#if you know me irl and you read all this 1)this is NOT meant to imply youre doing something wrong. not your fault amatonormativity is this

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[calmlb]

It’s been clear that the Tanizakis aren’t siblings from the very beginning

here’s some evidence now that it’s been confirmed canon…

everyone who’s read irl Tanizaki’s book knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

BUT just because the Tanizakis aren’t siblings doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable about them. if you feel uncomfortable, GOOD. that’s exactly what they want

the Tanizakis, Mori— they all use these disturbing ruses to disarm or distract people in order to protect themselves, or to accomplish their goals. this is a writing device that asagiri commonly employs as a way to parallel the irl literature (it’s actually ingenious)

there are 4 main indicators that have always made it clear to me that Junichiro & Naomi are not siblings:

1. most obviously— their character designs. Harukawa is extremely intentional with character designs, & she very intentionally made Naomi & Junichiro look nothing alike

their eye shapes are purposely different

their color palettes are contrasting

even their differing styles of clothing have meaning

this was all done so that the audience could PLAINLY see that they’re not related— so that WE know that they’re lying when they say they ARE related

2. how the people around them respond to their act.

the general reaction is “don’t question it”— which is exactly what they want. “be distracted by how uncomfortable you feel so that you look away from what we’re hiding” (this is likely a protective measure)

3. most importantly, this is meant to parallel irl Tanizaki’s book “Naomi,” where the main character Joji picks up Naomi to raise her into his ideal woman, but since she's so young (& a minor) they call each other cousins (Joji makes no sexual advances on young Naomi btw)

however, his plan backfires because when Naomi gets older & they get married, she flips the script on him & manipulates HIM so that he's under her thumb (which is why bsd Tanizaki is at a domineering Naomi's mercy). Joji let her have her way because of his masochistic tendencies

4. lastly is the emphasis that Asagiri and the Tanizakis themselves put on calling each other siblings.

over & over, it’s “my brother this” & “my sister that”

like they’re desperately trying to convince us that it’s true (“don’t let your lying eyes deceive you”)

here are just a few of many examples from the light novels…

again, if you’ve read “Naomi” you knew that Junichiro & Naomi weren’t siblings as soon as they introduced themselves

just like if you’ve read irl Mori’s works, it’s clear that bsd Mori isn’t a pedophile

just like if you’ve read No Longer Human you know that Dazai’s an unreliable narrator. he makes you think he’s a bad person bc he believes he’s a bad person, but those around him see him differently (btw this doesn’t mean he’s never done anything “bad,” though bsd isn’t about morality— but that’s another discussion)

anyway, i’m so excited for the Tanizakis backstory to be revealed so that we can better understand why they use this defense!!

also let this be a reminder to READ THE LITERATURE if you’re able to!! even reading synopses & analyses of the coordinating books makes bsd make much more sense 🥹

reminder that this how you’re supposed to react while reading bsd:

also, if you’re interested in a post explaining how Mori isn’t a pedo, i wrote this analysis on twt. OR you can read this document that one of my moots sent me (remember: analyzing a character does NOT mean you condone any actions they may or may not commit!)

[ln4smiamitrophy]

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐀 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 ————— part 1

𐙚 summary; the one where lando norris reunites with his childhood love at the Monaco Grand Prix and is convinced he’s over her. after all, it’s been 7 years. he can’t still love her, right?

ʚɞ pairing; lando norris x influencer!reader

ᡣ𐭩 fc; jadeybird on ig

⭒ type; irl x smau (there will be more smau in later parts)

⟡ a/n; i’ve come to realise that there aren’t many stories on here where the reader is mid/plus-sized. as a mid/plus-size girl myself, i personally can find it upsetting when there is mainly only representation of the body types that society deems to be conventionally attractive and not a lot of representation of others, they are common body types and they are attractive. i have struggled with body image in the past and i still do on occasion, if anyone who reads this ever needs anyone to talk to about this or literally anything else, feel free to message me and i’ll always get back to you. love you all, you beautiful people xx

comment to be added to my tag list <3

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

Lando Norris loved the Monaco Grand Prix. Who didn’t? The history behind the race, the atmosphere, it was overall an amazing experience every year. And best of all, he was able to stay at home. When travelling so often meant never staying in one place too long, he was grateful for one time a year he could sleep in his own bed the night before a race.

It was race day and, as per, the track was as chaotic as usual. From the mechanics frantically checking to make sure the cars were ready for the race to the fans filling the track to the brim, it was hard to get a moment alone. In fact, Lando had barely had one since he stepped foot on the track. He’d been pulled into meetings and interviews left, right and centre.

Amongst all the chaos he finally has some time to himself as he heads to the track for the national anthem. He’s walking in silence, head down as he makes his way over. He keeps going over the strategy for the race in his head, he’s starting in p4. Overtakes are hard on this circuit, everyone knows that. All Lando wants this race is to preserve his tyres and hold his position.

It’s like the universe made it happen. Just as he lifted his head up, he’s met with someone he never thought he’d see again. Y/n. His first true love. They were together for three years, but when it became abundantly clear that Lando would be joining Mclaren for the 2019 formula one season, they couldn’t deal with the consequences that brought for their relationship, and ultimately it ended.

She doesn’t see him, and he’s almost relieved she didn’t. It’s been seven years since the end of their relationship, and yet upon seeing her he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she is. She’s changed, naturally, they were just teenagers when they separated. But she’s still as breathtaking as he remembers. He couldn’t be thinking about this. Not now. He pushes these feelings down, repressing them as much as he can as he finds his spot on the carpet and the national anthem begins. He needs to focus on the race.

———————————————————————

78 laps later and he was p4. Lando knew he probably wasn’t going to gain any positions during the race due to the circuit but he still can’t help but feel slightly disappointed in himself. Ever since his first win in Miami, since he was finally able to prove that he can win races, he’s craved it again. That feeling when he passed the checkered flag in first place, he wanted it again. It’s natural in his line of work to want to be the best, he’s surrounded by 19 other drivers who all want to be on that top step every weekend. But his teammate was p2, he was proud of him. Overall a good weekend for the team.

After the race was just as chaotic as the start, between interviews and press conferences and briefings, the only quiet time Lando gets is in between them. So that’s what he’s doing. Walking in silence towards the interview pen as his pr manager talks in his ear. He’s not paying attention to where he goes and so of course he has to walk into someone.

“Sor-“ He says looking up at them, expecting to send a small smile their way before continuing but that’s not what happens. “Y/n..”

“Lando…” Her voice is still as soft as it was all those years ago. He just gazes at her and neither makes a move to look away. That is until she clears her throat, looking down.

“How’ve you been?” Lando asks, a feeble attempt to get her to stay just a little longer. He doesn’t want her to walk away just yet. Just a moment longer.

“I’ve been well,” Glancing back up at him and he can tell she’s hesitant, he doesn’t blame her. Breathing out, she sighs before she speaks once more, “I watched Miami, congratulations on your first win.”

She still watched, she’d watched him win. He doesn’t quite know why he thought she wouldn’t; she’d always had a love for motorsports. It’s one thing they bonded over as teens.

“Thank you,” He can’t help the soft smile that graces his face. Lando mentally curses himself for glancing over her shoulder, being met with the slightly annoyed face of his pr manager. He should be in the pen by now.

He looks back at her, nodding. “I should probably go… it was good to see you.” She just nods at him, smiling softly, watching as he walks away.

Arriving at the pen, Lando takes a deep breath, forcing himself back into the driver headspace.

———————————————————————

Five hours later and he’s stood in a club, music blasting, bodies dancing all around him and he’s stood nursing the same drink for the past 20 minutes, taking with George. Normally Lando loves a party, out of the whole driver grid he’s the one you’re most likely to spot coming in and out of clubs on a Sunday night. But tonight he’s just not in the mood and he just can’t figure out why. Though he has reason to believe it’s got something to do with the girl he can spy dancing over George’s shoulder.

He can’t help but let his eyes dart towards her every couple minutes. He watches as she dances surrounded by people, laughing and smiling without a care in the world: he used to be able to make her do that. The countless nights they’d spend wrapped up in each other, talking about whatever came to mind, the soft giggles she’d let out anytime Lando said something even remotely funny as his hands would occupy themselves in her hair. They all came back to him as he watched her.

Clearing his throat and downing the rest of his drink, he turns to George, dismissing himself before heading to the bar and deciding he was going to drink away the thoughts of the girl that was seemingly occupying his mind like a plague. He certainly does just that and three hours later, Lando is black out drunk basically lying down in the back of a taxi as Carlos sits there with him, making sure he gets home safely.

———————————————————————

A groan immediately falls from Lando’s mouth as he wakes up with a hangover straight from hell. He buries himself under his duvet until he finally decides he needs something for the pain. Peeling the duvet off of his body, he stands up, jumping slightly at his phone ringing. It’s Carlos.

“Please remind me to never drink again,” Lando states the moment he answers the phone and he’s met with Carlos laughing into his ear.

“It’s that bad?” The spaniard asks and Lando can hear his smirk down the phone. Letting out a grumbled “yes” Lando drags himself into the bathroom where he keeps his painkillers.

“What even happened?” Carlos questions him, “Didn’t you say you weren’t gonna drink much?”

“I don’t know,” Lando sighs, swallowing the painkillers, finishing the glass of water. He’s lying. He knows why but he’s not going to tell Carlos that.

His mind drifts back to the short conversation he had with her the day before. The way she danced in the club. The way she laughed. Her smile. Shaking his head, he pushes it down. He ends the phone call with Carlos, making the excuse he’s going back to bed, hoping to sleep off the hangover.

But he can’t get back to sleep, he’s never been able to fall back asleep after waking up, envying people who find it so easy. After 10 minutes of trying, he finds himself hauling himself into his living room, sprawling out on the sofa and watching whatever Netflix recommends him.

He has no clue what he’s watching but then again, he’s not really paying attention. His mind kept travelling back to her. No matter what he tried. He told himself it was just shock. The shock of seeing her again. And before he knew it, he was opening instagram, typing in her name and clicking her most recent post.

———————————————————————

y/nusername

liked by yourbff, landonorris and others

tagged yourbff, scuderiaferrari

y/nusername monaco, you are so sexy

thank you @scuderiaferrari for the invite <3

comments…

yourbff girls trips with you are the best <3

⤷ y/nusername i love you <3

user1 y/n being an f1 girlie is literally the best thing to ever happen to me

user2 y/n just proving “hot girls love f1” to be true

scuderiaferrari loved having you around

*liked by y/nusername*

⤷ y/nusername loved being around

alexandrasaintmleux loved meeting you, we need to hang out again!!

⤷ y/nusername you’re an angel, we need to!!

user3 i wanna party with y/n so bad

⤷ user4 me too!! she’s deffo the most fun ever

yourfriend1 missing you :/

⤷ y/nusername missing you more honeybun

user5 lando in the likes??

⤷ user6 he’s in the likes but they don’t follow each other

———————————————————————

part 2 soon !!

taglist; @soamericn @urfavwelshie @realcherryjam @danielshoe @coastalrainae

[covenha]

The Perfect Cocktail

Synopsis: You and San get into a fight that leads to Seonghwa and Siyeon having to mix up the perfect cocktail to get the both of you to make up. Pairings: Bff!San x fem!reader ; Renjun from NCT dream is also mentioned in the fic but not as a love interest per se; Siyeon from Dreamcatcher is Seonghwa's fraternal twin in this because I said so genre: crack, fluff, angst if u squint and look really hard Warnings: alcohol drinking and going to a club, oc jokes about offing herself once because of school, Siyeon jokes about a dilf professor WC: 2.8k (I got way too carried away this was supposed to be a blurb 😭); flashbacks are in italics a/n: this is fiction, so anything that is written in this piece does not portray these people's character irl. Please always read the warnings carefully. I got way too carried away with this one, but I hope you guys enjoy it! HIMYM is one of my favorite TV shows and I was inspired to write this fic because I rewatched a couple episodes. I also have no clue why I keep writing about clubs and sports, I have like 0 background in that so if there are any inaccuracies then you'll just have to deal with it lmao. I highkey think the formatting of this fic is off but as always, your feedbacks are always deeply appreciated. Hope you enjoy the fic!

“You know, if it bothers you so much, you should just go and talk to him.” Siyeon points out, taking you out of your train of thought.

“I mean, I could…” But you wouldn’t. Siyeon shakes her head.

You and San had a lot in common. You met at the age of six when you both decided you wanted to learn taekwondo. You shared a love for mint chocolate chip ice cream, a dislike for vegetables, and a deep passion for cats. But above all, you were both painfully in love with each other and too afraid to admit it. In your years of friendship, this was one of the biggest fights you’ve had to date. 

[ 1 week ago ]

“I can’t believe you, San. You know how much this club means to me!” You point at San, your eyes are filled with disbelief. The arts club was something that you had joined on a whim during the first week of freshman year, but as time lapsed you grew to love the small group of artists in it. 

“It was only a suggestion, I swear. I didn’t know they meant the arts club. C’mon, y/n, you gotta believe me.” He massages the bridge of his nose, then looks at you. 

“God, you jocks never fucking think about anyone else but yourselves.” You mumble. A hurt expression quickly flashes on San’s face but he quickly regains his composure. You shake your head and cross your arms over your chest. The lunch in front of the both of you is forgotten as the atmosphere gets more heated. 

“Look, when I suggested getting funding from somewhere else, I had no idea they’d take it from the arts club. Hell, I didn’t even think they’d take my idea seriously. Y/n, we need the money to get better equipment. You know this. We might actually have a fighting chance against SMU this year!” San argues with you. 

“We had to fight tooth and nail for that money, San. You know those funds were going to help renovate the studio.” You bite back. 

Siyeon and Seonghwa exchanged concerned glances. As fraternal twins, they were extremely good at communicating with each other, almost to the point of telepathy. They shared a look that they knew meant one thing. 

We need to do something about this.

[ 5 days later ]

You groan as you plop yourself on your bed. Today was a long day. You woke up late to your first lecture of the day, scraped your knee because you tripped while running to said class, and had to skip lunch for an emergency meeting with your groupmates for your health ethics class. You silently cursed at your professor for thinking that an impromptu group project was a good idea. 

“I despise that man.” You mumble into your pillow, still laying face down on it. 

“I don’t know, if it wasn’t unethical I’d probably tap that.” You lift your head off of your pillow just to throw Siyeon a disgusted look. 

“Mr. Kyle?! Gross.”

“What? He’s tall and cute. He gives me Carlisle Cullen vibes” Siyeon reasons out.

“He’s also 33, Siyeon.” She just chuckles at my words. 

“Well, enough about your professor. You need a break. You aren’t looking too good.” Siyeon looks at me with genuine concern. 

I probably looked worse than I felt. It was midterms week and deadlines were piling up. To make matters worse, you and San had not talked to each other for the whole week. But both of you were too stubborn to apologize to each other. 

“God, tell me about it. I’m one minor inconvenience away from becoming a statistic.” You joke. 

“Well….” Siyeon starts, I look over at her. “Midterms week ends this week, we could go clubbing this Saturday?” I groan at this suggestion. 

