#SEEKING ANY INPUT TBH

[shatterthefragments]

Oof may have fucked up the left thigh reapplication (again) but yet again I am. Hoping to hell it’s okay.

(It’s. Perhaps. A bit stretched weirdly under the saniderm again. But. I shall maintain hope). (I am trying so hard to NOT hit 10k steps a day I am trying to rest as much as possible. (I had work then school after and work for six days.). I feel like I’m chafing even through the film :()

Plus I have my “skin issues” appt with my doctor tomorrow. So. If it is infected I’m sure she’ll be able to help me.

[beezlebubs-art]

(DO NOT HARRAS THIS PERSON, JUST IGNORE THEM. ALSO GARTIC PHONE THING WASN'T THEM)

Piacere, space, whatever you go by, you said you wouldn't mention anyone from this, or at least that was what the deal was, I hope you were told about it. We'd not mention you, as long as you wouldn't mention us. But you did, so a new callout post with new points, people defending you don't really do a good job. TLDR: they blame everything on mental health, takes little fault for hurting people because of said mental issues, vents to people decently younger than them constantly, and they demand boundaries, but get extremely upset when anyone asks for them to do so for them.

NOTE I didn't directly see any of this, I'm doing this to defend my friends because, no offense, they are kinda letting themselves get walked all over. If anything is wrong please tell me. Do not harass anyone in this situation, no one deserves it.

First up a recap on the first situation with a new moral because talking to your friend made it more obvious what the issue was, you blaming mental health. My friends silver and JJ banned someone from wheezle's easel for in their mind being toxic, the other mods including piacere and their friends didn't feel the person was that bad, but instead of voicing that they went on a rant at how they were never listened to. Even when given an opportunity to unban the person piacere went on about not being listened to while actively ignoring their attempts at giving them an input. They caused my friends to have anxiety attacks and cry, yes they apologized, but only after saying my friends were horrible people. I don't know how you go from that to sorry in a few days and mean that apology. Proof under this, and another situation and perspectives of other people on them.

Now for the new situation i heard of, they were in my friend's server, velon's, and they'd do their constant venting. They were asked to not mention suicide so often and got really upset. More stuff must have happened because like, everyone there says how they would make them super stressed out with how often they'd beg for attention and do things like make sex jokes with people who were uncomfortable with it. Here's people's opinions on it and also i'd check out Typhoonclade's post on them here for more opinions.

Generally they'd vent everywhere around like 16-18 year olds as an almost 20 year old. they'd constantly cry about not getting attention while they got a lot of attention from at least half the active members in our server. And also a lot of weird sexual stuff that granted is hearsay to me but tbhI don't care anymore, there's no way two unrelated people have similar stories. Here's some other stuff of them being mean about people and attention seek-y I have.

Piacere, you won't read this tbh, but just get off the internet, its clear you can't handle it, and you hurt people, for everyone's good, please just get offline. I know real life sucks for you, you'd say it a lot man, but its not an excuse to hurt people who aren't doing anything to you. Just, idk what you should do, other than leave the wider internet.

[gemmahale]

Here's the thing. I'm in a red state, in a county that went red.

I knew that when I moved out here four years ago. (Yes, it was April 2020 and no, I do not recommend moving during a global pandemic.) I accepted that that would be part of it. I made my peace with it, and I do what I can to mitigate the effects.

I'm not scared for me (minus the bodily autonomy thing since my state now has a 12 week abortion ban, and the general fuckery of facists in power) because tbh, I'm white and cis-het passing.

I'm nonbinary and bisexual. Can't tell any of that unless I tell you, and I don't make it well well known. I use she/her at work, wear skirts and dresses, and respond to Mrs/Ms Gemma or Hale (actually folks use my legal first or last name 😉); though Dr. is preferred if I get the choice.

I fly under the radar as a quirky white woman. I'm relatively "protected."

In the wake of the election results rolling out, I'm apprehensive for:

Kallen, who is white-passing Cherokee and a disabled veteran. I've been party to how he's treated differently than I am - by the same checker at the store not more than 5 minutes apart. He moved out here after I established my career, so he had little to no input of where we moved to (other than "I want to be with you.")

My coworkers who already face harassment for being POC in the community (including foreign exchange students that come to do part of their PhD here because of the proximity to the university system). People have been chased out of their positions here due to the racism they've experienced.

My coworkers who would seek to have an abortion (I'm included in this myself).

The LGBTQ+ community here (remember - I'm not out out).

The immigrant and POC communities here

And folks beyond my immediate viscinity

A lot of the community operates on a "mind your shit" basis. But I have to look people in the eye with Trump 2024 caps on and answer their questions politely. I have to drive by trucks with religious bumper stickers and greet them and give them scientifically sound information.

I wanted to believe in a world that valued competency and skill; and then I remember: I was the only one that applied to this job in the boondocks, and we've struggled to get positions filled out here. And I know part of it is not because of the low cost of living or lack of proximity to major shopping centers/social options. 🙃

I'm poking around into what local groups I can get into and donate my time to. My job puts me in direct access with food security resources, so that's probably where I'll start. Perhaps tie into the LGBTQ community because I know there's an active group out here. (I want to get more involved in the community anyway.)

I have to swallow this fear I have of being connected to causes while in my position. Yes, my employer is technically neutral ground, but that doesn't mean I have to be. I am allowed to be civically involved, as long as I make it clear when I am working in a work capacity (branded gear, name tag, etc.) and as a private citizen.

I admittedly got spooked when I received a few letters (to my private address, mind you) stating that I was a poor representative of my institution because I didn't maintain my yard like I should when I first started. (It was a whole thing and got escalated up higher than it needed to and yeah. I still have those letters in my office.)

