#SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS EVEN IF I DONT

[simpjaes]

Hey I saw your Jay x Sunghoon fic and I was thinking if you could write Sunghoon and Jake fic where Jake thinks Sunghoon has a big dick but finds out he does not and Jake fucks him and like degrades him🙏

warning: jake bottoms actually, sunghoon stuffs his pants lmfao

note: don't wanna read mxm? then dont. it's that easy!!!

~ Sunghoon wishes he could live up to the ego Jake has given him over the last few months.

He really, really, wishes he could.

A night-time shame session is what he's usually left with after hanging out with his dear Jake. Always so alone when he's pulling the sock out of his pants with an embarrassed expression despite no one around to catch him in his lie.

Arguably, he should have a big dick, shouldn't he? With shoulders so broad, legs so long...he should at least be a little more than average right? A shower and a grower?

Sunghoon stands ashamed in front of his bathroom mirror after a shower, narrowing his eyes at his groin. He's not a shower, and barely a grower.

Five inches is average, that's what google says. Five inches is enough to get girls off, reddit says. Five inches is the best selling size of dildos. Five inches.

Probably five inches less than what Jake would want. God, why did he feed into the little comments? Why did he start stuffing his pants? Why does he still get off the to the fact that Jake seems to want him soooo badly based on the size of his cock?! And that leads to now, with Jake's tongue all over Sunghoon's neck and his hands reaching dangerously close to the most embarrassing, heart shattering lie known to man. Sunghoon tries to pull his hips back and away, but god it feels so good to finally have someone on him again. His hips fight the need to keep his secret, pressing up, almost chasing Jake's hand until... Jake squeezes, his tongue pulling back in his mouth as he lifts his head to meet Sunghoon's gaze. He squeezes again, now raising a brow. "Is that a fucking sock?" Jake snorts in shock, blatantly grabbing the non-cock in Sunghoon's pants. "There's no fucking way." Sunghoon looks away from him, flushed cheeks going darker as he holds his breath. How can he even explain himself? He knew allowing Jake to suddenly leap forward and kiss him was a bad idea, and he knew lying him down on the bed was an even worse idea. But he just, he likes Jake so much. The inevitable is coming. Sunghoon can feel it in the way Jake's hands fumble at the hem of his pants, shoving them down and revealing, yes, a fucking sock. Ah, he winces in embarrassment, squeezing his eyes shut in preparation for the mocking, the shaming, the- "Hoonie," Jake says sternly, gripping the very average, less than amazing sized cock. "Why the fuck are you stuffing your pants?" "You said I looked like I'd have a big dick..." He says it pathetically with a croak in his voice, keeping his eyes closed despite that nice grip he feels around the head of his length. "I didn't want to disappoint." Jake sighs, knowing Sunghoon can't see the smile on his face. "Honestly? You can't be that small." Jake tries to make excuses for him. "I'll still choke on i-" Jake cuts himself off at the realization that Sunghoon is very, very average. There it is. Sunghoon fumbled him. It's over. He can't even respond at this point as the embarrassment threatens to come up in the form of sickness. He stomach hurts. His cock is going soft and sore, and the fucking sock is just lying there beside them laughing about it. "I-" Sunghoon starts. "I understand." "Like, I really expected more than this" Jake pokes and prods, trying to keep him hard, letting his tongue fall out and lick up and against Sunghoon's neck again. "What? Is it like, three inches or something?" There's confusion in Sunghoon's gut now. What the fuck is happening right now. "It's five." Sunghoon mumbles with a pout. "We'll make it work." Jake giggles against him. "What, you expect to shove a sock in me?" Sunghoon isn't exactly pleased with this awkward instance but the fact that Jake somehow still wants him means something. "Wait-" Sunghoon opens his eyes, grabbing Jake's hair at the back of his scalp and forcing him to look at him. It's more gentle than rough, but Jake loves it. "We'll make it work?" Jake sighs into his grasp, eyes slightly rolling back at Sunghoon's hold. "If you keep grabbing me like this, yeah." Fair enough. Sunghoon thinks now is a better time than ever to prove that despite him not being a nine incher, at least he knows how to use the five inches he's got. "Yeah?" Sunghoon says, confidence now rising. "Suck it then." Perfect. Jake thinks he's perfect actually. After all, it's not like he wasn't all talk too. If anything, he's never taken anything too big and he swore up and down he could deep throat. At least now, he actually can. And he does. He even gags a little bit, which only drives Sunghoon further. He's not huge, but he's clearly big enough.

[uraharasfavoriteexperiment]

lol bitch dont post comments on my luigi mangione fanfictions about how gross they are. about how its "gross" that im madly in love with luigi mangione. "i can't believe i'm seeing this shit" i can't believe your mother hated you so much you actually had the confidence to post that. block me, virgin. you three fools- yes i'm talking to the three of you- made mistakes posting those comments on my blog. be lucky i deleted the comments instead of doing what my headmates wanted me to do.

i dunno if you three jealous little bitches hate a) me, b) the fact that i clearly write better than you, c) the fact that i love and support luigi mangione, d) the fact that that particular story was targeted to agender, nonbinary, gender-anonymous/in the closet, and gender non-identifying luigi fans instead of you sorry lil bitches... but the next time someone comes all up in my grill yapping about how gross i am for supporting an innocent millennial, i'm gonna lose my shit, and you're gonna regret it and i'm not. i realize the tone of this whole damn post honestly makes me look like a huge narcissist, but it's 2025 and i don't have time to hate myself just because you decided you hate some random 19-year-old polyamorous trans dude on a dying fanfiction blog application.

