#SHARE YOURS SPOILERS TALK ABOUT THE LEAK ENJOY THIS MEDIA IN THE WAY THAT YOU WANT TO NOT THE WAY THE CREATOR TELLS YOU TO

[usercelestial]

absolutely hilarious when people say 'you know neil gaiman wouldn't want you to do this" as if i, a lesbian, give any fucks about what a straight man would think of me

[popculturebuffet]

Amphiba: True Colors Review or FINALLY THE  FINALE

We’re finally here all you happy people! Ten Months, 36 episodes, 20 half hours, a lot of gay subtext, a lot of bloodshed, and a lot of build up have lead us all here! One absolutely STUFFED finale: A trust is betrayed, a rebllion is had, a conquerer rises and NOTHING will ever be the same.. and yes htat’s thrown around a lot but this is one of those times where NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME. This is that kind of finale folks. 

But before I can get into all the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for there’s a few things to discuss.. and the first is obviously the fact we had to wait three goddamn extra weeks to get here after spending all season leading up to this. 

You all know the story by now. Hell I even angirly ranted about it when it happened and rightfully so. But frankly the colossal delay is going to be such an integral and permeant part of this episode and this show’s history that not talking about it in this review would do it a diservice: So to recap: The finale was posted to air  May 1st, a weak after “The Dinner/Battle of the Bands”. I had it set in my schedule, it showed up in that month’s press release of Disney Channel Episodes, We were all ready to go with all the tight and intense build up leading up to this. 

Then the worst happened and Disney aburbtly, and with a funny face image trying to play it off as a joke annoucned via it’s animation twitter the episode would be delayed. Now in fairness to the twitter person there, they were PROBABLY trying to help massage a blow... but seriously dude, read the room next time.  Thankfully creator Matt Braly stepped in and explained it was technical delays. After what happened the next day I ASSUMED he was just trying to cover for them as it would turn out the episode was finished.. turns out, and I had to edit the review to reflect this the truth was somewhere in the middle. Edits were more discussed, likely due to the episodes very violent nature, and the episode was given a content warning. Given what happens.. I can’t blame Disney for wanting one or for thinking of editing it.. but canblamehtem for the “Things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY’ nature of the edist and the insuing delay. 

I can also blame them for leaking the episode on ITUNES. Yeah if they were REALLY concenred abotu content then they would’ve held off longer and not brought this up five minutes before it aired, delaying the episode for many. Hell I DEFENEDED them in the original version of this, but they had MONTHS of this episode being in production to fucking say something. WHy do this five mintues before it’s finished? 

It just smacks of laziness and overly panicy stuff. A content warning would’ve been FINE. You ahve it for racisim on Disney Plus, just put one here and call it a day. You haven’t objected to the horrifying content in the series up to this point why start NOW.  And they STILL never apologized. For any of this. For the leak, for the delay, never properly explaining the delay (Matt didn’t either.. but given how twitchy comapnies can be about what their creators say, I can’t blame him for not wanting to clarify it was a post credit’s thing till closer to airtime), just in general not giving a shit abotu the kids or adults watching this. Just because kids watch thiis dosen’t me older kids don’t have social media, and it dosen’t mean teens don’t. If you want to pretend us adults watching this don’t exist.. fine. It sucks but I can’t do anything. But do not do this shit to kids and then not go to them. And again Matt could’ve.. but it’s not his fucking job. His job is to make a show, help make sure it gets to air and be a sweeheart. YOURS is to make sure things run smoothly and when their is a hickup,get your house in order. 

Matt shoudln’t of HAD to beg people not to watch it. Various va’s for the show shoudln’t of HAD to record funny messages.. it was appricated but it’s not thier job to prevent this from spreading. It’s yours. It’s yours to open your damn eyes and see adults and older teens watch this stuff too and to head that shit off. This incident is going to stick in my craw for god knows how long and ALMOST convinced me not to cover Owl House weekly (I still woud’ve likely done a review on each half of the season). I ended up renegeing on that and will be starting regular coverage of that in June and continuing coverage of this show whenever it returns.. but it was close. 

And it’s ultimately YOU GUYS that kept me hanging in there. It was thanks to a Disney show this blog exists in the first place, and contiunes to get the bulk of it’s viewers. It’s how I got my patreon, biggest fan and bfinacial backer Kev. I’ts why I can do what I love, talking about and analyzing stuff I enjoy and ocasionally loathe. You guys came back week after week for my ducktales reviews and stayed for Amphibia. I”m sure i’ll get even more for Owl House. It’s thanks to all of you I can keep going despite the hardships, the lack of patreons, the long nights, the weird sleep schedules. I wouldn’t of made it through 20 weeks of awesome tv without you. So for you, and for myself, i’ll hang in there but I expect better Disney. And i’m damn well gonna get it. So join me under the cut as the world turns upside down.. and there are a LOT of spoilers. Seriously if you want to wait for the tv airing do not go under the cut

So we open with a flashback to 8 months ago, the day all this began: Marcy was working in the library on her cram classes, getting texts from both Sasha, who was excited about Anne’s birthday, and her own father who wants her to come home right away as there’s something important they need to discuss. 

But before she can a book about the strange and what not naturally slips out and Mar-Mar can’t help but thumb through it.. and as you were no doubt dreading.. finds the box which is said in a large tv friendly caption to lead to other worlds. 

Naturally Marcie is intrigued and snaps a pick and heads home... and we cut to the END of that conversation as she tearfully runs out of the house , refusing to accept what they’ve told her and her dad coming off hella unsympathetic with his overly harsh tone, especially since we DO find out what he told her... and it’s a lot to put on her and a lot to just say “accept because I helped make you for all of two unsatisfying minutes. “ 

So while running away she passes the box.. and sets the events from both the show’s opening and the flashback from the last finale in motion. Marcy sent them here on purpose.

Yeah needless to say I DIDN’T see this coming. And it seems obvious in hindsight: Marcy being the one most desperate to keep thier friendship together, as we’ll see at it’s worst through this episode, her barely mentioning going home, and most tellingly the only things she talks about from earth were Anne, Sasha and her dorky intrests. All the things closest to the heart and that she’s most likely to make out with.. but while Anne brings up earth stuff every so often even after getting more screen time in Season 2b... Marcy NEVER talks about that kind of stuff. She has her girlfriends and a real life fantasy novel right here... but she DOSEN’T miss her parents or earth itself. And given her life was already shown to be as an outcast with only two people carring about her, three with her mom now we know, who never REALLY fit in and whose on friends very clearly didn’t share her intrests.. it probably made it all the more tempting: a real adventure, an escape from her problems, and a way to start over: become who she always PLAYED and not who she was. Everything just.. snaps into place with this revelation and makes Marcy an all the more heartbreaking character... even more so soon enough when we find out what her overall plan was. 

But that’s half an episode away: for now our party returns on Joe to Newtopia.. though clumsly. Marcy admits that they probably can’t fit more people on him. But with this our heroes are ready to finish this story and with a plan since obviously they can’t just walk into town with two wanted crminals: Marcy will present the box and THEN sasha and grime, who will cloak themselves to avoid attracting attentions, with literal cloaks Marcy hasn’t made a cloaking device yet, so hopefully they’ll get a pardon. 

Inside Sprig and Anne talk, with Sprig admitnig he’s sad this is the last adventure.. but Anne has hope. After all they have a way home now and that portal goes both ways. She can hop back any time and vice versa. This sin’t goodbye.. it’s just goodbye for now. And i’ts something I genuinely didn’t think of.. and not just because Andrias’ shady actions and Sasha and Grime’s machinations meant this was NEVER going to end well. 

Speaking of Sasha and Grime’s machinations those come to a head: As our heroes enter the castle, greeted by Lady Olivia, and we get our typical end of the RPG speech from the “Good” king.... Sasha swipes the box and Grime uses the hammer to knock everyone off ballance. The coup the two have been cooking up has come to pass. 

Anne and Marcy’s reactions.. are telling: Anne is utterly pissed at the betryal and done with Sasha and Marcy is begging both sides to stop as this was not how it was supposed to end. Sasha tries to use a box as a baranging chip, and plans to destroy it if Andrias dosen’t surrender despite destroying her way home. Given it’s implied her home life isn’t great either and she gets to rule an empire instead of a school, it’s easy to see why. 

Grime stops him from calling her bluff though by wacking him in the shins and then hodling him at hammer point to get the military of Newtopia to stand down while his covert Toad agents reveal themselves and runamuck. Grime has won. 

Anne meanwhile is livid, with Sasha not quite getting why MAYBE Anne would once again feel betrayed that once again Sasha is trying to do everything her way and once again lied to her and harmed innocent people. Anne breaks off their friendship which deeply uspets Marcy.. who weirldy. ISN’T trying to talk Sasha out of this. After all she gets what she wanted anyway. She IS upset when Sasha tries to send them home for defiance.. but the box dosen’t work for her and she simply has the guards escort our heroes and Olivia out till she can figure this out. 

Naturally though Anne, being pissed, heartbroken and pissed, and yes that was indeed intentional, HEADBUTTS the nearest guard and breaks them out, with the planatrs starting to fight back. Their still outnumbered.. but help arrives 

Or rather the Amphibia equilvent as both wolverines are busy with prep for the Hellfire Gala. Yes it’s General Yunan, who Lady Olivia cuts off probably not for the first time. Your lucky that’s one of her turn on’s lady.

So our heroes sneak out and head to Sals, while the Toads wreck up the town. Marcy... is of course desperate to fix things, but figures it’s easy. All they have to do is free the king, stop the rest of the army from arriving, their an hour away, and cementing grime’s foothold, get her girlfriends to reconcile and fix the inherent power imbalance so a rebellion doesn’t’ happen again. 

But Anne rouses them: They may be a goofus, a quick witted kid, an out of touch old man, a literal baby, am etaphorical baby, and a nerd.. but their a BADASS Goofus, kid, old man, babies and nerd... and two other ladies the toads actually know and respect. They’ve fought worse: Canibals, princess bride references, theater bandits, chicken elder gods, Poly’s addiction to angry mobs and paste pot pete and come back stronger each time. They can do this. They might only be 8 strangers, but together they can fuck up this shit. or to have a previously mentioned buddy of mine sum it up

So with that it’s time to split up gang: Marcy, Hop Pop and Olivia will go free the king using Hop Pop’s acting skills...which actually works despite Olvia’s doubts. Polly, Yunan and Frobo will put the hammer down and give them hell, taking out the toads in the city and drawing all of them away from the gate where Spriganne will trigger it thus saving the day. 

Meanwhile Sasha is feeling discontent. She got everything she wanted.. but she didn’t think about what to DO with all that power. At home she could do all sorts of things ruling a school but now she’s lost one of the loves of her life. Without Anne and Marcy i’ts just empty. Even Grime’s utterly heartfelt gift of an emerald sword, he knew she always wanted to duel wield that has a heron on it, a sign of how they met and a truly sweet gesture can’t cheer her up. So Grime suggests redecorating and the first thing to go is a sappy mural of Andrias and his subjects. What they find UNDER it though is horrifying.. and i’ts surprisingly not a bunch of spiders like you’d expect.. but a mural of Andrius as some sort of horrible king with an army of robot frogs like Frobo, with a LOT of frog, toad and newt skeletons piled up. Sasha and Grime are glad they dodged that bullet.. only to find Anne scaling the tower with Sprig, the two naturally going to stop them.

 The two try and turn the wheel, but can’t as there’s a doorstop... one they DEFINTELY saw earlier when looking out the window of Sal’s.

Regardless they send Polly for that.. and the rematch begins. Sasha TRIES talking to Anne.. but given she stabbed her in the back AGAIN for incredbly petty reasons, that’s not going to work and the two get one hell of a fight. Beautifully animated and rife with emotion as the two clash with Sasha DESPERATLY trying to get Anne to stop for a second and listen and Anne rightly refusing, while we watching know our hero winning will spell DOOM for this world despite her trying to do the right thing. Anna and Brenda’s acting here is just TOP notch. In any other episode this would be the best part of it.. but we’re only getting warmed up.

While they fight, we get a surprising and awesome bout I did not see coming: Sprig Vs Grime. And it gives me Spider-Man vs Kingpin vibes really: A rotund but still far more powerful opponent versus a smaller but quicker one. And that’s how even more shockingly, Sprig comes out the WINNER. While Grime has the hammer and more strength and skill... Sprig has speed and thus gets Grime to whack himself with it. Granted he can’t use the thing and comically spins around afterword.. but it proves Grime’s racist thoughts about frogs wrong and leaves Anne free to turn the wheel once she beats Sasha. The invasion is thwarted.

But naturally given the ooky spooky mural and the other hints of ominous shit like the watcher with a thousand eyes, this isn’t the end. Back at the throne room, with Sasha and Grime as prisoners Anne gives Andrias the box despite sasha begging her not to. But rather than send her home right away.. he has a history lesson for her first. And nothing good ever starts with someone delaying helping you to give a sinister history lesson let me tell you.

We find out the while truth: Amphibia was once a technological empire powered by the box, and prosperity SEEMINGLY reigned, and Andrias, much like our heroines, had two close friends, a toad and a frog. But one day they betrayed him, abandoning him and seemingly stealing the box , leaving his mechanical marvels powerless and Andrias bitter and angry. Hence the whole revenge ploy. 

In an unsurprising and invincible-esque twist, he reveals his ancestors were not explorers but CONQUERERS and he intends to finish their work, placing the box on a pedestal that turns his castle into a flying fortress glowing blue. It only gets worse from there: the castle’s awakening also activates factories around Amphibia similar to the one we saw back in “Fort in the Road” that gave us Frobo and it turns out their dark purpose.. is to create armies of unstoppable soldiers to secure his dominon.... and spread it to the other worlds. The reason he didn’t send the girls home is he figures correctly Anne and the others will try and stop him from TAKING it. 

So yeah Anne’s reaction is very naturally...

And despite being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned she plans to make an all out stand. She realizes that her own fight with Sasha only allowed something FAR WORSE to take hold. She’s not WRONG for fighting her, Sasha was being a shithead taking over and did so for flimsy and selfish reasons and she had no reason to listen to her.. but had she at least thought over giving him the box and not simply given it to him to spite her none of this would be happening. So she and the plantars get ready for round 2, with Sasha having her back this time, and Grime having Sasha’s. It’s a really sweet moment, showing Sasha has realized just how much her own greedy and controlling ambitions have cost her and that she’s brought about something far worse thorugh them, and is ready to make amends and Grime as always ready to stand by the only true family he has. 

But before the carnage can begin.. Marcy stops them... and then tearfully turns to Andrias “This wasn’t our deal!”. Andrias, now not having to play nice, dosen’t care and cruelly points out of course he did: He would’ve said whatever it took to get her to fill the box and she did it. He also hints at Marcy’s dark secret, with both girls wondering what the hell he’s on about.. but clearly starting to piece it together, with Andrias cruelly toying with Marcy to tell them before he does.. and barely gives her any time before going ahead with it anyway, knowing she’d be unable to. And with this we get the best line of the episode and Keith david’s best delivery.. and given he makes a fucking seven course meal of the entire second act, yeah that’s a high bar.

"Did it ever occur to you — Anne, Sasha — that one of you knew more than she was letting on? That one of you might've gotten you stranded in Amphibia... on purpose?"

The line itself hits like a sledgehammer. We knew for the full episode she did this on purpose.. but we also knew at some point it was clearly going to come out and hurt them both.. and to see someone Marcy clearly saw as a better replacement dad, someone she thought cared about her and was offering her her dreams for no gain on his end cruelly tell them clearly for his own amusment as he dosen’t remotely see them as a threat.. it’s utterly chilling as it is heartbreakiing and horrifying. 

Naturally Anne and Sasha are upset, Sasha a bit baffled and Anne just utterly broken by this: She’d already been betrayed TWICE by the other love of her life.. now MARCY had betrayed her.. and WORSE? 

