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ellecdc · 2 months ago

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spiked woes and revenge

poly!darksun x fem!reader who is slipped a love potion [2.1k words]

prompts: from my darksun disciples @butt3rnugg3t : "darksun (I'm obsessed and I'm not sorry) with a reader who gets slipped a love potion without knowing?", as well as @underoospeterparker : "could I request poly!darksun x reader where they're both really protective over her"

CW: drugging someone, anxiety and concern, friends responding perhaps violently, hurt comfort, hateful and disgusting men being publicly shamed :)

James and Barty were just making their way up the stairs to the 7th year Gryffindor boys dormitory when they came upon a peculiar sight.

The door - which was notoriously ajar should any number of friends or acquaintances want to drop by (with the exception of first thing in the morning when they were dressing for school, the end of the day when they were getting ready for bed, or when there was a very pointed tie hanging by the handle) - was not only closed, but there were the telltale plumes of smoke indicative of a potion being brewed within the dorm room walls trailing beneath the ancient wooden door.

“But what if he doesn’t like me?” Came your muffled voice then; painted with worry and…tears?

“Hey, it’s alright, Trouble.” James heard Sirius counter, though he didn’t miss the anxious tilt of his voice. “You’re impossible not to like.”

“You know who likes you an awful lot?” Remus added then, though it sounded as though his attention was split between you and whatever else was happening in the dorm room. “James and Junior.”

“So much, Y/N.” Lily agreed quickly, before her voice dropped as she hissed “where the sodding hell are they!?” to someone else in the room.

Yet whatever James thought he was about to walk into didn’t even compare to the chaos that was their dorm room.

Regulus, Lily, and Remus were all hovering in front of a makeshift potions station in the centre of the room; Remus dutifully checking and rechecking the brewing instructions from a heavy tome, Regulus chopping and prepping the ingredients with an efficient precision, and Lily expertly stirring the potion whilst keeping an eye on the heat and adding the ingredients as Remus read them out and Regulus handed them to her.

Marlene and Dorcas stood to the side of the room, muttering angrily under their breaths as Marlene paced back and forth, though she kept her eyes trained dutifully on you, and Sirius had you wrapped up in one of their throws - so tightly that James wondered if it didn’t actually hurt - like a muggle straight jacket as he rubbed your back and rocked you back and forth, Peter hovering over you with a tissue in one hand to catch falling tears and a fan in the other to keep you cool.

“What in the buggering fuck is going on here?” Barty spat then, apparently having come to his senses faster than James.

“Hey! Hey Trouble, look! Look who it is!” Sirius started with forced enthusiasm, rubbing your back with new vigour as he tried to get you to turn your attention to your two boyfriends. You hardly spared them a glance.

“What’s the matter, angel? What’s with the tears?” James asked cautiously, easing his way over like the scene was a live wire ready to explode with one wrong move.

“I’m scared. I don’t feel good Jamie.” You admitted, which James could very well see, though you immediately followed it up with “and what if he doesn’t like me?”

“What if who doesn’t like you?” Barty asked then with a hard edge to his voice that saw James swatting at him warningly and Regulus hissing “would you take it easy, Junior?”

“McLaggen.” Marlene answered for you; muttering the name with so much disdain that James almost wondered if it was the delivery itself that saw you burst into tears.

“McKinnon, please.” Peter whined then, working overtime with both his tissue and his fan, looking like he was sweating nearly as much as you were and just as close to hysterics.

“James?” Remus whispered, his eyes widening in warning. “A word, please?”

Both James and Barty wretched their attention from you to join the impromptu potions class.

“Listen, you cannot freak out; we’re brewing the antidote right now, but-”

“What antidote?” Barty interrupted darkly, causing Regulus to scoff at his oldest friend.

“Junior, what did we just say?”

“Listen, the two of you have one job right now.” Lily spat then; her tone taking on a no nonsense quality that had both boys unintentionally standing up straighter. “And that one job is to help keep her calm, got it?”

“Okay. Alright.” James agreed breathily, but Lily’s fiery gaze turned to Barty as she raised one perfectly arched auburn brow at him expectantly.

“Merlin,” He groaned, though they all watched him take a steadying breath, “okay, okay. What antidote are you brewing?”

“The Love Potion Antidote.” Regulus responded quickly, handing Lily the wiggentree twigs that Remus directed him to prep, watching over the cauldron as the potion turned green.

“Love Potion?” James hissed.

“She was slipped a Love Potion!?” Barty added.

“Looks like it.” Remus muttered darkly, though his face turned soft and pitiful when he looked over his shoulder to watch Sirius and Peter trying to keep you calm.

“Alice overheard him asking her to Hogsmeade next weekend after Astronomy class yesterday. She declined, obviously.” Lily explained.

“Looks like he’s not used to rejection.” Regulus spat bitterly.

“Oh, he’s going to get used to rejection alright.” Barty muttered threateningly as he reached for his wand and made to storm out of the room, only for Marlene and Dorcas to block his exit.

“One job.” Marlene demanded then, gesturing roughly in your direction.

“It’s orange, now what?” Lily asked, and Remus flipped the page in the tome.

“Add castor oil until it turns blue.”

“I…I think maybe I should go?” You whimpered then; sentence dotted by hiccups and sniffling as you seemed to be staring unseeingly into the room. “I should go, right?”

“Hey, angel; you’re alright. I think you’re good here, huh?” James tried as he kneeled in front of you, and Peter seemed more than happy to step aside and make room for your boyfriends. “What do you say? We’ll just…hang out for a bit?”

“But I think I should go see McLaggen.” You pouted, and James had to remind himself to tamp down the anger threatening to boilover at the sight of your tearstained face.

“Or,” Barty started then, and James prayed to the gods that he kept his wits about him, “why don’t we try to relax for a bit, and if you still feel like seeing him afterwards, we’ll all go pay him a visit?”

Dorcas let out a humourless snort at that. “I vote for option number two.”

“And….we’re blue.” Lily announced then, snuffing the flame out from beneath the potion and transferring it to a vial. “We’re gonna get you feeling better, Y/N.” She promised.

“Okay, thank you.” You all but sobbed in response.

“What’s with the restraints?” Barty asked then as he pulled at the blanket wrapped around your being.

“We didn’t handle being told to sit down very well.” Sirius responded for you, tightening his arm around your shoulders comfortingly as Peter rubbed a quickly growing red welt on the side of his cheek.

“I’m sorry.” You nearly wailed as Lily made for you. “I just feel like I’m supposed to go find McLaggen!”

“Don’t worry, Treasure.” Barty assured you with a disturbing amount of composure. “We’re absolutely going to go find McLaggen, okay? Why don’t we take the potion Lily made for you, hm? Get you feeling better first.”

Barty spoke over the discontented grumblings of Regulus and Remus who ‘also helped make the potion, thank you very much’ as he took the vial from Lily and held it up to your mouth. “Big drink, okay Tres?”

James was glad that you were as agreeable as you were in your discontented state, simply wrapping your blanket clad hands around Barty’s and allowing him to hold the vial as you drank the entire potion down.

