Why?

- he’s a fucking lightweight. And it’s kinda sad how little it takes for him to get absolutely fucking hammered

- thinks fish are very interesting

- likes frogs :)

- this has lead to arguments between him and Toasty, the resident amphibian hater

- “frogs are awesome!! Theyre so cute and little!!” “Are u prepared to die for those opinions? Because frogs are dogshit and I stand by that” “@NakedToaster has been timed out for 5 hours”

- will have quiet/silent calls with Nightowl with some quiet lofi music in the background where Quest does his work and Nightowl does him homework

- Quest loves lofi music and I will die on this hill

- throughly enjoys building 3D models of things

- probably the reason half the server has a praise kink and it’s completely by accident

- somehow always wins at Rock Paper Scissors??? No one knows how he does it

Nightowl

- has mild deuteranomaly (red green colourblindness type where they can usually see most shades of green)

- it’s not usually an issue though tbh and it doesn’t come up much for him in his day to day life

- hates apples and but loves apple slices

- uses kid toothpaste because he hates minty toothpaste

- used to have braces and would change the colour of the bands literally every appointment

- sucks at chess but dominates at checkers like he’s so fucking good at checkers

- has eaten a glass marble once and hasn’t seen it since

- has hundreds of tiktok drafts and most of them are thirst traps

- once super glued his hand to a wall and the fire department was in fact called

- has bpd but has never gotten treatment because he doesn’t know what it is and his mom talks shit about mental health stuff so he never even thought about going to therapy

- owns an Xbox 360 and plays it frequently

- has a massive scar on his thigh from attempting and failing at climbing a tree when he was younger

- is the reason why there is a “horny jail” role on the server

- listens to Kpop and tries to get the others into it the way Toasty tries to get ppl to play final fantasy

- tried sharpening his teeth with a nail file before and his dentist has been suspicious of him ever since

- “your teeth look sharper than they did the last time you were here” “haha that’s crazy…anyway-“ “🤨”

- has dyed his hair every colour of the rainbow but eventually got too tired of the upkeep and stopped

- his favourite snack are gushers

- has an Instagram account where he posts his art and has like 200K+ followers on it

- he wants an eyebrow piercing so bad but thinks it would look weird on him but the second that anyone would suggest it he would cave immediately and get one

- likes bang energy drinks, favourite is the cotton candy flavour

- has mixed bang with vodka once and lets just say he never did it again

- surprisingly steady hands

- really good with kids!!! He loves them so so much and they love him back!!! Used to babysit for family friends and family

- kind of a picky eater

- likes to dip his fingers in candle wax to make a little wax tower and then when it gets to be pretty tall he pops it off, lets it melt, and does it again

- he’s god at math but he’s kinda bad at reading because he’s severely dyslexic

- wears gold shimmer eyeshadow and puts on eyeliner everyday no matter what

- uses tone tags and has learned to ask for clarification when he’s confused about the tone of a sever message

[raplinesmoon]

Love At First Bite (KNJ x F!Reader)

NO-FACETOBER hosted by @bangtanbathhouse

⤖ 「 Day 25 」: teeth

Pairing: Vampire!Kim Namjoon x Dentist!Reader

Genres: fantasy, fluff, slight horror

AUs: strangers-to-lovers?

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: mentions of blood drinking, hiding one’s identity, cracked teeth, extractions, anesthesia, the dentist (sorry I’m scarier than Namjoon I know), HIPAA non-compliance, passing out (these are all minor)

Ratings: PG13

Summary: Kim Namjoon has a fang-tastic problem on his hands. And you’re the only dentist who can fix it.

A/N: Hi! If you’re doing a drinking game to this fic, please cross tooth/teeth off your list (idk why you’d be doing that, but here we are). This story is purely self indulgent, bc I rarely see dentists represented in any type of fics, but I’m out here to change that. Also, I don’t condone the questionable actions taken by health professionals in this, it’s just meant to be funny! I hope you enjoy!! Also cameo from my beloved Useless Magic couple 🥺 Lots of love, Isi 💜 Banner made by me.

Taglist: @magentamoons

After living for hundreds of years, one came to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Kim Namjoon was no stranger to these moments of small indulgence.

Unloading his grocery bags in his apartment, Namjoon carefully lit a candle, making sure to steer clear of the flame. Yes, they were dangerous and could potentially burn him to death, but the smell of lavender and sage made it worth it. This weekend, he’d stopped by the new bakery that had opened in town, called Magic Shop.

Namjoon had a sneaking suspicion that the couple who owned it definitely had something magical about them. There was too much raw energy thrumming in the air to credit their success to recipes alone. In fact, the owner Jin had mentioned being allergic to garlic, which prompted Namjoon to raise his eyebrows in surprise. On one hand, he was tempted to ask if the man was a fellow vampire as well. On the other hand, he was glad that the herbed loaf he’d purchased wouldn’t cause him to puke the moment he dug into it at home. Deciding to hold his tongue, he made a resolution to return to the bakery one day and get to know more about its mysterious owners.

Humming to himself in the kitchen, Namjoon warms up a mug of fresh blood from the bags he stored in the fridge, as well as a slice of the crusty loaf slathered with butter. Contrary to popular belief, vampires didn’t have to only survive on blood. While blood was their principal life source, Namjoon’s taste for the substance had begun to wane over the centuries. After living in so many cities and countries, he’d been exposed to the wonders of human food, from delicious, fragrant tahdig in Iran to sweet, airy krapfen in Austria. The food made the blood go down easier, which is why he took to stopping in local bakeries and grocery stores to sample their finest delicacies.

Buttering up the piece of toast, he chomps down on the crunchy bread with his long, slim teeth. Immediately, Namjoon is met with the sound of a deafening crack. His heart (not that he has one) drops, and he looks in horror to see a piece of his canine lodged in the bread.

Panicking, Namjoon drops the slice of bread and immediately makes his way to the antique mirror hanging in his entryway. Flashing a grim smile, he inspects the damage.

“Suck my life!” he moans, as the sight of his broken front tooth greets him. A clean slice, all the way through the tooth, with the tip missing. Groaning to himself, he laments on the loss of his charming feature. Even though it had been years since Namjoon used his teeth to pierce the flesh of another human, his fangs were still an important part of his identity, and now one of them was broken.

He’d never hear the end of this from Yoongi and Hoseok. Decades of friendship with the demon and the werewolf had led to countless bouts of teasing over Namjoon’s clumsiness. While he resembled every bit the elegant vampire in terms of his stature and interests, his actions spoke otherwise, as he constantly managed to stumble or bump into and break everything he touched. Perhaps that was why antique stores loved when he’d walk in searching for a new mirror.

This wouldn’t do. He had to get this fixed, now. But Namjoon was sure no vampire in history had ever broken their fangs. However, plenty of humans had. Frantically reaching for his cell phone, Namjoon taps “tooth doctor” into the search bar, sighing in relief when a result for a place called “Smile Street” pops up that looks to be a short walk away.

It was risky, exposing himself to humans like this, but Namjoon had no choice. Putting on his best glamour, he heads out the door.

“Jisoo! Can you grab me some topical and two carps of lido with epi for this extraction please?” you yell out to your dental assistant as you try to calm down the panicking lady in your chair, assuring her that pulling her tooth meant getting her out of pain, not putting her in more pain.

Smile Street was your pride and joy. You’d worked through so many countless years of dental school and specialty training to be able to take care of patients and provide for them. Obviously, not every patient who walked in the door was perfect, but the people of this town had been more than grateful for you and your practice after the old dentist had retired and moved to Florida.

“Doctor ___, here’s the anesthesia you asked for, all loaded and ready to go,” Jisoo hands you the syringe, continuing to talk as you begin to numb up the patient.

“A new patient just walked in, complaining of a broken tooth. I know you’re strict about taking walk-ins and emergencies, buuuut, he’s kind of cute,” she whispers.

You roll your eyes at her. Jisoo had been trying to convince you for years to take a break from your hectic lifestyle and consider dating, but somehow, you never found the time among your daily patient load and continuing education courses.

“Set him up in Room 3 please, I’ll be there as soon as I’m done with this.” Jisoo nods, giving you a wink as she walks out.

“Kim Namjoon?” you read your clipboard as you walk into the room. “My name is Doctor ___, and I’ll be taking care of you today. I understand you’re here for a broken tooth? Could you tell me in your own words what’s going on?”

Looking up at your patient, you do a double-take. Jisoo had not been lying when she said he was cute. Cute, in fact, was an understatement. The man in front of you was hauntingly beautiful. Tall and big, with pale skin that somehow glowed, and glinting golden eyes. He flashed you a small smile, dimples popping out to greet you. Those damn zygomaticus majors.

“Hello Doctor,” he greets you, voice warm and deep. “I’m so sorry for walking in last minute, but I seem to have run into a bit of a problem this morning. I was enjoying a piece of bread from that new bakery, Magic Shop-”

“I love that place!” you blurt out, face immediately heating at your outburst. “I’m so sorry, please continue.”

