#SAVING THIS FOREVER AND EVER T_T <3

[mute-call]

listen, you KNOW what i love about your portrayal. i love steven so much i want to pick him up and squeeze him. you took a character with minimal lines or characterization in canon and you made him into such a unique, silly guy. and i know i call him silly all the time but he also has such depth of character???

like. guy who has been working with fazbear entertainment since he was a teenager and has been Experiencing the Horrors ever since and yet still hasnt become disillusioned with the company or quit because he CANT. because he doesnt KNOW anything else. because he would rather quite literally work himself to death at fazbears than have to figure out who he is outside the company. than have to unpack what hes been complicit in covering up. than have to face the fact that hes played quite an instrumental part in leading other employees to their deaths or to being grievously injured. hes done such horrible things but really what else was he going to do? if he dug too deep into the incidents he probably wouldve ended up just like them.

i just. ur pg is such a good example of someone who never intended to cause any harm – someone with an innate desire to do good, even – who got put in an impossible situation, one where there were no 'right answers.' steven is a man who did what he had to do to survive and even then it wasnt enough. he drives me insane /pos. i absolutely love the way you interpret him. i enjoy every single one of our threads we have going and the moment i have some free time im going back to work on them.

what is one thing you like about the way i play my character?

;;

BRO THIS IS T_T T_T THIS IS SO SO SO SO SO KIND HOLY SHIT. can i steal this for his about page /lh.

but fr it's so incredibly touching to see that it's come through so well. like. i dont even know if i could have written all this out so cleanly / put my thoughts about him into words like this, but you're absolutely SPOT ON and it's so lovely to see that 1. i've done justice to his characterization 2. others are picking up what im putting down /lh.

you are such an absolute JOY to write with and plot with. thank you for exploring so many different characters, scenarios, and vibes with me!! i can't tell you how much i adore your characterizations, writing style, and little one-liners in dms that i steal for discord statuses. never ANY rush... we will simply rotate our blorbos in our minds together <3 /LH LH

[merakiui]

He's a thought. Crowley is terrible at providing for MC. Everyone in the school practically knows this. So imagine if Crowley calls MC to his office one day and tell them they'll be staying with (insert character) from now on. Turns out the guy bought mc and they don't plan on mc ever leaving them.

I know you'll use mostly talk about octotrio. But I also like to imagine Malleus doing the same thing. Especially since you're his first friend

Oh, that's a good idea!!!!! :0

Riddle buys you with completely innocent intentions in mind. At first it's so that you won't have to be poorly provided for by that not-so-accommodating Headmage. He's cleared a room in Heartslabyul for you and Grim and as long as you adhere to the Queen's rules and follow dorm policies you will be granted a comfortable stay. Riddle is merely looking out for you. Besides, your education shouldn't have to be compromised because of poor living conditions! Of course, in the eyes of everyone else, Riddle's intentions aren't viewed in that way. Ace and Cater tease him about it until he's red in the face and scowling, insisting it's for your own good and not because of any other inappropriate reasons.

Ruggie buys you on a whim with Leona's money. He could use extra help around the dorm and Leona, though he complains, can't say much if you prove to be useful. That, and how else was Ruggie going to have you to himself? With so many spoiled silver spoons here, it would have been impossible to even think about purchasing you. Crowley talks a high price, but with Leona's wallet anything's possible. :) and you'll be good to keep around when breeding season befalls Savanaclaw.

You're an impulse buy for Kalim. He buys you because he wants to give you a better living space and lots of good food. You can't get that in Ramshackle, and so he thinks it would be best if you could live in Scarabia with him (in his room, naturally)! And Crowley could never turn down a monetary offer from an Asim! You're treated more like a pet than a person, with Kalim spoiling you with pretty outfits, delicious meals (all prepared by Jamil), and anything else you could ever want. The leash is invisible, but you know Kalim holds it when he treats you as if you're royalty, bound to him because he bought you at an insane price. It's dehumanizing to know that, but at least he's sweet to you.

By pooling their funds together, Ace, Deuce, Epel, Sebek, and Jack were able to buy you! And they all have completely different reasons for cooperating. Ace thinks it'll be fun to own you and have his own private darling who'll have no choice but to listen to him because he's the one who bought you. Ever the tease... T_T Deuce just wants you to have a better living arrangement. He wants to do his best to provide for you! Sometimes it feels like he's your husband... Epel is also in a somewhat similar category as Ace; he just wants to know what it's like to hold the reins and not be doted on for once. Now he can do that to you instead. >:) Sebek only did it because Silver mentioned he wanted to save you from the poor conditions in Ramshackle, and Sebek can't let him outdo him like that!!!! Jack is honest and pure; he wants you to have a comfortable school life, even if it's dangerous if you live with him in Savanaclaw. The guys there can get rough, but he'll protect you. <3

Ortho buys you with the intention of giving Idia a friend! :D Idia nearly faints when Ortho brings you back to Ignihyde, claiming he paid the Headmage so that Idia could look after you forever. Idia's a nervous mess around you. He's not used to sharing a space with someone other than Ortho, and you're just so...nice and wonderful and sweet and cute and wow he's down horrendously bad. >_<

Either Lilia buys you for Malleus or Malleus makes the decision on a whim after you mention how difficult it is to keep Ramshackle in good shape. He could just repair it with magic, but then what if you just stayed with him instead? That would be better, would it not? In Diasomnia, you would be most comfortable. Malleus is sure of this, and he spares no expense ensuring you'll be content living with him. Of course this also means you'll follow him back to Briar Valley after he graduates. You're his first friend and soon you'll be his first (and only) lover.

[riasfallingpieces]

Get To Know Game

Thanks so much to @hikarimeroperiddle for tagging me! <3 Since you asked, you shall receive!

Three Ships

1. Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr in basically every X-Men adaption. These two will forever break my heart.

2. Hua Cheng/Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing.

3. Solas/Female Lavellan from Dragon Age Inquisition.

First Ever Ship

I don't really remember my first ship since I shipped characters before I knew what shipping was and without realizing what I was doing but the first ship I actively searched content for and for which I created content myself were Kyoko Mogami/Ren Tsuruga from Skip Beat! I stopped reading the manga some years ago so I have no idea how their story ends, but my days in the fandom are quite fond memories. <3

Last Song

"Counting Stars" from No Resolve and Saving Abel

Stuck in my Head

"Blindfold" from Sleeping Wolf.

Last Movie

"The Super Mario Movie" I really enjoyed that one.

Currently Reading

"The Atlas Six" by Olivie Blake.

Currently Watching

Black Knight on Netflix. An apocalyptic setting without zombies? Sign me up!

Currently Consuming

Chocolate or ice cream, unfortunately. Depends on my mood and the price.

Currently Craving

A one-year break from everything in which I could travel and concentrate on my writing. Since this is unrealistic, I can also settle for news about Dragon Age Dreadwolf. (Please, Bioware T_T)

Favorite Colour

Every shade of blue!!! <3

Favorite Foods

Cheesecake, pasta salad (but only my own, I am picky on that front), curry, bratwurst with mashed potatoes and sauerkraut (a German classic), my mother's chocolate cake.

Dream Trip

A road trip along the west coast of the US with mandatory stops in San Francisco, L.A., Yosemite Valley, Grand Canyon and Las Vegas. And maybe another week in New York before or after that.

I am not tagging anyone for this, but if you see this and want to do this, please feel free to do so. <3

[astrxealis]

anyways. have you heard of the critically acclaimed mmorpg final fantasy xiv with a free trial that includes the base game a realm reborn and the award-winning expansion heavensward in which you can play up until level 60 with no time restrictions

[finitepeace]

fics i read this week:

 I read some bucky x natasha fics: 

Head Is Not My Home by taralkariel

Summary: The Black Widow is a legend. Legends aren't made cheap.

Shaken by the events of Civil War, Natasha Romanoff goes back to familiar ground to hide. To hide and remember how she became the Black Widow. How Natalia Romanova would do anything to save her father-figure. How she was one of 28 ballerinas with the Bolshoi - no, one of 28 Black Widow agents with the Red Room. How the only thing that made her feel human was a man with a metal arm.

(A story to show what really happened in the comics Red Room and how it could fit into the MCU)

19k words in 12 chapters, not rated (maybe T&up?), bucky nat up to IW, i think.  it’s not very dark themed <3,

tell me baby, do you recognize me? by xocean

Summary: "You're a liar." Natasha is shaking. "You're a heartless, lonely, lying murderer."

He doesn't even blink. "We both are."

The Winter Soldier's game is up, and Steve's not letting him go this time. Enter the only person who doesn't want a part in this shitfest: Natasha Romanov.

Or, as James Buchanan Barnes remembers her: Natalia Romanova.

63k words in 10 chapters (from 11), angst.

 and an IronDad x SpiderSon fic: 

This B.S. Better Be Worth It by losingmymindtonight 💙

Summary: Originally, Tony's plan had been to just surprise Peter with the fact that he would be on campus for a semester.

He’d never actually expected Peter to sign up for his class.

7k words in 4 chapters, tony acting like a dad (and awesome professor)

 as usual, the rest are Stony fics:  

American Dream by NobodysBloodyPrincess

Summary: Tony is trying, but try as he might he just can’t find the silver lining of this particular disaster.

After all, what happiness could possibly be derived from the knowledge that the perfect little girl in his arms is now motherless? What relief could be drawn, when his boyfriend of ten years, the love of his life really, is probably, currently, right at this moment in the arms of ‘Peggy’ his new fiancé?

13k words, no powers au, tony-centric, stevetony has broken up and tony adopts a kid, steve is depicted a bit insensitive (idk what the word, like unable to read the room?) here. 

Where Our Restless Monsters Sleep by Mizzy 💙

Summary: Years after Tony Stark saved the universe, the Avengers realize there’s a major problem: his body has gone missing. And he isn’t the only one. Fallen heroes all over the galaxy have had their graves pillaged.

An old foe is stealing the bodies of fallen warriors, but for what nefarious reason? There’s only one solution. To find out why it’s happening, Steve’s gotta die.

He probably shouldn’t be so eager to do that.

233k words in 12 chapters, post endgame resurrections (?), gladiator trope, lots of action scenes, and THERE’S MORGAN x STEVE INTERACTIONS!!!!! 

The Culling of the Stars by dirigibleplumbing

Summary: Tony dies saving Steve's life on the courthouse steps. Now Steve is left with the fallout of their Civil War, expected to take charge and preserve Tony's legacy. He doesn't know how he can do it alone—not when he can't stop thinking about Tony, or keep track of the days, or even feel.

9k words, comic book’s civil war not MCU’s, angst but gnidne yppah 

Together, Always by Sapphic_Futurist 💙

Summary: He swallows hard, a prickle of tears in his eyes because this is his husband.

This is Tony Stark and Steve’s husband, and Steve gets to have this. He gets to have this for the rest of his goddamn life.

30k words in 3 chapters, embodiment of stony’s “together” T_T, read the tags if you want to be spoiled lol if not then enjoy! (and I don’t regret not reading the tags tbh) 

And I'd Buy A Big House Where We Both Could Live by shinkonokokoro

Summary: Missing: Tony Stark, billionaire businessman, heir to Stark Industries, reward: none

Only Steve didn't know that when he picked up the waterlogged unconscious man from the bank of a river.

59k words in 29 chapters, non-power au, kid clint and peter as steve’s brothers

i stole the keys to this guy by kellifer_fic

Summary: Where it was Nick Fury's idea, but he didn't mean it like that

6k words, fake dating into real dating 

Home Is Where the Time Machine Is by Wordsplat 💙

Summary:Steve and Tony's daughter accidentally falls back in time, and learns that impossible time travel phone calls can and will be made just to ground you, big brothers are awful snitches, and parents used to date other people. The past blows.

23k words in 5 chapters, domestic, stony being married 

don't know why it took me so long to see by goodmorningbeloved (3799steps)

Summary: “Oh, watch this,” Natasha says, propping her chin against her knuckles and turning a sweet gaze on him. “Tony, what’s it like dating a superhero?”