“It reads here that she’s probably going to be very tired and more than a little confused for a while, but the anxiety and lust should be gone.” Remus explained; James could kiss the sod.

“Good. Good, yeah? That’s good, right angel? Do you feel better?”

You sucked in a deep, shuddering breath as you licked a droplet of the potion from your lips and considered your answer before nodding slowly. “I…yeah. Yeah, I- I think so. I think I feel better.”

No sooner had the words left your lips did Lily grab her wand. “Great! Ready to go?” She asked no one in particular, but both Marlene and Dorcas answered in the affirmative immediately.

“Where are you three going?” James asked cautiously.

“You know,” Dorcas drawled casually as she began rummaging through Sirius’ trunk, though the long-haired boy hardly seemed to mind, “we just realised that we haven’t caught up with our old classmate in so long.”

“A shame, really.” Marlene agreed as Dorcas filled her bag with various dung bombs, charmed firecrackers, and other various pranking paraphernalia. “All this talk about inter house unity, and we neglect a vast majority of our peers.”

“We’re going to change that.” Lily declared as she swiped the Marauders Map from Remus’ desk. “Starting with McLaggen.”

And with that, Lily shot you a wink, Dorcas a salute, and Marlene blew a kiss before the three witches closed the door to the boys’ dorm behind them.

“Can I take this off now?” You asked then, wriggling under Sirius arm as you tried to free yourself from your blanketed prison.

“Only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself.” Sirius teased as he unravelled the blanket, causing you to fluster as you shot Peter your best doe eyes.

“I really am sorry, Pete.”

“Oh…it’s alright.” Peter offered with a nervous laugh, though he winced as he prodded the tender portion of his jaw that was well on its way to bruising. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

“What the hell happened?” Barty asked then; shoving the offended blanket off your shoulders and taking the fan from Peter (rather roughly, though Peter seemed more than glad to be effectively dismissed from his job) and started fanning you off.

“I…I honestly don’t even know? Professor Slughorn was handing out chocolates to us after class today for a job well done, and whilst he was doing that, McLaggen approached me again asking if I wasn’t entirely sure I didn’t want to go to Hogsmeade with him.”

You were interrupted by James and Sirius grumbling, Remus scoffing, and Barty muttering something along the lines of “ask first, respect the answer, fuck face” under his breath.

“And I said no, and left. I didn’t drink anything or-”

“Did you eat the chocolate?” Regulus interrupted then, ignoring his best friend’s murderous gaze for daring to speak over his Treasure.

“What?”

“The chocolate that Slughorn handed out. Did you eat it?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Before McLaggen spoke to you, or after?” Regulus continued, inching closer and closer to being hexed straight to hell by Barty.

“After…”

“You think he tampered with the chocolate?” Remus asked then, earning him a shrug of Regulus’ shoulders, though his head moved side to side in semi-confirmation.

“It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“The only thing that makes sense,” Barty spat venomously, “is a fucking dementors kiss for attempted…what? What was his plan?”

No one had the chance to answer, though, when the castle walls shook with the force of a boom coming from outside.

The seven of you all stood and crammed your heads into the alcove of the window to see almost an entire acre of the castle grounds coated in a thick, sludgy yellow substance and one individual slipping and sliding as he tried to make his way out of the mess. Hexes and jinxes were being shot at him from three sides - clearly the doing of Marlene et al., if James recognised her duelling strategies correctly.

“Well…” You offered cautiously. “I guess none of us have to go find McLaggen now?”

Barty seemed wholly unconvinced, but by the time the group of you got to the Great Hall for breakfast the following morning to find McLaggen unable to speak to any femme (student or faculty alike) without first announcing “My name is Tiberius McLaggen and I am a sexual predator.” for all to hear, Barty relented on his insistence to defend your honour.

“The girls beat you to it.” You’d whispered into his cheek before stamping it with a kiss.

James figured this was probably the only time Barty would ever allow himself to be outdone.

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nerdygirlramblings · 22 days ago

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implied poly!141 x fem!reader

pure fluff, abrupt ending

They were smitten the first time they saw you, some new civvie working in the admin building. Price saw you first and was taken in by your open, friendly smile. You were sweet every time he had to come in, always saying hello and asking how his day was. He couldn't help but talk about you to his boys.

Gaz was next, finding reasons to drop by with a question for your boss or "remembering" paperwork he had already brought to someone else. He always seemed to pop in when your boss was out, though, so he had to talk to you about it instead.

Soap noticed how often Gaz was slipping off to your building. He knew Price was smitten; the man had all but admitted as much. But it seemed Gaz wanted to keep his interest in you a secret. Soap never could let a secret go, so he followed Gaz, found him flirting with you, watched you give him soft touches and shy smiles. He couldn't remember the last time Gaz had lost his sharp edges.

He told Ghost what he saw, and the two began watching you.

They saw how you always dropped by medical on Wednesdays with a bakery box in hand. They learned Tuesdays - the first full day of training rookies had - was always busier for medical, so you brought them a pick-me-up after a hard day. They watched you stop and chat with every invisible employee: groundskeepers, maintenance, custodial staff. You made it a point to acknowledge those who were often overlooked. Soap and Ghost didn't interact with you personally, but they fell for your kind heart nonetheless.

It slowly became clear that there were others as enamoured with you as they all were. Flowers on your desk they knew Price didn't send. Lunch delivered when you'd clearly brought your own. A few other officers who stood a little too close and for whom your smile was tight rather than inviting.

They tell all this to Price and Gaz who bring it up with you in their own way.

Gaz asks about the bouquet behind your desk. You tell him they were a gift, and when your tone seems strained, he presses for more, finds out they came from an officer who didn't believe you meant no. Price stops in after a lunch delivery and jokes about you having two meals. Turns out you're allergic to what was delivered (someone obviously did not do their homework), but it was a favorite of the same soldier who sent the flowers.

This man was making their bird uncomfortable, and they wouldn't stand for it.

Slowly, things take a turn for this poor sod whose main flaw was an overbearing interest in you. His reports come back flagged for missing information, and he gets reamed out by his superior. (Gaz hacked the system and deleted things. Don't worry, he fixed it later, after the damage was done.) His flowers get delivered to married women, which raises an HR concern. (Ghost offered the florist double the cost of each bouquet to send them to a list of other people. He told them you didn't want people jealous of your relationship with the soldier and to spread the joy.) He finds himself called to the head of medical about the legal issue of accidental poisoning. (Price dropped by with your ill-delivered lunch to chat with the head and accidentally let it slip how this delicious food was sent to a civilian employee deathly allergic to some of the ingredients.)

The boys could have gotten dirty and taken matters into their own hands, but they wanted to be able to keep themselves clear of the fallout. To be there for you in the aftermath.

It took about two weeks, but eventually the officer was demoted and transferred. Word gets around the other soldiers how the 141 was protecting its own. They staked their claim on you before you ever realized it.

