#SOMETHING SOMETHING THE AGONY OF INTIMACY

[cntarella]

i have never had a share of his smiles, and not once was his tenderness mine to have

[whimsysalesman]

having Big Feelings in the tags. you neednt read them, but you should go drink water and stretch your eyes

[imaginedisish]

Inside Out (Logan Howlett x f!reader)

A/N: Oh my god I'm back again. This is another soft!Logan fic. I couldn't hold myself back from writing this one. The next fic I have planned is going to be devious and diabolical, I promise, but for now, here's another angsty, soft and smutty Logan one shot. Couldn't stop listening to "Inside Out" by Duster while writing this one. I think it fits. Hope you guys enjoy :)

Summary: After a tense battle, you and Logan have it out (in more ways than one).

Warnings: SMUT! 18+ Minors DNI! Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, PIV (unprotected...wrap it up, this is fiction!), Allusions to PTSD/mental health, Frenemies to Lovers, Fem!reader, AFAB!reader, Mutant!reader, Telepathic!reader (with heightened senses/visions), cannon typical violence/allusions to death, non-sexual intimacy becomes sexual intimacy (not sure if that warrants a warning), angry!Logan, reader has hair (length/texture/color not described!) major angst, probably grammatical errors, I think that's everything.

Word Count: 4477 wow

You and Logan are surrounded. You can hear the other members of the team nearby in the forest, screaming, grunting, fighting. Guns going off, ricocheting against trees. And now, there is a circle of government-sanctioned mutant hunters pointing their machine guns and rifles directly at the two of you. 

Your heart beats out of your chest. How the fuck are you going to get out of this? It seems impossible. Sure, you and Logan can regenerate, but not nearly fast enough. You’re outnumbered 2 to at least 40, and more to come. Maybe this is the end. Maybe there’s no going home this time. 

But then, an idea crosses your mind. Briefly. A flash. A shot in the dark. But it’s there. And if you’re strong enough, it might just work.

You wince as another presence weaves itself through the fabric of your thoughts. No, Charles shouts in your mind. It’s too dangerous. 

You shake him off, forcing up your mental shields. Logan recognizes that look on your face. He can tell you’re up to something. He has always been able to read you like a book. 

“Don’t you dare put yourself in danger,” he mutters under his breath so only you can hear him. “We are all walking out of here, and you’re no exception.”

You close your eyes. “When I tell you to get down, you get down.”

“Absolutely not!” His nostrils flare. The government agents cock their guns. 

“Lo, get down.”

“Fuck no!”

You can feel it coming—feel their fingers bracing their triggers. Pulling. Pulling. Pulling. Everything is silent for a moment. You can hear everything. Nothing. There’s a squirrel running up a tree just a few feet away. A cold breeze sweeps through your legs. Peace. 

It never lasts long, does it?

“NOW!”

BANG! The shots ring out, echoing against the branches, the sound shaking the trees. 

With half your focus, you shove Logan to the ground, and with the other, you stop each and every bullet pointed in your direction. You stop the agents too, freezing them in their places. Dense, heavy sweat builds upon your brow. You’re trembling, your hands stretched out towards Logan and the agents, but you’re still in control. You can hold on a bit longer.  

You swallow harshly, forcing the bullets to rain down to the ground. With the twist of your hand, you remove the magazines from each of the guns and unload them, the ammunition falling to the ground, too. With the agents still under your control, you bend their wrists just enough so that they sprain; just enough so that they can’t fight back. 

And then comes that sudden, familiar shift in your body and in your mind. You’re weakening, losing control, struggling to breathe. You growl in agony, your head ready burst from the pressure of hanging on too long—but you have to finish this. You have to save your friends. 

You have to save Logan. 

With one final push of your hand, you send the government agents flying deep into the forest, screaming in pain at the sheer force it takes. You fall to your knees, down on the ground next to Logan. You try to catch your breath, your chest heaving rapidly. You cough, choking on your own breath and saliva as the taste of metal burns at the back of your throat. You swallow it all down. One more second of that, or a few more agents to fend off, and you might not have made it. You might have died trying. 

You regain some of your energy after a few moments on the ground. It’s not until you try to stand that you notice Logan’s hand on your back. He tries to help you up, but you shake him off. 

“I’m fine,” you protest, dusting off your uniform. 

“Fine?” Fuck. He’s angry. “You call that fine? You almost died!”

You turn to face him. He wants anger? Oh, you can show him what anger fucking looks like. “We would be dead if I didn’t do that! I did what I had to do!”

He prowls toward you. His claws are still out. “Are you fucking crazy?” He’s backing you into a tree now. “Tell me, what the fuck was that? What did you think you were doing?” He retracts his claws as he pins his hands into the tree, right next to your head. The bark scratches into the rips in your uniform. 

You condescendingly poke his chest with your pointer figure. If he’s going to treat you like a child, you’re going to do the same to him. “Saving your ass, that’s what!” You shout back. 

“This is not the time or place for you two to have it out.” Scott’s grating voice fills your ears. He is the last person’s opinion you’d like to hear right now.

You and Logan snap your heads to face him. “Shut the fuck up, Scott!” You spit in unison. He throws his hands up and backs away. 

“You could’ve gotten yourself killed!” Logan practically growls. 

You shake your head, your nostrils flaring. “I was protecting you!” You shout. “And I did! It worked!”

The rest of the team starts to board the jet, but Logan shows no sign of budging. Storm crosses her arms as she stands in front of the ramp. “Logan, let’s go.” 

He doesn’t move an inch, still caging you in. “I’ve got the bike. I’ll take her with me.”

“My bike!” Scott calls from just inside the ship. Logan shoots him a death stare. Even you roll your eyes at the comment. 

“Logan,” Charles chides from next to Storm, his voice a warning. 

You tilt your head past Logan to see Charles. “It’s fine. I’ll go with him. We’ll meet you guys at the mansion.” 

Charles nods. You swear you can see a faint smirk spread across his face, but he’s turning around and wheeling himself up the ramp before you can truly make out his expression. 

The ramp shuts behind him, and the jet powers up to leave. “So how are we settling this, hm?” You ask, cockily. Logan works his jaw, staring down at you with a fury you’re not quite sure you’ve seen before. “What would you like to do, bub?” You smirk. “What, you gonna tell me we’re supposed to be a team or something? Thought that wasn’t your style.” You know you’re being harsh, using his own words against him, ripping into him, but you don’t care. The jet takes off, but neither you nor Logan pay it any mind. 

His tongue swipes his bottom lip, and you can’t help but watch. You try to ignore how much you like the sight of it. Of him. 

“Never,” he seethes, not wavering an inch. “Never do anything like that again.”

“Why?” Is all you ask, knowing full well you’re poking the bear. “It’s nothing you wouldn’t have done.”

He ignores you and presses on. “I swear to God, if anything ever happens to you, I will punch a fucking hole in the goddamn universe so big that…” He trails off, his eyes searching your face. There’s a shift in his expression. “So fucking big that…” But he still doesn’t finish the sentence. His eyes are glossed over, like he’s holding back tears. 

You’re suddenly embarrassed. You can’t keep his stare, his eyes locked on you. You look down at the leaf-covered ground, and you realize just how dirty you are. Blood on your hands, under your nails, caked into your skin. You’re finally understanding the gravity of the moment—of what could have been if your plan didn’t work. 

“It was the only way,” you pause, feeling tears sting behind your sinuses, burning as they reach your eyes. “Only way I saw it ending without you d-dying.” You have to choke the words out. “C-couldn’t lose you,” you mutter, hoping he can’t hear you. 

“And what?” He says, not backing down. “You think you’re the only one with something to lose?”

“N-no,” you stutter softly. “That’s not what I meant at all. I just—”

“I’d rather die than live in a world without you.” He says finally. He pushes himself off the tree and away from you. He turns, walking towards wherever he parked the bike. 

You look at his back in disbelief. “W-what?” “You fucking heard me,” he shouts, not bothering to stop and wait for you or to elaborate further. You push your back off the tree and follow him through the forest. 

“Slow down!” You call out, still not quite fully recovered from using your powers. But he keeps pressing forward. “Logan!” You call again. “Please, I—” You stumble a bit, almost falling over, but you catch yourself just in time. You reach out to a tree for support, gripping a low branch tightly in your hand. You suck in deep, shaky breaths as you let your eyes fall closed. 

Logan shouts your name in the near distance, his voice filled with panic. His footsteps crunch the leaves of the forest floor. You can tell he’s sprinting with every twig that cracks beneath his boots. “Fuck, are you okay?” He’s next to you now, his arms enveloping you, reaching around your waist to offer you support. 

You can feel your tears bubbling to the surface, threatening to burst. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, opening your eyes to look up at him. “I just didn’t see any other way.”

“I know.” His voice is gentler now, calmer. He helps you straighten up, taking a tentative step and watching as you take one too. He walks slowly, making sure not to rush you, keeping an eye on your every move. “I’m sorry too,” he says. “What you do…you just scare me sometimes.”

You hope he doesn’t see the tear that slips out the corner of your eye and down your cheek. “I scare myself. I still can’t control my powers. I know I’m a monster.” You can see the bike in the distance, so you take another step, but Logan stops. “I just feel so inside out sometimes, like I can’t be comfortable in my own head never mind my own skin.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” His voice is steady now, firm. His grip around your waist tightens, keeping you in place. “You’re not a monster. You’re beautiful—” He cuts himself off. “What you can do, is beautiful.”

“Then what is it that scares you?” You need to know. 

“You’re just so selfless. What you did back there…” He pauses. “You knew you could die. I saw it in the way you were standing. The way you looked at me. It was reckless.”

He searches your face, your eyes, your lips for an answer. “You’re no better,” you huff out. Logan smirks, guiding you towards the bike yet again. “It’s just what you do when you care about someone.”

“I know.” His lips are pressed against the shell of your ear. “I know,” he repeats. 

He helps you onto the back of the bike, holding your hips as you straddle the seat. His hands linger longer than they should. He squeezes softly before letting go and walking to the front. He straddles the bike himself, grabbing the key from his jacket pocket and turning it into the ignition. The bike springs to life. 

“Hang on, alright?” He calls out over the roar of the engine. You nod against his back, slipping your arms under his jacket and around his waist. He kicks the stand up, and the bike rumbles underneath you as he presses on the gas. You tighten your hold on him as the bike jolts forward. 

You rest your head on his back, letting yourself fold over him completely. He’s warm and solid underneath you. You shut your eyes, too tired to watch the tires speed across the black pavement. Aside from the engine, the tires against the street below, and the wind, there’s no sound. No one around. It’s just you and Logan. Alone. 

You feel him breathe in deeply. “Don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t make it.”  You can feel the words reverberate in his back. “I mean it.”

“But I did,” you say, lifting your head so that you can speak against his ear. “I’m right here.” He hums in affirmation, and you rest your head on his back again. You hesitantly reach your hands under his shirt this time, arms wrapping around him as tight as possible. You know this is pushing the boundaries of your “friendship,” but he doesn’t stop you—doesn’t push you away. He just hums again. “I’m not going anywhere,” you murmur, and shut your eyes. 

“Good.”

The ride back to the mansion isn’t terribly long, and you wish it could’ve been longer. Logan drives the bike into the garage, taking the keys out of the ignition and kicking out the stand. You lift your head, and before you can even think of getting up on your own, Logan is wrapping his arms around your body and lifting you off the seat. 

You let him hold you there for a moment. You try to tell yourself that this is just a hug between friends, that this whole situation is what happens when you care about someone too much. But it’s hard to lie to yourself when you feel so impossibly strongly about someone. 

He drops his arms from your body and silently takes your hand in his. He guides you to the door that leads to the mansion, keeping you close. 

It’s dark once you step inside. Everyone must have gone to bed. It likely took you and Logan five times as long as the jet to get back to the mansion. Quiet fills the halls. There’s not a stir, not a creak, not a step. You can sense that everyone is asleep, or at least in their rooms. 

“Lo?” You whisper. He squeezes your hand. A surge of confidence racks through you. “Can you stay with me?” You’re not quite sure what you mean by that—what you expect him to do if he stays. All you’re certain of is that you don’t want him to leave. 

He nods, leading you up the stairs. “Won’t go anywhere, sweetheart.” He guides you down the hall towards his room. “Let’s get cleaned up, okay?” 

He opens the door and guides you in, shutting it carefully behind him. He lets go of your hand, the sudden emptiness making your palm feel cold. How do people become so important, so quickly? How can someone letting go of your hand hurt so bad when they’re still just a few feet away? You’re not sure, but you know this feeling is dangerous. 

He’s rummaging through his drawers for a few seconds before he pulls out a t-shirt and places it on the dresser in front of him. He grabs another set of clothes, closes the drawer, and carries them over to you. He extends the shirt out to you, a soft smile playing on his lips. That’s what he is right now: soft. You’re not used to this side of him. 

You take the shirt from him, smiling back. “You should shower. You can use mine.” His head tilts towards the bathroom on the other side of his room. You nod and pad over, opening the door, turning on the lights, and closing the door behind you. 

You keep moving, undressing and turning the water on. It doesn’t take long for the water to heat up, the steam fogging every inch and surface of the room. You step inside the shower, letting the water run down your body. Your eyes fall closed while your mind searches for some kind of peace. You try to recall what Charles often told you: Calm your mind. But it isn’t working this time. Your mind is racing. 

You envision Logan’s angry, fearful face; his concern and panic. Charles’s call that it would be too dangerous echoes and reverberates. You see yourself dead on the ground, Logan holding your lifeless body in his arms. Even worse, you find yourself imagining that it didn’t work at all—that you couldn’t save the team, never mind yourself. This time it’s Logan’s body you see, on the ground, dead. Just like that, your whole world can slip out of your hands and turn to nothing. 

Choked sobs escape your throat as you let yourself fall to your knees. There’s a piercing, splitting pain somewhere deep inside your head. These visions, these feelings, this pain—it’s physical and mental. And it’s too much. It’s not the first time you’ve had visions like these after a fight or a mission, but it is the worst episode yet. 

There’s a knock on the door, followed by Logan calling your name. You try to answer, but your voice is caught in your throat. Logan knocks harder, but you still can’t speak. “I’m coming in!” The door swings open and his eyes widen as he sees your crumpled form on the shower floor, face stained red with tears. 

He shoves the shower door open, practically cracking the glass in the process. You’re suddenly hyper-aware of how naked you are, but it’s clear Logan isn’t. His gaze is trained on your face. “I-it happens, sometimes,” you stutter, reassuring him that this is normal. “A-after missions.”

Logan’s shoulders relax, his eyes softening with understanding. “I know what you mean.” His hands come up to your arms, rubbing gently. “Let me help you.” He gestures with his head toward the shower. You nod and watch as Logan takes his shirt off. He stands to take off his jeans, and you look away, taking the moment to force yourself to stand. You hear him step into the shower and slide the door shut behind him. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, swallowing harshly. 

Logan stands behind you, less than a foot away. The shower is just big enough for the two of you. “Nothing to be sorry for. Just let me take care of you.” 

“Okay,” you whisper. You hear him shuffle a bit, squeeze a bottle, and shuffle a bit more. 

“Can I touch you?” He asks. 

“Y-yeah,” you answer. You wonder if he can hear how fast your heart is beating. But before you can think about it too much, his hands come up to your wet hair. He massages shampoo into your scalp, his fingertips scrubbing ever so gently. You feel your shoulders settle—your body relax. No one has ever done anything like this for you before. 

You watch as the dirt trickles down your body to the drain. After a few moments of massaging, Logan nudges you forward a bit, and you take the hint to step under the water fully. You close your eyes as he scrubs the shampoo from your hair. 

When he’s done, he removes his hands from your hair and slides them down to your neck, and then to your shoulders. You step away from the water, almost bumping into his chest in the process. 

“’M’sorry,” you mumble. 

“No more apologizing, darlin’.” His hands come off your shoulders. You feel lost without the contact. You listen as the bottle pops open again, and Logan quickly scrubs the shampoo into his own hair. You instinctively step forward to let him rinse, and he does.

You take a deep breath, trying to concentrate and calm down now that his hands aren’t on you. But it doesn’t last long. He opens another bottle, pouring more liquid into his hands. 

