#SAND DESERVES THE UNIVERSE

[nomaishuttle]

also ive veen thinking abt my ocs..na bunch of names came to me as if they were a vision from god

[kroosluvr]

temptation

i lowkey have too many notes to write down properly KDFHKDS but ill write them down for Future Cele so i can read it later and be like omggg past cele ur so fun and interesting

in general, the more "color" the scenes have, the closer it is to "real life" as opposed to the muted/hushed winter blues of maruki's reality

i.e. the dark frames w akira smiling and the very last panel are when reality sinks in: first for akira, then for goro

by the way this is long winter au but sumire is still brainwashed. this also works for canonverse but i just had long winter au in mind:o

youve heard of laundry and taxes now get ready for coffee and pastries

in every panel, akira is smiling! :) and goro is very much not smiling.

intentionally his face is hidden in the last 2 pages so its unclear whether it's the "ideal reality" already (akira/goro's daydreams/wants/desires), or if goro is still fighting akira on making sure he picks the right choice

the smoke from the first page kinda leads into the 3rd page omfg COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL BUT REALLY COOL LMAOOO

that's nameless and belladonna in jazz jin!!! i love them. I LOVETHEM. i miss them so bad is it obvious

the cafe is loosely based off of caffe strada @ uc berkeley LMAO. my parents used to take me there a lot as a little kid so that's the first cafe i think of when i imagine one. its like right on the streetside, basically on the sidewalk, so its very bustling and people are always walking by... probably a little disconcerting to see everyones summery bright smiles despite the bitter cold and snow

in long winter AU, the Ideal Reality starts before 1/1 so yeah they get to see the new years fireworks together (or something)

also intentional that they wear the same winter outfits in the whole comic although it Probably does not take place at the same time. in maruki's snowglobe, time seems frozen in place... but akira and goro are both acutely aware that the sands are running thru QUICK

goro's frustrated expression on page 3 is one also of disdain: "don't speak FOR me you fucking imbecile" type of expression.

goro, who's never lived a normal life and therefore doesn't know much abt "normalcy" nor really actively seeks it. this 3rd semester is basically purgatory for him and he doesn't care to try and go through the motions the way akira does. akira what do YOU know about the type of "normalcy" i deserve? how do YOU know if i "deserve" that?

im thinking that this is a naive akira who is mostly set on taking the deal because he feels hopeless... seeing all his friends with good happy lives while goro and himself are alive and miserable and shouldering the weight of the world during the horror of long winter......

oh but if he takes the deal they could all be good and alive and happy!!!.... and goro knows this. i feel like in any other universe (i.e. akira is 100% certain on not taking the deal and goro knows this) then goro would be happy and carefree to do these little indulgences for himself and akira's sake, to just enjoy the snowglobe world while it exists.

but this goro is discontent. he sees how akira is enjoying the snowglobe and knows maruki is depending on this. goro has to be the one to remind akira that none of this is his to keep........ in this fucked up world, routine is dangerous. becoming comfortable is dangerous. they cannot keep any of this.

on that note, goro says "i hate you" in a halfhearted sort of way (it's not true and akira knows that.) but he's trying to think of a way that he can dissuade akira from picking the wrong choice.....

and i think the thing is, goro thinks all of this, but he still falls into the rhythm of routine with akira anyway. in a way, goro feels hopeless too.

all of this is maruki's doing........ paralyzed by the inability to choose... whatever you do, you lose. goro needs to hold akira at arm's length so the stupid sentimental fool doesn't get too attached and falls into the wrong universe. akira needs to make a concentrated effort to detach himself from goro even though he wants the simplest thing in the world: just one more unremarkable day with him. it's lose-lose..........,

also i liked drawing the tentacles in the last pic the freaking blue lines on them were SO satisfying to draw

edit: also the last page: the blood flooding the panel….. the idea of the ideal world being built off of the blood and sweat and tears and bodies of the people who could have been. of those lost in the actualization, of those destroyed, of those stitched together and brought back to life. all just for a little false happiness. goro sees it but akira doesn’t, and it’s a grim sight.

[thatnonameuser]

abt ur yandere twst au; do darlings get kidnapped for ransom? For example: would people kidnap Leona’s darling in order to get ransom (they’d be killed instead)?

Want a rich yandere to freak the fuck out the moment they realise their darling is missing and give you more money than you know what to do with, which is actually a bluff, because you’re actually going to die from extensive torture once their darling is safe? Kidnap their darling, your wallet and grave will thank you.

But yes, it does happen. Which is why wealthy yanderes take very severe precautions.

I’ve mentioned before that Kalim’s father has taken some very morally black methods to protect his darling and his kids from kidnappers. (here if you’re interested). But if a darling is kidnapped for ransom and their lives are threatened, the kidnapper better have the entire universe on their side because they’re as good as dead.

