#SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TJ MY LOVE <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[honeyedache]

The Duke had many things to attend to, and the arrival of the one Korbin Vidura was a most unexpected visit. It didn't take quite the most intelligent person to gather the young man was interested in the beauty that was his daughter - and Christopher had seen them himself dancing at the gala. It wasn't that Christopher didn't like the young man - he barely knew him, but it was rather that Christopher did not like any man that looked near his most beautiful jewel. Maude was his precious jewel that he had kept protected over all of these years - and he would not take her marriage and protection lightly. He sipped at his own tea, listening to the young boy with pause as blinked a few times. He looked upon the ring the man had bought - a beautiful one at that, but was it worth what his darling girl was worth? The question alone made the Duke silent - as he had his own plans for what Maude truly deserved. He had arranged a suitor for her, through the friendship of one Lady Alvardo and that was a match that he quite approved of.

Christopher did not know this man.

"Mister Vidura. You understand that my darling Maude is a diamond amongst the season, but a diamond in this world? Her beauty knows no bounds and yet you come here - you come here and sit there and ask boldly for her hand in marriage." He had to chuckle, shaking his head. "You must think me bloody mad if you think I would agree to this. I do not know of your family, I do not know of you. My darling girl is my only girl and I will not allow her to be married to a man I do not know. I am not denying your offer - but perhaps we have much to discuss, do we not?" He cleared his throat, taking a pause.

"You will have to prove yourself plenty worthy first. What is your family's standing as of now - and how will you see to taking care of my Maude? That is the first of many questions, Mister Korbin, I suggest if you do not care to answer then you retract that ring right now."

@honeyedache with Christopher, at the Whitlock Estate

The moment the door closes behind them, and they are truly left alone, Korbin does feel a little nervous. He leans back on the couch-like bench he was offered, his body in a seemingly relaxed state. "Your Grace. Thank you for your time. I'm sure you must be quite the busy man, which is why I appreciate it even more."

A few beats pass, in which Korbin searches for the right words, then he straightens his back and looks Christopher right in the eye. "I have grown very fond of your daughter Maude. From the very first moment I saw her, before she was even chosen as the diamond, she caught my attention. And after my visits and my time spent with her, I am here to ask for her hand in marriage." Korbin draws a ring box out of his pocket, opens it, and presents the gorgeously crafted ring, crested with gems and jewels of all sorts, formed to look like a beautiful flower. "What I want to make clear, is that I am going to respect your decision. If your answer will be no," I will run away with her, "She ought to never know of my intentions, and I will leave her alone to find her perfect match. If your answer is yes, I would be delighted to make her the future Lady Vidura." A beat passes, "That is, if she says yes. If she wants to marry me. If her answer will be no, and she deems another suitor more fitting, then that is her right, and I will also respect it."

Korbin nods, slowly, nervous, "Thank you for listening to me."

[heart-eyes-kippen]

You & I

Hi, pls ignore the fact that this is like two days late okay thank u xx

~

Summary:

“So you’re dragging me to a party this weekend?” 

TJ felt his face warm slightly. “Maybe,” he returned innocently, placing a hand on the locker beside Cyrus. “If you want to, of course.”

(In which TJ's teammates invite him to a party, and one of said teammates doesn't particularly like him and Cyrus together. Cue protective TJ.)

Word Count:  3.2k

AO3 link: (x)

Trigger Warnings: Slight homophobia

~

TJ’s face was still tinged red from the practice he’d just had as his eyes landed on Cyrus, who stood at the end of the corridor. A smile came to his lips and he quickened his pace, planning on calling out something sappy about missing him for the hour they’d been apart, only to be cut short by the sounds of hurried footsteps approaching behind him. He let out a heavy sigh and turned around, in time to see a group of his teammates all jogging after him with grins spread across their faces. 

 He rolled his eyes, trying hard to radiate the energy of someone who definitely wasn't the mood to exchange friendly small talk on a Friday afternoon, but the boys were either oblivious or they didn’t care. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was the latter. 

 “Kippen! Guess what?” 

 Glancing wistfully back at his boyfriend, he answered with a somewhat distracted “what?”

 “We’re having a party this weekend to celebrate the game!” announced John, garnering a few nods from the others, “I know it’s last minute, but you have to come dude, there’s no way we would’ve won without you.”

 TJ scanned over the group for a moment, narrowing his eyes, before giving a shrug. “Okay, sure.”

 Shock registered briefly on John’s face, and TJ couldn’t blame him. He loved his teammates, but he never quite felt comfortable at the events they would always plan, surrounded very obviously by all of their girlfriends while he didn’t have one. Rationally, he knew they probably didn’t take much notice, but his brain managed to convince him each time that they’d somehow figure out he didn’t like girls.

 John ran a hand through his hair then, face lit up by a smile. “Great! I’ll text you the details. You can invite a partner, obviously,” he said, dropping a wink, and TJ let a laugh that sounded uncomfortable even to his own ears.

 He bit his lip before glancing back once more at Cyrus, who seemed to have found interest in his phone. 

 “Um,” he hesitated, and all of their expectant gazes were suddenly on him again. 

 He took in a breath, trying desperately to keep his tone even. “Could I invite my boyfriend?”

 The split second of silence that followed those words felt like an eternity. He was looking back at eight expressions that had twisted into shock now, and he could feel his heart thudding away rapidly as he awaited the reaction. The corridors were empty at this stage in the afternoon, which made that second all the more agonising. 

 A grin appeared on John’s face. “Of course, dude! You didn’t tell me you’re finally dating someone!”

 “Yeah, I was beginning to think you just didn’t have any game, Kippen,” Ben added, and TJ couldn’t help but laugh.

 “You guys are assholes, you know that?” he told them, trying to mask the relief that had crashed over him.

 The only person that didn’t seem to be smiling anymore was Flynn, but TJ forcibly pushed that thought to the back of his mind. They’d had a few clashes in the past after all, and he couldn’t help but think that Flynn didn’t exactly want him at their team party, despite trying to act like he did.

 He exchanged a few more words with the group before heading over to his previous destination, where was Cyrus smiling as he leaned up against his locker. 

 “So you’re dragging me to a party this weekend?” 

 TJ felt his face warm slightly. “Maybe,” he returned innocently, placing a hand on the locker beside Cyrus. “If you want to, of course.” 

 The boy considered this for a moment, still smiling as he pushed himself off of the locker and right into TJ’s arms. 

 “Only if you don’t get completely drunk,” he murmured, arms wrapping around his boyfriend’s waist.

 TJ scoffed at that, but his expression was fond as he looked down at Cyrus. 

 “Pft, when have I ever gotten completely drunk?” 

 Cyrus arched an eyebrow. “Does calling me at 3 am to let me know that you adopted a duck by the lake ring any bells?” 

 “None,” said TJ, although the lie was obvious to both of them and it had Cyrus giving him an amused eye roll. 

 They were on their way soon enough, stepping out into the pleasant summer air hand in hand.

 “You owe me a dinosaur documentary,” Cyrus told him seriously. 

 “You say that as if it’s a bad thing,” he grinned back, “I love seeing you get excited over pre-historic lizards that could kill you.” 

 For a moment or two, the boy tried to bite back a smile, but he lost the fight as he leaned over to press a soft kiss to TJ’s cheek. 

 “I'll ignore that comment because you wove a compliment into it somehow.”

 ~

 Wispy clouds were drifting peacefully close to the horizon, tinged a deep red by the fading sky behind it. The bustling sounds of cars driving home on the main road reached the large house TJ and Cyrus were stood at, flushed slightly from the rush to get there. 

 “What is it with us and being fashionably late?” TJ asked him, somewhat breathlessly. 

 He looked over at Cyrus, who’s hair looked lighter than it did normally due to the warm sunlight hitting it. For a moment or two, TJ was slightly caught up in how downright ethereal his boyfriend looked during golden hour, so much so that he completely missed what the boy had said. 

 “Earth to TJ?” 

 TJ blushed slightly, which added to the red on his cheeks.

 “Sorry,” he apologised, clearly not meaning it in the slightest, “just admiring.” 

 As Cyrus gave his chest a playful swat the door swung open to reveal John, who’s eyes were glazed over in a way that seemed to suggest he’d already begun drinking. 

 “TJ! Cyrus!” he cheered, holding out a fist. 

 TJ‘s eyes shone with amusement as he accepted the fist-bump, and soon enough they were being ushered into a crowded living room that was sparsely furnished; a leather couch in the corner, a large TV on the wall and an empty bookshelf beside it. A square section of the tiles had been transformed into a dance floor, where there were already what looked like about a dozen people moving about wildly. With the blinds drawn shut the main sources of light were the coloured ones flashing above their heads.

 “It’s only 8 pm,” Cyrus laughed as they watched various red solo cups leave the kitchen.

 TJ shrugged as he took the boy’s hand. “It’s never too early to have fun.”

 The pair wove in out of the talking groups that had accumulated around the dance floor, with TJ guiding Cyrus through. They came to an abrupt stop however as Flynn stepped out in front of them. 

 His gaze settled on their hands for a moment. It burned a little too much for TJ’s liking, but he really wasn’t in the mood to think about that so he forced a smile onto his lips. Cyrus seemed to pick up the sudden tension that had appeared in the air because TJ felt him squeeze his hand reassuringly.

 “So this must be Cyrus! I’ve seen you around before. You’re friends with that boy who plays frisbee, right? And the girl that started that dress code protest?”

 Cyrus’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, but other than that he remained neutral. 

 “That’s me,” he confirmed, and TJ bit his lip to will down the sudden anger that appeared inside of him. He knew well that Cyrus didn’t like being reduced down to his friends. 

 “I think we were actually gonna get some drinks now, weren’t we?”

 Cyrus nodded frantically, and Flynn stepped aside with a scoff. 

 “I’m guessing TJ’s the man of the relationship, then.”

 He ignored the remark completely as Cyrus began tugging him towards the kitchen. It was dark, which meant they had to fumble around for a light switch, but soon enough they were being met with a few cases of varying alcoholic drinks, all of which were stacked neatly upon the marble counter. 

 “Who’s gonna tell him that you’re the one who’s scared of horror movies?” Cyrus asked him, breaking the silence. 

 TJ let out an amused huff. “I think he’s just trying to get to me,” he said, as he moved forward to examine the cases, “he’s wanted to be the team captain since forever.”

 Cyrus stepped forward to stand beside him, linking their arms. “I haven’t focused on him much during games, but I’m almost certain you’re better.”

 TJ laughed softly. “Thanks, babe. You might be ever so slightly biased, but I’ll accept that anyway.” 

 He pulled out two bottles of apple cider after a moment and handed one over to the boy. 

 Cyrus accepted it, albeit hesitantly. “Is this alcoholic?” he asked.

 “Kind of, but it’s not that much, I promise. Out of all these things, it probably tastes the best.” 

 He stared down at it, before shrugging. “Okay.” 

 Once they’d opened the bottles and headed back out into the living room, it seemed even more people had come in. TJ could officially say that it wasn’t just his teammates and their girlfriends anymore.

 He wrapped a protective arm around Cyrus as they navigated the crowd, lights flashing obnoxiously above their head. The pop music pulsed from the speakers, reverberating from the walls with how loud it was. 

 “Let's go drink these on that couch!” TJ yelled, and Cyrus nodded. 

 The leather was cool beneath their skin, and it was small enough so that it barely fit the pair of them. Cyrus ended up on his lap after a few minutes, sipping away at his cider as they talked. 

 TJ kept catching Flynn’s eye from across the room, and each time he did his stomach would turn. The look on Flynn’s face wasn’t necessarily one of disgust. In fact, it seemed a lot more like discomfort - as if he couldn’t keep his eyes from dragging over to them. 

 “Is he staring at us?” he heard Cyrus murmur.

 TJ nodded, running a hand absent-mindedly along the boy’s arm. “Yeah. I think so.” 

 They waited a moment longer, not speaking, before Flynn pushed his way to another area on the dance floor and began talking to a few teammates. 

 “What’s his deal?” asked Cyrus, voice tinged somehow with both annoyance and fear. 

 “It’s definitely me, not you. Don’t worry about it,” said TJ, and the boy just nodded. 

 They reverted back to discussing Doctor Who as they finished their drinks, and despite the relatively small amount of alcohol he’d consumed TJ could feel a warmth spreading through his body that relaxed his muscles and made his words flow more easily. 

 The night drew on slowly, and eventually, John began refusing people at the door to ensure his house didn’t become too crowded. The flashing lights stood out a lot more distinctly against the dark now that a few hours had passed since sunset. He could feel Flynn’s gaze on them almost constantly, burning holes into them both, and when Cyrus began to get visibly uncomfortable he guided him back to the kitchen. 

 Cyrus was about 2 ciders in at this point, while TJ was about 5 in, causing the room to blur by in somewhat of a haze. He wasn’t completely drunk, however, and he planned on keeping it that way. 

 “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “I don’t know why he keeps staring.” 

 He was stood in front of the counter where Cyrus was sat, his arms rested on TJ’s shoulders. 

 The boy smiled, as warmly as the sun outside had been just hours ago, and TJ’s heart melted into a puddle. 

 “It’s okay,” Cyrus murmured, bringing a hand up to gently cup the side of his face. 

 TJ leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut, and when he sensed that Cyrus was leaning in he leaned in too.

 Flynn’s voice filled the kitchen just as their lips were about to meet, making them both jump apart. 

 “Oh, sorry guys,” he said, in a tone that seemed to suggest he wasn’t sorry at all. He moved over casually to the cases and chose a small bottle of vodka, filling one of the few plastic shot glasses with it.

 None of them spoke for a few uncomfortable moments, then TJ was clearing his throat and helping Cyrus down from the counter. Wordlessly, they entered the living room, confronted by the pulsing music once more.

 “Another dance?” Cyrus asked him, quirking an eyebrow.

 TJ wasn’t usually one to dance, but there was cider flowing through him and with Cyrus his inhibitions generally seemed to be nonexistent,  so he ended up following his boyfriend to the dance floor. He knew their cheesy dancing would’ve stuck out very obviously to any on-lookers, but he pushed that to the back of his mind. Instead, he focused on the adorable sound of Cyrus’ laughter, which blended right into the music, and the even more adorable way he held onto TJ’s hand as he spun around.

 They were so caught up in one another for the next 20 minutes or so that all thoughts about Flynn slipped their minds, returning only once they’d retreated back to the leather couch, faces flushed red. John approached them where they sat, appearing more sober now than he had a few hours ago. The expression on his face seemed serious, and it had TJ’s stomach twisting as he looked up at the boy. 

 “Are you okay?” he asked. 

 John’s sigh was covered up by the music, and he gestured wordlessly towards a door that was tucked away in the corner of the living room. TJ and Cyrus exchanged a confused glance, but followed him regardless as he began to head over to it. 

 When the door had shut behind them with a soft thud, the music became muffled. They were stood in a dimly light garage, beside a car he could barely make out. 

 “Sorry, I know it’s cold in here,” said John.

 TJ hadn’t even registered that fact until he heard those words, and a glance down at his arms confirmed that goosebumps were beginning to rise along his skin. He shuddered, and drew Cyrus in close when he noticed the boy looked cold too.

 “I just...” John paused for a moment, sighing, “I just thought you guys should know that Flynn is talking about you to other people. I tried to tell him it wasn’t cool, but...”

 TJ’s face hardened, and Cyrus placed a gentle hand on his chest as though reminding him to remain calm.

 “What’s he been saying?” he asked. 

 John’s gaze shifted away from them. “He...well...he just thinks it’s ‘uncomfortable’ apparently that you guys are here together, but no one agrees with him, I swear! He’s saying some stuff about Cyrus too, but...I don’t wanna repeat it.” 

 TJ nodded slowly, processing the words for a moment. He flashed John a tight-lipped smile.

 “Thanks for telling me. I’ll be right back.” 

 He headed straight for the door, but Cyrus grabbed onto the boy’s arm.

 “TJ, you can’t just go punching people!” 

 He turned back to Cyrus, expression soft. “I’m not punching anyone, I promise. But...I can’t let him say stuff about you, okay? I just can’t.” 

 Cyrus scanned his face for a moment, the ghost of a smile flickering over his lips, before letting go of TJ’s arm. 

 “Okay.” 

 Loud pop music rang in his ears once more as he opened the door to the garage again, practically storming out onto the dance floor. Cyrus and John exchanged a glance as they trailed behind, weaving through the dancing crowds. 

 Flynn was easy to spot - he was tall after all - and he was leant back against a wall by the kitchen, talking to a girl he couldn’t recognise.

 TJ approached him, feeling anger begin to bubble up inside him.

 “Flynn.” 

 The boy turned, and shock registered briefly on his face. The girl gave him a glance, before slipping back into the crowds. Flynn tipped his head back, sculling what remained of his drink, before directing a grin at TJ. 

 “Kippen. To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

 “If you have shit to say about me or my boyfriend, maybe you should say it to my face instead of whispering about it at a party.” 

 He raised an eyebrow at that, looking infuriatingly smug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

 “Dude,” John piped up, stepping forward to stand beside TJ, “you know exactly what he’s talking about.” 

 Flynn stumbled slightly as he stepped forward, and it was then that it hit TJ just how much the boy had drunk. 

 “You know, I didn’t think you were prissy enough Kippen, but,” he paused for a moment, smiling, “apparently you are. Who knew?”

 TJ gave him a glare. “Say whatever you want about me, but leave my boyfriend out of it.” 

 The people around them seemed clueless to what was happening now that the alcohol was well and truly flowing, passing by casually to get to the kitchen. 

 Flynn smirked. “What are you gonna do? Kick me off the team for having beliefs?” 

 “No,” TJ sighed, exasperated now more than anything, “I’m not gonna kick you off the team. I’d just appreciate if you kept my boyfriend out of your shit talk, seeing as he’s literally never done anything to you.” 

 “Whatever, Kippen. I’ll do what I want,” he scoffed, forcibly pushing past both of them. 

 John’s face fell as he turned to the pair. “I’m sorry, guys.”

 TJ looked after the boy, practically fuming, until he felt a gentle hand being placed on his shoulder. Cyrus was smiling softly, and his anger faded in an instant.

 “Let’s go,” he murmured. 

 TJ nodded in agreement, directing his gaze towards John. “Thanks for inviting us, dude.” 

 “No problem,” he replied. “I’m sorry about...you know...” 

 TJ just waved him off. “It wasn’t your fault, don’t worry.” 

 Cyrus was guiding him through the crowd this time as they made their way over to the front door, pushing past it and stepping out into the cool evening air. The pulsing sounds of pop music eventually faded away, and the silence around them was filled instead by chirping crickets. 

 TJ gave the boy a confused smile when he stopped suddenly, turning to face him. 

 “What is it?” he asked. 

 Cyrus just shook his head, stepping up to him and looping his arms around TJ’s neck. 

 His smile was as gentle as the summer breeze gusting by them, and for about the hundredth time that day he had to stop for a moment to admire the beauty that was Cyrus Goodman. 

 “I love you,” Cyrus whispered. 

 TJ’s immediately face brightened. He forgot all about Flynn as he lifted Cyrus up, smiling fondly when he began to giggle.

 “I love you too,” he murmured, taking in every detail of the boy’s face that he possibly could.

 Cyrus let out a content sigh, before leaning in to connect their lips.

 And so, when TJ thought back to that summer’s night, he didn’t think of his fight with Flynn. 

 He thought of the glowing smile that had appeared on Cyrus’ face when TJ told him he loved him, the peaceful stillness that had surrounded them, and the streetlamp that had illuminated them amongst the darkness as they stood alone.

 A much more pleasant thought if you asked TJ.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: The Boyfriend

Summary: The family discovers that the reader has a boyfriend. Only he hasn’t been properly introduced yet because he’s afraid of Jensen...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader (featuring TJ)

Word Count: 2,800ish

Warnings: language, fluff

A/N: Takes place ~3 months after the end of A Place To Call Home

“Morning,” you said, yawning as you padded into the kitchen, giving your mom a smile.

“Morning,” she said. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Talked to the boss. Changed my summer hours around,” you said with a smirk. You went to the fridge and pulled out some milk, getting an eyebrow raise from her. “Dad said I could work less, I swear. I know I was doing more during the semester and dropped it down for finals but-”

“Whatever you want is fine,” she said holding up her hands. “You get so strung up sometimes, I swear.”