But folks are starting to know me, and I'm starting to know them too. I need to cast this fear I have aside and be true to my values - accessibility, inclusivity, equity, and justice.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Hi! I just want to say I really love your work especially Yves bro- I don’t careee bro is my number one ☝️

I can’t stop re reading every work about him it’s getting insane I love it

But- like you can Ignore this completely if you don’t take requests anymore

I was thinking about you said that’s Yves knows the readers body down to the T- and also how he can pick up on everything well..

How would he be when him and reader first meet and reader is getting comfortable with platonic affection with Yves, but readers body constantly cracks and make popping noise every time they bend any joints- like their knees, elbow and back cracking every single time. It doesn’t hurt the reader bros body is just stiff very stiffy

I can just imagine Yves cringing a small bit every time he hears the pop or crack, and trying to hold himself back from being your own chiropractor because you two just started to talk. Bro probably has an arsenal of herbs and (drugs) that will help loosen your body tbh

ANYWAYS- I love Yves please keep posing about him 🫶

Who's to say he wouldn't spike your meals with the much needed supplements and drugs? Even before your official meeting with him? Yves is as quiet as a mouse when sneaking around and he is unbelievably proficient in trespassing private spaces undetected.

It could even be years before you two officially met, perhaps on the day where you locked eyes with him, your joints would be well-lubricated and silent.

But then, he could have just let the clacks fester as a part of some grand plan of his to win you over.

Yves has a knack for making people cower before his presence, yet they desperately try to get his approval. Perhaps, on day one, he would have commented on the stiffness and sounds. Expressing his concern over that as a decent person, wanting to know the parameters around it so he could do everything in his power to help.

You would be embarrassed, yes. But upon hearing that he has a strong background in orthopedics, you might think his input is valuable. Or maybe not, you could be offended over it and begin clamming up around him.

It doesn't matter, the end is always the same: somehow you would consent to him feeling you up as your personal chiropractor, it could be sooner or later in the relationship. Regardless of whether you're as pliant as a piece of clay, or as stubborn as a mule, Yves will successfully feed you whatever drugs he thinks is good for you.

And you will be grateful, because you would have noticed a dramatic improvement compared to the state before you met him. You can move, you can bend and you can stretch without feeling like a wooden plank. This will subconsciously associate Yves with this healer figure, just like how he wants you to see him.

You wouldn't realize it if no one is actively pointing it out, but you will automatically seek him out if anything bothers you in your life.

Every step he takes is a deliberate one with a role to play. Never brush the smallest touch or the most inconsequential of words as "just something that he does" or underestimate Yves simply because he appears human.

Everything has a purpose. You are lucky that you are the love of his life, his light and his reason for his clandestine data vault.

'Hell' would be a gross understatement when it comes to describing your life if you were Yves's enemy.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Thoughts?

https://www.tumblr.com/miraculouslbcnreactions/755012092183117824/hey-there-what-do-you-think-of-the-show-pulling-a?source=share

so within universe

The reason that they had Alix leave was because Monarch's last use of the Dog Miraculous had been to tag the Rabbit. If the Rabbit is in the same time as him, he can just use Fetch to recall it.

Now, I do think there may be alternate solutions. Such as giving the Rabbit to Future!Alix to keep safe. But you could argue some timestream nonsense of her trying to hold onto two Rabbit Miraculous.

So I can kinda roll with the bullshit. And as much as I joke 'they had to get Alix out because she's the class's one brain cell and wouldn't let shit get this bad', her being here or not really wouldn't have changed things because everyone's wild this season she'd be swept up in the class hivemind and not be able to argue logic outside of a snarky comment.

Now on the whole, ML is.... a hot mess with its Time Travel rules. There's One True Timeline, but also things can go fucky on that timeline without any outside input changing it, but also there's alternate timelines, but also the world can be rewritten by the Wish, and so on and so forth.

So they try to give a 'the Rabbit can't interfere because this is how it's supposed to go', but also she can interfere as she wants and we're going to make this setup so she can't anyway.

Really they need to hammer out more solid rules for the Rabbit and Timelines and stick to it, but when has this show ever done that?

Gabe suddenly caring more about beating Ladybug than saving Emilie /could/ work, even with his previously-established character through Season 1-3, as it's a sign of him spiraling down into madness and focusing more on 'winning' than fixing things or seeing the Wish as the only way to fix things even when handed other options. But Season 4-5 Gabriel doesn't have this character trait anymore and supposedly never did because *gestures to the retcons with the sentikids plot*.

I will give a point on the 'Nathalie didn't /see/ Gabe choose fighting LB over saving Emilie' bit. She shouldn't know that he did that. I can only assume that she guessed by the fact that like. Gabriel was with her in the present, and said that he was going to go back and save Emilie, but somehow failed. But there's no way that Ladybug would've been waiting to lay a trap for him in a time where he'd be able to save Emilie because LB doesn't know who he is or what he wants. Gabriel would've had to seek out Ladybug for her to get the drop on him again.

Overall.....

Yeah I do think that the team of 18/19 Heroes is a LOT. I try to balance it in my fics but tbh if I were to go back and make ML from scratch I think I'd cap it at half of that.

And with the Rabbit in particular, it needs some rules in place to keep it from being overpowered. The initial premise of a 'One True Ever-Retconning Timeline™, therefore it can only interfere when something causes it to diverge' is totally fine, as long as they stick to it! This would mean cutting the Shadybug Special, and giving an explaination for why things diverged in Chat Blanc, but I'm fine with that!