Yanderes don’t mess around. They’ll pay whatever fee they have to, nothing is too high. But as soon as the darling’s safe, the yandere will stain their hands in blood. 

So at the trade off for the darling, expect that once you’re back in their arms, the kidnapper is dead. Deader than dead, not even a shred remains. If the yandere doesn’t kill them, then they hire assassins. If they do kill them, then it’s just that much worse for the kidnapper. They’re not getting out of this alive.

Also because I’m feeling nice. Enjoy some semi-imagines with the rich boys of TWST having MC get kidnapped and their reaction to it.

Leona Kingscholar

Pissed. Very pissed. He may not be king but that doesn’t excuse the guards not doing their god damn jobs and keeping you safe. (He will be more angry if he finds out that Falena’s wife didn’t get kidnapped and you did, just throwing gasoline onto the fire.) And to make matters worse, they’re threatening to kill you. Well, they’re fucking dead.

Leona may be angry but he’s still smart. He isn’t risking letting anything happen to you, so he’ll play along until he can guarantee that you’re safe before killing whoever had the balls to kidnap you. And since he’s a prince, he can bend the law to get you back. The beastman’s coming for you himself, and he’ll turn anyone that threatens you to grains of sand under his palm. 

After he gets you back, he’s not going to let you out of his sight. And if he has to, he’s always going to be nearby. His rage hasn’t calmed down at all either. Plain and simple, you’re his and anyone that gets in the way of that deserves a slow death, and the fact that he nearly lost you is weighing on him. 

Before getting you back - Furious, ready to kill and reduce whoever's stolen you to sand.

After getting you back - Still angry, you're not leaving his sight or going near anyone that's not him.

Kalim Al-Asim

Sunshine boy’s panicking. Like completely panicking. He’s been kidnapped before and (while that’s a can of worms for another day), you haven’t gone through something so scary before. To him, he thinks that  you must be so terrified, surrounded by strangers that want to hurt you for something as shallow as money.

So after Jamil calms him down enough to think rationally, he begs for his help to save you. After all, you’re in terrible danger and he’s ready to throw as much money as he has to save you if need be but he doesn’t want to risk them trying again in the future. Plus he’s the hair of the Asim family, he might get kidnapped or killed too and then who will protect you.

So sending assassins is to foil their operation, and bring you home is the best bet. And they’re the best money can buy.

You’ll probably be a little shaken when you come home, and a little bit of kidnapper blood might be on your skin, but it's nothing a nice bath and a fest won't cure. Just expect to constantly be followed around by a team of at least six bodyguards. Or maybe Najma. Just know that Kalim is considering taking after dear old dad.

Before getting you back - Kalim's worried to death about not seeing you again. Or you getting hurt. 

After getting you back - He's gone over-protective not allowing you to ever go missing or get hurt ever again. He'll take the morally gray way out if he needs to, but he can’t bear to risk losing you.

Vil Schoenheit

If he gets stress wrinkles because of this, he’ll make sure that the kidnappers suffer even more. Vil’s used to threats of kidnapping, the fact the imbeciles actually went through with it is brave. Incredibly stupid, but brave. Regardless, he’s losing his mind with worry and anger. His fans are deranged, he’s worried for your safety. 

To Vil’s benefit, he has Rook. And Rook’s UM is basically goated when it comes to locating someone not meant to be found. So obviously, Rook goes to get you with orders from Vil to bring your kidnappers back with you for him to deal with. 

Vil will do his best to keep this crisis away from the media. He doesn’t need for you to be mobbed by the press, so expect a delightful trip to an isolated, relaxing and aesthetically pleasing vacation somewhere in the Shaftlands to protect you. But that relaxing little trip, is also so he can torture those imbeciles for the rest of their miserable little lives. He may not like portraying a villain but he’ll be one if he’s pushed. Besides, Rook will happily take care of the bodies. 

He’ll calm down after you’re out of harm's way, but anticipate that he won't ever let you out in public without him or someone he trusts with you.

Before getting you back - Pissed with a poker face. He’s worried for your well-being, and if a hair is harmed on your head, he’ll snap.

After getting you back - He’ll calm down, but he’ll start to be very protective. Don’t ask him about the screams you might hear in the basement of where you’re staying when he’s not with you, it’s nothing important.

Neige LeBlanche

One of the prices of fame. Neige is horrified that someone would try to take you to take advantage of him. Honestly, he would have rather been the one whose life was held on the line than have you brought into the mess. Neige has never been more scared in his entire life.

Obviously, he’ll get you back. Hand off the money and everything, but he’s not happy about those ‘villains’ going unpunished for scaring you like that. As soon as he’s sure that you’ll be safe and sound. He’ll go to the press to tell his heartbreaking story.