Two days after the incident, Price shows up with a vase of your favorite flowers (courtesy of Soap's intel). Later that day, Gaz invites you to your favorite restaurant (thanks to Ghost's observations) for dinner, "no strings, doll, just a nice meal." You show up in a cute but classy dress to find the whole task force - including Soap and Ghost whom you've never even met before - seated and waiting on you.

They'd decided to let you know where things stood before some other idiot tried taking what was theirs.

Inspired by the "To the pain" scene at the end of The Princess Bride: "That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."

#cod #poly!141 #poly!141 x reader #tf 141 #tf 141 x reader #john price #simon riley #kyle garrick #johnny mactavish #nerdygirl says

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callsignfoxy · 8 months ago

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Blue-collar!Simon who goes to the same restaurant every day for lunch, ordering the same thing, but today he takes note of you, the new server, and you strike up a conversation.

Fem!reader POV Word Count: 1079

"___, is it? Uh, thanks for gettin' this out to me so quickly," he grunts as his eyes meet yours.

You intended to turn away to attend another table when you heard him speak and met his gaze. Oh, so he does know how to talk, you thought humorously, turning more of your attention onto him. The first time you met the large man sitting in the booth was a couple of days prior, and you had tried your best to do your waitress thing.

Flashing your bright smile that usually did well. Even commenting on the weather and trying to make conversation. He gave his order, and then all you received in response were short nods, a few grunts, and barely veiled annoyance. You backed off, assuming he just wanted to enjoy his meal alone. No harm.

Then, after yesterday, you had a sneaking suspicion that he may be the kind to order the same thing every day. After asking around, the other servers confirmed your theory. You took a risk today, and hopefully, it'd pay off. You may not want to do the waitress thing forever, but you were damn good at your job when it came to grumpy customers.

Smiling brightly, you tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear that had fallen out of your updo. "Yep, that would be me, and don't mention it. I figured that might be what you were ordering, so I thought, 'Why not?'" You chuckled. He nodded in response, and you really couldn't help yourself. "But, you know my name now; how about yours?" You inquired, trying to make small talk.

Simon leaned back into the booth, taking you in more before responding. "Simon," he stated simply, his voice like gravel. It softened slightly as he added, "Was a damn clever move, puttin' in the order early." His eyes crinkled slightly at the corners, suggesting a slight smile you couldn't see behind his black mask. "You always this attentive with your tables?"

"Ah well, when you work in the business for a while, you pick up a thing or two," you explained with a self-assured smile while pouring his tea into a mug. You took him in for a beat; his light-wash jeans were covered in concrete dust, and his white t-shirt had multiple oil stains, among others. The black mask was odd, but plenty of people wear masks out and about these days. Your eyes trailed subtly to his forearm tattoos, but you didn't linger. "You part of that crew building that new skyscraper down the way?" You asked curiously.

"Aye, that's us," he confirmed, the pride in his profession evident even through the stoic delivery. "Construction site manager for that project. It's been a right sod to keep on schedule with all the weather we've been havin'." His hand gestured vaguely to the window beside him, where the rain was still coming down in buckets.

"Should be a right monster of a building once it's done, though. Can see it from miles away," he added, a bit of admiration and pride twinkling in his eyes.

"Sounds like quite the task, being a manager of such a large project and team," you commented, raising your eyebrows. You'd held a manager position at your last serving job and even just that was a lot. You couldn't imagine the enormous undertaking of managing a whole skyscraper project.

"Like herdin' cats most of the time, but... bigger and a lot more swearing involved," he chuckled softly. When you joined him, it was like he realized he'd let the sound out and then cleared his throat. "But yeah, bloody nightmare somedays, but it's what I do," he finished.

"An' the rain?" you asked, gesturing to the window with your carafe. Simon rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated huff.

"The rain," he said glancing back out at the storm, "sure doesn't make the job any easier, but gives me an excuse to come here and get out of the wet for a bit." His eyes landed back on to you, the brown in them a little warmer than when he first came in.

You smiled, seeing that his shoulders relaxed slightly more. That alone was a job well done for you. "Well, glad to provide a little bit of respite," you said good naturedly. "I'll quit talkin' off your ear off though, and let you get back to your meal. Just call me out if you need anything. Otherwise, I'll be back with the check," You nodded with the tea carafe and turned away to attend your other tables in your section.

Simon, for his part, watched you turn, feeling your presence wane like a warmth he hadn't realized he was basking in for the moment. He tore his gaze away from you, the reality of his solitude trickling back in as he dug into the meal that had completely gone unnoticed until now.

"All done here?" You said, picking up his plate a little while later. "Just the check or would like some tea for the road?" You asked.

"Jus' the check, thanks," he said with decisiveness. It was your turn to nod as you fished the check out of your apron to place it on the table. You watched as Simon pulled his wallet out and placed the notes on top of the slip, not missing the extra he had added. he shifted out the booth and stood gazing down at you. "Thanks for the quick service, keep the change," he said in a gruff but appreciative tone.

"Just don' my job. The cook makes it real easy though. She whips up meals faster than you can blink," you joked with a chuckle. "So, Mr. Simon, same time, same meal tomorrow?" You beamed, returning his gaze.

Simon gave a short laugh. "Yeah. Same time, same meal." With that he headed towards the door, his footsteps echoing softly against the diner's linoleum floor. You watched him go, with a small smile, feeling a sense of accomplishment. Maybe there was more to Simon than just grunts and nods after all.

As you continued your work day, the interaction with Simon would pop up when your mind wasn't occupied, and you couldn't help but be curious about the masked construction worker that had graced your section. It was a curiosity that had you looking forward to tomorrow. Same time, same meal.

I'm thinking of doing more tandem POV going forward because I know that man had some thoughts. Would that be confusing? Idk, anyways, hope y'all enjoyed 😘

#cod #call of duty #simon ghost riley #mw2 #call of duty mw2 #cod simon riley #cod fanfic #ghost call of duty #ghost simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley cod #simon riley #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #cod ghost

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shadow4-1 · 1 year ago

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Man Thoughts - Ghost Edition (SFW & NSFW)

Just starting a new lil' thing where I try to get into the many thoughts of the COD boys. It helps me write but it's also just kind of fun to characterize these dudes. (MDNI! NSFW Under The Cut)

(These are thoughts Lt. would probably never voice to you, but are thinking in his head.)

-Who let you in 'ere? And why're you so bloody small?

-You're a medic? Tch, you're a lil' bird is what you are. Wouldn't last 5 minutes on the field.

-Price can't be serious about this. M' gonna be the one who has to carry your dead body to evac. Fuckin' hell.

* * * *

-You're funnier than Johnny, I'll give you that. Need t' work on your execution though. I c' hardly understand the joke if you're gigglin' all the way through the bloody delivery.

-You need t' learn to stop smilin' at men like that. Gonna attract some bad kind of attention. N' then m' gonna have to drag some poor sod off o' ya.

-This is gonna be a fun report to write for Price. M' sure he'll agree th' fucker deserved it fer layin' a hand on you like that.