Tony bristles in irritation. “We’re not dating,” he snaps. “Captain America probably thinks he can get into anyone’s pants just ‘cause he’s got a mask, costume, and reputation, but not me, buddy. That shield? Gotta be overcompensating for something.” He adds, a bit petulantly, “Oh, and all that blue? Definitely more Steve’s color than his.”

- In which Tony is a genius in all matters except recognizing his boyfriend past a mask.

11k words, tony being peacefully oblivious while the whole world isn’t. 

I Started a Joke by Naferty

Summary "Tony?"

"Who the hell is Tony?"

102k words in 11 chapters, tony is the winter soldier 

Take Two  by Wordsplat 💙

Summary: Steve loses his memory but he gets the feeling he's lost a lot more. Who exactly is Tony Stark to him and why won't he come out of the basement?

24k words, i just love it. 

Sunrise Over the End of the World by Sapphic_Futurist

Summary: When Dr. Strange arrives at an Accords Committee Meeting and warns of the coming of an alien megalomaniac set on destroying the world, the Rogues are pardoned and Tony finds himself exactly where he never wanted to be. Back at the Compound with Steve, who still can't take a hint and won't leave him alone.

--

In which Tony is broken and Steve finds redemption.

35k in 11 chapters, explicit, civil war fix-it up to infinity war 

Far Away And Long Ago by Ragdoll (Keshka) 💙

Summary: Steve steps into the past and discovers that hope held on a pedestal is as insubstantial as smoke. Then he sees Tony. And that's when things get complicated.

Full summary contained within.

18k in 4 chapters, mature, seems like abandoned WIP :( endgame fix-it au when steve returns the stones... 

Something More Than What They Are series by  Sapphic_Futurist

An exploration of love, denial and propensity for change.

38k in 4 works, explicit, Steve and Tony are married during the civil war madness but seems like their love is not enough to stop it from happening or reconciling T_T 

the marks you choose to leave behind by masterlokisev159

Summary: The Stane faction has been around for many years, long before Tony was bitten. And since he was forced, his life has been nothing short of misery and pain; a prison he will never escape. As a low member of the faction, his only hope at survival is to remain a loyal pet to Ezekiel. So when Ezekiel mentions the growing threat of the Avengers of the Undead, and the dreaded Captain, Tony is adamant to step up and do what he can. It’s also his last chance to see the outside world before he’s bonded to Whitney forever.

But what he finds instead is an unlikely companion with golden eyes. A strange werewolf by the name of Steve.

35k, general, vampire tony/werewolf steve, based on earth-666 

La La Love by Wordsplat

Summary: "To be perfectly clear, Tony always knew that Stephanie Rogers was the best thing that would ever happen to him."

4k words, teen up and audiences, female Steve, highschool au, awkward tony

Meet Your Heroes by Wordsplat

Summary:Tony gets rescued by a highly concerned, very handsy Captain America. This is confusing for a number of reasons.

4k words, identity porn AU, 

Hashtag Finally by Wordsplat 💙

Summary: Tony doesn't ever actually ask the Avengers to move into his house, steal his wifi, eat all his food, and become the best family he's ever known. They do it anyway.

15k, teen&up, domestic avengers a.k.a. tower life, hyperactive Clint lol, super cute, everyone are stony supporters

Thanks For the Memories by Wordsplat

Summary: When Tony is sent crashing-all too literally-into the 1940's by an alternate-universe Loki's spell, neither Tony nor Steve are prepared for the consequences.

9k words, time travel au, secret pining 

[keiko86chan]

Les Mis as Steven Universe songs

So, I was thinking about how some Steven Universe songs fits so well with Les Mis characters...

Here it is a small list of what I means:

Jean Valjean:

1) Escapism

Trying to evade from Toulon

2) It’s over, isn’t it?

For exactly, when Valjean nurses a broken heart after Cosette and Marius wedding.

3) Full disclosure

Not wanting to reveal his past to Cosette to protect her.

Javert:  

1) Comet

Destiny, stars, choiches of life... It’s his perfect song!!!

2) The working dead

He’s so done!

3) That distant shore

Post barricade.... (And Valjean obviously will save him!)

Cosette:

1) Dear old dad

Dedicated to Valjean, worried about her leaving him forever.

2) Love like you

Falling in love with Marius.

Marius  

1) Isn’t it love?

Falling in love with Cosette

2) Let me drive my van into your heart

Fearing to being rejected by Cosette

Gavroche:

1) Other friends

IDK for real. But it seems so good for him, maybe while mocking the guards at the barricade!

2) On the run

While showing to his little siblings how to survive on the streets.

Fantine - Drifting away

Seems so similar to I dreamed a dream...

Enjolras - Disobedient

It suits him perfectly!

Grantaire - No matter what

Enjolras-sempai, please notice me!

Eponine - Tower of mistakes 

Forever alone. T_T

Azelma - Ruby rider

As she’s the last one (besides her father) to remain alive

Bishop Myriel - Here comes a though

When he helps Valjean.

Patron Minette - Sadie Killer and the Suspects

Well....

Thenardier - Like a burger (Pepe's Burgers Jingle)

Ehrm....

Madame Thenardier - Giant woman

Uh.

Toussaint - Li’l Butler theme

Eh...

Montparnasse - Aven’t you notice (I’m a Star)

He’s a dandy after all.

Bonus - Duets/Group songs:

Valjean + Javert - Stronger than you

The Confrontation, basically.

Valjean + Cosette - Independent together

Rising up Cosette in Paris.

Marius and Eponine - Doing for her, doing for him

For reasons. Bunus for a perplexed Cosette watching them worried

Marius + Barricade boys - Who we are

With Marius whining about Cosette soon gone, and the others wanting to fight

Valjean (scared about how is secret identity may be revealed) + the guests - For Just One Day Let's Only Think About Love

The wedding.

Valjean (Steven’s section), Javert (Pearl’s section), Marius (Garnet’s section) and Cosette (Amethyst’s section) - Happily ever after

The title say it all.

Bonus 2 - Valvert/Post-Seine edition playlist:

Change

Peace and love on the planet earth

Found

Basically Valjean teaching love to Javert.

Both of you

Cosette, to Valjean and Javert, After an argument between them, probably.

(@voulez-vouz-mon-chapeau​ do you have a list too?)

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[papers4me]

fellow fruba friend here! What are your expectations on what each of the four main characters will achieve or gain at the end?

hi fellow furuba friend! by the main four, I suppose you mean yuki, kyo , tohru & shigure! All the traumatized characters in furuba deserve all the best & everything good given to them. They are all genuinely broken souls & I love them all. However, not everybody will actually be given everything for realistic reasons.

(1)-I’ll start with the easiest: Yuki. Yuki’s wish was stated so early in SE01, ep12 & ever since things have been moving so straight forward towards his goal: discovering his own self, finding friends who accept him w/o a mask & finding love. As Se02 is heavily focused on him, he got all that & more. it is very clear that the writer has decided that Yuki is the character that will get everything:

He opened his lid, faced akito & his fears & started laughing more.

He is shedding his mask & the prince persona.

He realized his familial feelings to tohru.

He accepts & supports tohru/kyo as couple & doesn’t feel envy/sadness.

He faced his mother calmly & decided his future. Altho he doesn’t need her any more, it is clear that he is civil with her & doesn’t blame her. She thinks of him as a tool that helps her glows & I’m sure she views his success as part of her & in the future, she’ll proudly say that’s my son if he was brought as a topic in any social gathering. My point is, given yuki’s stance to forgive the past, he won’t cut ties with her.

He completely forgiven his brother & is proud of him publicly.

He got a friend who is a mix of the two person yuki envies the most : kyo & aya. Also, kakeru is very designed to fit yuki in every way, so even if yuki never got anymore friends, kakeru is the one for life.

Altho yuki’s story could still be good without romantic love in canon as it can be hinted as sth he’ll get once he’s in college, he is getting a romantic love now with someone who doesn’t pity him nor admires him, sees the real him. Someone whom yuki can be a “tohru” to her & “support” her & be a “kyo” to her in the same way he’s been observing kyo & envying him for being the only one to see the real tohru. Yuki will be the only one to see the real machi.

What more can I say...What more can the writer give yuki.. I’ve been thinking hard... but I duno...perhaps sth to do with kyo & their views of each other.

I’ll leave number #10 open cuz I’m sure there’s more the writer will give him..but I duno regarding which character...um... shigure? The writer has been impersonating yuki so much in Se02 & giving us direct lessons thro his voice as much as I wish she tones it down as this disrupts the flow of a story, making yuki speaks on behalf of other characters whose voice has been blocked, it also doesn’t trust the viewers/readers to “learn the lesson” without directly given to them. So I’m positive 100% there will be more yuki telling us learned lessons us especially after critical moments similar to some of SE02 big eps.

(2)-Kyo: Kyo is always given one ep of inner thoughts per season. However, each ep is big & so influential for both his character development & the story’s plot as a whole. His thoughts were essentially blocked at first for mystery reasons due to his involvement with kyoko but ever since Se02, ep9 it was exposed that he knows her, it’s now blocked for building the “climax” reasons. However, the writer is skilled in writing kyo as a character that is easily read, someone who doesn’t know how to act, so you can decipher his feelings from his actions. I don’t mind him not giving inner thoughts if his actions can replace that & communicate his feelingsto the viewers  which is so well-done with kyo but badly done with tohru,(but more on tohru later). what I expect for kyo... it is hard to say!!! It depends on how the writer will solve kyoko’s damned “ I won’t forgive you” words!!! Cuz i see this as one of the most difficult plot twists & obstacles. Kyo’s issues are different from yuki. It isn’t abt self discovery, warmth, or finding friendship or love. It is abt having a right to live, guilt & believing that he isn’t harmful, kyo knows that there are few ppl who loves him but to him these few ppl are the most important ppl in the world, he doesn’t want to hurt them. His life experiences has taught him that his loved ones always end up dying in his place. he carries immense guilt & self-loath. So what to expect... i duno.. Moreover, kyo being the opposite of yuki, so I don’t think he’ll be given everything even if he, just like yuki, deserves everything good. There are things in kyo’s life that cannot be fixed.

Kyo will for sure open his lid, but it will be ugly cuz he’ll have to confess abt his mom’s suicide & him witnessing/being involved in kyoko’s death. He’ll have to tell tohru kyoko’s devastating words & her last painful moments. I duno what to expect beside pain!!!!

“forgiveness/ or lack of ” is kyo’s theme!! will tohru forgive him?? I duno! I find it hard to believe tohru-my-mom-is-my-idol” will do that unless sth changes. But It really doesn’t matter if tohru does or doesn’t, cuz kyo himself will NEVER forgive himself!! There’s comfort in being punished. ppl with genuine hearts & conscious, don’t like escaping punishment for their wrong deeds. If kyo believes truly that he’s at fault somehow, he’ll want to be punished.  

Kyo has stated that “ I won’t take anything away from you anymore” thinking abt tohru. He has given up on her cuz he believes he took her mom from her. His thought process is very realistic & his actions are very logical & matches his trauma, so I don’t know where this will lead to.. I know the writer won’t be cruel with him more than his story already is, but it is so complicated!!!! He can’t accept tohru’s love!! she shouldn’t!!

Unlike yuki’s mother, kyo’s father refuses anything regarding kyo & doesn’t even consider him human. He pushes forward for his imprisonment. I don’t see the writer giving kyo’s father the tiny redemption moment she gave yuki’s mom. Nothing will make kyo’s dad be proud of kyo as he considers kyo to be the cause of all his misfortune. Kyo’s dad is the person kyo shouldn’t & mustn't become. However, kyo got another father who truly loves him & is already proud of him. I love that the writer didn’t cut off kyo’s attachment to his bio dad simply caz he got shisho. Kyo’s dad is a huge reason of why kyo is traumatized. it is not the curse itself. it is the toxic broken home. Every toxic thought in kyo’s mind is imprinted there since early age intentionally by his dad & unintentionally by his mom. So how do I expect kyo will overcome his mom’s gohst & his dad’s demon? I duno too! T_T. ..XD.

his mom & kyoko are dead. If kyo believes he’s the reason...how he’ll ask forgiveness?? I love the theme of dealing with broken things that can’t be fixed. The writer will forever be one of my best authors if she convinced me that she can handle such tough theme.