And it only gets worse as Marcy heartbreakingly reveals her motivation and what this was really all about: Her dad announced he got a new job and they were moving a state away.. and like I said he’s a prick. Not for moving, that happens and it sucks but for having no freaking empathy about it. Maybe if he took a parenting class earth wouldn’t be on the cusp of a robot invasion. Marcy was about to loose her girls and was desperate.... so naturally Andrias claimed to simply want to take them all with him on his journeys, obviously leading out the conquest and likely genocide part, so they could go on and on FOREVER. And this whole thing gave Anne the plantars so it’s not all bad right? Right? But it’s clear she’s trying to desperatly lie to herself this was all okay as she’s been doing ever since she started this all 8 months ago and Anne pointing out she misses her family, something Marcy never considered given her own reasons for leaving and how Sasha likely dosen’t have a happy family life herself. 

This.. this is Haley Tju’s finest hour. She’s done good voice work before, especially in this series but here, with Marcy’s anguish, desperation and guilt all leaking out as she tries to get her girlfriend not to turn away from her. it’s all just amazing heartbreaking stuff and I salute her and the animation does her fine acting a service and shows every bit of pain in the poor girls face. 

Anne naturally does turn away a bit and Marcy cries.. but Anne quickly recovers... while she obviously isn’t entirely ready to forgive Marcy JUST yet, it’s clear she wasn’t thinking straight and did all of this out of desperation... and that the hulking dickbag who betrayed them all and is gloating about all of this manipulated her, preying on her desperation and anguish to finish his plan.  Marcy fucked up big time, no question.. but ANDRIAS is the true monster here, and if he’s not stopped this world she’s grown to love and the one she left behind will BURN. Anne may be many things: impulsive, kinda weird, easy to anger.. but she is over all that a HERO. And there’s a villian to stop

Andrias, while not seeing them as remotely a threat, does admit this will probably be fun and the fight begins, with our heroes, including Marcy, easily besting the Obsdian Swarm.. as i’m calling them now. It’s a cools equence.. but ultimately futile. Andrias is FAR more powerful than he’s let on with the box. And shows it off by destroying toad tower before coming at them with a fire sowrd, easily swatting them aside like flies. They try their best to fight back but it’s not much use, and Andrias NEARLY crushes polly to death under his fist. Yes a fucking child. What a dick. 

Frobo saves him... and sadly this is the end for our new friend as Andrias is mildly amused that one of his creations glitched.. then smashes him into robotic paste. Polly rightfully calls him a monster and his response is as chilling as it is wonderfully dickish: “Don’t worry, your next”. 

Thankfully though she got out of the way.. because she has LEGS now. It’s also why I keep saying 8 months, though it’s likely more like 9 given it took a month to get to newtopia: 

The prophecy has come true! And while she stumbles for a second Polly quickly proves she can really move, she has an attitude and she’s the fastest thing alive by grabbing the box seemingly winning.. except Andrias has sprig in his fist and is going to crush or drop him ulness she stops. And despite Sprig BEGGING his sister to let him go for the sake of everyone else, like any good hero she naturally puts the box back. 

Anne begs for him to let Sprig go since he got what he wanted and he’s her best friend in this or any world... but all this does is insprie Andrias to DROP HIM OUT A WINDOW, bitter over his own past and eager to torture her some more. This really shows off who Andrias REALLY is now the mask is off; a sadistic tyrannical bully who relishes in making his victims really squirm, revels in malevolence and is just so damn gleeful about it: Not to say BIll Cipher levels more of a cold, cruel enjoyment of things. 

As I said earlier Keith David makes a motherfucking Seven Course Meal out of the second half of this episode, utterly stealing the show now he can play Andrias as he truly is: not skulng in the shadows with ominus hints he’s evil or pretending to be nice, but instead as a sadistic brute who delights in suffering and wants nothing less than everything under his boothill. in short he’s an AWESOME antagonist and while Keith David has played TREMENDOUS villains before, this one will easily be his best if the writing holds. Andrias is Keith David at his fucking best and proves the Disney legend has EVEYRTHING left in the tank even as he approaches 70′s. Jesus I fucking love this man. 

So this causes anne to retreat into herself, leaving us in a black void as Anne remembers all the good times.. and goes MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAYIAN. Well more accurately super sayian god super sayian, or blueper sayian if you will, but still i’ts a n utterly striking sequence and a clear direct shout out with Anne getting her powers the same way Goku did: loosing someone to an utterly cruel bastard. Same with Gohan’s upgrade to super sayian 2. It’s just a truly striking sequence as she powers up in a FULL rage, DEMANDNIG he give him back. 

Andrais is stunned, clearly knowing this was something she was capable of but thought she could no longer do as the box shoudlv’e drained her of the ablility, while Hop Pop and Grime wonder if this is a human thing. 

So Anne WAILS on the fucker, easily besting a shocked andrias despite his best attempts.. but she tires out and he swats her aside, gleefully noting she dosen’t know how to control it. Sprig turns out to be okay though. Marcy went and saved him while Anne was rippig Andrias asunder.. and then activates the box. Sasha and Grime hold him off while Anne makes a run for it with the plantars while Andrias gives out your standard villian big no. Anne and Fam make it... but Marcy is taking a sec.. and that second gets her GUTTED. Not an exageration or me being a smart ass like usual.. Andrias RAN HER THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD. 

His only response is “Look what you made me too and Anne and crew are warped away, unable to save her. 

So we end with our heroes landing somewhere and Sprig wondering where they are... where they are is on the top of a car on a busy Los Angeles Freeway... and in front of two very weirded out humans. Anne is home. 

So now for the part that wasn’t in the original release apparently: The teaser.. aka THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON 3 OPENING. 

Hell. Yes. Just a few quick personal notes before we hit the wrap up: I love how the season will be on earth, a nice change of pace, how the Boonchuy’s have very clearly warmly welcomed the plantars, the expanded cast at the title card, and how Disney just let them go ALL out for this one. They’ve clearly stopped being cheap assholes when it comes to letting intro’s change or at the very least got this was the very end of the series and thus important enough to gussie up. But yes the end is nigh.. and probably not till late this year if this year AT ALL And I will return for it. Well return to doing this show anyway, i’m not going anywhere. They’ll have to pry this blog from my cold dead hands. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is the series best so far. My only honest complaint is the Toad Invasion comes and goes really quickly and I question why it was crammed into half the episode. Don’t get me wrong, Andrias’ rise needed the full 10 minutes, but I question why we dind’t get an episode before this settingit up and THEN have it happen over half an episode, epsecially since we spent an entire episode on getting the other toad barons involved only for ONE of them to show up for all of five minutes. 

Otherwise though? Yeah no notes. The cast is at the top of their damn game, with Brenda Song, Hailey Tju and Keith Motherfucking David as the standouts, the animatoin is likewise, and it pays off a thing or two you wouldn’t expect like the acting episode. This is a truly outstanding finale, one that has now joined other all time faviorite season finales such as “You’re In Control”, “Reunited”, “The Crossroads of Destiny”, and “Moonvasion”. I will be watching this again when it comes to Disney Plus. Masterful stuff.

As for the season as a whole.. this was a great season. While it did start a bit rocky with the road trip arc, which I’m still not a huge fan of as I feel it mostly wasted an awesome idea of them going on a world spanning roadtrip with some fairly weak episodes, with the exception of standouts “Truckstop Polly” and “Wax Museum”. 

But once we got to Netwopia it got better, with better spotlight episodes, the pacing picking up and Marcy joining our merry crew. And it hit it’s peak with the second half of the season: the return to wartwood effortlessly combined slice of life with the compelling temple episodes. It was also a nice break before the utter hell that arrived in the finale, but still nicely lead up to said finale.  This season may of STARTED bumpy but it finished at it’s highest point and with one epic finale to go it’s only going to get better from here. 

As for this blog the same holds true: Review wise next week i’ll be taking a break from normal reviews to do a week’s worth of Goofy based content in time for his birthday, from shorts, to goof troop, to hosue of mouse, to an obscure special, all leading up to the Disney Classic A Goofy Movie. So stick around.

And if that dosen’t do it for you I have an ongoing retrospective on the story arcs of ducktales season 2, i’m nearing the end of one on Scott Pilgrim and in the middle of one of The Life and Times of Scrogoe McDuck. and if you prefer weekly reviews, as I mentioned earlier offhandidly i’ll be covering the Owl House! LIke Amphibia i’m starting with Season 2, but just like with this show i’m excited as all hell and hope you’ll join me. And if you need even more I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, where I have exclusive reviews if you choose to back me as well as exciting stretch goals, one of which down the line is reviewing season one of this very show. So join it and if not that’s okay too, either way.. it’s been a pleasure. 

[dailytomlinson]

Back in December, a month before Louis Tomlinson’s debut album Walls was released, I had the honor to attend one of his album release parties in Atlanta, Georgia.

I expected my year to go differently: to travel across the country to attend several Louis shows. Little did I know sitting in the local bar in Atlanta it would be the last time I would see the musician who changed my life for the foreseeable future.

Even though nine months have passed, I can still say it was one of the greatest days of my life.

The three-hour drive to Georgia felt like five, but once the Atlanta skyline appeared over the Interstate, my mind filled with anticipation and excitement knowing I would hug Louis in near hours and hear Walls for the first time. Being in a bar with Louis just hanging out with only a few selected fans seemed unfathomable. We checked into our downtown hotel, which was paid for by Sony, and got ready with only a few hours to spare.

Once the Uber dropped us off at the bar, reality hit me. I would be in close proximity inside with the artist who shaped and saved my life — and I just wanted to remember it forever. I wanted to stay frozen in this moment. As we waited outside, the radio host, Adam Bomb, handed us papers to write our questions on. He reminded us to keep the questions respectful and music-centered if we wanted them to be considered. My question was, “I know songwriting is the major part of the album process for you. Can you talk a little bit about your songwriting process?” It wasn’t asked, but one of Bomb’s questions was about his writing process.

Fifteen long minutes waiting outside in the cold, and we were inside. The radio station confiscated our phones at the door to protect Louis’s unreleased music. A couple of tables surrounded a high chair, where Louis would sit for the interview.

My friends and I sat at a table straight across from the chair with a clear view of Louis. Adam Bomb sat in the chair next to Louis’s, and he flipped through the cue cards for preparation of the exclusive event.

“Please welcome to the room, Louis Tomlinson!”

Louis, dressed in a black sweater, jeans, and the usual sneaker, walked out from a curtain in the corner of the room. Smiley and waving, he admired the small room of fans who cheered and shouted for his entrance.

He sat in his chair, inches from where my friends and I sat, smiling occasionally at our table. Adam asked Louis a couple questions about the album (I can’t even recall what because I sat there in silent awe admiring him). It was the happiest I ever felt. It was an out-of-body experience where I wanted to pinch myself to wake up. I just couldn’t believe this was real.

As Louis exited the room, Adam talked to the crowd about how special and exclusive it is for us to hear songs from an unreleased album. He reminded us to be respectful and to enjoy Louis’s hard work.

The first track played. “Too Young.”

The audio was extremely quiet, and Louis shouted from behind the curtain, “Oi! Turn it up!” We all laughed, and Bomb turned up the volume letting the poetic words be heard. The room was silent with everyone intensely listening to the love song. I sat with my jaw open, and tears immediately filled my eyes. I couldn’t believe Louis wrote something so poetic and purposeful. Immediately, I knew this album would be better than anyone expected.

Louis’s photographer, along with the radio station’s, captured fans’ reactions and even recorded and photographed my friends and me from across the room. I felt so humiliated that my tears and freak-out with my friends were being documented, but one of the workers later told us our reactions made the room fun and she could tell how much he meant to us.

Later, a photo of me and my friends was plastered on Louis’s and the radio’s social media.

We listened to “Perfect Now” and “Walls” and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Louis peaking around the curtain wanting to see our reactions to his years of hard work. He signaled to his security guard to give us tissues and he came to our table and handed us napkins for our tears.

After we listened to the songs, Louis sat back down for the interview. He said it was a beautiful thing to see a reaction like that from fans after working so hard as a solo artist. It was evident he loved being in a room with fans, we mean so much to him and we make him extremely comfortable.

He talked about the tour and how he wanted to keep it authentic and intimate for the fans. Bomb asked about his Live Life Love show in Nashville days prior, which I attended, and when we clapped he laughed and said, “Yeah, yeah, you were there.” I couldn’t believe he remembered us from the meet-and-greet just days ago.

Bomb followed up with his joke and asked if he sees fans freak out on the front row, and then he pointed at us and said, “You’ve been front row, I know you have,” smiling and laughing at our shocked faces.

https://twitter.com/Q997Atlanta/status/1202402335168901123

Bomb asked a couple of fan questions. Louis talked about his writing process, tour, and Walls. The interview was kept professional and exciting, which I appreciated.

After the interview, Bomb invited everyone to the front for a group selfie. Things became extremely intense when Louis was almost mobbed by fans who shoved chairs down to run up to him. Rylee, a fan Louis donated money to make her home accessible, was blocked by fans from coming to the front to be seen. At this exact moment, I knew I spent ten years of my life supporting the right person. He firmly asked the girls to move so Rylee could come to the front, and when they didn’t, he walked to the back and moved a chair out of her way so she was able to be seen in the photo. I wanted to sob when I saw him go out of his way for someone who has spent most of her life looked over. He truly has a heart of gold.

After the selfie, we lined up for the meet and greet with him. His smile was so contagious and he greeted every fan with a warm hug. He signed Donny jerseys and drew tattoos for fans, and as the line inched closer, my eyes filled with tears and my heart raced. Before I knew it, my friend was hugging Louis and he looked me up and down, arms wide open for a hug greeted with a huge smile. We talked briefly, I hugged him again, and I walked off. It’s hard to put into words, but his positive energy is contagious and hugging him feels like home. He’s such a special soul.

After I met him, they made us leave the bar, and my friends and I waited to wave him bye as he left. I wanted to have a tattoo drawn by him, but my anxious mind forgot. Maybe one day, though. My friends and I hung outside for a while and the radio team interviewed us for their social media.

https://twitter.com/Q997Atlanta/status/1202437699317174273

To be in the room for such a special moment to share with an artist you’ve looked up to is truly the greatest feeling ever. I never want to forget how happy and excited I was during those thirty minutes. Leaving the party, I wanted to be able to listen to the songs over and over — but I couldn’t for another month. Being one of only a handful of people who heard Walls before its release was so special yet so tough at the same time. It was hard to keep everything to myself and not leak spoilers, but I knew I had to do it for Louis. I wrote down lyrics and everything I could remember from the album to cherish until Walls was released.

My closest friends were able to join me on this once in a lifetime journey, and here’s what they had to say about the experience.

What was your favorite moment from the party?

Caitlin: My favorite moment was telling him that I would see him four times on tour. His response was, “Thank you, love,” and he looked so happy when I told him that.

Bri: My favorite moment from the listening party is whenever we took the group picture with Louis! He realized this little girl named Rylee wasn’t anywhere near and went out of his way to go help her get into the picture. He ended up putting her in the front with him and that just warmed my heart to the max.

Makayley: My favorite moment from the party was definitely hugging him and watching him interact with Rylee, but I also loved listening to the songs with everyone and the excitement of it all.

How did you react when you found out you won?

Caitlin: It was super last minute when I found out I was able to go. I was super excited because I have always wanted to attend a listening party.

Bri: When I found out I won passes to the listening party, my mind went everywhere! I was crying, shaking, screaming, and panicking. I was the last winner, the last hour. It was CRAZY!

Makayley: I had a panic attack in math class and um thirty minutes later (oops)

What was your favorite song from the three we heard?

Caitlin: My favorite song was “Perfect Now.” Something about it put me in the feels.

Bri: My favorite song out of the three we listened to has to be “Perfect Now.” The lyrics spoke to my soul. Especially the lyric that said, “Keep your head up, love.” Just due to the fact, I’ve gone through some difficult times in life and just hearing that sent me into orbit. I was crying a lot at first but then went into a place of peace and happiness.

Makayley: “Walls” definitely.

What was your initial reaction from the songs?

Caitlin: I was really impressed with the lyrics. Being able to listen to those songs for the first time was super special. I thought the sound was definitely in his lane.

Bri: I could not just have one reaction to the songs we heard. I was happy, sad, surprised, a random emotion you can’t even describe.

Makayley: I was just really proud knowing how hard he had worked on it and how far he’s come.

Did Louis answer your question? What was his response

Caitlin: Louis did answer my question about which song off the album are you most excited to play on tour to which he responded, “Probably ‘Kill My Mind.’”