besides, i'm so hot i have 3 consenting boyfriends who all have the hots for me and each other, so what in this burning world makes you think someone calling my headcanons gross is gonna huwt my feewingses? bitch please touch some grass, get a life.

whats crazy is i'm not even old enough to be buying the benchmark, everclear and absinthe i drink. i'm 19. you 3 random women are probably like what 30?? who gives a fuck if thats a bad guess i didnt even look at ur blog bitch

get off the internet and go walk your pet irritators, you unpleasant cock-starved wine-dry pack of kaprosuchus. do something besides bully random teenagers on the internet, neither you or i have time for this petty 2000's bullshit. act like what year it is, act your age. it's 2025, revolt against the government or don't bother opening tumblr. if you follow the rules then tumblr isn't for you. if you hate teenagers then tumblr isn't for you.

bitches r lucky i don't tag you, let my whole little train of cult followers bite your tits.

fuck.

[bamsara]

I love Arson he's my favorite heater but I should really get a cheap laptop one day so I can leave the house to write because the Noise. Is . Too Much. I need to go write in the forest

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

[deoidesign]

For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)

It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!

I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!

It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up

[divorcedfiddleford]

it is friday my dudes (little hearts added by @tazmiilly)

[topaziraphale]

"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

[firefl1ezz]

i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?

[greenerteacups]

most of my AO3 comments are really amazing but every now and then i'll get one that is just wildly entitled

like someone just wrote a comment on ch38 that's like "please have them get together soon i don't want to wait. also [x] needs more character development." ??? bitch i'm not a menu why are you out here trying to order

[girlthingdecay]

.

[sanjisboyfie]

┊ ⋆˚  about this blog !

— first and foremost, this is a male reader blog !!! i only write male reader inserts, the usage of she/her pronouns will never, ever be applied to any of my works that involve an insertion of yourself into the scenario. that being said, i don't really think i can/will enforce that those that read my work are only those that use he/him prns. so let's say, if those who use she/her pronouns decide to read my work, i won't purge them off of this page (i don't think i spend that much time on here to even do that) and burn them at the stake. all i very POLITELY ask is that: you don't interact malignantly with me or my posts. i don't tag my work "x fem reader", only "x male reader" and "x reader" so there shouldn't be any worries of my work "cluttering" (<- lmmmffaaoooooo) your tags of "x female reader"

— of course this ^ can be subject to change and become stricter if i start gaining negative attention from fem-alligned readers. so NOT SAYING IT'S SET IN STONE because that how i feel about this just right now.

— i plan on using this blog to just broaden the reach of one of my fanfics (keep safe) with the occasional posting of a smau/modern!au post every now and then.

— every now and then i might post a yandere drabble, oneshot, headcanon, etc just wanted to put that here since i know that it's not everyone cup of tea and wanted to disclaim this. some of the yandere headcanons already exist on here, but i think (i hope) i tagged it all appropiately....(i hope)

alright, that's all thank you for reading <3 jaime

[sege-h]

Ummmm it doesnt matter that character ages were removed from the Sonic character profiles they do still have their old canon ages and if you think that actualllyyyyy they never acted or sounded like those ages then youre a creep looking for excuses to put them in adult situations :/ Like thats child endangerment that you're depicting there??? Why do you wanna see that blorbo of yours beaten and bloodied and traumatized??? You ACTUALLY wanna beat up kids? You freak??

And why are you drawing him driving a fucking car he should not be driving a car he's a child! And STOP drawing Shadow with guns!!! Children shouldn't have those!

And while you're at it, stop drawing art of Amy working at a bakery! Like wow what a freak you actually want to break child labor laws in real life???

I know plenty of 12 year olds that own apartments and cars of their own, so I can confirm that these characters were always ALWAYS meant to be their previously listed canon ages! If you say otherwise youre a freak!

(This is Not a serious post, for the love of god)

[weirdlizard26]

so bizarre to me that my love language is apparently recording music for people. how did this even happen

[abyssalpriest]

My favourite "Lev being funny though I don't actually know if he's being funny on purpose" thing is him randomly telling me shit he's eaten. Like I'll tell him something while he's possessing my body like "ugh god don't eat that food it was left out, might have had bugs crawl on it" and he'll already be eating it saying something like "I've eaten bugs I don't care". I can't tell you how many times I've heard "I've eaten worse" when it comes to all sorts of shit like raw meat and sea creatures and intestines and bugs and plants and all sorts of animals and ROCKS (when he was around earlier he tried so hard to not say he likes lapis lazuli because of its texture lmfao and I could feel it)

Tho I have to give special mention bc it's still playing in my head to the funniest fucking time (paraphrased) -

Random YouTube video of this slimy huge millipede-esque creature wriggling: Would you eat this -

Lev: Yes.

Random video: - for a million dollars?

Lev: Yes. Give me my money

Me: You'd eat that??

Lev: Yes. And I want a million dollars. Give it to me

[martyrbat]

👍👍

[l-cereta]

in a bad mood for multiple unrelated reasons :thumbsup: