honeyedache

[honeyedache]

@hiddenazur 🥹🥹🥹

[honeyedache]

special delivery for @whispercd (frederic)

The nausea split like none other, and Juliet knew she had to leave soon. She knew that word had spread around the Thorpe manor that she had chosen to leave with her beloved Oliver, and it broke her heart entirely to leave her family behind - to leave Hunter, George, sweet little Emily, her beloved maids, - it broke her, but what hurt most of all was leaving her beloved Freddie behind. He was her everything, her little brother who she loved so passionately, so protective of - and it killed her to go. She knew she must stand on her own two feet though - she was to be a mother, she was to be a wife, and yet she trembled now as she savored her bed for the last time perhaps, feeling the wretching of her own body as she vomited into the chamber pot by her bed. It was almost morning and she would leave then - quietly, into the soft morning glow, to her love, to her Oliver. She could not wait to see him, but Juliet felt an aching blow to leave behind her most beloved Freddie, and she heard the soft door open and knew his footsteps by heart.

Tears spilled down her pale cheeks as she cleared away her mouth with the cloth, without turning around. "I am fine, I am just fine, love." She had reassured him, her voice breaking - unconvincing, but she had to protect him, her sweet baby brother. So utterly perfect. "It will all be okay, Freddie. I swear it - it is just the nausea of - of the morning and I swear to you, I will be fine. Oliver is meeting me in the gardens and - and we will be just fine." She could not admit her own frightened thoughts, her own fear - never to him.

Finally looking over at him, she forced a small, tired smile. "Is - Is Mama all right?"

[honeyedache]

Glad you have that. It had been, by and far, the kindest thing that Tobias had ever spoken to her and she was utterly shocked. Juliet looked upon him with such solemn serious eyes, listening to every word he spoke with such intensity. There was no telling what either of them would say to one another. "You know she is cruel to me and yet you took to the opportunity, while at the Sinclairs, to bring me even further into her cruelty. She has not spoken a word to me, Tobias, since being home and has only spoken through Frederic to me - tales of her disgust, anger and disappointment, I am sure. I know what I've done was ghastly, but you fed the beast with what you told her, about my stealing and disgrace. I am a pregnant, unwed, whoring thief of a daughter in her eyes - most of that is my own fault, I do admit - but do you not understand she would have me thrown into the smallest jail cell if she could - and then lament to others at how horrific her own life is for having to bear the shame of such a daughter? You will hear it now, when I am gone, I am sure. Mothers are supposed to love their daughter, prepare them for birth during this happy time and give them undivided attention, love and support - even if the birth is not perfect." Juliet felt tears weil up in her eyes, looking away. "I am frightened to become a mother, because I scarcely know how a mother is to be. I have never known a mother's love, just as you've never known a father's. Don't you understand how frightening this all is now to me? I am supposed to be comforted by my mother - mothers are supposed to comfort and hold their children when they're frightened, not be the cause of such frightened feelings. Even as a little girl - she scorned me and now - now I've never been more frightened and nothing has changed. She still despises me." Juliet felt tears trickle down her face as she sniffled, looking away.

As Tobias shared such intimacy, as she had shared her own, the more guilt she had felt for destroying his friend's, his partner's, possession. "That is quite awful, brother - to be ripped away from a friendship, from a partnership you loved, you trusted in. If I were taken from Oliver, forced away - I could barely breathe. It would not - I would not survive as you have. Lord Thorpe would not allow him to come back with you? Did - Did you tell your father what you felt for this man, Tobias?" Juliet asked, looking upon him with saddened, solemn eyes.

It had all clicked in Juliet's mind though, as she suddenly reached out for her brother's hands and saw the aching shackle marks upon his wrist - the marks. Eyes widened, she looked up at him in shock. "Tobias - he - he had you chained to the ship so you would not run away, so that you would come back?" Her eyes widened in horror. They had known such cruelty from their parents - no wonder they knew how to yield such cruelty to each other so well.

Shaking her head, scoffing slightly, Juliet looked away and then back at him. "You fool. I ask you to address the man I love by his name because he is the man I love. Would you like me to forever refer to your love as the sailor, even if he materialized? He has a bloody name, that is why, and it is disrespectful to constantly call on him as the help. He will be my husband no doubt and you are my brother, whether you quite like it or not. I want you to respect him, you pompous fool." She told him, rolling her eyes. "And he is more than a butler - he is a man worthy of respect. By calling him the butler, you keep him down as his station only, and he is more than that."

She sighed, listening to his words about his father, what he felt, and she felt a shiver go down her spine. Lord Thorpe had been ever so kind to her and she had regretted how he had found out - how he had been disrespected and disgraced - and she hated that she had been too frightened to tell him and her mother. Juliet was ever so formidable in her own way, but still wanting so much acceptance from parental figures. She envied Tobias for not caring what his father thought - she cared ever so much still what her mother thought.

"How could you sit there and say you don't yield such power? If you so wanted to, you could yield every power, Tobias. You are going to be the next heir of the house of Thorpe, and I know you quite detest that, but it will happen. You yield the authority on all of our futures and yet you dare tell me you do not hold power? You're a spoiled brat, just as I am - and a fool if you think that you are powerless. A woman is powerless in her own home, a servant is - but not you. Your father might dote upon me, might dote upon my brother and cousins - but you are his heir and his son, and one day you will be the head of the family. Do you truly not understand that, you bloody git?" Juliet cursed, letting out a small laugh.

Juliet was struck with a sudden sadness for Tobias, if he truly felt that - powerless in his own home and she put her hand on his arm for a moment. "You are not powerless. I would think you would be wanting to be Lord, so you can perhaps bring your love here and damn your father in front of everyone. You and I differ on many things, brother - but we do quite like causing a stir and making a show." She had to softly break into a small smile and chuckle.

