#SHE ISNT EVEN GIVING HIM A CHANCE IM SO SORRY

[itadooori]

I desire to see more of Hyun-ju in your style, please (and tell me more about your oc's as well, I like people's oc's)

hyun-ju the most beautiful girl ever (⸝⸝⸝• ω •⸝⸝⸝) ♡ i love her sm!!! thank u for giving me an excuse to draw her haha

as for my squid game ocs, i'll put my ramble under the cut as i have quite a bit to say lol

so! my ocs :3 as i previously mentioned before, they are a father and daughter pair! (i also finally came up with names for them, adhika is the daughter and dakila is the father)

much like geum-ja and yong-sik, i think that they both joined the games separately and only knew abt each other when they arrived. their family is def struggling, with adhika's father in debt and having a hard time finding work while her mother takes care of her younger siblings. adhika just turned 18 a few months ago, and has been working odd jobs here and there in attempts to support her family and pay off their debt, but the money is just a drop in the bucket.

adhika feels a very strong sense of responsibility towards her family, and wants to help out. she even refused to leave to go to university, despite being very smart and having a bright future in academics, to help out her family. but also sometimes, she also feels...burdened? it's a very conflicting feeling. she loves her family, but she'd be lying if she said didn't feel a twinge of resentment at this situation. i hope that makes sense lol

i haven't yet decided if my ocs are gonna just be fun little canon inserts or if im giving them their own story. both options seem rlly fun to me so kjssdkfjh im having a tough time deciding

some fun little tidbits about dakila and adhika's way of going about the games:

adhika is locked the fuck in. she's already at a disadvantage being a young, 5 foot tall, non-korean girl, so she's working twice or thrice as hard to get thru this shit

as i said before, adhika is very smart. she has good people-reading skills, and the ability to kinda morph into whatever people need her to be, or fit into whatever dynamic she believes people want her to fit (a skill that she picked up from just. life experience as the oldest sibling in a struggling family LMAO)

dakila is trying to look out for his daughter, but the games put a strain on their relationship

adhika has lowkey manipulative tendencies. they come out and worsen during the games. honestly, just think of her as a nasty mix of sang-woo and mi-nyeo. absolutely FOUL things coming from this girl i love her

this isnt really important at all nor does it really come up within her story but i still want to mention adhika is a lesbian. she joins the doomed squid game lesbian roster with sae-byeok ji-yeong and young-mi LMAO

akjfhdskjhf sorry this is so jumbled i just have a lot of thoughts. i'm still ironing out dakila and his personality so unfortunately i dont have as much on him as i do with adhika. but i hope that this information is interesting enough for now!! thank you SO much for giving me the chance to ramble abt my silly guys

[redrum-alice]

DJ Jinx x Listener Ekko (Single Parent AU)

Just hear me out, this isnt a mix up (set in 2000s)

----

Jinx got pregnant with Ekko's child during their senior year in college. She didnt want to ruin Ekko's scholarship and future, but she didnt want to let go of the opportunity of having a family (since she nearly cut contact with everyone, even Vi), so she dropped out and worked with whatever she had. They didnt see eachother then ever since...until 3 years later lmao

Ekko came back from his internship being an engineer and turning on the radio, he heard that distinct lively voice. He heard from his colleagues that this local radio station in their area was booming because of its radio announcer/DJ having a loud and cheerful personality who has a late night segment for people that have confessions and she gives advices (may or may not work, but people are entertained). Her playlists also played to his tastes and got deeply curious who this girl was.

Ekko tried to write a confession for someone he held dear and was his sweetheart for the longest time, but he didnt get the chance to ask her out or plan the future with her.

When the DJ received the letter and read it on air, she immediately paused when she realized who it was.

"Ekko?" She trembled.

Ekko was shocked and wondered why his name was revealed (but was skeptic since there maybe other Ekkos in town). When he heard the DJ ramble the address to where they should meet, he wrote it down (didnt care if that was against their ethics and standards)

The very next day, Ekko entered a cafe where the DJ told him to go. He was shocked to see Jinx, all grown up nicely. They hugged and chatted, until eventually Jinx invited him over to her apartment. She had a toddler...was this his punishment for not asking her ou--

"I wanted to tell you I got pregnant with your kid years ago... im sorry"

Ekko was forever thankful she didnt say she got married-- bc he was more than ready to put a ring on her finger

[strawbrryvyy]

Nct dream as love tropes ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

Pairings - ot7!nct dream x gn!reader

Wc-1.2k

a/n- hii!!I hope you guys enjoy this little piece,unfortunately i may not be able to get out a+in secrets f in feelings part2 this week, but hopefully by the 14th🩷🩷

Mark Lee

╰┈➤ Okay!i feel like everyone would agree with me if I say that he radiates childhood bestfriends to lovers.

Like I can just imagine this sweet boy always following you around as a child yknow cuz you guys were besties and just always wanting to be around you.

THEN maybe one day you guys end up going to seperate universities(or college) and with everything going on lose touch

Fast forward three years, hes home,you’re home- BANG … you guys end up sleeping with eachother.

Now THIS brings up old feelings and as much youd like to ignore them, push them away and lock them up with a key, sealing them away forever…..its mark.

This is the boy you spent years chasing after not knowing if it would ever work.this is the boy that used to play guitar and make you silly little songs.this is the boy who was standing infront of you,pleading with his dark wood eyes and that little pout that could drive anygirl insane, that you give him a chance.

So what if you took that chance?

Huang Renjun

╰┈➤ Ok so for our boy renjunnie I’d say rivals to lovers for sure!

Just picture it, you’ve been the artist at your school,in tour family, your friend group…your THE artist.

Suddenly, tho in university it feels as if your walling the tightrope, constantly neck to neck with Huang Renjun to get the best in university.

So when a teacher suddenly picks BOTH of you to pair up for an assignment, you have to think “what is she thinking??”

Now im not saying renjun would be a little prick…but what if that is what I’m saying?He keeps taling your pencils,misplacing your oil pastels,spilling your paints.

This is what happens until youve had it, with him and his stupid comments and stupid…handsome face?

Now youre here crying and sobbing , hitting his chest as he stands there frozen…before wrapping his arms around you pressing small breathy kisses on your crown to calm you down

“Please…..shh..shh I can’t bare…please my love I’m sorry..”

So,what happens if you forgive him?

Lee Jeno

╰┈➤ Ok so …..the classic badboy x goodgirl trope.

I mean this man SCREAMS tattoos and sneaking you out to ride on his dangerous bike WITHOUT a helmet.

Ok so basically youre in university , still living with your parents because how could they let their precious scholarship child live in a overcharged small room with multiple other rascals?

Ok so you guys ALSO meet because of a school project, in which surprises you because your like “you want me??? With this big tattooed muscly guy??”

So basically jeno realises how naive you are and decided to invite you to a party that ISNT as wild as others but still pretty wild

There you get your first taste of alcohol that isnt expensive vodka and it feels as if the sun has shined on your dreary night, because a few kisses here and there and now your tangled in his sheets with a pounding headache.

And what makes you absolutely weak in the knees is that he stayed the morning after and even confessed.

“Yeah….I think- no I know I’m in love with you”

Lee Donghyuck

╰┈➤ Okay loser x popular student, with donghyuck being the loser who thinks hes funny and thats why everyone laughs but their actually laughing at him.

Ok so maybe one day donghyuck is doing something REALLY stupid which causes your new expensive dress to be ruined

In order for him to pay you back he offers to be your assistant for a year and ngl you laugh at his face , like hello??

Okay but you agree and THIS MAN … who taught him how to memorise coffee orders perfectly like….

Anyways you guys get closer until one day one of your more popular friends tells you to do a little prank on him and you , who ngl is abit confused about your feelings, agree,i mean whats the harm?

So you tell donghyuck you like him in a place where your friends were recording and as soon as he says that he likes you back , you laugh at his face and tell him it was a prank.

This boy is HEARTBROKEN as he runs away tears clinging to his eyes, causing you to realise you DO like him.

SO you run after him and as he stands there in front of you yelling at you, you take it ,begging for another chance and that you DO love him and you were stupid.now you were the crying mess until a word slips out from donghyucks mouth.

“Fine”

Na jaemin

╰┈➤ Ok so he gives off brothwrs bestfriend trope!!just imagine trying to get his attention while wearing the tiniest skirts and tops that could pass as underwear.

He obviously knows what tour doing when you come out of your room wearing what he could consider a bra and panties just because its “scorching!”

He just can’t help but want ro bend you over that kitchen counter everytime he sees you, and he knows youd gladly oblige….as long as your beothwr doesent find out!

So to maybe ease the tension he asks you formally on a date and it works because when your in his bed moaning his name, the last thing in his mind is your brother finding out.

Maybe you dont care either because with how how you smile up at him with every chance you get he can tell you love him!

Zhong Chenle

╰┈➤ Classic rich boy x poor girl trope.maybe your at a university and usually its rich people who go there but you have a scholarship (okay brainy smurf!!)

Maybe you run into him while hes on a walk with daegal and she runs away and you find her.

You immediately contact chenle because of the number on her coller and you and chenle become kinda friends.

Now he definately FLAUNTS his wealth and your there just like “yeah dude” and maybe chenle buys you small trinkets (i would NOT call a gold bracelet a small trinket but whatever ig).

And as you guys hang out more it hits you. OMG!!i like this guy!

Ok but chenles parents are having him get married , and he doesent like the girl so he BEGS you to marry him promising you everything and you right then and there confess to him and you guys like kiss and get married before his parents have a chance to arrange smth with that girl.

“Please y/n….i’ll give you everything”

Park Jisung

╰┈➤ Red string au!ok so picture going on a cruise and meeting a boy that became your besfriend for five days and four nights!

You had his number but he never picked up

Well!imagine your surprise when you see the name park jisung on your university soccer team…surely its not that park jisung.

So as you get accustomed to everyone on the team , you start opening up about yourself especially when you became friends with jisung.

So imagine his surprise when you showed him a picture and he exclaims that it was him.

Then as you questioned him with an upset voice, he sheepishly asked for you to show him the piece if paper with the number.

The 6 was a 0!!

