#SHE THINKS ITS WEIRD I THINK SPOCK IS CUTE. NOT EVEN LIKE. TOS SPOCK (who is hot as fuck btw). AOS SPOCK?!? LIKE WHAT?!?!

[sesquipadalian-in-a-jar]

you know that middle range of fictional crushes where theyre too weird to talk about with your friends who have normal tastes. But too normal to be interesting talk about on tumblr. It annoys me. PLEASE.

[brw]

001 - Star Trek TOS

Favorite character

BONES he's everything to me actually. he's infested my mind like a virus he's SO funny he wants so badly to go apeshit but unfortunately he's in a polycule of fucking idiots and has to drug them both to get the chance to be a dumbass for ONCE. he's an idiot but he has to plan out his idiocy to make sure his two idiots don't get themselves killed while he's gone. zero business being that funny.

Least Favorite character

kirk when i come to the horrifying realisation that he is in fact the mouthpiece for the 60s white men that are writing him and is in fact played by william shatner aka episodes like miri and that one where he's a native american god bc what the fuck... i'll be watching having a good time and then oh fuck. thats shatner's face NOOOOO aside from that the random side characters that replace uhura or sulu or chekov when theyre not available who are you fucking imposters!!!

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon)

i barely have a singular ship the entire ship is well. a ship. theyre all dating each other the entire ship is polyamorous. my fave dynamics so far tho r; bones & spock obviously they r so funny. scotty & kirk i dont think any other combo on the enterprise is more enabling of each others specific brand of bullshit. uhura & everyone she is their BABYGIRL she is the most important person on that ship n everyone loves her as they should. the second favourite babygirl after the enterprise itself. scotty is the third fave btww. pavel & chekov they are like. daforge before there was daforge n kirk n that one klingon captain in the tribbles ep. why were they like that.

Character I find most attractive

bones. no i wont explain nor will i apologise. i'd fuck that old man.

Character I would marry

spock i would be great at being his girl husband. down to join the polycule also autistic i am logical for a human being and i like tea and big animals. not big on public intimacy and i dont make dumb jokes.

Character I would be best friends with

uhura or scotty. cannot elaborate but we would vibe.

a random thought

i dont think any TOS ship is fun monogamous. they need to be a horrificially large polycule or whats the point. they are the seattle polycule clickhole warned us about.

An unpopular opinion

kirk wasnt that feminist like yes for the time but he still very much so was a man written in the 60s by other men and idk i feel like painting him as 100% feminist w/ that one "a crewman" gif is disingenious. like definitely what abrhams did was a crime to make him even weirded! but idk people always want to focus on the best and its like grabbing so many women by the shoulders like that so often makes me very uncomfortable watching dhdfhfvhvf

My Canon OTP

aside from spirk which we all know is theres not an awful lot of big canon ships bc?? the writers r too misogynist i guess. i guess sarek n amanda they had no business being so cute. spock n that one woman in the sex pollen ep was honestly cute to me also. man just wants to do drugs and climb trees n she let him!

My Non-canon OTP

ah shit i dunno. again i really like what bones n spock going on they are so hilarious every time they interact onscreen. i liked the dynamic between uhura & scotty in the mirror mirror ep n obviously that one uhura & christine gifset... LADIES.

Most Badass Character

bones for him telling khan exactly where to cut his throat while the knife was to his neck. top 10 moments in cinematic history actually. uhura again when she did THAT to mirror sulu she's so fucking perfect she deserves the world i LOVE LOVE LOVE her.

Most Epic Villain

shatner's lack of acting skills.

Pairing I am not a fan of

tbh none. they all r either great or had massive potential or were just plain funny.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another)

every woman. especially the non reoccuring ones. what was going on with a private little war.

Favourite Friendship

uhura & chekov... jim & bones..... sulu & chevok...... christine & bones.... they r all so good tbh.

Character I most identify with

scotty or spock. i have autism spectrum disorder.

Character I wish I could be

i hate the idea of living in space so none

ask game for fandoms, ships & characters.

[gar-trek]

no i care about ur tng s1 opinions !!