-'F you walk 'n front of me one more bloody time m' gonna have t' grab a handful.

-Fockin' hell. It's a wonder you're not married with a fuckin' rack like that sittin' pretty on your chest.

-Yeah, that's non-reg soap I smell on you. Who're you tryna impress, lil' bird? Hidin' a new piece?

-Aren't thigh high socks an American thing? Either way you're a minx is what you are. Fuck. If you tempt me even a lil' I'm rippin' those straight off your legs.

-What is your obsession with breakin' dress code? I can see everything in those shorts, lil' bird. N' so can every man on base. Are y' lookin' to get dragged off n' fucked? Cause that's what's gonna happen if you don't put on some real clothes soon.

-How fuckin' forgetful are you? Here, just take m' fuckin' jacket, love. I can see your nipples peeking out through your shirt. Next time m' gonna make you flash me before I help you out again.

-Stop sayin' you stink, love. If I had m' way I'd lick you from cunt to ass right now. You smell fuckin' divine.

-So that's what your pretty little lips taste like. Wonder if the others taste the same.

-Wonder how many times I could make you come in one night. Look like a squirter, you do.

-Fuckin' brat. 'F Johnny wasn't here I'd bend you over my knee right now. Keep pushing m' buttons and see if I don't fuck you in the ass for it.

-You have no idea how bad I need you right now.

-If anyone else tries to see you like this m' a kill 'em. Only I can see your body like this. Fuck, you're perfect.

#simon ghost riley #ghost headcanons #ghost x reader #mw2 headcanons #mw3 headcanons

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iambicpentameterhamster · 10 months ago

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Every umbrella academy character ranked

Prior to Season 4 coming this year, thought I'd share my character rank with you for the first 3 seasons all together. (Spoilers ahead)

#33- Marcus, Jayme, Alphonso and Fei

Painfully insignificant and underdeveloped. Their only character traits being "spoiled and a bit evil" made them EXTREMELY captivating villians...

#32- Christopher

Only higher because I find the idea of someone carrying around a cube on a stick onset really funny.

#31- Sparrow Ben

Hard to watch honestly, especially in comparison to his lovely counterpart Umbrella Ben.

In general, the Sparrows were terrible and pointless characters, and clearly the writers knew this because most were killed off pretty quickly. All except for Sparrow Ben, which just meant we had to suffer watching him for even longer.

#30- Viktor

This is a controversial choice. He is tolerable in season 1, but then just becomes a moochy emo sod who is boring to watch. I don't know if it's the acting, script or both, but he’s just such a meek and flavourless character who is PARTICULARLY bad in season 3 when he jeopardises his whole family and is repeatedly selfish and has a victim complex.

#29- Luther

He caused the apocalypse in season one and you can't convince me otherwise. Got some alamaba shit going on with Allison...

There are so many reasons I hate Luther. He's a self-centred man child who couldn't care less about his siblings and their feelings, showing zero empathy to Klaus or Vanya, for example. He only shows respect and kindness when he is attracted to the person (As shown when seasons 1 and 2 he is only nice to Allison, then completely ignores her when he moves on to Sloane) or when they pose as an authority figure to him. All he does is whine and feel sorry for himself.

What's that? You lived in the apocalypse all alone for 40 years? You are addicted to drugs and lost the love of your life in a war? You have a power you can't control and a lifetime of rejection? WELL LUTHER WENT TO THE MOON

#28- Carl Cooper

Hated him as a character but he was a menacing villian which I can respect

#27- Harlan

Couldn't care less about him, only there for plot convenience and Victor's arc pretty much

#26- Sloane

An improvement from Luther's literal sibling. Further evidence that Luther will simply fall for any woman who gives a flying fuck about the moon.

Personality: attracted to Luther

#25- Pogo

Basil exposition of the first series

#24- Detective Patch

Barely remember her

#23- The Swedes

They were kind of goofy as villians but there was some good acting and they posed a real threat. Cute moments with the cats. In general, alright, but they could have easily been replaced plot wise with something more interesting.

#22- Cha Cha

Lack of character development for me. I think she deserved to be fleshed out more, I don't think it's fair that only her partner got to be a three-dimensional being. What are her motivations? Who is she underneath it all?

But overall i liked the acting and she was a good villian.

#21- That hotel worker from season 3

He's barely a character but I liked his sass so he's on the list.

#20- Reggie (Reginald Hargreeves)

He is supposed to be the main antagonist/villian of the show, yet The Handler stole his spotlight. He's a bit too stereotypically evil and asshole-ish for me, basically twiddling his moustache and stroking a cat in a dark corner the entire show. The delivery is too blunt and that doesn't help to build the tension and mystery surrounding him as much, but if he were more complicated and cryptic in his personality it would be more effective.

This is very nit picky and overall Reggie is fine. He has some hilarious moments with Klaus in season 3 and I am genuinely intrigued about the unanswered questions surrounding him.

#19- Elliott

He wasn't a particularly important or central character but I enjoyed it when he was on screen and he played his role convincingly. He was a good comic relief in some scenes, and when he died (spoiler alert) the reactions from other characters were realistic and quite impactful. I felt for him throughout, which is impressive for less significant characters and he had a lot of depth relative to the size of his role.

#18- Destiny's children

Not a singular character, but I LOVED Destiny's children. It fit Klaus's character perfectly to have a cult and led to some of the funnies moments in the series.

#17- Dave

From the very limited moments we see with this character, a lot of personality and emotion was communicated, and I feel like we got a big sense of the character. That is down to the brilliant acting from both of Dave's actors and from Robert Sheehan that really sold this character with so little screen time.

Anyway please come back to life Dave! Death doesn't look good on you!

#16- Agnes (Donut woman)

Very sweet and I wish her all the best in life.

#15- Sissy

BRILLIANTLY acted and impactful. Stole every scene between her and Vanya.

Also, she looks EXACTLY like Sheldon's mum in young sheldon...

#14- Herb and Dot

I want to put them both in my pocket and protect them from harm.

#13- Kenny's mum

Again, barely present but I love her. She's a queen. I would go to a rave with Kenny's Mum.

#12- Stan

I love Stan, and he's a big part of Diego and Lila's character development and motivations. I hope they adopt Stan and live happily ever after.

But yeah, great one-liners from Stan.

#11- Grace

Very well acted and haunting.

Top 10 *drumroll please*

#10- Harold Jenkins (Lenoard Peabody)

Again, quite a controversial placement, but I stand by my decision. The acting and delivery of Harold Jenkins as a villain is possibly the best in the whole show. I was totally convinced Lenoard was a nice guy and I was rooting for him and Vanya, until he started dropping hints and slowly revealing his true self and losing the facade and its... it's chefs kiss. So realistic. The actor deserves an award and a standing ovation.

The writers also deserve a pat on the back for this one because he has a convincing motivation and backstory, and the dialogue is DELICIOUS when it comes to Lenoard. He is a truly menacing villain without being overtly scary and powerful and dangerous.

