#SHE IS A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN LIV

[milesworld96]

MAMI IS OPENING SUMMERSLAM MAMI IS FUCKING OPENING SUMMERSLAM

FFUUUUCK THE WOMAN THAT SHE IS, SHE LOOKS SO HOT

DomDom. Do NOT fuck this up, I will kill you.

[fatecantstopme]

I Can't Walk Away

Pairing: Nick Amaro x plus size!reader

Summary: When you and your boyfriend break up, you're faced with the seemingly impossible task of putting yourself back together. Luckily for you, your very handsome coworker is more than happy to help along the way.

Warnings: Body image issues, low self-esteem, mentions of toxic/abusive relationships, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, light dom/sub vibes, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).

A/N: This was entirely self-indulgent and I have no regrets.

Spanish Translations:

Querida: sweetheart/darling

Hermosa: beautiful

Mierda: shit

Por favor: please

Si: yes

All other translations will be after the sentence in brackets/italics.

You dropped onto Olivia's couch with a huff, tears still threatening to break through your stubborn facade.

"Are we gonna talk about it or do I need to have someone beat him up?" Liv asked you, a small smirk gracing her face.

"As much as I'd love to see his ass get handed to him, I think we should avoid committing any crimes," you said lightly.

Olivia sighed softly and reached over to put her arm around you. You leaned into her shoulder and began to let your guard drop. Olivia had been your best friend for over a decade now, your time working together in SVU having brought you closer than you could have imagined.

"He was an asshole, (Y/N/N)," she said softly. "You deserve better."

"You say that, but I guess I just don't believe it," you muttered.

It nearly broke her heart to hear you speak so negatively of yourself, but she knew no matter how many uplifting words she spoke, you would still refuse to believe her.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me," you whispered, tears finally beginning to fall. "Maybe I'm broken--unloveable."

"Hey," she chided. "You are so many things, (Y/N), but broken and unloveable are not among them."

She tightened her grip on you, pulling you into a proper side hug. She let you cry into her shoulder, her own heart breaking along with yours.

You knew, objectively, she was right--your now-ex was indeed an asshole. He'd never treated you well and had often put you down and made you feel terrible about yourself. Your self-esteem had been lower than usual when you met him and in the 6 months you'd been together, he'd managed to destroy whatever vestige of self-love you had left.

There wasn't a single thing about you he didn't belittle. Whether it was your physical appearance, your career, your hobbies, your dreams...he made you feel like everything you ever did was a mistake. In his estimation, you were too fat, unintelligent, boring...and your choice in career was just about the worst thing you could do.

You'd made it your mission in life to help the victims of particularly heinous crimes, which is why you'd been working at SVU for almost 12 years. You were the squad's forensic psychologist, and you loved your work. In many respects, it was the one thing that really brought joy to your life. It was your greatest passion--and the amount of time you spent at work certainly showed it.

Yet during those 6 months with him...your love for the job had begun to wane. Every time you'd stay late or have to cancel a date, he'd berate you for it--mocking your job and your inability to 'be a real person'. Now that you'd finally taken the leap and broken up with him, you were hopeful you could fall back in love with your work.

In this moment, however, all you could think about were the horrible things he'd said to you when you told him you wanted to break up. He'd been especially cruel, calling out every physical insecurity you had and making you feel like an absolute pile of human garbage. He'd called you fat, ugly, unloveable, gross...and a million other things you couldn't bear to repeat.

You weren't thin--you knew that, but you weren't gross. That was just offensive. Unfortunately, he wasn't the first ex to make comments about your weight--something you'd been struggling with for most of your adult life. The words had hit you harder than you'd expected, making you actually think he might be right...maybe you were the problem.

Olivia's voice broke you out of your thoughts, "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

You just nodded, not trusting your voice to answer her properly.

She squeezed you a little tighter, her reassuring presence grounding you in ways you desperately needed. You were always thankful for her friendship, but it was moments like this where you were reminded how much she really meant to you.

**********

You'd spent most of the weekend at Olivia's and by the time Monday rolled around, you were feeling a little bit better. She always knew what to do and say to make everything okay. It was a gift you'd always envied and appreciated.

It was very typical of you to be the first person in the office, having been an early riser most of your life. So you were more than a little surprised when you walked into the precinct Monday morning and spotted Nick Amaro sitting at his desk.

"You're in early," you commented lightly in lieu of greeting.

He turned his gaze to look over at you and shot you a disarming smile. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well get a head start on some paperwork I've been putting off."

"Wise man. Wouldn't want to upset the boss."

He grinned. "She's strict." His voice was teasing and warm and it made you feel something in your gut you always tried to ignore.

In truth, you were extremely attracted to Nick--it was undeniable. You had not, nor would you ever, tell him or act on it. Nick was so far out of your league it wasn't even funny. Besides, he was newly single, still fresh from his divorce.

"She can be calmed with good coffee and blueberry muffins," you said conspiratorially.

Nick chuckled. "I'm gonna have to write that down."

You offered him a smile before continuing past him to your office. You were surprised when his voice stopped you after a few steps.

"How was your weekend?"

You turned back to face him. "Friday was absolute shit," you said honestly. "But I spent Saturday and part of yesterday with Liv, so it's better now."

A look of concern crossed his face. "Everything okay?"

You feigned a smile. "Everything's fine. Thanks for asking."

His eyes narrowed as he gazed at you skeptically. "Is it that guy again?"

Your cheeks darkened, embarrassed Nick even knew about your ex. "We broke up."

Nick almost looked relieved. "I would say sorry, but it wouldn't be honest. I never liked the guy--he didn't treat you right."

You were surprised he paid enough attention to the things you said to know just how badly your ex had treated you. "Oh?"

Nick stood up and took a couple steps closer to you. He was still a professional distance away, but he could speak quieter so only you could hear him.

"You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You're an amazing woman, (Y/N), and a good man would never treat you the way he did. He clearly didn't recognize your worth."

His words slammed into you with surprising force. "I-um-thank you," you muttered softly.

"You can thank me by dating a man who will love you the way you deserve," he said lowly. "Como una reina." [Like a queen.]

His last three words were so quiet you weren't even sure you'd heard him properly--or if you were supposed to hear them at all. You weren't fluent in Spanish by any means, but you understood the basics...enough to know he'd said something about a queen. That is, if you heard him correctly.

You were about to ask him to elaborate when Olivia came into the squad room. She sent a warm smile your way and issued greetings to both you and Nick. Her arrival broke whatever spell Nick had been under, and he went back to his desk quietly.

You went into your office, leaving the door open behind you so you could hear the goings on and the arrival of the rest of the squad. There were plenty of things for you to do, but you couldn't get Nick's words out of your head.

**********

Olivia looked up from her computer when Nick knocked on the doorframe entering her office.

"Mind if I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

He came in and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Uh-oh...closed door conversation? Everything okay?"

"With me, yes," he answered. "But I wanted to ask you something and I don't want anyone overhearing."

"Okay..."

"It's about (Y/N)."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "What about her?"

"She mentioned she'd spent the weekend with you and she and that asshole broke up."

Olivia chuckled softly, glad to hear she wasn't the only one who hated your ex.

"I know it's not really my business, but I can tell something is really upsetting her. Hell, I've noticed a change in her since the moment they started dating--and not in a good way."

"He isn't a good person," Olivia conceded.

"Tell me about it," Nick muttered. "Anyway, I just--well, I just want to know if she's okay? I mean, really okay."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I did, but I know she wasn't being honest with me."

Olivia sighed. She had a feeling he was asking about you for a reason, but she wasn't sure it was her place to tell him the truth. She was torn between being honest with her partner and keeping her best friend's pain to herself.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell you, but he did say some particularly cruel things about her when she broke up with him."

Nick's eyes narrowed and Olivia could see the anger flare in them. "What did he say to her?" Even his voice was laced with fury--the mere idea someone would hurt you sent him off the edge.

"I can't tell you," Olivia answered. "But if you really want to know, then I think you should talk to her. She trusts you, so she may open up to you."

Nick nodded, anger still boiling beneath the surface. "You're right--I didn't mean to intrude or anything."

Olivia shook her head. "It's alright. I know you care about her...I guess I'm just a little surprised by your anger."

He winced slightly, feeling embarrassed for his display of emotion. "I don't like the idea of some guy making her feel like shit."

"Neither do I," she said honestly. "I am curious though...what made you ask about her?"

"Wha-what do you mean?"

Olivia smiled slowly. "I mean, why do you want to know badly enough to ask me?"

Nick had a feeling Olivia could see right through him--they'd been partners for a few years after all. He wasn't sure how to answer--or if he wanted to be entirely truthful. In the end, he opted for vague honesty. "I care about her."

Olivia watched his expression in silence for a long moment before responding. "So do I."

Nick could see the meaning behind her words as clearly as if she'd spoken them aloud--don't hurt my friend. He didn't say it, but he hoped Olivia knew he would never hurt you...it would break his heart.

**********

"Hey (Y/N/N). You busy?"

You looked up to see Nick standing in your office doorway, leaning against the frame. You swallowed thickly as you pushed down the improper thoughts blazing through your mind at the sight.

"Uh--no. What's up?"

He stepped into the room, edging closer to your desk. "I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner tonight. My treat."

You raised your eyebrows at him, unsure of the cause of his request. "Is there some sort of celebration I'm unaware of?"

He chuckled lightly. "Other than your new-found freedom, no. I just...well, I wanted to spend a little time with you. Ya know, if you want."

You bit your bottom lip as you contemplated his offer. "Well, I don't have any other plans, so why not?"

He grinned. "Excellent. Do you want time to go home first or just leave from here?"

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling very frumpy and unattractive. You knew he wasn't asking you out on a date--just a friend inviting you to dinner to cheer you up. Even still, you really didn't want to go out looking like this. "Do you mind if I go home and change first?"

"Not at all. I can pick you up from your place, if you'd like?"

"Oh, uh-yeah. Sure."

He smiled again. "Perfect. 6:30?"

You nodded. "Sounds good."

You watched him walk out of your office, mind racing as you tried to figure out his motivations and what the hell you were gonna wear.

**********

By the time 6pm rolled around, you'd managed to change your clothes somewhere in the realm of 50 times, and you still weren't entirely satisfied. Even your favorite outfit didn't feel right--you could hear your ex's voice in the back of your mind telling you everything you tried on looked bad.

You dug further into your closet, looking for something simple--cover the things you wanna hide and accentuate the things you wanna show off. Your eyes fell on a beautiful black dress you'd actually never worn. You'd purchased it on a whim because you'd loved it in the store and Olivia had insisted it was too perfect to pass up on.

You pulled the dress off the hanger and put it on, pleased it still fit properly. When you turned to look in the mirror, you almost didn't recognize yourself--you actually felt pretty. The bodice of the dress was tight, but the lower half was flowy. The material was a soft, stretch satin, with a low neckline and flutter sleeves. The dress hit right above your knees and it practically screamed for a pair of heels.

You found your favorite black pumps, slipping them on and smiling at your reflection. You put on some jewelry to spice up the look, sprayed your favorite perfume, and double checked your hair and makeup one last time. You didn't wear much makeup on the daily, so you didn't go too wild with your makeup for the evening. You'd added some eyeliner and lipstick, but otherwise you looked natural. You'd actually been having a good hair day already, so you were pleased to see it was still behaving properly.

You'd just put the last finishing touches on the outfit when you heard the buzzer ring. You quickly went to answer it, and upon hearing Nick's voice, told him you'd be right down.

You took one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and headed downstairs feeling both excited and trepidatious. You reminded yourself once again this was just two friends having dinner--purely platonic...but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't want it to be an actual date.

Nick was waiting just outside the front entrance to your apartment building, and he turned around when he heard the door open. Nothing could have prepared you for the look on his face when he saw you.

"Santa mierda," he breathed. "You look incredible." [Holy shit.]

You blushed and looked away. "Thank you," you mumbled softly.

He stepped towards you and gently touched your chin, lifting your face to meet his gaze. "You're very welcome."

He dropped his hand, but his eyes stayed fixed on your face for a long moment. "Do you like Italian?" he asked.

"Of course," you answered, silently pleased your voice sounded normal.

"Excellent." He gestured towards his car and you followed behind him. He opened the passenger door and helped you in before getting in the driver's seat.

The drive wasn't very long, and your nerves kept you quiet for most of the ride. You listened to him chatter on about nothing, simply enjoying the sound of his voice.

When you arrived at the restaurant, he once again opened your door and helped you out, but this time his hand didn't leave yours. He placed your hand through the loop he'd made with his arm and guided you to the entrance.

Once you were seated, your nerves began to ratchet up even higher. Unfortunately for you, Nick was both an extremely good detective and an annoyingly perceptive person. As such, he noticed your discomfort immediately.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," you lied.

"It's just me, (Y/N/N)," he said quietly.

You exhaled slowly--realizing he was right. It was Nick for God's sake. He was your colleague, your friend. There was no reason to be nervous. "You're right."

He smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze your hand. He pulled it back to his side of the table as the server arrived for your drink order.

You were grateful for the glass of wine he delivered moments later, lifting it to your lips almost immediately. You knew the liquid would calm your nerves--maybe then you wouldn't embarrass yourself.

"I'm glad you agreed to have dinner with me," Nick said softly as he sipped his own glass of wine.

"I was a little surprised, in all honesty."

"That I asked or that you agreed?" he teased lightly.

You smiled. "Definitely the former."

"I hate seeing you upset," he admitted. "I thought I might be able to cheer you up a little."

"Thanks, Nick. You're a good friend."

His face fell slightly, but he quickly hid it behind a soft smile. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Whatever he was going to ask was cut off by the arrival of the server to take your food order.

As soon as the server left the table, Nick leaned forward and lowered his voice. "What did he say to you that hurt you so much?"

"What?"

"Your ex."

Your expression shifted and you looked down at the table. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"Why?"

"Because whatever he said hurt you--and I'm willing to bet my career that he was wrong."

Your eyes snapped back up to meet his. His expression was deadly serious, yet it somehow put you at ease in a way only Nick could. "He said some unpleasant things about my physical appearance that I could have lived without hearing."

Surprise lit up his handsome face. "Unpleasant things about your appearance? I'll bet my life he was wrong."

Now it was your turn to be surprised. "I wouldn't make that bet, Nick."

"I'm confident. Tell me what he said and I'll judge for myself."

You took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before giving him a quick overview. "Essentially he said I'm unattractive and fat--I recall the word 'gross' being used as well."

Nick's temper flared instantly, the urge to punch that son of a bitch in the face nearly overwhelming. "He said what?"

Even if you didn't know Nick, you would have been able to see the rage simmering in his eyes, hear it in his tone. "It's not a big deal."

"If he was here, I'd launch him through a window. Bastard."

"I'm okay," you reassured him quietly.

Your soft voice grounded him, as it so often did, and he felt his anger dissipating. He was still angry, but the urge to hunt that asshole down had begun to fade.

"He was wrong, you know."

"Huh?"

"He was wrong. Not only are you one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid eyes on, but your body is perfectly proportioned--deliciously soft and curvy. You're about as far from gross as a human being can be."

He spoke with such conviction, such assuredness, that you almost believed him--almost.

"While I appreciate the compliment, Nick, you've never seen me naked...your opinion would change, trust me."

Nick's eyes flared with a new kind of intensity. "I highly doubt that."

"His did," you said quietly.

"He clearly didn't know what he had."

Your eyes met his, shoulders tense, discomfort obvious in every movement you made.

"Listen to me, (Y/N). I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me--I think you're gorgeous. Stunning. Elegante. Sin fin perfecta." [Elegant. Endlessly perfect.] He reached for your hand and you let him take it in his. "You are a prize, (Y/N). Any man worth a damn would be honored to call you his."

You didn't know what to say. His words surprised you and warmed your soul at the same time. You could also feel the familiar tightening in your gut, accompanied by an entire swarm of butterflies dancing in your stomach.

"Forget every terrible thing he ever said to you, hermosa. Let me fill your mind with praise. Let me remind you of your beauty, inside and out, of your brilliance, of your kindness, your empathy...of all the little things that make you the incredible woman you are."

"Nick..." you whispered, his name the only coherent thing you were able to utter.

The moment was shattered by the arrival of your food. You'd been hungry when you sat down at the table, but your body was now flooded with a very different kind of hunger--a hunger you now believed Nick shared.

"Thank you, Nick," you said softly. "I know it's not nearly enough, but thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I meant every word."

You gave him a small smile. "Still..."

He returned the expression.

The two of you ate in silence for several minutes, minds clearly elsewhere. After a while, Nick noticed you'd done more moving the food around the plate than actually eating and he called you out on it.

"Eat your food, querida. You'll need your strength."

Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his gaze. "For what?"

He leaned forward. "If you'll let me, I'm going to spend several hours showing you exactly how sexy I think you are."

You gulped. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

He grinned wolfishly. "By worshipping that amazing body of yours...over and over again, until you're screaming my name."

You suddenly found it very difficult to breathe, let alone eat. Nick, on the other hand, went right back to eating his food as if he hadn't just threatened you with an incredibly good time.

You had to force yourself to focus on your food, desperately trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs.

As soon as the meal was over, Nick asked for the check and paid, revealing just how desperate he was to get back to your place.

Once again, he helped you into the car, only this time his hand lingered on the small of your back.

Anticipation flooded through you as Nick drove through the streets of the city. You'd wanted him for so long--never once thinking he'd reciprocate the desire. Despite his words earlier in the evening, you still felt a shred of self-doubt...worrying he might not find you as attractive once you were naked.

"Where's that pretty head at, querida?" he asked softly, noticing your anxiety.

"Can you promise me something?"

"Of course."

"If you don't want to go through with this...you know, when you see me without my clothes on...please just tell me. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something you don't wanna do."

He reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. "I don't have to promise that because I know what I want, (Y/N)...and that's you. You could be a alien underneath those clothes and I'd still want you."

You laughed lightly. "I promise I'm not an alien."

He grinned. "Then we're gonna be just fine, baby."

You closed your eyes, silently willing yourself to believe him. You trusted him with your life--something you'd never experienced with any of your past relationships. Every fiber of your being told you Nick would never hurt you on purpose--never. You just needed to trust him--let go of your pain and give in to your desires.

When you finally made it back to your apartment, Nick gave you a gentle reminder. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to, (Y/N)."

"I want to," you whispered.

He inhaled slowly and took a step towards you. "Say 'no' or 'stop' and I'll stop immediately, okay? No hard feelings--I won't push you."

"I don't want to say no, Nick."

He took another step towards you, effectively backing you against the wall. "If you wanna stop--"

"Nick, please just kiss me," you begged softly.

He groaned softly before leaning in to press his lips to yours. His kiss was like fire and ice--more addictive than any drug known to man. He kissed you like you were the air he needed to breathe--like he would rather suffocate to death than stop.

He pressed his warm body against yours, wedging his knee between your thighs to keep you from squeezing them together. His tongue tangled with yours, quickly asserting dominance as he deepened the kiss.

Your hands went to the buttons on his white button down, quickly undoing them in a desperate need to feel his skin. He helped you remove the shirt, followed by his undershirt, leaving his toned chest bare for you to see.