“What if we yknow…start from here”

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

[missmarveledsblog]

I gotcha cap (Steve Rogers x reader) part three

Summary: He needs to make it right but she isnt letting him even near her so he get help off of their friends .

warning : slight angst , fluffy , goofy , idiots in love , mutual pinning

previous part

the blinding sun that had instantly regretted not closing the blind before she hit went to bed. not knowing what hurt more was it her head that thump and felt like it was gonna explode . was it her pride on being stood up on her not date date . she may of snuck out of the room once was sure he was gone . headed to the living room , importantly using her ability to burn the lock off of the liquor cabinet. She didn't stay undetected for too long for Tony to come see what she was doing and then an hour later Natasha was joining them . Now she was sure her blood was more alcohol than it was actually blood, stumbling from her bed . Pulling the shades on her eyes she dragged herself from the bed , stumbling down the hall to the dinning room to see both Natasha and Tony in the same state as she was .

“ You're a bad influence” the billionaire groaned his head laying on the table .

“ I did not influence you , you asked me to pour you a glass” she yawned sitting down ignoring a certain pair of blue eyes looking at her .

“ yeah cause your were sad anyways let not do it again” he couldn't even look at her it was too much of an effort.

I guess it laps today, your new recruit huh ?” clint nudged Natasha making her growl at the man but then nod .

“ whos the new recruit “ she asked looking up finally a slight catching of steve glance forcing herself to look at nat.

“ that jessica chick right?” sam spoke up .

“ yeah i think and some drills too once i can just observe” nat gave a sneaky smirk.

“ well good luck .. i'm not so hungry “ she stood, taking a cup of coffee and rushing out of the room.

“ y/n hey wait please” steve called rushing after her.

“ just leave me alone steve , my head hurts and I think i might throw up so lets just pretend nothing happened ok … please” she sighed.

“ but i didn't mean to stand you up i would of never of did that , she turned off my phone and kept telling me i still had time even showed me hers so i trusted her word and now i fucked up honestly of all people to let down and hurt you are not even close to being one of them” .

“ you did though , you made me look like such an idiot , you made me think … look it doesn't matter, maybe in time we can be friends but can you just let me breathe to do so?” she almost pleaded.

“ i wanna make it up to you please give me a second chance , please all im asking “

“ no i don't think we should ” .

she spent the day staring at the computer , trying to work in the lab with the bright lights was a bad idea now she was in her office , the lights dimmed and although the hangover was dimming and some of nats “drills” training made her mood a lot better. the petty side of her enjoy the soft torture of the bitchy agent and it sure wiped the sneering smile off ofhier face . now what she didn’t expect was the widow coming to the office hours later pulling her out of the room and dressing her up , not saying a word the whole time other than “stop whining “ or “ no feeling sorry for yourself “. probably a girl dinner night or something to cheer her up . begrudgingly she just followed even in the car , they talked about everything but the friendly hostage situation til they pulled up to well nothing .

“ you planning on killing me because joke on you it mean i wont have to do my reports “ she smirked.

“ no im doing this because I love you and you need to be happy and Tony's liver would be grateful” the widow kissed her cheek and led her to a footpath . “ now its down here straight ahead” .

“ ok this is only fueling my fear of you trying to kill me romanoff , hey in a wooded area where i could leave all this evidence and you know …. nat ? “ she turned to see the widow gone completely. "So I am gonna die “ she groaned. ok so now she was maybe more curious just following the footpath til she noticed red. that had her on alert , into action as she stop her feet lighter moving , eyes darting around to access any threat. now she was slightly afraid the bew recruit was gonna be at the end of this footpath and she was gonna be an accessory to murder.

“ oh thank god “ the breath of relief as she notice it wasnt blood but petal followed by more til the whole footpath was covered in these red petals .

the whole thing only made sense once she reached the clearing and now maybe she would be the one to hide a few bodies now .

There he stood in the clearing around the man where lights wrapped around the beauty of nature . a picnic table in the center with the same lights wrapped around the legs , her favourite flowers in the center. She wanted to hide how impressed she was. For a moment it wouldn't seem possible til she straightened herself up , crossing her arms trying not to smile or give anything away . including how good the man looked before her, the white dress shirt and black pants combo making him look like he stepped out of some steamy romance novel , the way the material of his clothes clung to the muscle she's found herself literally drooling over.

“ Please sit down?” pleading tone as she rolled her eyes and stepped more into the clearing saw the scorched mark still prominent in the ground. it was first time she had shown them her abilities , the one she had to hide all her life in persecution .

“ What is all this?”.

“ I wanted to make it up to you .. with nat's help of course … please just one chance” he came closer .

“ You seem to making a lot of effort for a not date” she mused while looking around .

“ well let this actual date make up for it” .

“ is this because of the not drunk confession because a pity date isn't necessary” she huffed wondering how her week took such a nose dive.

it's not a pity date its an actual i like you too date and dont wanna screw up “

“ touch of kidnapping” she nodded, not hiding the smirk on her lips .

“ with a touch of kidnapping, “ he laughed.

“ Fine I yield mainly because i'm hungry and I thought nat was feeding me “ she watched him pulling out the basket pulling out the canister and the tupperware .

“ ok food might be cold “ he winced, opening the tubs and putting the contents on a plate .

“ i got it “ she rolled her eyes over the plates for a couple of seconds as steam began to bellow . “ it help when i was younger” she shrugged easily, handing him back one .

“ ok so canister has coffee or we have wine” .

“ coffee i don't think i could look at alcohol for a good while “ she laughed flashback of her and tony drinking games . “ So why here?” .

“ honestly it was the first place we got to see you for you , like the real you” her breath caught in her throat at his admission . “ you were so scared and so nervous but then you opened up , i always wondered why , why you were so scared”.

“ because i was taught to be , because the world taught me to be.. i mean unless you're an avenger or some high profiled hero , mutants or enhanced whatever you're side of that fence is, well it not something to celebrate it was and still is something people find to fear and with fear comes hate” she smiled sadly. “ my dad as crazy as he was , well he wasn't all wrong , we lived in chicago for a little until i thought my friend would accept me so i showed her what i could do and then that evening we had people yelling outside our home for the mutants to leave i was four when i learn what hate was truly and very real so when we moved to new york , my mom was chased down, hunted down and my dad began training soldiers for doomsday”.

“ that's why it took you so long to tell us you were enhanced” he asked not even noticing he grabbed her hand , the subconscious need to comfort the woman in front of him .

“ i know it's stupid to think giving wanda and pietro” she laughed. “ but yeah i think that fear or rejection was still there except tony stark lit up like a christmas tree at the sight” .

“ wheres your dad now? maybe you could show him its not like that now right”.

“ hes on the raft steve its still like that for him , i ran away i was maybe fourteen i didnt wanna live my life in fear and not live it at all “ she smiled sadly . “ great first kidnapping date content right here” she snorted .

“ we can talk about something else if you want,” he squeezed her hand .

“ no i mean i come to terms with it all , but i am curious why you didn't ask for me help?” .

“ honestly because you make me nervous , like when i talk to you suddenly i'm that small fry from brooklyn who couldn't look a dame in the eye and i mean you come into our lives with this air about you , this funny yet caring nature , you work hard to make sure everything run smoothly and you only one who can truly handle tony “ he smiled brightly.

“ pepper asked me for tips. Well, praise from the america's golden boy is nice. I must admit , I've learned to just be myself” her cheeks flushed.

“ also doesn't help that your most beautiful woman i've come across either, you must think i'm a dummy when i take to you because you make my brain short circuit by just smiling i mean the words just mix and melt together “ a braveness taking over like he couldn't stop, all the feelings that he held in for so long falling out of his mouth before he could stop .

“ you dont seem to have a problem with words now ? “ she giggled even freezing at the sound like was that her ?.

“well i guess i need to let it out now hopefully it will get you to forgive me, i only trained that agent hoping i could help and get over my nervousness because i was going to work up the courage to tell you how i really felt so i stupidly thought i could work through them by getting the blood pumping i didn't see the scheming part i guess i need lesson in people “ he grimaced .

“ Well I mean the food and coffee is working on the forgiveness so it this get up “ she mused hinting at his outfit making his cheeks flush . “ stand me up again date or not I will roast you up and serve you on that shield of , tony liver can't take it … apparently” she warned playfully .

“ well that wont happen and if i may say you look absolutely stunning “ he kissed her knuckles getting braver .

“ flattery will get you everywhere mr rogers but you can thank nat for this she literally dressed and dragged me here , im less mad at her for it “ .

She wasn't lying when she said that she was less pissed at him , conversation carried on more and more . she shared a little bit more of her childhood , the little handful of happy memories ,while he shared some of his from his childhood, a vast and different time . She couldn't help laughing thinking back to the hijinks that he and Bucky got up in that timezone . She asked him questions , getting to know the man behind the shield . Each minute , each hour passing by it was easier to get over that anger she felt but it also meant that he was getting braver , more flirty in his tone . Even when they finished their food he hit his phone as the speaker came to life . The blue jazz sound echoed in the woods . making the man stand before her holding his hand out that her . enjoying how perfect her hand fit in his , how his hand dwarfed hers . standing the crinkle of the foliage under their feet , his other hand on her hip pulling her closer. the swell of pride at her breath hitched at the bold movement . the sway of bodies to the rhythm and getting lost in the love story the song sang out. eyes locked pouring every unsaid emotion . he held her close in away that he was afraid to let her go, everything hes dreamed of was happening in real time. the first time he'd truly felt peace in the stormy war that was his life . the fist time it was serene that he could fully completely savour and enjoy the moment. his eye darted to her lips only to catch her doing the same, her tongue swiping the pillow plump soft lips . two leaning closer and closer til their foreheads pressed. a surge of bravery one he never felt before taking his hand off her hip and leading to cup her cheek , tilting her face up more before he leaned down .

At first it took her brain a second to recognise , to make the connection that captain Steven Grant Rogers was kissing her. not wasting another second she finally kissed the man back for the first time in a long time. It made sense . all the cliches from every romance book , rom com in existence, that foot popping , fire works going off kiss. seeing the sun rise and set for the first time kind of kiss. One that only starred in her dream and stopped when her alarm would go off. Everything felt electric in that one kiss , like nerves came alive ones she didn't even know she had . pulling back both needing air and yet he couldn't stop kissing her , pecking her lips in between breaths already addicted to her lip , to her taste .