[thedreadvampy]

I really am very glad that I was raised with Quakerism.

like I'm not a Heftily Practicing Quaker (in that I'm not a Member or even a regular Attender at any meeting, largely bc Edinburgh Meeting is a really unwelcoming one imo and also bc I'm. Spiritually lazy.) but the spiritual and philosophical underpinnings of Quakerism are a good fit for the sort of person I am. I haven't found another religion that meets what I'm looking for in a faith community, and I don't think it would have occurred to me to seek Quakerism out if I wasn't already familiar with it. and honestly like Quaker Meetings and the Quaker approach to silence and community have given me the space where I've had some very potent religious experiences and I might have had that elsewhere but I also don't know that I would have been in the state of mind to accept it as readily.

it's got the level of seeking discomforting truth that I think is personally important for me in religion. I think faith should be discomforting as much as comforting. I think your faith should challenge you constantly.

there definitely are a lot of people who build their own Quaker orthodoxies, but on paper Quakerism is anti-dogmatic and anti-orthodox, and it's very clear on treating religion as something adaptive and open to change based on new information and I think that's vital. I think it's incredibly important to be able to constantly question why you're doing something and if it's spiritual truth or just communal inertia. "Consider it possible that you may be mistaken" is a banger of an Advice.

I also think the Testimonies are phenomenal guides for living in faith (those are the guiding principles of Truth, Justice, Simplicity, Peace and Sustainability). like. I had a really interesting conversation with my Muslim friend a while back about how his faith called him to obedience and mine calls me to I guess stubbornness? a guiding push to speak up and to question? and for me that's because of the Testimonies. because peace requires justice, and justice requires truth, and truth requires a willingness to both speak and listen and not to avoid conflict. Frameworks like plain speaking (not talking around things to smooth things over) are really valuable.

Something I take from Quakerism particularly that I end up talking a lot to people about is discernment. I think there's something about the nature of a community like Quakers where everyone's input is significant but silence is important that allowed me to cultivate my sense of what WANTS to be said vs what NEEDS to be said. George Fox calls it the "still small voice". To me it's also what "quaking before God" (which is where the name comes from) looks like. I know I need to speak or act because it forces its way through me against my will with a force that leaves me shaking and crying. I tend not to give ministry in Meeting unless I'm shaking like a leaf, because if I'm not then it doesn't need to be said. That to me is what "being moved by the Spirit to speak" means, and I take that learning out of Meeting and into my regular life. cause like in a difficult conversation or a difficult situation or for example in work or activism, I can recognise that same moving to speak and if that's there then I know it's important. it's like a feeling that you Are Going To do this uncomfortable hard thing however much you don't want to because it has to happen. and tbh that's guided me extremely well through my life, as has the question of discernment more broadly, which opens up the way to saying, like, "is this about what I want or about what would be right to do?"

I think in general this idea that living in faith should be a constant process of questioning, of failure and learning, of trying to tease out what's right from a personal conversation with yourself and the world, and if leaning into discomfort, is really vital to me. the importance of mediation and listening and understanding peace and justice as active, living processes involving accepting conflict and working to resolve it is really important to me. the construction of a religious community led by creating space to both speak and listen - to yourself, to each other, to God, to the world around you, to the community as a whole - rather than by a rigid set of rules to interpret, that's the most vital thing to me. religion without human authority. a collective search for truth where we can all feed in from the facets of the world each of us see.

(it helps, for me, that while I have many political disagreements within Quaker communities, as in any community, Quakerism a) recognises action in the world as being a part of living in faith and b) is largely on the sound side imo - certainly in the UK, although it's very white, old, middle class and not free of TERFs, it skews left, anti-war, pro-equality, pro-bodily autonomy, pro-LGBTQ, and generally ends up on the right side of history (made more space for women than many 17th century religious groups; major voices for abolition in the 18th century; big on worker's rights and prison reform in the 19th century; have been involved in mediation and direct support in anti-colonial conflicts like Ireland and Palestine; big in CND and disarmament campaigns; one of the biggest religious bodies in the UK to make a unilateral call for marriage equality). it also helps for me that a major thread in Quaker political history is the Fuck Authority streak - from refusing to recognise royal authority to refusing to back down when threatened. A lot of Christian groups have a left/progressive fringe which is involved in this kind of action - in prison reform or abortion, in gay rights, in disarmament and anti-colonialist work, etc - but I think I've not really seen many other religious groups where that's the central/mainstream position.)

like idk I think I'm very lucky. Obviously growing up around Quakerism has contributed somewhat to me thinking of it this way and to how I frame my own religious life but like. idk. I feel like I'm Christian purely by an accident of birth - because I was born in a culturally Christian family and region, that's the framework that I have available to me to help understand my personal religious experiences. If I had the same spiritual experiences but I was raised culturally Buddhist or Hindu or Zoroastrian then I would frame that numinosity through a Buddhist or Hindu or Zoroastrian lens. Not to sound wanky, but to me almost all religions are equally meaningful but equally limited attempts to parse contact with the numinous/divine in ways which can be understood and utilised in a human context. How you understand your faith depends both on which lens resonates most with your experience - and growing up embedded in a specific cultural faith means you're likely to have a much more detailed and nuanced and multifaceted understanding of that faith, which means you are more likely to find a version of it that resonates with you. Doesn't mean you might not be better served by another faith or sect or interpretation - it's worth exploring and it can be that you find it elsewhere. But what's all around you does inform what frames you bring to the table.

so like. My Christianity is largely coincidental and often quite academic. I don't feel like there's something unique in the teachings of Jesus that I couldn't find in the teachings of many other prophets and philosophers. but it's a framework which offers me something to hang my faith on and compare it against. but my Quakerism isn't. if I'd been raised somewhere without Christianity overall, I think I would have found the same value in another faith.

But if that faith didn't have a sect or community that offered the same call to challenging, questioning, and discernment that Quakerism does - the anti-dogmatic, horizontally-organised, and consciously evolving view of religion - then I would have a problem. That's the bit that uniquely resonates with me - the listening to and conversation with the world, God and yourself, rather than ideas like absolute truth, rigid hierarchy, and a spiritual separation from the world.