Namjoon lets out a laugh, and you see a flash of white sparkle below the operatory light. “Anyway, I was biting into my lovely loaf from Magic Shop, when suddenly I heard a loud crack. I’m known to be pretty clumsy, so at first I thought I’d broken the table or chair or something, but when I looked down, a piece of my tooth was in the bread!” “Oh no! I’m so sorry about that!” you respond. It happened all the time, patients biting into crusty bread or nuts or candy, and cracking a piece of tooth. You had this in the bag. “Was it painful? Do you have the tooth piece with you?”

Namjoon freezes. He didn’t really know how to tell this (pretty) doctor that he was undead, and therefore unable to feel pain. So he settles for assuring her that it didn’t hurt, and holding out the plastic bag with part of his fang.

Inspecting the broken piece, you’re surprised to see how sharp and pointy it is. It didn’t look like a normal tooth at all, but you brush it to the side. It could’ve been a complicated fracture, like an Ellis Class III, so you were more worried about Namjoon and how he was feeling.

Putting on your gloves, you turn on your light and ask Namjoon to lean back, putting on a pair of safety glasses, gulping as you realized they only made him look more attractive.

“Do you mind if I take a look?” you breathe, leaning in towards him.

Namjoon nods his assent, his mind racing as you get closer and closer, worried about exposing his secret but also secretly wanting to impress you with his (what he thought were) perfect teeth.

“Namjoon?” he’s jolted out of his haze by the sound of your voice. “It’s gonna be hard for me to look without opening your mouth isn’t it? I wish I had x-ray vision, but unfortunately, I don’t.”

You give him a kind smile. The poor man seemed so sweet, but also strangely nervous. You wanted to reach out and hold his hand to assure him that you were only here to help, but you realized that would be weird.

Slowly, Namjoon opens, and you’re greeted with the sight of slim, white, perfectly aligned teeth. A dentist’s dream. However, you stop short when you catch sight of his canines. Abnormally long and pointed, sharp like those of a dog, or a lion. Well, only one of them. The other one had been blunted by the fracture. Looking more closely at the broken tooth, you fail to make out any red that signifies the tooth is alive and has a blood supply.

Blanching, you retreat from his mouth quickly.

“I’m just going to go to the computer and jot down some notes,” you say nervously, hoping he can’t catch on to the tone of your voice.

As you sit down at the computer, you internally groan. Great, the one man you’d found attractive in ages and he just had to be one of those patients that came into the dentist asking for his teeth to be shaved down and fitted with vampire veneers. Every year, around Halloween, you had to fight off dozens of questions about making vampire teeth for patients who wanted to give others a fright, chastising them that it was dangerous and unhealthy for their teeth. And this man had gone out and done it. Still, as a doctor, it was your duty not to judge his personal choices, and to provide him with the best care possible.

“Well Namjoon,” you begin. “There’s a couple of options we can pursue here. It doesn’t look like the fracture has reached the pulp, which is the nerve of your tooth. Unfortunately, we’re unable to just glue the piece of tooth back on, as there’s a high possibility it’ll fracture again. We can potentially fit your tooth with a crown or a veneer to restore the fractured part. I wanted to ask though, are you interested in a more natural look for your teeth?”

“Natural?” Namjoon ponders, feeling slightly offended at your assessment of his teeth. “What does that even mean?”

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, your teeth, they’re-, they’re uh-, they’re kind of pointy. We could also do some minor procedures to help give you a softer look?”

Namjoon begins to fume. Sure, he’d found himself hopelessly attracted to you within the past twenty minutes, but he couldn’t believe you’d offer such a ludicrous suggestion. Changing his fangs? Changing who he was? No way in hell.

“Doctor, I’m sorry to say I don’t agree with your suggestions. If you have no further ways to help me, I’ll be taking my leave.”

Your mouth is agape as he takes off the bib and glasses, sets them down on the tray, and storms out the door.

The chill of the night air greets you as you wander down the dead-end street, looking for the apartment complex at the end. You were stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid for wandering out this late at night, but the memory of what happened with Namjoon this morning had you shaken up. You hadn’t meant to offend him, and you’d been looking forward to seeing him more if he chose to seek treatment for his tooth.

So you’d done some questionable digging through your medical records and managed to find Namjoon’s address. Jisoo, the bad influence she was, egged you on to try and apologize to him in person, and convince him to come back. Normally, you’d never agree with her outlandish suggestions, but you’d developed a tiny crush over the course of your appointment, and thought it best in your (professional) opinion to apologize and give some disclaimers.

Reaching the apartment complex, you greet the doorman, asking him to help you find apartment 613. He guides you to the elevator and gives you directions to find your way, and you frown as he wishes you a safe visit. What a weird thing to say.

Stopping on the sixth floor, you approach the apartment at the end of the hall, a chill crawling up your spine as you reach for the knocker. Three loud taps later, you tap your foot impatiently. What if he wasn’t home? What if he was asleep, like a normal human?

Immediately the door opens, and you’re met with the horrific sight of Namjoon, clad in only a muscle tee and pyjama shorts, with blazing red eyes and blood dripping out of the corners of his mouth.

Your mouth opens to scream, but you’re sure no sound comes out as you drop the basket of bread from Magic Shop you’d brought, and darkness envelops you.

Namjoon drags your body into the apartment. He was sure he hadn’t killed you. He hadn’t even touched you! You’d just caught him mid-feed, stress eating as he freaked out over how rude he was to you today. He’d been making plans to buy flowers and apologize tomorrow. Then, you’d shown up at his door randomly and now you were passed out on the couch.

The HOA was going to have a field day if they found out he was both a vampire and housing an unconscious woman in his apartment, and he liked this building! It had a grassy rooftop with a community garden! Namjoon paces back and forth, as he sees you stir on the couch.

Blearily, your eyes open, taking in the sight of Namjoon, freshly changed into a t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. You must have been hallucinating the blood on his face.

“So I’m a vampire.”

Your eyes widen, and the apology you were going to make gets caught in the back of your throat.

“I’m sorry, you’re a what?”

“A vampire. You know, those blood-sucking demons? Well not demons, because they’re their own separate entity, my friend Yoongi is one actually, he’s pretty cool, you should meet him. Vampire? Like Dracula? Nosferatu? Edward Cullen?”

“Good one! You really had me fooled there, especially with the fang teeth,” you erupt into laughter, stopping when you see Namjoon flash you a sinister smirk, canines glinting in the moonlight.

“Oh. You weren’t joking.”

“I wasn’t.”

In the shadowy lamplight, you feel a strange exhilaration being here alone with him - heart racing, the hairs on your arm standing up.

“Are you scared of me?”

“No,” you breathe out. Somehow, you couldn’t wrap your head around the situation you’d found yourself in, sitting in the living room of the most attractive vampire you’d ever seen. Well, the only vampire you’d ever seen. Whether he was human or not, Namjoon had an incredibly kind soul, and you’d offended him today. Your brain sparks as you remember what you came here for.

“Oh! I brought you some fruit tarts from Magic Shop. I know they aren’t the bread, but they’re really better for your teeth because they’re softer. I wanted to say sorry for suggesting that we shave down your fangs this morning, I-, I- didn’t know, but now I understand.”

“Fruit tarts?” Namjoon’s eyes widen at the delicious treat. He’d been so paranoid after what happened with the bread that he’d resorted to taking his blood plain for the rest of the day, holding his nose to mask the disgusting taste.

“Yup,” you say, thrusting the gift basket into his arms. “I won’t tell anyone, by the way. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for disturbing you. I’ll leave now.”

As you turn to put on your coat and shoes in the entryway, Namjoon jogs up behind you.

“____? Would you like to stay and have the fruit tarts with me?” he flashes you a sheepish grin, hand rubbing the back of his necky shyly.

Giving him a wide smile, you remove your coat, hanging it up next to the beautiful antique mirror.

“I’d love to.”

Six months later

“So,” Jin says, as the four of you take a stroll in the park. “How’d you two even meet?”

“I broke my tooth,” Namjoon chuckles. “And of course, I freaked out and went to the nearest dentist I could find. And then I freaked out again because she was prettier than I imagined.”

Namjoon looks around carefully, checking to see if anyone is within distance, before flashing his fangs to Jin and his girlfriend.

“No way!” the witch exclaims. “She fixed that for you? I can’t even believe it, it looks so real. How’d you do it?”

Smiling, you wrap an arm around Namjoon.

“What can I say? It was love at first bite.”

A/N pt. 2: Thanks for reading! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜

Glossary:

Topical - numbing jelly spread on the cheeks or gums before giving anesthesia. usually cherry flavored, but sometimes it can be bubblegum or pina colada

Carp - short for carpule, aka the little glass cartridge that contains anesthesia

Lido - short for lidocaine, the most common anesthetic used in dentistry. also known as novocaine

Epi - short for epinephrine, which is added to anesthestic to make it last longer

Zygomaticus major - the facial muscle that helps you smile. people with a variation in this jus le develop dimples

Pulp - the innermost part of teeth, which contains blood and nerves.