“ god you don't know how long i wanted to do that “ he chuckled breathlessly, his forehead pressing against hers.

“ Don't worry I gotcha Cap “ she smirked pressing her lips to his once more

[elainsgirl]

Honey, e*riel has nothing like feysand or nessian. No threads connecting them like elucien. No musical connotations. They are all the same bonds but e*riel has no similarity and that’s. Not. Good. E*riels seem to think e*riel was always sjm’s plan and that’s clearly not true. Moriel was first, and sjm decided to copy moriel and e*riel for a reason.

The girls aren’t actually interested in him romantically and Azriel cares more about the bond than who it’s actually with. That’s why his shadows do the same thing with both girlies. 

Because the connections will amount to nothing in the end. 

Sjm decided to give him a special dynamic with a new girl. And the tension between Elain and Lucien is bound to snap because THAT is what’s been building for multiple books. 

The bonus was sjm’s way of saying Elain isn’t Azriel’s mate because his mate is legit living right under him and that’s probably why he’s so restless.

Sorry. 

*thread anon. Elucien have a single thread connecting them tied to Elains rib, which isnt the same as Nessian/Feysand.

Just racking my brain - What musical connections did Nessian have pre-acosf? also…book of breathings, “sing me” which is in reference to elriel so technically they do have foreshadowed musical imagery.

Well, I have never thought Elriel was alwys Sjms plan and I’ve been clear about that. It went from Moriel & Elucien being endgame -> elriel, Vassien and moriel.

Idk anon, Elain literally pivoted into Azriels touch. Gave him offer and permission, “put it on me?”. She actually observed and paid attention to him and got two gifts that has made him laugh, one he stares at every single night. That is the definition of romantic interest. Which you wouldn’t know about since your ships dont have such a thing, maybe stop projecting? Unlike Mor, Elain didnt reject Azriel.

lets apply a bit of logic - Stay with me now…If Az cares about the bond so much why on earth has he falled for someone who he cannot have a bond with? Doesn’t make sense, does it now? If he cared about having a mate so much, he would still be into Mor who he has a chance of being his mate.

Or hear me out - His shadows which are simply a safety mechanism, there to protect him - trust Elain so much they know they don’t have to protect Az around her or be there. When Az feels good emotions -> shadow lightens. Negative emotions-> shadows darken. Its quite simple really.

what special dynamic? What is so unique about Gwyn that makes her stand out from Azriels other Lis? The same Gwyn he wouldnt consider a friend, the same woman he left for 2 years without visiting once.

Yh the only tension between elucien is awkwardness. And it isn’t “snapping” anytime soon bcs there isn’t build up for it. When they’re on the same page together, it isn’t a “oooh will they wont they…ommmggg they brushed hands…ahhh they had prolonged eye contact!!!” Sort of tension more like a “im going to skip this part bcs its so embarrassing and awkward to read”

that’s embarrassing for Gwyn, her mate is upstairs fantasising about another woman. Whilst Gwyn isn’t even on his mind….yikes

[whole-circus]

I was wondering if you'd put your depiction on the creepypastas if the reader was a Tomie Kawakami like entity. I don't know if you have ever read or seen this character by Junji Ito or not so only do this if you're comfy

PS: have good day, hydrate and rest °v°

Creepypastas with Tomie Kawakami like!

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, Eyeless Jack, "Ticci" Toby, BEN Drowned, X-Virus

Hi! I just LOVE that idea!! I must say I enjoy reading Junji Ito's works (even if Tomie wasnt my fav)! Here you go hun, if you want some other characters feel free to say! >:3 Good day for you too, take care! Also you waited so long im sorry, I had to made small break and now I feel like my "work" is shitty!!!!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

Jeff the Killer

Okay I feel like at first Jeff would pretend that he is not into you..who knows why? His own deep insecurities? Or he just doesnt like the idea of how flirty you are? You know, he usually is the one making first move and toying with others (making them obv uncomfy, he act like definition of "white straight good guy" lol). But no worries, he does find you absolutely cute, thinks you are prettiest person walking on earth (and you are all that actually). Listen, he wont magically turn into huge simp..but! you make him feel things. Congrats, you have high chance to broke Jeff and make him lovely-dovely on his weird way towards you! No matter if you are already in relationship with him or not, he gest pretty possesive and jealous over you! Come on, you cant be all pretty and cute AND have everyone all over you! People who adores you might end up dead before you will be able to kill them. Definitely would try threaten people to stop talking to you..its up to you if you find it cute or scary tho!

Jane the Killer

Jane gives me huge femme fatale vibes so i feel like you would really vibe together (no matter your gender)! And come on!! She understands the need of revenge like no one else!! Jane wants to beat Jeff ass! Adores you so much..not only you are absolutely gorgeous but also pretty smart too! Appearance matter in some way to her, but I think she would actually be into intelect and personality more than how you look like. And the fact that you are such a great manipulator!! You will make her fall in love with you even more. She is such a cutie im telling you! Jane is jealous but she puts that aside all that aside and she just worries about your yeah well technically you cant die, but what damage your brain will damage your brain and stay for long time! She doesnt want you to get hurt, even if you are doing the big scary job here!

Eyeless Jack

Demon partner with demonish partner? Isnt that perfect? Yeah yeah, you are diffrent from eachother but definitely have common ground, arent you? Dunno why but I feel like your charm wouldnt work on him just becasue of what he is. That doesnt mean that he doesnt find your ass cute tho! He just you know..its not really obsessive but more of actual feelings. Even if other pastas fell in love with your character too, then Jack would be a bit diffrent and at first fell for who you are and not what you look like! When it comes to possible of jealousity, he is not that much of envious about people who you flirt with/or they flirt with you! He clearly understands that you do it more for your..entertainment and to cause chaos (and maybe some sort of revenge). Also he is immortal, you are immortal - best couple to ever exist! You will spend eternity with eachother so he doesnt have anything to worry about!

"Ticci" Toby

Damn reader, you will break Toby! He gets so shy and so blushy around you.. Especially if you are flirting with him! Doesnt really like the idea of you and other people being a bit flirty. He gets jealous easly and it leads him to being insecure and doubtful of himself - he knows that he is not perfect, and all your actions make him even more anxious. Toby does care so much about your opinion so he just bottles it all up, not wanting to mess up even more! But I bet you are smart human being and feel that something is wrong. Just reassure him that you love him a lot and he is way diffrent than people you talk to (well, he is in fact atill alive, isnt he) and he is good to go!

BEN Drowned

Ben is Ben, not a simple thought in his head. Yeah kidding, but he just cant help but simp over you so so much! Like he is down on his knees at your service the second he sees you! Dont get me wrong, you are not only what you look like but its the first thing he notices about you! It would be almost too easy to manipulate him, but we dont do that here..(at least I hope so). Anyway, he literally worships you, you are the most good-looking person out here! And he is a ghost, he has seen a lot. About your habit of flirting around and then watchin somebodys downfall? I cant say he is not jealous, but he wont show it. Also finds your actions pretty funny. Who doest like to see someone dying becasue of their stupidy? Yeah, definitely not Ben, loves the chaos you cause.

X-Virus

Cody enjoyes how flirty you are! Okay well, maybe he only enjoys that if you are flirty with him! For real, you get him all giggly and blushy to be honest. Its so easy to tease him and so fun to look at! Propably tries his best to do the same but fails miserably. Your relationship give me a bit of nerd x popular partner vibe lol! You know, he literally spends half of his time in lab or studying for fun + Cody propably stinks. Now here you are, having such a mesmerizing appearance!! (You are fun to be around to, lets not be so vain!) . At the same time he asks many question, its just in his nature to enjoy knowing things. He just cant help but wonder what or who are you..but who wouldnt want to know that?..And please try to get idea of testing you or making small experiments out of his small silly head!! He is weirdo like that! But at the end of a day he is your weirdo!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

[iouinotes]

Heroic love (part 4) | Luke Castellan

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: betrayal, dark romance, no verbal consent, angst, smut MINORS DONT INTERACTE

summary: Luke finds out your plan and you give in. After all, it is better to be with him than with the monsters that suround you.

authors note: The reader joins Luke rather unwillingly, even though she still loves him. I just want to say up front that Luke's threat at the end is not meant serious. He would never do something like that to her. He only does it so that she realizes that there is no other way than to join him. If it's too dark, I'm sorry... @qwertydddddddddd wanted to be tagged, so I hope you enjoy it <33

Sometimes you think to yourself, this is real love. I'm gonna marry this person. I will spend my life with them, building a home and a family.

Well thats the regular scenario, I mean for the people who are regular. Not demigods.

And you see, even though we dont have an easy life, fighting monsters, losing friends, being scared and anxious all the time, that some bad evil guy suddenly wants to rule the world- we live. Because we have to and because we have each other.

So, for me, I was prepared for it to become harsh. I always knew my life would be like sitting on a rollercoaster, never having the chance to exit.

But I found comfort in this reality. I would imagine being on this attraction, but holding onto something that grounds me. Someone that gives me strengh, so I don't lose myself.

For a long time, I held hands with Luke.

Then of course, something did go terrible wrong, as if they goddess Aphrodite wanted to watch an exciting, action packed romance movie, with the plot twist of I-hate-to-love-you-because-you-left-me trope. Something like this.

Well, I think the movie sucks. In the last months, everything was just not right- Luke leaving camp to join Kronos? Betraying everyone and kidnapping me? Showing up here, messing with me and then holding my own dagger to my throat? (Deja vu)

No, that just isnt what I Imagined to happen in the future. I didnt want my boyfriend to turn into the bad guy, who we swore to fight.

But now I guess, thats up to me. At least some part of it.

"I think Luke ist turning into Darth Vader." Sometimes I'm not sure whats going on in Percys head.

"I never heard of this monster?" Annabeths parents are so wrong for not watching Star Wars with her.

"Guys, after we discussed this, you can have your movie night. But please, let's focus." My voice sounds harsher than I intended, so I immediately feel bad about it.

"Sorry, it's just very complicated. I want to know what our next steps are, what we are planning to do with this- situation." I don't know how else to call it.

"We need information. Who is the spy? What are Kronos plans? Where will he attack? Who joined him? So many unanwered questions." Chirons voice sends a shiver down my neck. He's right, but how do we achieve it?