Well anon since you asked..... (imagine we are hiking together, lol :)

Alright... season one of TNG... well... it wasn’t great. In fact, if it was not a Star Trek show, I’m not sure I would have gotten through it at all. Now I'm not saying that I hated it, in fact there was plenty that i did actually like. But overall it just kinda boring and it was hard to really get into it. Sometimes mediocracy is a worse then just being flat out bad, ya know? To keep things comprehensive, since half of this was written in an RV and the other half is written whilst im on 3 hours of sleep, lets put my review into a nice list of things i did not like, and things i did about season one of TNG

The bad:

-I have talked about this before, but I think my main issue with TNG so far is the extremely awkward vibe it has. Shots linger way too long after characters are done talking. the jokes do not hit most the time. the dialogue is often stilted and awkward. The characters just do not feel real to me at all. It's just very very strange. I don't know if its a problem with the writing, the directing or the producing, or maybe just all three, but overall shit is just awkward all the time. I wish the charecters felt more real. Like yeah, maybe we didn't see much of Sulu in TOS, but they still managed to make him a guy you could imagine yourself meeting at a bar or whatever. what am i gonna go have some drinks with fuckin season 1 William Riker?? Nah, wtf is that bitches motivations and aspirations ?? that he wants to be captain and has blue eyes ?? what i am trying to say is that nothing feels real and no smart ass not because its a fictional sci-fi show, but because the characters all act super weird or literally just do nothing.

-Picard. I’m kind of turning the corner here but like... he just doesn’t do it for me as captain. I feel like since he’s the captain that makes him the “””””main character”””” and yet... what does Picard do? He’s just kinda boring. Like the man doesn’t even always bean down to the planet or whatever. And you guys already know my thoughts on his relationship with Wes... yeah :/ so no, I don’t hate Picard, I just kinda hate that he’s the captain.

-Where is the action ? Am I an old white male boomer for wishing TNG had a little more tits out violence like TOS did. I mean where is the punching? Where is the redshirt deaths and photon torpedos and shit. I need more violence, and I know that’s like, opposite of the message of Star Trek but dammit... more violence!

-Every single thing that happened to Tasha Yar in Skin of evil. I know you know :/ we all know. :/ and mini rant but in the beginning of that episode Worf and Tasha had a cute little moment and I actually thought “wow they would make a good couple actually or at least best buds” but.. well you know :/ too bad. Also I feel like they spent a lot of time trying to set up Tashas backstory and she actually had something interesting going on so like.... again too bad I guess :/

*cough cough*

anyway, here is what i did like:

-despite their awkwardness i do think some of the characters are neat. Geordi has to be my favorite, he just brings such a good vibe to the crew and I think the whole concept of his character is really interesting. I like Worf but I still feel like we don’t get enough Worf time and of course I like Data, tbh I never disliked him but he definitely grew on me more as I watched. Data does have the tendency to make me cringe... but like in the way your weird lovable friends do. And of course Wes, who deserves so much better then all the dumb ass situations they write for him.

-I think they do a good job of making it feel like the Star Trek universe without just copying everything they did in TOS. like its super different from TOS in a lot of ways, but still it feels like the same universe, and maybe even a little more true to the universe. like the prime directive thing is taken a lot more seriously, same with the federation not wanting to resort to violence right away, all that star trek jazz. its still there, its still trek.

-they don't do a bunch of annoying pandering. i feel like nowadays when they come out with remakes or spin-offs or whatever they always have to have a million callbacks like "hey remember this thing you loved?? here it is again exactly the same" because like yeah that is easy and it more fail-proof. like they could have just stuck a vulcan in the main cast, don't tell me you wouldn't have gotten Spock brain and just ate that shit up, but they were like nah and tried new stuff instead. and i respect that. because the callback episode they did do (naked now) kinda fuckin sucked. so good for them for trying to forge their own path.

okay anyway those are my general thoughts. More specifically, here are the epsidoes i think were the very worst

- Encounter at Fairpoint (literally the first episode and i kept checking my watch wondering when it would be over. it should not have been a 2 parter that was way too long. Q was annoying as hell. the main plot was not that interesting. )

- Where No One Has Gone Before (very tedious and hard to sit through. "oh we traveled too far into space.... oh we did it again! haha lol!" boring. did not like that Traveler guy sus as hell.... hated that Picard only made Wes and Ensign after the Traveler said Wes was important.)

-Skin of Evil (dumb stupid dumb)

-The Nuteral Zone ( i dont even want to get into this. i actually think this one stunk the worst and it was the last episode. so many things wrong)

annnnddd the episodes i liked!

- The Last Outpost (Ferengi Ferengi Ferengi Ferengi )

-Haven (how can you not love Lwaxana Troi this episode made me genuinely laugh so many times. lots of very good character moments here)

-Angle One (i really liked the concept of male wife girl boss society i thought it was funny and interesting)

-Conspiracy (i felt like this one actually kept me on my toes. also liked when that dude's head exploded)

annndddd that about sums it up people! was that a comprehensible review? no. was it long? yes. feel free to disagree with me or fight it out in the comments. what are your least favorite episodes from season one? do you agree with my takes here? let me know

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 22: 1x07 What Are Little Girls Made Of?

Today was an inexplicably good day?? Weird. Even before the watching TOS part.

My mom immediately pointed out that Christine had her hair done. Well of course! It’s seeing the fiance day!

I can’t believe she hasn’t seen Roger in 5 years.