#9- Ray

Charismatic, gentlemanly, empathetic, loving, trusting, supportive... Ray is THE IDEAL MAN. I'm a little bit in love with Ray so I don't blame Allison.

HUGE step up from Luther, for sure.

#8- Umbrella Ben

I would have liked to see more of his character, but I liked what I did see. He loves his siblings and shows it. He is selfless and sacrifices his own existence for Vanya, he is blunt with Klaus because he cares and wants him to improve. Of course, he and Klaus are also a hilarious duo.

#7- Hazel

One of the most touching arcs that offers an insightful message about what life is for, and about Love. Beautifully acted, a very real and lovable character who probably resonates with many in some ways. Hazel is adorable and i miss him in later seasons.

#6- The Handler

I LOVE THE HANDLER MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPLAIN!!! Funny, playful, entertaining, uexpected and whimsical and yet simultaneously dark and menacing, AMAZING villian that stole EVERY SINGLE SCENE she was in. Kate Walsh was the perfect choice for the role and she played it to perfection.

A bit of trivia about the role, The Handler was originally written for a man, and when Kate Walsh got the role she insisted they didn't change the script (which, let's be honest, they would have.) She put a wonderful spin on it and it's just perfect, I wouldn't change a thing. I would 100% watch a spinoff all about the handler. Season 3 was worse than the previous two thanks to them killing her off (amongst other questionable plot choices)

#5- Allison

Allison was the only character who knew what they were doing, and honestly, if everyone just listened to Allison, there would be no apocalypse. Her storyline losing both Claire and Ray and her powers driving her crazy with power breaks my heart but is well portrayed and impactful.

She's charismatic, clever, strong, and kind. I love Allison and I think most of us do.

#4- Diego

He's stupid but in an endearing way, I find him to be so entertaining and funny, and the actor's face is like an open book. He's not show-stopping but his consistent presence just sets the mood and allows others to act off of him, while he really sells it with his expressions. He's like the rock of the show.

#3- Lila

Lila. Mi amor. Mon amour. Amore mio. Meine Leibe.

#2- Five

For several reasons:

A) He is the daddy here, Luther!!

B) That should be the only reason you need

Seriously, though, I was SUPER impressed with Aidan Gallagher and his incredible screen presence, especially at such a young age. He really embodies the character. Five is the face of the Umbrella Acadamy, and is undoubtedly the most iconic character. 10/10, two thumbs up, absolutely BRILLIANT.

#1- Klaus

No justification necessary.

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves #five hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #allison hargreeves #lila pitts #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #raymond chestnut #the handler #the sparrow academy

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mrghostrat · 1 year ago

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OK IM ANSWERING ASKS!! open for some delightful streamer au headcanons

Anonymous asked:

ohh y'all mentioned how crowley / aziraphale would react to edits and ... oh god the chaos of a media share stream crowley would ABSOLUTELY be swarmed with simping clips, no matter how good he thinks he is at copyright striking oh and song requests after singing reveal oh ANDDD things in French that are just. vile (complementary) he would probably not do media shares for a looooooong while after that lmao

this has such chat jukebox energy oh my god. i love media streams, they're insanity, which makes them perfect for crowley.

and poor sod, when he finally thinks he's escaped the last of the simp clips, chat starts sending him seemingly "innocuous" songs to play. good old fashioned lover boy. pale blue eyes. a nightingale sang. HMMM there seems to be a theme here........

@genderlessjacky asked:

okay okay "How Long Can We Protect Aziraphale From Dying game" is amazing , love it , no criticisms at all . but what if we go the other way Aziraphale is a GOD at COD or Halo or whatnot lets just say before he became a cozy streamer , he used to play like a crapton of shooter games when he was younger or when they came out and played them for YEARS in his younger ages until he got bored and started baking and reading and stuff , discovered it was his passion and continues doing it , streams it ectect and when this happens everyone expects like "Omg he is gonna get killed in the first 5 seconds but ends up carrying the entire team to victory and everyone is like "WHAT." so confused that this innocent , plump old angelic man who cooks and reads and barates anyone who swears , got 20 kills in a row in COD?? while not swearing and barating anyone in chat who does?? is my life a lie???????? Bonus : Crowley , Anathama and Newton had no knowledge of this. at all. like he just assumed that they already knew he was really good at this and when they ask him ab it he goes like "hm? i thought you already knew?" and the others going "WELL CLEARLY NOT."

aziraphale is a man of many talents 😂 i personally can't picture him enjoying games that revolve around killing and hurting people, but i love when he can constantly surprise everyone and crowley with out of pocket talents and hobbies ehehehe

Anonymous asked:

I would like to suggest the Western Hognose as a most patient and cuddly snake to be delivered during snake delivery, they are funky little tubes with no neck and cute upturned snoots

UGH THEY'RE SO CUTE I WANNA KISS EM. i drew crowley's snake as a big black python but now i can't stop imagining him with a little guy that hides up his sleeve while he games and is small enough that people might not notice it immediately......... aziraphale's hand reaching into frame with a guy wrapped around it, and they just kind of sit there half holding hands while they wait for the snake to slither from one wrist to another.

Anonymous asked:

Your art inspires a hc…. Someone (Crowley, probably) gets Aziraphale a pair of purple round glasses and when the do streams together they match

omg aziraphale with blue light glasses that look like his little reading glasses from the show 🥺

@samsteacup asked:

So Streamer AU won't leave my mind. So I gotta share this. I understand if you don't put it into your ff, it's your story but your followers might enjoy it. :D 1. Aziraphale collaborates in Crowley's stream where they wanna play a game. (some shooter) and they set up Aziraphale character together but Aziraphale spends way too long to perfect him. Crowley is all patient and all and then when they start playing Aziraphale just can't handle the controls for the love of god. So Crowley helps him and it's a fucking disaster, he's furiously protecting Aziraphale in game while simultaneously trying to explain to him what to do. But Crowley is incredibly patient, even when they lose because Aziraphale accidentally shoots someone from their own team. The chat loses it because he usually is so short tempered in streams. Aziraphale is still a bit overwhelmed and frustrated that he completely ignores the chat. Which is good because people are shipping them to death and writing the wildest (naughtiest) theories of what already happened to make Crowley so gentle and patient. So Crowley just bans them all. 2. Another collaboration but this time on Aziraphale's channel. They are baking Christmas cookies together while talking about the holidays, gift buying, songs and other cute traditions/Christmas memories. While preparing the dough Crowley is a bit too aggressive while kneeding the wet with the dry ingredients and he gets a cloud of flour into his face. Aziraphale chuckles and cleans his face with some wash cloth. They continue baking and having a great time. Though Crowley constantly steals the leftover dough from Aziraphale, after he punches out the forms with the cutter. While waiting for the cookies to bake and cool, they start making the icing and drink wine. Crowley kinda overdoes it with the wine and gets a bit tipsy. So at some point he just dips his finger in icing and holds it to Aziraphale's face, who gets all flustered but eventually eats the icing of Crowley's finger. (Which will definitely not end up a GIF that forever haunts both of them in their streams) When they finally start icing the cookies, Crowley is not just tipsy anymore but properly drunk. So half of the Santa cookies get penises or boobs or both. And Aziraphale just rolls his eyes, says "You're being silly" (yes, exactly in that voice!) and takes away the wine from Crowley.