“I know,” you mumbled, glancing down as you set the milk aside. You got a hug from behind from her. “Thanks.”

“Love you,” she said, kissing your cheek. You rolled your eyes, catching Jensen coming in from down the hall.

“Ah, first eye roll of the day,” he teased, ruffling your bed head as he walked past you. “What are you lovely ladies up to today? JJ’s at school, twins are socializing at daycare and I got two Ackles women that look like they could go for some barbecue for lunch.”

“Yes please,” you said, shoving the milk back in the fridge before you groaned. “I’m supposed to get lunch with TJ today.”

“Invite him along,” he said.

“Nah. I’ll see if he wants to get dinner and see a movie later,” you said.

“Whatever you want. Go get dressed, tall munchkin and we’ll head out soon.”

“Thanks for dinner,” you said, biting your bottom lip as TJ stopped outside the gate at the end of the driveway.

“You’re welcome,” he said, staring at your lips for a moment before he leaned in with you, sharing a soft kiss with you.

“You’re blushing again,” you teased, TJ kissing you harder until you were laughing. “You’re adorable.”

“You’re adorable,” he said, smiling at you. “I am so not blushing.”

“I mean, we’ve been dating for like, three months? I sure hope the nerves are gone by now buddy,” you said.

“With you? Never,” he said, resting his forehead against yours. He kissed the tip of your nose and you giggled, leaning in for more but TJ shook his head. “That’s your let’s make trouble face which is definitely something we should not be doing in front of your house.”

“So you don’t want me to-”

“Oh, I want. Just won’t do it. I’m classy like that,” he said. You snorted and shook your head, pecking a kiss on his lips. “Later, Y/N.”

“Bye, babe. Text me you get home,” you said.

“Will do,” he said, turning around as you punched in the code and headed down the driveway. You slipped inside the front door with a smile, hearing a pair of very loud giggles coming from the living room.

“Guys?” you asked, Jensen’s head popping up over the back of the couch. His hair was spiked up everywhere, his lips looked swollen and you could hear De giggling still. “Oh my...were you two making out? In the living room? There are children that live here!”

“Kids are asleep and you know we figured this is a really good couch for making out on and…” he said with a shrug, Danneel laughing as she pushed a hand over his mouth.

“Daddy’s had a couple,” she said, Jensen laughing to himself. “Okay, maybe mommy too.”

“You should probably go to your room now unless you want to be scarred more,” he said. “Cause trust me, I don’t even remember where I took off your mother’s shirt and-”

“Whoa. Dad’s drunk. Good night rascals. Let’s never do this again,” you said. You were just around the hall down to your room when you heard them get up and enter the kitchen.

“Oh my god, Jens,” said your mom with a laugh.

“What? She’s an adult. I love you. I think you’re hot. It’s normal to want to make out with your wife,” he said, a laugh on his words. “You’re so pretty.”

“Last time you got like this you wanted to make a baby,” she said.

“Well the ole snip snip took care of that little issue. And I don’t want no more babies. I got four beautiful babies and I love ‘em,” he said.

“You guys are such dorks,” you said to yourself, laughing as you headed for bed.

“Good morning, dad,” you said, unable to keep the smile off your face when you saw him the next morning. He narrowed his eyes, eating slowly from his bowl of cereal. “How you feeling, champ?”

He groaned and dropped his head, your mom humming as she hopped into the kitchen and started making herself some coffee.

“Hello,” you said, now smirking as she held up her chin. “I hope you two crazy kids were responsible last evening now.”

“Erase that from your memory,” he said. “Forever.”

“Trust me, I’m trying,” you said, hopping on the counter, eating a muffin that was set out.

“Oh, well, your father may take after you in that area,” said your mom. You tilted your head, watching a smile grow on her face, a dark one grow on Jensen’s.

“Oh yeah. That’s what started the whole sneaking around thing, wasn’t it? Taking a page out of your book,” he said.

“I don’t sneak around,” you said.

“We saw you kissing TJ when he picked you up for dinner last night,” said your mom with a smile. “Not too innocently either. Not a first time kiss if you know what I’m saying.”

“Are you spying on me through the camera on the front gate?” you said.

“We get an alert on our phones,” said your dad. “So no, we weren’t spying. We were simply...surprised considering TJ is ‘just a friend.’ He finally work up the courage to ask you out?”

“I sort of...did the asking,” you mumbled, looking down.

“That’s my girl,” he said.

“I didn’t tell you because...he’s kind of afraid of dad,” you said. While your mom laughed, your dad certainly did not.

“Afraid? Afraid of what?” he said.

“Dad...TJ...he knows a few things...about when I was in foster care,” you said, both of them immediately quiet.

“You’ve never told your friends about that before,” said your mom.

“I know. TJ’s been my best friend since day one of freshman year and...it sounds stupid but he makes me feel safe and the only other people that have ever made me feel like that are my family,” you said. “I trusted him and...and I wasn’t the freak girl or the girl he felt sorry for or anything. He’s just...he understands why I get quiet sometimes and stuff like that. Sometimes he just sits with me and is there when I’m having a bad day and it feels better.”

“You’re not just dating him. You’re in love with him,” said your dad, a small smile on his face.

“I don’t know that,” you said, rubbing your arm.

“Sometimes you know before you know,” said your mom, taking her coffee and hopping up on the counter across from you. “You really tell him things like that? And he’s sweet about it?”

“Don’t get mad but remember when you guys were all out of town a few months ago and I had to stay for midterms and I was going to fly up the next day? I had a nightmare. A bad one. One of those one’s where dad sits up with me, you know? But no one was here and I know Uncle Jared and those guys were all out of town too and everybody else lives too far away so I called TJ and he came over without me even asking. He stayed here with me that night and I told him why I was so scared and that dork told me he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. We said some other stuff and then we were dating,” you said, kicking your feet, risking a glance over at them.

“I told you, I like that kid,” said your dad with a smile.

“I do too,” said your mom.

“Not sure why he’s scared of me though,” he said.

“Because he knows that you know I’ve been hurt a lot before and you’re protective of me,” you said.

“To be fair, you were afraid of my dad when you met him too,” said your mom to him.

“Why don’t you invite Mr. TJ over for dinner with the family so we can get this all out in the open, okay?” said your dad.

“Okay. I think that’ll be a good thing. I hope.”

“Hi TJ,” said JJ with a little shit eating grin.

“Hey, JJ,” he said, sitting across from her at the dining table. God you never actually sat at the dining table for dinner. Everybody always ate at the counter. Dining table meant TJ was probably about to be interrogated.

“You’re Y/N’s boyfriend?” she asked.

“Yup,” he said.

“What’s a boyfriend?” asked Arrow.

“It’s a boy that’s a friend,” said Zepp, standing up on his chair, your dad plopping him back down when he jogged up there.

“A boyfriend,” said your dad, setting a dish down on the table, your mom following up after him, “Is a boy that is romantically involved with and dating a girl.”

“Or a boy,” said TJ.

“True. Or a boy. It just means they’re dating, honey,” he said.

“So, like a girl and a boy like each other?” asked Arrow.

“Or a boy and boy?” asked Zepp.

“Yeah, you guys are getting it,” said your mom.

“Do you like boys and girls?” asked Zeppelin, your jaw dropping as your dad nearly failed to contain his laugh.

“Uh, well I only like girls, Zeppelin but everyone can like whoever they like,” said TJ.

“Zepp, eat your potatoes,” you sighed. “Please for my sanity, eat your potatoes.”

“Your little brother is just asking a question,” said your dad, smiling at you. “So TJ…”

“TJ,” said your dad, long after dinner had wrapped up. To your surprise, most of the questions were kept light and simple, nothing at all like you were expecting. Then again, the kids were upstairs in bed now and the gloves could come off. “Mind if I ask you a sort of personal question?”

“No sir,” he said.

“Don’t call me sir,” he said.

“Sorry,” he said. Your dad smiled, looking at you for a moment, your mom watching from the kitchen as he put away a few dishes.

“Y/N’s not had the easiest life. She’s quite an incredible young woman,” he said. “I met her when she was sixteen, almost seventeen. Yet, I still see her sometimes as my baby girl, even though she’s obviously not one. She’s my oldest girl. I’ve made her a lot of promises when she first got here, when she was first adopted. But somehow, Y/N and I never really talked about boys too much. I knew she’d stand up for herself so I let it be. TJ, you don’t need to be afraid of me. If you hurt her, trust me, I know she won’t put up with it. She doesn’t need dad to come save her. She’s an adult, just like you. All I’m going to say is treat her right. She doesn’t need more wrong. You’re sweet. A little scrawny but I used to be too. I mean, she’s got this thing for Chris Pratt so-”

“Dad,” you groaned.

“Be good to her and don’t be afraid of us. And remind her not to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders when we forget, alright?” he said.

“I can do that,” said TJ, giving him a smile.

“Great. I catch you two having sex in my house though, they will not find your body, m’kay?” he said, patting TJ’s leg as he stood up.

“Is he serious?” asked TJ.

“...I wouldn’t test it,” you said.

“Good call,” said TJ. You watched your parents edge away over towards the bar top, giving you and TJ some space and the occasional glance. “Your parents are cool. Your dad is way nicer than I was expecting.”

“Like he said, I don’t need him to save me. He knows if I do, I’ll give him a heads up,” you said.

“Probably better cool it with the making out in the car though,” he said.

“Eh, he said in the house,” you said with a smile.

“I heard that,” said your dad. You smiled and gave TJ a kiss, heading outside with him for a while before he headed home. “TJ head out?”

“Mhm,” you said, getting smiles from both of them. “Oh my god. Shut up.”

“Aw. She’s embarrassed of us,” said your dad. “I’m so proud of us.”

“Yeah yeah. I’m going to head to bed,” you said.

“Night sweetie,” said your mom.

“Wait up,” said your dad. You headed for your room when he waved you ahead, following after.

“Yes…” you said when you were alone.

“Hey. Real talk for a minute here. You know where to get protection for you know…” he said.

“Yes dad,” you said with a smile. “I’ve had this conversation with mom before.”

“Alright. Just make sure he treats you right and it’s okay to start doing something and then want to stop,” he said. “And you should-“

“Dad. I’ve had this conversation. Like...all of it is covered. Trust me,” you said.

“Oh. Well...good,” he said. “Being safe is good. You don’t want your own little tikes running around.”

“Dad,” you said. “I get it. I’m careful.”

“I know. Just...TJ must be pretty special, huh,” he said.

“Dad, I love you but this is one of those mom conversations, alright?” you said.

“Alright, alright,” he said. “If you are going to do decide to have sleepovers-“

“Dad!”

“Just shoot us a text so we know you aren’t coming home that night, alright,” he said.

“Okay. Can we talk about something else, please? Literally anything,” you said. “I’m begging you.”

“I know you’re all grown up and everything-“

“I’m really not,” you said.

“Oh whew,” he said, pretending to wipe his brow. “Guess I don’t have to say what I was going to then.”

“Which was…” you said.

“Well even if you got TJ now, you can always call me when you get a nightmare, no matter how big you are,” he said.

“I know,” you said. “That time I just knew I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Have any bad nights since?” he asked.

“No,” you said.

“I’m glad,” he said. “Well, no matter what, you can always talk to me or mom.”

“Thanks,” you said quietly. He nodded and turned to leave. “Dad? Do you like TJ?”

“Doesn’t really matter what I think,” he said with a smile. “He’s your boyfriend, not mine.”

“Dad,” you said.

“I told you back when you were just friends. He’s always been very sweet to you. I like that. He’s your best friend. Sometimes we catch you two together and it reminds us of me and De when we were younger, before we dated. That time when we were nervous but knew what we both wanted. I think you know that part,” he said with a smile. “So I liked him. And once you said he was here for you when you needed him...then I trusted him. If you trust him and I trust him and mom trusts him, odds are he’s probably a good guy and you deserve one of those.”

“Okay. Thanks for telling me,” you said.

“Mind if I ask why it’s important for you to know that?” he asked.

“You’re a good guy and TJ's a good guy. I want you two to like each other,” you said.

“You’re in this deep after only a few months? God, take after me more than I realized,” he said. “Hold off on the wedding bells until you graduate at least, okay?”

“Shut up old man,” you said.

“Old man my ass,” he said. “I’m only-“

“Ancient?” you teased.

“Keep it up kiddo,” he said, pointing a finger at you as he headed out. “Night. Love you. Say hi to TJ for me when you end up staying up half the night texting him. Breakfast burritos nine am sharp.”

“Mhm. Love you too dad.”

A/N: Check out the Uncle Jared timestamp here!

[andimackismycrack]

halloweenies - tj and cyrus dress up as richie and eddie

thanks to the suggestion from @tyrusendgameperiod here is this last minute halloween-themed fic! hope you enjoy!

“I don’t want it to look like we just scrambled it together last minute! We’re already behind on planning as is.” Cyrus sighed in his own dramatic Cyrus way.

TJ looked at him, rolling his eyes, “Cy, it’s September 3rd.”

“Which means we’re WAY behind!”

“Don’t worry underdog,” TJ ruffled Cyrus’s hair, getting a smack on the hand in return, “I have a plan.” Sure enough, TJ came through. He surprised Cyrus with ‘IT: Chapter Two’ tickets for opening night the following week.

Cyrus couldn’t stop gushing about it. He was so excited. You wouldn’t think it, but he was a horror movie buff, the theater was the one place he wasn’t afraid, besides when he was with his friends or TJ. He’d seen the first IT about 10 times, he’d even forced TJ to watch it with him a few of those.

TJ had been wracking his brain for cute couples costume ideas, and couldn’t think of anything. Until...

｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Opening night, they were walking out of the theater. As they left, you could see almost every audience member with streaky tears dried on their face or puffy eyes from crying. Including Cyrus and TJ.

“Teej,” Cyrus whispered, “That was so good, thank you.”

TJ felt that warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest and slid his arm around Cyrus’s waist, holding him snugly. They started talking about their favorite parts of the movie and that’s when it clicked. They had been talking about Richie and Eddie so much, it was obvious. Clearly that’s what they have to dress up as.

Weeks went by and Cyrus was getting increasingly anxious about their costume. He trusted TJ and all when he said that he was taking care of them, but he couldn’t help but worry about it.

TJ decided to choose a pink hawaiian style shirt with a white graphic tee underneath and jeans for Richie. Of course he also found coke bottle glasses and beat up tennis shoes.

For Eddie, he chose some red shorts (though not near as short as the ones in the movie) and a color-clashing salmon polo-style shirt. He found a fanny pack from his dad in the 90’s and an old inhaler from his mom.

TJ was proud of his selection, most of which he’d gotten from a thrift store. All but the jeans (which he’d already owned) and the glasses. He’d saved up for this with his job, being able to pay for it all himself. He got a text.

underdog! <3: pleeeaassseeee tell me what the costume is i’m dying!!!!!

underdog! <3: tj!

underdog! <3: tj!! i know it’s a surprise but please..

tj: okay fine i’ll give you a HINT

underdog! <3: bf of the week award!

tj: why not month??

underdog! <3: if you told me the whole costume, you might even make boyfriend of the year.

tj: okay okay. i can’t resist, you’re being too cute rn.

underdog! <3: omg!

tj: it’s richie & eddie! from IT!

｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Halloween was fast approaching for the couple, both so excited for their idea. The plan was to all meet at Cece’s house, then all go trick or treating together. They wanted to go out with a bang since it’s probably the last year they could all go. Then when they were back, they would have their candy, watch scary movies, and fall asleep in the living room. Though Halloween was a school night, they had the following day off as it was the end of a grading period, meaning the teachers would have to be at school while the students would not.

The fact that they gang didnt have school the next day, their parents were happy to agree for them to stay at Andi’s grandma’s house.

Before they knew it, Andi, Buffy, Amber, Marty, Jonah, Walker (despite all the drama, they were able to stay friends), Marty, TJ, and Cyrus made their ways to Cece’s, already in costume.

First came Buffy and Marty, in a couples costume of course, with Buffy dressed in old fashioned, pop-art like clothing, carrying an umbrella in gloved hands, and Marty with “dirt” covering his hands and wiped on his face, wielding a black umbrella with overalls and a striped shirt.

“Welcome, Mary Poppins!” Andi, a glittery fairy, welcomed Buffy and Marty into Cece’s house, spiders were hanging from the ceiling and there were orange string lights hung from what seemed every wall in the house.

Soon, the rest of the guests had began piling in. Jonah and Walker decided to go as Finn and Po from the newest Star Wars trilogy. Amber was dressed as a hippie, sporting straightened hair, a tank top tucked into flowing pants, and a headband across her forehead.

TJ and Cyrus were last to arrive, they took “forever” to get there according to the rest of the gang.

The doorbell rang and Andi jumped up to answer it, leaving the others sitting on the couch with a bowl of chips.

She opened the door to see TJ as Eddie and Cyrus as Richie. “Oh my god! You guys look... amazing!!”

Buffy was next to jump from her warm seat next to (more like, on top of) Marty. “Okay we HAVE to take pictures now!” She motioned over to a blank wall with a sheet hung. There was a photo booth set up complete with confetti and paper moustaches.

The rest of the night faded into oblivion as the once trio laughed too hard and enjoyed themselves so much, they didn’t know where the time went.

notes: i wrote this very last minute i’m SORRY but i kinda love this. didn’t u love the plot twist? also i’m sOFT for tj when he broke down and told cyrus bc he was being cute. might write a part two over the weekend for when they’re actually trick or treating with more dialogue (bc fun fact dialogue is my favorite part to write). hope you enjoy!!! <3

[screamoffkey]

One Third Better (Tyrus Fan Fic) Chapter 3

8 days 4 hours and 14 minutes.

That’s how long TJ Kippen has been avoiding everyone he knows.

That’s a lie.

It’s been 17 minutes.

But it feels like a hell of a lot longer.

 There’s got to be a better way to quantify the amount of time that’s passed since TJ left reality and entered his own personal circle of hell.

46 missed called from Buffy Driscoll.

That’s certainly a better unit of measure.

 And, through all of that, he’s been sitting in the boy’s locker room, trying to stop himself from sobbing hysterically, and trying not to be seen.

 “Hi, TJ? You in here?” A boy’s voice reverberates in the empty locker room. It’s an unfamiliar voice. He’s heard it before, he knows, but he can’t place it to a face. Not that it matters, because it only takes a second before a brunette with a pair of soft green eyes finds him where he crouches in the corner of the tiled floor: Jonah Beck.

“Uh, Buffy asked me to come in here and check on you. She wanted to make sure you were OK after, um… what happened.”

Fuck. Everyone knows by now, don’t they? After spending all this time trying to hide it, his entire life can com crashing down with one stupid sentence.

He hasn’t said a word to Jonah. He can’t say much of anything through his ugly, hiccupping, sobbing. His face long gone red and ruddy, and his hands soaked slick from trying to dry his face,

Jonah Beck has never been good at hiding his emotions: he’s very uncomfortable, and it shows. Bright green eyes search the room desperately for a sign of what he should say or do, before he chooses to crouch down beside the sandy-haired boy and lay a hesitant hand on his shoulder.

“Hey TJ? I’m, uh, not sure what to say in situations like this. But, I’m here if you want to talk.”

TJ tried his best to scoff at the words, but with a sob still stuck in his throat, it came out warbly at best.

“What am I supposed to say?”

Jonah’s nervous gaze softened slightly. And a small smile found its way to his lips.

“Trust me TJ, I know how it feels to think your world is ending suddenly. It’s dizzying… like you’re losing control of your own body. You were there when it happened to me, remember?”

Their eyes meet for the first time during this conversation, and even through tears TJ can see the sincerity pouring out of the boy in front of him.

“It’s OK if you don’t have anything to say right now… or at all, really.” Jonah paused for a second, trying to gather his thoughts, searching his memory for something helpful. A bright smile spread across his face when he mentally found what he was looking for.

“Maybe we can just focus on breathing?”

--

TJ let the boy guide him through some simple breathing exercises. In. Hold. Out. And, he felt his mind clear ever so slightly as his frantic crying settled down.

In.

Whatever you said, you’ve already said. You can’t take it back. This is your life now.

Hold.

All you can do is move forward.

Out.

At least you aren’t totally alone. Jonah’s here. And, Buffy sent him to look for you. She hates you and she still cared enough to make sure you were OK.

In. Hold. Out.