He rests his hands on your shoulders again. You can feel the body wash run down your arms. “Can I…” Logan trails off, his hands firm, unmoving until you give the word. 

“Mhm,” you hum. His hands start to work the soap into your arms, up to your neck, your collarbone, stopping just above your chest. “Logan,” you murmur, letting yourself lean into him. You feel his heart beating against your back. His breath fans over your shoulder.

You can tell he’s losing his composure, the way he slouches around you, inviting you in. This isn’t something friends do. You two aren’t friends. This is something more. 

And he knows. 

“There’s no coming back from this,” he whispers, his lips at your temple. “If we do this.”

You push back further into him. “Who says I’d want to go back?”

Your back is suddenly met with the cold shower wall, your chest flush with Logan’s. His lips press into yours, swallowing your moans as his hands come up to your breasts, pinching your nipples lightly. He moves down your body quickly, leaving a trail of kisses down your jawline, your neck, the center of your chest, your stomach, stopping just above your clit. 

“Relax,” he soothes, his thumbs brushing your hips. He spreads your legs with the palms of his hands before pressing a kiss to your clit. You shudder at the feeling, whispering his name and throwing your head back. 

He licks a long stripe up your cunt, landing on your clit, taking it into his mouth and sucking roughly. He laps at you hungrily, like a man starved. One of his hands resting on your hip comes down in between your thighs, experimentally sliding through your folds, teasing your entrance. 

It feels so good, but you want him—need him—closer. He inserts two fingers, gently pumping in and out, flicking your clit with his tongue at the same time. 

“Logan,” you whine. You look down at him, his head buried in your cunt. He looks up at you, his eyes wide and filled with lust. You’re already close. But it’s not enough “Need you, now. Want you here.”

“I’m here,” he mumbles against your core. You’re shaking, melting underneath him. 

“N-need you,” you beg again. “Please.” 

He sucks on your clit one last time before removing his fingers from your cunt and standing up to meet you.

His hands rest on either side of your head. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of him. “Are you sure you want this?” His voice wavers just a bit, a slight tremble shaking the usual steadiness of his words. He looks down to your lips and back up to your eyes—his jaw working, as if he’s searching for a sign that you’ve changed your mind—that you don’t want him anymore. 

But you’ll always want him. You always have. 

“Y-yes,” You stutter. He wraps one hand around the back of your neck and uses the other to hoist one of your legs around his waist. His hard cock rubs against your stomach as he moves to line up with your entrance. 

“Wanted you this whole time, pretty girl.” He thrusts into you, sinking down to the hilt. He stays there for a moment, pulling you into him, his free hand grabbing your ass and picking you up so that both legs wrap around his waist. 

He uses the wall as leverage, fucking you into the tiles at your back. Once he’s sure you’re stable against him, his hand leaves your ass and comes in between your bodies, searching for your clit. He begins to stroke, drawing perfect circles there, while his cock hits that sweet spot inside you. 

It’s perfect, everything about this moment is perfect. It all feels so good. You moan his name, his hips rutting into you over and over again.

“Doing so good for me,” he husks, biting the skin just under your jaw, licking the spot where your pulse point is, peppering kisses there. You wonder if he does it because it’s a reminder that you’re still here, still alive, still breathing. “Taking me so well, sweetheart.” 

His words work to coax you off the edge, each swipe of his fingers and thrust of his cock bringing you closer to your orgasm. “L-Logan,” you stutter, his name—him—the only thing in your normally noisy mind. This is what peace is. This is the calm you’ve been searching for your whole life: it’s him. 

You can feel his pace growing faster, his cock pushing deeper, stretching you out as he plunges into you. “You feel so fucking good,” he groans, kissing your pulse point again. “So fucking beautiful.” 

Your walls flutter around him, your clit becoming overstimulated and sensitive as he flicks roughly. You’re so close. “Lo—” but you can’t find the words. 

“That’s it, pretty girl,” he mumbles, his forehead pressing to yours. “Want you to look at me when you come. Can you do that for me?” 

You moan a yes as he buries his cock deep inside you, before pulling out and pumping back in again. 

You can feel your eyes growing heavy, but you keep them open, watching Logan as he pulls your orgasm from you. “That’s it. I’ve got you.” His words, the bass of his voice, him, it all sends you over the edge. He works you through it, still circling your clit, his pace growing sloppier as he chases his own orgasm. 

You wrap your legs tighter around his waist. He knows what you want. “Inside,” you whisper. 

“Oh f-fuck,” he moans, coming inside you, filling you up. 

His thrusts begin to slow, his hand leaving that space between your bodies. You feel like air, weightless, drunk off the way he makes you feel. He carefully slips out of you, but he doesn’t put you back down on the ground. He simply readjusts, picking you up in his arms and carrying you out of the shower. 

He sets you down on the bathmat and crosses the tiled floor to the towel rack, where two towels conveniently hang. He wraps one towel around his waist as he strides over to you. He starts to dry you off, rubbing you gently, kissing each spot he dries as he goes. He’s worshipping you, taking care of you. No one has ever taken care of you like this. 

Once he’s finished, he wraps you up in the towel, and picks you up again. He carries you back into his room, resting you gently on the already turned-down bed. He crawls in after you, discarding his towel in the process. You toss your towel to the side, too. You nestle in under the covers, and Logan does the same. 

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. You can feel that peace again, that calm from before, when he was buried inside of you. It was him. It was always him. Your mind is quiet, no longer all loud and inside out. 

“I’ve got you,” Logan whispers, his legs tangling with yours. 

You bury your face into his chest. “Don’t let go.” But you know you don’t need to ask. 

His mind is already made up. 

“Never will.” 

[calmcoldevening]

Santa Art the clown x reader headcanons

Tw: blood, murdering, some smut, no minors

Note: I just watched the Terrifier 3 and I'm impressed. Can't not to write about this guy

• I hope you've been a good girl all year, because this Santa loves it when you're good. Be sure, he will give you any gift you wish.

• But if you've been a bad girl, that's good too. He loves every side of you, it makes his pants tight. Especially if you flirt with him.

• It will be cool if you like his new costume. Of course Art still has his good old black and white makeup on but the costume is red now. You don't mind, do you?

• Just sit on his lap while he's in the suit and whisper in his ear the most dirty desires you have. God, sugar, he's crazy about you. His buddy will instantly get rock hard and provide you with an unforgettable Christmas.

• On Christmas morning, he will meet you tied up under the tree with some beautiful ribbon. Or your ex's guts. If you're lucky.

• During Christmas, he will be incredibly romantic and will give you a lot of gifts. Sure he stole them, but when did you care?

• Whenever possible, he will try to pull you onto his lap so as not to leave the image.

• He will be glad if you make chocolate cookies and milk for him. He liked this treat too much in homes with children who were waiting for the real Santa.

• In this costume, Art will fuck you like never before. He loves his sweet girl so much. And after all these murders, he feels even hotter, so intimacy will be accompanied by the presence of someone else's blood on his red suit. It may be unpleasant and disgusting, but you're already used to it.

• As long as he wears the Santa costume, he feels warm and cozy. Therefore, he becomes even more clingy, Art literally always wants your hugs or just to keep you close.

• The thought of you looking at him while he's making his new sophisticated weapon makes him so damn hot and hard. But he's still so focused on what he's doing that he can't get distracted. But after that, Art will really give you time.

• He's a damn possessive guy, so now people can often spot you in the arms of a weird Santa. Art just doesn't want anyone staring at you with dirty thoughts. It's better to let these rude people look at him, as long as only he can touch and love you.

• He would love to wrap you in wrapping paper and leave you under the tree as a “gift” to see how long it would take you to get rid of the wrapping paper. He would probably laugh if he saw you in agony. Especially if you were wearing some nice but bloody clothes. Art would have found it damn hot.

• Teach this guy to drink and he will often spend evenings with you in the company of wine or something similar. Of course, this is not his style, but the heat from alcohol in his veins vaguely reminds him of adrenaline and the pleasure of killing. Especially if alcohol makes you more relaxed and playful.

• Art won't let you spend Christmas with anyone else. So just decorate the house and, for example, cook a festive dinner. Art will return and you will spend this magical "family" night together.

[whomeidontknowthem]

okay but do you ever think about the inherit twisted intimacy of torture?

two people spending hours together, lost in the same process. fingers on your skin. the only voice you hear for days on end. the only presence you know. the closeness of having your skin be torn apart under their fingers. having another understand perfectly just how much pain you're in. having to rely on them to treat your wounds, being you water and food so you survive and heal. cry before them, break and have your every emotion on display. having them turn into your whole world.

do you get it?

and then -- the way the torturer can use it as another tool.

torture that leans into intimacy. hands stroking your hair as your warm blood pours out of you. soft whispers urging you to stay awake when the pain is overwhelming. strong arms holding you as you cry, those same arms holding you down as you thrush from agony. suddenly gentle fingers pulling your skin back together because you need to heal before you can take more. having your begging be answered with words of comfort that don't stop the torture. waking up to their gentle smile before the pain begins anew. hearing your name on their lips. taking all the comfort from someone who hurts you, because that's the only comfort you'd ever get.

or -- torture that is clinically, intentionally devoid of intimacy. no questions, no words spoken. the only touch you feel is that of the blade and the thick gloves. not being allowed to see their face. knowing no matter how much you beg not a single word of yours will be acknowledged. never being addressed until you forget that you're still a person. being trapped in a hell with not an ounce of comfort. isolation while still seeing someone daily.

or -- a torturer that combines the two. that goes from all the intimacy to none if you do something wrong or if their mood changes. they come in in gloves and you cry and beg to be acknowledged. constant anxiety from not knowing what kind of day it'd be. getting used to their hands closing your wounds before they're gone. breaking down and trying to do your best to fix whatever mistake you've made to have it back. getting used to no skin contact until they take off the gloves. flinching away from touch as if it burns only to immediately lean in. twisted gratitude when they hug you. always fearing losing what little comfort they give you.

you get it, right?

[loganhowlettshousewife]

Okay relating to a recent post, cleaning up Logan after a fight/mission? Maybe you have a kit ready to go when you hear him return, put his favorite pjs on a fluff cycle so they're nice and warm for him. You clean off any blood (maybe a few remaining wounds if it was BAD bad), and wipe down his claws. Maybe shower together, letting you run your fingers through his shampooed hair before getting cozy for the night

I just wanna take care of him

you! you get it!!

comfort

summary: you take care of logan after he comes home from a mission.

cw (treating this like ao3 tags): blood, wound tending, non-sexual intimacy, nudity, not proofread at all, english isn't my first language so beware, reader has hair, i'm pretty sure this is gender neutral but i'm a girl so i may have accidentally added something gendered without realising idk. this is very soft! you can say this is out of character for logan but i believe he's actually a big softie and just wants love!

word count: 1619

logan comes home to you sitting on the couch reading a book. or, well, you’re trying to read, but it’s hard to focus on anything when logan’s out on a mission. you know he can’t die, his regenerative healing factor pretty much guarantees that, and yet there’s still an irrational spark of fear that lives in you, lighting a fire in your heart every time he gets called away by the x-men.

every minute that passes is a dagger, every new star that appears in the sky a reminder of how long he’s been gone. missions for the x-men can be mere hours or last for days, you remind yourself, and time has nothing to do with how dangerous it is.

though logan typically only gets chosen to go on the dangerous missions. he’s not the one they ask to convince new, young mutants to go to the school. he’s too harsh, too jaded.

you immediately drop the book when you hear the sound of the door lightly creaking open. you’re on your feet in an instant, there to catch logan when he falls into your arms, sweaty and bloody and tired - not as much physically, he has insane stamina, but mentally.

“missed you,” he mumbles into your hair, tucking your head under his chin.

“missed you more,” you reply.

you stay like that for a few minutes. you both need the comfort. early on in your relationship, logan would refuse this type of comfort after a mission, claimed he didn’t need it, he’s fought and killed his entire life and never had a sweet thing like you to take care of him when he got back. but you did, you needed to know he was there, with you, a physical presence, proof that nothing terrible had happened to him.

secretly, he revelled in those moments. now, he trusts you enough for those feelings to be spoken out loud, whispered reverently between “i love you”s, declarations of affection and faith. you’re the only one who’s ever been able to get him to open up this way, to verbalise his feelings instead of swallowing them down.

“you’re covered in blood,” you comment, running a hand down his chest.

he shivers, “most of it’s not mine. but they got a few shots in.”

you hum, pulling back to take a better look at him. his shirt is torn in a few places, and in the middle of his chest are multiple neat, round holes in the fabric, small marks showing where bullets pierced his skin. the wound itself has healed, but the blood remains, a visual reminder of the pain your boyfriend was feeling not so long ago.

he may heal quickly, but he still feels pain, feels agony, and your heart shatters at the way others seem to forget that, so quick to put him in the line of fire. he’ll be fine, they say, and while that may be true physically, there’s only so many times a man can play human shield before he breaks.

“let’s get you cleaned up,” you say, the next part of your routine for when he returns from missions. 

it’s a dance you’ve almost perfected, the way he wraps his arms around your waist and you have to walk to the bathroom with him clinging to you. 

he sits down on the closed toilet seat, closing his eyes and letting you do all the work. his claws come out next, stained with the blood of those he harmed and killed, yet you trace them softly all the same. they protect you - he protects you, really, and so you’ll always be grateful for them, even when logan considers them a curse, a stain upon his existence, turning a man into a monster.

you grab a washcloth and dampen it, wiping meticulously at each sharp blade, from his knuckle to the pointed tip of the adamantium. soon, the washcloth is stained a dirty red, almost brown in its appearance, and the metal gleams brightly under the bathroom lights.

there’s an ease to his posture when he retracts his claws, so slight a difference that no one else would have noticed. he told you once that he can feel the blood remaining on his claws when they pull back into his skin, that it’s an uncomfortable reminder that he’s hurt people, that he’s a killer.

he doesn’t clean them himself, says the reminder is necessary. you disagree, and so you took to wiping them down yourself every time he came home after any sort of fight.  

there’s a small spot of blood between each of his knuckles where the claws pierce his skin, the tiniest bit of red that welled up before the cuts could heal themselves and you wipe that away too. then you lean down to press soft kisses to his hands, the part of himself that logan hates most.

he sighs, a shaky exhale leaving him at the sight of you lowering onto your knees to worship him, to prove your adoration.

any other time that would be enough to turn the mood of the evening into something much different, but he isn’t willing to give this up quite yet, this soft intimacy that’s always felt so foreign to him, a type of love he’d convinced himself he would never get to experience.

“i’m gonna go throw our pajamas and a few blankets into the dryer. you can get the shower going in the meantime, ‘kay?” he agrees easily, of course, and you lean up to kiss him, slow and soft.

pulling away is almost physically painful but you manage. you find the fluffy hello kitty pajama pants you originally bought for logan as a joke as well as the matching set you bought yourself and grab the blanket that sits at the foot of your bed, throwing them into the dryer to warm them up.

he sleeps naked most days, a blessing for you, but on his more difficult days he likes to cuddle up to soft, plush fabrics. besides, you like to think that the silly pajama pants bring him comfort, a reminder of your love for him, that you’re thinking about him even at the most inopportune of times.

he’s in the shower when he returns, the water tinged pink as it slides down the hard, muscled planes of his body. you’re quick to undress and join him, stepping under the hot water, feeling it soak into your hair and skin.

“you’re gorgeous,” logan says, grabbing onto your waist with his large hands to pull you to his chest. he brushes your wet hair out of your face. “can’t believe how lucky i am to have you. what did i ever do to deserve you, sweetheart?”

“you don’t have to do anything to deserve me, logan,” you say, “just being you is enough. and really, you do so much for me. every day.”