I feel like I’m repeating I duno a lot, but yeah kyo’s story could go so many directions!!!! but I have trust that wherever it goes, it will be as satisfying as yuki’s. The writer has chosen to put kyo’s behind for epic climatic showdown, it will be thrilling, painful, dramatic & so satisfying. kyo will not be furuba’s tragic ending, the writer showed she prefers ’s optimistic & positive paths despite the trauma. Besides, kyo is tied to tohru, no way such kind soul will be crushed twice by losing her mom & her first love.

(3)-Tohru: The female protagonist with everything individual & personal abt her pushed until Se03 with the most minor foreshadowing & the most trivial symbolism. lol..She doesn’t have eps of inner thoughts abt her own issues like yuki & she doesn’t have big influential eps abt her like kyo... what did she have so I can predict: (a) the nightmare which tells us tohru is still grieving her mom’s loss & (b) the little flashbacks where it shows sth bad traumatized her when she was a baby & it involves her mom locking her? or sth. (c) tohru telling rin that she has things she can’t give up. I don’t have predictions for tohru. I have wishes. I want her to want things for herself. screw the curse, the sohma’s issues, the mom-tohru, the savior-tohru, the supporting-tohru. All that is typical tropes done many times already. Give me a unique female protag who can be kind, but is hurt by her own kindness, someone so altruistic & realizes that I can choose my self first!!! it is okay to be first for once!! Give me someone who even after showing the world I’m okay & optimistic is NOT okay & optimistic but is actually scared & lonely despite all the love surrounding her by the ppl she “saved”. a female protag pursuing her OWN happiness shrewdly but kindly in the most epic combination! This is the tohru I want. how she’ll decide to forgive kyo? I duno. I’ll cheer if she did & I’ll cheer if she didn’t. both situations suit tohru’s mindset.

(4)-Shigure:big giant I duno...lol.. I need to understand this dude first!! He’s the most intriguing. 

[killian-whump]

How are you coping after the Prodigal Son finale?

OH MY GOD, I AM A BALL OF FLAILING AND LAUGHTER!!!

Okay, so a LOT happened in that episode and I am ALIVE for it. All of it. Every precious moment of it.

FIRST OF ALL, my Brightwell heart is soaring. They held hands T_T I can’t eeeeeeven. And Aurora said that scene was one of her favorites to film when we only had the promo pics, so we all were wondering what was gonna happen and figuring something big might happen there... and then he took her hand and and and and and I squealed like a school girl, I am utterly not ashamed to say, and then I came on Twitter and tweeted to Aurora and Tom that I squealed like a school girl, not even mentioning WHICH scene, of course, ‘cos you know, #NoSpoilers, and Aurora straight up responded within 30 seconds with a smug little smiley emoji and I’m just COMPLETELY COMPROMISED.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever shipped anything as hard as I ship Brightwell. It just owns my soul right now, and I am not sorry.

OKAY BUT THEN, THEN, THEN, we were all wondering how Gil could arrest Malcolm and all that, and worried that he wasn’t believing in him, but that was all just hogwash and premature concerns, because Gil was 100% Team Malcolm all episode long and I love him fifty times more for it <3 He never doubted his boy (and let’s not pretend he’s not HIS boy) for even a second, and was even going to aid and abet his getaway. I CRY.

AND HE WENT UP AGAINST ENDICOTT FOR JESSICA. What a man. Gosh. He just strolled in the joint, and faced Endicott like a man among men and my gosh, that was great, and I am SO glad that LDP has such a great role in this show, because older gentlemen and ladies SHOULD be given opportunities to be dashing and attractive and dramatic for love :D I got all weak in the knees when Gil was like, “I’m taking Jessica home.” Like, no ifs ands or buts.

Um, but shame about the stabbing. Umm. I’m kinda upset about that. BUT WHUMP, so, you know, I’m not that upset, lol. Also, YOU KNOW I LOVE ME SOME DUDE IN DISTRESS GETTING SAVED BY THE DASHING DAMSEL, and they totally gave me that. Jessica fucking PLOWED into that car, and was like, “THIS IS MY GIL AND I’M GOING HOME to the nearest hospital, actually” and it was great and I’m alive for it :D

AND DID I MENTION THAT BRIGHTWELL HELD HANDS IN THE HOSPITAL??? I MEAN, I DON’T KNOW IF I MENTIONED THAT. I REALLY, REALLY LIKED THAT. And also, Dani apologized for doubting him, which I really needed to see. AND, in viewing the whole episode all together, the doubt she DID have didn’t seem as bad, relatively speaking. I mean, he DID lie right to her (and she was even willing to 100% believe him on his word alone about it!) which led to her “Stop lying to us!” explosion, and I think the stuff she said BEFORE then sounded like she WANTED to believe him, but just didn’t see how it could NOT be him when all the evidence pointed to him. ANYWAY. Did you know they held hands in the hospital waiting room????

OKAY, and then Ainsley. Wow. Wooooooow. First, that was phenomenal acting on Halston Sage’s part, because WOW. Wow. She just went FULL PSYCHO right there and it was fucking GLORIOUS. Like, I love murder shows and stories and books and what-not, but I love me some lady murderers, because they’re rare like unicorns and they’re usually torturing and murdering men, and you know I’m all for that. Anyway, I am SO excited for Murder Queen Ainsley, because that is gonna be a FUN ride, no matter how they spin it. Do they cover it up, but Malcolm knows what’s hiding under his sister’s calm and collected exterior? Does Malcolm take the fall for it? Does Ainsley go to jail? Do they get her off somehow? Do they get a Daddy and Daughter joint cell arrangement? I’m very excited!!!

And speaking of dear old Dad, OH MY GOD. First of all, I half expect Martin to just wander out of the jail during that riot, like, “Oh, how did that happen? What a fortunate turn of events!” and I hope it DOES happen, because I’d love to have Martin out and about, the cops all looking for him, Malcolm himself looking for him, and yet somehow, inexplicably, Martin still manages to borderline stalk his children in the most hilarious ways possible. I want this. Also, I’m still laughing at “Things are looking up for me here!” and just the idea of Martin phoning Malcolm in the middle of a prison riot, like, “Hi, just thought I’d catch you up on what’s new in my life...” I love him. And I love Martin Sheen’s portrayal of him. GODS, THE FACES HE MAKES T_T And the face he made when he delivered that last line, which I will laugh at forever: “My girl!”

I have to go laugh and cry as I roll around on the floor now \o/

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, IT’S A GLORIOUS ASK, AND I LOVE IT

[teddystrap]

Drama CD: [SEVENTH HEAVEN] Vol.3 -Itsuki-

[Synopsis] The Seventh Heaven are the 7 Gods of Death who can deliver people into a blissful death by serenading them with their songs. They only appear to those who truly wish to die. Once they have been seen, you have to stay with them in their Hiiragi Mansion until the final moment of death arrives...

*

You wake up in an unfamiliar room, and Itsuki (CV. Takahashi Naozumi) is waiting anxiously by your bedside. To his surprise, you had tried to take your own life by drowning yourself in the creepy river in the woods or whatever, so he brought you here and changed you out of your wet clothes.

As you keep staring at his face, at first he thought you were hungry (#logic), then later he realises... OMG you don't recognise him anymore. He's your long-time childhood friend, whom you just hung out with this morning!! AND! You promised to make his favourite plain omelettes next time!!!! NOOOOOOO~~~

After collecting himself, he apologises for his overreaction and re-introduces himself to you. Apparently you forgot who he was after arriving at Hiiragi Mansion. He also tells you that he is actually a God of Death, who can sing you into the next world.

Morning. He comes to look for you and *escorts* you to the rose garden, explaining to you the flower meanings: red rose = 'I AM DYING TO GET WIT U BAE'. But before he could warn you, you already tried to pick the rose and ofc cut your finger on its thorns. (Wouldn't be an otome story without the heroine injuring herself like a 3-year-old and her guy coming to the rescue, amirite?)

He disinfects and slaps a band-aid on you, and you apologise for being a clumsy idiot and giving him trouble. Then you get this super constipated look on your face,... and turns out you wanted to ask how he became your childhood friend as a God of Death.

Basically: Itsuki was reallllly bored with taking lives and singing death ballads all day erryday, so then Kanade (his boss) told him that there is an ultra-pure soul nearby who will end up taking her own life. He decided to seek out this soul, and he came to meet you when you were still a baby. Not only could you see him, but also you were all like ヽ(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉｱﾋｬﾋｬ when you saw him.

So then he was all like ｱﾋｬﾋｬﾍ(ﾟ∀ﾟ*)ﾉ too, and he asked Kanade to allow him to live close to you disguised as a human. After doing *many favours* for Kanade (fufufufufu), Kanade finally agreed, and that's how Itsuki became the Boy Next Door whom you grew up with.

But he also made a promise with Kanade, that when you finally choose to come to Hiiragi Mansion, he would do his job and sing you the death lullaby to send you on your way. At first he kept guessing if your time has come when you were feeling down or depressed, but as time passed, he began to want to cheer you up when you cry and not let anything hurt you. He even wished that you would be the happiest person in the world, and that he could appear before you as a normal man.

...You have a dream where Itsuki went to great lengths to win you a rare special teddy bear that you really wanted. He teases you a bit as he gives it to you and reminds you that today is your birthday. Just then you get a msg alert on your phone, and he gets a bit jealous thinking it's from another guy.

As his childhood friend, you have promised to spend this day with him, and he makes you promise to spend your birthday together every year. Then he asks you to be his girlfriend, and pretends to be hurt by your surprised reaction. He confesses that he has strong feelings for you for a long time now, and says he will wait for your answer...

You wake up to the clock chiming and Itsuki telling you 'I'VE BEEN WATCHING U SLEEP' (´◉◞౪◟◉). You tell him that you dreamt about him, and after wrestling with his own sense of embarrassment for a while, he admits that the dream really happened, and asks if you are ready to answer him now. (At the time, you told him that you needed time to think about it.)

He adds that he doesn't want to lose you to other guys, and he doesn't want you to go anywhere - including to the next world. He asks you to dump all your pain on him and tell him that you want to live on.

You nod in reply, which makes him happy, and he reveals his *big plan*: Apparently, the Seventh Heaven have one chance to save a human soul by rejecting their own purpose / authority as Gods of Death while singing their death ballad. He found this out by sneaking into Kanade's room and peeking at confidential documents, and he was planning to do this regardless of your wishes.

You ask what's going to happen to *him* if he does this, and he tells you not to worry about that. (Probably just... become Kanade's sex slave forever XDD.) He says that you will lose your memory and forget about him afterwards anyway, and you make a super #sadpanda face in response. So he quickly comforts you by saying that he won't let that happen, or else he will just re-introduce himself until you remember.

At dusk, you go to the rooftop and see him there. The two of you do some deep breathing exercises that devolved into a tickle fight, which gives you a good chance to fondle his man pecs (*by accident* hehehehe ლ（ ^ิ౪^ิ ლ）). Then he notices that something's on your mind - clearly, it's about Operation Soul Saving.

To put your mind at ease, he tells you again not to worry, and asks you if there's anything you want to do. You want to fondle other parts of him a hug, which he happily gives to you. You also question if he has sent any other woman to the next world with his death ballad, and your jealousy pleases him. He tells you that he was always thinking of YOU when he was doing it (by which I mean *singing*, get your mind out of the gutter ffs) to other women.

The hug made him so...umm... happy, that he wanted to take you right there and then. But ofc you cockblock him, so he excuses himself and goes back to his room to cry and jerk off to porno cool his head.

ONE DAY, he finds you chopping ingredients in the kitchen. Turns out you are making his favourite plain omelettes!! He is overjoyed and devours your dish in 2 seconds. Btw, as a God of Death he has no taste buds, but the omelettes made him *feel* good anyway even though it tasted like nothing lmao.