what the fuck im so FED

crowley switching on his patience to help aziraphale in a new situation like 😭 "i won't leave you on your own"

IT SOUNDS LIKE CROWLEY JUST STRAIGHT UP FORGETS THEY'RE LIVE and gets caught up just havin a fun time oh my lord!! 😭😭😭

@squirrellegion26 asked:

hiiiiii hi hi SIR IM ADDRESSING UR STREAMER AU. im in love with itttttt buttt what if what if what if crowley’s head pops up in one of azi’s streams like a frickin cat over the counter and chat is like “ohhh myyy goodness he’s adorable!!!” and azi’s like “oh, hello, my dear” and then crowley’s like “see ya peace” and then slinks back to whatever dark hole he slithered out of anyway SO MUCH LOVE TO UR AU I LOVE IT I CANT WAIT UNTIL UR FIC COMES OUT I LOVE U OKAY BYR

thpfht it's giving

Anonymous asked:

I just found your good omens streamer au and I'm instantly obsessed, I love the concept and ideas so much. This scenario instantly came into my head aswell and I wanted to share!! Like Crowley just did a really long stream and wants to go sleep and doesn't end up fully stopping the stream by accident, so the viewers see him after he thinks he ended stream and he just calls out "Angel, I need hugs now" and just walks off without knowing the stream is still going. And everyone in chat goes crazy trying to let anyone know the stream is still going but also with the fact they saw Crowley switch to his soft side so quickly!! And either Anathema calls Crowley to tell him it's still going and he runs back cursing to turn it off... OR...Aziraphale goes into the room to maybe collect the mug of coffee he made for Crowley and finds the stream still going and the chat going MAD over it trying to get his attention but also freaking out that it's Aziraphale.

oh lord have mercy on m for all this second hand anxiety but

you GOT ME with the mask switching from streamer mode to soft tired angel hugs mode, i'm punching myself in the face

i imagine that footage of aziraphale walking onto crowley's room for mug collection is like cryptid footage that occasionally circulates the gossip subreddits even after crowley has deleted the vod

Anonymous asked:

i literally just found your streamer AU and i have read EVERY MORSEL YOU HAVE ABOUT IT. i am so excited to read the fic when you’re finished with it! all i can think about is Aziraphale sliding things under Crowleys door if its locked while he’s streaming. and its the most random things every time, and of course it gets turned into a compilation posted somewhere. i just think that idea is silly. AGAIN I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS AND EVERYTHING YOU SHARE ABOUT IT!! 💕

hthfph THANK YOU FOR SHARING HEADCANONS i mean it, it's so fun and silly and i love that everyone is getting into this together ✨

#ineffable streamers #ask a rat

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cauldron-of-oddities · 6 months ago

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"okay ummmm ideas

I have some angst

what if you have Jinx stalking Ekko and he thinks it's like because Silco told her to but it's because she killed one of his friends and feels guilty about it and, even if she can't admit it to herself, wants to make sure he's okay"

How dare you make me cry while writing 😭 @letters-to-rosie

So, angst practice it was.

The Way of Things

It was the way of things - death. You got in the way of a bullet, a bomb, a spear, a bat, a knife, you'd be gone just like that. And it struck one of Ekko's.

The bomb went off right by the ally, the shockwave larger than expected or exactly as made. It was meant to do damage. It knocks some poor sod into a wall.

The blast rings in her ears, success! And then the crack of bone and a dull thud. A ragdoll falling to the floor and the shadow of deep red.

“It's the way of things. It's the way of things.” Silco's voice is cool and calming in her head.

At least it seemed quick.

Shouts fill the air, some sound torn, others growling. The firelights scatter in the wake. Green lights vanish into the dark streets between the ramshackle houses. To regroup likely, to buzz around again. It's the way of things.

The delivery and the crates of shimmer trades from calloused scarred hands to sickly sticky hands. (She can't say Silco's associates are pleasant.) It's the way of things.

The office is dimly lit, a swirl of smoke from a recently snuffed cigar curling in the air. “Well done.” It sounds deep, pleased, and praising. Silco affirms her, and it should sooth her. She did good, right? So why does it feel wrong?

Out again in the hallway, the image of fading glow on the tip of the cigar changes to the retreating lights of the Firelights, and then she's there again. One shout echoed in her mind. A cracking “No!” The image of an owl masks and a bilowing green coat swooping down a hair's breadth too late and the smell of gunpowder in her nose.

That's not the way of things. He and his have always somehow gotten away.

She bites her lip, a pit forming in her stomach. The hallway seems too empty, the wrong place to be. Boy Saviour hadn't been in the right place either. She tastes metal on her tongue and sees the red stain again. She rocks from her heels to her toes and back agitation and guilt eating her and finally lets the thought through: Is Ekko alright?

It won't help to stay here, so she makes her way back. To the roof above the croner of the alley and the eerie quiet street. Weren't there old legends about crossroads being the place of ghosts? She shudders and hears a sob.

From above, hidden in the shadows, she sees him. His shoulders are slumped, a broken hoverboard on his lap, his own at his back. She moves a bit closer. There's just enough light to reflect off a tear, to see gloved hands clench around crushed metal and the scorch on the ground.

Stupid Boy Saviour, doesn't he realise he's a sitting duck out here? Silently, she keeps vigil over him. Until his tears dry up, and he stills entirely.

This is not the way of things. Ekko is bright, not hunched, withdrawn, and resigned. She wants to go to him, she can't go to him. Who would want the comfort of the monster that did this?

Her own eyes sting, and she fails to swallow the sob that escapes her. She slips down to the alley and hunches down between abandoned crates, closer but hidden.

It's the way of things: That she stays in the shadows. She wants to say something, but her voice is stuck in her throat. What would she say anyway. Another small sob escapes her. She's cursed, damned to hurt. A small move and a board by the crates clatters to the ground, and Ekko's looking right at her.

He is standing, tense, and snarling.

“Did Silco send you?” He spits. “To be done with the pesky firelights? Because we won't stop. You can't keep hurting people like this!”

Jinx is frozen, and no words come. Yet something warm blooms in her. There's his fire. It's comforting to witness after his stillness. He's the one light she can't snuff, wants to keep alive, now and in her memory.

“Well?” He snaps at her. What can she say? His gaze has her trapped, she licks and bites her lip, and the cut cracks open again.

“Just go, be safe.” A hoarse whisper leaves her. She means: Stay away from Silco, stay away from me, please don't put yourself on my path again.

“You know I can't do that.” Ekko says shaking his head, she doesn't reply. He looks at her again, tilts his head, and takes a step closer. His hand stretches out to her, and she steps back further into the shadows and looks away.