With a deep, long, and almost dramatic sigh he turns to face her but does not match the formidable look in her eye. The events of everything had weighed on him and he was so tired by it. Everything she said about her struggles he had long saw in his youth, how women were a tool for a business arrangement, made to be the perfect way of increasing a families standing in the world by overbearing and ambitious mothers wanting to advance their station by doing it through their daughters. As controlled as he found his life at the hands of others, he knew as a woman Juliet had more pressure and tighter restraints than he could ever. From what she said, he could see she loved the butler, that was clear from their first interaction, and he could tell from her passionate recollections of her upbringing that acceptance was something she craved and received with him. “Your mother is cruel to you I don’t deny that and if your man is kind to you then I’m glad you have that.” It was the nicest thing he had said to her, he thought. “I know of similarities to such a thing. You lost your father; I lost my mother. From what I understand, both of us were unable to say a goodbye and it left us with the parent we didn’t want.” At the same time, he didn’t want his father dead in place of anyone. They did no see eye to eye and held an equal disdain for each other, one he felt so deep. No, he didn’t want his father dead because that would mean he would have no choice but to replace the man and be the Lord. His father wanted it, he didn’t. “You speak as if I don’t share the same experience yet I was forced back here by him to a home I don’t recognise, a place no longer my home and with a parent whose love I don’t have and do not want.” More and more similarities laid bare between them and even in his passionate rambling that matched hers, he found some of his anger quelling to a simmer at her. It was still there but not as intense. “What I had with him was more than a few months,” he says quicker than he could stop. “A year of close friendship after I saved his life that turned into something more and for years, we were together. Not whoring around like you see now, not hiding away for fear of society but together so I understand what it is like to have someone have an effect on you like that.” If she didn’t want the life of a lady to be married off, it matched his own lack of want for status.

“I know how much you love him; you’ve lamented that to me on every occasion we have been together and with every argument we have battled with each other. I don’t hold him in any disregard, and I believe I’ve said that to you. Jane has also spoke well of him so don’t worry, I’ve heard your pleas and hers most relentlessly. Telling my father to dismiss him was not because I was against him, it was because I was against you. Why this insistence on me calling his name? What I choose to call him or not should not register a concern from you.” His stubbornness getting in the way again. “Yes, I had a love like that but neither of us wicked in our natures to need the reassurance of staying as we are and not changing. As yours does, so did mine in accepting everything.”

Her dedication to her love was admirable. “You know I wouldn’t take it back when the very reason I want to leave is because of it. My father…he is a prideful man and I think because you kept it from him is what wounds him the most. He may not say it but that is what I think. He’s a man full of pride and worked at keeping his family in good standing but he adores you, probably still does despite all of it.” He scoffs at her instance of no support from his father. “I’m not saying he will give you money, but I don’t believe he will want you to suffer.”

Instead of some insulting variation on the title of brother, it was odd to hear his name out of her mouth that wasn’t some kind of insult. “You speak as if I have any power in this house when we can both see it is clear I do not. I can’t offer any protection, but I won’t want them hurt by his actions. I don’t think he will. He loves your mother and your siblings, even your cousins. They are more protected than even I am.”

[honeyedache]

Madeleine let out a most poshed, playful gasp and laughed. "Gazelles? How dare you? I am the ever most graceful one. If anyone is stomping it is our beloved Jasper. His big feet and all and long, long legs like some kind of animal. I quite love him, you know how much I do - but his tallness is rather freakish." Madeleine giggled, softly, as to not to wake anyone else. "Oh, I know I am your favorite. How could I not be? I am everyone's bloody favorite. I keep my brothers quite in line with love and care - and I help you lot sneak around our mother. And I'm lovely, am I not?" Madeleine giggled, shaking her head at him.

Madeleine sighed, reaching for her eldest brother's hand and squeezing it. "I so wish for you to meet a man or woman that compliments you and brings out that playfulness I would see growing up, when we would play in the gardens and you would toss me in the air when we played. They are around the corner, and the Queen will bring them to you, sweet Atti. Could anything be better?" Madeleine was ever such a optimist, she could not help it.

"Ugh, not a single Thorpe will be arranged for me, I forbid it. Surely the queen would never! I would refuse, most respectfully but ardently. I would refuse!" Madeleine exclaimed, shaking her head. Tilting her head to the side in admiration for her eldest brother, she sighed, squeezing his hand. "You do not need to always do what it is expected of you, dear Atti. I would rather you fall in love with who you truly love, than anything else. It matters not who or why - I just want you to be most happy and you will be. I will make certain of it."

"You hear purposeful squeaks so that I might not frighten anyone in the house. It is not my fault that all of the lot of you stomp around like a herd of gazelles," Atticus teased. Even if they were not children anymore, he could not help himself around his sister. His job was to protect her and guide her and so many other brotherly duties, but it was also to make her smile. "You are assuming quite a bit about our relationship here, dear sister. Who is to say who is my favorite and my least? That seems like such a dark thought for one like me with many siblings." Dark eyes blending in with the long shadows of the night, finding home in them as he so often did at this hour. The only change was the company.

"It is not negativity, Maddie. It is realism. At the end of this, it matters not if she is my soulmate or not. It is not as though I will separate from her." Not if it is up to him at least. Of course if she is not feeling up to it with him, he would agree immediately. He was just much too old and a little too heartbroken to dream of a life with his 'soulmate.' "I think you protest too much, sister. So much about the Thorpes. Do not go changing your mind suddenly after you say so much about them." A nod. "I will and I will do as is expected of me fully."

[honeyedache]

Juliet was ever so grateful for all of the friends that she had to stand by her and Oliver - they would sorely need it, she was sure of it. They both suffered the mark of ridicule, the mark of humiliation, but Juliet did not wish to hear what anyone had to say, especially about her beloved Oliver. She had proven, time and time again, that she would claw the very eyes out of one's head for her love, and Oliver knew that as well, she was sure, as she had told him as much and she smiled now, thinking of his sweet smile, praying it would be replicated on their sweet baby. Still though, the judgment and whispered looks, the giggles wherever Juliet went, it had gotten to her, and she looked around at the park, letting out a sigh.

"You are too kind to me, Mister Locke, to - to be ever so generous and loyal. I have not known that too well. I - I am very grateful for it, more than you know." Juliet confided in him, tightly holding onto his arm as she weathered the looks of disgust upon her, the stares. What ever is the unwed Thorpe whore doing with Mister Kit Locke? Trying to secure herself a new love for her bastard child? She had heard the whispers and turned away, letting out a slow breath.