Percys gaze unnerves me and when I turn my head to meet his eyes, he immediately shakes his head.

"I am not letting you alone with him this time. Nope." I sign, conflicted how I would want to deal with this.

All eyes are on me and when I turn to them, I try to explain my plan. But I cant even finish my second sentence and already everyone seems to be against it.

"We cant let him out!"

"He will kill us!"

"His army is already searching for him, he would escape!"

Annabeth raises her hand and the voices calm down. As she looks at me, I sense her own doubts about the situation.

"They are right. How do you know he would trust you? Could you convince him?"

I nod my head, ignoring my doubts.

"I can."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

The moon shines beautifully in the sky, but it helps nothing to calm down my nerves. Im so stupid, why did I thought I could pull this off?

"Youre sure, you want to do this? You dont have to." Percy's standing next me, as always trying to comfort me.

"He will believe me. I always had dreams, where I thought he-" I need a moment to finish my sentence.

"-died. That he got hurt or is in pain. When I had this sort of dream, I would always sneak out of my cabin and came to him. I would walk into his cabin and he somehow always knew what happend. He would tuck me in his bed, letting me cry and cuddling me. Resurring me that everything is going to be okay, that he will live. That was always my biggest fear, that he would die and I would be helpless to do anything against it. He knows that."

We stand in silence for a moment.

"If you need me, I will be there. Just be careful." I smile at him.

I take a deep breath and go trough the doors, seeing that the only light he has, is a small lamp on the ceiling. I quicken my pace so he can hear me coming. When I stand in front of his cell, he is already on his feet. He looks alarmed.

"What-" his t-shirt is wrinkled and his eyes are sleepy. My breath catches and I don't even have to pretend to be confused and afraid, standing in front of him alone in the dark is enough.

The bars are the only thing that separates us.

At first I don't say anything, I just look at him with watery eyes. And just like I said, he knows it. He always knows.

"Another nightmare?" His voice is so gentle, it makes me remember the old days when everything was good. When he took me in his arms and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I just nod, I don't think my voice is stable enough yet.

I have to play the role, I can do it. He has to believe me.

I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands, all the despair and pain I've been carrying for weeks suddenly coming out of me. I'm crying so hard that I'm almost afraid of waking up the others.

"Shit, princess- what can I do? Let me help, please." He sounds so desperate and it's only now that I realize, that I don't actually have to act. Because my tears are real.

"Y-you ruined everything! And I'm still s-so scared that something h-happens to you" I meet his gaze and see the remorse in his eyes. His heart hurts too.

"I didn't want something like that to happen- please, darling. Come here." Sniffling, I stand up. My knees feeling weak and unsteady. If I go in there now, I won't be able to defend myself properly.

“You hurt me, I shouldn’t even be here. You're an idiot, Luke. I hate-" but I can't bring myself to say it. I cant say that I hate him. Because I don't, at least not yet.

"I know, believe me. I hate myself too. Only your belief in me has always held me together." He grips the bars, I see the inner conflict within him.

"But you won't change. You've never been able to do that well." I know I'm right and he knows it too. Silence surrounds us.

"Let me hold you. Just for- a few minutes. Please. I can't stand seeing you like this. You've always been the sunshine in my life. I don't want my sun to be obscured."

The key jingles in my hand and I look at it uncertainly.

"I won't hurt you, never again, I promise. I also got an anklet. I can't escape." His eyes look so honest. I'm feeling nervous, my heart is beating way too fast.

I put the key in the lock and open the door, freezing in my movements for a moment. What am I doing here? But then I hear his voice and I know why.

“It’s not that comfortable on the floor, but you can sit on my lap." I close the door.

As I move towards him I see how thin he has become and how brown his eyes still are.

Slowly, he raises his hands and when I stand in front of him he puts them around my waist. My knees buckle and I sink carefully onto his lap. My hands rest uncertainly on his shoulders, then moving down to his neck. Playing with the strands of his hair, lost in thoughts.

His face is right in front of mine, both of our breaths are uneven. His hands linger on me, holding me tight to him. Warmth fills my chest as I look into his eyes.

"You're so beautiful. So, so beautiful." A sob tries to escape me, as I do something, I always loved. I put my head in the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around him.

He holds me for a few minutes, stroking my back and whispering soothing, sweet nothings in my ear.

Once I've calmed down, I'm basically lying on top of him and can hear his heartbeat. It's almost soporific.

"Luke?" my voice is calm.

His head turns to me. "Yes?"

"I...I want to be with you. I don't care how or- or where. I just know that I can't live without you." I see his eyebrows furrow.

"You dont mean-" I am silent. Just looking at him, sitting up a little, straddling him.

"I need you. I tried not to need you. But it's out of my control, nothing helps to ease the pain. Only you, only you matter."

Is it the truth if the words escape me so easily?

His hand finds my cheek and I lean into his touch.

"We're the only ones that matter. We will get through this, together and united. You don't have to fight my darling, you just have to be by my side." His hand around my waist pulls me towards him, the other one, he continues to lay on my cheek. Caressing the skin, drawing invisible heart-shapes.

Then his lips meet mine and my eyes flutter shut. The kiss so intoxicating, that I forget for a moment my real intention. Forget why I'm participating in this madness.

As he pulls away from me, I hear his whispering voice.

"You won't betray me, right? You won't do that to me?" He tugs on my hair, ever so slightly, to get my attention.

"No, Luke. I won't." Lie.

The key in my hand is no longer idle as I remove his shackles carefully.

"Then princess, let's get out of here." I slowly get off his lap, but before I stand up, he lifts me up in his arms.

"I promise you that I will never hurt you again. You deserve only the best." As cliche as it is, he carries me out of the cell, which isnt locked anymore.

He lets me down outside and breathes in the fresh air. It's still night, maybe 4 a.m. Everything is quiet.

His hands cup my face and place several kisses on my skin.

"You are incredible, I knew you would join me. For real this time." He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. I don't see Percy anywhere.

"Let's go. I know where my troops are stationed. Nobody will notice that we're gone until it's too late."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

Joining Kronos' army was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and that includes keeping the truth from Luke.

That I'm a spy for the camp, better hidden than anyone else ever could. No one would accuse or suspect the leader's girlfriend, because everyone can see how much I love him.

After all, it's the only reason I'm tolerated here. Because Luke would kill anyone who even came near me. He has already done it to a dragon lady who was too pushy and even when I tried to stop him, he showed no mercy.

Because he can't afford to do that, if he shows that he has a heart, it will be taken away from him.

Every day it is torture to witness this evil, to help maintain cover, to save my friends.

And every day I feel worse, because I lie to Luke. But it is the only way. I cannot help in the camp, if my heart is somewhere else. Here, with him, my thoughts are not always here, but my heart is.

At least it's enough for me to function. When Luke isn't distracting me.

When I wake up that morning on the Princess Andromeda, it is still quiet. In the presence of these monsters, I have not been able to sleep well for months. Even the dreams I have, make me wake up in the middle of the night and the only thing that calms me down is Luke's touch.

His fingers gently stroke my exposed skin, and as I turn my head and look at him, I see an emotion in his eyes, I've only recently noticed. There is a desire in his gaze, as if he wanted to consume my entire being, to have me just for himself.

My voice, my body, my thoughts, my feelings. Simply everything. He wants it all to be his.

"I wish I could erase every bad dream you have and send whoever is responsible for it to burn in hell. It should scare me that you make me think like that, but if I'm honest, it doesn't. Are you scared?" His eyes look into mine.

Slowly, my fingers intertwine with his. "Not when you're with me."

The next thing I notice is his lips on mine. The way his hands grip my hips and pull me onto him.

He leans towards me, his lips caress my ears and I hear his whispering voice. "Every day I hear one my followers talking about you. That they want to have you, to decorate your beautiful body with scars, with their initials." I freeze at his words, wanting to pull away and look at him, but he holds me tight. Makes me continue to listen to his voice.

"They want to see you bleed, to alternate between pain and pleasure when they push their cocks into you. Do you like that? That you are so desired? That you turn everyone's heads, when you go by and they start wanting to see my head roll? To get close to you, huh?" I want to shake my own head, but he holds me even tighter.

"Do you know how hard it is not to execute every single one of them? Do you know that? I would, if I could. I would kill every single one of them, in front of you, so that everyone knows that you belong to me. Do you understand? No one will speak to you anymore, because your voice is mine. No one will look at you, because your sight is mine. You keep your hands to yourself, no more help with injuries, I don't care if they die. Your hands only touch me."

As I start to sqirm, he leans back, keeping his hands on my hips until a finger strokes my cheek.

"No one will ever kiss you except me. And anyone who even thinks about fucking you, I will let die in battle. You may think my loyalty is to Kronos, but it is to you. My beautiful girl. Now think carefully about who you are pledging your loyalty to."

When his eyes look into mine, I fall silent. Then, even though I try not to, my voice trembles.

"What do you mean? I'm loyal to you, Luke."

His hands caress my skin, examining how the sun shines on me. I'm only wearing one of his T-shirts and my panties. His hands, stroke my bare thighs.

His eyebrows rise, slowly his fingers wrap around my panties, pulling them down until I am revealed to him. My heart is pounding so loudly in my chest, that it feels like it's about to give up. I hold my breath as he places the tip of his cock at my entrance.

What am I doing here?

"I think you're not being completely honest with me, princess. Let's try again. Who are you loyal to?" As he slowly enters me and his hands hold my hips, I moan. I lay my head back for a moment and enjoy the stretch, feeling his hands slide under my shirt and stroke over my stomach, to my breasts and to my neck.

"Luke, what's going on? I'm here with you, I'm-" But I can't finish my sentence as he plunges into me with a violent jerk, right up to the edge. My eyes roll back.

"These sweet lies that come from your lips. Of course you are here physically, but with the mind? Oh no, while I fuck you, your thoughts are on Camp Halfblood. On Jackson. Can you believe it?" His hands push my hips down until I am connected directly to him and can feel every inch inside me. I almost melt as one of his hands presses into my lower back and I move even closer to him.