“Siyeon, you did not just suggest that. Remember the last time we went out clubbing?”

“One more martini, kind sir!” Siyeon giggled at the bartender. He handed her the nth martini of the night, and she waddled her way back to the booth where you, San, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s friend, were stationed. 

“You know what would be stupid? If you guys dared us to make out. Wouldn’t that be so stupid?” Siyeon giggles again, while nursing her martini. Your eyes widen as you shake your head. She leans into you, making heart eyes at you then looking over to the boys. 

“I dare you guys to dare us to make out.”

Needless to say, you were adamant to get her to sober up quickly that night. 

“Every. Time.” You deadpan at Siyeon. 

“What?! We had a great timeeeee.” She whines out her sentence. She gives me her best set of puppy eyes and looks at me with a pout. 

“Pretty please.” 

“Fine. But no martinis. I mean it.” You could never say no to her puppy eyes. 

“I only suggested that because it would be so stupid…. So stupid.” she mumbles. But she grins inwardly, the plan had to work. 

She sends Seonghwa a text. 

SY: she folded, going clubbing tom SH: san just agreed to tomorrow too SH: operation perfect cocktail is a go SY: i did not agree to calling it that SY: nerd 🫵

[ Earlier that morning ]

The twins are sitting at their apartment table munching on some stale cereal. They clearly had a lot on their mind. It had been 4 days and you and San were still actively trying to avoid each other. This fight had been going on too long for comfort. Usually, you and San resolved fights within 2 days of starting them. You guys were whipped for each other, but too stupid to actually realize it. 

“We need to interfere.” Seonghwa breaks the silence. 

“Yeah, but they clearly won’t talk to each other. At least, not sober.” Siyeon reasons out.

“Wait no, that’s actually a great idea. We need to get those bitches drunk!” He suggests, pointing his spoon around.

“But, we can’t just get them any kind of drunk. We need a plan, Hwa.” 

“Right, right. We need to get them the right kind of drunk. How about something mellow, red wine?” He suggests. 

“I don’t know, red wine has a weird effect on y/n. She reaches like, a sad point of clarity.” 

The room was buzzing with excitement as the countdown for the new year was about to start. Siyeon was sitting across y/n, at a college bar sipping on some red wine. 

“B+. All my life I just wanted to be an A, but I’m a B+. And I just have to live with that?” she stares at her glass with a forlorn expression. 

Happy New Year!

“If we want them to open up, I say we go straight up gin.” Siyeon gets a piece of paper to write down their ideas. 

“Hmmm, last time San got gin drunk it was at that trashy sports bar. He almost got into a fight that night” Seonghwa shakes his head. 

San was trudging through the dimly lit hallway trying to find the men’s room. He turns left and notices another guy walking towards him. 

“Look at this dude. Who does he think he is? Walking to me, showing me no respect. I’ll show this chump what I’m made of.” San thinks to himself. 

He continues walking down the hallway, taking large strides trying to size up his opponent. Just as he is about to make contact with his newly sworn enemy– thump.

What the? 

Oh. It was a mirror. 

“How about cocktails… Pina Coladas?” Seonghwa suggests.

“Well, when san has one of those he gets really into himself.”  Seonghwa recalls. 

It was a halloween tradition for the five of you to hang out at the twin’s apartment and have cocktails. And as the night progressed everyone was getting buzzed with the “pina ghoul-adas” made by Hongjoong. Everyone was gathered at the front of the television watching Gonjiam– all except San who was too scared to even look at the TV. Instead, he was stationed at the front of a full-length mirror nursing the yellow drink in his hand and swaying to the sounds of the movie. He was looking at his own reflection with sensual feline eyes. Clearly he was feeling himself.

“Hey guys. I dare you to dare us to make out.” San playfully winks at his own reflection. 

“Sannie, you know that’s another mirror right?” Hongjoong points out. But San is too busy flirting with his own reflection.

“They’re idiots.” Seonghwa sighs. 

“Agreed.” Siyeon nods. 

“This better work. I can’t have another lunch with the both of them going at each other. They ruined taco tuesday.” Seonghwa says solemnly. 

“We got this.” Siyeon smirks. 

If there was one thing the Park twins were great at, it was meddling in other people’s lives. To this day, you still shudder at what they did to Chris after he stole and reformatted Hongjoong’s laptop. You never wanted to get on either of their bad sides. 

[ Saturday night ]

Dolled up and ready to finally let loose, you and Siyeon book an uber going to the club that you guys usually frequent. But when you get there, you aren’t too thrilled to see San standing near the entrance with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. You look over to Soyeon with an unimpressed look. 

“Really?” You deadpan at her.

“The boys wanted to come with, okay? And I knew you would cancel on me if you knew….” She smiles sheepishly at you. But you know what? You were not going to let some stupid boy get in between you and a fun time. 

“God, I need to get drunk.” You sigh to yourself. This night better be a fun one. 

You guys walk into the club after lining up to get in. The place is teeming with sweaty bodies dancing and grinding on the dancefloor. Usually, you would have cringed at the sight of so many people. But with the 3 shots of tequila you and Siyeon drank as pre-game, the positive buzz was humming through your body and your inhibitions were starting to melt away. You guys make it to the bar but there is a line to get drinks. Hongjoong leaves for the men’s room, and the twins volunteer to get the first round of drinks, leaving you and San to awkwardly sit in silence as you wait for the twins to come back. 

Lining up at the bar, the twins look over to you and San basically ignoring each other. Sitting across from each other at the booth, it looks like the both of you haven’t even said anything to each other. 

“Okay, we’ve cross-referenced every alcoholic drink with their reactions. What’s the right drink for this situation?” Siyeon she eyes the both of you sitting at the booth.

“They aren’t even looking at each other…. Hmm, we need a drink that will start a fight.” Seonghwa says. 

Gin.

-----

“God and we’re back to this again. You can’t honestly believe that I would suggest something like that and be serious about it y/n.” San’s eyebrows furrow at your unimpressed expression.

“I don’t know, San. Can I? I knew you didn’t like me hanging out with Renjun but this would be taking it way too far.” You roll your eyes at him. Maybe it was the alcohol buzzing in you. Or maybe it was the over stimulating environment. But whatever it was, you were getting fired up. In fact, you both were. 

“What does this have to do with me not liking Renjun?! I don’t like the bitch but I wouldn’t backstab you like that like some crazy psycho!” Bringing up Renjun clearly bothered San a lot. Of course, he didn’t like him. He could tell that he also had a crush on you. It takes one to know one, you could say. But he would rather manscape coach Liu before he admitted that out loud. Deep down, he knew that some sick part of him was a little happy that you would spend a little less time with the boba-eyed boy. But, he didn’t want to tear down something that he knew meant a lot to you. 

“Well if you really were my friend, you should’ve fought for me!” You point at him. 

“Okay, now that we have them where we want them. We need a drink that will make them emotionally vulnerable. I’m talking full on Kim Kardashian ugly crying.” Seonghwa says. 

“Right. Right. We need something that will turn subtext into text.”Siyeon scans through the handy notes that she took down. 

Whisky.

-----

“I just felt like I was never good enough to be your friend. I’m not talented in drawing like you are. I could never really relate to how you and Renjun banter over your arts and stuff. It felt like I was being replaced!” He tears up. His pout and his red face was melting your heart. 

“Oh Sannie, I could never replace you. I was just so hurt when the club’s funds were going to be used for something else. I was so upset that I took it out on you. I just wanted something to be involved in, you know? To feel important.” You slur out your heartfelt words. 

“y/n, you are so important to me. Like super duper atomic bomb important.” San hiccups. 

“It just felt like you were getting so involved with soccer that you would forget about me…” You pout, tears starting to gather in your eyes. 

“Oh god, I never thought about how you would feel.” San cries out.

“I never thought about how YOU would feel. I’m such a dingus.” You wipe away your tears and frown. You see a bit of your mascara in your finger. But you felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulder. 

“Man that got depressing real fast.” Siyeon looks over at both of your forms drunkenly leaning on one another after that heart-to-heart conversation. 

“We need them to let loose a little. I mean, that’s what we came here for anyway. Might as well give them a little of what they actually came here for.” Seonghwa points out.

Pina Colada.

-----

You and San are slowly swaying your hips to the tunes of Charli XCX’s top hits. The strobe lights are bouncing off the walls, the bass of the songs vibrating throughout the club so hard they make your heart hurt. The both of you were finally having some fun after midterms week fried your brain. 

“Wooooo! Fuck health ethics, fuck my professor, and fuck midterms week!” You nod to the beat of the song. 

San was dancing in front of a mirror placed on the corner of the club, just having a great time twirling the little umbrella that came with his drink. He was making the same sensual look at himself in the mirror, biting his lip even. 

“God I missed this feeling.” Seonghwa sighs in satisfaction, looking over at the two of you breaking it down to Guess by Charli XCX. 

“I know right. Now I know why we love meddling in people’s lives so much. Dance my puppets, dance!” Siyeon rubs her hands together like a villain in a disney movie. 

“Okay, let’s end the night before they black out and forget everything. We need to end it with a bang.” Seonghwa says. 

Beer.

-----

“I love you.” San slurs while stumbling across the pavement with his one arm wrapped around your waist.

“No, I love YOU.” You giggle and boop his nose. You are swayed by his unsteady walking. 

“God, we are just so loving. Nobody is doing it like us, y/nie.” San smiles thoughtfully. 

The both of you are a giggling mess as the twins try and haul you into Hongjoong’s car. The drive to the twins’ apartments was riddled with a bunch more “I love you”s being drunkenly slurred between the both of you. Hongjoong, who was the drunk driver, was nervously looking at the backseat every now and then, hoping and praying that neither of you vomit in his car. But the real challenge was getting the both of you up 3 flights of stairs. 

After successfully hauling the both of you into the apartment, you and San lay a tangled mess on their pull-out couch. The both of you are out cold once the twins managed to change most of your soiled clothes. Sleeping like babies while cuddling each other, the twins look exhausted but satisfied at their work. 

“Mission Perfect Cocktail: Success!” Seonghwa whisper-shouts while pumping his fist in the air.

“I never agreed to call it that.” Siyeon repeats herself.

“Whatever, you donkey. You just hate that I’m more creative than you.” Seonghwa snaps back at Siyeon. 

“Oh please, like I could ever be jealous of your virginity corner.” Siyeon claps back. 

“Hey!”

[bluelolblue]

The Ecstasy of Temptation

Summary: During the celebration that the D'Antonio siblings organized, with a bit of too many glasses of wine, the young omega, Santino, unexpectedly went in heat. The only one who could help him handle that was his alpha bodyguard, John, even if that meant breaking the rules of the contract. And he took great care of Santino in his heat.

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Santino D'Antonio/John Wick

Note: August 12th, (12.8.) 2023 was the day I got registered on ao3, became LittleRealSimp. The day I officially joined. The lore behind this silly username is literally me and my irl bestie sitting in a park and talking about how we're gonna name ourselves there. And we both came up with silly usernames ehehe :P. I can't believe it's already been a year, like what, A WHOLE YEAR! I was lurking on ao3 for a VERY long time, and during summer 2023, I got enough courage to start posting.

This fic is a gift for @mrssimply because really her fics were the ones that helped me get through that summer and inspired me to start working on my own fics. I remember reading those fics on the terrace, at evening, so those are really some of my favorite memories from my vacation. BUT ALSO thank you for being my beta reader, a friend, a support, helping me out so much, and all our conversations, that really means a lot to me! Thank you for reading this, too! I'm so happy you like it! <3

Ahh this all made me emotional. I'm just so happy and can't believe it was already a year, and so much had happened. What a journey, and it's still going!

1 year anniversary of me officially joining on ao3, celebrating with a new fic!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Snippet

The D'Antonio siblings threw a celebration over gaining more territory. Gianna was in charge there, greeting guests and having everything under control. Santino, on the other hand, regretted even being there.

He usually liked those celebrations only because he actually felt included and he could drink more wine. The guests were annoying to him probably because most of them were alphas and only a few people knew Santino was an omega. Gianna, his family and John who was assigned as his bodyguard. Who was also an alpha.

John knew he wasn't supposed to have anything with Santino. The contract made that very clear and Gianna's order to him not to react at his heat or his actions during it. He listened of course, but he had to admit, Santino was tempting. The omega didn't want to play by the rules, always teasing John when he had a chance to.

Tonight, John had to keep Santino in his sight all the time. With other alphas around, powerful people, anything was possible. Santino was wearing blockers, he always did when he was around people. He hated the way some alphas would look at him as if they knew.

John kept his distance, watching how Santino was on his second glass of wine and accompanied by a younger alpha. Santino didn't seem interested in the guy, he was just pretending to listen to whatever he was saying.

Luckily, Gianna came to check out the situation. She excused Santino for a moment, going to a private room.

“Don't drink too much, you know how wine affects you,” Gianna reminded him, not looking very pleased.

“I know, don't worry,” Santino reassured her, “Thanks for getting me out of that situation. That guy was not shutting up.”

“Yes, I could tell.” His sister agreed, “Just go easy on the drinks, it could trigger your heat. After all, alphas are all around.”

“I'm wearing blockers, they can't scent me.” Santino fixed his tie, checking himself out in a small mirror on the wall.

Gianna sighed, walking over to him to fix his hair, but the omega moved away.

“Your heat is supposed to come… tomorrow? Or in two days?” Gianna tried to remember his last heat, she has lost track of his cycles ever since he kinda snapped at her for doing that.

Read the rest on ao3

[dnpg-hiatus-survivor]

my last reblog had me reminiscing on my early days in the phandom so i decided to compile a list of embarrassing dnp related things i did aged 11-15!

should i keep these to myself? probably. am i going to? absolutely not. here we go :)

1) i ran a dan and phil instagram fanpage and let all my irls follow it. when my friends would tag me on insta posts they would tag my phannie account

2) that account was called phans_special_snowflake

3) exclusively had dnp merch for school supplies. backpack. phone case. pencil case. everything.

4) when my english teacher asked what the d&p on my phonecase stood for, i confidently replied “dick and penis!”

5) i would watch dan and phil IN CLASS with no headphones

6) my spanish teacher asked me to send him a video so he could “see what dan and phil were all about”. i sent him I Nearly Blinded Myself as it was the most recent video at the time. he said it was “slightly inappropriate” and i had no idea what he meant

7) i wrote a persuasive essay on how dan and phil were secretly in love and in a gay relationship. i then read that essay in front of my entire class for a presentation grade. i got an A+ for both assignments.

