#SHE CANT MENTALLY OR PHYSICALLY HEAL

[andi-o-geyser]

manifesting a future where Keyleth and Otohan get a rematch and Kiki kicks the shit out of that bitch. ohhhhhoooo manifesting so bad

[dailykugisaki]

Day 327 | id in alt

Both the first and the last survivor of idle transfiguration.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[princessbrunette]

jj is so funny because he doesn’t even pick up on half the looks you’re giving him.

he’s always oblivious for a little while, tugging you around with him on a pogue mission only a few hours after he made you cream on his dick so hard you cried. you’re quiet, uncharacteristically so — not even intervening like you usually would when he pipes up with a dumb idea. you physically can’t. you can’t see any of his faults like this, only latching on harder to his charisma and the way he can command the groups attention at the drop of a hat.

you’ll take any excuse to touch him, giving him the big doe eyes as you cling to his bicep listening to him ramble. “look, i’m tellin’ you guys — it’s a solid idea. we got nothin’ else so i suggest y’all listen to me, honestly.” he clucks in that slightly southern accent that makes your tummy get warm. john b sighs, turning his attention to you.

“you allowing this?” he asks and you simply nod, unable to offer anything but a hazy smile.

when arriving to the abandoned building you were meant to be investigating, you get separated for a little bit — much to your devastation. you wait outside on look out with kie and sarah, whilst the boys check out the inside. jj flips a torch in his hand, chipper as ever as he strolls through the building, looking around.

his two friends eye eachother before speaking up.

“so, uh… jayj, i hate to be the one to tell you that you’re totally blind, but i think your little fangirl out there has been craving a little something from you.” john b arrives at his side, addressing the elephant in the room that the blonde seemed unaware of.

“what are you yappin’ about, dude?” jj is distracted, lifting a cover off some old tools lying around on the floor, making a mental note of how they might help them in a jam.

“your girlfriend looks like she’s constantly about to jump your bones.” pope calls bluntly from behind, a few strides back. jj’s attention is captured and he blinks at the two boys who stare at him with knowing smiles. he glances between the two of them before shaking his head.

“oh, nah — gave it to her real good this morning. had her cryin’ on it n’shit. ain’t no way she’s goin’ again, atleast until tomorrow.” he converses casually as they continue down the creaky path. john b and pope look at eachother with clear realisation on their faces, and the brunette slaps his shoulder.

“so that’s what that face is about… okay. she’s uh… dickmatised, man.” he presses his lips together in a smug smile and jj raises an eyebrow.

“cant just make up words, dude. its not fair. some of us struggle with regular words let alone that bullshit.”

“look, all we’re saying is we are proud of you jj. you’ve clearly been putting in the work.” pope teases making john b chuckle, nudging his arm against your boyfriends.

“y’all are so weird. but yes, for a matter of fact, i have.”

once reunited with you, he can’t hold back his own smirk, tonguing at the healing cut on his lip at the way you agree with just about anything he says, constantly reaching to run your hands along his skin. he finds fun in teasing you, purposely flustering you because he can, turning his whole body to face you and imposing in your space.

“damn, lil’ bitta’ dick and you get shy on me? thats actually very cute. i’m flattered.”

maybe you could go again, after all.

[reefs-camp-blog]

(based off a discord message with my friend)

after the war with gaea poseidon brings percy underwater for a bit, not to atlantis but still far enough away, and he tries his best to help percy.

because he can help him in a way that no one else can, and that percy didnt even know he needed

hes able to physically heal him (not fully but its good enough), and also knows most, if not everything about percy, so he can also listen and try to help him mentally too, and he can also be the parental figure he always wanted to be to percy, and that percy always needed

and dont get me wrong, i love sally, but she cant help percy the same way poseidon can because she isnt a part of the mythology world as much as she wants to be, and poseidon is

and so when poseidon brings him underwater and tries to help him, percy kinda just. loses it. but not in an angry or the usual way, in the way that hes needed this his entire life but never knew, and before he realizes hes crying and poseidon calmly and quietly pulls percy closer to him and just holds him tight and lets him cry

and after a while of percy crying (cough several hours cough), poseidon realizes that hes completely quiet now and- oh shit percy fucking passed out

poseidon has never been able to cradle his son to sleep, no matter how much hes wanted to. hes watched sally do it for years and years but has always longed to do it himself, and has eventually accepted that it will never happen

but even after 16 years, and after he thought hed never get the chance, he does. so he just holds percy. and calms him when the nightmares come. and swears to himself that he will never let his son go through any of that ever again, even if he has to defy the king of gods himself, no one will stop him from helping this son from that moment on

[prettiedup]

This is gonna sound messy as hell BUT!!