When I try to answer him, my voice is a mixture of horror and pleasure. "Luke, that's not true. I only want you, I'm on your side- ahh-" Faster than I can react, he thrusts into me. Once, twice. So hard and ruthless that he hits the spot inside me, that makes me see stars. I can't concentrate.

"How I wish you would tell the truth. There's nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart. Admit it, I already know. My girlfriend is the traitor. Behind my back, she talks to the person I hate the most and yet, she sits on my lap and rides my cock. What would Percy say about that?"

His hand wraps around my neck and holds me tight, his hips keep pounding into me and even though my brain tells me to stop, my guard is down. I want this.

"How-" But when I want to ask, he pushes me onto him again. So fast, too hard, it almost hurts, but it also feels so good.

"I have my eyes everywhere. It took me a while to figure out how to deal with it, how to deal with you. But I found a good solution. After all, Percy lets you be here, without cover, without protection. Hoping I wouldn't find out that you were passing on information. That I wouldn't hurt you."

His last sentence makes me tense up, but even though his face twists in amusement for a brief moment, he doesn't stop talking.

"Your pussy won't save you either. And since I have given you my word, I will not harm you. I found a better punishment. A choice."

He suddenly stops moving and I almost cry, wanting to move myself, but he takes my face in his hand, tightly. Focusing all attention on him.

"Either you stop your underhanded loyalty to Jackson immediately and serve me, or I will make the wishes of everyone behind this door come true and you will be used like a beautiful, little doll. From each one of them, I assure you. But after that, you won't be so beautiful anymore."

Tears well up my eyes, whether it's from the tight grip he's holding on me or from his words, I can't tell. And I'm scared, it feels like I'm being buried alive. With no prospect of ever being able to breathe or be free again.

Without me saying anything, he starts moving inside me again, letting my hips sink onto his. I breathe in loudly.

"Come on, move. Your choice. It's either my cock or anyone else's."

When I look at him, the person I once loved has disappeared. It's like looking at a stranger.

My heart feels like it's been stolen and in the back of my mind I realize, that I should have never gone with him.

But then I close my eyes, put my hands on his shoulders for support and sink down onto him. Again and again, even stronger. Until my thighs shake and tears run down my cheeks. Until I hear Luke's quiet voice again.

"If you think you are strong enough to be like me, treacherous, cold-hearted and ruthless, then I have to disappoint you. Your heart will be soft forever unless the world hardens it. I will protect you for that, princess. Forget camp halfblood, you only serve me now."

His lips are hot on my skin, a strong contrast to my heart, which feels like it's made of ice.

And when I receive the next secret sign from Annabeth a few days later, I ignore it.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 30 SEASON FINALE REACTION (SPOILERS)

OH MY GOD IM IN CLASS OK HERE WE GO READING THE TRANSCRIPT I'LL LISTEN LATER

i hate the episode name btw

SAM YOU FUCKING IDIOT SHE'S NOT ANGRY YOU'RE IN DANGER YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER AAAAAAAA YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED (also the transcript saying he sounds "ill" i don't like that)

"alice means well but she doesnt really understand" oi celia what do you mean she doesn't understand she got attacked by the same thing sam did

"my head is killing me" i dont think this is a normal headache ALSO IM SO SUSPICIOUS DONT TAKE THE PILLS SAMAMA KHALID COME ON

"all goes to plan" WHAT CELIA WHAT (they say like they're surprised that she's sus)

"ticket officer, not paid enough for this" NONE OF US ARE BUDDY

oh jesus christ colin is gonna end up dead isnt he. and possibly teddy too. both of them acted the same way based on alice saying she was busy

waiy. colin is in the office, but lena and gwen are in the office too?? also lena is gonna end up dead and gwen is gonna feel guilty isn't she

OH NEVER MIND. GWEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET FUCKED. I REALLY HOPE LENA GETS TO GO HOME TO HER SPOUSE AND GOES "yeah fuck THAT I'm glad I'm out of there"

wait they KNOW it was one the train??? wtf???? and why is celia so calm about this

"what unit did you say it was?" "Seventeen-" SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE-sorry I'm coping with jeonghan's enlistment date okay

CELIA WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALL IT A HUNCH. GIRL ARE YOU SERVING THE EYE?????

"we want your teeth" JARED HOPWORTH??? IS THAT YOU????

now who the FUCK is this custodian hold on checking the VA list-ok nvm not breekon or hope i was wondering bc. yknow. custodian. maybe a reference

this custodian is so real he's like "yeah no this ain't any of my business you do you boo"

LMFAOOO THE TAXI DRIVER THINKING SAM IS CHEATING ON ALICE WITH CELIA AND THAT SHE'S GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH

THE CUSTODIAN JUST YELLING "SHUT UP" IS TAKING ME OUT OH MY GOD AND THE KNOCKING ACTUALLY STOPS

get archivisted bro

oooo okay so hilltop centre got a bloody history. but also who is this "he" that hired the custodian? also the fact that he refuses to come in the daytime is very interesting because usually people would find it less creepy at daytime but he seems to be more comfortable at night?? which is giving the dark but ok

poeple ARRIVED???? NO WAY THEY CONFIRMING THE CRACK AT HILLTOP ROAD CONNECTS HERE ALONG WITH MOST PROBABLY OTHER UNIVERSES

"why the outfit was so mismatched, why the clothes were been pinned in place" okay this is kind of reminded me of the stranger for no particular reason????

OH THE FUCKING OWNER DIED OKAY

SORRY AS HE TURNS TO CONCRETE?????? WHAT????

a precipice????? sorry is there a whole-ass different world??? also celia wtf do you mean "almost"??? yeah sam its about time you asked her more questions

Sam's headache is not comforting me i don't think its normal WOOOOOO CONFIRMATION THE UNIVERSE-JUMPER CELIA

ahhh there it is. she was using him as a balance because she hoped getting him close enough to the magnus institute would make him enough a balance.

IS THE ARCHIVIST STOPPING HER???? ALSO SAM WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU JUST TELLING HER TO DO IT????

god sam you fucking idiot i love you. she betrayed you and lied to you and yet you still fought the archivist for her. also alice coming here worries me because i think she has a close connection to the magnus institute too and she might get sacrificed

NOT AGAIN???? OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS DIE IN HILLTOP ROAD?????

gwen you're gonna get yourself and everyone killed oh my god

...see i dont know if i trust that now. i know celia hesitated but who's to say she wouldn't take the opportunity to push sam? or even not done anything when she had the chance to save him? i mean...i guess she did say "even though..."

MAN. SAM. I KNEW YOU WERE PROBABLY GONNA DIE FIRST BUT DAMN. STUPID MAN. I LOVE YOU.

i dont think sam is dead i mean celia fell through the rift and lived, who's to say sam couldn't do the same? the question is, which universe did he fall into? and will celia tell alice the truth about what she was planning?

mainly, though, i need to know whats going on with colin because WHAT DID HE MEAN WITH FR3DD1 WHAT HAPPENED. AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TEDDY.

[flemlem]

okay so. warning, this is Long (for me anyway) and kind of unfinished? unpolished? its 1am and i am having Thoughts.

Little analysis of qTubbo and Morning Crew because ive been seeing a lotta opinions and I wish to add My Own into the Melting Pot.(I may get off track, im sorry, im incoherent at all times, thats why my posts are so short.)(also all characters just in case)

So first of all, Im putting it out there. Fit and Pac still care about Tubbo. From an outside view, from the audience, we can clearly see that. Unfortunately for us, Tubbo is infact not acting with the same knowledge in mind.

As far as Tubbo is aware they are going to move on without him. They have eachother now they dont need him anymore

With him and Fits relationship We can see that the jokes are banter and just silly, even if ill timed, but how was fit supposed to know that. We see this moment kinda throw tubbo back into 'I have to be worth something, because why would anyone Actually want to team with me if i cant give them something, if I cant make up for being Me '. He starts being more reckless about wanting create back, not really caring to try get out of the cage, even though he probably could of glitch blocked up there at the start.

Ive also seen people mention the fact that Fit 'told him he was family'. Now please genuinely correct me if im wrong. Fit only told Sunny she was family("Youre family"). Sure, he was Right There, but we know that tubbo sees Sunny as more important than him, its totally plausible that Tubbo thought that that wouldn't include him. Its never specified that that was directed at more than just Sunny (out loud), Tubbo also didn't know what sunny wrote (as far as im aware).

I had a whole paragraph on Pac too but it got too messy to salvage, maybe another day.

Tubbo has always been slightly weird about his place in Morning Crew, especially since it started "becoming an isocoles triangle". Im not sure if im more on the side of hes trying to push them away before they get the chance to to save himself the heartache, or if he's trying to show them how much they need him like a 'look at how weird it is when im not there At All. Look at my Cool Town with Foolish and Not you. Please need me still'.

Im Most on the side of him distancing himself, not to save himself the pain(maybe still slightly), not to try get them to come Get Him Back, but to almost hint at them that they Can move away from him. Trying to show them that he does have Other People they dont Need to be around him if they dont want to. The thing about this that isnt working is that Fit and Pac Do still want to be around him.

TLDR: Fit and Pac still care, but no matter how obvious, q!tubbo is mentally ill and has convinced himself that since they got together he is becoming Less and Less important, only catastrophising further at each thing that could be taken as cold even when theyre not.

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[absent-jonas]

SOME ANGST OF REAGAN BRETT AND BREAGAN TOGETHER, is it my headcanon? Mmmmm

tw- slightly mentioned hurting oneself/overdosing

Reagan- (depends on which part it is)

She would definitely be very much more reckless, more pushing herself like she did in episode one. Staying awake, forcing herself to solve problems. Who cares she's Reagan fucking Ridley, running this company and she's on her business. She's isn't gonna stop, if Brett isnt there then there isn't a stop to her.

Would inflict some self injury in a way, like she would bite the inside of her cheek or even pinch to her arm if she got something wrong

She would absolutely overdose on pills. She didn't mean to, but when she woke up on the hospital bed. She felt some sort of relief, wanting that chase.

Brett-

He hates the fact that Reagan had gotten more reckless, pushing herself away from him, and the ache he has in his heart is getting larger each time

He definitely would see the signs of her injuring herself and definitely pushing himself to be there for her. Reagan doesn't like it from the outside but is deeply grateful for him.

