#SE don't do that I know you'll ruin it

[nicohii]

fortnight.

Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt to Comfort, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers (as usual)

Summary: you love him, it's ruining your life. inspired by taylor swift's fortnight.

Sometimes you think to yourself how you caused your own misery. It's not like anybody forced you to come clean with your feelings with him. And it's not his responsibility to return your feelings either. You promised yourself you'll tell him and deal with the consequences maturely - that went well- because now you can't even be in the same room as him. Trying to escape the corridors the moment you see a flash of white hair.

What can you do? There's still a sliver of pride in you that doesn't want to show him how fucking miserable you are in the aftermath because god knows he'll feel so bad about it and that in turn will be another weight in your chest.

Your phone buzzes against the lacquered wood. Vibrations echoing against the smooth surface, flashing a familiar number that you practically memorized by heart already, yet had not called for a while. You let the call die out on its own not bothering to pick up.

Ever since that honest, rejection, per se, a rift started to form, try as you might not to. It's your fault and you know it, but you want all your feelings to at least settle down before properly facing him again. Damn, you fucking loved that dude since you can remember, why couldn't you just have swallowed it down.

"I'm really sorry. I think... I just don't see us being more than the best of friends, you know? "

The way he said it didn't help too. His golden eyes were actually pleading, like he didn't want to even say what he said. His breathing uneven. His hands, as big as they were, fidgeting. He has that look on his face like he wants to take back all he said just because of the look on your face. So you put on your face together in a way that will make him at ease. Make him believe that it's fine (it fucking hurts a lot). And you pat his back (it stings).

"I understand, we'll always be the best of friends."

---------------------------------------------------

Life goes on after that. A few years maybe. Some friends go on to other countries, some friends go back to rest roots and settle. He goes on to compete in a few Olympic games and international competitions.

He still calls from time to time, tells you how he's doing. You see some tabloid news about him, different models. They look good together. He looks better. He's an Olympian, of course he does.

You realized that in the moments that everyone had been moving on, you're stuck. Spending the years being faithful even if there is nothing promised, following Koutarou's footsteps, that you have dedicated everything for him; that you have forgotten what it's like to live not for him.

That plans for Koutarou aside, you don't have a single plan for yourself. In a desperate cry in a temple on a quiet holiday, begging for a sign, bargaining, and promising to listen (as if that rejection wasn't a clear message enough back when you were in high school); a call for a work overseas arrives. You take it without any hesitation. Taking the earliest flight, taking whatever life you have left here, very few shreds of dignity, and a somehow healing heart.

---------------------------------------------------

He still reaches out, small talks, asking how you have been. You learn how to forget replying. It's work, it's the time zone. Little by little. Maybe life isn't all about him.

You still see news, less tabloids and papparazzi shots, and just more on campaigns and game updates. Tetsuro and Akaashi rarely mention him too aside from necessary.

In the rare days where he managed to catch you online, and you respond, he mentions the idea of a visit when you mention having no time to go home. It has been a long time.

"Maybe I can go see you? "

You're far too busy to hear any undertones than the usual him. Innocent Kou, you muse, and rest assured that whatever you might respond will just be taken as it is and no hard feelings.

"I'm not sure Kou. Depends on the schedule. I may not be here always."

(You're on remote work and flexitime but he didn't need to know that)

It's a decline he knows. Sucks really, he was hoping you'd say yes. You usually say yes.

What happened to 'You're always have a home here' ?

What happened to 'You're always welcome here'?

Sometimes, in the days when he feels a little bit to much, overstimulated and tired of the life of fame he has chosen, his mind automatically thinks of you. Phone involuntarily in hand and scrolling to a familiar number. Tries to call it (even if overseas call cost a lot, and that's fine he can pay) but feel a pang of something unexplained when the call is not picked up.

"Oh yeah, yeah I get it. It's fine you must be busy."

He tries to counter himself. Bullshit, he can book a tour if you were busy, you can go to work, and he'll wait for you to get home, nothing wrong with that.

You tells him you need to go. That you can continue to catch up soon. But you both know if he doesn't start, nowadays, you never do.

Maybe that's what distance does, he thinks.

Maybe that's what trying to get away from the masochistic tendencies for him meant, you think.

---------------------------------------------------

It's the off season months. News of MSBY players not renewing their contracts has been dominating the news. Hinata Shoyo opts to play for Brazil. Sakusa opts to sign with Italia. No news of other starting players -- and Bokuto is still at a cross roads. He has a few options-- to renew of course, a position with another European team (Italy with Kageyama and Sakusa; Poland with Ushijima) , and an offer from a country where you, but you don't need to know that too. No one does.

He remembers asking his sister. If she has been in contact with you. Apparently she does. He is not that dumb to not be able to put two and two together.

"Maybe she's making her own peace, you know?" She lightly says.

Still, he stares at their conversations, not really as long as they were before, only sometimes when you wished him luck. Other than that, it's like... What? One sentence answers before you say good bye for work?

He wants to feel betrayed and mad. Was it really that unforgiveable not being able to reciprocate to be punished like this? But is he really the only reason? People just drift apart, he guesses.

"I just thought it would be a better closure than this. Like I'm not some dude you just cut off that easily, because we're different", he types one day, out of frustration when he saw Akaashi's phone screen notify of a familiar number.

He deletes the message on his own phone before he even has the balls to send it.

---------------------------------------------------

Life is better. You tried to bargain, got what you wanted and you're doing better. Walking alone with zero thoughts but dinner is refreshing. How long was it? You hate to admit it, but, you're starting to forget his face now or at least the little details of it. You can't forget that day of course, but it doesn't really hurt like before. You've learned to forgive, you love him of course, you never won't, but you've also made peace with it. You're here if he needs you, he's there when you do, you'll stay whatever he wants to be and life will be life.

You spoke to soon apparently.

Because the oxygen feels a little too scarce, your chest banging when you see a familiar mountaineering backpack and tufts of hair facing away from you and checking back and forth on what seems to be an address from his phone. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of your apartment door. He's bigger; still has his passport on his hands.

He just got here. That's obvious.

"Kou? " You softly call and he turns around. Eyes wide, and you hug your groceries tighter, gripping your keys tighter. He's here. You want to deny it but the swelling in your chest becomes obvious. You miss him. A lot. So much.

"Hi." Is what he only says before pocketing his passport in a desperate attempt to move because your eyes are freezing him. Maybe he shouldn't be here. Maybe he should have called first.

"I just.. I was just passing b- I really didn't think... I... Japan has really been overwhelming."

There is a sound of defeat and sadness in his voice and you feels sorry for him. But how about you? He overwhelms you but at the same time, you know that deep down you would have done the same. You place your groceries down the hall and open your arms to him, he looks like he's about to cry, the wetness in his eyes are obvious as he goes to you, trying to tuck himself in you. You feel wetness in the sides of your neck and a sniffle. He almost squeezes the life out of you, breathing you in. There's a lot of things he wants to say but all that comes out are hiccups muffled by the collars of your shirt. He feels you hug him back tighter, trying to soothe his back and rocking him back side to side.

It goes on for a couple more minutes before he subsides, but he doesn't budge. You gently pry him off of you, his face in both of your hands, his eyes red, puffy and tired looking at you tenderly,

"I get it. Come on in. "

[thewertsearch]

Damn. Well, it's not like you actually needed it to fly. Hope you made a note of its code!

I love that WV is just chilling with John now, as he meanders around the Battlefield. The Vagabond is a bit of a wanderer too, so they make a good pair.

AG: Your guardians are not here! EB: oh… EB: dang it! EB: do you know where they are? AG: Yes, they are in another castle. Don't worry, you'll find them later.

Sorry, John. According to gaming tradition, you'll need to explore seven different castles to find what you're looking for.

AG: John, are you mad at me? EB: um… no?

He genuinely isn't, is he?

If any of the other kids learned of Vriska's role in their session's downfall, they'd be ready to throw down - but for John, it's no biggie. He's practically forgotten about it already.

Nothing really fazes this kid, from life-threatening situations to startling family revelations. At least, nothing appears to faze him - but he can't no-sell the game's trials forever. Maybe he's just putting them all in the Vault.

AG: Then what's the matter? EB: i guess i just miss my dad. i was hoping he would be here, but apparently i won't see him for another few hours or whatever? […] AG: I still find it a little hard to understand the sentimentality you attach to these adult humans. […] EB: i guess you just have to think of them the way you think of your lusus..ses? Lusi? […] AG: Except I never liked mine that much. ::::\ AG: Even after I prototyped her, things were pretty chilly 8etween us! I spent most of my adventure avoiding her. Haha.

Fuck, I've never really thought about that. Vriska was stuck with Spidermom for the entire game - and now she could abuse her verbally, too.

That’s... incredibly shitty, actually. Most Sburb Players get to leave their oppressors behind, but Vriska’s became her guide.

EB: why would i be mad at you, vriska? AG: 8ecause I tricked you into getting killed!!!!!!!! EB: oh. right. EB: i… actually almost forgot about that! AG: Would it help if I said I was sorry?

Something very strange is happening to Vriska, here.

She’s killed before – countless times – and she’s never shown anything close to this level of remorse. Sure, she tried to make things up to Aradia, but that never got very far. Vriska just wanted to 'fix' things with her apology gift, and didn't seem to care about Aradia's own feelings. It was too self-centered to be a true apology.

For the first time ever, Vriska's not making an apology all about her, and she isn't ruining it with the insults that are normally so ubiquitous among the trolls. I think it's the first time she's apologized and meant it, and it might signal the beginnings of an actual change.

Among her many crimes, Vriska’s 'murder' of John is relatively mild - but I think it's hitting her much, much harder than the others. She's so worried about ruining things with him that she's apologizing like a human.

[forcebewitht]

Dorm leaders with an s/o that likes to randomly hug them out of nowhere?

Twisted Wonderland: The Huggy S.O. X The Dorm Leaders

🌹Riddle Rosehearts🌹

Honestly? I feel like it would come as a surprise to him

From what we know from this poor guy's past and stuff, boy probably didn't get hugs often

Most likely, it also depends on where or when you do it for him as well

If you hug him in the middle of, say, him talking to his dormmates or attempting to discipline someone????

You might either get a click of the tongue from him combined with a look

Or straight up possibly fussed out about interrupting him

However, if you do it in close quarters?

You'll feel him tense up for the briefest of moments, but he'll eventually lean into it a little

If he's really in a bad mood, he'll almost instantly lean his head onto your chest or shoulder

The tighter the better, most likely

He sometimes isn't sure how to fully give it back, so he'll just sort of pat your back or shoulder for a second

"Tsk...again with this, my rose? ...Oh, alright. I suppose I can allow this type of contact for now...just stay there, okay?"

🦁Leona Kingscholar🦁

For the love of the Great Seven, don't do it when he's napping-

Yes, I know it looks comfortable and I know he's insanely warm

But this man is going to probably open an eye and growl at you so fast-

Unless he is in a very specific sleeping position, then he's actually asking for you to act as a sort of secondary pillow for his form

Don't do it in front of his dormmates, they'll start attempting to tease him for the softness/it'll ruin his image

Other than that, he probably will sometimes attempt to be the first one to grab you himself

His little herbivore wants a hug?? Sure, as long as everyone sees him doing it and knows that you're his

Probably does it a lot to make sure his scent is prominent on you as well, if anything

If you're the one to start it, he'll most likely just sink into it (pray he doesn't fall asleep on the spot-)

"...Hmm? Does the little herbivore want to be near me again? Hah, you're so desperate to do that, aren't you? Sure~"

🦑Azul Ashengrotto🦑

He's mostly similar to Riddle- depends on where you are

If he's, say, in the middle of a most likely illegal very sound business transaction? He's going to smile and everything, but his eyes tell all-

If it's in the middle of him walking or say, the Monstro Lounge?

He's going to get flustered inside very quickly, but is easily able to mask that with a bright smile and embracing you back

He'll probably whisper a little warning into your ear or saying that it can be continued later on

If you're in close quarters? He's all over you.

I mean- probably literally all over you.