Maybe you will be OK.

--

 They walked in silence down the hallway, TJ finally coaxed out of the locker room by a gentle Jonah Beck’s polite insistence that he can’t spend forever the dirty floor. One of the more recent of the 9 voicemails Buffy had left him told him that she’d be waiting for him in the gym after practice, if he wanted to talk, and he figured he needed to say something to her before his pity points wore off.

As TJ turned to face the gym doors, he felt he needed to say something. To thank Jonah in words he wouldn’t even begin to know how to articulate. Saying stuff the right way was never really his strong suit.

“Hey, Jonah. I’m… I’m really sorry about all of this.”

Jonah Beck smiled at this. His famous, dazzling, ever-so-slightly-confused type of smile.

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I dunno. Wasting your time? Or maybe, just being a dick in general.”

Jonah just shrugged, and quipped, “Well, apology accepted, I guess?” and, TJ wondered how the boy could vacillate between saintly wisdom to entirely careless with such ease.

 --

When TJ walked into the gym, Buffy was preoccupying herself by shooting seemingly endless free throws. Foul throws are what you do when you get injured. They’re made to right some type of wrong done earlier in the game. Buffy explained this concept to Cyrus when she first started training to be on the boys’ basketball team. And, maybe she took the concept to heart, because whenever she felt bad about herself, she found herself shooting basket after basket, trying to even score for whatever mistake had been made.

She just couldn’t shake what happened from her mind. Andi hates her, TJ is in love with Cyrus, and she’s never felt so wrong about everything in her entire life: maybe TJ isn’t the only fuck up here.

 Her dribbling thoughts skidded to a halt when a tear-stained TJ Kippen pushed his way through the gym doors. She just looked at him, maybe for some kind of answer to the dozens of questions she’s been trying to solve since they’d last crossed paths.

 Instead, TJ said one word: “Horse?” A white flag of surrender, maybe. But, Buffy took it readily, and passed him the ball.

--

One game of horse turned into two, then three (Buffy beating TJ, 2-1), before they started to so much as speak words about anything other than basketball. After missing a three-point shot Buffy had sunk, TJ abruptly blurted.

“I’m sorry I have a crush on your best friend. I- I, uh didn’t mean to.”

Buffy let out a surprising laugh.

“What? TJ, no. Trust me, I’m not mad about that. Like, at all.”

A pause, then.

“You have great taste in boys, Kippen. Cyrus is the best there is.”

“He really is, isn’t he?” TJ said, smiling brightly at the mere mention of the boy. The way his eyes crinkled at the mention of him was just enough to let Buffy let her guard down, just for a second, enough to ask the question sitting uneasy with her for a week now.

“…Why did you have a gun TJ?”

There it was. And now, TJ had to own up to what happened.

“I didn’t know they would have a gun. Reed just knew I wanted to impress Cyrus, and I guess

Buffy arced her eyebrows.

“I’m still calling bullshit TJ. This isn’t the first time Reed snuck his dad’s gun, is it?”

TJ shifted uncomfortably, weighing the ball in his hands, trying to think of a way out of the question.

“It wasn’t.”

“Then why did you guys have the gun, TJ?”

“I don’t know Driscoll, OK? I Just-”

In. Hold. Out… Don’t panic; just breath.

He felt his shoulders soften, and his voice lose the cut as he tried to speak again. If there’s one thing he’s learned in the past week, it’s that being honest with his emotions has been better for everyone involved that lashing out.

“I really don’t know, Buffy. I just- sometimes I make bad decisions. Like, really bad ones. But, I swear to god that I’m trying to be better.” He managed to rasp out.

Buffy studied him, and TJ felt like he was standing at the gates of heaven awaiting judgement under the glare of dark brown eyes. She closed them for a second, and then started speaking.

“TJ, I’m not mad at you or anything. I’m just… I’m scared for Cyrus. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I know that. Neither do I.”

“I know.... Now pass me the ball.”

--

It was nearly a half-hour later before either said another non-basketball word. They’d exhausted their games of Horse, and were ambling in slightly uncomfortable silence on the bleachers, both waiting for the other to say something first.

“Hey TJ, what you said… About me ruining my friendships? That was out of line.”

“I know, I’m sorr-”

“Wait. I’m not done.” She interjected. Sharply cutting his apology short.

“It was out of line coming from you… But, I think I needed to hear it from someone.” Her voice wavered at the words, just slightly, “I know I tend to lash out when I’m let down by people. And, hell, when I was moving out of town I didn’t even say goodbye to my best friends! I… I know have a lot to work on when it comes to the ‘whole friendship thing.’”

If TJ could tell that Buffy was watching a flashback in her mind of every single time that she let her friends down, and every single time they’d forgiven her without question… he definitely didn’t show it. In fact, TJ just stared at the curly-haired girl before him, the one who was claiming to be Buffy Driscoll, but certainly didn’t sound like her. He blinked in stunned confusion, before realizing it was his turn to talk.

“So, uh, are you saying that… you forgive me?” He replied lamely.

Buffy huffed a bittersweet chuckled at that, like he had just made a joke at the expense of both of them.

“I don’t know if I can. Honestly, I don’t.” She shrugged her shoulders, almost apologetically.

“But… I do know that you’re trying to be better. And, I know that that’s hard as fuck. So, I’ll try too. At forgiveness.”

There was a weird moment between them, in the silence after her words, when Buffy offered a soft smile and TJ gave one back. Something that someone observing this situation from a distance would almost call a ‘tender moment;’ but, upon realizing that it was being shared between Buffy Discroll and TJ Kippen would most certainly not believe their eyes. Because certainly TJ and Buffy couldn’t possibly be pleasant in each other’s company for longer than a second, right?

That observer would be correct in their skepticism, because just a heartbeat after, a smirk flashed across TJ’s face.

“I bet I can be better better than you can.”

A stunned expression flashed across Buffy’s face, before a matching smirk mirrored his own. “Well, I bet I can beat you again at a one-on-one.”

And with a cocked eyebrow, and sneaky steal of the basketball in his hands, the pair was back to the court.

And, TJ Kippen felt approximately two thirds better.

[lgbtyrus]

Two Exes on Mars

Part 3/3

Part 1 - Part 2 

Cyrus wasn’t sure if he was hearing correctly. If TJ had just told him he still loved him, he had no idea what to do with himself or his body at this point. His soul on the other hand, was halfway to space and it was not coming the fuck back.

“What?” was all Cyrus could say. He scratched the inside of the palm of his hands with his finger nails to make sure he was real. This was not going as planned. He had come to get a little closure and instead, he got another door to walk through.

“I still love you,” TJ said softly, “Cyrus.”

“TJ,” Cyrus whispered, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay if you’ve gotten over me, Cyrus,” TJ said, looking him straight in the eye, “you just asked if it was worth it and,” TJ sighed, a fake chuckle caught in between his teeth, “no. It wasn’t.” Cyrus wanted to think the whole situation was funny, justifying that almost laugh, but his heart knew he was in for some deep shit. The two sat there in silence, Cyrus sat with his hands folded staring at TJ who was now looking out the window. Was he looked for a shooting star to wish them out of this awkward situation? Because Cyrus was going to have to steal it to wish for some truth juice. He had no idea what he felt or what he wanted to say.

“Here is the food,” the waitress came, dropping off the waffles and pancakes in front of them.

“Thank you,” Cyrus told her before she walked away. TJ hadn’t moved a muscle. Cyrus felt hungry for the first time that night, and he was sure it was because he had developed the habit of stress eating in California. Not the best way to channel stress and anxiety, but it was better than him sleeping the days away in his dorm. Only right now, he couldn’t dig a hole in his waffle while his ex confessed his love for him in front of him. What would that even mean for the both of them?

“I don’t what else to say,” TJ admitted, breaking the silence.

“Me either,” Cyrus quickly sighed. His stomach was rumbling out of nowhere. “I just,” Cyrus gave up and reached for the syrup, “I don’t know how I feel about you, TJ. I spent so long crying every single night for you because I felt like I did something wrong, and I had so many other people tell me constantly that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

TJ butt in, “Because you didn’t. I just couldn’t handle the idea of doing a long distance relationship with someone I’ve basically seen every day for five years.”

“We didn’t have to see each other every day to talk to each other, TJ,” Cyrus frowned. It was starting to hurt. He took a bite of his waffle. It was definitely an inappropriate time to tell TJ how delicious it was and that he was thankful he took him there. He had no idea how words were going to come out his mouth. “I think what hurt the most was that. Not being able to talk to you. Not knowing if you were okay,” Cyrus slowly brought his fork down and realized he was starting to cry, “I couldn’t even call you after you won your first college basketball game. After you made your first point. I couldn’t know how your math class was going or if you were taking one. I couldn’t tell you about all the friends I made and their Californian accents. I couldn’t tell you the Buffy and Marty drama. I couldn’t go over what stupid thing Jonah said to Amber. You were my best friend, TJ, and I lost you when I loved you the most- when I was making one of the hardest choices of my life.” TJ now had his face in his hand, propping his head up as he stared out the window also with watery eyes. Cyrus didn’t know how he kept rambling for so long without taking a bite from the waffle. He dug his fork back in and started to eat again.

“I’ve made a lot of stupid choices, Cyrus-”

“Yeah,” Cyrus agreed, making TJ laugh a little.

“But letting you go was definitely the worst.”

-

They pulled up to the Goodman’s driveway in silence, Cyrus’ playlist filling the space of TJ’s car. It wasn’t weird, really. They continued the rest of dinner talking about school and friends like TJ had never said anything about love. They were good, Cyrus thought.

“I have something for you,” TJ said. “It’s in the back seat.” TJ started getting out of the car.

“Hanukah isn’t until next week,” Cyrus told him, amused.

“It’s nothing new,” TJ told him, shutting the driver’s seat. Cyrus got off and walked to the other side of the car where TJ was. “Ugh,” TJ said, moving duffel bags to the side, “it was back here.” TJ pushed everything from that seat to the side and sat down, leaning down to look on the floor. “Found it,” he said, pulling up a familiar shirt. Cyrus smiled and TJ held it out to him.

“My T-Rex shirt,” Cyrus said softly, taking it. “I thought you burned it.”

TJ laughed, “I didn’t burn anything.”

“How many of my things do you have?”

“Everything you ever left at my place. Any pictures. I have all of it,” TJ told him honestly. TJ reached out his hand to Cyrus, and Cyrus looked at it, not knowing what to do. His mind couldn’t think correctly anymore, and his heart seemed to be failing him. He didn’t know how to trust his gut at that moment. “I really do love you, Cyrus. Always will.” Cyrus took the hand and TJ pulled him in the car, scooting over so he could sit next to him. They were squished together with all the random things in the backseat of TJ’s cars, and Cyrus could feel TJ’s breath on his cheek as he squeezed the shirt tightly in one hand and felt TJ’s thumb caress the other. Cyrus knew what was going to happen if he turned his head to look at TJ. But he shut the door himself and leaned in to kiss TJ, melting into his lips.

-

Two days had gone by of seeing TJ everyday behind everyone’s back. If Buffy and Andi wanted to hang out, he said he was with family. If his family asked where he was going, he said with Buffy and Andi. Two days wasn’t enough for them to get suspicious, but he didn’t know what was going on with TJ and needed to figure that out first. Of course, either way, Buffy would be so disappointed in him. He didn’t even know if he was disappointed with himself anymore.

Being with TJ didn’t feel different. It’s like they were picking up where they left off. Only Cyrus couldn’t say I love you to him. He hadn’t found the moment to know if he still loved him. He loved being with him. He loved stealing another one of his hoodies for the first time in forever. He loved his scent of fancy cologne. He loved making out with him in hidden places like when they were sophomores in high school. Everything felt familiar, but it didn’t mean it was boring. He hadn’t felt this excitement since the breakup. Thinking about TJ used to hurt. Now, it brightens him up.

Cyrus and TJ laid on the floor of Cyrus’ room, letting the TV screen play random episodes of Friends as they talked about their friends from school.

“You got yourself in a big friend group, didn’t you,” TJ told Cyrus, running his fingers through Cyrus’ hair. Cyrus missed that feeling.

“I’m honestly surprised I did,” Cyrus said. “Well, my roommate knew like two of them and then people just starting hopping in during class and then there was a group chat.”

“Once there’s a group chat, there’s no going back, huh,” TJ laughed. When TJ and Cyrus had first started dating, TJ got added in a group chat with the rest of them and that’s how they all became friends.

“Nope,” Cyrus said. “I hope I get to hang out with them more this semester. I ditched them a lot before we had a come to Earth moment before Thanksgiving.”

“Cyrus,” TJ’s mouth fell open, speaking in a genuinely concerned voice, “did you get high?” Cyrus snorted immediately and laughed at TJ’s face as it fell down into a smile. “Cyrus, I’m serious.”

“I didn’t,” Cyrus laughed hard, holding his stomach. “But you,” Cyrus cackled, “thinking that about me is just so funny.” TJ laughed with him, holding him tightly in his arms as if he’d roll away.

“Well you said come to Earth moment, and I wouldn’t know what that means,” TJ said as Cyrus’ laugh got quieter.

“Well I mean that we sat around a bonfire and spilled our life to each other.”

“Mmm, I see,” TJ said going back to running his fingers through Cyrus’ hair as the show’s laugh track played in the background. Cyrus hadn’t felt at ease like this in a while. He reached his hand up and placed is on TJ’s cheek about his head, feeling his cheek. “I’m sorry, Cyrus.”

“For what?” Cyrus asked him. He had been saying sorry for two days, but he didn’t know for what exactly.

“For not even giving long distance a try. For being a coward about it.”

“It’s fine, TJ.”

“I don’t think it is,” TJ said, putting his hand over Cyrus’ as it rest on his face. “You’re over here telling me you’ve been falling apart still because of the breakup that happened months ago and honestly, me, too.”

“Break ups happen, TJ,” Cyrus said softly, “and they hurt. Who knows? Maybe we would’ve broke up in college either way.” Cyrus’ heart hurt. He had TJ right here, but he still didn’t have him. It was at that moment that Cyrus realized that it was temporary and that he was going to go back to missing him again. The moment of peace disappeared.

“I just miss you so much,” TJ said, lacing his fingers with Cyrus’. “I want to be with you.” TJ whispered, “I love you.” Cyrus pulled his hand away from TJ and sat up, turning to look at the boy on the floor. His green eyes were glossy with sentiment. He really turned a stone hearted jock with 50 walls into a sentimental jock who knew how to express his feelings. It was his biggest accomplishment. He scanned TJ’s face. His nose, his lips, his eyebrows. The tiny freckles weren’t as present in the Winter, but he knew they were under his skin. He loved them. He loved TJ.

“I think I still love you, too, TJ,” Cyrus said, TJ sitting up and pressing his forehead against the other boy’s. “And I want to be with you again,” he whispered into his lips, “but right now, it’s weird. I think I need a few days.”

“I understand,” TJ said, kissing Cyrus’ cheek softly. His voice was shaking, and Cyrus just wanted to hold him close to him. “As long as you need.”

“January 8th?”

TJ smiled and nodded, “January 8th.” Cyrus leaned in to kiss him.

-

Buffy and Andi both stared at a nervous Cyrus as he paced around Andi’s bedroom. He was going to tell them about TJ and what happened the day before and that he now had until the day that was supposed to be their anniversary to tell him if they could get back together again or not. It was a lot considering a few weeks ago he burned a book TJ had given him once.

“What is it, Cyrus?” Buffy asked, leaning back on Andi’s headboard. “You might as well tell us to get it over with.” Cyrus stopped moving and looked directly at his best friends.

“Yeah,” Andi looked up from the sweater she was knitting, “you seem really stressed out.”

“Also, you’ve been avoiding us,” Buffy said, Andi nodding along to what she said. “What mess did you get yourself into, Cyrus?”

“TJ and I have been hanging out,” Cyrus blurted out, closing his eyes shut. He opened them slowly after a few seconds of silence and saw that Buffy was staring blankly in disbelief while Andi’s mouth fell open.

“You’ve what!?” Andi yelled. Cyrus regretted everything he’s ever done immediately when he saw Buffy roll her eyes.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Cyrus said, going over to sit on the bed with them, “we met up a few days ago and things happened.”

“Things happened?” Buffy scoffed, her arms crossed and eyes nowhere near looking at Cyrus. She was angry and her disapproval really hurt Cyrus. He looked at Andi for any type of reassurance, but she also looked disappointed.

“We just kissed and we’ve been hanging out everyday, doing stuff like we would when we were dating.”

“You do know it’s only until you guys go back to school, right?” Andi asked him.

Cyrus shook his head, “He still loves me.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Buffy said with no hesitation.

“He does, Buffy,” Cyrus said before whispering, “and I think I love him, too.” The three stayed silent for a solid minute. Buffy didn’t blink, Andi just stared at Cyrus’ face as if looking for a real answer. But he gave it to him.

“Would you guys do long distance if you guys get back together, then?” Andi finally asked. Cyrus was grateful for Andi. He knew he’d have her support back first.

“Yeah,” Cyrus said. “But all this time, I would rather have that then not have him at all.”

“Is he willing to do long distance this time around?” Andi asked him. Cyrus nodded. “Do you trust him, Cyrus?” Andi asked, getting Buffy to look at him for once.

“Yeah,” Cyrus told them, “I do.”

Buffy sighed, “Well, Cyrus. If you trust him, I do, too.” Cyrus smiled at her until she gave in and smiled back. “But next time, I will beat him up. You won’t be at school with us to stop me.”

-

Cyrus and TJ sat down on TJ’s bed as Cyrus looked around the room. Nothing had really changed in there. All the same posters of singers and basketball players were up, this lone jersey hung up, some medals and trophies were thrown around. He was no stranger to TJ’s world even if it had been months. It was now January 8th.

“Is it weird being in here?” TJ asked him.

“Very,” Cyrus admitted, squeezing TJ’s hand. “Are all the photos of us under your bed?”

“Yeah,” TJ said, leaning his head on Cyrus’. “I couldn’t get rid of them.” Cyrus smiled and turned his head to give TJ and kiss on the cheek before snuggling close to him. Everything about the situation felt safe. He felt safe with TJ. He knew that he wouldn’t hurt him again. Neither of them would be able to handle that. “So,” TJ said softly, “is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus whispered before turning to look him in the eyes, “I love you.”

 -

Here’s the end of it! Thank you guys for liking my angst and reading it :) I love angst a lot tbh. The ending is slightly open but not too much. Not my most satisfying ending. I’m too tired to actually show how they work things out but yeah, this little universe is done for. 

@istillwearyourdenimjacket @moonlightrush @luna–min @tj-looked-back-kippen @fromtheparty @bambikippen @homosexualearthworm @keylla-dunspeh @marvelous-me-always @tomohisa61896 @yeeterparkerbio @way-too-many-fandomss

[thelanguageoflovers]

Until the Stars Burn Out

Cyrus sat up against his pillows, clumsily pushing his glasses onto his face as he fumbled for his incessantly ringing phone. The screen shone brightly, TJ’s name written across it. A glance at the clock told him it was 3:29 in the morning. With a deep breath and his shoulders steeled, he answered the call.

“TJ?” he asked, voice hoarse with sleep and tense with anger. The line stayed silent, forcing a loud sigh from Cyrus. “TJ, I know it’s you. I have your contact saved, and I know you’ve been calling and not saying anything because you’re a goddamn coward.”

TJ’s breathing was the only indicator that he was still on the line.

“Alright, then. You’re not going to talk, so I am. You know, when I first met you, I was terrified that you were just going to hurt me. I guess I was right, but for some reason, you made me ignore my gut. You made me doubt Buffy, and you made me doubt myself, TJ. And then you went and did the one thing I was afraid of. For all of the things you were to me, you were also the one person who always knew how to make me feel like I was enough. With Andi and Buffy and Jonah, I always knew I was just a side character. I was supposed to help them with whatever they needed. If Andi wanted Jonah, I’d step back so she could have him. If Buffy wanted me to hate you, I would. That was the unspoken agreement. But then you got me that stupid muffin.”

Cyrus looked up at the boy in front of him. Was this the guy who’d been bullying his best friend? Why didn’t he look the part?

Focus, Cyrus. You’re supposed to hate him. He braced himself for the boy to say something to him, but when he did… When he did, it wasn’t entirely awful. It was teasing, yes. It was a little bit terrifying, yes. But his words weren’t laced with the malice he’d assumed they’d be. In fact, he was kind of...nice? Stop, Cyrus.

