#SERIOUSLY I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH EVER??
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ts-janus-rp-blog · 2 days ago
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"That's... That's what they do? I... Seriously? I...had no idea... No one ever told me... Course... I also never asked questions. But... That can't be true... Maybe you misunderstood someone... Or they were telling you lies. Cause there's no way they'd do that..."
"You think so? Alright, maybe that's the option we'll go with. I just hope he'll listen and that it'll work... Cause I do think he'll be great for Roman. They seem similar enough that I'm sure he'll be a great hybrid for Roman. I don't want to get rid of Patton cause of that, you know? Roman will kill me if I do... I... Okay... I'll figure it out... Thanks, Ems." Roman flashed him a small smile before he moved to stand up. "What sort of command do you think it should be? What? Stop? Shut up? Uh..." He tilted his head. "Sit? No... Uh..."
Patton knocked desperately at the strangers door, praying someone, anyone was home. His heart beat as fast and loud as the rain thundering against the sidewalk. He was sure he was being followed, they were going to catch him. They were going to drag him back. He wasn't sure if whoever lived here might be worse, but he was willing to risk it at this point. Anything to escape.
{@moralpuppylover2}
Janus didn't know who would be at the door. It was late, but his master won't surely be home at this time. He normally doesn't get home until the sun starts to come up.
So, as the dog hybrid walked up to the door and opened it, he wondered who it could be. And if he should open it at all... Who knows, he may get in trouble with his master for opening the door. But, his curiosity was getting the better of him-
He stopped when he saw the soaking wet cat standing at the doorway. He could tell that this cat needed help almost immediately. Well, if his poor state of clothes were anything to go by. His eyes flickered up and down the sidewalk before he grabbed pattons arm and pulled him inside.
"are you alright?" Janus nervously asked as he grabbed a towel from the mud room. "Well, that's a stupid question, of course you're not alright! Are you...running away from your owners?" As Janus walked, the collar around his neck would jingle loudly. And even though it was cold outside and even in the house, he only had a pair of boxers on. Because of that, Patton would be able to see the numerous large scars that covered his body...and the countless amounts of fresh bruises.
@moralpuppylover2
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thezombieprostitute · 17 hours ago
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Taking Care of You
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A/N: Written for @the-slumberparty's December Daze Challenge.
Prompt: hot chocolate/apple cider/tea and a nice book
Warnings: Implied smut, Language, Pregnancy. Please let me know if I'm missing any!
Series Masterlist
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You were sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, alternating between watching the snow fall and reading your book while drinking cider made from the apples you and Steve had picked earlier in the year. Back before you knew you were pregnant.
Your smile widens at the memory of Steve trying to tell you about it. That it was the reason he'd been in such a territorial, protective mood. You weren't upset with him but you did ask about a pregnancy test or two to confirm. He understood and not only got you the pregnancy tests but also got you a doctor appointment to confirm. Sure enough, you were about a month along then.
Since then Steve has been going into overdrive to make sure you and the baby are safe and comfortable. Emphasis on the comfortable. You never thought you'd go for the kind of man that takes care of almost literally everything for you, but Steve might be changing your mind on that. He somehow manages to be around all the time without feeling suffocating. Even when you go into town together and he's in full on guard mode. If anything, his caring, protective side just makes your hormones go even more out of control.
As if on cue, Steve comes into the living room from his workshop. He's been working on a handmade crib for the little one, insisting he wants the pup to be surrounded by familial scents. He must have worked up a sweat because his shirt is off and you lick your lips at his exposed torso. You gently squeeze your thighs together and he gives you a knowing look.
"Does my girl need some attention?" he almost growls.
"Please, Steve," you whine.
"Tell me what you need, Doll."
"I need you to fuck me, Steve," you whimper. "I need you to fill my pussy with your cock, please!"
Steve's pupils are blown as he starts unwrapping you from your blankets. "It'll cost you, you know."
"What's the price?" you moan. The blankets are off and his hands are pushing down your sweatpants.
"First I get to eat your pussy like it's my last meal."
A shiver runs down your spine as you whimper, "yes, please."
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You're woken up by the sound of Steve's voice. You feel a slight pressure on your stomach and, after blinking a few times, you realize Steve is talking to the small bump created by the baby.
"I have no idea what I'm doing," he confesses to the baby bump. "But I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you and your mama are safe and happy." He pauses for a few moments. "That being said, we gotta have a talk about your eating habits. I get that you want a lot of protein but you need to let Mama eat some vegetables. You both need the nutrients. It can't be steak, pork chops, and ham all the time. Though you do seem to accept soups and stir fry. Maybe Mama can teach me how to make those so she can rest some more. Don't think I haven't noticed how tired she's gotten. Seriously, you gotta let her eat some veggies."
His one-sided conversation is interrupted by your giggles.
"Excuse you," he playfully chides, "I'm having a conversation here."
"You're talking to my belly," you counter.
"I'm talking to our baby, thank you."
You both smile softly when he says that. You gesture for him to move in close for a kiss and he acquiesces.
"And I know you're going to be a great dad," you assure him, making his cheeks turn pink.
"We won't know for certain until the baby is here."
"Trust me," you hug him. "You're already working hard to make sure this baby has a great start in life. You've even been reaching out to other werewolves, something you've never done before, just to ask about things for me and the baby. You swallowed your pride for us. That's no small endeavor."
Steve nuzzles his beard against your neck. "Thank you for giving me a much better, richer life than I ever thought I'd get."
"My pleasure, Steve."
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Series Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @darsynia; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63
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newkatzkafe2023 · 23 hours ago
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ooooooo I love Pucca and Garu!
So if the Monkey Queens are Pucca that meets Garu!male y/n type of dynamic?
Oh imagine the living hell male y/n has to go through to run across the world to avoid Monkey Queens affection lmao ����
Poor ninja boi just wanna go fishing and do his training lol
The crazy thing is, this is not farfetched😅
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(Lmk Wukong) She thought you were an adorable and hot ninja monkey, and she couldn't control herself. Whenever your out training your abilities she would come by and give you googoo eyes, at you and your back muscles licking her lips. Wukong would actively stalk you for your love and attention, making sure to tease you as much as you do to her. Though It doesn't take long before you both end up bed🫢.