Whenever he found out she overdosed, he went to the hospital and stayed the night with her. He was just looking at with sad puppy eyes, reading her stories and just holding her hand, begging to wake up. He was just there, really to give her moral support, and ended up sitting next to her bed waiting for her to wake up.

Breagan-

They hurt each other the same amount they help each other, and take a little while to really become a couple. Or well establish what is good for both of them, though both sorta have a strange boundaries.

Brett does get hurt or possibly jealous of her working so often. It makes her feel like her priorities aren't him anymore. Going home and crying in the shower while the warm water is pouring on him. Imagine it's Reagan holding him or cleaning him.

Reagan feels bad about it, but she has her chance, she can make it up to him later right? Though shes awake at night from time to time thinking how he deserves so much better, and just ends up making him small trinkets.

SORRY IF THIS IS SHIT, IM NOT REALLY GOOD at making angst IM NOT SURE IF THIS IS OKAY PLEASE DO TELL ME IF ITS SHIT

[pebiejeebies]

Uhh weird chat abt why I think nickel’s apology was sketchy

NICKEL.. wasn’t the one who said sorry.

AND BEFORE YOU SCREAM AT MY FACE ANYTHING LET ME SPEAK!! I HAVE A REASON!

let’s talk about clover.

remember an/some episode(s) ago when nickel went on a therapy session with clover? Right?

she told him to rethink his whole life right??

NICKEL DIDNT RETHINK HIS LIFE. CLOVER DID.

It was all clover. Think about it

she’s lucky. She gets whatever she wants because of it too.

if she WANTS nickel to be friends with balloon, she will WISH that he becomes friends with him.

WHICH MEANS. there’s a high chance this whole apology was all just clover’s luck

we’ve seen how that stupid box was forced to do something it mentally/physically couldn’t. And it ended up doing what clover wanted (or at least keep her safe)

think about it. One episode, therapy with clover, next episode? Magically becomes the most nicest man ever and supports balloon while giving him his own space.

His apology felt so off, at first I was like YOOOO NICKLOON!! But in reality it was all clover, it’s just so off to me man.. maybe I just hate nickel or smth

But really think about it, there’s no way ANY person or object would do a full mental switch up THIS EASILY?! I took YEARS to stop abusing my sisters mentally and physically. There’s no way a fucking month will change him this quick. TRUST. ME.

I was as horrible as nickel and even worse too, it took years of struggle and patience to obtain what I have today! But nickel? NICKEL? NICKEL?!?! makes the luck do it all for him.

and that made me so fucking angry. you made me question myself and why I took so long to change, you are making other people think change is THAT EASY. you PEICE OF SHIT. (Not you dw, I mean AE)

Literally to the point I feel like nickel was like some sort of puppet or smth

Clover: do this

Nickel: alright

AND EVEN WHEN HE DOES IT ISNT EVEN HIS FUCKING CHOICE. IT ISNT. ITS HER LUCK. NOT NICKEL. now nickel feels like he fucking achieved something, when it was all clover.

LIKE COME ON. you made the fandom happy over something that could potentially be a lie?? There’s no way he magically becomes all cute and sweet and STAYS like that after her luck goes away. There’s just no way.

and ofc it had to be clover, it was all just to say “Oh he changed so quick because of—“ EXACTLY. they are cowards. they don’t wanna make the character slowly struggle and try to get better

they wanna get to the point and that’s it

so everyone goes WOAHHHH NICKLOON!! YAYY!! (no hate to the nickloon shippers btw) without taking so long, because they don’t know how to write any characters without some big flaw

So let’s just make clover “help” him!! Cause she’s lucky!! Yay!! And he can just change in a day or two!1 YAYY!!!/s

HERES ANOTHER POINT TOO. SHE CAME OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE IN THAT EPISODE. “oh I just wanted to be a detective” yeah sure ae. Sureee… sure thing mf. Just solve one fucking word puzzle game and call yourself a detective. Idiots. (Again, pointed towards ae)

take a moment and think about this. Because maybe I’m just wrong, I’m usually wrong anyways. I just need to know I can’t be the only one who thinks that clover was the one who apologized, not nickel.

But for once I feel like I’m right about this, and if I am.. AE im fucking onto you. You fucking cowards.

(and before you ask, no. I’m not okay. I hate how they made me question myself. And I hate how they’re saying it’s so easy to change, and I hate how they’re so lazy about someone’s personality shift)

I don’t hate the animators. I don’t hate the storyboarders, I don’t hate the voice actors, I don’t hate ANYONE in ae. EXCEPT these fucking writers. There are so many better writers out there with ACTUAL ideas and ACTUAL talent, and experience and so much more about life and personality.

even I can write better characters without even planning it out. Imagine. Skill issue fr.

Please note that this isn’t targeted to you either, your opinion on this is valid, so is mine. Let’s keep this chat friendly though.

[miowritings]

Zzz..

An shiraishi, ena shinonome, rui kamishiro x gn! Sleepy! Reader

A/N: OMG ITS THE ONE AND ONLY!! IM SOOSOSOSO HAPPY YOU REQUESTED!! SORRY I DIDNT REPLY I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE DRAFT WITH YOUR COMMENT ON ACCIDENT😭 luckily i took a screenshot enjoy🩷!!

An shiraishi

໒꒱is probably impressed by how easily you can fall asleep, one second ago you were talking and now you're snoring..

໒꒱She would probably take out her phone and take pictures of you, to tease you when you wake up, but if she isnt in the teasing mood she'll play with your hair, would even humm your favorite songs

໒꒱would try to be quiet as much as possible to not wake you up, if you did wake up she'll feel very guilty and would try to make you fall asleep again.

˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .lil story.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁*

It was a normal afternoon at weekend garage, you and an both chat about gossips and about your life, everything was going well.. until you started feelling sleepy.. you tried to figh your eyes to stay up but it wouldnt, it would be rude to just fall asleep when your friend is talking

"One sec, ill go get us some water!" An hurries off and grabs a water pitcher and pours some water on two glass for you both, when she came back she found you fast asleep, resting your head on the table, an chuckles and places the glass gently onto the tabe, then sat beside you

"Asleep already?" She chuckles at herself then brushes your hair with her hand gently as not to wake you up, she continued brushing your hair until she heard you groan. She then stops brushing your hair afraid that it might wake you up "continue.." you mumbled, an paused for a moment, then smiled and continued brushing your hair "youre even greedy when your asleep.." she teased

Rui kamishiro

꩜if he sees you sleeping in any place thats not a bed he would carry you and place you on a more suitable area

꩜is very very quiet, when he sees you sleeping, he would put a blanket over you just to keep you warm

꩜if you do happen to fall asleep on him he'll smile to himself, despite looking calm hes screaming eternally inside, giggling and blushing he just cant wait to tell you about this when you wake up

꩜would tease you when youre finally awake, showing you his gallery which is just pictures of you sleeping, he would edit some of the picture and doodle them or add a sticker, "y/n~~ look its a beautiful picture of you~~" he cooes showing you an edited picture of you sleeping

˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .lil story.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁*

You recently found yourself tutoring your classmate, you didnt know how you got into this and wanted to escape fast it was soo tiring to tutor him, he always answered with the most stupidest responses, not knowing he was only doing this just to spend more time with you♡

You sighed under your breath, at this point you already give up "i give up.." you mutter, rui looks over at you and pleads dramatically "ehhhh.. why? Dont give up on mee.. pleasee? Lets just take a break!" He suggested You groaned and decided to give him a chance. "Fine, but we're not taking any breaks until you learn a thing or two got it?" Rui quickly nodded with a smile

"this separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity. Im giving you three minutes to answer." You said sternly, rui knew the answer to this ofcourse but.. he decided to play dumb for a while.. "hmm... hmmmm.." he thinks while making some humming noise while doing so he suddenly stops when he felt someones head on his shoulder.

"y/n..?" He added, he was about to wake you up but he saw the peacefulness in your face, he didnt wanna ruin your sleep! After all it was his fault you got tired.. He continued sitting there, his hands shaking like crazy, trying to sit still but he cant.. not when someones head is in his shoulder, its not just someone, its his crush.. rui then grabs the blanket from the floor then wraps it around the both of you

"told you we should take a break.." he teases, he then chuckles at himself "have a good rest y/n.." he says before slowly drifting to joining you in your sleep.

Ena shinonome

✿at first she would wake you up when you fallen asleep on her, but as you two kept spending more time together she doesnt wake you up, instead he hums and plays with your hair while your sound asleep

✿if you do manage to fall asleep on her shoulder or lap she would blush like crazy, she wouldn't stop squealing and shifting

✿is she does manage to calm down, she places your head onto her lap and just plays with your, not even glancing at your face cus if she does she'll be a red mess!

˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .lil story.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁*

You and ena were sitting on the school bench chatting, and gossiping as usual, ena then heard you yawn, and even sees you rubbing your eyes "y/n.. are you sleepy again? Yknow you should get more sleep.. especially since your in night class.." she says calmly, not even hiding the fact that shes worried.

"im fine ena.. ill just drink some coffee and ill be awake and energized!" You added, ena only sighed "fine.. just.. dont drink too much caffeine okay? I do not want you throwing up all over the place.." you chuckled at her remarks and just nodded

You both continued talking when ena stops "oh! I forgot to tell you something!" She grabs her backpack and searches for her sketchpad "im finished with my- eh?!" She felt you head on her shoulder and was snoring, "y/n.. wake up.." she tries to shake you awake but when she sees your eyebags she just cant leave you like this!

"hmph... fine im letting this one slide.." she groans, she then placed her backpack on her lap, after that she gently holds your head and moved them to her lap, making you lay down and have a comfortable pillow..

"you should get more sleep.. you're sleepier than usual.." she points out, she sighs then looks around to see if no ones around, once the coast is clear she kissed your nose then looks away.

˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .bonus!.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁*

"oh my.. what a sight.." someone spoke up, it was her brother, "why do you let them sleep on you? If i was the one sleeping you would've thrown me around.." "shush! What are you doing here anyways? Youre supposed to be home by now.." she asked "you left your phone dumbass.. i am gonna tell that akiyama person what i just saw.. itd be so funny.." "just.. shut up kay? Look if you dont tell anyone about this, ill buy you whatever you want.!" Her brother smirks "deal!" He then walks away with a proud grin on his face.