Perhaps why she feels comfortable drunk-confessing her love for an alien lol.

Another story of a person exploring an abandoned planet and playing around with the stuff he finds there. I gotta say truly and unironically this never gets old for me.

Also another story of Kirk meeting one of his heroes. The boy likes to read, and then imagine meeting the authors.

I always get so excited just to be watching Star Trek that I miss half the exposition at the beginning of each ep.

Mmmm, underground ruins built by past inhabitants.

HavE YOU evER BeEn enGAGEd mr SPOCK?

He’s married right now.

Love how both Jim and Christine are like “I must know, I must know the answer to this.”

Christine so sure that it’s Roger BUT IT’S NOT ROGER like???? This relationship isn’t gonna work.

The cute Christine and Uhura moment in the background (is it gay?? it isn’t on its face but that lip touching moment sure is!) and Spock in the Captain’s chair.

The long shot looks like a realistic ice planet and the close up looks like boxes covered in soft white blankets.

“Beam down..............hmmmm................two security men.”

Look at all those penises.

Oh Kirk, every time a crewman dies, that’s all he cares or thinks about.

Christine is displeased to meet Android Andrea.

Kirk’s face when Roger and Christine kiss is hilarious to me?? Like he kinda makes a kissing motion? So jealous.

Kirk’s tiny little phaser is so bizarre.

Oh no! They’re....androids!! Dun dun dun.

Spock recognizes that it’s not Kirk’s voice talking to him right away like who is the REAL engaged couple here hmmm??

Smart Kirk move #1: adding “or disobey orders from her” to Ruk’s programming.

The idea of this android just tending machinery for hundreds of years is so sad.

This is my kind of action sequence: very obviously choreographed.

“How can you love him if you don’t trust him?” A very perceptive android.

Love the shocked music at the reveal Andrea is an android as if this weren’t the MOST obvious thing from the start.

She has skin and a pulse? “How convenient.”

When Christine asks “Did you [love the machine]?” she definitely means “Did you have sex with the machine?” Otherwise she would have phrased it as “Do you?” as in a continuous action, versus, a past event.

Wish Spock were here to comment on the perfectly logical machines.

Love the green pre-android lol.

So do the androids have to be fashioned after real people and if so, who is Andrea?

Smart Kirk move #2: Programming obviously false sentiments into his brain at the right moment, so Spock will know there’s something wrong.

“I am now programmed to please you also” sounds so ominous. Ominous and a big ol’ admission she and Roger fucked.

Bringing in Android Kirk to prove his believability to Chapel is honestly, watching it now, such a betrayal. Like, sending in someone she trusts to talk to her, knowing she’ll be honest and open with him, and then telling her it’s just a trick or a test? I was never so bothered by it before but watching it now, wow, Roger is AWFUL.

Stop everything it’s SAM KIRK TIME. I love Sam. Find it weird that no one else calls him Sam if George is Kirk Sr.’s name b/c my experience with kids who share family names is everyone in the family/family’s orbit picks up the nickname/middle name/whatever.

Where did his other two sons go?

Did he ever make it to Earth Colony 2?

Sorry just picturing Sam and his family seeing Kirk off and getting EMO.

Roger describing the usefulness of androids reminds me of, mmm, Dollhouse. Altered Carbon. T100.

Either Korby just generally lost his mind or something was corrupted when he became an android.

Oh Kirk. What does he love in humans? Love, tenderness, sentiment. A ROMANTIC NERD.

Mom contends, and I agree that Ruk is very stylishly dressed. I suppose he must look like the Old Ones? I never thought about it, but based on how the androids are made, they must have been physically indistinguishable from the Old Ones.

Kirk is armed now, with a giant pink phallus.

Spock sees the Captain walk right past him, without saying hi, and he is IMMEDIATELY suspicious. Just walks right away from what he was doing like lol whatever.

Now Spock knows for sure... the real Captain wouldn’t be so cavalier with official papers and he definitely wouldn’t use racial slurs!!

Kirk the honeypot. What I say every time he uses his sexuality for a purpose (not the same as being a womanizer btw!!!).

Oh Andrea DEFINITELY had sex with Roger. “I’m not programmed for you!”

Spock would disagree that saving the Captain is illogical.

“They turned us off!” I know there are other stories that go into this type of narrative more (Blade Runner) but... I still want to know more about these particular androids and aliens.

“Survival must cancel out programming.”

These androids, not counting Ruk, are like honestly not very smart at all. Kirk is very much distinguishable from real Kirk. (Just brushing off a weird attempted kiss with “it is illogical.”) Andrea is very easily confused. Doesn’t know who she’s killing, doesn’t know what she’s about.

Spock got the message!

“Your flawless beings killing one another.”

