#SHE MAY HAVE A 5 HEAD BUT SHES VERY PRETTY TO MEEEE

[yourlocalnameless]

I'm gonna win lil bro 😭😭🙏🙏

TRY ME.

YALL IT LOOK LIKE OCTOBELLA HAD BEEN THE CHOSEN ONE TO BE PLAY IN SO YEAH HERE THE TIC TAC TOES ON OCTOBELLA FOREHEAD SORRY OCTOBELLA BUT CATBOY WIN THE VOTE CHALLENGE😔😞

[finnicksghost]

things i really appreciated in my 5th screening of spiderverse/ some incomplete notes:

> The use of comic books in every Spider introduction is a refreshing take in splitting the film into chapters. Each drop of the comic book on-screen with the writers’ name with their respective art style is mesmerizing. By the time Miles’ Spiderman chapter is dropped, there’s a swell of pride and joy from watching it be pieced together.

> we all talk about how disastrous peter b is in his universe’ with his bad financial decision but RIPeter was out there in miles’ universe having some sort of existential crisis in making the christmas album albeit as a result of marketing himself. (this is a shitty note pls ignore this)

> the camera movements in miles’ introduction as we’re bopping along with him

> it always surprises me on how refreshing it is to have a superhero/blockbuster film with a lot of positive and affectionate moments.

> i love an affectionate morales/davis household

> aaron watching miles create the grafitti underground and encouraging him to create more, even helping him out to finish his work.

> aaron’s expression dims when he opens up his phone to read a message (albeit from fisk)

> the transition to comic art/language by the time miles is turning into spiderman is very fun to see. a particular favourite: “EVERYONE KNOWS” and the trail of “no’s” behind him as he processes the idea that he now has spiderpowers.

> gwen tells miles to relax so he would stop sticking only to end up launching him to the other side of the room

> miles recording RIPeter’s fight with the prowler which he applies by the time he becomes spiderman

> RIPeter was so optimistic and excited about Miles’ even in his death, it’s hard not to be upset about it.

> MJ is absolutely beautiful and I wished they gave her more screentime (hopefully in the sequels).

> Aunt May having to bury her Peter while welcoming different versions of him from other dimensions sounds so exhausting. But I also find it funny on how she asks for Miles’ help to set up a dating account so she can get out of the house for once.

> RIPeter rolling his eyes at the Prowler’s sharp gauntlet, “I am so tired”, “That’s a no no” vs Peter B rolling his eyes at how pretentious RIPeter’s lab is, “I am tired”, “That’s a no no” and their difficulty with their goobers

> Peter B keeps his camera near him during the portal opening in his dimension. fun details like: there is also a small pinned notes for a case in his wall, a bicycle, etc.

> The “Catch the S Train” segment is an early fun introduction to Peter B and Miles’ relationship. My particular favourite point of the sequence is Miles holding on tightly to Peter’s unconscious frowning snowman head.

> The script to the film in the walk and talk sequence where Peter screams into his arm “NO! DO NOT LET HIM WIN!!” and actually hearing a muffled “FUCKKK MEEEE!! NO!!! DO NOT LET HIM WIN!!” before resigning to Miles’ charm “Alright kid, you win.”

> Anybody else emotional over Peter softening to Miles’ and actually calling him “buddy” while also marveling at Miles’ amazing powers?

> Juxtaposition of peter b smiling while listening to gwen and miles in the bus back to queens vs gwen thoughtfully looking at miles and peter at the spider den when peter gets upset over a photo of mj

> Noir is literally the funniest character in this film and that’s he’s voiced by Nicolas Cage is the icing on top.

> Ham has nostrils that are in tune with his eye movements and its so funny.

> Peter has so much faith in Miles when he introduces him to the Spider gang but also realizes halfway through the fight in Aunt May’s house that Miles’ may not be emotionally ready to take everything on and literally volunteers to die so Miles doesnt have to.

> Peni Parker hitting Noir when he tells Miles that he has a pretty hardcore origin story.

> The Leap of Faith scene still takes my breath away as it did the first time. Miles’ incorporates so many tips from the people he’s learned from while applying his own style and creativity (eg, running and the black suit). When he does the flip with the sprayed on spider symbol, I get so emotional.

> “I love you and I’m so proud of you!”, “He finally figured it out!”, “It’s nice to know we’re not alone.”, “I, uh love you all”

> Peter learning and being inspired to start fixing his life again after meeting Miles is one of my most favourite thing about their whole relationship.

> Daniel Pemberton’s score for this film is amazing but my most favourite would have to be “Shoulder Touch” where Miles finally destroys the Collider and while it does, he sees every other dimension close off as the beats incorporate themselves onto the score and there’s a bit of relief in knowing that Miles isn’t alone and that he has another family to call to.

> When Jefferson starts talking about the mural for Aaron and Miles gets teary eyed and hugs his dad so tight.

> Miguel arrives an hour and a half late into the film with a goober to point out how rude it is to point to the first Spiderman.

i dont know how many minutes they’ve trimmed off the film but i wouldnt mind seeing 3-5 hours of this because i truly enjoyed every minute of it. is there a gag reel even?