He’d never wanted anything more than he wanted to hate TJ Kippen in that moment. But he never quite got around to it.

“You know, I was so sure you were a bad person. Because I trusted Buffy’s word. Because I trusted Buffy. And then you weren’t.” Tears stung at Cyrus’s eyes, and he checked to make sure TJ was still listening. Sure enough, there was his heavy breathing, sure and steady. “I remember crying about you to my parents, you know. You didn’t deserve it, and I know that now, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know what to do.”

Cyrus wiped the heels of his palms over his eyes. Tears fell no matter how many times he pushed them away. His mom sat down on the foot of his bed, reaching forward to take his hands.

“Hey, kiddo. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what to do,” he whimpered. “It’s either I let Buffy hate me, or I hate someone who I don’t even know deserves it.”

“What’s going on, kid?”

“Buffy told me about some guy on the basketball team- the captain, I guess. He’s been bullying her since she joined. I just kind of...accepted it as fact that he was a bad person. But now I know him. And it’s like- like I don’t get how this works anymore. He’s not just black and white anymore. He’s like this...Mess of gray and colors I didn’t even know existed.”

“Do you know why he was awful to Buffy?”

“No! That’s the worst part! Buffy thinks he’s some misogynistic jock, but I think he was just scared. He was worried she’d be better than him, so he took it out on her.”

“And you’re sure that’s the reason?” Cyrus nodded somberly.

“I’m not positive, but yes. It’s the only thing that makes sense. His twin sister would have kicked his ass otherwise.” Leslie smiled slightly at his language, raising an amused eyebrow.

“...Okay then. I think you’ve already made your decision Cyrus. You don’t want to lose either one of them, do you?”

“No?”

“Then find a way to keep them both.”

“You know, I almost thought you were worth losing Buffy over. I can’t believe I almost let you trick me. And then you had the fucking audacity to put me in danger with the gun? You didn’t even care that someone could have gotten hurt- or worse. You just flashed those stupid puppy dog eyes and told me you were ‘sorry’. You act like the things you do don’t hurt people, but they do, TJ.”

The look in TJ’s eyes when Cyrus tried to get him to leave with him hurt like nothing he’d ever felt in the world. Walking away from him in that moment nearly hurt even more, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

It’s for TJ, he thought. Someone’s going to get hurt if I don’t leave.

He had to leave, no matter what he wanted to do. It was what was right. He could apologize all he wanted later, but for now… He had to leave.

“That was one of the hardest things I have ever done, TJ Kippen. And then I just up and forgave you. You really made me believe you were worth forgiving over and over again. And now this? You humiliated me, and for what? To be with Kira? I can handle you choosing her, Teej, but you didn’t say a word. And then you looked at me like you regretted it. And you know what? I almost believed you. You ruined everything like you always do, and I almost forgave you. Like I always do. I want you to know that all that? It’s over, TJ.”

TJ’s breathing on the line trembled in the same way that Cyrus’s did.

“God, TJ. How could you? Actually, it doesn’t matter. If I took the time to ask what the fuck you were thinking every time you hurt me, I’d never stop. One thing would bleed into the next, and none of this would ever end. So I am done asking questions. I think… I think I was in love with you. I thought I would be in love with you no matter what. Always and forever. To the moon and back. Until every star in the sky burns out. But I guess I have to get over that. You know, maybe I still love you. But I have to let it go.”

“Cyrus wait-” TJ protested. “Please, just- hear me out. Please, Cyr-”

“I love you, TJ. But it’s time to say goodbye.”

[2ndstringloser]

Best Friend’s Brother (pt. II)

A Tyrus Fic

Cyrus woke up and looked at his phone, he smiled when he saw that there was a text from his best friend's brother, also known as his secret boyfriend.

Teej: You're coming over tomorrow right?

Cy: yeah, can't wait to see you!

Teej: me too. wish we could be together more :((

Cy: same, see you soon <3

The next day Cyrus was extremely eager to go to his best friends house, but not for his best friend. He went over at around eight and greeted amber at the door.

"Hey Cy, I was gonna put on a movie, you down?" she asked.

"Totally, lemme go put my bag upstairs." Cyrus replied. That was half true, he did go and put his bag down, but from then he took a pit stop at Tj's room. Cyrus knocked on the door and impatiently waited for it to open. When Tj opened the door he immediately smiled and pulled Cyrus in with him, shutting the door behind them. Tj kissed Cyrus and pulled him closer.

"I want to be with you so much more." Tj said, "I just want to spend more than an hour or two next to you."

"I know, same." They stayed in a hug for a few seconds, "I have to go watch a movie with Amber."

"Then I'm coming too, I don't want you out of my sight again."

Cyrus went downstairs, Tj waited a second as to not seem suspicious and then joined the two in the living room. He sat opposite Cyrus on the couch, with Amber between them. They sat and watched the movie for a few hours, near the end of it Amber had fallen asleep, Tj texted Cyrus, to avoid waking her.

Teej: shes asleep, we should go to my room

Tj looked at Cyrus waiting for a reply.

Cy: okay. be careful getting up

They cautiously got out from under the blankets and tip-toed up the stairs. Once they finally reached Tj's bedroom they felt free to be together. Cyrus hugged Tj and pulled him towards the bed. They flopped down together and started to cuddle. They stayed intertwined and talked forever.

~

Amber opened her eyes to see neither her brother, nor her friend sitting next to her. Confused, she checked the time. It was 12:30. She got up and stumbled up the stairs, still tired. Upstairs she saw that Cyrus wasn't in her room, so she went to ask Tj if he had left. As she got closer she could hear talking coming from inside his room.

"You're so beautiful." One voice said, the one she assumed was her brother. Amber thought maybe he'd snuck a girl in after everyone was asleep.

"Well so are you, plus you're perfect in every other way," A second voice said. Amber could tell that it wasn't a girl's voice, and it sounded familiar, "Why does the world have to be so fucked up? Why can't I just be with you, what's the big deal?" After hearing the second voice more, Amber realized it was Cyrus! Her jaw dropped. She wasn't sure if she should open the door or just let it be. In the end she figured that this was a situation best brought up later. She went back down to sleep on the couch so that they didn't know she heard them.

~

The next morning Cyrus woke up, still in Tj's bed. Panicked, he raced to Amber's room, very relieved to see she wasn't in there. He didn't think Amber knew anything that went on after the movie last night.

He packed up his bag and then went down to say goodbye to Amber.

"Hey Ambs," He said, gently shaking her awake, "I'm gonna head out, sorry we didn't hang out much last night. See you at school okay?"

"Yeah, see ya Cy." she responded. Once the front door had shut with Cyrus behind it, Amber tore off her blanket and ran upstairs. The door to Tj's room flew open and she marched in. "Teej can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Shoot," he responded, uninterested and distracted by his phone.

"Do you like boys?" Amber thought that this question might open the door for Tj to tell her about him and Cyrus.

Tj was suddenly a lot more interested in the conversation. "What makes you ask that?"

"Well, you're really popular. There's tons of beautiful, nice girls who would love to date you, yet you've never had a girlfriend." Amber said, just now realizing that there have been signs all along.

"Okay. You caught me, can you get out now." He said, hostilely. Amber still wanted to know about Cyrus.

"Well do you like anyone? Is there anyone special at the moment?" Amber was pushing him farther and farther until he was willing to spill.

"No, there isn't."

Amber wasn't taking that as an answer, she wanted Tj to know that she was okay with it, and that they didn't have to hide anymore. "Tj I know about you and Cyrus." Tj froze. What Amber just said terrified him. "I want you to know that I think it's amazing, the two people I love most are both happy. What else could I ask for? You guys don't have to hide from me."

Tj looked at her, then pulled her in for a comforting hug.

~

Amber and Cyrus' weekly sleepovers now included Tj. Cyrus always made sure to not disclude Amber, while still having alone time with Tj.

For now Amber was the only person who knew, but that was fine for the boys because at least they had somewhere they knew they could be themselves.

[ashleyspinelliburnbook]

S1E7: I Will Kick No More Forever/The Kid Came Back

It was bound to happen eventually, but these two were...not as good as the others? I don’t know, y’all. I didn’t feel fulfilled or inspired watching this pair of episodes. But I tried...for one of them, anyway.

I Will Kick No More Forever

Well, okay, there was one inspiring thing. Gretchen and Gus doing commentary for the kickball games made me think they should probably do a podcast together. So here’s a sports podcast that happens to be about the plot of this episode!

(I’m just going to write this all at once and see what happens. I have only ever written TV scripts, so I’m just winging it. Forgive me.)

GRETCHEN: I’m Gretchen Grundler.

GUS: And I’m Gus Griswald.

GRETCHEN: And this is “I am in Sports.”

[theme music]

[theme music fades]

[nat sound: kickball noises]

GRETCHEN: Kickball. Or as it’s known in most of Canada, “soccer baseball.” A sport of humble origins, and today, one of the most popular recess games in the United States.

GUS: You might not know all the names of some of the great kickballers in the storied history of the sport, but today, we’d like to introduce you to one in particular who took the playground by storm.

[nat sound fades]

ANNOUNCER (SOT): “Here comes Vince ‘The Foot’ LaSalle!”

ANNOUNCER 2 (SOT): “Kicks lefty, throws righty...”

ANNOUNCER 3 (SOT): “And that ball’s not coming back! A home run!”

ANNOUNCER 4 (SOT): “The undisputed, single greatest kicker that Third Street School has ever seen.”

GRETCHEN: Vince LaSalle. A fourth-grader in name only, he made everyone from kindergarteners to sixth-graders quiver in their kickball shoes whenever he stepped up to the plate.

GUS: His trajectory was storied. He was the only known kindergartener in Third Street School history to be invited to play with the first-grade kickball team, and by second grade, he was challenging sixth-graders to play.

GRETCHEN: This confidence was impressive. Inspiring, even. But it wasn’t meant to last.

VINCE (SOT): “Okay, everyone! Outfield in!”

GRETCHEN: It was a regular Tuesday, bottom of the ninth inning. Recess would be over in about two minutes. Ashley Q. was at the plate, fresh off a phone call, and Vince made the call to bring the outfield in.

GUS: It would be the last time anyone on the playground would trust him for a long time.

ANNOUNCER 5 (SOT): “That ball is up! And up! And up! Good golly, that ball is gone! It’s out of this world! Ashley Q., ladies and gentlemen!”

- SOT -

VINCE (on phone): “It was...horrible.”

GUS: “Horrible?”

VINCE: “When you make a call like that, bringing the outfield in, bringing everyone in, you don’t...that’s not what’s supposed to happen.”

GUS: “What is supposed to happen?”

VINCE: “Well, the opposite of that.”

- END SOT -

GRETCHEN: The next day, Third Street School received a long distance call — very long-distance. This call was from a busy street in Beijing, China.

PRINCIPAL PRICKLY (SOT, on phone): “They said they found our ball. I was like, what? What ball? And the man on the phone explained, you know, your ball. It says your school’s name right here.”

GRETCHEN: Ashley Q. had recorded the longest kick the school had ever seen. And Vince? Well, he didn’t take it so well.

- SOT -

VINCE (on phone): “I just started whiffing.”

GUS: “Whiffing?”

VINCE: “Everything. Just, missing everything. The next game, you know, the ball would be rolled to me just like usual. Kicked it right back into the pitcher’s hands. Kicked it foul. Missed it entirely.”

GUS: “What about after that game?”

VINCE: [sighs] “You know what’s worse than being picked last?”

GUS: “Not really. I’m picked last a lot.”

VINCE: “Have you ever not been picked at all?”

GUS: “Wow, no. How did that make you feel?”

VINCE: [laughs] “Well, after that, I left the sport.”

- END SOT -

[brooding music]

VINCE (SOT): “I am announcing my retirement from kickball. I will kick no more, forever.”

[brooding music fades]

GRETCHEN: Vince was distraught. Even though he was sure in his decision to leave the sport he loved, he didn’t take the transition well.

GUS: We visited him after school one day — a day he’d missed, we weren’t sure why — and found him in front of the TV, drinking root beer and eating doughnuts. It wasn’t pretty.

GRETCHEN: He kept repeating something, we didn’t know what at first. We tried to ask him to speak more slowly, articulate, enunciate. And then Gus finally figured it out.

GUS: “I was outkicked by an Ashley.” Over and over again. Just...gut punch.

[SFX - EXPLOSION]

- SOT -

GRETCHEN: “So we are...in my bedroom right now. Me, Gus, TJ, everyone. And I just showed them [crash in background] — Guys, what was that?”

TJ: “Sorry. Lost control of the Flubber again.”

GRETCHEN: “Glorp. It’s called glorp.”

TJ: “Yeah, whatever it is, it’s awesome. This should do the trick.”

- END SOT -

GUS: It was supposed to be a science fair project, right?

GRETCHEN: Yes, it was one of my attempts to invent a substance to replace liquid soap. But what I got instead was a bouncy...well...glorp.

GUS: And remind me what the plan was?

GRETCHEN: The plan was to create a diversion and switch out the kickball with the glorp ball. It’s much easier to kick, and it goes a lot farther. We just wanted to give Vince his confidence back, even if we had to bend the truth a little to do it.

GUS: My job was to switch the ball after Mikey and TJ created the diversion, from the kickball to the glorp ball.

[spy music]

- SOT -

MIKEY: “My foot! My foot!”

TJ: “Mikey! Are you okay? Can you play?”

MIKEY: “No! But if I don’t play, you’ll have to forfeit!”

TJ: “I’m sure there’s someone else we can use.”

- END SOT -

[spy music fade]

GRETCHEN: [laughing] Okay, it was a bad plan. It was not the best plan. But it worked.

ANNOUNCER 6 (SOT): “What’s this? Vince LaSalle, disgraced kickballer, appears to be coming out of retirement to replace the injured Mikey!”

TJ (SOT, on phone): “I was just trying to tell him, like, ‘If you don’t kick, we’ll lose the game,’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, well, get used to it.’ And I go, ‘Well, the only thing that makes you a loser is not trying.’ And it did the trick.”

ANNOUNCER 6 (SOT, CONT.): “He’s kicking righty today, maybe a revamped routine to make this try at his career go a little better, and...Oh my! Oh my word! That ball is gone! It’s in the stratosphere! It’s past the stratosphere! Where is that ball! No one knows, but Vince LaSalle has done it! He’s won the game!”

GRETCHEN: Here’s the thing. We all felt incredibly guilty after the fact. Because it was just the glorp ball. It wasn’t Vince. And still, we couldn’t tell him. But then it turned out we didn’t have to tell him.

GUS: I remember this moment so well. I was running back from the bathroom, wondering why the game was over.

GRETCHEN: And we were wondering why you were out of breath. You weren’t the one who had just kicked the ball into parts unknown. But then we learned the reason was...

GUS: I didn’t make the switch. I went to the bathroom, left the glorp ball outside, and when I came back, it was gone.

GRETCHEN: Vince had done it all on his own. His confidence was real.

[SOT - “Vince! Vince! Vince!”]

GRETCHEN: The world’s greatest kickballer was back in business.

[fade SOT]

[theme music]

- SOT -

[phone rings]

PRINCIPAL PRICKLY: “Hello?”

HAROLD STEVENS: “Hey, Principal Prickly, this is Harold Stevens at NASA. Look, I just wanted to reach out and say we won’t be charging you for the damage because this seems like a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”

PRICKLY: “Excuse me? Damage? What did those kids get up to this time?”

STEVENS: “Oh, well, the kickball dent on the space shuttle. It won’t be a problem.”

PRICKLY: “What?”

[click]

- END SOT -

[theme music fades]

Takeaway: I need a Gus and Gretchen podcast YESTERDAY.

The Kid Came Back

Look, everyone. The previous recap was so long, and I don’t want to overshadow it by going too deep into this one. This episode was just...a baby thriller, you know what I mean? All the elements of a creepy story tailor-made for kids, but absolutely no payoff. It was an insult, frankly.

In short, a kid no one has seen before starts following the gang around, and bad things start happening to them. They decide it’s because of the kid, so they tell him to buzz off, and he starts crying. The gang’s takeaway is that, oops, our bad luck wasn’t caused by this kid! And so they go apologize, and then they learn he has other friends anyway. The lesson is not to tell kids to buzz off...or so we thought, until another mysterious girl shows up at the very end and the gang runs away from her immediately so as to not engage. We never learn what’s causing their bad luck.

Just...skip this one. I hope the next one is better and that we’re not rolling down an infinitely long hill. Who haven’t we checked in with in a while? Have we had a TJ-centered episode yet? I’d be fine with that.

Takeaway: I need to tighten up my scriptwriting so I don’t run out of steam before even getting the chance to make fun of a bad episode, lol.

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.08, “I Got Your Number”

Let’s see if I still remember how to do this.

Wait. Nope. That’s not it.

One second.

The episode begins with Andi and Bex in their apartment. There we go.

Andi says Bex is using her charger because it has pink tape on it, but then Bex finds another charger and it also has pink tape on it.

Then Bowie jams his head through the still-unfixed giant hole in the wall.

Those bricks look like loose teeth. They’re going to fall out any second. The whole wall is going to come down and no one seems to care.

Bowie also has a charger with pink tape on it and Bex realizes Andi has put pink tape on all the chargers as a ploy to be able to seize any charger she sees for her own use.

I don’t know how Andi thought that plan was going to hold up for longer than a minute. Once Bex found another charger with pink tape on it, it was all over.

On the other hand, I’m glad she’s doing sneaky stuff like this. It’s like living with a little velociraptor. She’s clever and dangerous and always plotting something. It keeps Bex and Bowie on their toes and keeps their minds active, which is important as you start to age.

The next day, Buffy finds Andi at the Jefferson Middle School Machu Picchu.

She delivers her a handwritten invitation to hang out that weekend. It’s a bit extra, but I appreciate the effort.

Then Buffy says her plan is to watch a ton of bad dance-themed movies and reels off a list of films that -- and I did the math on this -- would take Andi and Buffy over 16 full hours to watch. It would basically be: wake up, watch nothing but dance movies the entire day, then go to bed.

Buffy calls it the “DanceDance Film Festival.”

I call it cruel and unusual punishment.

I’m pretty sure the Geneva Convention has rules against treating prisoners of war this way.

Watching 16 straight hours of dance movies sounds like something a conspiracy theorist barking up a wrong, dumb tree would do.

If I was trapped in a steel box for 16 hours and had nothing but a portable DVD player and the Step Up films, I’d spend my time trying to punch my way out of the steel box. (don’t @ me, Step Up fans)

Andi’s into the idea though, except she can’t do it because she already has plans for that night with Amber. Andi suggests they do it tonight, but Buffy has plans with Walker.

They decide to postpone this marathon of pain until another time and say they’ll plan out a future date for it. And then they both talk about how crazy it sounds for them to be making plans like some kind of lame adults or something.

20! Hah! Can you imagine? Can you even imagine??

*laughs and laughs and laughs until the laughter turns into tears and now I’m laughing and crying and I don’t know if I can stop* Help me.

Speaking of being old, Bex and Bowie read books on the couch. Bex asks Bowie to hold her foot which makes Bowie feel like they’re an elderly married couple. They swap visions about how cool it’d be to be unaware seniors.

Then Bowie tells Bex he could see her as a grandma...

...which is something I would never say to someone. I don’t care if she’s 100 and wearing a shirt that says “Ask me about my grandchildren!” You let them say they’re a grandma first, and then you always say something like, “You’re a grandma?? That’s crazy! I’d never have guessed!”

All this talk of being old freaks Bex and Bowie out and they decide to get out and have themselves a little romantic evening. The type only young folk have.

Over at one of Cyrus’s houses, Cyrus brings Jonah down to his stepdad’s man cave for some ping pong. Jonah is surprised Cyrus has a ping pong setup, but Cyrus says it’s because until recently his stepdad was using it for civil war reenactments.

Oh so they’ll let Cyrus imitate guns firing but they won’t let him say gay. Ok.

They start to play and Cyrus quickly goes up 3-0.

Suddenly, TJ comes waltzing down the stairs.

Who let him in? Do Cyrus’s parents know him? Does he have a key? Was he already in the house, stalking around like a cat? I like any and all of these possibilities.