Especially after a hard day working or if a transaction didn't go too hot

You honestly kind of remind him of the pot he used to hide himself in when he was younger, so the pressure and being able to wrap himself around you is actually insanely comforting

He's the type to bury his head into your neck in these moments, keeping as close to you and your comforting body as possible

"Ah~? Did my little angelfish want yet another hug from her darling~? Alright, as you so desire, but make it quick- I have work to do, you know~"

☀️Kalim Al Asim☀️

Out of everyone listed? You already know Kalim's going to be all over you, too.

In fact, sometimes he does it to you before you can even notice he's there yourself-

He'll just spot you out of nowhere and make a beeline to you and yank you off your feet

He's a fan of spinning hugs the most, loving to laugh and smile with his lover at any point and make them feel like they're in a whole new world

He'll reciprocate any hug you give him instantly

So, if you're the one to hug first, he's already hugging you back tightly and peppering kisses all over your face, neck, shoulders- wherever he deems fit.

Just like Azul in close quarters, Kalim is all over you

He'll make sure that you both have the most comfortable set up ready for cuddle sessions whenever you like

Jamil gags in the background at the sugary sweetness, but that's okay

"Huh- oooohhh, ahaha! Hiiiii! Did you miss me? I missed you, too! Awww, don't worry, when we get back to my dorm tonight, you can cuddle me as much as you want, okay?"

👑Vil Schoenheit👑

He's honestly a mixture of Riddle and Leona-

For the love of the Great Seven, PLEASE don't do it if pictures are about to be taken or if he is modeling-

That would be an earful I don't think anyone would be ready for

But other than that, he'll tense up initially at the contact

He likes petting your head whenever you run up to him like that for a hug once he regains his composure (and gets over the shock)

He also enjoys lightly linking his arms around your waist and holding you there a bit

If he's in a good mood, he might even lightly dip you whilst you hug him

In close quarters, he's a lot more hands on than he is in public

He'll enjoy occasionally allowing his head to rest upon your lap as he discusses the day or goes through whatever is needed with Rook present

He also enjoys having his head rest against yours in side hugs upon his bed or a couch at times

"Hmm? Oh, sweet potato- you simply took me by surprise. Did you miss my touch, darling? Don't worry, I'll fulfill that need of yours for now."

💀Idia Shroud💀

Considering he's only ever in his room with the occasional sneak out? He'll get shocked initially, but-

Once that shock is gone, he's probably hugging you back, grinning like an idiot

He'll probably request that he lays in your lap and you cuddle him while he plays a game and you watch, if anything

The first few times you randomly popped in for a hug freaked him out, though-

He didn't know what you were "up to"

But once you (and probably Ortho) explained that you simply like hugs?

Took him a while to warm up to it, but he broke down overtime and now enjoys them

He never knows when to let go, though-

So you two might just be standing in his room, rocking back and forth for a while in a hug

"-Oh. Ehehehee~ heeeeeeyyy. Did your hug stats get lowered? Hope I was able to boost that by a few points. I actually have a game I thought you might want to watch me play....so, if you have time...let's do the usual...?"

🐉Malleus Draconia🐉

Good luck finding him, first-

If anything, you'd probably have to have some sort of tracker put on him to even find him in the first place for random hugs

That, or just follow a trail of seemingly spooked students

I feel like he'd catch on to you being the one to like random hugs, so HE would be the one to pop up out of nowhere to give you one

He's extremely tall, too, so he'll definitely have no problems scooping you up and holding you close

You always feel his warmth and the strength in his grip whenever he does so

Like Idia- he doesn't really ever know when to stop?

So, he genuinely might just start walking with you in his arms still hugging him

Like Vil, he also enjoys resting his head on top of yours during a hug, or occasionally will give a head pat or head rub

He's also a bit of a neck burier, so he'll just sit you both down on a bench or do it whilst you're walking

He enjoys every inch of your presence whenever he is graced with it, after all

If you somehow do manage to find and basically have to jump on this fae for a hug-

He's immediately perplexed, but he'll catch onto it just being you and will hug back

"-Firefly? Ah. Why, hello to you, too. Have I been missed today? Well...I suppose I shall hug you for as long as you so need, then."

~END~

(Long time no see, my dear Readers!!! IRL stuff has kinda been kicking my hindparts, so I am going to attempt to tackle these asks one by one as I so am able to. As for those asking about the Overblot writings- yes, they will be continuing further down the line!!! So, stay tuned~ and as always, hope you enjoyed ✨️💕)

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

Hii! I saw your fanfic on Shadow of Wrath with Beast Y/N Cookie! I absolutely loved it! You don't have to do this, but maybe you could do a part 2? You don't need to do it! 🩵🤍

God- I need to stop letting my sister borrow my laptop- one shadow of wrath continuation coming up, dear butterfly!

previous part

Shadow of wrath part 2 (Beast Y/N cookie)

Simple to say things have changed drastically since Y/N cookie finally snapped. The fight between them and the beasts was short and easy for them, as though they were fighting mere children. But they weren't gonna crumble now, oh no no no. What good would it do if the beasts just get off the hook with a mere death? That wouldn't do you any justice, especially considering they're the ones who ruined your life from the start. So you'll make sure to keep them, alive but not unharmed. Your kingdom was already being repaired in any case, and having seen your new form the cookies were now scared of you. Good. Then maybe they'll be able to do the job right.

You kept the beasts down in a dungeon and weakened their powers by a large amount. In fact it'd be a miracle if they still had any powers left at all, considering you took their soul jams. Not like they'd need it in any case. They'd never leave. Never taste freedom again. Never be able to inflict more pain onto you. Nobody would. Not anymore. They will never hurt you again. And you'd make sure of it. It didn't stop at just imprisoning them, that would be far too easy. A little torment here and there would be delightful. Mental torture was implemented depending on how you felt. It was only fair since you had mental scars from what they put you through.

Shadow Milk cookie was a bit bitter about it all. How did five of them lose to one of YOU?! It was bringing back the whole "getting sealed away" thing. And to think you had the nerve to make fun of him. How audacious. He could easily make you a puppet and crumble you if he wasn't chained to the wall and had his soul jam. Why do you have to be such a diva? Can't you take a simple joke? Hmph, well clearly whatever the joke was hadn't been funny enough to let you spare him. Every moment you were together was filled with mock care, only to switch up the next moment and become someone so cruel even he was worried. He didn't let it break his spirit though. He still believed that he'd get out one day.

"And when that day comes, you'll be nothing more than a little toy caught in the web of deceit."

"Funny you feel that way. Perhaps you truly are so deceitful that you go as far as to lie to yourself."

Mystic flour cookie did try to remain indifferent to you, but you knew more about her than she even realized. You feed into her fears, reminding her of her failure to fix everything. And despite how she's insistent that what happens will make no difference, you know what makes her tick. You go on and on about how her quest to return all to flour was just as stupid as she was, how in the end she inflicted the one thing she was trying to get rid of. Pain. You go into how her solution to the cookies pain was nothing more than a lazy excuse to get out of wish granting. Whilst she still shows no reaction, you can se it in her eyes. She's not as apathetic as she says she is.

"It is futile to believe I'll break to mere taunting, Y/N cookie. In the end we will be return to flour, so why even bother. The suffering will end eventually."

"You truly think that changes anything? How blind are you? Your 'apathy' is nothing more than a pathetic hoax to hide your fear. And I plan to exploit that."

Burning spice cookie was BEYOND infuriated with you. How AUDACIOUS are you to be ripping out his soul jam from his chest, then having EVEN MORE NERVE to taunt him about it?! He'll destroy you! He's faced countless powerful cookies in the past. You're no different! Just fight him! It'd be a good form of entertainment! Silly spice. He's truly not worth the energy. It's more torture when you're just standing there, playing with his soul jam so carelessly, and pretending to drop it. How dare you tease him like that. How dare you be so gentle with him. Where's that beastly fighting spirit you had when you defeated him?! Why were you being so insufferably gentle?! That's just it. That's just what makes him tick. You didn't even have to say anything.

"What is the meaning of this weakness?! Why are you so disgustingly tame?! WHERE'S YOUR INNER BEAST?!?!"

"Hm. I won't give you the pleasure of knowing, mere spice. You're a lot more enduring when you can't cause destruction."

Eternal Sugar cookie was broken pretty quick. Why were you so mean to her?! Why so rough and harsh? Were you really choosing mere cookies over her?! How could you. Why were you feeding into her insecurities so much? Why were you so cruel to her? What happened to that sparkle in your eyes that made her ecstatic? Why did it dull away? Simple. Because you learned to grow up and stop acting like some naive child. Sure, she was pretty, but that's to mask how utterly useless she truly was. Nobody loved her. Nobody could. She was nothing more than a foolish idiot who didn't deserve the right of being beside you.

"You don't mean that. You don't mean any of that!"

"Oh you sweet little fool. The only thing that means nothing is the useless sloth I stand before right now."

Silent salt cookie was resilient, you'll give him that. Never showing any signs of emotion with you, neither verbal nor physical. Nevertheless, you would find a way to get to him. His silent was his weapon, but who's to say you can't exploit that? Besides, what can he do? Say nothing, do nothing, he's nothing.

"..."

"Silent, yet again. Though I'm starting to wonder... Is it because you won't talk... or because you can't."

With the reconstruction of your kingdom and the beasts under your control, you could relax, if only momentarily. Knowing this place, word was gonna reach the other ancients eventually. And when it does, you ought to know how you'll deal with them.

[kiefbowl]

i'm curious about your thoughts on medical transition, which you've said you aren't against. for me, the medical modifications i've made to my body are more about the material qualities of my body than a specific 'gender goal' - my breasts caused back and neck pain, i didn't want to be able to get pregnant, when i was on testosterone it was equally about the potential effect on my chronic health conditions as it was the aesthetics. but i also feel like i have a pretty different relationship to the concepts of gender and having a body than some trans people seem to, in both public and private. i don't think people should be rushing down a checklist of medical procedures without personal reflection and i think the social pressure to do a 'full' transition for the 'right' reasons is getting worse and will have (and has already had) ill effects. but i don't really think that's something policy can address effectively.

anyway. interested in your thoughts!

Well, to clarify - I think well informed adults get to decide these things for themselves. I don't think it's necessarily a good or best choice, and I don't think most people are well informed about these things. I can concede, though, that I don't know the particulars of everyone's life, so how can I objectively say what has been beneficial to someone's life and what hasn't. For example, if you were to ask me in a vacuum and divorced from all contexts if a nose job is better than someone attempting suicide, unequivocally my answer is yes of course. But I don't think a nose job is the root of what's causing someone's suicidal thoughts. People want nose jobs not because they're perceiving their nose as correctly ugly. But also, can I imagine how horrible the ceiling of bullying is to push someone into that headspace? Yeah, of course. My hope is that someone who's not a cosmetic surgeon intervenes first.

Cosmetic surgeons though...it doesn't behoove them to provide alternate ways of thinking. They're also not psychologists. They have to sell surgery to make money. Every incentive is there to agree with you that you're right: you're unhappy because you are capital U Ugly! Or capital WM Wrongly Made! And surgery will give you that happiness. I don't trust them, I don't like them, I don't think they do good work.

I will be frank about my own body right now, I've mentioned this before, but people can get weird about it - I have extremely large breasts. I'm not going to post a pic to prove it, so you'll just have to trust me. I've had above sized breasts since twelve, they are extremely cumbersome, I do think they've impacted my body's health in negative ways. When I was 20, I pursued breast reduction but wasn't willing to jump through the hoops asked of me to get insured, so I dropped it. Looking back now, I don't regret it, but I do wonder how my life would have been different if I had gone through with it. When I get the itch, when I think what a little fat off and a tiny lift could impact my life, I research like crazy. Each time, the older I get, the more dubious I am that I could get the magical results I really want. I can't get any surgeon to give me confidence they could prioritize what I prioritize. They can talk a big game, try to sell me, but they can't give me the confidence I need to ensure they wouldn't go beyond the changes I would want and make sure I wouldn't lose sexual feeling in my breasts. I think I'm a highly skeptical with a big bullshit detector, and if you really push a plastic surgeon to explain how they would achieve or avoid something, I find they come up empty. Maybe other people have different experiences, but I find they just push statistics at me. Let me tell you something: losing sexual feeling in my breasts would feel like ruining my life more than the bullshit I put up with having big boobs. I'm not willing to risk "only happens to 5%" or whatever. And that isn't even how pushy they are to make me feel like I need a huge lift and reshape, push how sexy I could be if I would just trust them to make "the perfect breast". It's humiliating to me.