[colorfultrichild-blog]

Ironman 70.3 Chattanooga Race Report May 21, 2017 Swim(1.2 miles shortened to .8 miles)- 17:14   Bike(56 miles)- 2:37:57   Run(13.1 miles)- 1:46:15 Total- 4:47:26     10th 25-29 Female

Chatty 70.3! My favorite Half Ironman! I love this course, I love this town, I love how close it is to Atlanta, and I especially love how so many Atlanta Tri Club peeps are there to race and cheer! Running through a tunnel of people wearing luau attire while cheering you on through the hardest part of the day is so rad! All the high fives and smiles for meeee! Alright, so let's get down to it:

Jason and I left for Chattanooga nice and early the morning before the race so we could meet up with my coach, Carrie, for the usual check in and pre race spin/run. So you guys may remember from my previous race reports that I've had some issues with my bike fit/ lower back problems. Well let me start by saying I'M A BIG DUMB DUMBASS…because I decided to try and wiggle my saddle down just a smidge, about a week before the race, in an attempt to ease some discomfort downstairs. Just a tiny bit! That's all! Well, naturally I ended up moving it way more than I intended. Then I couldn't tell if it was anywhere near where it had been before. Whoops! On our pre race spin I could tell things definitely weren't right, but at that point- the day before the race- I thought, f*ck it! Time to smile through it and just hope things don't fall apart!

That night we attended the annual ATC pre race dinner and had some pasta, laughs, and a beer just to calm the nerves. We headed back to the hotel (luckily coach hadn't cancelled her reservation when we offered for her to stay with us at our Air Bnb that ended up being a super weird situation that none of us wanted to stay in…) got all our things together and hit the hay just in time for the GNARLIEST storm to hit. I mean it was bananas out there. Raining like crazy, lightning, you name it. I suck at trying to sleep any earlier than midnight and I also hate storms sooooo let's just say I didn't get as much sleep as I had hoped. SMILE THROUGH IT! WOO!

One major difference between this race and Florida 70.3, which I blew up during in April, was that I was planning on giving it my all while smiling and having as much fun as I could. No pressure. No goals. Just fun. After weeks of post Florida bummed outness, I had a little "come to Jesus" with myself. I absolutely love triathlon. It's my happy place and I had totally lost sight of that. The pressure I put on myself had absolutely made me fall apart during Florida 70.3. Chattanooga was going to be my redemption. My return to racing for the love of it. Ok I had 1 goal: HAVE SOME DAMN FUN.

Shortly after Fla I decided to stop training with numbers and focus on feel. I still wore my Garmin and uploaded all the info for coach, but I didn't look at it while training. I would focus on how I felt and how happy I was while training…and my numbers IMPROVED. Since I had been training by feel, I was planning on racing by feel, but with little number checks here and there to make sure I wasn't over doing it. I was ready to race!

RACE DAY: Woke up earlier than any human should and choked down my peanut butter toast and crappy hotel coffee. Eating before race has gotten way easier for me. I used to only manage 1 or 2 bites, but now I can knock out 1 or 2 whole slices of pb toast with some Gatorade. Score! Finished breakfast, obsessively checked my gear about 600 times, paid the potty a visit (don't even play like pooping before a race isn't crucial..we're all humans here) and headed out!

Got to transition nice and early, set up our spots, and somehow managed to get our little crew together before hopping on the bus to the swim start. A few days before- myself, Coach, and a number of other wonderful gals all aiming for around 5 hours decided we would start together in the hopes we'd be able to cheer each other on out on the course. I LOVED THAT IDEA, of course. Racing with friends makes everything better! This was possible because Chatt 70.3 is a self seeded race with a point to point swim. This year they tried to divide the line into certain time estimates. We almost ended up in the 50 minute section before realizing we were waaaaaay further back than we wanted to be.We seeded ourselves kind of near the back of the "faster" section and got our wetsuits on.

Swim: The cannon went off as the male pro's started their day. We watched as they seemed to be taking their time getting to that first buoy upstream….uh oh…the storm the night before had made the current craaaazy strong. The lady pro's started next and it was the same situation where it seemed like it sure was taking them a long time to get to that first buoy…. The first age groupers are supposed to go in about 15 minutes after the male pro wave, but they hadn't started filing in. We were all anxiously waiting to see what the hold up was. After a bit more waiting, we heard the announcement that the upstream part of the swim had been cut. Instead of going up stream to turn right, go across stream for a bit, then make the right turn down stream- we would now hop in and make a diagonal dash across stream to the next closest buoy. We were told it was about .4 miles shorter than usual. I honestly wasn't even bummed. Even though the swim is my "strength", a shorter swim down a fast current sounded super fun! More energy for later!