The truth is, you cooked for him as thanks for his plan to save your soul. You ask if there's anything else he wants, and he hesitates before finally revealing that he wants... more of you. Regular hugs are not enough for him anymore; he wants to hug you with his dick too. As a God of Death, he would make a good partner because he will outlive you for sure and you won't ever have to worry about being widowed. #convincingargumentlol. He asks you to think about it and give him your reply the following night.

The night of the full moon, the clock strikes and you come to see him for your death ballad time / big plan. He grabs you and insists on making you his because he just CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOAR OMGGG:

Him: I'm going to do it... [Me: ( ´థ౪థ) ] Him: ...kiss you. [Me: (-_-||) ] Him: I'm *really* going to do it... [Me: ( ´థ౪థ) ] Him: ...kiss you. [Me: (-_-*#||||||||||) ]

(Cue slurping kissing sounds X1000)

Finally, he makes you promise to tell him how you feel when you wake up after his death ballad.

...

But ultimately his plan failed, you never woke up again. After frantically shaking you, it hits him that you are a goner. A crow cawing in the background alerts him that it was all Kanade's doing. He cries that Kanade has robbed him of everything and vows revenge, as he realises in horror that the amnesia is setting in and he is starting to forget your name...

[igumdrop]

:OO WELCOME EVERYONE!!

okay okay, I know what you guys are thinking -- Jaime, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! HOW CAN YOU MAKE THE SUB-BLOG GO PUBLIC?!?! WHAT HAPPENED TO *THAT* LIST... THE *YOU KNOW WHAT* LIST... 

and my response is... I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never had such a list. 

okay, real talk though, I decided to let my sub-blog go public for multiple reasons: 

♡ no one wants to enter a password that I change constantly

♡ most of what I say I would love to share with my regular viewers who can’t afford to sub, and this is my main source of updating you guys on a more personal basis for those who follow me more on social media and not my stream

♡ I’m incorporating a lot more sub-only things into the community, so I figured I could let one go! 

we’ll see how it goes and if it does start to feel uncomfortable, we can always bring it back :) but there’s little to nothing that I can think of that would make this weird because I don’t overshare that much... I think... HAHA we’ll see

ANYWAYS, REALLY GOOD NEWS! for the past few months I’ve had a little team of subs working on our community Minecraft server! (SO MUCH THANKS TO GOLDEYE, WATTEHMS, MATTY, MAXWELL, BRADLEY, JOSTER <3) I’ll try to log on everyday and just have a habit of keeping it online. I think it’d be cute to be able to log onto something and see everyone in the same world! 

if you’re a sub, please fill out the form that I linked in the discord! it’s also the same form you use to join the gummie gang stream team, and also for me to know what your discord usernames are (a lot of times when you guys message me, your discord username is different from your twitch and I have no idea LOL) there’s also a little response section where you can give me any suggestions you want! (stream ideas, sub emotes, etc) ~ HAVE FUN! 

AND EVEENNNN MORE GOOD NEWS!!!  

WE’LL BE ON FRONT PAGE OF TWITCH THIS THURSDAY!! WEEE!! 

I’ll probably be doing a sit-down cooking stream into a mukbang :) TIME IS TO BE ANNOUNCED BUT IT SHOULD BE AROUND THE TIME FRAME OF 12PM - 2PM OR 2PM - 4PM! I’ll let you guys know as soon as possible on discord. I’ll also be streaming tomorrow/Tuesday and Wednesday so I’ll let you guys know on stream too! 

OK THAT’S IT FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS!~ here are my own personal lil updates

BENJI HAS GROWN SOOO MUCH! okay not gonna lie, he was kinda dying for a bit during the winter, I don’t think he really did well in the cold... his leaves would fall off sometimes and yellow at the ends. I was getting really scared and to be honest I’m so attached to this god damn plant that it was taking a sad mental toll on me. LMFAO. WHY AM I LIKE THIS. anyway, I gave him some fertilizer and stayed consistent with him, watered him whenever I needed to and tried to keep him in warm yet sunny areas of my house. and YAY, SPRING ROLLS AROUND AND HE’S GROWN BIGGER THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN HIM GROW!!! 

before (when I first got him) and now! I’m so proud... only I can write a paragraph raving about my pet plant... jeez it’ll be crazy once I get an actual cat or something... 

there was a really busy week in march where I spent all my leftover time planning Aria’s birthday. it was honestly the cutest thing ever seeing all her friends get together and work on stuff for her. I remember being insanely tired during it but once I saw her reaction for her surprise party, my heart melted and I just told myself wow that was soooo worth it LOL. here’s some pictures from my end <3

we got these GIANT balloons that spelled out ARIA and it took forever to get into the car and out LMAO... excuse my janky no makeup face but it was so funny seeing us struggle so hard with the balloons T_T LOL

we spent hours late at night working on her scrapbook and baking stuff for her. I was working on strawberry cheesecake shoots and I remember cutting 10+ strawberries and thinking, “wow, it would suck if I dropped these,” and then guess what happened... 

I dropped them lmao 

anyways it turned out so wholesome and cute <3 

I found the airbnb on this website called peerspace and when I saw it, it SCREAMED ARIA...

you’re welcome for me blessing your eyes

we seriously worked our *aesthetic* muscle for this because we knew aria would appreciate the heck out of it 

OKAY ANYWAYS MOVING ON!! yesterday I went to h-mart and got a shit ton of groceries. and I realized it’s STRAWBERRY SEASON!!! there’s still a lot of stuff that I want to buy that isn’t available here though, so my mom tries to send me all that she can :D 

I love her so much I miss her so much wahhh I can’t even talk about my parents because I’ll just start crying because I miss them so much ... ok also I was supposed to stream yesterday but I took a nap... and... didn’t... haha... jaimewhatswrongwithyou.exe.... here’s a post-nap selfie though... 

I looked heckin janky but snow saved my ass 

ANYWAY I spent the rest of the night just reading and I finished my monthly book read! here are my two recommendations for you guys :) 

I absolutely love love love this book! it will really help if you’re an overthinker like me. tl;dr, it talks about the inside voice in your head that constantly battles with itself and refers to it as an “annoying roommate.” with consistent reading (a chapter or two before sleeping at night) it really helped me clear my mind and become super aware of how the voice in my head could be more harmful than helfpul. if you’re new to reading it is quite a bit to read though so if you want something easier then I suggest this: 

gosh, my life became so simple when I read this book consistently. it basically shares four simple agreements that you should always be conscious of in life. this book just really helped me not take things as personally, to not make assumptions, and it just gave me a much more simple and clear perspective on things and issues. SUPER SUPER EASY TO READ!!! downfall is, it kinda talks about religion a lot at the end, which might make it uncomfortable for some of you guys. I couldn’t really enjoy the last bits of it that much because of that sole reason but it’s still a great read and taught me lots of fundamentals I never knew I needed for my own mindset :) 

I went to LCS the day before yesterday and it was really fun because I brought a portable cut-out of scarra LMAOOOOOO the thread is really funny so you guys should go read it: https://twitter.com/iGumdrop/status/1114687260434124801

I also did my taxes yesterday (well I finished up what was left of it) during the games LOL and then I went to annie’s place afterwards because her mom is an accountant and she helped me file them. I’m soooo happy I got them over with because I feel so free now! 

hm ok ending these are always hard because it always seem so abrupt, mainly because even my 200 WPM fingers get tired of typing. I guess all I have to say is, hello new readers of my sub-blog, I hope you enjoy your time here! and thank you so much to everybody who supports me. it really means the world to me and I never go one day without insanely appreciating you guys. this month I’ma hit you guys with that dudududuududud GOOD CONTENT! <3

and alas, a few of my favorite cute lil drawings this month from chibird~ 

(+ my community) 

WELL, FAREWELL FRIENDS! TILL NEXT TIME <3 

[mc-amps]

Thoughts on Ray’s Route and Unknown

A crazy long rant >.<

It’s been exactly a year since I finished Ray’s route. I still remember that day quite well. I found it actually kind of romantic that I finished on Valentine’s Day. It was like Saeran was my Valentine. My thoughts on the route at the time were that of anger and joy. Suit Saeran made me furious, but GE Saeran made it better. He made me cry a lot of happy tears. Now that a year has passed, I wanted to talk more about my feelings about the route.

Everyone who knows me knows that I’m passionate about Unknown. Heck, just by looking at my blog, you could probably see that. From the very moment I saw him in the game’s opening movie, I was very curious and excited to see the trouble he would cause. I ended up seeing the prologue bad end on youtube and was like “Dang that’s hot +_+” Idk. I’ve always had a thing for those sweet talking kidnapper villain characters. The ones you know aren’t good for you, but if they ever got their hands on you, they’d cherish you in their own twisted way.

As I played through all of the routes, the part that excited me the most was when Unknown would show up and do bad things. Zen’s route in particular was so thrilling. The fact that he didn’t show up in Jaehee’s route was a bummer, but I was extremely disappointed when he did nothing in Jumin’s route too. Jumin was the one I ended up really liking, so I had been hoping to see my main man duke it out with evil side bae. Unfortunately, that never became a thing T_T

I saw some minor spoilers for Seven’s route, so I knew that Unknown would be heavily involved. I ended up being really disappointed with that route. At the time, I blamed it on Seven’s pushing MC away, but in hindsight, another major factor was that we really didn’t get to interact with Unknown much after the break in. Even during the secret ends, he’s there, but doesn’t really pay much attention to you. I guess I had been hoping to explore things with Unknown and his twisted view on the player. I also really wanted to help him recover after Mint Eye, but Seven took total control with that.

By that point, I had kind of accepted that Unknown wouldn’t be dateable, so I just figured that Jumin was my “true end.” But then the Christmas DLC happened. . .

It.

Was.

AMAZING!!!

Seriously! Unknown’s ending was everything I wanted from him!! He abducts you from the RFA, spoils you with gifts, and ties a ribbon around your neck +_+ He’s menacing and creepy, but still very charming and fun about it. It’s thrilling. My only disappointment was that it was so short, but that sparked the hope that Cheritz had more plans for him. Surely, they wouldn’t include that as the only way to end up with him.

When V’s route was announced, I clung to the hope that they were also going to secretly include a Saeran route. I figured that the route would branch off from the prologue bad end and let us spy on the RFA or something.

So then V’s route came out. Gah…I could go on a huge tangent just about V, but all I will say is that I felt no chemistry with him at all, and grew quite annoyed with all the secrets and shenanigans. Ray intrigued me though. Due to not having enough HG, I had to wait to do V’s route, so seeing Ray’s name in the call card purchase thing and also seeing his little intro bubbles when you first start up game made me feel even more hyped. I was so eager to see what this dude’s deal was. Once I played, I was definitely enamored by his cute creepiness, though I was under the impression that it was Unknown putting on a sweet charade for the MC and would soon show his true colors. It did get to the point where I got a little frustrated with Ray and his lies, because I just wanted him to rip off his suit, ruffle his hair, and reveal his true self. That did end up happening…though much later and not at all how I expected. Anyways, Ray did grow on me more, and I found myself feeling frustrated and agitated once we got separated.

And then Unknown showed up. O. M. G. Did that man show up. I honestly still remember exactly what I was doing when that went down. I was upset about missing a Ray call, but then my friend messaged me and said that I was going to LOVE what was about it happen. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was still in my towel, hair dripping wet when I did the chat and got the phone call. THE PHONECALL!!! That had to be the moment that I feel deeply and madly in love with this man. The way he says that he wants you and even says he will show you the things that Ray wanted to do to you. I was on the edge of my seat. I was screaming, blushing and swooning. Even though he could be quite frightening, it was still very fun. I was so excited to see what would happen, and I even spent the extra HG to call him as much as I could. I was honestly hoping that he would come to the cabin, or that we would at least encounter him in person, but alas… he really wasn’t out all that long T_T

I will say that Ray being worried and upset about the possibility of Unknown hurting MC was quite touching. I really was developing feelings for Ray. I didn’t adore him as much as Mr. Sexy Edgelord, but I still liked him, which brings me to the topic of how Another Story handled Saeran. Yes, I do think that Ray was added to make Saeran “romanceable.” I really don’t see any signs of Ray in the OG game, however, my friend, TK, pointed out that during the secret end when Unknown and child!Saeran seem to have that back and forth and then shoot V, that was dissociation. So that could be a hint about him having DID. And it does make sense that Unknown would have eventually taken complete control by the time the OG timeline takes place. All that’s to say, I really don’t mind Ray. He’s a sweet and cute bebe and his creepy side is pretty fun. He and Unknown have a pretty interesting dynamic too. Both have the same desires for keeping MC while destroying V and Seven. It’s just that they go about it different. Unknown is bold and unapologetic, while Ray keeps things in and is much more gentlemanly. They clash, yet I could see them growing to get along and work together. They would honestly make an amazing team. As you can imagine, I was pretty sad when Ray died and furious at V for still not revealing the truth to Seven. Really V? REALLY!?!