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(NR Wukong) SHE IS THE QUEEN OF CLINGY, the day she saw you her whole world wasn't as grey. Knowing how she had once gave up on the modern world until she met you, seeing you training hard and so Discipline. Wukong's eyes had hearts in them and she purred softly as she gets an eye full of your lean muscles wanting more of you. You saw her everywhere you go, a party, at the mall, even very invasive places like a bathroom stall🫢 You tried to enjoy your fishing hobby one day, but instead of a fish instead you pull out a half naked female monkey. Their no getting rid of her😑
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(HIB Wukong) She loves to value her personal space more than anyone, so she wouldn't be too much of a problem. She turned out to have a good amount of self control, until she got a good look at you. You made her so thirsty for you upon seeing your handsome face and lean body like yes, please make sure to spoil her nicely. Don't overthink it to much when you both get naked and alone🔞.
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(MKR Wukong) Now the only time she would ever get clingy and invasion, if she was to get jealous and possessive. Though it's easy to tame those Instincts of hers, with just a bunch of hot make out sessions. Like seriously your hold her leg up to your thigh as you both went at it, it'll be easy to tame her just a bit. Until she gets greedy and she can't get enough of you, now she's chasing you down to the ends of the earth just to taste your tongue again....👅
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(Netflix Wukong) You know what's crazy you actually don't mind Wukong running to you for love and affection. You both would have secrets Rendezvous when she gets lonely in the evenings. Make out sessions become a Frequent must memorizing the perfect buttons to push, while your tongue ends up down her throat. If anything she should be running from you, that is if she can😉
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(BMW Wukong) Yeah personal space yeah, she don't know her😒 Where ever you run to, where ever you hide Wukong will find you and demand for your affection. She also would steal kisses like nobody's business, and what worse is that she'll come out of nowhere taking what she wants. Though you make to return it tenfold as a thank you for scarying away the fish😈
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(Destined one) Now At she knows to give you your personal space, but she quickly gets lonely. She would immediately go to find you as she wants your attention and Cuddles. Which your more then happy to grant, with moments like these you both get very Intimate with each other, and let's just say she'll see nothing but hearts when your ninja claws are done with her😍
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FEEL FREE TO REBLOG
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originalgenshinscenarios · 18 hours ago
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Heya! Your writing looks pretty nice hehe! Don't mind me asking for something a little special!
How about Yandere!Kujou Sara with a shy, timid reader? Perhaps the reader is scared of her at first, but once they start to slowly open up, she starts getting endeared and attached? I hope you have fun with this idea!
I did have a lot of fun with it. I didn't exactly see Sara as a possible yandere type until I started thinking of this scenario- even though I think I could do it better. I just can't tell what would I need to change to be honest.
Yandere! Sara with a timid S/O
Cw: manipulation
Reader here is: Gender neutral
Disclaimer: everything in purple text is Sara's narrative so these notes especially aren't meant to be taken seriously. This is not healthy. This entire scenario isn't showing a healthy relationship. Nor is it gloryfing it.
At first she didn't pay any attention to you. Your lives bearly ever crossed and you liked it that way. She was... A bit terrifying.
Her cold glare, her strictness. It was just hard to see past it. It's like she was allergic to smiling.
But fate has it that it likes to mess around. Things changed, slightly but they did either way.
You were helping a friend out run a stall during a festival. It was pretty hard for you given how you didn't want to interact with people.
Luckily, you didn't have to do much around the customers... Until your friend went to take a break.
You were all by yourself. Eventually you were yelled at by a customer and just as luck would have it- Sara was passing by.
Seeing that person cause a ruckus she stopped that person without even second of hesitation.
She was your hero, and you couldn't thank her enough. The way you held onto her hand shaking, your eyes avoiding hers as if she'd turn you into stone if you dared to look... It was captivating.
There was just something in the way you acted. She couldn't put a finger on why was that... But she wanted to feel that again. Even if it meant placing you in an uncomfortable situation once more.
She started following you. You were unaware of it but your gut told you something was off. Your friends dismissed it as you being too paranoid and that nothing was wrong.
And they were right to think that, after all she was only looking out for you. In time, you'll see that. It was normal for Sara to walk around Inazuma so any place you "accidentally" bumped into her felt natural.
Eventually you started interacting more with each save. Her black wings almost looked like that of an angel to you. She was happy when you started to actually talk... Even if neither of you knew what to talk about exactly. But it was fine as long as you looked only at her.
Whenever you smiled at her she felt things unlike any other... But she liked whenever she made you feel safe much more. She wanted you to rely on her.
She loved feeling useful. You had to have her by your side or else you wouldn't know how to function.
She was attached to a point where she took you everywhere. She didn't want to be away for even a moment. At first you just thought it was because of the fact that you freshly started dating... But it was only partly the reason.
You didn't want to see her wrongs. You were so focused on the times she helped you, you didn't think about how toxic she was becoming. Then again, how is keeping you safe toxic? Sure sometimes she overreacted but that's because she loved you.
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specifiedshippinglover13 · 10 months ago
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LIVE JACKIE REACTION:
*Gets the notification*
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!!
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LIVE REACTION TO PETS:
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(sorry for using the alternate account but Tumblr is being weird again =_=) Anyhow, here's more art! :DD
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I think I'm getting better at it overall tbh :DD
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Even tried something a little more than the face this time! :DD
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Took a shot at ur star child! THEY'RE DESIGN IS SOOOO GOOOOD AND PREDDDDY!! LOOOVE THE COLORS AND THE EMOTIONS!! THE HAIR IS REALLY FUN DESPITE THE SHAPE!! IM HEADCANONING THEM TO LIKE CAREBEEEARS <333
They deserve a good eep UvU
Hope you're doing well! Stay hydrated and take care of yourself :)
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elwolfen · 3 months ago
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God... Steven Universe is so good
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a-s-levynn · 5 months ago
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they made one for you (it was a team effort)
Excuse me?! It's bigger than the four of the together! 🥹🫶🏻
Panda!!!! I don't even know what to say. 🥺 This is so incredibly kind of you, thank you so much! Also can i just say that the way you draw them in chibi-esque style is just so freaking adorable? Especially those kinda pug-like eyes on ii? (Even with my heavy iv bias.) It's just. I'm not even sure i have the words but i'm really in love with them.