Going with your realistic theory about fratboy/playboy!gojo leaving reader after graduation, what if in 5-6 years they meet at like a cafe or smth and she has a kid (could be his but I like the thought of her moving on and eventually having Toji's kid) RAHHHH THE DRAMA. Gojo is conflicted bc of how GOOD reader looks and has to remind himself he's engaged but keeps his eyes glued to her ass (I can't stand him🧍‍♂️)

And reader does not fuck with Gojo like at ALL, I feel like she would realize during the healing process of the breakup that Gojo was manipulative and a cheater and that the relationship was just not healthy at all😭😭

If the kid is Gojo's; she would NOT want him in their at all due to how she was treated and discard like a toy, that man would probably threaten a custody battle against reader in order to see his kid (I hate him🙄)

omgggie ur so messy i luv it loool . to keep da plot thick da babi wld b toru's tho i think .

nd yessss she matures nd when she finds out she's pregnant wif a babygirl she's sittin in bed one day imagining her daughter gettin older nd encountering someone like her dad . she realizes she wldnt accept their relationship at alllll , so that realization has her bein like " wtf that was soooo unhealthy "

nd when toru sees her nd decides since he cant have her physically anymore hes gonna fuck wif her mentally and financially until she breaks .

[grumpyghostdoodles]

Going back home. Not a happy camper

Surgery got delayed bc my surgeon is horrible at her job, and did a mayor administrative and legal error.

Im gonna fucking lose it, chat :) :) :)

I cant get into the exact details, but now I have to take legal action against the private clinic that im going to have my surgery in bc they did an immense administrative and legal screw up. My doctor is actually in danger of getting fired.

I traveled so far away, did everything right to ensure that my doctor had everything she needed to make a safe surgery, and now i have to go all the way back home, and wait aprox two more months for my surgery. Beautiful.

Sadly, im medically on the verge of a physical collapse, so im going to be on bedrest for a bit until my body heals back up. Mentally, i am fine, no need to worry, im just fucking exhausted and angry. If I draw, I'll be low effort doodles for a while, mostly to cheer myself up, so still no big updates or drawings

I am mentally fine, i am just very tired and physically ill, but in good spirits. My parking lot fight with the grim reaper will be postponed for a bit XD

[neotomiccccc]

All Saints Street Infection Au!

I know I cant be the only one whose tiktok fyp is full of mlp infection videos atm and if theres one thing i love its SMASHING my interests together like theyre fucking cymbals SO HERES THE FIRST POST OF MY WSJ VIRUS/APOCALYPSE AU...

The breakdown is this:

A virus breaks out which can affect humans and monsters alike. There is no known cure except for swift amputation of the infected area. Once a certain amount of time has passed, it's too late for this to happen, and the diseased will slowly succumb to a mutated state, before finally death.

Angels, for the first few weeks of the viruses existence, are found to be naturally immune to the disease. It's theorised that this is because of their purifying properties.

Neil is infected with the disease by the fourth week since the outbreak, and by week five is in the middle stages. He hasn't told anyone out of fear, and also out of denial and the belief he'll just get better. He doesn't. At some point, he struggles to hide his symptoms anymore and Lily is the one to discover his infection. Together they make the difficult decision that Lily will have to kill Neil as an act of mercy before he gets any worse and becomes dangerous. Lynn hears Lily crying, and finds her sobbing over Neil's body. The two return to camp and are forced to tell Nick what happened - they are unable to bring Neil back with them because of the infection risk.

Lily has taken the role of defending the makeshift camp from the mutated late-stage diseased. She is ambitious, but Neil's death is traumatic for her and she often finds her brain foggy and dull where she used to be concentrated and sharp. After a small injury, Lynn begs and even forbids Lily from fighting off the diseased until she is fully healed, but Lily can't cope with the thought of putting more people, especially her brother, in danger by not fighting. While defending the base, Lily becomes overwhelmed and while her death is brutal, it is at the very least, swift.