Korby is honestly a lot more interesting than I remembered. I remembered the part about him being an android, and pretty quickly the part about him actually transferring his consciousness, but... he’s so different from the Korby Kirk read about and Christine knew. Would that have happened anyway, just from his experiences? Or was it becoming an android that did it? I think there’s some evidence for the latter, like how he tries to prove his humanity and can only think of actions a machine would take. Plus all the emphasis all the way through on them being “just machines.” And it must be said, we don’t know how different Ruk is from the Old Ones, intellectually or personality wise, but we know that Kirk is a poor substitute, so it doesn’t seem likely Roger was actually all that good at his experiments yet. Doesn’t seem plausible he transferred himself correctly.

“Everything you’ve done has proved it isn’t you.”

I wonder why Ruk was the only android left? Did the others break down? Are there rusted android carcasses hanging out somewhere? Or like... rotting android bodies?

And THEN the little last minute twist with Andrea--DID she have feelings? Was she becoming human in some way?

Look Christine, your other boyfriend Spock is here!

Spock’s expression at the end totally kills me. “Ugh, fine, I GUESS I understand you were in a really WEIRD situation what with being turned into an ANDROID and all.”

I feel bad for him that he had to hear Kirk say such awful things to him. But that was the point! It had to be something the real Kirk would NEVER say!

This was a really good Kirk ep, and I definitely saw nuances in the android story that I didn’t see before/didn’t remember. Like Mudd’s Women, it put a lot of its most interesting stuff really fast into a few scenes, mostly at the end, but still overall a really solid episode.

And I’m still ASCENDING over the “Have you ever been engaged, Mr. Spock?” I can’t help it, I am a simple being.

[starfleetorbust]

Heyhey for the character thing can you do Bones for me? Thanks lovely! ❤❤❤

How I feel about this characterSlowly falling? Like very slowly, but definitely… headed there. McCoy is smart and clever and he knows his job. He’s caring and compassionate about his crew. AndheisprettybutIdidn'tsaythat But I don’t know much about him outside work other than headcanons. I admit I love him being a southern guy and the idea that he has an accent even if he doesn’t. I like that he’d have that manner and charm part of him ingrained, and that’s how I write him. I like McCoy. ^-^ 7/10 because arbitrary numbers are nice

All the people I ship romantically with this characterOh gosh. Not many, honestly. He holds his heart in a locked box and shares is sparingly.Okay. Spock, definitely. Spones is adorable and I’ve actually been looking for a good prompt to write about them. I want to showcase the banter though, and its hard to find the right topic of debate. I used to write them a lot. I think you’d love my take xDJim. But… Jim is weird. I ONLY ship McKirk at the Academy, which is the place I think is the least likely for them to HAVE a relationship. I don’t see them together on the ship or after. I still haven’t decided WHAT happened between the Academy and the Enterprise if I see them together and then not, but somehow I think it had to be more than “we’re working so it won’t work” but not so extreme as “you cheated and this can’t be fixed”. I THINK it has something to do with Spock. I’ll keep you updated on that front. I want that headcanon set in stone before sharing it.I also think McCoy and his wife were probably really cute together? We never se them but I still ship it. They clearly had a kid in TOS (well… TAS?) and again, something must have gone wrong, but I don’t see it as a BAD relationship.Unpopular one, but I ship mirror Spock and Bones… just because I can. >->

My non-romantic OTP for this characterChapel. I’m sorry, but no, I just can’t see it. First off, she’s actually interested in Spock and I don’t think that Bones would interfere, but even if he did or she wasn’t, they work together on the ship as colleagues and that’s where I think their relationship is best.Scotty I also can’t see romantically. Friends? Yes. Drinking buddies? Sure. But totally can’t see romance there.

My unpopular opinion about this character…well I know it’s unpopular to say I’m scared of him. Like actually would be terrified to meet and wouldn’t trust him AT ALL if I had to. Like, he’d do his job, and I know that rationally, but I think I’d refuse any treatment from him if I got the choice. Ask for another doctor. Sorry.Um… canonly? I’m not sure. Can I come back to this xD

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.This is hard D: I think I likewhat we do see of him, and I don’t exactly want to change itWell…. I wish he met the EMH. I don’t know the timelines well enough but… TNG and DS9 and VOY are… around the same time and he is in TNG… so it cculd be possible?I’d like to see McCoy risk his life for someone he doesn’t know. I know there’s one where he does… the Empath or something? Where he tries to give himself for Jim and Spock? But those are his friends. Close friends. I want to see him and OTHER crewman that he’s never had to work with. Or someone we don’t even know on some planet. Because that’s who he is and he values ANYONE over himself, not just “the bridge crew” like it sometimes seems. Maybe that already happens but I don’t think it does.

@kaitymccoy123

@speedsterspock (whoops, saw your ask a moment after posting this xD)