So que the imminent waterworks to the paparazzi. After all, he knows they’ll be immediately moved. Neige’s most precious one, his darling, had their life threatened and he was terrified that he wouldn’t get you back before it’s too late. 

His fans do the rest. 

On the impromptu vacation Neige took you on to help you recover from the experience, (or more specifically, the trip to a very isolated location where you both can be alone with no kidnappers in sight) Neige will receive some ‘fan mail’ with the remains of the perpetrators. He won’t show you though, you’ve been through so much recently. 

Before getting you back - He's so scared for you. You're his princess he can't bear to lose you for even a second. So having you gone is a nightmare.

After getting you back - Relieved. He's so happy to have you back. You're never leaving his side again. He's a little peeved that someone tried to disrupt your happily ever after, but they’re no longer breathing so who cares. 

Idia Shroud

Panic attack. Instant Panic attack, Ortho better have Baymax functions because he’s gonna pass out in panic. How the hell did this even happen?! He has drones following you constantly! 

After he has his panic attack, he’s burning red in anger. How dare they?! How fucking dare they?! He’s putting all his energy into figuring out every last thing about your kidnappers’ lives. He’ll find you, obviously. And then he’ll send S.T.Y.X after them to return you home while he ruins their entire lives. Then he'll kill those noobs so that he sends a message.

As soon as you’re back, he’s a sobbing wreck. He’s already lost Ortho, he can’t lose you too. You won’t be leaving his room while he has his pity party. And you probably shouldn’t because it’ll just make him feel even worse. Comfort him a bit, will ya?

Before getting you back - A whirlwind of panic and anger. He’s in doxxing mode, man. Your kidnappers better be prepared to suffer for a while, before he gets merciful and kills them.

After getting you back - Tears, so many tears. And he’ll be a koala with how clingy he’ll be. 

Malleus Draconia

Whichever kidnapper thought this was a good idea needs to get their brain checked because it’s currently missing. The exact second Malleus realizes the danger you’re in, he’s turning into a dragon to find and save you and then kill the kidnappers in a raging inferno. Forget stopping to plan or temporarily co-operating, the man’s gone to find you before the ransom letter hits the floor. (Sure there’s the threat of iron, but he doesn’t care you’re in danger.)

In a word, he’s furious. In a lot of words, he’s so angry that a category five hurricane has started outside to reflect his rage. If even a hair is missing from your head, he’s probably going to lose it. Gotta love that he’s enchanted all your jewelry to serve as tracking devices. Because he’s there in under an hour, burning your kidnappers to death till nothing remains. After that, it’s back home to put you into a tower so heavily fortified and reinforced that a fly couldn’t accidentally get through the door. 

Once you’re safe, the sadness kicks in. He can’t bear to lose you ever. So the fact that he let his guard down enough to nearly let you be killed is breaking him. His entire purpose is to protect and love you, and he’s failed in that, so please do your best to reassure him that you’re not going to leave him, he’s had a hard ten minutes. 

Oh, but don’t expect to go outside for the next year though once you do. He’s not exactly under the impression that you won’t be taken from him again. So he’s going to be even more clingy and protective.

Before getting you back - Angry, infuriated, vengeful. He's killing someone today and it's going to be one or all of your kidnappers. 

After getting you back - Sad dragon hours. He's craving reassurance and your love to make himself feel better. Give him cuddles, please.

[figsnpassionfruits]

Turbulences

a/n: ahh where were all these fics when i was 15 and desperately longing for logannnnn?!?!!? anyway- here is another source of logan fics: me <33 word count: 748 tags: logan howlett x fem!reader (can be read as gn!), angst, fluff' warnings: mentions of death, canon-typical violence implications, logan having logan feelings dividers by: @strangergraphics-archive pictures are from pinterest

He should have known this would have happened. When sent by the X-Men to go change the past; he should have known. Out of all the years he had been alive, why here? Why did he have to land right here? Logan had spent years trying to forget about this. Trying to forget about you. And here you were being the big spoon, an arm thrown over his neck, a leg of yours intertwined with his within the messy sand-colored bedsheets.

Even though he had just gotten here, he knew exactly where he was. This was the home you both shared together. The place the both of you had spent weeks decorating, eager to call one another each other’s home. He knew it even before he opened his eyes, his enhanced sense of smell dominating his being. When he finally collected his strength to open his eyes, he inhaled deeply. Maybe it was to inhale your scent. Maybe it was an effort to calm himself. Regardless, he did not even know which one it was for.

Once his eyes adjusted to the warm morning sun beaming through the windows, he placed a hand on your wrist, closing his eyes slowly as he did. It hurt him. He did not deserve to get to touch you again. Not after knowing that your fate was inevitable. Logan let out a long and shaky sigh, blinking his eyes open, not allowing a single tear to form. His hand was still on your wrist, his mind yelling at him to let go but his body desperately clinging for the familiar feeling of holding a lover.