You bit your lip and stifled a soft groan as you appreciated his form.

"You can touch me, querida," he said softly. "I wanna feel your soft hands on my skin."

You did as he asked, hands gliding over his smooth, tan skin. He sighed softly and leaned into your touch, lips grazing your jaw affectionately.

Your hands traveled to his hips and you began to loosen his belt. He allowed you to unbutton his pants and he helped you remove them.

"I think you're a bit overdressed for the occasion, hermosa," he teased huskily.

You tensed slightly, a feeling of dread washing over you.

Of course, Nick felt it and instantly began to sooth your worries. "You can keep on as much as you want, querida, but I want to see you. I've wanted to touch you like this since the day I met you. But if you're more comfortable keeping your clothes on, that's alright."

You looked up at him, his dark eyes warm and honest. You took a deep breath and pushed him back slightly, giving yourself the room to pull your dress off over your head.

You dropped your dress to the ground, but your eyes didn't meet his gaze--you couldn't even bring yourself to look at his face, too afraid of what you might see there.

"Querida, por favor," Nick whispered. "Look at me."

You looked up at him slowly, a soft gasp leaving your lips as you took in his hungry expression.

"I wanna kiss every square inch of your beautiful body, hermosa. Will you let me?"

You nodded tentatively.

"I need to hear you say it, baby," he pleaded.

"I want you Nick, please."

He groaned and pressed his body against yours again. "Say that again, querida."

"I want you," you whispered.

"Fuck--" He slammed his lips against yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth almost immediately. You melted in his arms, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours.

He finally pulled away to catch his breath, but his hands didn't leave your body. Now that he'd touched you so intimately, he never wanted to stop.

"Come with me," he whispered, before guiding you to your bedroom. "Lay down on the bed for me, querida."

You did as he asked, noticing how his eyes never left your body.

He made sure you were looking at him before he began to lower his boxer briefs, slowly revealing his large cock. He was already painfully hard, a bead of precum lingering at the tip.

You licked your lips in anticipation, an action he noticed with pride.

"Like what you see, hermosa?"

"Very much so."

He smiled and climbed onto the bed, covering your soft body with his hard one. "May I take off your bra?"

You nodded.

"Baby..." he said in a clear warning tone.

You understood his meaning instantly, a flood of arousal going straight to your core at the order. "Yes, papi."

His eyes widened for a moment, surprised and pleased at your use of the title. "Such a good girl, aren't you?"

A soft moan left your lips at the praise and he smiled to himself, pleased he was able to suss out what you liked.

His hand snaked around your back, deftly unclasping your bra with surprising ease. The moment your breasts were bared to his gaze, his mouth descended on you, taking a pert nipple into his mouth.

You moaned softly, fingers intertwining into his dark locks. His lips and hands massaged your breasts, giving them equal attention. True to his word, he moved tantalizingly slowly down your body, kissing every inch of skin he could, while avoiding where you needed him most.

By the time he made his way back up to your face, you were begging him to touch your pussy--pleading for some relief.

"Nick, please--I need you."

"What did you call me?" he asked harshly.

Your eyes widened lustfully. "I'm sorry, papi!"

He smiled, ghosting his fingers across your still-clothed pussy. "That's my good girl."

You whimpered at the feather-light touches he placed to your mound, desperate for more. "Please, papi."

"Hmm? Qué deseas?" [What do you want?]

"Please touch me," you begged.

"I am touching you, querida."

"More, papi. Please!"

He smiled. "Normally I'd take my time teasing you--making you beg for what you want...but if I'm being honest, I'm as desperate to touch you as you are to feel it, so I'll be nice to you this time."

He tugged your panties off quickly before spreading your thighs as wide as he could, revealing your dripping wet folds.

"All this for me, baby?" he growled.

"Only you, papi," you responded.

"Yeah? No one else makes you this wet?"

You shook your head vehemently. "No one else."

"Now I have one rule, hermosa. I wanna hear you--every little sound coming out of that pretty mouth. Be as loud as you want. Entiendes?" [Understand?]

"Si, papi," you whimpered.

He smirked as he lowered himself down onto the bed between your legs. His strong hands gripped your hips and he tugged you as close to his face as he could before diving into your pussy with a deep groan of pleasure.

You gasped at the sensation, the sound quickly becoming moans of enjoyment. Nick was quite skilled with his mouth--his tongue alone made you feel things you'd never before experienced.

Your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging at the roots as you desperately sought your release.

Nick held you in place as he continued his assault on your pussy, ensuring he had complete control over your pleasure.

"Feels so good," you gasped. "Gonna cum, papi."

He groaned against your clit, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through your body. He could feel how close you were by the way your thighs tried to close and your grip on his hair tightened.

Your moans became more desperate--needy, and he slid two fingers into your pussy, gently pressing into your g-spot rapidly.

You cried out, legs shaking slightly, seconds before your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave. His name left your lips in a gasped scream as he worked you through your high, only stopping when you began to squirm away.

You were completely breathless when he lifted his head, mouth and chin soaked in your juices. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth on his hand, licking it clean as he maintained eye contact with you. "You taste so good baby...I can't get enough."

You reached for him and he obliged, leaning forward to kiss you softly. You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue, a soft sound of pleasure escaping into his mouth.

"Querida," he whispered against your lips. "I need to be inside you."

"Please," you whimpered.

"Do you have protection?"

"I'm on the pill..."

"I'm clean," he assured you.

"Me too."

He lined his cock up with your entrance and looked back up at your face. "Are you sure, hermosa?"

"Si papi. I want you to fuck me."

He groaned softly before thrusting into you, sheathing himself fully inside of you in one swift movement.

You cried out, the stretch both overwhelming and extremely pleasurable all at once. You clutched his neck and he breathed deeply, trying to calm his racing heart.

"You can move," you whispered.

"Not yet, querida. I need a moment."

"Are you okay?" you asked in concern.

"Your pussy feels so damn incredible, baby...I'm just trying to control myself so I don't hurt you."

You bit your lip and lifted his face up to look at you. "I like a little bit of pain, papi." You clenched your pussy tightly for emphasis.

"Mierda," he ground out. "You sure?"

"Fuck me senseless, Nick. Por favor."

As much as he loved you calling him 'papi', hearing you say his name like that made him feral. He pulled out and thrust back in harshly, starting a fast, hard pace.

"Baby, say my name again," he begged.

"Nick," you moaned lowly.

"Fuck." He was fucking you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do and you'd never experienced anything like it.

You felt the coil tightening in your abdomen, and for the first time in your life, you knew you were going to cum during penetration. Your moans were loud enough to wake the neighbors, your nails dug into his muscular back, and your pussy had his cock in a vice grip.

"You gonna cum for me, (Y/N)?"

You nodded rapidly, unable to voice a response. The only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of incoherent moans and pleas.

"I wanna feel you cum, baby. Cubre mi polla." [Coat my cock.]

"Nick!" you whined.

"What do you need, querida? Tell me."

"More," you whimpered.

He slipped his hand between your bodies and began to gently massage your clit. "This what you need, baby?"

"Nick!" you screamed. "Don't stop!"

"That's it, baby. That's it. I've got you. Cum for me, querida. Ven por mí." [Come for me.]

You cried out in ecstasy as the waves of pleasure overwhelmed your senses. You clung to him desperately, as if he was a life raft while you were adrift in the ocean.

He began to chase his own high as you came down, your awareness coming back to you. His thrusts were fast and rough, his breathing ragged.

"I want you to cum for me, papi. Fill me up," you begged.

"Dios mio! You feel so good, baby. Wanna cum for you."

You clenched your pussy as tightly as you could, desperate for him to enjoy this as much as you did.

"(Y/N)!" he cried out as he came, his hot seed filling you up.

His thrusts slowed and faltered before he finally collapsed on top of you, breathless and satiated.

You held him close, running your fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. You were a little worried he would regret this now that it was over, but your fears were assuaged the moment he lifted his head to look at you.

His beautiful brown eyes were warm and loving as he gazed at you, happiness and contentment clear in his expression. "That was incredible," he murmured softly.

You blushed slightly. "You were incredible."

"As were you, querida."

He pressed his lips to yours as he pulled himself up. He rolled onto his side and pulled you with him, so your head rested against his chest.

"I'm thinking we take a power nap, then we go for round two," Nick said softly.

"Round two?!"

He grinned. "I did promise you I was gonna worship this sexy body of yours for hours."

"I didn't think you were serious, Nick," you said with a chuckle.

"Oh, baby, I'm always serious about worshipping you. I think you'll learn that very quickly."

You smiled and kissed his chest softly. You debated whether you wanted to voice the question that popped into your head, but once again, Nick beat you to it.

"You know this isn't a one time thing, right?" Nick asked gently. "I mean, unless you want it to be."

You looked up at him, expression soft and affectionate. "I was actually just going to ask you that."

He grinned. "So...you saying you might wanna see me again?"

"I see you every day, Nick," you teased.

"I mean like this, hermosa. Naked in your bed, making you scream my name, giving you as much pleasure as your pretty little body will take."

Your breath hitched in your chest, giving away just how badly you wanted that. "That too."

He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "If I'm lucky, you'll let me take you out more too. Dinner, dancing, walks in the park, musicals...whatever you want. Wherever you go, I want to be there too."

Your eyes widened in surprise and tears filled them. You'd never had someone speak to you the way Nick did, let alone want to be with you in the way he just described.

"Querida," he whispered as he wiped your eyes. "Don't cry."

"Tears of joy," you assured him. "I promise."

His expression warmed, filling with the love and admiration he clearly felt for you. "So you'll be mine then? Exclusively?"

Your lips parted and you smiled. "I would love that."

He smiled back. "Thank god...because whether you knew it or not, I've been yours exclusively for the past year."

"What?"

He blushed slightly. "I...well I've wanted to be with you since my marriage fell apart, but I didn't want you to think you were some kind of rebound, so I kept myself professional. It's gotten harder and harder to do and then seeing you dating someone who treated you so terribly knowing full-well I would die for you made it nearly impossible."

"I didn't know," you whispered.

"I went to great lengths to make sure of that," Nick said softly. "But now that I have you? Now that I know what it's like to touch you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you? Baby, I can't walk away. You're stuck with me."

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, straddling his strong body. You leaned down to kiss him softly, pouring all of your emotion into the kiss. "There's no one I'd rather be stuck with, Nick Amaro," you whispered against his lips.

He grinned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing you with as much passion as he could muster. He was determined to spend every minute of the rest of his life making sure you knew how incredible you were, how much he appreciated you, and how madly in love with you he would always be.

[flowery-mess]

WINGS AND EMBERS

chapter 2

series masterlist

Summary: You and Bradley met for the first time when accident happened on the base. Bob and Nat had emergency landing, because their plane was on fire. At the scene yours and Bradleys paths crossed for the first time and since then your relationship was full of embers, and planes.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! / unprotected sex / oral sex / flying / english is not my first language / let me know if I need to tag anything else

Pairing: firefighter!Y/N x Bradley Bradshaw

Word count: 6,7k

Author's note: let me know your thoughts on this story, please! I have ideas for one or maybe two more chapters, so your ideas are welcomed if you'd like to read more! Hopefully the next chapter won't take me months to write again, sorry!💗

Two days later, but still no text from Bradley. You started to think that either he’s planning the biggest date ever or that he lost interest in you. You tried to be fine with the second option, but it wasn’t easy. After long time you found interest in someone. Not just someone, he is handsome, smart, mature and seemed to have similar visions for future.

“Has he texted yet?” Travis peeked his head into your opened office doors.

“Do you realize that every time you ask me that question it’s like you slap me in the face over and over again?” you exaggerated a bit, but you felt the need to make your point clear, after Travis had asked you if Bradley already texted you like a million times.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He entered the office with mug full of coffee and two cookies.

“Well, that could do as an apology.” As you were about to bite into that delicious cookie, your phone beeped.

You took a sip of coffee and then reached for your phone. Reading that text made your mood instantly better. “Speaking of the devil…” Travis reached for your phone over the table, looking more excited than you.

“Hi, it’s Bradley. I’m sorry for not texting earlier, but some shit happened at work and I got caught up. Are you free this Friday? Oh my god tell me you are free this Friday Y/N.” Travis yelled excitedly in your direction.

“Give me my phone back.” You took it out of his hand and read the text again. “The question is, should I be free the second he texts or should I give him some torture back, huh?”

“No no no, we’re not like that. Text him you are free this Friday and that it’s okay he didn’t text you the second you left the cab.” He said with irony in his voice.

“Okay.” You said with a pout that made you look like a kid that didn’t get what they wanted.

And with that you added “Bradley” in your calendar on Friday 5 PM.

----

“How do I look?” you made a twirl in front of Travis and Matt, who were having a boys night.

Bradley didn’t tell you what you’re going to do, but told you to dress comfortable. But also said to not wear skirt or dress even though he liked your choice of clothes last time.

So you went with black loose pants and black short sleeved t shirt that you tucked into the pants. Small brown bag and basic white converse, along with half up hair and make up very light, including your significant eye liner and red lipstick.

“Hot but casual.”

“Sexy but in a nice way.” Both men sitting on a couch with beer said at the same time.

“Why isn’t Liv here, she would’ve been better help. But thank you.” You sent them a kiss and went to grab your sunglasses before going outside to wait for the handsome man in his blue bronco.

---

“5 PM sharp.” You said when Bradley got out of his car to meet you at the passenger side of the car.

“Well, I’m in the Navy, right?” he chuckled.

“Man on time, I like that.” He took your face in his hands, lowering his head to yours.

“Hi.” Bradley whispered.

“Hi.” You whispered back and waited if he’s going to kiss you here, in the open space of the street you live at. You also felt four burning holes in your back, as you were sure Matt and Travis were watching the two of you.

And he did kiss you. Bradley put his lips on yours, kissing you gently. Then he gave you two small pecks and disconnected your face from his.

“You look very nice, as always.”

“Thank you, you look good too.” With that Bradley opened the passenger’s door and you jumped in. You scanned him when he jogged to the driver’s side and slid in.

“So can you tell me what’s the plan for tonight already?” you smiled at Bradley, because you couldn’t stop smiling since the minute he landed his lips at yours.

“Surprise baby, surprise.” With a smirk on his face he started the bronco and you were on your way.

“How do you like San Diego so far?” Bradley started the casual conversation when you left the street you live at.

“It’s nice. I haven’t seen much of it yet. I’ve been busy with work and getting to know everyone at the station, so I haven’t seen much of the actual city.” Your answer was the truth. Between trying to fit in the new group of fire fighters and moving all your stuff here, you haven’t had the time or energy to explore the new city.

“What a shame.” Bradley said, shaking his head in a way that told you he has something planned, you felt irony in his voice. “And how’s the new station for you?”

“It’s good so far. It always takes me a while to open up to new group of people, but it’s important for the job to get along with others. Travis was a big help in the beginning, but now I feel like a part of the family. But I don’t think I’ll change stations any time soon, that shit is tiring.” you looked out of the window and saw that you were driving away from the city centre, meaning you’re probably not going to some fancy restaurant for a dinner.

“Yeah changing places sucks. Deployment is hard, even though I always knew someone on the mission, the whole group is made of new people. And just like you said, it’s important to get along with people you work with.”

“Oh I’m such an idiot. Talking about how changing stations sucks, when you change bases on regular. Sorry.” and you really felt like an idiot, he’s in the Navy for fucks sake, of course he knows these things sucks.

“You’re not, it’s hard for everyone, no matter how many times you’ve been through it.” Bradley assured you, gently putting his hand on your thigh and giving it a squeeze.

The conversation went well for the whole drive, that continued in the direction out of the city. After another 15 minutes you started noticing the layout, you were going to the base.

“Are you taking me on tour at your job?” you laughed at that idea, turning to look at Bradley who had a smirk on his face. You took a minute to look at him properly, his sunglasses making it hard for you to see his hazel eyes. His mustache and hair were styled, he had basic black t-shirt with jean shorts and he looked so good. The setting sun making him even prettier with its golden rays shining at his face.

“I told you it’s a surprise, you have to wait baby.” Baby, he called you baby again.

You drove through big security gate until you reached Bradley’s parking spot. He made sure to be quick to open your door and help you out of the bronco.

He held his hand out for you, so you took it an let him lead the way.

“Hey Rooster!” the guy at the front desk waved to Bradley, “and hi to your company.” he said in your direction with a genuine smile on his face.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” you introduced yourself and shook hands with the man who introduced himself as Craig.

“Craig is gonna need your ID to give you a visitor card, is it okay?”

“Of course.” so you took your ID from your purse, handed it to Craig, who gave it back with a visitor card that Bradley pinned to your t-shirt for you.

“Have fun!” you heard Craig when Bradley started to walk you down the hall.

“What does that mean, Bradley?” you were starting to get nervous, you were obviously the only one that didn’t know what’s going to happen and Bradley seemed to enjoy teasing you.

“I’m not going to spoil the surprise just minutes before it happens, why would I do that.” The smirk didn’t leave his face, and the confusion probably didn’t leave yours either.

You two walked through halls full of doors with words on them that you didn’t understand, until Bradley stopped in front of door that said “locker room 3” and opened them for you.

“So, you wait here and I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” you heard Bradley say when you looked around the room and through the window that was facing the side where the runways were.

You turned around and Bradley saw the confusion on your face, because surprises are fun and exciting, but being in unknown place and still not knowing what’s going to happen worried you a little.

“Okay.” You said with touch of worry in your voice.

“Don’t be scared, you’ll love it. I promise.” He made few steps, so he stood close to you and leaned down to kiss your forehead. You smelled his cologne, felt heat radiating from his body and felt his lips gently laying on your forehead.

“You better go and do what you need to do, or I’ll lose my mind.” You said with playful tone, feeling calmer now.

Bradley left the locker room and went into his squads locker room, where he changed into his khaki overall and then run down the hall to check with Nat that everything he asked her to prepare is ready.

She was standing next to Bradley’s aircraft and showing him her thumbs up, meaning everything was covered.

He then grabbed his and one spare helmet for you and made his way back to pick you up.

“I’m here.” You turned to face the door when Bradley started talking and you were sure he caught how your eyes scanned his tall and broad body in that overall. He looked good, really good.

Then you noticed the two helmets in his hands and suddenly you knew what your date is going to be.

“If you think I’m putting that on my head and going in the air with you, you’ll be very disappointed.” You said with a serious face. Not that you would be scared of flying, but big airplane compared to the one Bradley is flying with? Not a chance.

“Oh come on. I’ll be the pilot, you’ll just watch the sun set and the city you haven’t had the chance to explore.” Bradley started walking towards you, he put the helmet on bench next to you and put the spare khaki jacket over your shoulders. “Let’s put this on you, so you’re not cold.” He continued putting that jacket on you.

You took that as a chance to observe his face that was close to yours. His brows were furrowed as he was focused on putting that damn jacket on you. You lowered your gaze on his cheeks where you saw little scars and you almost didn’t stop yourself from touching them with your fingers. You moved your eyes to his pink lips that were slightly open. You really wanted to kiss him again.

“All done, let’s go.” He didn’t wait for your answer and just took both helmets in one of his hands and your hand in his other one.