Bri: No, Louis did NOT answer my question but I was happy with the ones that did get answered.

Makayley: No.

Do you wish they did anything differently about the party?

Caitlin: I wish they would have allowed us more time to talk and spend with him. the meet and greet was rushed I think. but overall it was a fun experience.

Bri: Absolutely not. It was fine as it was. So close together, we all understood each other, etc.. It was amazing!

Makayley: No, I liked the way it was very chilled out and in the setting, it was (my only problem was with the accessibility of it).

What was meeting Louis like for you?

Caitlin: Super special. it was so nice to get to say hi to him and just tell him how much I love him and couldn’t wait to see his tour.

Bri: Meeting Louis was anxiety-filled. It was my first time ever meeting one of the people I look up to. Overall, it was an amazing experience. Louis was the sweetest and most genuine person ever!

Makayley: Meeting Louis was definitely a monumental moment as for all he had helped Rylee and myself with. But, hugging him definitely got me through a rough patch, and the feeling that the hug gave me still helps me to this day.

[bog-o-bones]

Kaiju Media Forecast 2020

The kaiju fandom has certainly seen a gigantic upswing in content since the last time I did one of these “year going forward” reviews. Let’s take a look at some of the major movies, events, merchandise and more that kaiju fans have to look forward to in the coming year!

Movies

Every year since at least 2013, the kaiju fandom has had one “tentpole” film event of the year, usually the most highly anticipated feature coming out that year that most media and merchandise hype will surround. This year’s choice is the latest (and possibly last?) of the Legendary MonsterVerse which just last year introduced us to the first American incarnations of Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah. Later this year, the King of the Monsters will once again take on the King of Skull Island in a rematch nearly 60 years in the making with Godzilla vs. Kong. The only snippet of footage we’ve seen is featured in the screenshot above and recently leaked toy fair displays have quite a lot in store for the big crossover event of the MonsterVerse. Godzilla vs. Kong drops November 20th.

According to your definition, the first kaiju film of 2020 launched two weeks ago with Underwater. The Kristen Stewart-helmed deep-sea monster movie isn’t really making the splash it was looking for box office-wise and most people who have seen it say that it’s okay at worst. Regardless, if you like big monsters and quasi-Cloverfield type films, you can give it a shot in theaters now or in a few months when it hits home media.

Godzilla’s sole big screen appearance won’t just be limited to the big crossover with Kong as a snow-covered cameo role will land him a spot in the new Shinkalion movie. From a clip posted on Yahoo Japan (refresh the page if it doesn’t work) Godzilla briefly faces Hatsune Miku piloting a giant train-based mecha (I tried pinching myself, believe me) at the very end. This role is likely going to be very short but nonetheless, it’s always satisfying to see Godzilla pop up in the most unexpected places.

Again, stretching the definition of “kaiju” here, but also apparently the Monster Hunter movie still exists and is coming out later this year in September? I don’t know much about the franchise, but I do know it’s probably going to be butchered with a Paul W.S. Anderson directed schlock fest. Who knows, maybe the monster scenes will make up for it?

As is tradition, the Ultraman franchise hits us once again with an annual theatrical movie based off the previous year’s show. Ultraman Taiga The Movie: New Generation Climax will be out in March and judging by the title, will feature a climactic event featuring the New Generation assortment of Ultraman heroes. I still have yet to see Taiga but hopefully this provides a fun conclusion to the show.

Famed director Hideaki Anno returns to the world of his most famous creation with Evangelion 3.0+1.0, the highly anticipated final installment in the Rebuild series to be released this June. I have not seen any of the Rebuild movies myself but this is sure to be a wild and crazy ride for Evangelion fans.

Finally, the oddball of the bunch. Kadokawa rises from it’s dusty grave with a brand new monster film focused on the unproduced predecessor to Gamera: Nezura 1964. Featuring giant rat monsters and a cast comprised of many Daiei/Kadokawa favorites, it’ll be interesting to see if this film can capitalize on the recent kaiju craze and be successful enough to possibly give our old turtle friend the revival he truly deserves. Nezura 1964 is due out in December in Japan.

Television

Not much on the television docket this year. It’s far too early to speculate about Tsuburaya’s next Ultra series, leaving us with little to discuss. Studio Trigger is supposedly making some kind of new series related to it’s Gridman show from last year (another item I have yet to see). Titled SSSS.DYNAZENON, nobody knows when it’s due out so for all I know this could be a rather outdated entry.

What we do know for sure is coming is something not particularly kaiju but still related via the tokusatsu connection is the continuation of Kamen Rider Zero-One, the first Rider series in Japan’s newly named Reiwa period. This isn’t really related to the year 2020 but honestly I’d rather have something in this TV section to talk about than just the Gridman sequel.

Merchandise

Last year was one of the greatest years in the history of the American Ultraman fandom with the officially sanctioned releases of Ultra Q, Ultraman, Ultraseven, Ultraman Orb and Ultraman Geed to Blu-Ray in the West for the very first time. In this new year, Mill Creek will continue to satiate the needs of Western Ultra fans with releases of previously unseen-on-western-disc series Return of Ultraman, Ultraman Ace, Ultraman X, and the Ultraman Orb Origin Saga. A schedule flyer released online also teases many other entries in the franchise making the continuous release of these beloved shows a treat to look forward to. You can pre-order the four releases discussed above on Amazon.

American toy company Playmates acquired the license for the Godzilla vs. Kong toyline last year and in early January, a few figures from their non-film focused toylines showed up at Walmarts across the country. They’re uh...well, let’s be honest: they’re not great. Leaked images of the Godzilla vs. Kong toyline were also shared around social media but I’ll avoid talking about them here for spoiler purposes. Let’s just say the line is looking mighty juicy for kaiju fans and it will be interesting to see if they’re promoted come New York Toy Fair.

Bandai’s Movie Monsters Series line will likely continue to issue newly reissued/remolded monsters in the Godzilla line (as well as produce new figures for Godzilla vs. Kong) but coming out in March is a sight for sore eyes: a brand new sculpt of the 1995 Gamera design for the 25th anniversary of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe. Hopefully a Super Gyaos is not far behind!

The S.H. MonsterArts line had a fairly predictable and underwhelming list of releases last year. Great figures for the most part, but obvious choices without much surprise. This being a movie year, I don’t expect much to change and we’ll likely see Godzilla vs. Kong figures soon enough. What is confirmed and releasing in May is their take on the Burning Godzilla design featured in Godzilla: King of the Monsters last year. Originally a Tamashii WebShop exclusive, it’s being released in America by Bluefin around June.

Media company SRS Cinema continues to throw unexpected independent kaiju films our way with releases of Deep Sea Monster Reigo and Deep Sea Monster Raiga last year on limited Blu-Ray and wide-release DVD. They’ll continue the assortment this year with Attack of the Giant Teacher and Raiga vs. Ohga. The films likely won’t be much to look at, but more independent kaiju films seeing a western release is never a bad thing. Here’s hoping Daikaiju Eiga G or Gehara see a release soon.

In an almost perfect repeat of Daiei and Toho’s box office bout sixty years ago, boutique label Arrow Video has reportedly secured the rights to the Gamera franchise and are planning a box set that could rival Criterion’s late 2019 release of the entire Showa Godzilla series. Arrow Video puts out sublime products and kaiju fans will likely want to keep their eyes peeled for this set, even if they’ve already secured Mill Creek’s rather dull bargain sets from years past.

While not on the docket for tie-ins to Godzilla vs. Kong (yet), NECA will likely be continuing to pump out new figures in their Classic Godzilla line. No brand new sculpts are known at the moment, but fans can look forward to a blue, poster-styled repaint of their KOTM Mothra figure and some reissues of their older molds in new box-styled, poster-featuring packaging. Some, like the 1985 Godzilla, might even feature newly molded details.

In rather shocking news, Media Blasters has seemingly propped one of its kaiju films up from the depths of licensing hell with an announcement of a Blu-Ray release of Gappa the Triphibian Monsters scheduled for a February release. The out-of-nowhere circumstances surrounding this release as well as a proclaimed inclusion of an “uncut” Japanese release (despite the International version containing more footage than the Japanese version) and Media Blasters rather spotty history regarding kaiju Blu-Rays should have folks taking this with a grain of salt until the actual discs are in collectors’ hands.

Events

As per usual, the kaiju fan’s Woodstock G-FEST will be continuing it’s annual celebration of all things giant monster from July 10-12 at the Crowne Plaza Chicago O’Hare in Rosemont, IL. No guest announcements at this time, but fans looking to go should register and book a hotel immediately as attendance will continue to spike and rooms in the convention’s hotel are already sold out.

As is tradition, the San Diego Comic Con will take place this summer a week after G-FEST is over and will likely bring with it new information on Godzilla vs. Kong and many other kaiju-related media. NECA will possibly show off new figures and we may even see some post-2020 information on the MonsterVerse.

Not necessarily guaranteed, but kaiju fans may also want to look out for this year’s New York ToyFair taking place in February. ToyFair has pretty much become the SDCC for toy collectors with many companies showing off their new products for the new year. Kaiju collectors will possibly get a glimpse at the Playmates Godzilla vs. Kong assortment as well as a few other possible surprise reveals from other companies like NECA or Diamond Select.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2020 is looking to be a monstrous year for kaiju fans. Hopefully the fandom will enjoy everything to come from our favorite franchises.

Here’s to a happy 2020!

[howdoyousayghibli]

Miyazaki Finally Gives Up the Pretense, Makes Film About Man Who Draws Planes for a Living

“Spoiler culture” gets a lot of hate these days, and I get it. There’s a fine line between “how hard is it to not talk about the plot of a movie you just saw on social media” and “how hard is it to stay off social media for a little bit until you’ve seen the movie.”

I get the annoyance with spoiler culture, but I also remember the circumstances that led to our current situation. I remember the mid-2000s, when trailers had half the movie in them — and if that wasn’t enough, the movie’s official website usually went the rest of the way. I remember poring over detailed rosters of every character set to appear in an upcoming X-Men movie. Even Pixar fell into the over-sharing trap — The Incredibles villain Syndrome, who doesn’t appear until a good chunk of the movie has passed, had a bio on the official website with his “powers” and evil plan right there for 12-year-old Chase to read all about. 

This led to teenage Chase making a conscious decision to not seek out information about movies that he already wanted to see, a policy I still roughly adhere to today. My greatest success was with Ant-Man, which I managed to see in theaters without having seen a single trailer. Usually, though, it means I just stick to teaser trailers. 

This go-in-blind mentality is never easier than when writing these reviews, since there’s not exactly a marketing blitz, past or current, for Hayao Miyazaki’s The Wind Rises. So far, I think my policy of avoiding both trailers and reviews of these movies has served me well, helping me to form my own thoughts without being biased one way or another. Unfortunately, this policy may have done more bad than good with this particular movie.

The Wind Rises was released in 2013, and is (for now) the last film directed by Miyazaki. It’s a dramatized biopic of Jiro Horikoshi, designer of Japan’s infamous “Zero” fighter planes — but you wouldn’t guess that from the movie itself. Not knowing anything of the film going in, I assumed I was watching a historical drama, like From Up on Poppy Hill or Grave of the Fireflies. As such, I was confused at the pace of the movie, which skips freely through large portions of Horikoshi’s life. The rapid and largely unannounced jumps in time and the lack of chyrons made it difficult for me to get a handle on the time period — although I’ll admit it probably wouldn’t be nearly so difficult for someone native to Japan, who could likely guess closely enough from the clothes, architecture, and other context clues. 

Beyond being confused about the setting, though, my lack of foreknowledge of The Wind Rises left me confused about the story the movie was telling. When you know a story is based on true events, it changes how you experience it. Studio Ghibli already departs from traditional Western ideas of storytelling and structure, and when you throw real-world subject matter into the mix, it goes further afield still. 

This is all to say: I think I would’ve enjoyed The Wind Rises more if I’d understood what it was beforehand. It’s a bit like how I kept waiting for the magic to show up in Whisper of the Heart, only it was a bigger, structural issue — something just felt off, until I pulled up the movie’s Wikipedia page after it ended and suddenly things clicked into place. 

Is the movie at fault for not spelling out its premise? Even the trailer doesn’t mention that it’s based on a real person. More than ever, I think that cultural differences may play a role here. I get the feeling that Jiro Horikoshi is relatively well-known in Japan; it would make all the difference watching this movie if you were vaguely aware of Horikoshi’s name and achievements.

As for the movie itself: it’s breathtakingly beautiful. The animation is almost insultingly lavish, like the third dining room on an episode of Cribs. Horikoshi’s glasses distort your view of his face, just like in real life. There’s a close-up involving a moving slide rule that made me gasp with its detail. The Wind Rises portrays Horikoshi as a dreamer, and his dreams constantly leak into the world around him, to wondrous effect.

The audio work is similarly audacious. Horikoshi’s (and Miyazaki’s) infatuation with flying machines breathes life into them, reflected not only in the lively way they’re animated, but also in the choice to use human vocals for the sound effects. The planes literally hum, roar, and gasp — never quite approaching cartoonish personification, but instead letting us see them through the engineer’s eyes. 

Other aspects of The Wind Rises aren’t quite as thrilling. I think there’s something very worthwhile in the film’s message on trying to make something beautiful in a world bent on cruelty, but it’s a bit muddied by a strange insistence that creative people have only 10 years to produce their life’s work. It’s an oddly specific limit, made even odder by Miyazaki’s own prolific career — at the time of this film’s release, his directing career alone stretched over 34 years. This may sound like nitpicking, but the 10 years number basically bookends the film, so I feel justified in calling shenanigans. 

Equally odd is the film’s love story. While beautiful and charming at times, it ends on an strange and unsatisfying note that makes me question the purpose of including it at all; did they simply feel that they couldn’t make a whole movie only about designing planes? If so, they could’ve done more to integrate the two stories, especially since this plot line was already entirely fabricated. 

To end on a positive note: the voice cast for this film is impossibly stacked. You’ve got Horikoshi voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, his work buddy voiced by John Krasinski, his boss voiced by Martin Short, Emily Blunt as his love interest, Mae Whitman as his little sister, Werner Herzog as his random German friend, Stanley Tucci as his Italian dream-friend, Zach Callison as young Horikoshi, and Elijah Wood in a role so small I literally can’t figure out what it was. It should be difficult to pick a favorite among such a lineup — and they all do great work here — but the runaway winner is, of course, Werner Herzog. The raspy voice and dry humor he brings to the sympathetic Castorp are a highlight of an already beautiful movie. 

I fully expect that, when I read other reviews of The Wind Rises, they will have only the highest praise for it. I can see where they’re coming from; this is a movie with breathtaking visuals, an innovative soundscape, a moving message, and talented cast. For me, however, those individual elements aren’t brought together in the service of a compelling story.

Up Next: The Tale of Princess Kaguya! It’s the last film directed by the late Isao Takahata and I’m ready to be emotionally destroyed. It’s also the second-to-last Ghibli movie (as of 2019), which is wild! Will I finish these reviews before the year ends?? The suspense is killing me!

Alternate Titles: The Wind Rises: Because No One Wanted to Put Poppy Hill on Their Best-of-the-Decade Lists

[watanukisglasses]

Hello! I wanted to ask how do you feel about spoilers coming out and people sharing them?

Hi there!

I suppose you’re talking about ccs here. If it’s not that, please let me know.

As many of you might be aware of, CLAMP asked a while ago on their Twitter to their fans not sharing spoilers. Why? Because this affects them and people involved in the production of ccs. Now, how do I feel about it?

I’d lie if I tell you I don’t look at them and wait for the release date, and of course I know this is not correct (yeah, not talking about them or sharing them on social media doesn’t makes me more innocent, I’m very aware). However, there are people who doesn’t likes being spoiled and want to get surprised. They have been waiting for a long time and it’s natural they get annoyed when people shares leaks so carelessly. I cannot tell you to stop looking at them if you don’t mind getting spoiled, but what I can ask you to do is not sharing them or teasing people in groups or tweets or instagram it.

You might say “but, what good can make if the spoilers are out anyway?”