This is all to say that I am not unsympathetic to why women look to cosmetic surgeons for diverse reasons, and if a woman has gone that route and it's impacted her life for the better, that's awesome and I have no interest in changing her mind.

But to your point about gender transition (which I'll use that term for the sake of being understood, but I don't think those words are accurate), I do see anecdotally trans influencers (or just GNC influencers) that appear to be pushed into more and more surgery. Not only is the pressure there to make content, but I think it's downstream of what's going to be an issue for most people seeking out cosmetic surgeries: these surgeries aren't fixing the root of the issue and can never feel complete. You can't change your sex, these surgeries are superficial - so they don't give the desired results long term. That breaks my heart honestly, because surgeries of this kind are not reversible. And the people who win out are surgeons who are happy to charge you again and again.

When it comes to policy - I don't think the solution is to address only gender transition. The entire industry should be under scrutiny. However, this will always run up against the issue of defining the difference between a "necessary" surgery and a "cosmetic" surgery, and I'd rather be in the camp that says "well informed adults get to decide these things for themselves" than push for legal repercussions for quote unquote purely cosmetic surgery. Downwind of that is some nasty stuff, like denying abortion or denying disabled people certain care, among other things we could imagine.

[delulukaisen]

Valentine's Chocolates

a/n: hi i've been reading too much jjk smut on here and uhhh decided to write my own I hope you like it thank you >///<

It was inspired by a drawing on here of giving Toji valentine's chocolates but I lost the post so if someone knows it so I can credit that artist pls lemme know!!

CW: gratuitous smut, cunnilingus, unsanitary sex acts (you'll get a uti don't do this), c'um eating, dirty talk

---------

You had been seeing Toji for a while now. It was hard to call it dating, per se, as he flitted in and out of your life with very little communication, but you certainly preferred when he was around to when he wasn’t. He’d been gone the entirety of the holiday season, ghosting you for nearly a month before he suddenly showed back up on your doorstep, making your heart skip a beat with his knowing smirk when you pressed your thighs together just at the sight of him. 

Perhaps the biggest reason you never fussed when Toji showed back up is because he fucked like an animal. You were too easy on him-- it would barely take him five minutes of entering your apartment before he’d have your thighs for earmuffs, slurping over your cunt and teasing you over how loud she would be. He would shove two fingers inside to hear you squelch before sucking on your clit, sometimes spending hours between your legs before he would finally fuck you proper, filling you up with his massive cock. 

It wasn’t just the sex you liked about him, though. As elusive as he was, you liked what you had gleaned in the little moments between feral fucking sessions. He was a bit of a bully, far too aware of his size and strength, always putting on an air of knowing you couldn't toss him out if you tried. Even so, he was capable of being sweet. He often restocked your fridge before you would get home, or bring food when he came to visit, though he clearly preferred your cooking more. And anytime you managed to leave the apartment together, he made you feel safe, pulling you closer the moment anyone else so much as looked at you. 

You felt silly the whole time you made valentine's chocolates. Toji wasn't a particularly romantic man, and you doubted he would show up that day even if you asked, but you wanted to take the chance to tell him how you really felt. You wanted more than occasional hookups and the constant worry that you were probably just one in a rotation, though he said a few times his absences were due to his freelance work. He never explained what exactly that meant.

You had nearly given up any hope of him visiting you on Valentine's day as the evening got later, and felt foolish for putting on a fresh red lace underwear set, when the doorbell rang. With a pounding heart, you got up to answer the door, unable to hide your smile when you found Toji leaning against your door frame. He looked you up and down hungrily, going as far as to lick his scarred lips.

“Dressin’ up just for me, ma?” He asked, taking in the new black dress you were wearing. It always made you damp when he called you ma, filling your head with the thought of being bred by him. You blushed and stood aside so he could enter.

“Why would I dress up if I didn’t even know you were coming?” You shot back. He laughed and wrapped his big, strong arms around you, so tall that his arms squeezed your breasts to your chest, pulling you close against him so he could kiss just below your ear.

“Hm? But I always cum,” he teased. He nipped at your earlobe, his hands starting to explore you as soon as the door closed. It felt good to give in as he fondled your tits over the dress, but when he groped your thigh and ground his hard cock against your back, you wiggled out of his hold, face red and hair a little messy already.

“W-wait! Just, before we get distracted…” you started and went to the kitchen. Toji watched you with curious eyes. You never stopped him for anything. It was something he loved about you, and if you were anyone else, he would have ruined you for it. Somehow, he just couldn't bring himself to take advantage of you when you looked so damn happy to see return. It kept him coming back to you again and again, paying the price for your excited smiles with the best dick he could give. One taste of you and he knew he didn’t want anyone else. He would just keep bugging you and fucking you until you got a backbone.

Still, he was surprised when you returned, holding something behind your back. You blushed so cutely as you held up a small flat wrapped box. He took it, feeling a little dumb.

“I made you chocolates. Maybe it's stupid of me, and I'm sure you don't feel the same, but, I want to be with you for real, not just waiting for you to drop by. I like you a lot, Toji,” you confessed. You were fully ready for rejection, already braced for him to tell you he was happy just hitting it when he felt like it. His silence made you look at him for real.

Toji stared at the box of chocolates, completely stunned. No one ever gave him homemade chocolates before, not that he had anyone sweet enough to want to. But more than that was what you said. Transactional relationships and mooching was all Toji knew. He’d spent so long hopping from woman to woman, needing a bed to crash in, some cash to gamble with. None of them wanted him around for more than a good fuck, and he never asked for more emotions than that. 

“You should have higher standards, ma,” he told you with a shaky breath. You shrugged, grinning.

“I'm pretty hopeless. Besides, when will I find another man as big and handsome as you?” You teased. He set down the chocolates on your coffee table, popping one in his mouth before pulling you close.

“Y'know, you’ll regret letting a dog like me stay in the house,” he threatened, running his hand through your hair, the other gripping your hip. You melted like putty in his arms, your hands touching his firm chest.

“So be a good dog,” you told him with a smirk. His eyes widened and he barked out a laugh before kissing you. The chocolate had melted in his mouth, and he kissed it into yours. It was messy and sensual, tasking the sweet treat along with pure him, his tongue sliding against yours, uncaring of the saliva that slipped past your lips as you groaned into his mouth.

“Like it? Now I taste as sweet as you,” he told you in a deep gravel, making your knees go weak. He manhandled you until you were laid out on the couch, dress already yanked off. He grinned wolfishly when he took in your fancy underwear.

“You sure like dressing sweets up, huh?” He teased as he grabbed your legs by the back of the knees and propped them on his large shoulders, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh before nipping the flesh. You whined, needing more than his teasing.

“Toji, please,” you whimpered. Your panties were already wet, your clit pulsing with every huff of breath you could feel. He ran his finger down your slit over your underwear, laughing when you squirmed.

“You're gonna make me fat, spoiling me with all these treats,” he continued to tease, brushing a knuckle against your clit before nipping your sensitive thigh again, making you gasp. “What if I enjoyed them together?”

“Wha--” you started to ask, but he slid off your panties (not so subtly going into his pocket) and put another chocolate in his mouth. You watched him smirk as he closed the distance between his mouth and your pussy, pressing a kiss to your inner folds with a loud smack of his lips. 

Toji always ate you out like a starving man, but today he chose to be a tease. He licked through your folds, tongue flat and slow as he avoided your throbbing clit. He watched you with amused eyes as his tongue circled your hole without fucking it, using one hand to spread you wide open. 

“Toji, more,” you begged at his light touch, needing more to get off. He pulled back, laughing and smeared with chocolate.

“Can’t help it, ma. I'm savorin’ these tastes,” he pouted, though his grin gave him away. Just before you could huff back a response, he dove back in, attaching his lips to your clit and sucking. You let out a shriek at the unexpected sensation, his laughter reverbrating through your cunt. The tip of his tongue circled your clit while he sucked, letting up only to make out with your pussy. His tongue swiped up and down, exploring you thoroughly as he kept his mouth glued to you before plunging it inside. His strong arms wrapped around your waist and held you down as you bucked while he ate, trying to escape the overwhelming sensation. He rubbed his nose on your clit while fucking his tongue inside, his face and your thighs smeared with melted chocolate. The sight of him between your thighs, so messy and so focused on your pleasure did you in.

“Toji! I'm gonna cum,” you moaned. You could see the delight in his eyes as he sucked on your clit once more, sliding a thick finger inside you while he worshiped your clit. His finger curled deliciously inside while he stroked your clit with his tongue, eyes watching for your ecstasy. Your own rolled back as a powerful orgasm crashed down, making your legs shake as he held them open, back arching off the couch. Your mouth silently chanted his name, unable to take in air as you were blissfully high. He didn’t stop his worship for a second as you came, working his mouth over you even as you started to push at his head.

“Please! I'm too sensitive!” You pleaded. 

“I'm still hungry,” he growled back, firmly holding your legs open so he could keep feasting despite you trying to wiggle away. His insistent mouth brought you over the edge again, filling his mouth with your slick while you screamed, fingers tangled painfully in his hair. He moaned into your pussy, drinking you up faithfully. 

“God, you’re delicious,” he groaned, finally pulling away. Your relief was short lived as you watched him shuck his clothing, still looking at you like a delicious meal. He licked his lips, shining with your cum, and smiled. 

“You’re sweeter than any chocolate,” he told you before leaning down and stealing a kiss. He shoved his tongue inside your mouth, making you taste yourself. He was still kissing you when his bulbous tip pressed against your entrance.

“Never gonna let you go, ma. Gonna make you all mine,” he promised before bullying his way inside. You always felt so fucking full with Toji, his cock nearly too much for you to take, especially after his longer absences. You tried using a toy similar in size to him, but could never hit your own special spots quite the same way. He rolled his hips to bury himself deeper and deeper, pulling out slightly just to slam in twice as far until he was buried in you to the hilt. He pressed on a small bump in your abdomen, making you jolt at the sensation.

“Feel that, ma? That's me rearranging your guts. Gonna have a good time makin' em all sloppy,” he moaned. Fuck, his dirty talk always made you gush. He pushed your legs up until they were pinned by your shoulders, his weight pressing you into the couch until you could barely breath. You fucking loved when he did that, moving you around like a doll. You loved how weak he could make you feel, the danger he oozed. He could snap you like a twig in a second, and that made you wet.

His cock was relentless as he fucked you, his heavy balls slapping your ass as he rode you. He panted against your neck, completely covering you in the mating press. You could just barely reach your arms around his back, nails digging down as he drove you towards a third orgasm.

“Gonna mold this pussy to only fit my cock. Won't stop til you're always stretched just f'r me. Perfect little cocksleeve, aren't ya?” he babbled, hips snapping. You moaned in response, all your words driven away as his cock made you dumb. The entire world was his length stretching you so good, rubbing against every perfect spot inside. His hands were bruising as he gripped your thighs, and you could tell he was close to the edge.

“Cum in me, Toji, fill me up,” you begged, cunt pulsing around his cock.

“You want my cum? Naughty girl. Don't worry, ma, I'll stuff you full,” he promised. He put his arms on either side of your head to brace himself before increasing his pace, splitting you open deliciously.

“Open your mouth,” he panted, and you immediately did, moaning when he spit in your mouth, immediately grinning.

“Dirty fuckin’ girl! I'm gonna break you,” he groaned. You came at his words, squeezing down around his cock. He cursed as he came in response, painting your insides with his hot cum. You could feel it filling your womb, making you shudder. Toji's cock slipped out and he watched his cum start to drip out before plugging you up with his fingers. You were still catching your breath when his mouth descended on you again, slurping up his cum as he tongued it back inside of you.

“Hey I just shot this in here, don't spill it now,” he chided, gently nipping your clit before lapping at you again. Your eyes rolled back as he attacked your overwhelmed pussy, his tongue electric on your clit. Fuck, he was nasty. 

“Too much,” you whined, but he continued as if he didn’t hear you. In fact, he grabbed your wrist to force you to grab his hair, groaning when you did. It wasn’t long before you were spasming on his tongue again, crying with pleasure.

“Enough, please!” You cried. He mercifully stopped and rested his head on your abdomen.