(I started rambling about this because someone I follow (a Jewish Marxist) was talking about the perception of Judaism as a whole as being this kind of very progressive open-ended questioning space and how that didn't relate to their experiences of mainstream Judaism. and I don't know enough about mainstream non-online Judaism to have an opinion on that tbh but I do think that my own experience of my own faith community has been very that. like the way people talk about this flavour of Judaism online is very resonant with my experience of Quakerism (and tbf, a lot of Quakers talk the talk but in practise are very reactionary and unwilling to genuinely sit with the discomfort of being challenged or to risk conflict or to move beyond a milquetoast centrism. but that's true in every community). and I was just thinking that I feel very lucky to have a faith community where I do feel broadly like that's the case, because evidently this person posting has a much more fraught relationship with theirs.)

(and I feel like saying that makes it sound like I'm utopian about Quakerism. Most Quakers I disagree with hugely. but like. that's most people. I do genuinely believe that the root beliefs of Quakerism are ones that align with these principles.)

(also like. Quakerism isn't comparable with Judaism, ftr. there are 16.2 million Jews in the world and like 400 thousand Quakers, because Quakerism isn't a separate religion but a sect of Christianity. It's not even comparable with Reform Judaism specifically cause that's still like 4x as many people. Quakerism is a relatively tiny sect of a very large religion. but. given that. that it's this single way of looking at a specific religion. I'm very lucky to have had this lens that resonates so much with me be so readily available bc it's a lot harder for a lot of people to find that resonance. even within the UK (the Quakerest country) I know a lot of people who spend decades looking before finding that Quakerism is the lens that works for them. and I haven't always been a Quaker although I've always been in the community. and part of the reason I feel so lucky and able to engage fully is that I wasn't asked or expected to be Quaker.)

[hagoftheholler]

Hello! I hope this is okay to ask, if not feel free to ignore this question. Your thread conversation this morning about animal spirits got me wondering, do you know of any resources that deal with working with animal spirits that DOESN’T involve appropriating spirit animal practices? I find myself drawn to animals and animal symbolism and animism, but a lot of the resources I find eventually dip into Native American practices and I want to avoid cultural appropriation as much as possible. If you know of any Italian sources that would be extra great, but I’ll take anything from any open practice. Thank you for your time and have a good day!

Finding resources on things like this is difficult. Mostly because of something you've already mentioned: people like to take bits and pieces from Indigenous cultures to work into their personal practices.

I don't know of anything from Italian practices regarding this topic, unfortunately. The most I know extensive information about is the Fylgur, which is Norse. It's hard to find valid information on that even because a lot of people who give input on Fylgur are often coming from the same appropriative spirit animal substitute type perspective instead of seeking academic studies on the topic.

What I'll suggest is working with animal spirits the same you would any other spirit, tbh. There really aren't any major differences beyond the fact that yes, these spirits were once physical living beings. So therefore they do have their natural predators, prey and behaviors to think about. (I'm looking at you, fox spirit that likes to hang around my house. This spirit has never been malevolent but it is curious and it is bossy.)

Be mindful with what animal spirits you're trying to work with, and take things such as cultural significance and folklore into consideration. If the animal is native to one specific continent, or even one specific region, you may want to be cautious trying to approach it. For example; I would never recommend trying to work with a coyote spirit if you're not North American Indigenous. Coyote is only native to North America and has a lot of cultural importance to many Indigenous tribes. Most elders would not suggest people try to work with this spirit ESPECIALLY if you haven't had a multitude of experiences in which Coyote reaches out. No, I don't mean casually seeing coyotes around in this case.

[destinyc1020]

i wouldnt day sofia coppola is overrated, tbough I do think part of her popularity is a byproduct of being a nepo baby. I think shes a good director, she really centers the feminist gaze and her women characters tend to be layered and morally complex. I did like the virgin suicides and marie antoinette. Shes very sensitive to the way she portrays adolesence on screen, and I she attempts and at times successfully deconstructs patriarchy and reveals it inequtable power dynamics.

Though for me her biggest problem is her inability to tackle race in any meaningful way, in lost in translation she heavily relies on sterotypes to perpetuate the otherness of the asian poc in that film. In beguiled she erases the history of slavery in order to a portray a version of southern gothic that is white centered. When it comes to WOC / POC she either erases them or turns them into one dimensional sterotypes thats her biggest knock ( and its a big one).

Thanks Anon for your honest input on Sofia.

I honestly don't think I've ever actually seen one of her films tbh, even though I of course know of her and her work.

i wouldnt day sofia coppola is overrated, tbough I do think part of her popularity is a byproduct of being a nepo baby.

Oh most definitely.

Though for me her biggest problem is her inability to tackle race in any meaningful way, in lost in translation she heavily relies on sterotypes to perpetuate the otherness of the asian poc in that film. In beguiled she erases the history of slavery in order to a portray a version of southern gothic that is white centered. When it comes to WOC / POC she either erases them or turns them into one dimensional sterotypes thats her biggest knock ( and its a big one).

Very interesting... It seems this has also been the gripe of many for the Euphoria show as well. Some feel Sam needs some various writers who can tackle those aspects better.... Some even felt that way about M&M as well.

Look, I have no issues with white directors tackling the subject of race. I mean, Steven Spielberg directed "The Color Purple" for goodness sakes.

But if you're going to tackle an area that you're NOT that familiar with, then you should get some writers or seek input from others in that community so that your work can reflect those communities and groups more accurately onscreen.

For example, I could tell with the series "Little Fires Everywhere" that they DEFINITELY had some black women who were brought in to help write some of those episodes, even though the author of the book is actually Asian. There were just so many things that you could just FEEL were written by black women, and our input was definitely taken into consideration, and it reflects that onscreen in many various episodes. It was a very well-done series imo!