Well, maybe us as fans don’t feel affected in any way (except if you don’t like spoilers like I mentioned above), but there are a lot of people involved in the production of the Nakayoshi magazine and they want people to enjoy as much as possible their experience while reading the new chapter. Also, that the authors themselves asked this as a favor to their fans, I think makes it even more important. They were even that nice to ask if you find those, keep them to yourself, which is very interesting because it’s like they’re not forbidding you to get spoiled, but mind you, this token doesn’t means you can do as you please, remember you can make a difference by not spreading leaks than sharing them everywhere you can.

Also, sharing spoilers usually leads to misinformation. There have been times people freaks out because info hasn’t come out completely, and there’s always a malicious someone who starts making rumors about things not confirmed and then hell burns… so, it’s always better to wait till release day. Sometimes even official accounts validate the info in Nakayoshi mag or if there has been a typo, they clarify the issue so no misunderstandings are left.

I know we all can get hyped and excited, but we can make an effort to keep those spoilers to ourselves without spreading them around in webpages, social media or YouTube (because unfortunately, it has reached those limits). Spoilers usually come out a couple days before the release date, so I think we can wait a bit more. A month passes real quickly, days come and go in a blink. It’s a very simple request I think we can all help with (even avoiding peeking at them!). If we helped the Russo Brothers with Avengers Endgame, I think we can help our favorite mangakas too ;)

Hope this answers your question, lovely anon!

[the-marvel-imagines-blog]

Madness | Chpt. 13

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Once Upon the 40′s”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 6,850

Warnings: ???

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

Summary: Eva recalls her past with Loki and runs into some very familiar faces along the way, faces she’s never been able to forget.

A/N: Like I’ve stated previously, I’m taking a lot of creative liberties with this fic, and I hope you understand. I’m definitely taking more within the following chapters. Thank you all for being so patient. Once again, I’ve heard a lot of really good theories about what might happen next, so I’m definitely excited to hear what you guys think of the story going forward. I’ve poured my heart and soul into this fic, and all I can do is hope that it shows. You’re all so phenomenal. I love all of you so, so, so much. PLEASE NOTE: this will likely be my final time posting an update for this fic before Endgame is released. I have a few other oneshots that I will release throughout the week before Endgame. I know everyone has said it at this point, but PLEASE if you see the movie, do not spoil it for anyone. I heard about the recent leak, and I refuse to scroll through any forms of social media at this point. I got on here just to post, and I’ll be getting right off. If you do have spoilers already, I ask that you please not share them here <3 -Ellie

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny @xletmetaste-yoursmilex @itsknife2meetu @mynameisyara @j-j-ehlby-writes @jillilama-blog (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

“We’re still going dancing after this, right?” I asked, gazing up into his blue eyes that matched the color of the sky. Midgard was beautiful as it was, but he made the world around him that much more beautiful in my eyes. My dress-a material that matched the color of his eyes-swung around my knees as we walked toward the expo that Loki had been speaking of for weeks since our last trip to Midgard. He smiled down at me, his eyes still glistening with a hint of excitement that he always tried to hide whilst in the midst of his father. Odin never treated him fairly and always scrutinized when Loki was happy “for no reason.” He knew that he never had to hide any piece of himself from me, though, and that he need not even try. We had known each other for nearly a thousand years, ever since I could remember, and I knew everything there was to know about the young prince of Asgard.

He snickered, “would it be a trip to Midgard without a little dancing?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at me. Dancing was something we always did when we made any trips to Midgard, regardless of what our trip was for in the first place. Loki was born with a grace and talent for dancing, and it showed in the way he moved. He walked with the same purpose and grace as he did when he danced, and that paled in comparison to the way he held me when we danced. The only thing it could be compared to was the way he held me at night after we spent hours rediscovering one another in the most intimate ways. Those were some of my favorite moments with him, when we were both so vulnerable to each other, but we were comfortable with it because we knew that our insecurities, our fears, our needs would never be exploited by the other. We trusted each other implicitly, and that would never change.

I smirked, remembering the one time that we didn’t go dancing. Loki had been so tired after the full day of mingling and running about the garden with me that we cancelled our plans to be at the wedding and celebrations of Mary, who I had taken a liking to for her fiery attitude, and Francis. Mary was beautiful and gentle, but she was also regal with a sharp-tongue, which was something I admired her for greatly, especially as she grew older. I visited her often with Loki, looking after her as if she were my own. Loki often admired her for being powerful in the face of adversity. People were reluctant to seeing a woman upon the throne, but Loki and I had seen too much to hold prejudice against someone simply because she was a woman. It was a terrible shame when we discovered what happened to her. Still, she had never let us forget that we missed her wedding, often bringing it up lightly to tease Loki and I, “do you remember the 50’s?” I asked, reminding him of a time that didn’t seem that long ago, a time that felt simpler in a way. We could spend hours running through the courtyard of the tudor style home Loki had built for us. It was our place to escape to when we left Asgard.

“Almost 400 years, and you still bring up that one time,” he reminisced, a smile breaking out across his face. I watched the memories dance across his mind, gazing up at him as I longed to revisit our old life. We had always been happy, but the days seemed to move slower then. We could just exist together. He drew himself closer to me, his face growing closer and closer to my ear. I could feel his warm breath cascade across my neck, “perhaps I can make it up to you later tonight?” he whispered, his voice low and smooth as velvet.

“Loki!” I gasped, pushing his chest in a playful manner. He began laughing, and the sound was like music to my ears. There had never been another song more beautiful than the laughter of my love. I stifled my own laughter, not wanting to draw attention from the passersby, but I couldn’t help the smile which tugged at my lips. I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing that he wanted to get that reaction out of me, “you won’t have any of your fun unless you take me dancing. If you back out, you’ll be sleeping on the couch,” I teased him, accepting the challenge to see which one of us would back down first. He rarely brought it up if he wasn’t fairly confident that he would win, but I knew how to beat him, how to make him tick. I loved winning for the simple fact that I loved watching Loki blush.

“I know what to do to get you to sleep on that couch with me, darling. I know how to make you quiver,” he murmured, his voice resembling a growl, causing my most primal urges to bubble up to the surface. I gripped his arm tighter as we continued to walk. He traced a slender finger of his free hand along the skin of mine, and I shivered beneath his touch. I found his eyes once more to see that he looked hungry, as if he were eyeing his prey, “you should enjoy that pretty blue dress because I’m going to have fun tearing it off of you later,” he remarked as a mischievous grin tugged at his lips.

“Watch what happens to you if you tear my dress,” I challenged him, cocking my eyebrow at him.

“You should watch your tongue, my love,” he chuckled, thinking that he won the unspoken challenge, that I had somehow run out of ways to make him blush.

I didn’t.

Without missing a beat, I veered off into an alleyway that left us barely visible to the passersby. No one would take notice of the two of us, especially since we knew how to blend in with the general public for the time period we found ourselves in when we travelled to Midgard. I pressed Loki against the stone wall, taking care not to hurt him as I held him against the cool surface. I leaned in close to him, allowing him to shiver with anticipation. I brought our faces as close together as they could be without partaking in a kiss that would relieve so much of the tension we were both feeling. I leaned into his ear, my breath hitting his neck. I grew close enough so that my lips brushed ever so lightly against his ear, and I felt him tremble beneath me, “you want me to watch my tongue? Make me,” I whispered before removing myself completely from his space just in time to see the color rise to his cheeks.

I won.

The moment he lunged for me, ready to admit defeat and ravage me with kisses, I pulled away from him and walked back out toward the street. That was part of the fun. We knew each other well enough to know what made the other tick. I knew how to get under his skin, and he knew how to get under mine. I knew that not allowing him to kiss me was my way of building up that tension. The lust within him would continue burning until we were alone that night, until I was able to lose myself in him and him in me. Before I could walk along the sidewalk alone, he resumed his place by my side, and I looped my arm through his once he offered it to me. We walked along, falling in perfect stride with one another, as if nothing had happened, but we would remember it later. The tension never died, but it just became like a smoldering fire, which would continue to burn until we extinguished it.

As we walked, we passed by a man and woman, and I noticed the rings on their fingers, symbolizing their eternal love, which was something Loki and I had talked about from time to time. The woman was pushing a baby carriage, and within it, there was a baby who looked no older than 3 months. He was dressed in a little blue outfit that matched his blue eyes. His hair was light, and his skin was fair, much like Thor’s. I smiled into the carriage, feeling my heart flip within my chest as my sudden urges came to light once more. I could feel Loki tense up next to me, and I knew why. It was something we had only talked about briefly, but I knew he wanted that life just as much as I did. His grip on me tightened, and I could feel his eyes lingering on me, so I turned my gaze up to meet his. He smiled down at me so sweetly, just like he used to when we first fell in love. The thoughts crossed his mind, and he didn’t even need to say a single word because I could always read him like an open book, “You know what my answer would be,” I stated, grasping his arm with my free hand. We had already been in the stage of our relationship where we wanted to get married, but we were also coming to the stage where we were both thinking about what would come next: a family.

He sighed, gazing once more at the baby in the carriage before gazing back down at me, “father has always treated me poorly, and he’s never been particularly kind to you. I can’t imagine what he would think of our…” he trailed off, his eyes beginning to water as soon as he even thought of the word. It was a difficult thing for either of us to think about. I was abandoned by my parents, and Odin never treated Loki as one of his own from the very beginning.

“Children, Loki,” I finished for him, giving his arm a gentle squeeze to regain his attention. Once his mind wandered, so did his eyes. Once our eyes locked, I knew that he was focused on me, “they would be our children and ours alone,” I reminded him, wanting him to understand what I had already accepted. I didn’t have to follow in my mother’s footsteps, and I wouldn’t. I would love my children endlessly, and I would never abandon them, not like my parents did to me. Loki’s fears and insecurities were justified because he was terrified of being the father to our children that his father was to him. As upsetting as it was to think that he was self-conscious about failing our future children, I always silenced his doubts about everything as soon as they arose, “you would be the most incredible father, in spite of how you were treated by your own father.”

Once I said my piece, he fell absolutely silent. I gazed up at him, trying desperately to decipher him. There were moments when he was an open book to me, but there were others where he was like a puzzle with dozens of pieces missing, and I became more and more stressed because I couldn’t figure it out. There was the alternative method of reading his mind, his thoughts, but that was something I saved for only the most dire circumstances. He was my lover, my soulmate, my best friend, not my experiment. I couldn’t just pull apart his mind whenever I felt like it to get answers to a question I didn’t want to bother him with. It was my job to read him as any woman would read her love, the way I had read Loki all along. When our eyes met, I knew exactly what he was thinking, as if it were painted across his blue eyes. He was picturing them. A wide smile spread across my face, “the first one would be a little girl, a little princess. I imagine her with your hair, wild and unruly and black as a shadow at night,” I murmured, my eyes flickering between his.

He snickered, “my hair is not unruly!” he defended himself, acting as if he had been terribly offended at my comments about his wild and unruly hair, which it was.

I cocked an eyebrow, ready to challenge him, “have I simply imagined the times when you struggle to brush it out and keep it in place in the morning?” I asked, a sly grin taking over the smile on my lips, “have I imagined the dozens of times when you beg me to brush it because only I can undo the tangled mess that you manage to get it into throughout the night? You always go to sleep with perfect, silky, beautiful hair-and I know because I brush it and look after it-but you wake up the next morning as if you fought four wars all on your own in the middle of the night,” I teased him, grinning up at the man who owned every piece of my heart. We hadn’t lost that spark between us. Sure, we argued with each other and had our fair share of disagreements, but we had been together for hundreds of years, so we knew how to make it work through all of that. Still, no matter what, I always looked at him as the boy I fell in love with. I still got butterflies when I talked to him. I still blushed when he paid me a compliment or looked at me for a prolonged period of time. I still giggled when he called me beautiful.

“That’s only because of you!” he argued, raising his voice only slightly. He wouldn’t yell at me, but he was clearly trying to defend his wild and messy hair. Whenever I closed my eyes and imagined our future children, though, they always had his hair. My hair was dark, but his was exceptionally dark. His hair was darker than the forest on a dark night when the stars didn’t even shine through the trees. The darkness would envelope me, and I wouldn’t be able to see my hands had they been directly in front of my face. Each of our future children, as I saw them, had his wild hair. It would fall in curls, and they would all wear it the way he did: long. His light chuckle pulled me from my daydream, “you keep me up far too late, or have I simply imagined the times I’ve nearly fallen asleep at the breakfast table with my mother?”

My mouth hung agape as I recalled one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, “that-!” I stammered, trying to find a way to defend myself. It was true that it was my doing which left him embarrassed at the breakfast table with Frigga, and it was the moment she understood how deep our relationship was, how serious we were about each other, “that happened one time, and it was only because you wouldn’t stop looking at me the way you are right now!” I blamed him with a smirk as our eyes met once more. Mine danced along his face before I lost myself in the oceans of blue that pooled up against the dark pupils of his eyes, like land masses that felt like home.

His eyes flickered between mine, and his smile fell. The solemnity that overcame his feature worried me for a moment as I wondered if I had gone too far; however, when I saw the tears well up in his eyes, I knew that he was thinking about them. He thought about them just as often as I did, even though he didn’t like to admit it, “they would have your eyes,” he murmured, pulling me closer to him, “a green that matched the colors of spring when the land is reborn after the cold winter, a green that feels like the warm breeze in the middle of the forest when it ripples through the leaves, a green that feels like home. They would wear that same look in their eyes, too. They would have that determination and ferocity but also the love and appreciation of life and all living things. They would have your nose, your cheekbones...your laugh because Gods know there is nothing sweeter or more poetic and beautiful than the sound of your laugh,” he said, tearing up at the thought of our future children. I knew, without the shadow of a doubt, that he would be the best father to our children, and I knew because he loved them already, just like I did.

I stopped completely, not wanting him to focus on anything but me. I reached up and grasped his chin in my hand before turning his head until our eyes met, “I have told you for hundreds of years that all you have to do is ask me, and I’ll be yours for the rest of eternity, Loki,” I reminded him, knowing that all he would have to do is ask for my hand, and I would accept his offer in a heartbeat. He didn’t have to write a speech or plan an elaborate proposal because he was the only thing that mattered.

“I’m just worried that I could never be able to offer you all that you want in life,” he murmured, his eyes acting as windows into his very soul. I knew that he always felt unworthy of me, of the love I gave to him, like he didn’t deserve me. It was the same way I felt at certain times in our relationship, when I wondered why someone who could have anyone or anything he wanted would choose me. He always silenced those doubts, and I did the same with him.

I shook my head, “all I want is you,” I insisted once more, grasping his hand in my own as I gazed up into those uncertain blue eyes, “I want to marry you and start a family. I want to see you with our baby, to watch you hold him or her, to watch you fall in love with the way they laugh, the way they dance, the way they look at you. I want to raise children with you, however many we decide. I want to get up early in the morning and rock our baby to sleep and be reminded that they are the product of the two of us, that we created something that was bigger than ourselves, that our love created life,” I reminded him, my eyes stinging with the hot tears as I thought of a life we had yet to begin. I watched as his eyes brimmed with tears, and I gave his hand a gentle squeeze “we’ve been together for hundreds of years, and you have given me all that I could ever want and all I could ever need, but that is the one thing that’s missing. I want that life with you and no one else,” I finished, stepping closer to him.

“That’s what you want?” he asked, his focus becoming firm, and I knew that he would be focusing on picking out any hints that I was being dishonest, as if I would even try to with him after so long together.

I nodded, “it’s what I’ve always wanted.”

He nodded once, continuing to gaze down at me. Upon seeing that I wasn’t trying to mislead him, his gaze lightened, and he gathered me in his arms in one swift motion. I gasped at the sudden and unexpected action, but before I could speak, his lips crushed mine, silencing whatever words I was about to utter. He kept my body pressed to his firmly but not aggressively. His hold on me was all encompassing as his right arm snaked around my waist, arching my body into his. The fingers of his left hand caressed my cheek and jaw, holding me steady as we kissed. The moment he pulled his lips from mine, it was as if my very breath left with him. Luckily, he didn’t let go of me, or I was sure I would have fallen to the ground. He pulled his head back only slightly to take in my reaction to what just happened, but I had no words, no emotion to give. He took my breath away with that kiss, and it felt like we were at the very beginning of our courtship once more, like we were still naive lovers who saw nothing but one another.