8) i would tag dan and phil in EVERYTHING i posted

9) when i met dan and phil, i cried so hard that i walked away from them while dan was MID sentence trying to talk to me (phil said absolutely nothing to me. what a king)

i’m sure there are many many more things that i am missing but these are the ones that i remember most. honestly if i were to have a takeaway from all this, its that i LOVE my past self. i don’t actually believe in embarrassment or cringe. i was young and passionate and everyone knew it. are there things here that should make me cringe. yeah. definitely. but honestly, whats the point? i’ve grown up since then. why hate myself for what i didnt know? all i can do is laugh. and i mean come on… it’s so funny. 12 year old lydia the icon that you are. i was NOT afraid to be myself, and i feel like that has served me well. i’m really glad i grew up watching dan and phil. they’ve been great role models. especially as a young queer girl who was scared that she would never be able to find true love or happiness. so thank you to dan and phil for growing up with me! i’ve definitely come a long way :,)

[ebonysplendor]

Screen Shrink (#1?): Milo Change

**This was written for funsies, strictly for funsies, and only for funsies. This is not meant to be taken seriously or as fact**

Okay, so...changing gears a little bit here from my typical game schpiels, but it's like, we've been hanging out together for a few months now, yeah? Yeah, so it only makes sense that I can share some of these little weird quips of mine.

So, fun fact, I am a mental health therapist~! So that means that I make money by listening to people vent to me about their problems, concerns, traumas, and all of that and helping them work through it. Another thing that I do for money is diagnose them. Kinda cool, huh?

Now, the reason why I shared that with you is because, I involuntarily start diagnosing characters when I watch TV and movies, or read a story or news article, or play video games...or visual novels lol. Anyways, the sole reason of this post being created was because I've been plagued with these thoughts for a while, and no one I know IRL either play or will admit that they play visual novels, so I have no one to share these specific thoughts with.

I may or may not make this a thing on my blog but meh. I just have to get this one in particular out. All of that being said...tell me that (OG) Milo Change doesn't meet the criteria for Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Anxiety and Depressed Mood.

Please let me explain, because this has been burning me for months.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Okay, so listen... Actually, let me preface this first.

People are very unique and very odd, and because of that, people don't always fit cleanly into a diagnosis. Why did I mention that? Because, sometimes, based on what a client is describing, it can fit the criteria of a certain condition but not meet the exact requirements. It's like when doctors diagnose an illness; you don't have the exact 3 symptoms for the flu, but you have 2 of them, so they diagnose and treat it like the flu until proven otherwise, hence why they say "flu-like" symptoms versus just "the flu".

Okay, so anyways, I said that, because some of you are probably like "Nah, Milo definitely has anxiety", and you wouldn't be wrong! Milo absolutely fits the criteria for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but remember that thing I mentioned about the "flu-like" symptoms? Therapists do the same thing. We either give a broad/general diagnosis (because we've gotta bill them under something, even if it's just very mild depression, so we can keep seeing them) or we give an extremely specific one; Milo's is -- or appears to be, because again, people are unique and odd, and what I see another therapist may not -- an extremely specific one, which is Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood.

In order to meet the criteria of Adjustment Disorder, you pretty much would have had to undergo a big change within the last 3 months, like a divorce, getting out of jail, having people move in, or something of the sort. Now, the "mixed anxiety and depressed mood" are what are known to be "specifiers" and those are pretty much exactly what they sound like -- they make the diagnosis more specific or explain it a bit more.

All that being said, it appears that Milo meets the criteria for Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood because:

- He had a major change in scenery from a small town to a bustling, city-based campus (adjustment) - Technically, we could include that he's getting used to being this psycho's someone's significant other...yeah, let's add that as an extra layer (adjustment) - He also has very low self-esteem and self-worth, so that very likely means he struggles with feelings of worthlessness (depression) - He be a touch starved boy (depression) - He has a pretty shitty set of "friends" that frequently mistreat him (depression), and this poor kid is probably trying to do everything in his power not to piss them off, but it's a constant guessing game (anxiety) - But he also opts to have them versus no one at all because it's hard enough putting yourself out there to meet new people to start with. Still though, it's like...damn, to be mistreated or to be lonely (depression and anxiety) - He's pretty jumpy when you speak to him, stutters a lot, (it looks like) he fidgets with his clothing, he's a nail biter, and frequently avoids eye contact (anxiety) - Not to mention that this poor baby has a general mistrust of new people being nice to him since he immediately thinks that they want something from him or playing a joke on him (anxiety)

Like, come on. You cannot TELL ME that that isn't -- likely -- adjustment disorder with anxiety and depressed mood. The man is 100% an anxious wreck, but like, shit, I would be, too, if I left my familiar shitty environment to a totally new shitty environment; I knew what to expect at home, not so much here, ya get me?

Now, would I change this diagnosis down the line? Absolutely, because, if he's still an anxious wreck 6 months down the line, clearly it wasn't the change in environment that had him on edge like that, or rather that's not the thing that's continued to have him on edge like that. Initial visit, though? This is 100% what I would've given him if I did his assessment.

I just had to get this off my chest. I've kept this to myself for MONTHS now, and I just couldn't anymore man! But what do you think? You think another diagnosis would've fit him better? Meh, probably.

Anyways, thanks for letting me share that. I have a lot more characters I have diagnosis for that I'd love to share one day. That honestly may be sooner rather than later since I've broken the seal lol.

Welp, I've met my yap quota for the day...at about 2 in the morning (as of writing this) lmao. Big preesh for getting this far. Remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

**This was written for funsies, strictly for funsies, and only for funsies. This is not meant to be taken seriously or as fact**

[melanated-writersblock]

Confessional - A Yunho Series: Prologue

Seminarian!Yunho x Black!Female!Reader

~ You and your childhood friend Yunho promised to do everything together. But as you got older, things shifted, and you began to feel differently towards each other. Now, Yunho’s joining the church and any emotions you meant to share with him will have to be disregarded. Or will they?

A/N: I'm genuinely struggling because I have so many routes I can take this story and there are so many things that I've thought about including but idk. I don't want it to be all over the place, I want to make sure the story makes sense and reads well. If there's anything you'd like to see happen, I'm always open to suggestions, my asks are open and you can always post a comment! Written with a Black Fem reader in mind but anyone can read!

Content Warning?: Nothing going on this chapter, angst if you squint? A bit of humor, a bit of wholesomeness, BUT you do have a potty mouth🤭

(Disclaimer: I do know how the hierarchy of the Catholic church works irl and this fic DOES NOT reflect that. And if you’re a devout Christian reading this and you’re mad: 1. I’m also Christian (I kinda suck at it though unfortunately) and 2. What are YOU doing reading this? That’s not very Proverbs 31 woman of you🤫)

ANYWAYYYYY LIKES ARE COOL, BUT COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE BETTER! PLEASE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! ALSO DON’T COPY MY SHIT. I WILL KNOW.

TAGLIST!!!: @starboyyoongi @woosmaid @atinytinycat @kyeos4ng LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST!

How does a little boy who would spend literal hours laying in the grass stargazing, sharing dreams of traveling the world, living life unapologetically, meeting new faces and doing any and everything all at once, turn into a man who’s shut himself off from it all?

With your head bowed, you steal a glance at a praying Yunho in the adjacent pew as your Pastor leads the church congregation in a closing prayer. Your lips curve upward at Yunho’s form. His hands clasped against his chest, body hunched over, forehead resting against the back of the pew in front of him. The same way he’d always pray when you both were little. A creature of habit.

With Sunday Service concluded (finally) you make a b-line for the door as subtle and polite as you possibly can, but the endearing nature of church family wanting to see how you’re doing and what you’ve been up to stops you dead in your tracks, much to your dismay. You rush through your interactions, finding yourself more invested in how natural Yunho looks as he speaks with the Pastor, both laughing at a funny remark one of the Deacons say in passing. Damn him for being so good at this shit. You hug your last inquiring church sister and slip out before someone decides to start asking about your dating life.

The drastic change of temperature from the inside of the warmed church to the frigid December afternoon seizes your body for a second as your common sense and critical thinking comes flooding back to you in an instant…You left your coat on the fucking pew. “You’re shitting me.” your annoyed words of condensation visible in the cold air. You stare blankly between the ground, and up at the overcasted sky, your internal battle deciding if walking back inside to face the music is even worth it.

“Fuck no.”

You straighten yourself up with what little defense you have against the cold, folding your arms across your chest and nuzzling your face deeper into your thick slouched turtleneck as you make your way towards you car near the end of the parking lot. The faint sound of fast approaching footsteps get louder as someone gains up on you from behind. You feel the welcoming weight of your coat cover your back, slipping your arms in to get acclimated to the warmth of the garment as quick as possible.

“Now, you and I both know that wasn’t a good idea.” Yunho now joins you, walking in step but still a little winded from the run. “I wasn’t trying to go back in there to get bombarded by them.” You both continue towards your car, “Come on, it can’t be that bad.” “Yeah it kind of is.”, “How so?” “Really?” “Well, I know but I was just wonderi-“ “Look babe, my relationship with God isn’t as tight as yours, and I’m sorry that I don’t get as much of a kick from being in church as you do” you fish your keys out of your bag to unlock your car, “not like I used to, at least.” Yunho opens the driver’s door waiting for you to get in, his eyes downcast in thought. “Then, why do you come every Sunday?” you sigh, defeated, “Not every Sunday, I only go when you’re back in town.”

You don’t know what inspired him to do it, but there was some sort of paradigm shift when you both hit puberty that made Yunho change the trajectory of his life. One minute you’re up all night watching tv and playing video games, doing each other’s class work, planning to go to the same university, get matching tattoos, share an apartment together, get careers in similar fields so your jobs can line up that way you probably end up at the same workplace, use your paid time off and sick days at the same time so you can travel and go on vacations together…he even bought you a fucking bracelet.

He bought matching fucking bracelets.

He said gold compliments the warm glow of your skin.

He got his in silver.

He never told you how much it cost, anytime you asked, he was always avoidant.

Feeling a familiar sting in the brim of your eyes, you steal yourself for a moment.

One minute it’s all this, the next, he’s going off states away to some Christian University bible college. Then when you think the war is over, he turns right back around and goes to fuckin’ seminary school to become an ordained priest. You didn’t quite understand it, but whatever makes him happy you guess.

“Whenever you tell me you’ll be back in town I come to church to see you.” “But we still hang out even outside of church? I don’t get it.” “Oh my God Yunho, just don’t worry about it.” somehow, he got you to laugh at the situation. You put your keys in the ignition as the car hums to a start. Yunho finally closes your car door, leaning on your newly rolled down window. “Do you still want me to come by later?” He earns another laugh from you, “Why do you keep asking questions that you know the answer to?” “You’re acting like plans can’t change, what if you actually had to do something!” “You know I’m not doing anything later though!” “Okay but what if you-“ “Don’t piss me off.” “Alright,” he smirks, backing away from the vehicle as you reverse out of the parking space. “Text me when you make it home safe.” He calls out as you pull out of the church parking lot, the rest of the congregation finally starting to file out of the sanctuary. Yunho smiles to himself, heading to his vehicle to leave for the day.

To be continued…

YALL OMFG the way I STRUGGLED just to get this out!?!?! Anyway I’ve decided the interactions will happen in time jumps and the tag I use for Yunho and what he’s been ordained as will reflect that.

Also, please be active. If you like the story (and you would like the other chapters to see the light of day) please let me know. Share your thoughts and stuff, you can comment and my asks are always open! And reblogs do a whole lot more than likes!

- Lai✨

[suzie-shooter]

Alex Rider season 3 unhinged liveblog ramblings scribbled during first watch. Spoilers, obvs. (also fair warning, I am not particularly a fan of Tom or Kyra lol)

Episode 1 - Widow

S2 recap trivia - Alex's therapist is Molly Doran from Slow Horses and married to Alan Blunt IRL

Malta: Ok, so we're not just going to pretend it's Venice lol.

Creepy old men already hitting on Alex. Standard.

"After this we're out of leads." How do you even have any leads in the first place? Oh ok, Smithers' phone. Terrible security protocols from him, leaving that much historical classified data on it.

"Find the Widow - surely he could have given you an address?" First thing Tom's ever said I've agreed with lmao

Aaaand within a second he's back to being deeply irritating, okay.

Yassen living rent free in Alex's head, you love to see it.

"They've got this picture of me being the responsible one." Have Tom's parents actually met him?

Ooh Razim mention.

You maybe want to clean that wound before whacking a dressing on it Alex?

"Do you think you'll ever lose your appetite Nile?" Spat my drink.

Damn, no harem pants then. Scrubs up well tho.

Listing Levin in the opening credits than having him be only a S2 flashback should be a warcrime.

Episode 2 - Lab

"This weapon is called pork sword, wait, no, shit, wrong USB."

"Julia Rothman. Definitely a wrong un." Spat my drink again.

Do Crawley and Pritchard not warrant helmets and visors? Are they somehow immune to shrapnel?

So, room 6, wired to blow, yes? It's what I'd do…

Oh yeah sure guys, they're going to still be sitting there, all unmoving in the dark, for sure that's a person, and not a Massive Trap.

Thereeeee we go. Agent mince. Top of your class huh, well you're certainly at the top now, and down the sides and partially out of the window.

I know there's the whole 'characters don't know what genre they're in' thing but you are literally in the 'working for MI6 genre', you are up against people notorious for booby traps and blowing shit up, why the fuck would you touch something that hadn't been declared safe first? Apart from anything else you're fucking up the scene before forensics get there.

"I love you man." Vom.

Alex: breaks into super sekkrit lab. Also Alex: doesn't have the faintest fucking idea what he's looking at, so not really helpful.

COMICALLY LARGE BOMB KLAXON.

Episode 3 - Enemy

"Welcome to Malagosto." OooOOooh.

Maybe I'm just looking at it from a fic writer's perspective but it does seem a massive anticlimax to immediately let Tom and Kyra know Alex is okay? Like, you could have got a good couple of episodes of angst out of that uncertainty.

"Do you want me to kill them?" Oh God yes please.

Why the fuck have they plugged the USB directly into the network rather than an isolated PC? 'Hur dur we checked it first', you literally believe Scorpia are smart enough to not be bluffing about the nebulous death threat but you don't think they could hide something on the hardware? Fuck's sake lads. Amateur hour.

Is this Home Secretary meant to be Suella Braverman? Or Priti Patel maybe lol. (Equal rights and all that, and if it had been a white male character I don't think I would have thought twice about the dialogue but having both your two new female characters be immediately proved wrong/ massively patronised/ blown up ain't hugely comfortable viewing tbh).

HOW MANY FICS INVOLVING ALEX GETTING FUCKED ON THAT BED HAVE JUST BEEN BORN?

"Are you suggesting we break into a dead man's house?" "It's not like he's going to be there." 😂

"He became a very close friend of mine." Fnar.

Omg making Alex read his father's love letters is hilarious.

Alex: you could have faked that news report Also Alex: handwriting can definitely never be faked (how is Alex even familiar with his dead father's handwriting? wouldn't recognise mine)

Ugh please stop trying to make Alex/Kyra happen.

Alex up the vent shaft. I hope they're sitting casually at the top going - you could have just taken the stairs love.

If he's climbing upwards, why is his hair dangling like he's upside down? Have they filmed this like 60's Batman, and he's just crawling along a horizontal set lol.

Alex never once asks about his mother does he. Given the shagger-John route they seem to have gone down you almost think Julia would be in a better shout of getting Alex to switch sides by claiming to be his mother.

And - yeah, Alex's recruitment just doesn't feel that convincing here. Adding Tom/Kyra/Jack so much to the mix has changed the feel of his life a lot, and TV verse Alex has had a lot less fucking over by the Department by this point too. And Rothman feels too creepy to be effectively convincing him of anything.