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hopeinthebox · 1 year ago
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your tags (and also your reductress posts) are the funniest most charming thing i have ever seen on the internet and not to be parasocial but i wish we were best friends
ANON!!! not to be parasocial but we absolutely are?? anyway quick question- is it too soon to say i love you
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medicinemane · 1 year ago
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Like I've said, I try not to talk about it too much because it is a heavy topic, and I don't want people overwhelmed and burnt out to the point it all feels hopeless and they tune out
But the reason I do sometimes share stories like that last one about Ukraine is... I just... I really want to make sure people understand what this war is about
If russia pulls out... they fail to expand their territory and they have to go back and lick their wounds... that's it
If Ukraine gives up... they die. Towns under russia occupation are bad. Real bad. I don't share most of it because of how horrendous it is. Then people not under occupation can still have a missile hit their house at any time for not reason
It's literally a matter of life and death vs colonial ambitions
So I try to keep from bringing it up too often cause I understand the fatigue we all feel from all the horrible news we get, but this is why I feel so strongly about this, and this is why I hope that you, whoever you are reading this, also at least generally support Ukraine even if you can't keep up with all the details
I just don't want any more kids dying in missile strikes
#I follow stuff which means that I hear news like this pretty much daily; though usually they're not that young#but civilians are killed almost every day#and that's ignoring; as in literally ignoring; that a lot of the Ukrainian army right now is made up of#just normal Ukrainians trying to throw out the invaders#and a lot of them die too; and that one doesn't even end up being a blip on the radar generally#even though many of them were civilians before the invasion and only have a uniform on to defend their homes#anyway... like I said; if you don't really keep up with it#but you have a general sense of supporting Ukraine and thinking they deserve military aid; we're on the same page#thank you very much#if not; I really do wonder why; as in I'd be happy to talk about why I feel how I feel#cause I feel like there's enough information that makes a compelling case for why they deserve help#anyway... sorry; just... I just see a kid getting killed by a missile and it gets to me#and I can't do a damn thing; but I at least have to say something#and I seriously do try and minimize how much I pass on to avoid fatigue#cause I know that like... in the past when there's been major news going on#I've had people tell me they appreciate that they can scroll my blog without being reminded of it#cause they know; they know; they hear about it every second of the day already#and like... seriously; I appreciate where that feeling's coming from#I want to foster just a place where people can mostly chill#but like... I only ever hear about Ukraine from Ukrainians#(or the one Romanian I follow; but we're gonna lump them into the same basket for a moment)#so... you'll have to forgive me if I assume most people here don't know what's going on in Ukraine like I do#this isn't a judgement thing; it's just the news in the west here doesn't talk about it much like the did in the beginning#I'm not accusing anyone of not caring; I'm just saying that you'll have to forgive me#cause I've got to assume you actually legitimately don't know the latest info#and you'll have to forgive me if I assume that you don't really tend to hear that info very often from many sources#basically; I'm not judging at all; but basically if I'm wrong and this is something you're being bombarded with#forgive me for thinking you aren't; because I don't see a hint of it#except from a sphere of Eastern Europeans on here or the people I follow specifically for this on youtube#basically; know me thinking you don't hear about this isn't something negative I'm saying about you
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purring-tiefling · 2 years ago
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fuck my ex friend frfr
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hauntedhopeghost · 3 months ago
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been debating on what to say for longer than i've expected, going anon for this ( although i mayyy suspect you may already know who i am just by my writing style but- welp! xd ) ; if i say anything even remotely wrong, you are free to ignore this ask /gen
you're enough. i think one big step is learning you don't have to be enough for everyone else because it's impossible to do that. you can't please everyone, you can't not please everyone aswell ; 8 billion people in the world, it's almost destiny that atleast 100 of them will be bothered by your existence, and other 100 will not.
although, it's okay to feel that way. it's okay to feel like you have to please everyone, to feel like you have to make everyone happy, to feel worthless if that's not the case. it's okay and you're allowed to feel that way. you are not to blame for feelings that you cannot control.
i won't say i understand, but as a fellow people-pleaser, i can say that i can atleast get the feeling. and i want you to know that it's okay. feel free to open up, to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel worthless, to feel like you're not good enough, to feel like your entire existence is entitled to only making people happy - you're allowed to feel all of those things and more. that's okay.
embrace those feelings instead of shoving them away, be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to just feel. it's okay.
it's so easy to just say you're worth, but you're not gonna believe me if i say you are. so i ask you to say those things to yourself instead, and the multiple times you feel like that's just luck, or you're being a fraud ; that's when you know you're doing great. that's when you know you are worth much more than what that voice in your head tells you.
your worth as someone is much more than what your acchievements tells you ; accept yourself as someone who is allowed to feel, to mess up, to regret, to cry, to be successful, to be kind to oneself, to feel and be all of those things and more.
that can be quite hard to do, but look how far you've gotten. you're still here, aren't you? easier said than done, i know. and it won't get easy, not even one bit - but, and i mean it genuinely : you got this. you genuinely got this.
not sure what to say anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'm here if you wanna talk. my dms are open for you , and i will be there to give my support to you just as much as i can.
<- sincerely, a moot.
...
hey. thanks. /gen
I'm surprised that you even bothered to write out the message. it's odd because I had a weird thought of "they'll just ignore it"/"I want someone to notice this."
I'm still here. Yeah. That is something.
(Holy shit you made me cry with this /gen /pos)
I think I've grown relatively desensitized to people caring about me (not because of them, but because I've truly forgotten what it's like to have someone actually comfort you, especially when said person barely knows you.) but I seriously, seriously appreciate people (like you!) that bother to send me messages like this.
it does help make things better. like- seriously.
(still somewhat in shock because why would anyone care about how I'm doing and take time out of their day to write or do anything for my sake?) but I want to say this did make me feel a lot better. not okay, but a lot better. /gen /pos
be kind to yourself. now hang on a minute didn't I write something literally about this-
oh. i guess i'm just not taking my own advice.
#ghost's smol ask box#ghost vents to the void#for the record: yeah. i do know who you are. most likely.#and i want to thank you. i know i did but thank you. thank you.#my blog is currently titled as “imposter syndrome. stop coming in uninvited.” and it sums it up pretty well#it would be so easy to just tell someone to stop. like snap your fingers and suddenly you can internalize the fact that#you are enough and you deserve everything#but it isn't as easy as just saying it to someone#it's so easy to judge people who have a depleted sense of self-worth from an outsiders perspective#and go: “psh- why is this person bending over backwards to please everyone? they are clearly good enough.”#“all of the validation they could ever get is right there in front of them." (even if it's more complicated than that)#*cough cough*#i might not just be talking about me here. there's a certain someone who this also may or may not apply to (try and guess who)#problem is: even if the whole world tells you that you're good <- highly unlikely you'll still see yourself#as undeserving and worthless and everything inbetween#validation/approval addiction is very much a thing and even at the end of the day you KNOW you can't please everybody#you still try even though it's a lose-lose situation at the end.#oopsies i turned this into rambling lol currently trying to get back to writing on ao3 but i'm contemplating deleting all the things#people might not like or might be sick of.#...OH NO-#did the new episode teach me NOTHING 😭#but i'm being serious. this takes so long to try and untangle. especially when your entire life feels like to please people for your worth#maybe i'll write something about it. idk.#it's really hard to be kind to yourself. but I'm trying. /gen#i wish younger me can hear this. they seriously need this.