I was walking down the dock with some of my best friends and favorite ladies around me, ecstatic to start my number 1 race. I turned and yelled "Love y'all! See ya at the end!" and hopped in the water! No time to mess around- shorter swim means harder pace so I got down to it. I love this swim because there are no waves and its cool swimming under the big bridges down stream. Nothing stands out about the swim this time. It wasn't crowded so I pretty much had open water the majority of the time and made my way down stream as fast as I could. I made it out of the water in 17:14 and sprinted towards the closest wetsuit stripper I could find. She yanked that bad boy right off. I ran up the ramp to see Jason cheering and taking photos and made my way past as many folks as I could while sprinting to my sweet lil Orbea- which thanks to the AWA section was in a way more convenient spot than last year!

Bike: So like I said…I'M A BIG DUMB DUMBASS…and hopping on the bike I could tell things weren't perfect, but I honestly didn't care! I was so happy to be at this race and to be racing with my heart.

Things were going as usual as I was taking in nutrition and hydrating on schedule for the first 25 miles or so. I was feeling pretty solid.  Then, like always…I started feeling my lower back getting angry. I was staying positive, though. I still felt good. Plus, it was overcast and not very hot! My back started getting angrier. STUPID BACK! I hit mile 30 and could tell I was losing power and had developed a pain shooting down my inner thigh into my knee. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been in the past, but I was also constantly having to shift my butt back on the saddle because of my genius adjustments. Things were uncomfortable, but I was still smiling. I was trucking along when some of my gals started speeding past! I don't mind if my friends pass me going at what seemed like the speed of light! Any and all smiles and cheers of encouragement help when the race pain starts setting in.

I settled in, put my head down, and just kept on going.  Despite my back pain, it was a crazy fast kind of day. I looked at my power average after the race and it was quite a bit lower than it should have been, but I ended up with an 8 minute PR! I mean I felt like I was trucking along like usual, but apparently I was zoomin' and so was everyone else! I'd heard the 2015 bike splits were way faster than 2016 for some reason. Well, apparently the stars had aligned, like in 2015, and it was a speedy day for all.

My run had improved a lot this season so I was looking forward to getting off that damn slip'n'slide of a saddle. I was ecstatic when I rolled into transition in the 2:30's! I had never even broken 2:45! I was chanting, "I'm getting off my bike! Yay! I'm getting of my bike! Yay!" in my head when I hopped off and sped through transition to snag my saucony's!!

Run: Yaaaay! Run time! I came off my bike ready to get my leggies movin'. Knocked out a speedy transition and was off! I've simplified my transition strategy this year so I was in and out. A number of ATC peeps were there to cheer us through transition and I just could not stop smiling. I made a point to try and actually smile as much as possible during the run. I had a guy come up to me after I finished and say, "did you know you smile while you run?" And I said, "I sure do! Gotta get through it somehow!"

I did a quick pace check within the first mile to make sure I wasn't hitting it too hard from the beginning and I was running a little hot. I decided to reel it in a bit, hoping I could hold a stronger steadier pace throughout instead of slowing down as the mileage increased. I got my tail up that big ass hill at about .8 miles and was welcomed by the ATC cheering crew and my amazing boyfriend. I LOVE THIS GROUP. I smiled even bigger and tried to high five as many people as I could without losing time. Things were good in my world and I was actually running some folks down. This is new to me, because my run had really kind of plateaued last season. So I was getting all kinds of pumped. I caught up to my lovely friend Deirdre and gave her a much expected smack on the tush before continuing on.

I came through the first aid station and got my usual swig of water, swig of gatorade, and some water over my head. It was still over cast-ish, but things were definitely heating up. Even though I wasn't feeling super hot, I wanted to avoid even coming close to overheating. I hit the next porta potty for my usual pee break and fell right back into stride. I mean, even though my back was a turd on the bike, this was pretty much my dream run. Oh, and I didn't forget my Base Salt in transition like I did last year…so that was a plus! No cramping for me!

So Chatt is a 2 loop course with a variety of surfaces and hill intensities. Mostly little rollers, but a couple of nasty climbs too. It's just challenging enough, I'm my opinion. I love the riverside wooden walkway. It's a nice change from pavement and it's just cool running by the river while totally shaded by big trees.

I was smiling, taking in nutrition and fluids right on schedule, so things were great! I caught my amazing friend, Meg, who literally destroys souls on the bike and she was looking strong as hell. We shared a quick little chit chat with lots of love. I love racing with my friends…have I said that enough times yet? Because it's dope.

I held my pace right around 8 minutes for both laps and came flying down that final hill to the finish with a BIG BIG grin. Crossing the finish like of a 70.3 feeling like I had conquered the world was such an awesome change from my last half. I was back. Honestly, I'm glad I raced Florida and had such a shitty day, because it was the wake up call I needed. I have raced so much harder and happier since then. When you have a crappy race-learn from it. Don't dwell on it and give up. Let it teach you something. It taught me that racing with your heart is so much more powerful than anything else in triathlon. Chattanooga 70.3 was my dream race and I have 0 complaints. I am beyond ecstatic with my time, my place in my age group, and my overall positive mentality throughout the race. SMILE Y'ALL! GET THROUGH THAT RACE BECAUSE YOU LOVE IT!