"I must admit, being shut inside the manor for so long has paled me. My mother quite would like me still there - hiding, not to be out and showing my face, but I can only take so much time alone inside. It is ever so beautiful out, as you said, and what my mother does not know will not harm her. She quite adores you, anyhow." Juliet softly chuckled, as she felt ever most protected in his presence.

Hearing his kind words, she felt a lump in the back of her throat. "You are, again, ever so kind to me, sweet Kit. What have I done to deserve to you?" Her smile was faintly watery as she let out a sigh. "You are ever so in the minority for thinking such, but you are so kind to offer your congratulations. Many - Many have offered their condolences, if you can believe it - if they've offered anything besides disgust and scorn. I am quite excited though - and most frightened, I will say. It is usually a time for a woman to spend with her mother, learning what her mother has done to raise children, to celebrate, all of that. My mother will not even look upon me, will not speak to me." A cold shiver went down her spine, as she tried very hard to hard her sadness with a smile.

"Oh, Mister Locke, the father is ever so wonderful, kind and I am every bit in love with him. He and I - well, he will make the most amazing, committed father. He has been - exiled from work, from - from all noble society, but I will go with him. Nothing could hold me back from being with him, nothing at all." Juliet declared, a warm, most beaming smile of love coming over her now. "He has pledged to stay with me, by my side, through it all - you must meet him one day, Mister Locke, you will adore him, as everyone does. I am most in love."

Juliet paused, shaking her head and clearing a tear away. "Enough about me, though. I must hear who you are surely matched with, with this Queen Anne matchmaking! Tell me at once!"

Upon seeing Juliet’s kind face, and feeling the scornful eyes of others on her, he knew he’d do everything he could to protect her from the Ton. He didn’t see her as sullied, or ruined — he saw her as brave, bold, and in love. Who could fight against true love? Who could judge true love? Kit assumed only those who were in unhappy marriages and courtships — and their hatred was a reflection of themselves, not of Juliet. While he didn’t know who the father was, Kit didn’t care — she was glowing, she had a look in her eyes that spoke that she was ever so in love.

As their arms linked, Kit smiled at Juliet, “Let them talk. Let them whisper. I do not mind if they choose to exile me.” He gave her a chuckle, “Frankly, I wish some of them would exile me.” He glanced at the sunny sky above them, the warm breeze washing over the leaves of the trees and grinned. Everyone deserved to witness such beauty. “And, I couldn’t allow you to miss out on experiencing such a lovely day.”

It was a shame, he thought, that Juliet hadn’t been showered with celebrations and the thought made his smile falter a bit. “You deserve all of the congratulations, Miss Thorpe,” he replied in earnest. “Your child is already ever so lucky to have you,” he told her, his eyes sparkling. His mother had been much like Juliet — kind, protective, fierce — he knew what a blessing it was to be raised like a woman like that. “I do hope the father is standing by your side through all of this,” he spoke a grin tugging on his lips, “Or I’ll have to speak with him.” Kit cleared his throat when he heard her question. There had been ups as of late, but there had also been downs. “Let’s just say I’m happy to be here, enjoying the fresh air with a dear friend,” he replied, his eyes looking kindly upon Juliet.

[honeyedache]

The hug that Madeleine had engulfed her dear friend in was one of warmth and support, of love and understanding. No matter what happened between her brother and Beatrice, Madeleine would always view her as a dear, loyal and most gracious friend, a friend that Madeleine cared deeply for, no matter what. "My love Beatrice! I am ever so thrilled to see you! Come, come, you must sit for a spot of tea and come regal me with who you've been partnered with! Surely not my brother, hmm? I know he has been paired with two women, can you imagine?" Madeleine exclaimed, taking her hand and giggling. "I will run them away if you wish, dear love. You say the word." She smiled at her and winked.

"You do not? Oh, my love. I am ever so sorry that you feel such a way. Who have you been paired with, darling? I have been paired with Sir Thayer Claremont and I am ever so excited. You should have seen me - I cannot believe I've been called upon like this." Madeleine excitedly spoke. "I am sure your match will be every bit thanking their most lucky stars to have you, my love."

Beatrices day was hardly better than when she got the chance to spend some time with Madeleine. She had worried that her relationship with her might have suffered once word got around about she and Callum but Beatrice was relieved to know that it absolutely had not. She wasn't sure what she would have done if her friend was unhappy with her. Whatever happened between she and Callum, she was glad to have her friends support.

"Madeleine!" Beatrice cried, a wide smile on her face as she reached for her friend. She felt like a girl again whenever she was around Madeleine, with the giddiness that came with girlhood. "Oh my dear, I am so happy to be here with you. I will give you all the company as long as you wish for me to be here." She quickly moved to sit down beside the other woman, a wide smile on her face.

"I wish I could share your excitement, Madeleine." Beatrice chuckled. It would be a whole lot easier if she could. "Unfortunately, I do not. I don't think this will go the way that I hope that it would." That she would be paired with her brother. "Do you have your eye on anyone, Maddie? Anyone you hope to be paired with?"

[honeyedache]

Madeleine's cheeks could not help but flush at the sight of William Erwood - how could they not? His tousled brunette curls, his muscular build, his very smile had sent flutters and it had since he had begun working at the Sinclair household. Jasper would often torment her with it, as Madeleine could be found gazing out the window at the stables instead of doing her schoolwork, and he would pry and press her about it only for her to burst out into giggles and such blushing, much to the disapproval of her governesses. Miss Madeleine, I would thank you to keep your blushing and giggles to yourself, dear girl and focus. How could Madeleine focus when such a man was employed at her home?

"I do not take it back, Mister William, for I solely believe you are a git for scaring me so and Maple! How treacherous of you!" Madeleine giggled, giving him a most warm smile, her cheeks still flushed. "Well, if you must know, I am sneaking away because I am scarcely a child anymore. I am a full grown woman of age and sophistication and I demand to be treated as such. A ride into the shops will hardly sully me, I am not Miss Juliet Thorpe." Madeleine smirked, shaking her head. "Unless of course a most lovely suitor and friend would like to accompany me, then I suppose that would be fine."