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mad-hunts · 1 month ago
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if barton tried hard enough, he thought, imagining himself being literally anywhere else but the warehouse right then was easy. this place was never meant to be lived in for an extended period of time after all; despite the fact that it had appliances that you might see in an every day home like a fridge.
it put him on edge instead of at ease, and it certainly didn't better barton's mood when he stayed in it either, after all. but so long as he was allowed to dream within it to some degree... it was tolerable. plus, he had company here, courtesy of nico, jack, and barton also supposed jervis counted. nico had complicated feelings towards the doctor, though, and spending time around jack whilst in it thus far gave barton an unfortunate impression; which was that his own son was made nervous by him.
and the irony of it all was, barton only gathered that because he could feel cognitive empathy towards him. something that didn't include feeling but reasoning. therefore, the hopes of him somehow patching that up with jack someday were drastically decreased. barton vaguely listened to jervis respond to what he'd said about him being in the warehouse solely because of them; all of the words but one not quite having any actual impact on him, this being 'nightmares.'
the smell of the yuja tea that jack prepared for jervis, as fragrant in the air that it was, seemed to be the one thing keeping him from being sucked down a unpleasant train of thought. for someone who didn't feel human half the time, barton sure as hell experienced his own fair share of seeing 'ghosts' from the past and mourning the way some things had gone in his life. and regret, as well as sorrow, were practically intertwined in every single 'normal' person's life that he'd known.
speaking of regret, once he'd closed the curtains, something from the small cabinet hanging on the wall next to them fell to the floor. barton picked it up and was immediately reminded of why he kept this photo here instead of at his home. hiding it away helped alleviate the pain of not only loving someone and losing them, but also knowing that at the time it was taken, everything seemed fine.
'my 19th birthday party - spent right, with my handsome fiancé!' was written on the back in marcy's handwriting. barton felt like screaming and smashing something simultaneously. the photo was instead placed in his pant pocket, whilst he dragged his hands down his face and thanked his lucky stars that jervis wasn't exactly expecting any big conversations from him. barton's hand flexed by his side before he was changing his shirt, wondering just what the hell he was supposed to do after seeing that again.
grief was a thing he'd never been able to pend down how to deal with 'appropriately,' unfortunately. from marcy, to the momentary blink of an eye that felt like his bittersweet friendship with yves, to his son julien's death - barton thought he'd be destroyed by all of those losses for the longest time. but he supposed he was still here, god willing, or laughing at him more like if such a being did exist. barton noticed the fabric that was splitting on the blanket and how jervis very much appeared to be in his own world.
it was at that moment that he reached for something in that same cabinet he'd opened to change his shirt, finding that sewing thread and needle he'd stored in there long ago. barton kept it there because the shirt he was wearing had actually torn at some point and he'd fixed it. though, he had no use for it now, so he decided to put it on the edge of edge of the cabinet if jervis wanted it. but he didn't really know what he wanted. that night seemed to be a series of gut punches now as the other touched upon how jack was a good person and barton should be proud of him.
he blinked several times as he felt this sensation like something ugly was swirling within him. jack had always kind of gotten the short-end of the stick, and for what? ❝ ahh. well, sometimes i've found myself practicing behaviors towards him that my father used to use on me... but i try to stop myself when that happens. jack has come a long way, as the first time i met him, he was a scared two year old who was on his own with his brother. but now jack's a young man and very brave, despite maybe still being scared sometimes. ❞ barton cleared his throat then, ❝ that's normal though. so yeah, i am proud of him. ❞
barton turned his attention back to jervis and tilted his head at the other's sluggishness. being vulnerable like that surprisingly didn't feel too nerve-wracking, as he added just a bit more to the equation. barton gave the iv bag jervis was hooked up to a good squeeze, ❝ hmm. are you still in pain, jervis? or are you just tired? ❞ he observed the other silently and looked down at the cards before the both of them. that is, before barton heard jervis approve of him reading his fortune.
he drifted a hand along the cards then. choosing one that felt 'right' came without much difficulty to barton, and when he did, the reversed 'wheel of fortune' card for jervis's past. the next card he chose was the reversed 'six of swords' for jervis's present. barton flipped the last one for his future and was greeted by 'the sun,' which made him let out a soft 'huh' and smile a bit. ❝ well... i hate to start off with the past when you got this card, but i guess we have to. ❞ he was about to start interpreting jervis's fortune when jack came back into the room with the breakfast he promised the other. well, talk about convenient timing.
Jervis merely rolled his eyes at Barton’s remark, fingers biting into the fabric of the blanket as he pulled it around his shoulders like an old shawl. The plush material was a little threadbare at the corner; a tear disrupting the otherwise seamless fabric.
Sea-green and white plaid. Utilitarian, impersonal.
It sufficed perfectly; his thin frame was almost terminally intolerant to the cold. 27 years in Gotham had failed to inoculate him against the frigid rains and bone-chilling air sweeping off the harbor.
“Trust me, I’m well aware where I would be, if it weren’t for you both. I see enough of the place in my nightmares… so I don’t require any reminders.” He flexed his fingers around the teacup, feeling the warmth seep into his hands as he cautiously tipped the liquid into his mouth. It had a strange, but not unpleasant consistency, like warm, thin honey that slid smoothly over his tongue in a tangy blend of sweet and sour. Tiny bits of softened citrus peel floated in the syrupy mixture.
Barton’s IV pole scraped slightly along the concrete floor, a sharp metallic sound that mingled with the sudden rasp of the curtains being jerked shut. The room was clean and sparse, a sterile space designed to be free of clutter, yet a faint, telltale mustiness clung to the air—a lingering scent of damp fabric and stale dust that disinfectant alone couldn’t quite mask. Beyond the makeshift partition, the rest of the warehouse stretched out in vast, dark emptiness. The floor was cold, unpolished concrete, marred with cracks that split like spider webs. Dim, flickering fluorescent lights cast a harsh, uneven glow, barely cutting through the haze of dust that swirled in the air.
But, of course, beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to hideaways—especially when you’ve learned to take shelter wherever you can find it. Or when you were part of the criminal element.
How far he’d come and how little had truly changed.