Complicated fracture - a tooth fracture that exposes the pulp

Ellis Class III - a tooth fracture of all three layers of the tooth (the enamel, dentin, and pulp)

Crown - a cap that provides full coverage to a tooth, often to replaced a worn down or decayed tooth and make it look normal again.

Veneer - similar to a crown, but more like a thin shell that slides onto teeth (mostly front ones) to make them look more aesthetic

[greeds]

CREAMY SWEET POTATO CARROT COCONUT SOUP (WITH AGED CHEDDAR BC I LOVE CHEESE SORRY)

1 sweet potata, diced

3 big ass carrots, chopped

1/2 tomata, diced

1/2 white onion, diced

2 large garlic cloves, minced (or chopped if ur like me and dont care enough to mince lord its so hard)

cooking oil so ur veggies dont stick to the pan + pot!

2 cups water (i think. i lost count help)

1 tbsp of veggie bouillon (i think! LOL)

1 400ml can coconut milk

handful of kale, roughly chopped

cheddar cheese, sliced thin for easy melting (omit if lactose intolerant sux 2 b u bruv)

spices: turmeric, cumin, paprika, nutmeg, dried parsley, salt, black and white pepper bc why not idek the difference between them man (sorry i dont measure this shit u gotta figure it out urself. fuck it we eyeball)

NOTE: if u dont have a BZZZ BZZZ handheld thingy to blend the soup at the end u might wanna chop n dice everything super fine so that its easier to "blend" by hand. we want this soup CREAMY. UNIFORM. GLORIOUS. SMOOTH IN UR MOUTH.

---

first ur gonna wanna take ur sweet potata and ur carrots and roast them a bit on medium-low heat. i did this in a pan bc i have an aversion to ovens i just hate waiting also that shit gets so hot help girl im scared! anyway u do this so it can be very soft and easy to blend in the pot, or not crunchy if u dont wanna blend ig

when the potata n carrot r soft, sautee the onion a lil bit in the pot on medium heat, then add in the garlic for another lil bit

once thats done add the potata and the carrot to the pot with ur water and veggie bouillon! also the tomata lol almost forgot her. add ur spices, mix, turn that shit up medium-high, put a lid on the pot n let it hang out

idk after like 5-10 min add the can of coconut milk, make sure to shake well. stir that shit up, it should be a beautiful turmeric yellow! let it simmer for however long ud like lol idk how this stuff works. another 5-10 min seems safe

when the soup is lookin good, BZZ BZZ blend it babey! give it a lil taste to make sure u added enough spices, and put some more if needed

add the cheddar cheese (or omit if god nerfed u at birth) and kale and turn off the fire. stir until the cheese is melted

taste the soup and again, if its lackin in flaveur add whatever da hell u want to it! chili powder is delishes with it, but my brother would die if i made it spicy so i added that to my bowl after

---

UM i added some cornstarch sometime after i put in the coconut milk bc i wanted it to be thicker, ig another solution would be to use more veggies! i only had 1 sweet potata and didnt wanna overwhelm the soup with carrot so this is how it went for me

served with buttered bread <3

[ihaveatheoryonthat]

I Cannot, Cannot Go

Note: This is unfinished and I likely won’t be returning to it. It ends abruptly and is littered with placeholders/notes. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, you’re better off skipping this.

---

Unova was not known for its annual snowfall.

While there were areas that made dramatic transformations when they froze over, the region was largely a temperate one, and its winters were mild. The brief, if striking, icing over of Opelucid didn’t count, and had happened in the springtime, anyway.

Which is why it was something of a shock when a coldsnap hit, and the snow began to pile up.

It was charming at first-- fun, even-- but life had to go on, and those with places to be and jobs to conduct went on with their daily routines. Emmet spent their commute alternating between [idk] and passive aggressively griping at the ease with which Ingo handled the chill. Ingo ignored the commentary and reminded Emmet how to properly traverse the accumulating snow.

[…]

But the snow didn’t melt. The temperature kept it on the ground, refreezing into crunchy sheets, only to be covered by a new layer. Then another, and another.

It became a problem by the third day, but the fourth was when things took a more personal turn for the worse.

The pair left ahead of schedule, allowing for any complications the building snowdrifts might pose, which was fortunate, since Ingo’s approach to proper snow traversal only went so deep. The walkways were cleared daily-- whether on purpose or by traffic-- but their schedule meant that previous night’s buildup had yet to be dispersed when they left home.

The sensation of cold seeping through his pants prickled, but Ingo tried to ignore it, pulling coat tighter around himself and flipping the collar up protectively. At his side, [nonsense from Emmet]. He forced a laugh.

Something moved in a pile of dirty snow and he whipped around to face it. Logically, he knew it was a Vanillite-- he could see ice crystals studding its head-- but for one terrifying moment, he saw the red-tipped tail of a Zorua in its swirling crest.

Emmet silently closed the gap between them, studied the unconventional nest, and linked his arm with Ingo’s, gently-- but forcibly-- turning him away from the sight. “It thinks it is hiding. We shouldn’t ruin its fun.”

Ingo gave a terse nod and moved closer, leaving just a sliver of room between them.

They made it a grand total of two blocks from home before Ingo came to a complete stop, dragging his brother to a halt with him, and choked out, “I can’t do this, Emmet.”

Emmet took a moment to consider his twin, then released their linked arm to rest it over Ingo’s shoulders and steer them back around.

“I will not ask you to. We are taking the day off.”

As soon as that last barrier between them was gone, Ingo all but attached himself to his brother’s side, leaving a stark, continuous line between their contrasting coats.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t--”

“Shouldn’t worry about it.” Emmet finished for him, an air of finality to it that brokered no further apology. “Expressing your limits is an important skill. I am verrrry proud of you.”

There was a soft noise of dissent, but Ingo didn’t argue and, instead, sunk further into his upturned collar.

When they made it through the front door, Sneasler blinked at them from her perch on the back of the couch, puzzled by their early return. Within two breaths, however, she picked up on Her Person’s distress and hurried over, fussing at Ingo’s collar in an attempt to get a clear look at his face.

It was a wonderful gesture, coming from a place of love.

Unfortunately, it was also incredibly close to Ingo’s hazy recollection of his rescue from the depths of the Alabaster Icelands, and he rasped a [adj] sob.

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! masterchef au (second-gen captains vs. first-years edition)

hello my brain made another thing again. to check out the first masterchef au (captains vs. setters) just click here

due to popular demand, masterchef is hosting another team challenge with volleyball nerds

they had to pay gordon a bit more and ensure the freezer is available at all times in case he needs to hide

so we have team second-gen captains with shirabu, akaashi, yahaba, taketora, ennoshita, and futakuchi

then team first-years with goshiki, lev, koganegawa, hinata, tsukishima, and kindaichi

shirabu is back to win while akaashi had to be patted down to make sure he's not sneaking another rat in

team first years look very nervous except for probs tsukki and goshiki

hinata is always out of frame because all his team members are so tall

they give him a box to stand on while he's cooking and suddenly he's taller than kindaichi

when the time starts, team second-gen are off cooking like pros

HAHAHA JK

most of them have never been to a kitchen

yahaba's poking an onion with the tip of his knife

yahaba: this,,, this isn't how its like in cooking mama

taketora: yah, no shit

ennoshita's washing the dishes and futakuchi tries to tell him he doesn't need to until he realizes that maybe washing the dishes is all he can do

over in team first-years they have Absolutely No Clue

and then hinata's like 'wHY dON'T wE mAKE sOUFFLE'

koganegawa and lev: Y E A H 🤘🤘🤘

none of them know how

everyone else did contemplate helping them but its more fun watching lev crack an entire egg, shell and all, into a bowl and take out the shell bits after

gordon, realizing its going to be a repeat of last time: *surprised pikachu face

kindaichi: do we,,, have a plan tho ???

tsukishima: *pats mysterious bulge in his jacket pocket* we got a back-up plan

meanwhile team second-gen is standing in a circle still trying to figure out what to do

and then futakuchi brings out an alexa device (idk wat these are called im poor)

futakuchi: we must consult a higher power

gordon: is he allowed to do that?

producer: this is a no-rules match

futakuchi: alexa, how do u boil an egg?

taketora: no alexa. play despacito

alexa: *plays despacito*

*cut to montage of futakuchi beating up taketora with despacito playing in the background*

ennoshita: what if,, we jus make a salad? just throw a bunch of leaves and crunchy bread cubes in there?

akaashi: did u mean,,, croutons?

yahaba: i shall make the crunchy bread cubes

shirabu: i'll chop the leaves

akaashi: like how u chopped your bANGS?