Without warning, he began laughing lightly at what had just transpired. Had we put our love on full display in the streets of Asgard, Odin would have forced the two of us away from each other. It would have been improper for him and unladylike for me. However, on Midgard, people seemed to pass by without taking much notice. Of course, I could still feel eyes on us because it was still a rarity, but we would not be punished for a kiss. I saw, once more, the boy I fell in love with, my Loki. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t able to contain my laughter once he began laughing. Rolling my eyes, I turned on my heel and pulled him along, “come on, love. We don’t want to miss the expo. It’s the whole reason we came here,” I reminded him as we walked toward the crowds of people.

Upon reaching the large groups of people, we began making our way to the front of the stage in the pavillion where we saw the most commotion. Everyone was talking, and the buzzing of life around me left me with a euphoric feeling in my chest. Warmth spread from the depths of my chest all throughout my body, leaving me gasping for the sweet air to fill my needy lungs. I loved the sensation of life, the vibrations of the energy around me. Loki’s hand found mine, and he intertwined our finger, his fear of large groups becoming more and more clear. Whenever he needed to find his footing once more, he reached out to me, and I was always there. His grip on my hand tightened whenever the noise in the pavillion increased, and I accommodated it by pulling the two of us closer together. I knew where his fear and anxiety stemmed from, and I would always comfort him when that was what he needed.

Once we reached the front of the stage, we watched as young women in matching outfits lined up in front of a car. Shortly after Loki and I took our place, another man with two young women at his side broke through the crowd and stood beside Loki and I. The man in the group was tall and built like a warrior. I took note of the uniform that seemed to hang from his broad shoulders and knew that he was one of Midgard’s soldiers. He smiled up at the stage as the two girls beside him began conversing amongst themselves in their excitement for what was to unfold. Trailing behind them was a smaller man, but I could feel the vibrations within me begin to grow stronger and stronger the closer he grew to me, and I just knew there was something about him, something I couldn’t place my finger on. Our souls were connected somehow, similarly to how mine was connected to the souls of Loki, Ephinea, Hjalmar, and my father. I didn’t even know his name, but I knew his soul.

The taller of the two men glanced over at me, a playfulness in his eyes that matched Loki’s, and I knew that it was a light the world so desperately needed. He smiled down at me, though I was only slightly shorter than him, “good evening, ma’am,” he greeted me with a tip of his hat before turning his attention to Loki and doing the same, “sir,” he greeted politely, causing the God of Mischief to bow his head in a friendly greeting.

I stepped closer to the young man, breaking away from Loki’s side and feeling a chill run through my body at the sudden lack of warmth he brought me, “you can call me Eva, and this is Loki. He’s not much of a talker until you mention literature,” I laughed, gesturing over to Loki before offering my hand.

The soldier took it and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of my hand. I knew it was what was considered respectful and courteous at the time. Loki still did it to me when we were in the company of others. The soldier lifted his head and released my hand, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Eva,” he stated before turning his attention over to Loki once more and sticking out his hand for him to take, “Loki...that’s not a common name,” he noted, trying out the name on his tongue.

Loki chuckled, “I’m not a common man,” he replied as he took the soldier’s hand and shook it.

“The name’s James, but most people just call me Bucky,” the soldier finally introduced himself before turning to the shorter man beside him, “and this is Steve, he’s like my unruly, rebellious sidekick who likes to look for trouble,” he teased his friend with a wide smile.

I smiled and stepped closer to the newly introduced stranger, “it’s nice to meet you, Steve,” I replied, reaching my hand out. Instead of taking it and kissing it, he just gave it a quick shake, and I could tell that he was nervous about the sudden introductions. The moment our hands touched, an electric current surged through my body, as if a piece of his very essence was transferred to me and a piece of mine was transferred to him. It was a strange occurrence, an event that had only happened a small handful of times in the past, but it always forged a powerful connection to the person it happened with. The energy surged through me as I felt his essence intertwine with mine, pieces of our souls coming together to form one. I wondered, for a moment, if he felt the same thing or something similar, and the sudden wonder in his eyes told me that he had experienced it as well.

He tried to shake off the awkward silence between us, his cheeks becoming flushed, “So, where are you two from? Your accents sound...foreign,” he asked, trying to propel the conversation forward after a powerful experience we both shared.

“Smooth,” Bucky teased him as he gazed up at the stage that was continuing to be prepared.

I smiled, “it’s alright. We’re from Westminster in England,” I lied, recalling a place Loki and I had visited dozens of times in the past. It’s not like I could tell him the truth, that Loki and I were from a completely different realm altogether, that there was life beyond Midgard. They would discover our existence at some point during the course of humanity, but it didn’t need to be today, “what about you? Where are you from?”

“Brooklyn,” he answered with a kind smile. It was clear that not many people gave him the time of day, but I wanted to. I wanted to learn everything about him because I was certain he would play a large part in my life. He gestured between Loki and I, “and you two are...married?” he asked, and I could sense the boyish bashfulness rising within him.

Bucky snickered, “wow, how subtle,” he teased Steve again.

“Not yet,” Loki answered before I had the chance to speak.

I furrowed my eyebrows at his confession, taken aback by his answer. Steve and Bucky raised their eyebrows as well, but I knew that their surprise came from the forwardness of it. They didn’t know Loki like I did. I knew that he was rather bold, but I just never expected that answer because I didn’t know if he truly wanted to marry me the same way I did him. We had been together for hundreds of years, the better part of a millenia, and he still hadn’t asked me to marry him. I cocked an eyebrow, “should I be expecting a question soon, or will I be waiting another thousand years?” I asked, teasing him about how long it had already taken him.

Bucky and Steve both laughed in unison, thinking that I was exaggerating the length of time I had been waiting. It was only slightly exaggerated, since our thousand year milestone wouldn’t happen for another 67 years. Loki’s grin at me caused my heart to flutter as I thought of how and when he would do it. After a short amount of banter between the four of us, Loki and Bucky began having their own conversation, leaving Steve and I with a comfortable silence that fell between the two of us. As we gazed up at the stage together in anticipation for the upcoming show that was sure to be put on, I could feel his eyes on me. Loki made a habit of doing the same thing early in our childhood, before he even began courting me, but it remained something he did even after so long together. He would always watch me. It was never in a way that made me uncomfortable, but it was the same reason I watched him, to memorize every little piece of him, how the rays of the sun sat so delicately upon his eyelashes, how his slender fingers would swim through his raven black hair when he pushed it back into place, how every smile started at one corner of his mouth, how the tears rimmed his perfect blue eyes whenever he read something I wrote for him, or how his eyebrows pulled together in fascination whenever he looked at me. I committed every piece of him to memory just in case there was a day when he wasn’t mine, when his body returned home. Though I wished for us to meet our end together, I knew that one of us would outlive the other, and my selfish dream was that he would be the one to do so. I couldn’t bear a life without him, so even if he went before me, I wouldn’t be far behind.

As I felt Steve’s eyes on me, I also felt the familiar warmth of Loki’s gaze as well. His conversation with Bucky had become a conversation about me, and my suspicions were confirmed when I felt the unfamiliar eyes of the soldier on me again. I glanced over at Steve in an attempt to keep myself from blushing at the attention that I was getting. As soon as I turned my head to interact with Steve, our eyes connected, and a blush rose to his cheeks almost immediately. It was exactly what happened when Loki and I first began our relationship. He would be caught in the act of studying me, and his cheeks would flush with color in his bashfulness. It became less of an occurrence the longer we were together, but there were times when it presented itself once more. Steve glanced down at the ground, trying to seem like he wasn’t watching me only seconds prior. I smiled to myself, thinking about how endearing it was, but what he did next was even more shocking and endearing. He extended his hand with the paper bag filled with popcorn in an attempt to offer some to me.

That was the moment I knew.

That was the single moment I figured out exactly who Steve was, almost as if I could see straight into his very soul. It was one of the purest, most beautiful things I had ever seen in all my life. The innocence and innate goodness he had within him made me want to cry. There were only a handful of moments in my life that left me so emotionally overwhelmed, whether by the sheer beauty I witnessed or sorrow I felt, that left me unable to contain my tears. That was one of those moments. It felt like Steve and I were just made to find our way to one another, like we were created for the soul purpose to run into each other at some point, but the reason was unclear. With Loki, our bond with each other was clear, but with Steve, I didn’t understand it. Why us? Why him? As I tried to sort through it, he maintained his outstretched hand. I gave a polite nod and collected a few of the pieces of popcorn, maintaining eye contact with him and trying to suppress the smile that only continued to grow on my face.

Knowing that the only way to silence the parade of questions through my mind was to talk to him, I ate the popcorn in my hand and spoke, “what are you doing out here on a night like tonight? What brings you to the expo?” I asked, looking for any way to stop falling into a platonic type of love with him. It was the strangest, most unexpected feeling, but I could feel the love within me growing for him with every passing second. It was as if my soul recognized his, and I couldn’t help it.

He shrugged his shoulders, “well, it’s Bucky’s last night as a free man before he ships out. You know, he’s my best friend in the world, so when he wanted me to come out, how could I say no?” he asked, trying to minimize his act of kindness toward his friend. He forced himself to be uncomfortable just to make his friend happy. That was love, pure and untainted love. I smiled as he continued, “it’s not really my cup of tea, though. I’m not really into crowds, but I know it’ll make Bucky happy.”

Nodding my head, I reached out and grasped his arm, “everyone needs someone like that in their lives. He’s lucky to have you.”

He shook his head, not fully convinced by my words, “I think it’s the other way around. I’d be nowhere without Bucky. He’s the only family I have left after my mom died. He’s like a brother to me. I owe him everything. The least I could do was come out with him tonight,” he spoke, his voice soft and full of sincerity. Suddenly, a wide smile formed on his lips and he cast his gaze to the ground once more as a blush overcame his cheeks, “I mean, I got to meet you out of the deal, so it wasn’t all bad,” he complimented me with a quivering voice before trying to laugh off his clear embarrassment. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I realized just how genuine the compliment was, and I couldn’t help but step closer to him. It wasn’t a romantic gesture, and I didn’t take his compliment as a flirtatious one; all I wanted was to feel closer to the warmth his very essence provided. He was like the light of the sun-all encompassing, bright, and warm.

Before I could respond to Steve’s remark, the voice of a female announcer silenced the crowd, “ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!” she announced, her voice leaving the audience even more lively than before. As the crowd began to cheer and applaud, the man who I presumed to be Howard Stark, the man of the hour, sauntered onto the stage wearing a tuxedo, a top hat, and a grin. The women on the stage all presented him, holding their arms out as he passed by them. One of the brunette girls stepped out of line to take his hat and trade off the microphone she had in her hand. As he took it, he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and pulled her close before pressing his lips to hers in a quick, suggestive kiss. Once he wiped the lipstick from his lips, he spoke into the microphone, his voice echoing throughout the calming crowd, “ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years, your automobile won’t even have to touch the ground at all?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

The two girls Bucky and Steve arrived with were two of the many people in the audience who covered their mouths and gasped. Loki and I shot a knowing glance at one another that this was no new technology to us, as Asgardians had perfected similar technology so long ago. However, it was a remarkable achievement for Midgardians to be making. I turned my gaze back at Howard Stark as the women who once stood in front of the car pulled the wheels off of it and walked away with them. He glanced out at the audience, holding the microphone up to his lips, “with Stark gravitic reversion technology, you’ll be able to do just that,” he promised before stepping aside and allowing everyone in the audience a clear view of the spectacle that was about to take place. With the flip of a switch and the press of a button, the car began hovering above the stage with a gentle hum. I glanced around at the small group I was with to see that everyone wore looks of pure astonishment at the idea of flying cars. No matter how advanced our technology was, Loki was still impressed by the humans, just as I was. They showed great promise, and that was one of the many reasons why we swore to protect them.

Howard’s eyes scanned the crowd as he looked truly proud of what he had accomplished. I watched him intently as everyone else watched the car. All I could do was study how his pride grew more and more as he witnessed what kind of reactions he could elicit with his own genius. Suddenly, without warning, his eyes connected with mind, and his scanning of the audience stopped as those brown orbs focused on me. They felt familiar, like we had met before, like I knew him from another lifetime. I sensed something within these humans that felt surreal, like I could have been dreaming it. I had such an intense connection already to Steve, and I knew Bucky on a level that should have been impossible, given that we had only spoken a handful of words to one another. Then, there was Howard. All we shared was a prolonged moment of eye contact, but something within me came to life in that moment, and I knew that this would be the beginning of something. What that something was, though, I had no clue. All I knew was that Howard and I-like Steve and I, or like Bucky and I-would be bound by a silken cord that was strong as a chain of steel that would never break.

The one thing that pulled our gaze from each other was the sudden crash that came from behind him, and my eyes found the car now on the floor where it had once been hovering over. The crowd gasped but slowly started to clap, and I did the same. It was a true accomplishment, regardless of how long the car managed to hover. He was the first Midgardian to discover that technology, and while there was no way he would be the last to tamper with it, he made waves on that night. He chuckled into the microphone, laughing off his “failure” before speaking, “I did say a few years, didn’t I?” he asked, his eyes flickering to mine again before winking at me.

As the expo continued, Howard showed off more impressive technology that he was working on, but nothing was more impressive than his persistence, considering he didn’t even know who I was. Every chance he got, it seemed like he caught my gaze, and the playfulness would sneak into his brown orbs. I could sense a childlike wonder about him, something I hadn’t experienced much, especially not with the Midgardians. However, Howard seemed to exude those playful, childlike qualities just as much as his confidence and self-assured attitude. Once Howard’s portion of the expo was finished and the crowd applauded him, I felt the sudden absence of Steve’s warmth as he broke away from the group without a word. I wondered to myself if something had happened that upset him, or if he just needed to be alone. Bucky smiled to himself, “hey, Steve, what do you say we treat these girls to…” his voice trailed off as he turned around to see that Steve was no longer present. He sighed to himself, and I could sense his distress. I knew that he only wanted a night with his friend, especially considering the hell he was about to walk into.

Then, there were screams.

[letsbfrank4]

Book Review: YOU

Rating: ☕☕☕☕☕

Title: YOU Author: Caroline Kepnes Publisher: Emily Bestler Books / ATRIA Genres: Fiction, Thriller Pages: 424 Format: Paperback

“If we were teenagers, I could kiss you. But I’m on a platform behind a counter wearing a name tag and we’re too old to be young. Night moves don’t work in the morning, and light pours in through the windows.”

“He won’t listen or learn or bend and I’m losing patience with him, with life, with humans.”

“…I am going to have to choose between you and the pieces of you currently stored in a box…”

“…I killed for you. I deserve you.”