Madeleine felt her heart drop even more when he sauntered over, patting Maple and she watched, beaming up at him. "You are? How lovely indeed! You would bestow such kindness upon me? I believe she is simply a genius, I quite adore her designs! I had no idea you two were friends - how wonderful!" Madeleine exclaimed, lowering her voice to make sure she did not wake her mother of all people.

She couldn't help but giggle endlessly at his taunting, turning more and more pink as she shook her head. "You do like to tease me so, do you not, Mister William? You are like every of my brothers, very much so, but I will have you know that Miss Heywood's designs are quite intricate and this is very important! I am to be matched and I am matched with Sir Thayer Claremont of all people, can you imagine? The Queen Mother bestowed that honor upon me and if I show up to his courting looking unkempt - I will scarcely disappear into the ground and you will never hear from me again." She smirked.

Turning a bit more serious, Madeleine nodded, letting out a sigh. "She does indeed, that is for certain and how dare she take such joy out of hurting us so. I rather say it is most desperate and unbecoming, but nevertheless, the Sinclairs are strong and worthy. We will no doubt recover. What of you though, Mister William? Tell me. Who have you been paired with, if paired at all? Surely the Queen has wracked her spotless brain and there are many acquiring minds for you. You do know that every one of the maids here adores you?"

Scaring Miss Madeline Sinclair wasn’t on William’s morning task list, but that didn’t mean he didn’t take some enjoyment from it. Still leaning against the stable door, he was grinning like a cat who had caught the canary. “Git, how you wound me so!” William said, overexaggerating any sort of offence at her words. He gave Maple a reassuring pat before walking closer to Madeline, a cocky grin as he sauntered over, conscious about those waking up soon. He was only making a frivolous joke about the dresses, but still he had no idea that he was right on the money when it came to such a guess. “Heaven forbid a maid or butler escort you; imagine the shame!” Once again, William was relentless with the teasing, somewhat enjoying this exchange. Of course, no matter her age, until she married, chaperones were a must, but even the best ones could be bribed, be it with sweets or money. It was all the same.

“You do know that Miss Heywood and I are friends; I could have asked for a favour?” William tilted his head, smiling. “But of course, sneaking out at daybreak is the more reasonable option.” Granted, he hadn’t seen Alice since the Sinclair ball, but still, he couldn’t imagine that a simple favour would have been rejected. For a moment, William pretended to consider Madeline’s plight, though he could hardly keep the grin from his face. “Though the tragedy of not being the first to see her creations, it’s a tragedy that even Shakespeare couldn’t write.” 

The work of any servant was never finished, no matter how early in the day they woke up; too many tasks and too few hours throughout the day, but William wasn’t going to explain that to the Sinclair daughter. “Between this and my work at the race track, I need to begin as soon as the sun rises.” And it helped to keep busy; plus, the extra money was a big help. Her question caught William off guard, and he tried his best to hide it, trying for his usual grin, but it came out a little crooked. “Well enough, but I’m sure your brothers are in need of the concern, not I.” William was still coming to terms with what he considered a betrayal by one of Madeline’s brothers, but that wasn’t a conversion for now, if ever. “I’m glad your name has been absent; it seems Whistledown has a hunger for your family and their secrets.” He offered her a softer smile, trying to divert the topic from him to one Madeline would have more concern for.

[honeyedache]

Madeleine nearly squealed when she saw Lady Marjorie, a most lovely friend that was dearly beloved to sweet Madeleine's heart. Poor Jasper had heard their squealing many of times, jumping up and down in excitement throughout their childhood - but Madeleine never could apologize for it. She loved her darling friend and Marjorie was quite the picture of perfection and Madeleine looked up to her in every way possible.

"My darling girl! I am just so thrilled to hear upon the news that you must share with me!" She took her hands, her maids smiling and laughing in fondness of the two girls who quite cared well for one another, a rarity to not be in competition in the Ton, but Madeline had never been the competitive type. "First of all though, my dear, you could do sorely better than a Thorpe. Is he not pompous and insufferable?" She rolled her eyes, dramatically. "They all are, I find. You deserve surely a prince of profound noble nature, my sweet friend." Madeleine insisted, but listened, graciously.

"Both Thorpe men? Goodness, Lady Marjorie! I quite enjoy your politeness to them, but I would rather see you perhaps with one of my dear brothers or someone in better nature. Oh, you received your letter as well?" With her friend' hands still in hers, Madeleine squealed, softly, her maids laughing yet again.

"I've received one as well, I am ever so excited! I cannot wait to be matched, I have so honored to be so matched with a soulmate no doubt. Do you think the Queen would ever make mistakes? Surely not!"

Marjorie was very fond of her best friends Aylin and Madeleine. She treated her friends like family and her other best friend Madeleine Sinclair was like a sister to her, they had practically grown up alongside each other.

"Miss Madeleine, my heart!" She greeted as she went over to her and hugged her.

"Oh yes, we've got a lot to catch up on." Marjorie said before giving her a shy smile.

She took a seat and poured herself some tea.

"Oh there will be no hurting, my dear. Well, to start... Mister Tobias Thorpe, he is kind. He called upon me but only to help me get more suitors. He doesn't wish to be married and after Lady Whistledown's issue, him and I spoke... we shall remain friends. It is quite amicable between us. As for his cousin, Mister Hunter Thorpe... we merely had good conversations and we danced at the ball. That was really all there was to it. He is also kind and quite whimsical, he told me he could marry this season but he wishes to not rush anything. Though I had to pry that fact out of him after Lady Whistledown's issue, for he simply wouldn't make his intentions clear to me. I was quite frustrated and confused with both Thorpes so I simply told Mister Hunter that we shall also remain friends. Besides, I want to see what happens with Her Majesty's matchmaking, I received a letter and I hope my match will be promising." Marjorie explained before sipping her tea.