Either way, he’s here now. Just in time to congratulate Cyrus on taking a 3-0 lead. He does this by saying, “Niceberg.”

Sorry. Hold up. I gotta rewind.

This’ll just take a second.

Ok. Be right with you.

Alright, just gonna put that in the mail and I’ll be right back.

Ok. Back.

Anyway, long story short, I don’t feel like “Niceberg” is gonna catch on the same way “Underdog” did.

Jonah’s mood immediately flips. He starts looking for any reason to get out of the basement.

Cyrus is like, if this is about the gun thing, we worked that out. Jonah’s like, it’s not about that. I couldn’t care less about that. I had the Metcalf tattoo thing and the Libby thing, I barely even know what happened.

Jonah storms out, leaving Cyrus and TJ in a metaphorical hole of confusion.

Also, like, a literal hole. Because that’s kind of what a basement is? A hole in the ground? I’m trying too hard to be poetic I think. You can’t force art.

Jonah retreats to Red Rooster Records. He wants to know why he wasn’t warned of this surprise TJ. Cyrus is like, I didn’t think I had to.

You’re universally liked and you universally like everyone back. You know, like a Golden Retriever.

Cyrus says TJ’s in between friends right now, what with TJ sending Reed and Lester up the river to Sing Sing to do 10 years hard time.

Jonah says he’ll never be friends with TJ. He says it’s a long and embarrassing story, though I imagine it’s nothing like the embarrassment Alfonso Mazzanti would feel if he saw his record was still sitting unpurchased in this ratty store.

Does no one in Shadyshade have an appreciation for opera anymore?!

Jonah says the story goes all the way back to little league and we get basically a Drunk History retelling of the Jonah/TJ fight, except Jonah’s obviously not drunk, he’s just Jonah, so, you know: Jonah History.

And the story is this: Jonah used to love baseball. He idolized Roberto Clemente. Now, I’m not going to argue Clemente isn’t an all-time great, but I do find it strange that this kid in Shadyside loved a player who spent his entire career in Pittsburgh and died some 40 years before Jonah was even born. Most kids just go with Derek Jeter, but to each his own I guess. Anyway, Jonah wanted a “21″ jersey to be like Clemente.

But before he got to wear it, it was nabbed by a young TJ, from way back before he changed the direction his hair parts.

This leads to an argument where young Jonah gets angwee.

Cyrus asks Jonah if he cried, but Jonah invokes the baseball law laid down by Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own: there’s no crying in baseball. Cyrus says that’s just a line from a movie, but since when did he become an expert on sports? Stay in your lane, Cyrus.

Jonah says the jersey thing led to a shoving match that got stopped by his dad (their coach) before it could get too far. Jonah took another jersey, but the emotional scars remained. He couldn’t take the pain of watching TJ playing in his number and Jonah would never play a real sport again, banished forever to a lifetime of frisbee.

Cyrus says Jonah has proclaimed multiple times that Ultimate Frisbee is a real sport, and Jonah’s like, “Yeah...”

...let’s stop lying to ourselves about what frisbee is.

Jonah thinks the whole grudge is stupid, but Cyrus feels that it’s clearly important to him and it’s part of what shaped him as a person, so it can’t be that stupid.

Cyrus wants to figure out why TJ did it. Jonah thinks it’s because he’s permanently mean. Cyrus is like, no, he isn’t. He just has resting mean face.

Jonah feels glad to have talked it out and says he’s ready to let it go, but Cyrus isn’t, more so for TJ’s sake than anyone else’s at this point, I assume.

That night, Andi and Amber walk through a parking lot. Amber asks about the Buffy/Walker situation, which Andi says is still a situation, although she’s feeling less strict about following the Girl Code’s laws to reacting to such situations. They discuss how there’s room for interpretation as far as the Girl Code goes. It’s not exactly the Ten Commandments chiseled into stone.

Andi suddenly realizes they’ve been walking a long time and have somehow found themselves deep in the warehouse district.

Amber leads Andi towards a warehouse party. Andi starts to get a little unsure about this whole thing. As they head for the entrance, a man with facial hair exits.

A man that does not shave on a regular basis is one of the best indicators of questionable behavior in the area. You know the old saying: clean faces, clean hearts.

Amber says it’s a high school party, but not to worry, because she’ll protect Andi. They head inside.

Guys. This high school party. I’m losing my mind. I feel like I could make 1000 gifs of the people dancing in this place. I’m not going to, but I could.

Because this party...

is a party...

for dweebs.

I mean, I get part of the problem. It’s Disney Channel. They aren’t allowed to really show anything, so nothing like underage drinking or whatever. You just have to assume it’s an intimidating party off-screen. Ok. Fine.

But maybe the costume designer could’ve put everyone in less floral prints?

There’s very little that’s intimidating about a floral print unless it’s being worn by some kind of iron fist island dictator.

Andi gets separated real quick from Amber and immediately begins to panic.

Bex and Bowie, meanwhile, take a romantic nighttime carriage ride through the park when they get a text from Andi about the warehouse party.

Bowie asks the carriage driver (conductor? horsier?) to take him to Andi.

I hope he understands these carriages are not taxis. I’m not even sure they’re really street legal.

Bex is surprised to find out Andi snuck off to a warehouse party, but Bowie says at least she came clean to them about it within minutes.

Bex wants to know if the carriage can go faster. Bowie stops the carriage instead and says he’s going to run all the way across town to the Meatpacking District to get their daughter.

Bex stops him and says he’s doing a great job as a dad. Really dadding it up. And then they make out again.

These two. They’re always making out. It’s like, get a room.

Bex sends him to find Andi and he takes off running as the carriage horsier sits in uncomfortable silence.

Bowie finds his way to the warehouse party and runs in with the pitch perfect energy of a dad come to take his teenage daughter away from a party.

Although, and I don’t want to harp on this too much again, but if I was Bowie and walked into this party and this was the first thing I saw...

...I’d breathe a big sigh of relief.

I’d be like, “Oh, thank God: dweebs. It’s a dweeb party. Phew.”

He quickly finds Andi and she asks him what took so long. They start to leave when Amber returns. She’s like, are you leaving? And Bowie’s like, you’re darn tootin’ she’s leaving! Amber tries to take the blame but Bowie says it was Andi’s decision and she’ll take responsibility for it. They leave together.

Outside, Andi thinks Bowie’s whole dad thing was an act, but it turns out he was actually very much in dad mode. He says her behavior has led him to not trust her at this moment and then he throws his hand over his mouth like he just called Andi an expletive by mistake.

Bowie and Andi are shocked by this sudden dad-ness.

Andi promises to never do this again, but Bowie isn’t listening because all he can hear is how much he just sounded like his father. He and Andi both see this as a big moment in their father/daughter relationship, and I guess that sort of releases any of the tension as it seems Bowie actually isn’t going to follow up on any of the punishment talk.

They head off. Bowie tells Andi to call Bex but before she can, Bex shows up in the carriage in the middle of this industrial parking lot like some kind of misplaced Disney Princess.

Andi realizes she’s ruined Bex and Bowie’s date night, but they forgive her and all ride off together.

At Cyrus’s house, Cyrus has brought TJ and Jonah back together to solve this little league thing. TJ thinks it’s crazy. Jonah wants to let it go but TJ doesn’t want Jonah going around rest of his life proclaiming him some kind of jersey thief.

At this point, I was kind of like, “Oh, I actually like TJ’s outfit here.”

But then I was like, “Hold on a second. Enhance.”

That’s a basketball hoop! This is a surprise basketball shirt outfit!

Dammit! I can’t believe how many basketball themed shirts he has in his closet.

Anyway, Cyrus pulls up a picture of the two in little league.

Both Jonah and TJ think this proves their point.

But then Cyrus confirms the jersey number is actually 21 and TJ realizes his dyscalculia has struck again.

He explains to Jonah he’s got a learning disability. That this whole thing has been something of a misunderstanding.

Jonah apologizes for holding onto this grudge for so long and for never thanking him for helping him when he was having a panic attack at the Bash Mitzvah.

TJ notes that everyone has struggles.

Cyrus notes his fear of flamingos, which is not the first thing I’d think of when it comes to him, but I don’t disagree. They have unnaturally thin legs.

I don’t trust them for one second.

Jonah and TJ fist bump to end the grudge.

That was such a great little scene. One, for tying up the TJ/Jonah loose end from the Bash Mitzvah, but two, for showing these characters’ growth. It’s nice to see these two, who had previously been so guarded, be able to discuss their mental health openly without fear or anger, and then support each other.

On the other hand, Jonah’s now told TJ about his anxiety before he’s told Andi about it. I guess she was always going to be the hardest one to tell, but uh... yeah...

Speaking of Andi, she shows up at Buffy’s house with a big ol’ bag of popcorn and a pretty sweet new impression.

She explains the party was no fun, but that Buffy is. She wants to hang with her and participate in her crazy film festival.

They start dancing the night away.

Buffy asks if they’ll still be doing this when they’re 20.

*laughs and cries until I’m suddenly scream-wailing into the night sky for some reason* I’m fine.

They dance and dance until the episode ends.

So I guess there really isn’t going to be any punishment if Bowie and Bex just let Andi go hang out with a friend that very night.

Unless they heard what Buffy’s plans were and decided that was punishment enough.

Sure it seems like fun now, but when she’s at hour 12 of this and the credits are rolling on Step Up 3D and then Buffy goes, “Awesome! Let’s watch it again!”, Andi’s going to be wishing she was grounded.

[sillyxkittyy]

Everything Makes Me Think Of You

I wrote a small angsty Tyrus ficlet based on this post: x from @theobligatedklutz. I wanted to resist from writing Tyrus fics based on 3x13 but when I saw this, I couldn’t resist. Here’s the link on AO3: x