He led you through another hallway until you reached the hangar, no one in sight, just you two and few aircrafts.

“This is my aircraft. It’s safe, we had weekly check up this morning.” Bradley wanted to make sure you’re not really scared, he wanted you to enjoy it. “You’re gonna sit in the back and won’t have to do anything, okay?” he looked for confirmation in your eyes, making sure you’re listening to what’s going to happen.

“I’ll do the job, you’ll just look at the sunset and the city. Our helmets are connected, we can talk over the mic, so if anything’s wrong or you don’t feel okay, just let me know. Ready?”

“Yeah, ready.” you let Bradley put the helmet on your head and help you inside the aircraft. When he was putting your seatbelts on, you tried not to focus on his hands touching your body over the thin fabric, remembering how they felt on your bare skin just a few days ago.

Once you were both seated, you heard Bradley asking for permission for take off and then you were on your way to the highway.

“Ready?” he asked you through the helmet mic.

“Ready.”

That was enough Bradley needed to put the aircraft in speed and take off from the ground. He heard few “shits” and “oh my gods” from you, but it made him laugh. It was everyday feeling for him, but not for you.

“We’re steady now. You doing okay back there?” he slightly turned to see if you were okay over his shoulder. He got only “mhm” as an answer, because you were busy looking down at the town. You suddenly didn’t feel scared of the height, because the view was breathtaking. You could see your station, the beach or the busy traffic.

“That’s really amazing Bradley.” You couldn’t stop staring at everything that was under you. You felt like up here nothing could hurt you. It was just you and Bradley, and the busy traffic didn’t matter, or that you had work next day didn’t matter.

“Worth the wait?”

“Absolutely.” You continued to fly over the city in comfortable silence, you took some pictures and enjoyed the perfect sunset.

But it wouldn’t be Bradley if he didn’t show you what this aircraft can do, right?

He showed you some maneuvers that got you holding on your seatbelts for your life and finished it with putting the plane in the highest speed.

“I’m gonna throw up if you do that again.” Bradley laughed at your comment.

“And we don’t want that. How about we land and move to our second part of the date?”

“There’s a second part? I’m sorry Bradley I don’t think anything can be better than this.”

“Good thing I’m not competing with myself.”

“Will you tell me what’s the second part or I’ll have to wait again.”

“Do you want me to tell you or do you want it to be surprise?”

“I’d like to know.”

“Dinner at the beach, is that okay with you?”

“More than okay.” You couldn’t help the smile forming on your face. He really is a gentleman and thought this date through.

He landed the plane very smoothly and helped you out of it. After you put the helmet and jacket back in its places, you made your way out to the parking lot.

Craig asked you how you liked the flight, confirming your theory that he knew about Bradley’s plan when you came in.

He laughed when you told him the speed made you sick, telling you you’d get used to it.

Back at the parking lot Bradley opened your door for you again, and after he got in his seat you made your way to the beach.

“It was really amazing Bradley, thank you.” You felt the urge to express your excitement to him, with that you touched his thigh gently with your hand.

“You’re very welcome, hope you’ll allow me to take you in the air again.” He took your hand in his and lifted it to his lips, kissing the palm of your hand oh so gently. “How does Chinese take out sound for you?”

“Good, I’m starving.”

So you went to pick the food and drinks. And while you two waited for your order, Bradley told you he has fruit and snacks in his car. You were actually impressed about what he planned for tonight. You thought he’s gonna take you to some restaurant to get through the date as quick as possible so he could take you to his place and have his way with you, but this made you think he probably really was interested in you.

When you arrived at the beach, you were surprised what amount of fruit and snacks he had in his trunk.

“I didn’t know what you like, so I got more options.” He told you like it was obvious.

He also had blankets and pillows that he made into comfortable place to sit on.

“Why didn’t you wear one of your Hawaiian shirts?” you teased Bradley with your question.

“Hey, you have a problem with my Hawaiian shirts?” he acted like it would offend him if you had a problem with them.

“I don’t, I just never met someone who would like them as much as you.”

“Give it a few more dates and you’ll love them as much as I do.”

“Few more dates huh?” you noticed that Bradley liked saying things like this and it got you all flustered.

“Yeah, I hope you didn’t think it was just a one time thing.” You didn’t know what you thought, you still don’t know Bradley that well to know if he’s serious about you or not.

“I don’t know, you can change your mind after tonight.”

“Can’t think of anything that would make me change my mind about you. I like you and I like spending time with you, I think few more dates will only get me to like you more.

You two finished your dinners and then laid down on the blanket you were sitting on and Bradley put another one over you. You had pillows, but somehow you ended with your head laying on Bradley’s chest.

“Did you became an aviator just because your dad was?” you asked Bradley, not sure if the mention of his dad was appropriate.

“Probably. I wanted to be just like my dad since I was a kid, I thought he was cool, so I wanted to be cool too. And when he died I felt it’s a way to still feel connected to him. It’s fun and it pays well.” He gave an honest answer. “Why did you choose firefighting?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t know what to choose for college and crisis management seemed easy so I picked that and then found a job in that field. It doesn’t pay very well, but it’s fun.”

“It’s dangerous.” Bradley added.

“Says a guy who flights fighting jets for a living.”

“Fair enough.” He laughed at your comment and then comfortable silence took over both of you. You could feel his heartbeat while laying on his chest, while he played with your hair.

The sun was already set, you were laying under the stars, both of you lost in your minds. You had so many questions you wanted to ask him, but you knew you’ll have a chance later, when he takes you out for a few more dates.

“Are you okay? Do you want another blanket or anything?” Bradley asked when he felt the wind around you.

“No, I’m fine.” You told him, his body giving you enough heat to not feel cold. You raised your head a little and looked at him.

He had his eyes closed and peaceful look on his face. He must’ve felt your stare, because he opened his eyes to look back at you.

“What?” he said in a whisper.

“Nothing, I’m just looking at you.” He didn’t know how to answer that, so he just smiled.

You leaned your head closer to his, just enough to feel his hot breath on your cheeks.

You dragged your hand over his chest into his hair, curling your fingers around his curls. Then, you reached to his cheeks, stroking your thumb gently across the scars like you wanted to do earlier. And he let you. He let you explore his face with your hand as he explored every inch of yours with his eyes. You felt something shift between the two of you and suddenly it felt more intimate than seconds before.

You lowered your hand to his lips, your thumb stroking over his lower lip now. He couldn’t stop himself from taking your hand in his and giving your palm a kiss. Then his hand reached for your neck and he pulled you close enough your lips touched.

You shared few innocent kisses, testing each other who will give in first. And he did. His kisses became more needy and his hands reached down to your waist to pull you over so were straddling his lap. He was careful enough to make sure the blanket was over your shoulder while he continued kissing you.

His hands rested on your hips, giving you gentle squeeze once in a while. You pulled away to take some breaths and saw his smirk and chest rising up and down, your make out session having the same effect on both of you.

“I don’t think this position is a good idea.” You whispered into his neck, very much aware that once you or him move, you won’t be able to stop yourself from repeating what happened in Bradley’s car.

He just chuckled and without any warning he turned you over, so you were laying under him.

You first whined at the loss of touch, but seeing him above you like this made for it quickly.

“Better?” he didn’t give you a chance to answer before he connected your lips again.

You felt his hand on your neck, giving you a gentle squeeze to test if you’re okay with it. Your reaction was biting his lip and letting out a small whine only he could hear.

“You like that huh?” he teased you, with his hand still around your neck.

“Shut up.” You kissed him this time. His hand travelled down from your neck to your breasts, where he just gently ran his palm over your shirt, teasing you. He felt your breath stuck in your throat when he did that.

“You’re so responsive baby.” He murmured with his lips still connected with yours.

He slid his hand down your side and you were scared what’s going to be your next reaction if he’s gonna go even lower, but then you felt something wet on your forehead.

It seemed like Bradley felt it too, because he pulled away from you to look around, when another raindrop fell on your forehead.

“It’s raining.” You said.

“Oh god.” Bradley said with disappointment in his voice and dropped his head on your chest.

You didn’t have a time to laugh at his reaction, because second later the rain started pouring down like crazy.

“Oh my god.” Bradley repeated himself and was quick to stand up, his hand already out for you to help you up.

“Pack the food, I’ll get the blankets.” He told you and you both started packing and taking anything you could in your hands to save it from getting wet.

You both run to the parking lot where Bradley’s bronco was parked and when you finally reached the vehicle, both of you very soaked through.

Your hair was all over your face, rain making it stick to your face, but you couldn’t help the smile on your face, it was kind of a funny situation.

Bradley took everything from your hands and threw it in the back of your car, then he opened the passenger door for you and helped you inside. His hands and his touch were hot against your cold skin which sent shivers through your body.

“Fucking weather.” Bradley murmured under his breath when he entered the car and slid behind the wheel. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh Bradley why are you apologizing? You can’t control the weather.” You reassured him you were okay, while he turned the heater on.

“I know, but I didn’t plan on our date ending like this.” He frowned a bit, which made you reach out to touch his forearm.

“It’s okay really, I had fun today.” You rubbed your fingers along his skin and comfortable silence fell over you. You looked out of the window to see the storm still going on strong, the only noises you could hear were the heater and rain falling quickly on windows.

“How do we always end up in my car, hm?” you turned to face Bradley once again after his comment, searching for a hidden meaning behind it.

You saw his smirk, obviously he was referring to what happened in his car the last time. That made your cheeks turn light shade of red, feeling ashamed once again.

“You don’t have to hide baby, I told you it was hot.” Bradley said to you after your head was once again facing the window, still feeling like you made yourself look like a horny teenager when you got off by dry humping his lap.

Bradley gently took your chin in his hand and turned your head to face him and gently stroke his thumb along your jaw.

Your heads were suddenly much closer than just a second ago and Bradley continued exploring your face with his thumb, dragging it from your jaw to your lips. First, he dragged it across your lower lip, before adding a bit of pressure to see if you’re gonna open your mouth for him, and you did.

He looked at your pretty and flustered face, before he leaned in to connect your and his lips.

You quickly gave in, returning kisses to his soft lips. His hand sneaked down from your jaw to your neck where he found comfortable place to hold you. Meanwhile one of your hand made its way to his forearm that was holding your neck, to ground yourself a little.

Bradley’s lips were fighting for dominance, which you gladly gave up. You wanted to see Bradley’s dominant side, so you tried to tease him with a gentle bite to his lower lip. His face turned into a smirk, one that mirrored yours, when he pulled just a tiny bit away to look at your face.

He didn’t feel like he needed to say something, he wanted to speak with his actions. His grip on your neck tightened when he pulled you in again, the kiss a bit harsher now. When he noticed you didn’t mind he added just a bit more pressure to your neck to see your reaction to that.

You liked that, a lot. His tight grip around your neck made your lips open and your breath quicken. He pulled away from you so he could see how you eyes closed and your face turned into something he found very sexy.

“You like that, huh?” he asked you, his voice harsh from not speaking for a while.

Your cheeks turned pink, suddenly feeling exposed. “Yeah.” you whispered back. “Take me to your place?” slipped out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. It was a question, but also a request. You really wanted him to take you to his place and spend the night with him.

“If that’s what you want?” Bradley asked, looking for confirmation.

“Yeah, it is.” He gave you one quick kiss and then turned his attention to the driving wheel.

You took a moment to look at him, his cheeks flustered from the heat of the moment, his hair a mess, which you caused when you let your hand play with it when you kissed him just a minutes ago. Your gaze slid down his body, the bulge in his pants visible to you.

The sight of him had you squeezing your thighs together, hoping his place was a quick drive.

You stopped in front of small, but nice house. The rain finally calmed down, but didn’t stop fully, so when Bradley opened your door you two jogged to his entrance.

“You can take a shower and change into some of my dry clothes.” Bradley told you after he closed the door behind you.

He was facing you, his chest going up and down while drops of water ran down his face, his neck and then under the t-shirt he was wearing, that you really wanted to take off of him.

“Sure.” you replied and he took your hand to lead you upstairs where his bathroom was.

He opened the second door on the left and turned the light above his sink on.

“Here’s the bathroom, give me a minute and I’ll be back with the clothes for you.”

You didn’t have time to reply, so you stood there looking around. There wasn’t anything except one toothbrush, toothpaste and soap on the sink. Next to it were hangers for towels and opposite the sink was a big white laundry basket. The main thing of Bradley’s bathroom was the big shower stall separated with glass wall from the rest of the room. Simple, which made sense when there is one man living alone.

“Here you go. T-shirt, shorts and underwear for you.” There was Bradley standing with a pile of clothes in his hands.

“Thank you.” you went to grab the things from his hands and felt your fingers touch his while doing so. The lust in both of you was like an unspoken thing at that moment, but screaming so loud at the same time. Both of you wanted to jump in that shower together, but none of had a courage to say it loud.

You were staring at each other for a moment before Bradley took three steps towards you, kneeled down and opened one of the cabinets under the sink. He took out a white towel and stood up. While he did all of that, he never broke eye contact with you. You literally saw this man on his knees in front of you.

“And here.” he said just a bit louder that a whisper, still standing very very close to you.

“Thank you.” you said in return and went to grab the white fabric from Bradley’s hands. Your hands connected once again, but this time both of you left them in place, neither of you letting go of that towel. You scanned his face to see any sign of what’s going on in his head, but you only saw his eyes jump from your eyes to your lips.

And when Bradley saw your lips turn into a smirk, obviously noticing where his eyes were wandering, he leaned down and connected his lips with yours.

His kisses were different this time, more hungry.

“I need to take a shower.” you whispered against his lips.

“Mhm.” with a nod was Bradley’s answer before he took your t-shirt out of your black pants, “Let me help you.” he leaned back just a bit so he could pull the t-shirt over your head, throwing it somewhere behind you.

His hands were back your body, now touching nothing but your skin on your lower back. You were cold from the rain, but Bradley’s hands were hot, his touch warming you up even without trying.

You started tugging his t-shirt off too, watching with open mouth when he took it off and you saw his naked upper body. His chest was wide and muscular, and then there was his stomach that ended with sharp V line leading to his pants.

He didn’t give you much time to stare as he went to kiss your jaw while already stripping your pants off. You kicked them off and went for his belt, both of you eager to get to the shower.

“Can I?” Bradley’s hands traced the back of your bra.

“Yes.” and it was your turn to kiss his neck, while your nads wandered down his torso, teasing the line of his boxers.

He took your bra off and your right hand went to touch his hard dick through the fabric of his boxers. You heard his breath stop for a bit, smiling to yourself for the reaction you got from him.

He didn’t waist any time and went to grab both of your boobs, while you already started taking his underwear off.

When you were both naked, he walked you backwards into the big shower and started the water.

You had a minute to scan his naked body and had to clench your thighs together from the view. Water started dripping down his body, making him even more hot.

“What you’re thinking about?” Bradley asked you when he caught you staring.

“That I prefer sex in bed, but I’m starting to really like this.” you pointed your finger in his direction and then to his big shower.

“We don’t have to have sex here, we can just take a shower and then move to my bedroom.” he made sure to point out the ‘then’ and started moving towards you.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You enjoyed Bradley’s hands on your body in the shower, he made sure to wash every curve on your body, leaving kisses on your shoulders every once in a while. And then you really like to wash his body too, feeling his hard but also soft body under your hands. Bradley was true to his words, nothing but a few stolen kisses in the shower.

He took his time drying you with the towel he left on the sink and didn’t even bother to dry himself, before he took you in his hands and ma his way to his bedroom.

Bradley gently laid you on his bed and put himself on his elbows so he wouldn’t fully lay on you.

“If there’s something you don’t like or want me to do, just tell me. Okay?” he wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with him, enough to tell him that you don’t like what he does.

“Okay.” and with that he kissed your jaw and then for your neck. His free hand wandered down your body until he took one breast in his hand and started gently toying with it. Neck kisses and his fingers playing with your nipple were enough for you to slip out a little moan.

Bradley moved his lips to your other breast and started sucking on your skin, finding your other nipple in seconds.

When he felt you lift your hips in desperate try to get some fraction where you needed it the most, he moved his hand to push your hips back into the matters and slowly moved his mouth closer to where you wanted him.

He took his time with teasing you, giving you kisses on your thighs, gently biting you few times.

“Bradley, please.” and he didn’t need more. Hearing his name from your lips was enough for him to not let you wait for another minute.

He held your thighs open and licked you from your hole up to your clit.

“Fuck.” he heard you moan. His lips found your clit and he changed between sucking and licking on it. He paid attention to which of his movements made you hold your breath or moan his name so he could do them again and again.

Your hand slipped down into his hair and he couldn’t help but groan when you tugged on it. He liked it.

He kept going from licking your wet hole to sucking on your clit, but when he started fucking you with his tongue you felt the orgasm build in your lower belly.

“Yes Bradley, don’t stop.” and he didn’t, he kept his pace to get you to your high. When the orgasm hit you, you squeezed his head with your thigs, but that didn’t stop him from licking you few more times through your high.

He gently kissed your tummy and chest while making his way up to your face. Your eyes stayed closed, still coming down from your orgasm. He loved to see you flustered like this. When you opened your eyes and saw his smirk, you pulled him down to kiss you. You could taste yourself on his lips.

You pushed him over so you could straddle his thighs. Bradley put both of his hands behind his head and enjoyed the view he had.

You made sure to watch his face when you touched his dick, stroking the tip with your fingers.

“Oh fuck!” Bradley groaned and closed his eyes. “I’m not gonna last long like this baby.”

But you wanted to taste him, so before he could turn you both over, you leaned down and took him in your mouth. Another groan left his lips and you started to move your hand up and down while your hand played with the base of his cock.

He let you suck him for a few minutes, but then he needed to be inside you. He gently pulled you away from his member by your hair until you were facing him.

Between kisses he managed to turn you over again and you felt him collect your wetness before he pushed into you.

“Fuck.” Bradley groaned and his head fell to the crook of your neck. You only managed to open your mouth and roll your eyes to the back of your head at the feeling of him inside you.

You felt full, full of Bradley. He started moving after a while, making your head spin.

When you got a hold of yourself, you put your hands on his shoulders, squeezing him to encourage him to keep moving.

“You feel so good.” Bradley told you and then put his lips on yours.

His pace was steady, trying to last as long as he could. Until he heard you say “Harder Bradley, please.”

His hips slapped into yours, the only thing you could hear was skin on skin. Your mouth both open at this point, moaning into each other’s mouths and grabbing at each other’s body.

“I’m gonna cum baby.” Bradley said and you felt your second orgasm build up too.

Bradley felt you squeeze your walls around him, knowing your gonna cum too.

“Open your mouth.” you did as he told you and he put his two fingers in your mouth to suck on them. Then he gently lowered his hand on your clit and started moving them in small circles.

“Oh god!” was what you said before orgasm took over your body and all you could hear were Bradley’s grunts into your ear. Then you felt his hot cum on your belly and then Bradley’s body next to you.

There was silence for a few minutes, both of you still coming off from your highs.

You went to sit up, but Bradley stopped you “I’m gonna get a towel to clean you up and bring you the clothes.” and before he went to the bathroom he kissed your forehead.