“But I thought you wanted to be with me? I'll be with ya all night, doll, so let's get comfortable,” he promised, the sparkle in his eyes promising mischief as he dove in again, the start of an unending night of hedonism. You deserved it, after all, for being dumb enough to want to date a sex fiend like him.

[kuwdora]

Saturday Morning Vid Recs - Animals

@poetikat So I know you like cats.... This post started out as a recs list of cat vids. but then I realized there are a ton of other animal vids that you'll get a kick out of and so here I am, with another batch of goodies for you!

Cats!!

Hug Cats! by @rhea314 and @sandalwoodbox. Multi-source. Like…really multi-source! 😻😻😻😻 Cats cats cats cats cats.

Breaking the Habit by Isagel. My Cat From Hell. This vid will make you crack up, it’s amazing. I don't want to be the one the battles always choose.

Murder (Or a Heart Attack) by sisabet. New Girl. Parenting a cat, lmao. "Introducing the mouse-murderin', the heart burglarin', the king of the kennel, Furguson Michael Jordan Bishop!" --Winston Bishop

Happiness and Home by sternenschnuppendrachenschicksal. The Aristocats. ❤️❤️❤️ Home is where the heart is.

Doggos!

Send Me On My Way by @elipie. Wishbone. Wishbone!! the tv Wishbone! Wishbone in all the costumes and adorableness, this is so much love. We will run, we will crawl.

I'll Be There For You by @eruthros. Pit Bulls and Parolees. Animal rescue and love and hugs. "It's for more than three hundred pitbulls, the world's most misunderstood breed of dog; it's for parolees, the guys I hire because no one else will."

Dreams by eunice. Marley & Me. WARNING: The dog dies. This vid will ruin your soul. It’s full of SO MUCH LOVE. And grief. It’s fucking beautiful and ruinous. Tread with caution.

Puppy Love by cosmic_llin. Multi-source. PUPPIES!!!!! Dolly Parton music and PUPPIES.

They’re Good Dogs Brent by bessyboo, platinumvampyr. We Rate Dogs. This vid is pure joy. h*ckin good dogs.

Times Like These by eunice. All Dogs Go to Heaven. Eunice has a motif of killing dogs but this vid is a little more light. Times like these I learn to live again.

Dinosaurs, Penguins, Horses, Rats, Bears and Duckies, Oh my!

Stay Alive by milly. Land Before Time. Scroll down for the YouTube link on this page. This is another incredible animation throwback and full of so much heart. We'll do whatever just to stay alive.

Every Penguin Dance Now by Mr. Anderson. Happy Feet. Nobody was rocking the vidding dancefloor like Mr. Anderson’s editing back in the day. This vid is a 10000000% must-see.

Heart Alone by sasha_feather. Seabiscuit (2003). Found family! Horses!!!!

The Walker by @rhoboat77. Rataouille (2007). This vid is SO. FUCKING. CUTE. Don't miss this one!

Everything I Do by bironic. Cocaine Bear. Warning for drug use and brief implied bear injury, but this vid is not as graphic as the film. It is, however, extremely hilariously inappropriate laugh out loud funny. I can't help it. There's nothin' I want more.

1234 - A Bear Named Winnie by @kuwdora. A Bear Named Winnie (2004). This is slash vid with a bear at the heart of it all. A live action film based on the bear that inspired Winnie the Pooh. Two men go off to war and parent a bear cub. Oh, you're changing your heart. Scroll down in my vidpost to hear me scream about how this movie was made for me.

Somewhere Only We Know by @kiki-miserychic. Winnie the Pooh. This animated Pooh vid is SO sweet and wonderful! I had to run to the vidder to find a link to share since it's not on YouTube but well worth the download and viewing!

Rubber Duckie by krim. Taskmaster UK. This is so unbearably cute! A Taskmaster celebration of our little yellow friends!

Animals of the Sea

(You Drive Me) Crazy by @CherryIce. Sharknado. I cannot get through this vid without laugh crying. Please please please watch this vid and tell Cherry how much you laughed. Please, do it for me. Baby, I'm so into you.

A-ha by sol-se. Deep Blue Sea. This one makes me CACKLE and howl and slap my knees and also this song is so fucking good and just goddamn amazing. LL Cool J trying to kill a shark with a lighter. The way Solvi uses this song! Brilliant. Scientists experiment on sharks in an isolated ocean lab because that is a good idea. Thomas Jane is a shark wrangler, and LL Cool J is a cook with a parrot. Also, Samuel L. Jackson.

Float On by @such-heights. Finding Meno (2003). ❤️❤️❤️ We all float on, okay.

Selachimorpha by @CherryIce. Aquaman. ….There are not enough words, or any words for this vid. You have to see it for yourself. You will regret me earworming you by reccing this vid but it’s worth it for the hilarious perfection. I promise. Aquaman: Protector of the deep.

More cats!!

Cat Apostle, Conqueror of Asthma, Chosen One Of The Light (Vid) by Rhea. 开端 | Reset (TV 2022) This vid makes me clappyhands with glee. I have six cats.

Three by chaila. The Incredible Dr. Pol. Forever cackling about this adorable cat! Hip-hip-hooray for three!!!! 3 legs, 0 problems.

Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag by AbsoluteDestiny. Maru. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

cats…in Space! by niyalune. Multi-source. This vid will make you grin like a happy kitty lovin’ fool. Also A+++++ song choice. Featuring: pet cats, alien cats, evil cats, sexy cats, internet cats, a couple of lions, two litters of kitties, and one actual, real life space cat.

Previous Saturday Morning Vid Recs:

Space and Robots

Women!

Follow the tags to keep up with recs this summer:

#saturday morning vid recs

#kuwdora vid recs

#kuwdora recs

A help guide I wrote:

How to Leave Feedback on Fanvids

[toomuchracket]

i know we've talked about jealous office nerd but what about girlie? like imagine they ran into his ex or a girl tried to flirt w him or smth

the girl who gets a trial week at the magazine before marianne decides if she wants to hire her - you're not particularly bothered initially when it transpires she's an art writer and thus will be in your and matty's department, but when she LATCHES onto your boyfriend and the questions go from "so is this word limit, like, set in stone? i just have so much to say" at the start of the week to "you know how i've written for frieze? well, i have an in at the team running the art fair, and i think you should come with me this weekend - they've given me a hotel suite we could stay in" at the end of the week... you can't even hear matty's reply from the desk across from yours because your rage is making the blood pump faster into your ears, and luke from film reviews just slides you a pack of cigs and whispers "i think you should maybe go and have one of these. you look murderous, mate" lmfao. but he doesn't have a light on him, so you actually do need to go up to matty and cut the girl off (while blatantly ignoring her) to say "matthew, i need to borrow your lighter" and respond "nope" when he offers to come for a cig too; you're not annoyed at him per se, other than the fact he hasn't told the girl he's with you (although tbf you don't tend to with new people for a minute, because you want to make the magazine seem strictly professional lmao), you just need to decompress alone. you do tell marianne what just happened, when you run into her on her way in, and she just rolls her eyes like "for fuck's sake. don't worry, her work's shit, we're not keeping her on. and don't worry about matty, either - he loves you, babe, and he's not about to throw that away for the frieze fucking art fair". she's right, of course - you don't know what he told the girl, but when you go back in matty moves to sit next to you and asks "can you take a look at this for me, please?", and on his laptop screen is a word doc saying "i love you. sorry about her. i didn't know how to nip her flirting in the bud without being a dick/ruining the professional relationship, and she took it too far. obv i'm not going with her to frieze (this year looks really shit anyway, would've taken you otherwise) and i told her the hotel room thing was inappropriate. and then i didn't hear any of what she said because i got distracted thinking about the inappropriate things we got up to in hotel rooms and also i booked a night away for us tonight so we can recreate them lol. but yes i love you so much xx". it's actually so cute, and you nod at him like "yeah. let me just..." and add a reply like "i love you too. just got a bit upset seeing her like that with you. but i'm sure you'll cheer me up at the hotel xo"; i mean, you do inadvertently end up edging him while you wank him off when you get there, just grumbling about the girl so much you stop moving ("'ohhhhh look at meeeee i've written for frieze ooh!!' i could fucking write for frieze if i wanted. she's not special" and matty's crying desperate to cum nodding like "you definitely could, baby, you're such a good writer FUCK please please just let me cum" lmfao), and while matty's fucking you you're giving it "nobody else feels as good as me, do they, baby? nobody else you wanna fuck, is that right? just me. you're mine, and i'm yours" and he's moaning into your mouth like "just you, only want you, only NEED you. love of my life". it turns a bit sweet at that point, honestly, murmured i love yous and kisses and all that, but it's still a dirty, dirty fuck that ends with cum in you and on you and matty practically passed out from how hard he went to prove you were the only one for him. kinda obsessed actually <3

[amberjazmyn]

cloud nine🫶

pairing : carlos sainz jr x sainz fem!reader

summary : a snippet into the happy life of mr and mrs sainz as we go through a timeline of their friendship, relationship, married life and now family life.

warnings : it's as fluffy as fluff could get! but a couple of swear words if you really need any warnings

a/n : i was in the middle of rewriting an old recycled fic but then decided it was too depressing and i needed a break from recycling old fics so i had a little bit of inspo to make this one! and reader has a name and it's anastasia <3

2015

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 12k others

anastasia.ln did i dye my hair to match bestie carlos? yes...yes i did...

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carlossainz55 now why would you do that carino? why would you ruin your beautiful hair like that?! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carlossainz55 because i didn't like the blonde anymore and i wanted to see if i'd like going brunette???

maxverstappen1 and you say you and carlos aren't dating! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln maxverstappen1 we're not dating, you literal child!

danielricciardo oh girl, you're down bad for carlos! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln danielricciardo i am so not, daniel, stfu before i smother you!

yourbff gurl, no! why would you do that?! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln yourbff because i fucking wanted to? why is everyone so against me trying out new things jesus christ!

anasainzvdc oh carino, no! carlos loves your blonde hair! why did you do that? liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia anasainzvdc i know he does but it's only to see how i'd like it! and honestly, i feel bad that i did it because i know how much carlos loves the blonde so i don't think i'll keep up the maintenance for brunette

anasainzvdc but i do have to say you do look very lovely as a brunette! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln anasainzvdc thank you ana, the first person to say that it does look good even though it's only temporary!

username omg you guys were so adorable even as friends!

2016

liked by anastasia.ln, anasainzvdc, maxverstappen1, carlossainzofficial, reyessainzvdc, danielricciardo and 13k others

carlossainz55 birthday flowers for the birthday girl. feliz cumpleaños alma hermosa happy birthday beautiful soul anastasia.ln. thank you for dropping every single thing you ever wanted to do in your life to travel around the world with me since debuting with formula one. i don't know who or where i'd be without you in my life 🤍

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anastasia.ln carlitos, you'll make me cry! i love you too alma hermoso. i wouldn't wanted to do this life with anyone else but you 🤍liked by carlossainz55

anasainzvdc feliz cumpleaños anastasia! love you forever and always liked by carlossainz55 and anastasia.ln

maxverstappen1 happy birthday anastasia! you're really getting old now! liked by carlossainz55 and anastasia.ln

carlossainzofficial feliz cumpleaños hermosa anastasia! liked by carlossainz55 and anastasia.ln

reyessainzvdc feliz cumpleaños hermosa anastasia! and beautiful choice on the flowers carlitos! liked by carlossainz55 and anastasia.ln

danielricciardo happy birthday anastasia! welcome to the joy of becoming another year older! liked by carlossainz55 and anastasia.ln

username they were being so obvious here before they even soft-launched and we still had no idea!

username username good to know i'm not the only going through their old instagram posts now that they've announced their new news

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, anasainzvdc, yourbff and 14k others

anastasia.ln the last slide just shows how super grateful i am for all the birthday love and wishes (but more from how spoilt i got from carlossainz55 and his family)

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carlossainz55 espero que todo lo que deseabas se haga realidad mi alma hermosa 🤍 i hope everything you wished for comes true my beautiful soul liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carlossainz55 gracias carlitos! todo lo que podría haber deseado ya lo tengo thank you carlitos! everything i could have wished for i already have

maxverstappen1 this is the second time you've cried on your birthday and i still don't get it! but i'm glad you had a good day! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln maxverstappen1 it's tradition at this point maximillian!

danielricciardo and is that all you got from carlos??? liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln danielricciardo i swear to god ricciardo, are you asking to be killed?

anasainzvdc te mereces todo lo que te dieron mi amor you deserved everything you were given my love liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln anasainzvdc gracias ana! todo lo que podría haber deseado ya lo tengo

yourbff happy birthday bestie girl! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln yourbff thank youuu!

username i can't believe they were dating at this point and we still had no real clue!

username username i know right! they used to be so sneaky!