Enjoy! <3

~~~~~~ 

Seven days. Seven days it’s been since Cyrus last spoke to TJ. Seven days it’s been since he saw who he thought was his best friend doing a matching costume with Kira, of all people. An entire week since his life had gone completely upside down. He wanted to say that he expected it, that he knew this was coming, but he would be lying. In reality, Cyrus really did think TJ would do the costume with him. The way the other boy’s face lit up when he thought of the idea, the way he was so eager to do it, heck, just the simple fact that he wanted with him. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from getting his hopes up. From getting excited. He had even abandoned Andi’s idea to do this costume, because it was personal to them, because no one except him could’ve done it, because it was an inside joke, and just the thought of TJ coming up with a costume about something that no one else would understand except them made his heart warm up. He had dressed up as freaking salt, in the hopes of being able to finally match with someone. Unfortunately for him, TJ seemed to feel differently about that, because he hadn’t come with his part of the costume. He was the one who suggested it, and he was the one who bailed. Cyrus felt played, betrayed, upset. He felt like a fool. How could he have been so stupid to think that anyone would want to do a costume with him? He knew better than that. And yet, he had let himself be convinced otherwise. 

Maybe it was because he thought TJ was different. Or maybe, just maybe, he had the slightest bit of hope that he liked him- and not just as a friend. Because, and Cyrus realized it now, what he felt towards TJ wasn’t just what he felt towards Buffy, or Andi, or even Jonah. It was way more than that. Everything seemed better when he was around. He liked seeing him smile, he liked seeing him want to become a better person, he liked just watching him be excited about something he liked. He liked the colour of his eyes, he liked it when he called him Underdog... he liked him. He didn’t like to admit it, heck, it took him forever to finally accept it, but there was no doubt now; he was in love with TJ Kippen. And maybe that why it made it so hard. 

He avoided him at school, he didn’t respond to his texts or calls, he just couldn’t face him. Not yet. He felt like he was falling apart, but of course he’d never show it. When his friends asked, he’d just brush it off, tell them he’s just tired. It wasn’t completely a lie, really, because he had been losing sleep these couple of days. He lied awake at night, thinking of TJ with Kira and their costume, or thinking of his smile, or thinking of how much he missed him. He didn’t want to miss him, but he couldn’t help it. Sometimes, he just took his phone and looked at his contact name, urging to just send a text. Just to hear his voice again, just to be able to talk to him again. But somehow, his heart just ached each time, and he ended up not doing it. On the outside, he looked fine, but on the inside, he was completely broken. He tried everything he could to hide it, to look fine, but the more days that passed by, the more his shell seemed to break. His friends seemed to notice, because they seemed more concerned, but he just brushed them off. Of course, they knew what happened, so they probably knew why he was upset, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He just wanted to live his life, and just forget about this whole thing. Somehow, however, everything in his life made it impossible to do so. It was like everything he did made him think of TJ. 

On Wednesday, as he attended Buffy’s basketball practice, he had seen him pass by the gym. He had prayed every God in the universe that TJ wouldn’t see him, but in vain. The blond boy glanced at the gym and had seen him. Cyrus didn’t know what hurt most, the fact that TJ had been standing there, or the fact that he had immediately lowered his gaze. The fact that he couldn’t even look at him hurt him in a way even he couldn’t understand. He knew why TJ did that, and yet, it had stung worse than he would admit. He had felt like he wanted to vomit. He had almost broke, right there, but he had just repressed his feelings and put a smile on his face. TJ had eventually left, and Cyrus was unable to cheer Buffy on like he usually did. His hands had been trembling, and the tears were so close. He was able to hold it in until the end, though, but as he tried to get home, he knew he wouldn’t be able to make it. He had simply made a detour to the bathroom, and locked himself in a stall. He hated that, this situation, feeing miserable and vulnerable, feeling like things couldn’t get better. He wished he could just ignore his feelings and be happy again. He wished he could talk to TJ again. But would he want to? He did apologize to him, but did he mean it? He couldn’t know if he didn’t ask, but somehow, he was still hesitant to do that. 

It was Friday evening now, he had just come back from school when he was greeted by his step-mother, who had a big grin on her face. She looked excited, and Cyrus didn’t know how to take that. He raised an eyebrow. 

“What is going on?” He inquired, a bit afraid of her answer. His step-mother just took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen. Cyrus didn’t even have time to complain, he didn’t really have the energy either, so he just let her. On the way there, she finally spoke up again. 

“So you know that bakery? From across the street?” Cyrus simply nodded, unable to give a more elaborate answer. “Well, I did a bit of investigating and turns out, they do sell those muffins you like a lot. You know, the same ones you’ve been talking about for weeks?” They arrived in the kitchen, and she directed his gaze towards the kitchen table. Right there, in front of him, laid a tray filled with blueberry macadamia muffins. Cyrus felt like his heart literally jumped out of his chest. His step-mom only grinned. 

“I was able to order a few just for you. I hope you like them” Cyrus just stared at the muffins, unable to speak. He felt like his throat was dry all of a sudden, like the world was just spiralling, like all the feeling he had been concealing for the past week were about to erupt. He was trying so hard not to cry. Of all the things in the universe, it had to be these specific muffins. TJ’s favorites. It was as if all the pain he’d been feeling just slapped him in the face all at once. His bottom lip started quivering, which his step-mom didn’t miss. 

“Cyrus? Is everything okay, honey?” And after that sentence, he was long gone.  He couldn’t hold everything in anymore, it was as if just seeing those muffins was like seeing TJ himself. He just burst out in tears, and he was unable to stop.  His step-mom just stared at him, completely confused, but she hugged him, asking no questions. She let him cry for a bit, because he was not stopping, and she just grew even more concerned. 

“I-I’m... s-so-sorry, I just...” he can’t even finish the sentence, he just continues to sob. God, he needed to get himself together. But somehow, he was unable to do that. He tried to take deep breaths to calm down, swallowing hard. He felt so weak, so vulnerable, so... pathetic. He was shaking in his step-mom’s arms, the sobs getting more and more intense. She just frowns. 

“Do you... not like the muffins?” She seemed so concerned, and now Cyrus just felt absolutely horrible. He pulled away from her a bit, shaking his head. 

“It’s not... it’s not that” he started, his voice shaky and cracked. “I-I appreciate the effort, and the muffins, really. I do. I just...” he bit his lip and looked down. “I just have... stuff going on” he didn’t really feel like going into details. Not right now. “I’ll tell you all about it soon, okay? I...” 

“You need some time, alone, I get that” she finished for him, a small smile on her face. Cyrus nodded, sniffling as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Y-yeah...”

“I understand. But... know that I’m here if you need anything” she spoke softly. Cyrus managed to smile weakly. 

“I-I know. And I’m thankful for that” he gives her one last hug before going to his room. On the way, he eyed the tray of muffins lonely before taking one with him. No matter how much it hurt to see them, he couldn’t not eat at least one, they were just too good. He stared at it while he sat on his bed pensively. His hands were trembling. ‘Blueberry macadamia nut is my favourite type of muffins. Remember that’ TJ had told him one day. God, why did everything remind him of him? No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get him out of his head. Of all the people he could’ve fallen for, it had to be TJ, the captain of the basketball team, the cool guy, probably the one guy he couldn’t have. He was really setting himself up for disappointment. He ate the muffin in silent, feeling more tears up his eyes. He’d been crying and moping for an entire week in his room, and he was sick of that. He just wished things would go back to normal. He just wanted to call TJ. He took out his phone and just stared at his home screen. Of course, it had to be a picture of him and TJ, why did he have to be such a sap? He hated himself for smiling even the slightest at the sight of it too. It took him everything not to slap himself back to reality. His hands were trembling, but he still managed to go on his contacts and stare at his messages with TJ. He took his sleeve to wipe the tears off his eyes again. His heart ached so much, but after a week, he was finally going to actually read what TJ sent him. 

Teej <3 : Cyrus 

Teej <3 : Cyrus, please answer my texts 

Teej <3 : Look, I know I messed up but please, let me explain myself 

Teej <3 : Jesus, I feel horrible, and I swear, there’s a perfectly good explanation for this 

Teej <3 : I don’t care if you don’t forgive me, I want to at least talk

Teej <3 : I miss you so much 

Teej <3 : Cyrus... 

There were so many more, followed by a bunch of missed calls as well. Cyrus hadn’t realized that he was crying again until he noticed that his phone screen was wet. He took a deep breath. Now, he just felt even more horrible, because it seemed like TJ felt genuinely bad. Part of him was yelling at him to not answer these texts, to just continue ignoring him, but the other part wanted to forgive him. Because being away from him was just too bad. That realization had hit him like a truck when he had seen the muffins on the table. He really did genuinely miss him, and it killed him, it absolutely killed him on the inside. But he didn’t feel ready. He still felt like TJ was going to hurt him again. He didn’t know what to think, he didn’t know how to feel. He was angry at him, he was upset at him, but he also loved him. Gathering all the courage he could, he made himself type a message. 

Me: you have five minutes. 

Did it sound too cold? Too rude? He didn’t know, but he wanted to show TJ that yes, he was still upset at him, but that he was willing to give him a chance. He did feel a bit bad, though, but he couldn’t help himself. The response came way quicker than he expected because almost immediately, his phone buzzed. It was almost as if TJ was waiting for this text.

Teej <3 : CYRUS!

Teej <3 : CYRUS OH MY GOD

Teej <3 : i didn’t think you’d finally answer nhsjsks

Teej <3 : i missed you so much

me: four minutes 

Cyrus almost felt bad for being so rude, truly. He couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter when he saw how much TJ seemed to miss him, though. But he didn’t want to get his hopes up again. 

Teej <3 : oh oh okay fuck uh 

Teej <3 : wait i feel like i can’t... do this in text 

Teej <3 : can we... like... meet up? 

Cyrus hesitated at that. His heartbeat accelerated just at the thought of him seeing TJ again face to face and talking to him. He didn’t feel ready to face him yet. However... he just wanted the pain to stop. He just wanted them to hang out again, like they used to. He just wanted to see him smile again. 

Me: yeah, sure 

Teej <3 : omg wait for real?! like actually-

Me : yes

Teej <3 : okay okay uh- meet me at the swings at 10? 

God, Cyrus couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly at that. ‘The swings’ it was their thing. Their place. He didn’t want to feel hope again, but god, it was so hard. It had taken everything he could not to go to the swings during the past week- just because he was scared that TJ would be there, waiting for him which, after the gun incident, could be a possibility at this point. But now, he couldn’t resist. Despite every voice in his head telling him no, he couldn’t see himself saying no. He wanted to know if this friendship was worth keeping, or if TJ didn’t care. He had to know. 

Me: sure 

Teej <3 : oh my god jdjsksks okay uh  

Teej <3 : does the time to get there count in the five minutes? 

Even in the hardest times, this boy managed to make him smile. Dammit, he couldn’t even stay mad at him. He couldn’t stop himself from chuckling at that. 

Me: no, don’t worry about that.  

Teej <3 : okay, see you there then :)

He felt himself melt just because of one simple smiley. TJ was happy to go meet him. Happy to maybe mend things. He finally stood up from his bed, shoving his phone in his pocket. He felt like he was going to regret this, like this was a bad idea. If Buffy and Andi knew about this, they’d probably dissuade him not to do it. He was just setting himself to be hurt. However, he’d rather get hurt than to just stay with unanswered questions. If this was the end, he needed to rip the bandage and get it over with. 

——————-

Cyrus was sitting on one of the swings, making himself swing back and forth slowly, feeling anxious. He didn’t know how to feel, to talk to TJ again. He still felt like the wound was fresh from yesterday. Should he even be doing this? If he were to give him another chance, would he hurt him again? Would he feel that same aching pain on the inside? Would he still lose sleep at night, wondering if TJ thought of him like he did? If TJ also felt butterflies whenever he crossed his mind too? Those thoughts scattered his head constantly. He’s always had that fear at the back of his mind, but now, it just felt even more real. He suddenly heard footsteps near him, and his heart skipped a few beats. 

“Hey Cyrus” he’d recognize his voice between thousands. He didn’t even have to turn his head, he knew TJ was standing right next to him. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat now. He slowly turned his head, meeting his gaze.

“TJ” his tone was neutral, not cold per say, but more hurt. TJ seemed a bit surprised by that but he just nods. 

“Alright, I deserve that” he simply said. He didn’t sit on the swings, he just stood there, staring at him. Cyrus stopped swinging, never looking away. The look in his eyes showed hesitation and fear, and TJ definitely caught up on that. He gulped nervously. “Listen... about what happened...” he’s so nervous, and even Cyrus notices it. He almost feels bad for a second, but he tries not to let it show. TJ takes a deep breath. “I said it before, and I’ll say it again, I’m sorry” Cyrus simply looks at him, silent for a few seconds. He wants to believe him, but he was just so hurt. He stood up and stared at him right in the eyes. 

“What exactly were you thinking, TJ? You should’ve told me that you didn’t want to do a costume with me. I...” he pauses, almost lowering his gaze, but maintaining it either way. “I would’ve understood” TJ remained silent at that, before frowning. 

“What do you mean by that?” This time, Cyrus couldn’t help but look away. 

“I mean that I know I’m replaceable okay? I get that you just wanted to do the costume by pity. I get that. But you could’ve...” he paused, feeling his eyes water up. If there was one thing he didn’t want to do, it was to cry right now. Not again. He sniffled. “Look, you could’ve just... told me you didn’t want to do it. I would’ve understood. I was supposed to do a costume with my friends, you know that? I was supposed to be Mount Rushmore with my friends, and I bailed on them to do a costume with you.”

“Cyrus...”

“And you bailed on me! Do you know how hurt I was? Do you know how...” he was really this closer from breaking again, so he stopped for a few seconds. “... how much I wanted to do this? I... god, it doesn’t matter, okay? It just... doesn’t” He finally quieted down, keeping his gaze down. He couldn’t see TJ, but he could see him shuffling his feet awkwardly, and hear him clearing his throat. 

“Cyrus... I had- I had no idea, really. I didn’t... god, I just feel worse now”

“You’re just saying that”

“But I’m not.” TJ said a bit louder and Cyrus looks up at him. “I mean it, I really do. It does matter how you feel, Cyrus. I never wanted to hurt you” Cyrus took a step closer, staring at him. 

“Then why did you? You could’ve... said no. Why did you do it, with Kira of all people?” There was a silence after that, as if TJ was afraid to answer. The look in his eyes changed, like he was about to make the biggest confession ever. He gulped. 

“Because... because I’m a coward, alright? She blackmailed me and... I was afraid to... say no because of that” now he was the one who lowered his gaze, and Cyrus softened up a bit, suddenly confused. 

“I... I don’t understand, what did she blackmail you about?” Yet another silence, and Cyrus swore each one was more painful than the previous. 

“... she... look, to tell you the truth, I really did want to do the costume, okay? I really did, I was excited about it, I literally thought about it all the time after I told you” he started. Cyrus’ heart skipped a beat again; did TJ really think of him and their costume like that? He tried not to let it distract him. “I even told Kira, I told her that I couldn’t do a costume with her, because I was set with you. I swear I did, and I was ready to find every excuse possible to not do it with her. However, she... told me things... and...” he stopped talking for a few seconds, and there was just a silence. Cyrus hated that silence, it just made him even more anxious. He dreaded what was coming, if he’d allow himself to admit it. He met TJ’s gaze, and it was suddenly filled with fear. He didn’t like that at all. 

“She got to my head, alright? She messed with me, messed with my feelings. She tried to imply that... this... us... that doing the costume with you was wrong” this time, Cyrus couldn’t help but frown. 

“Why would it be wrong?” 

“Because... because you’re a guy and I’m... I’m gay” Cyrus froze at that, unsure if he heard TJ correctly. 

“You’re... what?”

“I said I was gay” TJ repeated with a trembling voice. “I... I never told her explicitly, but I guess she caught up on it somehow... maybe from the way I act around you or something” he blushes at that, and Cyrus just stared, completely dumbfounded. “Look, what I want to say is that I’m sorry, okay? I just... fuck, I just got so scared to be outed or something. I know it was wrong but... people are just starting to like me, I didn’t want them to hate me all over again. I’m still... learning to be better, but obviously I still need to work on that. But God, Cyrus, whatever happens, I don’t want to lose you. You mean too much to me, okay, and I really did want to do the costume with you. I’ve felt horrible for an entire week, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I just... I’m sorry” his voice died down, and he gazed at the ground. Cyrus remained silent, shocked. He asked for the truth, but he didn’t expect the truth to hurt him so much. It was weird. 

“Did you... “ his voice was soft. “Did you think I was going to judge you because you were gay?” He asked, looking at him. TJ looked up, not saying anything.

“... I don’t know, maybe? I didn’t want to take the chance” his voice sounded so weak. “It’s not necessarily that though” Cyrus took another step closer and gathered all his courage to take his hands.

“I would never do that, TJ. I don’t care if you’re gay.” He paused, and TJ looked at him, hope in his eyes. “I had no idea Kira had done that to you. I feel so bad now” he sighed. “I thought you hated me or something, but turns out, it’s something way worse. She shouldn’t have done that, she shouldn’t have made you feel wrong. If I had known... I wouldn’t have avoided you for a week. I’m sorry.” There was yet another silence after that. 

“Don’t apologize, it’s okay. It’s my fault”

“It’s not” Cyrus shook his head. “It’s Kira’s. For the record, I want you to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you” TJ managed to smile weakly at Cyrus. 

“I know that. I just... didn’t feel ready for people to know”

“I get it. There’s a time and place for those kind of things” Cyrus, of all people, knew all too well how that felt. He then frowned a bit. 

“Wait, but earlier, you said that Kira picked up on the fact that you were gay... because of the way you acted around me? ” The other boy’s cheeks turned a bright red at that. 

“Yeah... I... I act differently around you, compared to everyone else. And it’s not... some sort of coincidence. It’s because I like you, Cyrus. I like you a lot” Hearing him say that sent Cyrus’ feeling spiralling. All the questions he’d be asking for months suddenly answered. All his fears, his insecurities, everything it was like everything made sense now. TJ liked him. TJ Kippen, his own crush, liked him. Never did he think he’d get this far. When he met his gaze again, it was filled with softness. He could honestly jump of joy right now. He felt relief, he felt pure happiness, he was all over the place. 

“I like you too”

“What?” TJ seemed confused for a second, like he didn’t hear right. Cyrus chuckled a bit. 

“O-oh... you do?” He clearly didn’t think he’d get that far. Cyrus nodded. 

“Yes, yes I do. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I couldn’t stop thinking about you” he finally admitted. How it felt nice to finally tell someone. TJ’s face literally lit up at that, and he hugged him happily. Cyrus laughed, patting him on the back. 

“God, I like you so much, I hope you always remember that okay? No matter how much stupid shit I do, please always remember that” Cyrus couldn’t help but smile at that. TJ actually genuinely liked him. No feeling in the world beat the one he felt at that moment, 

“I will, I promise” he pulled back a little to look at him. “You know, I think the universe wanted us to make up. The reason I finally got the courage to text you was because my step-mom bought blueberry macadamia nut muffins, and I thought of you” TJ chuckled a bit.

“Awwww, really?”

“Yeah” Cyrus blushed a bit. “I know they’re your favourite. And I ate one, it was delicious”

“Oh my god, I have to let me taste one” TJ pleaded. It only made Cyrus laugh. 

“Of course. I was planning on it” he barely finished his sentence that TJ was already tugging on his arm, which made Cyrus smile. He was glad that he had finally made up with TJ. It hadn’t been that hard, in the end, he had just needed a little push. A little push from the universe. 

[thecrandays]

All We Have (Chapter 1)

Summary: TJ had always looked up to his parent's relationship, ever since he was a kid he’d wanted to find someone who loved him just as much as his parents loved each other, possibly even more.

He had hope for their relationship even when they didn’t, so when his hit with the news that they’ve decided to end their marriage, he feels like his family won’t ever be the same.

When TJ’s forced to move schools, he meets Cyrus Goodman and slowly finds himself falling in love with him over the course of their friendship, but TJ doesn’t do love, he doesn’t believe in it and he absolutely doesn’t trust it.

ao3  

“C’mon Amber move over, Bubbles wants to get in too,” TJ whispered.

“Noo, Teej I’m comfortable,” Amber mumbled into her pillow.

TJ sat up in his bed and yanked the blanket of Amber’s body.

“What the fuck TJ?!” Amber shouted, scrambling to get the blanket back.

“I told you to make room for Bubbles,” TJ said picking up the dog and cooing at her.

“Why can’t she sleep with mom and dad,” Amber groaned.

“Their arguing scares her, doesn’t it baby? doesn’t it scare you?” TJ cooed, holding Bubbles above his head.

Amber scoffed and turned into her side.

“You’re not sleeping in your own room either,” TJ pointed out smugly.

Amber turned over and glared at TJ, “You know why,”

“They’ll stop arguing, things will go back to normal soon,” TJ said smiling reassuringly.

“No, they won’t Teej, they’ve been arguing for so long now they probably don’t know how to have a simple conversation without shouting at each other,” Amber exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air.

“Every couple argues Amber,” TJ said.

“They’ve been arguing since we were 12!” Amber said shaking her head, “Do you know how old we are now? We’re 15.”

“I know,” TJ snapped. “You think I don’t know? I know they’ve been arguing since we were 12! Sorry for having faith in my parent’s relationship,”

Amber sighed and tightened her ponytail, a trait she had gotten from their mom, “I’m sorry Tee Tee, it’s just been so hard listening to them argue every night”

TJ pressed his lips together and scoot closer to Amber.

He wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin on her head, “Let’s just get some sleep, yeah?”

Amber nod and pull herself away from the hug, lying back down.

“Good night baby brother.”

TJ snort, “Don’t call me that.”

TJ wait until he was sure that Amber was asleep before creeping out of his room and over to their parent’s room. Amber wasn’t wrong when she said they’d been arguing for a long time, TJ sometimes forgot that there was a time when their marriage was happy and he didn’t stay up listening to them argue.

But he knew things would solve themselves, his parents loved each other more than anything.

TJ knew eavesdropping wrong but, he couldn’t help it. He needed to know what they were talking about and if everything was alright or he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all.

He stood outside their room and put his ear to the door. TJ couldn’t hear what exactly they were saying, but from time to time he could hear something about money being brought up or the name ‘Cynthia’ shouted in angry tones.

When everything suddenly went quiet, TJ could feel the nerves in his stomach building up. He knew something bad was about to happen.

“Maybe- Maybe we should get a divorce,” TJ heard his dad whisper, breaking the silence.

He slowly backed away from the door and into a wall.

This couldn’t be happening.

His parents had been together for so long. TJ wanted to find someone who could love him as much as his parents loved each other but he couldn’t do that now because potently they didn’t.

He felt tears pricking at his eyes and took a shaky breath in, what were they supposed to do now? What would Amber say? Was one of them going to move out?

So many questions were going through his head, but his mind kept coming back to one.

Was this the end of their family?

He crept back into his room and lay back down next to Amber as if nothing had happened. If he would have stayed at the door, he’d have heard his mom crying and sobbing and his father apologising for hurting her. 

TJ sits across from Amber stirring his food around his plate. Everything was quiet, nobody looking up from their plates. The air had been tense since he and Amber had come home from school, TJ knows why. They were all trying to ignore the elephant in the room; he had had a fight at school and now he would attend a new school.

Ever since their parents had ended their marriage things went downhill for the family of four. It started with their dad moving out and into a small 3 bedroom apartment, leaving their mother in the house alone. Then the constant moving between houses for Amber and TJ, and money suddenly becoming an issue for his mom.

All that had taken a toll on TJ’s grades and his behaviour at school became worse and worse.

TJ had looked up to his parent’s relationship as an example of what a relationship should be like. Everything had been fine, and they had been so in love and then the arguing had started and they got a divorce. He didn’t understand how you could go from loving someone for so long and just decide one day they weren’t what you wanted anymore; he didn’t get how you could break the heart of someone you promised to love forever.

TJ wasn’t sure how he was supposed to be handling the divorce and going from one parent’s house to another. He knew it wasn’t his fault, and he had done nothing wrong, but his family wasn’t the same anymore, the relationship he had with his parents and Amber wasn’t the same anymore and he wasn’t sure what he’s supposed to do with that.

“Stop staring at me.” Amber snapped, bringing  TJ out of his thoughts.

“I wasn’t staring at you,” He knows he was maybe, probably staring at her, but it wasn’t intentional! Sometimes when he got too in his head and zone out his eyes would wander and focus on things in front of him.

“Yes, you were TJ,” Amber muttered irritatedly, getting annoyed faster than she normally would.

“How would you know I was looking at you if you weren’t looking at me,” TJ shot back smugly.

“Hm, I don’t know maybe because I could feel your fucking eyes burning holes into my head!” Amber growled.

“Language,” Evelyn mumbled.

“You wish my eyes could burn holes into your head,” TJ snickered.

“God, you’re such an asshole.”

“Amber, language!” Evelyn said, going ignored.

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“Why are all your insults things a 10-year-old would come up with?”

“Because that’s all your brain can comprehend,” TJ said, leaning back in his share smiling smugly to further annoy his sister.

“Okay, that’s enough the two of you!” Evelyn shouted, causing the twins to stop their bickering and look at her. “Amber, go to your room. I’d like to speak to your brother alone,”

Amber looked at TJ and stuck her tongue out before leaving the table.

TJ looked at his mom, really looked at her. She looked exhausted like she was barely standing up and he had done that because of his stupid actions she now had more problems.

“TJ, I don’t know what to say to you,” she sighed. “You’ve been so angry lately and now you do this. I’m so disappointed in you.”

TJ felt his eyes stinging with tears, “Mom, I’m sorry”

“TJ, you can’t get off on just saying sorry this time! You’re lucky you weren’t expelled, the principal was so nice about everything, it’s still such a shame you have to leave such a great school,”

TJ stayed quiet, he hadn’t wanted this to happen; he hadn’t wanted to have to transfer to a new school (if that’s what you could even call it; he had basically been kicked out) but he had messed everything up, now his mom was more stressed than ever and his dad would be furious with him.

“Mom,” TJ whispered, “I’m sorry, I really am.”

Evelyn tightened her ponytail and sighed, “You know better than this TJ. I called your dad, and he wants to have a chat with you in a few days.”

TJ clenched his jaw, his dad never had ‘chats’ with him, he brought up everything TJ was doing wrong in life and even though he never said it, TJ knows his father was trying to say he wanted him to be more like Amber.

“I did what I did for a reason,” TJ muttered under his breath.

“And you’re not telling anyone what that reason is TJ, so how do you expect me to be on your side?”