taketora and ennoshita have to stop shirabu from killing akaashi

meanwhile lev, kogane, and hinata are working on their ✨✨~~souffle~~✨✨

except kogane and lev keep accidentally spilling stuff on hinata because our li'l guy is li'l

gordon: their souffle actually looks pretty decent and by that i mean it looks half-burnt and barely edible

they're so proud of it tho

that is until they're all carrying it to the front when lev accidentally trips and throws the souffle up in the air 

its heading straight to kogane and his Setter Instincts kicks in and he sets. the. souffle

and its heading straight to hinata whose Spiker Instincts kick in

shirabu, watching the entire thing happen: alexa, play mm watcha say

im sorry idk the name of the song

alexa: ~~mm watcha sayyyyyy~~

hinata: *spikes the souffle into the ground*

goshiki: so whats plan B?

tsukishima: *reaches into his jacket* instant mac and cheese

goshiki: good enough

kindaichi's really good at making mac and cheese if that’s possible

like the macaroni is cooked perfectly and all

meanwhile in team setter someone has managed to burn the salad leaves

it was actually ennoshita but he blamed it on futakuchi and everyone believed him

taketora: now we only have crunchy bread cubes

yahaba: this is so sad. alexa play--

shirabu: NO ALEXA DONT PLAY DESPACITO THIS ISN'T OVER

futakuchi: WE ONLI HAV CRUNCHY BREAD CUBES

shirabu: BUT WE ALSO HAV RAT CHEF !! *points at akaashi*

ennoshita: he didn't bring ratatouille with him

akaashi: his name is remy not ratatouille omg u fake fan

taketora: what if,,, someone sat on akaashi's shoulders,,, and pulled his hair to control him like remy???

all of the next-gen captains who have lost braincells at this point: 🆗️🆒️

so yahaba mounts akaashi's shoulders and u kno,,, does the rat chef thing except both of them are flailing around

kindaichi, watching from the other table: alexa, play the ratatouille theme song

*insert montage of yahaba and akaashi flailing around with the ratatouille theme song playing in the background*

i hope y'all can picture is in ur heads as well as i can because it has the dynamism of a renaissance painting

also did i mention that tsukki smuggled in dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets?

he's frying them with a smol smile on his face

hinata took a picture of it

goshiki's doing the plating and he's arranging all the dinosaur nuggets around a wad of mac and cheese

kindaichi grating fresh parmesan on top

 it looks spectacular

koganegawa and lev eat one of the dino nuggets and tsukki s C R E A M S

kindaichi’s trying to calm tsukki down while goshiki drags koganegawa and lev into the freezer

which stresses gordon out because the freezer was supposed to be his place

have rat chef akaashi and yahaba managed to cook something?

no they both fell to the floor

and are contemplating their life decisions

akaashi: i miss remy

yahaba: me too man

futakuchi and ennoshita decide to add peanut butter and jelly on a plate and sprinkle the crunchy bread cubes on top

and now the judging begins

gordon: *looking at team second-gen's dish* what are you?

taketora: a deconstructed pb & j sandwich

gordon: and there's no way i'm eating this mac and cheese it looks terrible

tsukishima: i thought you'd be used to it with the food from your country

shirabu: *keying 911 into a microwave* hello, police? i'd like to report a m u r d e r

im sorry british food sucks except for like fish and chips which are only good sometimes

gordon: did this child just sass me? 

in the end he chooses team second-gen as the winner but its not because they cooked the best dish but because he feels bad for yahaba and akaashi

also because tsukki sassed him

futakuchi: alexa, play despacito again

also the microwave explodes

koganegawa and lev are still locked in the freezer

(check out pt. 1 feat. captains vs. setters)

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

ahahahaha i was gonna write up a thingie about the alien guns and the fleshy vault monsters (you know because my theory that the eridians experimented on them then locked them up to suffer gains more proof the more I play) but as i was looking for references of alien weapons some official concept art did it for me in one picture so BLESS

so ahhhh idk i dont think if the eridians were that scared of the destroyer that they’d use it to make a series of weapon parts. just my two cents

NICE

yeah ofc the only thing written is ‘relates to vault monsters’ but that’s still a connection. 

plus the black/gray rocks are confirmed to be “eridian rocks” meaning that those rocks we see on the Destroyer in its official design, on the guns, making up the eridian fabricator, and all over the temples and vaults are all officially Eridian in design and are not just random rocks they found and used while making stuff

like these

and these :)

so the rampager probably is supposed to resemble an alien gun like so

teeth and horns and all

the destroyer really does look like just any other fleshy vault monster, eridian rocks and all jutting out of its pink/red fleshy bits. 

even has the same style of wings as the rampager just less ‘finished’

i still wanna know if these guys were created/mutated or not. i feel like that’d fit a lot of puzzle pieces together. 

i would bet they were at the very least experimented on, as nyriad says the eridians were curious to a horrible level so them creating these monsters then locking them away in vaults would not surprise me in the slightest (as ive stated like a billion times before i know im sorry). esp. with the destroyer being afraid of getting injected with slag. like. why else would it be scared

then these alien guns officially unofficially being connected to the vault monsters just kinda seals the deal there. if you were so afraid of the destroyer eating all of you and it wasn’t (somehow) a creation or experiment of yours when the f did you find the time and proximity (without being eaten) to build weapon parts based off of it.

and... portal parts to another dimension where humans go when they die, apparently.

hear me out: one giant pink fleshy monster conveniently covered in eridian rocks and teeth with an affinity to the elements is a coincidence. Three of them? Two from one game (Rampager, Gythian)? noooot so much.

so im still convinced they just locked these monsters away and peaced tf out and that was it, they left us and the guardians to fend for ourselves knowing damn well what humanity was gonna do when people started getting fed to a magic portal.

speaking of magic portals, note that the Machine is not only powered by the sacrifice of the Eridians (for some reason), but also the Vaults we visit thru power conduits connecting all of them. And isnt it funny that when we attempt to use the Machine, we explicitly don’t have to kill anyone to do so. And isn’t it funny funny that when Tannis studies it, the first thing she does is make a portal to teleport us somewhere different?

also on Minos Prime, when the Guardians send all the humans somewhere else (probably aren’t dead because Tannis says they just VANISHED, not died), is it possible they were trying to recreate the use of the Machine to close Pandora since the Destroyer had Tyreen slip its chains? If so, then them teleporting all of Minos Prime somewhere kinda makes sense, since the Eridians clearly aren’t dead and just teleported themselves home, away from their problems. fuckers.

okay im sorry i won’t get into it i won’t get into it any further you KNOW i’ll be here for weeks rewriting my old theories. go check out this post if you’re interested in all that. changing the topic now...

regarding the og picture, i had no idea the eridian rocks were based off tourmaline! i’d been curious about what they were made of since they were so weirdly shaped ever since my bl2 playthru when i really got into the lore. so much to crunchy in my brain now

i wonder... if schorl is what the base rock is based off of right...

eheh nice

Core could be based on quite a few of those since it appears to be either pure green (in the mines of Ashfall Peaks) or a mixture of green and purple (perhaps core energy taints eridium deposits?) but the other three (Eridian Crystal (red), Eridium, and Moonstone) are all pretty clear to me

something fun to think about for another time, im exhausted from today

[blue-bird-kny]

This is my first time requesting, sorry if it’s a bit unorganized. I’d like to request a soulmate AU in which you can taste whatever your soulmate is eating with Nemi. If possible, the reader is tired of tasting ohagis so they eat bitter melon to piss him off. This is on your choice to write but if you do, thank you so much!

This request was too cute to pass up so thank you and enjoy!~Amanda (Image creds to artist)

Warning: Language 

( 1k+ words)

“Touches and Taste Buds”

Over the years, you’ve learned to hate the taste of red bean paste. It’s not because it isn’t delicious, because it most definitely is, but because your damn soulmate seemed to only enjoy that one flavor. At first, when you began tasting the same things as your soulmate, you thought it was so cool how you both shared the same taste buds. As time passed though, every time your mouth filled with the taste of red bean paste, you wanted to kill whoever was doing this to you.

They ate it at all times of day and it was infuriating. Even though they��ve ruined the sweet taste of Ohagi, you’ve always been very patient with them. However patients could only last so long and yours was beginning to wear thin. Sometimes you wondered if others had as much trouble with their soulmates, if they too had such a monotonous eater that drove them crazy.

“I swear once we meet, I’m going to make you eat every damn thing this world has to offer before you eat Ohagi again” you always vowed to yourself. Clearly your soulmate wasn’t aware that other food groups existed. It felt as though they rarely ate anything else

It’s been a very long, strenuous day of training with Gyomei. He’d taken you under his guidance in order to make you a better demon slayer, but he was one tough mentor. The demon slayer headquarters had a mess hall of sorts, a place where demon slayers who weren’t on call could come and eat freely. “I’m so hungry I could eat their kitchen clean” you rubbed your growling stomach as you filled your plate with the various foods they had spread out.