Jervis glanced across the room at where his coat, shirt, and gloves rested neatly on the desk, carefully folded with almost surgical precision. He flexed his hands again around the teacup, feeling the phantom prickle of sensation where the wool-lined leather should be—an exposed vulnerability that gnawed at him, made his skin itch with invisible grime.
He sank his teeth into a particularly broad piece of yuja peel, the bitter tang releasing as he bit down; meanwhile, Barton’s voice drifted in one ear, out the other like the static hum on a faulty wireless. He chewed slowly, savoring the rind as he turned his attention back to the small tear in the blanket. Nodded intermittently.
Jervis’ callused, scarred fingers found the frayed edge; the fabric was worn thin and splitting, and he traced it absentmindedly, feeling the uneven fibers beneath his touch. For a moment, his thoughts shifted to the sewing kit buried somewhere in his bag, imagining the small spool of thread and the thin, glinting needles; each one ready to pierce the fabric and pull it back together.
As if stitching this small wound would make any real difference, he thought bitterly; like it could somehow soothe the cold reality pressing in on them from all sides… It was a small, pointless task, a flicker of control in a situation that felt like it was slipping away, unraveling faster than he could sew it back together. He knew it wouldn’t ameliorate anything—wouldn’t solve the problems looming larger than this tiny, frayed corner. And yet, his fingers lingered there, desperate for something tangible to fix; something he could make whole again, if only for a moment.
Jervis gave no reply as Barton moved to change his shirt; blinking hard as he gazed down at the floor, but the darkness behind his eyelids refused to stay empty. Flecks of indigo light bloomed in the black, shifting like dust motes that twisted with each beat of his heart. The room swam as he opened his eyes again, the ceiling blurred and murky like the styrofoam cup Alice stored her wet paintbrushes in. He scratched absently at the IV in his arm, feeling the tug of the thin plastic embedded in his skin but barely registering the discomfort. The bright pinpricks danced at the edges of his vision, trailing like little comets whenever he turned his head.
“You ought to be proud of him, I imagine. Your son… he seems like a good lad.” Jervis’ voice was a wisp of silk, smooth and thin, like it might unravel into nothing if he spoke too loudly. He tilted his head slightly, almost resembling a marionette on a slack string, the hint of a smile touching his lips but never quite reaching his eyes. He ran a finger along the rim of his teacup, the motion delicate and deliberate as he pondered Barton’s final query.
“Hmm… can you?” Gray eyes blinked slowly, the lids heavy and sluggish, further dragged down by fatigue. The question lingered in the air, softly innocuous. He glanced over at the tarot cards Jack left behind on the desk—arranged in a rough, careless spread, but somehow feeling deliberate, as though the cards had fallen exactly where they were meant to. The edges were worn, curling slightly; the images esoteric, half-familiar symbols. Stars, sun, moon, cups and swords, animals and human figures rendered in faded colors.
He paused, gaze narrowing, subtly curious despite the exhaustion that weighed down his expression. For a moment, his hand tightened around his teacup; twitched like he might reach out and touch them, as if by brushing the surface he could glean some hidden answer buried beneath the painted ink.
‘Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all.’
His grip on the blanket slipped momentarily, fumbling at the worn edge before he reached for his collar instead. He dug beneath the charcoal fabric of his T-shirt, searching with a practiced motion until his fingers found the tarnished silver chain again. He drew it out slowly, the weight of it comforting against his skin as he absently ran his thumb over his and Sylvie’s rings, threaded side by side on the links.
The metal was dull, no longer shining with the luster it once had, but it carried a certain softness now, smoothed by years of worry. His eyes dropped for a second before he let the chain slip back beneath his shirt. “By all means, if it tickles your fancy…” Jervis gave a short, rough half-shrug, the motion stunted as though his shoulder couldn’t quite decide whether to follow through.
#divingdownthehole#tw: grief.#tw: mentions of death.#tw: mentions of child death.#tw: negative thoughts.#OOH you used a quote from alice in wonderland in here? that is epic NGL though i don't think i know which one you used ahahhh#and AWW well gosh... you're going to make me blush now <33 but thank you so SO much for saying so + i just want you to know#that i enjoy writing with you a lot myself! but yeahhh i feel as if barton is a lot more quote unquote 'subdued' here than usual#but it kind of makes sense because this man hates being in the warehouse probably just as much as jervis honestly (': and with#everything that went on regarding the picture he found. all i can say to that is GAHHH but you're good!! don't even worry about it#i totally understand as i know i took a bit to reply to this one though that's just 'cause i want to give you the best quality reply#possible + sometimes i don't have much time to sit down and write but i did today tehe!!! but really? oh my gosh thank you VERY much-#for all of your kind words! it really means a lot to me that you not just like the little things i've put into his character but love them#;; like i don't even know what to say besides that makes me feel so happy!! but geezzz you're making me turn bright red like a tomato over#here now and simultaneously going to make me hashtag cry in the club. just the fact that he's fascinating to you is like... everything a#writer like me could dream of y'know? and i return the same feelings ten-fold because jervis is just SO interesting that i feel#like i can't get enough of roleplaying with your version of him (': but JSJSJ well alrighttt i'll try not to worry about the muse versus mu#thing then since you're being so sweet. and i thank you once more for that BUT 😭 THIS IS ME RN because you're also my bestie and-#being called a ray of sunshine is? possibly one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me?? so i'm giving you a big hug right now-#and letting you know i think you are an incredible human being. but yeahhh there's a UHHH whole terrible story behind that-#unfortunately but i'm just going to boil it down to: yves died and barton sought to essentially make him be a 'part' of him because#he actually has no idea how to healthily move on from... most relationships 🫠 so he decided to do something TOTALLY normal-#and replace one of his arms with yves's (sarcasm) but TBH i have to say i wouldn't even blame you if you weren't joking about that-#because this man is seriously WILDING for that. like barton is absolutely 100 percent not okay no matter what he tries to tell other#muses 💀
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bykshre · 3 months ago
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We Found Love
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charles leclerc x female reader (smau) 1/2
summary: you and charles were meant to be together even if the media, society and his girlfriend criticized you.
trope: childhood friends to lovers, ferrari driver x head strategist , mean gf (no hate to any of charles' gf's, ex or current.)
a/n: i know i know im the worst updater and writer ever (I'm sorry okay 😭 I'm busy and I lose motivation lol)but im back slowly but surely, and this is so new! My first F1 fic aahh :D This is very small, I just needed to get this out (monza took my heart away!) hope y'all like it hehe xx.