Nick is bitten on the lower leg very early on, and Lynn has to amputate in order to stop the disease from spreading. This is successful, but it does leave Nick with a severe disadvantage. Despite this, he is very resourceful, a fast thinker and a great resource at the base. After Neil's death, he goes into denial, partially blaming himself for not keeping a closer eye on his little brother. As time goes on, the nightmares and dreams about Neil become too much for him, and he almost stops sleeping altogether. This only furthers his worsening mental health, and he slowly becomes more impulsive and aggressive.

Lynn originally served as a medic and healer for the group, being the one to deal with wounds and examine potential infections. Despite being the most calm and put-together individual at the start of the outbreak, he suffers a brutal downfall. Shortly after the news comes out that the virus has mutated so that angels are no longer immune, Lynn loses the vast majority of his wings to a mutant - and only a few days after, Lily is killed in a similar incident. After losing Lily and suffering severe physical and psychological trauma, Lynn is reduced to a state where he very rarely speaks or does anything other than stare off into the distance. Nick and he still spend a lot of time together despite this, even if there is not much conversation to be had.

Characters that I haven't drawn in this AU yet:

Abu's anxieties become his saviour - by barricading himself in his own shelter and rarely leaving, Abu manages to survive despite minor injuries through sheer isolation. This does mean however, that he is needed more and more as others begin to succumb to the illness. Will he be able to overcome his fear, or is it better to stay holed up until a cure is found?

Ira gets infected during the fifth week, but the virus goes unnoticed in him for quite a while, as he does not show regular symptoms and is a bit of an anomaly. He also does not know he has been infected until he begins to lose himself. By the time Ira knows what's happening, he's already too far gone.

Damao is infected by a stray dog very early into the outbreak. He quickly notices his body beginning to rot and fearing for the safety of his friends, he runs away and goes into hiding. The next time the group sees damao, he has to fight for internal control in order not to hurt anyone, and does so for just enough time for the group to escape. The time after that, the group run into a horribly mutated monster that barely resembles a canine anymore.

Luis is confused at first about his potential immunity - he's already a zombie, but as it would seem, this virus is a different beast entirely, so he's not as immune as he thought. He manages to last a while, despite losing several body parts, but he too eventually is infected by a mutant, and transforms before the group.

Momo was one of the first to be infected, catching the virus from a stray cat. She is the reason that the group realise the severity and true horror of the virus - seeing her mutilated state is enough to convince anyone to abandon the city and run for a rural area to go into hiding.

Crystal is tough and is used to fighting. She doesn't hesitate to put mutants out of their misery, even though their screams haunt her later. By virtue of her toughness and perseverance, she is able to be one of the few survivors, but she struggles to deal with the amount of blood on her hands, even if she knows it was the only thing she could have done.

[sapphic-woes]

GOD FUCK HOLD THIS THOUGHT I HAD ANOTHER THOUGHT

If I maybe write smth real dark like think whump, would y'all hang me.

...and also who would y'all want it to be with??

[nikethestatue]

this fandom might actually be the worst one I’ve seen!! I flip through a bunch of diff ship accounts bc listen, ship whoever you want, personally I am partial to elucien but I can admit there’s a lot of evidence for other ships as well. I like seeing all art for ALL the ships!! But then today I see a post about how we need Gwyn’s book because she is a victim of SA and it would be great to read a book about her healing journey.

Idk maybe it’s just me but I get annoyed when someone is always reduced down to their SA so I pointed out that Rhys & Lucien also had SA trauma and there has been no healing journey for them?? How are we going to fill an entire book for Gwyn?? Like, Sarah doesn’t seem to delve too much into healing journeys from SA (in ACOTAR at least 🤷🏻‍♀️ idk about other series) and tends to use it as a plot point to create a traumatic background character. It’s something that greatly annoys me tbh

And then I got yelled at?? And told to read the books again?? Like yes, I am a new reader, and yes it was a Gwyn Stan account (didn’t know that at the time, I literally just replied for the first time from a post I saw on my for you feed) - but nothing I said was anti-Gwyn (how could it be- she’s one of my favs too???) ?? I vaguely know there’s whatever ship war going on but I didn’t even comment on a ship post and I didn’t mention any other names/ships so I was genuinely confused about why I got yelled at on a post that only mentioned Gwyn.

All I said was I doubt Sarah is going to write an entire book about Gwyn’s healing journey ? It wasn’t even ship related so why did I get so much hate?? no wonder this fandom is filled with such toxicity, nobody new is allowed to join even casually unless they earn their masters degree of 16000 pages of analysis (apparently reading the books isnt enough?) and so it’s just filled with the same bitter people since whenever these books came out

Maybe bc I acknowledged I didn’t see her as a main character - because she’s not? She’s very much a side character but who cares? She’s still a favorite of mine? Two things can be possible at once, people!!!