You decided to sit alone; you weren’t necessarily a social person as is, but especially now all you needed was a nice, warm meal. You raised the spoonful to your lips, mouth watering, “nothing could ruin this”.

You thought too quickly because just as the spoon reached your mouth, the familiar taste of Ohagi filled your taste buds. You dropped your food on your plate, gagging as the taste seemed to overwhelm your senses. “I’ve had enough! Just who do they think they are!” you bitterly thought as you gathered all your tools of torture and revenge.

You rubbed your hands together evilly as you decided on which food you’d eat first. In front of you neatly lay your means of revenge; a cup of vinegar, some bitter melon, and a spicy pepper you’d managed to find.

“Okay let's start small” you grabbed the cup of vinegar, bringing it up to your lips almost like it was a shot. You squirmed as its sour taste crawled over your skin and burned your throat. It was gross, you couldn't deny that, but if somewhere in this world your soulmate was tasting it too, it was worth it.

Next, you picked up a slice of the bitter melon. You griminced as you fiddled with the food; its crunchy outside contrasting its soft, water-like inside. “In the name of revenge” you thought as you bit the nasty food. You held onto the table for support as you swallowed, breathing deeply to compose yourself. There was some sort of commotion happening some tables behind you, but you ignored it, assuming it was some group of idiots messing around.

Finally you reached the spicy pepper. You were actually less nervous about this one because, unlike your soulmate, you ate a variety of food, especially spicy food. You placed the peppers tip between your teeth, chomping down on the vegetable. You marveled at the crunch it made as you chewed, the heat already beginning to spread over your tongue and lips, causing an almost numbing sensation.

“What the hell is wrong with that bitch?!” someone yelled behind you. You turned to find the wind Hashira, his cheeks red and his tongue hanging outside of his mouth. “What's his problem?” you thought as you watched the angry man throw a fit. Your mouth  became dry as you noticed something on the floor; when Sanemi had stood up, he knocked his plate of food on the floor, balls of Ohangi scattered everywhere.

“Holy Shit, it's you” the words slipped  from your mouth before you could even stop them. Sanemi noticed your blant starring and growled “The fuck you looking at!”. You stood on quivering legs, gently picking up your cup of water as you walked to the infuriated man. He was almost frightening like this, eyes crazed and fuming, not to mention he was taller than you.

“Here you go, this should help with the spice” you lifted the cup as an offering, almost as an apology. He snached it without a word, downing the whole thing in a few hard gulps. He slammed the now empty cup on the table, breaking it. All eyes fell on you two, him staring at you murderously and you staring right back at him defiantly. “I will fucking kill you all” he threatened the room, causing everyone to go back to their meals. “Hey!” you yelled as he pulled you by your collar outside where there were less people, “You’re coming with me” his voice was low and tense.

Outside he released you, staring down at you “You must be the idiot that did that to me so what the hell’s your problem?” he crossed his arms over his chest, fully expecting an answer. “Excuse me I’m not an idiot, I’m your soulmate. And what the hell is YOUR problem, always eating Ohagi. The taste alone makes me want to gag!” you retorted.

“You shit-head! You did all this just because I eat Ohagi? Unbelievable”

“You know what I’ve had a long day and you already ruined my dinner, I’m leaving” you didn’t want to deal with his bullshit tonight, so you left. “Fuck this!” he yelled and walked in the opposite direction. His ears were red and his heart was racing, but it wasn’t from the spicy pepper.

That night, Sanemi couldn’t sleep. Every ounce of him hated to admit it, but you did things to him. He wasn’t stupid; he knows what it means when someone causes your heart to beat quickly. It was different from when he was in battle, you didn’t cause his heart to beat like that, but  instead you caused it to soar. Nobody has ever stood up to him like that, with such power and determination; it was hot.

The next day, you woke up staved. Leaving your room, you tried to get some food before there were too many people. Inside, you made your way to get food only to be stopped  by a rough hand. “Excuse me-” you started as you saw Sanemi standing in front of you, it was too early for his bullshit. “Here” he rushed, shoving a plate of food in your face. Surprisingly it held all your favorites, “I remember tasting this so I figured that's what you ate” he muttered, his face was turned away from yours but you knew he was blushing. You smiled, gratefully accepting the plate “Thank You”.

“Whatever” he turned to leave but you stopped him, pulling lightly on his haori. “I can’t eat all this food by myself you know” you said, silently urging him to stay. He thought for a second, would it be so bad? He decided it wouldn’t and sat down at the nearest table, he gestured for you to sit “Well?”. You couldn’t help but laugh at his abrasiveness, in a way, it was cute. He grabbed a stem of grapes off your plate, popping them into his mouth one by one.

You two sat there talking for a while, the room empty and food long gone. Sanemi knew it was unlike himself to be so complacent and open with another person, but you made him feel comfortable and at ease; it was nice. “You know you’ve really ruined Ohagi for me” you commented, the two of you needed to get going, you both had jobs to do after all. “Well you do know how soulmates get rid of their taste bud connection, right? He smirked. Your breath was caught in your throat as he moved closer to you, his arm gripped your waist  as he towered over you. “It happens when their tongues touch” he whispered teasingly. Warmth spreads over your cheeks and down your neck, your breathing sped up at this intimate position. Regaining your senses, you pushed his face away in embarrassment, “Sanemi you idiot!” you called walking away. Sanemi laughed as he knew you didn’t mean it. He also knew you two would meet again. After all, you hated the taste of Ohagi and he happened to have a strong craving for the both of you.

Main Masterlist

Idk why but the idea that there is a cafeteria in the demon slayers HQ is so funny to me, I had to include it. Anyways, I hope you all liked it, please read my other works if you did. Stay safe~Amanda

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Things i bought with the stimmy: (aka this is how boring i am irl)

Tiny forks and spoons (they have clovers on the handle idk either) ((omg they’re out for delivery today yay tiny forks and spoons! So Tiny!!!)

Some blue pans

Electric toothbrushes for everybody yay!! I love toothbrushes 😂

A shitload of new underwear because you cant have too many good underwear

MORE coffee, but like a bigger than normal order with some new tea to try too. (I like Angelino’s because its like a no pressure subscription/membership but like there’s no downside to it at all, you just buy it when you want and they send it to you and its good ass shit, its so good guys my favorite is Sumatra dark but I’ll get down with all of it except for Kona i dont like the Kona)

(Warning very long rant about cars)

Also i think we are paying off my car there isnt much left on it and my husband wants to buy an Acura because we are Honda hoes. We are also very practical people and that’s about as much as we are willing to spend on a car. He looked at Audi and quickly noped right the fuck out of that and it reminded me of Baekhyun and his stupid expensive car. He also liked this one car from Genesis but I’m like ‘that’s a polished up Hyundai do you reallly want to betray honda for a Hyundai?’ And he closed the site but he keeps going back to look at it. I wont let him buy that. No way. It’s pretty on the outside but i dont feel confident in Hyundai. Sorry Koreans. Oh Subaru is like....quality shit? But they’re boring. They’re boring. The Acura is boring too. Why are cars so boring?

Honestly i havent been excited about a car since i bought my Honda Fit in 2011, which i still have by the way, its the panda, it had all these stickers on it, a bunch of kpop stickers and then my husband bought an HRV in 2017 and gave it to me even though there was nothing wrong with my fit i didnt want a new car, but anyway he took the fit and has been driving it every day and he talks bad about the fit like “it has this smell inside” and I’m like ‘duh its a decade old leave it alone” and hes like “and you cant even take your fooot off the brake at all cause it’s like “OH SHIT WE GOING?!?!” Because DUH THE FIT IS GO, thats what it likes to do, its easy to go but kinda hard to stop.

Anyway the shocks are sounding kinda crunchy lately so i guess we should decide if we are keeping it or what. It’s paid off and runs like a champ and still wants to go go go, its a very good car. Meanwhile the HRV is like “HI! I AM A MOM. MY NAME IS MOM. That’s it. That’s my whole identity.” But guess what? It’s mine. It’s black and gets dirty easily and has NO kpop stickers at all even tho when i was bitching about my kpop stickers being gone hes all “put some on the HRV” and like...for what?!?!?!?!? I do not feel attached to that thing. Yes I’m just bitter give me back my fit goddammit i dont care if it has this smell inside, why does it have this smell? Is it just old? Ive had it detailed inside before a few times and the smell just comes back i think its just like a grandma smell. It’s in the air vents. I wonder if something weird happened inside there once.

Oh so back to new cars. So then he was like ‘should i just wait for the new bronco?’ And i saw it, its cute af. It’s cute like a Jeep Wrangler is cute but its new so there arent any yet even though there should be by now what the fuck, chop chop. The other thing is...its a ford. 😂 like in all honesty I’d rather get a Hyundai than a ford. Domestic? Are you serious? In this economy? Those are disposable cars. Ford hahahahhahahahahahahaha sorry to any ford enthusiasts but we arent’ our own mechanics we cant keep that thing going. I’m going to gently steer him toward the boring old Acura. He also mentioned a truck but 🤢 please, we live in the suburbs.