So fast forward to when Ray’s route was announced. I was hyped. Absolutely HYPED. This was the most excited I had been about something in a long time. I preordered the Mint Eye box and then waited, and looked at endless fanart of Ray and Unknown. My predictions for the route was that we were going to save Ray from the fate of Unknown completely taking over. That we were going to teach him what real love was compared to obsession. After all, he acts very clingy and creepy in V’s route, so that seemed to be the problem that needed fixing. I also was highly anticipating what Unknown would do. We would be stuck with him, completely at his mercy. Hhhh +_+ I was also thinking that he and Ray would be constantly switching control and fighting each other. But I hoped that they would learn to accept each other. My main worries for the route were that 1. Unknown would disappear forever at the end. 2. MC would be taken away from Magenta and separated from Ray sometime during the route. And 3. Rika would get all freaky fresh and get in the way. Rika did ruin things, and Unknown did end up disappearing forever…or rather, he ended up not existing at all! But more on that later.

It felt like an eternity, but the box finally came. Waiting for the tracking was pure torture, but once it came OMG Here’s the mail it never fails~ It makes me wanna wag my tail~ When it comes I wanna wail MAAIIIIIIIIL~~~! Looking through the box was an absolute joy. The smiling picture of Ray in his diary melted my heart, and I put all of the pictures in frames. Though I will say I was disappointed about the lack of Unknown content…it should have been a red flag about his fate in the route. Anyways, I was going to start the game at midnight that night. It was around a twelve hour wait, but it felt so. much. longer!!! I remember I was listening to the soundtrack and couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I Am the Strongest hyped me up, I was almost certain that was going to be the song that played when Ray and Unknown fought, but alas… Four Seasons also made me cry. It made me so happy to think that Saeran would get a happy ending with MC T///T I even saw the trigger warning for the route and figured it involved Unknown being kinky and aggressive. Either that or them really delving into Saeran’s childhood abuse… T_T And once again, I was completely wrong.

Speaking of agonizing waits though, playing through those first four days before entering Ray’s route. Torture. Pure torture. I didn’t care about V, or the RFA, I just wanted Ray and Unknown. Once I got to the first new VN, my hands were so shaky and I was tearing up. Ray’s new faces were amazing, though at the time I hadn’t realized that the Ray I knew was about to change…

It was something I hadn’t noticed at first, but Ray’s creepy, possessive side completely vanishes. I get that he would decide not to give MC an elixir, but I still feel like he isn’t going to magically lose all of his creepiness. That was honestly what made him fun, and while I do understand his self-loathing, I do feel like it got repetitive. Chats during that branch started to sound the same, and I found myself getting antsy. I just wanted to spend time with Ray and get to know him more, but at the same time all the foreshadowing with Zen’s Jekyll and Hyde/White or whatever got me super SUPER EXCITED!

From what I understand, Hyde is based off of Jekyll’s darker impulses. He’s violent and sexually aggressive. Because let’s face it, Ray’s darker desires are that he wants to hurt Seven and V, along with making MC his. He’s just not as bold and active about it, but he does send that Prime Minister info to Seven along with the ripped pictures to V. He also does say a lot of creepy things to MC. It’s easy to imagine that Unknown would actually put these desires into action, and he has shown that he’s very capable of that in other routes. The symbolism was perfect for Ray and Unknown! I believe Zen also alluded to Jekyll and Hyde fighting for control, so I also thought that foreshadowed that Ray and Unknown were going to indeed duke it out. Imagine it. Fighting over your safety and wellbeing. One man just wants you happy, while the other wants to selfishly keep you all to himself. I was so pumped. SO PUMPED.

But then tragedy struck.

Thing is, I am a curious kitty. I’m a ho for spoiler, and me being me, I sniffed around and accidentally saw something I shouldn’t have saw. Someone was complaining that “Saeran” was way too mean to the MC. It went on to describe how he called her ugly, and smelly and how he would feed her.

I was crushed.

I was absolutely crushed. The thought of Unknown doing that was devastating. It just so happened that I saw that on the day that the switch happens, so I spent most of that day moping, and then the night dreading it.

Here’s the thing though. When it happened, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was. It didn’t hurt my feelings, but instead baffled me. This man seemed different than Unknown. Not only was he dressed completely different, but his voice seemed a lot more subdued. His laughs were not nearly as loud or high pitched, and even the chatroom… he felt different than the man who said he would come to cabin and drag me back to Mint Eye. His speech bubbles were even a different color. They’re blue in this, but then reddish in V’s route, the Christmas DLC, and the OG Prologue. (Fun fact, but before V’s route, Unknown’s bubbles were purple.) He seemed a lot less threatening, more extra, more insecure, more sane, and because of this, I’ve come to the conclusion that they are different people. Therefore, I’ll call him Suit Saeran. Now I know some people say that Suit Saeran is like the baby version of Unknown, but eh…that doesn’t explain why he’s so more like the OG Unknown in V’s route. I feel like Rika’s treatment of him affects how the new personality will act, and if we get a Rika route, my theory is that “Saeran” will become possessive of her and become your love rival for her.

Now I will say I get it. I get why Suit Saeran acts the way he does. It ties into Ray’s self-loathing, but…I feel like Unknown would have tied into the way Ray acts in V’s route. Why did they change Ray? Why didn’t they go with Unknown instead of Suit Saeran? Did they think Unknown was too violent? Did they think he was unlovable? Or was it that they were punishing Unknown fans for being so thirsty. Everyone in all the other routes cherishes MC for the most part …except in this route.  Suit Saeran and even Rika berate MC, call her useless, and pretty much say she’s better off dead. I personally found it ridiculous to the point of being comedic, but I do know that it deeply upset some people. I do think it went too far. For example, the CGs with Suit Saeran are great, but his dialogue during those scenes just ruins any enjoyment I could get from that.

I was so furious.

Unknown was truly the one thing I had been waiting for, and it felt like a slap in the face.

I will say that Suit Saeran apologizing and then the emergence of GE Saeran made things…kind of better. I was a little upset that Ray and Suit Saeran (And any other personas) seemed to be gone forever though, but GE Saeran was sweet, and after the abuse and agony of Mr. Posh Tie Boy, it was a Godsend. The phonecalls were great, and the chats were great, but that didn’t fix everything. Though looking back, I kind of feel like Ray didn’t really get any development in his own route. Even with the self-loathing plotline, he himself never learns to love himself. The last time you see him, he’s crying and saying how he was never meant to stay around. So he basically just disappears forever. At least Suit Saeran got to learn his mistakes and try to make things right. Idk. It’s just kind of upsetting and strange to me.

Anyways, there were still plenty of sleepless nights where I would just think about how Unknown wasn’t in the route, and how I would never be able to get to him or romance him. To this day, it’s still something that frustrates me to no end, and it’s honestly something that always will. I’ve lost hope that Cheritz will give us any other Unknown content. We haven’t gotten the after ends after all. The daki was nice, but dang…in a way, it’s kind of another slap. They were capable of writing a flirty Unknown. They were capable of writing him fighting Ray for MC’s affection. WHY WAS THIS NOT PUT IN THE ROUTE! THEY MAKE UNKNOWN SO SEDUCTIVE AND PASSIONATE ARGH IT’S WASTED POTENTIAL FSJDLKJLKSDJLFJSDLKfjls

There’s also the fact in the Halloween DLC that Ray compares himself to the Phantom of the Opera…and that dynamic once again fits Unknown more. The only time the Phantom talks mean to Christine is after she pulls off his mask after her first abduction, but it doesn’t last long, and otherwise he’s a lot more seductive and aggressive like…UNKNOWN. Sigh…heavy sigh… I’m a huge phangirl, and honestly I really do feel like the Phantom fits Ray and Unknown perfectly. T_T There’s his sweeter, more childlike, vulnerable angel side, and then his dark, seductive, murderous side. HHHHHHHhhhhhh.

I used to hate Suit Saeran, but now I don’t. I still kind of resent him for taking Unknown’s place, but when I look at him as a separate entity, he’s not so bad. He’s kind of funny, and there’s good fanart of him.

I’m really not sure how I feel about GE Saeran. Back then I had really liked him, but now I wonder if maybe…he had been a little too perfect? And it really bothers me how the other personas are gone. He seems really different from Redhead Saeran too. I get that he escaped from Mint Eye with less trauma and had MC along to help but… JFsldjflsfj idk though. I’ll see how he is in the after end. If we get a dark chocolate Valentine’s day with him unleashing his Unknown side then…I’ll forgive Cheritz…a little…but at this point, I’m not even sure if we’re getting the after ends.

Ultimately, if Unknown had never existed, then I would have liked this route a lot more. The fact that he’s not in it destroys my enjoyment of it.

Ah this is getting long, so I guess all I can do is make Unknown content, and make things the way I wanted them to be. I don’t plan on leaving this fandom any time so soon, so don’t worry about that~ And if you stayed to read this entire rambling rant then you’re so awesome T///T

Edit Feb 13th

So I wrote this a week or so ago and queued this for Feb 14th, and as you can see, I added tags talking about V’s route. I really liked Ray’s villainous side, but now that I’m farther in V’s route, I’ve got so much more to say. For one, my thoughts on Ray still stands, but Unknown. Oh my goodness Unknown.

I was determined to get all of his calls, just figuring that I would I get a fun little flirty time, but I got so much more than that. I can scream to the rooftops that he’s so much more fun and different than Suit Saeran, but he’s also in a lot of pain. It’s something that hadn’t quite sank in the first time around, but he’s happy to have his body back. He’s annoyed at Ray and thinks he’s too soft and an idiot, but a lot less harder on him than Suit Saeran is. 

But there’s a phonecall that really got to me. He doesn’t let you respond at all, but he wants you to listen. It seems like he wants someone to talk to.

You know...I still don’t get who I am.

I’ve been awake for only a few times. And I still don’t get how come I’m awake.

But I know one thing... I’ve been so freaking mad from the beginning.

I want to crush everything I see. I can’t control myself.

I just broke every single flower pot Ray was tending.

I felt a little better after stomping those frail roots.

What am I...?

Why did I wake up so suddenly?

Did I wake up for vengeance?

He then goes on to talk about torturing V, but the way he says this, there’s pain behind his growls and cackles. It hurts my heart. I don’t know...even if Cheritz intended for him and Suit Saeran to be the same person, the pain they go through feels different to me. It just feels like they changed so much about his and Ray’s character when they made Ray’s route.

Who is Unknown?

Who is he really?

Will we ever get to find out...? 

[eb-byestelle]

Ship game

Tagged by @fuzzykiddreamer (Thank you 💖 !!)

Shipping and Fandom Ask

Embrace your inner shipper!  Answer questions about your favorite ships or fandoms. Reblog to participate and let your ship flag fly!

1.What are your top 10 manga/anime ships of all time?

Top 10 anime/manga:

Yuuki x Kaname - Vampire Knight

Victor x Yuri – Yuri !!! on ice

Mirai x Akihito - Kyoukai no Kanata

Izumi x Ryouma - Love Stage!!