   When I was watching the show YOU on Netflix I couldn’t help but feel that the script sounded just like a book. After searching on Google, sure enough, I found that it was a book. Since I enjoyed watching the show I had to see how the book would compare. I was not let down. The book is much more dark and sinister than the show which made for such a great read. I can’t remember the last time I read through a book this quickly. Warnings before reading this book includes: sexually explicit content and language, drug use, violence/abuse. SPOILERS are included in this review. Skip to the last paragraph for my rating and conclusion.     In today’s day and age social media is everywhere. We’ve all been told to be careful of what we put on the internet because we don’t know who may be reading it. Not to mention we have all had that moment of weakness when we did a little too much “research” on a person whether it be a friend, ex, or even a celebrity. This book does a great job showing how dark the web can get and a lot of the fear factor that comes from this book stems from how realistic this situation can be.     Kepnes’s style of writing was magnetic, borderline stream of consciousness. The reader felt like they were inside Joe’s head, watching life happen through his eyes. In the beginning of the book the reader can validate and relate to what Joe is doing, little things like noticing a name on a credit card, what she likes to read, seeing her on Facebook, etc. However, as the book progresses it gets harder and harder for the reader to validate what Joe is doing. Going through that transition is scary because it is easy to see how blurred the lines can get (especially if you don’t know where they stop). I know I was trying to figure out when I went from rooting for Joe to screaming for Beck to run.     The conclusion did a wonderful job of tying up the loose ends, for now. It was a great way to get Joe off the hook and out of the threatening zone of getting caught. The very last paragraph was terrifyingly cold. Joe replaces Beck so easily. Beck becomes just another Candace.     The reader becomes so close to Joe throughout the book. It was incredible to watch as the reader and Joe start to form a dialogue of their own. All the inside jokes: minutes to hours to days (time telling), such small hands, secret knowledge of the green pillow, etc. Then to see Joe doing the exact same thing with Beck and watching how they create their own language: different/hot, engine engine number 9, everythingship, solipsistic, etc; the shared content in brilliant.     When it came to Beck’s character I wasn’t very happy with the way she was portrayed. I’m not sure whether it was Joe getting to my head but the book made it seem like Beck was asking for all this attention, if you play with fire don’t be upset if you get burned. I would have liked it more if Beck was painted in a more innocent victim type light. Throw some curtains in her apartment, they could have been in need of repair from falling off the wall or something along those lines. Make her more of a girl next door and not have men thinking she is sex on a stick. I didn’t like how Beck did all these careless type things and then that justifies all this drama leaking into her life.     A lot of this book was based off situations that are fairly realistic but I thought that Beck’s phone not being deactivated wasn’t realistic at all. Even if someone else is paying the bill any normal person would have to phone turned off. Why? Because your information is in it!     I would have liked more information on Candace. Was she his first normal relationship? His only? Or was she his first victim? What was she like in comparison to Beck? Does Joe have a type or can any girl fall victim to his obsessions? So many questions.     Now that I have a majority of the basic review out of the way I do have some topics that I would like to talk about, some notes and other things that I noticed while reading.     First, when it comes to the murders there is a lot of commonalities between the way the murders are written and Joe’s feelings towards the victim. Joe’s first kill in the story is Benji. Joe couldn’t care less about Benji and his killing showed that. Joe just hoped that Benji was telling the truth about his allergies. There aren’t really any details as to how Benji dies and his body is gotten rid of in a way where no one will ever find him, erased from everyone’s lives because he is that unimportant. Peach’s death included a failed attempt and a very physical altercation and struggle. Joe was constantly battling Peach for Beck and Peach’s death emphasizes how much Joe was trying to snuff her out. However, just like how Peach kept upping one up on Joe, her body resurfaces despite how hard Joe tried to keep it sunk. Moving on to Candace, the reader doesn’t know much about her death. Like Candace’s story her death is short and passionate. We know Joe loved her and was betrayed by her. Candace’s death was a crime of passion and Joe just wanted to drown out the fact that she was leaving him. Dr. Nicky, while not a death, was an attempt. Joe did a lot of research on Dr. Nicky. Joe wasn’t 100 percent sure that he was sleeping with Beck when he wanted to get rid of him. Hence, Joe didn’t go through with the killing 100 percent. Right when Joe was about the strike he ends up backing off because of Beck’s call. Finally, it comes to Beck’s death. Beck’s death is very prolonged, Joe struggles with her, thinks she is dead, gets upset, Beck is alive, struggles again, Beck hurt Joe, Joe actually kills Beck and feels glad but then upset again. Just like their relationship it is not only passionate and complicated but ultimately deadly. Joe struggles with his emotions when getting rid of her body, he loves her but can’t keep her. The epic story comes to a tragic end. All these deaths are reflective of each individual person.     Next, Peach’s character is interesting and adds a plot twist to this already creepy story. When we first meet Peach she seems like an obstacle, in the way of Joe getting the girl. The reader starts to root for Joe to get past this girl Peach but then they wonder if Peach is just doing her job, being the protective friend that she is (keeping her best friend safe from strange stalker guys). Then the plot twist happens and it turns out Peach is just as creepy and just as big of a stalker as Joe. Then it becomes a battle of the stalkers. This goes to show the reader that there can be more than just one threat out there.    The last parallel that I want to make is when Joe seems to compare Beck with books. Joe goes through a big speech about how books can suck you in, make you leave everything behind, fall in love, become enraptured by them, and then they disappear. Later on in the book Joe describes Beck’s death in this way. He talks about how she is flawed just like the books in his store and how she has ended and left him, he even shoves pages of a book in her mouth while she is dying. Then the book ends with Joe moving on to a different “book” and starting the whole pattern up again.     I know that this review is a little on the longer side but there was so much to be said for this book. I cannot give this book a 5 out of 5 All Nighter Worthy rating enough. I could not put this book down. If you want a page turner and nail biter this is a good choice. Would I recommend this book? Yes, I was already recommending this book before I even finished it. YOU has definitely made it to the top end of my favorites list. Naturally, the show on Netflix is good too, so be sure to check that out as well. I’m already on the hunt for Kepnes’s next book Hidden Bodies.

Summary: When a beautiful, aspiring writer strides into the East Village bookstore where Joe Goldberg works, he does what anyone would do: he googles the name on her credit care. There is only one Guinevere Beck in New York City. She has a public Facebook account and tweets incessantly, telling Joe everything he needs to know: she is simply Beck to her friends, she went to Brown University, she lives on Bank Street, and she’ee be at a bar in Brooklyn tonight- the perfect place for a “chance” meeting. As Joe invisibly and obsessively takes control of Beck’s life, he begins quietly removing the obstacles that stand in their way. Joe will do anything to ensure Beck finds herself in his waiting arms- even if it means murder.

[kennyp757]

A Break....

Social media. It’s something a good amount of us use every single day. We check it first thing in the morning, in the middle of the day, during our lunch breaks, in the gym, in the Uber/Lyft, etc. You name it, you’ve probably used it in that time and place. Possibly multiple times within at least five minutes.

I myself am one of those people who tends to frequently check their social media. I always have this need to be the first in the know. Whether it’s about a player signing a new record breaking contract or if it’s a new detail about something popular that’s out, I constantly feel like I have to know. I have to know about what a particular person is doing or talking about, I have to see if somebody posted a new picture, I have to see what wacky post somebody put up, etc etc etc. That’s my social media usage in a nutshell

About two weeks, while the anticipation was building up for the blockbuster movie Avengers: Endgame (I demand that you go see it in theaters), footage from the actual movie started to leak all over social media. As a fan of the Avengers, I wanted to see this movie fresh. I didn’t want to walk into the movie theater knowing that a certain something was going to happen. So I did something that I did last year when Avengers: Infinity War released on opening night. I called it “Zero Dark Endgame”. It was basically me deleting every single social media app on my phone. I didn’t even log into social media on my MacBook. I wanted to avoid spoilers as much as possible.

During those two weeks, I noticed a few things about myself but it’s really two things that really stood out to me. One, it felt like I was living in the moment more. Before, I would be sitting in my room watching movies, live games, tv shows, etc. and I would miss something because I would most likely pickup my phone and tweet about it instead of just flat out enjoying it. That wasn’t the case this time. I was literally sitting there like “Wow, I didn’t know this character was this” or “He did a lot of work just to shoot that shot”. Second, my mind seemed clearer. Before going dark on social media, my mind would feel cluttered and I wouldn’t be able to focus. I would know that I have a task to do, start that task, and then take a social media break that would take forever to end. Either that or I would take multiple social media breaks and never get my work done. During this break, things started to seem more clear. My focus seemed to have improved significantly and I was able to get so many things done. It actually felt pretty amazing.

When I ended my social media break, I downloaded all of my apps at once and it felt like my mind was immediately cluttered. It was right when the credits were rolling for Avengers: Endgame. Right then and there I had realized what I was going away from. In my head, I asked myself “Is it really this serious? Do I really have to tell everyone that I’m back on social media after seeing Endgame? Do I really have to do all this extra stuff?”. The answer was no but I did it anyway.

As I sit here and type this, I’m thinking of ways to limit my social media usage and just live more. The people don’t need to know everything that you’re doing (hopefully you’re not sharing too much information). Social media can be a good tool if used in moderation, but like they always say, too much of anything could be a bad thing. I know we all love social media but do yourself a favor: Put your phone down, close that MacBook/laptop, and live more. Enjoy what life has to offer without the need to tell everyone what you’re enjoying. I guarantee you that you’ll be more appreciative of it.

[supermoviemaniac]

HOW TO AVOID INFINITY WAR SPOILERS: Avengers Infinity War is around the corner, and before you know it, everyone will be going to see it on day of release, spewing their thoughts and views all over the internet with little regard to those that were not fortunate enough to see it right away for whatever reason. Even so, the red carpet premiere is a few days before, and there's opportunities for things to leak out from that... so in a way, no one is safe, regardless of when you're planning on watching it! I've decided to make a list of "How To's" below for those with little willpower, or for those that simply can't even scroll through an app without seeing something new about the movie. The world is a dangerous place... but the internet is far worse! I hope this 'guide' (for lack of a better word) helps... 1. Minimise your social media intake and output: Seems obvious right? Just get the hell off the internet! Easier said than done... besides, you should be entitled to scroll through your apps if you want to! Unfortunately though, Marvel promote their movies on every social media app there is - Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter to name a few. Not only that, but if you search certain hashtags regarding the movie, you're bound to see the latest news and spoilers. If you're following nerd pages (like this one), there's a chance that they'll be posting spoilers on there for that "fresh scoop" content... and yes, most will warn you with a spoiler alert, but what's the say your will is strong enough to overpower your intrigue? If spoilers are there, your fingers and thumbs are itching to see them. Other than that, comment sections are a mine field during this time. You could be passively reading what other people have to say on a particular post, then boom, they've spoilt something! Whether they did it carelessly or they intentionally trolled, the spoiler is there, you've read it, and now you can't delete it from your brain! (I do not recommend self-induced amnesia). So, to avoid these things, 'mute' what movie pages you have at your disposal either now or closer to the time, and only check the comment sections on posts/videos if they're completley unrelated to Marvel and Infinity War (though sometimes trolls dump spoilers in random places, so be very aware). 2. Stop watching all the unnecessary footage: If you haven't noticed already, Marvel like to post at least a trillion different 'TV Spots' (quick, mini trailers) and clips a day leading up to the movie's release. Though the new footage they show doesn't tend to be spoilery, one may think that they'd be better off seeing said shots and snippets in its entirety, when you go to see the movie for the first time. Yes, it is a long film... and we've probably only seen 0.3% of it via trailers and TV spots, but it adds up, and over time, it diminishes the value of the full movie. Be patient! The two main trailers are enough hype, you don't need anymore, you're being greedy! Trust me, it'll be worth it. If you see one autoplaying as you're scrolling, keep going! Think ahead to your amazing cinematic experience and how satisfied you'll feel, knowing you didn't give in! Again, if you do happen to cave (shameful behaviour!), steer clear of the comments section; keen eyes may have noticed spoilery content within the footage that you hadn't picked up on yourself. 3. Go to 'Super Shutdown Mode' closer to the date: This is it! Battlestations! The movie is in a couple days and heavy spoilers could be lurking in every direction! Early screenings have been and gone, so there's a hefty handful of people that will have seen it with loose lips. What do you do?! Easy: Get off social media, period. Okay, I'm being dramatic, but seriously, if you really want to stop your movie-going experience from being contaminated by selfish people, stop yourself from going on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. If you're on your phone, you can still use the Facebook Messenger app to talk to friends without having the full Facebook interface open at the same time. If anyone at work/school has seen it, tell them to keep their mouths shut... and if they still persist, run away. So far so good, but when you walk through those cinema doors, there could be people walking out of the viewing before you! What if they're talking to their friends and their voices are dangerously loud?! Head down, earphones in, grab your ticket and popcorn and run! If it seems pretty over the top it's because it is, but that won't stop me doing it! If you're struggling to live without a heavy dose of Internet, watch some movies (make sure you're all up to speed with the MCU), and if you need your daily fix of Infinity War, just jump onto YouTube and watch the first two trailers over and over again until your heart rate goes back to normal. 4. Don't spoil the movie yourself, and make sure your friends don't do the same: Perhaps the most important rule of all. You made it! You managed to watch the movie, laugh, cry, have expectations blown through the roof, all without having anything spoilt for you - well done! Admirable work! However, the hard work has only just begun. You've just seen the biggest and best movie in history and it's all you want to talk about in person and online. There will be places for you to discuss spoilers - don't be one of those people that publicly announce the happenings of a movie inside and out, especially when said movie has only just released. If you and your friends have seen it and want to discuss in person, be wary of people around you. If you're in a busy place like work or school, would it be too dangerous to talk about it? Can it wait? If you can't help it, keep your voices low! Don't come barging out of the cinema bawling your eyes out in awe, screaming "OH MY GAWD, I LOVED THE PART WHERE **** did **** and then ****. I CAN'T BELIEVE **** HAPPENED!" Shush... just shush! If you have children with you, ensure they do the same or ground them for life. Imagine someone trying their hardest not to hear anything about the movie, then reading or hearing something against their will? It's unfair... but you can help prevent that by lowering the percentage of inevitable spoilers. How you ask? Zip it! If you would like to leave your verdict online, please keep it vague, keep it spoiler-free, and don't mention actual parts of the film in detail. This is a worldwide event, and everyone in the world deserves a spoiler-free experience. So there you, I'm actually using this plan for myself... I just thought I'd share it with you all so everyone enjoys Infinity War as much as possible! I for one won't be as active on this blog until I see it on the 26th, just in case you start to wonder. After that, I will be posting like normal, along with a SPOILER-FREE review... emphasis on the "SPOILER-FREE" part. As a whole, don't be worried about spoilers here on my blog, as I will not post anything spoilery, from the heavy, to the slight. Though be warned, I can't control what comments I receive, so if you wish to comment yourself, refrain from reading other people's until you've seen the movie yourself! (I also won't be reading any messages or comments I recieve until after either). Anyway, thanks for reading and good luck with your spoiler prevention quest. Be cautious and be respectful.. but most importantly, enjoy Infinity War! Joe (SuperMovieManiac) ❤

[thebestplltheories]

Farewell, Pretty Little Liars.

Today is the day that we must finally say goodbye to Pretty Little Liars. With its never-ending theories and constant renewals, the PLL endgame always seemed like an intangible, abstract and theoretical concept that is just so far away, that it will simply never come. It feels so surreal to say that today is that day, which again, over the years, was never in sight. I thought watching Pretty Little Liars would just be some light, weekly, background entertainment. On June 8 2010, I did not truly know what crazy rollercoaster I had stumbled upon. Through numerous ups and downs, these past 7 years have certainly been unforgettable. If you told me seven years ago that a television show will have such a positive impact on my life, I would have laughed at you and called you dramatic. Tell me that today, and I’ll smile in appreciation at the positive influence and power a television show can bestow upon its viewers.

Not every show makes it to seven seasons, particularly mystery shows. Seven years is a long time. I started watching this show when I was 13, and I am now 19. (I realise I am probably very young in comparison to most other PLL fans!) Just to visually see this: Pretty Little Liars was with me while I was 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19. These are arguably some of the most important years of one’s life. As I grew, PLL grew too, in a literal sense, as we got a time jump where the characters matured, but also in figurative sense, since the stories gradually shifted from being high-school oriented to dark and twisted themed through a demented dollhouse and a psychologically straining board game. All while PLL was on the air, I graduated from primary school and high school, started university, got my driver’s license, my first job, credit card, car, gone overseas by myself, and made life-long friendships. Achieving all that never was easy, but it was made easier by PLL. If I ever struggled in my personal development, I always had PLL to fall back upon for psychological stability and security, aside from general entertainment. A part of me sees the end of PLL as if the training wheels are coming off my bike: for 7 years, I was learning how to become a young man, and now that I finally am one, I no longer need this safety rock that is PLL in order to continue developing.

This long, personal post is dedicated to me and my seven-year relationship with Pretty Little Liars.

How I started watching PLL

On June 8 2010, a new show called Pretty Little Liars aired. My sister had her friends over and they were all obsessing over this fresh new murder mystery with a hot cast. But it was socially unacceptable for me to watch this show, since I’m a boy. “Are you seriously watching Pretty Little Liars with us? Don’t boys play PlayStation when they’re bored?” My sister laughed in agreement at her friend’s comment to me. (To this day, I am even shamed for my love for Selena Gomez as a person and her music, because she is labelled as a female entertainer.) So I left my sister and her friends alone to watch their stigmatised “chick flick” that was PLL. Apparently it was wrong of me to take interest in this show. But I wasn’t going to let the irrational comments of a group of girls stop me from finding out how Alison DiLaurentis disappeared. And so little 13 year old me began watching the episodes online, in my room, every week, once my whole family had gone to bed. I was careful to put my headphones on a safe volume, because I didn’t want the sound to pulsate too loudly from them, and I always had my computer screen positioned so that it can’t be seen by anyone who unexpectedly walks into my room. Shoutout to my sister, for indirectly introducing me to Pretty Little Liars, but shame on you for making me feel less masculine just because I enjoyed the murder mystery of a show with female leads. I never shamed her for liking Harry Potter; a movie series with mostly male leads. As of June 8 2010, Pretty Little Liars was my secret.

