#SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I EVER SAID ABOUT YOU LOUIS. YOU STILL DO KIND OF SUCK RE CLAUDIA BUT NOT EXACTLY LIKE I THOUGHT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thestarrynightslover · 4 years ago

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I'll Make It Okay for You - Part 1

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader

Word count: 3,666

Warnings: Discussion, yelling, some angst, mentions of drugs, and drug abuse.

Summary: What happens when (y/n) (y/l/n), Harvey’s secret crush and a junior partner at his firm, openly defies him in front of everyone?

You can find Part 2 here.

Disclaimer: I don’t own the show Suits, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: So, this is my first Harvey Specter fic and I’m obviously quite unsure about it, lol. This might’ve ended up like one big mess, cause I tried to combine a bunch of Harveys I wanted to see. The perfect recipe for disaster, right? Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback, cause I’m also here to learn!!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

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You’d barely stepped out of the elevator when you were met by your secretary that morning. That couldn’t mean anything good.

“Morning, (y/n/n). You’ve got an emergency meeting with Jessica today. Gonna give you the schedule on the way there.” Lucy stated, leading you on the opposite way to Jessica’s office.

“Oh, I got the memo; company’s under attack again. She wants me on the frontlines this time. Louis is probably running around saying ‘We’re at war, people, war!!!’, or something like that. But why aren’t we headed towards the boss’ office?”

“Apparently, uh, she wants y’all to convey at Harvey’s office.” She said hesitantly, as if afraid of your reaction.

“Are you kidding me? It’s the first hour of the morning and she wants me to go see that smug face of his?” You pouted childishly.

“Smug and hot, you mean.” Lucy corrected you, getting an outraged look from you in response, as she usually would by saying anything positive about Specter.

“Shush,” You said, motioning for her to stop talking, “ one shall not praise Harvey Annoying Specter around me.” You stated full of obstination, but the younger woman just laughed you off and said:

“Well, here we are. I guess I’ll just have to send you an e-mail with your schedule, since, once again, we spent our schedule minutes of the day talking about “the enemy”.” She mocked with gestures and everything this time. That Lucy really was a piece of work, she timed the whole thing perfectly, in a way that you couldn’t even repudiate her insinuations because you were already standing in front of Specter’s office door.

Not long after you had entered and Jessica had officially started the strategy-meeting, though, all eyes in the room turned to you, as your phone started ringing in your back pocket. "Shit! I'm- I'm so sorry, guys, I guess I-"

"Can you please take your job seriously for once in your life, (y/l/n)?" You heard Harvey Pain-In-The-Ass Specter rudely remark, as you tried to swallow your embarrassment.

“Well, like I was trying to say, I’m sorry. Gonna turn it off right now, won’t happen again.” You said, directing your apologetic look to Jessica.

“You should just go ahead and answer it, could be something important.” She calmly told you.

“Especially now that you’ve already interrupted our work.” Specter chipped in again, which just gave you more fuel to answer the goddamn phone.

“Hello, yeah this is her.” You confirmed to the man on the phone, while taking a few steps towards the corner of the room. “What??? Are you sure? Oh my God! O- okay, just tell me which one and I’ll be there as soon as possible! Right, thank you.” Everyone’s eyes were on you, trying to understand what made you look so distressed. Except his, of course.

“Wait a second. Are you leaving right now?” He asked with a mix of annoyance and irritation in his voice.

“Yes, I am. I’m sorry, Jessica, but this is a family emergency. I have to go.”

“Well, I just hope you know that this doesn’t look good for you, (y/n).” She said, voice inexpressive.

“I do and, honestly? I couldn’t care less about that right now.” You firmly told her, while hoping your career wasn’t over by the next morning.

“I hope everything goes well for you and your family, (y/n). If you need anything, and I mean anything, just let me know.” Louis told you with that childish smile of his. Jesus, even in a moment like this, he tried to flirt with you.

“Thank you, Louis. That’s very kind.” You faked a tiny smile.

“Unbelievable.”

“What?” You asked, turning back to face Harvey.

“Your firm is under attack and you’re leaving because of some stupid family crap?” Was he even serious?

“Precisely. And I don’t really care what your thoughts are on it. Our priorities are clearly very different.” Who the hell did he think he was to say anything about your family’s issues?

“Well, that shouldn’t matter because, the minute you walk in here, through those elevators out there, you’re supposed to leave all things personal behind.”

“Oh, right. I’m so sorry that I’m not some heartless lawyer like you, who’s just in it for the petty fights in the name of money-making.” Shit. You needed to get the hell out of there before you said something else to make Specter wanna kick you out himself. So you did. Stormed out like there was no tomorrow, leaving nothing but the very shocked Donna, Jessica, Louis, Mike, and Rachel behind. Oh, yeah, and a very pissed-off Harvey Specter.

Okay, maybe you were a little too harsh, but given the place you needed to go, to do what you needed to do, you didn't care about Harvey, your job, or anything else.

---

It was much later on that same day, around dinner time, that you heard a soft knock on your door. But how could someone be at your door, if the doorman downstairs hadn't announced any visitors? Were you dreaming? Well, the day had been so tiring that that wasn't exactly impossible… Nonetheless, you made your way to the door, whilst holding your very needy three-year-old nephew in your arms. Not that you could blame Henry after the day he’d had.

Since you weren’t expecting anyone, it was reasonable to believe that, whoever it was, was going to be a surprise. But not in a million years would have you ever guessed that Harvey Specter was the one knocking at your door. Especially considering what had happened at the firm earlier. How did he even know your address?

“Hi, (y/l/n). I didn’t know you had a kid.” He stated with a bit of surprise of his own, pointing to the little boy you were carrying.

“No, uh, I don’t have any.” You managed to say, trying to control your shocked expression. “This is my nephew.” You clarified again, a little more at ease this time.

“My name’s Henry. What’s yours?” You heard your nephew ask with his cute child-voice.

“Harvey. It’s, uh, it’s very nice to meet you, Henry.” Harvey told the boy, holding out his hand for him to shake, as a sweet smile came to his lips.

“Is he your friend, auntie (y/n/n)?” Henry asked you hesitantly, before making a move. The Don’t Talk to Strangers Rule must’ve kicked in his mind.

Before answering him, you hesitated a little bit yourself, though. Was Harvey your friend? Obviously not, but if he came to your apartment in the middle of the night like this, it was probably because of something important. Work-related, of course. Which meant you’d have to let him in, so you settled for what would be the easiest classification for a three-year-old.

“Yeah, bud, he is my friend from work.” Hearing that, something in Specter’s eyes changed, you didn’t really know what, though.

“Well, then, can he come play with us?” He gave you such a cute look, that you almost said yes right on cue. But you obviously couldn’t.

“You’d have to ask him, but I’m sure he has a lot of other, more important, things to do now.” You tried to explain to the little boy, giving Harvey a look. But you didn’t get too far, as the lawyer quickly said:

“Of course I wanna go play with you! That is if your auntie’s okay with that…” Now he was mocking you, that was the only explanation.

“Can we play with him, then, auntie (y/n/n)? Please, please, please?” God, what horrible thing could’ve you possibly done to deserve this particular punishment?

“Um, I guess... If he really has nothing better to do-” Harvey didn’t even let you finish your sentence.

“I really don’t.” He said, shooting you and Henry a bright smile that you’d never seen before.

“Okay, then, come in. Please disregard the mess, I got this stuff to make dinner, but someone just won’t detach, right, mister?” You asked your nephew with fake annoyance in your voice, as you tickled his sides a little bit. He just laughed at you. Though what really caught your attention was the fact that Harvey, too, was chuckling lightly at the scene, as he started picking up your groceries’ bags from the floor. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you, what else?” You gave him a weird look because, well, it was a weird situation. Maybe he noticed your discomfort because he added: “You look tired, so I’ll help you by making dinner and putting the rest of these away.”

“You’re kidding, right?” There was no way in hell that the All-Mighty Harvey Specter was gonna get domestic for you, of all people. Since he didn’t bother to answer, you went on: “First of all, what was it that you really came here to do, hum? And, second, I don’t need your help with anything.” Normally you tried to be kind to everyone, but, then again, Specter wasn’t exactly your normal kind of guy.

“Well, first of all,” he started in a tone of mockery, “that was rude! Look at the example you’re setting for little Henry!” Oh God, as much as you hated to admit it, he was kinda right, because you had completely forgotten about the little boy still cradled in your arms. “Second, we can talk about the reason why I came here later,” after your nephew’s asleep, was implicit in his speech, “third, it looks like you do need some help. And, for your luck, I happen to be a very good cook when I want to.”

“But-” You could barely begin your sentence, as Harvey sharply cut you off:

“You see, buddy,” he started, motioning to Henry this time, “the quicker we get your auntie on board with the game plan, the quicker we’ll get to eat and go play together!” Son of a bitch! Using a child to get to you…

“Can we please, auntie? Please?” How could you not crack after that pleading?

“Fine, but I swear I’ll make you pay if we wake up with food poisoning tomorrow, Specter.” You told him playfully, trying to lighten the mood after all of your bluntness.

“Oh, trust me, (y/l/n), you won’t. This will be the best meal you and the young man here will ever have in your entire lives.” He said cockily, but without the usual arrogance level, if that even makes sense.

A few hours and a really great dinner later, you and Henry couldn’t help but snicker shamelessly at Harvey’s ridiculous faces, as the three of you played a game on your living room’s floor. Trying to catch your breath from your giggles, you glanced up at the clock and realized that it was way too late for your nephew to be out of bed like that. So you broke up the game, announcing:

“It’s bedtime for you, Mr. Henry.” You watched the faces of the pair turn into ones of pure disappointment, as they prepared to pout.

“Just a little longer, auntie (y/n/n)! please!” The little boy started.

“Yeah, auntie, just a little longer! Please?” This time it was the grown man, one of the toughest Wall Street lawyers.

“As moved as I am by your synchrony, guys, the answer is a big no. C’mon, bud, let’s go brush your teeth. And then straight to bed. So say bye to Harvey, and thank him for being so nice to us tonight.” He looked between you and Specter as if still hoping for a hail Mary of some sort.

“Bye, Harvey.” He sounded so sad, but then he smiled brightly again, as he repeated what you’d told him to say word by word: “And thank you for being so nice to us tonight.” Hearing that, both you and Harvey chuckled lightly at the young boy, who quickly added: “Will you come see us tomorrow too?”

“Uh, we’ll, uh, we’ll see about that, okay, little man?” He tried to let Henry down slowly but, watching the boy’s expression become a sad one instantly, he added: “It’s just because both your auntie and I have a lot of work ahead of us tomorrow, but I’ll do my best, okay?” That was definitely a side of Harvey you’d never seen before, he had even bent down to be on your nephew’s level.

“Okay.” Henry said quietly, seeming to be a little happier, too.

“Okay, then let’s just go upstairs already.” You took the boy’s hand to guide him towards the spare bedroom’s bathroom, all the while shooting Specter a look that told him to wait for you a little longer.

“I’ll wait for you down here.” He said, proving he understood what your eyes tried to transmit.

So you headed upstairs with your nephew and, after a good fifteen minutes of brushing Henry’s teeth, helping him into his PJs, and tucking him in, you finally managed to come back to the living room, where you found Harvey looking through some of your photos displayed on the sideboard. For a minute or two, you just watched him. It wasn’t that you liked what you saw or anything. It wasn’t. It was more like postponing the weird conversation you two were bound to have, because, after all that had happened in those few hours, the atmosphere was, at very least, a strange one. But, almost as if he’d felt your gaze on his back, the lawyer in him was switched on, and he interrupted your thoughts by saying:

“Ah, you’re back. Good, because we need to talk.” You just motioned for him to follow you into your home office. But both you and Harvey looked so informal to be in that kind of environment, that you just indicated the small couch on the wall opposite to your desk for you to take your seats in.

“So, uh, before you even say anything, I wanna thank you for being so kind tonight,” a small smile came to your lips, as you remembered, not only the evening but how your nephew had used almost those exact same words, already imitating you, a little earlier. Specter smiled too, you noticed. “and I also wanna apologize. If you came here to talk to me… I must’ve made you waste a lot of time, huh?” You tried with a half-smile this time, as embarrassment started taking over you.

“What? No, of course not! I'm pretty sure that I told you I didn't have anything better to do, didn't I?" He calmly asked with a smile.

"Yeah, but I'm not buying it. You're Harvey Specter, isn't that what you're always saying? And Harvey Specter always has something better to do, isn't that right?" You shot back in a mockery tone, regaining your confidence.

"Well, maybe. But, not today. So don't apologize, and don't thank me. I'm the one who should be thanking you, I had a really good time tonight." Okay, now you were shocked. He had a good time?

"Uh, okay, um, so... What was so urgent that you had to come here in the middle of the night?" You nervously ranted, while tugging your hair behind your ears. He just stared at you, so much so that you almost repeated your question.

"Um, yeah, about this morning… That's why I came here…" You were already guessing that that would come up eventually, but it was the topic of your conversation? "I know that you and I always had our differences, and maybe even some rivalry-"

"Some rivalry? Dude, I'm just a junior partner, and ever since I started on that firm you've been persecuting me-"

"I wouldn't say persecuting…"

"Oh, you wouldn't?"

"Not since you made junior partner anyways. Now it's just a healthy rivalry between work friends…" He tried to use what you’d told your nephew earlier.

"Oh, so you do admit you were persecuting me when I was an associate, huh?"

"Shit." He muttered quietly, as you watched him with a victory smile on your lips. "You know what? Hell yeah, I did persecute you when you were an associate." Hearing that blunt admission of guilt, you just couldn't find anything to say. “You wanna know why? I did that because, from the first time I saw you doing your job, I saw this very thing that I see now: you kicking ass, you think I wanted to admit this to you? I’ll answer it myself: no, I didn’t. The only reason why it happened is that you led me to it.” He blurted out, completely knocking you off your socks.

“So, um, you treated, you treat me like shit because, um, because I’m good?” You asked, still unsure of what to think about his confession.

“Well, that was part of it, sure. So, you see, I could understand it when you weren’t particularly thrilled at the perspective of working with me. But, this morning, you said that I’m a heartless guy who only cares about money… Is that really what you think of me?” This time he sounded genuinely sad? When Harvey said that he’d come to your apartment to talk about that morning, you thought he was gonna reprimand the shit out of you for disrespecting him ⎯ your sort of boss, a senior partner ⎯, but, apparently, he was asking about it on a more personal level. A level you’d never really thought played a part in your relationship with him.

“Oh, Harvey…”

“Be honest, please. I don’t want your pity. You don’t even know me all that well, so don’t try to minimize anything. I can take it.”

“That’s not what I was gonna do. And, trust me, you’re probably the last person in the world I’d pity.” You told him with a sly smile. “You’re right. I don’t know you all that well. Or, at least, I didn’t this morning. But I do know that you’re not heartless. Also, I was really out of line then, I’ve seen you fighting tooth and nail for a lot more than just money in that firm. You’re loyal to your firm and friends like no one else and, tonight, I watched you sitting on the floor and playing with a little boy. And, trust me, that meant more to him than you’d ever know, especially after today… Anyways, what I’m really trying to say is that I was so damn wrong and that I’m sorry. I’d gotten some pretty nerve-racking news beforehand, not that that’s an excuse but...” You told him, meaning every word and trying hard to show how much you regretted your previous actions.

“Wait, what news?”

“Ah, it’s nothing for you to worry about, really.” You tried to brush him off.

“Oh, c’mon! You said all those nice things about me, but when it comes to your life and your problems you still don’t trust me, isn’t that right?” His tone was sharply inexpressive, but his eyes showed he was actually hurt.

“What are you talking about? Oh my God, Harvey! I’ve relied on you for a number of cases that I really cared about! I let you in on my apartment! I let you spend an entire night around my nephew! Of course, I trust you!”

“Then what the hell is the problem? You think I’m not gonna give a damn about your family issues? Is that it? Because I am literally begging you to tell me about them!”

“I don’t wanna tell you because I don’t want you, or anyone else on the firm, to think that I’m some pathetic little girl who uses her family issues as an excuse to get out of a tough fight.” You confessed in a lower tone, slightly embarrassed, just hoping he would understand and stop poking. “Things are very different when you’re a woman, you know…”

“I would never think that about you. Family is important. Especially if it’s made of people like Henry…” He said, reassuring you, even though there was a hint of sadness in his voice. “Besides, you said you trust me, so you need to trust me when I say that I wouldn’t betray you by telling people about your problems. I’m not here as your boss, (y/n). I just wanna help you.” He sounded so sincere and, if you were being honest with yourself, you kinda really needed to vent.

“Okay, um, where to start? I have two sisters: Henry’s mother, Kat, and a fifteen-year-old, Lisa. I’m the older one of all three of us. Lisa’s sick, like very sick, so my parents, who are both retired, are with her at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, to try and get her better. In the meantime, Kat was supposed to go to college, as well as care for her son, between my parents and me, she wouldn’t even need to provide for them or anything. But, a while ago, she overdosed for the first time. That’s when we found out about her addiction. We’ve already tried a million different things but nothing works. So, my parents and I threatened to make her lose her parental rights over Henry, hoping that it’d be a wake-up call for her, but it backfired. She just took the boy and disappeared, then today I get that call, from the police department, saying that she was in custody for drug distribution and endangering the well-fare of a minor. They asked me to go pick my nephew and, maybe, get Kat a lawyer.” And, just like that, you’d told Harvey Specter, of all people, everything. Tears rolling down your cheeks and him pulling you into a hug.

If anyone had told you that that was how your night was gonna go, you would have definitely laughed them out of the room. But now, just sitting there, being held and caressed by Harvey, as you let your armor down, it was finally beginning to look like things were gonna be okay.

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shayjonez · 2 years ago

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EXCERPT FROM THE HOOD PRINCESS AND THE PREP...

Three months later, as I sat in on a meeting that Granny B was attending, I found it hard to focus. My mind kept wandering back to the most annoying man I had ever known. Not that I knew a lot, but no man had ever made me feel like he does. I smiled as I thought about the last time I had seen him. Just a few hours ago, but it seemed like forever ago. He had woken me up with breakfast and flowers. We ate, and he told me about his day and I talked about mine. It had felt so normal to laugh with him and just be me. He was still arrogant, but now I thought it was kind of cute and when he flirted or popped up where I was, it seemed sweet.

It was also the little things I was noticing like when he talked, he made eye contact the whole time. I always have his undivided attention. He made my heart leap just by entering a room, followed by a shower of warmth from head to toe. Was it love? I wondered, thinking about the picnic we had last week after the public apology. It had sucked, and the guys had been jerks, but he made sure my day ended on a positive note.

Two weeks ago, after helping to repair the club and pay for the damages, we had gone to the beach. We had laid in the sand and talked well after the sun went down. We had drank wine and the whole thing was just like a movie. Every spare moment of my time was taken up by Cornell, and I didn't even care. It was the highlight of my day now. On busy days, he would just pop up for five minutes or less, but he never left without kissing me or touching me. The kiss was always hot as hell and left me wanting more, but It was the slight touches that set me on fire. How he would hold my hand or wrap an arm around my waist like it was what we did. sometimes we'd be talking to someone like in the interview we did a few days ago, and he would steal my attention. He didn't care who I was talking t or what I was doing.

In the middle of the interview, we had a moment on camera. He started playing with my hair and I looked at him. Our eyes met and held and we both just grinned at each other. A picture of that secretive grin had made the papers. The people had loved that, but it had been real. It was moments like that for me.

It could be love, I thought, letting out a huff.

"Are we boring you Victoria?" Granny B asked?

"No mame," I quickly replied, "Of course not."

"You have been daydreaming again," she said with a knowing smile.

"Sorry mame," I replied, sitting up straighter.

"We are closing anyway," Granny B replied, turning again to the French ambassador. Or was it the Turkish? I did not know, but he was an ambassador. "We will be attending the Ambassador's wedding in two weeks. Please have Olivia schedule that, and you will need a new dress. It is an evening event, so wear a tiara, please."

I nodded and stood as they did. I exited the room behind them, clutching my notepad and pen to my chest as I thought back to my favorite subject. I never expected to connect to him, not on the level we had reached. I didn't know if I was falling in love. What I knew what that having him around for another sixty years wasn't looking so bad.

Two hours later, I looked into the eyes of an angry old man. He didn't like me, I could tell. Everything he had been saying was intended to piss me off. I didn't like him either. From his bald head to the wrinkles on his chin. He had to be like eighty and he thought he was everybody's daddy.

So he was the head chancellor of the scarlet order and Granny B's right-hand man. Since I got here, he had been complaining. First, I didn't want to be here. This was not on my damn schedule, and I didn't like to deter from my schedule. Granny had asked me to sit in this meeting today in her place. Apparently, these were my go-to people. They were to advise me as they had done my grandma and her father before her.

To me, they just seemed old and tired. No one was younger than sixty. Thank God for technology and the history library here, or I'd have totally bought the bullshit leaking from his teeth. He was upset about my drunken night, my night out, and now that the prince and I were out so regularly, in the open, where it was dangerous.

Like I didn't have a small militia of guards surrounding me every day. Like anyone ever got close or even touched me. I could never even take pictured with people or give them hugs. These were my people, according to them, and I had never reached into a crowd or taken a photo with them because it could be dangerous. There were seven men here and if I have my way, they will all be gone by the time I take the throne.

Lord Phillip continued, "a recent poll shows you to be unfavorable to the people. They question your sanity and stability. I just want to put it on the table that there is another heir, someone who will take their role as king seriously."

There was a hushed murmur around the room as I perked up and eyed Philip with all the disdain I could muster. Oh, he wanted to play chess? With checker pieces?

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He had the decency to look uncomfortable. He should. He was lucky he was still sitting comfortably.

"All I am saying is that if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. You can go home, to America and it will be like nothing had ever happened."

I sat back in my chair and digested that. Had Granny B not threatened my mother, I probably would have turned this entire offer down. Protecting her had been my reason for accepting my grandmother's offer. However, she had expressed her dislike of whoever the alternative was. Which meant that my mother was still in danger until she died or stepped down. Even with that obstacle lurking, I realized I had gotten used to the idea of being queen. I was looking forward to it and I now liked my grandma. She was a little hard around the edges, but I understood why now. Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

This dude had some huge balls, to even say that to me, yet he had. It made me think of a desperate chess move. He was jumping ahead of his game and not waiting until a better time. I had been rocking this princess thing. I knew it because the papers were gushing about me every day. I had seen no poll, and my publicist would have pointed that out. It made my hackles raise, and I wondered if the old dude with the crusty goatee was a traitor. Was he working for the opposition? Did the other guy even want the throne, or did he just not like me?

I leaned forward and smiled at him. Game on Sir lord. "Phillip, choose your next words carefully. Are you trying to get rid of me?" Checkmate, I thought. I guess he forgot I held all the important pieces on both sides. He was simply a pawn.

#ROYAL #ROYALROMANCE #ARRANGED MARRIAGE #shayjonez #author #crimefiction #urban #halloween #amazon

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 4 years ago

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I’m sorry, but can I just go on a little rant about the Louis, clouis, and the Clem comic...?

I didn’t really talk about Louis in my overall review of the comic because I wanted that to be more contained to the content shown on the pages, Clementine’s relationship with AJ, and her as a character.... but the more I think about these comics and Louis, the more frustrated I become thinking about what Clementine abandoning everyone would do to him.

[... okay it’s not little anymore since I guess I can never just do anything simple when it comes to Louis, sorry my bad]

So, no surprise, we all know the comic’s bullshit by now. Clementine leaving everything and everyone behind because she’s not happy is dumb, AJ just letting her go is dumb, and Clem going to the mountains on crutches and a peg leg to find this so-called happiness is dumb.