Months before MONZA
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ursernames
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life lately - enjoying the break before it's Monza ❤️‍🔥🌷🌺🌠🪽🥨🍽️🪡⌨️👠💎
iked by charles_leclerc,mlnmarta, and 1M others
lewishamilton looks like someone had fun!
⤷ ursernames obviously mate 🧉!!
charles_leclerc wannabe artistic ass 😘😻🤡
⤷ ursernames shut up donkey 🐴🫏😊
kikagomez 💫💗
liked by author
@Ynniequeenn
I'm surprised Charles isn't spending the vacay with her. Sounds fishy but they still act close 😕. I don't know man.
⤷ @chrshls: people like you suck! get a life.
charles_leclerc
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everything is good 🩵
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, ursername and 4M others
joristrouche amazing!
ursernames leooo awwww
liked by author
pierregasly simba and leo meetup soon? 😂
⤷ charles_leclerc soon!
alexandrasaintmleux amores <3
liked by author
ursernames
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thank you for the wishes everyone, just took another lap around the earth 🌍 🌷🌺🩵
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz and 5M others.
formula_1 happy birthday to the best-ever strategist!
liked by author
scuderiaferrari buon compleanno stargirl!
⤷ ursernames grazie mille!
charles_leclerc joyeux anniversaire ma meilleure fille
liked by author
mlnmarta joyeux anniversaire ma soeur
⤷ usernames 💞💞
oscarpiastri have a great day old lady 🥳
⤷ ursername when i catch you oscar when i bloody catch you! 😵😵
f1wags&insiders
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BREAKING 🚨 Charles Leclerc and Alexandra Saint Mluex were fighting at a party! Apparently, it was the same birthday party held for Y/N's 27th birthday. What are your thoughts 💭?
liked by 40K others
alexfp i just can't stand this anymore! It's clear that something's up with charles 😐
leclecice bro, alex is straight up toxic just admit it she is NOT a paddock queen neither the IT wag ughh 🥱🥱
lestappenfpp time for charles WDC lesgoo
ynstan will charles and yn ever date? they have that CHEMISTRY yk
malenalexx it's definitely something to do with charles
⤷ unknownchaaa smartest alex fan..
ynstrategyss literally how crazy can Alex even get until they fuck up yns birthday party?! seriously i lost my respect for her.
alexandrasaintmluex
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🌺🌺 floral vibes 🌺🌺
liked by joristrouche and 100K others
alexfp omg our queen 👑!!
foralexa hi alexx i hope you're doing well ❤️‍🩹 you look gorgeous btw 🤩
liked by author
kikagomez 💫😵⭐
rebeccadonaldson literally so pretty 🌺🌺
⤷ alexandrasaintmluex says the prettiest!
charlesfanpage charles not in the likes? sus.
leclecicecreammm someone's tryna churn content asap b4 the breakup LOLL
⤷ alexandrasaintmluex you're hilarious. 🥱
ynstrategyss hope y'all okay...
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
2 weeks before Monza, at the Ferrari HQ
"Hey, can we talk, please?" Charles asked Yn as the meeting begun to wrap up.
"What do you want, Charles? Does making me look like a fool on my birthday not enough?!" You said very honestly.
"No,no, mon cher, listen to me."
"I'm sorry for whatever Alex caused during your birthday party. I wanted the party to be nice and surrounded by your close friend's and family. I'm regretful I chose to bring Alex as a tag along. She wanted to go and I can't say no anyways."
"What's your point, Charles? I'm tired of this drama. I am." You said,
"Yn, we've been friends since so young, we spent almost every day with eachother, basically inseparable. Maman practically consideres you her the daughter she never had and you're really close to my family and brothers. Even with my exes you had a close bond with them."
"Mhm, that's right I loved your exes." You said slightly smiling,
"Ever since I dated Alex, she.... she liked fame and attention. Even if she didn't show it much. And when she saw us being close and basically just friends, she got mad and jealous. I didn't realise much until you told me when she confronted you."
"She reads a lot of the news, tweets and those tiktok edits of us that is all over social media. She is influenced by them. And I honestly don't get how they consider our bond romantic but not platonic."
"Alex has been fighting a lot with me past few months. We are not close, anymore. Not liked we used to be. She's constantly screaming and I can't stand her anymore."
"Mon ange, whatever happens with you and her, please... just tell me. I saw the texts she sent you and it wasn't pleasant. Why have you been keeping this a secret. Please ange, don't do it anymore."
"I don't know how longer I can sustain this relationship if it continues to be as toxic as this." Charles said earning a pout from you.
" Charlie, I wanted to see you happy with Alex. I'm sorry about what's been happening at home. I'm sorry too.." you said,
" Are we good?"
"Yeah we are, Charlie" you said, earning a tight hug from you best friend.
It's undeniable that you've always liked Charles. He was handsome, he was everything a women could've dreamt of. And obviously you're one of them. You'd never had the chance to confess and you think you'd never will. It's better to blossom a good, sustainable friendship rather than risking it all for a relationship. Your a simple person, you're critical and realistic.
When Alex confronted you about your relationship with Charles, it hit you till the pit of your heart. You begun thinking if you were too clingy or romantic with Charles. You begun distancing yourself from him thinking you were at fault. You did not want to be a homewrecker,ever.
Although Charles confrontation settled a little of your thoughts, you cannot deny the growing feelings for Charles in that heart of yours.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
charles_leclerc
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P4. Deluso ma abbiamo dato tutto. Grazie a tutti voi per esserci sempre. E domani, andiamoooooo 😍
liked by carlossainz,oscarpiastri, ursername and 3M others
ursername let's get it ✨✨
speedingcharles we counting on u buddy
anthoinetrouchet let's get it ittttttttt aaa
alexandrasaintmluex 💕
ursername
story, 1hr ago
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feels great to back in monza! hoping to make tifosi's proud this weekend 🇮🇹 Let's see what we can do with a P4 and P5.
RACE DAY IN MONZA.
⭐⭐⭐
@F1LiveUpdates:
"Lights out at Monza! Charles Leclerc is in the fight for P1, but all eyes are on Ferrari’s strategy today. Y/N calling the shots 👀 #Monza #CharlesLeclerc #Ferrari"
@LeclercFans:
"Y/N on the pit wall, looking like a boss. Monza is hers to win 🔥 #YN #FerrariFam"
Your heart raced as you watched the battle unfold in front of your eyes. Charles was in second, fighting tooth and nail to close the gap on the leader. Your freshly manicured nails hovered over the radio button, ready to call the next move.
The crowd roared in the background, but your focus was razor-sharp. Charles trusted your instincts, and you wasn’t about to let him down.