2017

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo, carlossainzofficial, anasainzvdc, maxverstappen1, lewishamilton and 15k others

anastasia.ln now it's carlitos' turn to be showered in birthday love! feliz cumpleaños al carlos más bello, cariñoso, cariñoso, divertido y tonto que he tenido el placer de conocer durante todos estos años happy birthday to the most beautiful, loving, funniest and silliest carlos i have had the pleasure of knowing over all these years. te amo mucho, tienes un alma tan hermosa y nunca quiero que pienses menos i love you so much, you have such a beautiful soul and i never want you to think less.

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carlossainz55 no me hagas llorar anastasia! eso es injusto pero muchas gracias mi amor! yo también te amo don't make me cry anastasia! that's unfair but thank you so much my love! i love you too liked by anastasia.ln

danielricciardo happy birthday carlitos! big thank you anastasia for exposing all these cute photos of baby carlos btw, we appreciate it very much! liked by anastasia.ln

carlossainzofficial feliz cumpleaños hijo! liked by anastasia.ln

anasainzvdc feliz cumpleaños hermano and thank you for posting all of these photos so i didn't have to liked by anastasia.ln

maxverstappen1 happy birthday carlitos!!! and nice photo selection, ana! liked by anastasia.ln

lewishamilton happy birthday carlos! very cute photos you have anastasia! liked by anastasia.ln

username this was such a sweet birthday post!

username username i remember when anastasia posted this omg!

liked by anastasia.ln, danielricciardo, anasainzvdc, reyessainzvdc, lewishamilton and 14k others

carlossainz55 then vs now! thank you to everyone that wished me a happy birthday, i love and appreciate it very much!

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anastasia.ln that photo of baby you is just too cute, carlitos! feliz cumpleaños mi hermosa alma happy birthday my beautiful soul liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 anastasia.ln gracias mi hermosa alma

danielricciardo baby carlos is unbeatable, you were just so cute! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 danielricciardo i know right? i'm glad you agree with me on this

anasainzvdc you were so adorable, carlitos! feliz cumpleaños liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 anasainzvdc wow, this is a first!

reyessainzvdc feliz cumpleaños mi chico hermoso happy birthday my beautiful boy liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 reyessainzvdc gracias mama

lewishamilton happy birthday carlos! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 lewishamilton thank you lewis!

username i remember this birthday post as well!

username username why are we like this?

2018

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, anasainzvdc, sebastianvettel and 15k others

anastasia.ln i guess you could say we've been in love and together for longer than you guys thought...

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carlossainz55 te amo hermosa niña i love you beautiful girl liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carlossainz55 te amo muchos carlitos

maxverstappen1 oh thank god we can finally talk about it liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln maxverstappen1 but we're all blaming daniel right for forcing us?

danielricciardo we've known this for the last three years already but thank god you've finally decided to share it! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln danielricciardo genuinely stfu honey badger, the only reason why we posted this was to shut you up otherwise you would have soft launched us!

anasainzvdc aleluya, pensé que este día nunca llegaría! hallelujah, i thought this day would never come liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln anasainzvdc así que de aquí es de donde carlos saca su dramatismo, ya lo entiendo so this is where carlos gets his dramatics from, i get it now

sebastianvettel good on you guys for keeping it private for so long! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln sebastianvettel thank you seb! it was tough, especially with a super insistent daniel ricciardo next to us but, it's happened now!

username the scream i remember screaming when this post first came out, oof, you needed to be there!

username username and i was there, we were on facetime together and i genuinely think you broke my eardrum!

liked by anastasia.ln, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, nicohulkenberg, charlesleclerc and 15k others

carlossainz55 good to know we could keep you guys on your toes for that long ;)

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anastasia.ln chico descarado descarado cheeky cheeky boy liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 anastasia.ln solo para ti mi amor only for you my love

danielricciardo am i forgiven yet for bugging you two to post your relationship?? liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 danielricciardo ask anastasia, not me!

anastasia.ln danielricciardo no, fuck off daniel

maxverstappen1 yuck, stop being so cute together it's making me want to puke liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 maxverstappen1 just wait until you find love little one, it'll come soon!

nicohulkenberg congratulations for keeping it so quiet for so long! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 nicohulkenberg thank you nico!

charlesleclerc well done you two! keeping everyone guessing! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 charlesleclerc thank you charles!

username i remember this post as well and i screamed just as loud with this one then with anastasia's!

username username once again, i do as well because we were still on facetime when carlos posted this!

2019

liked by carlossainz55, anasainzvdc, landonorris, reyessainzvdc, carlossainzofficial, maxverstappen1 and 16k others

anastasia.ln did you really think we'd soft launch our engagement over three years like we did with our relationship?

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carlossainz55 we could have mi amor my love liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carlossainz55 i'm glad we didn't mi amor!

anasainzvdc i'm glad you didn't! omg i cannot wait to get another sister!!! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln anasainzvdc same here! there is no way i could have waited any longer!

landonorris congratulations you muppets! i better get a wedding invitation in my mailbox! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln landonorris thank you so much landinho and you will definitely be getting an invitation!

reyessainzvdc bienvenida a la familia hermosa hija welcome to the family gorgeous daughter liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln reyessainzvdc gracias mama, ti amo

carlossainzofficial más que feliz de traer otra hija a la familia beyond happy to bring in another daughter to the family liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carlossainzofficial gracias papa, ti amo

maxverstappen1 congratulations you two! can't wait for the wedding! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln maxverstappen1 thank you maxie!

charlesleclerc congratulations you two! what wonderful news liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln charlesleclerc thank you charlie!

danielricciardo screaming and crying! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln danielricciardo yeah we can hear you!

username the best engagement announcement for sure!

username username oh absolutely, if usernamesbf doesn't do this, i don't want it!

liked by anastasia.ln, anasainzvdc, charlesleclerc, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 16k others

carlossainz55 can't wait to make you mrs sainz mi amor

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anastasia.ln yo tampoco puedo bebe i can't either baby liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 anastasia.ln you won't be a l.n for much longer bebe!

anasainzvdc can you just get married now?! we waited three years for you to announce you were dating, i can't wait any longer! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 anasainzvdc patience please, ana!

charlesleclerc beautiful photos carlos! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 charlesleclerc thank you charles!

landonorris you guys! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 landonorris hehehe

maxverstappen1 stop being so cute you two! we get it, you're engaged! liked by carlossainz55

carlossainz55 maxverstappen1 never max!

username gorgeous photos, carlos! liked by carlossainz55

2020

liked by carlossainz55, kellypiquet, carolamtz1, carmenmmundt, lily.mhe and 17k others

anastasia.ln thank you to everyone who made my mamma mia bridal shower the best it could have been! apologies that my hubba hubba carlossainz55 and his groomsmen couldn't be there but we did make sure he + the groomsmen were facetimed in!

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carlossainz55 why didn't the groomsmen infiltrate like in the movie? liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carlossainz55 omg yes, why didn't you guys?! that would have been so fun!

kellypiquet it was a beautiful bridal shower, even without the guys as much as we would have loved for the guys to be there with us! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln kellypiquet thank you kelly! and for sure, it was still such a fun evening

carolamtz1 it was wonderful, dear anastasia! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carolamtz1 thank you carola! i'm glad you could make it!

carmenmmundt fantastic night all round! dare i say, it was better without the guys ;) liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln carmenmmundt oh for sure carm!

lily.mhe it was so much fun, anastasia! it's gotten all of us so excited for the wedding! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln lily.mhe i'm glad you enjoyed it lily! and same here, i'm so excited now!

anasainzvdc the best bridal shower in the world! liked by anastasia.ln

anastasia.ln anasainzvdc absolutely!

username this looks like it would have been so much fun! liked by anastasia.ln

2022

liked by carlossainz55, anasainzvdc, carolamtz1, lily.mhe, kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 17k others

anastasiasainz only took us a year but now i'm mrs sainz

view all comments

carlossainz55 love you mrs sainz liked by anastasiasainz

anastasiasainz carlossainz55 love you mr sainz

anasainzvdc so glad you guys were still able to have the wedding! liked by anastasiasainz

anastasiasainz anasainzvdc i think we all were in the end!

carolamtz1 it was worth the wait for sure! liked by anastasiasainz

anastasiasainz carolamtz1 absolutely worth the wait!

lily.mhe we all look so good in that second photo! liked by anastasiasainz

anastasiasainz lily.mhe i know right! definitely a favourite

kellypiquet beautiful photos, ana! liked by anastasiasainz

anastasiasainz kellypiquet i know right, kelly! i love them all

carmenmmundt the most beautiful bride in the world liked by anastasiasainz

anastasiasainz carmenmmundt oh stop it, carm!

username still the best wedding photos to exist! liked by anastasiasainz

username still in love with the new last name! liked by anastasiasainz

fin (for now)

because i hit the 30-image block, i will be doing a part two that continues from carlos' wedding post from 2022 to the 2024 present! so sorry that i have to break this into a two-part but, i'm just glad i finally had a sprout of inspiration!

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[marshmallowprotection]

Hey Kait! I'm not sure if somebody's asked this before, but what do you think SE Saeran's process of falling in love would be? How would he perceive the feelings at first? Would he even know what it was? Would he be confused? Resist, ignore? Even be frightened of it? Do you think he'd avoid his mc like the plague because he doesn't want to burden them with him because he's 'broken goods', or, would he welcome those feelings as something new and something good? 🤔💖

I think it hugely depends on one simple fact. Did he know you when he was in Mint Eye or not? Because, his actions are going to change depending on that answer. If he didn't know you, then his emotions are likely tangled together in a way similar to what you mentioned to me.

It's more likely that you'll see him pull away from somebody who is compassionate and considerate of his needs because they don't know what he's done and who he was before they met him. He just doesn't know what it feels like to be treated with compassion without someone wanting something in return, the nature of his relationship with Mint Eye was that of take-take-take. It took everything from him and he never saw a single return. 

When you don't know what it's like to not only give everything you have to give to people you care about but receive it in return, it can make relationships feel imbalanced. He wouldn't want somebody to give him their all only to realize that he may not be capable of doing that. It's going to take a long time before he's ready to get into a relationship, and even when he gets into a relationship, it may take even longer for him to learn his boundaries and how to communicate his wants and needs. 

I don't think he would avoid you like the plague, but I do think it may feel that way at first when you're trying to get to know him. If you don't know what kind of person he is, you might misunderstand his body language. He is uncomfortable with people getting too close to him, so you need to respect his boundaries as you get to know him so he can feel more comfortable with you around. He has spent most of his life feeling like a caged animal, so anything you can do to help him not feel like he's trapped will make a hell of a difference in the way he thinks about you. 

But, even if you do everything right, even if you respect his boundaries, even if you give him the space he needs as you become his friend first and foremost, he will undeniably face insecurities and fears along the way. He does feel like he's damaged goods! Why in the world would anybody want to be close to somebody who has to fight himself every morning to find a reason to survive?

That's how he feels about himself. He can't always promise that he's going to have a good day, and he doesn't want to ruin somebody else's day because of it. Even if you make him feel good, better than he's ever felt, how could he not be afraid of what might happen if you get too close to him? 

It's not even that he would doubt your ability to defend yourself or hold your own against him, it's more so that he can't understand why you would give somebody like him a chance to begin with. If you knew his hands were tainted with blood, would you feel the same? I don't think you have to fight him to make him like you.

For him to become your friend in the first place means that he already liked your company.

You're not going to jump into a relationship with him without having been his friend for a couple of months, and even that is a process. He doesn't know how to communicate what he's feeling on the inside. Imagine the inside of his head like a box with a bunch of trinkets in it that you like to shake. There are a lot of things going on inside his head, some good, some bad, and once they get all mixed up, it's hard to explain what's going on. 