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In my secret weekly viewings of the show, I eventually reached the point where I was so personally immersed with the intricate mysteries of Rosewood, that I needed to hear other peoples’ thoughts to see if they aligned with those within my crazy mind. When I wasn’t doing my homework, I was studying who could be this omnipotent and omniscient stalker and potential murderer. What’s so wrong with a guy wanting to get to the bottom of such a juicy mystery? Apparently, everything was wrong with that. So around the season 3 Halloween episode, I decided to unload my brain on Tumblr; a place my sister could never put a face to the person behind the screen - she could never know her little brother is talking about the “chick flick” that is PLL.

During the first few months, I was lucky if my theories garnered the slightest bit of discussion and attention; I considered it to have been a very good week when I received two messages. Since Tumblr was the only way I could talk about my secret, I persisted with the near-silence my posts were getting because I knew those two messages per week are better than the zero people I can talk to outside of Tumblr. Never ever did I think my blog will blow up into what it is today with tens of thousands of followers and hundreds of messages per week, literally. I’m saving the thank you’s for the very end, because my gosh, that is the most important part of this entire post.

Being highly active on Tumblr during PLL’s lifespan definitely negatively affected my viewing experience of the series. Every single day, I was answering questions, reading theories sent in to me, reading theories posted by other blogs, reading Tweets from the writers/cast and watching interviews from the writers/cast. Everyday. While that was all fun in the moment, I’d be lying if I said that knowing absolutely everything about upcoming episodes and reveals made the show more fun to watch. I was always up to date on every single theory and all of the latest leaks, news, spoilers… whatever. Absolutely anything PLL related, you can bet I had read it. In fact, since I joined Tumblr, not one single event that has happened in the show has truly shocked me. I was here reading theories that Charles is a transgender CeCe. I was here reading theories that Toby is just being A to protect Spencer. I was here reading theories that Spencer gets shot, because we paused the promos at the right frames and could see it happening. Heck, I knew Ezra was only writing a book, I knew A is someone named Charles DiLaurentis and I even knew Mona is alive and being held captive in a dollhouse, ahead of their reveals in 420 and 525 respectively. Not only did scripts leak, but someone who worked on the subtitles of the show leaked the content of the reveals. Being on this site, of course I saw these leaks and spoilers even despite my serious attempts to avoid them. It’s impossible to avoid spoilers since you don’t know it’s a spoiler until, well, you’ve actually read the sentence. Since joining Tumblr, I can honestly say that nothing in PLL has shocked me, so I can conclude that Tumblr did ruin the fun in watching PLL.

Having a less fun viewing experience was a small price to pay for what I received in return for signing up for this wild ride that is Tumblr. Call me obsessed with PLL, and yeah I guess I am, but PLL is merely just the topic of conversation, in this world we created for ourselves. More than PLL itself, I am obsessed with this loving community of fans uniting from around the world, bound by a common passion which places us all as equals who share a sense of belonging and worthiness. This loving and fun community is emphasised and taken advantage of every single day - not just the days a new episode airs. Every. Single. Day. The warmth this community provides to my heart, alone, is enough to instantly override the fact that Tumblr stole the show’s entire shock-factor from me.

It feels very surreal to think that this show experience has finally reached its end - a lot of personal adjustment will need to now take place. In the society and culture I live in, your social status is defined by how many likes you have on your Facebook profile picture and how many likes you get on your weekly Instagram posts. When my posts aren’t up to everyone else’s standards, I find mental security and comfort in closing Facebook and Instagram, and opening the Tumblr app; a place where I do not have to prove my worthiness in society. Numerous times, my friends have been refreshing their Facebook profiles to see how many likes they got, meanwhile I’m refreshing my Tumblr dashboard to see one of your friendly commentaries. Again, this may seem overly obsessive with PLL, but I re-state: over the years, PLL is just the conversational topic. The simple existence of conversation, regardless of the topic, is enough to provide this mental stability I’m speaking of. On top of this inappropriate importance placed on social media in my culture, there have been other times where I have said no to dinner and a movie with friends and admittedly, family too, because I’m lazy and I would rather a date night with my bed and the Tumblr community. No longer will I have something fun to do on a Friday night, home alone. No longer will I have something to occupy me on the bus ride going home from uni. No longer will I have theories to think about during my study “breaks”, or something quick and easy to reward myself with after hours of studying. No longer will I wake up on Wednesday mornings (the Tuesday night equivalent here in Australia) full of energy. Now that this experience is over, I anticipate that my brain may start to feel empty. Sure I will miss the characters and the mysteries of Rosewood, but for me, this is the area that will require a lot of adjustment.

My final evaluation of PLL

As this is a post dear to my heart that I will keep forever, I want to include here my final evaluation of Pretty Little Liars, as a whole series.

Undoubtedly, the best season, in my opinion, is season 7. “But what about good old seasons 1 and 2, when PLL was at its prime?” Sure, seasons 1 and 2 were pretty good. We had just been introduced to fresh and exciting new characters and stories. Everything was amazing in seasons 1 and 2. The girls could be baking cookies whilst talking about good books they’ve read lately, and I would have loved it, because I’d be spending time with these new characters I just met. Retrospectively looking back on earlier seasons, I find that they are way too ‘bubblegum’ for my liking. Mona/A forced Hanna to stop her dad’s wedding, A gave Ella a ticket to the museum Ezria visited, A was hiding in the Spencer’s closet, A was spying on the girls visiting the therapist, A sends the girls on a scavenger hunt in the woods…  sure, these stories did the job to reel me in back then, but if the show continued with these flowery, teenage-girl themes, I don’t believe I’d be here seven years later. Again, they were great for the time, but PLL did need to take a convoluted, complicated, psychologically twisted turn. What excites the 19 year old me, are the stories that season 7 is telling: the liars killing an imposter, the previous A being murdered, a dead body in the trunk, attempting to cover tracks for murder, seducing a cop, twins, the liars getting arrested, a liar betrays her best friends and wears the hoodie, a liar finds out her parents have been lying to her since literally day 1, a liar has been impregnated by the uber villain using another liar’s eggs, and ultimately, the uber villain being revealed. The stakes are heightened, and this is what I appreciate and enjoy watching, more so than a high-school Truth Up Night, a sleepover in the barn, or a liar steeling her sister’s boyfriends. No longer is the show about the Queen Bee of a group of high-school girls who went missing, followed by threatening text messages from an anonymous person. The show is far more mature now in season 7, and I appreciate that a lot. Again, earlier seasons did the tough job of attracting me to permanently reside in Rosewood, but such bubblegum stories would not have sustained me for the years to come. As each season went on, sure more fans began complaining at its progressively unrealistic and exaggerated nature, but I, on the other hand, sat here twiddling my fingers muttering “excellent”.

But have I just got it so damn wrong? If the general worldwide consensus is that PLL is no longer what it used to be, why am I more in love with season 7 than the earlier seasons? The answer is simple, yet easier said than done: I forget about what the writers have done wrong in the past, and I just enjoy the present. Here are the 6 areas that the writers have cumulatively pissed off the fans over the years: mysteries are dropped ridiculously fast (remember Melissa in Ali’s backyard saying “do it, just do it” to someone unknown?), red herrings are not properly explained once the truth is revealed (Melissa’s suitcase handle just so happened to break, when a similar object is what killed Charlotte?) the inconsistency in interviews/tweets (some actors say AD clues exist in season 1, yet Marlene says to ignore seasons 1 and 2), not making answers explicitly clear in the show and instead using interviews to confirm a theory the characters have (Garret being killed by Wilden was never said in the show), some answers don’t have a lot of logic behind them (why was Sara Harvey helping Charlotte?) and a significant imbalance between the romance and the mystery (did we really need to see Hanna dump Jordan because her favourite restaurant shut down, when Big A was killed two minutes ago?)

To summarise this point I’m trying to get across - I hear, and I agree, with the complaints PLL fans have. But never ever did I let “we still don’t know why Sara Harvey helped Charlotte” and “ugh I still can’t believe they killed Maya” disrupt my here-and-now viewing experience. THAT is why I’ve continued to love PLL more in 2017, than I did in 2010.

I’d like to conclude my evaluation on PLL by saying that I felt like I knew these characters on a personal level, to the point I could predict their future behaviour and responses. (Which is a good thing.) I’ve never ever felt this way about the characters of a TV show before. They felt like my friends, who grew up with me, and I’d catch up with them once a week by tuning in. Never have I ever seen a show where the off-screen chemistry is this visible on-screen. I also would like to commend the show for its portrayal of the LGBT community. When the show first started, I was a young, uneducated and immature 13 year old who thought that being straight was normal and being gay made you weird. I reflect back on this and am disgusted by the way I used to think. PLL was my only exposure to the LGBT community, and this show certainly standardised non-straight relationships for me, and was the absolute driving force to my acceptance of all people regardless of their identity and sexuality. To put this into perspective, I ended up ‘siding’ with PLL, rather than my own Catholic school which preached totally contradictory messages to PLL. Go figure: I chose the values of a TV show, than the values of my own school’s religion. While I may be one of the few to admit this on paper, I just know I can’t be the only one to have gone through something like this.

The show should be proud of everything it has achieved.

What’s next?

Let’s be real: PLL will get a reunion of sorts in the future. Shows this popular on social media and with a cast that call each other family, do not just die forever with the series finale. In 5, maybe 7 or 10 years, we will get a Netflix mini series, or even a movie. You can bet your ass I will be here for whatever reunion we get and I genuinely hope we can meet again, come that special time.

With tens of thousands of followers (thank you!!!) I could never have notifications turned on. My phone would have a panic attack. Now with the show ending, I’m expecting a major decline in Tumblr activity. So, I can safely enable notifications now. I promise you: any message I receive, or like, reblog, comment, whatever - from now on in, I will see it. I’m not going anywhere. I will be here forever, in the sense that I’m not deleting the Tumblr app. I may not be posting as frequently, but I’ll be here if there is something to post, or a notification to interact with.

As you may all know, I am obsessed with Riverdale. It is the new PLL. Amazing cast, insanely intriguing mystery. If you’ve never seen Riverdale - watch it. There have only been 13 episodes, concluding the first season, and season 2 is coming later this year. If you loved PLL, which I’m assuming you did if you’re on my blog, you’ll love Riverdale. Two months ago (!!!) I made a Riverdale-theories blog, and I have been waiting for today to officially announce @thebestriverdaletheories !

I am not sure yet if I want to use this blog. I feel like this Tumblr experience should be uniquely special to Pretty Little Liars. If everything is special, then nothing becomes special - I feel like if I start another blog for another show, then this PLL experience will be diminished. Unless, we join each other. If a significant portion of this PLL fandom ports over to Riverdale, then I’m willing to give this new blog a shot! If you go and follow me over there, just send me a message and say that you were a part of the PLL squad, so I know who to follow back! I’d love to see the community continue in this way, if possible. We’ll see how it goes! But I’ll be on thebestplltheories dissecting the finale for a bit, before I move over. Plus, this PLL blog is my main blog, with the Riverdale blog being a side blog. So, I guess this Riverdale blog will be a way for PLL to live on, as I’ll have to look at thebestplltheories every time I log in! So yeah - I’ll give it some time, and we’ll see if PLL fans are passionate about Riverdale!

Thank you

Before this post, no one knew the truth behind this nameless faceless blogger. I feel embarrassed, yet amazing, to finally be sharing with you all my personal and private story.

I cannot find the words to express my gratitude to each and every one of you reading this. Likes, reblogs and pressing that follow button, whilst always appreciated, amounted to nearly nothing in the grand scheme of things. What I appreciate the most, is your gift to me: your gift of a voice. You all gave me a voice in a community that my society labelled for “females only”. I mean, over the years, I received numerous messages with tags like you go girl and thanks girl! Which is fine - how could you possibly know I’m male!? But I highlight this just to emphasise that intuitively, it was always assumed that I am female and so I kept my gender a secret, in fear of being dismissed and not taken seriously in this fandom. All I wanted to do was to participate in PLL theories, and I really did think that my gender wouldn’t allow that. Eventually, I realised that that’s so not true anymore; my gender doesn’t matter! Which poses the question - why didnt I admit this earlier? I didnt want to be known as that blog that’s run by a guy. I wanted to be seen as normal. I knew I wouldn’t get rejected and dismissed, but I also didn’t want to stand out even in this slightest way.

So thank you, ultimately for giving me a voice that my sister and her friends, on June 8 2010, said I can’t have. Thank you for entertaining me every single day. No, not just days of new episodes. We all know this is a daily thing, not weekly. You guys are funny, brilliant, optimistic, honest, kind, energetic, intelligent, passionate, loyal and loving. (Each word there has been carefully selected. I’m not throwing around random positively connoted adjectives.) Thank you for being a spark of positivity in my life for all these years.

FOREVER IN MY HEART, PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

The only ‘show’ I have ever watched, and ever will watch, that is not “just a television show for entertainment purposes only”. The only show who’s set I have visited. That means something to me.

8 June 2010 - 27 June 2017

To summarise this experience in five carefully chosen words: unforgettable, irreplaceable, fun, special, passionate.

Til DeAth Do Us Part.

[gadgetsrevv]

Rebekah Vardy-Coleen Rooney Instagram feud: Why the football wives are fighting

As Britain descends into an increasingly bleak political horror show, today the country is delivering on its most famous export: Shakespearean drama. On the morning of October 9, two famous wives of major football (i.e. soccer) players were embroiled in an epic feud that just so happens to be deliciously suited to the era of Instagram Stories and private accounts. It’s the kind of splashy kerfuffle that forces people who previously had zero knowledge of or interest in a group of people or perhaps an entire sport to eschew all their responsibilities and learn everything they possibly can about it all in the span of a few hours.

This particular English Renaissance play stars two women, Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy (who goes by Becky), both wives of footballers who played for the England national team. Like many WAGs (an acronym for the wives and girlfriends of athletes), the two were friends, and Rooney had trusted Vardy enough to be included on her private Instagram account, where Rooney would post personal updates about her friends and family.

But according to an operatic tweet posted by Rooney on Wednesday morning, which is at once a brutal damnation of Vardy’s actions and a master class in scene-setting and plot building, Vardy was selling those private stories to the press. “For a few years now someone who I trusted to follow me on my personal Instagram account has been consistently informing the Sun newspaper of my private posts and stories,” it begins.

“After a long time of trying to figure out who it could be, for various reasons, I had a suspicion,” Rooney writes. Here’s where it gets good: “To try and prove this, I came up with an idea. I blocked everyone from viewing my Instagram stories except ONE account.”

Coleen Rooney in 2018.

Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images

Rooney then writes that, over the last five months, she posted a series of fake pieces of information about her life to see if they ended up in the Sun. They did: On August 15, the Sun published a story about Rooney and her husband traveling to Mexico to seek controversial gender selection treatment. On September 28, the paper published a story about Rooney possibly joining the BBC reality show Strictly Come Dancing; a third piece about a supposed flood at the Rooney’s Cheshire mansion was also published by the Sun. (All these stories published in the Sun have since been taken down.)

Rooney writes that it was difficult to remain silent and refrain from commenting when the false stories spread about her but that it ultimately helped her find the culprit.

“I have saved and screenshotted all the original [Instagram] stories which clearly show just one person has viewed them,” she writes.

“It’s……. Rebekah Vardy’s account.”