@nogenderbee 🩷

[conceptofjoy]

you know what. cut the middle man can we get a homestuck game tierlist. immensely interested in your thought process here because if i was in jakes situation ever id be flirting right back at either of those bitches. sorry.

ur telling me if your crush sent you their . ok sure ok. im ranking on how easily the humans can pull someone, not like maintain a relationship.

A) harlishes

B) june and jane

C) rose and roxy

D) daves and hal

F) dirk

jake’s rizz is a main part of his character, he can’t deal with anything more than surface level bc hes a problems haver. jade’s is genuine, she gells well with the daves, karkat was interested in her, she listens to people and’s empathetic, etc.

EVERYONE had a crush on june. her dorky and dry humor had the lesbians tripping over themselves. she wasnt really good at romancing anyone though lol. jane’s silly, down to earth, kind of a nerd, lesbians want him what can i say.

rose is. intriguing. kind of like jake honestly, she looks and acts cool asf and that ends up intimidating people (kanaya) so they have to play a mental game with her to even like talk to her. she thinks everything’s a contesstttt. she isnt able to keep her cool intimidating persona up constantly which can put people off i guess :(

roxy flirts with EVERYONE. she doesnt know when to give up sometimes holy shit. she can come off as intense and can make people feel bad, but the sheer amount of times she takes a chance guarantees her pulling someone. shes funny asf and friendly.

hal… um he doesnt dwell as much on details as dirk does. rolls with the punches better/ deals with rejection better but is equally as clingy. just slightly better than the daves.

the daves barely make the cut. their dorky but endearing swag might get someone to take pity on them. they have too many issues to be in an actual relationship with someone (unless they have just as many issues).

dirk. hes. one person says hes not interested. and hes like this close to immediately crawling under a table or getting down on his hands and knees to start begging. he’ll probably curtly excuse himself to go walk away stiffly (and crawl under a table).

[a-confused-loser-venting]

hello there.

i came to do this post to apologize to anyone who has seen my previous post and have gotten hurt or felt terrible because of what i wrote.

for context, i made a distasteful post about how people who stay in toxic relationships and complain about their partner dont deserve to keep complaining if they are consciously still deciding to be together with the person. i argued that if they are deciding to be together with said person even if people try to give them advice about the relationship, they sometimes have an attitude about how they can decide what they want and often push people away to stay in that toxicity.

when making the post, i failed to realize that my post made it seem like i was victim blaming people for being in their own predicament, which is totally reasonable and it made me realize that i really was doing that while being an moron in my rant. i failed to acknowledge that a lot of people in toxic relationships struggle to let go of that abuse being as they are chained to it by many reasons, such as trauma or dependency.

i didnt delete the post sooner cause i log out from this account, but when i read the handful of comments letting me know of my tone deaf and shitty behavior, it made me realize how much of an asshole take it was, especially directed as a “vent”.

so to anyone who has read my previous post, im sorry.

i should be more compassionate towards people who cant have the strength to cut off those that are harmful to them. my lack of compassion and selfishness made me blind of the more painful experiences people go through. ill be more knowledgeable of abusive relationships in the future. my post wasnt meant to be harmful but it fully was and i now realize that.

im sorry.

now, to anyone who cares, i hope you dont mind if i give some context with the relationships im in that made me make that post in the first place. i understand if no one wants read about anything i say anymore, but i guess i wanted to share this.

TW: abuse, self harm in the second half of the explanation

there are two relationships that delivered the context of that post.

the first one is mainly the reason of the post.

friend got into his first relationship not too long ago. although things started off well with him and his girlfriend, recently he has been annoyed and disappointed with her.

he has been talking about how he cant stand her, how their opposite personalities annoy him, how she isnt affectionate with him, that she doesnt communicate well and doesnt put much of an effort into the relationship as he does. is not that shes abusive, is that she seems to be more lax in the relationship compare to him and its messing him up.

he has only come to me to vent about her so im the only person who is aware about his dissatisfaction in the relationship.

i have, as any reasonable friend, been a shoulder to lean on. i been listening to his rant and given him advice.

at first i was trying to give the standard. communicate, talk about boundaries, talk about insecurities, make her feel safe in the relationship.

but then when things gotten to the point of him being tired of who she is as a person and even considering preferring another girl over her, i started to just think “he should break up with her”.

but he cant. mainly cause he thinks theres something wrong with him and that he has too much love that a person cant handle when i think this is just a problem of incompatibility.

i have always comforted him and tried letting him know that breaking up with her isnt the end of the world. that theres still a chance to meet someone else new, but he cant bring himself to do it because he has already done so much.

but, if he cant even think about being with her in the next five years then why even keep trying?

even today he left me a message of her lack of comfort. all i could say was that i wanted to hug him cause he doesnt deserve that.

which is why it annoys me so much with how he can’t bring himself to break up. i wish there was a way i could show him that is okay to fail at times, to let him know theres nothing wrong with him, that he should stand up for himself if she is not putting in the effort for him. but im also aware how really… weak he is to say the least.

writing this now, and seeing how his relationship was what made make the previous post in the first place does make me realize how even though i think i have good intentions i still am an asshole.

i just wish there was more i could do then just be his rant dump because thats all he even talks to me for. but im aware im not even doing any good in the first place.

now this next one will touch upon the warnings from earlier, so again:

TW: abuse, self harm.

ill admit i wasnt thinking about this relationship at first when i made that post, but it did remind me of the person in it.

i want to say im also going to go into heavy detail about shit thats probably useless in the first place so im sorry.

im a child of divorce, and when my parents were in the beginning process of divorcing, my mom started dating a childhood friend of hers. this didnt really give her the time to truly grieve on the divorce as she managed to quickly find a replacement partner that could give her the love and affection she needed in a difficult time for her.

although things started well, and we tried to get along with her boyfriend, soon enough things got bad.

fights and arguments started, physical altercations too, a big power imbalance occurred between us and her boyfriend, were we moved into HIS house and we had to be on our best behavior to let us live there.

either way, soon enough he kicked us out.

luckily my aunt let us stay in her house and we managed to stay there before my mom got a house for us to live in.

now, i dont know, maybe i am stupid, but you would think that after the abuse, the physical altercations, the disrespect with him, and getting literally kicked out of his house when we were depending on him will make you think my mother will break up with him no?

wrong.

my mom was allowed to come back to his house. every night while me and my brother stayed in my aunt’s house where we had to share a space with my cousin and follow the rules of my aunt, my mom will come probably for an hour or two everyday to take clothes with her and leave to stay with him.

for a year, i had to start being independent completely at the age of 18 as i also had to take care of my neurodivergent brother alone. i began to be very stand off and never open up about my emotions because i didnt have anyone to lean on.

it didnt help that it seems my mom always thinks im against her. any mistake that i made was an attack towards her, some that often lead to her get in trouble with her boyfriend or even my aunt or just in general that i was disobeying her on purpose. i always tried to be good and not bother her with my own existence but nothing ever worked so she made me feel like shit and i started self harming for half that time.

the only times i have opened up to my mom were through mental breakdowns where she finally acknowledged my pain and how much i hated that she would leave me and my brother to fend for ourselves despite how hurting we are. the first time this happened she said we will always be together and things will change.

on september an incident happened.

my mom was on a three day trip with her boyfriend on another town. they often do go out on trips, maybe to satisfy him so i dont stop her.

however, during the second day in got a notification on my phone from her boyfriend saying that they suddenly were at his house and that i needed to pick up my mom. i, knowing this guy is a prick, that he gets made easily because of his fragile ego, that my mom is depending on him for the trip, that they used to get into nasty fights and physical altercation, it made me scared about why were they even back in the first place.

thinking the worst, i came to the house to pick her up. it’s obvious he didnt want her, that he could leave her any time he wanted. so i came to her to make her realize she has a home, that im here for her, that no matter what, even if she keeps choosing her shitty boyfriend ill always be there to pick her back up.

when i got there she started yelling at me. that just me being there worsen the situation between them. mind you, she was outside and wasnt going to leave his house because she wanted to talk while he wanted her out the house.

she said that i basically fucked things up for her, and when she was removed from the house when the cops came, she had a completely breakdown she took off on me.

i dont want to get into the details. mostly that she said a lot of nasty stuff towards me. just that i made it worse by then running away. i was gone for an hour. and when i came back it just made her think more that i just didnt respect her in any way.

…to be honest at this point im not even sure why i keep writing.

long story short, she has expressed she prefers being with her boyfriend over me and me brother, despite the fact i sometimes hear that asshole berate her for no reason. i have to keep him in my life just because she lets him in our home and he is still entangled with my mother.

he makes her cry, he makes her hurt, she cant let go of him because she loves him so much.

and all i can do is sit and watch.

because in my mind, why is it that you prefer that asshole over your own children?

i know im not innocent in this bullshit. i have become very resentful as a person despite being aware that my mother is just a weak individual. i guess that anger and frustration is why i made that post in the first place. i guess is also why i feel so ashamed in myself, especially when it comes to having feelings for someone and being vulnerable.

im sorry to anyone ive hurt in my post again. i know my trauma doesnt change the fact that i was still being insensitive about other people’s struggles and still am.

im sorry.

[kits-ships]

kit, it feels like its been too long. can u give us some lore drop about your inserts/self ships?

HI DIAMOND!!!!!!!! sorry for my lack of presence on here. brain hasnt been working

edit: JESUS CHRIST IM SO SORRY. YOU ASKED ME FOR A LORE DROP AND I GAVE THE LONGEST INFODUMP EVER

i hate to do it, but i feel the need to talk about holly..... MCU HOLLY...