“loving you is the best thing i ever did,” he admits, “i’m gonna continue to do whatever i need to keep you. wanna be with you until i die.”

you’ve had conversations like these before, usually always in moments of vulnerability, often coming after devastation and horror. he doesn’t say these types of things in the light of day, but he doesn’t take them back later either. they just stay, floating in the air between you.

one day, you think, you’ll be able to have a real conversation about the future with him. it’s a goal to look towards, but he’s not quite there yet, and you’re okay with that. you’re content with what he does tell you, praise that he marks into every inch of your body.

you use your body wash to clean him, knowing he’ll smell faintly of you afterwards, and the possessive part of you is pleased. your hands tangle in his hair, scrubbing the shampoo into his scalp. his head is tilted down so you can have better access. 

it gets harder to finish cleaning him as his body leans into yours, two magnets always seeking each other. 

you exit the shower before him, allowing him a few more seconds under the water pressure to pull the last remnants of tension from his form. you pat yourself dry and then hurriedly grab the garments you’ve thrown into the dryer, stepping back into the humid bathroom as logan turns off the water.

the adrenaline has made way for bone-deep exhaustion, and so you help logan dry off.

it’s peaceful, quiet, as the two of you finish your nighttime routines. he brushes his teeth and watches you do your skincare routine, unwilling to go into your bedroom if you’re not by his side.

he falls asleep before you, for once. typically, he struggles to fall asleep, worried about the nightmares that plague his slumber and the possibility of harming you while unconscious. it’s nice to see him sleeping peacefully, the stern lines of his face flattening into a soft tranquillity that only you get to see.

you can feel your eyelids growing heavy but you need to watch him just a little longer. so you fight the darkness that wants to pull you under, focusing on the hand you have placed on logan’s chest, the way you can feel the steady rising and falling of his breathing, the way his warm skin feels against the palm of your hand. 

“i’ll always come back to you,” he’d told you once when you had expressed the worry that seizes hold of you whenever he’s away for long.

you’re smiling when you fall asleep, those words replaying in your mind. he’s home, with you, and as long as he comes home to you everything will be okay.

[diejager]

Okay so I have kinda a prompt...and I was wondering if you could work your magic and like make it a story.. please :)

Okay so like, *reader* was at a restaurant waiting for ghost, the first date had gone so well, you were thinking of dating him seriously. However, 20 minutes had gone by and he hadn't shown up, nor was he replying to your texts. You glanced down at your phone trying to call him once more when suddenly a familiar skull mask was placed on the table. So you look up with a smile, expecting it to be ghost but it turns out to be könig, and he sits beside you and places a hand on your thigh before whispering, "I think you should be seeing someone else" or something...

Cw: DARKFIC, stalking, implied murder, implied death, obsession, possessive behaviour, tell me if I missed any.

You’d been doing so well, leaving behind the man who’d broken you, who took and took until all that was left was a dried carcass of what you used to be, a fragile version of who you once were. You cut ties with him, left him in the rubble of a shattered relationship and picked up whatever was left of your as you moved away, another city, another province and another country, as far away as you could from the monster. 

And here, you met a gentle man, as scarred and broken as you, only his were physically present, people would gawk and stare at him when yours were hidden, buried beneath your skin and sinew, chained in a spiraling mind of terror and nightmares, but you understood him and he understood you. It was a mutual understanding that you built on, stacking every moment of sorrow and agony, tearful calls and sobbing voice, making it into a tower of affection that you worked beautifully on.

You called him Simon, and he called you love. 

It was perfect, the first shards of friendship that soon became love, an intimacy you were both afraid to commit, but were willing to try, to dip your toes in shark infested waters and test your luck. It started out with subtle touches, his fingertips brushing against yours in fleeting signs of affection; then the gentle pull of his voice, calling your name whenever you were near; and the small tokens of servitude he gave away to you, spoiling you rotten with the money he has. 

It was perfect, the miracle you had always dreamed of, the beautiful thing that filled our bleak world with vibrant coloursand liveliness. You shared a kiss, your soft ones pressed against his dried ones, feeling the coarseness and curve of his lips when they moved against yours. It was a passionate one, filled with worship and love that you were both tempted with. That led to a date, lost in each other’s eyes while you swooned at him, doe-eyed and hopeful for more than what you were unafraid to give, sipping on tea and coffee for any kind of distraction for falling further into the throes of love and devotion. 

You left feeling happy, a smile shining brightly on your face until you got home and screamed out to your heart’s content, confessing to your plants and the ghosts that lived in your walls. You’d been giddy, excited for the second date, seeing the first one went so well, planning the dates and places the second day, organised half a month in advance because you were high on the pleasure. You were ecstatic, jumping to and from the walls and ceiling, like a puppy promised treats. 

And when the day arrived, you dressed up, dolled yourself up for a man your heart came to love and got to the restaurant early —too early. Seated at the reserved table and encouraging yourself with a quick monologue, unaware of the time, the ticking minutes passing in a blink until you realised Simon was twenty minutes late. You knew he wouldn’t stand you up, he was too soft with you for that, he emphasised too much with you to let you go so abruptly, but he hadn’t sent anything, no message or call. You were left wondering and worried, lost in your thoughts with no one but the screen that showed Simon’s number. You might have to-

Something was rudely dropped before you, a black fabric placed in the middle of the your table, it was familiar, but many things were black. You turned, frowning and brows pinched, ready to question the person who’d trashed your table. 

“What-” you choked back a whimper, eyes cloudy as you stared up at cold eyes, a chilling blue that would have frozen seas, “You-”

Your throat closed on itself, breath stuck at the back of it as you stammered, unable to utter a single word towards the giant in your nightmares. You could see the glee in his eyes, the squinted lids that screamed of a cruel grin, malicious yet jovial. 

“It’s time to come back home, Spotzi,” his tone was low, a deep monotone that portrayed nothing, not even a single crumb for you to decipher how he truly felt, “You’ve had your fun with him, nh?” [Sparrow]

Him? You didn’t understand what he meant. Had he meant Simon? König couldn’t be serious, you’d finally found someone who felt the same and emphasised with you, and König wanted to take it all away like he did with your life? You stared down, away from his piercing blues, the chill that ripped through you whenever you gaze at it, wandering down to his bloodied palm- They were bloody, bruised and battered. It couldn’t be, no, you couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t dare —he would, he’d always whispered promises about beating other men to a pulp if they got in the way of his affection - obsession - for you.

Your eyes fearfully strayed from his towering form, glancing at the familiar cloth, catching the faded white of a skull dirtied with streaks of red, spotty and ripped. You recognised it, being so, so familiar with the mask as you were with the man who wore it, the soft browns and fluffy blond, the heavy bags and scars. It was Simon’s mask. A tear rolled down your cheek, falling from the fluttering of your lashes, only to be brushed away by the rough thumb of your captor.

“Do not cry, it’d eventually happen,” his attempts of soothing you were flawed, it only made you cry more, lips shaky and breathlessly choking and whimpering, “If not now, then later.”

He crouched to meet your eyes, head tilted up by your chin for König to admire you, roving over your dolled up face and the clothes you decided to wear for a man that was probably dead in an alley. 

“Come, Spotzi. I have your things packed.”

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami @cassiecasluciluce

[pin-k-ink]

Gojo Satoru X Reader (pt. 1)

pt. 2

CW: teacher-student relationship, male masturbation, lots and lots of sexual tension, third-person perspective

a/n: i just watched miller’s girl last night so this was heavily inspired by it. well…somewhat

Whispers slithered through the hallowed halls of Jujutsu High like ominous serpents - rumors about the scandalous relationship between Gojo Satoru and his sole female student. At first, she dismissed the gossip as absurd. Sure, her mentor could be incorrigibly flirtatious at times, like their first meeting when he mistook her for a new teacher and gallantly swept down to press his lips to her knuckles. Even after she corrected him, the silver-haired sorcerer seemed delighted to have "such a lovely little lady" as his pupil.

He proceeded to give her an unsanctioned personal tour of the dormitories, escorting her to the teachers' quarters, claiming her room was mixed-up just to have her staying close by. Now she has to explain to new students why she’s rooming with that notorious manchild.

The rumors intensified after she officially joined Gojo's class. Though undeniably childish outside the training grounds, he proved an exemplary mentor, deeply familiar with the nuances of her innate techniques. More importantly, he was fiercely protective, exemplified the day he saved her life.

She'd been ambushed during a mission, her ribs crushed by some malevolent spirit. Splayed helpless amid the rubble, she watched in detached horror as the skeletal beast sidled closer, drawn by her agony. Then, a blinding flash of black and white - Gojo had arrived.

The next thing she knew, she was gasping in his arms, pain screaming through her body as he jostled her with calculated roughness. "Glad you didn’t puke on me this time," he teased with a wolfish grin, referencing her violent reaction to her first forced teleportation.

This bizarre, backhanded banter marked the start of a profound intimacy between master and student. What began as a mere academic relationship steadily morphed into something akin to family - perhaps the closest she would ever know. Like now, waiting side-by-side for the train home, his dexterous fingers idly weaving the silken strands of her hair into intricate braids. A futile bribe of mochi had failed to dissuade his pleas to use his teleportation, so she resigned herself to crowded public transit, crumbs inevitably showering her shoulders as he kept himself busy.

Aboard the train, packed amid throngs of exhausted salarymen, she stiffened as unfamiliar calloused fingers trailed up her stockinged thigh. A harsh reminder of her juvenile "uniform" - another of Gojo's juvenile pranks. She clenched her fists, nostrils flaring, determined to withstand this violation with dignity.

Suddenly, a strangled yelp split the air as the unseen hand retreated. She found herself crushed against her mentor's powerful frame, his broad chest pressed to her back, arms enveloping her in an unmistakable claim. His fingers trembled with barely contained fury where they splayed across her abdomen.

After that sickening highway incident, when she awoke battered and bloody amid the wreckage, new rumors swirled about the disturbing closeness between teacher and pupil. Gojo's gentle touch roused her from the hazy brink of consciousness, his thumb swiping some blood from her ashen lips before he murmured, "You look like shit, kid."

From that point, a new routine emerged - one she anticipated with visceral dread, yet perverse longing. In addition to their intensive training regimens, where he enacted relentless "lessons" that seemed calculated to map every aching plane of her body...at night, he would appear in her dorm. Her sanctuary from prying eyes, where he could tend her wounds and brandished injuries with exacting care, stripped down to her underwear.

Even the most casual gestures between them began to carry subtext, like at the school sports festival. One ill-advised taunt from a rival combatant, and Gojo materialized behind her in an instant, hoisting her over his shoulder with barely-veiled possessiveness. His fingers dipped to swat her rear before facing down the offending student, eyes glinting with menace. Mere inches from flaying the young man with his Hollow Purple technique before the principal intervened.

Such public indecencies fueled fevered gossip about the forbidden relationship between the supremely powerful sorcerer and his nubile disciple. Rumors she could neither confirm nor deny...especially after the way he claimed her that night in the sanctum of his apartment.

The celebratory dinner after her sports festival triumph was a blur of italian cuisine and sultry looks. Gojo escorted her back to his flat for "freshening up" before returning to campus. Or so she assumed, until emerging from his steamy bathroom engulfed in a cloud of vapor, wearing nothing but an oversized dress shirt pilfered from his wardrobe. The damp fabric clung like a sensual rumor, outlining her lithe curves in diaphanous definition.

Whatever semblance of self-restraint typically graced Gojo's demeanor nearly disintegrated as he pulled his student into his lap. For a torturous minute, primal instincts threatened to overrule his better judgment - to simply slam her down onto the mattress and fuck her with reckless abandon.

But a flicker of lucidity pierced the haze of lust just in time. This was his precious protégé, the woman who had utterly bewitched him both in body and spirit. He couldn't simply take her like one of his flings. Not without her explicit consent.

Drawing a steadying breath, he reached over to gently take the towel from her hands, using it to slowly dry her hair. All the while, desperately attempting to ignore the insistent throbbing in his groin, the painfully prominent bulge straining against the fabric of his pants.

That night marked the first time he'd allowed himself to truly surrender to the sinful fantasies that so frequently plagued his thoughts when in her presence. As she retreated to her room, Gojo mentally praised his own restraint. But the image of her, draped in nothing but his oversized shirt, branded itself into his psyche.

Only after bidding her a quick goodnight did he seek the solace of his own room to fist his cock with unrestrained fervor, her tempting image fueling each increasingly frantic stroke. When his orgasm finally washed over, her name spilled sacrilegiously from his lips in a guttural rasp.

Come morning, he maintained an aura of unruffled nonchalance around his student, as though the pervious night's events were merely fever dreams. But she could see the hairline fractures in his implacable veneer, instinctively sensing their dynamic had irreversibly shifted after beholding the undisguised hunger burning in his eyes.

Something primal had awoken between them. And neither was prepared to confront the smoldering aftermath.

[badathumanemotions]

MasterList

MDNI AO3 All contain smut unless otherwise indicated Spencer Reid x Reader Feelings of Ecstasy Obsession Still On the Line Blood Lust Trying Something New Play Party Beyond Expectations (V1) Beyond Expectations (V2) Heat of the Moment A New Kind of Intimacy Tasting the Forbidden Sweet Agony Captivating Touch Strength in Submission Out of Hand High Stakes Sweet Cravings Hidden Feelings Expecting A Little Pumpkin (Fluff) My Little Vampire

Elle Greenaway x Spencer Reid Elle Takes a Break Elle's Pursuit

Spencer x Reader x Emily Emily Prentiss Wing Woman Extraordinaire After Hours Tease

Elle Greenaway x Reader Needy Intimate Connections New Sensations Greedy Unwinding Together Stakeout Tender Love and Care Emily Prentiss x Reader Release Passionate Reunion The Velvet Room Stepping Into Desire Turning Up the Heat A Taste of Lust

[gazeofseer]

.ೃ࿐ 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒄𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒀𝒐𝒖 .ೃ࿐

'Life happens once in a momentum in the arms of love, where one expands, envelopes and endears the feel and essence of another life..more than an imagination could smolder less than a strike of a memory it is something so deep it soft yet wavering, painfully so healing'

╔═══════☆♡☆═══════╗

.ೃ࿐ 𝑷𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒏 𝑰𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒆 .ೃ࿐

╚═══════☆♡☆═══════╝

Image.1

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

'Delight, Tender, Soft, Endearing, & Alluring'

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

There is an alluring energy which touches you before it reaches to your heart it is your heart, your sensitive yet stern energy, you feel things first and then think about it later but still it works the best for you I can see you tear up in agony with a smile you know this is life and it is not for the weak ones, it takes efforts of each day to feel it and make it happen everyday.💙🌊

Channeled message from your soulmate/lover

'You felt me last night? I tried to feel you through a hug I gave to myself to know that you may need it to..' 💖🌸

'Energy Is your Intimacy, you like being touched energetically, on a level of magnetic state of vibration and it becomes easy for you to feel the person's life that you love..'

'Words there is something special about exchange of few and suddenly finding or listening to words that feel profound you can try languages to learn..'

'Verg few of you reading this especially if you have water dominant you can have ruffled anxiety which can be calmed with comfort it acts more like a therapy to you by being in a blanket and napping around..'

I see you are not too much into sensual stuff, but you did love kissing I see you always fantasize about having a kiss that feels delightful and stays longer in your heart.

Guidance : Nourish your energy as much as you cherish it sit alone and let yourself clean up too. Through yoga, meditation or journaling..!!

Image.2

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

Safe, Space, Ease, Wind, Natural, Winter

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

You know when you know, you have a great intellect of read when you are in a room full of people, knowing who intends for what be it a touch or a say, but this leaves you in a long hour of overthinking which came be quite exhausting, even in pain you turn numb and isolate yourself, Not independent vibes but too much of expectations vibes you plan and manifest, manifesting on a intend and hitting with no aim at the end makes you feel anxious..no end makes you anxious being stuck and stuff.

Channeled message from your spouse ;

'Dear, Calm down I am whispering peace of assurance by your side, my love won't fall off nor do your life will take it down slow, it is not about race, or people's gaze it is about you love and can't see you worry in vain..' ☘️✨

Touch, And that safe touch you crave from your mother's cuddle and your sister's warmth, the ones you get from touching a baby's cheek you are ethereal and you seek that intimacy in touches of world.

Humor is a very part of your Intimacy not dark ones but ones that just makes you surprised and comes unexpectedly.

Objects, Antiques, have a special intimacy where you feel and touch and feel as if it is yours only yours and it makes you feel content.

Unlike comfort, something stable makes you feel intimately enveloping you are like that bird who loves to feel the ounce of touch of grounds one and then.

Guidance : Do not stop thinking nor do pause, just stop making it the only thing to exist, your thoughts are just impressions that can't leave but needs to be accepted and let it go like wise.