Now that we’ve established it’s dumb, I wanna talk about Louis because I got a lot of built up feelings about how bullshit this storyline is with how Clementine would not only abandon AJ, but also abandon Louis.

Because let me tell you..... his heart would be broken beyond repair and I need to talk about why.

Sigh.... so.... muh boy.

Before he met Clementine, Louis was this laidback, irresponsible, but caring and musical person who kept his head down to avoid conflict and never looked at the future. He was the kind of person who took things one day at a time, saw survival as a day-to-day task, and said that the future doesn’t exist, there’s only today. You get the point, he was never too concerned with things because they always seemed to work out, and if they didn’t, then that sucks and that’s why we should appreciate every day while we have it.

Louis is shown to be charismatic and friendly, he spends his free time playing piano and card games, but no one really takes him seriously. Not even Marlon, his best friend for 8+ years. While he doesn’t seem to be on bad terms with anyone [including Aasim, they just act like people who disagree with the other’s point of view and have had the same argument many times, but that doesn’t mean they hate each other, y’know?] he also doesn’t appear super close with anyone outside of Marlon and possibly Violet, but even then.

Marlon’s shown to have little faith in him with the way he talks about if Louis will even show up to hunt. He has a controlling grip on Louis that’s prominent during the confrontation scene when he uses intimidation to try to convince Louis to not interfere. Oh, and there’s the fact that Marlon’s been lying to Louis for the past year about the twins and then continued to lie to his face about what really happened to Brody... which isn’t great when you consider how Louis was the only one who had blind faith in him as a leader and, according to Marlon, was the only one who couldn’t see how pathetic he always was.

Violet, while having a few more nicer moments with him than Marlon, still invalidates him and his feelings several times throughout the first half of the game which makes me wonder how close they ever were, or at least if Violet ever considered him a close friend to begin with. And no, a small monologue in the dorms doesn’t make everything better or confirm they were brotp the whole time... especially when once they’re on the boat, Louis might as well not exist because Violet can’t be bothered to acknowledge what happened to him or inquire about how he’s doing. I guess she just didn’t have time react while standing in her cell for several unbothered minutes-- no wait, it’s she already reacted off screen. Right. Good writing is good.

What I’m getting at here is that even though Louis is surrounded by people who he genuinely cares about, there is an argument to be made that he’s a lonely person. Hell, he’s aware of his loneliness when he says that no one hears past his music and jokes. I mean, how many nights do you think he spent by himself playing the piano because no one wanted to hear it? Are they like Violet and crack jokes about how he doesn’t have actual talent? Probably, given that someone literally carved “you suck at playing” onto the side of the damn piano.

Oh, and let’s touch on that backstory of his. Louis grew up wealthy with two parents who loved him and each other, and they gave him anything he wanted except singing lessons. Louis says he wanted to be a real musician. But I guess his father didn’t like that idea and told him no, with the [as Louis puts it] dumb dad lesson of, “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” ...which is interesting given that Louis and his family were stupid rich but also.... were they not happy? well, that doesn’t make sense because little Louis knew that if he broke up their marriage, they would be hurt.

So yeah, Louis was so upset that his father continually refused to let him take singing lessons that he broke into the man’s credit cards and faked an affair, which led to his parents divorcing... and then he spit his father’s words back in his face.

Then they dumped him at Ericson. And the walkers came.

There’s so much to unpack from the story he tells that it could be it’s own analysis, but basically.... Louis is aware of why what he did was fucked up, and he carries it with him every day.

He regrets what he did, chews himself out for being such a “vindictive fuckhead” [and the amount of force used in that line tells you a lot, like how it’s not the first time he’s chastised himself like this] and he admits that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about. Yet, he still sees himself as bad, saying that they [I assume the staff] told him and the other kids they’re bad people. I don’t doubt that Louis internalized that which played a huge role in the confidence and self-esteem issues he has during tfs.

Anyway, I’ll come back to this later, but when you take that amount of guilt and regret, and mix it with the fact that they dropped him off at this school that was supposed to make him better.... then the walkers came and those teachers, staff, and headmaster? Gone. Left a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, with the exception of Ms. Martin [but given how she looks when we find her I doubt she lasted that long] and I cannot imagine how horrifying that was for all of them. The dead are up eating people, and if you die you become one of them... and the people you thought you could rely on just fucking left you to die at this school.

Every kid in that school has trauma and abandonment issues from before and after the world went to shit, every last one, and Louis isn’t the exception here. Over the years, a lot of kids died and they’ve all seen horrible shit. They all knew they were never going to see their families again, and as far as we know, no one came to get their kids at the beginning. They had to find ways of coping while trying to survive, and all they had left was each other.

Louis copes with music and games and jokes. He’s built up this persona where it seems like he’s unaffected by the comments the others make, that the death and suffering he’s gone through is in the past, that he is confident and open to those around him.

But then Clementine and AJ show up, and Louis grows close with both of them. They had immediate chemistry upon first meeting, he was the one who looked after AJ since it seems like everyone else saw him as a little terror, and he went out of his way to be kind and make them comfortable.

When they go hunting with him, Louis and Clementine have a moment after taking care of the walker where they lower their guards a bit-- Louis gives her more in-depth reasons for his views of survival, and going off her expression, it gets to her and makes her think.... but they’ve know each other a day and he’s not quick to infodump his life story or let her in, so he cuts the conversation short.

Then we have the Marlon confrontation scene that I have gone over so many times in the past. I won’t dillydally with it too long but..... Clementine appeals to Louis, who curls in on himself because of the control Marlon has on him. He wants to help, and hell, he knows this is wrong but he’s so used to not getting involved that he gets defensive.... plus, he’s known Clementine for two days, and he’s known Marlon for 8+ years.... he wants to believe Marlon but you can tell he doesn’t want this, either. It takes Clementine talking to him to give him courage to stand between her and Marlon’s gun and it’s a lot.

AJ shoots Marlon and everything goes to shit, and Louis is a goddamn mess. His best friend was murderer right in front of him, so add that to the trauma list, and he’s overwhelmed with all these feelings that again.... they keep getting invalidated by Violet because “Marlon was a liar and murderer, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about his death. Get over yourself, Louis, you can be such a shithead sometimes.”

Oh yeah Vi, I guess he should care more about two people he’s known for a total of two days rather than for the safety of the people [including you] he’s grown up with and cared about for 8+ years.... makes sense.

So yeah, little to no support during this time. Alone again.

And just because I have to make this clear so no one gets a hair up their ass-- both Louis and Violet are wrong here. Kicking them out isn’t the solution, but neither is acting like AJ was right to commit murder just because it was Marlon.

But plots gotta plot, so they get voted out and you can see that Louis is conflicted about the whole thing. He wants them gone, but at the same time, he knows what kicking them out means. You can see it on his face that he’s not okay with kicking them out. He’s hurting when he’s there in the dorms telling them how the vote went... he literally doesn’t know what else to do. He just knows that everything hurts, Clem and AJ caused it, and he wants the pain to stop. He even tries to justify it to himself by figuring that they’ve done this before so they’ll be fine. Not a great thing to say, Lou.

Anyway, we know the story, Clem and AJ come back and Louis once again sees the consequences of acting out of pain.... AJ is shot because Louis was hurt and he made a bad decision that he’s gotta live with.... something that he’s done before, and this affirms to him that he’s bad. He wishes he could take it back, and goes as far as to admit that to Clementine during the archery scene.

By the way, credit to him for his apology to her. It’s rare in these games that Clem gets a genuine apology from someone who hurt her and doesn’t turn around to repeat the hurtful behavior, y’know? Plus, I can think of plenty of characters who owed Clem an apology in the past or if they did apologize, it was half-assed.

You can feel how conflicted he is with this whole thing-- learning who Marlon really was and what he did, feeling something for Clementine before everything went down and not knowing how to handle those feelings afterward, caring about AJ and understanding why he thought shooting was the best choice but still hurting that his friend is dead....

And the thing is.... Louis forgives her for so much, as she does him, and through all of that bullshit, they manage to develop that strong connection that turns romantic. Louis lets himself be fully vulnerable with her and is honest about his feelings, how she listened when no one else did and seeing him for more than just the persona he put on.

This works on Clementine’s side, too. Clementine has been through her own fair share of bullshit-- trauma, abandonment, loss, injury, you name it. She’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and has been in enough groups to know that romance usually ends in heartbreak.... and yet, she’s willing to open herself up to Louis and admit she feels a lot for him.

Is it a little rushed? Yep. Could it have been handled better? Of course, most things this season could’ve, but what we got was pretty good.

So Clementine and Louis are romantically involved now, the raiders attack, and she saves him... and boy does Louis feel guilty about that one, too. He feels bad enough that he questions why she would pick him because he can’t fathom his life being worth saving over another’s. He doesn’t see himself as useful, and even though Clementine is literally his girlfriend at this point, his self-esteem is so all over the place that he can’t understand why she would have him at her side.

And when Clementine tells him that he’s too important to her, he’s too baffled to even give a response. He looks at her in disbelief like he wasn’t expecting her to say that. But this shows that at the beginning of their relationship, he still doubts himself, and through her working with him, he begins to build up that strength in himself.

He becomes brave enough to share what got him sent to the school with her, and he plays Don’t Be Afraid for everyone at the party and like.... for once, everyone is listening to him. Really listening to him. They’re not talking shit about his musical skills, they’re not ignoring him or the feelings he’s putting into the song, they’re sitting there with him and I just..... if you watch him, you can see that his eyes get pretty glossy throughout the song. The moment meant something to everyone.

There’s also the fact that Clementine asked him to come with her and AJ onto the boat, and to be the one in charge of the bomb... that’s a huge responsibly and he feels the pressure of that. He starts to panic a bit about if he can do it, because what if he fucks up? What if he gets them caught and makes everything worse? What if something happens to Clementine and he can’t do anything about it?

She’s there to reassure him that she believes in him, and that he can do this. They’re going to get everyone back, and he needs to focus... then he asks her to slap him which why would you? that’s dumb, so Clementine smooches him instead and like.... he physically relaxes into her because he’s comfortable and trusts her in this situation.

Also, he loves her and cares about this mission enough to cover himself and his fancy jacket in walker guts.... sure, he complains while doing so but how else is he gonna cope with rubbing rotten guts on himself to blend in with a herd of walkers?

Skipping ahead so that we’re not here all day, I wanna talk about the walk back to the school because it’s one of the most important clouis moments in the game and a huge reason that solidifies why the comic is bullshit.

Louis went off on his own to go out and find them. He didn’t know where they would be, he just knew that he had to go out and find them after making sure everyone was okay back at the school because he couldn’t bare the thought that he had lost them. And the way the AJ gets so excited to see him? and the group hug??

At this point, Louis has grown so much as a character. With Clementine by his side to support him, he’s grown stronger and more reliable. Remember how he never thought about the future? Well, now he is because his relationship with Clementine has given him a reason to long for a future. He talks about building this imaginary house with her, one he knows they can’t physically build... but it’s his way of saying we can build a home together, that he wants a future with her and AJ and everyone else. It’s such a personal conversation that flows so easy between them. Louis is more comfortable talking to her about things from his past, which is something he didn’t want to do back in ep1.

He confides in her how he’s feeling after he shot and killed Dorian, he tells her that having a home means protecting it and I just.... it’s so good, okay? And from Clementine’s side, you can feel how at ease she is with him, too. Just the way she smiles at him as they’re walking? like he’s the cutest thing and she’s so happy to have him with her?

But then we gotta deal with Minerva’s crazy ass on the bridge and well, AJ shoots Tenn and Louis is having flashbacks to Marlon and it’s not great. That’s a whole thing, and he ends up separated from them while escaping.

We don’t get to see Louis’ reaction to Clementine getting bit and losing her leg since I guess that puts a damper on the overly happy ending. But, going off of what we know about him and what I’ve explained [which isn’t even all of it, this isn’t a full Louis character analysis. if it was, it would be much longer and in multiple parts... believe it or not, I’m trying to not make this too long and only sorta failing...] we can get an idea of how he would react.

Um, to say he was upset is an understatement.

Because remember, he had no time to think and climbed over the fence, thinking he could get them to climb over and they could get away, but it didn’t work. He ended up leaving them in order to save himself since walkers were closing in on him.

But you know that he’d blame himself for the bite. A lot of, “if I had just stayed” and “I should’ve climbed back over, I should’ve stayed with you.” I’m sure there were points where it looked like Clem wouldn’t make it and I can’t imagine how much hurt he went through watching her suffer and heal from losing a leg like that.

Not only that, but knowing that AJ was the one to do it? And him thinking about what Clem’s death would do to AJ after all this? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Louis would take care of AJ if she died. He cares about AJ, and he loves Clementine, so he be there for both of them, even if he’s still hurting from Tenn’s death.

However, Clementine didn’t die. She survived the bite and amputation, and when we flashforward, she and Louis are still happily together. Louis is right there next to her at dinner, and he’s the one to help her with her crutches. He’s there to go over future plans to meet the traveling caravan, and Clementine wants him to be the one to go.

Oh, and Louis once again forgives AJ for shooting Tenn, claiming that he understands that AJ saw something that he couldn’t. Like with Marlon, he’s not happy Tenn’s dead but he can see why AJ did it to save his life.

I just..... happy ending. Clementine and Louis are together and she’s truly happy to have found a home for her and AJ with him at Ericson.

....But then the comic thought it would be fun to say “nah.”

The comic isn’t canon, I’m still insulted that it would ever consider itself as such, but even so I can’t help but feel so frustrated about how this would destroy Louis.

He finally found someone he would consider his best friend, not just his girlfriend. She saw past that funny man persona and he trusted her enough to let her past this wall he built around himself. He let himself become vulnerable around her, he named his song after her. Their initials are carved into his piano with a heart surrounding them. He loved her.

Clementine left him feeling loved, something he probably hasn’t truly felt since he was a little boy with his parents before their divorce. She loved him even after hearing his past because she knew that wasn’t him anymore, and she helped him build the confidence he needed to step up. Because of Clementine, Louis wants to enjoy every day while also looking at the future. He isn’t lonely anymore, he has her and AJ. He’s truly happy.

So to tell me that Louis would wake up one morning only to have AJ tell him that Clementine’s gone, she’ been planning an escape without telling anyone because she wasn’t happy...? I’m sorry, but if you think that wouldn’t leave Louis absolutely devastated, then you know nothing about him as a character.

This idea is just.... look, Louis is perceptive. That’s a big part of his character, he’s perceptive of those around him. If Clementine was showing signs of being unhappy or depression, he would see it. He would notice a change. He would be able to tell if something was off, and he would ask her about it. Louis is the type of person to ask you what you need. What can he do to help? What do you need to feel better? And if you don’t know, it’s okay, he’ll help you figure it out in any way possible.

Plus, the comic suggests that there are times where she went off on her own but came back [probably doing her escape prep ugh] and you expect me to believe that Louis wouldn’t notice that or wonder what she’s doing? Wouldn’t sense that something’s going on?

After she’s gone, he’s going to blame himself for not being enough. He couldn’t make her happy and he was a fool to think he ever could. AJ lost the only family he’s known since he was born because Louis couldn’t help her, couldn’t do anything to stop her from leaving.

And for him to realize that she didn’t love him? Clementine, the girl he thought the world of because of how strong and confident and in-charge she was, because she saw him for who he was..... she left him, abandoned him... and she couldn’t even be bothered with a goodbye.... that says that she didn’t care all that much about him in the end.

You KNOW that he would think he had this coming, too. How could the universe allow him to fall in love and be happy with someone who loved him back after what he did to his parents? He would feel so heartbroken that he would see this as some sort of karma for breaking up his parents happy marriage as a kid years before he ever met Clementine and before the apocalypse.

I fucking can’t.... I don’t have the words to fully explain how much I hate this. Louis wouldn’t be okay afterward, and I doubt he’d ever fully recover. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned before that Louis would stop playing piano. How could he sit there and play when I he can see is their initials and remember the night she confessed to him? When he named his song after her? Clementine left and took the music with her because Louis wouldn’t have it in him... something that he used to cope would be ruined and that’s just.... it’s fucking awful.

Not only that, but now he has AJ who I assume is hurting just as much [though the comics inaccurately assume he would just let Clem go sooo... yeah] and he would be the only one Louis would really talk to about it, but then again.... what if AJ doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if AJ starts to act out and things just become terrible and Louis is just too overwhelmed?

I just.... UGH. That’s how I feel. UGH.

Clementine from the comic? Not her. She would never fucking do this to Louis, AJ, or anyone else at Ericson, and you would know that if you played the tfs.

Sigh.... sorry, I just needed to get this all out. I haven’t seen anyone talk about how Clem leaving would affect Louis and I’ve gotten some asks/come across some posts about Louis that have left me incredibly annoyed.... well, I was annoyed before because of the comics, so my annoyances with those things were only heightened. So yeah... I wanted to talk about Louis’ character in hopes of explaining why he would be so hurt if this comic was canon.

Which it’s not. So it’s fine.

How are we all feelin’ at this point, by the way? I know I’m not the only one still annoyed with the comic, so I hope y’all are doin’ okay. Hope you’re stayin’ chill and thinking about your faves to help cope with this mess hahaha

#twdg louis #twdg clementine #twdg clouis #twdg aj #twdg marlon #twdg violet #clouis #twdg #sometimes i just need to talk about louis okay #one day i'll do a full character analysis that goes over everything #but today isn't that day #long post

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twopoppies · 4 years ago

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Ok, I’m gonna ask something and I really really hope where I’m coming from translates because I know how this can look.

I’m asking this question because I often ask it to myself, and I don’t know that I have an answer to it, but I’m young and new and I see you as a fandom auntie imparting your wisdom so maybe you can help me? I’m in my head a lot, all the time.

What would it take for you to go “alright that’s it, there is no Larry/they’re not together anymore”? I know, I know this question is shady. I’ve seen it thrown around a bunch of times in the year I’ve been a fan and it always gets a snarky response (which I totally get because I don’t think it comes from a genuine place). But as I said, I keep asking it to myself and when that happens I get a little frantic. Does that make sense? Like, it kind of gives me anxiety to think about that.

I keep wondering, if 5 more years go by and Freddie is still around... how would I feel? I don’t THINK that’s gonna happen, but then again, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight and he’s already 5, so who the fuck knows, you know? Would I be a firm believer on what I believe if I saw an 8, a 10 year old kid talk about Louis as his dad? I don’t have an answer... and it scares me, because it makes me feel delusional and I know I’m not.

What would happen if Louis and Eleanor got married? Do I think it will happen? No... but I mean, I also didn’t think they’d survive this long. When I first came into the fandom everyone was saying they’d break up soon and it’s been a year. How would I cope if that happened? If they had a kid? Would I patiently wait for it to be revealed that things aren’t as they seem? Would I give up?

What if Harry and Olivia become more serious? What if they date for years and he takes her to events or talks about her? Like, I know, I KNOW he’s never done it before, but I also know that he has never called any of his stunts “my ex girlfriend” before Camille, and he even included her voice in a song... so like, do we REALLY know? He hadn’t held hands with one of his stunts since Taylor, and he’d never taken them as plus ones to anything. He seems to be actively participating a lot more than with Camille. I did my research, they were seen together far less and mostly maintained it by her going to his concerts. Idk it just seems that he was so low key with stunts in the past and instead of taking steps to maybe come out, he’s taking steps to make his relationships look more serious. He “dated” those women for a couple of months tops, now he’s stuck in long “relationships” that have to involve his family and idk it kinda sucks. What’s the guarantee they won’t take it a step further? How would I react if they did?

These things are in my head constantly and I don’t know what to think. What WOULD I do? Would I get fed up and leave the fandom, regardless of what I believed? So many people have done that but I can’t see myself not supporting H&L, they feel like such an important part of my life.

God, I’m sorry for how long this was and how annoying it must be. I guess I just need a little guidance.

Hi sugar. Wow... there’s lots going on here and I don’t think I can actually address everything you’re asking. So, let me start by saying that I don’t have a set “if this happens, I’m out” line in the sand. For me, I imagine I’ll leave when fandom is no longer fun for me, but I don’t think longevity or mutation of the stunts would necessarily be the final straw.

The thing is, for those of us who’ve been here since the band was together, we saw how different Harry and Louis’ attitude was towards their closeting. They actively fought against it. Loudly. Somewhere along the way, after the hiatus, things seem to have shifted a bit. Not that they want to be closeted, but it feels as though they might have a different perspective on it these days.

So, I guess the question could be... do they want to come out anytime soon? And I really don’t know. Louis has barely gotten his solo career off the ground. Harry is doing extremely well with his extremely frustrating fence straddling. Would coming out soon hurt their career goals? I think babygate is an entirely separate issue and regardless of anything else, that just isn’t sustainable. There’s too much that’s shady there for me to ever think he had a baby with her. And I just can’t see the family agreeing to continuously lie to their child for an open ended amount of time now that he’s really old enough to understand. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t put anything past them, but that seems insane.

So if they’re not ready to make that big change, stunts could look different than they used to. Camille staying for a year and Eleanor coming back made it possible for each of them to write an album that included songs about long term love, and allowed them to talk about it during promo with as much honesty as they wanted/were able to share. Not everything has changed for the worse.

When I try to look at the situation from their POV, and assume that they have a bit more power than they did pre-hiatus, I feel less anxious about things. But more than anything, I think what helps is to remember that this is their lives. They know what’s best for them. We might not like it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re suffering or that you’re wrong about your assumptions about them. If you’re here to support them, then I think all you can do is just support them and remove any time frames and specific expectations. If it gets in the way of your mental health, please take a break. Fandom will still be here. I have good friends who are still ride or die Larries, but they just can’t handle being here right now.

Lastly, it sounds as though asking yourself these “what would I do” questions is a form of future worrying that is actually causing you some real anxiety. There really isn’t a point in wondering how you would react to something that may never happen. It won’t keep it from happening, but it is keeping you from enjoying where you are now.

I know this got long, but I hope there’s something helpful there. 💗

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zmediaoutlet · 4 years ago

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in support of Texas relief, @claraxbarton donated $50, and requested Dean Winchester & Bucky Barnes. Thank you for donating!

to get your own personalized fic, please see this post. (no longer taking prompts)

Curfew to get back to their bunks is 2200 hours but Carlisle's still trying to prove something and so Bucky's still out, too, because hell if he's going to let some jerk from Long Island out-drink a Brooklyn boy. "Think you're gonna fall asleep soon, punk," Carlisle says, grinning wide and loose and his eyes real red, and Bucky raises his eyebrows and knocks the next shot back. He doesn't rise to the punk thing even if he wants to sock the jerk one. See, Steve, he wants to say, but of course Steve's not here. Bucky sucks the inside of his cheek, not feeling the burn anymore after this much—maybe a bad thing—but he waves to the girl leaning against the bar, signaling for another. Becky, is her name, which caused some comment from Carlisle too. She's in a too-short skirt and Bucky knows from when Carlisle got a hand on her ass that she's not too worried about keeping the hemline down, giggling as she leans over and puts the next round on the table. Carlisle pulls her in by the hand, murmuring something in her ear that Bucky can't hear over the jazz from the jukebox but that she hears perfectly well, from how she giggles and leans in, her bosom squishing up and catching Carlisle's attention just fine. Bucky sighs, sits back. Maybe the competition's over, after all. He sips at the next shot instead of downing it, actually tasting the whiskey—crap, but better than he used to be able to afford back home—and ignores how Becky's showing off the top of her stockings, the peek of white thigh above them, and looks over the top of Carlisle's head at the lawyer-type who's been sitting toward the back of the jazz club, this whole time, watching them.