Y/N (over radio):
"Box, box. Let’s go for the undercut."
Charles
"Copy. Trusting you on this."
The team jumped into action as Charles pitted. Y/N watched with bated breath, hoping the strategy would pay off.
As Charles emerged from the pits, your hands clenched into a fist. The timing was perfect. They had nailed it. It will take time to pass through lando but it'll be worth it. And you knew it.
Y/N (over radio):
"P1. 35 laps ahead. Now hold it. You’ve got this."
The crowd was deafening as the final lap approached. You stood with her arms crossed, staring at the screens, barely blinking. Charles had a three-second lead, but the pressure was immense. Your heart pounded in time with the roar of the engines.
Y/N (over radio):
"Last lap, Charles. Bring it home."
You held her breath as the checkered flag waved and the roar from the grandstands signaled what you'd hoped for.
Charles (over radio):
"We did it! P1! We won, Y/N!"
Bryan (over radio)
"AND P1!"
@F1Live:
"Leclerc takes P1 at Monza! What a race! Ferrari fans are going wild! #CharlesLeclerc #Monza"
@FerrariFans:
"Y/N’s strategy today was perfection. Absolute genius. 🔥 #TeamYN #Ferrari"
@LeclercNation:
"Y/N hugging Charles after that win? Yeah, there’s something there. No one can convince me otherwise. #CharlesAndYN"
charles_leclerc
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Siete i numeri 1, Forza Ferrari ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
liked by ursername,alexandrasaintmluex, lewishamilton and 10M others
ursername congrats charliee <3
liked by author
⤷ charles_leclerc couldn't done it without you, yn 😘
formula_1 tifosi's pride and joy
lewishamilton enjoy the win mate! great job
oscarpiastri congrats charles!
pascale_leclerc my boy
liked by author
⤷charles_leclerc i didnt leave you at the gransdstands this time 😂
ursername
story, 2h ago
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FEVER DREAM!! GRAZIE GRAZIE TUTTI MILLE!
@LeclercNation:
"Alexandra needs to chill. Y/N is just doing her job. She’s a strategist, not a homewrecker! #TeamYN"
formula_1
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leo meets his papa who just won the italian grand prix! lovely family at sight 🐕🐶🐾
liked by mlnmarta,alexandrasaintmluex and 2M others
alexfp ahh the cutiess, though she wasn't here but mah queen is always here to shine
alexandrasaintmluex 😍
lecleccreamss since when did F1 turn into a wag thing. Seriously F1? This content is unnecessary!
alexandramyqueen omg our couple is back yayyy
mimosahater @F1Dramaa post. look at this post.
@F1Drama:
"Rumors are flying that Y/N and Alexandra had a heated argument in the Ferrari garage. How much longer can this triangle last? #CharlesLeclerc #YN"
@FerrariInsider:
"It’s getting messy. Y/N is too professional to get involved, but Alexandra seems to be on edge. #F1Gossip #FerrariDrama"
@LeclercNation:
"Y/N is just trying to do her job, but Alex is clearly feeling threatened. Charles needs to step up. #TeamYN"
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
You were packing up in the garage, getting reading to back to the hotel, when Alexandra appeared at the doorway. She looked calm, but there was a fire in her eyes.
"We need to talk." Alex said
You set down your notes, bracing yourself. You replied, "About what?"
"About Charles. About you."
"I’m just doing my job, Alexandra. If you think I’m trying to come between you two, you’re wrong."
Alexandra crossed her arms, stepping closer. "I don’t know if I believe that. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. I’m not stupid!"
Your jaw clenched. "You’re right. You’re not stupid. But you’re also insecure. And that’s not my problem. I’m here because I’m good at what I do, and Charles knows that."
"Insecure?" Alexandra’s voice was laced with venom. "Do you have any idea what it’s like watching him put you before me over and over again?"
"He doesn’t put me before you, Alexandra. He’s just focused on his career. If you can’t handle that, maybe the problem isn’t me. Maybe it’s your relationship."
Alexandra stared at you, her expression hardening. "You think you’re so untouchable, don’t you? That because you’re the team strategist, you’re safe. But I see the way you want him."
You took a deep breath, stepping forward. "If you’re so sure about that, then maybe you should talk to Charles instead of blaming me."
"Look here, Charles just won the Italian grandprix. It's a big celebration for team. Let's be happy for the win, instead of bringing this up, now."
"Have a great day, Alexandra" you said and left the paddock without any hesitation.
ursername
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thank you bryan, charles, carlos, fred and the team for making this strategy happen! to our biggest supporters, the tifosi ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 6M others
lewishamilton absolutely fantastic strategy yn, you made it happen 👑👑
⤷ ursername i absolutely cannot wait for you to get on this team any longer!! tysm lewis, really appreciate it 💕💕💫
charles_leclerc tu as réalisé mon plus grand rêve, merci ma belle stratège, ma meilleure amie bien-aimée 🥇🥇🥳🥳❤️❤️❤️
⤷ ursername you were behind the wheel, you make us all dream mon rêveur, mon soleil 🩷🩷
mlnmarta such a shame i wasn't able to witness this but again, ma petite sœur, tu nous fais tous rêver 🥹
⤷ ursername tu aimes me faire pleurer 🥹❤️
After the Azerbaijan Grand Prix
charles_leclerc
story, 2m ago
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Part 2 when?
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romanfucker · 1 year ago
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The alpha series is genuinely mind-blowing, I've read both parts like 10 times already. Something about Mencken worrying a bit about his cardiovascular health got me soo!!!! Just something about him being so vulnerable with his obsession/love/lust for Roman and thus allowing us to see him vulnerable everywhere else. He's an old man! He thinks Roman is obviously beautiful! He buys Roman clothes! He has regular health check ups and regular health concerns for a man his age! It's all so argsgsgdhhdh idek where I'm going with this, but something about him being human, with the small glimpses of shame he can utilise, but still feels relative to his position, his base and his affair with Roman, when we usually only see him from Roman's view as an all-seeing, perfectly cool Patriarch-God is so tasty.
Also, I think Roman mentions in the first part that he's Menckens 2nd favourite thing (when he's trying to get his attention to tell him he's preggers) relative to the history docu, but in the second part, Mencken says that kissing Roman is his favourite act and I just think that sums it all up! Roman is fine with being number two, but obviously wants to be more. Mencken can admit to himself that Roman is his number one, but not actually say it to Roman, so they're constantly in an unbalanced system. Mencken knows what he is to Roman, what Roman is to him, but Roman only knows what Mencken is to him, not what he is to Mencken.