The easiest thing to do would be to avoid you if he can't tell you how he's feeling.

But, since you love him, you probably are a pretty stubborn person. Sometimes, you need to be a little bit stubborn with him because just like his brother, he might try to pull away to spare you what he thinks to be damaged goods. You don't have to be the one to make him believe he's priceless, you just need to smile at him so he can learn that lesson for himself. You can't fix him, and you shouldn't be trying to fix him, but you can love him for who he is and that's when he'll realize that he doesn't have to hate himself. 

He doesn't have to fester.

He doesn't have to suffer.

He can live.

He can even live happily.

[thewertsearch]

Second part of the giga-ask compilation!

@publicuniversalworstie asked: Why assume the Horrorterrors would know that changing events would create a doomed timeline? That assumes both A) that the horrorterrors know the future and B) that they don't think it can really be changed. Maybe they genuinely thought they could change things, such as by perhaps fulfilling all the requisite loops a different way? Imagine a scenario where a time traveler learns of their death, therefore being destined to die, and instead fake their death to create the conditions under which they learned of the death originally.

It's possible. But if the Horrorterrors do have a way to trick the Alpha Timeline like that, then they've really been holding out on us by not mentioning it to the Players. Such a revelation would completely change the game - we might even be able to fake the Earth's death.

Anonymous asked: i want to learn more about coding to analyze homestuck better - do you have a place i could start? resources? idk love the liveblog hope you're doin well :]

Absolutely! I've got two separate answers for you, depending on what your goal is here.

If your main goal is just to analyse Homestuck, then you’re probably best off picking a language whose syntax is easy to understand, such as Python. You'll pick up on the basic logic pretty quickly, and the ~ATH snippets will start to make a lot more sense.

If you’re actually interested in programming for its own sake, then I recommend you start with my own first language, C. It’s a lot harder for a newbie to get to grips with, but doing so will give you a much more solid theoretical foundation then ostensibly ‘easier’ languages.

W3schools is a decent starting resource for both languages - but if you need more specific guidance, let me know, and I'd be happy to help!

@skelekingfeddy asked: actually grubmom having the same color wires as in that pic of sahlee wasnt intentional! i based it on how sollux’s game grubs have red and blue wires attached to them

Serendipity!

Anonymous asked: Did you run any mysterious ~ath programs on that computer of yours?

Honestly, running ATH on that thing would probably have improved it.

Anonymous asked: One voice headcanon I have for Terezi is the English dub of Power from Chainsaw man

Honestly, she sounds pretty much exactly how I imagine Terezi does. She even has the horns!

@martinkhall asked: I'm surprised none of the suggested instruments for a time player were an ocarina.

Some fruit is just too low-hanging.

@delicate-ruins asked: what's an animal you like that you think doesn't show up very much in media, be it fiction or news or just generally? example: i like secretary birds. but except for videos about them, i have never heard them references.

They're not obscure, per se, but there will never be enough sloths in media. The only fictional sloth of note is Sid from Ice Age – and he does not do them justice.

Capybaras are also underrated as hell – so much so that LibreOffice, which I'm using to edit this compilation, doesn’t even recognize the word as real!

Anonymous asked: “I’m trying to figure out if it’s fully a Breath outfit, or if there’s some Heir stuff too.” the general rule for god tier outfits is that the colors and symbol represent the aspect, the clothes represent the class. so, for example, if two princes of different aspects ascended, their clothing style would be the same but they would a have different color scheme. @skaiandestiny asked: If you haven't already figured it out, class informs the godtier outfit and aspect informs the colors and icon!

In that case, there is something about John’s outfit that says ‘heir’ – but nothing really stands out to me.

@driventopoison asked: Hey, I don't know if it's just me but it seems like you've skipped ahead. I have been following your liveblog daily, but I haven't seen you come across the windy thing yet. Is this because you were using the app or something? Also just want to let you know that I love your liveblog. Keep up the good work!

Thank you! Anyway, John’s Windy Thing is indeed documented on the liveblog, and it’s visible to me. I was using the app for some of that segment, though – are app-made posts particularly buggy?

@classpecting-guide-official asked: story about a modded game of sburb where the characters notice that something isn't right and slowly realize that their world is a lie

Back in Act 1, this is pretty much what I thought was happening. It was a simpler time.

@ignis-cain asked: Note the colors the capslock flashes for WV.

When WV locks his capsule, the button’s light flashes red and green – but I’m not sure what the significance of these colors is, in this situation.

Anonymous asked: i know i'm SUPER late to answer this, but i think the instantiation thing is the same as any video game, newly made with a prebaked history. when you name your character, that has been their name for their whole life, even though you thought it up a few seconds ago. when you enter the medium, the planet has a history and the denizens have memories, even though they just showed up when you entered.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is indeed what’s going on. The implications are just a lot more wild when the game is physically real, rather than virtual!

@kintatsu asked: So, I know I'm a little late to the party, but I have to point out: Alternian sunlight doesn't need to be THAT much stronger than Earth's to blind Terezi as quickly as it did. Trolls are nocturnal, which means they almost definitely have a tapetum lucidum (eyeshine membrane), which means that however much light entered Terezi's eyeballs? Her retinas were blasted by every photon twice.

Damn, Vriska. For a second, I thought this ask was explaining why Terezi wasn't in as much pain as I'd thought - but this alternate explanation might actually be worse than what I was picturing!

@delicate-ruins asked: It's delightful to see somebody read Homestuck and be as charmed by it as I and a lot of my friends were way back when we first read it, and the calm, digesting pace at which you're enjoying it is honestly so nice. I rushed way too much to catch up since my friends recommended it in about 2016, which means I went from knowing nothing about the comic to being caught up on it in like a week. I never sat down with the ideas and thought "hey, does this mean XYZ?" because quite often I got the answer five seconds later as I rushed to catch up. But seeing you asking those questions is so so fun. Yeah, DOES it mean that?? Guess we'll find out! In the meantime, we get to guess, which means we basically get to have fun twice. It's reigniting my enjoyment of homestuck quite significantly, I think!

Thank you! It’s really nice to be able to engage in a dialogue about the comic through these asks, which is something that wouldn't be possible if I was speeding through it. As I always say, I'm here for a good time and a long time.

@manorinthewoods asked: Alright, here's another transtimeline fun fact. Each of the kids was supposed to have a Quest related to their associated material - John had a land covered in oil, Rose's ocean was polluted with chalk, the gears of LOHAC were gummed by amber, and LOFAF was in a nuclear winter. Ultimately, while the ocean of LOLAR is still chalky, nothing but John's oil made the cut. ~LOSS (16/5/23)

I think it was a good change, then. Not everything has to be a pattern, and Dave's two weird maybe-quests are a lot more unique and interesting than a generic 'materials quest'.

@captorations asked: oh hey, this walkaround! so funny story, i used to run a blog where i posted one of terezi’s canon appearances each day, in order. yes, i completed my task, and more besides. however! when i was wandering through this as terezi, a glitch rendered me trapped. i decided that this counted as a noteworthy appearance, and took a screenshot. then, by sheer coincidence, it ended up being posted on… halloween. it was pretty great (also don’t forget to check out ctrl + t)

You accessed the double-secret version of Past Karkat: Wake Up, which plays the Earthbound Halloween Hack version of Megalovania rather than the Homestuck one.

Anonymous asked: Personally, I think John gaining so many levels so quickly is tied to his role as the heir - he gains so many levels without really trying, not because he's better than the trolls or his friends, but because he just kind of falls into it. The game rewards him for taking the path of least resistance.

That certainly makes sense if we just look at John - but I have trouble reconciling this interpretation with our other Heir. Equius certainly has some advantages, but they aren't exactly unique to him, as you'd expect them to be if his Heir class was responsible for them.

Yes, he's a highblood, but he's outranked by three non-Heirs - and his strength doesn't seem to be unique either, as Feferi seems capable of similar feats. Perhaps Equius will trip and fall into more unique privilege, but it hasn't happened yet.

Anonymous asked: my personal headcanons for midnight crew claspects: Slick - Prince of Blood, Droog - Mage of Space, Boxcars - Knight of Heart, Deuce - Bard of Doom. knowing you youre probably gonna attempt to analyse these LOL

Slick has had ties to Blood since he first met Karkat, so that tracks - and Boxcars is a shipper, so Nepeta's aspect is probably the best fit for now. I'm not sure about the other two, but I'll revisit them later!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi! So it's evermore anon here and... a LOT of things happened from the last time.

Basically I got a bunch of bravery out of nowhere and told my parents basically everything. Unexpected? Yes (for me too 💀). Explaining a bit better, one morning going downstairs for breakfast my mom tells me that she needs to speak to me (I was terrified). Basically the issue was that she found my school diary, and she found some music lyrics containing the word "bitch". I saw nothing wrong, because from my perspective if I'm good at school, I have good grades and a good behavior, some ramdom lyrics that I scribbled down will definitely not ruin my reputation. But from her (+my dad) perspective, that's something TERRIBLE, not respectful and other shit. Sigh. I hate how they assume that they're right js because they're older, and how they give too much weight to things that are completely weightless for me. But ANYWAYS, after that I went to the bathroom (I cried because I constantly feel like they only care about my school results, while they don't see everything behind what I do to actually achieve those grades) I said to myself "se non ti apri adesso quando stracazzo lo fai? Quando ti ricapita una situazione del genere?" (=If you don't open up now, when the hell are you going to? When does a situation like this happen to you again?). So I sat down and told them about me being atheist, me maybe having adhd and my sexuality. Sigh. That was hard as fuck. And yes, they were alright w it, but it wasn't a clear "we love you anyways", they started telling me lot of things that I in fact did NOT understand at all. Things like "maybe one day you'll feel god calling you" (?? Like? Dad wtf??) and "okay, you could be lesbian, but don't think abt it only in that way, stay open to have also a relationship with a boy!" (Mom??! What the hell. She was basically telling me that I'm too young to know it) Sigh. But what's important it's that they don't hate me!! I still have a home!! And for the adhd thing, my mom's searching if there's any centre near us that we can go to before actually going to a specialist.

I'm pretty happy about this result, even tho I feel to much exposed, knowing that they actually KNOW things about me. Now I gotta tell my friends. Sigh. (I'm also in physical and mental need of a gf 😖)

Uhhh thank you SO MUCH for "listening" <3

also in 8 hours I will be closed in prison (my school). I genuinely wanna cry. I hate having to socialise with too much people and being forced to speak to teachers. (I would love to do homeschool, but my mom would never accept it) I already have anxiety for all of the tests 😞.

<3

Hi!

I'm glad your parents were as accepting as you could have hoped. Hopefully in the future they realize that this is not a phase and it's a part of you. I'm also so glad your mom is looking into a possible diagnosis for you!

Remember that you don't have to come out to anyone until you're ready <3 You don't owe that to anyone!

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Summary: Adlai and Celer finish their discussion, while something brews in the Old Ruins of Micah. If one can state that they are… actually in the Old Ruins. Meanwhile Solara is still in Clover, while she feels something that puts her even more on edge than what she already is

A/N: Hiya! I have taken another couple of months, because I don't want to miss anything crucial in canon. But. Here I am, delivering a little something and continuing down the same direction as planned. Hope you like it Length: ~4.0k Warnings: I continue on the same themes as previously, so I trust that if you've gotten this far, you'll handle where we are Tag list: @loosesodamarble @succulentsunrise

Chapter 8: Harp and tears

[“Where are you going?”] It was a fair question, asked after the meeting, in the room, with crystals that couldn’t be named by less knowledgeable men.

Celer, the oldest, and the only child of the House of Curiosi, gave Adlai, the one that was living and breathing Thea’s safety, a look.

But the look was about as informative as the silence, the empty hallway around them. Which is why Ad shook their head, and pushed his chin outwards a little as he did so, as if to try and fish out the information; hear the silence better.

However, the frown on Ad’s face, spoke of how little he understood the look.

To which Celer let out a soundless sigh. Not even a whisper. A flow of air. And placed their hands between them and Ad, palm side up for him to place his hands on top of theirs.

And he did.

Ler tapped. And tapped.

Two taps to the tip of their index finger.

[“Okay...”] Ad sighed. [“The ruins need tending, and I’ll... stay here.]”