------------------------

“Do you want to stay the night or want me to drop you home?” Bradley asked you just when you slipped the spoon with ice cream into your mouth. After you got dressed he took you down for a sweet snack.

“Oh I don’t want to be a bother, you can drop me home or I can call Travis to pick me here.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“You’re not a bother, you can stay if you want.”

“I don’t have my things for sleepover, but maybe next time?” you were surprised with yourself, being this bold and presuming there is going to be a next time.

“Sleepover and a second date? I’m in.”

----------------------

“Did you have sex with Mr. Sexy aviator?” Travis was in your face the second you closed your front door.

You and Bradley finished the ice cream and then he drove you to your place. It was 11PM and kind of hoped that Travis would be asleep so you could get away without this interrogation.

“Hi Travis. Yes the date was really nice, he took me to see and fly his plane and then we had romantic dinner at the beach. Thanks for asking.” you said with irony.

“You can give me those details later, did you have sex with that man?”

“Yes.”

“YES! Finally.”

“You’re acting like I haven’t touched a man in a decade.”

“Well, have you?” Travis said playfully.

“Shut up.” you pushed Travis out of your way and went to your room.

“I’m glad the date was nice!” you heard Travis yell after you, laughing at his reaction to the whole thing.

Later that night you caught yourself smiling while brushing your teeth. Because Travis was kinda right, this was your date after long time. A decent and very nice date.

You heard new notification on your phone, so you reached for it to see new message from Bradley.

“Thank you for tonight, hope I can take you out again. Good night xx.”

-----------------------------------------------

Taglist: @emma8895eb @iamabeautifulperson18 @eternallyvenus @luckyladycreator2

[innuendostudios]

oh lookie another bite-sized Alt-Right Playbook. back me on Patreon plz.

transcript below the thingy.

Say, for the sake of argument, you’re twelve or thirteen, it’s the mid-90’s, you’re sitting across the table from your conservative aunt at a family reunion. (This aunt will, a decade from now, become a Tea Partier.) You have - you sweet, innocent child - brought up the subject of evolution, being too young to know it’s politicized, and your aunt has not taken well to it. She goes on one of her classic tirades, dismissing the very concept of evolution as patently ridiculous, dropping a quote that will stick with you for ages: “You can’t get snakes from chicken eggs.” And you do your best to explain, with your limited knowledge-base, that, yeah, you can only get a snake from a snake egg, but that snake is going to be a little different from its parents, and the next snake will be a little different from its parents, and you multiply that by a few million generations and you might have something very different from that original snake. Maybe something with legs, or that can breath underwater, or see better in the dark!

And your aunt stares you dead in the windows of your soul and repeats, “You Can’t Get Snakes From Chicken Eggs.”

This is an ego-saving maneuver in which a complex truth is rejected in favor of simplicity. Your aunt has a statement that is true, though non sequitur to the argument at hand. And, after your explanation of how genetics work on long timelines, she repeats her original statement to herself and it still feels true. It’s the belief that the truth is easily recognized, and that it’s always simple, because the world is simple, and, if you can’t explain it to me like I’m five, then you’re probably wrong or making things up.

This heuristic very hard to argue with. You’ve heard that same aunt claim the hole in the ozone layer is caused by sunspots. Now, we’ve talked about the memetic power of statements that are short, quippy, and wrong, and this is a fine example. You might feel the correct response is a statement that is short, quippy, and correct, but here’s the conundrum: the truth is “the hole in the ozone layer is caused by chlorofluorocarbons.” Not only is that a more complex sentence, it’s a more complex idea. If the ozone hole is caused by sunspots, then it’s probably been happening for billions of years, it’s not caused by humans, and we don’t have to do anything about it. It’s reassuring, and tells folks all they care to know without further questions. But the truth of how aerosols deplete ozone is more complex, not least because, even without knowing the science of it, it implies it’s a problem we should do something about.

Ultraviolet light makes CFCs release chlorine into the stratosphere, where it bonds with ozone, converting it into oxygen and chlorine monoxide, neither of which do what ozone does to protect us from the sun. There may be people who can explain that more simply than I just did, but there’s a floor to how simple the truth can be and still be the truth. Falsehoods don’t have that. There is no limit on how simple an idea can be when it doesn’t have to conform to reality.

You play the game of “who’s got the simplest argument,” liars win every time. You can’t get much simpler than “sunspots.” But if you can convince people that the world is complex, then simplistic explanations, across the board, become suspect. It might be too late to do that with your aunt, but maybe there’s still hope for your cousins.

If you’re wondering what they do when confronted with something they cannot deny is complicated: well, that’s your fault. You, or someone like you, took their simple world and overcomplicated it. All the conspiracy theories and fingerpointing and screenshots they’ve squiggled over in MS Paint, all of that is the story of how you overcomplicated the world; it fills in the gap between the simplicity of the world they believe in and the unambiguous complexity of the one in which we live. And, yes, that story is at least as complex as the truth you’re trying to tell them, and, no, it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s a detail. Because the moral of that story is incredibly simple: it is this way because some people made it this way, and all they have to do is take the power back from those people and things can be simple again. This is their version of “a wizard did it.”

[storiesofsvu]

A Misunderstanding

Amanda Rollins x reader no real warnings, just some jealousy and Amanda over thinking.

Amanda had heart eyes for you from the moment you popped up in the squad room, you were an expert in your field, consulting with the squad and she could barely tear her gaze away from you while you explained your thoughts on the case. You were like her own personal ray of sunshine in an otherwise very dull and dark world of heinous crimes, the sparkle behind your eyes, the slight upcurve of your lips whenever you got the nod of approval from someone, it was enough to make her completely forget about where she was. She was absolutely captivated by you, butterflies in her stomach, her heart rate picking up every time you walked into the room, she found herself suggesting to reach out to you on more cases as time went on.

She simply couldn’t resist you.

First you only came when called, when they needed your expertise on a case or when they knew you’d get through to a witness or victim better than any of them. You’d come in a little rushed, pulled from whatever else was going on in your day, quickly scanning through documents and the case board while the squad got you up to speed. Amanda was amazed at just how quickly you could absorb the information, letting it settle in your brain before flashing Olivia a glittering smile and asking her where you were needed.

Then one day you lingered in Olivia’s office, the door shut behind you as the two of you chatted, laughing together, bright smiles on your faces and Amanda couldn’t help the heavy feeling in her gut. While you were friendly with the whole squad, you were friendlier with Olivia, more comfortable around her, your guard was down and when you went to leave that day it almost looked like the two of you were about to hug.

The next week you popped by unannounced. It was a quiet day in the squad room, paperwork, catching up on files and otherwise dicking around to kill time. It was clear you hadn’t come from work, you were much more casual, a cute pair of jean shorts and a loose tee hanging from your frame as you walked into the room, bright smile on your face. Amanda caught your eye first and she could have sworn your smile got brighter when she did,

“Brought your fave.” You greeted, dropping a coffee mug onto her desk with a wink, she barely got a thank you out before you were dropping a box of baked goods onto Fin’s desk, “and don’t worry, I didn’t forget about the rest of you, or that Fin gets first dibs.”

You flashed them a wicked smile before you disappeared into Olivia’s office, the door half shut behind you. Amanda watched for a moment as this time, you did greet each other with a hug before you settled across the desk from her, pulling take out boxes from the bag you’d come in with. She scowled at first, wondering what it was about Olivia that was so enticing, what the older woman had that she didn’t. Then she frowned over the obvious age gap, wondering how Olivia made peace with the fact that you were so much younger than her, even if this was just in the flirtation stage she never pegged Liv for the type. The moment the coffee hit her tongue though, all was forgotten. You not only had gotten her exact favourite flavour, you’d picked it up from her personal favourite, mom and pop owned coffee shop, the place that made it a million times better than any chain ever could.

The next time she saw you was when you were called in for a consult, it was clear you were a little under the weather, your voice hoarse when you spoke, the bags under your eyes making it obvious you hadn’t been getting enough sleep, a thick sweater wrapped around your body while you worked. She wanted to take you home, tuck you into the couch with the fuzziest blanket and let you nap, getting the best snuggles from Frannie while she made chicken noodle soup for you to feel better. Instead after you finished talking with a victim, Olivia was passing off a steaming mug of tea, urging that it was completely okay for you to take off early, you needed the rest and she wanted to make sure you got better fast. While she watched it was more than apparent that the two of you were comfortable around each other, that you’d spent time together outside of work. There were glances, a shoulder squeeze, small smiles that you communicated through rather than words and it made her see green. She still wasn’t sure if it went both ways, there was something in the way you looked at Olivia, like she was your guiding light, your guardian angel, someone you respected and cared about, yet there was something in the air that made Amanda feel like you were a little lovestruck puppy. Occasionally she’d catch Liv brushing you off, or shutting down a theory of yours on a case and even though it was only a flash of a moment, a look of dejection would cross your face. It made her wonder, digging herself deeper into this hole in her brain, deeper into her infatuation with you, that if Olivia didn’t want you, she was ready and willing and right in front of you. That she would treat you a million times better than the brunette could even dream of.

A few weeks later, she’d been having a rough go, needing some time alone to decompress from the week, have a couple of drinks and divulge into some deep fried food to distract her. Olivia had offered to pick up Jesse from daycare, she was long overdue a playdate with Noah anyways and Amanda was grateful as ever to the other woman, not having to call the nanny at the last minute. Feeling refreshed and destressed she swung by Olivia’s apartment, knocking gently on the door in case either of the kids had happened to fall asleep early. As soon as the door swung open the smile fell from her face, her brows furrowing at the sight of you inside Olivia’s apartment.

“Detective Rollins,” You greeted, a small smile on your cheeks, a little out of breath, “oh my gosh this makes so much sense, I should’ve realized you were Jesse’s mom.”

“What… are you doing here?” She asked, realizing a little too late that she was potentially pushing the boundaries of being offensive, glancing around the apartment behind you.

“Oh, I swung by to see Liv, drop off a couple of things, Noah suckered me into staying for a few rounds of snakes and ladders.” You shrugged, stepping back to let her into the apartment.

“Didn’t realize you’d met Noah.” She muttered half under her breath, letting the door swing shut behind her, “where is Liv?”

“She had to run out, something about work.” You let out a huff of a laugh, brushing your hair off your face, “I hope it’s okay she left the kids with me.” You nearly winced, watching the way she glanced through the apartment, “I watch Noah pretty regularly when the nanny’s not available or it’s super last minute. I live around the corner so it’s easier for her to call me in the middle of the night when a case breaks.” She followed you down the hallway to the living room, “we played some games, did a bunch of reading, put together some puzzles and had dinner.” You turned back to her with a small smile, “grilled cheese, tomato soup and extra veggies on the side. Jesse’s a real broccoli fiend.” You giggled and Amanda felt her heart swell at the sound, this was bad, very bad, there was no way she could be this into someone who was this wrapped up in someone else’s life.

“I didn’t know you and Liv were so close.” She commented and you chuckled.

“Well, I mean—”

You were instantly cut off when Noah and Jesse glanced up from the television, shrieks of glee echoing through the apartment, “Auntie Amanda!”

“Mommy!”

They both raced toward you, Jesse launching up into her arms while Noah settled for a tight half hug before wrapping around you and you scooped him up, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“You have fun tonight?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He replied with a yawn, “even if Jesse did beat me at board games.”

“Well she is a real quick thinker, isn’t she.” You replied with a smile, tickling at her side briefly and she let out an adorable giggle. Noah yawned again, starting to bury his head into the crook of your neck and you chuckled, leaving a kiss on the top of his head before putting him down on his feet, “okay mister, you’re tired, time for pj’s and teeth brushed.”

“And bedtime stories?”

“And bedtime stories.” You assured him.

“Are you sleeping over tonight?” He asked and you shrugged.

“Dunno. I’ll have to talk to your mom.”

Amanda felt the pit lurch in her stomach as Jesse scrambled out of her arms to grab her things and say goodbye to Noah before he disappeared down the hallway.

“She’s a real gem.” You commented, pulling her back to reality, “you know, if you ever need a last minute sitter, just let me know, I’d be happy to help out.”

“Yeah.” She managed a small smile, “thanks.”

Amanda had trouble sleeping that night, instead of falling asleep to the thoughts of taking you out for dinners, curling up on the couch together, fantasizing about the love the two of you could have, she kept thinking about you in Olivia’s bed. Every time she closed her eyes she felt sick to her stomach, eventually having to get up and turn on some mindless reality television to attempt to distract her.

A week later she was out walking Frannie, wandering the streets of Manhattan while the dog got to explore the city. Things had been rather quiet at work recently, no surprise pop ups or guests in the squad room and while that did bum her out a bit, it had at least helped her stop thinking about you and Olivia. If she didn’t see the two of you together she could separate you, calm her jealousy down a little bit and only catch herself daydreaming about you instead. This crush was driving her insane and she knew it. She was waiting at a street corner, wondering if she should just call you to babysit Jesse and then find some excuse to come home early when movement in the window of a restaurant across the street caught her attention.

It was a nice Italian place; she’d been on a couple of dates there and knew both how extensive and pricey the menu was. Yet, right there at a table for two right against the glass were you and Olivia, warm smiles on your faces, bottle of fancy red wine sitting between the two of you. She watched as the server came by to leave the check and you quickly snagged it from Olivia’s hands, passing off your credit card and Liv didn’t seem to have a care in the world that you were footing the bill. Luckily before she could get too pissed, Frannie barked, tugging her in the opposite direction and she decided it was best to follow her lead instead.

If you had asked, she would say she wasn’t sure how much time had passed since she’d seen you, but she knew it had been exactly seventeen days. Seventeen days that she’d see Olivia smiling at her phone and wonder if it was you texting her, seventeen days of watching Liv leave work early, or come in a little late, seventeen days of Liv being able to have a drink or grab a bite after work because someone was watching Noah and she didn’t need to worry about paying overtime.

So on day eighteen when you paced through the squad room straight into Olivia’s office she couldn’t help but eavesdrop. You had dry cleaning in one hand that you draped over the back of a chair as you said something about two different flavours of cupcakes and a special gluten free dessert for Noah’s bake sale, the bag in your other hand coming to sit on the same chair. Olivia barely looked up from her work, muttering a quick thanks before asking if you could pick up Noah after a ballet class that night. You replied with an enthusiastic ‘of course’ before she gestured to the computer in front of her and you let out a breath of a laugh, nodding and said you’d see her after dinner and quickly swung out of her office. Though you did pause briefly to flash Amanda a glittering smile, the sparkle in your eye making her heart leap in her chest.

She waited until the elevator doors slid shut and you vanished from the precinct before pushing back her chair. As much as she knew she shouldn’t stick her nose in other people’s business, she couldn’t handle it anymore, she had to say something. She quickly knocked on Olivia’s office door, swinging it shut behind her.

“Got a minute?”

“Yeah, what’s up Rollins?” She glanced up from her work, sliding her glasses off as she folded her arms on her desk.

“You are seriously out of line. You’ve got her running your errands now? Picking up dry cleaning, Liv, come on it’s getting ridiculous.”

“What?” She laughed, leaning back in her chair and that only egged Amanda on even further, letting out a frustrated groan.

“She likes you, so much, and you’re sitting there taking advantage of it! I mean, dropping off coffee when she’s coming in to consult is fine, but coming in on days off with food, dropping everything to babysit Noah last minute, or in the middle of the night? Not to mention those cupcakes look homemade, it’s like she’ll do anything for you and you barely say thank you.”

“Amanda…” She laughed again, “I paid her, for all of the above and she loves spending time with Noah.”

“That really doesn’t make things better! Why is she footing the bill at fancy restaurants when your salary is clearly more than hers, and don’t even get me started on the fact that she’s like, twenty years younger than you.”

Olivia’s head tilted, her brow furrowing as she started to realize what the blonde was getting at, a small smirk on her lips before she spoke, “I’m starting to think you’ve got the wrong idea about this.”

“Oh? What?” She scoffed, “you’re not using her and this is actually what a healthy relationship looks like?”

“I’m not in a relationship or even considering having one with her. Trust me.”

“What’d you mean, why?” It was Amanda’s turn to be confused, she could feel her heart starting to hammer in her chest.

“Well for starters… she’s twenty years younger than me.” Liv chuckled, “secondly, she’s my goddaughter.”

“Oh god.” Amanda felt her cheeks flushing as she dropped her face into her hands, wishing she could shrink into a little ball to never be seen again.

“But I have a feeling this is more than just you wanting to call me out about inappropriate relationships.” She chuckled, grinning as the younger woman dropped into the empty chair. “Someone’s jealous.”

“I—” Amanda shot her a glare before sighing, “yeah, okay. I just… you guys spend so much time together, you’re so comfortable with each other and now that makes more sense. It just seems like she’d do anything for you.”

“And that drove you a little wild because you would do anything for her.”

“Oh it’s not that—”

“Amanda, please. I’ve seen the way you look at her, you’re all heart eyes with your head in the clouds.” She teased, “and for what it’s worth, she helps out so much because I picked her up from school every day when she was a kid. She’s just trying to pay it back now that she’s the one that has more free time. And she does get paid for it.”

“Sorry…” Amanda mumbled, the embarrassment returning to flood through her body.

“How about instead of whining about it in my office like a love sick teenager you go tell her how you feel, ask her to dinner?”

“What?” Her head shot up, eyes wide as her heart hammered in her chest and Olivia laughed, “I can’t! I mean, there’s no way she’d say yes.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” Olivia grinned, “she won’t shut up about how much she likes you. So go,” she waved her off, “just treat her right or you’ll hear from me.”

*

You were standing in front of the open fridge in your kitchen, trying to figure out what you could scrape up for dinner when there was a knock on your apartment door. Your head tilted in the direction of the sound, wondering who would be paying a visit as you swung the fridge door shut and padded down the hallway.

“Amanda?” You greeted, flashing her a smile once the confusion wore off, “you need something?”

“I, uh… sorry. I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“No, not at all.” You laughed softly, stepping back from the door to let her into the apartment, “I was just trying to decide on dinner but my fridge is pretty bare.”

“Oh! You know, I think I might have something to help with that.”

“Yet you’re empty handed?” You raised a brow, the corner of your mouth curving up.

“We could go out.” She stuttered slightly, shrugging, “I mean, god…this is so awkward.” She laughed, feeling the heat creeping into her cheeks as your stomach started doing flips, wondering if you were reading the situation wrong or not. “Would you.. like to go for dinner? With me?”

“I would love to.” Your face burst into a grin, “like, right now?”

“Uh, yeah.” She giggled, “I think if I bailed now Liv might kill me.”

“Oh please don’t tell me she gave you some kind of lecture or warning.” You groaned, “I honestly don’t know if it’s the cop thing or the godmother thing, but she’s always been a little overprotective.”

“She just worries, and I’m sure she wants what’s best for you.”

“And if that happens to be you?” You boldly stepped toward her with a soft smile and Amanda felt the blush creeping up her cheeks.

“I’m uh… not sure.” She laughed awkwardly, pulling another one from you.

“It’s alright.” You leant in, your perfume invading her senses as you squeezed at her hand and pressed a feather light kiss to her cheek, “you’ve already got the seal of approval.”

“Really?”

“Of course.” Turning from her for a moment you grabbed your jacket and scooped up your keys, “how do you feel about Thai?”