[bdapublishing]

Beta anon for the final time lol I promise. Does your organization compensate BETA readers for their work, or is it solely a volunteer position?

Like I am happy BETA-ing friend’s work for the love of the game so to speak, but tbh when an organization that sells a product is seeking people to offer input to help their authors and editors improve their work as you said, and to do this on a deadline, and isn’t really saying anything about compensation, it does seem a little unpaid-internship-y work-for-exposure-y to me.

Again, I have a great love of supporting art and indie work, but just thinking of the younger folks who burn themselves out doing various types of creative work for free, I would be disappointed to learn this is an industry-wide practice—I have always thought gaming companies should pay their betas or offer some kind of compensation, if they see BETA users as adding value to the end product.

Heyo Anon! Bucky here again.

Industry-wide, I believe that BETA reading is a volunteer position and it is for us, as is ARC reading. While there is no financial compensation, I can say that part of the compensation is getting a free book out of the experience. Anyone who BETA reads for us is aware that this is a volunteer position and if at any point does someone want or need to step back and no longer read the book, they're more than welcome to! We refuse to hold this over anyone's head.

I think it's also important to note that we are an indie publisher-- we may not have the same resources that larger mainstream publishing houses do. We also do a lot to value and respect artists-- especially small artists like the ones we work with. The way I see it, this is a mutual exchange for people who love reading and participating is optional. Like I said, this is industry standard; many readers (myself included, honestly) love BETAing to build their readers resumes and get free books. We don't want anyone to burn themselves out so, as I said before, if for some reason someone needs to drop out of the BETA reading, that's fine!

– Bucky (they/he)

[aller-geez]

Hey, I hope that this doesn't come across as hate, because it isn't intended that way. It's intended as constructive criticism. I'm sure you've already received feedback similar to this, but I think that one reason so many people are more upset than they should be is because of the contradictions in your response to the situation. Everyone makes mistakes, and I think it's really important to actually let people take accountability and move on, when the offense isn't something super serious. But a pet peeve that I & many others have is when someone throws a pity party for themselves after being called out for their wrongdoings. You said "I take full accountability," and you removed the offending post, which was a very good start. However, posting things like "I hate myself," and "I should j*mp off a br*dge," "guess I deserve it," etc. almost undoes a lot of that, as it makes it seem as though you're not sorry for your actions but are instead sorry for yourself and how being held accountable has affected you personally. Furthermore, I wasn't there to see them, but I did hear that on the now-deleted post you received some nasty words in the tags, and I can only imagine what your inbox is like right now. I can completely understand if the hate you've received is affecting your mental health negatively, and you're doing the right thing by taking a step back. The internet-- even this little corner of it-- can be a pretty shitty place sometimes. (If your bridge comment was serious, & you're having any other suicidal ideation, please seek help for that, and know that something like tracing isn't worth your safety. You're still a human being with your own intrinsic value, and your life is still very much worth living, Remi. Call or text a helpline if needed, help is out there.) All I mean is that making posts like that is probably not the best idea. I hope that you're ok, take the time you need. I still love your characters, and hope to see you grow from this. <3

I appreciate your input, anon.

I’ve received so much hate recently that my mental health definitely was not ready for, which is completely my fault.

This corner of the internet has encouraged me to grow as a person over the past four months, and I always felt so accepted by everyone.

Although now, after something that’s been apologized for, there’s so many people literally laughing at me to the point of coming onto my blog to make fun of my appearance.

I have felt more confident in being myself and what makes me, me because of this site, but it was all quickly set on fire and taken to the absolute extreme.

So, tbh, I’d really like to throw myself from a bridge after all of this. That definitely doesn’t mean I am not deeply regretful of my actions that have led me here. But the downpour of sudden hate when I’m already teetering definitely doesn’t help.

So, I apologize if my apologies sound back handed, that’s not at all what I am intending.

I’m struggling.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi! it's moon anon (again) please post my ask for follower input after 1-2 weeks. please ignore the two asks i put in (the update and the one i set my tag as moon anon)

trigger warning: r-word || graphic description || possible manipulation || possible sexual abuse || victim blaming by victim

seeking: validation || reassurance || someone to listen

i don't know if you saw my two asks but i'm the anon who was raped by their boyfriend while sleeping. i ended up confronting him about it. he went from "i don't remember that happening" to "i wouldn't do that to anyone especially someone i love. i didn't rape you." which made me feel invalidated and as though i made the whole thing up. we broke up after he kept entertaining my sexual advances even though he knew that my trauma response was being addicted to him and even though he knew that sex with him was triggering. and he keeps minimising the whole thing and keeps saying that we shouldn't break up over 'something that didn't happen.' he is/ he was pretty sexually abusive tbh. when he started fingering me and giving me oral sex, he would say 'don't stop me.' and i would give in because well, i was madly in love with him and it ended up feeling good so it didn't matter that i didn't want it to begin with. and i learnt from my cocsa experiences that it ends quicker when you just let them do what they want. and he didn't listen to me when i told him to slow down when it was my first time having sex. moreover, he doesn't care when i need to rest because it hurts, he'll just pause for a min and continue. it's weird because he asks me if it hurts and if it's too deep as if he cares but then he just continues after pausing for a minute. anyways, we aren't exactly back together but we've been having sex. a lot of it. like everyday. and that kinda makes me invalidate the fact that he raped me. because if he raped me, why do i want to sleep with him all the time? i know it's a trauma response. and i've read about cases where the victim goes back to their rapists because they are addicted to them but still, it kinda makes me feel like i'm lying about the whole thing even though i am showing all textbook symptoms of someone who was sexually assaulted. the sex isn't as triggering as before. i enjoy it even though he's possibly sexually abusive. the problem is that i want it all the time (and again i know it's a trauma response but it just makes me feel some type of way). and another thing, he apologises weirdly. he doesn't say, "sorry for x. i know x made you feel like y." he instead apologizes like "sorry for x. it's my fault. i ruin everything." or something along those lines. it comes of as sort of manipulative. or is it just me? it seems like he's trynna emotionally blackmail or manipulate me into forgiving him.