Ler nodded. Just nodded. And let their palms lower down, so that the hands of the two people no longer met.

Someone needed to be there. In those ruins, to listen to the blasted ringing of the damned silver bells, the sound of which was nearly deafening to one’s ears.

Almost, but not quite.

After all, they had lived their entire life, listening to the bells.

It was only during the most recent years that the sound had grown so loud. So, soul shatteringly loud that it almost made one’s ears bleed. If one could hear them to begin with, that was.

A blessing and a curse, wrapped in one. Because while they could hear it, they couldn’t do anything about it.

Their hands could not touch the strings or the ropes. Even if their ears could hear the sound.

A lacking state of being that was exactly like that of mortals.

Limited.

But... the way the toll rang with silence, spoke to him. Told a tale of something brewing. Something... being about to happen.

They just didn’t know what it was, which is why they had to go there, to the old Ruins of Micah, and see for themselves.  

----

I wonder.... I wonder what that is... behind the surface. It’s blurry and too unclear to tell, but... there was something behind sister. There is something else in the room as well. But I just... don’t remember what it was. What it is. If it was there to begin with.

It must’ve.

Because the researchers of Old Micah made the room to be what it was.

This place was just an accident. An added bonus.

Or, well, an added bonus to me.

Lady Indomita says that it’s an anomaly. Something that shouldn’t be, and yet... here it is.

Not that she finds this place to be meaningful. Because it’s not as if... I can do anything else than observe here. Observe the way the threads, strings and ropes wind in their eternal dance. Mostly alone, and sometimes with... whatever that being is... but it’s nice to have company.

She placed her hand close to the surface of the mirror, the gate and the passage. Just let it hover there, without touching, and made the mirror vibrate, sent rippled course over it from the anticipation of someone going through after such a long time.

A fraction of an eternity.

I wonder... I wonder why this relic was created in the first place... and how the people of Micah came to have it....

She tipped her ring finger through the surface without effort. Which sent a wave of warmth over her. As if a whisper. A greeting. A friendly hello after being found.

The complete opposite of how she had felt, while entering the space in which she now existed.

This sensation... felt like home.

Like a home she wasn’t sure she could remember. Like one that she didn’t know how to feel about. And which, almost made her forget all the reasons why she had decided to walk away from the world, and shut herself here instead.

Because here there was no judgement. There was no wrong she could do.

After all, she was just an observer. Not a doer. Nothing was in her hands.

And yet, there she was. Centuries since then. By the door, the passage, and the mirror, about to go back into the world, which must’ve changed so very much during her absence.

But strangely enough, she wasn’t afraid.

A little apprehensive sure, but not quite afraid. Because this time she was... more curious about the world than she could remember ever feeling. After having sat on her thoughts and feelings for years. Thinking about what was her place in existence. What was her reason to be. And what should she do with it. What should she do with her life?

She didn’t have an answer.

But perhaps... perhaps it lied behind the surface of the liquid glass of the mirror.

‘Do or die’... isn’t that what they say? That there are different kinds of deaths and... how... if I stay, I know that nothing will change. Not for myself, nor for anyone else either. And... thought the threads would continue to twist and turn... maybe... maybe I could do something?

But there is no guarantee... that it’d be good. I could do damage. I could commit unspeakable horrors by not knowing what I’m doing.

Or then I could grant blessings that would fall second to only those granted by the heavens above. Heavens that must be empty...

I could do nothing at all, or then I could.... try to do something.

Which... I suppose is the question. Would I rather try to do good, or do nothing at all, and know, for certainty, that the good will not happen. Unless by some miracle.

Though miracles can be done by people too... depending on one’s definition of a miracle, of course, but... if I wish something to happen, I should at least try to do so.

Right?

...Right?

She took a deep breath, and stepped forward.

A single step. An embrace of warmth. A passing whisper that she couldn’t quite make out. After which she stood in a room.

And in that room, she saw with clarity the shape, the item, that had been in the background for as long as she could remember; and for as long as she could remember wondering what it was.

In the room, lied a harp.

----

Solara’s eyes scanned the area around.

The flames and the roar of Mereoleona.

Up in the sky, a distance away, there was another being with wings. Who seemed intent on attacking the Silvas. Against whom Noelle was battling.

Water against steel.

Until there was a flash of another kind of grey. Much more fluid and lighter in colour. Which assumed the shape of a man. Most likely Nozel.

The screams and the yells, coupled with the sounds of explosions ringing in the air, despite the battles won amidst the ongoing war.

I hope... Please... let them win. I’ll take any victory that would be given to u-

She winced. Leaned forward and curled around herself from the sudden spike of pain.

Did you two just kick mom again? She asked while trying to wobble closer to a nearby wall, so that she might lean onto it for support. Please... this is not the time. I know that you’re scared. I know. I know... she closed her eyes and pressed her back against the bricks, while feeling none of the cold due to the armour that was still around her. I know, she repeated within the depths of her mind. I am too... for your sake. And your father’s sake.

She glanced up, towards the scene where fire raged. Where the smell of burning flesh still lingered.

Where so many brave and valiant lives had been taken.

Salamander is still there... the largest form of those that were left. Which means that he must be too... she reasoned to herself while feeling that the world, or at least hers, was still somewhat in tact.

A feeling, a sensation, that she couldn’t quite explain. It just didn’t make any sense. Not while on such a field of battle. Amidst all the chaos and the screams. She shouldn’t have felt the kind of whisper, a lingering sliver of hope.

It must’ve been insanity.

But... in a place that is filled with despair, isn’t the nearly non-existent trace of hope the very thing that keeps people going? Because they simply have to believe that something good will follow. That something... if not them, then those they care about, will survive and prevail. Is that not the reason to keep going?

The feeling? No matter how unlikely and unreasonable? Because sometimes one has to defy reason, and have fate instead. That things will turn for the better.

Or then it was the feeling, the quiet reassurance that she felt in her very soul, told to her by the strings of fate that were still golden instead of stained with carmine. That the steady pulse, as if a squeeze in her hand, and a whisper in her heart, was still alive and radiant, rather than smeared by the very thing that flowed through their veins, keeping them alive.

He had to be alive.

He had to.

Simply had to.

She didn’t care if it might’ve been just a fable in which she wanted to believe due to the feeling. Because of the things she could see.

It just had to be true.

It’ll be alright, little ones... it’ll be-

“Ugh-“ she placed her hand onto her stomach and winced again.

Please don’t... oh no... little ones... please tell me that you are kicking me and not... her eyes opened and gaze flickered around without seeing anything around her. It was as if her eyes were trying to follow ideas bouncing around in her head, but did so with a faint sense of terror. Please don’t tell me that you didn’t choose this moment... she whispered within the confines of her own mind. Practically prayed to whatever non-existent being that might be able to hear her. When we said that we can’t wait to meet you, we meant it. We, from the bottom of our hearts, meant it, but.... Darlings... this is not the time.

She took a deep breath. As deep as she could, and tried to calm herself down. Let the burning pain subside, even if with one second at a time.

This is not... the time... Okay... Okay... calm down. Calm down... You know about this. Yes. You know this... If-, *if* this is it, then the contractions will take a long while. There are women who are admitted into the hospital, and spend the next day or two in this stage. So, it’s not like the kids are coming out right now. Yeah. So, there’s... well there is a lot of things to worry about, and staying here while in heavy labour is ... not ideal. By any means. It’s less than less ideal. But I have time to get ... somewhere else.

She took steady breaths while leaning against the wall, and kept her eyes closed for as long of a moment as she dared while trying to shut out her mana output. Make herself seem as difficult to notice as possible.

So... calm down. Calm down... you have time. So... for now, just focus on making yourself seem like as little of a threat as possible. No grand source of mana. No threat. Or at least as small of a threat as possible. And just... figure out where to go. The portal here I can’t use. The same applies to the one in the dungeon. Or... I could, but opening it would take a long, long while. Though I do have time.

She hesitated for a moment.

I hope... I should, have time.

Her eyes opened, and her head turned towards the direction where she knew home, the Vermillion estate to be.

Home is... too obvious. And will probably be burned down, if this goes on for long enough. The same applies to the castle, and the Crimson Lion Kings’ headquarters. So, while I would be able to make myself seem as harmless as possible, and to possess as little mana as possible, those places themselves can be targets.

Which meant that going to the places where she felt most at home, the most comfortable, was not an option.

But also... she glanced back towards the wall, where she knew her husband to be. Should I just... leave? Without... but how would I tell him? I can’t exactly reach out to him and... he did... throw away his-, no. That doesn’t mean anything. She brought her hand onto the charm around her neck; the other half of which she knew to be around his neck. He was... terrified.

She thought back to the moment. Just a few minutes prior. Tens of minutes. But minutes that had seemed far longer than that.

He was... scared...

The expression he had held. The angry. Horrified. Pale expression on his face. And the way he had grabbed onto the ring that had allowed for her to come to him, and tossed it onto the cobble stones under her feet.

He... was... He sent us away from... all this. Which is why he... it was fear. I must’ve been. Not anger at... me... Or maybe me too, but I just... she looked towards the direction again, but only briefly; as if she no longer had the strength to look for any longer.

So if I just disappear, after he has come to know that I *am* here, then he’d... I don’t know what he’d do... Because the reason why he stayed was because he... He is a dutiful man and he wanted to give us time to... If the world is going to end because of this, then at least he could make it more... difficult for the enemy and... I just...

She squeezed her eyes shut, and tried to fight off the tears that kept collecting behind her eyes. The grief and the fear that took on the form of burning hot tears; almost as if corroding, that seemed intent on rolling down her cheeks and falling onto the same cobble stones of the Kingdom of Clover, that had played a tune, as if a melody, with the piece of precious metal of Fuegoleon’s wedding band when it had been cast away.

The ocean of pain and grief that twisted and turned within her.

I just can’t... What am I supposed to do? Because... if I do tell him? When? Would it place him in more danger? When would it place me and our children in... not as much more danger? Or do I just go, and let him believe that we’ve disappeared. In which case he’d presume that we’ve died and then he’d... He would...

Her lips quivered, and a whimper escaped from her throat. Because the thought that was at the edge of her consciousness, she didn’t dare let in. She didn’t want to think it. Didn’t want to even consider it.

While knowing that she had to, if she was going to make this decision.

I don’t know what he’d do... she thought as the sob, the muffled cry that she had tried to swallow, broke through the air.

She hunched forward, almost as if it had been her body in pain, rather than her soul. But in reality, it was both. Because she could feel the pain in her body too. And not just in the way she was biting down her molars to the point where, had she managed to give it a conscious thought, she would have feared to be breaking her own teeth.

But a thought came through. A faint whisper.

My CCE... I still have it and he... He must have his as well. So... if he only looks at it.... That would be enough, right? It would be enough? So, if I go, and try to open the portal in the dungeon, to go back to Thea, then... he’d know...

She wasn’t quite delusional enough to trust that he’d feel the lingering sense of hope, which she felt, of him being alive through it all. Because her state of deliria was aided by the fact that she could see Salamander, if nothing else. That she could get glimpses, passing whispers of his mana around. Which confirmed her bias; the wish to believe in him being alive.

There was another spike of pain through her, which made her curl around herself, even if only a little.

That ... should be enough... Yes... it should be enough and then he wouldn’t... need to worry, as much, I think, because... even if ... If the worst would happen, the depths of that forgotten dungeon, previously a research facility, isn’t the most sensible place to look for. For anyone. At least an individual and... while our children are royalty, and royalty of this country, they’re not... there is no reason to pursue them to the extent.  

She had to believe in the thought. In the idea that it made sense. That leaving royalty of a country one was taking over, alive, was okay. Because it wasn’t just Clover being an intended target of being overthrown.

It was the world.

So now I... I need to think of our children. And he’d...

She swallowed while straightening her back.

We promised to each other. To always put our children first.

The bitter taste on her tongue still lingered.

We promised. And... if I’m going to... keep a promise then I need to... This would be it, right? If nothing else, and if I can manage to leave then... I should...

She tried to reason with herself while swallowing again. But still the bitter taste of the thoughts refused to go down. And she had a feeling that it wouldn’t be becoming any easier any time soon. Rather, she thought it would become even more nauseating.

Right?