Cheers, friends! CJ

[nonbinarybaby]

What was your first heartbreak like? What happened to you/what did they do?

Oh boy. That is a very long, and involved story, but I’ll try and explain the gist of it. I’ll put it under the cut here, just in case nobody wants to read it, but I guess if you want to, click on down ‘ere.

Surprisingly, my first heartbreak wasn’t my first love- she never really broke my heart, only wounded it- but in the end, she and I are still good friends, even today. 

No, my first heartbreak was with my first love who was a Male. I’m not gonna say his real name for Privacy purposes, but lets just call him Vincent. 

So, Vincent was 19 years old and in grade 12 (i can’t remember why he didn’t graduate on time/may have skipped out a year and came back) and I was 15 years old, and in grade 10. 

It was my first year of choir (I got into both of the audition-only choirs, but there was a non-audition, and as part of the credit you had to go to all of it, which was fine with me cause i loved it, but yeah) This choir was the non-auditioned choir, Meistersingers. Anybody could join, and it was a cool way to meet people, sing, and you got a school credit for it- plus all the fun trips and concerts and all that.

So, Vincent is in Meistersingers. But he was a huge loner. I never paid much attention to people around me, but I heard stories about him- not so much *about* him, but just girls gawking at how he was so hot and mysterious (kinda emo-punk) and they were too scared to talk to him because of how attractive and gloomy he seemed to be. 

 One day he was sitting alone against the wall, and I was talking to a friend, and I overheard this same conversation I’d heard SO MANY TIMES. And I was like

Y’know what? Enough. ENOUGHHHH.

So I marched over to him, with everyone in the vicinity watching in silence (because they thought it was so horrifying I was ACTUALLY going to talk to him.) And I stand right in front of him. He looks up at me, and I point at his socks (fuzzy, mismatched pink and green ones) and I point at mine (coincidentally, also fuzzy and mismatched at the time) and I smile and say “We have matching socks, and therefore, are now best friends. Now High-five me!”

 I held my hand in the air for like, 5 seconds before he BURSTS into laughter, giving me a high five, shaking his head while smiling up at me. He thanked me for the laugh and I asked his name, which he told me, and I said mine was Kate- He said “I know.” And I smiled and left.

After that day, he smiled at me and would make small conversation with me in Choir. We started hanging out during that time quite a lot. Eventually, i realized I was getting a crush on him- but, alas, he had a girlfriend. Woe is 15-year-old me. 

 But, he asked me to go with him for coffee after class one day- which was fine, since I had to wait for my mom to drive me home every day (I’m scared of schoolbusses- that’s a story for another day) So we go to a coffee shop and he’s talking with me.

 Basically Vincent tells me that he’s been feeling like, emotionally distraught because of his relationship. Apparently his girlfriend hadn’t been treating him well and making him feel pretty shitty, and then I came along and like made everything better. At this point my head is swirling because I had really low self esteem (was also still extremely depressed and an addict back then) and so this was like- what? wow. Me? Are you sure?

 He looked like he was going to hold my hand and decided against it but just told me that he was thankful I was around. 

 So, Cue hanging out more for another week and a half. Then he texts me and asks him to come see him on my break (I worked at a fast food place just a 4 minute walk from where he worked.) So I book over there, and He walks around the counter and just hands me his phone. I looked at it- he and his girlfriend broke up. And he just hugs me. I can tell he’s clearly upset, but i felt kind of relieved that I was the person he reached out to first things first. 

 So, I asked him the next day if he wanted to talk about it because I genuinely wanted him to be okay, but he said it was all good.

 We keep hanging out more and more, and it’s clear flirting is involved at this point. Eventually, there’s a school dance coming up, and we went together. Had a fun old time- he taught me how to dance. I remember it was one of the happiest nights of my life thus far. I stayed at his house that night, fell asleep cuddling him on his couch. After I fell asleep, he got up at some point and went to his room. (I called my mom before staying there and she was fine with it- she trusted me and my judgements.)

 So we keep talking and he has admitted he feels things for me, and I admit the same. And it also ends up leading to him saying that he felt tempted to try to do some *ahem* ~naughty~ things with me that night I stayed with him. But out of respect, removed himself. 

 Now, I was very insecure. And I am aware- 15 and 19? I should have kept it together more. But, I was afraid of him leaving, and I already didn’t know how to love myself or what it really felt like to be properly loved by someone else. So the next time I stayed over, I let some stuff happen. 

 Things continue on like that- we were always together at school, even holding hands, he had become my best friend, almost- aside from my actual best friend, whose name for the case of this story was Abby. 

 I introduced them both at the dance, actually, and was super happy they got along. We would all hang out together sometimes, and It felt like my life was really turning around. But the only shitty thing- I wasn’t officially dating Vincent. He never asked me out, And i was too afraid to ask. 