I need more mencken pov, you've given me a taste for it along with Canines and Of Hunger Deprived. Holy triumvirate of fics that allow us to see Jeryd as more than an object for Roman to project his desires and his idiosyncrasies onto (which I am completely cool with btw. I am always team objectify old men). He's a twisted man, but still a man with layers and I wanna bury myself in between them. Thank you so so so so soooooo much for your work. Priceless scholarship in the romencken school 🫡 this ask is a mess but *Roman noises* ok thanks bye 👍
hey!!!!! i'm sorry this took like a week to answer. i'm not being hyperbolic when i say this is my favorite ask i've ever recieved and i've read it like. probably 20+ times
so. fanfiction - especially horny fanfic - is just fanfiction, and i get that. but writing is something that is a huge part of my life + deeply rewarding hobby that i haven't been able to meaningfully participate in since this year, for a multitude of reasons.
(if you look at my a03 account - i published 3 fics in 2014/2015 and then nothing again until 2023. i wasn't writing under a different pseud or working on original stuff. aside from university assignments, i did not write for 9 years.)
so when i write my silly little stories, in which i choose my words/pacing/details very deliberately, and then people send me messages like this that show not only enjoyment but also active engagement and that they paid attention to my details and liked them - well.
it's just about enough to make a grown man cry!
alpha couple series on a03
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icarusredwings · 4 months ago
Text
Thinking about how adaptive Logan is and how he can quite physically tell the difference between people even if they look identical by chemical scent alone.
With being around Wade so much, do you ever think he just gets a whiff of a stranger and turns to Wade like "Hey.. I think... they have cancer."
For a second, he thinks he's mocking him, but the look of seriousness on his face makes him frown and is like, "Holy shit.. Wait, you can smell cancer?? What are you like a cancer dog?"
"Shut up, im serious."
"Wait for real? Are you sure it's just not old lady perfume?"
"I-i think so...?? ....Should.... should I tell her? Oh man.. how do I tell a stranger that they have a horrible disease?"
Wades is about to make a joke but decides not to, remembering how life ruining it was to sit there and stare at vanessa as the doctor sounded like charlie browns parents.
"... where is it?"
"I don't know. I just.. I think maybe in the top bit? What would I even say? Hey, im a super smelling mutant, and I think you have breast cancer."
".. yes."
"Really?"
"You have to tell her... She'll get scared if I tell her."
So he does. Awkwardly comes up to this woman and explains some bullshit how he was 'born with super smells' and how he believes she might have some form of cancer. That- if she acts early enough- they might be able to beat it.
For some reason, the woman cries and tells him how this would make sense because shes felt sick the last couple of weeks and had no clue why. That she'll make an appointment as soon as possible. "Thank you."
Logan is left with a warm feeling in his chest, and smiles lopsided as she goes about her day.
Wade is left feeling both envious and proud at the same time. No, there wasn't a wolverine to warn him of his sickness, but this doesn't mean they can't help others.
So from then on, sniffing becomes an automatic reflex, sniffing all the kids at the mansion, class by class, every teacher, anyone he possibly can. It breaks his heart when he finds one. Everyone holds their breath, hoping he doesn't, but sometimes he does. He always cries afterward.
You know those drug/ weapon dog searches that schools sometimes have? Yeah that's bassically what happens except he pops a head in, says a quick "clear" and goes to the next room. Its real terrifying when he actually comes into the room and starts walking around.
This being said. If you're sneaking drugs into the school? You better be tight with Mr. Howlett, or he's turning you in to Mrs. Munroe.
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mr-jack-letterman · 2 months ago
Text
We need more young stan content out here.
And nah I ain't talking about 12 year old Stanley or 30 year old mullet Stan, I'm talking 17 year old, slicked back hair, acne riddled Stan pines.
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Yeah that one.
I am so happy mullet Stan is so popular because his fit slaps ngl and the angst is so potent I can't not respect it. But teenage Stan has so much potential it's driving me insane.
There is a line dividing the 17 years of relative happiness Stan had with Ford and the 10+ years of depression and crime he had on the streets, and teenage Stan uses that line as a goddamn jump rope.
Seriously, depending on how you look at it dude is either living his best life or is fighting for said life in the trenches of homelessness and poverty.
I see a lot of content regarding Stan on the streets but it only ever focuses on 30ish Stan in his later years of homelessness where he's already a hardened adult after years of dealing with this bullshit. But Stan didn't just drive away and then magically turn 30. There were times in those first few months after Stan got kicked out where he was in his car, trying to sleep, probably starving, while still being fundamentally a child.
Hell, compared to the 30ish age of mullet Stan and the 60+ year old con man he'd later become, teenage Stan is damn near a baby. There's a certain brightness about him, a sort of warm naive optimism that still clings to him because he's straight up just too young to know any better.
He's still fully convinced he's gonna make it rich and go back to his family in a few years. He still believes wholeheartedly that even if shit sucks right now, eventually everything is gonna be okay. It has to be. But it's not gonna be okay. It's not gonna be okay for a long time. And some parts are just never gonna be okay.
Seeing a happy and oblivious teenage Stan feels like watching a baby lamb walk into a slaughter house.
The next 10-something years are going to tear him apart limb from limb. In 40 years he's going to wake up on a boat during a bout of amnesia thinking he's in Columbian prison, or he's locked in the trunk of a car and about to drown, or his shoulder is on fire and his brother is gone, or it's the end of the world and everyone he ever dared to give a shit about is about to die in front of him and it's all his fault because he was too weak to stop it.
At some point, a young Stanley is going to get into his first true life or death fight. He doesn't even have to be involved with crime yet for it to happen. He's probably bruised and bleeding, with not nearly enough money to afford a doctor. He's sitting in the driver's seat of his El Diablo having a complete and utter break down because he almost died and suddenly everything is real.
Nothing is okay, absolutely nothing is going to be okay and whatever is left of his teenage innocence, naivety, and warmth dies in that car and it never comes back.
The next 10+ years are going to fundamentally change Stanley as a person and he's never going to be the same ever again. But teenage Stan doesn't know that, he's still a kid trying to sleep in the back of his car, ignoring hunger pangs and finding comfort in the half baked business ideas his mind cooks up because he doesn't understand how utterly done for he is.
12 year old Stanley I believe is so appealing because of his bright rambunctious spirit. He's still just a kid playing on the beach with his brother, but so was teenage Stan. I just wish the wholesomeness that comes with that and the subsequent hurt that follows as that spirit is broken over and over again by the world was explored more.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
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