Anyways, tldr I got a slap on the wrist and told I don’t know SJM if I think Gwyn is a side character and I’m just like ok I didn’t say she couldn’t be one later but based on the one book she is in… she is a side character?

I hate this mf fandom I should’ve stayed out of it. What did I even do?? I even apologized if anything I said about Rhys or Lucien was untrue?? And now I’m just annoyed because I should still be able to debate theories about my favorite books with people even if I don’t spend 24/7 reading PowerPoints on ship wars??

They got mad because you were right. That's it.

SJM doesn't write post-SA healing journeys. Again, you were right.

We've had male and female characters who were SAed, in TOG, Lysandra and Fenrys come to mind, in ACOTAR it's Rhys and Lucien and Gwyn, in CC it was Lidia (similar situation as Rhys/Lucien).

These aren't books for deep exploration of post-SA healing. I am sorry. This is an incredibly tough subject, without a singular answer. SO anything she'd do, wouldn't be taken well. Some will say 'too quick!' others will say 'not quick enough!' and everyone will have an opinion. The only reason Nesta got an extended healing (and not from SA) was because SJM used the same methods she used for her own issues. Working out, meditation, being with friends, balancing the physical and the mental, relying on her SO. Beyond that, all of SJMs 'healing' is training and being in love. Or nothing at all.

Gwynriels cant accept the fact that Gwyn is a secondary character. She is not more important than Emerie, or Mor, or anyone else, who's had terrible trauma. Her main was Nesta. Nesta's healed and Gwyn is secondary to Nesta. Gwyn's healing journey is over. She because stronger mentally and physically, she trained, she reached and conquered her 'mountain'. and that is all she needed to do.

They dont want to understand and accept that no one is interested in an 800 page of Gwyn's post-SA healing journey. Even they aren't. That's the truth. They want her with Azriel. Getting it on, having sex, being mated. They don't want to read any 'healing journey'. They want her going on missions, swinging her sword, being a badass, being with Azriel, having Gwynriel sex and having a normal fantasy heroine book. it's all performative. They just want Gwynriel. Is all.

[tending-the-hearth]

I cant remember if it was in the book or C.S. Lewis said it directly, but there was a quote about Edmund’s wound never bothering him again, which is hard for me to believe given the severity of it. Likewise, the Witch never appears in any of the other books except Magician’s Nephew which is a prequel, but there’s no way Edmund would just move on from the torture he endured under her.

Their father doesn’t know what to make of it when Helen writes to him about Edmund’s pain and the way his siblings take care of him in a way she’s never seen before. He’s even more confused when the war ends and he returns home and realizes his sons are suffering from PTSD and have a look in their eyes that he’s only seen in other soldiers. He and Helen periodically ask the children about their time in the countryside, but never get much more than “it was fine.”

like yes logically ik lucy's fireflower nectar would heal his wound completely BUT i also refuse to believe that he didn't have some lingering issues from it, if not physically, then mentally obviously

and that's why the scene in "Dawn Treader" when the slavers capture Lucy, Edmund, and Caspian stands out SO much to me because Edmund reacts as soon as he sees Lucy start to get taken away from him and Caspian and he's already got issues from his first time in Narnia, added to Susan getting kidnapped during "The Horse and his Boy", PLUS Peter almost getting corrupted by Jadis in the "Prince Caspian" movie, so the idea of something happening to Lucy on his watch when it's his responsibility is the worst thing Edmund can think of.

[thisdreamplace]

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this, but I need advice if that’s okay😭 I’ve been keeping up with your account since I think autumn of 2021 ? Since one of my old tumblr accounts.

So a few months ago in Late July/early August was when everything within me crashed in regard to manifesting/spirituality. I’ve been on this journey since July 2018, so I’m not new but I’ve never really had any success. In Late July I started to research the history behind many popular figures in the community. (Like the fraud behind Abraham Hicks & her husband who was a distributor for the MLM Amway) It all just made me feel so defeated.

A lot of people say manifesting is rooted in Hinduism, but Hindus don’t practice any of this. If they do practice it, it’s because they practice the whole new age movement as a whole which at that point they’re just doing a hodgepodge nonsense mix of everything.