 Cue in this trip to a big city (like a long ass charter bus ride) for a choir competition/trip! It was super overwhelming because I spent so much time bonding with Vincent on our free time, It was also my first solo in a performance and it was a freestyle so I was geekin’- and I got good reviews! So we had to leave and head back home right after our performance (the one with my solo), So i’m already on an emotional high, because I did it and I nailed it! Go me!

 I get back to the busses (3 busses, the guys  were changing on one, girls on another, and then met up between) and I change , and my friend (lets call her Avera) Smiles and hugs me, shouting congratulations. And i was like “Thanks, I know, I can’t believe I actually did the solo well-” And she looks at me funny like “No, that isn’t what I meant..” So, I ask, naturally because what else could it be?

 And then she says “Vincent told me you guys are dating!”

 And I just freeze and im like….. well what in the fresh flying fuck is this

LIke that’s news??? to meeee?????????? wot

so, i change and go to the bus where everyone’s meeting. And sit down next to vincent, who congratulates me on my solo. And I shyly blurt out, “Am I your girlfriend?”

 And he just smiles slowly and says “Do you want to be?” And i Just nod, and then he says “well then, yeah.” 

 So, I hug him, and things seem all well and good.

 Until a week later, when my brother told my parents there was a rumour we were having sex (which wasn’t entirely true?? we fooled around but we didn’t have full penetrative sex because I was too scared to (-:) So my parents were threatening to call the cops and all this other shit. 

 And so, ha ha ha, after all this time of waiting- Vincent broke up with me. 

 Yepppppp. It sucked. 

 But, confusing ass thing- He still insisted on hanging out with me constantly and being around me. 

 So things go back to the way they were. Fooling around, being together, kissing, hugging, being so emotionally, mentally, and physically intimate- just not offically dating. 

 And that goes on for a couple more months. 

 But then one day he just basically tells me to get out of his house. And that he doesn’t want to speak to me anymore. 

 And the next day at school, he’s got his arm looped around this girl who is super fucking thin (I was too, but she was like mega-thin) So I wondered if it was because I was too fat. Too young. Too depressed. Too annoying. Too dumb. Too anything. Too me. 

 Thus, I go spiralling back into a severe pit of depression- worse than before I had met him. My addiction worsened, my blackouts worsened, my mental state completely depleted. 

 A month later, I heard he and this girl had broken up, but apparently he was still seeing someone. I didn’t want to hear anything about it. All i knew was I wanted to see my best friend, Abby- Desperately so. I needed someone. I could feel my pain and emotions building up like a volcano, just on the cusp of erupting, but she was constantly busy, and always had an excuse not to see me. I brushed it off cause I knew her mom wasn’t the healthiest- chalked it up to her being busy helping her. 

 But one day I hit a point where I knew I was on the brink. I really felt like I was going to seriously harm myself, and I wanted to. I fucking wanted to. But I still had a shred of hope, a part of me that screamed to talk to someone. 

 I called Abby 5 times. No answer. I texted her desperately. I pulled my hair and waited 5 more minutes, just hoping- and then my phone buzzed. And I got a text that read essentially, this-

 “Kate, I’m sorry, but I have to tell you the truth- I can’t keep it from you anymore. The reason I’ve been avoiding you, is that Vincent and I are dating now. I know that it’s shitty of me, but I care about him too much to let him slip by. I hope you’ll forgive me somehow.”

 I stared at my phone for 20 minutes, barely breathing. I didn’t even realize when I started crying my eyes out. I replied something along the lines of “I hope you rot in hell, and that you always regret choosing the guy who broke me over your best-fucking-friend, because he will never replace what I was to you.” (sidenote: not even 6 months later they broke up, and a year later she apologized to me desperately. I forgave her, even though it still hurt, but i’m over it now.) At the time of this happening, though- this was it. this was the explosion. 

 I don’t even really clearly remember what I did. I just know I ended up in the hospital for a bit. I won’t go into gory details, because that isn’t necessary. All you need to know is I had more therapy to go to, and I had to quit my job because I was too depressed to work at the time. I spent that summer basically just hiding from the world in my house, wondering why happiness wasn’t something I could have. 

 though at some point I was dragged out by friends to go hang out with some people- went to a hangout in my hometown for teens- and met this dude. I felt like I liked him, and soon enough we were dating. At my birthday party in the summer at my farm, me and friends and this guy were all there- and I get a text on my cell. 

 And it’s from Vincent. And it says - “I’m sorry. Happy birthday.”

 And that’s when I realized I didn’t even care about this guy who was with me. I waited two days and i broke up with him. I didn’t realize until then that He was a rebound (I didn’t know what that was lmao)

 But yeah so that text just made me super depressed again

 It took me until about the end of my grade 12 year to be completely over him. and even a little bit more than that, because at random times I would get really emotionally sick over how distraught what happened made me. And what I did to myself over it. (Shortly after Thomas and I started dating, we ran into him, and I bolted and Thomas couldn’t find me for a while. This was only about a month or two into dating, And I was still recovering mentally since I’d only been clean from my addiction for a couple months, so I was pretty raw. He was understanding, thankfully.) 