After another deep breath and wrestling with his inner thoughts, Logan allowed himself to rub his thumbs along his grip he had on your skin. It was as soft as he remembered. Without letting himself think too much, he pulled your arm up to his face to place a soft kiss on one of your knuckles. Instinctively, he leaned his head down, resting his nose on your hand, inhaling your scent further.

Not realizing it, a tear had fallen onto your skin. Logan watched the salty drop of liquid trickling down your wrist, the sunrays making it shimmer. As a response your wrist twitched, the feeling of the water alerting your body in your deep state of sleep. Not wanting it to disturb you any further, Logan wiped off the remains with the same thumb he had caressed your skin with.

Perhaps seconds passed, perhaps minutes; Logan decided that it was time to face you. There was no running anymore. He was in this room with you at your old home that held the best memories of his life. You were here and you were alive. Either way, he had an objective, a mission, that he was sent to complete. No matter how much he wanted to forget about that, the way he wanted to forget about you, he could not. And it fucking hurt.

Resting his body weight on a forearm, Logan sat up slightly, turning his body to face your sleeping frame.

There you were.

Messy bed hair, slightly apart lips and as beautiful as he remembered.

Reluctantly he put a hand on your cheek, his breath hitching once his skin made contact with yours. This felt so wrong. But this was how it always should have been. Domestic and intimate. Any physical contact reminded him of your death. There were too many answers that he had never gotten. Were you screaming? Was it quick? Did you suffer? Were you scared? All he knew was that he was responsible. If you had never met him, you would not have died.

Lost in his thoughts, Logan ignored the stinging feeling in his eyes, indicating yet another tear close to escaping. He travelled his other hand underneath the sheets, resting it at the small of your waist, caressing the skin while thanking the universe that you were a heavy sleeper.

He did not want to allow himself to kiss you. He did not deserve it.

But you did.

With a glance at the clock hanging across from your bed, Logan fixed his gaze back onto you, taking in every feature of yours. He did not have much time.

Exhaling a breath he did not he was holding, Logan finally closed the distance, delivering a kiss to your lips.

He had to get up and leave now. He knew he did.

But he really did not want to.  

🍯

[milkloafy]

wait..... this is hella cute!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 if ur free to do reqs could you do hsr boys summer headcanons? im not sure if theyre open so it's fine if u dont thx!!! 🩷🩷

SUMMER SUN; SUMMER FUN — AVENTURINE, DAN HENG, JING YUAN

⋆｡˚ ❀ a/n: ty anon for the request!! :> yes they are open so request awayyy ! i love summer sm best season fr so this was such a fun vibe to write :3 i hope u enjoy! i wasn’t sure which hsr guys u wanted so i just picked my current favs AHDKSLDK 

𝜗𝜚 — AVENTURINE

aventurine would love going to the beach with you 

building sand castles, picking seashells, jumping over the shallow waves along the shore

it all feels fun and refreshing to him. something he did not have the luxury to feel when he was younger

at your encouragement, he signs the two of you up for surf lessons one day

aventurine is…not a natural 

you’re both falling off the boards and needing the instructor to come and fish you out of the waves

after a few too many close calls, aventurine decides he never wants to go surfing again 

when the sun sets and golden hour hits, you take one million photos of aventurine, at minimum 

he models and poses for you, enjoying your excitement whenever you get a good shot 

once you’d had your fill, aventurine sneaks a few photos of you as well

he shows you his favorite beach pic of you with a smile

“you’re prettier than the sunset” 

aventurine ends the day off by buying ice cream for the two of you as you head home <3 

𝜗𝜚 — DAN HENG

while dan heng likes the warmth, he is not a fan of the summer heat

he prefers staying indoors during the summer, at the library or in museum with minimal walking around outside during the day

however, he does like sitting underneath the shade of a tree and reading a book 

some days, he’ll set up a hammock between two trees and ask you to join him 

when the heat cools down and the darkness graces the earth, dan heng likes to walk around and go stargazing 

the temperature is perfect at night—not too hot but also not cold enough to need anything other than a long sleeve shirt or a light jacket

dan heng has read about all the constellations you can see in the summer 

he’s disappointed there’s too much light pollution in most places, but for the stars he can see, he points it out to you and explains the story behind it

what constellation it’s part of, what planet is next to it, is that a space vehicle or a cosmo? 

he would definitely go on one of those websites that sell you a star lmao and “buy” one for you

even though he’s aware it’s a scam, he know you’d find it cute. dan heng shows you the certificate of your new star ownership and the two of you look for the coordinates in the night sky together <3

“you deserve the universe, but for now i got you a star”