[into1-wonderland]

Baby!Into1 x Daycare au | Intro

(ft. Bo Yuan as the caretaker of the 10 chaotic bunch, ranging from the ages of 3-5)

a/n: hello hello yumi here~ so this is the first into1 au of mine that will ever see the light of day. at first I was going to write things for it, but honestly I'm going to make it into a series with incorrect quotes to attach with it. this post will be the bios of all the babies and our lovely caretaker Bo Yuan, so enough of me babbling and I hope you guys could enjoy~

First off, we have the Caretaker™ Bo Yuan:

my mans is like in his 20's rn

wanted to open up a little day care as like side job/internship because he wanted to teach kids in the future so he was like “might as well start working with kids now!”

and so

he did it

only regretted his life decisions when his devil number 1 and devil number 2 does something bad

other times he really enjoy looking after them! and he doesn’t even feel like it’s a job!

has been thinking about taking a field trip with all 10 of them but he’s afraid: 1) he might lose one 2) he might lose himself 3) can they behave themselves

his favorite thing to do is having all of them gather around while reading a fairytale to them for nap time

or sometimes he would sing a song

he has a lot of favorite things in day care, literally having all 10 of them just there makes him happy

except when lin mo and nine is having a scream off:

lin mo: ahh

nine: aHH

lin mo: AHH

nine: AHHHHH-

bo yuan, running into the room: what’s wrong?

ak: screaming

bo yuan: why?

patrick, with his hands over his ears: TO SEE WHOS LOUDER

all the other boys: *nods*

isnt always watching the kids 24/7, since day 1 when the kids came in he told them the rules of the daycare and kinda just let them familiarize the place

(bo yuan: its a daycare, and they are kids, they are suppose to have fun!

keyu, in the back, mumbles: i wanna climb the tree in the yard

bo yuan, turns around: keyu no)

///////////

And now we have the kids!!

Liu Yu:

4 years old

very quiet, just likes to sit and read and draw

the most obedient one, and likes to follow around bo yuan

well,, most of the time

he’s played a few pranks on bo yuan like:

bo yuan: liu yu nap time is over you have to wake up

liu yu: *not moving*

bo yuan, gently nudged liu yu: liu yu wake up!

liu yu: *continues to fake sleep and not move*

bo yuan: *leans closer to liu yu’s face to make sure hes not sick or has a fever*

liu yu, scares bo yuan: WAH

bo yuan: liu yu dont do that! you scared me!

liu yu: *giggles*

likes to stretch and bend himself in odd positions

(bo yuan: everyday I’m in fear that he will snap himself in half)

kinda an introvert but once he hangs around everyone for a bit he will open up to them and fit himself in very well

likes to organize and keep things how he found them/have special places where he organizes his toys

jiayuan: *moves liu yu’s fan*

liu yu: hey! put that back!!

has really good etiquettes and never really fights or argues or bicker with the other kids

but likes to joke around and mess around with once in a while

patrick: wahhh i put my cupcakes here who took one!

liu yu, hiding it behind his back: idk maybe keyu took it?

the least of bo yuan’s worries since he’s always in bo yuan’s sight, also he’s aware of his surroundings so he actually helps bo yuan make sure everything’s okay

(bo yuan: i made a checklist for myself on the whiteboard and liu yu likes to check things off for me, he said “coloring in the boxes is fun” so now he's the reason why i get all my work done)

-----------

Santa:

4 years old

riki’s best friend

super happy and bright, like a ray of sunshine

is easily scared

lin mo: hi

santa: WAHHHHH BO YUAN GEGE

really likes bo yuan, would stick on to him a lot and ask him about everything

santa: bo yuan gege whats this?

santa: bo yuan gege what’s that?

santa: bo yuan gege what are you making right now?

hangs out with liu yu and mika a lot (other than riki)

riki is older than him but would hold riki’s hand and take him around like a didi

also really likes racing with mika for E V E R Y T H I N G

(bo yuan: yeah couple days ago they tried to race who can fall asleep faster but because they kept on peeking at each other so they basically didn’t sleep till i said i’ll watch for them)

really likes to dance, every time he hears music he would start grooving around

loves learning new things, which is probably the reason why he always asks bo yuan so many questions

also least one of bo yuan’s worries, just gotta make sure jiayuan and lin mo don’t pull pranks on him

(bo yuan: well they dont really pull prank pranks, its just once lin mo grabbed a frog and started running around and showing it to everyone, but lin mo lost grip and the frog jumped on santa)

-----------

Rikimaru:

5 years old

looks like he’s 3, acts like he’s 3, but is actually 5

best friends with santa! always sticks around him and likes to tug on a corner of his shirt out of habit

bo yuan: alright everyone it’s nap time! i’ve made the beds for everyone

riki, sees his bed is not next to santa: bo yuan gege can you switch my bed next to santa? i wanna be next to santa

he didn’t start speaking till he was 4 so he often stutters when he talk and just looks confused a lot (it's because he’s thinking and formulating his words)

santa and the other kids would always have to interpret for him

bo yuan: riki I brought some snacks today do you want cookies or marshmallows?

riki: ???

santa, motioning with his hands: bo yuan gege said do you want the white fluffies or brown crunchies

riki: oh! crunchies!

squishy cheeks,, bo yuan’s favorite thing is to squish his cheek everytime he sees him

riki: gud mooning bo yuan gege!

bo yuan, squishes riki’s cheeks: ahh I haven’t seen you in so long good morning!!

nine: wait wasnt riki here yesterday??

also likes to stretch,, often seen around with liu yu and they just help each other

(bo yuan: i am afraid he will snap himself in half too)

not too much of bo yuan’s worries, besides the fact that he might get kidnapped because he’s so oblivious

(bo yuan: we were playing outside in the yard once and riki just wandered off because he thought the neighbor’s flowers were pretty)

-----------

Mika:

4 years old

also kinda an introvert, doesn’t interact with too many people

usually it’s santa that approaches him first or keyu^^

found a ukulele in the toy bin one time and wouldn’t let go of it (he claims it’s his now)

his favorite activity at daycare is when they all sing together, that’s when he smiles the most and has the most fun

the one that likes to nap the most

also likes to help bo yuan cook once in a while (mostly just having mika washing vegetables and passing things to bo yuan)

very laid back and not noisy (till he starts playing the ukulele)

often gets scared by lin mo’s sudden screams (actually, lin mo scares a lot of people, sorry to mika’s ears)

also not one of bo yuan’s worries, literally there’s nothing to worry about with mika, all the kids just likes to sit around mika and pet his head so he keeps everyone safe

(bo yuan: one time I couldn’t find any of the kids in the play room, apparently they were all in the napping corner petting mika’s head since he just got a hair cut)

-----------

Nine:

4 years old

loud, very loud.

pouts a lot

everyone calls nine cute, even the boys who are younger than him

likes to boss around patrick because he’s older

nine: patrick gimme that juice box!

patrick: you’re closer you get it!

nine: i’m older than you!

literally scared of everything

if he hasn’t seen it before and it’s living, he’s scared

jiayuan: *holds a bowl of tadpoles*

nine, several feet away: WAHHH WHAT IS THAT

the happiest when he gets snacks + real food food

also really likes to sing!! his favorite thing is watching disney movies because there’s so much music in it and he just loves to sing along

he’s not part of bo yuan’s worries because he’s literally scared of everything, but nine is really naive and would do things that the other kids tell him to do so, it’s a 50/50 on nine

(bo yuan: there was an edible decorative flower on keyu’s birthday cake couple days ago, and somehow jiayuan convinced nine all flowers were edible. so today during outside time nine almost ate the neighbor’s flowers)

-----------

Lin Mo:

3 years old

LOUD. VERY LOUD.

probably the craziest most hyper one out of them all

he and jiayuan always have something bad planned

literally doesn’t have a moment where he’s calm

constantly in bickering mode with ak

lin mo: NO IM RIGHT

ak: NO. IM RIGHT

patrick: what are they arguing about?

keyu: *shrugs*

but is also best friends with ak so he’s also calm around him

(bo yuan: yeah these two have on and off days, you can never predict it)

and also constantly naruto runs around the daycare

bo yuan: lin mo stop running!

lin mo: *nyoom*

he also once nyoomed into keyu

keyu: ow what was that for?

lin mo: you were in my way!

and now he nyooms into keyu for fun

a very good mood maker

likes to smile/laugh a lot

would calm down if you show him a movie or a cartoon

number 2 on bo yuan’s worry list because he’s the "bad influence" for everyone, also he reduces hearing for everyone

(bo yuan: i’ve secretly made a tally book on how many times i have to say “lin mo” in a concerning tone this week and he came in 2nd. he was only here for like 3 days!)