Shiomi x Orina - Psychic Academy (very unpopular but really sweet ship ;3) 

Emeraude x Zagato - Magic Knight Rayearth

Okabe x Kurisu - Steins;Gate

Edgar x Lydia - Hakushaku to Yousei

Yori x Iku - Boku wa Imouto ni Koi wo Suru

Valentino x Ranmaru - Ikoku Irokoi Romantan

I’m not very “shipper type”, but from anime/manga I guess these ten ships are sth I will always remember 💕 💖 💕 💖

2.What gif or screenshot most sums up your ship?

Yume

https://www.deviantart.com/jams-yy/art/Kaname-X-Yuuki-295424796

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/vampire-knight/images/34332617/title/vampire-knight-fanart

(I add the links because for some reasons these gifs make that post is not able to be saved)

3. Describe your favorite ship in seven words or less. 

Yume - Passionate, complicated, eternal love, above everything.

Victuuri - Harmonious, colorful, eros, agape, perfect duo,

Mirai x Akihito - Sacrifice, understanding, monsters in love.

Izumi x Ryouma - I love each part of you.

Shiomi x Orina - Innocent, lust, slow exploration.

Emeraude x Zagato - Protect your freedom - everything else can die.

Okabe x Makise - Time and space don’t matter.

Edgar x Lydia - Secrets, courtship, caramel hair.

Yori x Iku - Pure love, dirty love, love forever.

Valentino x Ranmaru - Opposites attract.

When I think which details connect all these ships, I’m gonna say: Romantic, unconventional, imperishable, full of mutual love and acceptation.

4.What’s your go-to episode or scene when you need ship feels?

Generally In this kind of situation I want to watch some moments when the love between couple is the most visible, usually when between the couple there is some intensive moment full of love.

Yume:

From manga VK: the whole vol 19 (including the cover 💖) - My heart melts when I look at each chapter T_T 💖

From anime VK: VKG - ep 2, 8 (I’ve always been in love with my own brother ;3) and 13 (this last scene T_T 💖 ..........)

Victuuri: the whole ep 10 - I.LOVE.WHOLE.THIS.EP !

Mirai x Akihito ; Shiomi x Orina ; Okabe x Kurisu: first kiss scenes (there is sth really moving in first kiss scenes ;3)

Izumi x Ryouma ; Yori x Iku: first time (both are just amazing...)

Lydia x Edgar: 

Ep 1 and some peculiary scene in ep 9 (bishounen + whiskey Jack Daniels + loved one = have fun! 💀🔥)

Emeraude x Zagato:

Two last eps of season 1 (romantic and horribly tragic at the same time...)

5.What song or songs remind you of your favorite fandom, character or ship?

Seal - Kiss from the rose 💕

It was a song when, while listening to it I read VK for the first time in 2010. In that moment I read first volume and I said: “Wow - This is great!” Later, after many years, after deeper listening, It turned out that the words of this song perfectly suit to the yume ship. From then on, I associate this song with both the first time when I was charmed by this series and with yume pair.

6. If the creators of your favorite fandom asked you to write the ship canon-confirmation episode, what will you write/how will it happen?

VK / Yume: A lot of things have already been said and done. However, I would doubtless make Yuuki and Kaname be together again (in the normal sense, not like now xp) and that Yuuki would say straight what we see while the whole series, but what hasn't been said directly - that Kaname is the love of her life and that she have never loved anyone so much as she loves Kaname. Such an expressions of feelings and the connection of these two after all these things they have survived (like in the case of Okabe x Kurisu or Mirai x Akihito) would be just a wonderful last chapter. In the case of anime series, I admit that I like the ending. And as for the continuation, we both know well how I would do it ^^

7.Do you prefer to indulge in (consume or create) fanart or fanfic of your favorite ship? 

I prefer to indulge in create fanarts and fanfic but usually not related to my favorite ships.

8.Smut or fluff? (VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION xD) 

I like both eqally ;3 Or remix 👀!!

9.What ship are you embarrassed to admit you like?

I guess none.

10.What task are you most likely to procrastinate so you can indulge in your ship or fandom?

Sometimes I’m able to not sleep all night because to the morning I’m talking with fans of sth I love, I’m watching my favorite serieses or watching/reading sth depends on it, don’t mentioning about when I’m writing sth by my own. Then the time doesn’t matter 💀 then anything doesn’t matter. It remind sth like a state of trance. - I recommend! 🔥🔥🔥

11.How many hours of the day do you spend reading fanfic or looking at fanart or other media? 

In case of fanfics and fanarts, none. I choose to look for some nice edits or news about real series. I can spend from few minutes to few hours, but not everyday, only sometimes.

12.How many memorabilia’s do you own of your favorite fandom or ship (clothes, plushies, etc.)? 

VK: The uniform of night class which I was sewing every day for two weeks so it’s really important to me 💖 I also have all 19 volumes, all DVDs, postcards, posters and badges. I will have soon also a fanbook ^^

Death Note: postcards, posters, badges and ofc. death note ;33

I have also a lot of some little details from various another serieses like all volumes of Love Stage. But mostly I focus on VK.

13.If you could own one authentic item from your favorite fandom world, what would it be?

All dragon balls xD or at least Goku’s four-star ball 💖

And the Kaname’s bed - with Kaname in the set! 🥂💕🔥

14.What fandom have you found to be too toxic to deal with?  

Since I have been on Tumblr, I got involved in only one fandom, so tbh, I can't answer it, because I have no comparison with another fandoms. I also don't have an intend to get too involved in other fandoms, at most superficially.

Nevertheless, withouth doubt the continuous ships-war is tiring and ridiculous. I've always wondered, why among zekis the some of them are still such stubborn, that they can't just get over it and admit that Yuuki's first choice was always Kaname, and Zero on the end turned out to be only the "consolation prize". This is a sad truth, but these are the facts. I think that the only way to real, honest coexistence is to accept this truth on the both sides. Just like when yume accepted that zeki is also a canon and Zero to a degree was also loved by Yuuki in a romantic way, though by not as strong love as Kaname.

It's all simple and transparent, it's enough to notice it. 

The answer: "She loves both equally." is no solution ... "She loves one the most." - this is the only acceptable solution in every LT. Even in Arabic harems there is a division on the "first wife" and "next wives". So it's a natural state of things - one the biggest choise. I think that this is the point of attachment and the right, healthy way to resolve this conflict.

It's interesting that when the VK manga was still published, among my native fandom there was also a clear division between yume and zeki. There was no hatred in this. It was just something like a gulf. Then I saw the same for MAL and here. It inspired me to create a theory that this division is not only a division into ships, but also a division based on a systems of views. And in such a situation it's quite difficult to blur the boundaries... That's why I think that determining ONE plot is the most reasonable way. Later we can at most see, how much my theory works in practice, and in how many cases it's jusr an ordinary, superficial choice of a "more cool ship in someone's taste".

15.Do you have or would you consider getting a tattoo depicting your favorite ship or fandom?

I don't think so I would ever have a tattoo, but I for sure wouldn't walk past indifferently next to earrings or necklace with the symbol of Cross Academy ;3 - I love this symbol, it's so beautiful !!

16.What is the strangest thing you’ve done to honor your favorite fandom, ship or character?

It’s hard tbh... One time I created with my friend some dumb “event” which looked like “A night with Kaname” xD She prefered Kain, but she also liked Kaname so it was no problem to do it with her. All night we created a funny or pervert memes, edits, posts, games, and we came up with that we would print the posters of our fave. As a result we didn’t do it but... when I think about it right now, this wish is still “alive” xD ...

It was also one night, when I wrote some poem about sth like “how it would be, if I would kiss someone like Kaname”. I mean, although I know he’s not real, it can’t be denied that It’s sth really pleasant to imagine that in our world there might exist someone such amazing like Kaname. This poem was sth like a vision of kiss with the potential, “real” Kaname. It’s a bit embarrasing, when I think about it because this erotic was incredibly personal and intimate, showing not just a kiss but some feelings accompanying to kiss the real love. So yeah, it was very personal and some kind of mix my deep symphaty and love to Kaname character + the description of my feelings while a real passionate kiss with someone, when my knees are bending, face is burning etc + the showing an experience of romantic moment with someone I love. So it was about Kaname and not about Kaname, sth between in other words xD

I also love to say about VK and Kaname in some serious discussion on studies. I think it’s nothing weird or embarassing to mentioned about some aspects from mangas on such an discussions. I think this manga are not just vampire and dumb LT thread but there is sth really deep and interesting, forcing as to think and reflect about what is love, sin, desire, death, will of life, etc... I love this in VK.

I’m tagging @eternalyumelove, @astharoshebarvon, @aphrodytevalentine

I know you guys love ships so have fun ! ;3 (If u want ;3)

[day-731]

2nd of many more anniversaries to come

HAPPIEST 2ND ANNIVERSARY MY MOON, MY BUBBY, MY BABU, MY BABE, MY KAPAY PARTNER FOR LIFEEE!! Its crazy how time flies (well i know were basically inside lang the whole of last year) but I seriously cannot believe that it’s been two years since your crazy act at greenbelt that made me ugly cry in public >:( I hate you for that but I also can’t thank you enough for having the courage to confess your feelings to me kasi now we’re here!!

Last year was honestly rough bubby, like really rough and I know that you know that too hahahaha but again, Thank you for still choosing to try and fight with me and Thank you for still choosing to love me everyday. Honestly, I never want to experience troubles like last year ever again but I know that for as long as we grow and stay together, we will encounter problems that might be worse than what we’ve experienced before. However, looking at how we’ve learned to handle things back then, I am not afraid anymore babu. The universe can throw its shittiest rocks at us but I know that as long as we choose to fight for us and for our love, we can go through literally anything and come out stronger than ever.

I didn’t know that I’m capable of giving this much love to a person but you make it all worth it, Babu. Always know that no matter what happens, what path you want to venture on, or whatever trouble you are dealing with you always have me and you’re never alone. I will always take care of you, support you in all your endeavors and I will always be by your side whether you’re at the bottom or at the top (HINDI SEMXY TIME AH). I gotchu always, as your girlfriend, babu pwincess, sexytary, your all around! your everything! HAHAHAHAHA 

Thank you babu for accepting me for who I am, for being happy (sana happy HAHAHA) of what I could give and offer. Thank you for all the learnings in life, comics, anime, games, and even the silliest and most random stuff we talked about. Thank you for helping me grow, for helping me become stronger and for taking very good care of me always.

I can’t wait to go on more adventures with you, to talk about greater, deeper things, dreams, whatever! I know we’ve been together for quite a long time now but still, I miss you and I love you even more every day!!! T_T Let’s conquer life, achieve our goals and dreams, and live to the fullest hand in hand. I’ll never let you go, you got me forever ;)  We’ll be kapay forever <3 (basta ako wifey mo :P)

 All the love, happiness, and tears from the past year helped us grow so much and I wish that as we continue our life together, our love will age like fine wine too.

Thank you for being my home, Thank you for the best 2 years of my life (and to forever)

Mahal na mahal kita, Gerard ko!!!

Happy 2nd Anniversary! <3

ps: gasgas na ba yung song?? iba dapat yan pero secret na muna for now kung ano dapat yung “iba” :P this letter was written yesterday and I was supposed to add something else to this litol virtual letter but then I cried and I couldn’t do what I was supposed to do without my voice cracking and me ending up bawling my eyes out hehehehe so i’ll save that for another time :p

Nasa makati ka man o cavite, you’ll always be my home!

xo,

Cole 

3-14-2021

[angeliaxy]

twenty things about me

Thank you ROO, for the tag. THIS IS VERY FUN~

Under read more bcs well. LOOONG xD

1. what is your favorite cartoon character?