"I want you to meet your tutor." FUCK YES FINALLY 🙌 (may have rewound that part several times lol)

Episode 4 - Recruit

Nicaragua: 18 years ago OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING

Baby Yassen is adorable, I'm in love.

OH MY GOD THAT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FUCKIN SPIDER THING

OH MY GOD THE REVEAL OF HIM STANDING OVER THE SLEEPING ALEX I'M DEAD

(Ok, I'm calm again. For now. We continue.)

"You killed my uncle" - all the hundreds of ways this conversation has been written over the years and Yassen's just like lol get over it 😂 (here for it tbh)

Rothman: He's one of our best Yassen: One of? Bitch.

Yassen watching Alex train like 👀👀

"Did he ever tell you you're no fun?" Oh you want to have FUN with Yassen do you?

Yassen bitchslapping Alex to fuck, both hilarious and hot.

Oh, you want to be WET wet.

"Matteo's the guy with the blanket." Why is that so funny.

Omg Yassen stepping in to protect his boy and humiliating Nile in the process lol. And Alex doing what Yassen tells him, because of course he does 🥰

"This one is my responsibility" 🥰🥰

"What about love, friendship?" Alex has only known Yassen five minutes and is already down bad.

"Kind of lonely though, right?" Yeah, Yassen needs you at his side Alex, so step up and stop being a whiny little bitch about killing people.

Never get in the first taxi, rule one of espionage.

Yep, called it. Tom's like: I'll have my fucking tip back in that case.

This scene is so dark I have no fucking idea what's going on, I thought Nile had attacked Alex, but apparently not. Is Nile officially part of this exercise or not, it seems really unclear lol.

The power of friendship and sparklerabbits saves the day, apparently. Yawn.

Jesus, we really ATE with this ep, huh.

Episode 5 - Revenge

"Would you rather your arms around me, or my arms around you?" Way to make it creepy Tom you skeevy fuck.

"Can we focus please?" "We're multi-tasking."

Sure Grendel, rock up to the super sekkrit spy base in a massively conspicuous car why don't you?

"Yassen will give you everything you need." Oh I BET he will.

Feels sloppy them not removing the diffuser from the vent tbh.

"What does this say?" Alex hasn't inherited John's neat handwriting then lol. Alex leaning into him like that > me making noises only dogs can hear.

"You've put lockpick?" "I left my last one in Nile."

Ooh, suicide pill, nasty. Kind've pointless though, given they've been left with the evidence anyway.

Yassen in Alex's bedroom again, likely place for him to be.

"I don't want you to fail. I don't want you to die." 🥹💕🥰

Yalex roadtrip, let's goooo.

Disappointed they're not making Alex do the Entrapment infrared acrobatic sequence here lol.

If this is Yassen's idea of a date it definitely needs work.

So no surprise scorpions then? Can't have shit in Detroit Malta.

"Why? Why did she kill him?" Well taking things at face value here he was a highly murderous member of a terrorist organisation, so you know, kind've her job.

Yassen does like a casual lean, doesn't he.

Episode 6 - Target

Alex and Yassen have shacked up in London, hope there's only one bed.

Now they're in the back of a van, SO many opportunities for shagging, they're spoilt for choice.

Yassen's impressed look when Alex reels off all the security details, so proud of his boy.

"What happened to my mum?" Finally he wonders lol.

"And I'm good at it. You could be too." 🥹

"You think Alex killed him?" I mean, he was also there with a notorious assassin, so probably not, y'know.

Domestic Yassen cooking Alex's dinner and also cooking him a gun lol.

Smithers' "How I've missed you" ahahaha. Smithers/Kyra much better pairing tbh.

"He's actually quite good at this stuff." Smithers' little snort lmao

Time for Alex to be blacked up/ dunked in a teabag bath/ gussied up. Although he still looks exactly like Alex afterwards, which feels less useful lol.

"You love him, don't you?" Yassen loves him more. I have to say Alex had far more chemistry with Syl, and frankly for that matter with Tom. I really don't get the Kyra agenda.

"It's a dry hole." Alex's worst nightmare.

Is Alex going to look through Mrs Jones' knicker drawer?

Episode 7 - The Shot

Mrs Jones and her tall murderous hobbit son lol. Otto really looks about 58 here.

Hope they bill him for her fucked up fridge.

Is that Bath? Oh, it is.

Mrs Jones casually throwing Alex back into play lol. Maybe she can have a little revenge for him trying to shoot her.

"Everyone breaks into houses." Jack's face lol

Ewww put him down, you don't know where he's been (Yassen's bed, almost certainly)

"Remember they can't hurt you unless you invite them in." "That's vampires."

Yassen arguing in favour of going to rescue Alex MY HEART

"Sit down. I'm going to tell you a story. About your friend, John Rider." HOLY PLOTHOLE TIMELINE PATCHING BATMAN

"John was embedded inside Scorpia for three years." Not the only thing he was embedded in by the sounds of it.

Alex seems to be hallucinating again lol.

Yassen, maybe psychoanalysing your insane boss isn't the safest thing to be doing?

"It's quite mad Julia." Yassen really gives no shits omfg

"I know my place." Yes, at Alex's side.

I like how Julia thought telling Yassen she'd killed John would do anything other than piss him off lol.

Episode 8 - Invisible Sword

"But you do owe me a new fridge." LOLLLLLL

Crawley feeling like a spare part during this lift convo, hahaha

"Smithers, you can do me some kind of tracker, right?" "Yeah, if you promise to keep it on you this time."

Alex is like ohshit I'm gonna die fr

"Not for the agents. They undid their seatbelts." Eyyyyyyyy 👉

Aww they've given him a little baby assassin outfit, how cute.

Where's Yassen, has he just fucked off to the pub?

"For the head of Scorpia, you're a really bad liar."

Laughing at all the other Scorpia agents having to listen to this convo about their boss like we are not paid enough for this shit 😬

"Everyone else is getting what they want, let me have my cereal."

Protecting his boy to the last. Yassen really is purely on Alex's side, we love to see it.🥰

And OMG HE LIVESSSSSSSS 🙌🙌🙌🙌 (I voted yes in that poll, I had faith lol)

Well that was - far more fanservice than I dared hope for, after the meagre pickings we got in the first two series. Yalex supremacy to the motherfucking end, let's go.

[cr-pisacs-evil-brother]

Pathologic Bachelor ARG Megapost

This post is a culmination of months of (mostly my own) research into the Bachelor ARG. For far too many days and far too many hours, I’ve been doing my best to solve this, with the help of a few other people. I looked very deep into most Fyodor Vitin posts, played through The Marble Nest several times, looked extensively through the Pathologic wiki, and read/analyzed countless outside sources for this post, and I will link as many of them as I can. (If there are links that you think would help the ARG that you’d like included in here with credit please let me know.) For any people that are credited, an “@” before their name implies that it’s a Tumblr username, while a “u/” proceeding their name implies it’s a Reddit username. I have discovered and analyzed dozens of leads, some of which are more likely to be important or intentional on the part of IPL than others. The primary purpose of this post is to give all of you Pathologic fans new leads and theories to analyze in pursuit of solving the mystery behind this ARG, so many of the things within this post should be looked into further! With this post, I will lay out my findings in a series of sections, all of them having several connections to each other. This post is more than 10,000 words and is not meant to be read all at once, so feel free to read sections, take breaks, re-read sections, or skip around if you'd like. “Observations, Research, Analysis” is a vast majority of this post and consists of observations made about the ARG material, as well as any research I did into those findings that bore fruit, and analysis/connections to other things. The additional notes section consists of some of the conclusions I’ve reached after putting all of my evidence together, as well as some connections I didn't really make in the previous section, but keep in mind they’re still just theories so they could obviously be wrong. I would like to emphasize that I am not a native Russian speaker, but I did have many native Russian speakers helping me along the way, and in particular, I’d like to thank @kurury-chan for her massive help with this. She transcribed the newspaper for me, provided tons of consulting, translated many other Russian sources, and actually went out of the way to go on an irl tour of a certain ARG-related location to see if my theories about it could hold any ground! Because I'm not a native Russian speaker, the sections where I'm required to analyze Russian text (notably the newspaper section) will probably be the least interesting and I'll probably end up making a lot of points that aren't valid. Additionally, I’d like to thank @cryingsyren (who also happens to be my bf) and @ded-not-ded for their help. As for formatting, since Tumblr doesn't have tiered lists for some fucking reason, all main points will be written as bullet points, and any sub-points within that bullet will then have numbered points afterward. For example like this:

The first main point about a topic

Sub-point of the first point

Second sub-point

The second main point about a topic

I'll either do that or I'll do it like this:

First main point

First sub-point First sub-sub-point

Second sub-point

Second main point

Edit 1: I've had to revert much of the Chat text (the font I used for the sub-points above) to regular text because of a formatting glitch that irreversibly changed most of the Chat text to bold, which was very confusing.

Depending on which looks better in the context of the points. Because that formatting is so awkward and clunky I'll try to minimize the use of tiered lists as I convert this from the Google Docs format to the Tumblr Format. Most of the time that I use tiered lists here it's to deal with the character limit Tumblr has on single blocks of text within a post. With that out of the way, let's just get into the post.

Observations, Research, Analysis:

"The Accident" Fyodor Vitin post

The first thing I noticed about the newspaper when I took a good look at it was the use of bolding with certain letters. If you look at the Newspaper you’ll also see ink splattered on the page in several areas, which could be a clue toward noticing the bolded letters, or it could be something else I’ve yet to discover. I knew I wouldn’t be able to transcribe the entire newspaper by myself, not being a Russian speaker (although I’ve just started learning!) so I enlisted the help of @kurury-chan, a native Russian speaker, and she transcribed the entire newspaper for me in Cyrillic. After getting this transcription I went through and spent a couple of days looking for which letters were bolded, writing them down, and coming up with possible translations/meanings. I’ve come up with lots of possible meanings for these, but for many of them I couldn’t figure anything out, and I’d love help if anyone has any idea what they could mean! To me many of them seem like word fragments that are simply missing one or two letters, and so in the document where I list all of the bolded letters I put some words/phrases that are very close to the seemingly fragmented words. Once again keep in mind that, while I’m trying to learn Russian, my understanding of the language is still rather weak, so I may have mistranslated some of these. Another small detail to mention is that there’s a prominent crease on the left side of the paper that runs through a decent portion of the bolded words. First, I’ll start with the bolded letters on the left side of the page. I may have missed a couple, and I may have written some of them down as bolded when maybe they aren’t supposed to be seen as such.

Here is a link to a list of all the letters I think are bolded on the left side, which lines they’re on, and possible meanings, many of which I’ll be discussing here. I will not go individually through what I believe all the bolded letters mean, but I will go through and explain the ones I think are most meaningful and important, as well as some connections I’ve made with them. And here is a link to the original Russian transcription and my best attempt at an English translation.

It’s possible that the crease that runs through the left side of the paper and notably runs through many bolded words somehow denotes that those particular bolded words are special, or perhaps that they should be seen as separate from the other bolded words.

Line 15 has a rather interesting bolded phrase, because it actually appears to make a somewhat coherent 3-word phrase, but one of the words seems to be a surname, “Pepe.” Additionally, the crease on the left side of the page starts right above the word “ПЕПЕЛИЩЕ” in the title, and splits it so that “ПЕПЕ” is separate from the rest of the word. (ПЕПЕ is Pepe in Cyrillic.) If you want to know what the non-Pepe words say, skip to the next bullet point, because the rest of this one is my analysis of the ПЕПЕ part. So, of course, I looked into the name a bit, looking through all notable historical figures with the last name, and found one that I think is of special interest: Guglielmo Pepe. Born in the small ancient town of Squillace, Pepe entered the army at a very young age, and was an Italian commander during the early 1800s, but his military career was fraught with trouble, as he also had rather revolutionary politics, which angered both the government he was serving and many of his peers, and he was exiled on several occasions. Upon Pepe’s return to Italy at the age of 30, he was given the rank of general. After this, the most notable events in his life would largely consist of his attempts at going rogue in revolutionary attempts to change the existing power structure, for which he was usually punished. (It’s also perhaps worth mentioning that his brother was part of the attempted French invasion of Russia.) All of this is to say, Pepe obviously shares some striking similarities to General Block, perhaps the most striking of which is his status as a 30-year-old general, which is an aspect of Block’s character that is highlighted several times. So, of course, I looked into Block’s character a bit more, and discovered that in the Russian version of the game he is called “General Ash” instead of “General Ashes.” “Strange,” I thought, until I saw that in Russian, Ash is “Пепел” which is pronounced as “Pepel” for anyone that isn’t familiar with Cyrillic. If we look into it, we do see that the letter after the Пепе is л, but it is notably not bold. This is, if you're counting, two separate times in this paper where the plural for ash, пепелище, is split up so that only the пепе is emphasized. As for other connections between Pepe and Block, we could look at them both harboring some revolutionary tendencies and being punished for it, both by The Powers That Be and his peers. General Block also tells Artemy that he was born in a town not too dissimilar to the Town on Gorkhon; this is interesting because there are some connections to be drawn between Squillace and Gorkhon, primarily that both of them preserve the beauties of ancient times that have all but been lost to most people. Related to this, it should also be noted that I believe the plot of The Marble Nest was heavily based on the plot of The Seventh Seal, which is the same movie that inspired the character Alexander Block.

The rest of line 15 is also interesting, but I’m not sure exactly what it’s supposed to mean yet. It translates to “Heaven on Pepe” basically. I consider the “Pepe” part to probably be the most important, since there’s a large crease that runs through it, which I think probably denotes a level of importance? The line’s meaning might be related to the fact that “heaven” is sort of a synonym for “utopia,” or the character that Block is based on is the protagonist of a movie that revolves around the ideas of heaven and Christianity, which is something we saw very briefly with Block in Pathologic 1. If you have any ideas please post about them and tag me, or simply comment/reblog this with your ideas!

Line 1 and line 18’s bolded letters both start out with “ов”, and for my English speakers out there it is pronounced sorta like “ove.” ов is interesting because if you translate it as о-в it actually is the shortened form of “island” in Russian. Line 1’s bolded letters read as “ов попо”, and for people not familiar with Cyrillic попо is basically “popo.” There are, apparently, many Popo islands in the world, and I couldn’t find one that I think directly connects to the ARG or Pathologic, but maybe someone else out there will, or perhaps that line has a different meaning to it. As for line 18, it says “ов испустивших” and according to Russian wiktionary, the second word is one letter off from the word “Emitted.” I looked a bit deeper, though, because that didn’t satisfy me (why would they use the incorrect spelling of a word after all?) and I didn’t see much, but I did find two things that used the exact word “испустивших” that interested me: A Saudi Arabian newspaper that has been translated into Russian, as well as a Russian poem from 1777 celebrating the birth of Grand Duke Alexander Pavlovich, also known as Alexander I of Russia. The latter is more interesting to me for numerous reasons, the first one being that it might serve my theory about the connection between line 1 and 15, as line 1’s bolded letters end with попо and line 15’s end with пепе. The connection is weak, too weak for me to make it a separate bullet point, but strong enough for me to want to explain. So, as we know, there is a connection between line 1 and 18, it’s what this whole bullet point is about, and this theory (using the term “theory” loosely) relies on us seeing them as very closely connected. Basically, Alexander I was the ruler of Russia during the French invasion, which is interesting because, if you’ll remember, Guglielmo Pepe’s brother, Florestano Pepe, took part in the French invasion. This, to me, is an interesting connection, but I do admit it’s definitely a reach.