With a wicked grin that made Amanda’s heart beat faster, you grabbed her hand, fingers lacing between hers as you locked the apartment door and lead her to the elevator.

Olivia smiled brightly the next time you showed up at the precinct, beelining directly for Amanda’s desk, placing down a cup of coffee and a takeout container as you perched on the edge of her desk. It was small, the affection going unnoticed by anyone else in the room, but there was no doubt that both of you were completely infatuated with each other. Neither of you able to control the smiles on your cheeks, the small laughter as you playfully teased each other. When Amanda had to get back to work you quickly glanced around the squad room before sneaking a quick kiss, waving to Olivia through the window before you left the detective to do her work.

As it turned out, all you had needed was a little nudge from Olivia to make what happened to be one of the best decisions of your life. You quickly became part of Amanda’s daily routine, whether it was getting ready together in the morning, a quick coffee or lunch break during the day or dinner out in the city. It didn’t take very long until you were the one picking up Jesse, having dinner ready and waiting on the table when Amanda got home from work, something that she absolutely loved and wouldn’t have any other way.

Getting to come home to her girls on a daily basis made her happier than she had ever been before, she knew just how loved she was and just how much you loved her in return. A little misunderstanding had lead to absolute perfection.

________________

@mickey-gomez @hbkpop @bisexualcrowley @red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @lesbianspacecowboy @whispered-tear-drops @wannabe-fic-reader @gaylorrds @whimsicallymad @beccabarba @screenee @mysticfalls01 @alexbllake @infernumlilith @australiancarisi @wandas-wife @emskisworld @disn3y7 @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @sia2raw @dxtery @anlin2058 @swimmingstudentchaos891 @itisdoctortoyousir @softgamerking @summergeezburr @alexxavicry @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @7thavenger @m00nkn1ghts @sapphicprentiss @geekyandgay98 @onmykneesformarvel @aws-l @akingcalledkris @desperate-gay @kalixxh @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble

[woodsborostabathon]

Liv McKenzie and/or Charlie Walker for the character thing!

ohhh the blorbos...

liv mckenzie:

what i like: first of all she is fine as HELL- who said that! anywho. well her look is definitely part of it bc aside from being down abysmal like on a Vincent Himself level i do fw the whole girly vaguely alt vibe they had going with her. she is also funny as hell like sm of her lines absolutely kill me. her interaction w mindy at the party esp comes to mind like i'm so obsessed w the way she was moving there. stomped in mad as hell bc she can't have sex and can't get a ride home, threatened mindy's life, took her chips??? and left. one thing that girl could NEVER be is boring!!!

what i don't: the utter lack of screentime she had. go girl give us nothing! which also means they could not really give her much of a personality </3 like i adore liv i do. had to make up a million things abt her by myself tho bc god knows RS wasn't gonna do it. she worked the HELL outta the like 3 minutes she had. but she still had like 3 minutes (esp since they cut the scene w her n vince!!!) 😭

charlie walker:

what i like: first of all he is ALSO fine as HELL- ahem. well. again aside from the fact that he's one of the finest gfs to grace this franchise. his brutality as ghostface hands down has gotta be my favorite thing. he was doing it all too like!!! charles lee walker THEE single mom who works two jobs who loves her kids and never stops. bc j*ll sure as hell was not helping that boy. but he was up at the crack of dawn staging crime scenes and making ghostface calls before the first bell of the school day even rang! and then somehow still had the energy and mf SPEED ig to practically teleport around woodsboro n keep killing people!! he absolutely decimated olivia for kinda zero reason (tho in record time gutting and all) but he did what is EASILY my fave kill of the entire franchise flawlessly. dare i say i like him better than the og-*i am shot*

what i don't: Man. does the way he died count. bc that is precisely it 😭 ig everyone's gotta have their Silly Goofy STUPID moments but charlie was op as all hell and then just let himself get stabbed + did the worm on the floor of kirby's kitchen + died there. and for J*LL????? HER???????? it's the one thing i can never get past. esp when it gets him stuck w the 'pathetic lovesick gullible lapdog' perception among the fandom but that's not even rlly a Him problem as it is an Everyone Else thing. also maybe the pettiest complaint ever but i cringe a little whenever he calls himself the new randy. because i literally cannot STAND ran-

[nukaberries]

Ahh im so happy to find a blog that writes new vegas! I got into it recently and its so fun! Sometimes i get tired of hearing the radio especially if im travelling way too much, so i just start singing any song that pops into my head or talk to the companions like they're real pfft

im also way too cheery for my own good lmao, game devs knew what they were doing when there was no push button for running, you know how many times i ran into mines and kept running 🧍🏽

I kinda wanna know how the companions would react to that? A Courier who practically bounces as they walk and if its not the radio or them talking to fill the silence, its them singing as they shoot radscorpions !! Couriers not half bad at singing either! They mostly sing quietly while walking the mojave for obvious reasons but on a night they feel especially safe, they'll be singing so well people will wonder why they're not making holotapes for mr new vegas to play (esp if they say the radio gets annoying at times)im sorry this is long im just excited to see a new vegas writer that hasnt left their blog 🤧

I'm SO late to this one, I'm so sorry! But I'm so glad you're enjoying New Vegas! It's tied with Red Dead Redemption 2 as one of my favourite video games! And I'm exactly the same when I play New Vegas, the radio's never off and I have no spatial awareness. I hope this was worth the wait!! (Sorry again lmao)

//

Companions React to a Loud/Chatty Courier (Includes: Arcade, Boone, Cass, Lily, Raul and Veronica)

Arcade Gannon Admittedly, he's a little intimidated at first. He agrees to go with the Courier since there's no point in him sticking around Freeside where he's not helping anyone. He just doesn't realise he's taken up with the most obnoxious person in the West. He's not annoyed by any means, in fact, the singing is actually quite a nice change from the radio. The constant talking is a little overwhelming for him at first though, as someone whose trying his best to keep his past with the Enclave a secret. He knows the Courier means no harm, and he feels a little guilty having to shut down their questions about him, knowing that they only mean well. They do bring out a different side to him he didn't know he had and he sometimes finds himself humming along to either the radio or Six's singing.

Craig Boone At first, he's annoyed by the Courier, but it's not like he has anything better to do. They're his best chance at wiping out the Legion, even if their incessant talking and singing is a little too much for him. He doesn't have a problem with them, but he prefers silence to having to begrudgingly answer someone who talks at a million miles per hour. The only time he'll really voice his complaints is when he actually needs them to be quiet, such as if they're trying to stealthily take out enemies, thankfully the Courier seems to know when to turn off their radio and stop singing. Eventually, the constant chatter and the singing - that he'll never admit is actually enough to rival the radio songs - become background noise he learns to appreciate. He'll never join in with the Courier's singing, but he tries his best to answer their questions and respond to their comments.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy Cass is another one who can't stand the Courier's chatter and singing at first, however, she's more than willing to voice this. A few times, she actually hid the Courier's Pip-Boy while they slept, unfortunately for Cass, they'd already memorised all the lyrics to Johnny Guitar and sung that on repeat for most of the day. It was starting to reach the point where Cass was certain they were doing it on purpose. The singing she hated, but the talking? She didn't mind the talking. In fact, Cass actually looked forward to the talking, she often struggled to make friends, considering her problems with whiskey, so it was nice to just make conversation sometimes. Sure, she'd still keep trying to put an end to the singing, no matter how good it was, but the talking Cass could live with.

Lily Bowen The first time Lily started travelling with the Courier, she was thrilled. Everyone in Jacobstown took life a little too seriously and being with the Courier was a refreshing change for her. Unlike most of the other companions, Lily actually loves the singing and the talking. She'll even suggest that the Courier tries their hand at singing on the Strip, the Tops and the Atomic Wrangler are always looking for new acts after all. Lily will even try and sing along with them, before realising her voice doesn't exactly compliment or rival the Courier's, but so long as they encourage to join in, she always will. The talking is just as lovely for her, it's nice to know that the Courier still cares about their grandma, even if they are growing up so fast.

Raul Tejada Never in all his years of being alive has he met someone like the Courier. It was one thing that they managed to deal with Tabitha, but the fact that they did it with Radio New Vegas playing on full blast from their Pip-Boy? Raul wasn't sure whether to be impressed or absolutely terrified. He leans more towards the latter once he starts travelling with them, struggling to keep up with the Courier constantly asking him questions about where he's from and what his life was like before the war and how he turned ghoul. Like Arcade, Raul finds it overwhelming and eventually asks politely if the Courier can calm down a little with all the questions, thankful when they actually oblige. He learns to love the Courier in spite of their loud habits, even being happy to fix their Pip-Boy when it stops letting them connect to the radio stations. It's against his better judgement, but they seem grateful for it.

Veronica Santangelo She immediately bonds with the Courier over their love for Radio New Vegas. Veronica wishes she had her own Pip-Boy so she could listen to the radio in her own free time, since lugging a radio around the Mojave Desert doesn't seem like the best idea. She absolutely loves the Courier's singing too, insisting that they don't forget her once they make it big in some bar in New Reno. She also tries her best to be the Courier's backup singer when wandering the wasteland, however, she accidentally stumbles up on a lot of her lyrics and trying to pronounce "Agua Fria" at the start of Big Iron quickly becomes the bane of her existence. Veronica also loves to gossip with the Courier, about her love life - and the Courier's if they're willing to disclose it - and all her least favourite things about her commanding officers in the Brotherhood. Whenever she travels with Six, Veronica manages to get a lot of off her chest

[bumblesimagines]

Olivia Baker 

a lot of things have happened since we broke up.

you look really good. i'm happy for you.

i'll regret saying this, but i still have love for you.

a lot of things have happened since we broke up.

you look really good. i'm happy for you.

i'll regret saying this, but i still have love for you.

Pronouns: They/Them/Their, Gender Neutral!Reader

"Let me guess," Spencer spoke up suddenly, fingers unscrewing the cap of a cool water bottle. You lifted your head, dragging your eyes away from your laptop and onto the boy in question. You'd hardly had any time to get to know the newest football team member despite having a brother and a best friend on the team, and now that'd you gotten assigned to him for a project, you wished you'd introduced yourself sooner. 

"Are you going to psychoanalyze me again, Spencer?" You asked with a small grin. "Maybe you should become a therapist."

"Uh-huh." He chuckled and shook his head, taking a few gulps of his water before setting it aside and bracing his arms on the island counter. Spencer squinted at you playfully and rubbed his fingers over his chin. "Coach and Mrs. Baker looked surprised when you showed up, which makes me think you know their family more than you let on." 

A quiet chuckle escaped you and you nodded, gazing back at your laptop. Your eyes skimmed the words but your mind drifted elsewhere, somewhere back in the past that part of you wanted to let go of. "Yeah, you... you could say I know them pretty well. I, uhm... I used to-" 

"Hey, Spencer, Mom wanted to know if you-" Olivia's voice rang through the kitchen, her eyes locked on her phone until she lifted her head and cut herself off mid-sentence. Her mouth remained partly open and her attention locked firmly onto you, a million different expressions shifting through her face until it settled on a somber, longing look. You forced yourself to look back at the laptop, briefly glancing up at Spencer.

"Oh, I get it now. I'll, uh... I'm going to use the bathroom real quick. You two should... chat." Spencer said, closing the textbook beside him and slipping out of the kitchen before you could say anything to him. You clamped your lips together and took a deep breath, rubbing the side of your neck and accepting the situation. 

"I... I didn't know you were friends with Spencer." Olivia spoke first, voice soft and unsure, and she walked closer to the island, keeping some space between you and her as she sat down on one of the stools. "He's pretty cool, right? Really sweet, too. You guys would get along great."

"Yeah, yeah, he is. We're just working on a project together, that's all." You'd like to say you hardly remembered the last time you spoke to Olivia but the memory of the screaming match that'd led to the breakup had been engrained in your head for ages. You pursed your lips, tilting your head toward her to take her in. She looked healthier, happier, and much better than the girl who'd been hauled off to rehab after spiraling. "You look really good, Liv. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, (Y/N). I- A lot of things have happened since we broke up, as you can tell." Olivia chuckled, gesturing in the direction Spencer had slinked off in. Her gaze dropped onto the island counter, the sad smile on her face lightly tugging at your heartstrings. "But, I'm... I'm better now. Better enough to realize that I hurt you, and I'm really sorry for how things ended between us. And maybe I'll regret saying this, but I still have love for you. I miss you, (Y/N). I miss us."

[disturbedbeautywrites]

League of His Own - Chapter 1

Rafe Cameron college baseball AU

Prologue

Anxiety and excitement; those were the two main feelings you had as you walked into orientation behind Liv. She was talking a million miles a minute, her hands and arms making wide gestures that you couldn’t keep up with even if you tried. “And I tried telling him how stupid that was… Wait, are you even listening?” Her voice was fading into the background noise of the room as you took a seat in the huge auditorium, your eyes scanning the seats around you. “Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” And now she was waving her hand in front of your face, eyes snapping to look at her as you apologized profusely.

She just chuckled and shook her head, patting your shoulder. “I know, it’s all super overwhelming at first. It’ll get better though, I promise.” She nodded and let you take in everything around you for a few minutes. The room was filled with freshmen and other transfer students, each carrying on their own conversations or living in their own individual worlds.

It was crazy to think that you were about to go into your junior year of college, and you were giving yourself a fresh start. But it was also a breath of fresh air. You needed some change after how things went at your old school. You had a crazy ex-boyfriend there, and a lot of drama you were glad to leave behind.

You were lost in your thoughts until Liv slapped your arm, claiming she was trying to be inconspicuous, but failing miserably. “Ready to see who Mr. Hotshot is?” Her nickname for the man she named earlier, Rae, rain? You couldn’t remember, but it was enough to make you laugh quietly to yourself. She either really hated the man or had the biggest crush on him, you couldn’t decide. She nodded down to the front of the room where three boys had just made their ways in, each of them wearing a NCU baseball shirt and matching sweatpants.

“So, that’s the trio of trouble around here. The one on the end there, in the blue shirt is Kelce. He plays third base Along with the entire population of girls here. He’s a total douchebag and I’m not convinced that he isn’t a steroid user.” She nodded and gave you time to listen to her before she continued on, her eyes now landing on the guy on the other end. “The guy there in the white shirt is Topper, why did his parents name him that? No one has any idea other than we’re all convinced they hated him.  He plays centerfield, even though he doesn’t look very athletic. He has speed that comes out of nowhere. Very good with his glove and his hands.” She then moved her eyes to look at the guy in the middle and she looked back to you to get your reaction. “And finally, the guy in the middle. That there is Mr. Baseball captain himself, Rafe Cameron. Total heartthrob of the school and possible future MLB recruit. He is a pitcher and also filthy rich due to his daddy owning half of the real estate on the outer banks. Also has a matching jerk personality to match, but he’s definitely pretty to look at.” She finished her introductions to the boys as she watched you nod along, eyes trained on the one she named as Rafe.

She was right, he was pretty to look at. His hair was swept back in a neat fashion, a few strands hanging over his forehead. His eyes were steel blue and his smile was completely perfect. He looked like he stepped out of an Abercrombie catalogue and decided to pretend to be a college student for a photoshoot.

As they walked in, everyone seemed to take notice and they ate up the attention. They smirked and made sure to walk as slow as they could through the front of the room, loving how all the girls had their eyes trained on them. It was laughable, honestly. But, for some reason you were just like the other freshman girls oogling at them. “And there she goes. We’ve lost her.” Liv’s voice was the comedic relief you needed to snap out of your trance, your laughter leaving your lips easily as you looked over at her. “You did not, you’re just being dramatic.” You rolled your eyes at her before you settled back into your seat, playing on your phone to avoid eye contact with her.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t our favorite softball player. Have you thought about my offer yet, Liv? It still stands this year.” The voice came from the boy that she had pointed out earlier that was named Kelce, his body plopping down in the seat in front of you. He had turned his body to face the two of you, a smirk on his lips as Liv flipped him off and scoffed. “Still a lesbian, idiot. Nice try though.” He just chuckled and raised his hands in defense before Topper came and sat down right next to him, his eyes flashing to you. “Oh! Excuse us for being rude. I’m Topper and this is Kelce. Now who might you be?” His tone was outright flirty, and it made bile rise up in your stomach at the effort he was putting into it.

“I’m Y/N, I just transferred here and I’m one of Liv’s roommates.” As soon as you said the words, she threw her arm around your shoulder, grinning at them. “Yeah, this is our new superstar that you guys keep hearing about. She’s going to help us kick ass this season.” Her words made you blush and look away as you felt a pair of eyes on you, curiosity getting the best of you. You peaked up and saw the same blue eyes from earlier checking you out, a small smirk on his lips as he spoke to the teacher who was running the orientation. He shot you a wink before he moved to lean against a wall.

“Alright, everyone listen up! We’re going to get started!” You heard the teacher at the front of the classroom call out, your eyes moving from Rafe to him as you swallowed thickly and tried to focus. But, you couldn’t get his eyes and smirk out of your mind and you found yourself letting your eyes wander to him throughout the entire time you were supposed to be listening.

The orientation drug on, but once it was done and everyone got up to leave you felt Liv grab your arm to hold you back. You looked at her with confusion on your face before she held up a finger to tell you to hang-on as Topper motioned her towards him. He whispered something in her ear and he motioned at you before she nodded and smirked to herself. She started walking and took your wrist, pulling you along behind her as she started to walk out of the auditorium and towards your shared apartment. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?” You looked at her expectantly as she grinned, looking at you with wide eyes. “How do you feel about going to a party with the rest of the team tonight? It’s being held at Rafe’s house, and it's always the party of the year.” She gave you a puppy dog look before you laughed and nodded, feeling her hug you super tight. “Sweet! Let’s go get ready to get our party on!”

You didnt know what you were getting yourself into, but what could go wrong? It was only a party.