By the time Americans were starting to wake up, the news had lit up British media. That’s not just because the British press is among the thirstiest in the world. It’s because the story had everything: a Notes app-esque manifesto, the genius weaponization of social media, the demonization of a woman named Becky, the exposure of shady tabloid inner workings, and yes, two very rich women fighting with each other, one of whom is widely beloved among football fans for “standing by her man” (Rooney) and one of whom is seen as a fame-hungry money-grubber (that’d be Becky). The Rooney-Vardy feud lets us all feel the kind of vindication of knowing a maybe-bad person is an actually-bad person; it allows us to share in Rooney’s catharsis as she closes her explosive note with the absolute perfect kicker. It’s ……. really great gossip.

Who are Coleen Rooney and Becky Vardy?

It has not been nearly as fun of a day for Becky Vardy, of course. Shortly after Rooney’s post was made public, she posted her own statement to Instagram denying the allegations, claiming that other people had access to her Instagram account and if only Rooney had called her when she first suspected that Vardy was leaking stories, she could have changed her passwords. “I don’t need the money, what would I gain from selling stories on you?” she wrote. “I liked you a lot Coleen & I’m so upset that you have chosen to do this, especially when I’m heavily pregnant. I’m disgusted that I even have to deny this.” Vardy has also reportedly tasked lawyers to conduct a “forensic investigation” on her Instagram account to find out who has access to it.

But for many who have followed both Vardy and Rooney for years, the two statements were vindication that their opinions about each woman were correct all along. “Becky Vardy has always been shady,” says SB Nation soccer writer Kim McCauley. “It’s very obvious she wants to take down Coleen because Coleen has always been the media’s favorite WAG, who got all the best TV spots, and Becky wants to take her place.”

Jamie and Becky Vardy in 2018.

Jan Kruger/Getty Images

“The Vardys are not nice people,” agrees Nicolle Zamora, who writes for the soccer site Unusual Efforts. She points to a series of racist statements both Becky and her husband Jamie Vardy have made in the past. Jamie has been caught on camera multiple times calling a person of Asian descent a racist slur; in 2014, Becky tweeted “Getting followed at 3am from work to your car by a weird black man has to be up there with one of the scariest moments ever!”

Becky in particular is also widely considered inappropriately fame-hungry — she was a cast member on the reality series I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here and regularly appears on talk shows like Loose Women, Good Morning Britain, and This Morning. Many have long suspected her of being the writer behind the Sun’s “Secret WAG” column, which covers football gossip from an anonymous WAG, which would solidify the link between Vardy and the Sun’s coverage of Rooney.

What adds insult to injury, Zamora adds, is that the Sun has a long and bitter history with the city of Liverpool, where both Coleen and her husband Wayne Rooney were born and raised (the Rooneys now live in the US, where Wayne plays for DC United). Since 1989, the people of Liverpool have boycotted the Sun for its false reporting on the horrific Hillsborough disaster, where 96 people were killed at an FA cup football game due to overcrowding inside the stadium.

Meanwhile, Coleen Rooney has long been royalty among football WAGs, once a part of the original queen WAG Victoria Beckham’s crew in the mid-aughts and now most known for being a mother and loyal wife during her husband’s various reported infidelities. People like her because, as London-based football fan Scott Perdue tells me over DM, she has a “humble background, stuck by her man, tries to stay out of the headlines.

“Coleen Rooney has absolutely bossed Rebekah Vardy,” he adds.

Why the Coleen Rooney-Becky Vardy feud is irresistible

But there is also something more universal going on with the Rooney-Vardy feud that’s pulling in even people totally unfamiliar with British WAG culture. Humans love stories about celebrities acting as investigative reporters of their own lives, and Rooney isn’t the first person to weaponize her social media accounts: Kim Kardashian has reportedly sent her friends fake photos of her newborn children to find out who is leaking information to the press. Fans, meanwhile, have started referring to Rooney as “Wagatha Christie” in admiration.

It might also simply be more banal than that. It’s refreshing, for once, to have a clear winner and a clear loser, to be able to root for one team without feeling sorry for the other. Ironically, this is also what can be so appealing about being a sports fan.

Charlotte Wilder of Sports Illustrated draws this parallel: “I’ve always said that sports are the greatest reality show. Even on reality TV, we assume that everything’s edited or manipulated. But you can’t have spoilers for a game, and there’s something really pure about that. And when the athletes’ lives mirror that unexpectedness, it’s thrilling to me.”

Wayne, Coleen, and son Kai Rooney in 2013.

Matthew Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images

Often, when we see athletes’ or celebrities’ lives play out in the press or on social media, there’s a tendency to assume what we’re seeing is in some way fabricated. The Rooney-Vardy feud, meanwhile, feels pure in its messiness. “A lot of times these athletes are very calculated because they know people are paying attention,” Wilder says. “And when done well, it becomes a master class in public relations. With something like this, [Rooney] knows she’s bulletproof, so she can take a risk. You don’t do this unless you’re pretty sure it’s not gonna backfire.”

Ultimately, what we’re talking about is leaked personal interest stories about the lives of famous people. “It’s still fairly petty,” Wilder laughs. “It’s not that there’s some horrible crime at the center of this, so it makes it a little more harmless to enjoy something like this. If it were really ugly and messy I would feel sad, but at this point, we can enjoy it.”

All of which makes Coleen Rooney and Becky Vardy the perfect distraction from literally everything else happening in the UK right now: a feud so neat and perfect it can be tied up with a bow, a Twelfth Night-style comedy of errors that writes itself where the good guy gets all the faves and the bad guy gets canceled. If nothing else, it beats talking about Brexit.

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[heytheregreeneyes]

Something Just Like This

Chapter 8

Summary: Josh falls. Josh falls fast and Josh falls hard. But what happens when he loves something he can’t keep?

Just a super fluffy love story in which, Josh meets and quickly falls completely in love with you. You are pregnant (surrogate) and he gets attached to the pregnancy.

A/N:  Not your typical pregnancy fic! Another dream about Josh that is being turned into a reader insert. I thought, ‘hmm, out of all the pregnancy fics or reader insert fics, I bet exactly zero feature a surrogate pregnancy’. Well, here ya go. Something new/different. Enjoy!

Pairing: Josh Dun x Reader

Type: fluff

Chapters: 10/?

Word Count: 26,695/?

Warnings: none

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 |

Chapter Preview:

Your hands shoot to your mouth as your eyes go wide and you gasp, sucking in a large breath, realizing now what is happening. You immediately start shaking with adrenaline and you can’t tell if it’s the baby or the butterflies that are doing all those flips in your belly.

He looks up to you, big brown eyes full of hope... tears still slipping down his cheeks.

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

‘Is there a baby pilot on the way? Has Josh been secretly dating? Our sources say it’s likely!’

Read on for details below on TMZ.com

These articles are getting ridiculous. You’d only been home for a couple of days when you noticed an uptick in your tags on social media. People you didn’t know were tagging you in posts and comments, and while the articles themselves weren’t really bad, it was the comments that were crazy.

“It’s definitely weird seeing pictures of yourself, ones that you didn’t post, all over the internet,” you say, adjusting your laptop monitor so you can see them better. You called Maddy and Jenna over skype to discuss it.  Plus, after spending every day together for a week, you really missed seeing your friends.

“Yeah, it can get a bit crazy, that’s for sure,” Maddy says.

“What I would suggest is to go on all your social media sites: twitter, instagram, facebook... whatever, and immediately put them onto private, or at least as private as you can get them. Do that as soon as you possibly can. Then go through and delete anything you wouldn’t want leaked all over the internet for people to see. That can be anything from certain information, sad or angry status updates or tweets, bad pictures, pictures of family or extended family you don’t wanna share outside your friend circle… whatever. Because, let me tell you, the fans are smart. They’ll find information on you that you didn’t even know was findable,” Jenna informs, and rightly so. She’s experienced it all first hand.  

You nod, taking her advice to heart. “Yeah, I’ve already noticed that,” you say as you minimize their camera to the upper corner of your screen to begin setting all your socials to private. “Some of them already know my name and that I’m a surrogate,” you say, flatly.

“See? They’re quick!” Maddy affirms, eyes wide and nodding her head.

“Some of the comments have been pretty harsh, but others are just hilarious,” you say, reaching over to pet one of your cats, Gatsby, who jumped up and curled against your leg. You’re unsure where the other three are at the moment.

“Yeah, that’s one of the sucky things about it. There’s some really good fans and some that are absolutely hilarious, but then there’s also the really mean and rude ones. You have to do your best to just ignore those and focus on the good ones, unfortunately.” Jenna says.

“Yep! I’ve already seen comments that talk about the typical bashing of how I look and my weight and stuff, and those that compare me to his past relationships, but then I’ve seen some really mean ones that say Josh doesn’t actually like me, that he’s only with me because he knocked me up. As if I secretly got pregnant with his baby to trap him in a relationship or something.”

“Just let it roll off, sweetie. People used to make fun of my weight too, and it can really get to you if you let it. Just try to look past it,” Maddy cautions.  

“I know, I am. Luckily, there are some really funny comments that kinda balance it out. My favorite are the ones that say that yes, I am a surrogate, but that I’m a surrogate for Jenna and Tyler. Or, and this is my favorite, that yes, I am a surrogate, but Jenna and I are just cover-ups for Josh and Tyler’s relationship, and that I’m actually carrying the baby for them. Or another version where Josh and I aren’t even in a relationship at all, and I’m only around because I’m carrying a baby for him and Tyler, and they want me near so they can monitor the pregnancy. I died when I heard that one. Hilarious!”

“Well, Tyler is partly to blame for that one. He brings some of that Joshler stuff on himself,” Jenna says pointedly, but also with a smile.  

Yeah, but they are such great friends, though. And I love that they can be so close and be there for each other, especially when on the road. Honestly, it’s kind of a given that they’d be a packaged deal. Date one get one free, kind of a thing,” you say giggling, Maddy and Jenna joining you and agreeing.

“Exactly! I knew when I married Tyler that I’d, in some ways, be marrying Josh as well.”

“True,” you say, shaking your head.

“So, I know you’ve only been home for just a couple of days, but when are you planning to come back out here?” Maddy asks.

“Not sure. I have some things I need to take care of here, but then I might look into coming back out there. I miss you girls!

The doorbell rings and you click over at the tab with your pizza order, seeing that the status shows as ‘out for delivery’.

“Oop, I better go. Pizza’s here! I’ll talk to you girls later. Miss you!”

“Bye! Miss you!” they say, blowing kisses as you exit the app.

You shut your laptop, tossing it to the middle of your bed before grabbing your cash off your nightstand and heading to the door.

You open the door and immediately hear a strong whimper, glancing up just quick enough to get a glimpse of a yellow streak flying towards you as you’re pulled into a tight hug.

“Oh my god, I missed you so much.”

Josh.

You pull back just enough to glance at his face, a face which has its eyes squeezed shut, before you snuggle back in. You squeeze him back tightly and inhale deeply, taking in as much of him as you can. It’s only hitting you now just how much you missed him.

“I missed you, too,” you say, turning to kiss his cheek before stepping back. “And not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? I thought you and Tyler had some recording to do,” you say, propping the door open and stepping aside so that he could come in.

He rolls his suitcase over against the wall, near the door but out of the way before answering, “I decided I don’t like being that far away from you. So, I fixed it. Surprise!” he finishes, holding out his arms sheepishly.

“Hey, I’ll take it,” you say quietly, stepping forward so that he could wrap his arms back around you and kiss you properly. He kisses you slowly, savoring it, as his hands drop to your growing belly.

“And, if it’s okay, I kinda wanted to go to your ultrasound appointment with you,” he murmurs pushing his forehead against yours.

“Well, then you made it just in time; my appointment is tomorrow afternoon. And,” you say as you see a car pull into the driveway, “you're just in time for pizza.”

“This night just keeps getting better!”

-----

“Dude, I still can’t believe that in the next episode they-” he starts.

“Hey, hey, hey! Spoilers!” you quickly cut in to avoid finding out any plot points too soon

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

You’re both lying on your bed, legs tangled together watching Sex in the City on the tv/xbox combo you had set up in there for lazy netflix binging. He was holding your hand, thumb lazily grazing your knuckles as you four cats piled around him, successfully preventing you from snuggling any closer.  

He looks over at you, contented, goofy grin on his face when something red on your nightstand catches his eye. “Is that a bluetooth speaker?”

You look over briefly to see it wedged between your table lamp and stacks of notebooks. “Uh, yeah. I got it for christmas a couple of years ago.”

He carefully starts extracting himself from the cat corral they had made around him, digging something out of his pocket as he goes.

“Do you mind if I play something?” he says, holding up his phone.

“No, go ahead,” you say, reaching over to turn it on so he can sync his phone.

A few moments of silence go by as he turns on his bluetooth to sync with the speaker. Suddenly, a female robotic voice cuts through the brief silence, “Connected to: Spooky’s iPhone.”

You don’t say anything, just glance over at him, eyebrows raised as both of you burst out in a fit of giggles.

“What? Don’t judge me!” he says, teasingly, as the familiar song starts playing.

You immediately recognize the song as the one you danced together to at the wedding.

“Josh, you silly boy, what are you trying to do?”

“Dance with me,” he says simply, holding his hand out to pull you up. He pulls you to him and towards the center of the room, just in front of the foot of the bed.

He tugs you closer, belly snug against his waist as he takes one of your hands in his, and places his other hand on the small of your back before starting to sway to the music. He leans his head down to rest his cheek against the side of your head, and you can’t believe it as he starts to actually sing the words to you.

“Forever can never be long enough for me, to feel like I've had long enough with you,” he sings softly.

You’re dying. Not only is this just the sweetest thing ever, but Josh is singing. Actually singing. Something he never does… and he’s singing… to you. It’s beautiful.

“Forget the world now we won't let them see. But there's one thing left to do.”

How appropriate that that lyric perfectly fits into your conversation you had earlier today.

“Marry me. Today and every day. Marry me. If I ever get the nerve to say ‘Hello’ in this cafe, say you will.”

He turns his head and places a kiss on your cheek. You feel him pull you tighter to him before his hand glides around, resting on the swell of your belly, thumb stroking back and forth as he continues to sway in small circles.

“Together can never be close enough for me to feel like I am close enough to you. You wear white and I'll wear out the words ‘I love you’, and ‘you're beautiful’.”

“I love you, Josh,” you turn to whisper in his ear. You watch as a smile and a blush grow on his face as he continues to sing.

“I promise to sing to you, when all our music dies.”

It’s at this point that he stops swaying. Stops singing. Just pulls back enough to hold you at arm’s length, looking you directly in the eyes.  

“Josh?”

“Kat, like the lyrics said, th-these past few days... I-I couldn’t stand to be away from you. It was actual torture. You were all I could think about, all I could talk about… I couldn’t even concentrate enough to record anything decent at the studio. All I wanted was to be where you were.  And actually, I knew from the moment I first saw you that I’d never want to be away from you, and these past few days only proved it to me that much more.”

His words are so sweet, and you are positively melting at what he’s saying. Your heart rate and breathing start to pick up, and you get a rush of butterflies in your stomach when you see the look of sincerity on his face.

“I know-” his voice cracks and he has to look away for a second, wiping at his eyes where tears have started to spill over. “Sorry,” he whispers before clearing his throat and starting again.

“I now know my life will never be complete without you beside me to share it. I know now that I exist in two places... here,” he says, bringing his hand to rest over his heart as another stray tear falls, “and wherever you are,” he finishes, bringing his hand up to cup your face.  

He stops talking to lean in for a short, sweet kiss. When he pulls back, he pauses just long enough to gently rub your belly for a second before pulling something out of his pocket and dropping to his knee.  

He holds out the flat box and slowly opens it, a beautiful diamond ring blooming into view, sparkling in the low light of the room.

Your hands shoot to your mouth as your eyes go wide and you gasp, sucking in a large breath, realizing now what is happening. You immediately start shaking with adrenaline and you can’t tell if it’s the baby or the butterflies that are doing all those flips in your belly.

He looks up to you, big brown eyes full of hope as he holds the ring up to you, tears still slipping down his cheeks.

“Kat, will you marry me?”

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 |

In case you didn't recognize it, the song he sings is Marry Me, by Train. And I changed ONE word in the lyrics to that song. Do you know what it was?

As always, I am actually a surrogate, currently pregnant with my 3rd surrobaby, so If you have any questions or are curious about any part of being a surrogate, please ask! I love talking about surrogacy stuff!

x-posted on my Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/EncOREO/works