Hat on the table, a beer half-sipped at his right hand. A paper pad open, at his left. Doodling something. Bucky sips at his shot again and Becky's now in Carlisle's lap, her arms around his neck. The bar's emptying out, most everyone from boot camp gone home, and Bucky's maybe got a point to prove but he's tired of this. He knocks back the rest of his shot and then reaches out and takes Carlisle's, and kicks him under the table for good measure. "Hey!" Carlisle said, distracted from sweet Becky's plump white throat, and Bucky said, "Sorry, pal, you forfeit by way of boring me to death," and gets up from the table in a scrape of the chair on the wooden floor, and Carlisle starts to stand up but of course Becky's weighing him down and she says, "Hey, slugger, you're gonna leave me all alone?" and Carlisle's distracted, soothing, long enough for Bucky to walk away, toward the back of the bar, the shot still heavy in his hand. He wants to drink it but he wants something else, too.

Jukebox, in the back. He leans over it, flipping through. Glenn Miller, Gene Autry. He wonders who put on the run of Louis Armstrong—fourth song in a row, by his count—and in the corner of his eye he can tell that the lawyer-type is watching him, from the table right there, and doing a good job of pretending he isn't.

2200 hours. Bucky checks his watch. Ticking closer. He's not the most rule-abiding guy at the best of times but he knows he's been pushing it, with his sergeant, and if he's found out to be back late again then—well, it's latrine duty for sure, if not a full ten miler with all his gear. He sucks the inside of his cheek. Worth the risk? If he's thinking of going to Europe to fistfight Hitler, then what isn't?

"Hey, pal," Bucky says, turning, with this feeling in his gut like running into a fight in a back-alley in Brooklyn—but the lawyer's up, leaving his beer half-drunk on the table, walking past him to the hall where the WCs are. Bucky licks his lips. There's a doodle left on the table, a torn-out page from the guy's pad: some weird symbol that Bucky doesn't recognize, in heavy pencil-marks, sketchy and strange. He frowns, looking over his shoulder, but the door's swinging, and he's—sure, almost. He's gotten that kind of look, before. He's given it.

The hall's empty, but there's another door at the end, frosted glass, EXIT in reversed letters, just closing. An alleyway—well, hell. Bucky's done worse in worse places but the danger of it is leaping in his throat, now. The chances that someone might see, might catch his uniform in the dark, might—but he's a real knucklehead, it turns out, and he's pushing through the door, the glass of booze still clutched in his other hand, and then: the alleyway, and whatever's waiting, and… the lawyer nowhere to be seen.

He turns around, squinting in the mostly-dark. Trash bins, and a cat racing away out toward the streetmouth. Bucky steps forward, looking—wondering if he was seeing things he wasn't meant to be seeing, wondering if his stupid heart was manufacturing things that weren't there, like always—and—there, on the other side of the wooden gate, a glow. A candle? No: a… circle, somehow drawn on the alley wall like with fire. Strange symbols that he can't make out as he gets closer. They're bright but slowly fading and he reaches out, caught by the strangeness. No heat, as his fingers hover over the coal-flames. In the center, one of the symbols looks like a star, and he licks his lips and takes a deep breath and like an absolute knucklehead presses his hand flat against it and then –

"Of course I'm—look, I'm the one who had to haul his ass into the trunk, okay? And he's heavy as hell. So, thanks for sending me out here solo, by the way."

Bucky keeps his eyes closed, trying to keep his breath even. He's waking up slow, not like from a bad dream but from a deep, long sleep, and he hasn't had one of those since before basic—since before Joe moved back into Ma's house—since before he slept over at Steve's, when they were younger and Steve's mother was at the hospital, and Steve was snoring on his half of the bed but Buck was—well, it hardly matters. His head feels queer, memories close to the surface and hurting. He's laying on something soft.

The man starts talking again: "Dude, for the last time—yes, Sam, I'm sure. You know how many History Channel docs I've watched about Cap and the Commandos? There's some kind of federal law that it's all they show at noon on a weekday. Check the insignias from the uniform, I'm telling you. This ain't a reenactor, it's the real deal. Plus there was that Thule sigil still burning on the alley wall." A pause. Bucky doesn't know the half of what this guy's talking about. Thule? What the hell is a history channel? "Yeah. Hey—look, he's—okay. Call me when you find something."

Another pause. There's a shift, fabric rustling, and then a creak of bedsprings. "You want to stop faking? You're not that good at it."

"Says you," Bucky says, but he opens his eyes.

A room, like a hotel or something. Nighttime, from the dim, and a lamp making a pool of light between the two beds. He's on one, laid out on his back, and on the other, when he turns his head: a man, older than him, sitting on the side of the mattress, watching him. Bucky presses his lips together, looking. Not the lawyer type who gave him the slip in the alley and not anyone he's ever seen. The man's looking right back at him, studying his face, and then his eyes go skipping down Bucky's body, and Bucky's still wearing his uniform but he feels—"What's a Thule sigil?" he says, to cover up his reaction, and the man's eyes jump right to his and he grins, like Bucky's some circus pet that just did a trick he didn't expect.

"I think we better start with 101," the man says. Generic accent. Where are they? "Name's Dean. I'm a hunter. Sorry for kidnapping you, but you were passed out in an alleyway and I wasn't sure the cops would know how to handle a guy from 1943 who's—uh, you." He scratches the corner of his jaw—hasn't shaved in a few days, apparently—and then shrugs, and nods at Bucky. "Your turn."

"James," Bucky says. He surprises himself and blinks at the man. Dean. "James Barnes. Probably AWOL from my unit at this point, depending on what time is." Another grin, but this one more natural, and Bucky decides he probably doesn't want to sock the guy one. He starts to sit up but his head—ah. Woozy, the world tilting some, and Dean reaches out quick and grabs his arm, helping pull him upright. It hurts but not like getting punched, or the one time a guy coshed him over the head in an alley fight and he woke up to Steve grimly holding his brains together. More like a hangover but he didn't even have that much to drink. When he's up, boots on the floor, Dean sits back and just looks at him again, all over, and Bucky looks down at himself too like maybe there'll be something interesting to see. It's just him, though, in his uniform a little worse for wear for eating dirt in the alley, but Dean keeps looking at him like…

Dean's spinning something in his hand—a metal rectangle with a shiny glass face. He sees Bucky looking and grimaces, and tucks it into his jacket pocket. "Sorry," he says, "not sure we're ready to do the whole Back to the Future II thing, here," and Bucky doesn't know what that means, either, but then Dean says, "Here's the thing: it's 2013," and Bucky blinks at him and says, "Bullshit."

Dean's eyebrows go high. "Wow," he says, under his breath, "okay, so it really wasn't like the newsreels." Bucky stares at him. "Um," Dean says, and then says, "Shit, Sammy doesn't know everything, hang on—" and he picks up something from the bedside table between them and points it, and then there's a flashbang of color and light and… a man, talking about the stock market, in brilliant color and as vivid as Dean sitting across from him. "Don’t tell your pals in the unit about Wolf Blitzer, I don't want to create a time paradox or something where someone doesn't get born," Dean's saying, but Bucky just sits and stares, frozen on the bed. It's like… a marvel, from that World Fair they went to, something that Stark genius would think up. He gets up, finally, and Dean's quiet, and he reaches out and touches the glass and it sparks against his fingers, static, against where there's a box that says February 15, 2013, 9:57 pm. "Yeah, it's an old one. A television. I can't remember if you have those yet or not."

"Who are you, pal?" Bucky says, not turning around. The light hurts his eyes, it's so bright.

Dean sighs, behind him. The sound from the television goes away and Bucky touches it again, shaking his head, and Dean says, "James Buchanan Barnes. You go by Bucky. You're from Brooklyn." Bucky looks over his shoulder and Dean's looking at him—looking older, looking tired. "You joined the service in 1943. You're in the 107th and, from what I can tell, you haven't shipped out to Europe yet, because you were in an alley in Georgia, instead, and you haven't—" He gestures vaguely to Bucky's side, eyes dipping, but Bucky doesn't know what he means, and he's got this vague panicky feeling stuttering up in his chest. Like being caught at something only this time he hasn't done anything wrong.

Dean stands up. They're the same height, same build. Dean's dressed like a farmer, in denim pants and a plaid shirt untucked, but he doesn't carry himself like one. A hunter, he said, and Bucky braces himself. Hunting what? The door's too far away for him to lunge and make it before Dean could get there.

"I'm not here to hurt you, man," Dean says. He laughs, lightly, shaking his head. "Like, that's the last thing I want to do. You're Bucky Barnes. I can't—tell you what that means, I guess, but… It means something. But you're not supposed to be here."

"Where's here?" Bucky says, tightly.

"Well, seventy years out of place, for one thing," Dean says. His mouth curls up on one side. "Though I gotta say, you're hot for an old guy."

Bucky takes a breath, while Dean grimaces. "I feel like I just hit on George Washington or something," he mutters, eyes dropping to his boots.

"Even if you add seventy, I'm not that old," Bucky says, after a second, and he can tell he's coloring up but he's not—men don't—he's never, even in alleyways and in dark rooms and in the one dance club he ever got brave enough to go to, one night when Steve was staying up with his mother and Bucky was so strained in the heart he thought he'd crack in half, he never—out loud, he never.

Dean looks up. Calculation. He's a looker. Even back in the unit among all the guys, Bucky could say that and not have anyone question it. Brownish hair, green eyes, freckles like a kid from a sodapop advertisement but he sure doesn't look like a kid. A man, carrying himself like one, his muscles obvious in the blue plaid, his hands square and sure. Bucky looks at them instead of into Dean's face. He's never sure but now he's very not and he doesn't want to—so there are Dean's hands, on his hips, and his knuckles, and his clean neat nails. Safer to focus on than the insanity of what Dean's telling him—the future, Bucky thinks, again, the world wheeling off its track, where somehow some man in some hotel in Georgia knows who he is, and says he's hot. Howard Stark's World of Tomorrow couldn't possibly.

He steps forward. Dean's hands lift, low, cautioning, and Bucky licks his lips and walks into them, lets Dean catch his hips. "Whoa, sailor," he says, and Bucky says, "I'm in the Army," and then he picks up his head and kisses Dean, square on the mouth, heart leaping into his throat.

Brief, hard. He grips Dean's shoulders and they're—oh, shocking, hot and firm and real in a way that he's turned over by, half-convinced that it's a dream, but all his dreams have been insubstantial as air, gossamer that slips away when he tries to hold it. There's a burst of air, Dean exhaling hard through his nose, but his lips are—soft, his chin scratching against Bucky's, and after a second of stupid clenched-eyed hope Dean's hand slides up his side and he readjusts his head, tilts, makes the kiss… softer, easier, and Bucky gasps in air he didn't realize he was holding onto and Dean's mouth follows his, closing over his bottom lip and sucking very softly, and Bucky thinks out of nowhere without his brain having any say-so Steve, and he pulls away then, jerking so hard that Dean says, "Whoa, whoa, buddy—" and Bucky almost hits him but turns away, puts his hands over his face, breathes out hard and quick and tries to ignore how his lips feel oversensitized, burning.

There's a strange metallic sound while Bucky's heart is trying to beat out of his throat. It cuts off mid-racket and Dean says, "Great timing, Sammy," full of sarcasm, and Bucky drags his hands down over his cheeks, covers his mouth. Turns around, to face his stupidity like a man. Dean's holding the metal thing to his ear, apparently listening, but his eyes are fixed to Bucky's. "Oh, just traumatizing a war hero," Dean says, and then his attention shifts and he rolls his eyes, holding the thing away from his ear with this expression so what are you gonna do?, like a guy from the deli taking a call from his henpecking wife, that Bucky snorts. Dean smiles at him, easy, and puts it back to his ear in time to respond, "Yeah," and then, "Got it, okay—look, text it to me, I left my pen in Kansas," and takes it away and holds it in front of himself—another whirling flash of color, a picture of some man, and then Dean pokes a red circle and it goes quiet.

"So," Dean says. "Sammy knows how we can send you back. Gotta do it by midnight but that's no big deal, I've got the stuff in the trunk. Scary adventure's gonna be over soon, soldier. You'll have to worry about the AWOL thing on your own."

He's poking at things on the rectangle again. His thumbs move very quickly. Bucky's watching his face, downturned, apparently casual, except that his ears are bright blushing red.

"War hero," Bucky says, finally.

Dean's cheek sucks in on one side and he looks up under his eyebrows. "Can we pretend I didn't say that?" he says. Bucky shakes his head and Dean bites the corner of his mouth. His mouth. Bucky looks into his eyes instead. "Yeah. Look, I can't—tell you this stuff. I don't know if they had sci-fi in the 40s but you just… can't tell people their future, okay? It's a bad idea. You might change something, or do something, and you'd screw up time, and then, I don't know, giant vampire robots might take over Manhattan as soon as I send you back."

"Vampire—?" Bucky says, bewildered, and Dean groans.

"Forget that, too," Dean says—fat chance, Bucky thinks—and Dean shakes his head, sighing. "Look, all this… time travel crap is new for me, too. Didn't even know it could really be a thing before a few years ago, and I didn't know regular people could just smear some stuff on a wall and speak some mumbo-jumbo and just make it happen. And so—we found this record that an unexplained event had happened, on this day in Georgia, and Sammy—that's who was just on the phone—he said, well, go check it out, and he's faking like he's not sick so I just let him send me out on the errand, and then it turned out to be you, and I'm… babbling, this is embarrassing, but you're you and I gotta say, whenever we were kids, Sammy was Superman and I was Batman but when we played Commandos he had to be Cap because I always wanted—"

Dean cuts off, and now the red's in his cheeks as well as his ears, even if Bucky doesn't know what goes there. "So. I'll send you back, but." He lifts a shoulder. "I wish I didn't have to."

He looks real sorry. Bucky leans back against the dresser, with the silent television flashing colors by his shoulder. He tries to imagine it. Boys in some hazy, magic-screen future, playing at being him, the way the kids in the neighborhood play being Flash Gordon. It's too big to fit into his head. He says, instead, "So… we win, then." Dean frowns. "The war. We win? If… me and the commandos and whoever the Captain is, we all get to be heroes. We must win."

Dean licks his lips, and looks… guilty, as all hell. "Yeah," he says, voice strange. "Yeah, you win."

Oppressive, to hear it. Not relief but responsibility. Bucky nods, takes a deep breath. "Well, all right, then," he says. He smiles at Dean, his very best. "Then I think the big hero deserves another kiss."

Dean startles, and laughs, and Bucky grins until Dean's head drops. He swallows. The future, settling onto his heart; the past, roaring up to meet it.

#ffcc #dean winchester #bucky barnes #my writing #-- hey i hate to be that guy but i gotta apologize #this is less a story than a collection of paragraphs #but i feel like i forgot how to write at all #this doesn't match up to the donation #but i hope it gives you some mild entertainment #imagine bucky barnes watching cnn #that could be funny at least right?

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creamcoffeelou · 3 years ago

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I’ve been tagged so many times to do a sunday snippet I’m so sorry to everyone that tags me in those and I don’t do them....but here’s one! 1960s revenge/dark plot that most likely will never get finished

Content warning: dark!au read tags!

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Clouds of smoke hung thick in the air, stagnant and stale between gusts of air from the rarely opened door. A record spun soundlessly from the left of the bar, the DJ having abandoned his booth to use the toilet only leaving the loud ruckus of the men playing pool and talking too loud from the farthest corner of the bar.

The sign on the outside of the door read gentleman’s club, but he’d heard the whispers of the men on the street that this is where men with eyes for other men found themselves in the evening. He’d heard it hushed first, stacked between whispers of sin, only until the gentleman he’d been speaking with had realized he didn’t have a wife.

“Nothing wrong with a queer, son” He’d said, “We just don’t take well to the type that leave their wives at home alone to frequent them clubs,” one of the men he’d had the conversation with had cut in from across the bar, lips cracked from the smoke of his cigarette.

He wondered how many of the men that found themselves through the seedy doors of the club did leave their wives behind to see the barely-legal boys that danced in heels and dresses on the stage.

Those hushed conversations were how he found himself at the farthest end of the bar at Crimson Rose.

“Blondie at the end of the bar bought you a drink,” The bartender said with a gravelly, long-term smoker’s voice at a break in the thumping of the music. He’d been barely there all evening, only floating around when his coke had been empty for several minutes. Louis couldn’t blame him, really. He knew drunks tipped better.

“Can you make it virgin? Charge him full price if you like, he doesn’t look the type to tip well.” That got a laugh from the man, but he just moved wordlessly to make his drink.

As soon as the glass was placed in front of him the man at the edge of the bar moved to the seat beside him. He smelled like stale cigarettes and rum. All Louis could do was smile to keep himself from turning his nose up.

“You’re not from around here.”

“I’m just passing through town.” He smiled, turning in his seat to completely face the man opposite him. “I’ll be honest, I’m not really about the small talk. Do you want to get a room tonight?”

He ran a hand through his hair and ran his tongue over his teeth, waiting.

“You’re sure?” He said next. Louis quirked an eyebrow and nodded.

“I’ll be outside. Meet me out there once you’ve paid both of our tabs.” He ran a hand down the bare skin of the man’s arm, with a playful smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”

He left, then, walking outside with quiet steps.

He stood outside for barely ten minutes before the man joined him, a hand on his hip. “Let’s go.”

He hailed a cab from the corner as the man kept a firm hand around his waist.

It was a silent ride to the hotel room, the silence filled with the empty promise of a night to remember.

Louis wasn’t sure what the other end of that night looked like. Whether the man beside him had a wife, a family, a job. He didn’t really care. Those weren’t the thoughts filling his mind as he sat beside a face that felt too familiar.

It didn’t matter, really.

The cab ride was quiet. Each of them stayed on their respective sides of the seats, silence heavy between them as the eight track cassette that the driver had restarted after it finished.

The hotel was closer than Louis thought it would have been and they made their way inside too fast.

The elevator and the room key and everything felt like a blur of moments that Louis could barely focus on. All he could bring himself to focus on was the bag that hung around his shoulder.

And yet, as soon as they were inside Louis’ mind felt hyper-focused.

Kissing the man who’s name he didn’t care to remember felt wrong.

Every part of him wanted to reject it, and yet he stayed. Let him touch him as he peeled off pieces of clothes that weren’t meant to come off.

The room he’d booked was a full suite; a living room and a bedroom. The TV was on, playing some news anchor who droned on in the background the Louis was more interested in than the lips pressed against his own.

“Let me make you a drink. Then we can go to bed.”

“Oh that’s alright –“ Tension spread through the man’s muscles all at once as he leaned forward, body following Louis’ movements as he moved from his lap to pad across the floor.

“We’re in no rush, right?” He bit his lip with a gentle smile, eyebrows raised just slightly. “We have all night, right?” He watched with wide eyes as his body language relaxed, body falling back to rest in his chair once again. Louis doubted he even realized how much he told with his movements, the story radiating off of him in full phrases as Louis watched him.

He mixed the drink with his finger as he walked, sucking the tequila off of it with hollowed cheeks as he let his eyes rake over the man in front of him. Tasteless, scentless.

Clean and easy.

He planted himself back onto his lap as he pressed the glass into his hand.

He took one drink, then two. Pausing between each to rake his eyes up and down the expanse of Louis’ exposed skin.

Minutes passed. He sipped at his own soda, watching as the redness in the cheeks of the man across him deepened.

“You remember me, right?” Louis asked, running his tongue over his teeth. The smile fell from his face as Louis wrapped the lace of his robe tighter around his body.

“What?”

“Let me give you a little reminder. I was sixteen and you were at a party with some of your,” He paused, grimacing, “Friends.”

A flash of recognition swept over his face all at once and Louis smiled with a closed mouth. It wasn’t forced for the first time throughout the entire night, and that sent some sort of twisted satisfaction up Louis’ spine.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, such a shame. Because I think you do,” Louis teased, a small smile spreading over his face.

He was certain that the man in front of him knew exactly what he was talking about, without so much as a doubt in his mind. He’d been one of the five men that had ruined his life, and he wanted nothing other than the revenge he knew he rightly deserved.

He stood there for a moment once the movements stopped.

The silence felt too loud. Deafening. Yet it quieted some of the ruckus inside of his head. Not all of it, not enough of it, but some, and that was the start that Louis knew he needed.

He ran his hands down the front of his shirt, smoothing out some of the wrinkles there. Then he took a last glance at the animal, finally in hell where he belonged, on the ground in front of him. A smile spread over his face as he walked out of the motel doors, peace resting on his shoulders instead of the burden of his past.

Morning came much too fast.

He felt rested but his eyes felt heavy as he nursed the cup of coffee that his waitress refilled graciously without nicety or small talk. He leaned himself over the counter, guarding the coffee with tired eyes and a sore body.

A body took the seat next to him and his eyes darted over. Too many rings on long fingers caught the glimmer of early morning light cast from the window, attached to pale hands.

“Whole bars open, you know.” He said first, straightening out his hunched back as he glanced over.

“You took something from me, and I’d like to know why, exactly.”

“Afraid you’ve got the wrong guy. I’m just passing through town.”

“Well ain’t that something. I could have sworn your name was Louis Tomlinson, and last night you murdered Samson Trell.”

He stiffened, back straight as he finally looked clearly at the man that sat beside him. The entire diner had cleared out, his eyes darting from table to table where he knew people had sat just minutes before. His eyes raked over him then, surveying the crisp press of his gray suit coat that matched the hat that sat on the counter just beside him.

“You writin’ a book or something, or are you gonna let me enjoy my coffee in peace?”

“I’d like it if you answered my question, actually.”

“Didn’t hear a question there.”

“Did you murder Mr. Trell?”

“No, I did not.” In his mind, it wasn’t a lie. What he did wasn’t murder – just revenge in the only form he could ever see it taking. The man beside him hummed, but he didn’t sound convinced. “You seem to know my name. Mind if I get yours?”

“I do mind, actually. Now, I’d like it if you told me the truth.” His green eyes seemed to glow brighter in the morning sunlight, flakes of brown and gold swimming in too-big irises, but they felt darker as he shifted his shoulders, revealing the gun tucked into the seam of his pants.

“You a cop?” He didn’t get an answer, instead just a lifted eyebrow and a slight frown. “I didn’t murder anybody.”

“See, now I gave you two chances,” The man said with a perfectly straight toothed smile that felt genuine yet somehow still sent a chill down Louis’ spine. “You’re gonna tell me the truth this time, or I’m going to kill you.”

A different kind of dread seeped down into Louis’ stomach at that moment, eyebrows drawing down with slightly parted lips.

“When I tell you that I did, are you going to shoot me anyway?”

“Depends on how good of an explanation you have for why.”

He grit his teeth, sighing on an exhale. “He,” A pause, “He hurt me. Three years ago. Took me this long to find him and get to him.” There was a pause between them, then. He felt the other man’s eyes raking over him, an imaginary heat radiating against his skin where he looked at him even if his gaze looked neutral. “I didn’t murder anybody. He got what was comin’ to him and if you wanna kill me for that then I don’t know what to tell you.”

Louis just looked at him, trying to hold the same intensity of his gaze even over the pounding of his heart.

“I’m not going to kill you, but it doesn’t take away the fact that you took something that belonged to me.”

“I certainly wasn’t aware that he belonged to anyone,” Louis scoffed. “I’m not sure what you’re playing at here, but why don’t you leave me be? I’m just trying to have my breakfast so I can leave town and you can forget all about me.”

“Well, darling, if I just forgave every debt I was owed, what kind of businessman would I be?”

“Do you always draw everything out so much? Can you just get to the point? Good Christ.”

“Well Mr. Tomlinson, since it seems you’d like me to be blunt, you’re going to replace Mr. Trell. You won’t be taking his job, specifically, but from now on you’ll answer to me. In return, I won’t kill you.”

“If I say no?”