There really is no place for any of this anywhere…

I did research on Helena Blavatsky and how she basically gave birth to the new age movement, and how she is where the “Hindus practice LOA” comes from, as well as the modern day concept of Karma. She did it by misinterpreting texts from religions and plagiarizing from her favorite fiction books. Just learning that alone crushed EVERYTHING in me. Like I felt so emptied out in such a bad way.

But this is where truly everything crashed for me: I know a lot of people say Neville Goddard isn’t new age and I agree, but his work (and the new age movement) is branching off of the New Thought movement , and The New Thought Movement was a progression of the religion Christian Science. There’s this woman called Mary Baker Eddy, and she founded the religion “Christian Science”, and in that religion they believed that the body is an illusion as well as the senses (basically non-dual teachings), and that they are all made of perfect love. But they called sickness, disease, etc. an “error”. Instead of calling something lack, they said it was error. They did mental diets and refused medication, obviously their faith didn’t heal them and there are so many deaths. it was the fastest growing religion at some point and now its almost completely dead.

here are some quotes from Mary Baker Eddy:

- “Hold thought steadfastly to the enduring, the good, and the true, and you will bring these into your experience proportionately to their occupcany of your thoughts.”

- “There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter. All is infinite Mind, and its infinite manifestation, for God is All in All. Spirit is immortal Truth; Matter is mortal error.”

so like.. it sounds right doesn’t it? it sounds like what we would hear in the manifestation community and that scares me because why didn’t we learn from the massive flop that her religion was? She was secretly physically ill herself and even ran away to another state to escape all the troubles that the teachings were causing. I feel so upset.

People have died from extreme living in the end and there are still some people dying. And so it’s like: where do I go from here now??

oOooOoo this is a fun one uwu

tbh with you, its a VERY interesting take that you have here! like wow you really did your research but for what exactly? to prove to yourself why you never succeed? in (almost) every major religion, there has been evil, blood, death, etc. throughout history but all because theyre highly recognized across societies you would call them successful? i cant agree with that personally by the looks of it lol

i think that the thing is that i dont really care, personally, about any of these people you mentioned. even neville, god bless his heart, did a lot for my understanding of this journey but hes not my god. you put so much into these people and yet, it seems youve left nothing for yourself.

why does it matter what mary baker eddy said and did? do you want to live her lifestyle? follow her path? or would you rather create your own? i dont feel impacted by any of these stories youve shared, because ive already created my own path and been my own proof. i dont need them to validate my way of my life. ive made it myself.

actually, if you found something that relates to you, you could use it but drop the rest if you so see fit. this journey is much more personal than any religion and its followers ever make us seem to feel. because its not a religion we’re dealing with, its an outlook. and while its sad so many people were affected negatively (and actually continue to be affected in this community) doesnt mean the teachings have no basis. unfortunately, there will always be those who prey on the desperate, which is why ive tried hard to be very honest and real in my blog to help those who feel lost.

i guess because you didnt find success you wanted proof that these ideologies are ridden with failure and theres some dark, spooky past but for me it doesnt matter because you find that anywhere. even the “great” religions of today are riddled with gruesome pasts.

so at the end of it all, what are you left with? the same exact thing you began with. yourself, and how you want to show up in the world and what you want to believe about it, and about yourself. thats truly all it comes down to. not what anyone else said. but what you say.

so what do you say? do you ever listen to yourself enough, sit in the silence of meditation enough to hear exactly what your heart is telling you is the truth?

if not, thats where you go from here now :) go back to self, and stop looking for reasons why you cant and why not and etc etc and just start with, and end with yourself. because you were the only one who ever mattered in the achievement of your dreams 🫧

[unwelcome-ozian]

do you know anything of the Evolve treatment facilities in California? I'll take any info available. if you need a specific location it was the Walnut Creek facility.

The Walnut Creek facility is fairly new. It opened in 2020, the same year Galen Partners acquired them.

Evolve is considered part of the "Troubled teen industry" (TTI). The “troubled teen industry” is an industry providing behavioral modification treatment to youths that promises to keep children safe, but by design is a breeding grounds for institutionalized child abuse through legal loopholes. By analysing the legal shortcomings and alleged abuses, Yasmin Younis stresses the importance of heavy regulation in order to provide the necessary treatment some of these children need.