[emailsicansend]

tara had never been good at grief, has never quite learned to let go fully. even with all the experience she's had with it.

she pauses every day at wes' favorite spot by their tree. touches the old friendship rings they had gotten from some stupid bookfair a million years ago. she carries him in her sardonic wit, in jokes she cracks and turns to see his reaction only to remember he'll never have one again. it guts her just as much as the first time, every time.

and dear, sweet liv. the guilt that never stops haunting her. to blood staining her hands. liv waa only in the friendgroup because tara dragged her in after a summer working shifts together. tara recognized something similiar in her eyes: the same sense of pervasive loneliness that she saw in the mirror. liv's woes are as much an open secret as tara's. parents who only ever care about finding the bottom of bottle, who don't blink when their daughter doesn't come home in days. or when she starts bringing vince around. liv is floundering, and it's a feeling tara knows all too well. so she folds liv into their group.

at the party, she's hiding behind amber's arm when she pulls the gun out and splatters live against the wall. tara can't help but think if she'd processed faster, moved faster, reacted faster, then she could've done something. she could've saved liv. she pulls herself together enough to throw herself at amber to save sam, why couldn't she have done it for liv?

when ny comes and tara realizes it's a chance to reinvent herself, she models herself after the girl who always understood more than tara said. her haircut, her wardrobe, the personality: she's holding onto all the pieces of liv she can.

and then there's amber. oh god, amber. where does tara even start there? amber killed. (amber killed for her.) amber lied. (amber lied to reveal the truth.) amber never cared. (amber always cared, maybe a little too much.) amber. amber. amber. amber, who cradled her face after tying her up and shoving her in a closet. ("sam won't put you first, but baby, i always will. i promise. just trust me.") tara hates her for the way everything went to. tara misses her more than anything.

it's amber who once said things only have as much power as you give them. words tara chooses to live by in six.

she over indulges her vices. she's had a little too much to drink when she hears it. put. it. down. you're better than this. wilting fingers lose their grip on the cup, and it tumbles all over some unsuspecting victim who scowls at her. but tara doesn't care, she's too busy searching for the voice. the voice she would know anywhere.

but amber isn't tucked away into the crowd, and tara is more than willing to blame alcohol for a momentary lapse in judgment. she draws in a shaky breath and refills her cup. and she hears it again. baby doll, you know better. this isn't you.

this time she catches sight of those dark dark eyes glaring disapprovingly. the breath leaves her lungs in one ragged move as she stumbles towards amber. but the vision is gone as quickly as it appeared.

tara starts seeing and hearing pieces of amber when she makes reckless decisions amber would never approve of. and, god, does it spur her to make more.

after all, tara's never been good at letting go

[creativekha0s]

So I had this idea in my head that refused to leave so I wrote it out. Definitely a work in progress. It’s WWE characters set in the John Wick universe where nearly the entire roster are assassins. Thought I’d try it out and here’s what came of it. Please enjoy!

—

Fuck. Here we go again.

Liv Morgan walked slowly onto the grounds of the Continental. Safe, for now. As if anyone was anymore. Another reason she always kept her pistol closer to her than her enemies. There were no friends. Just other assassins, other targets, other opportunists with happier trigger fingers looking to collect. She wasn't so different from the rest. Liv liked to believe she had better morals than most around her and morals got you nowhere in this life.

Through the front doors, Liv immediately caught the eyes of some in the lobby. A duo of assassins she hasn't seen in awhile caught her eye and the smirk of one. Rhea Ripley and Raquel Rodriquez, these two together were dangerous. Liv was lucky enough never to have squared off against either but have seen their handiwork up close before. Raquel was a powerhouse of a human who preferred up close combat to guns. Rhea was an expert with knives no matter the kind. Any kind of blade in her hand, run in the other direction.

"Checking in again so soon, Miss Morgan? I assume you want to speak with Mr. Heyman again." The concierge asked.

"Just here for a drink, thank you." Liv half smiled and headed towards the lounge of the hotel. It was quite empty during this time of the day. Once the sun set, the most notorious of assassins could be found here whether it be to hide out or to drink in peace. The likes of The Los Guerreros, The Wyatt Family, The Brood, The Bloodline, The Bullet Club, all have been passed through here at some point in time.

"My usual, please." Liv slipped her hand into her pocket and slid a gold coin across to the bartender as she took her seat in exchange for some of the most expensive whiskey most common places couldn't even afford to sell. Following to the seat next to her was Rhea Ripley, The Eradictor. Raquel stood by to the side.

"Here for business, Livvy?" Rhea flashed her smirk to her again. "A drink that hard should be savored for something else." She slid a coin to the bartender as well and motioned her finger towards Liv's drink letting them know she wanted one of the same. "Pleasure." Raquel didn't care much for her flirting but it seemed Liv wasn't too much wavered by it either.

Liv scoffed to herself and lifted the drink to her lips and took a long swig. "Pleasure? I lost pleasure in this life a long time ago."

Rhea chuckled and raised her glass up staring at the contents. "Because you're small time, Livvy. Knocking off the small contracts, the single unit bounties. You don't think big enough for yourself." After a few sips, Rhea handed the glass to Raquel to finish. "Why don't you tag along with us to New York? There's a bounty raise on that Wick fellow, twenty five million easy. Largest bounty in years and we want it. And we should get to it quickly. I heard Omos and Demon King Balor have already been on his tail."

"Death wish." Liv shook her head and knocked back another swig. Every assassin around wanted to get in on that open contract except the issue at hand was...no one could claim it no matter how much they wanted to. Trying to take out John Wick was absolute suicide and Liv was going to stay as far away as she could, hold her head down, and keep out of the way as much as possible. She had no quarrel with him. Rhea wasn't wrong about taking the small contracts. Easy money that came quick and clean, Liv was good at what she did and not to be underestimated by anyone. "Been nice knowing you if you pursue." Liv emptied the rest of the contents of her glass down her throat and let it burn before it settled.

They shared eye contact for a brief moment, then Liv glanced up to Raquel and gave her a half smile. Then she left the duo at the bar as she walked to the staircase in the middle of the lobby to head up to her room. Meanwhile Rhea and Raquel weren't intimidated at the slightest and left the hotel to attempt the Wick contract. More money to split between the two of them anyway.

Upstairs, Liv took a seat and pulled out her burner phone to open the list of contracts available for anyone to accept. Of course at the top, John Wick for 25 million. No way in hell would she ever touch that. Anything over 5 million was a risk to her. Again, Liv Morgan was an amazing assassin and should never be taken lightly but she also knew her own limitations to certain contracts. The higher the bounty, the more difficult it was to kill. And Liv was content with playing the system her way and taking the easier contracts for much less money. One day she wanted to leave this al behind and she wanted to be alive to enjoy the money she's already accrued.

She scrolled through the list of names carefully after the first 8 names were over her desired number:

PENDING:

Damien Priest: 4 Million USD Giovanni Vinci: 3 Million USD Riddick 'Madcap' Moss: 2.5 Million USD Io Shirai: 1.5 Million USD Johnny Gargano: 1.5 Million USD Tommaso Ciampa: 1.5 Million USD

Liv was familiar with more than half of these names and the bounties being over 1 million all around was well enough to keep her interested. Question was, which target to choose and for how much?

Incoming Text Message...

Liv's phone had buzzed again before she had a chance to set it down. A new open contract was available like clockwork. It's what kept the business of this lifestyle moving along. Swiping up, Liv clicked on the message. She didn't blink once reading it.

Alexa Bliss: 5 Million USD

The contract was open and it was set to kick off at midnight. Liv looked over to the clock on the side table of her bed. It was 10:30 PM. She would barely have time to prepare. Liv didn't allow her emotions to become the best of her, this is the path she chose while Alexa chose hers. Except the guilt in her stomach became more apparent the longer she stared at the text. Or it was a bad feeling. Liv got those a lot.

New Incoming Call...

"Fuck me." Liv should've known. This is why she hated getting those bad feelings, why she wanted out of this life as fast as possible, to never look back on what she was forced into as a child without a choice in the matter. Her eyes stared at her phone screen while she let it ring three times. She took a deep breath and brought the phone up to her ear. "I really need you to rethink everything you want to do or say to me before you end up getting us both killed."

"Five million dollars is pretty tempting to put a bullet hole in the middle of my forehead, isn't it?"

Liv was close to crushing her phone in her hand. "Tell me you didn't do it. You didn’t fucking do it…”

"Oh baby I did what I had to do. What I always said I was going to do if the McMahon Family ever fucked around with me again. I killed Vince McMahon. And I need you to help protect me from the backlash it's going to cause. The contract is only open for a week because they think I'll die as easily as he did." Liv could hear her breath hitch here and there, she was on the run. "Please, Liv. I bear your Marker and you know that, but I'm asking you myself first because..."

That was a long time ago or so it seemed to Liv. She tended to block out what her and Alexa had before things went downhill.

"...you know why. I don't have too much time left."

Liv kept her cool as best she could. Fuck, she could use another drink. Perhaps she'll go for one before she makes a big mistake. "I'm at the Continental. Meet me here but don't you dare come inside. Rhea and Raquel are here, I think Wade Barrett is around and every fucking person you don't want after you if they see your face at the hotel. Let me know when you're here, I'll find you. You owe me for this one. You so fucking owe me."

"Whatever my bounty is at when we're done, consider it your payment. That's a promise to you, baby. I'll be seeing you, very soon."

The call ended immediately after and Liv rolled her eyes hard. So much for another swift payday, she thought. She had to get ready and fast. Not only was 5 million dollars a good bounty when it was close by, but Alexa wasn't much known for making friends with others that resided in the Continental. And who knows what the McMahon family was willing to pay to bring back Alexa's head for what she had done. The High Table wasn't going to be very pleased with this now that a few shifts in power were going to come into play.

Liv needed to act quickly before things tipped away from her favor. She needed to think of a plan, a place to go, and guns. She was going to need a lot of guns.

[ginnyrules27]

Got any unused scenes to snippet or back burner projects/unfinished or unrealized one shots?

Hmm...I got a couple of back-burner projects that I began writing a while back. I should have some snippet there lol :D

Mirabel shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that. She only wanted to know why she didn’t get a gift. 

Did she do something wrong? Was it because she wiped her hands on her dress? Camilo didn’t wipe his hands so did she wipe off the magic of the candle? 

But no one would say what she did wrong. All papa had said was that it wasn’t her fault and that the family still loved her, gift or no gift. 

But if that was the case, they’d be here with her in the nursery. Isa would make all sorts of pretty flowers bloom and Dolores would make her giggle by telling her what one of the neighbors did and Lusia would take her on a flight by lifting her bed up with Mirabel in it and walking around the casita. 

-Untitled Encanto/Descendants crossover (currently 466 words)

“A room full of royals looking their nose down at us because our dad’s a basketball coach and our mom’s a vice principal and we live in Wisconsin,” Maddie finished. “Does not sound like my idea of a good time. Though I do have to wonder why mom and dad didn’t send us to Auradon Prep.” 

“Because they don’t have a basketball program and I’m not losing my star player for no reason!” Their dad’s voice called from the kitchen. 

“Knew they were eavesdropping on us,” the other boy in the room chuckled. 

“Hey, it’s better than them calling a family meeting, right Joey?” Maddie asked. 

“Ooh, good point.” 

Liv rolled her eyes. “Will you two hush?! The royal carriage is going to be seen any moment!” 

“Yeah…you do know Prince Ben is a: completely out of your league and b: has a girlfriend right?” Maddie asked. 

“I don’t care about him! I want to see what gown his new girlfriend’s going to be wearing! Think about it Maddie, we’re about to be shown what the kids of the Isle wear for formal events, nothing like this has ever been done before!” Liv squealed before groaning. “Oh I wish we were there!” 

“So you’ve said, about a million times,” Maddie sighed as she tossed a basketball up and down. “Liv, when will you give up this dream about attending royal events? I mean yeah you were on Sing it Loud—.” 

-Untitled Liv and Maddie/Descendants crossover (currently 1210 words)

Morgan, though, had insisted that the doctor was ‘Daddy’s twin’ as only a four-year-old could reason. So Robert had gone to the hospital and met with the Dr. Derek Shepherd and explained what was happening. Derek had, of course, agreed to a DNA test to answer the question if they were twins; never even batting an eye that the request seemed to come from a four-year-old. 

After a few weeks waiting for the results, they were both stunned to find that Morgan had been right—Robert and Derek were twins. 

Of course, Derek had immediately called his mother to ask how he had a long lost twin brother also living in New York City. Mrs. Shepherd had seemed reluctant but had finally admitted the truth. That when Derek was born, he’d been born a twin. However at the time, they couldn’t afford five children and the Phillip family had been friends of their’s however they couldn’t conceive a chid. So while they were loathed to do it, to separate the twin boys, Carolyn Shepherd and her husband had to make the choice of what was best for Robert, Derek, and their girls. 

It had taken a bit of getting used to, the idea that he had a family in the city that he never knew about, but Robert and Derek had quickly developed a relationship once the awkward phase was done. 

-Untitled Enchanted/Grey's Anatomy fanfiction (currently 2316 words)

And still suppressing the urge to write on the backburner either the 911/Descendants crossover or a Grey's Anatomy/Descendants crossover...or both if it's in some weird universe where no one from the Isle has to tell Beast and Belle what's going on on the Isle and the team from Grey's is sent to set up the hospital with the 118/126 acting as muscle for the doctors (Grey's is on ABC which is owned by Disney so it can still be in universe...and China's sister is on 911: Lone Star so I'm counting that as part of the Descendants universe. Also Disney owns Fox now so there's that)

[storiesofsvu]

Safe With Me

Warnings: Language, nightmares, brief mention of slight assault/talk of the svu job

Casey x Fem!Reader

****

SVU had caught wind of a major sex trafficking ring, the squad had spent the better part of a month connecting the dots, filling in the blanks and trying to find a way in. Eventually they made a bust at a smaller party with a couple of girls and a pimp, Olivia ended up making the deal that if they cooperated, worked with the squad in an undercover type op for their upcoming party that she wouldn’t make any arrests that night. It was then that the pimp agreed, taking a leering look over at you, saying he’d only be okay with it if you were there as a Madam. You gave a scoff, rolling you eyes, but giving Liv a nod of agreement. As you made your way out of the interrogation room, you found both Fin and A.D.A. Casey Novak on the other side of the glass.

“An undercover op? Seriously?” Casey was the first to speak, her voice full of hostility.

“It’s the best option we have counsellor.” Oliva replied, “They’re willing to work with us and this way we can get the most arrests, and help those girls get out of the ring.”

“These guys are dangerous!” Casey shot back, “Are you sure this is the right idea? Your team could be at risk, is there any other way we can do this?”

“Casey…” Olivia started, “My team has done this a million times before, and they’ll do it a million times again, everything will be safe, and it will be by the book.” She gave a small hand gesture as her phone went off, leaving the room to just you and the A.D.A who turned to you with a look of concern and fire in her eyes.

“Case…” Your hand stroked at her forearm, “Everything will be fine, I need to do my job and this is the best shot we have at busting the ring.” Casey let out a heavy sigh, her forehead dropping against yours for a soft moment, relishing in the privacy of the room.

“I know…” She took the moment to kiss your lips softly. You gained eye contact with her, hands cupping her cheek

“Baby please, you know I’ll be fine, and the team will be right there in the van if something goes left field. Please. We need to break this case.” Casey huffed, nearly rolling her eyes before looking at you.

“Fine.” She kissed you softly, “But please, let me know the instant you feel like something is going south.”

“Of course my love.” You managed to give her cheek a quick kiss before Benson popped back into the room with more details on the case, calling you back to duty.

You and Casey hadn’t managed to disclose yet, despite your relationship having been going on for longer than a usual one. Though you weren’t sure about how your office, or the DA’s office would react to you being together, you always kept things professional, no one that worked with either of you knew you were dating. As much as you loved her, you both kept things silent.

**

Casey was adamant on being in the van during the night of the bust, much to Olivia’s surprise, she usually wasn’t particular on being on the crime scene, but she was fighting for this. She watched with caution as you stepped out of the black SUV, clad in a skimpy pink dress and heels that you defintely didn’t own.

You made your way upstairs with a mix of UC’s and working girls, just to make things seem legit, Fin was already in the room as you entered. You gave a quick nod to the pimp, a smirk on your lips as you and the girls moved through the house. The party began as normal, a flow of different groups moving throughout the house.

As the party progressed you did your best to observe the night, keeping an eye on everyone, half of the guests were still in the living room, girls grinding against their laps. The other half were down the hallway, taking an unfair advantage of some girls. You were doing your best to keep things under control, roaming down the hall of the house, making sure no one was going further than the girls had agreed.

You were so focussed on the girls that you didn’t notice the shadow behind you, the way the hand closed over your mouth, shoving you into one of the empty bedrooms, the moment his hand wrapped around you, you freaked, doing your best to fight him off. The instant you were able to rip his hand off your mouth you screamed your go word, knowing your mic was still in play, your body shaking at the way his hands groped at your body. He shoved you up against the wall, your forehead colliding with the plaster as he pinned your hands behind you. You cursed the shortness of the dress, feeling his fingers swiftly creep much higher than you were okay with. Just as he was about to cup your heat you heard Fin’s voice yell out, dragging the guy off you.

“You okay?” He asked as he cuffed the perp.

“Yeah.” You shook out of it, hand tentatively wiping at your forehead, not surprised to find a small amount of blood on your fingers. Fin tugged the perp up from the ground, shoving him off to a uni.

“C’mon, we need to get you checked out.”

“Fin I said I’m fine.”

“Yeah and Novak’s gonna have my balls if I don’t make sure you get looked at.” He smirked at your baffled response. Though you weren’t horribly surprised, Fin was your partner after all, and if anyone was gonna figure it out, it would’ve been him. Begrudgingly, you made your way down to the paramedics, not surprised when Olivia was quick to send you home after double checking that you were indeed okay.

**

Despite being happy to have been let off early, you were a little rattled coming home to a dark empty apartment. Giving a heavy sigh you headed for a long hot shower, trying to get the feeling of the freak’s hands off you. You wrapped yourself in one of Casey’s old Harvard tshirts, tugging on a pair of pyjama shorts before pouring yourself a much too large glass of wine and settling into the couch with some mindless tv show. You knew Casey wasn’t about to be home anytime soon with the number of people they’d managed to collar, she’d have to start striking deals, getting people to flip to get better information.

It was nearly three hours later when you heard the sound of key’s clinking in the hallway, the sudden noise made you jump, head shooting towards the entrance way. Casey instantly took in the worried look on your face, concern etching through hers.

“You okay baby?” The soft voice came from the door as she shut and locked it, hanging her coat and dropping her bag on the small table.

“Yeah..” You muttered, “Just..been a long day….” You took a large gulp of wine, swallowing more than you normally would. She gave a soft sigh, moving through the apartment to your side, softly dropping down on the couch beside you. Instinctively you lightly fell against her, curling into her side while her arm wrapped around you, lips gently meeting your head.

“Mmkay…” She murmured, making sure you were snug against her, letting you decompress for another few episodes of tv before she spoke again. “You still riled up, or are you ready for bed?”

“Bed’s probably a good idea.” Sitting up you stretched out your tight body, trying to roll out the tenseness your anxiety had crept into your muscles.

Casey followed you into the bedroom, giving your head a soft kiss as you curled under the blankets before she quickly got ready for bed. You felt her body wrap around yours from behind, tugging you tightly against her, murmuring a soft ‘I love you’ agaisnt your skin that you returned before drifting off.

**

To say you were having a good sleep would be the farthest thing from the truth. Images from the evening flip booked their way through your brain, enhanced by your slumber, the entire situation escalated so much higher than it was in real life. You could feel hands against you, smell the cheap liquor and cigarettes, the pain in your forehead shooting as it slammed into the wall. You weren’t quite sure how long it had been, how awake your conscious was, you just felt your body shoot awake, the nightmare still so vividly detailed and real in your brain. You couldn’t help it as tears sprung into your eyes, breath barely able to catch in your chest as you pushed yourself up, clutching your knees to your racing chest.

Both the sudden movement, and the muffled cries roused Casey from her sleep. She grumbled lightly as she rolled over, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Any amount of tiredness instantly vanished when she saw your heaving back, body shaking, she shot up, a tentative hand softly touching your shoulder. Even at her gentleness your body tensed, nearly jolting away from her.