-----------

Zhang Jiayuan:

3 years old

YOURE THREE STOP SMIRKING LIKE THAT

couple months younger than lin mo but this is the real culprit under a lot of his and lin mo‘s plans

it’s just because jiayuan has a lot of crazy ideas and he says them out loud and lin mo is just like “yes”

also sometimes they are just accidents, but he's always doing weird questionable things with lin mo

got really sad one time because he brought tadpoles and put them in the fish tank and killed them since the fish went nom

but then started to constantly catch for tadpoles to feed the fishes

bo yuan: jiayuan stop, you’re killing the frog population!

jiayuan: but the fishies are hungry *pouts*

likes to fight/mess around with keyu for no reason

keyu: *sitting there, drawing*

jiayuan, with a squishy hammer: *bops keyu’s head*

but also will protect keyu if anyone tries to mess with him

lin mo: *nyooms into keyu for the 3rd time of the day* jiayuan, hugs keyu: stop hurting him!

the calmest thing he likes to do is taking care of plants, probably because he saw bo yuan spraying the plants one time and he like to squeeze the spray bottle

number 1 on bo yuan’s worry list, this child is literally not safe alone or with anyone. they were trying to celebrate keyu’s birthday and jiayuan tried to touch the candles, while it was lit, by the flame.

(bo yuan: i just got the tablets and haven’t set up children mode, so i’ll take the blame for this one. but also why are kids so good with technologies nowadays??)

-----------

Patrick:

3 years old

squishy :D

smiley :DD

favorite thing is nap time and snack time

somehow knows every location where bo yuan hides their snacks

bo yuan: *getting the snacks that he hid in the piano*

patrick: *sitting next to the window sill with the snack* hi~

of course bo yuan can never get mad at patrick for eating the snacks because patrick doesn’t do anything bad

also he's a growing child

best friends with keyu,, and drags him on to “adventures”

*the daycare got a new toy play house*

patrick: bo yuan gege, keyu and I are moving out so we can go on an adventure!

keyu: I didnt agree to this??

wants bo yuan to add dress up into the daycare games, since he wants to dress up the other boys in the daycare

patrick: i call it, patrick fashion!

not part of bo yuan’s worries till he’s on his hunt for the hidden snacks, just because bo yuan is afraid he might hurt himself

(bo yuan: i started hiding the snacks higher up and one time i saw him trying to climb on keyu’s shoulders to grab it)

-----------

Zhou Keyu:

3 years old

smart, but really clueless at the same time

tall, but has the personality of smol

likes to draw

also likes to read with patrick,, but usually patrick falls asleep so it’s him, the book, and a sleeping patrick

wears glasses all the time since his vision isn’t so good but somehow he makes glasses look good on him???

has a chain with his glasses because there too many glasses incident with keyu

glasses #1 keyu: I don’t like them! *takes it off and loses it*

glasses #2 keyu: *takes them off for nap time, but riki accidentally rolled on to them and snapped it*

glasses # we don’t know how many: *disconnected from the keyu universe*

also like a month younger than lin mo but literally has to make sure lin mo doesnt “blow” the place up

lin mo: what if I stuck this fork into the pluggie thing?

keyu, picking lin mo up: nope you’re not

when keyu is clueless he either stands there or just sit there and space out, not really noticeable but bo yuan ran into him doing that a couple times

(bo yuan: I thought he was an ai that was malfunctioning, it scared me at first but now I know he just doesn’t remember what he’s doing)

oh did I mention this,, even though he’s one of the youngest, he’s the tallest, with that advantage he likes to try to pick people up

jiayuan: keyu pick me up!

keyu: no

patrick: keyu likes me more he will pick me up!

keyu: no

patrick: *pouts*

keyu: *tries to pick both jiayuan and patrick up at the same time*

bo yuan, running over: ZHOU KEYU PUT THEM DOWN YOULL BREAK YOURSELF

not too high up on bo yuan’s worry list, give him a piece of paper or book or anything he would just calmly sit there and do something with it

(bo yuan: every time when we do art or reading its so hard to pry keyu away, he has to finish what he was doing and he’s so concentrated he doesn’t hear anybody)

-----------

Liu Zhang (AK):

4 years old

loud, VERY LOUD.

he doesn’t know he’s loud

bo yuan: ak you don’t have to yell

ak: OKAY

monopolized over all the instrument music type of toys in the daycare

bo yuan: ak you know you have to share your toys right?

ak: I gave the ukulele to mika

honestly having ak is like having a walking megaphone so bo yuan ended up actually making ak his little helper for announcements

bo yuan: ak go tell everyone is lunch time

ak: alright!

ak: *da da da running to fetch his little stool*

ak, stands on a little stool in the middle of the play room: ITS LUNCH TIMEEEEEE-

nine, swats ak’s leg: YOU SCARED ME

the only time ak is quiet is when he’s around lin mo, he kinda just likes to watch lin mo and follow him around so that’s that

unless lin mo starts messing with him, then you just lose your hearing for the day

also at first bo yuan was trying to see what ak is interested in, and he taught ak hot cross buns on the bells and thought that would calm ak down,, but oops ak ended up making more noises

patrick: I WANNA SLEEP AK

(bo yuan: I swear something happened to this kid or something. he’s not hard of hearing but he’s just naturally so loud)

i too would lose my hearing if im around ak so much

not to high on bo yuan’s worries but he just make sure ak isn’t being too loud and bothering the other kids, usually he’s pretty good about that but you never know when a little patrick will start napping or anyone really so gotta contain his energy

(bo yuan: ak is usually the first one that’s awake from nap time but its usually like 5-10min before everyone else so i told him he can go and play but he just has to be quiet)

///////////

alrighty !! now you've met everyone in the daycare, what kind of fun and chaotic adventures are they going to have??

(all future daycare au things will be incorrect quotes + short little one shots, this intro mostly served as a bio so you understand their personalities a bit, and i hope you enjoyed it!)

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Idk if anybody asked you this but... DOMESTIC MODERN AU WITH KAIGAKU.

ahshahahahaj ANON YOU'RE SO BRAVE, I DROPPED EVERYTHING I'M PLANNING TO WRITE TODAY.

I saw Kaigaku as problematic character at first, from Himejima incident until he became demon. But now, I didn't think he's purely evil.

This dynamic is kinda different from other DomModernAU I wrote, but I really hope you like it when it comes to understanding your partner.

Kaigaku x Reader (Domestic Modern AU)

You met Kaigaku first in high school when he's... Well, let's say, not in so good state. He was all beaten up in the corner of the street, with bruises and scratches everywhere.

You offered him a hand, but he just slapped it out and said, "Get the fuck out."

But, since everybody labelling you with 'Stubborn girl', you didn't give up. He did angry and tried to pulled out his hand when you grabbed it.

"Stay still." You didn't care, you had strength to make him being a good boy and finally, he let you treat his wounds.

You put giraffe figure plaster to cover his scratch on the forehead. "Done. You're Kaigaku, right? I'm (y/n). We're in the same class. I don't know what are you into but please take care of yourself."

You stood up and leave that place, leaving Kaigaku who dumbfoundedly sat there.

It was an old story, and you still wondering how the fuck he could end up stole your heart. You're both university student, and Kaigaku took the same class as you.

And now you wake him up in the morning like a daily couple should be.

"Kaigaku, wake up."

He jumped and sat in no time, yawning and looked at your bed hair.

"Bird nest." He ruffled your hair before went to the bathroom.

After clothings and vice versa, you cooked breakfast. He stared at you silently.

"Is there something matter?"

"Your satin, I don't like it. It's too transparent. Change it to hoodie or something."

"It's just-"

"Change it." You sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. After I finished this one."

He was almost like that everyday, scanning on what you wearing and didn't want you to be flashy. But you know, deep down, he just don't want anything happened to you. He's an overprotective type.

He stood up and hugged you from behind. "Are you mad at me?"

"Guess." You turned off the stove, putting two eggs on the plate and looked up at him.

"Huh, is that a challenge." He kissed you on the lips, light-bite your lower. You bite his upper lips, cupped his cheek, brought him closer.

"Not now." You pushed him while he grinded his hips towards you. "We have class, Kaigaku."

He clicked his tongue and brought the plate after stealing forehead kiss from you.

"Kaigaku is a bad influence. Did you ever consider breaking up with him?"

"There are so much people better than him."

These words were from your daily conversation with your uni's friends. It gradually asked until you become bored of it.

"No."

"But-"

"Do you know the proverb that saying, "Even demon could shed tears too"? He probably looked like a bad guy, but I still believe that he has good side."

You believed in him. And he never break your trust towards him.

He really became tame and good boy when you are around. On the other hand, people were really afraid of him.

But Zenitsu, his only 'friend', didn't really close to him

When Kaigaku took your seat and you queued up on cafeteria, you met Zenitsu. He asked about how you're doing with him.

"I had to admit, I adored your bravery, (y/n)."

"What, no..."

"Everyone distances themselves from him, everyone saying that he forced you into this relationship, but I know he's not and you're different." He scratched his cheek. "Somehow, as his 'friend', I should thank you. Our grandpa really at ease when he knew you're there to make him better."