“I don’t take you to be that stupid.”

“I don’t take well to being given an ultimatum.” Louis raised an eyebrow, frowning. “And you haven’t even so much as told me your name.”

“You can know my name once I know your answer.”

“Between the choices of dying and answering to you, I’ll obviously join the latter.”

He finally got a smile from the man across him who stood, replacing the hat on top of his head after setting a five-dollar bill onto the counter. He reached out a hand with confident movements and Louis found himself standing, too, motions coming before the thoughts felt solid in his head. He considered himself a master at reading people, yet he drew a blank with this man. All he could do was meet his hand and shake it, his grip firm and solid and the rings cold against his fingers.

“My name is Harry Styles. Let’s take a walk.”

#dark au #y'know...my brand #revenge murder au #insinuation of past SA #not explicitly stated but heavily implied so dont read if thatll squick/trigger you

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evermoreparker · 4 years ago

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Last Words

A/n: Hey :) so this fic has been in my head for way too long, I plan on turning this into a series, so this is the first part of my next work. Reblogs are extremely appreciated!! 💖💖 Hope you enjoy reading this!!

Warnings: major character death, grief and I think that's it?

Word count: 1.4 k

Last words are overrated, it doesn't matter what someone said to you before they passed away, what really matters is their actions when they were alive. That's something you could never forget.

For Peter they were perfect, not the usual kind of last words people wanted to hear from their loved ones, but it was the last he heard your voice.

It's funny how we never know when our life is about to turn upside down, it's funny how it's so easy to believe in love when you are just a kid, but then you grow up, and it's like they've been feeding you up with lies the whole time. And it's funny how you two hadn't the slightest idea about how your lives were about to change the moment you sat next to a cute guy at the movies.

Having just broken up with your boyfriend, you find yourself wandering the streets of Manhattan in hope of anything that doesn't remind you of love, or your ex.

The universe has a way of putting two people in the right place at the right time, and that was what happened when you chose to watch a movie with zero love, a horror one, with gruesome details, that shit it's not for everyone, at least that was what you thought.

It was a boring monday afternoon, so it was normal that there were just four people watching the movie with you, but one of them caught your attention at first sight. The butterflies in your stomach were begging you to talk to him, but you convinced yourself that love wasn't for you, not for now, at least. That's one of those stupid things you say before meeting "the one", it's like the universe telling you: "ok, now that I know you can't handle more shitty relationships, here's this person that you've been looking for your whole life."

And honestly, it was worth it. You didn't have to talk to the cute guy looking as miserable as you were because he did that for you.

"Hey" he smiled. "Having a bad day?" And if he didn't have the sweetest eyes you've ever seen, (yea I'm quoting Your Song and what about it?) you would've punched him in the face, considering that every guy in NY has a lame pick up line that they read on facebook when they were thirteen. But the cute guy seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yea, just thinking that the world hates me" you shrugged while drinking the rest of your soda.

"I get that. Sorry though, mondays fucking suck" he giggled and you could've sworn it was the sweetest sound in the world. You'd give everything to hear that noise again.

After that Peter invited you for a drink, at 4 p.m, because, well, mondays did suck and getting drunk with a hot guy couldn't go wrong. Actually, it can. But that was not the case here, since we are talking about the best listener in the world and the most talkative person on a date, just like you.

Time goes on, and it's crazy how you never know when what's about to happen next in your life. And for you, it was his proposal, first time you found out you were pregnant, the second time you found out you were pregnant... But for Peter it was all that and having to deal with the pain of losing the love of his life.

When he got your voice-mail asking to pick up your daughter from school, he would've never guessed that that was the last time he would ever hear your voice.

"Hey babe, please pick up Anna from school today. Also, Ben needs to do the dishes like he promised me he would. Oh, and before I forget, I love you so much." He could see your smile saying those three words he loved so much. "And get your socks out of our bedroom floor, seriously Peter, you are lucky you are cute."

That was the sound he replayed more than his favorite song.

The day you died he was so angry at the universe for bringing him this amazing girl and taking her away from him way too fast. But he wasn't on his own anymore, he had the two best things you had given him, and they gave him the strength to carry on. No matter how many months went by, he would always go to a quiet place and talk to you, like he knew you were there, it’s like you were everywhere he knew you loved.

"Funny how you are usually the one doing all the talking, but now it's me" He tried to laugh through his tears while sitting on your favorite bench,(well, now his too), at entral park.

"Shit, I wish we could've done so much more together. Wish you could've changed the world, like you always wanted you. Wish that we could go on road-trips with Anna and Ben." Peter says as he looks up at the sky, just wishing he had just a little more time with you. Just one more smile, one more kiss and he would feel better. At least he thought so.

"I have no idea if I sound crazy talking to the wind, but for me it's like you are always here. I don't think I've told you about why I was at the movies when we met. And you didn’t ask, not even when we started dating, because you always respected my boundaries." Peter says while trying to dry his tears that keeps blurring his vision. "It was my uncle Ben's death anniversary and it was the worst date of every year for me. I hated myself for what happened. Yeah, yeah I know it wasn't my fault’’ He says like he knew what you were gonna say if you were there. You always showed and told Peter how amazing he is, and that’s ok not to carry the world on his shoulders. ‘’But anyway, I had to stop thinking about that, horror movies did the trick for me. And there you were" he smiled while looking at the horizon imagining you were there with him. "I saw your puffy eyes and I knew I wasn't the only one having a bad day, and as you said, 'It's not a bad life, it's just a bad day', pretty sure you stole that from Louis Tomlinson but that's okay. And I had that feeling when you are on a roller coaster and the drop is about to come, but I had no fear of falling. That's what you made me feel, that’s what you still make me feel, whenever the world was cruel to me, I had you. Yes, I stole that from Queen.’’

Peter laughs knowing that you’d have loved how he quoted your favorite song, but now it was his. Basically every single thing Peter had before being with you was now yours, including his heart. And you were his. Fuck ‘Til death do us part’. You both were sure that what you had, what you still have, wouldn’t be gone so easily. It was like you two were destined to be together, maybe you still are in another life.

‘’And I miss the way you would wake me up with kisses all over my face, unless we had a fight the night before." He laughs. "You looked so cute when you were angry, I just wanted to hug you and kiss you because, fuck, how did I get so fucking lucky? And eventually I did, it was impossible to get mad at you, I blame your puppy eyes for that. That was my thing, you know? But I would let you steal anything you want from me, because we were even, you had my heart and I had yours. That was all I could possibly need." Peter says while crying even harder. "I miss you so much. We all do. And you'll always be in my heart, you know that."

Peter picked the kids from school, and it was like you never left. There were little pieces of you in Ben and Anna. For example, the way Anna always fought for what she believed was right, or your beautiful eyes in Ben and the way he had your smile. He was not alone, and he knew he could always be with you in his dreams.

#peter parker × reader #peter parker angst #peter parker × you #peter parker fluff #tom holland angst

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hockeybabe87 · 5 years ago

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4 Times You Loved Him + 1 Time He Loved You - Tyler Seguin Imagine

You laid in the plush white bedding as you looked over at Tyler still sleeping so

peacefully. This was your favorite part of whatever you’d call the relationship you had with him. You could lay there and pretend that he was yours, only yours. That’s all you ever wanted. You wanted to be his one and only and you wanted him to want you as badly as you wanted him. You were jarred out of your thoughts when he began to stir and his eyes slowly fluttered open. “Morning.” He said not noticing you had just been intently staring at him.

“Morning.” You replied as he pulled you against him.

“I should go.” You said, hoping that just once he’d challenge you and ask you to stay.

You would come over, have sex, spend the night and leave in the morning like nothing ever happened. Granted, spending the night seemed like a huge step, your apartment was on the other side of town so Tyler often just offered for you to stay.

“Yeah.” Tyler agreed as he sat up and picked up his phone off of the nightstand.

You couldn’t help but sneak a glance over at his lock screen that was littered with snapchat notifications from girls who’s names you didn’t recognize.

Trying to keep yourself composed you quickly climbed out of bed and put your clothes back on. You were just about to slip out the door...

“Hey, I’ll text you, yeah?” Tyler said as he flashed you that million dollar smile that made you feel weak in the knees.

You nodded your head before you closed the door behind you and walked to your car with tears streaming down your face. As much as he hurt you, you couldn’t deny how in love with that man you were.

You walked into the arena dressed in a tight fitting navy blue gown that showed off your

body perfectly. You felt so confident to be on Tyler’s arm at a Stars event. You had your hair and makeup professionally done and Tyler was a little more handsy than normal with you which

had you feeling like you were walking on air. Tyler had his hand pressed against the small of your back as you walked around the room at his side as he began to mingle with some important stakeholders for the team and some big name sponsors. You kept a smile plastered on your face the entire time even though your feet were starting to hurt from the shoes you picked that evening. You couldn’t want to sit down, but you wanted Tyler to see how good of a girlfriend you could be for him. You made small talk with all of the important people he was speaking to and charmed them as best as you could. Finally, Tyler led you over to the designated table that you were assigned to sit at. You smiled as you sat down next to Jamie.  “Hey, you look great.” He said as he took a sip of his cocktail.

“Thanks.” You smiled before returning your attention to Tyler. 

“I’m going to go get us drinks okay?” He asked as he pointed to the bar.

You nodded your head trusting that after all this time Tyler knew what kind of drinks you liked. You soon were pulled into a conversation with Rads and Jamie while you waited for Tyler. You were laughing at something Rads said when you glanced over the bar long enough to catch Tyler whispering into a girls ear and his hand on her hip. Your blood ran cold as you watched them interact.  

“I’m sorry.” You whispered as you excused yourself to the bathroom where you collapsed into a stall as you tried to keep your emotions in check. Leave it to Tyler to ruin the one night you had where you could at least pretend you meant something to him.

It was 2am when you heard a loud knock at the door. You slowly climbed out of bed

and opened it, revealing a disheveled Tyler. He had just returned from a long road trip that did not go well for the team. You could smell the alcohol on him already. 

“Please tell me you didn’t drive here.” You said as you gently pulled him inside. 

“Uber.” He mumbled as he stayed close to you.

After the Stars event you tried to pull back from him a little bit, needing some space to figure out why you couldn’t stop loving a man who treated you this way.

“I suck.” He whispered.

You looked into his eyes to see the pain that was so evident across his face.

“Tyler you do not suck.” You said as you laced your fingers with his. 

“How do you know?” He challenged as you led him over to the couch. 

“Because I watch all of your games. You do not suck. Are you in a rough patch? Possibly. But I promise you that you do not suck.” You said as you reached up and ran your fingers through his soft brown hair. 

“I just feel like I let the team down.” He sighed slumping his shoulders.

You shook your head.

“No Ty. You didn’t. You’re human, you’re not going to be perfect all the time.” You said trying so hard to get him out of this sad state.

“Are you hungry? I can make you something” You asked trying to take his mind off of things. Tyler nodded his head like a child causing you to giggle at how cute he looked. You quickly went into the kitchen and flashed him a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese. 

“That’s my favorite.” He said as he sat on one of the barstools watching you begin filling the pot with water. 

“I know.” You said matter of factly and he chuckled.

You spent the rest of the night doing everything you could to make him smile before you both ended up falling asleep in your bed.

You woke up to the sunlight streaming through your bedroom window. You rolled over to curl into Tyler’s warmth, but you were met with empty cold sheets. He didn’t leave you a note, didn’t text you, he didn’t even thank you for the night before. You retreated further into the blankets trying to hide from the world as you allowed that familiar feeling to rise through your chest and the tears to prick your eyes.

You were on the edge of your seat the entire game, but overtime was so much worse.

Every single time Tyler jumped on the ice your anxiety heightened. This game was the determining factor as to whether or not they were going to make it to the playoffs and you knew how bad Tyler wanted it, how bad he worked for this.

Tyler worked the puck with so much skill and intensity. He darted down the ice and through a swarm of blue jerseys as he approached the net and took a slap shot. The puck slid off of his stick and right past the St Louis goalie and hit the back of the net.

You jumped out of your seat immediately and couldn’t help the scream that flew out of your mouth as you jumped up and down cheering for Tyler. Nothing could wipe the smile off of your face as you made your way down to locker room. You waited in the hallway with the rest of the family and friends that were there to support their boys. You started to glance around the room and realized how happy everyone was, you realized how happy you were for Tyler. After everything he put you through, you couldn’t stop the love for him that bubbled up in your heart every time you saw him. You realized if you didn’t tell him how you really felt that you were going to burst. Things had been a little better with him lately, he was texting you more frequently and giving you more attention than you were used to. Plus, you were there for him during this huge moment in his life, that had to count for something right?

You leaned against the wall as you pulled out your phone to scroll through instagram as you waited for Tyler to come out. Your were pulled away from all social media when you heard his loud voice as he cheered walking out of the locker room into the hallway. You quickly put your phone into your pocket as you began to walk towards him. However, before you could quite get to him a blonde bombshell rushed past you and jumped into his arms. 

“You came!” He announced as he wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

You felt your heart shatter as you watched her press her lips to his. You knew Tyler talked to other girls, but this was the first time you actually saw him kiss another girl with your own two eyes.

Tyler set the girl down and walked over to you and smiled. 

“Y/N, this is Kate.” He said as he introduced you. 

You plastered a fake smile on your face as you spoke with her briefly. 

“Are you coming out with all of us?” He asked. 

You felt like you were going to fall apart right there in front of the entire Dallas Stars organization. 

“Uhm, no. I have some things to do. I’ll talk to you later.” You said as you quickly rushed past him and out the side door hurrying to your car.

You sat in the drivers seat and leaned your forehead against the steering wheel as you felt your heart break into pieces. You looked like a mess, but you didn’t care. You were so sick and tired of being EVERYTHING for someone who had absolutely no respect for you. You kept hoping that maybe Tyler would wise up and realize how much you cared for him and how great things could be, but it’s like as time went on he got further and further from that realization. You stayed in the car crying for a few minutes when suddenly you felt a tap against your window.  

“Go away Tyler.” You said not even looking up. 

“It’s me.” The man said from the other side of the glass loud enough for you to hear.

You peeled your eyes up and met the soft gaze of Jamie Benn. He looked so concerned as he took in your flustered appearance. 

“I saw what happened...I just wanted to see if you were okay.” He said after you rolled the window down.

“Not really.” You scoffed trying to wipe away the tears that were staining your cheeks and ruining your makeup. 

Jamie opened your car door and grabbed your hand gently pulling you from the seat.

“Let me drive you home, you can’t drive like this.” He said as he walked you around to the passenger side.  

You were too hurt and weak to argue so you just went along with it. You cried the whole way home dreaming about a boy with curly brown hair and a mess of tattoos littering his skin.

One of the WAGS ripped into Tyler at the bar that night. Telling him how awful of a person he was for treating you the way that he did. He of course didn’t believe them, thinking that the relationship he had with you was just what he thought...casual. There weren’t any real feelings there.

That was until game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Stars had done it. The Dallas Stars won the Stanley Cup. Tyler was drinking like a monster celebrating the accomplishment with his closest friends and family, but something was missing. As he took in the sea of people in Dallas Stars Stanely Cup Champions shirts, he realized that it was you that was missing.

After that night he introduced you to Kate, you shut him out. You wouldn’t answer his texts or his calls. You quit going to his games. You didn’t want anything to do with him.

He ended things with Kate shortly after that night. He realized she didn’t care about him, she cared about the status of being with him.

Tyler tried to suppress the burning feeling he felt in his chest all night. He lost track of how many people asked where you were. He hadn’t realized how much of an extension of himself you had been until you were gone. This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments of his life, he was a 2x Stanley Cup champion, but all he could think about was you. Part of him wanting to be mad at you in some sort of fucked up way for taking this moment from him, but he knew he was to blame. He knew that he drove you away. He sat down in an empty booth at the bar as he scrolled through the photos on his phone. He found one from the Dallas Stars

event he brought you to a few months back. One of the girls insisted that they take a photo of the two of you. You hadn’t really looked at them until right now. He remembered how beautiful you looked that night, did he even tell you how gorgeous you looked? As he scrolled through the photos, he found a candid one that made his heart drop. He was smiling at something one of the guys had said out of the camera shot, but you were staring at him with this wide smile on your face. Your face was full of so much love for him...you loved him.

“Fuck.” He muttered as he locked his phone.

He couldn’t stop his actions as he ran out of the bar and into an Uber to your apartment. He climbed the steps two at a time to get to you as fast as he could. He reached your door and took a deep breath and knocked before running his fingers through his hair.

After a few moments the door cracked open and you stood there in just an oversized tee shirt. “Tyler?” You questioned as the shock of him being in front of you surged through you.

It took Tyler a few moments to realize you were wearing a Dallas Stars Stanley Cup shirt.  “Where did you even get that so fast?” He chuckled as he tried to walk into your apartment. However, he stopped cold when he saw the figure behind you. A shirtless Jamie Benn stood behind you with a protective hand on your waist.

“What is he doing here?” Tyler asked.

You looked back at Jamie, this was not the way you wanted this go to. Jamie could sense you were uneasy and felt the need to take over the conversation.

“We’re together Tyler.” He said as he pulled you closer to him.

“What? No! You’re with Jamie? You’re fucking my best friend?” Tyler asked as the reality set in. You let out a deep sigh that you didn’t realize you were even holding in.

“We didn’t want to tell you this way...” You whispered.

Tyler shook his head, trying to push all of this out of his mind. The girl he was hopelessly in love with was dating his best friend.

“Y/N....I love you baby.” He whispered as he took a step towards you.

Instinctively, you stepped closer to Jamie. Not wanting Tyler to even touch you. Jamie’s jaw clenched as he heard Tyler’s words.

“You need to leave.” Jamie said, trying to remain calm.

“I’m not leaving without my girl.” Tyler said, not taking his eyes off of you.

You couldn’t help it as the tears welled up in your eyes and the anger coursed through your veins.

“You know what Tyler? No. You do need to leave. I was in love with you for YEARS and you treated me like absolute shit. You took advantage of me, you used me and you didn’t even have enough respect to not embarrass me in front of all of our friends at your game. I was miserable when I was hung up on you, but then Jamie came into my life and showed me what it felt like to have someone care as much about me as I did them. You never once showed me even an ounce of compassion, meanwhile I was giving you my heart and soul. This is done Tyler, we’re done.” You shouted in his face before turning and walking down the hall towards your bedroom and slamming the door.

Jamie stayed fierce as he stared Tyler down, unsure of what his next move was going to be. Tyler took in your words and every one felt like a knife going through his chest and twisting causing so much pain. He blinked back a few tears and took a deep breath before he looked at Jamie again.

“Just take care of her.” Tyler said before turning around and leaving.

Jamie found you on the bed crying. He quickly scooped you up in his arms. 

“Shh, it’s okay.” He whispered kissing your temple.

You clutched onto him as you waited for your emotions to subside. 

“I love you.” You whispered as you kissed Jamie’s chest.

“I love you too, more than you could ever know.” He said as he laid down in bed, draping you across his chest where he could keep his hands on you and know you were safe.

#tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin #dallas stars imagine #dallas stars #jamie benn #jamie benn imagine #4 times #hockey writing #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl

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anythingandeverything1d · 4 years ago

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The tape (part 8)

Parts 1-7

Harry’s pov:

He didn’t know how long it had been. He had dozed off, his cheek resting against the back of her hand while waiting for her to wake up. He lifted his head and looked around, the curtains had been pulled closed and the lights dimmed. (y/n) was still laying perfectly still, her eyes closed as if she were sleeping. A massive black bruise was forming under her left eye and some scratches were noticeable on her cheek. He gently brushed his fingers across her cheek, wishing he could stop the pain he knew she would feel. “You must be Mr. Styles.” Harry jumped, his hands falling to his lap and his body shifting to the door. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Dr. Ren, I’ve been following (y/n)’s case since she arrived.”

Harry stood up, extending his hand with a deep exhale. “Yes, hi, I’m Harry. Is she....is she okay?” Harry bit down on his lip. This was the moment he had been waiting for and yet he wasn't ready. He didn’t want the doctor to tell him that she wasn’t okay...that she wouldn’t wake up....that he wouldn’t be able to see her smile, or hear her laugh anymore. He could never tell her how much he loved her, or how he had been planning on proposing, the exact way she had dreamed of for so many years. He would never get to see her in a wedding dress...or pregnant...

The doctor smiled and nodded, pulling Harry from his thoughts. “She is okay. We had to administer some anesthesia to get some x-rays and scans. She has two fractured ribs, some bruising, a mild concussion, and needed a few stitches, but overall she is very very lucky. She should wake up here within the next hour or so. We will keep her overnight just to observe all of the injuries but in the morning she will be free to go as long as everything remains the same. Again, she is very very lucky. I’m not sure how she’s alive at all honestly but out of all the people involved in that accident she is by far the one with the least amount of injuries.”

Harry couldn’t help it, he dropped to his knees, tears flowing from his cheeks, his eyes looking up at the doctor. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” He would be able to see her smile, hear her laugh, hold her hand, propose...

“No problem.” Dr. Ren smiled and helped Harry up. “When she wakes up, have a nurse buzz me. Otherwise, breathe and relax. She will be just fine.” He placed a hand on his shoulder before turning and walking out.

Harry nodded and returned to his seat, a small smile playing on his lips for the first time since all of this had started. He grabbed her hand again, pulling it to his lips in relief. All that mattered was that she was okay. She was going to wake up, she was going to be bruised, but she was alive. Harry grabbed his phone, sending a quick update to the guys who were apparently still waiting in the parking lot.

He sat by the bed, waiting, watching, and hoping for a sign of movement showing she would wake up. He quietly started singing, hoping his voice would pull her form the deep sleep. A knock at the door interrupted the second verse of Watermelon Sugar. Louis, Liam, and Niall walked in. Louis was holding a giant bear, Liam some candy, and Niall flowers. Harry smiled sadly and nodded for them to come in. They all gathered around, not saying anything but taking the moment in. “She’s going to be okay.” Harry’s voice broke. He couldn’t hold back the feelings anymore, not with the guys he called brothers standing there with him.

“See...” Louis tried to think of a smart comeback but was quickly silenced, unsure of what to say.

“When will she wake up?” Niall asked anxiously. There were things he needed to say...things he needed to apologize for.

“The doctor said in the next hour she should be up....but I don’t know.”

“I’m sure she will wake up soon. Doctors know far more than any of us do.” Liam was the voice of reason, but even today he seemed shaken, worried for the girl even he had grown to love over the last 7 years.

“Do you remember when we met her?” Louis suddenly voiced up. He was staring at her with a smile but looked around at everyone. “Harry had said a friend of his was coming and we all expected a guy...but then walked (y/n).” Louis laughed. “Harry you said the two of you were just friends.”

“We were! Kind of...” Harry smiled, picturing that day. (y/n) had walked in wearing shorts and an oversized hoodie and something about it just made his knees go weak.

“She fit in so well with everyone. Everyone instantly loved her.” Liam recalled. “I mean she could fit in with our crazy asses.”

“Niall, you tried flirting with her for WEEKS after that first visit.”

“Harry said they were just friends!” He laughed defensively. “She was beautiful...she was funny....I mean what was there not to love?”

“When did you and her start dating Harry? Like officially....” Liam turned to Harry and Harry smiled.

“The following day. She watched our concert that night...we had back to back shows at the O2.. after the first one we just hung out and talked. I knew then she was the one. The next night I attempted to take her to dinner but that didn’t work...so we ended up eating crackers backstage and talking about everything and anything.” Harry smiled and looked over. “She was always the one...”

“She always kept up with our antics that’s for sure. I remember on the first night she had challenged me...she said that Beckham was a better player...she was wrong of course but I respected her confidence. ” Louis nodded. “It’s crazy to think we are here with her now....all of what happened with the band and we are still here and she’s still at the center of our lives. She’s all of our best friends...”