Hi moon anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what's been happening.

It's not up to your abuser to say whether or not he raped you. It sounds like he may be gaslighting you by trying to convince you that he would never do that you, despite doing that to you. Gaslighting intends to make the victim feel like they're making up what happened or that they're remembering it wrong, even when they aren't. This works to keep the victim trapped in the abusive situation so that the abuser can continue to take advantage of them.

It's not healthy for him to tell you not to stop him because you have every right to stop whenever you want. A healthy sexual partner would encourage you to check in and make sure you're comfortable continuing, and would respect any request to pause or stop. It seems that he doesn't take accountability for his actions and instead emotionally blackmails you by self-punishing.

Like I said before, it sounds like you may be dealing with some trauma bonding, which is when a victim develops an emotional bond with their abuser. It also sounds like you may be dealing with hypersexuality, which is when someone becomes obsessed with sexual acts, typically due to sexual trauma. Please know that experiencing trauma bonding or hypersexuality doesn't mean you're making up or exaggerating what happened, and it's common for survivors to experience these things.

Please know that you're not alone and if you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you process your trauma, manage your symptoms, and guide you to safety.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[straycatboogie]

2023/08/01 English

BGM: Ryuichi Sakamoto - War & Peace (Cornelius Remix)

I'm still thinking about the troubles about the movies "Barbie" and "Oppenheimer". Indeed, I need to do so with trying to seek for the truth to learn again like a journalist. Therefore I should accept that I am saying my "incomplete" and "rare" opinion at this moment. But I have to say that I have found some opinions as "We Japanese should say that 'We can't allow any atomic bombs' clearly". In this situation, I feel a kind of Devil start whispering as "Really?" or "Is that true?" in me. I think that some Japanese would say that "That atomic bombs were what we needed" or "We should have done that decision to finish that war". Is this a kind of terrible "relativism" or "cynicism"? You would say that "Then, how do YOU think?". I want to say that "No more HIROSHIMAS". It's from the same reason that I can't allow any terrorism or massacre which can kill a lot of innocent people. But, that Devil's whisper comes me as some uncool, but critical replies as "Then, How could we finish that war sooner? Could you suggest any alternative solution?" and "How do you think not to increase victims?". TBH, I am always fighting this kind of whispers every day.

I guess that at that war time their "common sense" or "ethics" had not been updated as now. Indeed, I am just saying from my imagination so I need your alternative opinion, but I guess the concept "peace" couldn't be sublime as now at that time. The era that "war" could be a way of solution for the problems, therefore not be a prohibited thing… But I have to say that this is just a silly speculation. In other words, I am stepping into a silly conspiracy. Now, we know how terrible Auschwitz was. Or Dachau, Hiroshima, and Nagasaki… we can also read "Man's Search For Meaning" (in Japan, we can read "Wildfire"). From them, I can learn that wars must be irrational "physically". But at that time, they couldn't see that the wars must kill weak people meaninglessly as bugs. Could the weak people be "visible"?

But, I also don't want to say that "We Japanese must allow them because they must do that decision to finish the war. Atomic bombs must be needed". Yes, I am really wishy-washy. I am moved so easily by wind's currency. But, even though I try to understand that limit at that time, I think that to criticize that period's primitive common sense from the current time, by the current common sense. To look at that past with keen and critical eyes would mean to look at our footsteps to the current place. How have we walked our way to here (it means the "history"). Accepting "they reached their limit" and "They couldn't choose alternative, better way" with realistic attitude, but returning to the principle of "But, we have to save the dignities of victims. Be human". I believe that is possible. So I don't want to deny the revisionist's old good logic as "Fascists had done good works" or "Hitler had helped some people". Of course, I won't allow the holocaust and also Eugenic thought (I am autistic therefore this thought would hurt me/us). I want to make my logic for the revisionists or cynical people. How can I be real/actual to make my opinion? That's what I am thinking.

Today I worked early. This afternoon, I wrote my poem as usual. This evening, I had time so I read Hisaki Matsuura's essays. I started thinking my proses (in particular, I want to write "essays" or "columns") about the poetry. But I have been writing a journal at every morning and also a poem at every afternoon. This means I have been doing too much output everyday therefore I have to face the lack of inputting. To stop this journal could be a solution… Reading Hisaki Matsuura, I started thinking if I would read his novels and proses more. Write as you think, as you want… Hisaki taught me that truth (by quoting his favorite critic, Roland Barthes). This year, I want to read Proust's "In Search of Lost Time" (Indeed, I would never be able to read it completely). I am also interested in Louis Carroll's poetry… If I have a certain free time, I want to watch great movies about Hiroshima or The Pacific War itself.

Departure at Dusk

A sunset time I enjoyed Lloyd Cole's "No Blue Skies" I remembered the days I had read the novel "High Rise" At that time I had already had two drunken eyes People said what they should, but I believed I must be wise

In Japanese, we write dusk as "the time he can't be seen" The time a owl start flying… Yes, it's what Hegel would mean I had adored to be a writer a long time ago, since I was 14 Troubles happened… but I tried to keep on saving my eyes keen Since this summer of 48, I started this creation series with Muse I am single with no kids, therefore I have nothing to lose Like this creating process, I've enjoyed a private, spiritual cruise

A pen, a notebook, and a smartphone. These are what I need I just keep on living this life passionately, and keep this slow speed I'm now at the dusk time of my life… But I just try to keep my creed

[sofa-q2]

You are terribly misinformed as evinced by your regurgitation of canned media talking points. There IS a natural order to the world. Men are physically strong, while women are resilient, but otherwise physically weak.