"Tell me, did you receive a letter from Her Majesty as well? Oh what if we both end up being married women before the season ends?" Marjorie asked excitedly.

[honeyedache]

Juliet tried ever so desperately to be as strong as she had always been - for she had no choice as the eldest daughter of the Thorpe family and she took the protection of her family with ever most care. She did not want any of them to suffer the consequences of what she had deemed for her life - it had been her life and she knew that, would not ever regret any of it - but she would also not allow her dear cousins to suffer for her own choices. "Hunter Thorpe is most lovely and kind, as is George Thorpe. I quite thank God for them everyday - they are ever so kind. My stepbrother - well, he is another wrath altogether, but I am not afraid of him, nor anyone. I only am afraid for what will be done to you both if you - if you and Bea try and defend me." Juliet felt her lip slightly tremble as she looked away, willing herself to be most strong, to be most stoic, and she tried.

"I know you wish to protect me, I know you do, Ali," Juliet took his hand, tightly squeezing it. "Our Beatrice is young and sweet and pure and good, though - I daresay my mother has always wanted her as a daughter rather than me, and so I will refuse to allow her to suffer because of me, or you as well. I do not regret one moment of my choices to be with my Oliver and to be pregnant with my beloved child now - but I am damned, Alistair. I am sullied and ruined - at least as far as the Ton will go. I will not have you linked to the unwed whore of the Ton. You both deserve a most impeccable, wonderful match, you and Beatrice - allow me to fall to the flames for you. I insist." Juliet had tears in her voice, as she nodded, doe eyes sure.

With each new name or title listed, Alistair cannot help but feel his heart break. Juliet did not deserve all of this. Their society felt like a smaller cage with each passing day. At least there had been the illusion of flight in the early times. Now it seemed like it was too cramped to even allow the spreading of one's wings. It was shaping them all to be what they needed to be. Were they all meant to suffer at the hands of their own world? "I am glad you have at least some of them on your side. I do not exactly approve of the thief, but I can give him a break if he is being kind to you. You deserve all of them on your side though. It is not fair," His tone breaking. He would not cry in front of her. He needed to be strong for her.

"I would never promise to abandon you like that!" Alistair said with a sudden, quiet desperation. He wished his tone could fit into determination, but Alistair Bennett was not that type of man. The words oozed with sadness he just barely held back. "I can protect you all. This isn't some...some choice I need to make. You cannot ask me to do that and I will never agree to such a condition."

[honeyedache]

Madeleine quite knew what would arise her brother from his chambers and she was quite excellent at it. Even as children, sweet little Madeleine would drag her brother around whenever Jasper had gotten into a bit of trouble and would drag him through the Sinclair household, showing him toy after toy, inviting him to all of her splendid piano showings, just her, her dolls and him. She quite doted on him so much, the two of them having that similar sweetness to them, the similar gentleness that they held and bestowed upon one another. He had always been her big brother, full of protection and love, but she was also utterly protective and none raged more in anger and in upset (as Jasper knew quite well, as he had heard her over and over again) than Madeleine when she read Lady Whistledown's tale. Her Callum was of gentle love, of gentle behavior - a lunatic, a madman he was not and she would spend her days cheering him up the best way she could, often with her playful giggles, her piano and her smile.

"I am ever so happy to see you, Callie. You are much too wonderful to be hidden away in your chambers and I knew this would get you out. Your favorite pianoforte, is it not?" She smiled, giggling softly. Madeleine leaned her head on her older brother's shoulder, as she took his hands with hers, showing him softly how to play it. "I always thought it could be you deemed the piano prodigy of our family, sweet brother." She smiled at him, brightly, warmly, her voice calming and soft. "Oh, there is just ever so much to think on, now being paired with Sir Thayer Claremont. Can you hardly believe that? Such a handsome, dashing man and the Queen has thought me worthy enough to be paired with him? It is such a pristine honor and I scarcely knew what to wear now and how to behave. Surely he is used to a most sophisticated, fine women of society and I am hardly that, dear brother." Juliet smiled, head still comfortably on his shoulder until she looked up at him, excitedly.

"And you - my dear Callie are to be paired with two women? The queen mother deems you that lovely and that regal that you've been paired with two women for your liking. You are ever the most eligible bachelor, I hope you know that, and every woman or man that looks upon you and calls upon you must meet my very strict rules upon courting with you. I will see to it immediately." She flashed him a playful, sweet grin. She reached for his hand, in only a way a baby sister would for her big brother, and squeezed it, bringing it to her lips to kiss faintly, giving him the most reassuring smile. "I am just ever so glad to see you."

The tears had been a near constant since the Sinclair’s arrival back home — Callum had shut his bedchamber door behind him and wouldn’t come out for anything. Meals had been left untouched at the dining table — Callum’s seat empty as he hid away in his bed, as if his covers could hide him from the world. He wasn’t sure how many more tears he had left in him, but they never slowed. He had felt like he was bleeding himself dry himself in the throes of his anxiety, trying to fight it off rather than succumb to it.

He was a child again, locked away — by his own doing, too afraid to face the world. But he missed his siblings. He missed feeling companionship. He missed their laughs, the ways their eyes lit up when they were talking, he missed it all — Callum was just too scared to face them, too scared he had disappointed them.

As he tossed and turned, he heard the familiar, soothing sound of the piano echoing through the house, certain it was Maddie. It stirred him from the panic inside of him and allowed him to breathe. He closed his eyes as he listened to her play. It was almost like a beckoning and he arose from bed and made his way to the parlor.

Smiling as he watched his little sister play so passionately, he hadn’t realized he was in plain sight so when she called his name, he froze. But she beckoned him, she didn’t look at him as if he were a monster — she wanted him to join her. He took a deep breath and walked towards her, nervously sitting on the bench beside her. He took her hand in his, squeezing it gently — the touch alone bringing warmth to his heart, the knowledge that he wasn’t alone. “What’s on your mind, dear Maddie?” he asked, brows furrowed with concern.