The guys all nodded and Harry wiped a tear. “I was going to propose to her.” The guys looked up, surprised but also not. “Before the tape came out...I had it planned for that weekend..I was going to take her to dinner, and then to O2...I had recreated the first date we went on...and then I was going to propose in the park we had ended up going to after. I had someone decorate it with lights and everything...I had a photographer ready.” Harry smiled and then shook his head. “And then everything happened.”

“You’ll get your chance again...” Liam stated, sure of himself.

“Yeah, we all know that you two will work things out..” Niall nodded.

“You’re all so confident.” Harry laughed. “I’m not even sure I’ll get her to come home with me.”

“She loves you.” Niall looked at Harry and smiled. “She will either end up with you or with like 20 cats.”

Louis laughed and nodded. “Haven’t you ever wondered why she stuck with us? Instead of going to her girlfriends or family. Harry she wanted you to pull yourself together. She wanted you to make things right. And clearly you did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well she went home with you didn’t she?”

“Yeah but-”

Louis pulled out his phone and read, “no, don't need you to get me...things seem to be...better. If I need anything I’ll call but pretty sure I’ll be okay from here. xo”

“What’s that?” Liam laughed.

“That was the text (y/n) sent to me the morning after she returned home. She wouldn’t have said those things if you had continued to screw up Harry....She wouldn’t have stayed or planned to stay.”

“I just hope I can take her home...get things somewhat back to normal.”

“They will go back to normal...just hang in there.” Liam nodded and everyone looked back over at you. “We should go though...the nurse gave us limited hours before calling security or worse tweeting...”

Harry nodded and they all asked for updates as things happened. Harry had promised to call when she actually woke up so that they could again come in and see how she was doing. Once they had left, he settled back into the chair, closing his eyes briefly to reflect on everything. It hadn’t been too long, maybe 5 minutes but his eyes were still closed, causing him to miss the blink of her eye. “Haz...”

Harry’s head whipped up, the phone falling to the floor, and tears instantly falling down his cheeks as his heart skipped beats and his chest tightened. Haz.... the nickname he had come to love throughout their relationship. The nickname he hadn’t heard in what felt like forever. “I’m here....babe....” Harry choked the words out, squeezing her hand a little tighter as the sobs echoed through his chest. He watched her eyes blink a few times, confused at her surroundings, but relax when they fell on him. Her beautiful eyes, the ones that held so much love, so much laughter. He had never been happier.

“What...what happened?” She tried sitting up and Harry gently held her down.

“Shh...baby it’s okay...I’m here....there was an accident...I need to get the doctor now, but I’ll be right back okay?”

Tears were collecting in her eyes as the realization of the situation hit. “No. Don’t leave me. Don’t go please.. Please Harry don’t leave...don’t-”

“Shhh...” Harry placed a kiss on her nose and wiped away the tears falling on her cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here okay? You’re okay. You’re safe.”

She was gasping for air when the crying started. “I...I was trying to get my phone...the car...it it came out of nowhere-”

“I know...it’s okay love. Let me just get the doctor okay? Then I’ll be right back and I won’t leave again.”

She nodded, watching him rush into the hallway to where the nurse’s station was.

Your pov:

Everything hurt. You’re body felt like it had been thrown off a 3 story building. You couldn’t really move too much without a sharp stabbing sensation in your chest. You also had a swollen lip, something you were typically used to when dating Harry but not in this way. The taste of blood was on your lips and your heart was beating a mile a minute. Harry had stepped out, but you were afraid he wouldn’t come back. You were afraid you wouldn’t see him again. You felt more tears fall down your cheeks and sucked in a breath. What if he didn’t come back...what if he had found out about Niall and everything that had occurred. What if he hated you the way you had hated him when you found out about the sex tape.q

“Babe....” Harry rushed back to the seat by the bed and frowned. “What’s wrong? What hurts?”

“I kissed Niall.” you cried. Harry looked taken back but then smiled and laughed lightly. “It’s not funny. I cheated on you and and “

“I know.” “What?”

“Niall told me what happened.”

“But-”

“It’s fine. I’m not worried about that. I’m more worried about you right now.”

“But-”

“(y/n)..I thought you were dead. I mean hell, you were in a serious car accident and your worried about something Niall did? I could care less about any of that shit right now. I just want you. I want to make sure you are okay...”

“You do?”

Harry laughed and pressed his lips lightly to yours. “Yes.” He breathed out a sigh of relief and touched his forehead to yours, his eyes closing until the doctor walked in. “You and your health are the only thing I even am remotely focused on right now. Okay? I love you.”

“I love you too.” You let out a shaky breath and smiled.

“Ah there she is. How are you feeling?” The doctor walked in the room with a smile.

“Okay..”

“Well that’s better than expected.” He smiled and Harry looked annoyed but you kept your focus on the doctor. “You have two fractured ribs, a slight concussion, and needed some stitches along your leg. Do you remember much of what happened?”

You shook your head no and held tightly to Harry’s hand. You didn’t really care to remember anything to be honest. “Just bits and pieces...”

“What does the recovery for those things look like?” Harry was nervously tapping his foot on the floor while looking back and forth from you and the doctor.

“Restricted activity, taking things easy, really resting as much as possible. The ribs will take the longest but they are something that will heal on their own. No working out, lifting too much weight, no sex.” He raised an eyebrow at Harry and you felt your cheeks blush in response.

“Got it.” Harry nodded and tried to give you a reassuring smile. “We can do that.”

“Yeah right, that seems highly unlikely for the two of them.” Louis walked into the room with a smile. “Looking good there love, better than you do most mornings.” Harry glared at him but you smiled, grateful he was also here.

“Who are you?” The doctor asked confused.

“Oh, sorry about that yeah, hi, I’m Louis. Louis Tomlinson.” Louis shook his hand before turning his focus back to you. “You had us all in quite the panic ya know?”

“Enough Lou.” Harry nudged him and gave you a smile.

Liam and Niall came running in as well, smiles on their face when they saw you awake and alert. “Sorry, we were planning on leaving but it seems the nurse tweeted out we were here so there’s quite a gathering downstairs...”

“Ahh...” was Harry’s only answer.

“Well, seems you have enough people here to keep you company. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask...I’ll check in later.”

“Thanks...” you mumbled watching him leave before focusing on the four boys gathered around your bed.

“So what did we miss?” Liam asked, sitting on the edge of Harry’s chair.

“They can’y have sex until her ribs heal.” Louis laughed.

“Oof, that’s rough mate, sorry.” Liam laughs and claps Harry on the shoulder.

“Shut up.” Harry shook his head and looked over at you. You were laughing at the banter, but stop and whine as the movement hurts. “Are you okay? What do you need?” Harry rushed over and was trying to assess where the pain was coming from.

Harry was always like this when something happened. It wasn’t necessarily clingy, but it was over caring and maybe a little smothering sometimes. You wouldn't complain about it though, you loved the attention and that he cared enough to be that way. You shake your head, “no, just a little sore.” You look at the unconvinced looks of Louis, Liam, and Niall and give a fake smile. “I swear. I’m fine.”

Harry’s pained expression on his face was all the confirmation you needed. Doctor Harry would not be leaving your side. “Can I have a minute....with (y/n)...” Niall interrupted your thoughts and steeped forward with a hand in his hair.

Harry looked irritated. Louis and Liam raised an eyebrow but said nothing as they stepped through the door giving their answer. Harry looked down at you, not wanting to leave. You gave him a small smile and nod, telling him that you needed the moment with Niall just as much as he had needed the moment with you earlier. Harry sighed, his head ducking to your lips. The kiss wasn’t a quick peck. It was one of possession. His eyes tore into Niall as he pulled away, placing one more light kiss on the tip of your nose. You gave him another reassuring smile and watched him walk out, the door closing as he left. You looked over at Niall, your heart racing a little more just thinking of the events that occurred before the accident. “Niall...”

“No...listen. I’m so sorry. I never should've yelled at ya like that. I should never of kissed ya. I was so out of line and so drunk that I-”

“Niall.” You stopped him, giving him a smile while shaking your head. “I don’t blame you...I mean we were both upset. I was upset. It’s all water under a bridge now. Really. The whole thing, I was thinking about it....I get it now. I mean what you did was wrong, but you did it out of a place of love and I can’t blame you for that. I appreciate you looking out for me, next time just be straight up and don’t involve the press.”

Niall wiped a tear from his eye and sat down. “I did it for myself, not for you. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have done Harry like that....I should of known it would hurt you more than it did him. I never should've put my friendship with either of you in jeopardy like that. I’m sorry for it. I really am. I’m sorry you ended up here too I mean-”

“Niall that wasn’t your fault. You can’t take the blame for that.”

“But-”

“No. Seriously. Harry can’t either. Hell, not even I can. It happened. I’m okay....a little sore.....but okay. Plus I’ve got all my boys here with me.” You grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, can’t believe they let us all in here.” Niall laughed.

“Yeah how did you manage that...”

“Well....Louis may a promised the nurse a picture with Harry.....and he also may a promised her a kiss....”

You raised an eyebrow and frowned. “Did he now? Clearly I have some things to take up with Louis...”

“I wouldn’t be too worried.” Niall laughed. “Harry won’t even look at another girl besides you, let alone kiss one.”

You gave him a small smile. “I don’t know about that...”

“I do.” Niall nodded. “Harry loves you more than he loves anything....well maybe not his mom but ya know...anything that would relatively hurt you, or make you feel a certain way....especially after the tape...there’s no way.”

You were about to agree but Harry’s soft knock came to the door. He frowned at your hand holding Nialls but looked at you for permission to come in. You nodded and he walked over, still keeping his distance. He cleared his throat and smiled softly. “Sorry to interrupt...the doctor is bringing in some pain meds-”

“I don’t-”

“I know but you do....(y/n) you’re in pain....” You opened your mouth to argue the point but he gave you a look and you knew there was no point in arguing...and he was right...the longer you had been awake, the more pain you had been in.

The nurse walked in with a smile, “Dr. Ren is going to go ahead and give you something for the pain. It does tend to make people sleepy, or even a little loopy sometimes okay?.”

You nodded and watched as she added the mix to the IV. “Thank you.”

Harry wandered over to the side of the bed, smiling as he looked between you and Niall. “So...are you two-”

“We are good. Right?” you looked at Niall with a smile.

He nodded, “Of course. Harry...I know I’ve said it already but-”

“We are fine. Seriously. Youre my brother...you know I couldn’t stay mad at you for too long.” Harry walked over and placed an arm around Niall’s shoulder. “But...” He punched Niall’s arm hard, “don’t ever kiss my girl again.”

Niall laughed and you giggled. “Lesson learned.”

Liam and Louis walked in with smiles as well. “Lou” you giggled more. The pain meds were definitely settling into your system.

“What can I do for ya love?” He raised an eyebrow and wandered over to your bed.

“I hear you promised some girl a kiss from my boyfriend...” Harry looked up, shocked, not at the fact Louis had promised that but that you had used the word “boyfriend.”

Louis grinned and looked at Harry who glared back, clearly unaware of this arrangement. “Yeah, yeah I did. Had to get in here some way ya know. Didn’t want to miss out on any opportunities to remind you how horrible you are at picking football teams.”

“Ha that’s what you think...” you giggled.

“Hate to break it to ya but your team lost love and-”

“What the hell Louis?” Harry cut in. “Why would you-”

“Now now now...clearly none of you pay attention but the nurse who wanted the kiss was almost done with her shift...she’s probably not even here now.”

“Still...don’t you think that’s something you should've run by someone beforehand?”

“Oh I did. Liam and Niall were in full support.” Liam looked down and Niall laughed at the death glares Harry was giving. You giggled as well, earning surprised laughs from everyone.

“You guys are terrible.” You laughed.

“How are those pain meds feeling love?” Louis asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I feel.....great” you smiled, biting your lip and glancing at Harry. His hair was falling down across his face, his eyes bright green and the tattoos spilling out from under the white t-shirt he was wearing. One of your favorite looks...besides the puffy eyes from crying. You yawned, and blinked a few times refocusing your attention on the guys.

“You look a little tired...” Liam noted.

“No I’m just-” You yawned again.

“Just tired.” Louis finished with a grin.

“Maybe a little...” you smiled and looked at Harry who who was staring at you.

“I think a nap might be a good idea.” Harry smiled and brushed the hair back from your face.

“I just woke up though and you-” You yawned again. “you’re all here...”

“We’ll be here when you wake up love. Why don’t we run and get a snack and then when you wake back up we can all hang out again.” Louis smiled and you nodded looking at Harry again...you didn’t want him to leave.

“I-I don’t want to be alone..”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Harry smiled and kissed your forehead nodding to the rest of the group. “I’ll let you know when she's awake.” They nodded, telling you to sleep well and then left. Harry closed the door and placed another blanket on you as you shivered.

“H?” You yawned again.

“Yeah?” He was holding your hand again.

“Will you snuggle?” You scooted over making room for him. He shook his head but you added an extra, “please?”

“I don’t want to hurt you...” He looked at all the wires and sensors on your body and shook his head.

“I just....” you felt tears form in your eyes. “I just need to know you’re here.”

Harry sighed, wiping your tears and carefully climbing in bed. “You okay?” he asked as he settled his arm around you.

“Mhm..” you nodded, snuggling your face into his chest and feeling safe for the first time since being awake. “Thank you for being here...”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else... now close your eyes...” Harry hummed and the sound of his heart slowly beating allowed you to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

When you woke up, the sun was just beginning to rise. The orange color sky lighting up the room. You looked around, taking in your surroundings and remembering everything that had happened. What did confuse you was the lack of bodies in your room. Harry was no longer in bed, the guys were all missing.... “Good morning.” You smiled as Dr. Ren walked in holding his charts for your progression. “How are we feeling today?”

“Much better.” You smiled. “Still kind of sore but-”

“That will probably continue for a few weeks.” He grinned. “Good thing is that you look good, your vitals are all steady...there don’t seem to be concerns with how things are progressing at all. You’re good to leave. I’ll have my nurse fill out your discharge papers unless you have other concerns.”

You shook your head and smiled. “I’m ready to go home..”

“I bet.” He did a double check of injuries and then walked back towards the door. “Good luck at home...I’ll see you back in a few weeks for an evaluation on injuries okay?”

“Okay. Thanks again Dr. Ren.”

“Anytime.” He walked back out and you let out a sigh. You were ready to go home...to get out of this bed...to get back to reality. The reality that may be a little messy but was still better than the hospital.

“Morning love.” Louis walked in with a smile and a muffin. “Thought you might be hungry.”

You nodded and smiled, taking the muffin from him and stuffing a bite in your mouth. “WheresfHarry?” you asked through a mouthful of food.

Louis raised an eyebrow and laughed, “Sorry I don’t speak muffin.”

You rolled your eyes and swallowed. “Where’s Harry?”

“Ah...yes...about him. He left.”

“What?” Your heart sped up and your mind clouded. Why would he leave? He promised he wouldn’t...

“He had a last minute meeting with management.”

“Oh.” Your heart dropped and you chewed your bottom lip. Management again. You would’ve thought you were more important seeing as you were in the hospital.

“He asked me to come check on you and make sure you got home okay.”

“Oh.”

“Now now cheer up. You get to go home.”

“Yeah.” You smiled and Louis gave you the look.

“You know he wanted to be here.”

“But he’s not.”

“I know....” Louis knew what you meant. He also knew why Harry had to go. It was that fine line of being in the spotlight and trying to have a normal relationship.

You stayed silent eating your muffin and Louis didn’t interrupt. He knew there was nothing to say that could help. The nurse came in with discharge papers and handed you a bag with your belongings. Unfortunately your clothes had been ruined, covered in dirt and blood. Niall had left his hoodie though from the previous night which is what you had resorted to changing into along with your shorts which didn’t seem too bad..

Louis helped you out of bed and helped you maneuver the hoodie over your arms without completely feeling the pain in your ribs and the two of you walked out. Paparazzi had gotten word of the boys location so Louis fought through the crowds of cameras, one arm protectively wrapped around your shoulders until you made it into the car. The ride home was silent, you were wrapped up in your thoughts and Louis didn’t want to bother you. “Where are we going?” you suddenly sat up straighter, Louis had missed the turn to his house.

“Aren’t I taking you home?”

“Oh...yeah.”

“I can take you to my place if you’d rather...”

“No...no...home is good.”

“You’re sure?” He looked over unconvinced but you nodded and smiled giving him some sort of reassurance.

He pulled into your driveway and Harry was standing on the porch waiting. You smiled, grateful you wouldn’t be left alone in the house immediately. You climbed out and Harry walked over, pulling you into a gentle but firm hug. “Welcome home babe.” he whispered, his lips pressing against your ear. You looked up and smiled but didn’t say anything, still a little upset he hadn’t been there to take you home. You shook your head and tried to push the thought out of your mind. At least he was here now. Harry didn’t seem to notice your silence but he was staring at the outfit you had changed into. “Why are you in this?” You could hear the jealousy in his voice even though he had no reason to have it.

“I didn’t have clothes there...Niall left it so I took it.” you shrugged.

“You could’ve called me. I would’ve brought you something.”

“Is it that big of a deal?” You looked into his eyes and shrugged. “No but-”

“You know if you had been there you could’ve given me something else but you weren't there were you.” You walked past him towards the door, ignoring the surprised look from Louis. “Babe I had-”

“I know. Management. Always more important..it’s fine.” You wandered in and Harry sighed, running to keep up with you.

“It’s not that they are more important....it’s just”

“That they are. Harry you always let them come between us.” You wiped a tear you didn’t even realize had begun to fall. “I needed you there. You promised you wouldn’t leave and you did.” You knew you were being a little unreasonable but you were still upset.

“I’m sorry I-”

“Whatever it’s fine. I’m going to shower.”

“(y/n) wait.” Harry grabbed your elbow but you shook free of his grip. “Babe...”

“Not now Harry.”

----

Part 8 finally....this was hard to write I’m not sure why but It was kind of a killer.... I do know where the two final parts are going though so stay tuned!

xoxo

#one direction #one direction fanfiction #directioners #one direction imagines #Harry Styles #harrystyles #Harry Syles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #louis tomlinson #louis tomlinson fanfiction #Niall Horan #niall horan fanfiction #liam payne #liam payne fanfiction #the tape

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allsassnoclass · 4 years ago

Note

how about “i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside” for muke? xx

Here you are my darling I hope you enjoy it!

Ficmas Day 6

Rating: teen and up

Read on AO3

Michael is woken up at ten in the morning by Mariah Carey passionately singing about what she wants for Christmas, accompanied by a voice that Michael has become unfortunately accustomed to within the past four months. He groans and flops over, pulling his pillow over his head and hoping for the thousandth time that his neighbor might suddenly lose his voice, or at least lose the ability to blast music when Michael is still trying to sleep. He’s coming off of the night shift and it’s Christmas Eve. He should be allowed to actually sleep.

The pillow doesn’t help, so he slaps his hand against the wall as loudly as he can. That doesn’t seem to help either, and Luke keeps hitting high notes that would be really impressive if Michael wasn’t currently plotting his murder.

Plotting Luke Hemming’s murder is something that Michael does frequently. He’s never immediately disliked someone so quickly, but Luke is not only a professional at waking him up during what little sleep Michael is trying to get, but he has managed to set off the fire alarm with his cooking failures three times already, he sometimes keeps a bike in the hall that Michael almost always manages to run into no matter where it is, and when he watches TV it’s always bad reality programs at top volume. His mail continuously somehow ends up in Michael’s slot, and he never says “thank you” when Michael gives it to him. He has an endless trail of people tramping in and out of his apartment at all hours, but Calum said he got passive-aggressive about buzzing him up when Michael was still in the shower, despite them having met in the lobby multiple times and Luke knowing that Calum is Michael’s emergency contact.

When Michael ran into him during his move-in and said hi, Luke’s dog had growled at him.

Dogs love Michael.

Despite his cherubic blonde curls and dreamy blue eyes, Luke Hemmings might be the devil. This was only confirmed when he started playing Christmas music and decorating his door the day after Halloween.

Michal isn’t a grinch. He likes Christmas as much as the next person who grew up celebrating it, but he likes when it’s confined to the proper month. There’s something to be said about the feel-good movies and lights twinkling against the snow at night, but he works overnights at a 24 hour grocery store, and at this point Christmas music makes him want to claw his ears off. Luke doesn’t seem to listen to anything else, and he has a wreath and line of jingle bells on his door. Michael doesn’t even want to see what the inside of his apartment looks like.

His one solace is that today Luke is catching a plane to go back to his parents’ house. Their bedrooms share a wall, and Michael has heard him making plans to load up Petunia and spend Christmas at his childhood home. Michael is not so lucky, confined to his apartment for the holiday.

He’s not sure what his plans are yet. He’s trying not to be too sad about it, but it’s difficult when everyone under the sun is getting to spend it with family and he’s going in for a night shift.

The song on the other side of the wall switches to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” Michael tries to block out Luke’s self-dueting and viciously stamps down the jealousy bubbling in his gut.

-/-

Luke finally leaves the apartment at 2 pm. Michael hears him cooing to his dog and the jangle of keys as he locks up, and then the apartment is blessedly silent. He lays in bed for an hour scrolling through his phone, but eventually seeing everyone’s messages about the holiday and seeing their families becomes too much and he gets up, making his way to the shower. The apartment is colder than usual, and when he looks out the window he only sees a mass of white, swirling too fast to make out individual flakes. Chicago seems to be living up to its nickname. Maybe it’s a good thing that he doesn’t have to drive far to get to work tomorrow. He bundles up in his coziest sweatshirt and sweatpants and his favorite pair of fuzzy socks, anyway.

Michael is getting something to eat when he hears Luke’s voice again, still talking to his dog. It’s clearly coming from the hallway, and Michael frowns when something thumps, followed by Luke apologizing. He leaves the plate with his half eaten toast on the counter and presses his ear to the door, trying to make the words take distinct shape.

“... know, girl, but we’re almost back,” Luke says. “Then we’ll… I don’t know. We’ll figure something else out, right? Fuck, where are my fucking keys?” Something else hits the floor. Luke sniffs.

“Fuck,” he says, but it’s small and fragile. Michael hasn’t heard Luke sound defeated before now, and he doesn’t think he ever wants to hear it again. To know that someone who typically is annoyingly joyful is unable to keep up that demeanor outside the privacy of his own home makes Michael’s heart break a little.

Maybe that’s why he opens the door. Michael doesn’t know; if he was asked, he’d have to say that he was reaching for the doorknob before his mind caught up with his limbs.

Luke scrambles at the sound, wiping at his eyes. He’s crouched on the floor, mittens in his hand, a large duffle on the floor next to him and a backpack open in front. Petunia’s dog crate is blocking part of the hallway.

“Luke,” Michael says. He doesn't have anything else to say; he didn’t think this far ahead.

“I’ll be quieter,” Luke sniffs. “Sorry. Don’t want to ruin your perfect day.”

“That’s not why I’m out here,” Michael frowns. “It’s just a normal day for me. Did your flight get cancelled?”

“What do you think?” Luke snaps. “It’s a blizzard out there. All flights are grounded until at least tomorrow.”

“Sorry,” Michael says. Luke’s face twists up, and he looks down and takes a breath. He paws through something in his backpack, but it’s packed in pretty tight and he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, hands falling uselessly after a moment.

“I can’t find my keys,” he says, voice small again.

“Oh. Do you… you can come and look for them in my apartment, if you want. Just so you’re not spilling all your stuff in the hallway, you know?”

Luke frowns.

“I guess I could make hot chocolate, too?” Michael offers. “I mean, it must be pretty cold out there, with the snow and wind and everything.”