Thus, Men are to be MEN by being strong enough to protect not only themselves, but all of the women in their care. Plain and simple; without the world's corrupt claws projecting and warping intentions with other psycho-social pretexts of expectation; the world has a natural order, and going against it gets you dead- in the long or short run makes no matter, as to run contrary to the natural balances and chaos that has already been ordered just so is, well... imbecillic, and wasteful.

While you seek to scapegoat a man for being a man~ all you do is flex muscles that show just how intolerant, hateful, and downright ignorant to the sheer social dynamics of the real world- you are.

Tbh, just don't be a ho. Truly wise words...

Not only is it sinful, it's degrading, limiting, depressing, and tbh~ just as much physical work as any other job, if not exponentially moreso~

So put a lid on it, as your shortsighted view of the world disqualifies you to make any further inputs on this matter in any meaningful way.

In other words: Until you learn better and gain some REAL perspective~ do us all a favor and stfu for a bit so you can reflect on what I have here and now called you out for as bad behaving- you ignorant, hateful, narrow-minded, ho-Bish. 👍

boys idolizing men such as andrew tate who encourages misogyny and violence on women is clearly affecting the younger generation of boys as there was a planned attack on a taylor swift show by a 19 year old boy, & kids got stabbed last week by 16 year old at a taylor dance

[anhedonyan]

I think at this rate I will never get a job lol, it seems to be impossible. There must be something weird in my photo OR SOMETHING because I have two studies in some stuff (idk the translation in English) and nothing. But a dude that had to get only one of my two studies and needed FIVE YEARS for it (while it takes two years for each one) has a job. A dude that smokes weed rolled in monopoly money that needed five years to study a basic thing of two years has a job (albeit it is only inputting stuff in DBs) while I don't.

And then I see the most known IT and defense systems (mostly military stuff tbh) in Spain is seeking for people of my two studies and when I sent my CV because idk, like any person from IT or computer/software/telecommunications engineering has a probability of being a current or past worker there, they said lol no fuck you. Like it's so EASY to enter there because they're kind of desperate to get people because everyone ends up leaving after gathering enough experience in 1-2 years for a better job... EXCEPT ME, for some reason I'm not suitable.

[gotenandtrunkz]

Consummate post of Truten scenarios

Bc honestly sometimes it just eats me up inside

- they're hanging out as guy friends and bros but then what they thought they could do as a normal encounter ends up registering a bit differently, e.g. they watch porn together and it gets weird rather than they being confident theough to the end, they kiss for fun and for the sensory input but it ends up feeling like a bit more than that, they take a sensual bath and the line between metairony and genuinity gets crossed, they make out, Goten sticks his tongue in Trunks's ear and Trunks actually likes it, etc etc

- they dont see each other for a while (incidentally, they have a falling out, trunks goes into space in GT, etc) and when they reconnect they are very happy to see each other and the consummate (sorry to use that word twice in the same post) affection has no reason to limit itself to the accepted conventions of platonic intimacy. But this is a Truten post so they fall in love as well

- maybe not romantic maybe not sexual but they develop a sensual relationship. I can see that . That's pretty much what I've been saying. Sensual attraction. Goten does love to bite ppl that's true

- The idea that one of them is Not Straight and has some sort of attraction for the other and it probably goes unrecognized for years. Breaks my heart. Then they fall in love ❤

- "just a little bit" by Kids of 88 but with less sex appeal . Trunks is stressed out from work and Goten in his sensory-seeking ways gets him to take a bath with him and there are bubbles and scents and hes rubbing his shoulders and Trunks doesnt know how he got here in life but also hes not surprised bc Goten has always been this way. Domt know where I was going w this one. Well I can see it feeling a bit like, like Goten's lust for strange encounters is insatiable. Like Trunks has no choice and has never had a choice in the matter. But this is a lifetime truth so hes not feeling indignant or defensive, hes just resigned to this weird back rub with no thoughts or feelings in his head. And it feels almost selfish and scary in that sense, like bonding with someone who needs you rather than who loves you; like Goten just needs to have this sensory bathtub adventure and it has nothing to do with Trunks, and this is going to go on until they die and no satisfaction will be reached for either party. But if Trunks were to express any of this in words then Goten would be like "Trunks what the fuck are you talking about." And honestly yeah that was some weird shit to say tbh. Trunks isnt a sensory seeker in the same way but he does have a certain relationship with the senses (his sense of smell is very particular and sensitive I think for example) (it's the family autism) (Tarble is the same way btw) and having been reared alongside Goten has only made that more true. But Goten doesn't think of it like that and he honestly finds fulfillment in sensory adventures. He loves to be able to do this. And he loves being helpful tbh. Hes glad that Trunks is willing to try to relax and let him do this. Like honestly "dont worry abt nothing" type of relaxation. Align-your-chakras-and-come-back-to-yourself relaxation. The one thing tho is that Goten has put on some "mood music" that is Rob Zombie playing on low. But then they fall in love anyway

- smth abt the back of Goten's neck in GT. His clean hairline. Something abt Trunks coming back from space a changed man and he and Goten catch up and end up at the skatepark after dark like old times and they share a hug. Something abt the gentle scent of Goten's neck, the exposed skin and clean hairline. Smth abt comfort and familiarity and titillation all the same. Something about "Dude did you just sniff my hair." Anyway

- idk smth the pain and frustration of falling in love w someone you're already sick of but having a knot in your chest to contend w anyway really gets to me. It strikes fear in my heart I think

- FROOT OLIVER NELSON MIX. Young love and all that. The majesty of what predates language. The ardent mystery of love and sex and the winds that you cant see but drive you nonetheless. Thoroughly distressing yet inexorable. Your very necessary mind is meant to just accept that it cant understand what it cant put into words. Really gets to me sometimes