𝜗𝜚 — JING YUAN

jing yuan thinks going to an amusement park is the peak summertime activity 

doesn’t matter if you are sweating buckets waiting in the long lines surround by body heat. jing yuan comes prepared. he has a hat, a battery-powered fan with a built-in mist spray, and water bottles with ice 

of course, he shares all that with you once you get tired of using your foldable fan

jing yuan is an amusement park snack afficionado. a salty pretzel? yes. a sweet treat? yes. a whole ass turkey leg? also yes. 

you are never hungry during your outing since jing yuan has you covered 

when you want photos taken of you, you show jing yuan exactly how you want it—angle and zoom and everything

yet when he takes the photo, it comes out off

crooked. blurry. you’re half cut off…

the only good photo he took of you is one where you weren’t prepared and have a horrendously silly look on your face 

“jing yuan… delete that right now.” 

“why? i believe it is called a ‘candid’ by the young folks. very popular.” 

you may not have come out with good photos of yourself, but at least you and jing yuan had fun and will treasure these memories forever. no matter how bad the photo to capture it is. 

[forlix]

"better, now."

words・749 / pairing・hyunjin x gn!stylist!reader / includes・fluff, established relationship, alcohol consumption / note・an extremely self-indulgent kinda emo take on hyunjin @ vfw. takes place in the crying lightning universe.

Hyunjin is gone.

He stopped walking and started floating about five drinks ago, bode farewell to coherent sentences and his eyesight not too long after. Simply kept plucking flutes of champagne off trays carried around by kindred waiters and let himself bask in the glorious evening.

When his stylist shows up in front of him, he mistakes them for the moon.

Gentle hands push strands of sweaty hair out of his eyes, then move to cup his cheeks fondly, protectively, as if imprinting final touches into a snow angel. He watches your lips form his name from mere centimeters away, but the sound of it seems to travel underwater.

“Hyunjin,” you repeat, more audibly this time, a lick of crisp night air cutting through the afterparty’s steamy throng.

He proceeds to melt into you in ways he cannot currently control, sliding a hand over the one you have on the side of his face, fingertips dipping in the slots between yours. Bringing you close enough to him that your chest moulds right against his. Grinning at you with a sickening sweetness that he can taste on his own mouth.

“Hi,” he replies.

“You okay? How are you?” You inquire. “Do you need anything?”

“Hi,” he says again, because he can’t really think of anything else, and that seems to be answer enough.

Before he knows it, he’s walking somewhere, guided only by the arm that he has slung over your shoulders and your silhouette, just barely discernible in the dim venue, which he would follow to the ends of the earth.

An indeterminate amount of time later, he’s standing in the doorway of an unoccupied lounge. The tables of polished mahogany and gold foil have become graveyards of empty wine glasses, but the couch in the middle of the room has been left pristine.

Only after he sits down does the lightheadedness hit, and it hits hard, hard enough to shut his eyes and furrow his brow. His brain swings around the inside of his skull like a pendulum.

There is a delicate brush of your finger against his chin, your quiet request for him to lift it up, and then something hard and cold comes to rest on his lower lip. Water surrounds his tonsils and slips down his throat. A few stray rivulets escape down the side of his neck, then disappear into the napkin that you have pressed upon the skin.

By the time he’s downed the whole glass, he can feel his wits beginning to return—with them, the rest of his senses. His eyes crack open again.

“Hot,” he whispers. “It’s hot.”

You move your hands to his shoulders. Moments later, his jacket is a leather mass over the back of the couch, and he feels his dizziness subside, his oxygen return. 

“Better?”

With the music so far away, he hears the concern in your tone with crystalline clarity. He leans over to press his lips to the underside of your jaw, conveying a silent message: better, now.

He didn’t have plans to spend the night backstage, but the premise seems riveting where he comes to lie. His head nestled in the plush of your lap, the rest of him stretched across the sofa, your hand carding through his hair with the soporific lull of a mellow tide.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles suddenly, and you look down at him, confused.

“For?”

“Getting so drunk.”

If your hand is the tide, your laugh is the sand, warm and ubiquitous and all-consuming. “You had a good time, yeah?”

A good time. What an understatement for the maelstrom of feeling still raging on within him, the happiness and disbelief and pride and gratitude to himself, to you. To us.

“The best,” he answers.

“That’s all that matters, then,” you hum, your thumb dusting over his hairline. “You deserve to celebrate.”

He’s still too drunk to really think, but he doesn’t have to think when it comes to you—just knows in the very wellsprings of his soul all the love you’ve woven into the thing you’re about to say, by the infinitesimal softening of your eyes alone.

“You deserve everything, baby.”

He lifts your wrist to his lips, presses a kiss to your pulse. Above him, your features blur, then come back into focus. His answer is so soft that he almost can’t hear it over the warble of his heartbeat and the descent of his tears.

“I’ve got it right here.”

🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa・@randomwimp・@automaticpersonabatpaper・@aceofvernons・@linos-kitten・@newhope8・@weedforthoughtz

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[raining-anonymously]

alright let’s do this.

see here for the pages on trespassing, soul suckers, and the grim reaper (yes, the grim reaper is canon to the beetlejuice cinematic universe).

yes, i know the page is unreadable. the shot lasts maybe two seconds and the words aren’t in focus for any of them. but, eyes be damned, i need the lore, so check the alt text for a transcription.

ugh. that was a pain to try and read.

implications under the cut!

for whatever reason, it is important that the rectangle is completed. they state it twice on these pages. if they’d gone with rule of three i’d be convinced that something terrible happens if the rectangle is incomplete.

“Sandworm” is a proper noun.

betelgeuse surviving the sandworm was not a fluke. sandworms can’t permakill ghosts.

therefore, delores WILL reform.

we see from beej’s and delores’s terrified reactions to the worms that eat them that sandworms are, in fact, feared by ghosts—even by the older ones who should know that they won’t be double-dead. same for the page, which calls the sandworms dangerous and says only to summon them in emergencies. ghosts can be physically harmed, as shown by betelgeuse cutting barbara’s hand and adam hurting betelgeuse’s foot, so it’s reasonable to believe that being eaten hurts a TON.

also, being eaten by sandworms sends ghosts back to the waiting room, which i can’t imagine is a thrilling prospect. it also potentially diminishes power—betelgeuse can’t defend himself against the witch doctor, although he’s possibly just less powerful in the netherworld. sandworms are also said to be soul sucker’s weaknesses, so maybe soul suckers also lose their power? and maybe, just maybe, they also lose the souls they’ve sucked? MAYBE BOB IS OKAY????????? let me dream

the term “fleshbag” is official handbook language, not wolf jackson language.

the language in the book implies that living people have died to sand worms before.

rory formed in the afterlife as a million tiny particles. (deserved.) maybe he can shapeshift like he’s made out of sand, that would be cool. he doesn’t deserve to be that cool.

sandworms are theorized to have sensitive eyes! this isn’t an implication, really—i’m directly paraphrasing the book—but i think it’s neat!

[scarletwinterxx]

sweeter than fiction - dad mark lee scenario

hellooo ~ i know a lot of you waited for dad mark🥺to be honest, i'm not sure if there will be a next one. this one feels like that full circle moment. But i'm not one to close doors so maybe in the future I will write more but it might take a while before i make one. thank you again for loving this series so muchhh, from all thirteen parts of my heart THANK YOU THANK YOU🥺🤍🤍🤍

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

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Navigating parenthood is not an easy task, to this day it's still a daunting task. Mark's eldest son is already 13 but until now there are days he worries he might not be doing it right.

Then he thinks of you, how you've basically dedicated your life growing and nurturing your family and all he can think about is how lucky he is. You have gifted him with three beautiful children and a home you've built with love, compassion, kindness and everything good in this world. To Mark, you deserve nothing less than the universe but for now all he can give you is a luxury vacation with your mom.

At first you were reluctant to leave him with all 3 kids but Minjung is at that age where he already helps around the house, Minjee is grown enough too and knows just what she likes and when she likes it and Minsu well he's still a baby but Mark can handle that.

Or so he says.

"Buddy, can you check on your sister please? She's been quiet for five minutes. I'm getting worried" Mark tells his oldest while the youngest is fast asleep in his arms after drinking milk.

Minjung gets up from where he was reading his book to go check on his sister, it was still early in the day so Mark's thinking of taking everyone out to pass some time.

Mark waits for the two siblings to come downstairs after calling their names, the two walking towards the living room "How about we go out for the day? Go to the beach and have a picnic?" he suggests

"But mom said you can't cook, you're not allowed to touch the stove" Minjee says like she's teasing her dad

"I'm not going to, missy. We're going to get food outside then we'll have a picnic"

"Sounds fun" Minjung says

"Can I bring some plushies?" Minjee asks "You can take two"

"But daaaad"

"Nope not today, sissy. It's only the four of us okay? If one of your dolls get lost I can't find it. You can take them all next time"

The little girl pouts but nods her head. Mark gives himself a mental pat in the back for not saying yes to her so easily, you'd be proud of him.

"Okay, go get ready. We'll leave in a while"

The trip to the beach was quick, turns out Minjee is very much like you. She didn’t enjoy being under the sun for too long and didn’t like it when the sand get between her toes. It was adorable but Mark can only handle so much alone so the four of them ended up at a nearby ice cream shop before heading home. 

When they got home, Mark ordered food for everyone since he’s still banned from cooking and the kids wanted pizza for dinner so that’s what he got. Then he got them ready for bed before checking the house and making his way upstairs to your bedroom. 