“You hate me,” Luke says flatly.

“I know. Well, I don’t--” he sighs. Even when he’s trying to do something nice for him, talking to Luke is infuriating. “Look. I know that we don’t like each other, but it’s Christmas Eve and your flight was just cancelled. Do you want hot chocolate or not?”

Luke looks at his backpack, then at the dog crate.

“Can I let Petunia out?”

“Sure, as long as she doesn't growl at me.”

Luke considers for another moment, long enough that Michael has to tamp down the urge to fidget with his sleeves.

“Okay,” he says. Then, after a delay, “Thanks.”

Michael nods once, then retreats back into his apartment and holds the door open.

Luke gathers up his backpack and drags the dog crate behind him, immediately crouching to undo the clasp once Michael closes the door.

Petunia woofs in the crate while he fumbles with the latch, launching forward and nearly tackling Luke once he finally gets it open. He hugs her to him, burying his face in her back, and Michael makes himself look away, reaching for the mugs instead and checking to ensure there's water in the kettle before putting it on the stove.

If Luke wants his cocoa made with milk, he can suck it. Michael hopes he isn't expecting whipped cream, either.

"Can Petunia be on your furniture?" Luke asks, still hugging the wriggling beast. She's a solid dog. Michael isn't sure how Luke got her crate down the stairs.

"Sure," he says. Luke gets her go and she wanders around the apartment sniffing every corner. Michael hopes he didn't leave any snacks lying around. He breaks eye contact with the kettle to peer around the corner and ensure that his bedroom door is closed, too.

"So," he says as he gets out two packets of cocoa mix, ripping them open and pouring them into the mugs. "Where... um, where does your family live?"

He glances at Luke, standing in the middle of the room and looking around with a slight frown on his face.

He could try to seem less judgmental. Michael's trying to help him out here.

"They're in California," Luke says. "The northern part."

"Oh. That'd be a long flight."

"Yeah," Luke says. He doesn't say anything else and Michael has just about run out of his small talk, so he turns back to the kettle and wills it to heat up faster. Petunia's dog collar jingles and Michael looks back long enough to see her hop up on the couch next to where Luke has finally sat down.

"You don't have any Christmas decorations up," Luke says.

"Oh," Michael replies. "No, I guess not."

"Do you not celebrate? Sorry, I don’t know your religion or anything."

"Not really," he says. "I mean, I kind of do, but I'm an atheist, and since I can't go home doing Christmas by myself felt depressing. Calum and I already exchanged gifts."

"Oh," Luke says. "Where does your family live?"

"St. Louis. I have a shift tomorrow night, so it didn't seem worth the drive."

"Sorry," Luke frowns.

"S'okay. Better than trying to go home and having the flight be cancelled."

Luke purses his lips. Michael hopes he doesn’t start crying. Thankfully the kettle chooses that moment to squeal, giving Michael something to do besides stare dumbly at Luke. For someone who spent what was probably a very frustrating and frazzling amount of time at the airport, his hair looks infuriatingly good right now.

"Do you want marshmallows?" he asks. "They're a little stale."

"Sure," Luke says. "Thanks."

Michael gets the marshmallows from his cupboard and plops a few into each of their drinks. He gives Luke the mug his parents got him with his college logo, keeping the Marvel one that Calum bought for himself. Luke takes the mug with both hands, their fingers touching, and Michael tries not to snatch his hand back. Petunia leans forward to sniff, making Michael give her a wide berth on the way to his wicker armchair.

"Are you scared of my dog?" Luke asks. "Look, I know she has some pit bull in her, but that doesn't mean she's a monster. She's really sweet."

"She growled at me when we met."

"When was that?"

Typical. Michael isn't even a big enough blip on Luke's radar for him to remember that they met when he moved in. Sure, Luke probably met a lot of people that day, but Michael lives right next door, and they've obviously seen each other a lot since then.

"When you moved in. I was leaving for a shift, you were moving boxes around, and she came out and growled at me."

"Huh." Luke looks at her. Petunia looks right back, completely unbothered. "She's really not typically like that. The stress of the move made her moody. If you let her sniff you now, she'll let you pet her. Come on."

He sets down his cocoa and gestures Michael forward.

"Dude, it's not a big deal."

"It is," Luke says. He looks sincerely distressed. Michael immediately wants to correct that, like Luke has some sort of weird superpower that makes everyone around him want to keep him happy. "I want you to like my dog. She wants to like you, too."

"Fine," Michael says, rolling his eyes. "I'll meet your stupid dog."

Luke beams. He has dimples. Somehow, this is the worst thing that has happened to Michael today. His insides feel funny, like he swallowed pop rocks.

"Be nice, Piggy," Luke says to the dog. Michael cautiously holds out his hand, letting Petunia snuffle at it. Soon enough she must decide that he isn't worth the trouble because she puts her head back down and lets Michael run a hand over her back.

"She really likes it when you scratch behind her ears."

He tries that out, watching the way her ears flick forward and back and how she keeps moving her eyes from him to Luke. She sighs and smacks her lips twice, kicking out her back leg and stretching further on the couch.

"See?" Luke says. "She likes you."

Michael smiles, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch so he can continue to pet her.

"I miss dogs," he says. "I keep wanting to get one, but I work too much right now."

"What is it you do?" Luke asks. He drinks some of his hot chocolate, pulling a face but going back in for another sip. MIchael’s not sure if that means his cocoa sucks or is acceptable.

"I work nights at a grocery store, but I babysit for some of the families here, too."

"Really?' Luke asks.

"Don't sound so surprised," Michael snorts.

"Sorry," Luke says. "You just don't strike me as a kid person."

Michael shrugs. Luke has a point. Michael was an only child and he gets tired and grumpy easily. Still, hanging out with his kids usually isn’t that bad.

"It pays well. They're little demons, but at this point all of them like me, so it's not too bad. The hardest thing is pretending to be bad at their video games so they don't get upset because I'm beating them."

“I guess,” Luke says. “I’m a hairstylist, and our salon is pretty high-end. We don’t get a lot of kids, thank goodness. I’d be scared that they’d move and I’d cut off the wrong chunk of hair.”

Huh. That must be why his hair always looks so good.

“You think my hair looks good?” Luke asks.

Shit. Michael is too used to being alone in the apartment and allowed to speak all of his thoughts to the air.

He shrugs.

Luke makes a pleased noise and drinks more of his cocoa. His cheeks look a little red, possibly a side effect of him still wearing his coat even though he’s inside with a warm drink.

Michael goes back to his chair and picks up his own cocoa. Luke takes a few more sips, but it seems like he has used up most of his small talk, too, although he tries as he goes through his backpack, commenting on the book he tucked in there but probably wouldn’t have read and occasionally cooing at Petunia. Michael is grateful when he finishes his own drink and can take it to the sink to rinse it, spying his half-eaten toast and taking a bite along the way.

Luke finds his keys quickly, zipped into an outside pocket.

“Thanks for the cocoa, and letting me let Petunia out,” Luke says, standing in the middle of the room again, backpack on and keys in hand.

“Yeah, sure,” Michael replies. “Hope you have a good Christmas.”

“You too,” Luke says. Michael looks at everything in the room other than him. Luke grabs his things, calls to Petunia, and leaves for the apartment next door.

-/-

There’s a knock on Michael’s door a few hours later. It’s still snowing pretty heavily outside, white flakes standing out against a black sky whenever they pass by a light, so it must be someone in the building. Michael hopes it’s not someone needing a last-minute babysitter. He’s still tired and trying to savor his one night off, even if he doesn’t have any plans beyond video games and movies. He’s going to have to resist shouting at the tv into the early morning now that Luke is home again, but he was still looking forward to it.

Luke is standing outside his door.

“Hi,” Michael says slowly.

“Hey,” Luke says. “Do you want to have dinner?”

“What?” Michael asks, sure that he heard something wrong or is misunderstanding something.

“I dunno. You’re here, I’m here, neither of us are doing anything. I don’t really want to eat alone on Christmas Eve.”

Oh. Michael hopes for once his pale complexion isn’t betraying him, but he can feel his ears burn. Luke is not asking him on a date; he’s just bored and lonely. Luke also has automatically assumed that Michael doesn’t have a life and isn’t doing anything which--while true--is a little offensive.

“Okay,” he shrugs. “What do you want to eat?”

“Well…” Luke looks down at his feet, ever so slightly pigeon-toed. He has really nice legs, even when they’re covered in baggy sweatpants instead of the usual skin-tight pants Michael typically spies him in. “I wasn’t planning on being here for a bit, so I have some pasta but no sauce, or I have pancake mix. We might be able to walk to the Chinese place at the corner, but I don’t know if they’re open with the blizzard.”

“Pancakes sound good,” Michael says. “I have some eggs, if you want those.”

“Thanks,” Luke says. “I have some bread for toast and jam and butter. That’s a full meal. Want to come to mine?”

“Sure,” Michael says. “I’ll get the eggs.”

Michael lets his door swing closed. He toes on his shoes and grabs his phone, then almost forgets the eggs anyway and has to double back to the kitchen.

He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to walk right in to Luke’s apartment or knock out of politeness. After a moment of deliberation he chooses the latter, navigating around the wreath to rap his knuckles against the wood, which sends Petunia barking and therefore might have been the wrong choice. Luke doesn’t seem bothered when he opens the door, though. He just smiles and steps aside, then tells Petunia to stop. Petunia actually greets Michael at the door, too, snuffling at his feet before trotting after Luke to the kitchen area.

"Woah," he says involuntarily once he gets a clear look at the apartment. There's a fake tree in the corner, which he expected, but what takes him aback is the tinsel hanging from the ceiling in green and red, the small Santas and snowmen standing proud on available surfaces like the TV stand, side table, and counter, and the numerous other fake evergreen springs scattered around. There are Christmas pillows on the couch. There's a wooden reindeer on the wall.

Michael knew that Luke loved Christmas given the numerous carol-sessions and decorations seen from outside the apartment, but somehow he still hadn't considered that the inside would look like this.

"I got started already," Luke calls from the kitchen. Michael breaks himself out of his decoration shock and follows him into the small area, looking in the mixing bowl Luke gestures to. The batter inside doesn't appear to be mixed very well, just milk sitting around a mound of powder. "I don't know when you usually eat, since you work so late, but I hope you don't mind. If you hate it you don't have to eat it or whatever; I'm not the best cook and I know that you're just humoring me."

Luke puts his hands on the counter and sighs.

"Sorry. I'm rambling."

"It's okay," Michael says. "I prefer rambling to awkward silence."

"I'm great at awkwardness," Luke says. "I excel at being awkward. If it's possible to make a situation more awkward, I can do it."

"Yeah, I'm getting that," Michael says, eyeing him. This Luke is different than the Luke Michael so often sees in the hallway. He's softened by the grey tracksuit he's wearing, hair now pulled half-up, slight embarrassment staining his movements. This Luke is approachable and comfortable. Michael thinks he can find his footing here. The Luke that he interacted with before today is intimidating in his heeled ankle boots and silk shirts. This one seems like... well, a little like a dork.

Michael reaches for the pancake mix box while Luke takes a fork and starts stirring.

"Hey, did you put an egg in?"

Luke freezes.

"This needs eggs?"

Huh. This Luke is a dork who is hopeless in the kitchen.

"You weren't underestimating your cooking skills earlier," he says. "Have you made pancakes before?"

"It was a while ago, okay?" Luke defends. "I eat out a lot."

"Every self-respecting person should be able to make pancakes," Michael says. He takes one of the eggs and cracks it over the bowl, Luke pausing in his mixing to give him room. Thankfully, Luke seems to have a griddle plugged in and warming up. Michael thinks it probably was a housewarming present that doesn't get much use.

"What kind of eggs do you want?" Michael asks.

"Uh, scrambled."

"How many?"

"You choose."

Michael has never cooked with Luke. Michael has never seen Luke eat and therefore doesn't know his appetite. Michael has no clue what to do with that answer.

"Can I have a pan?" he asks.

"Sure," Luke says distractedly, forcefully stabbing at the egg in his mixing bowl to break the yoke. "They're right over there."

He kicks his leg out towards one of the lower cabinets, right behind where Petunia has taken up residence.

"Hey Petunia, want to move?" he asks her, crouching and slowly opening the drawer. She stares at him. He scratches behind her ears and continues to pull the drawer out as far as he can, but it's not far enough. Eventually she must find the drawer pushing into her back more inconvenient than shifting her position, because she heaves herself up and leaves to sit by her food dish in the corner instead.

"Is this mixed enough?" Luke asks. He tilts the bowl and Michael cranes his neck to see. The fact that Luke is asking him at all is weird, because Michael himself isn't exactly in the running for a Michelin star, but there's something to be said about the easy way Luke has admitted his weakness here and turned to Michael for help. Michael himself would probably just keep messing stuff up rather than admit he needed guidance.

"Um, it's a little lumpy still."

Luke sighs and begins mixing again. Michael finds a suitable pan and begins cracking eggs.

True to his promises, Luke keeps rambling all throughout the dinner-making process. He talks about his favorite foods and his friends and asks Michael if they can add chocolate chips to half the pancakes, as if Luke is the guest here instead of Michael. When he remembers to catch his breath, he asks Michael about himself, seeking the information he had already ended up word-vomiting. It's a lot more endearing than Michael thought it would be. For how annoying he finds Luke, there's something endlessly charming about hearing him nervously spout facts about himself. It's even more charming when he doesn't reprimand Michael for eating some chocolate chips straight out of the bag.

He manages to get batter on his nose halfway through the cooking process. When Michael points it out, Luke's cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink, and Michael makes himself turn to start the toast.

The pancakes land themselves on a plate and Luke gets out another two for them to use. Michael splits the eggs between them and Luke hands out the toast, then they take two of the stools at the counter to eat.

They're not exactly the best pancakes he's ever eaten, but they're not bad at all. They're made even better by the fact that Michael isn't eating them alone.

Being on a different schedule than everyone else and living alone means that the vast majority of his meals are spent by himself, typically with the tv on just to give a bit of noise. While Luke turns on the radio softly, Michael barely registers it, too busy listening to Luke's stories of the salon and countering with tales from the night shift at the grocery. It's deceptively easy to keep conversation flowing between them.

Before Michael has taken his first bite of pancake, he's already decided that hating Luke was a stupid decision.

Of course, Luke is just lonely on Christmas Eve. While he's smiling and laughing hard enough at things Michael says to sometimes duck forward, close enough to rest his head on Michael's shoulder if he wanted, there's no guarantee that something like this will ever happen with them again.

Michael chews his last few bites slowly.

“Hey,” Luke says as he’s putting the plates in the sink, where the mixing bowl and pan are already taking up residence, “do you want to stay for a bit? If you don’t have work or anything? I usually watch some movies on Christmas Eve, but if you don’t want to we can do something else, like…” He looks around his apartment, biting his lip. Michael does not stare. “I have some decks of cards? We can have more hot chocolate?”

“I’d be down for a movie,” Michael says. Luke's shoulders slump in relief. It makes Michael feel better that Luke would be relieved over him staying. He's astoundingly easy to read up close, emotions flickering over his face and seeping into his body language to create an open book. It makes it easier to believe that Luke was asking out of a genuine desire to keep his company, rather than misplaced politeness or simple loneliness.

"Great!" Luke says. "Awesome."

"What do you usually watch?" Michael asks.

"Uh, the Lord of the Rings."

That wasn't what Michael was expecting. Honestly, he was betting on Elf.

"Like, all three? Isn't that twelve hours?"

"We usually have them going right after lunch. I think my parents hoped that watching would tire us out so we wouldn't wake them up early to open presents before church."

"Did it work?" Michael asks.

"Nope," Luke grins. "Jack--one of my brothers--always ensured we were awake when the sun rose."

"If I had a brother wake me up that early, I would kill him," Michael says.

"Not me. I wanted him to," Luke says. "I loved running to the living room and seeing all of the presents and our stockings lined up. I didn't want to wait a moment more than I had to."

Michael tries to picture a younger Luke Hemmings running excitedly to look under his Christmas tree, early rays of dawn streaming in through a window and fresh snow on the ground.

He doesn't know what Luke looked like back then. It puts a damper on things, but the image is soaked in nostalgia and happiness regardless.

"If you wake me up early tomorrow it'll be the last thing you do, but we can watch Lord of the Rings," he says. Luke grins.

"Can we make a blanket fort, too?" he asks.

"What are you, six?"

Luke's face immediately crumples.

Shit.

"No, not like that! It's not a bad thing!" he backpedals. "Like, I'm just teasing. I do it with all of my friends. If Calum had asked I'd have said the same thing even though I want to."

Luke eyes him critically.

"We're friends now?"

Michael rubs at his chest. He hadn't even thought before he had said that. He shouldn't have assumed. If Luke hadn't warmed up to him in the entirety of their four months as neighbors, why should one night make any difference?

"I guess," he says. "Why not? I gave you eggs."

"Yeah, a true sign of friendship," Luke says dryly.

Fuck. He fucked this up.

"I should go," he says, starting for the door. Luke lurches into motion, catching his arm as he passes. It sends goosebumps erupting across his skin, freezing him in his tracks.

"Wait, don't," Luke says. "Sorry. We're friends. Don't go, please. I didn't--we're friends. I want us to be friends."

He releases Michael's arm, and Michael feels like he can breath again.

"We're really bad at this," he says. It makes Luke laugh, lifting at least half the heaviness in the air. "We're friends, we're going to make a fucking blanket fort, and we're going to watch Lord of the Rings. Right?"

"Right," Luke says.

"Good. Let's get started on that blanket fort."

Luke's definition of a blanket fort is more of a nest. They don't have anything tall enough to prop up a ceiling unless they take the cushions they need to use as a floor, even with Michael going back to his own apartment to bring pillows and blankets. In the end, Luke moves his small coffee table and they simply pile as much padding and blankets as they can find in front of the couch. Luke pops a bag of popcorn and offers beverages. Once he gets settled Petunia flops down next to him, leaving Michael to set up the movie with Luke giving directions, since neither of them could disturb Petunia in good conscience.

Luke ends up disturbing her anyway to take her outside for the bathroom so she doesn't interrupt the movie.

Being alone in Luke's apartment with no distraction is strange, so he takes out his phone and texts Calum.

To Calpal: im in lukes apartment we had pancakes and now we are watching lord of the rings

From Calpal: ???? hot mean neighbor luke?

To Calpal: yeah his flight was cancelled

From Calpal: ????????????? I thought you hated him

To Calpal: hes kinda a dork cant cook for shit his dog likes me now hes kinda funny too we are officially friends

From Calpal: ??????????????????????

Luke’s door opens, and Michael has to scramble for the popcorn so Petunia won’t be able to get at it while Luke takes off his boots and jacket.

To Calpal: g2g tell you later

“Hey, Petunia,” Michael says when she presses against him, stretching for the popcorn he’s holding out of reach. He runs a hand over her back, fur cold and damp. “Is it still snowing?”

“A little,” Luke calls. “I think it’ll stop soon.” He gets the main light, leaving a lamp on a side table lit, then flops down on the blankets and cushions, shoulder knocking Michael’s briefly.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

Luke presses play, and the opening instrumental and Galadriel’s narration fills the small apartment.

Luke is chatty during movies. Michael would be more annoyed by it if this wasn’t clearly a movie he had seen millions of times before with a million memories to accompany. Besides, when Michael says he’d like to be a hobbit so he could snack all the time, Luke makes another bag of popcorn for him without asking.

“Do you think--” he asks, then stops. On screen, the Fellowship arrives at Lothlorien.

“Do I think what?” Michael prompts.

“Do you think I’ll be able to go home tomorrow?”

Michael looks at him, lounging back on the cushions with one of the blankets pulled around him. He let his hair down, curls shadowing his face a bit more in the low light.

“Yeah, if the snow stops,” he says. “But if not… if you’re still lonely, you can hang out with me until I go to work.”

“Really?” Luke asks.

“Yeah, why not,” Michael says. “If you’re not sick of me, I don’t have any plans. I was just going to play video games.”

Luke smiles at him.

“I like video games.”

“Great. We’ll play video games.”

Michael turns back to the movie, but Luke’s hand snakes over a snoring Petunia and grabs his own.

“Thank you,” he says. “Really. You’ve made what would’ve been a really shit time into a surprisingly nice Christmas.”

“It’s not even Christmas yet,” Michael says, feeling his cheeks heat up. Thankfully Luke won’t be able to see it in the low light.

“You’ll make that nice, too.”

Michael squirms under his attention. It feels too nice, and that’s something he can’t afford to consider right now.

“Um, I think there’s an important scene coming up,” he says. Luke squeezes his hand again, but returns his attention back to the screen.

Michael is the one to put the second movie in, because Luke is still sniffling over the ending of the first. Michael’s not sure if he’s allowed to tease him for it, especially when his own eyes welled up. He cries over movies pretty easily, and there’s something to be said about the loyalty and love packed into the last piece of the story, something that Michael occasionally wonders if he’ll ever find.

He comes close with Calum, but Calum also has a roommate and boyfriend. Michael wouldn’t mind another person to love, too.

“I think this one is my least favorite,” Luke says drowsily when Michael presses play. “Too much Gollum. He used to give me nightmares as a kid.”

“Really?” Michael asks. Luke nods.

“That, and the scene in the first one where they’re making the Uruk-hai and they appear from the mud.”

“When I was young, I had lots of nightmares about showing up to school in my underwear and everyone laughing at me. It would happen once a week. I started ditching school because it made me too nervous.”

Luke hums.

“I wouldn’t have laughed at you.”

“It was middle school. Everyone would’ve laughed.”

“Not now,” Luke says. “I know you now. I’d wait until I knew you were okay to laugh.”

“Thanks,” Michael says. Luke nods. He keeps sinking lower and lower into the blankets, eyelids drooping more every time Michael checks on him. Michael himself would still be in the middle of his shift at the grocery store on a typical day, and he could keep going for hours. The relaxed atmosphere they’ve formed might let him clock out early, though.

They watch most of this movie in silence, Luke’s commentary diminishing more and more as the movie wears on. There are a few times where Michael thinks he’s finally fallen asleep and he should take his leave, but then Luke will shift or say something else.

“Michael?” he asks eventually, voice small and eyes closed. He’s curled on his side facing him, giving up any pretence of continuing to watch.

“Hm?”

“Will you stay here tonight?”

“Sure,” he says. Luke smiles and snuggles deeper into the blanket. His breathing evens out more, slipping seamlessly into sleep. Michael looks at the way his eyelashes brush his cheeks, savoring the unguarded expression on his face. He’s almost ethereal like this, as fair and otherworldly as the elves on the tv but twice as captivating.

Michael puts the third movie in once it’s time. He’s asleep within ten minutes.

-/-

Michael wakes disoriented, tangled in multiple blankets and propped on too many pillows. There’s noise somewhere near him, someone else shuffling and the rustle of a jacket being put on, but it doesn’t feel out of place. This person isn’t an enemy breaking in.

“Wha?” he asks, trying to turn towards the noise.

“Sorry, sorry,” Luke murmurs. “I’m going to try to see if I can get to church. Go back to sleep.”

Soft fingers brush his hair to the side, lingering. He leans into the touch before it’s gone.

He rolls over and goes back to sleep.

-/-

The smell of coffee draws him fully out of sleep a while later. Michael blinks and does his best to detangle himself, sitting up and looking around groggily until he processes Luke standing at the counter, mug in hand. It’s a sight that Michael could get used to if he was allowed. He’s in his typical jeans and fancy shirt, a juxtaposition to yesterday, and Michael isn’t sure what that means about the dorky guy who wanted to make a blanket fort rather than the one who always brushed by Michael in the hallway.