Eventually, she hears a huff and whizz of a hoverboard. Jinx wants to follow the fading light, moving further and further away from her so very desperately.

He's gone. It's for the best, it's the way of things.

She moves dazed to his spot, hoping something of him lingers. Her arms wrap around herself, nails digging into the bare flesh of her upper arms, desperate for anything to ground herself, needing to hold something. All she has is the ghost of him.

It's lonely here, too dark, too quiet. It wasn't a good place to die. It wasn't a good place to grieve.

The empty metal and brick wall of the alley beacons. She'll remember this death and she'll give the one apology she could. For Ekko. Digging in her pockets for her crayons. Before long, she covers the wall in bright green firelights. They're pretty, she thinks, guiding lights for the departed.

“Be free.” She scrawls amongst the glowing wings, isn't that, after all, what they all wanted?

It’s the way of things.

#timebomb #ekko x jinx #angst #working through writers block

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ctsodmilford · 7 months ago

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7,500 square foot sod installation in CT

learn more:

#ct sod #SOD for sale #SOD near me #SOD farm #SOD delivery #SOD supplier #SOD company #SOD installation #where to buy SOD #SOD pallet

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bethanythebogwitch · 8 months ago

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Welcome, new tenant to Sunnyside Acres! We’re so glad that you’ve chosen our charming neighborhood and community to be your new home. Now that you’ve signed the HOA contract and moved in, this pamphlet will give you some advice on how to make the most of your time with us. We at Sunnyside Acres accept no legal responsibility for the consequences should you fail to follow this advice.

-Curfew lasts from midnight to 6 AM. Anyone staying outside during this time does so at their own risk. Do not answer the door during this time, no matter how loudly they scream

-Familiarize yourself with the other residents of Sunnyside Acres. If someone you do not recognize claims to be a resident, politely refuse any offers to visit their home

-The HOA will never request payment in the form of blood, memories, cerebrospinal fluid, offspring, or love. Should you receive a fee requesting one of these things, simply mark it “return to sender” and place it back in your mailbox. Do not sign the fee slip.

-If you hear singing coming from outside, do not look outside until it stops, even if you recognize the voices. Especially if you recognize the voices.

-Watch any delivery people through the peephole for at least a minute before opening it. If they do not blink, do not accept the delivery. Ignore them knocking.

-If you love your pets, do not leave them outside unattended

-Meals at official potlucks must be labeled with common allergens and human body parts.

-Lawns must be weeded and mowed regularly and any burned sigils found must be dug up and replaced with fresh sod as soon as possible

-The tap water may appear discolored or have a metallic taste. We assure you it is perfectly safe to drink

-Sewer maintenance and plumbing is done only through approved HOA contractors. Do not hire outside agencies or persons for this purpose. Their voices can still be heard on rainy days

-A bonfire celebration is held every year on the summer solstice. Attendance is mandatory. There will be a period of 20 minutes where everyone must look away from the fire. Do not look back, no matter what you hear.

-All stories of the ruddy man are just slanderous rumors. Please do not talk about the ruddy man. There is no ruddy man

-Keep your bedroom curtains drawn at night. Don’t let the lights in

-You are advised not to park in the street overnight. If you do, the next time you drive there will be an additional passenger in your back seat. Do not look in the back seat until you arrive at your destination. Do not let it tempt you

-You may find a door in your basement that was not there before. If you enter, you will return unharmed, but the experiences on the other side will forever change you in ways you may not expect. Think very carefully before entering. You will never get this chance again.

Remember, tenant, we’re glad to have you here. Following these simple rules ensures that everyone living here in Sunnyside Acres can have a safe and fulfilling life. Welcome to your new home.

#and yet the scariest part of this is the hoa #write this on a whim #unreality #horror #creepy #writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #creative writing #suburban gothic #suburban horror

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lemmetreatya · 2 years ago

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I loved the headcanons for eren, Jean, and Connie as hotel security guards ❤️❤️ Now picture, Bellhop Reiner (who may or may not have ✨️stopped by✨️ your room a few times for deliveries 👀)

THANK YOU MY SWEETS!! but ouuuhh this sounds good i likeeeee this one!

content: fem!reader, smut, pen!sex, vaginal sex, masturbation, fem!top, squint for dom!fem reader i suppose

bellhop!reiner who watches you saunter into the hotel lobby with your stilettos hooked between your two fingers and the left strap of your dress sagging off your shoulder. you eye him, as you pass through, with a honey-like “good evening, mister” falling from your lips and straight at him. bellhop!reiner gulps as he nods back in turn, but he doesn’t dare say anything in case his voice betrays him.

“penelope suite.” you say to his colleague tending the reception. “just one key — it’s only me.”

but it might as well have meant nothing as bellhop!reiner notes that you keep watch of him the whole time, your attention stuck on the way his uniform beautifully sculpted his herculean physique and how his groomed facial hair suited his face.

you stride up the antebellum staircase with ease, room key jingling and hips swaying. bellhop!reiner knows he should look away, knows he shouldn’t be curious — because curiosity killed the cat and every one of its nine lives — but it’s when hes informed that penelope suite needs attending to, a suspicious query that suspiciously needs to be queried to, he thinks that maybe god will allow him a tenth life.

bellhop!reiner knows where your suite is — like the back of his hand, he’s there in a jiffy. when he bells your door and gains an instantaneous reply, he knows he isn’t going to regret his choice.

“oh, what quick service tonight~” you coo, but bellhop!reiner doesnt care. the man cups your cheeks from underneath your jaw before landing a gentle yet feverent kiss on your lipstick smudged lips.

god, bellhop!reiner doesnt even care for the repercussions of this action; sod this job if it comes to that! but he knows he wont have to file any reports or see to any head manager for misconduct because its you who wants this more.

he leads you to the egyptian linen that lines your designated bedding for the night, hastily laying you down onto the magnolia material, but it doesn’t stay that way for long.

in the end, you end up riding bellhop!reiner like the mad woman you were, audacious yet graceful. even more wicked as you commanded he keep his uniform on bar for his hat — that, you wanted off so that you could tug at the blonde strands and hug his face to your valley breast.

your moans were rude as they voiced every obscenity you could think of. bellhop!reiner’s were worse as he noisily grunts into your chest, his sturdy hips bucking upwards to meet yours.

bellhop!reiner slips himself out of you as he quickly comes into the fist of his hands, using his palm to jerk himself to completion.

you bid bellhop!reiner farewell from penelope suite once hes cleaned up and fit for duty again. he lingers by the door, unsure of where it left the two of you, but you easily clear up that he was great fun.

bellhop!reiner accepts it, because he’s taken liberties as is already, but he doesn’t leave without placing a gentleman’s kiss to your cheek.

as if nothings happened, bellhop!reiner is back on duty in his usual spot by the door. he thinks of you all shift. of course he thinks of you, but he figures that what you both shared was magical because of its fleeting nature.

that was until around three hours later, bellhop!reiner’s being told that penelope suite once again is in request of assistance.

maybe, bellhop!reiner thinks, god had a few cat lives to spare on him tonight.