That’s where I’ll stop talking about the bolded letters on the left side of the paper. If you’d like to see what other bolded letters there are, what they could possibly mean, and try to decipher the meaning for yourself please go to my linked Google Doc(s).

As for the right side of the Newspaper, there are some bolded letters, but I can't seem to make much sense out of them, and by this point in my research I was starting to pursue more promising ARG leads, so this section is rather incomplete. Just as a reminder, the right side of the newspaper is an advertisement for a lantern/kerosene shop. I personally think the right side is more interesting than the left for a couple reasons, but most of them are either self-evident or will be discussed later.

The lantern on the right side of the paper is the same model that’s used throughout the Haruspex’s route, but most notably it’s used a ton during The Marble Nest as set dressing. And when I say "a ton" I really mean it.

I also remembered vaguely an unused lantern item found in the game files of Pathologic 2, so I went to the Pathologic wiki to look for it, and surely enough the exact lantern used by Artemy, the one that appears so many times in The Marble Nest, is also an unused item present in the game files. When using console commands to give yourself the item, you’re able to click on it and select the “touch” option, upon which you’ll see the number 6192355001378070 where the name of the item should be, and 6192355001378072 where the touch text should be. I’m not sure exactly what these numbers are supposed to mean; my first thought was that they seemed long enough to be coordinates, so I put them into google maps and it does lead to a location in Russia! Nonetheless, the numbers are a little bit too long to make sense as cohesive coordinates. Still, it might be something worth investigating. You'll see later in this post just how significant numbers and number patterns are in this ARG.

The word used to describe one of the victims of this inferno, “academician,” has sorta interesting connotations in countries that were once part of or heavily influenced by the USSR. This person is referred to as “Mr. F.L.” in the article. This guy is also said to be a historian and a “бытооописателя,” which as you can probably tell by the fact that I’m not using the translated English version is a weird word. Perhaps the strangest thing about this word is the fact that it clearly has 3 o’s where there should only be one. The actual meaning of this word is odd, as it’s very rarely used, and according to all sources I could find (including native Russian speaker and linguistics enthusiast @kurury-chan) it is either an archaic term for a historian or a term meaning “writer of everyday life.” I’m honestly not sure what that means, and at first, I thought it meant something like a blogger. The most complete and coherent definition I could find describes it as “author of works describing everyday life.” A different translation I found seems to say it means something like "chronicler," which I suppose makes some sense.

In the bottom right part of the paper, you will notice what at first appears to be a signature. Admittedly I had almost no hand in this part of the investigation, except for the isolation and upscaling of the text. Most of the work here was done by @cryingsyren with some help from @kurury-chan and @ded-not-ded. Here is the image that I got for them of the text, and here is our current interpretation of it: It at first seemed to be Russian cursive (and it probably is supposed to be), which complicates things quite a bit, and @cryingsyren spent a couple days trying to figure out exactly what it says, (with some help from @kurury-chan) and as far as we can tell it’s four letters, which are separated into either two or three sections. I think we have a decent grasp on what they’re supposed to be in Cyrillic, but the interesting thing is that they do look a lot like both Russian and Latin cursive. I’ll describe them now using what Latin character they look like in quotes followed by what Cyrillic character they look like in parenthesis. The first section is an “M” (М) and a “K” (К), which are very clearly connected. The next section is either an “H” (Н) or an “H” and an “n/u”. We’re not exactly sure whether the H and the n/u are supposed to be connected, but the n/u being lowercase seems to imply it is. The interesting thing about the n/u is that, while it looks like it could be a Latin n or u, it also looks like it could be a Cyrillic и, which is the italicized version of the Russian letter и. It seems all too coincidental that all of the letters they used have almost exact visual counterparts in the Latin alphabet. At the moment our working theory is that it could be initials, and this is where I come in, because for days I knew I recognized the "MK" part of the signature, but I couldn't remember exactly where from until today. For anyone that has played too much Pathologic Classic HD like me, you may recognize the "MK" signature from the center of the loading screen in that game, scrawled in a way that most people wouldn't pay attention to it, and certainly that most people wouldn't have it committed to memory like me. During the roughly 170 hours I've spent playing the game I've probably looked at that MK more than I've looked at my youngest brother. This presents the question, who is MK? Well at first I thought it could be Mr. Katzman, as referenced in the "Mask" post, but that didn't seem right to me. This is when the fact that so much of my brain is Pathologic lore facts came to help again, when I remembered state inquisitor Mark Karminsky, who you may remember as being one of the men people thought would come to the town before Aglaya Lilich showed up. As for the rest of the writing, I'll leave that up to you guys to figure out.

Something to note for later on: We know there to be 19 inquisitors when Pathologic takes place, and in this ARG the number 19 becomes very important with later clues.

"Mask" Fyodor Vitin post

Arguably this is the Fyodor Vitin post I’ve done the most research into, and it eventually led me to develop a very deep and passionate interest in the Buryat peoples that has so far caused me to read several books and around a dozen academic papers about them. I haven’t only done research into the Buryats for this post, though, because although the Buryats are the primary inspiration for The Kin, they’re not the only inspiration. Despite all of this research work, this section will be rather short because I’ve already been through and exhausted most possible leads I’ve found, and this is what remains. Since the post is in English, and I think everyone that follows me presumably knows English (если вы не говорите по-английски, я хвалю вас за то, что вы зашли так далеко) I won’t summarize it, so I’d recommend reading the Vitin post and then coming back.

We see in the post the mask of “Muu Shubuun,” which we’ll immediately notice is almost the exact same mask as is used by the Executors in the game. Actually, in the Marble Nest, you can acquire the Executor mask, and its touch text reads, “The mask of Muu Shubuun, ‘the wicked bird.’ Part of the Reaper costume from the local theatre.” I have found several different sources that lead me to believe this is based on actual Buryat folklore, however, I’ve heard several conflicting accounts on whether Muu Shubuun is an evil spirit that tricks people by taking the shape of a beautiful woman, or if it’s closer to what we see in the game/ARG, but both seem to be documented as existing within sources on the Buryats. I think this confusion between the two likely means the stories and connotations associated with Muu Shubuun vary based on different groups of Buryats. An alternate spelling I’ve seen used is “Mu Shuvuu.” Possibly related to this is the character “Shar Shuvuu” (which means “eagle owl”), who appears in The Marble Nest during the “marriage” scene in the steppe camp behind the cathedral. In fact, a surprisingly high number of NPC characters in this DLC are named after birds.

The phrase used in the post to describe a seasonal festival, “dosoo ba beshē tēēhēē” is where I’ve devoted much of my research, with most of that research being from about a month ago. Only the third word in this phrase, beshē, appears as a kin word in the games as far as I know. However, we can use a method here that people in the Pathologic community have been using for years to figure out the meaning of kin words: Most of the steppe language in the game is based on one of many languages: Buryat mostly, Mongolian sometimes, Tibetan sometimes, and some parts of it also take inspiration from other languages of similar origin to these. A majority of the language seems to be based on Buryat, and many Kin words come straight from the language. A few words in the game seem to be made up entirely by Ice-Pick Lodge, and many are based on words from the aforementioned real languages but tweaked slightly, as if to indicate that the steppe language spawned from those languages but has some distinctive elements. To determine what this phrase means, I tried my best to dig into the languages and find parallels:

“Dosö” in Buryat means “inside”

In Mongolian “dooshoo” means “down”

In Mongolian “ba” means either “and,” “we,” or “sorcery”

In Tibetan, “ba” means “cow”

“Beshē” in the game’s steppe language means either “not” or “other”

The prefix “të-” in Buryat means “to transport”

In Mongolian the prefix “te'e-” also means “to transport”

As for the “-hee” part of the word, I have not found a single source that could tell me what it means. I’ve found several Buryat words that end in “he,” but I can’t seem to find a connection between them strong enough to suggest what it denotes.

Upon first seeing this festival mentioned, I believe I commented somewhere on the Pathologic subreddit that it might be the same one we see in the Kin’s camp behind the cathedral in The Marble Nest. While I’m not 100% convinced still, I also don’t doubt it that much. One interesting thing to note for any people that might wanna investigate this in the future is that I’m pretty sure what we see in the Marble Nest is the same thing that Nara and the Haruspex perform in the abattoir, as they both seem to happen on day 10, and if you look close you can see that Nara is the one that is cut open in The Marble Nest. Seemingly with the Haruspex gone, there is no one that knows the lines and so the ritual doesn’t go as smoothly as it could.

“Messages” Fyodor Vitin Post:

This particular Fyodor Vitin post is the third one, which if you know Ice-Pick Lodge certainly has some importance to it. The post is a series of letters and images, one depicting an Executor and one depicting Voronika Kroy, who's a minor character in Pathologic 2 and the main character in the Pathologic Feverish Feelings ARG. The letters detail how the recipient’s reports about Voronika Kroy have been seen and have started an investigation by the Federal Bureau. What’s most interesting to me are two things: the jumble of (Latin alphabet) letters in the bottom left, and the number used within the letters (the post-card letters in this case).

The number in question is “196-17-1” which is apparently the case number used for the Voronika Kroy investigation. This number will be more important later in relation to other clues. One interesting thing I've found is that the RGB value for 196-17-1 is a deep red.

The jumble of letters at the bottom of the picture is “eiamrucdvrturxoevecid”. It is 21 letters and can be divided up into chunks of 3 or 7 letters. 3 and 7 of course being Ice-Pick Lodge’s favorite numbers. Up until this point, it has been assumed that this is an anagram, and I have no reason to doubt that. It has already been pointed out in the Pathologic subreddit that the words “Executor” and “Corvid” can be found in the anagram, as well as the Latin words “Cura”, “Curare”, “Curari”, “Medici”, and “Vivam.” Credit for finding the Latin words goes to u/apostforisaac who is apparently studying Latin at university! Additionally, u/Own_Sympathy_9814 deduced a possible meaning by unscrambling the anagram and finding “MAVRUD + VERIDIC + EXECUTOR”, which they believe hints toward the answers lying in the Marble Nest (I wrote the entire Marble Nest section of this post before finding their post about that, so I do feel pretty validated by it). Many people have been approaching this anagram, like many other parts of the ARG, as if they have one right answer, and frankly, I just don’t think that’s in the style of Ice-Pick Lodge. I’ll quickly list out some words/phrases I found in the anagram and what they mean/how they could relate. I will also include words that have already been discussed, and they’ll be marked with a “*” so you don’t think I found them. Most of the ones marked with a * I won’t be discussing, as most have already been discussed extensively. I also won’t be discussing the ones that I think probably don’t have much meaning, but I’m including them because it still could be something later on down the road.

I am You don’t actually even have to unscramble the letters to get this one, as the second, third, and fourth letters of the jumble simply spell it out. What's interesting is that the 7 "I am" discourses are a crucial part of the Christian Gospel according to John. The Gospel according to John was an important clue during the Feverish Feelings ARG, which revolved around Voronika Kroy and her Inquisitor father, Peter Kroy. If we're speaking of the four canonical gospels, we must also address the Gospel according to Mark, which coincidentally is the name of an inquisitor that has popped up elsewhere in this ARG. Following this theme, there is actually a non-canonical Gospel According to Peter, which seems too cool to be a coincidence.

Eve This is one you don’t have to unscramble also. Interestingly, Daniil is often compared to a snake, even being called a snake-man in Marble Nest by Shaazgai, a man belonging to the Kin. In the biblical story of Adam and Eve, it is a snake, often thought to be the devil, that convinces Eve to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Retroviridae The scientific name for a retrovirus. If I was more knowledgeable about biology I would say more, but this seems important.

Rex Iudaeorum Translating in Latin to “King of the Jews,” this was the inscription that allegedly was put on the cross that held Jesus of Nazareth, as detailed by 19:19 in the book of John. Very interesting as Daniil does compare himself to Jesus at least once in the Haruspex route, on the night before Aglaya comes. The Gospels, as discussed before, all detail the life and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. The "19" connection is also interesting because of the inquisitor detail, and I'll talk about more of the connections to 19 later in the post.

Cardio Commonly used medically as a prefix for heart conditions, “cardio” is a Latinized version of the Greek “kardia,” which simply means heart. Heart imagery is very common and significant to the Bachelor.

Eva This is similar to the Russian version of Eve.

Corvid*

Cura*

Curare*

Curari*

Medici*

Vivam*

Mavrud*

Veridic*

Executor*

Order Could relate to the committee in The Marble Nest and the fact that after they’re replaced by tragedians the absurd order begins getting sent out to the orderlies.

Carex ericetorum This is a plant that would almost definitely be present in/around the Town on GorkhonThis is a plant that would almost definitely be present in/around the Town on Gorkhon

Creature

Marble Nest:

The Marble Nest, as we know, is very concise, only really lasting half a day in-game. Because of this, the dialogue does tend to feel a lot more intentional, as though the named characters are not necessarily speaking only to The Bachelor but also trying to convey a message to the player. This, of course, is because The Marble Nest takes place inside Dankovsky’s head. If this ARG will be revolving partly around The Bachelor, as it seems to be, then there’s no better place to start than digging into his head, which is why I’ve played so much of the Marble Nest for this.

There are several specific stories/myths/historical figures that are mentioned through Marble Nest. First, we’ll go through some of these.

There is a very interesting conversation that The Bachelor has with Georgiy Kain, where he is trying to justify his decision to lift the quarantine restrictions to The Bachelor, who is rather upset obviously. I’ll cut down and paraphrase most of the dialogue, since if I didn’t this would be much longer, but basically the conversation goes as:

[Georgiy introduces himself, and says he decided to let The Bachelor sleep so that he would have the strength to face the upcoming trial] [Daniil asks if Georgiy lifted the restrictions and let the plague into The Stone Yard] Georgiy: “Quite so. It's plain to me that you are on the verge of shredding me into pieces. But still your wrath. As a great Athenian once said, ‘Strike, if you will, but hear.’” Daniil: “Themistocles, I know. He met a rather gruesome end, by the way. Died of plague.” Georgiy: “No, it was Pericles. You are a learned man, but history is not your strong suit. Which is why you should listen to me. Perhaps it will help you see something that you missed in your previous studies.” [Georgiy then goes on to explain a bunch of other stuff about the plague, which as far as I’m concerned isn’t all that useful to the task at hand.]

