#SOMETIMES ITS HARD
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Me: creates a buffer of five chapters so that if I have a bad week I can still update my fic no problem!
Me, having a bad week: You HAVE to write or you will have less buffer. THIS IS NOT ALLOWED. You MUST maintain the BUFFER.
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The saddest part of having long distance friends in other continents is that not even the same sun and moon shine on them
#not saying that the others have it better!!#but yeah#its something thats close to my heart#sometimes its hard#phone calls and videos calls can never be enough tbh#best friends#frindship#friends#long distance friendship#long distance besties#quotes#midnight musings#musings#thoughts#sad thoughts#midnight thoughts#mine#miya's envelopes#💌
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I have about nine drafts, mostly Sirius oneshots, either entirely blank or full words but I can't seem to finish them even though I really want to wrap them up *cries*
#writer things#sirius black oneshots#drafts#writing#dreamingofmarauders#marauders era#sirius black#sometimes its hard#wish i wasn't doing the actual writing but still could get my ideas into a story#cries#lol#haha
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And Quartz
And Quartz and everyone
I didn't realize so many people cared.
#maybe im an idiot.#sometimes its hard#so many people want me dead as a doornail you know?#they would dance atop my grave#but i know all these people now. who ACTUALLY care#...its taking adjustment#pkmn irl
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my coworker who's nearly 40 is literally cracking up at the lyrics of friday i'm in love. like "tuesday wednesday heart attack" is so funny to her she is laughing out loud and joking about it like a fucking 8 year old who has just discovered the concept of "making jokes" would
#the braindeadness is coming off in waves and making me feel ill#shes quite honestly one of the dumbest people ive ever met and sometimes..#sometimes its hard#personal
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i unscrew those?
picture this, i give you a glass bottle and tell you to open it, but bottle openers are forbidden, how do you do it?
#Sometimes its hard#rarely open bottles like that to be fair as i mostly deal with cans#But you just#Unscrew?
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I'm rewatching Steven Universe and I will never forgive Fandom for what it did to her
#also watching it at age 19-20 as it was released and experiencing the resulting clusterfuck online fandom response was a wild trip#im finally rewatching it again at 25 and really really feel lucky to have seen it at the age i did#i have completely different perspective on it now that i have 3 young nephews and a neice where before i was in college#the music is still as incredible as it was back then#and the animation#i cant beleive people got honestly and truly upset and violently aggressive about characters being off model sometimes#early stevens voice though kills me after awhile...... the yelling .... but his characters growth and development also being reflected in#his voice changing as he grows up#they also go crazy hard on some scenes#who am i kidding the show was a masterpiece and ahead of its time
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haruhi is forever in my heart a sort of boy thingy
#i love ouran but its sort of. hard to rewatch with the dated trans rep and all#its still one of my favs but ouuug haruhi what did they do to yoouuu in the manga endddd#i gotta draw some good fanart that changes like the whole end and everyones genders and bodytypes and stuff i love when ppl do that#put him on T#to me he is aroace and boyyyy#ohh uhh. spoiler warning ig???#ohshc spoilers#ouran host club spoilers#manga spoilers#ill share my ouran fixit au sometime#my art tag
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mask off.
early access + nsfw on patreon
#back to the present!#the most important takeaway from this is clearly that the sound of music is canon.#also because i feel like its hard to convey tone sometimes#ghost's being sarcastic when he says “you play favourites”#just poking fun at price so he can “regain ground” in their verbal sparring match#simon ghost riley#captain john price#monster 141 au#giragi art
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a little siffrin comic about touch, violence, and oranges
#please isat ppl… i worked so hard on this… (<- learned how to draw oranges)#anyways i was thinking about how siffrin says crushes feel like a disease sometimes. i was thinking abt his intrusive thoughts. and about#-bad touch. and about that orange poem. and about how he doesn’t know touch. how violence is easier. even if it feels bad.#siffrin#isat siffrin#isafrin#<- its more abt siff than isa but he is also there!! look those are his hands!! he’s important ok…#in stars and time#my art#also words r by me i forgort to mention#isat#100+#500+#1k+#my writing
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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Motivational Music in the Morning ... #DirtMiller, #SometimesItsHard [Official Music Video] (2022) #MMitM1
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sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”
#phantom of the paradise#potp#winslow leach#swan potp#nightmaretheater#these were all done on the same canvas and i spent over 20 hours on it. Its just that good you know#Sorry this movie is making me VICIOUSLY IRREGULAR. its just that good. You have to watch it Now#i hope you dont mind the billion belts i have gifted winslow. she deserves them#lalalalal i love redesigning characters a little teeny weeny bit#Honestly. I want to draw swan more. I hate him so much but hes like really interesting. Im going to put him in situations#I miiight have changed a few details . giggle#…:i just had to give him a cool mark & blonde eyelashes Giggles#anyways i love ur shiny metal teeth winslow *thinks about the metaphorical implications and dehumanization for 10 hours*#So hard to draw her helmet sometimes… But i will willingly struggle . It is Okay!#anyways. Watch this movie now or suffer my curse
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imagine if after the transmigration shen qingqiu became a combination of shen yuan and shen jiu, not in a "second person living in my head" kind of way, but a "this house is haunted and carries the echoes of the dead" kind of way; imagine shen yuan having nightmares about a house, a fire, a faceless boy behind a door he can't remember; imagine him having flashes of emotions he doesn't understand, rage at a name he doesn't recognize, helplessness when yue qingyuan apologizes for something he won't mention, nausea when ning yingying says the name "a-luo"; imagine parts of his own self have changed too, how he now likes bows in his hair, pretty flowers and flowing robes, but can no longer stand a stranger's touch, a man's touch, yet he longs for the brothels, but never sexually, only fondly, like there's something there he misses. there are many empty spaces in his heart where he feels something is missing
#imagine if one day shen qingqiu wakes up and he no longer knows which one he is#imagine the guilt too. for not just taking a body but their self too. their memories and wants and needs and feelings#maybe it differs per day#sometimes he is more shen jiu. snappy and defensive and aloof#sometimes hes more shen yuan. silly and bumbling and trying so hard#and maybe. maybe. if you want to tear your heart a little more:#most disiciples and peak lords sit out the days where parts of shen jiu surface waiting for shen yuan to come back#theres a metaphor about the ship of theseus in here somewhere. its on the tip of my tongue#something something replacing all the parts one by one. is it still the same ship or has it become something new?#svsss#scum villian’s self saving system#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#scum villain#mxtx svsss#mxtx#luo binghe#bingqiu#svsss thoughts#yue qingyuan
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different POV of this comic
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#ethan winters#karl heisenberg#wintersberg#resident evil#resident evil fanart#rebhfun#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#i dont think karl would ever be the kind of guy to outwardly verbally say “i love you”#not to say he DOESNT love ethan#he just has a lot of trouble saying those three words out loud lol#he shows his love in a different way but i think its hard sometimes#had a conversation with my friend and i think if ethan and karl were to get into a argument karl woul definetly not apologize#he would definetly feel bad and sulk a lot#but i dont think he would ever bring himself to say hes sorry#hes a little too arrogant and emotionally stunted to do that#sorry i like thinking about all the aspects of relationship dynamics#hed apologize by making ethan a robot that kills people who r mean to him IDK LOL
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