Image.3

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

Sensual, Involvement, Nourishing, Efforts

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

You have major trust issues people turned their back on you in the midway without giving you any clarity or keeping you hung in ignorance and left, they used you for their own benefit and when they had no use of your anymore they left you before you could. This left a deep mark on you get a wisdom that nobody is responsible for the way you feel. People will be happy or sad they don't care what you feel so you have to care the way you feel.

Channeled message from lover/family ;

'I know people have left a hole in you that I can't fill in, but can't I even try once to touch and see if that is empty or just covered in the shade of memories..?'

Sorry but a little pain makes you feel then happiness could, you sense the sorrow first due to which some mental pain affects you physically but you find the hauntingly intense and needful but great that you heal from it like you turn it into your power.

Reality & truth is your best radar to operate from as it keeps you awake and far from any kinds of betrayals or deprivation.

Logical and strategic execution or shall I say out loud that a little seek of perfection feels so good to you. But good control.

You enjoy sensual retreat, be it getting a massage, spa or you seek long hours of release where you get involved in the moment of it's raw nature be it sex or any other retreat.

Guidance : Protection is good as long as perseverance is, anything above is a mere instinct pessimism.

Image.4

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

Caressing, Kisses, Whispers, Tears, Hand locks.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

The masculine and feminine energy is at play, where you be either of it when needed people get confused a lot, about you being different from what they thought you to be. There is a sense of gloom to you but you have one feet at the ground held at hindrance you are a lazy being physically but your mind has many worlds that you have created since childhood, be it one with your person, the one of your career, the one with your family, and much more..oof.

Channeled message from dream person ;

'I do exist in your dream, but what makes you stand apart from your reality is the nightmares I carry as a part of me..'

Your thinking and mind is your Intimacy where you delve into the depths of possibilities in your head and it gives you more fresh perspective on life too.

You love holding hands, something about fingers especially of the back of your hands you may even tattoo on it with pen/henna.

You love quick and witty kisses that of like a one from a sudden space but more tempted and you saw it coming.

Flirting is a part of your Intimacy too because you can't do it with anyone so easily unless they are really close..quite close.

Guidance : It's okay to dream, but doesn't that hurt at times ? It's okay we shall embrace our limit to exist being a human after all.

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

DM FOR BOOKING PAID READINGS

.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐.ೃ࿐

[touyas-multi-purpose-saline]

DAY IV. — FIRST TIME (STUDENT AU)

cw: Fluff, Suggestive Content, Attempt at Humor, Students but 18, Hints at Past Intimacy (Light Fondling), Kissing, Gender-Neutral Reader. 18+ Only!

author's note: I was terrified writing for Shouto because I wasn't as confident with his character. However, I had a lot of fun trying to work this fic out. I hope you enjoy it!

word count: Approximately 1.9k words.

“Well, I mean, perhaps Midoriya’s onto something. There’s absolutely no way that it could have gotten stupider, but then that one guy showed up and—” 

Shouto listens silently while you gesture for him to enter your dorm room before you follow after him, free hand waving in the air mindlessly. The door softly clicks shut behind you, so you lean your back against it to hear the full pop of its latch before you slide off your slippers. Your eyes drift to Shouto, who’s currently standing there awkwardly glancing around with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He turns his head to meet your gaze, so you smile wide and goofy. 

“You saw what happened! Can you believe that he thought I was Pro Hero: Hawks for a solid two weeks at the beginning of the school year? I could barely talk to the guy without Midoriya melting into a puddle of agony.” 

The shag carpets that cover your sticky and cold floor hiss whenever you slide across them in a faux shuffle, and you shake your head side to side to the inaudible beat. Once you get close enough to Shouto, he blinks and then glances away. 

“I think you terrorize Midoriya.” 

A gust of air sputters out of your mouth in a cackle, so you slap your hand across your face and squeeze. Your head dips in between your shoulders. 

“Look, I don’t do it on purpose. I can’t help that he couldn’t handle the sheer amount of simp power I possess. ‘Sides! How come he gets to be such a fanboy of All Might but suddenly it’s a crime whenever I try to be a villain fanboy—” 

“He thinks you’re serious.” 

Whenever you reopen your eyes, Shouto’s mismatched ones are bright and reflecting under the fading rays of sunlight fluttering into the room. Your eyes widen slightly, so you blink them back to normal and cast your focus to the side. 

“Yeah, but it’s kind of funny to tease him. Midoriya gets so riled up! Like today whenever Tetsutetsu barged into your little birthday lunch while he and Kirishima were trying to figure out where the pain goes whenever your leg gets chopped off—he—” 

A hand falls on your shoulder, so you quickly meet Shouto’s eyes again. There’s the tiniest hint of a smile across his face whenever he speaks. 

“They did pose an interesting question, didn’t they?” 

Your wail of laughter nearly flings your body back so you shake your head, shrug Shouto’s hand off, and then stumble a few paces before you flop onto your bed. It bounces underneath your weight, and your body follows its lead. Everything feels weightless for a few moments before you exaggeratedly sigh before your limbs go limp and they fall to dangle. 

“Shouto, you never fail to impress me. Now come over here and sit with me, I had promised to show you the very romantic and thrilling Velocipastor to really send your birthday off with a bang.” 

He doesn’t hesitate, but you can see his eyebrows furrowed by a fraction while he treads the distance. You watch Shouto lower himself onto the bed with a goofy grin. Shouto looks slightly uncomfortable resting on your bed, so you shimmy closer and bump your shoulder into his. You continue to lean against him, and his hair tickles your cheek a little whenever he turns his head to face you. His eyebrows have returned to normal, but now his eyes seem more reserved so you tilt your head and shift your arm to clap between his shoulder blades. 

“C’mon, what’s with that look? Don’t tell me Sero already spoiled the plot for you. I begged him not to do that.” 

Shouto’s head withdraws back a little, eyes opening for a moment before lowering again, and he barely shakes his head. 

“Yes. No. That’s not it.” 

His words sound more clipped than normal, so you start to move away from him. Shouto’s gaze follows the entire time—and if you didn’t want to sound crazy, you could swear that he attempted to follow. You squinted, clambering to sit on your relaxed haunches before you flattened your palms against the bed and hummed. 

“Okay. Tell me what’s up? If you don’t want to watch the movie, then we can just chill for the rest of the night. Or if you’re tired, it won’t hurt my feelings if you need to retire.” 

Shouto moves a little, too, drawing a leg up so that he can mimic your stance. His face doesn’t falter, so you begin to wonder what’s troubling him. You try to reflect on the day, but nothing feels off. Sure, yeah, there were a couple of things that didn’t go quite as planned—such as the Tetsutetsu incident, Bakugou showing up and doing his horrors, Kaminari and Mineta harassment—okay. You’re starting to see opportunities for Shouto to be a little bothered by the hectic dilemmas. It’s understandable, really! You don’t think he’s ever had much of a normal birthday, so you were just trying to be a swag partner and give him something sweet. However, Shouto didn’t seem all too miffed during all of the mishaps. In fact, he even smiled a couple of times, so really what is with that look? You open your mouth to speak, but Shouto is faster. 

“Sero gave me this idea yesterday, so I’ve been waiting to ask.” 

The wind gets knocked out of your puffy lungs, and you crunch a little in the middle. Well, you definitely weren’t expecting that but that’s better than him being genuinely upset. You’d probably get a little peeved at your classmates if Shouto’s birthday was ruined because then you would have to slowly implode them from their chest cavities as revenge. Your head cocks to the side, lashes fluttering and eyebrows arching. 

“Oh, okay. Don’t scare me like that, though! I was worried.” 

You then fix Shouto with a glittery smile. 

“So what do you need to ask?” 

Shouto doesn’t even bat an eye. 

“Would you like to have sex with me?” 

As it would seem, it was your head that imploded, so you straighten your posture and then fix Shouto with a serious countenance. His doesn’t even splinter, so your eyes continue squinting before you lick your suddenly dry lips. 

“Is this a joke?” 

“Why would it be?” 

You don’t falter, and neither does Shouto. Time ticks endlessly, yet you both sit here staring at one another as the sun sinks further into the horizon. Your fingers clench a little against the bed, so you slide them further up and bury them in the pit of your lap. It’s hard to tear your eyes from Shouto’s stoic expression, but you glance down at your knees and hum again. 

“Sounds odd that Sero would put that in your head earnestly. Honestly, I’m surprised it wasn’t Kaminari and Mineta.” 

Silence. 

Your shoulders sag, your eyes roll back into your head, and you toss your head back with a slight lipped moan of agony. The ceiling greets you back, gray and emotionless, and you try to piece through the thoughts zipping through your mind at a lightyear per second. Sure, yes, your boyfriend is hot—ethereally beautiful, pretty, handsome. He’s every synonym in the dictionary and more, but damn if he isn’t accidentally very blunt sometimes. And you’d be lying to yourself if you admitted that you had never thought about pushing him down onto the bed and riding him into oblivion, but you can’t believe Shouto would be the one to suggest getting freaky first. 

You are going to find Sero later and either thank him or obliterate him. 

“So I take it that you don’t want to?”

You jerk up a little, attention immediately returning to Shouto. He’s still staring at you, head slightly tilted now and eyes shining. You can’t even tell if he’d be offended or cool with you saying no, but you’re also unsure of how he’d respond if you said yes. Sero was the one who talked to him about having sex with you, so clearly Shouto must have thought about it, too, but, ohhhh. You’ve kissed him a few times, yeah, and they never really grew more passionately besides some small embraces and a thigh touch here or there. To be frank, you didn’t think Shouto even knew much about anything raunchy—but you suppose there’s only so much you can avoid whenever you hang out with a few of the guys in your class. So perhaps Shouto knows the bare, very very veryyyy bare, basics. Well. 

“I didn’t say that. No, I—Shouto, I’d, um, love to have sex with you but are you sure you’d even want to do something like that? Just because a friend suggested it doesn’t mean that you have to.” 

Shouto draws a little closer, one of his slippers slides off and tumbles to the floor with a few bass thumps. You let the sounds steal your attention, but Shouto quickly shifts his body in a way that blocks your view so you have to face him again. 

“I want to, too. It’s not just because of Sero.” 

Now staring ensues, so you swallow and then start to glance around your room. Your various knicknacks don’t offer wise words, so you have to breathe and collect them on your own. 

“Epic. I mean, we can. Here, let me just—” 

With zero grace and elegance, you start to crawl towards Shouto. He follows, carefully taking off his other slipper and then climbing onto the bed fully with you. His back rests against the wall now, and you nearly trip over yourself whenever you catch those pretty eyes of his again. Shouto looks so calm and collected, but you feel like you’re about to pop like confetti and trickle down everywhere. You have to wonder if he finds this awkward, or if he’s just going with the flow like he normally does. It’s almost intimidating how it seems like he can be solid and unbreakable even in the most dire of situations, but it’s also one of the many reasons you admire him. That realization reassures you, so you regain your senses and crawl until you're hovering near the end of Shouto’s legs. One lays bent on the bed while the other still bends over the edge.

You try not to break Shouto’s gaze before you decide to boldly start to stretch yourself between his two legs. Electricity and excitement course through your veins, and you already start to feel a little lightheaded and he hasn’t even touched you yet. Maybe it’s his heat and chill, maybe it’s the way that his face never greets your own with repulsion or annoyance, maybe it’s the way that he seems to spread his legs a little wider so that you can slot yourself perfectly in between them. He starts to lean his head back until it silently thuds against the wall while your body starts to form a canopy against his chest. 

A slight chuckle leaves your lips. 

“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?” 

One of Shouto’s hands carefully presses against the small of your back, fingers and thumbs fanned out. 

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?” 

A smile snakes across your lips before you lean in to kiss Shouto, the words a balmy whisper against his mouth. 

“You’re so cute, Shouto,” 

punctuates itself with a kiss. 

[woodenanemone]

In my perspective, Choso is a man who could genuinely become lovesick and insane for you.

There’s nothing more that he seeks from life. You’re it. Tears fill his eyes in quiet moments when he thinks about just how lucky he is. How perfect you are for him. Just your pure existence alone brings the man to heaving breaths and panicked hands running through his hair, silently longing for his mind to just shut up and his heart to calm down. He’s… slightly terrified of you, actually.

Terrified of how unaffected he feels when thinking about hurting someone for you. Of the happiness he feels swell in his heart when he thinks about ending his own life to see a smile on your face. The sheer influence your eyes have over his body; how they increase the amount of blood running through his body, how they dot sweat across his hairline, creates a tremble in his lip and hands, the tears, oh the tears. They come in waves, when the realization that he is completely and wholly devoted to you hits him once again.

He’s also terrified of the power your lips have over his thoughts. It’s a little disturbing how often his mind will wander to the wonderful thing that is your lips. You make him want nothing more than to talk to you for hours on end— with the way your lips move, the way they form letters and words and sentences… he can’t stand the thought of him saying more than five words at a time. It’s truly just a waste of his breath if it’s taking away from the sight of your lips moving. His search history is full of questions such as “deep conversation prompts”, and “how to get someone talking for hours”. Watching your lips form such precious conversation that he stores deep in the crevices of his memory, can send the man into a fit of pure psychosis. The thought of your lips on his has yet to cross his mind; just the beauty and shape and color of your lips bring him to his knees on its own. But when it does, he has to physically hold his chest. It occurs when he’s watching a movie with Yuuji one night, the boy had long since fallen asleep on the armchair, leaving Choso to view the film he had no sort of desire to see, but had yet to switch off. He couldn’t care to remember the name, something corny. But when he saw the female actress pull the male actor into an embrace, her hands spread across his cheeks as she brought him towards her— their faces drew together slowly, his eyes flickering from her eyes to her lips, Choso found himself leaning forward on the couch, eyebrows slightly furrowing in anticipation. And there was a pause. A pause between the two actors, before their lips laid on the other’s.

A short breath of air escaped the man as he stared at this seemingly private moment, but he couldn’t look away. The way the man’s hands slithered up to cup her face so carefully, tilting his head to get more of her, to feel more of her… oh he couldn’t take it. Choso quickly switched off the TV, as if it offended him, staring at the black screen as he reflected on what he had just witnessed. Sure, he was familiar with kisses. He had accidentally seen a young couple or two wrestling with their tongues in an all too inappropriate setting. He’d always avert his eyes quickly, feeling uncomfortable and invasive. But he’s never seen it like that. Although it was shot with a script in mind, the care and the intimacy in that kiss were too heartbreaking for him at that moment, he had to clutch the skin above his heart in fear that the rapid rhythm would soon kill him. The fact that it was nothing more than a job for them, and yet there was still that amount of passion—but as he continued to think and reflect, the actors’ lips morphing into his own, and the actresses into yours— he let out an audible sound of agony, throwing his back against the back of the couch, finding himself mourning over the loss of his free will over his heart, his life. Saddened for the loss of his sanity, feeling nothing but joy at your control of his soul… he knew that was far from sane thinking.

Those lips, paired with your voice, oh he’s genuinely going to throw up. He gets sick at the sound of his own voice at some point. The fact that he’s speaking right now, as is in he’s preventing your pretty voice from filling the air and blessing his ears, is truly sickening. He wishes he could just transport his responses and conversation prompts into your brain, so you never have to pause your talking. He could never get bored of your talking. Every word you speak, every thought you convey, every joke that you tell (that sometimes flies over his head. but he laughs anyway.) is kept away in his poor, aching heart for safekeeping, he adores every single sound out of your lips. He knows there are times where you don’t want to speak, and that’s more than okay with him. He’ll gladly fill in the air with nonsense, or let the silence keep its place in the room, he doesn’t mind. The communication between your eyes is enough to fill the conversation for both of you.

He stares a lot. Like… a lot. But he can’t help it, and he’s certainly not going to stop. How could he just ignore your presence like that? To ignore your deep eyes, the curve of your nose, the sweet color of your lips, and the rise of your throat as you swallow your dinner would be a transgression he wouldn’t dare commit. It’s an insult to you and to himself to look away from you. The overpowering beauty that is you is an art that must be gazed upon, and to be admired. To be awed at. To be wept over, to be absolutely crazy about. And he was all of the above. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you far too long than what’s considered normal. It’s like you’re a character on a screen, and he’s a hopeless viewer, gushing over how addicting this character is, obsessively creating fantasies full of you you you, unable to break free of your voice, the shape of your face, the sight of your smile. But he isn’t a spectator, he’s here, he’s with you, and you’re with him. He can touch you (if he so dared… he doesn’t think he has the heart to invade your personal space.), he can speak to you, and you can respond. The realization that you’re not a silly figment of his imagination, or cast for a role on a screen he can only spectate, sends him into a spiral.