Mark just finished talking with you on the phone when he hears the knocking on the bedroom door before Minjung pokes his head in, “Dad? Can I go in?”

“Hey buddy, what’s up? Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” Mark asks his oldest son, patting your side of the bed. Minjung walks towards his dad, getting on the bed beside his dad

“There’s something I want to ask you” he says, playing with his fingers. A mannerism he got from you, Mark notices. You used to do that too when you’re about to ask him about something. 

“What is it?” he asks his son

“How did you tell mom you liked her?”

Mark was definitely not expecting that question, and he’s definitely not ready for one of his babies to start asking about love. 

“How did I tell your mom I liked her?” Mark asked back, making Minjung nod his head

“Well I uh, actually it’s a funny story” Mark smiles as he recalls the memory from that day. The start of you and him. “I had a big crush on your mom, I liked her so so much I always get nervous when I talk to her, I always end up saying only two to three words to her. She was the prettiest girl in class, she’s smart, confident. I really thought she was waaaay out of my league. But she was always nice to me, she always talked to me in class, shared her notes with me when I was busy or I missed a class. Then I thought about asking her to get ice cream after school but I got too shy, your uncle Hyuck had to help me”

“What happened?” Minjung asks, smiling up at his dad. Excited to hear the story.

“He literally pushed me in front of your mom and told her I had something to say. I stuttered so bad but she just smiled at me, that was the day I embarrassed myself in front of her but that was also the day she said yes to getting ice cream with me” Mark grins at his son, their smiles a mirror of each other. 

Now he realizes Minjung has always been surrounded with love because of you and him. He didn’t have to worry because his son knows what love is.  Him and his siblings are a product of that love, and also this home. 

Everyday Minjung hears his mom laugh at his dad’s joke even though sometimes it’s not that funny, everyday he sees his dad smile at his mom even when she’s not looking, everyday he sees them hugging in the kitchen during the quiet morning just before all the rush, everyday he sees his dad come in the door after a long day at work with his arms wide open waiting for his mom’s hug like a homecoming ceremony. 

“How did you know you love mom?”

“It’s a lot of things all at once. I don’t know how to describe it, not even now after being together for so many years. A part of me always knew she was the one even before I fully realized it. I don’t remember life before her or what comes after her. I just know I live for her, and you and your siblings” he tells his son, giving his hair a ruffle “You’ll know what I’m talking about one day”

“So, I just ask her to go get ice cream with me?” Minjung asks

Oh right, Mark remembers what this conversation was about. “Yea, just think about what she likes. If she likes ice cream then yeah, or if she likes going out for a walk how about a walk in the park or movies. Just be genuine, always be a gentleman and respect her decision”

Minjung nods at his father’s words, “When is mom coming home?”

“Tomorrow”

“Can I uh, stay here with you? Can we watch Spiderman?”

Mark can never say no to his kids, even after all these years of being a dad he still doesn’t know how to do it. That’s why he always gets scolded by you because the kids know they can ask him if there’s something they want and you say no. 

“Sure buddy, that sounds fun. Go get the remote”

A few hours later, the father-son look alike is fast asleep on the bed. The tv playing in the background, casting a light on the two. That was the sight that welcomed you when you entered the bedroom. 

You wanted to surprise Mark by coming home tonight but it looks like you’re the one being surprised. Mark was snoring lightly while Minjung was sleeping beside him, you see the movie playing on the screen and chuckle to yourself. Minhyung and Minjung really are twins. 

Watching Minjung grow up, you see more of Mark in him as the years pass by. Feels like yesterday you just took him home, two very nervous first time parents. Now your first baby is growing up to be a fine young man. 

Walking slowly towards the bed, you get the remote first to turn off the tv. Pulling the covers over Minjung to make sure he’s tucked in. Leaning down to give him a goodnight kiss before going back to Mark’s side. There was enough space for you to scoot yourself in, you lay your head on his chest. The feeling of something or someone rather, laying on him makes Mark wake up from his slumber

“Huh?” he grumbles, arms reaching out to feel around the bed. Then he recognizes immediately who it was “Baby, you’re here already?”

“Yea, I wanted to surprise you and the kids” you whisper back. You feel his arms tighten around you, holding you closer on his chest and giving you a kiss on the forehead. 

“Is everything okay with Minjung?” you ask, wondering why he’s sleeping here

“Huh? Oh yea, we were just watching a movie. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow. Are you okay sleeping here? You comfy?”

You smile at his question, there’s really no place more comfortable than his embrace. You lean your head up to kiss him on the chin before tucking yourself back into him. “I’m good here. Goodnight, baby”

“I missed you” you hear him say before sleep takes over once again. 