 So, it took me almost 2 and a half years to recover from the mental trauma I experienced from my first heartbreak. 

 I was trying to explain the gist, but there is no “gist” lmao. I can’t explain what happened without EXPLAINING what happened. Sorry bout it. 

 But well, yeah. So. That’s what happened. *Shrug* I’m over it now. I was 15 when it happened, and I turn 22 years old this July. 

 If anything, I hope this story didn’t make you sad. I hope it actually made you happy, somehow. Why, you may ask? 

 When I was 15, and crying and banging my fists on my thighs, wondering why I wasn’t good enough- I felt I would never be able to escape the horrid, all-encompassing pain I felt at that time. I felt I would be washed up in it forever, and never be able to leave it behind. 

 But now, I rarely think about it at all. The only time I do, is when I look deeply at my half-sleeve tattoo, or run my fingers along the scars that are now buried under something much more beautiful. I’ve come a long way, and grown into somebody that I definitely was not all those years ago. I’m happy now, and I love myself, and my life. And I actually am happy with those memories now, because I actually learned a lot about love, and myself, and how to deal with pain from it. 

 So, if you ever are feeling like you’ll never get past something, or it hurts too much- Sometimes it can take years- but you can do it. 

 It’ll all be okay.

 Someday. (: 

If you read this far, good for you. Here’s some free lovins’ as a gift ໒( ♥ ◡ ♥ )७ (ฅ⁍̴̀◊⁍̴́)و ̑̑

[solskinns]

(F.E.Z) Chapter 2; Getting the Amulet

The sound of a car horn stands out from a group of cars in front of the school and ready to get the kids out and ready for the bright summer “come on guys let’s get a move on” that was my friend’s cousin: Jacob and is kind of jerk when it comes to his patience.

“We’re coming Jacob, geez!” and THAT is my childhood friend Crystal. Before we could even get to the door, our annoying but not terrible teacher came outside and if you say that’s harsh listen to this:

“Imma see YOU dudes and dudettes latas!!” as usual we just smile and wave goodbye just like ‘yeah’ and ‘okay’ kinda thing. Then, we finally get in the car oh, and by the way I have to admit: Jacob has a pretty cool car.

It’s a sports car in red with a picture of an eagle seen from a top view. The hood is detachable, although he rarely uses it due to the wind. Plus, the car is slim enough to be very aero-dynamic with the exception of one’s head. Jacob doesn’t use this car unless it was urgent and/or a special occasion

“So, are you going to take us to the place you’ve been talking about so much?” I say with an annoyed tone.

“What *pfff* no, of course not” he was lying. He kicks the gas pedal into high gear with huge excitement. So if you’re wondering how I knew he was lying: uhh lucky guess. Anyway, as we pass by a lot of buildings me and Crystal tell Jacob about our last day and what happened, but he didn’t seem interested so the two of us decided to have our own conversation to pass the time such as: what we did separately, the food we had at lunch, and the lessons we took (yeah there wasn’t really much to talk about). Jacob immediately stops the car causing me and Crystal to get pushed to the back of the front seats. As we get out, we see a very old temple that looks pretty obscure unless you were in my perspective and it was right in front of you which was compiled of stone “here we are” said Jacob.

“And where exactly is ‘here’?” I ask.

“The ancient temple that I have been looking for ever since I was told about the legend in this very town”

“Ohh, that’s very interesting just like the discovery of the plastic treasure chest from the last time” I sarcastically respond.

“Hey, it was a very convincing looking chest! How would I have known it was part of a scavenger hunt for little kids?”

“And yet the chest was worth more than an average wooden chest” Crystal added. We stop the conversation and Jacob tells us to get the stuff from the trunk, we agree and get the equipment out as we go I say “what do you think it is this time?”

“It probably might be a ‘gold’ chalice” Crystal responds.

“Ha! Yeah or a ‘magical’ scepter” I bring up. We both laugh, come back, and he takes the bag and electric torch he “earned” (bought on the internet) to goes inside the temple while we follow him.

The underground place is very old and has worn out walls covered with moss as well as medieval for its time. It also had a creepily dark hallway, with a light at the end of the tunnel if that wasn’t scary I don’t know what is. We go through a few puzzles.

The first one was an ancient matching routine that had a trick to it as some looked like they shouldn’t be able to fit.  This one was simple for Jacob since he had a knack for looking deep into things. He denies this idea many times, however Crystal and I would tell him the man that was buying into the idea that the Grim Reaper was a farmer or there exists a worm that travels back in time at random points because of a failed government experiment has no room to talk.

Another puzzle had all three of us memorizing symbols that are shown for a little bit and you make the combination without looking. This one was more of a job for Crystal and her photographic memory! She says it’s nothing supernatural and she does slip up from time to time, on the other hand she also seems to do so intentionally so I’m not totally sure yet.

“it’s just a thing I can do” She would say, almost spitefully so “it’s not out of the ordinary if I can do something better than you” okay definitely spitefully.