[honeyedache]

Christopher had let out a most hearty, adoring laugh that he held for the young woman - in every way, she was formidable and he quite enjoyed Miss Willa. He was proud of her, the way an uncle or even a father would be, and he was glad for the friendship she had shared with his Maude and wife. He wanted that, and he wanted very much for his home to a home where all women under his protection could feel protected, could feel free to express themselves. He knew he was quite liberal in that approach, but he needn't care what others thought of him in that regard. He had been blessed to know and truly love women in his time, with his daughter the most precious prize he could ever ask for - and so he knew he could never deny any of the women that he cared for anything but understanding, empathy and kindness. He could not understand men that did not.

"Well, what the lady of the house does not know will not surely hurt her. We will shield her from this, won't we, Miss Willa?" He smiled, a playful, hearty laugh, seldom heard from the Duke, was let out. Miss Willa was like another daughter, a most grateful and kind addition to the Whitlock estate no doubt.

"One day, Miss Willa, I must meet him there and regal him of stories of how much his daughter has thrived here in my home and how grateful I am for her, for watching over my darling Maude. We both know my darling girl can be quite formidable, but that is why we love her, is it not?" He smiled, warmly. He held out the glass for her, kindly, and nodded at her. "Oh, we must not upset your grandparents' dear spirits, Miss Willa. Go on now, I am quite sure. I would like to know your opinion on it."

Willa leans in a little closer, as though to conspire with the great man, or confide in him a great secret. "She's never been fond of the habit." It feels a little strange, this, speaking to a titled aristocrat like he's a friend, like he's an equal; but in another world, perhaps they would've been. She and his wife have been lifelong friends, after all, sisters more like. Maybe she would've been the wife of some lower nobleman, or the daughter-in-law of a greater one, and their footing would be one of greater balance.

"My own father took to smoking his pipe outdoors whenever she was visiting because he knew, just as you do, how very much she hates it. Come rain or shine, night or day, he would be out there by the stables, puffing away." She thinks of her father now—barely a mile away!—and wonders what he would think of an illustrious peer such as Duke Whitlock knowing such a minute little detail about him. He has always held those with titles and grand, fabled histories in the highest of regards.

His concern for her own well-being only wedges the guilt she feels further into her chest. How can she be so ungrateful to be working for a family who treat her as one of their own? "I am well able to ignore the things said to me by nobility." A little tongue-in-cheek, perhaps, far from ignorant to her own unsuitability for the role she possesses. "I ... well, I fear both my grandfathers would come back from the dead just to disown me if I turned down brandy, Your Grace, but— only if you are certain."

[honeyedache]

Madeleine smiled and shook her head in jest, moving her hand as if it were no huge matter and it wasn't. "No, no, of course not. To be away from home for so long and then come back, I am sure you were quite turned around. Has much changed, do you think? I have never left Mayfair, I would be curious to what you think indeed." Madeleine smiled at the woman and bowed. "Lady Millicent Grant. Oh, my! You - You must be somehow related to Lord Benedict Grant, are you not? I quite adore him. Welcome back, Lady Grant, welcome back indeed. It is a joy to meet you. Do you quite need help being escorted?"

Millicent hadn't been paying enough attention to Madeleine to realise that she had been reading before she had spoken to her and she instantly felt guilty for having interrupted her. She was glad of the kind smile, though. "Ah, me memory is failing me, I suppose." She laughed, shaking her head. Maybe she should have been paying a little more attention. "If you are not too busy. I would be happy for the company." She nodded, a small smile on her lips. "I am. Yes. I've been away for ... five years now." It was crazy how time seemed to fly. She could hardly believe that she hadn't been in London for so long. "Lady Millicent Grant." She smiled, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sinclair."

[honeyedache]

Madeleine had only giggled softly at Mister Arden's return, and she slightly had rolled her eyes, playfully so. "It is not ever the - what ever is it called? Absinthe? It is more real than you can scarcely imagine and I have even worn one of my best gowns for you." Madeleine did a quick twirl, showing just how much thought she had put into this night that she dearly had wanted to be apart of. Tales have been all over Mayfair about the parties of Mister Arden and Madeleine was nothing if not extremely curious about such parties indeed. It was the curse of being the heavily protected only daughter of a marquess, but she wanted to experience whatever it is that she could - without a proper chaperone and she was quite known to be able to disappear from her maids.

"I quite walked, did I not, Mister Arden? Is there perhaps a forcefield that does not allow a Sinclair to cross your entrance way? Either way, I fought against it and I would like to be able to enter. What ever is behind those doors? I have heard such tale and if it is because I am without a chaperone, or that I am the only daughter of a marquess, then you needn't worry. I do not need a chaperone and my mother will not ever know of this. I assure you." Madeleine's smile was bright and determined, nodding.

"Would you not like such a face to brighten your party, Mister Arden?" Sher looked upon him, glittering eyes and all.

Arden groans upon the footman's disruption, ruining the facade of the realm within the walls of the manor. He lifts the mask he wore, black silk and gold stitching, to return to the front door. Half expecting some newsboy, dreading some midnight delivery of Whistledown, but finds none other than the darling presence of a lady he has never invited.

"May it be the absinthe, because I cannot fathom that Miss Madeleine Sinclair is at my door once more," Arden says, stepping out into the night that is seemingly brighter than the holdings of the manor. "How is it that you have even made it this far on the property?"

Too many times has he caught her trying to sneak in, and it is a wonder why she would be enthralled by such a thing. Intrigue, of course, but was she so unaware of debauchery with four brothers?

"I hope you are lost, petit chat, and you'd do well to find your way home. Curiosity has an affinity for cats."

[honeyedache]

Juliet knew her Beatrice would refuse it, and it only had served to make Juliet look away, tears building up behind her eyes. Her sweet dear Beatrice, her dear sweet cousin. She could not simply live with herself if Beatrice had been deemed dirtied because of her relation to Juliet - she could imagine, nor could she ever quite handle it. Juliet had spent her life much like Oliver Heywood had - caring and protecting other and perhaps that was why they had found one another, had found their other half in one another and been soulmates all along. Beatrice was just a young woman and it hadn't been upon now, looking at her, at her delicate, such beautiful features that Juliet realized the consequences of her actions. She would not ever regret meeting and falling in love with Oliver, laying with him and conceiving the beautiful baby that grew inside her - never for a moment. However, she had hated that this could be potentially ruining to Beatrice as well - the little girl in her life that Juliet had spent so much of her time doting on, loving and protecting. There was no one Juliet adored more - and in the darkness and dimness of the lounging parlor, Juliet let out a saddened, weakened sob, falling into her cousin's arms.