How was he supposed to tell his mom he had picked a fight with the guy because he heard him say things about Amber nobody should say about anyone? He knew it wouldn’t have mattered to Amber but TJ wasn’t just going to stand around and let the asshole disrespect his sister like that. Before he knew it, he was sitting in the principal’s office with his mom being told that maybe he should transfer schools, no, he wasn’t being expelled, the guy’s rich parents thought their child would be ‘unsafe’ in the same school of his ‘attacker’ and because they were rich, they got what they wanted.

TJ shrugged, his lips pulled into a thin line, “I’ve already messed up everything, what’s the point of trying to explain my side of things?”

TJ hated Jefferson before he even stepped into the school.

Walking into school without Amber felt weird. They had been apart before, yes; they weren’t one of those twins, but they had always done most things together and now not having her by his side to bicker with before going off to his classes actually kinda sucked.

The rest of the day went by in a flash, he had to go through introducing himself in every class and the occasional looks or whispers about him, but either than that nobody seemed to care that he was there. Not that he wanted anyone to care, he was happy flying under the radar.

When the bell rang signalling that his last class of the day was over and he could go home, TJ was a bit sad. Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t fond of school but he also didn’t want to go home, if he even had one anymore. The atmosphere in both his mother and father’s house was so miserable, it felt he was suffocating.

Yes, school suck, but TJ found it better than being in his house, surrounded by silence and thoughts that never seemed to stop.

TJ walked out of school and took a seat on a bench in front of the building not bothering to check if someone was already sitting there. He put in his headphones and let music flood his ears. Cyrus sighed, he’d been checking his phone every few minutes, he knew his friends were busy and had things and significant others they needed to spend time with but he’d at least thought they’d show up to see something he’d worked hard on.

If they wouldn’t show up, he would have at least appreciated a text or call, but nada, he had received no explanations.

He shot a quick text to his mom asking her to pick him up and letting her know there’d be a change of plans, then sat on a nearby bench.

Cyrus was so focussed on refreshing his texts that he didn’t notice the person walking towards the bench until they sat next to him, Cyrus jumped a little throwing a subtle glance towards the boy sitting next to him.

He didn’t seem to notice Cyrus sitting next to him, so Cyrus continued to ‘subtly’ look at the boy next to him.

His hair was styled up with quite a bit of gel, and it made Cyrus wonder what it would look like without it, his nose was slightly pointed and when Cyrus looked closer, he could see freckles dusting his nose, they were barely noticeable.

Cyrus was so lost in the boy’s facial features, that he didn’t notice when he turned to face him.

The boy’s cough broke Cyrus from his thoughts. Cyrus quickly looked away from him, he felt his cheeks warming up.

He felt mortified; he had just been caught checking out a stranger. Cyrus groaned, covering his face with his hands.

“I’ve heard if you take a picture it’ll last longer,” the boy said, smiling at Cyrus.

“I- I'm so sorry!, that was so rude of me I promise I don’t usually stare at strangers, that must have made you so uncomfortable”

“It’s all right, it’s fine. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone pay so much attention to the side of my face” he said, chuckling when Cyrus blushed.

Cyrus mentally facepalms, now this guy would forever remember him as ‘the boy who stares at the side of people’s face’ Andi and Buffy would never let him live that down.

“So, um, are you new here? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around,” Cyrus asked, changing the subject.

“Yup, transferred here from Grant.”

“Wow, isn’t Grant for like, smart rich kids?” Cyrus said, his eyes widening. Jefferson was a great school, but it was nothing compared to Grant.

“Neither of which I am,” the boy, as Cyrus had started calling him in his head, muttered darkly.

Cyrus probably wasn't supposed to hear what he said, so he let the conversation dwindle into an awkward silence.

“It's about to rain,” Cyrus said, looking up at the dark clouds, “Are you waiting for someone to pick you up?”

“Yes, my sister,” he said, checking his phone, “But she's apparently decided she’s not coming on time,”

“Yeah, I know what that’s like. My friends kind of stood me up today and I get they have commitments, my best friend on the basketball team and my other best friend probably had something important to do, but I would have at least appreciated a heads up. They probably forgot about it anyway,” Cyrus rambled, his whole face going red when he realised he said all that to a stranger, “Oh my god, you probably don’t care and I’m basically a stranger,”

“TJ.”

“What?”

“My name, it’s TJ,” TJ said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Now we’re not strangers, you know my name.”

“Oh,”

TJ laughed, before sticking his hand out, “And you are?”

“Cyr—” Cyrus was cut off before he would finish what he was going to say when someone beeped their car horn.

“Oh, shit, that’s my sister,” TJ said, scrambling off the bench to jog to his sister’s car, he looked back to wave at Cyrus before getting in.

Cyrus watched as the car drove away until it was completely out of site.

Huh, what a complete turn of events.

“So, who was the guy you were talking to?” Amber asked, glancing at him before focussing on the road.

“Just some random guy,” TJ said, closing his eyes and letting the sound of the rain was over him. This was the calmest he had felt in days and he would savour it until he was brought back to the reality that nothing was going right in his life.

Next chapter

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

Cyrus’ Dictionary

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16

Summary: Cyrus has always been good with words; there’s a reason English is his favorite subject. But with TJ, he seems to be at a loss for words. When they get paired up for a summer assignment, Cyrus slowly starts to build a new dictionary. One that involves TJ and everything they do together. Along the way, maybe he’ll find the words to tell him how he feels.

Chapter 16: Basorexia

Word Count: 3304

Read on AO3

Cyrus woke up to his head pounding. He groaned, placing a hand to his head, but all thoughts of pain seemed to melt away upon seeing TJ. He smiled to hard that it felt like his face was going to split. Carefully, as though not to wake him, he placed his hand under his jaw, sending a zip of electricity down his arm. And boy, did he really want to kiss him. He’d never felt such a strong urge before, but he was pretty sure TJ would forever spite him for having their first kiss while he was still asleep. Rolling over, he plucked his journal from the drawer, flipping to the back of the pages.

basorexia: the overwhelming desire to kiss someone

He flipped back onto his stomach, gingerly pushing TJ’s arm. “Psst, TJ,” he whispered, “it’s time to get up,”

TJ groaned in response, putting a hand over his face. “It’s too early,” he mumbled out, his words almost unintelligible.

“It’s never too early,” he whispered, resting his head on the athlete’s shoulder.

TJ smiled, eyes still shut, and reached down to try and find Cyrus’ hand, intertwining it with Cyrus’. “You remember what I do?”

Cyrus tapped his chin, pretending to think it over. “Remember what?”

TJ fluttered his eyes open, tapping Cyrus’ chest lightly. “You little shit,” he chuckled, attacking him with tickles. Cyrus’ laughter was the more beautiful sound he’d ever heard; he could listen to it forever

“And you love me for it,” Cyrus choked out, a few laughs getting caught in his throat.

“Yeah. . .I do,” TJ whispered, smiling that soft smile that was only reserved for Cyrus.

Cyrus started leaning in, his eyes fluttering shut briefly. Here it was; he was finally going to do what he’d been wanting to for such a long time. TJ was so close he could already feel his heart racing.

“What are you doing?”

TJ’s words snapped him out of his thoughts, causing his eyes to open wide, and his face to turn an embarrassing shade of red. “O-oh, uh, kissing? You? Is that not okay?”

TJ smiled, squeezing the other boy’s hand. “I wanna take you on a real date first,”

Cyrus perked up at that; it was the one thing he’d wanted more than anything. “Today?”

TJ nodded. “Today,”

Cyrus put a hand over his chest. “Maybe today can be our always,”

TJ rolled his eyes, ruffling the other boy’s hair. “I cannot believe I love this fool,” he murmured, pushing the covers off. He reached into his bag for his phone, checking it for new messages.

[andi’s girlfriend: help. mom suspects im gay. need help]

TJ felt his heart sink into his stomach, clutching his phone tightly. “Actually, can we postpone? I need to help Amber,” he admitted, turning to Cyrus with a look of upsetness.

“You’re going to go back there? What about your mom?” he asked, putting his hands on the boy’s shoulders.

“She needs me. Stay here, Cy,” he said, starting out the door.

“Wait, Teej!”

He turned back around, and Cyrus came full force at him, wrapping his arms around him. “You’re killing it as a brother,”

By the time TJ had reached the door, he was nearly out of breath, wheezing with each step. He really needed basketball season to pick up again. He could already hear the arguing before he entered the door.

“-you can’t cherry pick the Bible-”

“-do not use that tone with me, I will-”

“-you just don’t listen! Why won’t you let me explain that-”

“-there’s nothing for you to say-”

“What’s going on here?” TJ’s voice boomed above the others, garnering their attention. It was the first time he’d spoken to his mom in a while.

“This doesn’t concern you,” she snapped, crossing her arms and pacing around the kitchen.

“Actually it does,” he cut in cooly, “Amber’s my sister, and your daughter. You should love her, and me, no matter what,”

“But-”

“But nothing,” he hissed, coming up behind Amber and putting his hands on her shoulders, “there are no ‘buts’ when it comes to love,”

And with that, TJ grabbed Amber’s hand and the two of them headed out the door, shutting it with a slam. TJ didn’t have a destination in mind, he was just walking. Arm around Amber, he told her that things were going to be, that they had to be. That their mom was going to come around to it eventually. None of these things did he know were true, but he knew he needed to console Amber.

After walking absentmindedly for a little while, they found themselves at the cemetery. Both of them could pick out their dad’s gravestone without any hesitation, even if it did look just like the other ones. Mumbling something under his breath that sounded like a vague prayer, TJ let Amber through the gates, walking slowly to their dad’s gravestone.

“Hi dad,” TJ started, his voice feeling thick and strained all of a sudden, “I miss you. Things are tough at home,”

“Mom knows we’re gay,” Amber cut in, shutting her eyes, “things aren’t good. And I know you would accept us no matter what. Even when we were little and didn’t know we were gay, you were always so nice to everyone,” she remembered, a soft smile on her face.

“We need help,” TJ murmured, “please, give us a sign. Something that things are going to be okay,” he murmured, his fingers tracing all the crevices of the stone.

“I love you, dad. Miss you,” Amber choked out, pressing a kiss to her fingers, and then pressing them to the stone. Both of them lingered a moment longer, before leaving and starting to walk again. A small ladybug landed on Amber’s shoulder, but neither of them noticed it.

“Wanna go to Cyrus’ house?” he asked, to which Amber agreed. He pulled out his phone, sending Cyrus a quick text.

[Underdog <3: amber is gonna come over with me <3 <3 <3 <3]

Amber peered over his shoulder, noting the heart emojis. “Suddenly you’re all into emojis, huh,”

TJ snickered, slinging an arm around her. “Something like that,”

“But you can all stay here!” Cyrus insisted, taking Amber’s hand in his.

TJ shook his head. “I can’t ask you to do that, Cy. I’ve already overstayed my visit. I don’t think I could say thank you enough,”

Amber gave his hand a squeeze, offering a sympathetic smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.

TJ nudged Cyrus. “So much for postponing our date, huh,”

Amber snapped up, nearly hitting Cyrus as she tore away from the hug. “What?”

Cyrus chuckled, lacing TJ’s hand with his. “Oh did we not tell you? We like each other,”

“Called it! I called it, like, months ago,” she bragged, crossing her arms. Her phone buzzed, and she opened it up.

[jonah: hey do u wanna hang out?]

[Me: sure! your house?]

[jonah: yup]

“I gotta go, but you two lovebirds have fun on your date,” she smiled, giving TJ a knowing look, “tell me everything,” she insisted, walking out with a small wave.

“So about that date?” TJ asked, his eyes hopeful.

“I was thinking a picnic? It’s a really nice day,” Cyrus suggested, nodding towards the window.

“Absolutely,”

“. . .and so them we went over to Cyrus’ house, and then you texted,” she explained, leaning back against the couch. It was a little weird that she was talking to her ex-boyfriend about her girlfriend problems, but it was funny the way things worked out. She felt oddly comfortable around Jonah.

“That sucks, Amber. I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do,” he offered, crossing his legs.

Amber waved him off. “It’s not your fault. How are things with you and Walker?”

Jonah smiled sadly, pulling his knees up. “He’s on vacation right now. I miss him. We’ve been hanging out all summer, like, every single day, and now it just feels. . .empty,”

Amber gave his shoulder a light shove. “You can’t wallow in your sadness. C’mon let’s do something,”

“Like what?”

“Whatever you want. It’s your house, after all,” she pointed out.

Jonah’s lips curled into a tentative smile. “Karaoke?”

Amber’s face lit up, and she repeatedly clapped her hands. “Oh my gosh, yes!”

Jonah beamed, nodding for her to get up. “I have a machine in my basement. C’mon,” he said, leading her down there, “wait hold on,” he said, reaching up to her shoulder, “ladybug,”

Amber smiled, pressing a hand against her heart. Dad.

The two of them belted to their heart's’ content, from one hit wonders of the 90’s, to the ‘trash’ on the radio these days. Their faces hurt from smiling and laughing so much, but they wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything. It was nice to be able to escape from reality for a little while.

“Mini muffin?” Cyrus offered, leaning back against the oak tree. TJ gladly took it, shifting over by him and pressing his back against the tree.

“Did you make these?”

Cyrus scoffed. “No, I got them from the bakery,” he admitted, “but it’s the thought that counts?”

“It is,” TJ agreed, stuffing the whole thing in his mouth, “this is really nice,” he mumbled through chewing.

“Worth the wait?” Cyrus mused, taking his hand.

“Duh,”

Cyrus beamed, grabbing his journal and a pencil, flipping to the next open page and starting to write.

7/1

Today I went on a date with TJ and

“Weren’t you going to show me something in there last night?” TJ cut in, prompting Cyrus to stop writing.

“Oh,” he mumbled, embarrassed, “it’s stupid,” he muttered, shutting the journal.

“Nothing you could ever write is stupid,” TJ assured him, putting a hand over his.

Cyrus knew he wouldn’t be able to look at that smile without caving. “Okay. So, like, during the summer, I’ve been keeping track of, like, very specific words. But they’re like based on us hanging out, if that makes any sense. I’ve been keeping track of them in here,”

TJ smiled wider than he ever had. “Can I see?” he asked softly, and Cyrus pushed the journal into his hands. He flipped to the back, tracing his finger over Cyrus’ neat handwriting.

“Aga-uh, agatho-” he squinted, trying to pronounce the alphabet soup of letter that was the first word.

“Agathokakological,” Cyrus said seamlessly, peering over at the list of words, “it’s like, someone that’s made up of both good and bad,”

TJ shook his head, almost in disbelief. “That’ me to a ‘T’,” he noted, moving on to the next word, “. . .duende. Looks kinda like dude,”

Cyrus laughed, scooting a little closer to TJ. “It’s like the power of art to move a person. When you were talking about sculptures that day, I couldn’t help but notice,” he mumbled.

TJ smiled wider, if that was even possible at this point. “Nyctophilia?”

“A love of darkness and night. Remember when we went stargazing?”

TJ chuckled, taking out his phone and scrolling through his camera roll until he found the selfie he took of him and Cyrus, with the latter boy being asleep. “I think I remember,”

Cyrus shoved TJ lightly, craning his neck a little to better see the picture. “You goof,”

“You missed the shooting star that night,” TJ informed him, shutting his phone off.

“Oh? What’d you wish for?”

TJ snorted. “Take a wild guess,” he said, squeezing his hand. Cyrus ducked his head, miserably failing at hiding his blush.

“Cingulomania. . .is that some disease?” TJ wondered, to which Cyrus laughed, leaning his head on TJ’s shoulder.

“No, it’s, like, the desire to hold someone in your arms,” he explained, thinking back to the day at the laser tag arena.

“Well in that case,” TJ mumbled, snaking an arm around Cyrus’ back and pulling him close. Cyrus breathed in deeply, inhaling the vague scent of cherry chapstick on TJ’s lips.

“Nepenthe,” he continued down the list.

“Something that can make you forget grief or suffering,” Cyrus supplied, grazing his fingers over TJ’s knuckles.

“That night in the basement? The sleepover?” TJ asked, swallowing hard. He didn’t really want to tread here.

Cyrus nodded, letting out a soft sigh. “That was a nice night,”

Not the word I would have used. “Well. . .yeah, yeah, nice,”

Cyrus furrowed his brows, tilting his head up. “Something the matter?”

TJ shook his head, trying to figure out how to word this as lightly as possible. “After you left in the morning. . .my mom was saying things, like, that I shouldn’t hang out with you because. . .”

“Oh,” Cyrus mumbled, his eyes flitting down to their hands, “sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” he assured him, “next word,” he said quickly, scanning down the list. Cyrus nodded, his hair brushing ever so lightly against TJ’s jaw.

“Philophobia,”

“Remember that day we met in the park? And we talked about Andi and Amber? You said something about being. . .afraid, I guess, of getting emotionally attached to people,”

TJ nodded, smirking. “I guess you were the one exception,”

“Aw,” Cyrus cooes, motioning for TJ to go on.

“Mam- hold on, uhm, mamiha-”

“Mamihlapinatapai,” Cyrus says with relative ease, only stumbling once, “I’m assuming you remember the day at the Spoon when we. . .”

“. . .stared off?” TJ finished, to which Cyrus nodded, “yeah, I remember that,”

“Mamihlapinatapai.  It’s like a look exchanged between people, and they both want something to happen, but nothing does,” Cyrus explained, meeting TJ’s eyes. They were so close, dangerously close. TJ quickly turned his gaze back to the journal.

“Thantophobia. Lots of phobias,” he notes, running his finger down the spine of the journal.

“That’s from. . .the day we went shopping for Christmas sweaters. The word, it’s like, like a fear of losing someone that you love,” he said softly, and TJ almost didn’t catch it.

TJ leaned his head on top of Cyrus. “Yeah. I never wanna lose you,”

“And you won’t,” Cyrus assured him, “next word?”

“Wonderwall. . .like the Taylor Swift song?” TJ questioned with a grin.

“You know the Taylor Swift song?”

TJ scoffed. “I’m not uncultured. Is that what it’s from?”

Cyrus shook his head. “No, not from that. It means, like, someone that you can’t stop thinking about, no matter how hard you try,”

TJ carded his fingers through the other boy’s hair. “You really are too cute,”

Cyrus put a hand over his face, the heat radiating. “Next word,” he mumbled.

“Naz,”

“That night at the fair, when we were on the ferris wheel. And I was like ‘I’d love you no matter what’,” Cyrus started, “that’s kind of what it is. Knowing that you are loved no matter what,”

“Platonically?”

Cyrus nearly laughed at that. “At the time? Probably not,” he admitted bashfully.

“Anam cara,”

Cyrus beamed. “Soul friend,” he said, “it was from that night at the tree house,”

“I remember that,” TJ murmured, blinking slowly.

“I think that’s the night that I realized how hard I’d fallen for you,”

And if TJ wasn’t blushing before, he sure was now. “You’re such a sap,”

“I do not appreciate the mockery,” Cyrus defended, tapping the journal, “next,”

“Kalon,”

Cyrus’ face was burning, and these words were not helping. “It’s. . .beauty that’s more than skin deep,”

TJ picked his head up off of Cyrus’, bringing a finger under his chin and hooking it up. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Now that you say it out loud it sounds stupid,” Cyrus whined, reaching for the journal with an eraser, but TJ stopped him.

“No, no! It’s, like, really endearing. I love it,” TJ promised him, taking the eraser and tossing it back in the picnic basket.

Cyrus relaxed, draping an arm across TJ’s chest. “Next word,” he whispered.

TJ squinted at the page. “Some french nonsense that I’m not even going to try and begin to pronounce,”

Cyrus puffed out a breath. “La douleur exquise,” Cyrus supplied, laying the French accent on thick and obnoxious, “that’s like the heartbreaking realization that someone you love is unattainable,”

TJ laughed, throwing his head back so that he tapped the tree behind him. “Clearly that’s a lie,”

Cyrus chuckled; TJ’s laughter was infectious. “I guess so,” he whispered, looking up and immediately getting lost in TJ’s eyes. Shaking himself out of the daze, TJ turned back to the words.

“Quinceanera,”

Cyrus’ face scrunched up, leaning to see the page. “That says querencia,” he pointed out, “it’s. . .well, it’s like a place where you feel most at home. Where you feel like your most authentic self,”

“So, like, wherever you are,” TJ whispered; Cyrus could feel his warm breath on his face, they were so close.

“Next word,” Cyrus murmured, his eyes not once leaving TJ.

“Redemancy,”

“A love returned in full,” Cyrus whispered.

“Hm, I think I have someone in mind,” TJ joked, cracking a smile out of Cyrus. He brings their noses to touch, and TJ has to strain his eyes to see the last one in order to not break contact.

“Basorexia,”

Cyrus smiled softly. “The overwhelming feeling of wanting to kiss someone,”

“Oh, really? Diagnose me with that shit,” TJ laughed, and Cyrus felt like he could melt right then and there.

“Can I. . .you know,”

“Kiss me?” TJ finished, a smug look on his face.

Cyrus nodded sheepishly, unable to maintain eye contact for more than a second. “Yeah. . .that,”

“What’s stopping you?”

Cyrus hesitated, biting at his lips nervously. It’d been a while since he’d been this nervous around TJ, of all people. “I-I don’t know,”

TJ pulled his hands up, holding one of Cyrus’ in both of his. “We don’t have to if you’re not ready,” he promised him. He didn’t want to rush Cyrus into something he wasn’t comfortable with.

Cyrus shook his head, with confidence. “Please, I’ve been ready for this for a while,”

“Me too,”

TJ didn’t move, instead waiting for Cyrus to do something, which he did. He counted all the freckles on his nose before leaning forward and connecting their lips. It was unlike anything he’d felt before; it was like TJ’s lips were air and he couldn’t breathe. TJ felt like all the wind was knocked out of him; his lips were buzzing, and any other sound in the world melted away into nothingness. In retrospect, it was a pretty mediocre kiss, but it was everything in the world to TJ and Cyrus.

“Holy fucking shit,” TJ mumbled after he’d pulled back, taking in a deep breath; it was his first breath after his first kiss.

Cyrus rolled his eyes, punching him lightly. “Way to ruin the moment,”

“You’re blushing,” TJ countered, pinching his cheeks endearingly. Cyrus pouted, shaking his head.

“So are you, Mr. Tomato,” Cyrus joked, sticking his tongue out.

“So what’s today’s word?” TJ asked, tugging Cyrus into his lap and pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

“That was today’s word, dork,”

“Can I add one?” he asked, fishing out the pencil from the basket.

“Sure,”

TJ scrawled down a word at the bottom, trying to make it look as much as Cyrus’ handwriting as he could. When he showed it to Cyrus, the boy put his head in his hands.

logolepsy: an obsession with words

“I am not obsessed with words,” Cyrus pouted, his words muffled.

TJ held the journal up above his head, out of Cyrus’ reach. “I beg to differ,” he countered, chuckling lightly.

“. . .fine. I like words,” Cyrus admitted, “happy?”

“Just like?” TJ shot back, smirking.

“You talk too much,” Cyrus huffed, cupping TJ’s face and pulling him closer, “round two?”

TJ nodded, and this time it was him who closed the gap. This kiss wasn’t electric like the first; it was safe and familiar, like he’d been here a thousand times before. No other thoughts rattled around in his mind; all he was thinking about was how lucky he was, to be able to share this moment with someone he loved so much.

Tag List: @shortstackofpeaches || @seanna313 || @geekingbeautytx || @heavenlybyers || @ginnychrises|| @wlwandimack || @giocondasstuff || @lemonboytyrus || @adorejrizzle || @swingsetboys || @ifellintotyrushell || @idk-dude-17 || @rbf-lesbian || @marianara-sauce || @kaptainjinxz || @alex-poster-pizz || @quietmarvel || @blueberry-my-hero-macadamia || @broadwayitbitch || @tjsmuffin || @tjthekippen || @idpleasesir || @hi-hello-hey-there || @bingewatchingenthusiast|| @booklove-2 || @illbeyourreasonwhy || @birdiesandflowers || @whistlepunk || @phinallyjackie || @thedampjofangirl || @tyrus4eva || @tj-is-a-lemony-boy || @tj-goodman-bittersweet-boy || @dis-app-oin-tme-nt || @nessarinthegay || @breadisticks || @typewriter-riz || @gobletofash || @bluemuffinboy || @sofuuh || @cheesystars || @tjmuffin || @multifandom-bxitch || @allylovessadie || @hithatsmyname || @tyrusinarush || @tyrus-lookback || @gaycefulwords || @theobligatedklutz || @bambikippen ||

[andimackismycrack]

blissful ignorance - a tyrus story

part 1/?

word count: 808

Cyrus walked home alone that night after everything. His moment with TJ cut short by Buffy and Andi looking for Cyrus. TJ slipped out pretty quickly.

They sat in a comfortable silence but just as the boys both gathered up enough courage to say something to one another, they heard Andi and Buffy giggling about something, causing the pair of boys to suddenly stand up.

They grasped each other’s hands for a few seconds more but slowly let go as the voices became increasingly louder. Cyrus still had so much to say to him, since they really didn’t exchange many words on the bench over there.

The girls whisked Cyrus back into the house. The skinny brunette turned his head back to look at TJ a moment longer. Inside, Andi and Cyrus couldn’t stop teasing Buffy about the goofy smile she couldn’t help but display for all to see.

“I saw you walk outside with Marty as I was coming back in,” Andi smirked and shimmied her shoulders slightly. Buffy just giggled.

“If you must know, something happened between me an-”

She was interrupted mid-sentence by Jonah, ‘You and?” he prodded.

The four went outside laughing and smiling, they sat down around the fire and got cozy and sentimental. Bex and Bowie approached and greeted the kids with huge, happy smiles.

This was all going through Cyrus’ mind as he wandered his way home. He approached his front porch glumly, and saw something unexpected. TJ was sitting on his porch steps looking up at the other boy, smiling.

Cyrus let out a chuckle, “So, the saga continues,” TJ smiled, he always loved Cyrus’ witty remarks.

“I’m sorry,” Cyrus apologized, “our conversation got cut short.” He looked up at the blonde boy.

“Cyrus,” TJ said, maintaining eye contact, “Don’t apologize. All that matters is that we can talk now. Right Cy?” He smiled the cutest, most genuine smile, “Of course, Thelonious,”

“Cyrus,” Cyrus loved it when TJ said his name, he lit up, “I like you,” he paused, “I like you a lot,”

“TJ, I like you a lot, too.”

They both smiled, “So what does this mean now?” TJ questioning. “Only reason I’m asking you is because you’re better with words and I tend to get all foggy when I’m nervous and I just ramble on and on until someone stops m-” Cyrus’ lips suddenly interlocked with TJ’s. Even though he was the one to initiate the kiss, Cy was seemingly just as shocked as TJ. Fireworks exploded inside both of their heads.

“Wow, just wow,” TJ smiled, baffled by this awkward boy’s sudden confidence.

“Are we together?” Cyrus asked rhetorically, “I mean I think we’re together now,”

The pair laughed, then looked up, Cyrus’ hand still pressed against TJ’s cheek. TJ lifted his hand to his face and softly stroked Cyrus’.

“I think...” TJ paused, Cy’s face sprouting a look of concern, “That the kiss said it all,” TJ realized that the whole time, he had been holding his breath. He exhaled, with that came a great big goofy smile.

“So, have you told anyone? I mean I’ve come out to Buffy, Andi, and Jonah, but no one else,” Cyrus gazed into the taller boy’s glistening green eyes, lit up by the moon and the streetlights.

“Just my mom, awhile ago, on costume day after the whole Kira debacle. I was pretty upset that I let her get to me and risk our friendship to protect myself from what other people thought of me,”

Cyrus could see tears filling TJ’s oceanus eyes, he placed a hand back on TJ’s cheek, “You’ll be alright,” TJ nodded, “We’ll be alright,” Cyrus corrected himself.

“Alright,” confirmed the other boy, wiping his eyes.

“Goodnight, Cyrus,”

“Goodnight, TJ.”

“Meet me at the Spoon for breakfast tomorrow? We can talk more then.” TJ moved his hand to nudge Cyrus’ shoulder.

“It’s a date,” they both smiled.

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

“It’s a date.” Those words echoed and bounced around in TJ’s mind as he tossed and turned that night, trying to sleep. He was smiling to himself, wondering if Cyrus was too. In fact, he hadn’t stopped smiling since Cyrus left him on his front porch steps.

He walked home dreamily and his parents wouldn’t stop bugging him about the goony look on his face. He brushed it off and headed upstairs to brush his teeth. He plopped down on his bed and decided to pull up Instagram, wanting to check out the pictures everyone would surely be posting about the party. He saw his classmates’ posts, just the usual, videos of people dancing and singing, group photos, selfies, etc. He kept scrolling. He yawned. Just as he closed his eyes, he swiped past a post by none other than Kira Schmitt. Little did he know, this post could quite possibly change things forever.

notes: sorry this took so long! i’m working on an exciting part 2 and i have some other things planned so don’t worry! <3

[thirteen-beaxhes]

A Week (A Tyrus One-Shot)

Summary: last week was rough, but without you it will be rougher

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Words: 1547