#reiner braun #reiner aot #reiner headcanons #reiner x black reader #reiner x reader

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heyidkyay · 1 year ago

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Oh my god now you’ve got the image of G and Birdie with a little baby girl into my head… you can’t not write it now! I’d love to see maybe them introducing their baby girl to the rest of the band… or anything else you can come up with 🤣

I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name | The aftermath

A little snippet:)

My due date was March 23rd. Which meant that George would be getting quite the birthday present (if the baby had perfect timing) and that they’d most definitely be an Aries, which were two things I couldn’t quite get behind, but something G was ecstatic over.

Matty had been hoping the little one would arrive a little late, two weeks late to be precise, just so that he could get one over on George and have the baby share something in common with him instead. He really had been an absolute sweetheart throughout the entire pregnancy, but my God was he pushing it trying to get me to extend the absolute hell I’d endured.

I’d gone through almost every symptom pregnancy had to offer, from day one I’d felt absolutely vile and then when my second trimester had rolled round I’d had to deal with Braxton Hicks, an undeniable appetite (I’d felt like an actual monster), and dizziness that rivalled anything I’d ever felt before. Including the time when I’d been hit by a fucking car.

Still, all of Matty’s efforts appeared in vain now seeing as though I went into labour on February 13th, five whole weeks before I was even due.

To say I’d shit myself would have been an absolute understatement. I was fucking terrified to give birth, let alone that early, and to make matters worse, George had been set to play a show, which meant that he’d had no idea my water had broken until I was high as a kite on fucking gas and air, and he was finally off stage. But thankfully, I’d also been at work and Delia had been the one to walk me through the whole process, we’d headed straight to hospital, due to the fact that I should not have been going into labour this prematurely, but also because she was afraid I was going to give myself a sodding aneurysm simply down to the amount I was panicking.

But who could blame me?

Anywho, the whole thing seemed a bit small in comparison to when I finally did give birth. We’d been blessed with a tiny, little baby girl- 7 lbs 4 ounces and with a head of thick unruly hair. But before George and I could even get a look in the doctor had told me to start pushing- again.

“They’re coming along quite quickly now, just a few more deep breaths.”

“You what?” I ask the man in scrubs settled between my legs. Baffled wasn’t even a word I’d begin to use to describe the emotions that hit me right then, having thought I’d heard him wrong until I saw the alarming look on George’s face.

“We need you to push, you can already see baby’s head.” A midwife informs me, ushering George to once again take my hand, to comfort me. He does but he’s caught in a daze.

“But, but I just did that bit.” I say, mostly stunned, delirious almost for a moment.

“I know, and you did wonderfully. But baby two isn’t too far behind.” She replies, smiling down at me sincerely even as her attention diverts between a handful of other people stood in the delivery room.

Her words seem to startle G back into reality, “Baby two? As in twins?”

“Twins! What the hell do you mean, twins?” I feel dizzy once more, head darting between the nurse beside me, G, and the doctor who’s seen a little too much of my insides for my liking. I think I start mumbling then, rambling off a ton of questions, a mile a minute, to anyone and everyone who will listen. Twins. “Are you sure? Twins?”

The nurse laughs, not unkindly, then nods, “Definitely sure, even saw it for myself.”

I’m still not really pushing, too confused, too stunned to really do much, in truth. “Are you having me on? Is this a prank?”

She appears to realise G and I aren’t messing about here and I watch on, frozen, as her whole demeanour shifts before my eyes, “Yes, sweetheart, twins. You really didn’t know?”

I shake my head and am just beyond grateful that George is here with me, holding my hand so tightly that I can truly feel it start to numb- because, what?

Things seem to take a turn then, the entire atmosphere in the room drops when beeping starts up and lights start flashing worryingly. The doctor at the other end of my bed is coaching me through it again, his voice high and harried almost, and I know then that something’s wrong and that it’s all my fault.

“What’s going on?” I ask, eyes immediately snapping over towards the nurse standing beside me but she’s gone, fiddling with the oxygen machine behind my head and then the heart monitor. “G, what- what’s happening? Are they okay? The baby. Are they?”

“You need to push. The baby is losing oxygen, we need to get them out as quickly as possible.”

My heart plummets. I start to panic. It’s my fault. My fault. I’m doing it wrong. I’m to blame. It’s all my fault. I’m messing up and they’re not even really here yet. I’m doing it all wrong.

“We need you to push harder.”

“Breathe.”

“Come on, mum. We need you to really push now.”

“That’s it.”

“Birdie, it’s alright. You’re okay, love. The baby is okay. You just need to push a bit more. Just a little longer, okay?”

I feel my head move- nod?- but the room is spinning, I reckon I’m screaming too. Sobbing, even. My mind so focused on the baby I hadn’t even known I’d been housing, let alone created. My baby.

Two babies! Two.

I let out a loud groan. Barely even aware of the careful fingers on my temple.

“Good girl, B.” George whispers to me, lips pressed against my cheek as he brushes hair from out of my face. “You’re doing so well. So good.”

I cry harder, I push harder.

Time seems to have stilled in its entirety, the minutes won’t move, the seconds don’t count. I am lost in this moment, my mind screaming at me to just try harder.

“And it’s a boy!” I finally hear and then I’m weeping again, crying and clinging to George before he too is dragged away from me by nurses to cut the umbilical cords. I stare up at the ceiling, unable to do much else, chest heaving, thick tears streaming down my cheeks, and all I hear is an overwhelming buzz. The kind I’d grown so used to, starting in my left ear before it soon echos in my right. Jumping, back and forth.

“A boy, Birdie. A boy and a girl.”

I blink and George is there again, hovering over me. He takes my face in his careful hands and holds me so close that we are nose to nose. I realise then he’s crying too.

“Twins.” I whisper breathlessly, every inch of me burns, but I itch to get up, to move and see them.

“Twins.” George repeats with just as much disbelief. “Twins, B. Ours.”

A baby boy, he’d told me. A tiny thing, so full of surprises. He was born smaller than his sister, an even 6 lbs and only ten minutes behind, but his eyes are unlike anything I’ve ever seen, huge and so very innocent, placed between a scattering constellation of tawny freckles that dot his cheeks and kiss his lids.

A girl and a boy. All ours.

I’d been taken with them both the moment I’d set my sights on them, ‘the twins' people had dubbed them. ‘Let’s go see the twins!’ ‘The twins are finally crawling!’ ‘Somebody grab a camera, the twins are being cute again!’

Never did I ever believe I’d have a family of my own, let alone a husband or these two beautiful beings that always seemed to stare back up at me with an incredible amount of innocence. It stirs something deep within me each time they do, both the thought and the very sight of them, and when their tiny little hands wrap their way around my fingers I know that I’ll never feel this type of love again. I don’t think I could even begin to describe it.

They are beautiful and they are ours, and I know from the very bottom of my heart that I will protect them until the day that I die. Because, how could I not?

How could anyone not?

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