I find this so interesting because The Bachelor, in his own head, poses a question to himself, gets it wrong, and then has another separate figment of his imagination correct him, and then proceeds to tell The Bachelor that he’s not great at history and should listen to Georgiy more. What’s even more interesting is that, as far as I can tell, Georgiy and Daniil are both wrong, it was actually Themistocles that said “Strike, if you will, but hear,” and it was Pericles that died of plague. I found this interesting enough to look into who Themistocles and Pericles were, and here’s what I found:

Themistocles was a politician and general that broke the mold by being non-aristocratic and populist, which gave him the support of the people but put him at odds with the nobles and some of his peers. He turned 30 in 494 BC, which qualified him to run for the position of Archon, which he did, and won the position the following year. He had a prominent rivalry with another politician named Aristides. Whereas Themistocles was populist, Aristides primarily fought for the upper class. Themistocles eventually 20the rivalry after Aristides was exiled. Years later, though, Themistocles himself was exiled, and while he was gone his enemies took the opportunity to charge him with treasonous activities, knowing he could not defend himself. Because of this, Themistocles could never return to Athens, and so found employment and a home among the people that he once fought against while serving Athens. Given military command once more, he was actually Themistocles who said “Strike, if you will, but hear,” and it was Pericles who died of plague. I found this interesting enough to look into who Themistocles and Pericles were, and here’s what I found: Pericles, to me, has less interesting things about him in relation to Pathologic, with the main two being that he rehabilitated the image of Themistocles and he died of a plague. What could be interesting is the fact that General Block and Captain Longin are in both Pathologic 1 and 2 often compared to Achilles and Patroclus, two Greek soldiers from ancient folktales, primarily known for being two of the most important characters in The Iliad. To me, drawing a connection between Achilles and Block, as well as Pericles and Longin, isn’t that absurd. What could also be interesting to note is that Pericles was the main character in a play written in part by William Shakespeare. While Themistocles' life almost exactly fits the character arc of General Block, down to the weird connection between him dying of the plague in The Marble Nest and Themistocles drinking bull blood (as well as Dankovsky thinking Themistocles died of the plague), I think how Pericles fits in could lie in the Shakespearean play, as we all know how important theater is to Pathologic. You see by now at least partially what I think this alludes to, but I’ll talk more about it in the additional notes section.

Next, I’ll discuss a mythical story brought up in the Marble Nest: The Tower of Babel. This is brought up by the clerks sitting directly outside Georgiy Kain’s house. I think most people would talk to these guys right before talking to Georgiy, but I have more to say about it so it’s written second. When talking to one of the clerks during their argument about the plague, one man mentions that he thinks The Polyhedron is at fault, and no matter how Dankovsky replies (he has 3 options), the man then says “History already knows an example of people trying to erect an impossible tower. It ended in tragedy.” I could go on explaining why I believe this guy is talking specifically about the Tower of Babel, this post is already long enough so just trust my reasoning here, please. Notable to the point I’m trying to make, one of the other clerks brings up that he thinks the plague was started because of the irreconcilable differences between The Kin and the town, and the fact that the Kin have been forcibly mashed into the town. When Dankovsky asks the man if something is holding the Kin in the town, preventing them from leaving and returning to the earth, the man says “Someone is… our rulers. They have embedded the steppe people into this town, carved them into its warm flesh. This isn't a town, it's an honest-to-God minotaur. A chimera. And chimeras have remarkably short lifespans and bad health. Can you breed a snake and a crane? You can, yes. But the progeny won't live long.” This dialogue is interesting for a few reasons, one related to the tower of Babel and two related to other possible ARG clues. The first interesting thing is that what he’s describing, drawing a connection between the Tower of Babel and the Polyhedron, actually makes a lot of sense. To him, the Polyhedron is not only an affront to God, but its accentuation of human hubris coincides with a beating down of nature and the earth, represented in part by most of the Polyhedron’s mass being concentrated far above the earth while also piercing the earth’s heart. The story of the mythical tower, to oversimplify it, is essentially a tale of people from many different walks of life all coming together to construct a giant, seemingly impossibly tall tower in order to avoid the possibility of a second biblical flood destroying most of humanity. God sees this attempt as an affront to both him and the natural order, and so before the men are able to finish the tower he divides them all by making them speak different languages, making it impossible for them to understand each other. So, in this second clerk’s interpretation, the plague is a result of the town both rebelling against/abusing nature and also taking the Kin into itself. Unlike the first man, who believes the tower itself is at fault, this second one believes it’s all because of the town making itself into a “chimera,” which he believes cannot live long. What’s clear to me, though, is that although these men believe they disagree, their explanations complement each other very well, which brings us to our third man, who has a rather simple but somewhat confusing explanation. This clerk believes that this plague occurred in the town because men should not be “remodeled or altered,” and when asked what that has to do with the epidemic he replies “I don’t know… It wasn't we who designed the world like this. I believe in men, Doctor; in superhumans, I do not. This earthly life wouldn't fit them. Immortals have no place in the world of the living. This is just how it works. Take from it what you will.” This man seems to be implying that Simon Kain, the immortal man, is the reason why this plague appeared in the town. This is when it all started to come together for me: these men's stories do really all complement each other, because here they are posing the Polyhedron, chimera, and Simon as all the same. This will further be explained in the additional notes section. Three parts of one whole if you will.

Now, the mention of the Tower of Babel is interesting for two other reasons, one of which will be discussed in the additional notes section and one of which I’ll discuss here. In the Fyodor Vitin “One can work here” post there are numerous items displayed in the room pictured, but perhaps most interesting to me is the golden bull statue that sits at the front and center of the photo. My first thought when seeing that image was “Oh! This reminds me of the biblical story of the golden calf statue, which I bet is what they’re referencing.” For those who aren’t familiar, I’ll be oversimplifying another biblical story now. While trekking from Egypt to the holy land, Moses leaves his people behind to climb to the top of a mountain and commune with God. Moses is gone for forty days, upon which the people are fearful that he will not return, and so they molded a calf statue out of gold to worship. God, upon seeing this, sends Moses down to the base of the mountain to punish his people for their sins. Moses burns the golden calf in a fire, ground it to powder and water, and forced his people to drink it. He then killed all of them basically. My thought process was related to the fact that The Bachelor is punished severely by The Powers That Be for his own affront to God, the pursuit of immortality. Now, after that previous discussion about the Tower of Babel, I am noticing some very interesting things in this picture, and primarily that there are two other related statues. Now that we have the previous context about The Tower of Babel and the clerks in our mind, we can see new meaning in these statues: a black statue of a centaur, and a white bust of a man. The interesting thing about the centaur should be obvious, it is another chimera. The bust of the man, which seems to be made of marble, reminded me somewhat of ancient Greek statues that are chiseled to glorify certain leaders and make them seem somewhat perfect while also immortalizing them in stone. You can probably see the connection I’m making here, and so I will leave the rest of the explanation for the additional notes section.

Another thing that's interesting to note is the aforementioned three men, unlike most characters in Pathologic 2 and the Marble Nest, do not stop moving when you pause the game; their animations continue to play even after you bring up the pause menu. If you’re unaware, there is actually a small detail in Pathologic 2 where pretty much everything nature-based or that is a natural force of the world, as well as everything that’s supposed to be seen in a meta-narrative sense, does not stop moving when you pause the game. This includes rain, leaves falling, the particle effects that come off the clocks, fire, executors (not orderlies), plague particles, etc. Once I noticed this (while trying to get a screenshot of some things to analyze) I tested out some other NPCs in The Marble Nest, and all of the other people I tested seemed to freeze when the game was paused. However, this is not to say that no other characters in the Marble Nest move when the game is paused. I only tested about 4 guys besides the primary trio we're discussing, mostly just to make sure it's not a thing that all Marble Nest characters do. If one of you people reading this would like to go through and see which characters in The Marble Nest also possess this trait, it could prove fascinating.

Finally, I’ll talk about two somewhat modern (at least modern compared to the previous two) stories that are brought up in The Marble Nest, although not directly: The Time Machine by H.G. Wells and The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe. Admittedly, I have not read either of these stories (it’s possible I read the EAP story 5-6 years ago and just don’t remember it), but I do actually know quite a bit about the stories and their themes from a couple of literary studies on specific genres I’ve done over the years. Additionally, for this section, I have done some more research on the plots and themes of these stories which yielded fascinating results.

The Time Machine is brought up when The Bachelor visits The Cathedral and speaks to a Tragedian standing within. The Tragedian talks about how the building is not a temple, but a machine. Daniil asks what kind of machine, and The Tragedian responds “This is a time machine. Time works differently on the inside and on the outside. It's frozen now. I think something's broken.” To which Dankovsky can say “A time machine? Are you saying it can transport me to the past or to the future? Like in that Englishman's book, what's his name…” For this, I did some research into what book he could be referring to, and almost instantly Time Machine stood out to me for a number of reasons. I think there might be something interesting to be said about how this relates to the ARG, but I’m not going to be the one to say it, because I’m honestly not sure how or if it does. I will describe how it connects to Pathologic though, in case that sparks anyones mind. The work is apparently seen as popularizing the idea of time travel and the time machine, which relates to what IPL has said about The Bachelor’s route I suppose. As for the plot, it’s about a Victorian man using a time machine to travel to the year of A.D. 802,701. He meets two races of people, one descended from the oppressed working class and one descended from the pampered owning class. Over hundreds of thousands of years of this lifestyle, the two races have started to diverge, with the owning class becoming child-like and basically useless, while the working class has been forced into a life of toil and hardship which has shaped them into a race of underground-dwelling animalistic race of people. Essentially the novel is a depiction of class struggle and the class contradictions inherent within capitalism, but with a bit of a metaphorical twist. The toiling of the working class underground is what allows the upper class to live in abundance without the need for work. There is very interesting commentary here to be made on the worms/odonghs in the game, as well as the eternal youth that is present in some elements of the stone yard, but this isn’t a Pathologic essay, it’s a Pathologic ARG essay.

The Masque of the Red Death is alluded to by The Bachelor in a dialogue with a wandering citizen, who opens up the conversation by saying “A masquerade ball will be held in the main square this evening. People want to celebrate our victory over the sand pest. You don't mind…?” To which The Bachelor has 3 possible replies, one of them being “I seem to vaguely remember a rather famous story about a masquerade held to celebrate a victory over a plague. Remember how it ended?” To summarize, The Masque of the Red Death is about a group of noblemen taking refuge in an abbey to hide from a plague (the plague is known as the Red Death). The plague’s symptoms are gruesome, and all people who contract it apparently die within a half hour. The main character, Prince Prospero, and his fellow noblemen believe themselves to be entirely safe, though, as they have welded shut all the doors and isolated themselves in the abbey. To entertain the guests, the prince holds a masquerade ball that takes place in seven of the rooms of his abbey, each colored differently. The first six rooms are blue, purple, green, orange, white, and violet, with the last being black and illuminated by a red window. No guests venture into the seventh room, as they are all scared to enter it. Every hour a clock in that room chimes, upon which the guests freeze and go silent momentarily, before resuming normal activity once the chiming stops, only to do the same thing after an hour. Once midnight comes, a person appears in robes covered in blood and resembling a funeral shroud, wearing a mask that depicts a person clearly infected with the Red Death. This figure walks through six of the chambers before the prince starts chasing them with a dagger. Confronting them in the seventh room, the prince immediately falls dead upon seeing this person’s face. The other party-goers all charge the figure, stripping them of their clothes and mask, only to find that there is no one underneath. The conclusion of the story states that the figure was not a person, but rather an embodiment of the Red Death. The Red Death also appears as a reference in the novel The Phantom of the Opera, as well as several film and musical adaptations. The titular phantom dresses up as The Red Death, and in many adaptations wears a skull mask as part of the costume.

I believe Hamlet is also brought up at some point in The Marble Nest, but I can’t seem to find the dialogue so I’m unsure if that’s true.

Next, I'll talk about another random Marble Nest clue

The Bachelor’s hover text for the beetle item says “I used to collect these as a kid. Left the collection with my father.” @pseudoquiddity found that a paper on the top of “The Beginning” Fyodor Vitin post spells out Mechnikov, which is almost definitely referencing Ilya Ilyich Mechnikov, who was a Russian zoologist and immunologist who achieved incredible scientific discovery during his life, and notably for us he was largely focused on the issue of aging and extending human life. Mechnikov was actually brought up in an IPL teletype post as one of the Bachelor’s main influences scientifically, alongside Albert Einstein and Max Planck. The relevant thing about Mechnikov here is that, as a zoologist, he did many notable studies on insects throughout his career to see how their bodies reacted to things compared to how ours did. One thing that’s interesting to me is that the type of beetles we see in the game, I believe, are based on Trypocopris Vernalis, commonly known as the spring dumbledor or spring dor beetle, which is not known to inhibit the region that the Town on Gorkhon would reside in. Another thing I find interesting is the touch text from the Alpha version of the game, which reads “Some fifteen years ago, the Soul-and-a-Halves, the gang of children who are defined by sharing special bonds with their pets, actually considered to allow flower chafers as their "Halves" due to the beetles ‘looking as though they knew something’. The idea was quickly abandoned as ridiculous.” Maybe I’m just 8.6 thousand words into this post and have finally gone insane, but I think the beetles “looking as though they know something”, combined with their close connection to Dankovsky, it seems too intentional.

In the “Feverish Feelings” ARG, the Beatles (the band) were brought up indirectly and used by the players as a clue to get more information. This also related to the clue relating to the Gospel according to John. Additionally, speaking of Mechnikov, u/Fantastic_Advice5593 theorized that the numbers on Daniil’s train ticket from one of the original ARG notes could be hinting toward the date May 15th, or 5/15 (15/5 if you use the non-American dating system I believe), which is Mechnikov Day, and is commonly recognized as Mechnikov’s date of birth. Proving this connection further, the “Messages” Fyodor Vitin post was posted on May 15th. Another interesting thing is that if we convert the time that the “Messages” image was posted to the time scheme used in Pathologic (that is, a 24-hour clock), it comes out to 19:35 (Using GMT+3 time zone, as that’s where Moscow is located.) This is interesting because “Messages” was also posted 19 days after the previous post, and I know for a fact that 19 is an important number in this ARG: The newspaper from the “The Accident” post was labeled as issue number 19, the bible passage that we saw referenced in the anagram from the “Messages” post is John 19:19, the jumble of letters that we found in the touch text for the unused lantern item includes “19,” and so does the 196-17-1 number from Messages. In a way, the number 19 is sort of a self-checking method to substantiate some of the clues we’ve found thus far.

Griffins’ Tower

Many of the details in this section wouldn’t be possible without @kurury-chan who, upon my inquiry about the tower and its accompanying pharmacy, actually visited it, got tons of cool pictures, and translated a ton of the history for me! I literally cannot thank her enough for her help with many elements of this post, but especially in this section. In the original Pathologic ARG, “Feverish Feelings,” the Griffins’ Tower is brought up a couple of times throughout, and was part of an intensive fandom discussion because many elements of it paralleled many themes and plot points of Pathologic. The following connections/possibly related facts are a combination of fandom discussion from the time and my own research:

The tower is connected to a pharmacy that has existed since the 18th century. Both were once owned by the Poehl family, who were a rather eccentric yet somewhat mysterious rich family. Rumors from the time (The 18th/19th century) speculate that members of the family engaged in “…alchemy and witchcraft, and in the basements of the house he turned mercury into gold and bred griffins. Since ancient times, it was believed that griffins, mythical creatures with the body of a lion and the head of an eagle, were the guardians to secret sacred knowledge and treasures.”