You control everything about him. Every thought, every pump of his enslaved heart, every tear that falls from his lovesick eyes, is all for you. You carry his heart, soul, and very existence in those (precious, pretty, delicate, oh he just wants to kiss every knuckle—) hands of yours. He’d beg for you, he would get on his hands and his knees and put his head to the ground as he just pleads for you… anything you wanted, he’d do it. You torment his life, his very being, and he craves for more.

He’s yours, he’s yours.

im soo normal about choso el oh el

[imaginedisish]

Night Shift (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Okay, time to cry everyone! This took so long. Simply imagine protective!Logan comforting you after a nightmare. Now we're all sobbing, right? Cool. Using "Night Shift" by Lucy Dacus at the title, but def more inspired by "I Wanna Be Yours" by Arctic Monkeys. Enjoy guys!

Summary: Logan hears you having a nightmare while pacing through the mansion, and is there to pick up the pieces.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! SMUT! Dry humping, Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), cockwarming, servicedom!Logan vibes, softdom!Logan, soft!Logan, non-sexual intimacy to sexual intimacy, protective!Logan, possessive!Logan, feelings, fluff, allusions to death/violence, angst, hurt to comfort, friends to lovers, nightmares, afab!reader/f!reader, cursing, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it!

Word Count: 4,447 this was supposed to be short lol

Logan is the only one awake. He is always the only one awake at this hour—plagued by his inability to sleep. He walks down the halls, pacing around the mansion. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t been walking past your door the most—he’s not a creep, he’s just protective. It feels good to hear the sound of your breathing with his heightened senses; feels good to know that you’re safe on the other side of the door. 

He walks down your hallway for the fourth time tonight, stopping in front of your door. He expects to hear nothing save for your soft, rhythmic breathing. But he’s met with something else this time, and his heart immediately drops. 

He listens as panicked grunts fall from your lips. He puts his ear to the door. He can smell your sweat. He can hear your heart beating rapidly. And then you grunt again—sounding more like a yelp this time. He can feel your fear as if it’s his own. Something is wrong.

He knocks on the door. “You okay?” He calls, but you don’t answer. He knocks again. “Princess?” All he can hear on the other side of the door are your groans, growing louder, and the shuffling of sheets. “I’m coming in,” he says, twisting the knob and pushing the door open. 

He sees you in the center of your bed, moonlight pushing through your curtains and illuminating your body. He rushes over to you. You’re writhing, your head tossing from side to side. It’s just a nightmare, but the sight of you in pain—the sight of you struggling—it hurts him. He wants to pull you into his chest and kiss the pain away. But he resolves himself to simply waking you up—to doing the friendly, platonic thing.

He rushes to the side of your bed and pulls the covers down, instantly struggling to ignore that you’re sleeping in only a skimpy tank top and panties. He’s no better, wearing just his boxers. He feels like he’s crossing a line; he’s certainly seeing something he shouldn’t be. But he knows you need him, and that outweighs everything. 

He gently grabs your shoulders and shakes softly. “Wake up, sweetheart,” he says, his voice a shot in the darkness. 

You whisper a please in your sleep, your brows furrowing in agony. “D-don’t hurt him,” you mutter, your eyes shut tight.

Logan shakes harder this time. “Come on, darlin’,” he coaches, his voice louder now. “Wake up for me, please.” You whimper in response, eyes still closed. Tears stream down your cheeks. He wants to wipe them dry, to kiss the lines of tears that stain your skin.

“Logan,” you cry, and he thinks maybe you’re waking up. But you’re still trembling underneath him, your chest heaving, your eyes closed under those furrowed brows that make his heart hurt. He climbs into the bed, straddling you, his hands on your shoulders. 

“Wake up, darlin’, please,” he tries again, shaking you harder. And this time it works—your eyes flutter open. 

You feel relief at the sight of Logan. You can feel him on top of you—solid, warm. Alive. You had dreamed that he died…in your arms.

“You’re okay,” he soothes, his arms wrapping around your back, pulling you tightly against him. You bury your face into his chest, folding into him, his fingertips trailing up and down your back. “It was just a nightmare.”

“I’m so sorry,” you shudder, tears streaming down your face. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Logan hushes you, cradling you, gently rocking you back and forth. “Didn’t wake me, pretty girl, don’t apologize.” He presses a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. “Just relax, I’ve got you.”

You feel slightly embarrassed, being held like a child. But the feeling doesn’t last long—the comfort of Logan’s arms around you outweighs the guilt you feel for being a burden on him. All that melts away as you lean into his touch, his lips peppering kisses to the side of your head. You feel safe, protected, like nothing can touch you. 

“What was the dream about?” He asks, his voice quiet in the darkness.

You sniffle, your head aching as visions of your dream drag painfully through your head. “Lost you,” you murmur, and it’s all you can manage to say. The rest hurts too much to remember. 

“You didn’t lose me,” Logan whispers. “I’m still here.” You sob into his chest, his words lulling the pain. He pulls you under the covers, rolling over so that you’re on top of him, and he’s resting against the headboard. “I’m gonna stay with you, okay?”

“Please,” you choke. “Don’t go. Don’t leave.” It breaks Logan’s heart—splits him in two, hearing you like this. He knows what this feels like—knows how real nightmares can be. He wants to take your pain away, to take it on himself and feel it for you. He’d do anything to make you feel good—to make you feel whole again. 

“You don’t have to beg, darlin’,” he coos, squeezing you tightly against his bare chest, hoping the heaviness of his arms around your body feels relieving.  “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’ll stay all night.”

You can feel your breathing stabilizing, can feel the steady stream of tears slowing as Logan holds you tighter. Your heart thunders in your chest and you hiccup, your headache subsiding with every trace of Logan’s fingertips across your back. He draws circles, stars, letters. And then two curves—c’s—no, a heart. He does it again. And again. 

“Thank you,” you pant, your throat dry and hoarse from crying. 

Logan presses another kiss to the crown of your head. “Nothing to thank me for, princess,” he says softly. “You should drink some water.” He sits up, keeping one arm tight around your back as he reaches to your nightstand, grabbing the cold glass off the table. 

You lift your head from his chest, and he brings the glass to your lips, tipping it back carefully, slowly pouring the water past your lips. You swallow, the water hydrating your throat, and filling your belly. It’s so cold, so good. You drain the glass, and Logan places the empty cup onto the nightstand. He tugs you back into his chest. 

You’re lying in his lap—your body situated between his legs, your head pressed into the center of his chest. You can hear his heart beating steadily. It’s calming, rhythmic, proof that he’s really here, that he’s alive and with you.  

“How do you feel?” He husks, drawing what feels like another heart into your back. You’re significantly better now. The pain—physical and emotional—is just a minor sting, like a spotty stain, merely short, frustrating flashes of imagery. 

“Better,” you whisper. But you wonder if Logan is asking to see if he’s done his job—if you’re recovered enough for him to leave. You sit up a bit. “I’m okay, if you wanted to go back to your room.”

“Do you want me to?” He asks, tugging you down. Your legs thoughtlessly tangle with his, silently begging him to stay, drawing him closer, your body communicating more than your words can.

“Not really,” you say honestly, looking up at Logan. He’s smiling softly at you. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead. “Don’t wanna be anywhere else, darlin’.” You lay back down on him, burying your face into the crook of his neck. You can smell him—musk and pine, a hint of mint on his breath, leather on his skin, his clean shampoo in his hair. You hope you’ll still smell him on your sheets and pillowcases long after he’s gone. 

It’s dizzying to have him this close—so distracting that you don’t fully realize what you’re doing until you’ve already done it: your lips pressed against Logan’s neck, placing soft kiss after soft kiss to his pulse point. It’s instinctual, second nature. Logan’s hands travel down to your lower back, feeling you, holding you in place against him. He groans softly, the sound sending a pulse to your core. It snaps you back to reality, and you stop your kisses. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, slightly panicked. “Didn’t mean to—"

Logan’s hands travel further south, tracing the curve of your ass, and landing on the backs of your thighs. He lifts your thighs and spreads them apart so that you’re straddling him. “Felt good,” he husks, his nails grazing your ass as he trails back up, his hands settling on your hips. “You apologize too much, pretty girl.” 

You lift your head from his neck, coming out of hiding. His eyes find yours, and he grips your hips tightly—so hard he might bruise, and you hope he does. Your heart hammers against your ribcage. 

He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing worth seeing in the world. His head is tilted to the side, his smile reaching his eyes—the way it does when he’s truly happy. Your heart flutters at the sight. He shakes his head. “Look at you,” he mumbles, his forehead pressing to yours. “You’re so beautiful.”

He buries his face into the crook of your neck, copying you, kissing your pulse point. “F-fuck,” you mumble, heat rising to your chest. “What’re you doing?” you ask, moaning. Your arousal pours between your thighs—liquid heat. 

“Making you feel good,” he says, like it’s a well-known fact—something to be assumed. “Taking care of you.”

“Lo…” you whine, trailing off as he nips at your skin. He loosens his grip on your hips, his arms wrapping around your waist, his fingers brushing your lower back. “S’nice,” is all you can manage to say, your chest heaving against his. 

He smiles into your neck. “Relax,” he huffs, his lips pressing open-mouthed kisses to your sensitive skin. “I’ve got you. Nothing to be nervous about.”

You lean into him, heat prickling your skin. You’re suddenly aware of how naked you are—only wearing a tank top and panties. Logan’s fingertips slide up, tugging at the hem of your top, slipping underneath. His palms spread against your shoulder blades, massaging gently. You moan his name, caving into his touch, your hips bucking against his. 

“Feels g-good,” you stutter, pressing your face to the side of his head as he bites down on your pulse point again. “Want you, Lo,” you choke out. Your hands absent-mindedly trail down his bare back, your nails digging into his flesh. Logan grunts against your neck before pulling away. His hands find your hips again.

He presses his forehead to yours. “You sure you want this, pretty girl?” he whispers, his fingers digging into your skin, gently rocking you against him. “Give you anything you want. Just wanna be sure you really want this.” 

“Yes, fuck,” you whine. “Wanna feel you. Need you closer.” He knows what you really mean. He’s felt it too—he’s woken up in the middle of the night and resisted the urge to walk down the hall and into your room; to pull you into his chest and beg to let him fuck you—to let him taste you. He held back. 

Now he doesn’t have to. 

His lips find yours, soft and languid at first. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you—doesn’t want to scare you away. He wants to make you feel good, to remind you that he’s here and he’s breathing. He’s real, warm, solid—a soft place to land. His lips meld with yours, moving together. 

“Gonna take care of you,” Logan mumbles between kisses. “Gonna take the pain away, beautiful.” His teeth graze your lower lip, his tongue darting out to lick away the sting. “Wanna make you feel good.”

“Y-you always make me feel good,” you stammer. “Just what you do,” you confess, the words falling freely, slipping out of their own volition.

Logan smiles against your lips. “Yeah? Don’t even have to do anything?” 

You shake your head. “No,” you breathe. “You’re enough.” 

You both know there’s more to those words; Logan’s heart squeezes in his chest as they wrack through his brain. He swallows harshly, fighting the tears brimming in the corners of his eyes. You bring your hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks. “You’re enough, Lo,” you repeat, wanting him to hear the stretch of every syllable. 

He brings one hand to the back of your neck while his other hand firmly grips your hip, his forehead pressing to yours. “So are you,” he whispers, working his jaw. His hips rock against yours, his erection sliding against your core. “Perfect girl.” 

Your eyes flutter shut as his lips find yours again, swallowing your moans. He guides your hips and drags you down his cock with one hand, while the other holds your neck tightly, keeping you pressed to him. His tongue slips past your lips, tangling with yours, tasting you. He needs you like he needs oxygen. And you need him. He’s engulfing you like a wildfire, his touch searing your skin, making you his. But you’ve always been his. And he’s always been yours. 

His teeth graze your lower lip. You can feel his hunger, his desperation growing. His erection strains against his boxers, bumping against your clit as you grind down on him. Your hands slide down to his neck, his shoulders, his sides, until your fingers bump into the hem of his boxers. You hook your thumbs into the waistband and tug, trying to pull them down. You need him now—need to feel full of him. 

But Logan grabs your wrists tightly, without breaking the kiss. He holds you in place, assertively forcing your arms around your back. “Let me take care of you first,” he says, letting go of your wrists, wrapping his arms around your waist, and guiding you down to the mattress. 

He hovers over you—balancing on his forearm—and presses a chaste kiss to your lips before trailing down to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. His lips brush against the straps of your top, his free hand sliding up your stomach, his fingertips playing with the hem. He mumbles a soft fuck against your skin. 

“So beautiful,” he husks, hiking up your top, revealing your breasts. You sit up, helping him tug it over your head, and he throws it into the darkness of your room. His free hand immediately finds your chest, palming your flesh, rolling your pebbled nipples under his thumb—one after the other. You arch your back into his touch, searching for more friction, for more of Logan. You need all of him, and you need him now. 

“Please,” you beg. He crawls down your body, looking up at you under half-lidded eyes. He kisses down the valley of your breasts, to your stomach, and stops just above the hem of your panties. “Need you so bad.” 

“I know, sweetheart,” Logan soothes, hooking his fingers into your waistband and tugging your panties down your legs. “Need you too.” He throws your panties to the side and brings his palms to your thighs, pushing them open. He settles between your legs, taking a deep breath. 

“Fuck. Can smell you, you know,” his voice is gruff and deep. “Can’t even tell you how many times I’ve thought about doing this.” His tongue suddenly pushes through your folds, swiping slowly up to your clit. Tension you didn’t know you were holding on to escapes your body, and you melt into the mattress. He grunts against you. “Tastes so good. So sweet.” 

He licks another long stripe through your folds, his tongue flat against your heat. He flicks your clit, pulling the bud between his lips and sucking. Your eyes roll into the back of your head at the sensation. Logan’s left hand slips under your thigh, tugging you closer as he buries his face into your cunt. 

“Logan,” you whine, your walls contracting around nothing. His right hand crawls up your inner thigh, climbing towards your heat. It’s like he knows just what your body needs, like he can read your mind. His fingers finally find your core, teasing your folds as he draws tight, rapid circles around your clit with his tongue. 

He nudges against your entrance, slowly pushing his fingers inside. You gasp as he fills you up, his fingers long and thick, stretching you out. “So good,” you moan. You chant his name, whispering soft thank yous as he pulls his fingers out and pumps back in. 

You’re a whimpering mess underneath him, his teeth grazing your clit as he pulls the bud back into his mouth and sucks, harder this time. “Sound so pretty when you whine for me,” Logan praises, thrusting his fingers deeper inside—down to his knuckles—only to pull out and plunge back in all the way again. “Love those little noises, darlin’. Could listen all day.”

His fingers drag against your walls, working you open. He’s devouring you, his face buried between your thighs, his tongue circling your clit. It’s all-consuming, the way he pulls you closer, the way he laps at you relentlessly. He groans against your cunt, and you realize this makes him feel good, too. He’s getting off on it—tasting you, making you whimper. 

He looks up at you, catching your stare, and smiles against your cunt before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking roughly. Your walls contract and release around his fingers. “That felt good?” He asks, smirking against you and sucking again. 

“Yes,” you moan. He picks up his pace, his fingers sliding in and out of your entrance, hitting that sweet spot deep inside with every thrust. You’re so close, and Logan knows. “L-Lo,” you stutter, your chest heaving. “Can I…” you trail off, your eyes fluttering closed as his fingers fuck into you. 

“What do you need, pretty girl?” His tongue swirls around your clit, lapping at you, drawing those tight, rapid circles. He feels your walls clench down around him. “Need to come?” He asks teasingly. “Don’t need to ask, pretty girl, just let go for me,” he coos, sucking on your clit between sentences. “Next time I’ll make you beg for it.”