"Oh, my Beatrice. Oh, my darling. Forgive m-me, please. F-Forgive me, darling." Juliet begged for her to do so, and hated that she had been ever so selfish to begin with. "I regret nothing more than hurting you - if this affects you. I do not - I do not regret falling in love with my Oliver, nor having his child - but the effect that it will have on you? I cannot bear it if it does." Juliet cried, a sob wracking her chest.

"I will miss you if I am to go - I will miss you so much. You will not allow my own stain to hold you back though - you must promise me, my darling. Please!" Juliet begged, all of it coming out of her as she looked up to cup her cousin's face with her own tears. Her cousin's devotion, dedication to her had made her truly tremble with gratitude, with love. "Oh, my sweet Beatrice ... I am most frightened, I have to admit that to you now. I am frightened. I n-needn't know how to be a mother - not when my own scorns me so passionately all of my li-life." Juliet's lip trembled wildly, looking up at her dear cousin like a child, the role of brave, protective older cousin washing away with such tears.

"How co-could I be - be worthy of being a mother, if my own despises me so? How - how horrid must I be as a daughter then? Mothers and daughters - it is a most sacred, loving relationship and mine has never wanted any part of m-me. It is my fault, sweet Beatrice. It must have always been my fault - what kind of daughter turns her own mother's stomach?" The sob that wrecked Juliet's lungs was one that was hidden and shoved down for so long and when it came out - it was a most desperate, horrifyingly devastating sound.

Juliet pulled away, horrified at her own behavior, at her own sobs and shook her head, wiping her tears as fast as they had come. "I mu-mustn't burden you with this, my dear love. I - I do not know - what came over me. You must forgive me - you have so much in front of you to plan and think of, all of the wonderous things the queen has in store for you. You will be the shining jewel you've always been destined to be, my Beatrice. You know that, do you not?"

Beatrice thought that Juliet was the bravest person that she had ever known. To fight for love the way that she was, to stand by Oliver. She thought that she was absolutely incredible. She wished that other members of her family could see it that way too. She didn't understand why they all felt like their appearance was more important than the happiness. She didn't understand why something like this would ever ruin the reputation of a person. Society didn't really make sense to her. "No." Beatrice shook her head. "Juliet, I will not stand by and let them tear you to shreds if there is something that I can do about it. I can't just not fight for you. It goes against every fibre of my being." She did not care if it ruined her own reputation. She thought that she had done enough of that herself. She would be there for Juliet, until her dying breath. "If there is even a little bit of something that I can do for you, Juliet, I am going to do it. I love you. You are my family, my best friend. I'm never going to let you go down without some sort of fight."

"Please do not worry, sweet cousin. They may think that they are better than you but they are absolutely not. What you and Oliver are doing - it is all that matters, Juliet. It is everything. I cannot wait to meet your little baby." She smiled as she looked to her cousins stomach and then looked back up at her cousin, "I will be taking part. Yes." She rolled her eyes. It was clear what she thought about that.

[honeyedache]

Christopher could hardly stand the way the author behind these articles could send out the most horrifying, libeous rhetoric and not be found out. He couldn't quite stand it and although he was far from a wrathful man, he could not help his own fists clench at the thought of all that she had spilled out for everyone to see. Gossip were one thing, the nobility of Mayfair would always have gossip - but this was another thing entirely. He sighed, nodding, quite agreeing with his ward.

"I quite agree, Miss Edith, I quite agree. Until then though, I suppose we must live with the not knowing and protect who we must protect. I will always protect my family - and you are very much part of said family, my girl. You needn't forget that and you needn't hide things from me of all people. Many think a Duke is all very shiny and lavish - it is not. It is a utmost responsibility and I take it quite seriously." He told her, patting her hand softly.

He had to laugh at her statement about being surrounded by strong women, and his low timber of voice registered lowly. "You are quite right indeed and there is nothing I dearly love more than a fierce woman. Women are what make us strong - any man would be a fool to protest that, but then again - men are often all fools." He half smiled.

"You needn't thank me, my girl. I wish for you to find your peace - and perhaps we will find our own together. Does that sound well to you?"

His idea about Whistledown was certainly interesting to Edith. But she supposed it made sense. Anyone could hide behind a pen, anonymity. They could also say whatever it was that they wanted. That was what worried her. She didn't want to think about what might happen if false rumours start to be planted around the Ton. This person could burn everything down and leave nothing in her wake. "I just cannot believe that no-one knows who she is. Surely someone has to be feeding her this information?" She couldn't be everywhere. How could she know everyones deep, dark thoughts if she wasn't one of them?

Edith smiled as Christopher laughed. Well, if nothing else, at least she had managed to get him to smile. She had managed to do something right this evening. "Yes. You were destined to be surrounded by strong women, Your Grace." She nodded. "But I also think that, that is a testament to you. Most men would never allow themselves to be surrounded by the kind of women that you have." She certainly admired that about him.

She nodded, as he explained what had happened. "Then she did not deserve you or Maude. Certainly not Maude." She could only imagine how her friend would be feeling right now. She would certainly make sure that she knew that she was there for her. "Thank you. For your continued kindness."

[honeyedache]

All Juliet could do was merely pretend the stares, the whispers and show of it all was not there - it was all she could do. She had quite thought about fighting back, as she usually would, with her fierce, fiery nature, but what would that dearly do besides further disgrace her and then her family? Sweet Beatrice, sweet Alistair, George and Hunter - not to mention her own brother, sweet little Emily and of course - her Oliver. She held herself always together, with poise, with elegance, and she was quite known for that, but her armor had grown quite worn by now, the endless insults and whispered ridicule relentless, which was why she had stayed home, hidden, as her mother had wanted her to do. You have disgraced yourself and this family enough - you are to stay home and do not dare to venture out. Lord Thorpe had been kinder perhaps, of course he had - but at this point in time, had not spoken to him yet.