LINK

I didn't find anything specific for the Walnut Creek location of Evolve. But a number of other locations have had issues. Below are some of the experiences of people with Evolve. "Never send your kids here. Humiliating strip searches daily. They make minors go completely naked, turn around, squat and cough, jump up and down. 3-4 minute showers. The staff do not care about you they want money. Miranda called me the b word and I was just 15. Taylor does not care. They force medication on you illegally without parental consent. I came out of this horrible abusive environment worse than I came in. They just make you do packets you don't heal you are brainwashed."

"The worst health care provider experience in the US. Amateurish staff, along with capricious discharge of patient under the lip service of 'we care', along with ghosting legal guardians by not providing medical report or prescription refills. The worst form of negligence by doctors in the facility and admins who are focused on seeing patients as liability and obfuscating records to remove any exposure to liability arising from careless and degraded operating processes."

"this place sucks. I wwntvthere in the fall last year and I cant even start. Neglect, sexual assault/harassment. They don't respect pronouns and name changes, they ignore your needs. If you ask them for something simple they deny it, no physical contact. I had got sexually harassed there and i reported it to head taylor culberston and soy did the 4 others in residential, but Taylor ignores it and beloved and protected the kid SA people. Theybdon't know anything about mental health. When you actually show the real sides of mental health they get angry. If you get leveled down you get a 3-5 minute shower. it is unfair, and horrible. Choose any other program but this. They do NOT care about your child. They only care about the money. All you do is sit in therapy groups, not being able to even talk about your struggles, and they make you write down stupid ass dbt. Taylor does not know anything about what she is doing. Staff was not understanding. I hate this place, it is horrible"

Former staff:"The clients were treated like prisoners versus actual teens pursuing mental health wellness. Protocols put in place were excessive and dehumanizing. Extremely limited on the amount of skills they can choose from, if they don’t feel better, they’re considered to be “attention seeking”. Some staff degraded clients behind closed doors and it was an awful sight. Passive aggressive communication is common. You would think counselors and those alike would be more compassionate and empathetic. Management is the same way. Lastly, do not expect to get breaks at all. Kids need to be supervised at all times"

Oz

[justmeinadaze]

I had a very abusive relationship and after 9 years I was finally able to get away from him at the beginning of the year.

Today is his birthday and I have an urge to text him and I feel so silly because for some reason my brain wants to believe that what he did to me was not serious enough to make the decision to get him out of my life.

I don't know how to tell this to the people around me, if I myself think I am so stupid for that obviously others will think the same.

First of all, thank you for feeling comfortable sharing that with me❤.

Secondly it's never wrong to leave a toxic relationship and I'm so proud of you taking that step. I dont know if this helps but

I was abused through my childhood physically, mentally, and emotionally by a parent and I didnt leave until I was 13. Even I left I still kept her around because in my brain I was like "Shes my mom and shes sick. She cant help it. Other people have been through way worse."

Even though I was out of the house the emotional and mental abuse got worse not just towards me but the people around me. She accused my dad of things he didnt do. When he died she said she thought we'd finally be able to have me now (I was 23 and this was 3 months after he passed). When I lost a friend of mine 5 years ago she said the worst thing you could say to your kid and I knew then had to fully cut ties.

I havent talked to her in these 5 years and I'll tell ya I'm doing so much better. But... that doesnt mean I dont miss her. Sometimes I think about trying again with her but then I remember how far I've come.

The first time I told my friends about my abuse I remember I thought "oh they're going to think it's no big deal." But they were shocked and so encouraging.

If you tell someone what you've been through and they invalidate you and experiences in anyway then, honey, those arent people you want to have in your life.

The road to healing isnt easy but I assure you that you achieved the hardest step that some never reach... you left.

I see you and I'm proud of you❤

I'm sorry if I rambled a bit. PTSD brain skips sometimes.

[slutdge]

Tw medical abuse/ptsd: Medical abuse from holistic mothers gang UNITE - mine treated everything with essential oils, chiropractors, and gut healing. I get blindly angry when people bring up swapping basic, well controlled, dosed, medication- with fucking. ACUPUNCTURE ???? Seeing holistic practitioners and herbalists instead of doctors. The diets.