Fuck. Heat runs down your spine, pouring deep from within your belly, pleasure pulsing through your veins. You’re slipping, melting, falling, down, down, down, crashing. Logan, you chant. Logan. “That’s it, such a good girl,” Logan praises. Everything is searing, hot—his tongue lapping at your clit, his fingers thrusting deep inside you. You’re trembling underneath him as he works you through your orgasm, his tongue drawing slow, soothing strokes against your clit. His thrusts slow to a stop, his fingers stalling inside you. 

He pulls out of you and licks another long stripe through your folds. You can tell he wants more. “Could eat this pretty pussy all night, sweetheart,” he mumbles against you, forcing himself away from your cunt. Your release glistens on his chin and his bottom lip, his tongue darting out, savoring every last drop of you. He climbs up your body, hovering over you again, pressing his forehead to yours. 

You wrap your arms around his back, pulling his body down so that his chest is flush with yours. “Need more of you,” you beg, bucking your hips against his. “Need you inside.” 

Logan swallows harshly, nodding his head as he sits up and tugs his boxers down his legs. His cock springs free against his stomach, and your breath catches in your throat at the sight. He lowers back down over you, resting on his forearm. 

He slots himself between your legs, his hand at the base of his cock, guiding himself to your entrance. “Are you sure you want this?” He asks, his tip brushing through your folds. His eyes search yours. “Because once we do this…” He trails off, his jaw working. “I won’t be able to stop,” he pauses again. “Won’t be able to go back.” 

You smile softly. “That’s okay. I don’t wanna stop,” you whisper. “I wanna be yours.”

His lips are on yours, starving, all-consuming, and then he’s plunging into you, down to the hilt with one thrust. “Fuck,” he groans, his cock throbbing inside you. “You feel so good, so perfect,” he murmurs, still deep inside, splitting you open. “So goddamn tight.” He finally moves, sliding out only to thrust back in, bottoming out again. “S-soft, so warm.”

Logan’s hand trails down your stomach, slipping between where your bodies connect to find your clit. His thumb strokes a soft circle into the sensitive bud, your back arching off the mattress at the sensation. “Logan,” you whine, his hips rocking against yours as he builds his pace. “So good,” you hiccup. 

“Taking me so well,” Logan grunts, drawing tight circles into your clit as he fucks into you, his pumps growing faster with each hit. “You have no idea how much I needed you.” His cock drags along your walls, his hips snapping against yours. “No idea how many nights I walked by your door…” He pauses, his Adam’s apple bobbing as your walls flutter around him, squeezing him. “Needed to feel you, to be close to you, to fuck you.”

You curse under your breath as he rams into you. “Needed you, too,” you moan. “Always needed you, Logan. Always gonna need you.” His cock twitches at your words. You watch as his abs flex, his muscles tightening and releasing with every thrust. 

Logan’s thumb flicks your clit roughly, adding pressure, drawing harder circles around the bud. “Never gonna let go of you, pretty girl,” he husks, his lips finding yours again. The kiss is sloppy, reckless. He bites your lip and sucks hard. It’s bruising, almost as animalistic as the way he pumps into you, unrelentingly, with no end in sight. 

“Don’t want you to,” you say. It’s a plea, a prayer. “W-want you to stay.” 

His cock twitches inside you again, throbbing against your walls. You know he’s close, and so are you. “Always gonna stay,” he mumbles against your bitten lips. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Your muscles contract and release, squeezing him tightly as his hips rut into yours. Logan pinches your clit between his rough circles, pushing you closer and closer to that edge. 

“Fuck,” you curse, your thighs shaking as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. It gives him a new angle to fuck into you, better leverage. He’s suddenly so much deeper, stretching you out all over again, hitting that sweet spot inside you with every thrust. 

“You feel so perfect,” he groans, his skin slapping against yours. “Wanna fuck you forever, pretty girl.”

“Y-you can,” you choke out between his harsh thrusts. “Wh-whatever you want. ‘M’yours.”

Logan moans your name, his hips sputtering. “Mine,” he mutters, his pace faltering, his cock throbbing. “My fucking pussy.” His forehead presses to yours again, his resolve melting. “My girl.” His fingers swirl around your clit, faster, harder. It’s all too much; you’re so overstimulated, so overwhelmed. 

“Please,” you beg, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes, your emotions running high. You can feel yourself spilling over, ready to burst. “Wanna…” You trail off, your eyes fluttering closed. 

“Come on, beautiful,” Logan chides, his hips snapping into yours. “Look at me. Wanna see those pretty eyes when you come.” You listen, your eyes fluttering open. His gaze is trained on yours, unwavering, constant. “Be a good girl and come with me, princess,” he demands, his voice deep and dark. “Know you can do it for me.”

Your vision blurs, but you keep your eyes open as pleasure wracks through your body. “That’s it,” Logan praises, your walls clenching down around him. It’s forceful and sudden, electricity buzzing through your bones, liquid heat bubbling at the bottom of your belly. 

Logan is right behind you, his cock throbbing inside you. You tighten your legs around his waist, keeping him close. “Don’t pull out,” you whisper. “Please.”  

He groans, your name rolling off his tongue as he fills you up, painting your walls. “Did so good for me, pretty girl,” he mumbles against the shell of your ear as he finishes deep inside you. “So fucking good.”

He pumps gently, in and out, slowing down until his hips stall. He stays inside, his chest heaving against yours. He draws one more soothing circle into your clit before his fingertips drag up your body, his arms sliding under your back. He rolls you over so that you’re straddling him, lying on his chest. 

“You feel okay?” He asks, his voice soft and low. 

“Perfect,” you answer, drunk off him, fucked out beyond belief. You didn’t know something could feel that good.

He hums. “Good,” he whispers. “This okay?” he asks, his arms tight around your back, holding you against him, his cock still half-hard, buried inside you. 

You nod and murmur a quiet yes, burying your face into the center of his chest. “Want you to stay inside all night.” You need him to stay, need to keep him close. 

“Whatever you want, princess.”

You lay in silence for a while, listening to his breathing, to the rhythm of his heartbeat. It’s calming, soothing. His fingertips run up and down your back. 

You finally break the silence. “Thank you,” you whisper into the darkness.

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “For what?” He asks, his voice raspy and tired.

“For being there,” you say, letting your eyes flutter closed. “When I needed you.”

“Always gonna be there,” he husks. “Always gonna care about you.” He takes a deep breath, breaking his pattern, his rhythim. His heart beats faster. You can feel him tensing up. You lift your head from his chest, your eyes meeting his. 

“You okay?” You ask, tilting your head to the side.

Logan just smiles. “I love you.”

Your eyes widen and your heart drops, your stomach somersaulting at his words. “I love you too,” you say back. 

Logan’s smile widens and he tugs you back down to his chest. “Thank you,” he says, repeating your words back to you. 

It’s your turn now. “For what?”

“For loving me for what I am.”

You shake your head. “You have no idea how easy that is to do.” You let your heavy eyes fall closed. “You are enough Logan. More than enough. You’re perfect.”

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “So are you, darlin’.” You can hear the crack in his voice. He clears his throat. “So are you.”

tags: @wolverinesslut @wittyjasontodd @galacticglitterglue @silversprings-mp3 @zxaera @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @alastorssimp @alsoprettyinpink @prettyseaveins @ilysmdovie12 @evasmlp @derbygracie @rammakela @honeyfewr @ricefordays-blog1 @manipulatour @

[vaokses]

I worked the blade to make it deeper

Series Masterlist / General Masterlist

Pairing: Aegon x Rhaenyra's Daughter!Reader

Summary: Nearly two years have gone by since you left with your mother for Dragonstone, and yet your absence is as sharp as the first day. Rumors spread through King's Landing about how a Tyrell knight has captured your heart, and these rumors haunt Aegon, from the Keep to the taverns, leading him, drunk and reckless, to a brothel in the Street of Silk. Not in search of comfort, or in search of some illusion of you to keep him company through the night, but in search of something else.

Word Count: 4.4k 

Warnings: 18+. Smut (slight). Prostitution. Dubious consent. Drunkenness, alcohol consumption. Voyeurism. Self-harming or self-destructive actions/thoughts. Aegon's head is not in a good place at all. Descriptions/Allusions to panic attacks. A lot of angst, just a lot of it. Hurt and no comfort. Allusions to bad BDSM practices. I write this with sub!Aegon in mind, by the way, I don't know how explicit it is in this work, but it's there, and I'm warning you in case it's not your cup of tea. If I missed any warning tags, I apologize, and please let me know.

Some AU/Setting stuff: Same universe as How long this love can hold its breath and the Pirtir series. This takes place nearly a year before the beginning of the story, around four or so months before the other Aegon PoV chapter. You don't need to read either to read this tho.

A/N: So, I couldn't get this idea out of my head. It mixes some of book!Aegon's approach to intimacy/sex because I find it really interesting. This is just a lot of angst, but his character is so fucking sad, I can't help myself. I'll write some fluff for him at some point, I promise.

Title is from "Love opened a mortal wound. In agony, I worked the blade to make it deeper." by Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz.

All of this would be easier if he could just forget, Aegon gathers. If he could just forget about you, about what he lost and what he didn’t have, then everything would be easier. The quiet of the Keep wouldn’t feel so deafening, the future ahead of him would be a tad less unbearable. 

And he wouldn’t be sneaking around like an idiot, eavesdropping on his mother and his grandsire’s conversation because he heard your name. 

“That boy will hand the Blacks the Reach if we do not step in,” Alicent argues, voice laden with worry. “His father is old, and he hasn’t inherited his judiciousness, his restraint.” 

“Lord Alisdair might still bend, once the Princess leaves Highgarden and his blood cools. Nothing makes a man as bold as a woman’s smile.” 

“Her smile, or the promise of her hand?” 

Aegon feels as if a weight had been dropped on his chest, and yet he does not even think about tearing himself away from here, about ceasing in his listening for any news of you. The closest he can get to you, nowadays. 

“No arrangements have been made yet, and if t-…” 

“My lord husband will approve if Rhaenyra asks this of him, you know this. He will wed her granddaughter to the Tyrell boy himself if it is her who asks.” 

“Has she asked?”  

A few beats of silence, the seconds before an executioner’s sword finds a neck. 

“It is a matter of time.” 

___ 

It is as natural as breathing, to Aegon, to escape the confines of the Red Keep by now, to evade his guards and sneak into the city.  

Now he sits alone -he shrunk from his usual company, he isn’t sure even why-,  nursing yet another jug of mead and chasing languidly for the welcome stupor of a stiff drink, and finds that not even here do you stop tormenting him. 

“My sister was there for the tourney in Highgarden,” A woman comments, carelessly loud as she speaks to the group of people sitting with her, a table away from Aegon’s. “She said the eldest of House Redwyne gifted the Princess a mare.” 

“As dragon food?” The man she sits on the lap of asks, prompting her to laugh. 

“I would like a mare as a gift,” One of the girls argues, at another’s scoff arguing, “What? What is wrong with that?” 

“The Princess rides Vermithor. What is a fucking horse against the second largest dragon in the world?” 

The wench that is sent to refill Aegon’s drink presses against him unnecessarily, and her hand traces over his shoulders as she moves away. He feels her gaze on him, watching raptly to see if he follows her with his own gaze, if he wishes to play along. 

He mislikes this, these games, playing pretend at seduction. It feels even more false than it already is, fucking a woman, if she likes pretending she wants something beyond the tenuous oblivion they can find in one another. 

“You gather she’s coming here anytime soon?” The man from the other table asks, diverting his attention to them -to you- once again. 

“I don’t think so. Everyone would be scurrying about in preparation. Whenever there’s something brewing up in the Keep we have more work months ahead.” 

“I hear she’ll summer in Highgarden.” One of the younger girls comments. 

The old woman’s laughter is shrill, grating. Gloating, almost. At least that is what it sounds like, to him. 

“Of course she is. Alasdair Tyrell has returned from the Shield Islands, and victorious at that. Made them swear to her cause, apparently.” 

“To Rhaenyra’s?” 

“No.” 

Silence follows the simple answer. Aegon motions for the wench to refill his drink, which she doesn’t do quickly enough. 

“Oh,” The man breathes. Short little chuckles escape his chest, and he praises, “Clever lad, eh?” 

“‘Tis quite a wedding gift, is it not?” 

Aegon takes fast, perhaps hurried, gulps from the flagon, but the mead isn’t enough to drown out their voices. 

“So she has agreed to it?” 

“She is a young girl, and he a knight who has more than proven his devotion. He doesn’t have her hand yet, but I’d bet he has her heart.” 

“So it isn’t just Vermithor she wants to ride,” The man boasts, followed by what sounds like a slap. “Ow!” 

“‘Tis the future Queen you speak of, you fool.” 

He should stop himself, but he doesn’t want to. Aegon turns to them and asks,  

“And the future wife of Lord Tyrell, no?” 

“My Prince.” One -or a few, he doesn’t really care- of them greets, and a few heads bow, but he motions their empty platitudes away. 

“It is a…a joyous thing, a betrothal. And one made for love, at that,” He smiles at them, but they don’t smile back. They look at him like he’s seen hunters look at cornered beasts, they look at him as if they’re afraid of him. “We don’t see much of those nowadays, do we?” 

“No, my Prince.” The older man agrees, still cautious. 

He isn’t an idiot, he knows that he wasn’t…that you don’t feel for him what he does for you, that you don’t think about him as often as he thinks about you. But some part of him, foolish and perhaps more than a little masochistic, still hoped the truth might be another. 

Still hoped, against hope, against reason, that you might one day return, that you might still choose him. 

“A cause for celebration then, isn’t it?” He asks, standing up and swaying slightly on his feet. Their faces are guarded, careful, and though he makes his best attempt at another smile, shameless and debauched, it seems they see through it. He pushes on, “Drinks for all! On me!” 

He plays along, he plays his part, for a while. The mead keeps flowing, and when it ceases, he switches to wine. Watered down and tasteless, but it washes away the ashes the memory of you leaves on his tongue. 

And the loud voices and cheers of the people in the tavern drown out even his thoughts for a while, but he finds that tonight the wine does not make his thoughts any easier to bear. It seems instead to make them louder, to make the ache deep in his chest sharper, worse. 

As the night goes on, his thoughts get louder and the crowd around him quieter as they return to their homes, and Aegon refuses to return to the quiet, the solitude, of the Red Keep. 

___ 

Long ago, years ago, he would come to places such as this and ask them to be soft with him, to hold him and treat him gently, to be what he imagined you would be -what he glimpsed at, what he had, for however short a while it was-, to grant him what he supposed he might have had, were you to have stayed. 

But he understood fairly quickly that it just made everything worse, that it made the absence much sharper, the emptiness gnaw at him with renewed strength; and so he started refusing them whenever they tried to offer anything gentle. They did it wrong, anyways, it just made him feel brittle and cold and alone, and he prefers the distance, and the oblivion it provides, over the hollowness that their false warmth leaves him with. 

The months and then the years went by, and you never returned, not even a glimpse of you and Vermithor on the distant skies, not even a short visit with your family, not even a fucking letter; and Aegon can no longer hold on to the fantasy that you might have wanted him, that you could have loved him. 

He gathers that it was for the better, that the illusion has shattered. It makes it easier, to find oblivion buried in some whore or another, to have his nights away from the Keep be the reprieve they ought to be. It makes it easier to make things quiet again, to lose himself when he can force his useless heart out of the way.  

But he often trips on it. His heart, that is. 

And sometimes his yearning overpowers his reason, and he finds himself searching for a shadow of you, a version of you that still wants him. Despite the ache and the absence, he still can’t bring himself to ask any of the women to pretend to care for him, to pretend to love him, anymore. 

He tells himself it is enough that they look like you when the lights are dim and wine clouds his senses, that they don’t say anything when it is your name he calls out. He tells himself it is enough to have this, and that to ask for more would be to ask to be torn open. 

But the absence remains, the hollowness remains, a void gnawing away at him, hungrier and hungrier the longer he indulges in foolish illusions, in tricks of the light.  

At his weakest, he asks them to prove to him what he already knows to be true. That you, fantasy or real, illusion or not, do not care for him, do not love him. That you, upon knowing what he has made out of himself, aware of what they will ask him to become, have come to hate him. So he asks them to hurt him, to refuse him, to turn away from him.  

He doesn’t understand why he does it, why he still chases after that when it leaves him just as empty as asking for anything else does. He doesn’t understand the part of him that finds comfort in his own ruin. 