She asked herself.

Right...? I should try to... leave... right?

----

I should check on Lara... just in case... Adlai thought while walking out of the Curiosi estate. I know that she needs time and space to grieve, while... preparing herself for labour. Though the due date isn’t for quite some time now. Not that they didn’t say that the kids couldn’t be born prematurely. Especially because it’s twins. But still... I like to think that she can... focus on one thing at a time, rather than having to go into labour during the same day as her husband is supposedly killed.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked with a slouched posture. Because... while he felt it necessary to go see his friend, he didn’t know how on earth he could do so while holding his head up high.

I know that she’s... upset that we’re not helping them, but... it’s their king. The leader of their military. Against their own country. It’s nothing short of a civil war. As absurd as it might seem. Because it’s... from my understanding, essentially one man against an army. He grimaced while setting off into the air, and towards the Equinox estate. Though he can always recruit mercenaries. Which isn’t... against the law. Technically speaking. But since the perpetrator is still, the enemy of the state, is the leader of said estate, or at least one of them, we have no right to intervene as a foreign country.

He had had to remind himself of the fact time and time again. Because... while he was an official, nobility, and a head of security, or would be in some years, he was also a friend and a man. Which also meant that he wasn’t heartless.

And... sending one or two... if those individuals so wished, wouldn’t really make a difference. If anything, it’d be one or two losses from our strengths, which, should the war eventually escalate here. If the king is successful in Clover and begins invading other countries that is. Should the war then come here, we’d need all man power we can get.

His eyes stayed down, as he tried to reason with himself.

In many ways, it’s the same situation as it was before, with the devils. Only that devils don’t know, or care, about the borders between countries. While people, more often than not, do. So... in this instance, laying low and caring for our own, makes sense. Not interfering with the internal matters of another state, makes sense. And he... always has a choice to become a refugee...

There was a bitter taste to the thought. Not because he would have, particularly, minded about Fuegoleon coming to stay in Thea permanently, but because the status in itself was, to anyone, a sorrowful one.

He is a good man and... He could do good here too. But... he doesn’t want to leave, and I get that. He doesn’t want to turn his back to his people, which I respect.

His chin lifted, even if only slightly, as his destination came into sight.

She picked a good one, the thought was bitter. Even more so than the one before. It just... seems that it wasn’t meant to be. At least for the long run.

He set down, and began walking into the building.

I just... what do I even say...? ‘How are you?’ Well obviously she’s doing bad because of all of this. ‘Would she like to talk?’ Probably not, because how does one even begin talking about something like this? ‘Do you want to go for a walk?’ While nearing the due date? Short walks, sure, but a longer one no. Unless mandatory, but... where would she need to go now? And I don’t think she’d even want to. For more reasons than that.

He was let in, and asked if he could go see her. Which he was allowed to do. Only that her whereabouts weren’t known. Just that she had last been seen heading out.

To which he thanked, and sighed.

I don’t like doing this... he thought to himself, while whipping out his CCE. But as long as she has her CCE with her, which most of the time she does, like everyone else, I can track her.

His fingers tapped onto the screen with hesitation, despite him having the best intentions in mind.

I just... don’t think she should be alone too much. Not at the moment...

He let the device run its search, but in the end, the result that showed on the screen, made Ad frown.

Out of reach... Does that... Is it turned off? Or is she under ground? Maybe at the castle...? He turned to look towards the direction of the castle, the white marble towers of which still reached towards the skies. Just as he could remember them always having been.

I could... run the more advanced search... he thought. I do need to write a report about it though, but... I think it’s alright... considering the situation... he pondered, knowing fully well that this search would reach down to the lower levels of the castle as well; into places that were off limits for most of the time. Not the highest grade of device search, but close to it. And the highest grade that he could personally conduct.

Alone at least.

So, he chose the other option, and began waiting.

And he waited. And waited. And waited...

Can’t this bloody countdown go any faster? He slightly cursed in his mind as the numbers flashed on the screen, little by little getting closer to completion.

And as they did, another frown settled onto his face.

One that made cold chills run down his spine, because... from what he knew, all portals had been shut down today. No one was to go in, or out. And he hadn’t gotten an alert of any unlawful, unexpected travels from, or to, Thea.

But still, the device in his hand, was adamant of the location.

Solara was in Clover Kingdom.

[howi99]

Project A.R.C chapter 7

Ruby: *screaming* I CAN SEE THE RUIN WEISS! W'ILL NEED TO JUMP!

WEISS: *Screaming too* HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! WE DON'T HAVE TREES TO STOP OUR FALL!

Nevermore: "CAW" *try to deloge them*

Weiss: *get kicked in the face, falling* YOU'LL PAy for thisssss-

Ruby: Well, no time like the present... *Jump*

_____

Jaune stopped running for a moment

Pyrrha: I *huf* think*huf* we lost the deathstalker.

Jaune: ... Is that Ruby and Weiss falling from a nevermore?

Pyrrha: *huf* ... What?

Jaune: *sigh* I'll catch snow angel, try to get Ruby. If it looks like she is struggling, i guess you could pin her to a tree?

Pyrrha: *rolling her eyes* Oh ah ah! Very funny. But i can't se- *hear Weiss cursing Ruby and the Deathstalker* Nevermind.

Jaune: *take a dashing position, run and jump to get weiss* Got you, ice princess.

Weiss: *flustered* Get your hand off me! I-i could have landed by myself!

Jaune: *deadpan* Sure, you flailing your arm like a demon certainly was to summon your glyphs.

Weiss: *getting out of his arms, then sticking a finger on his torso* I'll have you know i-

Ruby: Heeeeelp!

Weiss: just a minute *use her glyphs to slow down Ruby, saving her of getting impaled to a tree by pyrrha*

Ruby: *landing* Thank you besty!

Weiss: Like i was saying; i, of course, was planning to use my glyphs before you save me. You just didn't let me any time!

Jaune: I frankly don't care what you think, 5 more seconds and you would have hurt yourself on the ground. Not enough to kill you but i don't think you'd be useful with a shattered aura.

Weiss: *Humph* Ruby, let's go get our relics.

Ruby: uh fine? Still, thanks for the help Jaune. And you too Pyrrha, even though you didn't have the time.

Pyrrha: I'm sorry!

[aki-shun]

Hi I saw that your requests are open ( this is my first time requesting so please tell me if I’m doing this right😅) I was wondering if you can do some smut with Sebek and GN or male reader thank you🥰

I love you works btw

Let Me Heal You

I hope you know why it's taken me so long to write this. Now.. First time someone praised my work! In this way.

I hope you will like it. It's been a long time since you've asked me for this, so I'm going to keep it as long as possible.

Sorry for bad grammar (English is not my first language)

⊱──────༻𓆩✦𓆪༺──────⊰

[R] `Reader [M] `Malleus [Si] `Silver [Se] `Sebek

You tried to pass through the corridors of the castle to the infirmary section. There were castles and towers on each side of the Briar Valley. Some of them had fallen into ruins. Some of them are still standing and in use. You are now in one of them. You have to be prepared for all kinds of situations. That's the job. The castle's doctor.

Recently, King Malleus Draconia came to the castle. During his time there was an assassination attempt against him. The assassination did not happen thanks to its early detection. But some soldiers were injured. There were no vital injuries, simple scratches and bruises. More importantly, the castle was safe. The assassins were some of the soldiers who had just arrived at the castle. But that's not what matters right now.

When the assassins were captured, the light green-haired one of the King's soldiers accompanying Draconia made a small attack against the assassins. The other soldiers tried their best to stop him, but they could not calm him down. When a soldier with silver hair realized that they were not going to stop him, he stopped the soldier with physical violence, a little harsh. Of course, you weren't there at that time, you went down to the warehouse to refill the medicine bottles that were finished.

You hurried up the stairs before you were finished with the news from the soldiers. You learned about all this from one of the soldiers as you made your way to the infirmary. The corridors of the castle were swarming with soldiers, making it difficult for you to run. You finally reached the infirmary. Your assistant, who took care of the wounded soldiers in the infirmary, told you that the green-haired soldier mentioned was in the other room. Along with the soldier lying in the bed when you entered the room were King Draconia and a silver-haired soldier. After greeting the king, you turned to the wounded soldier. He was indeed 'a little' hurt.

The blow he took was really strong. There is damage in the left inner ear region. There is a minor shaking in the cerebellum region. He wakes up this evening, but should not get out of bed for 3-4 days. [R]

I'm sorry, Your Highness, I just wanted to stop him. [S]

It happened, Silver. Besides, you should apologize to your comrade lying in bed, not me. [M]

Yes, Your Highness. [Si]

তততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

I don't need to rest! Get out of my way! [Se]

You'll be on the ground the moment you stand up, you idiot! [R]

If there is one thing you hate in this life; those are patients who do not listen to words. And if his voice reverberates throughout the room.

You need to rest. Please do not cause difficulties. [R]

Hmp, I am the bodyguard of Great Lord Malleus Draconia. I don't need rest. Because of a simple hit. [Se]

May the big seven give you patience. No words get in through those rusty ears. The soldier got out of bed, grumbling, and after taking a step, he could not stand and fell. You warned him.

I warned you. [R]

Hm-p [Se]

You helped the man get up and dropped him on the bed for him to lie down. He was just about to say something to this situation when he saw your angry gaze. He has decided to take your advice, most likely because of his recent experience.

‿︵ʚ・Time to smut・ɞ︵‿

You don't know how it happened. (I don't know to ( ﾟｰﾟ) You just wanted to control the green-haired soldier and now you're lying on his bed. He's on you right now. He fixed both of your arms above your head with one hand.

I'll show you how resilient I am, doctor~ [Se]

The sound of tearing echoed through the room. That guy tore every single piece of clothing you were wearing. His face was right next to your left ear. That's why you could hear his every breath. His free hand was stroking your hip. His hand slowly moved towards your cock and began to caress it slowly. You tried not to groan under the feeling of your callused hands. Because damn it, you had exactly your assistant in the next room. A few more pumps and you're tough.

He spat in your palm and put his fingers in your hole. Wait- He was seriously considering doing this with a drop of saliva! Hell no. You tried to straighten up, but you couldn't. That's why you gave him a head. She was just about to tell you something when she saw your expression. You spoke in a whisper.

Do you really think you can do this with just one spit*! [R]

He gawked at your face for a while. Then he spat more into his spitting hand. May the Big Seven help you.

He didn't have time to get used to you. His movements weren't too fast, but it was hard. You somehow freed your hands from his grip. You tried to suppress your moans with one hand. Your other hand gripped his shoulders. Your legs were wrapped around his waist. The constant pressure against your prostate was intoxicating. He put you in another position to increase his reach. It was hard to suppress moans now.

The soldier's whimpers combined with the slapping sounds of skins. Your hands were tugging at his clothes. Sebek grabbed your chin, forcing you to bring your face closer to him. He pulled you into a deep kiss. But he wasn't kissing, he was literally eating you.

It was already past midnight and you didn't know what lap you were on. It was late and neither of you were holding back your groans and whimpers as you thought no one would be around anymore.

You knew he was approaching when his movements were quickened and not as attentive as before. His movements, which were already harsh, were now more rigid. You wrapped a free hand in your own cock and pumped yourself. You're both pretty close to climax. He gripped your hips, which were bruised from his grip, tighter. In honor of this last burst of pleasure, you both came in with your groans after one last mad kiss.

I'm tough enough. Isn't it, doctor? [Se]

Your movements are still erratic and unbalanced. Let me heal you. [R]

'I guess this isn't the last lap,' thought Silver, who was waiting for Sebek in the next room.

Come on Silver. Sebek will come when his healed is over. [M]

I haven't written smut in so long that I'm atrophied.💀 So tell me if you don't like it. Please notify me if there is an error.

[andsmile]

hymn for the missing

Archie runs his hand over his face. She asked him not to follow her and he understands—rushing into things is what ruined it in the first place—but how could she tell him that and expect him to stand still? What is he supposed to do?

(read the last chapter) or (start from the beginning)

hey varchies (and allies)! hope you're doing well after learning varchie found each other and ended up together in california. ;) this fic was a monster of it's own, but i don't regret any of it. PLEASE let me know what you think. and for those who stuck around until the end, thank you so much! it is not the last you'll se from me lol.