OKAY. let’s just choose otome hubbies bcs I dont have anything else (with the exception of 2 FF boys idk if they’re ‘cartoon’ or not lol). I’ll just choose the ones who affected me the most or this will get super long xD

- Vlad   Honestly, I never fell THIS deep with otome guy UNTIL THIS GUY (and well Mitsuhide but let’s talk about him later). Everything about him is calling my soul. His appearance, his aesthetic (FLOWERS!!) Then, I went to Comte’s JP route and learning a lot more about his motivation, his personality.. ohmygod, I love everything about him??!! especially his /bad/ side!! and now.. I found MY OTOME SOULMATE, even I have to wait for years. I WILL WAIT and I will write a lot about youuuuu~

- Mitsuhide Ikesen   So, I’ve been Mitsuhide hoe since many many years ago, due to his history. THEN this Mitsuhide knocked every other Mitsuhide(s) out there and, omg just how layered he is and exactly someone who I would fall in love with?? He just sneaked his way to my heart since I saw him, well I downloaded Ikesen basically FOR HIM lol. LISTEN, I did all his route choices with +4 +4 results until the end. Perfect score, without hints/anything. I was both shook bcs it never happened before and ‘I DO LOVE HIM SO MUCH’. Another OTOME SOULMATE (ssshh I can have several ok~)

- Zen Mysme He helped me going through my worst depression years ago. My life felt so damn empty and I picked Mysme to play, then Zen. ZEN!! His overflowing love got me SOBBING everyday, like I cried in 90% of his chats/calls, and even until now. I can never get over him. I wrote random fics about him that time but I have disagreement with some of mysme aspects, so yeah, it was mostly fix-it fics *winks at Reira ehehehe* LOL. 

-Jumin Mysme THIS ONE. I KNEW I WOULD FALL FOR HIM SINCE I PICKED MYSME. (thank God Zen was the common route or I won’t play him bcs I would go straight for Jumin and stayed with him lol). And yet he still swept me off of my feet when I played his route. But unlike Zen, & the opposite actually, I feel like JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. Again, there were.. fix-it fics I wrote about him with my MC, just because. LOOOL.

-Victor Just.. Be mine, pretty pleaseeeeeeee? He’s my type 101% and he can call me dummy etc I would still love him xD While Jumin wrecked my heart but this CEO made me.. yearn. (and thirst. but let’s not get too far lol) I love his power, his strength and determination, his demeanor. BUT I just want his heart among everything else?? aaaaaaa.

-Theo This one oMG, he snuck on me so damn hard. He’s also someone I def would fall in love with. I just.. *sighs longingly* His devotion is what I adore the most. the LOYALTY, the whole bad guy vibe, but mostly. HIS BIG, BIG, SOFT HEART.

-Nobunaga I AM WEAK FOR HIM, I just love this devil king in both otome versions~ I’m always side-eyeing when people talked bad about these two versions of him. But then I think they just don’t understand him. still side-eyeing so hard, though~

-Comte Another ‘JUUUUST LET ME LOVE YOU’ case. I went to his JP route for Vlad but I slipped, fell for him too lol. Not usually my type, but he’s definitely the gentleman type I would want to wed (and bed??) LMAO ssshhh.

The rest are, well, obvious enough. Basically the ones who I write, I loooove them~

2. if you could be fluent in another language, which one would you choose?

Japanese. (and more English lol just to make writing easier)

3. what kind of food do you like the most?

SPICY FOOD. JAPANESE FOOD. and instant noodle haha. But I love sushi, abura soba, salmon, the moooost~

4. what is your favorite holiday memory?

I have a lot, I think? But going overseas!! Disneyland!! And I definitely love every visit I’ve done to Singapore. Never been to JP though *cries*

5. if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

JAPAN. and maybe Singapore. that’s it.

6. what is the worst job you’ve ever had?

My only and also current job. It’s just something I will never get used to because it’s the opposite of my artsy soul. So, RIP. Suffering forever. 

That time I did part-time for a private gaming server. that HURT bcs I fell for the one I worked with and let’s just say he was not available. I had to get out and disappeared from him lol. (still miss him sometimes.. sobs)

7. if you could meet anyone in history, who would it be?

Ehhhh. None. Not too interested in this. (Except if you count Mitsuhide, maybe? I want to know him looool)

8. if you could change one thing in your past, what would it be?

that I shouldn’t fall in love too easily? I had.. a lot of heartbreaking moments. AND I trusted people too easily back then, got used and back-stabbed too many times. so yeah.. kinda regretted that bcs it scarred me greatly

9. what is something that few people know about you?

That I write. Only 2 of my friends knew, and I won’t tell anyone else. This is my world, my safe haven.

I’m shy at first, but can be shameless after you get to know me HAHHAHA

10. if you had to evacuate your home, what would you take with you?

MY DOG. MY LAPTOP. lol, that’s it. OHHH WAIT. MY BJD DOLL, Charlotte!!! MUST SAVE HER.

11. you only get 3 words to describe yourself, what are they?

romantic, empathetic, and.. resilient I guess? my brain is currently tired lol

12. if you could jump into a pool of something, what would it be?

MONEY. LOOOL. nah, kidding. Not too interested in money. A POOL OF FLOWEEEEEEEEEEERS (just no thorns/poisonous flowers ok.) xD

13. if you could stop time for 1 hour, what would you do?

Write? idk, 1 hour is too short to do anything meaningful.

14. if you have a love potion that will make anyone love you back, who would it be?

MY 3D BIAS. PLS???? Any of them is ok, but that means I gotta deal with idol life... (sigh)

15. if your life was a movie, what would it be called?

Endless Sorrow. Yep~ (also one of my wip title xD)

16. if you have a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?

Why not both? HAHAHA but prob future. I’m just curious??

17. if you could be anyone in a movie, who would it be?

?? Ehm.. I have no idea tbh. I BLANKED.

18. if you can choose your couple’s name, what name would you choose?

idk? I need to find my soulmate and ask him first LMAOOOO

19. Where would you go for your dream holiday?

JAPAN PLS. T_T idk if I can ever go there.

20. would you rather live in a large urban city, a small town or in the countryside? Why?

Large urban city with PROPER & SAFE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, bcs LORD it’s so annoying here, where we need CARS to go around. It’s so limiting and ugh. And I love city too much to choose the other choices xD

[coe-lilium]

Would you be willing to rank the major Apocrypha characters (Masters and Servants) from best to worst? I'm curious as to how you would rank them

Gladly :D

Be warned that this will be 90% tastes and maybe 10% narrative/objective analysis. And sorry for taking so long to answer. Also, it got long ^^’

A concise, condensed ver before the cut

- 10+/10, tie between Mordred, Jeanne e Shirou

-  9.5/10: Semirams and Shishigou Kairi

- 8-7.5/10: Vlad, Achilles, Shakespeare, Caules 

- 7: Chiron, Fran, Atalanta, Karna, Fiore, Darnic

- 6, I start not caring: Gordes

- “wasted” and “still bitter after 5 years”, no numbers: Avicebron and Siegfried

- 5-4, it’s complicated: Astolfo

- 4: Sieg (and it might go down to 0, I’m serious)

- 3 to 0: Jack, Reika, Celenike 

Btw, I kept them vague, but spoilers/hints up to vol4 and 5

Rank “will fight the world for them, forever in Higashide’s debt, I wish one day for Nasu to write them himself because I trust the mushroom man to make me love them even more than I already do, 10+/10″: 

Mordred: SHE. Higashide’s best accomplishment in winning me over no matter other flaws. Tie with Gilgamesh as my favorite Nasuverse character ever.

There isn’t a single thing I don’t love about her (bar that atrocious “dress” under the armor, delete that). The armored and casual character design. The backstory as abused and exploited child who tries to break free of her mother influence and plots but ends up following them anyway because of her other parent rejection and, ultimately, how Morgan life lasting damage could not be undone without support. Her snarky, bratty, selfish and ferocious personality she show to the outside world and the hidden insecurities, the good heart and the ability to reflect on her flaws. Her loyalty and her desperate need for parental love and recognition as her own person. Her fighting style that is a delight to read or watch, truly a beast. Her chemistry and relationship with Shishigou, all of it. How it start in that cemetery, how develops over the course of the story, how she manage to open, connect and trust him and ultimately find a real father in him.

If I have to find a “wish this was expanded on” is her written in but not recognised by canon issues with gender/presentation which wasn’t a real issue for me until I read metas here and I’m now quite confused especially on how to write her (him?) in the future, when I’ll hopefully get at it.

The only reason I don’t completely wish for her and her Master to have been made MCs is the love I have for the following two guys and this couple steal too much of a spotlight from other characters.

Still, while theirs is a story more focused on personal growth and healing then deciding the fate of a great number of people or the world, in the end Mordred and Kairi saved each other so it could’ve still meshed neatly with the overall salvation theme. Sadly it was not meant to be but I’m more than content for what we got.

Jeanne: She. Who gets only second place and no caps lock because, a surprisingly good portrayal none withstanding, she could’ve been even better had Higashide done a bit more research (in his favour, I don’t know what kind of books on her are translated in Japanese and if the processes transcripts are among them).

For example I’ll forever maintain that, while the whole “romance” thing has a historical base (funny that, uh?), it required a way better realisation and as it’s written in Apocrypha does her character a disservice. Laeticia too, who was a potentially interesting “device” and could’ve been our outsider perspective, got derailed into more nonsense romance and aww poor Sieg and oh man, who-gives-a-damn: not me.

Also, not enough of a sarcastic spitfire or military prowess (“just waved the flag”, now that’s a funny way to write “half of Charles’ court was impressed by how good she was with every damn weapon”) for my tastes but I guess historical Jeanne is just that irreplaceable or TM chose to emphasise her piety and “sainthood” over other traits in order to avoid an Arturia 2.0.

Not a single mention to her mentors either, in 5 volumes (which is bad, extremely bad, Higashide why) and too much of Gilles de Rais nonsense but unfortunately Type Moon is committed to roll with it. Dunois, La Hire and d’Alencon never, poor me. 

That said, Fate!Jeanne is really a good interpretation, firmly rooted in history and I love, love her. 

Her faith and lack of hate are spot-on and are treated with respect instead of mocked. 

She’s allowed to have a no-nonsense and even ruthless soldier like attitude, a protective streak (which always remind me of that promise she made to a young noblewoman to keep her husband safe and bring him back to her, or how she took care of her young squire. Both survived her) and loth of empathy at the same time. 

She’s down to earth but can also be immature and have flaws and be tempted. 

This post is already long as it is, so here’s some more reasons I love Apo Jeanne: 

Novel Jeanne musing 1       

Jeanne meta from the manga 1

Jeanne meta from the manga 2

My eternal greatest disappointment will forever be the lack of a satisfying confrontation with Shirou. You write someone able to shake Jeanne d’Arc convictions, make her doubt her conduct and moral standing when the threat of torture and the Rouen process weren’t able do so... and you don’t follow on it? Unforgivable.   

Shirou: This guy. This absolute mess of a human being. I need more and no, GO, “evil alternative self” isn’t what I mean (but yeah, gimme him too). After discovering him in Apocrypha I started digging my university library to hunt down his IRL self story and there is no higher accomplishment for a Fateverse character for me.                                                                                    Fascinating person and fascinating take by TM, double so since I discovered dude’s still being vilified in contemporary Jp stories/entertainment and man do that enrage me.

It’s like someone mixed up a character I love (Kirei), one I loathe (Kiritsugu), shaked it and the result it’s the best possible one I could ask for. 

I like the character design (both), the historical and post 3HGW backstory and how it shaped him into a Jeanne opposite (for excellent reasons), the most “Kotomine” traits like the snark and trollish attitude and how they cover all the suffering, despair and hate boiling under the constant smirk. How Higashide avoided the “turned evil” interpretation that’s prevalent in jp entertainment and made him a good person and a hero, if a misguided one and also the trapping of a “void/hollow inside” personality and instead gave him those fragments where you see he’s still a 17yo kid. 

He’s not just interesting, he’s funny to read, even with all the angst going on.  

The interactions with Shakespeare are great and... his relationship with Semiramis. Man, that’s excellent, excellent stuff. Can’t gush enough about how much I love them together

My only great complaint -for now, until I see a certain late discovery with my own eyes- is that all the narrative build up and comparisons between him and Jeanne (done in-universe and acknowledged within the text mind you, I’m not headcanoning here) went wasted. 

How can you write two characters who mirror each other so perfectly, put them as “head” of their factions, in the same role both... and not deliver with a confrontation? The only thing that tried to do so was -ironically- the anime in ep #13, as their confrontation in the novels wasn’t as personal and as good as the anime.      