That's how Kaigaku portraits around him. Scary, malicious, and unscrupulous.

You didn't pity him nor change him fully, you know you aren't God, you can't change human's trait easily as flipped your palm.

But instead, you taught about kindness, adoration, gratitude and appreciation. Slowly, but steadily, until he understanded the essential of being alive.

And having a partner.

That's how you live and you don't want to be bothered by some merely comments and opinions.

Simple, you love him because he's Kaigaku.

Kaigaku probably wasn't romantic type but he always made sure to give you enough affections everyday.

Like, on day-off, he baked apple pie out of nowhere, and shoved it on your face.

"Eat."

"You made this?"

"Ya." You take a bite, feeling the crunchiness on outside and melted inside.

"This is great, it's delicious! I don't know you could make apple pie."

"Well." He became smug. "I know I could cook better than you."

"Then, you should cook for dinner instead of me."

"No, I don't want to, I'm lazy."

"You little dipshit." He laughed while putting the plate on the table.

"Beside, I love your cooking more than anything else." He mumbled.

"Hm? You said something."

"Nothing, wipe your mouth geez."

He's actually smart and often taught you on exam when you met difficulties, but you had to hold your grudge to punch him because he often called you "Dummy" whenever you asked him about a question you don't understand.

But in the end, his teaching method is the best for your dumb brain.

And scolding, he's more garrulous, even more than your mom. He would correct almost everything wrong on your life.

Which one life's is being 'corrected' right now, you're so confused.

Sometimes, both of you went on date. But not really often, because he growled at people who stared at you for too long. You just chuckled, because you thought he's like a dog or wolf and he became flustered. He thought you didn't deem it seriously.

You literally didn't have to do anything, just smile everyday, and it will make him soft.

He always picked you up from your night shift part-time work.

Because one time you went home alone, he's panicked because you didn't pick his call nor came home on time. So he hurriedly went to the convenience store you worked on.

And you were there just in time before closing the store.

"Kaigaku, why are you here?" He rushed and hugged you, put his head on your shoulder. You could feel him trembling. "Calm down, okay? It's not like-"

"You didn't pick my phone! I thought there's something happened to you! I- I couldn't-"

"I'm sorry." You caressed him back. "There are so many things I had to sort on. That's why I came home late. I forgot to bring my charger with me. Sorry for making you worry."

After that, he will wait for you in front of the store while gazing at the sky. When you finished, you went home together with him.

He often told his problem and people who nag on him when it's dinner time. Sometimes, you listening, sometimes you gave your opinion. Nothing much.

If there are no assignments, you sleep earlier with him. He likes to put his nose on your crook, or your chest. The inside beat made him happy, knowing you still beside him until today.

You usually slept first.

He awoke at night, not feeling sleepy at all, so he just stared at your peacefully sleeping face, while slowly caressing your cheek. He pulled something from his neck, omamori necklace you made for his protection.

It was made by brocade silk bag and the lace was made by satin.

He opened the silk bag, and took a thing from its inside.

Something really precious for him. For the first time in forever, there's something he cherished and protected with his heart.

The giraffe plaster.

[grasslandgirl]

For the ask game F G H R T please!

tysm anna 🥺🥺💖💖

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

ahhhhhh this is SO hard, you’re getting top three sorry not sorry

in no particular order:

1) from I’ve waited and watered my heart ‘til it grew (the magnus archives, jon and martin):

“Georgie told me once- before the Unknowing, before… before we really understood the gravity of everything- that I needed people around me, to anchor me, as it were. To talk to- to all of you, but I think she also meant you, Martin, specifically. You were always there to anchor me, to listen to me, even when you were neck-deep in Lukas’s business. Even- even when I didn’t think I deserved it.”

Martin looked down at Jon, met his inscrutable and unwavering gaze. “You always deserved it, Jon,” he said, with all the conviction he had.

[i just ahhhh i think i really nailed jon’s voice through all of this fic but martin’s line here specifically. that’s it. that’s the crux of all of it i think.]

2) from my unfinished juno steel amnesia fic (the penumbra podcast, juno and rita):

“Amnesia?” Juno mumbled, looking at Rita for confirmation. “I lost… two years?”

“I mean, yeah, Mister Steel, if the last thing you remember was the Robertson case that was two years ago. And that means you don’t remember anything about Mister Ex-Mayor Takano-Flaherty or the THEIA’s or Mister Ransom or- OH!! This reminds me of that one stream we watched, Boss, with the guy who had his brain sucked out by aliens only they weren’t aliens they were actually a super secret government agency taking away people’s memories; but oh, no, I guess you can’t remember that either, because we watched that one after the case where that lady’s cat exploded after you lost your eye and you were still all sad about Mister Glass again- we should watch that stream, Boss! Especially now that you don’t remember anything either, even though-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, Rita,” Juno said, waving his hand vaguely, “what was- any of that, if I’m being honest. Ransom and the mayor? We blew up somebody’s cat?”

“I mean technically, the cat blew itself up, Boss.”

[did i mention that i LOVE rita penumbrapodcast? cause i LOVE her and i love to write her she’s so fun and her dynamic with juno is So fun to write, she just talks and i get to run away on my keyboard and let her say whatever her salmon-crunchie flavored heart desires <3]

3) from my bad kids fantasy au unposted wip (dimension twenty, fabian and adaine and gorgug):

Fabian frowned at Gorgug, considering. “Gorgug, we need to duel more often. If I’m going to be Captain, I need to know all my competition- even if they’re my best friend.”

“Aww,” Gorgug smiled down at Fabian, “I’m your best friend?”

“What?” Fabian blinked in confusion, before noticing Gorgug’s widening smile. “You dick-” he punched Gorgug in the shoulder- “you nearly got me! Of course we’re best friends, Thistlespring-”

“What about me?” Adaine asked, watching her boys’ friendly scuffle.

“You’re my best friend, too,” Gorgug said eagerly, “I can have more than one best friend.”

“Well I have dozens of best friends,” Fabian said, never one to be out done. “But, uh, I suppose you two are the- the top of the list. Of my many friends.”

[i simply think.... they!! their dynamic is SO choice if i do say so myself, i just think that old childhood best friends is one of the Best dynamics out there and is sorely underutilized and i am taking it upon myself to solve that problem. you’re welcome, world]

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

i HAVE to write my fics in chronological order, from start to finish bc there are always scenes that i really Want to write and if i write those first then i have No drive or focus to write the Rest of the fic or the context that goes with it, so i make myself write chronologically and use the scenes that im really excited to write as a goal and a driving force to get myself through the other, equally important scenes, that i’m less excited about, otherwise the fic sits half-finished and abandoned in my wip folder, never to see the light of day......

H: How would you describe your style?

truly i Could Not Tell You. ive been told i write how i talk which. yeah. but idk how true that is for my fic/fiction writing? i truly don’t know tell me about my writing style im begging you i don’t know what my style is i just write its just there

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

there aren’t any specific writers that i draw regular, constant inspo from, really? i’m lucky to know and be friends with multiple incredibly talented authors (you, anna grace, chief among them of course) and sometimes when i read a really good fic or story ill get inspired by the author’s style or tone and work off of that; but those beats of inspiration aren’t super common and tend to just lead to short little spurts of writing, most of my longer ideas and wips are products of plot and character inspiration, drawing from my life or the original media itself and less from fic or other writing (shoutout to @nojoyinmudville and @cauldronoflove both for writing SO good that it made me write fanfiction for THEIR fanfiction sfjvnksjfbd)

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhhhh not off the top of my head? im a sucker for coffeeshop and bakery aus but they always sort of infuriate me bc you can always tell when theyre written by people who have Never Worked In Food Service nor have they KNOWN anyone who’s worked in food service bc they’re always “im the owner of a very popular, well-trafficked bakery and i’m the owner and also the ONLY EMPLOYEE. I BAKE ALL THE BREAD AND PASTRY MYSELF. AND I RUN THE REGISTER AND THE COUNTER. AND I CLEAN THE WHOLE KITCHEN. AND I DO ALL THE FINANCES AND ORDER FORMS AND LEGAL TAPE. I ALSO HAVE TIME FOR A FUFILLING SOCIAL AND ROMANTIC LIFE. SOMEHOW, I SLEEP SOMETIMES.” plese. im begging u people. use your critical thinking skills. or, if all else fails. GOOGLE HOW WORKING IN A COFFEESHOP WORKS. YOU DON’T WORK 6AM- 8PM SHIFTS SIX DAYS A WEEK WITH ONE COWORKER. YOU HAVE SHIFTS. MORE PEOPLE IN THE RUSH HOURS. YOU HAVE DAYS OFF. ahem. anyway. yeah.

this got. so long sorryyyyyy ksjbskjf but thank you a million anna grace ilyyy 💖💖🤧🤧

send me a fanfic ask!! (my ao3 acc is @/grasslandgirl and is linked in my bio!)