Shooting her beloved friend a playful smile, Juliet took his hand, dragging him inside the unnamed, yet favored pristine dress shop. "You will dearly forget about your horses for one day, Mister Lysander, and indulge me. How could you not? There will be horse races tomorrow and other every day, but a day with your beloved childhood friend buying a new, beautiful dress, a dress such as this?" Juliet gasped, touching the fabric with such care and adoring eyes.

"Could you not imagine such a sight with me in this dress? I've had my eye on it for so long now." She crooned, dreaming of wearing it for her beloved Oliver, the dreams of it in her head no doubt keeping her from her sad realities for a while.

A few whispers and alarm, a judgmental silence fell over the dress shop as Juliet touched the dress, entered the dress shop and one of the women seamstresses came over. Miss Thorpe. We would much oblige for you to keep your hands to yourself and not on such precious fabric. We do not know where your hands have no doubt been. Juliet had been taken aback by the words, as she looked upon the modiste with disbelief.

"I - I realize perhaps one should not touch without the intention of buying, of course, however I was here to purchase such a lovely dress." Juliet tried to smile, but the woman had haughtily smirked, reaching forward to take the dress from her. That will simply not do, Miss Thorpe. You can imagine that we only sell to the nobles of Mayfair, of the most pristine and beautiful women. You have - how do we say this now, Miss Thorpe? You have indeed dropped from that category, have you not? Therefore, we are not able to allow you to purchase the dress, or any other dress in this shop. In fact, we would like you to leave.

Juliet felt as if someone had scarcely punched her in the gut - as then judgmental stares and now giggles from other noble women filled the store. It was her humiliation - they had lived for it, wanted it, and had waited for her to touch such a dress to give it to her, to humiliate her in front of everyone, in front of Lysander as well. Hot, burning tears filled her eyes as she had, uncharacteristically, been at a loss for words. A few tears slipped from her eye as she had never, in her entire life, even dreamed of having being kicked out from a place.

Besides, Miss Thorpe, soon enough you will not even able to fit into one of our beautiful dresses, isn't that true? We would not want the ruin of some servant man's child to be shown off in one of our dresses. Another blow, another insult and Juliet had swallowed hard, breathing quite heavily at the rage, embarrassment and horror she felt. The woman had turned to Lysander, a smile on her face.

If you could take Miss Thorpe and remove her from our shop, we would most appreciate it. Thank you, sir. Juliet had begged for words to come out from her mouth, just as they always had, but she could not form any. The seamstresses walked away, and her chance was ruined, as the other women in the shop still giggled and whispered. Juliet looked to her dear friend, unable to meet his eyes in shame and embarrassment as she swallowed hard.

"Le-Let us - Let us go, shall we?"

Lysander wasn't blind, nor was he deaf - he heard the whispers and saw the pointing, the stares, just as Juliet did. He couldn't say it didn't irk him, as of all the people he knew, Juliet certainly deserved this public ridicule the least. While he usually enjoyed the dramatics of Lady Whistledown and her outlandish gossip, and while he had certainly enjoyed a boost in his ego at the mention of his own name... well, it had also left a bitter taste in his mouth for his friend. He found himself shooting glares at gossiping women and judgmental men, almost daring them to say anything too loud or gape for too long. Vultures, the lot of them, he thought. "Dear Juliet, I would much prefer the stables to this." He sighed, continuing with his playful complaining if only to keep her distracted from the whispers. "Stables mean horses, horses usually mean races and races mean bets to be made. Dresses are, unfortunately, not my style nor interest..." He paused as she pulled him along into a shop, suppressing the groan he wanted to let out. "Though I suppose, if it would make you happy, I will suffer it. Do not ask for my opinion on colours - I am certainly no expert." Something in his chest tugged painfully at the soft way she spoke to him then, the way her eyes saddened and the excited spark from before dulled to something that he deemed unpleasant to observe. Yes, he much preferred her jovial chirping from before to this disheartened version. "...Well, that is their loss, and more so, their shame." A rare, genuine smile crossed his face as he reached to tenderly brush his thumb across her cheek for a moment, a fleeting mark of affection before he dropped his hand again. And because emotional vulnerability made him feel nauseous, he gestured vaguely to the dress with a sigh. "Well, go on, then. If I must be subjected to your fashionable whims, I suppose we should get on with it."

[honeyedache]

Juliet took the hand of Lady Marjorie, although hesitant when she saw how many disdainful looks came her way. The Ton was determined to eat her utterly alive, and it was to be a show indeed, a show that others no doubt wanted to watch and comment on, contribute to. Juliet Thorpe had been a quite prominent name amongst the women of the Ton and now here she was, pregnant by a man below her station, a man she was determined to stand by and protect, as this man was the love of her life, but those details do not matter to nobility.

"You are, again, ever so kind. Not many ladies would take my hand in friendship after reading such. I - I thank you very much for doing so and I only can apologize if others give you the same looks I am receiving." She quietly told Lady Marjorie with a sigh.

"Ah, yes, My Lady, I would be indeed careful. Mister Tobias is many things and I fear we might not know all of him quite yet. I just wish for you to be careful." There was a hidden smirk upon her features, as she sipped at her tea. Books about childbearing. Juliet was taken aback by the generous offer, as she dearly loved to read, but knew she could not have such books if her mother had any say about it.

"That - that would be most generous and unbelievably kind of you, My Lady Marjorie. I - I would receive such with gratitude. I dearly love to read, especially to inform. You would do such?"

"I agree, and I feel that being cruel is no way to be." She answered with a nod before smiling.

"Understood. Ah many people are quite complex but I shall heed your warnings." She replied before sipping her tea and taking Juliet's words to heart.

"Oh it is of no problem to me Miss Thorpe. Please, if you need anything at all, all you must do is ask and I shall help in any way I can. If you would also like I could find some books about childbearing and give them to you as well. Do you like to read?" She asked as she held onto her hand graciously with a kind and genuine smile.