Rank “good, excellent civilisation, never get tired of them”, 9.5/10

Shishigou: best father ever, 100% should legally adopt Mordred. He was/is extremely enjoyable to read about, snarky, smart, his fucked-up magus backstory had long lasting effects but managed not to destroy him, on the outside your tough, broody mercenary making hard decision but actually a good, moral person with a caring nature and, again, a great father. 

As already said, his and Mordred narrative is less tied to the different views of salvation theme and more to the “people making their wishes come true” and they’re bit of outliers for the whole duration of the story but I wouldn’t change a thing (except one T_T). 

His relationship with Mordred is one of the absolute highlights of Apocrypha for me, in every medium.

Semiramis: shallow reason first: charming, scheming, hot asshole-ish royalty in league with a Kotomine troll, what more could’ve I asked for?                        That she was an interesting char in her own right, which is what I got.          

More in-depth, she’s another character I never have enough of. Begrudging sole responsible adult of red team, I couldn’t help but grin every time she had to deal with AKA team or single members, not to speak of her scenes with Shakespeare, which are both amusing and very good for characterisation. 

She may not have that much of screen time compared to other faves but earned her place by making what she had memorable. 

Her backstory is simple: abandoned child learns to exploit her society view on women to rise to the top and get everything she wants and fuck everything else. Which not only neatly establish how and why she became what she is but also why this broken kid, which is a sort of her exact opposite, fascinate her so much. 

Speaking about our broken resident Kotomine, her chemistry with Shirou is simply great, all of their scenes are a joy to read. They have fun plotting together, they (she, dude’s either too young to notice or just let it go) casually flirts, have a functioning, mostly open relationship from the get-go that works no matter how messed up they really are and get each other’s back until the very end. Most of the more lighthearted stuff is in vol 1-2, then things gets more interesting. 

See, as much as she seems to be (and like to present herself as such to enemies) the perfectly devoted Servant and is aiding Shirou… she’s also truly villainous, cold and ruthless as hell and is also very conflicted and switch back and forth on what she wants, not much as out of the War as instead from her Master in particular (don’t think bad… okay, do) for the whole series. Vol3 and 4 are a godsend for her character and you dunno how I wish we had more than a bare bone summary for vol 5 because god damn some things in that summary. 

With the many, many stay night or Zero parallels and homages in Apocrypha, she come off as a sort of reverse Zero Gilgamesh and Gilles in being, respectively, the devilish member of the  Kotomine - Servant pair and the “personal involvement/interest in the saint figure, sometimes verging on the creep-ish, predatory behaviour" one (Gilles was 100% full on creepy mode, Semiramis keeps her thoughts for herself and is just tempted. I strongly appreciate), “reverse” for being conflicted, but in the end being a better person than both dudes above and respecting and knowing her partner enough to let go of her worst desires/frustrations. There’s some really good stuff in these two’s relationship, let me tell you. 

If Mordred-Shishigou take the cake for best platonic relationship in Apo, Semiramis and Shirou single handy destroy every competition for the romantic one. 

Rank “You. I like you”, 8-7.5/10

Vlad: here’s someone I’m pretty content with how he’s written (I wouldn’t change a thing), but really wish had had more space just because I enjoyed him a lot. Higashide nailed him and I wanted more of a historical Vlad III who is a hero, a good ruler caring for his country and a ruthless warrior and executioner and none of this aspects negate the others. Plus, it was refreshing to see a Vlad III being so clearly separated from the “vampire” twist that his wish for the Grail was to erase book and legacy from existence.

Achilles: a simil Alexander, I dislike the IRL/myth dude but can’t stay mad with their Fate incarnations. I like his personality, his quirks, his relationships with Chiron and Atalanta. Loved the mocking duel (and the anime committee will hear me scream from the other side of the world if I get robbed of it  yeah, I wrote this part before ep17. Fuck you A1). 

I don’t even think he needed more screen time, he’s really fine with what’s shown. Not every character need to be a main one and Achilles manage to be a good secondary one, with enough development and characterisation.

Shakespeare: here’s an enjoyable dude I like to hate. Amusing character, his interactions with Semiramis and Shirou are a joy to read or watch, but, fuck this guy. May Moriarty and Saber Gilles have their way with you in Chaldea.

Caules: one of those rare beasts known as “perfectly functioning siblings” of the Nasuverese. Respect his Servant and tries to do her right till the end. A good dude.

Rank “could’ve shined more in a longer and more focused series, but okay” aka those who served their purpose, 7/10 

Chiron                                                                                                            Atalanta                                                                                                          Karna                                                                                                                Fran                                                                                                                  Fiore                                                                                                                Darnic

Not really anything to say about each one here. They’re fine as they are.            

Could’ve used more Darnic, the 3HGW is a fascinating subject no matter who the Einzbern decide to summon and his actions shaped the whole world of Apo. Personally I’d have cut the Jack business and expanded him as a character/treat, maybe to shed light into CT politics and magus society fuckery (because if there’s something the Yggdmillennia as a whole and each one of them in particular show is how the magi society is an aberration that twist and corrupt everything it touch). But in the end I know it was either Ygg vs CT as promised or Rulers against each other and I’ll gladly take the latter.  A longer series could’ve had space for both, who knows.

Rank “nice arc. There are more interesting people but I’ve come to appreciate you” 

Gordes: Probably the human character who experience more growth in the series.

Rank “wasted” and “decent what little is there, perhaps, but still bitter after five years”

Avicebron: also know as the poor thing similar to the antagonist in background and wish that could’ve worked with the themes while also being a personal foil to the protagonist in being a golem/artificial life creator and user but the writer couldn’t/wouldn’t bother with him for some reason and he only got to be the “Gilles de Rais summon Chtlulu and heroes have to team up to bring him down” of Apocrypha, with no other purpose than being a Zero “homage”. 

To add insult to injury, the Adam threat does literally jack shit on a narrative point because “Servant goes stray and threaten the world, Servants form both factions have to team up to defeat him” already happened, 2 episodes before for the anime, end of vol2 vs beginning of vol3 for the novel version. And Mordred and Shishigou making an alliance with the surviving Black members was already going to be a thing after the Gardens mess. Shame, shame and shame.

Siegfried:  tainbocuailnge here has written some good meta about him lately and, yeah, perhaps all of that was intended, and I can kinda appreciate it. The point is that I couldn’t give a single crap over the OC when for him to come into being means sacrificing freaking Siegfried. I may not have read as much or being already attached to the literature/epic character like other cases but… no, just no. Siegfried deserved way better than what he got in Type Moon. 

Add more personal bitterness because with such numbers I thought it was finally time for the Heroes to shine and for the Masters to be sidelined and instead we got super special super powered MC. To hell with it.  

If anything, Siegfried may be the only character the anime did more good than damage. He’s still there and sometimes get to act as a mentor instead of being a useful power up and then fucking off for the remaining 4 volumes.

Rank “I tried to like you, I wish I could like you, but I cannot stand you no matter what”, 5-4

Astolfo: I’ve tried to like him but to no avail (rest assured, though, that I’ll deck anyone who’ll try use that t*ap or “girl” bullshit). 

It has to be that unholy combination of extremely airhead personality and mannerism, all the screen time he gets that could’ve gone to my favourites, that idiotic attempt at a “love triangle” (for the love of God, Higashide) and a voice acting that, I swear, even if I already didn’t like him from the novel the anime would’ve been the nail in the coffin. All these combined make him grates on my nerves like few other Fate characters. Perhaps part of my distaste comes from being unable to shake the feeling that the author himself don’t respect him.

I realise it’s quite… unfair, because on the page he has everything I usually like: he’s brave, he’s kind, he has morals and will maintain them in front of everything, he stand up to assholes, he save and inspire people, you can overpower him as much as you like and he still won’t care and will still fight you. 

Astolfo is a good, decently written character and I really wish the franchise would just stop using him as a joke and stop being so gross to him in order to cater to even more gross “fans”. 

If I were to put tastes/guts feelings aside, I could praise him for pages. I simply can’t bring myself closing the gaps from appreciating the undeniable qualities to actually like the character. 

Rank: fluctuating between “your concept should’ve been handled by a more experienced narrator” and “goddamn, does your very existence piss me off”, pending more on the second as we go on, less than 4

Sieg: on the page kid’s got a good arc. An homunculus, a magus’s tool, trash to be used and disposed off, gains consciousness and, shaped by what he witness and the actions and sacrifices of heroic figures, rise to free his kin from their slavers and then find himself fighting to “save the world”. How he attained freedom and have come to interpret it and his experiences put him in the path of the antagonist and the two and their “ideologies” makes for an interesting double face of the coin, forced salvation vs free offer and answer to actual prayers. Sounds pretty great. 

Unfortunately, Higashide aimed too high for his skills or didn’t learn well from Nasu and Shirou Emiya, or both. 

Otakus mad because he “got the waifu” aside, Sieg do come across as too damn lucky and overpowered and there is a limit on how much the in-universe reason “damn, the Counter Force had to work hard to give him a chance to stop a Heroic Spirit with hundreds time his experience” can go before the readers start getting annoyed at Heroes dropping dead or getting sidelined just to push him forward. 

I’m not a fan of these buzzwords, but the impression he’s a fan fiction OC that force the original and more interesting cast to revolve around/sacrifice for him or hijack their plots is damn strong. Scrap it, it’s not an impression, it’s exactly what happen. In at least 4 or 5 cases. 

There were also too many times he bore me to death so not really what you want from your protagonist. 

Another thing, more grave than personal preferences: his wish/fight firstly go nowhere, then get resolved too quickly without a fuss and then, once his goal has been effortlessly achieved, he proceeds to tag along and stole duels and confrontations from other characters, on which he had no stakes nor reason to be. What kind of writing is this?! He get the contract with Astolfo, walks in the castle and the Yggd agree on releasing the homunculi. And that’s it. Wow?

Also here’s my 100% personal reason for not having an ounce of interest in Sieg, godly writing skills or not: for once, just once, we could’ve got our first Fate solo female protagonist. An all-around badass but, at the same time, not an Arturia nor Shiki nor Arc nor Aoko clone. Who just happened to be my favourite historical figure ever.

Could’ve kept the same theme of opposing concepts of salvation, brought the Ruler vs Ruler/Saint vs Saint thing in the spotlight, with all their nice baggage of similar lives resulting in  opposite views by different regrets and traumas, faith or lack (that instead got all swept under the rug, and man if the self awareness of vol4 isn’t something to behold) and after five years I still feel personally robbed of all of this, especially when it became clear Apocrypha was yet another “male protagonist with the world revolving around him while the female heroine gets to be his support/sidekick. Oh, and as already said, he get the confrontation with whom the narrative builds as her rival”. Because of course he does. 

You don’t sideline Jeanne frigging d’Arc and expect me to forgive you for it.

Rank “why are you even here, why are we wasting anything on you”

Jack and Reika: ye god, why. The concept behind this Jack the Ripper? I find Fake ver superior but I’m on board. Then, first, that fucking character design. Sorry BL, reddit, MAL and whatever: putting a child in a thong is a revolting choice of character design and no, there’s no “well, she learned from prostitutes” that count.    I appreciate at least the connection made with Atalanta. But the execution. Their “plot” drag and drag on and goes nowhere (hilariously so in the anime. What was the point of Jack killing some random homunculi and disappearing for the whole arc, again?). Their only narrative purpose is doing ???? for roughly three volumes, *do that* to Atalanta and shaking Sieg’s worldview. At least they grant Jeanne some badass solo scenes and to us more insight on her character. Still the equivalent of a anime-only filler, and a bad one. 

Pity, really, because a child Jack who 1. is a child and act as one and 2. get heavily influenced by her/their Master and thus could either become a better person or be exploited wasn’t that bad of a twist for a famous figure but the pair was never allowed to be more than “Apo pair of rogue murderers”. 

Celenike: just… begone. I cheered when she died in the novel, cheered loudly when she died in the anime and will cheer even more loudly when she will die in the manga.