In 1994, the artist Alexey Kostroma, together with the society "Here and There" (Tut i tam), organized a demonstration/art-piece to advocate for the preservation of the tower and the revitalization of the city, which they believed was falling apart before their very eyes. During this demonstration, they hoisted a large egg (approximately 1.5 meters) onto the top of the tower, and they painted (I’m not sure what was used to put the numbers on the tower, but I assume it was paint) numbers on almost every brick of the tower. While the purposes for the those two additions rarely get brought up in conversations surrounding it, the egg and the numbers are now some of the most well-known parts of the tower, despite the fact that neither of the two are there anymore. The Polyhedron, as we know, is a tower that at the top houses children and is made from its own complex blueprints. Additionally, in the Marble Nest, but also throughout Pathologic as a whole, there is a common piece of imagery that connects eggs and the Utopians. In the opening of The Marble Nest, the item that’s used on the loading screen is an egg. If you look at the egg sprite in P2, you’ll see a crack in it that heavily resembles the Polyhedron. Daniil Dankovsky commonly uses the Latin phrase “ab ovo,” which means “from the beginning” but when literally translated means “from the egg,” and his touch text for the egg in Marble Nest reads “To understand anything, start ab ovo — ‘from the egg.’”

While playing through The Marble Nest several times for this ARG, I noticed something that gave me more confidence in The Griffins’ Tower playing a role in it. If you guys have played Pathologic as much as I have you’ll know there’s a tower in between the Stone Yard and the steppe that you can’t enter and is barely ever really explained. If I’m picking apart my brain correctly for Pathologic 1 knowledge, I believe it is implied to be a Focus of some sort. If you’ve only played Pathologic 2, or you haven’t played through The Bachelor’s route in P1 enough, or you haven’t read through the Pathologic “Corpus” entries, you probably have an incomplete idea of what a “focus” is and all that it entails. I won’t go too deep into it now, but it’s said in one of the Corpus entries that, on top of the Polyhedron, Cathedral, Stillwater, Crucible, etc., there were a number of experimental Focuses that were built for Simon Kain to test the limits of what buildings could capture the human soul and memories. It’s a building you can’t ever enter, but it does have a visible door, which is very similar to the way that Simon’s focus is described by Victor Kain. I’d like to draw your attention to the visual similarities between that tower and the Griffin Tower. I’d also like to draw your attention to the fact that, in the original design concepts of Pathologic 1 every character is associated with a specific animal, and Simon Kain’s is a griffin. What is a griffin? Well, it’s a fusion between two drastically different creatures, a lion and an eagle; a griffin is a chimera.

Interestingly, in 2005 (the year Pathologic came out) the pharmacy connected to The Griffins Tower was closed for a while because it became flooded with water while trying to extinguish a fire.

There is a photo in the pharmacy connected to the tower (which has now been converted into a museum about the history of the place and pharmacies in general) that depicts, during the early 1900s, the pharmacy sitting next to a theater called “Simpatiya” (Sympathy).

While @kurury-chan was on a tour of the pharmacy/museum she found an interesting marmite that was on display. It was created by Samuel Clarke and it’s called “Pyramid,” and the marmite has an accompanying poem: Когда ночи темные, подумайте о Кларке, который попал точно в цель. Его ночные огни создают светлые ночи, в которых вы прекрасно видите. (When the nights are dark, think of Clark hitting the mark. His night lights create bright nights in which you can see perfectly) This is interesting largely because the poem reminds me somewhat of the body text for the lantern ad found in the newspaper post.

In the original email mentioning the Griffin’s Tower, Voronika Kroy appends the message by saying “P.S. I feel like I’ll need this memory later.”

Seventh Seal

I watched this movie after discovering all of the allusions to General Block we’ve seen thus far, but being unsure what to do with any of them. For those that don’t know, the movie The Seventh Seal’s protagonist Octavius Block has been listed as one of the main inspirations for Alexander Block, and since IPL seems intent on leading us to analyze certain works of literature/film/theater for this, I decided to look into it. What I found is incredibly interesting I think, because it seems that one of the main inspirations for The Marble Nest is The Seventh Seal.

The title is based on a bible verse (from the Book of Revelations) that reads “And when the Lamb had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour.” This verse appears both at the very beginning of the movie and then again toward the end. This thirty minutes/half-an-hour element appears prominently in both this story and The Masque of the Red Death. One other place it appears is on the pocket watch in the first Fyodor Vitin post, where the time on it is 2:30. I am very confident that it also appears in The Marble Nest once or twice, but despite looking I was unable to find it. If anyone else knows where it might be, either comment on this post or message me, and I will put it in this section and credit you.

The movie's plot revolves around Antonius Block, a disillusioned medieval knight returning from the Crusades. Block is struggling throughout the movie with his inability to believe in God and his realization that his whole life has been wasted. He wishes more than anything to do one last deed before his death to give his life meaning. The movie is set during the Black Death, with prominent elements of the story revolving around the plague. The movie largely focuses on how Block takes in several poor and out-of-luck folks fleeing the plague, inviting them to stay at his castle and escorting them along the way.

Toward the beginning of the movie, Death comes to take Block, but he convinces Death to play him in a game of chess for his life. This game of chess continues throughout the movie, with Death allowing Block to take several breaks in order to find clarity about his life and death. Toward the end of the movie, he allows Death to take his queen, effectively ensuring he would lose the game in the next turn, so that his companions could get away without Death noticing. After returning to his castle, everyone has a nice meal before Death arrives and takes everyone, excluding the people that Block helped get away by tricking Death.

Many things from Pathologic seem to take inspiration from this movie; most notable being the storyline of The Marble Nest (Dankovsky’s “People” screen categorizes people as chess pieces, essentially implying that his struggle against death is a sort of chess match), but there are also some smaller things. For example, there is a scene where the characters encounter someone afflicted with the plague who cries out for help, and one of the women tries to get closer to give the man water, but another person stops her, as giving water to a plague victim is futile and dangerous; almost immediately after this, a personification of Death appears. This heavily reminds me of the intro/tutorial of Pathologic 2, where a similar scene occurs.

While watching the movie, it’s very easy to see how Block was directly inspired by the main character, but it’s hard to convey exactly how without describing many scenes in detail, so I will simply describe one of them. After leaving a church confessional where he admits to his faith faltering and wanting to perform one meaningful deed before he dies, Block encounters a young woman who’s about to be burned at the stake for allegedly having ties to the devil. He takes pity on this woman, seeing something special in her, and believes she can tell him about life after death. This, to me, seems very reminiscent of Block’s storyline with the Changeling in P1.

Another small lead before this part of the post is finished: This lead, I will admit, I stumbled across completely at random, and will not talk about much because there’s not much I can say about it that isn’t obvious. It might be worth looking into the Russian philosopher Nikolai Fyodorovich Fyodorov, and perhaps thinking about if Fyodor Vitin was based partially on him, since we know Vitin works closely with Daniil.

Additional Notes/Comments:

In the newspaper clipping, it is said that a man with the initials “F.L.” had been one of the apparent two victims of the fire that burned down several buildings. This man (who I’ll simply refer to as “F” from now on) is an academician, historian, and writer of everyday life, which obviously fits well with the man that we know as Fyodor Vitin, and it has been assumed up until this point that he was the victim of this fire. I think there are three possibilities here: Fyodor Vitin was not the victim of this fire somehow, Fyodor Vitin is not his real name, or the newspaper is lying to us. In connection to the light/lantern emphasis in the newspaper, it might be worth it to note that the word “vitin” in Faroese means something like “the lighthouse”/“the beacon”, while in old Swedish it means something like “to know.” What’s more interesting is that Vitin in old Swedish is a second-person plural present indicative, and for people that got a useful education, that means it’s a verb that’s used to factually describe the current actions of the people that the speaker is saying it to. If Vitin isn’t his real surname, his username could mean “Fyodor beacon”, or “Fyodor (that you all) know”.

As discussed extensively in the section on the Tower of Babel, there is a direct connection drawn between the Polyhedron, Simon, and chimeras. We elaborated a bit on this connection in the section on the Griffins’ Tower. What’s especially interesting then is the fact that, in The Marble Nest, the Polyhedron is labeled as “focus,” implying that Simon’s essence is infused in the Polyhedron, as is what happens in the first game. This, I believe, confirms our theory about the connection even further. What then makes this even more related to the ARG is the fact that in the “One can work here” post by Fyodor Vitin, we see the three statues depicting the golden bull, the centaur, and the marble bust of a man. It is then worth noting that this bust of a man made of marble could be a reference to The Marble Nest, perhaps trying to get us to look there for clues. I believe, if the golden bull is meant to represent the Polyhedron (or at least the Polyhedron argument in The Marble Nest), and the centaur is meant to represent the chimera, then the marble bust of the man is meant to represent Simon (or, once again, represent the Simon/immortal man argument from the Marble Nest). This is supported by my point about the marble busts both immortalizing men and also making them more into concepts than men (as the statue can only depict a small part of a man’s life, usually depicting him in battle, leading a governmental position, etc). In the original game, and as can slightly be seen in hints of the second game, Simon is sometimes seen as more of a concept than a man; he is the ideology of the utopians incarnate, the perfect man that represents everything humanity could be. As a chimera is vital to Burakh’s quest, so too is it vital for Dankovsky’s (and it’s interesting to note that Burakh has the chimera revelation while in conversation with Dankovsky.) If the Marble Nest is used to represent the stone yard, or the “town” in its purest form, then Simon Kain is the marble man. It then becomes important to figure out where the “One can work here” picture is supposed to be depicting. I believe, if the statues there are supposed to represent all that we’ve said so far, the location should be representative of Dankovsky’s fight against death, and therefore I say it probably has to be Thanatica.

Now, as for all the connections with General Block, there are obviously many of them, from the Guglielmo Pepe hypothesis to the mention of Aristides/Pericles to The Seventh Seal to the whole “ash” thing, it seems far too much to be a series of coincidences. I don’t think it’s too crazy to connect the prominent appearance of the number 30 in the Block/Pepe/Aristides context to the prominent appearance of the number 30 (as in half an hour) in The Seventh Seal, which makes the appearance of the number 30 in that first Fyodor Vitin post even more interesting. It’s long been theorized that, from what we see in the Haruspex’s route and what we’ve seen in Pathologic 1, the Bachelor’s new route will probably feature General Block much more prominently. Perhaps, as the first ARG was so focused on the inquisitors, we’ll also get to learn more about the army in this one. Maybe General Ashes even had something to do with the building that was reduced to ashes?

The topic of religion, and specifically Christianity, comes up a lot in The Marble Nest. I think all the connections I’ve made in this post to Christianity have convinced you that it’s seemingly an important part of this ARG. In the first ARG, there were certain biblical passages that acted as clues, specifically from the Gospel according to John, which we talked about in the section on the “Messages” post. As is also mentioned in that section, the connection to Inquisitors Peter Kroy and Mark Karminsky seems to be driving us toward looking into The Gospel according to Peter and The Gospel according to Mark. It’s also talked about in that section how these both relate to Daniil. Mark Karminsky specifically also seems to have had something to do with the "Accident" mentioned in the newspaper, and so perhaps combining numbers from the newspaper within the Gospel of Mark could lead to some clues.

Still, as much as I’ve said in this post, there is more I wish to analyze but have not yet. This post has been in the works for a while, though, and I don’t want people to be waiting any longer, so I’ll have to save that other stuff for another day.

If anyone can somehow get into the game files of the Marble Nest and retrieve the texture/model for any of the letters or books (like the two linked images), that will end up being very helpful.

Other screenshots from Pathologic 2/The Marble Nest that could be of interest:

Grigory Gorky (Pathologic 2) Grigory Gorky (The Marble Nest) Mikhail Goba (The Marble Nest) Daniil Death Certificate (The Marble Nest) Rug (The Marble Nest) Book (The Marble Nest) Familiar Bloody Handprint (The Marble Nest) Tipped Over Lantern (The Marble Nest) Staff Sergeant Plover (The Marble Nest) Avrely Gubar (The Marble Nest) Odd use of Roman Numerals (The Marble Nest) Cathedral Letter (The Marble Nest) Plant that I found several times in the Cathedral (The Marble Nest)

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

--

Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

--

The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

--

Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

--

Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

--

All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.

[butch-reidentified]

one of the things I find most irritating is the ppl claiming i have ever once implied that i think my connection w nature/the universe/whatever is inherently deeper or more meaningful than theirs. this just reeks of insecurity and projection as I've been so very deliberate in saying the opposite this entire time yet they're still spreading that around. they're mad about my word choice bc they took it to mean something it doesn't and now blame me for that when I literally said from day 1 it's an art thing to me lmao. sorry you didn't read. i haven't once, not once, changed what I'm saying in this. and MOST ppl are seeing that clearly. idc if youre mad i dont "just say i like the aesthetic" bc it's an entire artistic medium for me not just "aesthetic." i explained what i meant by terms day 1 and yall didn't like the answers, but that's not on me, sorry.

this discourse is uniquely funny (in a loose sense of the word) bc one quick irl conversation would clear it all up so fast. it's such a miscommunication- and assumption-rooted issue. anyone who knows me irl (honestly who's even run into me in a shop one time irl) who saw the descriptions being written "about me" would not recognize them as about me in a million years. that's a big part of my frustration and desire to disengage. a version of me has taken life in this that isn't me, and coincidentally reminds me of the whole thing of "corrosively-sheathed" making up a version of me in their head and doubling down that it's representative of the real me.

i need a little breathing room bc it's futile to fight ghosts, and atp that's all this is for me. desperately trying to stop a train that's long since left the station and taken my name with it.

those of you who know me/get me/are capable of the grace and patience to trust me when I say "this isn't me," thank you. I need to remind myself you're the only ones whose voices need to matter to me.

🖤

edit to add my comment on this:

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

Every Current Formula 1 Driver But I Decided They Were All Bugs

No Thoughts, Head Empty, Only Insects I Enjoyed From My Single Entomology Class Several Years Ago. Sorry to folks from outside the states. Most of these are like. my local critters.

Max Verstappen - Appalachian Jewelwing, Calopteryx angustipennis I have no reasoning behind this one. He just gives me the vibes of a damselfly kinda man.

Sergio Pérez - Synoeca Cyanea, a species of warrior wasp, or just the Synoeca genus again, literally no justification besides he's on the dark blue team and I just really like these wasps. Please read the Synoeca wikipedia page. they are SO cool.

Lewis Hamilton - Violet Carpenter Bee, Xylocopa violacea fashionable! cool lookin bee!

George Russell - Blue Hawker, Aeshna cyanea

Charles Leclerc - Cattle Killer/Cow Killer, Dasymutilla occidentalis (letting my south midwestern hick jump OUT here. most folks call em velvet ants)

Carlos Sainz - Red Admiral, Vanessa atalanta

Lando Norris - Walker's Cicada, Megatibicen pronotalis this is NOT meant to be a drag I actually love these freakishly loud animals but he just gives bright green cicada energy.