“Baby…?” Her voice was soft, but gruff with sleep and laced with concern. Your face shot up, the terror in your eyes ever so slowly dissolving as you came back to the real world. Your trembling hand reached out towards her, Casey cupped it gently between both of hers, softly rubbing against you, tentatively moving up your arm. She was cautious, waiting for your response of her touch, watching your body begin to relax, your breath begin to return to normal.

“Sorry…” You murmured, free hand coming up to quickly brush away the escaped tears, “Bad dream I guess..” She didn’t miss the way you refused to meet her eye, boldly, she wrapped an arm around you, kissing your head gently before tilting your chin up to meet her gaze.

“Baby, what happened in there tonight?” Her fingers ever so gently stroked over the butterfly bandage on your forehead, lips placing a feather light kiss above the small gash.

“I..hit my head in a scuffle, I’m fine..”

“I know that already…and I know you, something more happened in there…” When you glanced up at her again your lower lip trembled, hating that you were about to admit it, you felt weak, powerless, both things that a cop shouldn’t ever have to admit to.

“I…I didn’t see him coming. He shoved me into an empty room, up against the wall…his hand was..was nearly up my skirt, thank God for Fin.” You took a shaky sigh, “I just…I can’t get the images out of my head…how bad it could’ve gone…guess my imagination got the best of me…” You dared to glance up at Casey, tears brimming in your eyes.

“Oh sweetheart…” She kissed your head gently, “Don’t worry. I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay? You’re safe with me, I promise.” She tugged you tighter into her frame, “I love you more than anything.” You sniffled lightly, accepting the embrace, knowing that she would keep true to her word.

“I love you too.” Her lips met your head again, hand softly rubbing down your arm.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep.” She gave you a gentle smile at the expression you shot her, “I’ll be right here baby. I promise I’ll wait til you’re asleep, and you can wake me up the instant something bad goes on in that little head of yours, okay?”

You gave her a little nod, tears slowly retreating from your eyes. Settling down on the bed against her still sitting body, you curled up half in her lap, only closing your eyes when her hand came to softly play with the loose strands of your hair, relaxing you. True to her word, Casey sat, watching you, holding you close until she was absolutely sure that not only you were asleep, but you were free of another nightmare right away. She slunk down in the bed, wrapping her body around you, making sure you were held tightly against her before she closed her eyes again.

It may have been one hell of a long night for both of you, but being able to come home to each other made things all the better. You knew that you were loved, appreciated and protected when you were with each other, and you never felt safer than when buried in each other’s arms.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

Perfectly Imperfect, Chapter Seven

Word Count:  4535

TW:  Injury (non-fatal); heavy angst.

AN:  Part of a series.  The series masterlist here.

You had left Barba’s apartment on a Wednesday evening in tears.

Thursday, in the aftermath of the Muñoz indictment, Barba didn’t see you.  He was lying low in his own office, avoiding the press.  He looked at his phone about a million times that day; he wanted nothing more than to get one of your bizarre, context-free emoji messages, but he never heard from you.  You, ostensibly, remained in the 16th precinct, plowing ahead on whatever case you had on your desk.

By Friday, he had shaken himself out of the self-loathing torpor that had led him to blunder so badly with you.  Barba had never been to therapy, but he didn’t need a PhD to realize that many of his issues in love came from an unhealthy amount of self-sabotage.  There was a pattern:  he started dating a woman, and the moment he started to develop feelings, he sabotaged it.

Like he had done with you.  He had purposely picked fights with you, and when it all boiled over, he sat mutely and allowed you to think the very worst.  When you had left his apartment, you left thinking that he still loved Yelina and was going to pursue her.  He hadn’t bothered to convince you otherwise, and he let the whole rotten situation fester for far too long.  He should have chased after you that very evening, but a few days had passed instead.

He spent a long, sleepless night evaluating every emotion that had washed over him during the Muñoz case, and he was ashamed by the meaner thoughts he’d had about you.  That you were inexperienced and needed to toughen up about love, for example.  Your inexperience meant that you were refreshingly straightforward, free of tricks and mind-games.  Barba loved that about you, and he was mortified that he had thought otherwise, even for just a moment.

When he sabotaged relationships in the past, he never bothered to try and fix them.  Maybe he didn’t think he was worth the effort, or maybe he justified his behavior because of other issues existing in those relationships.  Maybe that was just more sabotaging – an adulthood marred by bad decisions because he didn’t think he deserved to be loved.  

-----

Barba made his way over to SVU Friday afternoon with the sole purpose of finding you and talking to you.  He didn’t care who saw or heard.  The two of you had kept your relationship quiet, and Barba wasn’t clear who knew about it.  At this point, though, he’d give a press conference to the entire city about you if it meant getting ten minutes alone with you to apologize.

At the precinct though, you were nowhere to be found.  Liv and Fin were out elsewhere too.  Only Amaro and Rollins were there:  Amaro gave a grumpy little grumble when he saw the ADA – he likely was still salty over the entire Muñoz situation.  Rollins, on the other hand, gave him an appraising look.

“Counselor,” she said in greeting.

Barba glanced around the bullpen but didn’t bother to pretend that he was there for any reason other than you.  He asked if you were there.

“Nope,” said Amaro shortly.

Rollins glanced at her partner, then back at Barba.  “Liv sent her home early.  She pulled a double shift yesterday and was in early today on a new case.”

Barba perked up at that – a new case meant that he’d probably be seeing you soon.  Rollins didn’t miss the way his face brightened.

“It’s a misdemeanor at best,” she continued.  “And the assailant is a minor.  So it’ll go to Cox.” “Better luck next time,” Amaro added, and his tone made it abundantly clear that he both knew about Barba’s relationship with you and where it currently stood.  Barba glanced over at Rollins, and from the way she was faintly shaking her head, it was clear she knew too.

-----

He tried to call you that night, but you didn’t pick up.  Maybe you had your phone off, maybe you were sleeping off your double shift.  

He’d drive over to your place, but he was ashamed to admit that he didn’t know where you lived.  Somewhere in Brooklyn, but that was as specific as he knew.  He had never been to your place, never offered to meet you there.  He always let you come to him, your overnight bag slung over your shoulder and your backpack stuffed with your books and schoolwork.

He tried calling a few more times, then sent a text, pleading for you to pick up.  He could see that you read it, but you didn’t respond.

Please, he typed.  We need to talk.

It was a long moment before you replied – so long, that Barba put his own phone down in despair when you didn’t answer right away.

Finally, you replied. Is it about a case?

Before he could answer, you continued.  The texts came so fast that Barba could just picture you, typing furiously on your phone.

If it’s about a case, we can talk Monday morning.

But I only have one case, with Cox.

If you need to talk about anything else, take it up with Yelina Muñoz.

Then you added a coup de grace:  Maybe someday she’ll finally be Yelina Barba.

And then you sent him five smiling faces and a thumbs up emoji, and he was crystal clear on your bitter meaning.

*****

It had been a year of firsts:  your first law classes, your first solo cases at SVU.  Your first apartment by yourself.  Your first boyfriend, your first time in love, your first time salsa dancing, your first time making love.

Your first breakup.

It hurt worse than anything you’d gone through before, but it was the same variation on a theme – you weren’t good enough.

You mostly kept it to yourself.  There was one night out with your friends, and they had plied you with lots of alcohol and let you cry it out (until you puked it out too), and that helped.  Otherwise, you kept your emotions from the breakup separate from work and school.

You had learned the fine art of compartmentalization in your program at the FBI, and you used it to your advantage now.  Barba had reached out a few days after your breakup, but you told him to keep any future communication strictly work-related.  You could keep your pain hidden from everyone, but adding to it was too much.  The last thing you wanted to hear was some cliched platitudes about remaining friends or whatever ex-boyfriends said to try and salvage working relationships.

As far as work went, things were both better and the same.  Cragan and Munch had both retired, so Liv was the acting commander for half a minute.  Rollins and Fin were partnered up, which left you and Amaro together for the scant month that Liv was in charge.  Then a new captain was brought on – Declan Murphy – and Liv was paired with Amaro again.  Leaving you the odd man out, again.

You didn’t mind.  You took all the tiny cases that no one cared about, and now that Murphy was your commanding officer, absolutely no one cared about the little cases.  Murphy was a political mover, so you laid low and solved the boring stuff.  You got pulled into big cases when they needed help, but you mostly flew solo.  

Which was fine with you.  If your short relationship with Barba had taught you anything, it was that being alone meant that the only person who could hurt you was yourself.

*****

Barba moved on, which meant that he stopped texting you.  It meant that every time he glanced down at his phone, he wished it held a message from you – any message, even one telling him to fuck off.

The silence hurt worse than any words you could ever say to him.

Moving on meant that when he saw you at work, he pretended that your careful façade fooled him like it fooled everyone else.  When you had to talk to him, it was like you pulled a mask on.  Your face took on a neutral, blank look, and while no one else noticed it, Barba could see the pain in your eyes.

It meant that when he saw you at Forlini’s, bent over a thick law textbook, he only nodded at you and took his usual place at the bar.  And he pretended that he didn’t see you when you inevitably left moments later, unable to even exist in the same space as him unless you absolutely had to.

And it meant that one Friday afternoon, he brought your stuff from his apartment and gave it back to you.  Nothing much – half a bottle of shampoo, a toothbrush, some clothes.  You took the bag from him without comment and without looking him in the eye.  If you noticed your missing t-shirt, you never said a word to him about it.  It was a navy blue shirt, faded and well-worn, but it was unbearably soft and still smelled like you.  Barba kept it, and when its scent faded, he could still stroke it and remember when you used to wear it as you slept beside him.

It meant that November and December passed.  Barba should have been making holiday plans with you – your first Christmas together.  Instead, he booked his usual trip to Gstaad.  

He did exactly one half-hearted run on an intermediate trail, then hung up his skis.  He knew you were an ace skier yourself since you had grown up near the slopes.  He saw couples paired off on the lift and wished it were you and him together.  He spent the rest of his trip slumped in front of the giant fireplace in the lodge, staring at the flickering flames as he drank too much scotch and missed you keenly.

*****

For the first time in a while, you wanted to go home.  You loved New York, but sometimes the city felt inextricably entwined with Barba.  You were exhausted, irritated by work, and heart-sore.  Even if your family left a lot to be desired in the support department, they were still family.  

And there was something enchanting about Christmas in the Rockies.  The wood-burning stove, your mother’s homemade cinnamon buns in the morning, fighting with your younger sisters over the extra frosting.  Fresh powder and mostly-empty slopes as everyone else stayed home for Christmas.

You worked though the Thanksgiving holiday so that you could take time off for Christmas, and you booked a flight home to Colorado.  

Amanda had noticed that both you and Barba were on vacation at the same time, and she had arched her eyebrows and asked you point-blank if you were back together.  You had shook your head at her, curt, and reminded her that Barba had moved on, or was in the process of moving on, depending on when Yelina Muñoz could obtain a quick, quiet divorce.

“I don’t think that’s the case,” Amanda started to reply, but you shot her a warning look that silenced her.

“Leave it,” you snapped back.  “I have.”

You knew that Barba went to Switzerland over the holidays.  You had chatted about skiing a lot when you were together, since he enjoyed it and it was basically mandatory for you as a Coloradan.  The two of you had talked about going somewhere when it got cold, maybe New Hampshire, for a mini-vacation together, but it obviously had never happened.  Instead, you were going to Colorado alone, and Barba was flying in the opposite direction.  Possibly with Yelina.

You were a masochist at heart.  For most of your flight home, you pictured the two of them together in some Swiss chalet, wearing matching Fair Isle sweaters like a couple of assholes, sipping fancy wine in front of the fireplace before retiring to have brisk, efficient sex like two experienced assholes would.  Not like you, the bumbling recent-virgin.

Whatever.  When you deplaned, you pushed all of those mental images away, and you spared only one last, uncharitable thought for Yelina – that she wipe out on the slope.  Nothing serious, you thought meanly.  Just something embarrassing, and preferably in front of everyone.

Then you saw your mother and your youngest sister waiting in the baggage claim for you, and you couldn’t help but smile.  Your sister, seventeen and a snarky asshole as only a teenager can be, held up a homemade sign that said “Welcome home from prison” that made you laugh.  

You were home.  For eight glorious days, you had nothing to do other than sleep in, smoke weed, get into slap-fights with your sisters, and ski.

*****

Your mother’s name was Abby.  You were her eldest child, and she had you when she was only nineteen.  A new wife married to a husband that traveled during the work week, and a new mother to a baby born two months too soon.  

Abby always assumed that your strained relationship with her started at birth.  You spent the first month of your life in the NICU, before all the research about the importance of being held came out.  When your sisters were born without complications and you saw how easy it seemed between them and Abby, it only solidified whatever latent insecurity you had.

Abby wasn’t sure where the insecurity came from.  Certainly, the merciless teasing that marked you and your sisters didn’t help.  But going back further, there had been some anxiety when you were starting kindergarten.  Charts showing you off in some areas, slow in some little kid skills.  Maybe you had understood more than Abby had realized, all those technical terms about percentiles and lagging behind.

You had a drive in you, a desire to prove you were the best.  Not just average, in the middle of the pack with gross motor skills or language skills.  You worked so hard at it, put the pressure on yourself when no one else in your family cared about A’s, let alone B’s.

But you got straight A’s, did varsity sports.  Earned scholarships, graduated early with double degrees.  Recruited by the FBI, then off to New York City, a place as foreign as Katmandu compared to the sleepy little Colorado town you’d come from.

Of her four girls, you were the one who cared most about achieving certain milestones.  The other three had inherited their mother’s easy-going nature.  B’s and C’s (some D’s) in school.  Sports for fun, not for lettering.  Some college, maybe, but sometimes not.  One daughter married several times, quickie weddings that ended in amicable divorces.  Another daughter dating different men and women depending on how the wind was blowing.  The youngest daughter not even bothering to sit for the SATs.  Whatever.

In Abby’s little flock of ducklings, you were the odd one out.  You interpreted it as a failing on your part, and Abby couldn’t ever convince you that you alone held a special place in her heart.  You were her first-born, and she’d nearly lost you when you were born.  She didn’t have the language to explain how she felt when she had watched you struggle in the NICU, how it hurt every time you fought to pull in another breath into your narrow chest.  How you had cracked her heart open just by existing, and that it was the best sort of pain.

What she did have the language for was the treachery of men.  You looked awful when you came through baggage claim, and Abby was alarmed by the dark circles and exhaustion in your eyes.  She knew the broad strokes – you’d had an older boyfriend, some work colleague lawyer, he dumped you to get back together with an ex.

The fact that you had even told her about your boyfriend spoke volumes.  You kept things close to the vest until you were certain you were going to excel at them.  So, when you called home one weekend and casually mentioned a boyfriend, Abby knew it was because you thought he was a sure thing, a good thing.  When he dumped you, you had merely texted Abby with that update.  She knew how much you probably blamed yourself for failing at the relationship.  

If Abby could get her hands on him, she’d strangle him with his own fancy lawyer tie.

She kept an extra close eye on you during the holiday.  The first few days, you just slept a lot, curled up on your childhood bed and buried under the comforter like a sad girl burrito.  She told your sisters and the various other family members that drifted through to lay off the usual ribbing that you took to heart so much.

Then you roused yourself.  You chopped wood in the backyard until the wood stove had enough fuel for the next century.  You ate raw cookie dough and watched awful action movies at night with your sisters.  You skied in the day and lazed at night.  

You snuck outside to smoke pot, and Abby pretended not to notice, even if it was legal and obvious as hell.  Pot made you giggle in a way you hadn’t since you were four and in love with Animal from “the Muppets,” and Abby wondered if your fancy lawyer ex-boyfriend had ever heard you giggle like that.

She was so worried about your life in New York.  She could only imagine the peril that a detective came across, and your heart was obviously at risk in the city too, judging from how you’d been hurt by Rafael Whatever-His-Name-Was.  

Her anxiety was misplaced, ultimately.  That was the burden of being a mother:  her eyes and her worry had to be everywhere at once.  She should have been concerned about your time home in Colorado.  She knew the peril of the ski slopes, after all – better than she knew the perils of an asshole lawyer and the Manhattan perverts you arrested.  It was two days after Christmas when her youngest daughter called, half-hysterical, to tell her that there’d been an accident and that ski patrol was loading you into an ambulance.

It was like when you were born all over again, the rising panic in Abby’s throat as she imagined the absolute worst.

It wasn’t the worst, though it wasn’t good either.  You’d lost control on an expert trail and crashed into a tree.  It was the sort of crash that had killed plenty of others in the past.  For you, it left your helmet cracked nearly in two.  Abby took a picture of it, and she’d look at that picture at least once a month for the rest of her life, to remind her of what she’d almost lost.  

Your shoulder was badly hurt.  The local hospital could only stabilize it, but you required specialized surgery to repair the torn tendons and ligaments.  There were a few options, but the very best was in New York City.  Convenient.

The doctors pumped you full of anti-inflammatory medicine and pain pills, and they basically taped your arm to your chest like a bird with a broken wing.  Abby packed a bag and accompanied you to your new home, and it felt like a terrible sort of symmetry, just the two of you again – one struggling, the other unable to do much aside from watch and pray.

*****

Barba returned to New York in a weird sort of mood.  He was hyper (for him), the result of spending a week without much human contact or conversation.  He was anxious to get back to work.  He was anxious to see you again, even if it meant you with your placid work-mask pulled over your face to hide the pain.

When he strolled into the 16th precinct the first day back from vacation, he wore his very best suit and made sure his shoes were polished to a high shine.  You weren’t at your desk, though.  In fact, your desk looked neglected, like you hadn’t been there in a while.  There was a pile of interoffice mail envelopes tossed on the surface, and your bag and coat were conspicuously missing.

“Where’s she at?” he asked Fin, gesturing at your desk, but the detective only looked up from his desk and blinked at him owlishly.  Then he pointed at the whiteboard schedule.  Barba turned and read it – your name, with the added “LOA” tacked on.

Barba looked around the precinct, and he spied Liv through the door in the break room, so he strode in and repeated his question without the formality of asking after her own holiday.

“Leave of absence,” she replied as she stirred her coffee.  Barba gritted his teeth.

“I’m aware of the acronym, thank you,” he spat out.  “What’s the deal?”

Liv gave him infuriating half-smile that she saved for defense lawyers and IAB.  “You want me to violate H.R. procedure and give you personal information about an NYPD employee?”

He closed his eyes for a moment to corral his dissipating patience.  Liv obviously took pity on him, because she continued talking.

“She got hurt on vacation, and she flew back with her mom to have reconstructive surgery here.”

He felt his stomach drop.  “Surgery?” he asked.  “What - ”

“Shoulder,” she broke in, reading his grim thoughts.  “She’ll live.”

She went to walk past him, and whatever expression she saw on his face made her add, “she’s at a sports medicine hospital in White Plains.  You can try out being a detective and see if you can find her.”

-----

It wasn’t hard to find you at all.  One search on the internet, one phone call to the only hospital in White Plains that handled highly specialized sports surgery.  The next time Liv thought to get snarky with him, Barba would tell her that detective work wasn’t so hard.