He clears his throat. Luke’s answering grin is wide and familiar.

“Hi,” he says.

“Good morning,” Luke says. “Afternoon. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” he hums. “Coffee?”

Luke pours another mug, offering Michael cream and sugar. He brings it over, and this time when their fingers brush over the mug Michael doesn’t feel the need to snatch his hand away.

“How was church?” he asks.

“It was good,” Luke says. “The plows were out overnight, so I was only a little late.” He looks down at his mug, fingertip tracing the rim. “I wish I had been able to go with my family. It’s fine though. Mum will probably have us go on Sunday.”

Michael nods.

“I, uh, got a message from the airport, too. My flight got rescheduled. I’m going to have to leave in about an hour.”

“Oh,” Michael says.

“Sorry.”

“What? No, this is a good thing. I’m glad you get to go home,” he says, hoping he doesn’t sound too disappointed. He had been looking forward to spending part of the day with Luke more than he thought, and to have that taken away from him feels like a punch to the gut.

“Guess we’re going to have to reschedule the video games,” Luke says.

“Yeah.”

“Or,” he says, “we could go on a date?”

Michael gives himself whiplash with how quickly he looks up.

“I, uh, don’t know if you even like guys,” Luke says, “but I’ve had a lot of fun with you, and I’ve always thought you were cute.”

“I thought you didn’t like me until yesterday.”

Luke shrugs.

“I can think you’re hot and be frustrated about it at the same time.”

Michael nods because yeah, that tracks. Michael has never kidded himself about how nice Luke is to look at, even when he was cursing his name for waking him up with Christmas carols.

“Yeah,” he says.

“Yeah, you agree that you’re hot and frustrating? Or--”

“Yeah, let’s go on a date. Or stay in on a date. Whatever you want.”

Luke grins. Michael hides his smile behind his cup of coffee, but Luke can probably see it anyway.

“Want some pancakes?” Luke asks. “We have the leftovers from yesterday.”

“If you can handle heating them up.”

Luke swats at him on the way past and Michael tries to trip him in retaliation. It almost works, earning him a reproachful look that he responds to with a wink. Luke ducks his head.

Michael is going to flirt with him so hard in the future. He can’t wait to see Luke’s face turn different shades of pink.

They have to clean up the blanket fort after breakfast, and by then Luke barely has time to get Petunia ready before needing to leave. Michael offers to drive him to the airport, but Luke says Petunia rides best in his car, and he’d rather park it at the airport so he doesn’t have to call for a ride home.

Luke walks him to his door, even though it’s only a few feet away.

“Hey,” he says. “Thanks again for making me pancakes and watching movies with me, and for inviting me in for hot chocolate earlier. I’m glad you did.”

“I’m glad you said yes,” Michael says. “Let me know when you get back.”

“I will.”

“Have a good time,” Michael says. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Michael.”

Luke leans forward and kisses his cheek. When he steps back, he’s smiling again. Michael mirrors it and stays standing in front of his door until Luke has disappeared into his.

His apartment feels small and empty after sharing Luke’s for the night. There’s no pillow fort spread on the floor nor dog lounging on the couch.

Of course, Luke’s apartment will be empty soon, too. He’ll be with his family, enjoying Christmas day with them, while Michael’s own parents will be without him for the first year since he was born.

He brings out his phone and dials his home number, listening to it ring a few times before someone picks up.

“Michael? How are you? Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas Mum,” he says.

“Oh, we miss you, darling,” she says. “We wish you could be here. Are you still having an alright time?”

“I actually am,” he says. “I, uh, was celebrating with someone this morning. Have I mentioned my neighbor Luke?”

“No, I don’t think you have. Why don’t you tell me about him?”

Michael gets comfortable on his couch and tells his mother all about spending Christmas with Luke Hemmings.

#my writing #muke #5sos fanfic #ficmas 2020 #MUKE! muke #conceptually I've been digging them a lot recently so this was nice to write #also I say that calum has a boyfriend and a roommate..........#in my head one is roy and one is Ashton. flip a coin for which is which there is no roy disrespect in this house

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gemlinz · 4 years ago

Text

Fulcrum ch. 1 - Meeting (Levi x f!Reader)

Summary: It was a cruel world, she knew. She also knew better than to ask for more than her lot: being a full time barmaid and a part time thief. She helped where she could, bitterly accepted where she could not. Feared the monsters lurking outside the walls. But still - being near him, taking in his strength, his resolve - she couldn't help but hope for more. For herself. For him. For humanity. Warnings: Swearing, Blood

| CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | Read on A03

As far as missions go, Levi supposed this one didn’t suck as bad as some of the ones he’d been on.

He was covered in significantly less viscera for one. For two...

Actually, watching his target seemingly vanish once again, he decided that was the only perk. He had been chasing her for several blocks now.

Frustration drove him as he hurdled a crate searching the area wildly for any sign that she’d been this way. It was mostly luck he saw a flash of her disappear over the building at the end of the alley. Gritting his teeth he launched himself onto the nearest fire escape to pursue. Being covered in Titan guts was actually starting to look like the better option.

As he heaved himself onto the ledge, he cursed Erwin and anyone involved in the idiotic decision that he couldn't use his 3DMG, spewing some bullshit about “proper permits”. Fucking assholes - the precious pearl clutchers of Mitras could kiss his ass, this target was pissing him off.

Looking ahead, he saw her running full tilt across the rooftop, nimbly weaving through the chimneys littering her path. Pausing only to unholster his gun, he once again began the chase.

The rooftop came to an abrupt end and he saw her flail a bit to catch herself from falling. At four stories up, she wouldn't make the jump down without at least a broken ankle - even if she tried, he’d be able to apprehend her without much struggle.

Breathing more heavily than he would like, Levi leveled his gun, aiming for her legs. Erwin said to incapacitate, not eliminate - as long as her dumbass didn't fall over from the impact, mission complete. He could almost feel the hot bath waiting for him at home - it’d been awhile since he worked up this much of a sweat.

“Oi,” He commanded to her back, “Stay the fuck put. I’d be lying if I said I didn't want to shoot you - you’ve been a pain in my fucking ass.”

Weariness tensed her shoulders as she glanced back at him, eyes hard, before her whole person slumped in a sigh. His grip tightened on the gun as she threw her hands in the air in an over exaggerated show of surrender before turning on her heel. Levi didn't buy it for a second.

Not taking his eyes off her, he continued to advance as he got his first real look. Covered head to toe in form fitting black cloth, the only part of her that was visible was the top of her face, dominated by her E/C eyes - they were intense, but more importantly - she didn’t seem worried in the least. Was she delusional?

“Listen cunt, try anything and I will absolutely blow off your kneecaps. I need you alive, not whole.” When she remained in the same position, he narrowed his eyes and slowly moved towards her. “On your knees. Now.”

In a split second her hands went from raised above her head to a mocking salute, and Levi pulled the trigger in a knee-jerk reaction. The gun clicked, but there was no kickback. No bullet, either.

Levi could only chance a look at his gun before her fist, still clenched above her heart, propped up her middle finger in a different kind of salute. She leaned back before disappearing off the wall towards the ground below.

He threw the gun aside and charged after her, stopping abruptly at the edge. Frantic coal eyes scoured below, before anger boiled low in his stomach - below was the city square, a crowd gathered that she’d be impossible to find in.

“Fuck!” His yell attracted a few glances up his way, but he paid them no mind as he walked back towards his defective gun.

Picking it up he inspected it more closely - something was obstructing the hammer. Biting back another curse, he pried out a crumpled piece of paper. Immediately he mentally retraced his steps - when did…

Then he remembered - walking down the street to his designated position when the mission began -

A quick yelp and then she was on the ground. Levi was a bit startled himself - he didn't even see her, so caught up in his mental rant about bullshit policies regarding 3DMG in city limits. Visibly though, his face remained as stoic as ever.

“You should watch where you’re going.” He bit out, offering his hand to the prone woman. She accepted his hand reluctantly and he pulled her up. He must have misjudged his strength because she was sent careening into his chest before she straightened herself. He steadied her, scowling.

“Sorry, t-thanks.” She offered demurely, eyes not meeting his, before practically running away through the market.

The memory flooded back and he struggled to remember everything about her as possible but - there wasn't much. H/C hair, about his height - that's it. Fuck, that could be anyone.

Fucking idiot he cursed himself and he could almost hear Kenny lecturing him to always be on guard, even in a city like Mitras. He began his climb down the building.

Especially in a city like Mitras, where there was less dirt and grime than poorer cities, but twice as much backstabbing.

The urge to punch something strong, he made his way back to the rendezvous place - he was never going to hear the end of this.

--------------------------------------------------

As she moved through the crowd, F/N did her best to level her breathing and ignore the throbbing in her ankle. This was not how she expected her day to go - Peter said it was an easy score, no muss, no fuss.

She wasn't expecting the Walls-damned Survey Corp to be on her ass. She could only wonder at this new move by the MPs - she hadn't caused enough recent trouble for the “Humanities Strongest Soldier” type treatment. If she hadn’t thought ahead, recognizing him earlier in the market... Wincing, she tried her best to even her gait and made for home; Louis would know what to do.

She fought every instinct telling her to just bolt; it would be a dead giveaway. As it was, she stood out in her unusual garb - switching out her mask and hood for a cap and spectacles, both swiped from nearby stalls, was the best she could do until she got somewhere safer. She navigated the streets, avoiding khaki jackets as best she could.

“Honestly, it's unthinkable,” She heard a voice start from a pair of drunk women walking a few yards ahead of her, “If those dirty free loaders think they deserve anything, then they should go back out and fight for Wall Maria themselves.” Her serious expression dropped as she drunkenly stumbled, her friend giggling at her clumsiness.

Fists clenched, F/N bit her tongue. Walking through downtown Mitras was always a struggle; she would never understand the inhumanity of Wall Sinas' ignorance. She pushed on - now was not the time.

She took the scenic route. Pausing only briefly to glance imperceptibly for any potential pursuers, she eventually turned down the street that housed Louis’ Pub. The lanterns were running on fumes at this time of night, and the street was quiet. The people of Mitras may be abhorrent but this Pub was the only exception, was home. She felt the tension leave her shoulders as she neared and saw it not swarmed by MPs. Or the Corp.

A little bit more pep in her step, F/N nudged the doors open with her shoulder as she took off the hat and glasses, tossing them onto the first table inside. The bar looked recently closed, most tables cleared and wiped down, chairs stacked on top.

“Louis!” She called to the doorway that led to the back, hearing her mentor moving around, “You will not believe the night I’ve had. Any idea what I did to piss off the Survey Corp? Had Captain Fucking Levi after me. The runt almost had me - Do they seriously not have anything better to do?”

Moving farther in, she leaned over the bar and grabbed a bottle, practiced hands flicking off the cap before taking a long swig. She savored the burn as she swallowed. When he didn’t round the corner to the main bar, she paused, bottle halfway to her lips, eyebrows furrowed. What was he doing back there?

“Louis?” She tried again. “Do you need he-”

Instinct was the only thing that saved her from the bullet, dropping to a crouch an instant before it flew by and lodged itself in the wall.

“Tch.”

In an instant, she was back on her feet, but wasn't quick enough to dodge the hand on her neck thrusting her face first into the bar counter. She felt bone give before the pain blinded her.

Now falling, she threw her hands in front of her to catch herself before the floor did, and was rewarded with a heavy knee into her unprotected abdomen.

This time she did hit the floor, hard. Dazed and winded, she groaned and sluggishly moved to roll over but was stopped by a knee pressing painfully into her back, her arm pulled behind her. Her shoulder strained under the force and she bit back a whimper. Panicking, her free arm flailed, searching the ground for anything to defend herself with. The cool glass of the now broken liquor bottle grazed her fingers and she strained to reach it.

Ice flooded her veins and she froze at the bite of cold steel suddenly pressed against her throat.

“Try it and you’re dead.”

E/C eyes widened at the familiar voice.

“H-how-” She bit back a yelp when he pulled her arm further back, kicking the broken glass away from her reach. Only the feel of his blade pressed against her throat stopped her from struggling - she felt fear crawling up her chest as helplessness settled in.

“How’d we find you?” Levi finished for her, voice mocking “Your buddy told us you’d be back here.”

Her mind raced, trying to think of who the hell would even know to look for her here - Peter? No. Peter was a fickle idiot, but he doesn't know about the pub. Could it be - as best she could, her eyes looked towards the open door to the back. There's no way Louis missed the noise of this very one sided fight.

F/N was pulled out of her thoughts when Levi leaned over her, the movement putting more force into his hold on her. She winced.

“If you even twitch,” He hissed into her ear, increasing the pressure on the blade at her neck, “I’ll slit your fucking throat. Understand?”

He paused long enough that she realized he was looking for an answer. She nodded fearfully and he shoved into her once more for good measure before the blade was removed and her free arm was pulled behind her as well.

She heard the clink of metal and a second later, cool iron at her wrists.

Face throbbing with a broken nose and likely concussion, F/N could only allow herself to be hoisted into one of the bar’s chairs, hands shackled behind her.

Trying to get a grasp on the situation, she blinked through the spots in her vision and tried to breathe around the blood filling her sinuses. Footsteps sounded to her left but trying to loll her head in that direction resulted in a nausea that she had to shut her eyes and breathe through.

Granted, she wouldn't mind throwing up on this dicks’ shoes - but still. Not dignified, and she didn't fancy getting her ass beat again.

A hand in her hair pulled her head back painfully.

“Try anything and I’ll break your legs.” Was hissed in her ear as warning when she heard additional footsteps signaling the arrival of someone new.

“Levi.” A commanding voice sounded, cutting through her delirium. Nothing more was said, but she heard an annoyed tsk, and her hair was released, allowing her head to roll forward.

“I said to go easy.” The new voice chided after a heavy sigh.

“You didn't have to chase her through half the city.” Levi deadpanned, nonplussed. “She’s lucky I didn’t just shoot her.”

Not for lack of trying , she thought bitterly, eyeing the bullet hole in the wall where her head had been moments prior.

A gentle touch on her arm startled her. Squinting, she made out Louis' wrinkled face. Pain splintered through her chest at the sight of him. Louis looked the same as he always did, a much younger man stuck in an old man's body. Only his white hair and shrunken frame gave away his age, he moved like a man 20 years his junior. He was like a father to her - took her from Marie’s care and shaped her into something human . Him selling her out was unfathomable, even as the evidence piled up.

“It’s ok F/N,” Louis said in his familiar soothing voice “Erwin’s a friend - please just listen to what he has to say...”

While she could only stare incredulously at her mentor, “Erwin” pulled up a chair in front of her. Sitting down, he leaned forward, arms resting on his knees. He seemed to be examining her and she felt like a specimen on one of the Military’s engineers tables; she was being dissected.

Blood steadily leaking down her face, F/N’s gaze swiveled between her mentor and the blonde sitting across from her. Finally able to focus, the sight of his uniform was unmistakable.

Her head throbbed painfully and the reality of this betrayal finally hit. White hot fury spurned her forward out of her seat, but she didn't get far - an iron hand on her shoulder shoved her forcefully back into the chair. Once again, a blade was placed at her neck.

“Give me the excuse.” Levi leaned in to speak from behind her.

Louis cast a cold gaze at him before turning to the seated newcomer. “Is this necessary?” He asked.

Erwin’s gaze hadn’t left her face.

“Yes, as unfortunate as it is.” He started. After searching her bloody face, he seemed to reach some conclusion and leaned back, casting a nod towards Levi at the same time. The pressure of the blade left her throat, but F/N did not relax. “She is still technically a criminal, and we cannot afford to be too trusting.”

Her scoff was interrupted by a cough. Spitting out the blood that had drained into her throat, her eyes turned to Erwin.

“You would say that, Military Dog.” She tried her best to hold his gaze but looked away. His eyes weren’t filled with the same ignorant spite she was used to, and it confused her. But he still had his attack dog break her nose so - fuck him anyway.

Erwin only nodded.

“Yes, I do say that. You’re still a thief, however noble your cause may be.”

E/C eyes shot up to once again lock with his blue ones, confusion coloring her features.

“You seem surprised.” He said as Louis moved to take a seat beside you both. “I’m very much aware of your motives, F/N L/N. To take from those who have too much and give to those who have-not.”

“If you’re so aware of my “noble” motives, why don’t you let me go?” She asked through gritted teeth.

Erwin hummed low in his throat.

“In an ideal world, I would.” He crossed his arms, gaze falling above to the ceiling in thought. “But then again, in an ideal world, there wouldn't be any have-nots to steal for.”

He trailed off, staring at something in the distance.

“But I digress,” he sighed, eyes once again landing on hers, “It's not an ideal world, and here we are. It was either us or the MPs that would have caught you, and they lack the vision we do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She spat, mind reeling. The revelation his words brought was a stone in her stomach.

“It means we could use someone with your particular skills.” His gaze was piecing, but her dazed-incredulity allowed her to stare back.

F/N waited for the rest - for some kind of explanation to whatever the hell was happening, but when none came she cast her sights on Louis.

“Is this some kind of joke?” She started, borderline hysterical, “Louis, please - tell me this is just you getting back at me for drinking from the top shelf.”

Louis’ gaze remained stoic, but still as gentle as she always remembered.

“This isn’t a joke, F/N,” He began, running his hand over an old scratch in the bar table, “The Survey Corp needs our help.”

“The fuck they do!” She yelled in an uncharacteristic outburst, panic finally snapping something inside of her, “They’re backed by the government - which means they have fuck all to do with us, or anybody that doesn’t fit into their perfect society. What could I possibly do for them that their pet fucking sociopath back here couldn’t?” She gestured behind her with a nod towards Levi, still standing sentinel at her back. "Stop with this hero shtick and just turn me in already. There’s nowhere you can put me but in the ground that I wouldn’t eventually get out of .”

Louis nodded empathetically.

“I understand your hesitation. But we’ve done jobs for them before-” He held up his hand when she went to interrupt, “Even if you didn't know it at the time.”

At her confusion, he finished: “Just - hear him out, ok? I promise, our goals align, and I won’t let anything happen to you. I wouldn't have called them here if I didn’t trust him.”

Erwin watched the exchange and nodded along.

“Indeed. If it wasn’t us, the Military Policy would have eventually caught up to you-”

“And they would have a field day with a pretty young thing like you,” came from behind her, and she paled at the implication.

“Enough, Levi,” Erwin scolded, voice tired, “But he’s unfortunately not wrong - captivity under the Survey Corps supervision would certainly be preferable to other branches.”

“I-I’m,” F/N began, nerves fried, imagination running wild. Swallowing, she continued. “I’m not joining the Corp, if that's what you're after. I’d rather whatever faces me inside the walls than…” She trailed off.

“Than Titans?” Levi supplied helpfully, though his voice held spite.

“Not all of us have a death wish, you suicidal little runt,” She craned her neck to look at him, fury and fear shining in her eyes. “Or maybe you get off on watching your friends get ea-”

“Levi!” Erwin shouted as the Captain started towards their captive, blade already in hand. “Enough. Go wait for me out front.”

Levi stopped, but his brows furrowed at the command.

“Erwin, I don’t think-" He started, but was stopped by his Commander's sharp look. Scoffing, he turned, slamming the door behind him as he left.

“Apologies, Captain Levi has more cause than most to hate Titans, and is still adjusting to his position. I do not recommend antagonizing him.” Erwin said.

“Noted. I’m still not joining your suicide mission.”

Erwin sighed, shooting a glance at Louis that spoke more than F/N was unable to fully decipher.

“I’m not asking you to.” He started, moving to remove something from his cloak, “In fact, the fact that you're not military is exactly what makes you perfect for this.”

He threw three stacks of bills onto the table to his right, each about a ½ inch thick.

“This is our sign-on offer - each job will warrant an additional fee, depending on it's difficulty.”

Y/N could only stare, slow to process his words.

“Seriously? You want to hire me for a job?” She was incredulous, “And how are you going to explain that to your superiors, Mr. Military?” She asked, nodding towards the cash.

“More of a long term contract than a single job. And we have funds designated to pay outside contractors.”

“Do you beat and shackle all your “outside contractors””? F/N snarked.

Erwin's mouth quirked up.

“Only the particularly precocious ones.”

F/N gaped at his gall, making to speak. He held up his hand before she could start.

“Before you decide, I would like to be clear. It is ultimately your decision, but if you refuse, we will hand you over to the military police for them to pursue whatever justice they see fit.”

F/Ns glare was heavy.

"Better get them over here then. I already told you I'm not fighting any Ti-"

"The jobs I need you to complete would take place inside the walls. And if you're as good as they say, without any fighting at all."

At that she raised an eyebrow.

“What business could the Survey Corp have inside the walls, isn’t that the MPs jurisdiction?” A beat when the thought came, “Did you get caught shacking up with someone's wife? Need some good blackmail material to save your skin?”

“F/N.” Louis chided, but it had less impact on her than it would have a half hour ago before she knew he had sold her out.

Erwin didn’t seem phased, however.

“It’s ok Louis. You're not far off, actually - how much do you know about the politics behind the military?” He asked, blue eyes calculating.

She paused at that, thinking. When she didn’t have a response, Erwin continued.

“I don’t blame you for not knowing - it's a closely guarded government secret. The everyday citizen knowing about any infighting could inspire dissent, which, as I’m sure you can understand, would be disastrous for how secular our way of life is. Because of this secrecy, some branches are allowed to pursue...less savory interests without recourse.”

F/N hummed, bored.

“So our shady government continues to be shady - what does that have to do with me?”

Erwin nodded, “I need ammunition if the Survey Corp is to survive in such an environment. Fight fire with fire, so to speak. As Louis indicated, you’ve already helped us. Do you remember the document you were tasked with stealing from a Nicholas Lovof last year?”

Her eyes shot to Louis accusingly. Louis held up his hands in deference. As far as she knew, that document was sold to an anonymous buyer on the black-market - she had no idea it was the military all long who was after it.

“Your efforts allowed us the funding needed to keep our soldiers alive, F/N. And your work was impeccable - only the nature of the transaction tipped off my involvement to Lovof.”

As she continued to stare Louis down, Erwin continued.

“I’d like you to continue to help us. But more importantly - help all of humanity.”

Sighing, tired E/C slid back over to Erwin as she visibly slumped.

“That's a pretty sales pitch you have there, but you’ll be just fine without me, Commander . The refugees from Wall Maria, on the other hand, are starving as we speak.”

“Your methods of providing funds to feed the refugees are effective only in the short term, Ms. L/N.” He countered, “With the Corp at full strength, we could take back Wall Maria.”

She sat up a bit straighter at that.

“Are you serious? How is that even in the cards?”

“It's all hypothetical - but yes, one day the Corp hopes to reclaim what was taken from us.” He leaned forward to deliver the final blow, “Like I said, our goals align. Help me from outside the military, keep the Corp running, and the trodden and defeated can once again reclaim their old lives.”

F/N paused, trying to see the truth behind his bullshit, but she couldn’t disagree with him. Taking back Wall Maria would help so many people. Small heists here and there helped alleviate some of the bleeding - but this would be a huge win.

Slowly starting to nod, she faced Erwin once more.

“Ok - I don't disagree with you, Erwin .” She said his name like a threat, reaching out to shake his hand. The blondes eyes widened only fractionally. He did not see her slip the cuffs. “I’ll work for you, for now - but the second I see you cross over to the wrong side, to the side where gilded bullshit is worth more than human life, I’ll ruin you myself.”

His unnerving gaze never left her face, but he took her hand in a firm handshake.

“I look forward to working with you, Ms. L/N. I know together we can do great things.”

#levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi #reader insert #gem writes

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horansqueen · 4 years ago

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You & Me : chapter 47

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: last filler chapter. the next 3 chapters are all planned. this is the end omg im so sad! i love you guys so much for sticking to this story! thank you so so much! the others chapters will be separated in two so i can write each POVs :)

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : this is, i believe, the last request i’ll add to this story. thank you times a million to all of you who sent some! I received over 200 requests just for YOU&ME! you guys are incredible and i hope youll want to participate to my next story as much as you did for this one!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 47 : His chapter

NIALL

October 2018

Tour was finally over and we were back home. We had decided to get back to California for a while, if only to spend some time with friends and relax. I knew Olivia wanted to be around Louis and I just enjoyed being in LA for obvious reasons. Things had never been better between us but at least once a day, I could feel the ring I bought burning in my pocket or whispering to me from my underwear drawer. It always felt like the right time to get on one knee and ask her and at the same time, it also never felt like it was the perfect moment. I knew it was ridiculous because I was pretty sure she wanted to spend her life with me, but I was scared of being rejected, I was scared of what a 'no' would do to us and to our relationship. So many times, I had looked in her eyes and almost dropped down on one knee to ask her to be my wife, but I never did. I liked to believe I hadn't asked her yet because I knew she deserved something bigger than just me giving her a ring in a hotel room while we're waiting for our ride to the airport, but it was definitely not the biggest problem. I was just fucking scared and every time the words were about to come out of my mouth, I'd swallow them. I had no idea who I was trying to fool : Olivia was never the type to enjoy attention or extravagant things. She was reserved and private, pretty much like me, and I knew my proposal didn't have to be anything wild. It could be simple, and cheesy, and as long as I could find the right words, it would be perfect.

I heard the key in the lock and it took me out of my thoughts, pushing away my inner confusion. I waited until the door opened and she appeared, making my lips curl. She made a quick head movement but everything seemed to go on slow motion, like in a movie, and i watched her hair fly behind her shoulder. I was in it so deep I almost groaned and grimaced at how cheesy I was.

"Hey babe, what are you doing?"

I breathed in deeply, realizing I had completely stopped, and sent her a smile, licking my lips.

"Waiting for you like the loser I am." I half-joked before chuckling. "You were with Louis? How's he?"

She smiled at me and took a step closer, tilting her head. "First off, you're not a loser. You're cute. You're sweet. You're super endearing." she just said, staring at me fondly. Her expression changed and she glanced down, sucking on her bottom lip before putting her purse next to the couch. "I was not with... I didn't spend the night with Louis."

I frowned, waiting for her to continue and when her eyes met mine, I knew it was bad.

"I went to dinner with Dylan."

My lips parted and my heart jumped in my chest. I was never the jealous type and I was not about to start now, right? Then why did something seemed to stir in my stomach? Why was there a lump in my throat that had seemed to appear suddenly?

"No way, tell me you're kiddin'."

"Niall, please-"

"No, don't act like this is normal and that I'm stupid to be angry." i cut her, shaking my head. "I can't believe you spent all this time alone with Dylan."

She sighed again and sat on the couch, rubbing her hands on her eyes. I walked closer and dived my hands in my pockets, trying to remain calm but the truth was, I was hurt and I was not sure what all of this meant. All I knew was that I felt betrayed and I could barely believe we'd have to go through something like this again. This time, the roles seemed to be reversed but I didn't want this to break us.

"Obviously, you knew it was wrong since you purposely omitted to tell me." I continued, pressing my lips together to be sure I wouldn't let out a mean remark. "Why did you do that to me, Liv?"

It took her a few seconds but she finally got up very slowly, right in front of me. Her body was close, so close I could feel the warmth of it on my skin, but I just stared in her eyes, feeling my heart soften at the way she was looking at me.

"I don't love him, you know it." she expressed in a soft tone. "I don't love anyone but you. He's still my friend, and also my co-worker. I probably shouldn't have gone with him, especially not without telling you, but... I don't know, Niall."

I stared at her for what felt like an hour as I tried to calm the beatings of my heart and finally passed one of my hands in my hair and sat down on the couch. She turned around to face me but remained up as I shook my head.

"I'm not going to tell you who you can and can't be friends with, and I do trust you." I let out carefully. "But Olivia, how would you feel if i came back here one night and told you I spent the evening with Heidi?"

I could feel her body tense near mine but I didn't look up at her. I waited and eventually, she sat next to me and reached for my hand on my thigh, squeezing my fingers with both her hands.

"I'd feel betrayed, and sad, and... and hurt." she admitted. "I'm sorry Niall, it was wrong of me."

I brought my other hand and placed it over hers, squeezing her hand and brushing my thumb on the top of it.

"If it can reassure you though, Dylan is seeing someone." she added, making me look up in her eyes. "A pretty blonde. Actress too. Not your type, obviously, but I think they really fit."

"Not my type?" I repeated in an amused tone, raising my eyebrows. "Says who?"

"Your dating history." she explained with a chuckle. "She's a small cute blonde and you like tall and sexy brunettes."

I pressed my lips together again and shook my head. "Naa, that's not true anymore." I just shrugged, making her frown. "I just like one sexy brunette."

She laughed and tilted her head. "You're crazy, I'm not sex-"

I cut her by pressing my palm against her mouth and raising my eyebrows, moving slightly closer. My eyes roamed on her again as something jumped in my stomach. I wanted to ask her to marry me at this exact moment. I wanted to tell her she was everything I needed in this life and that my heart was aching for her to become my wife. Instead, I breathed in and finally swallowed.

"Don't argue with me. You're sexy." I whispered before moving my hand away very slowly. "And I love you."

She licked her lips and the left corner of her lips raised up. "Your love is blinding you." she whispered, moving closer to brush her lips against mine. "But I appreciate it. I love you too."

She kissed me so gently that if I had closed my eyes, it would have felt unreal, and when she pulled away, I saw her facial expression change.

"I'm sorry, Niall. That won't ever happen again." she apologized gently in a soft tone.

"I know." I whispered before suddenly realizing something. "Hey, does that mean he broke up with Heidi?"

Her lips curled and she shrugged. "Yea, that's what he told me tonight. I feel a bit sorry for her, she's been through a lot in the past few weeks."

I stared at her for a few seconds, surprised by her words but at the same time a bit impressed. The fact that she could be empathetic even to people who were mean to her was something I appreciated. Of course, we hadn't been too kind to Heidi either and Liv was not wrong, she had been through a lot, even if it was not all on us and that she had put us through a lot too. Still, I felt my lips curl and she tilted her head before sighing as she turned her upper body my way.

"It's horrible what we all did to each other, don't you think?"

My traits softened and I nodded. "It is." I admitted in a low tone. "Let's just use this so we never do that again."

Her lips curled a bit and she licked them slowly as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. Her arms slithered around my neck and I sent her an amused smile.

"It won't ever happen again." she confessed, tilting her chin up. "I plan to spend the rest of my life with you, and only you."

Her words made me chuckle and I raised my eyebrows, still looking at her, "Oh what a coincidence, I plan the same with you."

I brought one of my hands to her cheek before pressing my forehead against hers. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. It made me smile and gently, I rubbed my nose against hers, making her chuckle low.

"Shower?" I proposed in a low tone.

"Mm no, a bath. Together."

I laughed a bit but we ended up in the bathroom together as she filled the tub with warm water. I let my eyes roam on her as she got undressed, leaving her clothes on the cold tiles, and when her eyes met mine, she raised her eyebrows. The left corner of my lips raised up into a cheeky smile and she just shook her head but I took a step closer, placing my hands on her waist and making her smile too.

"Fifteen minutes without thinking about sex. Please." she asked, tilting her head and making me laugh.

"But you're just standing naked in front of me I mean..."

"Niall James Horan, you're not sixteen anymore, you can be around a naked girl without feeling the need to shag her, i'm sure!"

"Around any other girl, yea, but when it's you..." I let out, half-joking and making her roll her eyes.

"Come on, get naked too." she let out as she started working on my pants. I helped her take them off and before she could do it, I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head, letting fall on the pile of her clothing on the floor. "Alright, seeing you in your usual white boxers does something to me." she admitted, bringing her hand to my cock over my boxers and biting her bottom lip.

"Look who's all horny now." I laughed as she got on her tiptoes to kiss my lips, letting go of me and smiling against my mouth. "Come on, get in the tub."

After a few minutes, I was sitting in the tub, legs spread, and she was sitting between them, her back leaned against my chest. I didn't remember us ever doing that before but I enjoyed it a lot more that I thought I would. We started talking and laughing together and it was exactly like when we were younger and we'd spend all night talking together. Well, almost : the younger versions of us were definitely not naked.

"I can't believe we're dating again." she let out after a while as her thumb brushed gently on my arm. "If someone had told me that a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed it. Who would have thought?"

"Me." I replied before she moved slightly to look at me. "I mean, I wrote 'you and me' about that. I knew we were meant to be, and I've always known I wanted to spend my life with you."

I knew this discussion could go wrong but I had to be honest about all of this.

"I could have refused, you know. I could have been over you by then." she argued calmly. "I thought I was. But then you appeared with that stupid gorgeous mug of yours, that fucking insane smile and those ridiculously incredible eyes..." She shook her head. "I had no chance to win that fight."

I let out a loud laugh and she tilted her head to reach my chin with her lips, leaving a small kiss on my skin.

"When I found out you were getting married... I started doubting everything." I admitted, looking down at my hand moving slowly to bring warm water on her skin after seeing her shiver. "I thought maybe it was too late. But I couldn't seem to give up."

We remained silent for a while until she grabbed my hand and squeezed my fingers tight. "I'm glad you didn't."

"Me too." I whispered. "And I feel so lucky that you gave me an other chance."

Once again, she turned around slightly but this time, I moved my chin down to kiss her lips.

"We don't even have an anniversary date." she pointed out, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Of course we do! It's April 16th of this year."

I felt my heart jump at my words and held my breath. April 16th was the day I bought that promise ring for her in Paris. It was when I decided that I wanted to marry her and that I would ask her to be my wife. Since that day, I had almost asked her so many times I couldn't count anymore. I hadn't dropped on one knee yet but I knew that I would at some point, and April 16th was the day I realized that. Some days I would bring the ring with me in my pocket, some other days it would stay in one of the drawers in our room, but it was always in the back of my mind. I obviously couldn't tell her that and when she turned around an other time to frown at me, I suddenly remembered something she had said.

"Y-Yea, I mean you don't remember?" I stammered. "There was an article about that earring you gave me and you said that you didn't care that people knew we were together."

We had also mentioned not being official the day after, I remembered that too. but I decided not to mention it. I was pretty sure she had mentioned that we were together but I was also aware it was probably just a bad choice of words. She was right, we didn't have an anniversary date, but I hoped that it would become that date if only because it was a big day for me and I hoped it would become a big day for her, too.

"I don't remember, but I trust you." she just shrugged before her lips curled. "Alright, April 16th, then."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and I kissed her gently but firmly again, making her chuckle against my mouth. I could have spent the whole night with her body pressed on me as we chilled in hot water but after a while, we got out, dried ourselves and got back to our room to put on pajamas.

"I'll make us some tea." she proposed as we walked back to the living room and she finally disappeared in the kitchen.

I sat on the couch and started looking for the remote on the coffee table. I was about to give up when something caught my eyes and I grabbed her notebook. It was similar to mine but of a different color and I knew she wrote ideas for her tv show or her future book in it. I was about to ignore it when I realized it was open and I could have sworn I had seen my surname. Without thinking, I grabbed it and a smile appeared quickly on my face when I saw 'Olivia Horan' scribbled everywhere on a page, surrounded by hearts and stars. It seemed like she had tried to create a signature with her future name and it made me think about the ring in my drawer. If I was scared she wouldn't accept, that notebook was a good clue that her answer would probably be positive. I put it away when I heard noise and leaned against the couch as I watched her walk slowly up to me to make sure she wouldn't spill our hot beverages and I thanked her as I grabbed a mug. She sat next to me and our eyes met before our lips curled. I couldn't believe how happy I was.

"I love you, Niall. I'm... I'm glad we're dating now." she admitted before taking a sip.

"Me too, petal. I'm happy you accepted to be my girlfriend again."

---

December 2018

When Liv told me she was spending the day with Julia, I was a bit surprised, but the truth was, I enjoyed the fact that these two got along so well. She said she wouldn't be home late but I knew how she could get and when Louis proposed that we grabbed a bite (and a few pints, of course) together, I jumped on the occasion.

I knew Louis had become Olivia's best friend and even if we used to be very close, I was fine with that. Somehow, they had been through a lot together, and I knew it was partially my fault : they probably wouldn't be that close if I hadn't broken up with Liv. Of course, they'd still be friends, since they were before we broke up, but I knew their pain brought them closer and it was obvious that nothing could tear them apart now.

I was also slowly but surely getting over the fact that Louis and her had sex a few times. I was not sure how often but I was sure I didn't want to know and anyway, i couldn't blame her or him. It had happened and I had to live with that fact. Besides, I knew there was nothing between them anymore.

I smiled when I saw Louis walk in the restaurant and got up to hug him before we both sat back down. We ordered beer and when we got them, we clinked our glasses together and drank half of it. It was weird to think I was with Olivia's best friend and she was actually hanging out with mine, but the fact that we appreciated each other's entourage was perfect.

"So, Neil, how are things for you?" he asked, playing with his beer and turning it around in his hands. "Where's my queen tonight?"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, amused. "Your queen is with Julia, but she's not supposed to come back home too late. She'll text me. Where's El?"

"Gone for a few days."

"Ah. That's why you called me." I pointed out before laughing when I saw his face. "It's ok Tommo, I get it."

"I'm thinking you're ding quite well these days." he pointed out, ignoring my last comment. "When are you gonna pop the question?"

I almost choked on my beer and wiped my mouth on my shoulder before swallowing hard and making Louis laugh.

"We've just been taking bets on that." he continued, shrugging a shoulder.

"We?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Liam and I. Trying to bring Harry in it but he says it's none of our business."

"I've always thought Harry was the smartest of my bandmates." I joked, making Louis laugh again.

"Oh yea, you definitely thought that when he was balls deep in your best friend's fanny right?"

"Shut up, Tommo!" I frowned as he laughed again. "He probably shagged her less times than you did."

Louis took an other big sip of his drink. "Touché." he shrugged again before chuckling. "Not sure what it says about the relationship they had, though."

I raised my nose up in a grimace and drank what was left of my beer. I didn't really want to have this discussion and I decided to change the subject.

"Well, I don't know which bet you took, but I hope you lose." I admitted as I looked through my pocket, taking out the ring and placing it right in the middle of the table.

Louis' eyes got bigger and he moved closer, bending down to look it it without daring to touch it. I stopped the waitress to order us two other beers and a few shots and when I turned back to my friend. he was still staring at the ring like he didn't know what it was. I snatched it quickly, taking him out of his thoughts, and put it in my little finger to stare at it.

"I've thought about asking her so many times." I confessed, my eyes still on the ring. "But it never feels like the right time."

"I know you're a romantic man, Niall but... will there ever be a right time?" Louis said gently, making me sigh. "Aren't you just a bit scared that she'll say no and leave?"

I groaned and closed my eyes before raising my nose up in a grimace again. "Maybe."

He was right, I knew it, but at the same time, i wanted to make it special for her. I wanted it to be something that she'd remember forever, something she couldn't forget even if she tried. I wanted to express my feelings to her and tell her everything she wanted and needed to hear, just to make her happy. I had tried to write down the right words but everything seemed cliché and cheesy.

"Do it. She's your soulmate. I can't make up a scenario in my head where she'd actually say 'no'." he continued. "I think deep down, you know I'm right."

I looked up and sighed again, putting the ring back in my pocket.

"I don't know anymore, I just don't want to take her for granted, you know?" I shrugged. "I've done that before and it messed up everything. Never again."

"That doesn't mean you can't be confident and believe in the love she has for you."

I frowned a bit as I stared at him. "Are you trying to win your bet against Liam by making me ask Olivia to marry me?"

"No." Louis chuckled, leaning against his chair. "I just think you've been hesitant for too long. When exactly did you buy this ring?"

"Mm, well, about, 8 months ago?"

Just saying it out loud sounded ridiculous. Had I been waiting that long? It was almost pathetic. How scared of rejection could a guy be? Seriously. I had never reacted like that in anything I did before, and I was always the confident type, but asking Olivia to marry me was something that made me so nervous I could feel my hands sweat and I passed one of them in my hair.

"8 months? Are you fucking insane? How did you manage to keep that secret?"

"I don't even know." I mumbled in a low tone, staring at my glass, not daring to check Louis' amused expression.

"Niall, we're talking about Olivia. The girl you've known all your life, the girl who's been in love with you since the very first day she found out what love was. Put your big boy pants on and pop the fucking question before that fucking ring starts to get rusty!"

"It's made of gold...."

He rolled his eyes and kicked me under the table, making me groan again as I moved my leg away. Damn, that kid could kick.

"Don't be a fookin' idiot, mate, and just ask her."

I finally looked up in his eyes and he raised his eyebrows at me. He was right but at the same time, I didn't know when I should do it. I wanted to do something special, or at least slightly romantic, but all I could think about were ugly clichés from movies. Nothing original came to mind and it was driving me insane.

"Alright. Soon." I gave in. "I'll do it soon."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam

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cthomashoodstory · 4 years ago

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Best Years but Not in the Same Way (26)

Calum Hood x Reader

Previous Part

Hi I’m back again after this long time, i hope u guys still waiting for this story!!! I’m so excited wrote this part and next part!!! Enjoy guys!

Disclaimer: english isn’t my first language so… you know.

Masterlist

Since the surprise announcement you made with Calum earlier, the paparazzi went crazy (again). They always came whenever you went out somewhere, they followed you everywhere you go, especially you didn’t own any vehicles and you always counted on online taxi.

Suddenly, your life is being a highlight of the year again. Like, the ex of famous male singer has moved on and dating her fellow bestfriend. It suck to be famous and everyone’s eyes are all over you.

They keep asking the same question over and over; are you still in touch with Justin? Did Justin knew you’re dating? How’s Justin’s reaction? Are they dumb? You hadn’t contacted him since the break up and they knew exactly You avoided him, you avoided every questions related to him. You didn’t even care about him anymore.

And yet they really had a nerve to asked that just only for a headline.

As you were predict before, few paps been outside the studio building you were came to. You went inside with an extra effort because they really blocking your way in.

As usual petty questions came out from their mouths while took pictures of me and Calum. But we really ignored it like what’s the point if i or Calum answered their questions? It would caused a world war three. Lol.

After we got inside the building, we walked to the studio room and we meet our fellow friends Ashton, Luke, Michael. And you realized there were your other songwriting friends like Andrew Watt, Ryan Tedder, Louis Bell, Ali Tamposi, and Charlie Puth.

“Hey Palvin,” Charlie looking you confused when he saw you and Calum holding hands. “Oh i forgot. Congrats for you both.” He got up and you hugged him.

“Thanks.” You said to Charlie. “So…,” you said it while looked at them one by one as a sign for them to explain to you their project.

Then Ryan Tedder explained to you. “Oh, we wrote lyrics and Charlie and Andrew are making the beat and i called Luke immediately because i felt this song is really suits them.”

You nodded and Charlie showed you the demo that finished days ago.

“So what do you think?” Andrew asked you after the song played. “It’s pretty sick to be honest.”

You nodded at his comment. “Yes, i love it so much. It’s very thrilling and i can’t wait for the final release.” You were very excited because the moment Charlie played the demo, you really fall in love to the beat and also Luke’s voice really matched the whole song.

After hours staying on the studio, mostly joking around with friends, then we shared our thoughts about music industry, producing, lyrics and all related to music, you and Calum decided to went home.

As you walked out of the building, paps swarmed you and Calum.

“Hey Saara, what’s the thing you did at the studio?”

“How was your day, Calum?”

“You two looks good together.”

“Any new project for 5sos?”

You looked at Calum, his face was straight and ignored all of the questions. And we kept walking to the parking lot.

“Is your relationship and Justin good?”

“Any comment about Justin’s marriage?”

“Are you jealous of her past relationship with Justin Bieber?”

The moment you heard the last question, you stopped walking and Calum immediately stopped too because he was confused why you stopped.

“Can you please, for once in your lifetime, be respectful to my boyfriend? He’s literally stood beside me and all you care was asking me irrelevant questions? Please. I don’t care if you all raining me with ex questions, but when I’m with him, you better be asked about us or shut your damn mouth.” You walked faster than before so you and Calum could arrived to the car and get away from them.

After we arrived at the car, we left the parking lot back to your apartment.

“Wow, what was that about? You’ve been such a badass.” He started the conversation.

You chuckled. “Those people need to be shut. I’m honestly tired with all those questions.”

“So what do you think about our new upcoming single?” He asked you as a distraction of this situation.

“I love it already. It’s so amazing, Luke’s voice is so matched to the lyric, and the bass line, i can imagine you performing with that cool bass line.” You gave him a positive comment because you knew that song would be a hit even you only heard the demo.

“Hi sister,” Mali greeted you when you answered her facetime call.

After Calum drove you off to your apartment, you immediately opened your laptop and get ready to have a virtual ‘meeting’ with Mali because today is the schedule for you and her to discuss her new upcoming single. She asked you for a help and you felt so honored to be a part of her project.

You waved to her through the web camere. “Hi Mali, how you doing?” You were so excited to talk to her even though you texted her everyday.

“I’m fine, what about you?” She asked you back while she sipped her drink.

“I’m good. Wait, why your room is so dark? Oh my God I’m so sorry I forgot, timezone.” You giggled. “So it’s midnight there? OMG Mali, I’m so sorry, we supposed to FaceTime at your local time, not mine.”

Then she laughed. “Don’t say sorry, sister. I’m the one who needs your help. Don’t worry, i took my coffee since hours ago.” She raised her glass. “How’s you and Calum? Everything’s good?”

You smile and nodded. “Yes. We’re good.” “Thank you… for always supporting me.”

“I’ve always liked you since the first time we met back in 2014. You were so kind, friendly, smart and i knew that you’re a good person. I knew that you’re the right person for my brother and i will always support you till the end of time. Past is just a past and we have to left it behind and move on to the future.” Her short speech almost made you cry. Because she’s a very lovely person and you love her so much.

“Virtual hug for you, sister.” That’s the first time of you to called her ‘sister’. Not because you didn’t want to, but you were shy and also scared to called her that because ‘the past’ and also scared she would rejected you. “So i had this lyric i made and i kept it for myself and i wanna show it to you.”

You opened the notebook. “So the lyric is kinda saying sorry for everything that happened and the person is kinda missed all the memories and she felt sad. Sorry I’m suck at explaining.” You grinned and you took your guitar beside you.

“Please show me.” Said Mali.

You started to strum the guitar. “I miss laying in the park, i miss the walks out after dark

You were my first and you'll be the last

I miss the rhythm of your heart, i miss your head laid on my chest

You always said that I was the best, no one ever spoke to me like you did

And I miss you, Cal, and it's hard to take and I can't be saved

I'm sorry

That I didn't give it all to you, I'm sorry

Don't look away 'cause I gotta say I'm sorry

Just hold me 'cause the words will fade, I'm sorry

That I didn't give it all to you.” You finished the first verse and chorus and Mali gave you an applause.

“Saara, that was beautiful.” She looked so stunned. “That was meaningful.”

Yes, that lyric was meaningful to you because you wrote it years ago back in 2015 when you were ‘separate’ from Calum and you felt so guilty about it. You didn’t even had a chance to say sorry to him and instead you wrote this songs as a reminder for you that he was your first special man that came into your life. You were so blinded by your obsession and couldn’t see that the man who always there for you was Calum and you were so glad that you’ve finally opened your eyes.

Then you smiles to her. “I will email you the rest of the lyric and let me know what you think.”

To be continued

Next Part

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