Oscar Piastri - Green Carpenter Bee, Xylocopa aerata cop out? yeah. good bee and something that feels correct? yes.

Fernando Alonso - Mourning Cloak, Nymphalis antiopa i love these fuckin bugs. absolute freaks of nature. they live for like a full year and they're always wandering around and getting up to something. plus they're very distinguished.

Lance Stroll - Common Buckeye, Junonia coenia I'm not even gonna elaborate on this one.

Valtteri Bottas - Eastern Cicada Hawk, Sphecius speciosus I just think they're neat!

Zhou Guanyu - Ebony Jewelwing, Calopteryx maculata blatant favoritism here. The ebony jewelwing is perhaps my all time favorite bug from home :) (its also v stylish)

Esteban Ocon - Chinese Mantis, Tenodera sinensis a noble creature that frequently scares the life out of me when i find one outside my window. Why the fuck are you so long. I appreciate u anyway.

Pierre Gasly - European Field Cricket, Gryllus campestris he just *feels* a bit crickety. Idk what to tell u man.

Kevin Magnussen - Halloween Beetle (or in America, the Japanese Lady Bug), Harmonia axyridis the most determined little bastard in the animal kingdom. They WILL get into your apartment through that microscopic sliver in the window.

Nico Hulkenberg - Green June Beetle, Cotinis nitida idk dude he just serves local scarab

Daniel Ricciardo - Black-And-Yellow Mud Dauber, Sceliphron caementarium im sure you are all noticing how much i love wasps by now. i was SO brave not making this a wasp only post. if ur american and a hick (hey girl(gn) hey) you'll know these guys From Constantly Being In Your Car's Inner Workings

Yuki Tsunoda - Bullet Ant, Paraponera clavata tiny but mighty!!!!! (short king solidarity)

Alex Albon - Great Black Wasp, Sphex pensylvanicus yet more blatant favoritism for my faves. Yes this post is so i can assign the williams boys and zg my fave types of local bugs. Anyway. this is one of the best wasps in the world. if u see her irl please stop for a moment to appreciate her. she's usually a docile species but she is very big and i love her. (good hunter too)

Logan Sargeant - Blue Dasher, Pachydiplax longipennis the ultimate late spring and all of summer insect of america. voted america's sweetheart of every local body of water eight millionth year in a row!!!! one of the best dragonflies in the country and i am serious!!! if u live in north america this summer, find a LAKE, a POND, A RIVER, perhaps even a CREEK!!!!!! A POOL WILL EVEN GET YOU! you'll find these folks. at current you might catch mating flight season!!! anyway. these are crazy good hunters and they're a beautiful little baby blue shade. anyway. logan and the rest of williams should go huntin for these when he gets back to florida. think it would fix em.

[yersina]

a linguist plays chants of sennaar (pt 3)

[pt 1] [pt 2] [x] [pt 4] [pt 5]

onwards and upwards!

disclaimer: can't promise that i'll have any insights that a layperson wouldn't have, this is kinda just me thinking through the grammar of the language out loud haha.

this post covers the third language and will contain spoilers! it also assumes that you know what all of the symbols mean already.

have a huge soft spot for this language the most out of all of them haha. again, missed part of the gameplay for the dictionary—i couldn’t find the last fruit to feed the monkey lmao. also, i had the game open while writing this post this time, so more screenshots, yay!

visually, i'd say that this compares to arabic script or devanagari, especially with the line that runs through all of the characters, but it's still a logographic language. culturally/artistically, i think it's meant to represent how flow-y and artistic the bards are haha. i also remember seeing something once about the thai script (which this is not entirely dissimilar to) and how it was originally written on organic matter (eg leaves, bark, etc idk) and needed to have loops in order to work against the grain of the leaves. i haven’t done my due diligence and confirmed that in any historical or anthropological context yet, but it seems plausible to me?? the bards do seem to have a more tropical environment, tho again it’s likely just an artistic decision haha

once again, in terms of visual patterns in the words, we can see that a verb is indicated by a dot in the top right hand corner. the people words ("warrior", "bard", "you", "i/me") seem to all have a swoopy symbol that crosses the horizontal line, which is interesting. the only exception is "idiot", which might be because it's primarily functions as an adjective. locative nouns, including the cardinal directions, have a dot below the line. the only noun that includes a dot is “compass”, which might be a reflection of its connection to location? as in it contains locations, or navigates to locations? i’m uncertain. interestingly, the only non-person nouns that touch the horizontal line are “monster” and “greeting”, which might also be indicative of the senses of those words—if we recategorize “monster” with the people-words and “greeting” with the verbs, then we don’t have any outliers. however, this would include a word without a dot in the verb category. perhaps at some point in the evolution of the bard’s language, “greeting” lost its verb features? again, i’m unsure and possibly reading too far into it lmao.

this is our first OSV (object subject verb) language! ngl, i was annoyed by the way the game chose to translate the meaning into english—there are plenty of verb-final languages out there irl, no need to be so literal with the translation lol. amusingly, we see this being the most apparent when translating between the bards’ language (which is OSV and has plural marker suffixes) and the warriors’ language (which is SVO and has plural marker prefixes). absolutely none of the characters line up w each other lmao

(we can also see from this exchange that there’s no distinction between “go/pass” (i.e, from here to there) and “come” (from there to here), which is not something that i specifically noted before. interesting! again, i assume this is due to the capacity of these languages being limited.)

this is also our first possible (possible) indication of punctuation, with “question”. i’ve seen some people directly translate the “question” word as <¿?> (the punctuation marks), which i’m hesitant to do, especially considering that there’s no other evidence of punctuation in any of the languages. irl, japanese (and other languages) has a question word <か>, which indicates orally that something is a question—the bards’ language could easily have something similar.

we also see this mirrored in “not” in terms of grammatical structure, which probably indicates something about how auxiliary verbs are used/placed in this language (even tho “not” isn’t a verb—i’m sure there’s a linguistic category that includes the both of them but it escapes me rn). someone else on tumblr called this negative concord, and julia on an sss stream likened it to the french “ne pas”, and yes that is what this is, but it’s also… a little different?? my academic interest in linguistics when i was in school lay more in socio-cultural contexts than syntax so this is definitely NOT my area of expertise at all, so take what i say here with a large hunk of salt:

after some very brief research, it seems that negation can either take place at the sentence-level (e.g., through verbs like “can’t” or “won’t”) or through negative words (e.g., “nobody”, “nowhere”). so, a sentence like “i don’t go nowhere” (meaning “i don’t go anywhere”) achieves double negation through negating once at the sentence-level and once at the word-level. standard english doesn’t have negative concord, but some dialects do. different languages treat multiple negation differently; sometimes it conveys a slightly different meaning (from wikipedia: “you’re not unattractive” vs “you’re attractive”) and sometimes it intensifies the negation (also from wikipedia: “i haven’t never owed nothing to no one”).

the thing that i’m struggling with in the bard’s language is that the negation isn’t… attached to anything??? it’s not affixed to a verb or a noun, so really it’s not conveying negation of a particular thing, it’s negation of the whole sentence….???? which (in my mind) isn’t… really… negative concord. if that makes sense. like sure, there’s two symbols of it at both ends of the sentence, but it’s more indicative of the meaning of the sentence as a whole, rather than conveying smth abt a specific word. like it's not as if both of them mean "no" or each of them are adding meaning in a particular way. so. that’s why i’m more inclined to take it as a general grammatical feature of the language, along with “question”, and say that this is just how the language treats auxiliary/modal/whatever words??? it’s not as if we have other evidence. 😐

another option could be that negation w a noun takes places as a prefix (e.g., "not-warrior") and negation w a verb takes place as a suffix (e.g., "be-not"), so because of the OSV word order, you end up with something like ("not-warrior you be-not" or "a warrior, you're not").

HOWEVER. we do see some instances of the game's internal translation of some sentences conveying a slightly different meaning than a pure ('pure') negation, which makes figuring out the syntactic structure of this language kinda difficult.

if we take each of the "not" words as a negation, we'd end up with "not-hammer i carry-not", which is not "a hammer, i miss" lol. (to demonstrate w an english equivalent example: "i ain't no warrior" vs "i don't carry no hammer"). if you're a speaker of a negative concord language/dialect, pls pls feel free to correct me here; my intuition's going to be slightly off because i haven't studied any languages where this would be relevant. I think it could work, probably, but again, it's really difficult to say anything concrete without more examples. given its congruence with the "can you get a hammer" example, though, i really am inclined to say that this is just a grammar thing, not a negative concord thing (even tho negative concord IS a grammar thing—you get my drift).

questions that remain unanswered: - does the fact that "question" is two dots relate to the presence of dots in the verbs and locative nouns?

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[shamera]

March-April manhwa reccs

In the vein of my last few reccs, here is the latest instalment in Shams-reads-too-much (I know it's only mid-April). This time, I'm back to the top 3 format but with a list of Honorable Mentions because oh boy, the readin' don't stop!

3. The Guild Member Next Door [30 chapters so far]

How is no one talking about this one? The first BL series to make it on my top lists, this is an online gamer meet-ugly cafe story that had me cackling through every chapter. It will brighten your day (threat). The story of an office worker slash secret gamer who starts playing the MMO Illusion and tries to join Poseidon guild only to immediately get PK'ed and accused of being a stalker's alt account, and in his revenge he befriends the entire guild as an FU to his attacker, only for his attacker to in-game propose to him to troll him in return. An adorable and hilarious story following the two as they purposefully step on each other's toes all the way until they're friends in-game, never realizing that they actually know each other IRL!

2. Martial God Regressed to Level 2 [one season]

Let's just say in chapter 1 all of humanity dies, so we already know how this story's going to go. Another OP protagonist whom I really enjoy, starting from scratch in hopes of saving the world. It's Seong Jihan's relationship with his family that makes this series hit different, as he not only uses his knowledge to try and prevent humanity's tragedies, but also does his best this time around to save his niece from her downward mental spiral and become a good role model for her after her father walks away. With little to lose now that he knows what's to come, the MC is more than willing to make enemies out of everyone to ensure they step up their game before the real fight for humanity begins.

1. SSS-Class Suicide Hunter [3 seasons]

This was already on Honorable Mentions back in December, and I know my recc list is meant for new reads, but I had to slap this down again after the PHENOMENAL season 3 ending. We've already seen Kim Gongja's crazy fights to ascend the tower, but the sheer hope. The belief in a better world that these characters have, and their determination to make it so, brought me to tears at the end of season 3. The story of a hunter with negative survival instincts, and a power that allows him to regress to a day before he dies every time he dies... it's not the type of story that I expected to see such delicate beauty within suffering, but here we are, with an MC ready to delve into storybooks to empathize with and relieve the suffering of the characters within, no matter what it takes. I'm so excited for season 4 and the next storybook, I am vibrating.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Raising a Sacrifice

This series is impossible to describe and impossible to put down for long. This is the ultimate fantasy time-loop transmigration system apocalypse god-maker BL I have ever read? It's what happens when the apocalypse keeps resetting and you can never escape that last year no matter how many times you die, and the toll on one's mental state when you start trying-- everything. Murder. Genocide. Madness. And falling in love, again and again and again. And being alone again, after every reset. Thousands and millions of times until you lose all hope, until one day... the MC wakes up with memories of being murdered by his faithful knight, and now there's finally two people with memories beyond one timeline.

Medical Return [complete!!]

The story of a surgeon who led a pitiful life, only to return to his childhood once more by the grace of the gods-- and this time he's determined to not lead the same life again! Now if only the world got that hint, as he seems to be continuously steered back onto his original path, while trying to dodge the tragedies in his life and save just one more person others gave up for dead. This time around, he has a little outside help to finally uncover just why his life went so wrong at every turn the first time and help him retain that inherent goodness without being taken advantage of once more. With an MC with a deposition truly befitting a good doctor, this is for all fans of hospital dramas, and is complete!!

Kill the Villainess [complete!!]

The only way to return home is to play the role of the villainess, Eris, who is condemned to death after attempting to kill the heroine. There is no way to escape that fate, as Eris can't even succeed at taking her own life before she completes her part in the plot. The story of a villainess trying to die to change the story, yet unable to as she continues to uncover backstory beyond the original novel to find the reason why her soul was stuck in this world and unable to leave, while attempting to bypass paths that would trap her in the novel forever. At what point will her actions make her a true villain, and just what is she willing to do in order to return home to the real world?

Little Mushroom

...my cheat this month, with me using the novel cover and everything. (Please read the books, there are only 2 novels and the prose is breathtaking.) The manhua is absolutely gorgeous beyond compare, and the story covers a sentient mushroom post-apocalypse who is journeying into a dangerous human settlement trying to find the spore that was taken from him. In a world where threats to humans loom at every corner and shadow, drastic measures are taken to protect those who survive, employing "Judges" with absolute power to kill if they suspect a being of not being human. It's the story of a non-human and a Judge finding themselves and each other by navigating the active end of the world.

My Darling Signed In [complete!!]

Cute?? Adorable???? Another online gamer couple who meet in real life, this BL story is genuinely all fluff as the MC is found to play a beautiful female elf online, yet their beau falls in love either way as it was the same charisma and personality that drew them in. A green flag couple with turns that surprised me every time with how wholesome things are. It's 2 seasons and complete, featuring them from collage to work space through their ups and downs, navigating their relationship and growing as people all the while continuing their game. Do you need a cute read with a guaranteed happy ending? Here it is!!

Zero Day Attack [1 season done]

Another BL on the list?? This month is full of surprises, as this time it's about a hacker who had to go into hiding after being exposed and is now a barista by day while working to find the man who betrayed him by night, all the while running away from both the organizations he hacked and his old colleagues who are looking for him. Things get complicated when a man who shows up at the cafe he works at won't leave him alone, and blurs the line between his search for revenge and the fake life he's currently living. This one eked its way above Netkama Punch for the mystery and intrigue (as well as having a main couple who is obsessed with each other without wanting to bring harm to the other).

I Will Change the Genre

A transmigrater meets a regressor, and suddenly the novel plot is going very, very awry! In the novel, Judith Maybaum is the hateful aunt of the main character who betrays her nephew and dies for it, yet "Judith Maybaum" isn't actually the same character now, and her nephew is also acting very odd when the story starts rolling. She's determined that her nephew will not go through his lonely and sorrowful life this time around, even if it means giving his custody to the Duke Winterwald, yet for some reason the protagonist clings to her and calls her 'mother' when the Duke comes to take him away! A touching and funny story with, once again, a green flag couple as well as an adorable aunt and nephew pair, both with foreknowledge of the future in different ways as they mess things up and unravel a story that neither of them knew.

GOOD ENOUGH I READ EVERYTHING: -Netkama Punch -The Bromance Book Club [complete] -The Live [complete] -I'll Be the Matriarch in this Life -Reincarnator -Dark Mage Returns to Enlistment -The Main Characters that Only I Know -My Lucky Encounter from the Game Turned Reality -The Archmage's Restaurant -I Tamed a Tyrant and Ran Away -I Created an Urban Legend -The Regressed Demon Lord is Kind