He found himself there in the late afternoon, his sweaty hand gripping a mixed bouquet and a mylar balloon that said “Get Well Soon.”  He found the right floor, then found the nurses’ station.  A harried looking woman in powder blue scrubs told you where your room was, but warned that you may be sleeping from the pain medication.

His feet carried him to your room.  He gave a gentle knock, but he didn’t hear a response, so he opened the door slowly and entered the room.  You were indeed asleep, your face slack and peaceful from whatever drugs they’d given you.  You had a constellation of scrapes across one side of your face that were healing, and your arm was strapped and swaddled against you in a complicated configuration.

You weren’t alone in the room though.  Barba looked you over, then noticed the older woman sitting by the window.  It had to be your mother.

There was a familial resemblance, certainly.  The same eyes, the same build.  The same way of frowning, as the woman was doing now as she looked him over from head to toe and put together who he was.

You’d obviously told your mother about him, he realized with a sinking heart.

Still, if Barba had one strength, it was charming mothers.  He gave her a smile and walked over to introduce himself, his voice low so that he wouldn’t wake you.

“I’m Rafael Barba,” he said, and your mother murmured her own name back (Abby), emphasizing that she was your mother.  Her own handshake was limp in his, but it didn’t feel like it was from a lack of strength.  It seemed more like she didn’t want to touch him.  When he broke the handshake, he was certain that the only thing stopping her from wiping her hand on her pants was a modicum of good manners.

“How’s she doing?” he asked.

“She’s recovering.”

A long pause.  “What happened?”

“Ski accident.”

Barba felt his forehead break out in a sheen of sweat.  Your mother was giving him next to nothing, unwilling to chat with him.  His charm was failing him just when it mattered most.

“It looks like it was a bad one,” he offered weakly, and your mother nodded at him.

“It cracked her helmet in half,” she said, giving more details.  “If she hadn’t been wearing it, I’d be planning her funeral.”

Barba’s stomach dropped at that, and Abby narrowed her eyes at his expression.  “Why are you here, Rafael?”

He thought about what the right answer was, but he ultimately went with the truth.  “Because I care about her.”

Abby huffed a breath through her nose, making her nostrils flare.  “Did you care about her when you dumped her like you did?”  When he didn’t answer right away, she added, “Because you hurt her really badly, and no one hurts my kids.”

He held his free hand out in supplication.  “Missus — “

“Abby,” she interrupted.

“ – Abby,” he amended.  “There’s been a misunderstanding.  I want to fix it.  I came here to fix it.”  He hesitated.  “I love her.”

Your mother threw back her head and laughed, so loud that Barba turned to look at you, half expecting you to be awake.  You weren’t though – your breathing remained deep and slow, in a morphine slumber.

“You think you love her?” Abby asked him.  “Well, I don’t think you know how to love.  Not her, at least.  Maybe you know how to love that fancy New York society woman you left her for.  I don’t even think you know her.  I’m her mother.  I know her.  I know how hurt she was when she came home.  I saw it written across her face.”

“I didn’t mean – “

“I spent the first month of her life watching her fight for every damned breath she took.  You think you know her because she’s young and smart and good-hearted?  You think you know the obstacles she faced, and how she takes everything so personally?  How hard she tries to be perfect?  If you knew all that, then you’d know how to broke her heart and how she blames herself for not being good enough for you.”  Abby scoffed at him.  “You don’t know shit, flatlander.”

Barba felt his stomach sink to his feet, and he looked down at the floor.  Your mother was worked up into a fine temper, but she was absolutely right – he didn’t know you very well, apparently.  He didn’t know you’d been sick as a baby, for example.  Not that it was something that would ever come up in casual conversation, but why hadn’t he asked you more about your childhood?  

He looked up at Abby; she stood with her feet apart and her arms crossed like she was spoiling for a fight.  Barba, though, only shook his head at her.  

“I do love her,” he insisted quietly.  “But I didn’t love her the way she needed.”

“You should go,” Abby said, her tone only slightly tempered.  “She’s gonna wake up eventually, and if you make her cry while she’s recovering from surgery, I’ll murder you right here.”

The look on her face made Barba understand, for the first time in his life, the term “mama bear,” so he only nodded at her and turned to leave.  He paused to sit the bouquet and balloon on the bedside table, and then he left.

[buckysimp101]

And They Were Roommates- Part 8

Roommate!Bucky x Original Female Character

a/n: I just want to shout out my bestie @youlightmeupfinn​ for helping me with the brainstorming process and being a wonderful creative outlet and muse! I love you a million!

Series Masterlist

Olivia's POV

11 Days Ago, the Tuesday after the night out

Three days. It had been three days since James Buchanan Barnes took the heart that he had owned for so many years and smashed it. Three days since I made the rushed decision to leave a place that held fond memories of the last almost half a decade. Val was helpful, she gave me a place to stay until she had to leave the city. Steve helped get some of my stuff together until I could actually move out, which led me to my current living situation.

"Look, Livs, the man is a mess. He's moping around the office, I mean it's his fault anyways, but he's just looked like a kicked puppy these last two days, its really bringing the mood down. Maybe if you just called him up.." Tony started in between throwing mouthfuls of blueberries into his mouth only to be interrupted with a hit on the head with a newspaper by Pepper.

"James dug his own grave, Anthony. Olivia isn't ready to talk to him yet and that's her right. Don't you think if she wanted to see him or speak to him she'd have gone to the apartment herself to get her things? Now leave her alone and go order us some dinner please, sweetheart," Pep said with a confidence that I could not have possessed in that moment.

Before Val left I had gotten in contact with Tony and Pepper and asked if I could stay with them for a little while I looked for an apartment, immediately they said yes and Steve helped bring my bags over to their penthouse. That was two days ago. Pepper joined me on the couch running her hand on my back as I snuggled into their comfy blankets, I hadn't even had time to change from work before I settled onto their couch for the evening.

"Olivia, I hope you know that you do not have to talk to James if you don't want to. We all heard what he said, you don't need that energy in your life right now if you don't want that energy. Now, what would you like for dinner?" Pepper spoke soothingly, she always acted as a big sister to me in the almost decade I had known her and I loved it.

"Thanks, Pep. I just need a little break while I try to find my own place, since he obviously doesn't want me in the apartment," I trailed off, tears beginning to well up in my eyes for the billionth time in the last three days. My statement was met by a sigh from Pepper.

"Live sweetheart, look at me," she said softly, waiting for me to meet her eyes, she moved a piece of hair from my face and continued, "I know what James said and yes, he was wrong to say that; however, I'd have to be a fool to think that he actually believed any of the words that came out of his mouth. James Barnes has been in love with you since the minute you walked into our lives but you're more than entitled to space from him if you think that is best for you. You and your feelings matter, sweet girl. Now. What do you want for dinner, otherwise Tony will order the entirety of the restaurant like he did at that one game night a few months ago."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night before Howard Stark's Retirement Party

Pepper was right. My feelings mattered. Since that night, I'd lost track of the number of phone calls I had received from Bucky. I had made decision to send them all to voicemail, a tool Bucky never even used. I needed some time to work on myself, try to find somewhere else to live, to try and decide what a life without Bucky constantly around looked like. Don't get me wrong, Pepper and Tony were gracious hosts and even better friends but I couldn't just keep living out of their guest room for the rest of my days, but honestly it's a little hard to find an apartment for one person in New York City living on a minimal salary.

Talking to Bucky was inevitable, but I could definitely control when and where the conversation would take place. I wasn't going to have the talk that we needed to have over the phone, but I also knew I wasn't emotionally prepared to talk with him over the phone. I just needed a little time. It's been two weeks since I spoke with Bucky and Howard's retirement party is tomorrow. I know Bucky will be there. It's also his and Tony's promotion party, so the last few days have been full of party preparation alongside Pepper and mentally preparing myself for seeing Bucky for the first time in two weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky's POV

10 Days Ago, the Wednesday after the night out

"Alright, Ice Man. Respectfully, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Tony's voice sounded from the door of my office, the tone already making me want to just leave work for the day.

"Ice Man? That's a new one, Tone, what made you think of that?" I sarcastically spat, trying to pay attention to the spreadsheet in front of me.

"Ice Man, you know. Cause you're icing out the one person that means the literal world to you?" He said, a small knowing smirk on his face, the look itself causing me to roll my eyes.

"If you're talking about Olivia, I'm not icing her out. I'm giving her space, time to contact me."

"Well that's just stupid," Tony started, I tried to cut him off but he held his hand up to stop me, "Because if I were Olivia I wouldn't want to be the first one to make a call to someone that said in front of all my friends that they thought I was an annoying little sister and they could not care less about me," his tone still grating my nerves, "when that person is clearly head over heels for me and will always be," he added in a softer and lighter tone causing me to look up at him. Tony's eyes had softened, something that only seemed to happen when he looked at, or talked about, Pepper.

"This is incredible, does Tony Stark actually have a heart?" I spat, trying to cover up how it was actually killing me to not talk to Olivia. That may have been the wrong thing because Tony's eyes hardened once again.

"When it comes to the young woman I've seen as a little sister since the day she walked into my apartment? The woman you've been in love with since she flounced into said apartment in that itty bitty skirt? Yes, I do have a heart. You fucked up big time, Barnes. Make this shit right, or you'll be dealing with the heartless Stark for quite a while. And no I don't mean my pops," Tony stated with an air of finality that caused my heart to clench yet again as he left my office.

Slinking down my chair and rubbing my eyes, trying to stave off the headache that I knew would follow the conversation, all I could think about was Olivia. Where she was at, if she was safe, if she was hurting as bad as I was. Every day that went by without seeing or talking to her I felt my heart grow tighter and tighter, as if someone was trying to squeeze every bit of life out of it. After Steve's conversation that night I was letting her have a few days to herself. But tonight? Tonight is the night where I try to make things right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Present Day, the night of Howard Stark's Retirement Party

I lost track of the number of times I called Olivia. Each time the line would ring about two or three times and I'd be sent to voicemail. No matter how many times I was sent to voicemail, I could never gather the courage to leave one. Olivia obviously didn't want to speak to me, who knew how she felt about me. She obviously doesn't love me the same way I love her.

I looked in my mirror, attempting to fix my damn hair. "If Olivia were here she'd know exactly what to do," I muttered under my breath, again running my fingers through my hair.

"Need some help there, Buck? Did I hear you saying something about Liv?" Steve asked, leaning against my bedroom door with a smirk playing on his lips, causing me to roll my eyes and hold back a groan of annoyance.

"Nope, just trying to get my hair to do what it's fucking supposed to. I'm not even thinking about Olivia Miller, Rogers so I don't know where you got that from," I bit back, finally getting my hair to do what I wanted, fixing my all black suit slightly so that it sat better.

Steve rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to stay something but he was cut off by a knock at the front door, his eyebrow raising at the noise, silently questioning who could be at our place this close to the retirement party, a smirk growing on my face at the look on his.

"Buck... who's at the front door? We've got to go in like 5 minutes man," he groaned out, causing my smirk to grow into a full grin. Steve's eyes noting the change and his eyes narrowing as if to try and read my mind.

"You know what they say, Stevie. The best way to get over someone, is to get over someone else," I stated, as I started walking to the apartment door, my grin only growing wider at the growing confusion on Steve's face. I opened the door to reveal a tall, dark haired woman in a red dress with a slit so high up on her thigh there is no way she's wearing anything under it, her eyes hungrily eyeing me up and down as I reached out to wrap my arm around her waist.

"This is Anna, Stevie. She's my date, now are we gonna keep talking or are we going to celebrate? Make sure to lock the door on the way out, Rogers!" I confidently said as I turned around to head to the car with Anna, knowing it would be waiting outside any minute now. If I had turned around a little slower I would have seen Steve shaking his head in disappointment.

[mybruta1ity]

things between rhea and liv were getting worse and wose as the week went by. harsh words being exchanged, weapons that were used and a bitter rivalry that was never going to end. rhea was getting tired of being a pawn in liv morgan's game and she decided to take matters into her own hands this time around. except what she had planned or what she thought ended badly. warren was never supposed to be a piece in their game. he wasn't even supposed to be someone that rhea ripley grew to care about as much as she had. after dominik, she didn't think she would ever care about anyone in that same way or even more. but she had and now she couldn't unfeel for him and that was the worst part. she had wished in that moment to be a little girl again because skinned knees were easier to fix than a broken heart.

rhea listened to his story, listened to him repeat her words. repeating words that had never been more true if she said them one more time. but it wouldn't change what she had done and for that she felt completely awful. warren was someone rhea cared about more than she would have liked to admit. it started as just a game to mess with liv but it had turned out to be much more. she didn't think she would ever have that connection with someone, that she would find someone special again, someone that could make her feel so alive and want to live. she knew she had ruined it before it even got the chance to start but now that warren was sitting across from her, she could explain herself. if he had decided to meet her, it meant that she had a chance, right? ❝ warren, i'm not lying when i tell you that i never cared until i met you. you were a breath of fresh air in my life and i didn't know how much i needed that. dominik broke my heart and for so long i focused on the pain that i felt rather than just moving on. and then you came into my life and i just fell for you. i know that we started this for all the wrong reasons - that i went after you just to get back at liv. but you changed all of that. ❞

the truth was that his words hurt because it was real. it hurt because it mattered. and that was the most important thing for rhea to acknowledge in that moment. her eyes were burning from the pain that she had started to feel from listening. the true of the matter was that warren was completely right and rhea had to admit she was wrong. she had been wrong for going after him in the way that she had. but she didn't feel guilty for going after him because it had brought a person in her life that she wanted there. ❝ you did matter to me as a person, warren. you do matter to me as a person. there is nobody else in this entire world that matters to me more and i could tell you that i'm sorry a million times but it wouldn't change anything. i just want you to know that i'm going to do anything to fix this. that i'm going to prove to you just how much you mean to me. ❞

sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. rhea reached for warren's hands, holding them both in her own with the risk of him pulling away. she knew what she felt and she also could feel what he felt too. there were real feelings there from the both of them and she wasn't about to let the anger, the frustration and the hate she felt for liv ruin this. ❝ i am asking you to trust me, warren. forget about everything else. it's just you, and me. it's us here and nobody else. i care about you so much and i love you. i honestly do with all of my heart and i don't care what it takes. if i need to wait forever for you to forgive me then that is what i'll do. even if that means that right now we can't be together. but just know one thing, just because we can't be together that doesn't mean that i won't love you. or that i'll stop being in your life because that is one thing that i can't do. and please don't ask that of me. ❞

hearing his next set of words, rhea pulled away. she leaned back in the chair with eyes that couldn't promise. eyes that were full of pain and understanding but she couldn't promise. the rivalry against liv wasn't something that she could turn her back on. she had done so much to her in the last few weeks that warren couldn't just ask her to give that up. ❝ i can't do that. i know that's not what you want to hear. but i can't give up this thing with liv and i. it's become extremely personal with the two of us. i promise you that i'll do whatever it takes to fix this but not that. i won't even ask you to choose between us because i know how important liv is to you. but you need to trust me and know that my revenge is just against liv and what she has put me through. i want us, warren. i want us more than anything else but i'm not going to stop this with liv to get it. so either you trust me or as much as it pains me to say this, i will have to say goodbye to you. ❞

𝗥𝗛𝗘𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗬 𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗞𝗘 : i never really cared until i met you.

i   lower    my    eyes   to   the   table      ,       trying    to    hold   steady    as   her   words   sink in.       outside      ,      the    bustle   of   new    york’s    late   afternoon    crowds   continues   as    if    nothing    extraordinary    is    happening   inside    this   warm      ,      dimly   lit    café.      they    don’t   know   that   i’m    here      ,      grappling    with    the   familiar    ache   in   my    chest    that   i’ve   carried    for   so    long.       none   of    them   know    what   it   took    to    tear   down    my   walls   and    let   rhea    in      ,       only   to   find   out   i    was   just   another   piece    in   a    game   i    never   asked    to    play.

i   take    a    breath   and    flex    my    fingers   around   the   coffee   cup   before    looking   up    again.       “      you    never   really   cared    until   you   met   me        .   .   .  .         ”       i    say    softly      ,      repeating    her   words    as    if    testing   how   they   feel    in    my    mouth.      “      you   know      ,      before    i   came    here      —      before    i   met    you      —      my    life   was        .   .   .           complicated.      i   mean      ,       you    know    i   was    an    idol   before    any   of   this.      i    spent    so    many    years    smiling    for   cameras      ,      pleasing   people    who   only    saw   me    as    a    product.      every    interaction    scrutinized      ,      every   move   choreographed      ,      every    word   measured    so    i    wouldn’t    break   some   unspoken   rule   or   feed   the   rumor   mill.      over   time      ,       i    just    learned    to   keep   everyone    at    arm’s    length.      it   was   the   only   way   to    stay    sane.      ”

my    gaze   drifts   momentarily   to   the    window      ,       where   the city’s    rhythm   carries    on    oblivious.      “      when   you   walked   into   my   life      ,       i   couldn’t   figure    you    out.       you    were    outspoken      ,       unpredictable      ,       and    i   guess   i   found    that   intriguing.      i    told   myself    to    stay    cautious      —      god   knows    i’d    learned    that   lesson   the   hard    way      —      but   something   about   you   made   me   want   to    believe   again.      i   wanted    to   think    maybe    you    saw    more   in   me    than    a    name    to   leverage      ,      that   maybe    i    mattered    to   you   as   a   person      ,       not    just   as   an    opportunity.      ”

i   swallow      ,       trying   to    keep    my    voice   steady   even    though    my    throat   feels tight.      “      when    liv    told    me    the   truth      —      that   you   were   using    me    to    get   under   her   skin      —      i   felt        .   .   .          stupid.      more    than    that      ,       i   felt   exposed.       i   had    finally   let   my    guard    down.      after   years    of   keeping    everyone   at   a   distance      ,        i’d    made   an   exception    for    you      ,      and    you    proved   every    old    fear   right.       that’s    what   hurt   the    most.      ”

i   lean   forward   slightly      ,       searching    her    face.    i   try    to   figure   out    if   this    is    another   game      ,     or    if   she’s    finally    dropping   her   mask.      “      and    now    you’re   telling    me    that   you   never   cared   about    anyone    until    i    came   along.      if    that’s    true      ,       rhea      ,      then    you   need   to   understand   what   you’re   asking    of   me.      you’re    asking   me   to   trust   you    again      —      even   after   you   broke    that   trust   once    already.      you’re   asking    me    to    abandon   the    survival   instincts    that   protected    me   all   these   years      ,       back   when    i   was    a   product   instead      of   a    person. ”

i   exhale      ,      the    sound   barely    audible    over    the    low   murmur   of   conversations    around   us.      “      i’m   not   saying    it’s    impossible.       but    if   you   want   me    to    believe    you      ,       if   you   want    me    to   see   something   real   here      ,       then   you    have   to   understand   what    it    costs    me    to   open   up   again.       i   gave   you    something    precious      —      my   vulnerability      —      and    you   nearly   crushed    it.      if   you    truly   never    cared    about   anyone   before    but   now   you    care    about    me      ,       then   prove    it.      prove    it    with    honesty.      prove    it    by   dropping    the    schemes      ,       the    rivalries      ,      and   the   mask   you’ve   worn    for   so    damn    long.      ”