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MARVEL-TYPICAL VIOLENCE, HOLLY'S TERRIBLE MENTAL HEALTH AND SELF-HATRED, MESSY RELATIONSHIP DRAMA, MENTIONS OF BLOOD- its all jsut a mess

holly was all i thought about during 2022; mostly because i was still dealing with the after effects of quarantine + also college. she was also all i posted about for a while on my now-dead instagram!!! whether you ask my roommate, my old coworkers, my HUSBAND???- HOLLY AND HER BOYFRIENDS WERE SUCH A HUGE HYPERFIXATION THAT EVEN MY MOM KNOWS ABOUT HER

now. what about holly was so interesting to me?? yeah shes my spidersona and everything, but shes not like. spectacular when compared to other spider-people per say. id say she has a heightened healing factor when compared others i guess, and shes pretty op when it comes to her agility skills, but shes still just a gal!

the real thing that had me hooked on her character and her relationships was that they were MESSY. GOOD GOD THEY WERE MESSY.

most of her character development is meant to happen during the nmcu daredevil series, and BOY does she suffer. honestly, season one was great. she teams up with matt a few times, and eventually agrees to help him take down fisk. throughout the season, she falls for him, and is pretty satisfied by the intimate, yet non-romantic bond they share. she finds herself intentionally taking hits for him- knowing that she can handle a lot more bodily damage than matt can- and shes led to believe that he likes her too!! they bandage each other up, get lunch together now and again, and everything is great :3

until season two.

one night, both holly and matt are unintentionally caught by the punisher. and BOY does the punisher have some shit to say. here, holly hears him out and realizes that she may have been following matt a bit blindly. matt is very firm in his morals- no killing, he helps cops, and he seems to believe in salvation. maybe thats why holly likes him. shes always wanted a second chance. something that would make her feel like she isnt just a sad, pathetic teenager

she realizes that her and matt are different. that maybe matt isnt always right. it kinda kills the honeymoon phase that shed been stuck in for so long. this guy shes idolized in her head is kinda full of himself. hes hot and he knows it!! and he does kinda act holier than thou now and again! but holly? holly isnt religious. she hates cops. and, worst of all, she doesnt think second chances are always possible. (keep that in mind lads)

she also emphasizes with frank, and he knows it. the punisher comments on the relationship between her and matt, noticing how tense and quiet holly is being. "whats wrong, blue? he treat you the same? like he'll always be better than you?" she stays quiet and, when he finally frees them, holly leaves. she doesnt help matt fight the gang coming to kill him, nor does she just swing him to safety. her brain is short-circuiting.

enter elektra. matt begins cancelling hang outs with holly, stops talking to her as much, and is, overall, pulling away from her. understandably, holly asks if its about elektra or karen and- of course- matt denies this. after seeing him kiSS elektra, though, holly feels as if hes throwing out everything they had together. its like the 'you vs the girl he tells you not to worry about" except the other girl is a MURDERER?? holly is pissed. now, she knows she wasnt entitled to a relationship with him, but shes still hurt after all the blood, sweat, and tears she put into their friendship / partnership. matt finally calls her, trying to let her down gently, but they end up arguing and holly hangs up on his ass hjkgf. NEITHER of them can handle stress, clearly, and the elektra/frank one-two is TOO much for them

although matt expected holly to eventually cool down, that was not in the plans. to his horror, holly actually AIDS the punisher. she brings him food, gets information for him, and does whatever the fuck she wants until the defenders series

understandably, frank goes under the radar, and holly is left on her own. she watches whatever the fuck is happening in the defenders, and is trying to decide whether or not she wants to help when a BUILDING COLLPASES. AND FOGGY CALLS HER TO TELL HER MATT FUCKIN DIED.

JEEZ.

at this point, holly's mental health has been stretched thin. this girl had already gone through three mental crisis before her first 'canon' appearance, so all this stress has been weighing her HEAVILY on her. she misses having someone to work with. frank is gone. matt is gone. the sokovia accords make her a wanted criminal AND shit is getting worse with every month. theres also another spider person in the picture, and hes backed by stark technology!! how the hell is she supposed to compare to him? shes just holly! holly holly holly! and you know what holly is, besides inferior to this new guy on the scene? holly is alone! she doesnt have friends. she hates nyc. and everyone shes ever loved is GONE!!

one night, while out on patrol, she finds herself watching researchers moving their equipment into trucks and airplanes. theyre moving, apparently! luckily, no one attacks the scientists. one of them drops something, sure, but thats fine, right? no. holly goes to inspect the broken glass, and the green liquid that had spilled onto the asphalt comes to life, seeping into her skin and binding with her.

this is malice.

malice doesn't exactly explain what it is to holly; it just promises her power. now she'll be able to keep up with all these big name heroes, and can keep protecting her city no matter what comes her way. what the symbiote DOESNT explain, however, is the fact that shes both slowly killing holly AND manipulating her. malice uses her anger and loneliness and converts it into an indescribable rage. she stops pulling her punches. she blacks out as soon as the sun goes down, and wakes up the next morning with blood on her hands and suit.

after a few weeks, she looks at herself in the mirror and, despite her healing factor, she finds someone sickly looking back at her. holly's hair is thinning, her skin is turning yellow, her eyes are turning green, and there are huge, black splotches spreading across her body.

she is dying. malice is using everything holly has to satiate its hunger, and doesnt give a fuck about the effects its having on its host. worse case scenario, theyre in new york! malice can find some other sad vigilante once holly dies.

but holly doesnt lay down and die!!!!!! she goes through newspapers, searching for anything that can help her, and eventually lands on doctor stephen strange. surely he can help, right? he's a weird, magical doctor that does crazy, otherworldly shit. if anyone can do something, its him.

and so, she pulls herself up by her bootstraps, and limps her way to the sanctum sanctorum, where the sorcerer supreme exorcises the symbiote from her body using FIRE!!! this way, malice isn't just contained, malice is DEAD. and holly gets to live!!! yay!! she can go back to living her life and being happy, right?

NO!!!!!

MATT IS ALIVE AND THERES SOME GUY IMPERSONATING HIM!!!!!! YOU KNOW HIM, RIGHT HOLLY? THE GUY WHO BROKE YOUR HEART? THE GUY THAT THE ALIEN IN YOUR HEAD WOULDNT LET YOU FORGET? HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH ENOUGH TRAUMATIC EVENTS YET??? GET FUCKED!!!

cut to my dear, stubborn holly forcing herself to tolerate matt again. at this point, she finds him insufferable (and hot, still, but mostly insufferable), and is continuing to struggle with her emotions towards him. nonetheless, she keeps as much distance from him as possible, but helps him defeat fisk + dex. now, with them out of the way, she couldve gotten back with matt, right? that, or she could find frank and team-up with him. no. holly doesnt do any of that. she doesnt even flirt with her pen pal, eddie brock, who she's been talking to regarding their mutual symbiote experiences. holly just stays in new york. miserable, self-hating, and full of regret. despite being a hero, she still feels like shes fucked up her whole life.

then the snap happens. hollys only two friends seemingly die and the world feels terribly bleak. even after everyone is revived, nothing feels the same. how is she supposed to recover from all this shit? how does she pick everything back up and move on??? shes a mutate, sure, but shes also a reclusive, mentally ill mess. life is bad, and she's not contributing much to society anymore. how is she supposed to help people now? shes not captain america. shes not iron man. she feels miserable.

...

...

knock knock!

who's there?

it's the tva! we'd like your help with something, miss miller! ^w^

we've recently noticed just how pathetic you are, ma'am. it seems like a real waste of your powers! how would you like to team up with a particular red-suited superhero and help us protect the sacred timeline? it'll give you a sense of purpose!

oh, the other guy? yeah! he goes by deadpool! you'll like him. maybe.

understandably, holly is kinda confused. she knew aliens and shit existed, but what the fuck is the sacred timeline?? dimensions?! what the hell is going on?? desperate for anything that'll prove that shes not useless, she accepts the deal and eventually meets wade wilson. and good god is he annoying. imagine spideypool, spiderman has forgotten to take his lexapro for a few days. holly is pretty fuckin annoyed, but surprisingly takes his side when paradox announces that he's going to destroy wade's universe. yeah, she has no real stake in this conflict. but paradox is cocky and pisses holly off.

cut to her, wade, and logan stuck in the void. they look like a set of fingerpaints when they stand together. holly tries to prevent the two guys from fighting, but she can't separate them; her healing factor CANNOT deal with all these fucking blades. especially not after she had to deal with nobu and THIS thing

she has been filleted like a fish once, and respectfully sits out during any fighting between them. that, or she webs them up. unfortunately, she cant really protect herself when cassandra's gang pull out a huge magnet + both wade and logan pin her to it- smushing the trio.

back at their little headquarters, cassandra explores holly's mind, going through the layers of trauma this girl keeps folding up and hiding in the recesses of her brain. she mocks holly for letting a man hold so much power over her, and degrades her for being so useless in the grand scheme of things. she's fumbled every relationship she's tried to maintain, and, even though holly's powers were the only thing that kept her going, the other woman claims that they'll never be enough. wade, logan, and holly suddenly look AND feel like the biggest fucking losers in the world, and proceed to beat the fuck out of each other in a honda odyssey.

upon waking up in a random 'house', holly proceeds to watch logan drown his sorrows as she thinks about everything shes ever done wrong.

just as wade wakes up, GUESS WHO WALKS IN? ELEKTRA. Not HER elektra, BUT ITS STILL ELEKTRA. holly begins to spiral more than before, remaining quiet and shocked for the entirety of the conversation. the only thing that pulls her out of it for a moment is blade saying a slur + remy flustering her.

things pick up a bit from here. even though holly is losing it, the fact that shes part of a little team helps with her psyche. she also starts breaking the fourth wall a bit more + is a bit more sarcastic than she'd ever been (much how i expect a comic version of her would be.) theres a lot more spider-person typical quips coming from her!!

holly honestly expects to die during the big fight. she thinks that shes at the end of her story- she's run her course like elektra and blade- but a combination of her spider-sense and logan dont let her die.

cassandra tries to butter her up like she does to logan. like oh..... wades an annoying prick.. imagine the power we could have together....... but holly is sick of listening to other people and having them lead her. she'd been doing that for so fuckin long!!!!! even after trying to tell her she can erase the piles upon piles of trauma shes repressed, holly tells her to fuck off, and wade manages to finally subdue her.

theres not really much to say once they get to the time ripper scene. paradox tells them that whoever tries to stop it will die (no matter the healing factor) and holly sees this as her opportunity to make up for what she believes is her sad, little existence. after all, she thinks it makes sense for her to die. why have one of the immortal crime-fighters die when it could be her? of course, it doesnt turn out this way, and all three of them survive.

now holly happily lives with her two new friends in this new universe. hope this doesnt cause an incursion.

and they live happily ever after

maybe??