Yesssss omg it makes me so mad too, my mom said recently "if you guys were babies now i wouldnt have gotten you vaccinated", she chose holistic treatment over physical and medicinal treatment for her BPPV, she constantly denies my actual disabilities, she talked my pregnant sister into seeing a chiropractor for her pain instead of a real doctor which is so dangerous to her and her baby, and is adamant that i could just not be mentally ill if i meditated and took vitamins/essential oils. Its so fucked up to be raised like that. and like im speaking as someone who has been through the wringer of medical/psychiatric abuse but still, have some nuance, you can criticize the healthcare system and how its practiced without going full blown "crystals will cure my cancer" mode, and there are also even more infinite aspects to this i cant cover in a single short answer but denying disabled peoples needs in the name of holisticism is shitty and unexcusable for what i had to go through.

[itsalwaysdark]

future for scientist, bound for cadaver, and monster for both of them? 🤔

future: What's the worst possible future for your OC? Are they taking steps to avoid that outcome? Are they even aware it's a possibility?

SO unfortunately for scientist i think the worst outcome for her is. achieving immortality FJNFJFN despite that being the one thing shes working towards yk. i think deepdown she knows this but shes still pursuing it bc shes basically in denial abt it... i think her being immortal would rly enhance some of her worst traits. like she already feels disconnected/dofferent/isolated from other people (which is partially why shes pursuing immortality in the first place) but if she got it it would just be. soooo much worse. i truly believe if she did become immortal shed fuck off to like. the most isolated place on earth and shed never talk to another person ever again. Which she might think is a good thing but it absolutely would not be

bound: Has your OC ever been imprisoned or captured? What happened? How did they get out? Did the experience leave any scars?

soo this one is difficult bc cadavers backstory im changing my mind on it majorly atm... previously i did have him being arrested and held in prison for a while and then being broken out/recaptured by scientist but im not sure if i still want all that .. the like. nature of his ... Whole thing has changed a lot since i originally came up with her so im not sure if that still works. like it Could but idk... so this one is a bit of a weird question to answer atm bc i havent fully decided yet... i suppose depending on how much control you view cadaver as having you could say like. living with scientist is imprisonment but i do think if cadaver actually wanted to get out it probably could. SO idk... also scars r also being reconsidered in my mind bc previously i had him Getting scars but now im not sure if that actually makes sense with the healing thing... but the issue is one of the main reasons i made him is bc i think autopsy scars r cool 😭😭😭 so i dont know...

monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

scientist: YAY so i think scientist has always felt inherently other. but i think meeting cadaver RLY changed her for the worst like. she literally regularly murders another person. and yeah he gets better but you dont just like... even if its not permanent you cant just become ok with killing someone without being a little bit off. yk. i think physically shes human (unless i decide that she Does take on the whole possession thing. constant flipflopping in connorland) but i think mentally she goes from being like. kind of a misanthropic loner to being like. she basically simultaneously views cadaver as an ideal that shes jealous of (bc he has the one thing she wants, and bc she feels a sort of connection w it bc they have like.. similar but different motivations. yk...). and if the only person youve ever felt any sort of similarity to is a corpse possessed by ambiguous force i dont think youre like . you know ...

cadaver: so this is soo fun bc ive actually been considering having cadaver a bit more monstrous like. physically. bc obviously shes not human anymore BUT i think itd be fun if the possession had some physical effects on him... currently he just has the extreme healing/resurrection abilities but id imagine hed probably have some sort of enhanced strength as well. and i just love when possession has a physical component... but yes. EMOTIONALLY i think cadaver is weirdly in denial abt being a monster. like. i think she views the original part of her the one that died as like. the monstrous one. it feels more human now that its possessed bc prior to her death she was like. Somewhat similar to scientist in that she was very isolated but it was less of a choice if this makes sense. like scientist consciously isolates herself from ppl bc she just Assumes that they arent like. sorry im turning this into being about scientist again DJFNJF cadaver go lay at the bottom of the pool or something im busy. but yk she has that like. a view of herself thats seperate from other people/from humanity so she just doesnt bother talking to other people bc she assumes they would never understand. yk. so it is A choice to isolate from ppl (altho she also like..does not have social skills at all. as a result of this choice. so yk...) but w cadaver cadaver was alllways desperate for connection but in a like. rather than searching for One specific like. Unattainable kind of connection he wanted anything. and thats why she was so enthusiastic abt the connection bc it meant there would always be like. Someone. yk. and obv post connection shes a lot more like. confident and Able to make friends despite being physically more disconnected from humanity if this makes sense. so yes. i think cadaver is Literally more monstrous than scientist but i dont think thats how he feels abt himself at all.

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