~~~~

It had been a week since he last saw TJ.

The music of the ball pounded from the school, but Cyrus was walking away from it. It was too loud, and he just needed to be alone. Especially at that time.

He went across the park, pausing for a minute at the swings, a stab of pain in his chest. That had become his and TJ’s place. Their first real conversation, where they made up after the gun incident, where they went if they just wanted to hang out together without the others. It was too painful to sit there now, even with how bad he was feeling. Cyrus took a turn and sat on the bench behind the swing set.

The lights around had been turned on, illuminating the area in a soft orange glow. Some students were leaving the ball, laughing and still singing. Their happiness just made him even sadder, thinking about everything that happened a week ago.

He and TJ were supposed to hang out at the Spoon for a while before they went to the cinema. Cyrus was nervously adjusting the collar of his shirt and fidgeting with his watch. He had made up his mind. He was going to tell TJ. Not just that he was gay, that would be the easy part.

Cyrus was going to tell him that he liked TJ.

It had taken him being psyched up by both Buffy and Andi for a solid 2 hours over the phone to be prepared for this. He just didn’t think about the worst case scenario. At all. Under no circumstances.

TJ was late by 20 minutes. They weren’t going to make it to the movie if he was later than that. Just as Cyrus was about to call him, he got a text from TJ.

Meet me at the swings please. It’s really important.

Confusion ran through Cyrus’ brain, but he grabbed his coat and ran to the swings. Panting, he saw TJ swinging there. He looked lonely and sad, but still, he managed to take Cyrus’ breath away more than the running had.

“Hey TJ, what happened?” Cyrus asked, walking up to him, causing TJ to stop swinging. He glanced up at Cyrus but immediately dropped his eyes to his feet. That was unusual. He seemed nervous and upset about something.

“Is everything okay?” Cyrus asked, worry evident in his voice as he sat down on the neighbouring swing.

“No,” TJ answered, his voice sounding raw as if he had been crying for a long time. He looked tired, and when he finally looked up at Cyrus, his eyes were full of despair.

“What happened?”

“I’m sorry, Cyrus.”

Those words sent Cyrus’ brain in a whirl, concern thrilling through his mind. Why was TJ sorry?

“For what?”

“I’m moving away.”

Those words hung in the silence that followed. Cyrus was sure people could hear his heart shatter from all the way across town. His eyes were watering, tears threatening to spill.

“W-What? When?”

“I leave the day after tomorrow,” TJ said, his voice shaking, as if he were trying desperately to maintain his composure.

“When did you find out?”

“3 days ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I didn’t know how Cyrus! I have wanted to tell you all these days, but I didn’t how to say it!” TJ replied, each word increasing in volume like a crescendo, but his last word breaking.

They sat in silence, still in shock, their swings swaying lightly.

“That’s not all Cyrus.”

Cyrus looked up, his cheeks wet, tears streaming silently.

“This is the last time I can see you.”

Even TJ began to cry silently, tears falling from his eyes as he looked up at Cyrus.

“I have to help my mom pack all day, and we leave early the next morning. So, I won’t be able to meet you after now.”

As if Cyrus needed salt rubbed in the wound. What was he going to do now? TJ was one of his closest friends, and not to mention the tiny, absolutely massive amount he liked TJ. It was now or never when it came to telling him.

Cyrus chose never.

“Then let’s just spend the time we have like how we normally would. Just talking,” he said, wiping the tears from his eyes, swinging higher than he ever had, trying to make TJ cheer up. That’s how they spent the next 2 hours, just them on the swings, talking, while Cyrus squashed his feelings deep down.

When it was time for them to part, TJ turned and hugged Cyrus, squeezing him tight. Cyrus felt his heart go wild, ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom, but he held on tight, knowing it would be the last time.

“Goodbye, not-so-scary basketball guys.”

“Goodbye, Underdog.”

*

Sitting on the bench alone, the memories stung. Cyrus now regretted not telling TJ the truth. They had already begun to lose touch, TJ having not responded to his texts for 3 days.

He had to try and let him go and move on. It was an obvious decision, but easier said than done. He had gone home that day after seeing TJ and just cried into his pillow, for everything that could have been. And here he was a week later, tears still finding their way out.

He should just go home and start the healing process. Cyrus was just about to get up and go home, when a voice from behind went, “Is that spot taken?”

No. No way.

Cyrus turned around and saw none other than TJ Kippen, smiling at him with his charming and perfect smile.

“TJ? You’re back?” Cyrus asked, shocked into immobility.

“Yes, I’m back Underdog.”

They both smiled smiles brighter than the lights around, but Cyrus had so many questions.

“Wait, how are you back?”

“My mom tried the job but decided to come back to her old one here. It was better for her, plus her two kids were miserable the one week we were there,” TJ replied, sitting down beside Cyrus on the bench, shuffling close to him. TJ’s proximity was sending Cyrus’ heart into a frenzy, but he tried to control it for his own sake.

“Besides, I regretted not doing something before leaving. So now that I’m back, I’m going to do it immediately.”

“What is it you wanted to do?” Cyrus asked, keenly aware of how close TJ was getting. Their legs were practically glued together. It wasn’t even cold, so that couldn’t be his excuse?

“I wanted to tell this person that I really like them,” TJ said, his voice going quiet, as he looked at Cyrus in the eyes. Could it be... No, it was going to be someone else of course.

“This person is really important to me. They were the only one who believed I could do and be better and helped me grow. They have always stuck by me, but haven’t hesitated to tell me I’m wrong. I don’t want to think what my life would be like without them.”

“Who is it?” Cyrus asked, dumbfounded, unable to even consider the wild possibility that-

TJ looked at him with endearing disbelief. “It’s you, Cyrus. It’s always been you.”

Whoa.

Cyrus’ brain was both whirring at a million miles per hour and was also blank as a slate. He just stared at TJ for what seemed like forever without a word.

TJ suddenly looked worried, trying to backtrack. “I know you probably don’t even like boys, and I understand if you don’t really want to be friends anymore, and-”

“TJ,” Cyrus said, grabbing TJ’s wrists, stopping TJ from talking. “I like you too.”

He looked surprised. “You, you do?”

Cyrus gave a small chuckle. “Of course I do! You’ve always helped me try to go out of my comfort zone, you listen to me even when I say the most mundane things, and you make me feel safe when I’m with you.”

TJ’s face lit up in a smile, and he grabbed Cyrus’ hand, linking their pinkies as Cyrus lay his head on TJ’s shoulder.

“So, now what?” TJ asked, turning a bit to look down at Cyrus.

“I don’t know, honestly. I mean, if I asked you to be my boyfriend, what would you say?” Cyrus asked, holding his breath for the answer.

“Wait, you’re seriously asking?” TJ asked, moving away a bit to properly look at him.

“Well, yeah.”

“The answer is obviously yes, Cyrus. I would love to be your boyfriend.”

Cyrus gave TJ the biggest smile, as he lay his head back on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I missed the ball. And the last whole week.”

“No, don’t apologise. You’re here now, that’s all that matters,” Cyrus whispered, holding onto him tighter.

They sat like that for what seemed like both seconds and years, when they heard a slow dance song play from the school.

TJ smiled and stood up, holding his hand out to Cyrus. “May I have this dance, Cyrus Goodman?”

Cyrus smiled back saying, “You absolutely may, TJ Kippen.”

As the ball progressed in the school, TJ and Cyrus danced in the soft glow of the street lights in the park, beside the swings and the bench.

And everything was perfect.

[tyrustrash]

Chapter 3 of Sibling Rivalry

RJ sat in his room playing his PS4. He has his own special gaming chair that was blue with gold accents. His headset and controller matched with the chair. His PS4 was the limited edition Spider-Man cover and it was in a protective case. RJ's even wearing his favorite dinosaur onesie because he's playing the new Jurassic Kingdom game. The super elite deluxe edition to be exact. People thought it was weird for him to coordinate outfits for whichever game he would play, but he loved to fully emerge himself. Right now, he thinks he's the mighty T-Rex. He, like always, is over exaggerating every moment. Even when it's simply moving to the side to avoid a fallen branch, he would swerve with his character and shout at the scream. Whenever an enemy appeared, RJ hyped up and started roasting them. The boss levels were really exciting as he drunk his Monster Energy Drink and went sicko mood with his roasts. When one of the villains took some health from him, even if it's only 1 HP, RJ would rage out and jump out of his chair and scream at the screen. His over the top emotions when playing games is the reason TJ doesn't play in the same room. TJ is laying on his bed, texting Cyrus. He monitored what he says carefully because he wants everything to be perfect for his even more perfect boyfriend. Their six month anniversary is coming up and TJ is trying to get Cyrus to say what he wants as a gift without explicitly asking. He's been planning an amazing date, but it can always be better. "DAMNIT!" The shout could be heard throughout the entire house. Luckily their parents were out getting groceries or else RJ would've gotten soap in his mouth. Although he was 18, he's still living under their roof. TJ hopped off his bed and made his way to his brother's room. He knocked on the door. The brothers have this rule where they don't barge in on the other due to what happened when TJ accidentally walked in on RJ. The door opened and a frustrated RJ stood in front of TJ. "What do you want? I'm busy." "Can you quite it a little bit? I'm trying to text." "Since when do you need silence to text?" "Please. I'm trying to think of what to say to Cyrus." "Leave. Go somewhere more quite if you can't handle me." TJ stomped his foot. He knew his brother is like this whenever he's in gamer mode, but it's always annoying. "Why don't you care about me?" RJ huffed and rolls his eyes. "I do care about you, baby bro. I'm in a really important match right now." With that, RJ slammed the door shut. TJ stood in the hallway, on the brink of tears. He stomps to his room and slams his door even harder. Once in his chair, RJ puts his headset back on. He resumes his game. "I'm back. My brother was just annoying me about some stupid shit about his boyfriend or something." TJ could still hear his brother through their thin walls. His mouth was open in shock and his hand gripped his phone. He tried to believe that his brother really did care about him, but these days seem to be changing. RJ has been spending more time on his games and less time with him. The day passes by and TJ finds himself in the kitchen, eating a whole bucket of strawberry ice cream. His phone keeps binging from the messages Cyrus sent. RJ enters the kitchen and opens the fridge. He grabs one of their dad's beers from the back and starts drinking. He walks to the back door and takes off his shirt. "I'm going to work on my tan. Come get me on forty-five minutes." TJ waves his hand and RJ walks out. TJ's eyes widened and ran off upstairs. TJ reaches RJ's room and went inside. He marvels at all the games he has. He's jealous that their parents only agreed to buy one console and placed it on RJ's room because he's older. Why they didn't put it in the living room was simply because their parents didn't want all that noise. He searched through all the games, which was more than 200. He found his favorite game: Dino Rumble Super Charge (Rainbow Edition). He ejected RJ's disc and put in his. He spent over an hour and a half playing since he got so caught up in the fun. When he finally checked the time, he quickly replaced the games to make it seem like nothing happened. He went full Road Runner mode as he ran downstairs and exited through the back door. He saw RJ laying in his stomach in the reclining lounge chair. TJ shakes him awake. When RJ gets himself together, he checks the time one his phone. Without missing a beat, his face turned red. "You had one job! Now my skin won't look great for my girl." "I'm so sorry! I forgot about the time." "What were you even doing?" "Jus-Jus-" RJ sighed as he walked towards the door. "Probably texting your little boyfriend." TJ followed him. "What's your problem with him?" "You seem to care more about him than me!" TJ's now in shock. He waited a second to process what he just heard. "Are you the pot or the kettle? You're the one who doesn't seem to care. You care too much about your games. I've tried to spend time with you and play some two player games but you always push me away! That's when I started spending more time with Cyrus." RJ stopped. He turned to his little brother. "At least I'm normal." With that, RJ made his way inside the house. TJ stood on the lawn, tears coming down his face. He kicked the chair and knocked the potted flowers off of the windowsill. He stormed inside and almost broke the door from how hard he slammed it. As soon as TJ entered the kitchen, all he could hear is screaming. The screaming increased, letting him know RJ is approaching. RJ reaches the kitchen, his face redder than humanly possible. "You little prick! What have you done!" TJ shook his head. "What're you talking about?" "When I went to play my game, the mission I was working on was gone! I've spent hours on that and now I have to start all over! I know you did something because your game wasn't in its usual spot!" "I'm so sorry, I don't now I did that! I just wanted to play one of my games since you've been hogging the PS4 lately. I'll do anything, please don't hate me." RJ noticed TJ's phone on the table. He picked it up, which made TJ freeze. "You're not going to have to do anything." "RJ, what're you doing?" RJ ran up the stairs, TJ following him. RJ made it to his room and locked the door. TJ ran into it and repeatedly banged on it. "RJ! Give me my phone!" "Not until I'm done!" RJ opened the messages app and went to Cyrus's section. He read through all the previous texts and chuckled. He started typing. Had so much fun last night. I didn't know your body could do all that. Oops, sorry. That was meant for Kira. RJ opens his door and TJ fell inside. He threw the phone down. TJ noticed what he had done and started crying harder than ever. "How could you! Do you not realize what you've done!" "I could ask the same thing!" "You can always get back to that point in the game! This might cause my relationship to end and have Cyrus hate me forever!" A bing rang through the room. TJ looked down and saw a new message from Cyrus. OMG!!!!! What the actually freak!! I knew I shouldn't have trusted her. Just like I shouldn't have trusted you! We're through!! I never want to see your cheating face again!! TJ cried as he tossed his phone to the side and started punching RJ's chest. RJ grabbed his fists to stop the blows, but he felt no difference because he was too buff to feel any of the hits. Overcome with emotion, TJ kicked RJ in the groin. The move causes RJ to release his grip and fall to his knees. This allowed TJ to make some more punches, this time at RJ's head. RJ covered his head. "Bro, chill out!" "Don't call me bro! You're no longer my brother! A brother wouldn't mess with the others relationship and wouldn't say that they weren't normal." The sounds they were making were so loud that they didn't hear their dad enter the room. He pulled TJ away and pinned him to the wall. "What's going on!" TJ squirmed around and tried getting out. "Him! He made Cyrus break up with me!" "Only because he deleted part of my game!" Their father grunted. "You two hug and apologize." "You think that's going to work?" TJ huffed. "Try again." Their dad let him go and walked out. "I tried." TJ stuck his chest out as he got in RJ's face. He tugged his shirt to pull him closer. "I never want you to speak to me ever again. You're dead to me." TJ shoved RJ and left. RJ stood up and went to the gaming case. He picked up the controller and threw it across the room. He found his phone and dialed a number. An hour had passed and TJ sat in the middle of his bed, crying his eyes out. He went through six boxes of tissues. He started to hiccup and shoved a pillow over his face. A knock from his door caught him off guard. "Go away, RJ!" The door slowly started to open, which alarmed TJ. He squared up with his pillow in one hand. As the door opened some more, the pillow started going down. Soon, TJ could see the full body of who was entering. He wiped away his tears as Cyrus entered his room. "What are you doing here?" TJ asked as he got off the bed. He tries to hug Cyrus, but stops himself. "I'm glad you are, but I thought you never wanted to talk or see me again." "That was what I wanted, but things change." "What happened?" "RJ happened." TJ growled and kicked his desk. "Don't mention him." Cyrus places a hand in his shoulder. "No need to be angry. RJ called me and explained the situation. He said things to me that he wanted to say to you, but he says you hate him." "I do! He texted you that and said I wasn't normal." "He wants to apologize, but he thinks he can't." “Good. He shouldn’t have said and did what he did.” “Just hear him out. For me?” TJ started into his eyes. He lifted his Cyrus’s chin and kissed his cheek. “For you, ill do anything.” TJ walked out of the room and went to RJ’s door. It’s closed. He raised his hand to knock, but instead grabbed the handle. He turned it and opened the door. He stepped inside, gently closing the door.