He doesn’t understand why he comes here, why he is restless as he crosses the doors into the familiar brothel, why he feels his throat close up at the sounds and scents of this place, why his chest feels tight with something between desperation and dread as he sets out to…to do what it takes to make his thoughts stop, to make himself understand that he must forget. 

He finds the one he’s looking for fairly easily, long silver hair and deep red dress amidst a sea of heads of dark hair and half-naked bodies. Her back is turned to him, and the wine makes the sight resemble a familiar dream for a moment, and his breath catches. 

But when he reaches her and she turns to face him, the face isn’t a familiar one, the eyes are wrong, and the smile is a mockery of yours. 

He still extends a hand, wordless, to ask her to join him. 

It’s almost funny, that for all he despises his ancestry, what he has inherited; in the eyes of any of the patrons of this establishment he is but another Targaryen man, looking to get it wet only with the ones that, real or no, reflect the blood of a lost world. 

It is preferrable that they don’t know any better. He’d rather be his father’s son than the fool that yearns for a woman he cannot have. 

Aegon isn’t sure why he’s doing this, why he has come here, why tonight the wine has made the pain only sharper, more unbearable. He isn’t sure if he’s punishing himself, for being as stupid as to allow himself to hope you’d return to him; or if he’s just resigning himself to the truth that is, forcing himself to shatter with his own hands, before his very eyes, the fantasy of what could have been. 

But he wants this, he…he needs this.  

“And you,” He calls out, pointing to a well-built young man with warm eyes and chestnut hair. Quite close to a knight. Quite close to a Tyrell, even. Aegon offers him a smile, wide and lecherous. It is a lie, but it is one he himself believes, and the false merriment keeps him safe. “You will join us.” 

The man takes Aegon’s free hand, and he lets them lead him to a private room, of dim lights and of air heavy with incense. In the midst of the hanging curtains, the many candles, and the huge bed in the center of it all, Aegon feels for a moment as if he’s suffocating. 

“What can we do for you, my Prince?” The woman asks, voice low, sultry, dripping with false sweetness. 

A nauseating blend of anxiousness and dread rise within him, and though he reaches for the glass of wine on a nearby table, downing the drink in two gulps in an attempt to chase these feelings away, they linger. 

Aegon watches, numbly, as the man reaches for a pitcher and refills his cup without a word. It is welcome, almost a comfort, the weight of a full glass in his hand. 

“I…I want to watch,” Aegon admits, voice hoarse in what he absently hopes they confuse with lust. “The two of you. I want to watch the two of you.” 

There’s a chair near the bed but far enough, aimed towards it. He has the absent thought of how many must come here not for participation but for a show, and Aegon tries clinging to that small observation, amuse himself to thoughts of what others come to do in these places; but his mind, anticipating and yet dreading what is to come, lingers on the present. 

His gaze, unfocused and staring at nothing but the faint memories he wishes would leave him, cannot look at them as the man and woman undress and sit together in bed, looking at him.  

He cannot look at them, and yet he feels their gazes on him. He feels as if he were the one naked, the one on display, asked to put up a show. 

“My Prince?” The woman calls out, forcing his eyes to focus on her. 

She awaits instruction, and he finds he can’t give it. 

It is a painful reality, a mortifying truth, that he does not know how to offer softness, gentleness. Or how to receive it. Or how to witness it, even. 

In losing you, he gathers he also lost the part of him that knew of the softness of a gentle touch, that knew how not to shatter at the thought of warmth. 

And now he can’t even make this…this pretender, already a poor mimicry of you, portray your warmth, the gentleness of your affection; and Aegon cannot even witness a glimpse of the warmth and the softness that you surely now give freely to that fool on the far end of the world. 

It dawns on him then, that he has forgotten pieces of you, that he has lost part of you to time and to distance. And realization isn’t a weight dropped on his chest, or the ground giving in under his feet, no; realization is a slow pressure, a shrinking tunnel, an exhale that left him too late to realize he wouldn’t be able to inhale again. 

He grabs for the cup with shaking fingers, grips it so tight he fears it might crack, and downs the rest of the drink. But the numbness is escaping him, slipping like sand between his fingers, and the haziness has given way to something much worse, to a quickly-beating heart and thoughts chasing themselves in circles. 

And all the wine does now is make him feel as if he’s only further drowning, further losing whatever grasp he has at himself. He still drinks. 

What can he tell her? That he wishes to be hurt, punished, for his weakness, for his faults? That he wishes to see what he has lost, what he never had, what he never will have?  

That he wants for the thoughts to stop, for the pain to stop, and he only knows how to escape them with this, with sex; but the memory of you lingers too close, a knife wedged next to his heart, for him to even consider enduring another’s touch tonight? 

He tells her the truth instead, and if instead of a command it sounds like an accusation, he does not care. 

“You love him.”  

It is all the instruction he can give. He does not know what love looks like, what love feels like, so even if she doesn’t either and the act is a poor one, Aegon won’t know the difference. 

The man and woman fall easily into the parts they must play, pressing their bodies together and sharing a deep kiss, letting their hands explore each other slowly, with the pace of two people with all the time in the world, with the calm of those who have promised each other a lifetime. Aegon watches, and the nakedness of their bodies does not seem lewd, instead it betrays an intimacy, a warmth, that makes the void in his chest awaken with an oppressive sort of longing. 

Aegon’s gaze lingers on him, on the ‘knight’. He finds he cannot look away, and it isn’t jealousy that overwhelms him, or anger; instead, all that fills his him at the sight is dread, and morbid fascination.  

The man’s fingers are buried within her, his lips at her throat, and Aegon feels as if a knife were slowly embedded somewhere within his chest. With each breath, the knife digs deeper, tears further at an old wound, and yet he doesn’t look away. Instead, his breath quickens. 

And he knows it’s an act, that they’re playing at sharing a love they do not know or have, but he doesn’t know it or have it either, and sitting here he only feels more alone.  

But he cannot join them. Because you do not want him. 

After what he isn’t sure if it is a moment or an eternity, darkened gazes flicker to him, awaiting his permission, his command, to go on, with quickened breaths. Though for a moment Aegon finds himself staring back, unmoored and uncertain, he quickly recovers and stutters a response to go on with it. 

The man grunts a curse against her breasts as he enters her in one swift motion, and she sighs at the feeling, hoarse little moan rumbling past her lips as she adjusts to having him inside her. 

They start moving together, and though the sight before him is an objectively alluring one, and if nothing else he should be able to focus on the sounds leaving their lips, on the sound and scent of sex filling the room, Aegon finds himself not even slightly aroused. 

Then again, he didn’t expect to. He might enjoy pain sometimes, and perhaps even seek it, but seeing a mirror -however muddied, however imperfect- of the woman he loves making love to someone else is something out of a nightmare, not something he might enjoy stroking his cock to.  

He didn’t think it’d hurt like this, though. He feels useless tears stinging at his eyes, and his breath hitches, because he expected it to hurt, but he didn’t think it’d torture him like this. 

And yet he can’t bring himself to stop them, feels undeserving of intruding upon their -your-, however false, love. With a breathed little laugh that only further blurs the lines between the reality of two paid whores acting out what he wants and the mirages of two people on the far end of the world, the woman switches their positions, straddling him. 

Unprompted, the man sits up, mouths at her neck as she aligns his cock with her cunt again. Slowly, sensually, she starts riding him. 

Aegon sniffles, tries hiding a stuttered breath, and leans forward. What he means to sound like an order, like an instruction, is voiced instead as a plea,  

“H-…I want you to hold him, while…while you ride him. Hold him against you.” 

She does as he commands, and the sight of their embrace is enough to force Aegon to look away, flinch away from pain as sharp as a hit. He reaches for the pitcher of wine, movements hurried and jittery, and pours himself another glass, uncaring that it spills. 

He gives another order, another command. One after another. He tells the man, for he is naught but a lucky fool that doesn’t even see the fortune bestowed upon him, how to touch you, how to make you feel good, how to make you his.  

They lose themselves in each other, waiting for no further instruction, exchanging caresses and kisses and breathed moans as they move together, as one. 

Aegon feels his composure, weak and brittle as it was already, begin to crumble. His hands grip at the armrests of the chair and tears burn at his eyes. He’s trembling, but neither of them stop, because neither of you notice, because you have each other, and he does not matter. 

He shakes his head, tries thinking clearly past the daze of alcohol and grief, and reminds himself it’s them. They’re strangers, they’re pretenders. He clings to that reminder. 

And yet each whispered word that they share, each shared breath, each tender touch, it feels as if it’s mocking him, taunting him with what he cannot have, what he can only watch from afar. 

The effect of the wine and the tears spilling from his eyes blur the edges of his vision, making the already stifling room seem smaller, the air thicker. Each breath feels pulled from his lungs, his body at the command of someone else, because he still cannot look away. 

He understands better than ever why Helaena presses her palms to her ears when the crowds get too loud. He wants nothing more than to cover his ears, close his eyes, hide himself and get away. Why is he here, why is he doing this? 

He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want to see this. He doesn’t want this to happen. And yet he can’t stop watching, why can’t he stop this? 

She’s close to the edge, he can tell, and while he needs for this to be over, he cannot stand the thought of it at the same time. 

It is unbearable, and he stands from that chair, not to approach them but to step away. The room spins around him, his balance fails him, his voice fails him. 

She clings to him, hides her face in the knight’s neck and away from Aegon’s view. She looks like you, and she sounds like you, and he lost you he lost you he lost you. 

“Tell him you love him.” The voice is his, but not really, and he hears it from far away, from somewhere beyond the panicked cadence of his breaths, from a dream in which it is your love for him that Aegon asks to hear. 

You bring your knight closer to you, hand tangling in short tresses of chestnut hair. Your mouth is close to his ear, your voice a breath, a promise Aegon knows he shouldn’t be allowed to hear,  

“I love you.” 

You shatter, and so does Aegon. 

Her cry of pleasure and the knight’s mask the horrified sob that leaves Aegon’s chest at what he has done, at what he has tainted; and in their shared ecstasy they thankfully do not see him squeeze his eyes shut and cravenly look away, face crumpled in agony. 

He stumbles back onto the chair, some absent voice in the back of his mind reminding him it is unfitting of a prince to fall on the ground, that the people cannot see him on his knees. 

He thought he’d be in control, that if he commanded them, if he was… 

His thoughts matter not, what he expected matters not. The fantasy, painful as it was, has shattered, and the jagged pieces of it dig into him like glass. 

Aegon slumps in the chair, his body exhausted and worn. He feels used, wretched, and despite the weariness consuming his very bones, his mind remains restless, agitated. 

And the silence that lingers after they are done is worse, almost. He cannot bear to look at them.

“You…you can leave,” He tells them. A breath, two, and with a rush of energy he doesn’t have, Aegon stands up instead. The movement feels uneven, exaggerated, and he grabs at the back of the chair to keep himself from falling over. With his free hand, he gestures at them to stay where they are, and corrects himself, “I-I will leave. I’m…I’m the one intruding, am I not?” 

They don’t laugh, so he does. Or he tries to, but what leaves him is this manic little sound, this choked sob. 

He moves to leave the room, but he stumbles over his own feet, and thankfully catches himself on a nearby pillar. He needs to get out. 

Everything is too much, too bright, too loud, too painful, and he cannot escape it. In his head still resonates the breathed I love you. 

Why would you say that to him? He…he’s nothing, he doesn’t… 

No, no. Aegon squeezes his eyes shut and reminds himself that it wasn’t you, it was her. The impostor, that…that poor mimicry of you.  

And he instructed her to say that. Why did he do that? 

He wanted to fill the emptiness inside him, to…to quieten it all for a few moments, he didn’t want…he didn’t want this. But the void within him grows, and it hungers, and it tears away at pieces of him, breath by breath. 

He stumbles out of the pleasure house on trembling legs, but doesn’t make it far before his labored breaths become too quick, too uneven. The air that enters his lungs hurriedly, stutteringly, over and over, still isn’t enough for him to breathe. 

Aegon staggers into a nearby alley, clawing desperately at the brick wall in an attempt to keep himself grounded, to keep himself from breaking, from falling. 

He still does, between labored breaths and memories that taste of ash, he crumbles under the weight of his disgust and his hatred at himself, at what he does, at what he failed to do; and falls onto the cold ground. 

Back against the wall of the empty alley, Aegon brings his knees to his chest, and hugs them close to himself, head bowed and eyes shut tight as he tries forgetting.  

I would love to hear your thoughts on this! My askbox is always open for questions or comments, and soon I think I'll be taking requests.

I should have waited to post this (I posted the first chapter of Pirtir today) but I couldn't help myself. This was so fun to write. I find these themes really interesting, and I want to delve into them again in the future. I have some stuff planned but they're still a bit further ahead in the posting schedule.

Thank you for reading!

[captain039]

PART 6 (Last Part) He’s Grumpy, I’m sunshine

Alpha!Logan x omega!reader

Warnings: AOB, age gap (legal), light swearing, grumpy/sunshine, anxiety, mental health issues, intimacy, violence, torture, plus size reader, medication usage for anxiety, depression and sleeping, heat pills, scent blockers, angst, hurt/comfort, PTSD, trauma

Set at Charles school

Your mutation: fire creation and control

Previous part <-

You haven’t left your room for a week you think. You sat in the corner mostly, your body would engulf in flames and you scream out in pain before exhaustion took over and they stopped before your body would regenerate. You’ve melted the door shut in the bomb shelter training area. Nobody could get through that or the thick concrete walls so you stay here making yourself safe making everyone else safe.

It feels more than dying an agony deep in the pit of your heart and stomach. It’s not just the pain it’s being away from him. You didn’t realise how much you truely imprinted on him, how you truely believed in that cell he was your alpha, it was the only thing that kept you going. You don’t feet hunger or thirst, thankfully there was a small bathroom through a little door in the shelter you could use. You hadn’t showered though, you don’t think you’ve brushed your teeth either. Charles tries to speak to you, Jean tries too but you just engulf in flames and cry out in pain knowing they feel it too. You want to rot away, wither into the ground or burn to death. You can’t die though, whatever they did it succeeded and you cannot die. No matter how much you burn you always heal too quickly always in between the stage of major burns and healing skin. You can’t cry anymore, barely able to move from this cold floor.

The doors ruined covered in slash marks and dents. He’s tried getting in so many times and failed. It kills him, he thinks that this is truely what dying feels like. Charles had kept you stable the whole flight and like a machine you walked down to the old bomb shelter and sealed yourself in. He hears every time you shout in agony before you pass out, his knuckles go raw and bloody every time before they heal. He’s begged Jean and Charles to do something but every time they try to connect there’s your pain in their features and they can’t hold even while you sleep. He hasn’t left the door since you got here, he knows he smells and his stomach is hollow. Jean brings him food and water but he doesn’t eat, knowing you’re not eating. He saw everything they did to you, made him watch like it was a damn cinema. Watched you burn yourself to death then heal just as quick. Watched every time they brought you back to the table, the exhaustion in your features, the sunken ness of your eyes, the black bags and pale skin before the regeneration kicked in. He knew though, knew you were exhausted and ready to give up and all he could do was watch. This woman that captured you both was a legacy of William Stryker same kind of fucked up though. She kept him on a heel, forcing him to give blood, bone marrow, tissue samples whatever the hell they wanted. He knew that look of panic to well and seeing it on your innocent face broke his heart. He was yours body and soul, heart and mind, he needed to be with you right now, needed to help you, help his omega.

You jolt when a red flash blares through the door and Logan’s raging in. Your whole body goes on edge begging him to stay the hell away so you don’t hurt him. He’s pissed or so you think, the look on his face, tight jaw and stern eyes as he quickly covers the length of the bunker. You sob and beg him not to come close but he’s there, arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. You feel like lead and breathe him in fully. Your body reacts to your alpha and you almost collapse. You cry now, a burst dam down your face as he holds you tightly. Your arms go around him holding yourself as close as you can to him. You stay like that till you can’t cry anymore and exhaustion takes over.

“Logan” you mumble feeling like you’re going to collapse.

“I got you” he whispers. He smells just as bad as you, but his alpha scent is fully through your senses.

“We’re going to go have a bath, and get some sleep” he says, it’s not a request though and all you can do is nod.

“Up” his hands move to your thighs and you flush.