“Yeah okay, you must be an alien or secretly a monster from those black and white movies” I respond half-jokingly. We both have a laugh about that and besides, I wouldn’t really mind if she was a supernatural being because she’s soooo super cool…yeah.

Suddenly Jacob “Well actually-“

“No!” Crystal and I collectively interrupt from his interruption.

The last puzzle required a stone of purple that had been lost to time (at least that’s what Jacob says it is) that he pulls out of his bag and hands it to me to place onto because I was…just the only person who didn’t do anything yet and therefore the doors have now opened.

Finally, we get to the last room with a platform to go with it just to give it a knock-off of a cheap adventure movie.

“Well this is ‘nice,’” I tease “you have passed the 3 trials of a literal puzzle, a memory game, and a ‘place item here’ game” I say next in the impression of a wizard telling a prophesy.

Crystal carries on my bit “And as a reward, we bestow to you, an admittedly beautiful amulet that in no way is simply plastic from a Halloween store!” and we both snicker at it.

“Cute” Jacob continued “you won’t be so sarcastic once you see what that can do” Jacob walks up the 5 steps and takes the amulet that was on the platform he puts it on and says: “I call upon death’s power!” and

…

…

…

…Nothing!

“Bravo, bravo; such a beautiful act!” I sarcastically applauded.

“Truly we are shaking in our shoes, but still touched by your performance” Crystal joins.

“Oh, would you two shut-up! Why isn’t this working?” He hits the thing a bit, scratching his head on what to do with it until he finds the center disk is able to spin on its own. “Could it be this thing here that powers it up?” He whispers as he fidgets around with it.

as this happens, Crystal looks around with me at the place and stop at some really cool statues in stone; they aren’t very detailed, though also huge in size like those titans we read about in school.

“These have weird designs that look like they came from dark ages like that bear thing there in purple” I decide to point out.

“or even the one here that has a raven” Crystal adds.

We all feel a rumbling suddenly occur that has us jump into a panic. Jacob and us looks behind him and his eyes are greeted with the large statues that seemed slouched, but beefy as a rare steak in strength that pick up their bulk.

“RUN!!” And run we did, trying to escape the soldiers. Every time I look back I see the monsters smashing everything in its path. Pillars, traps, the floor bricks themselves you name it. As if it was on adrenaline and steroids which continued to freak me out.

We find ourselves at the exit when all of a sudden; it closes off. Crystal and I try to open it in fear, but we give up and look at him with scared, concerned faces to see if he has an idea. He seems to be confused because he needed to remember, where this miracle was. He remembers, and then gets his bag out to find his lucky bomb and throw it at the wall “GET DOWN!!” I grab Crystal and move us out of the way the bomb was real lucky because it made a big hole.

Unfortunately, the luck was running out because the hole began to re-close Crystal and I gasp. Jacob looks worried, looks at us then, the amulet. This repeats for a while until he takes off the amulet, gives it to me, pushes me with Crystal into the hole, and I see Jacob smile at me one last time that said ‘Don’t worry about me’. A tear builds at my eye when I realized it, however before our landing, the hole fully closed!

We got out, but Crystal got up “Jacob!” she cries “Zero, quick open the wall” she says as she begins to do so and I follow. We bang the stone wall hoping to break it, but with no such luck we could only listen and visualize (big mistake). We listen to the sound of Jacob say “come at me dude, come at meeee!” big footsteps, monster yells, cousin screams, and then: DEAD silence!

Now the door is fading away!? We both make an effort to have it not do that which in hindsight what were we going to do? Soon the thing had fully disappeared…no evidence…no temple…no cousin…there was nothing, but us in tears for nothing, it seems.

…Crystal bursts into tears so I try to calm her down and we have both of us hug each other. I get my mom to pick us up because Crystal has to see someone else before confronting her parents.

Mom drives up to us and we get in with silence. As she drives, she wanted to hear something from us “Are any of the two of you going to tell me what happened?” she asks our sad faces.

I shook my head “not…until we get home, mom”

“…okay” she gives up and keeps driving home.

We arrive at the house and I take Crystal to be inside, on the other hand she refused and wished to go home so I had no objections.

Mom agrees to drive her home. Crystal tells her parents about what happened (while also leaving out the monster part) as I did myself. I managed to keep the amulet with me and I concluded with the following: may we never forget this day.

[lightsblinded]

Drabble: Charlie Ngata & Maccas.

I started writing this on May 20′th and I just finished it up really quickly but I stan this mother/daughter duo tbh.

Calvin's mother has sent the customary photo to Tess this morning, like she does every year on this day. This year he's leaning over a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cake, grinning like an idiot. His eyes are blue, like Jason's, but his other features are unmistakably Tess. She thinks he even has the same teeth as her, even though she isn't sure that's possible. With the photo comes the text, similar to the one she gets every year. "8 years ago today, you gave us our son-shine. Happy Thank You Day!"