- Oh yeah and of course the idea that Trunks is the president of capsule corp and he lets that slag Goten waltz up into his office and sit on all of his furniture

- Goten is NOT a slag but a very caring soul <3

- Trunks is honestly a very chill dude. And Goten doesnt really give a shit about anything. Therefore the objectively correct way to portray Truten is that theres no drama or feeling but they just like start dating or whagever. But this post is for the things that really get to me sometimes so we're not gonna include that stuff

- Goten Shows Off His Gay4Pay Skillz and slonks silly-sloppy on his shit WITH the scallywag swag. And then they fall in love

- the idea that there are some real constrained emotions present. Teen angst and "I hate you so much" by Anarbor. Whatever

- Oh I forgot about the one wjere Trunks has to wear braces for his janked up city-boy teeth and Goten finds it disturbing and irresistible that he has metal in his mouth ("it's not natural....") and he keeps trying to lick his braces and he keeps trying to get Trunks to eat gummy things so that he can clean his braces with his tongue like a fun scavanger hunt. And literally Goten is the one who keeps putting his mouth on his but he keeps reeling back and with genuine fear saying "DUDE STOP TRYING TO KISS ME! IM JUST TRYING TO LICK YOUR BRACES.." and Trunks is literally not doing anything hes just trying to keep his eyes on his video game and hes angry about this. And Goten keeps kissing him anyway. I'm sorry this was suppsoed to be a serious post let me try again. Ok how about Goten is self-assured in this and keeps trying to tempt him with gummy worms and the such and he knows on some level that hes being funny but honestly he doesnt know what this is doing to his buddy Trunks. Like this is the most action thag Trunks has ever had and idk hes saving face but sometimes he plants bags of gummy worms where Goten will see them just to put the idea in his head. And he does this with shameful and desperate fervor. And he plays it so cool and is like "Goten that is SICK I'm not gonna let you do that again.." and he means it and the disgust is real. But on some level he craves the intimacy of having someone lick his braces. It's fucked up

I think that's pretty much it thanks for listening lol... Post originally drafted on 8.31.22

[bubupharma]

I'm thinking a lot about how the Archons decide who qualifies for Godhood and receive Visions and how different they are from each other. I've been looking for similarities between the elemental units and have actually noticed some neat things.

So Imma drop a list of my thoughts and if y'all have any I'd love to hear 'em~

Lord Barbatos (The Anemo Archon) we don't have too much frame of reference (which is also in character for him really because venti doesn't really...care for the god stuff ha.) He seems to give Visions to those who are whole hearted in their beliefs and live their life with their head high, proud of the life they live.

Examples: Sucrose and her dedicated pursuit of science, Jean and her devotion to Mondstat (a part of him may have also been reminded of old friends...)

The Pyro Archon (The Lady of Fire) seems to have similar qualifications, but leans more towards those who are more forceful in their beliefs and fully act on them, committed without question and against the odds. (makes sense for the God of War ahaha;;;)

Examples: Xiangling and her cooking despite others finding it questionable, Xinyang and her pursuit of Rock n' Roll despite everyone in Liyue finding it a racket, Diluc and his desire to protect the people of Mondstadt even now.

Rex Lapis (The God of Contracts) actually took a bit more thinking than I'd like to admit, but he seems to acknowledge people who have their eyes locked on their goal and are dedicated to achieving it, thus securing the foundation to planning a path there.

Examples: Ningguang and her rise to power from poverty, Noelle and her devotion to her maid duties

The Dendro Archon is the one we have the Absolute Least info for (MiHoYo give us Baizhu I swear to god you have cucked me for Too Long), so the only trend I've noticed is (no suprise here, oh God of Wisdom) knowledge and the pursuit thereof.

Examples: Baizhu and his knowledge of medicine (give me the l o r e), Yaoyao (an upcoming character) is apparently being mentored by Ganyu, an Adeptus

Baal (The Raiden Shogun) was a bit of a mystery to me to be honest. I thought she might pick people with the desire for or respect for comradery (which might still play a part tbh. The God of Eternity is bound to get lonely after all...) After a bit more thought though, I believe she granted her powers to those who want to carve their own path, not paying mind to what the people around them believe and living by their own truth.

Examples: Keqing and her desire to live without the rule of their god, Lisa and her leaving of academia to find her truth her own way, Beidou and her pursuit of a sea beast

The Hydro Archon was another mystery to me. I mean, what do our odd assortment of Hydro Units have in common? Well, after some thought, I can to the conclusion that the Hydro Archon values people who work hard at what they do which is striving for the best, for themselves or for others.

Examples: Barbara becoming an idol to make others happy, Mona seeking to be recognized for her astrology, Xingqui's devotion to become a true hero of justice (which I'm sure the God of Justice thinks very highly off)

The Cryo Archon (The Tsaritsa) is actually the reason I started thinking about this. I noticed a small pattern with the Cryo units, and given the somewhat...distorted logic The Tsaritsa has, it started making sense. The Cryo connection is pain. But the reason, shocking as it may be, is The Tsaritsa gifts these people her power so they can have the strength to ease or overcome their pain in hopes that they no longer have to suffer.

("Her Royal Highness the Tsaritsa is actually a gentle soul. Too gentle, in fact, and that's why she had to harden herself. Likewise, she declared war against the whole world only because she dreams of peace.")

Examples: Kaeya's mental struggle of who to align with, Diona's struggle to come to terms with her father's live of alcohol, Chongyun's physical condition, Qiqi Literally Died and was brought back to life

So these are my thoughts on the Archons and their blessings of visions. (I swear I'm gonna make a GI OC that's just an Archon Researcher and it's just gonna be m e) If y'all have any thoughts or input or just thought it was neat, I'd love to know~