“Logan I’m too he-“ you go speak looking to him.

“Up, omega” he repeats and raises an eyebrow. You manage to jump and he lifts you easily, your arms going around his neck and his under your thighs. You rest your head on his shoulder, walk past Jean and Charles. You can’t look at them so you hide your face. You’re worried about engulfing in flames again, the simmering anxiety always there. He walks to the upper level, going down the hall before going into a room, his room.

“Logan” you mutter.

“I’ll burn everything down in here” you add with guilt. He thinks about it knows your right and lets out a small growl before he’s turning and heading to the direction of your room. He sets you down on the bed, that’s been replaced, as has the carpet and bedside tables. You run your hands over the sheets a light grey colour. Logan heads to the bathroom and starts to run the water before he’s back out in the bedroom. He closes the door and locks it before turning back to you. He looks worn out, probably how you look too, his hair a mess his beard unkept. You see the tears well in his eyes and feel it pang in your stomach.

“I’m sorry” you mutter trying to control your emotions.

“No, no don’t you dare apologise” he’s over quickly hands cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears. He takes a small breath closes his eyes as a tear rolls down his cheek. He presses your foreheads together as you cry. His thumb caresses your cheek as you lift a hand to hold his wrist.

“The bath” you mutter and he curses before going to the bathroom. He comes back out, leaning down to pick you up again, but you stand in shaky legs. You give him a small smile and he sighs but allows you to walk to the bathroom. You don’t dare look at the mirror as you settle down to sit on the toilet to take your shoes and socks off. Logan’s there instantly though the alpha kneeling and taking off your shoes and socks which no doubt stink. You’re embarrassed but he doesn’t care, his brows frowning as he concentrates. He glared at the suit given to you by the people who captured you and he growls softly. You cup his face this time and his eyes are instantly on you softening. You stroke his cheek feeling the course hair before you gulp a little and lean closer. He meets you and presses his lips to yours in a soft kiss that has you melting.

“Sorry” you mutter dropping your hands.

“Why?” He frowns a little breathless.

“My breath stinks” you mumble and he laughs the noise waking up something inside you as you smile.

“Bath’ll get cold” he says softly and you nod. You stand as he does and curse this suit. You strip without thinking, wanting to be rid of it. You glare at it as you kick it off with shaky legs before glancing up to Logan who has turned his back to you. You lift your hand to his shoulder only to freeze when you see flames dancing along your skin.

“Logan get out!” You yell in a panic as he turns around and sees your arm.

“Omega! Omega calm down” he says as you shake and whimper. He whispers your name softly a few times hands cupping your face as you try to back away. You’ve closed your eyes too scared to open them.

“Look at me” he whispers and you shake your head.

“Look at me omega” he says and your forced too open them. You breathe deeply seeing that they’re only flickering softly before disappearing. You stare at your arms then his face as he nods.

“Easy” he says softly and you nod. He helps you into the bath eyes never leaving your face as you sigh and feel your muscles relax. He goes to the bathroom cupboard, grabs out some new soaps, shampoo and conditioner, a sponge and a hair brush. He empty’s a container and rinses it out before lying on the bathtub side. He wets the sponge before showing you two bottles of body wash. You point to the left and he pours some on before gently washing your arms and shoulders. You feel hot again, your cheeks no doubt red at the affection the alpha gives you. Neither of you say a word and when you find flames dancing on your skin he sends out calming alpha pheromones to calm you down instantly. He washes your hair with gentle care and tenderness, you try to hide your tears as they come but your alpha knows as he mutters soft words. he presses kisses to your head your temples, your cheek while he washes you. You’ve washed and brushed your teeth, the waters gone cold though and you silently wish it didn’t so you could stay here. He dips his hand in the water and frowns though.

“Come on” he helps you out and wraps a towel around you before his arms go around you too.

“You’ll get wet” you mumble and he grunts in response making roll your eyes slightly.

“You need a shower too�� you mutter.

“Saying I stink?” He says teasing to his tone as you huff quietly.

“I am” you tease back hearing and feeling him chuckle against you.

“Go dry and get dressed, I’ll be there in a minute” he mutters against your head before he presses his lips to it and lets you go.

“Take more than a minute please” you quietly sass and he growls teasingly before you leave the bathroom.

You sit on the bed in the towel, staring at the floor as images flash through your mind of what happened. You take a small breath listening to the shower as you walk over to the wardrobe. You put on some pyjamas and dry your hair before the shower stops. You feel. Numb. You’re clean thankfully but numb, you need to sleep, a proper sleep not passing out from exhaustion and waking up in agony. You need to find out what the hell they did to you too. Logan can’t stay here, your alpha can’t stay here not while you’re unstable, he may regenerate, but your fire, they’ve done something to it, made it even more dangerous.

You leave Logan, in the morning and go down to the training bunker. There’s a small bedroom attached to the bathroom where you stay. The doors been fixed already thankfully. It’s safer down here for everyone including your alpha.

“What are you doing down here?” You hear Logan’s gravely voice and sigh.

“I am trying to protect you! Can’t you see that I will kill you now!” You yell without thinking.

“Then do it, I don’t care” his voice is low and deadly serious and you struggle to breathe as you walk out the room and meet him in the bunker.

“You don’t get to choose where I stay or go” he says eyes narrow and brows furrowed.

“What part of I will kill you don’t you understand!” You shouldn’t yell at him, certainly not an alpha as strong as him.

“I will burn you, they did something to me!” You add body getting hotter and flames dancing on your skin.

“And I watched! I saw every fucking thing!” He growls back and your eyes go wide.

“They made me stay in a cell and watch like I was in a damn cinema with front row seats” he’s an inch away from you and your body trembles.

“I’m staying right here by my omegas side whether she likes it or not, burn me to hell I don’t care” his eyes are intense and you sag defeated.

“Look at me” he mutters and you lift your head.

“I’m yours, I’m not going anywhere, you’ll control it, Jean and Charles will figure it out whatever they did to you” he cups your cheeks and you melt against the alpha.

“You’re my omega it’s my job as alpha to protect, provide and care for you” you feel tears well in your eyes and give a small nod.

“Ok?” He whispers.

“Ok”

Taglist:

@beanhardy

@gimmethatdilf

@the141bandicoot

@twinky-wink

@bontensbabygirl

@meowmeowyoongles

[littlefireball]

Can we so get a version of Seongwha like F*ck away the pain? Seongwha is a clean freak so I'd love to see this side of him

Here you go~~ btw there is an exact same request lol

Other members (fk away the pain series): yeosang

ꜱʜ|ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴜᴘ ꜱ*x (ᴀ/ᴍ)

ʙᴜɴɴʏ ʜʏʙʀɪᴅ ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ x ꜰᴏx ʜʏʙʀɪᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ|ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ|ᴀʀɢᴜᴍᴇɴᴛ|ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ ꜱᴇx|ɴᴇᴄᴋ ᴋɪꜱꜱ|ʙʀᴇᴀꜱᴛ ᴘʟᴀʏ|ꜱᴇx ᴅᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴘᴇʀɪᴏᴅ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.9ᴋ

You and Seonghwa have been apart for a week. It was unusual for you both to be separated for so long, as you were used to spending everyday together. There was no choice, however, a pressing matter awaited at the residence that demanded immediate attention.

You neglected to inform Seonghwa of your early return, opting instead to delight him with a surprise. Stealthily making your way into the house, you caught sight of him seated in his favorite chair.

"BA~BY~~" You leaped onto Seonghwa's back, unaware of the fact that he was holding a cup of noodles. "Goodness gracious!" Due to your unexpected jump, he inadvertently spilled noodles all over the legos.

"Oh my…" He straightened up abruptly, releasing your grip from his neck. "Have you returned?" His expression soon shifted from surprise to a hint of annoyance. "Well…yes. My apologies." Sigh "Let me clean up first" The tension in the air was palpable, especially since it was his beloved limited edition legos that was now in disarray.

His silence left you speechless, unsure of what to say next. Okay, look at what you've done. The entire desktop became a mess, not to mention his legos were all dirty─what he hated most as a clean freak.

"I'm sorry…" He glanced at you with impatience." "Can you be careful next time? You know it's hard to clean oil stains?! " His composed demeanor swiftly shifted to a slightly fierce one, his voice escalating in volume. His outburst, unlike anything you've witnessed before, sent a shiver down your spine. Coupled with your current irritable mood due to menstruation, his unexpected anger only fueled your own frustration.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" You shouted back. "But you are the one who made this mess!" Despite your strong urge to argue, you chose to maintain silence. Observing him meticulously restore his legos while muttering to himself, you swiftly retreated to your room to grant yourself solitude.

Feeling aggrieved, tears began to flow. Normally, you wouldn't cry easily, but the fact that you were on period slipped your mind. What followed such a display of emotion? The excruciating cramps that grip your stomach relentlessly. You gasped in agony as your body contorted in pain. Clutching your stomach, you struggled to sit up straight, let alone to take painkillers or call for help.

"Y/N?" Upon tidying up the desk, he pondered whether he had been too harsh with you, prompting him to seek you out but you had no response. 'Was she still angry?' "Y/N?I come in now." To his surprise, he found you huddled in a cocoon of pillows and blankets, your complexion pallid and your expression distressed.

"Y/N?Are you okay?Are you in heat? But there is no scent…" Alarmed, he hurried to your side to assess your condition, only to discover that you were in pain. You looked pale, drawn, and sweaty, as if something was torturing you.

"It's just on my period…" "Is it painful?But you won't be hurt before. Do you want some water?Or painkillers? Or something?" He gently caressed your head, his eyes filled with concern. You shook your head, taking his hand and placing it beneath your cheek. "I'm…fine…" Your furrowed brow betrayed your true feelings. As a fox hybrid, you knew that intimacy could alleviate menstrual pain, but you couldn't bring yourself to ask him. How could a rabbit, so obsessed with cleanliness, agree to such a request?

"Sorry, hwa.I didn't mean to. I know I am sweaty now and I'll wash the sheet." You pouted, your fox ears dropped.

"Why are you saying sorry? It's fine, baby. Let's not talk about this, okay? What can I do for you to reduce the pain, hm?" He comforted you softly while caressing your fluffy fox ears.

"Please don't be mad…" You hugged the pillow filled with his scent tightly, said "I want you…fuck me…" "Yo─you said what??" "Intimacy could reduce menstrual pain in foxes…" You hesitated, avoiding his eyes as you nestled into the soft pillow. A heavy silence lingered, intensifying your discomfort. It was no surprise that he reacted this way. He probably viewed you as unclean and not willing to help you.

"Forget what I said…I'll take the painkillers…seonghwa?" Strangely, you found him not in the room. Your attention was drawn to a faint noise, the gentle clinking of objects brushing against each other. As the door creaked open, Seonghwa stood before you, clutching a dry towel, a wet towel, a box of tissues and a plastic bag.

After placing down the objects on the table, he climbed over the bed, gently leaving your thighs and putting the dry towel under your body. "Hwa?" "It's okay, honey, I'm here to help you." As you watched him lift up your dress and pull down your panties, you held his hand to stop him.

"It's dirty…You don't have to do this, I can take the pill." He pecked at the back of your hand, whispering gently. "Taking too many pills is not good for your body and let me make it up to you. I'm sorry I was too tough." "I'm sorry, too."

Seonghwa caressed your head and placed a kiss on your cheek, giving you a sweet smile. "Let me help you then." With utmost care, he placed your foot on the ground, positioning you on the bed in a L shape. He removed your panties and set them aside, ensuring not a drop of blood tainted the fabric. However, upon witnessing the sight of your bloody hole, he hesitated momentarily. "It's fine, hwa. I can drink some hot water to reduce the pain…" "Everything is okay, honey." He wrapped up the condom before aiming at your entrance, slowly entering without hurting you.

Your tail puffed up as his cock fitted you perfectly, causing you to bite your lips not to make a sound. "Let me adjust first, honey." Wrapping by blood was weird, he could tell. It was hot and sticky, but indeed was a good lubricant. He found he can slide into your deepest part thanks to your blood. Maybe he could feel better just by thinking that it was not your blood but cum.

Slowly, he adjusted the feeling and thrusted into you. You were so sensitive that you moaned at the slightest touch to your sweet spot. "Fuck, honey, you are sensitive." He propped himself with both of his arms on either side of you, drew his hips and slid into your deepest area until he could not go further. "Ah~hwa~" The bed creaked as Seonghwa rolled his hip at a fast pace, you grasped the bedside and moaned choppy.

"I can't baby, it feels good." His hand trailed to your tail, caressing from bottom to top. He knew you loved it, badly. "Oh─oh!Gosh, hwa~ah!" Your wall tightened around his long cock as the numbness almost overwhelmed you and the period pain was gradually replaced. The musk scent belonging to you filled in the air combined with his sweet strawberry scent, fueling the desire within your bodies.

Seonghwa laid beside you and made sure the towel was still in the right place. "I love your scent so much." He couldn't help but bury himself into your crook of neck without breaking the thrust. Both of your left leg and tail were pushed forward to allow him to enter deeper. His hand trailed down to the hem of your dress, climbing up to your breast, kneading and squeezing it.

The electrifying sensation cascaded through your being, causing you to gasp in delight. You adored the way his form molded against yours, his imposing presence making you feel petite, while his intoxicating aroma surrounded you like a warm embrace, promising endless waves of ecstasy. You could cum multiple times because of this feeling.

But that's not enough. He licked the back of your ear, the sound of his tongue against your skin stimulating your nerves, making you tremble; his lips gradually moved downwards, planting shallow kisses on your nape, sucking on your fine skin, leaving faint red marks.

"Honey, are you okay right now?" His soft voice made you awake temporarily. "Yah, yah." He stopped thrusting and cupped your face, made you look at him. "Can I go rough?You can say no if you don't want to." "I can, please." Upon hearing your answer, he flipped you over to make your chest pressed against the sheet.

"Tell me if I'm too rough." You nodded, sensing the bed dip under his weight. He smoothly slid you once more, pressing against your back, his cock buried deeply in this particular angle. Contrary to the tenderness before, he pounded in and out with primal intensity. "Shit!!Fuck!Hwa!" Your derriere quivered with each rapid thrust, the delicate caress proving irresistible. He groaned uninhibitedly, reveling in the sheer pleasure of it all.

Seonghwa grabbed your hair and pulled it back a little bit, allowing him to leave a bite mark on your neck. "It's beautiful." Pressing a kiss on it, he sat up straight and continued to enter in and out as fast as possible. You were on the verge of losing your breath due to the pain and stimulation coming from below, and could only express your excitement through desperate screams.

His hand once again found your long tail, kneading it as if it was a ball. "Hwa…hwa…" "What if I pull it, a bit?" He pulled your tail slightly, pain blended with pleasure and numb, this sensation sent you to the edge of climax. "Hwa, I'm…oh fuck, ple…"Your cries of pleasure were now intertwined with the sound of weeping. You were rendered speechless, unable to form coherent words, only producing incomprehensible sounds.

"Tell me, what'd you want?" "Cum…Fuckkk!!" He collided with your sweet spot without any error. "Cum baby, let me feel you." Closing your eyes tightly, you could feel a knot in your stomach. His thrusting became sloppy and lost his rhythm, he was almost at his limit. With a few more thrusts, both of you reached your peak.

"Thank you, hwa." "Don't say this, honey. You're amazing." Catching his breath, he slowly withdrew from your body to ensure you can feel every vein of his manhood. "Clean up first, little fox. Stay still." He carefully took off the condom without dirty his hand, threw it in the plastic bag and cleaned you up with tissue and wet towel.

"Let's go take a bath first and I'll change the sheet, hm?" He pecked at your forehead as you nodded. After you showered, he already changed the sheets and all the pillow bags. Of course, all the rubbish was thrown away, and even the towels were put in the washing machine.

"Cuddle?" He guided you to the bed as you nod, cradling you tenderly in his arms. "Is it hurt now?" You shook your head, feeling comfort in his warm embrace. "It's much better now, thanks babe." He tenderly kissed your forehead, his eyes filled with affection. "Let's sleep, hm?" You snuggled closer to him, and together you drifted into a peaceful sleep.

And the legos? Well, although he said it's fine, you still buy ten more packages for him as a make up. One can never have too much of a good thing, right?