She's just finished up getting a haircut when the message comes, and she sits in the chair staring at the picture. She's never felt like his Mom, even those 20 minutes after giving birth to him when she held him and cried as she quietly told him about his blood family and then the people coming to adopt him. Jessica and Scott. They had treated her like family the moment they met, when she was six months pregnant. She had wanted nothing more than to keep him, be a mom. And every glance at Jason, every angry twitch of his eyelid reminded her why that wasn't possible. Jessica was his mom, and she was a really good one.

There's a tug at her blouse but she doesn't notice at first. She looks up at herself in the mirror. This cut has been the most drastic since she came to New Zealand four years ago. Many years of growing her curly hair out ended by the scissors, its right across her shoulders now, and they've straightened it to last until she washes it in a couple of days. She sees the way the 5 or so years have aged her as she looks at herself. Her early 30s certainly hadn't left her wrinkled like a prune yet, but she can see the effects of time. She wonders how much that will change now, as she heads closer to her 40's. The tug comes again and this time, with it, a whine.

"Mum....meeee. Mummy! Mum!"

Blinking, she looks down at Charlie, two and a half going on 4. Where Cal is mostly Tess with a smidge of Jason, Charlie is a good mix of her and Darius. Wildly curly hair that's just a little closer to Darius' color, his eyes, her lips and nose, her skintone is closer to his and she seems to have a tiny gap between her front teeth so far. Smiling a little, she reaches down to pull the girl up onto her lap.

Stevie was only a few years older when Tess first met them. She's seven now. And she's Tess' greatest joy equal with Charlie. She loves to climb into bed with her and talk, about life, school, her favorite books and tv shows. To run her fingers through her hair and sing softly to her. Stevie doesn't even remember Elle and Tess isn't sure, but she suspects she may not even remember that Tess isn't her mother, at least sometimes. She's fine with that, she wants her to only have good memories of being loved, cared for, wanted.

"What do you think, munchkin? You like mummy's hair?" Charlie regards her a moment, trying to understand how she looks different but also the same. Her chubby little arm reaches out to run fingers down the shorter locks, eyes blinking. She looks like Darius when she thinks. (And when she poops.)

Tess reaches in turn to brush her own fingers across Charlie's hair and the tot beams at her, pressing her palms to her mother's cheeks. "Pretty!" She exclaims, leaning to rub their noses together. Tess grins and leans into her a moment. It's insane to her that she's had a hand in creating these two exquisite creatures. When she had given Cal up she had longed for this connection for so long. Only after meeting Darius and Stevie did she find it in her. Their bond had changed a little with Stevie's shift in interests and such, but it was uniquely them, they evolved together.

She sighs a little and picks her phone back up, angling it to take a picture of them with their faces close together, she sends it to Darius so he can see what she's done and what they've done, smiling as she includes a text. "Thank you for giving me everything I never knew I was missing. Love you, Charlie Bug and Mumface."

Charlie makes a delighted little sound at the picture and sways around happily in her Mum's lap, singing a song she's writing, the only lyrics so far being 'daddy' and the occasional bridge of 'cheeeeeeeeeeee'. Once the message is sent, Tess sticks her phone in her bag and stands with her arm moving Charlie onto her hip. She pays, gets her a lolly after she spots them on the counter (thus spawning a chorus of 'lolly') and heads out to the car.

Once Charlie is buckled in to her seat and she's got the car started, Tess glances at her in the mirror. "What do you think we should have for dinner Charlie Bug?"

She claps her little hands together and rubs. "Maccas!!"

Tess scoffs. "You're starting to sound like your sister. Mum's cooking. What do you want that Mum makes?"

Charlie makes a stink face at her in the mirror. "Mac-cas! Mummy!!! Maaaccaaaaaas!!!"

There's a heavy sigh from the front seat, and Charlie's grin creeps towards satisfaction. Tess turns in the seat to look directly at her. "I will get you and Stevie donut balls, but you have to eat Mum's dinner before you can have them."

Charlie crosses her arms over her chest and pulls her very best (and heavily practiced) Darius Face of Disapproval. "No donut balls! Chicken Cheese!!!" A tiny hand raises to adjust invisible glasses on the bridge of her nose, and Tess has to fight off a smile.

"Oh you, you need to stop being cute acting like your daddy." Tess sighs again, sinking a little in her seat. "Fine. We'll get Maccas tonight. But that means no donut balls and Fanta float this week."

Charlie doesn't care, or more likely, comprehend what that means. She throws her arms out and wiggles delightedly in her seat. "Yaaaay!! Chicken cheese!!!" To think a toddler could be so excited over a McChicken with a slice of Kraft on it. She sighs a little as she looks at her in the mirror, her heart weak with love for this little creature. Pride knowing how happy and healthy she has grown to be.

She starts the car, but doesn’t shift into reverse yet, shifting to lean back and gently tug on her little ankle, smiling when Charlie gives her a perplexed little face. “Mummy loves you, Charlie.”

The girl immediately breaks into a grin, her tiny teeth shining in the sun as she proudly lifts her chin. “I love you, Mummy! Let’s go get some CHICKEN CHEESE!”