And that’s how you ended your day, with your two boys with you. The next morning, you wake up before the two boys. You gently pry away from Mark’s grip to check on your other babies. You check Minjee first, she’s still fast asleep on her bed while cuddling one of her many plushies. She’s always been a deep sleeper. You know not to wake her up or else she’ll be grumpy the whole day so you let her be. 

Next you check your youngest, Minsu. The baby boy also still fast asleep in his crib. Now a year old, he’s a mix of you and Mark. He got your nose and his father’s cheeks. He likes watching his older brother play the piano ad loves dancing with his big sister. Minsu is the beloved youngest member of the Lee family. 

You make your way downstairs to start breakfast, but first you make yourself a cup of coffee. You were waiting for the coffee to brew when you feel a pair of arms circle your waist, your husband burrying his face on the side of your neck

“Goodmorning, Mr. Lee. How was your sleep?” 

“Better, now that you’re back. But you left so I woke up”

You chuckle at how adorable Mark was, even after all these years he can still make the butterflies in your stomach flutter all around. It’s silly but your crush for your husband never really went away, if anything it just got stronger over the years. 

“You’re cute, so how was the kids while I was gone?” you ask him, this time Mark rests his chin on your shoulder to tell you about the previous happenings while you were gone

“Minsu is an angel, he loves the baby food you left. I think it was the mashed avocado one. Minjee can now ride a bike, she’s still wobbly but she’s definitely better than you”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding baby, but am I wrong? You don’t know how to ride a bike” he teases you

“I know how to ride you” you tease him back. You can hear Mark laugh from behind you, feeling his chest vibrate against your back “That you do, don’t tempt me”

You turn around in his arms so now you’re chest to chest, Mark looks down at you eyes full of love “I missed you” he mumbles 

“Missed you too, where’s my kiss?” You don’t need to ask him twice, his lips are immediately on yours. You can feel him smile against your lips, arms tightening around you. You enjoyed the short vacation but really there’s no place you’d rather be, this is your own safe haven. 

Mark is  and will forever your own getaway. 

Breaking away from each other, Mark peppers kisses all over your face eliciting giggles from you. 

“By the way, is Minjung okay? Why was he in our room last night?” you ask your husband

“Oh yea, he just wanted to ask me about something. Be ready though”

“Be ready for what?”

“Our son asked me how I asked you out, I think he’s planning to ask someone out on a date”

You stare back at him with a shocked look, just like Mark expected. 

“Our baby’s all grown up now. Remember when you first left us home alone” Mark chuckles

“Nooooo, my baby boy”

“Well he’s not so baby anymore”

You can’t even begin to describe what you’re feeling, you’re definitely not ready for this. “What did you tell him?” you ask

“Exactly what happened when I asked you out”

“You mean when you asked me out to get ice cream, that time Hyuck literally pushed you towards me” you chuckle as you remember that day

“Mhm”

“Now that you said that, I’m wondering too. Why did you like me?” you ask him

“That’s like asking why the sky is blue” Mark mumbles, rolling his eyes playfully

“Indulge me, come on tell meeee. Or how did you know you loved me”

“I’m gonna tell you because we’re already married so you can’t run away from me now. I knew I was going to marry you the moment we met. I just knew. You smiled at me and I just know that was a smile I want to see every morning I wake up and every night before I go to sleep. I knew I loved you when you got me a bible for my birthday after I lost my old one. You said you weren’t the most religious person but you went out your way to get that for me. You loved me in ways I didn’t know I could find love. If one day Minjung ask me again about love, I’ll tell him all about you because that’s what love means to me. It’s you”

“Oh my gosh, our baby is all grown up. What are we going to do? I’m not ready for this” you tell him, eyes filled tears both from his declaration of love and the idea of your little being in love

“Hey don’t cry. It’s exciting to see him growing up, and he’s not shy asking us about what to do so it’s a good thing. We’ll be there when he needs us, our baby still needs us” he cradles your face in hands, ready to wipe any tear that’s threatening to spill

“Where did the time go? Next thing we know it’s Jee asking us if she can go out on a date. What will you do then?” you ask with a laugh

“Easy, I’ll go with them”

“You’re not going to our daughter’s first date”

“Like heck I won’t. I’ll be three tables away, she won’t even notice I’m there”

You laugh at Mark’s future plan, there’s never really a dull day being married to him. Even though you’re never sure what the future holds, one thing you’re sure of is you’re ready to face it as long as you have him by your side. You used to dream about this life you have with him, marrying the man of your dreams and live happily ever after. 

But Mark gave you so much more than that, he gave you the fairytale reality others can only dream about. He’s the dream man made just for you and he’s yours in this lifetime. 

part1: day with dad mark lee

part2: another day with dad mark lee

part3: a day with the lee's

part4: (prologue) i don't know how to make eggs

part5: glitter pens and goodnight kisses with the Lee's

part6: first love and kisses

part7: naps and baby kicks

part8: then there was three

part9: just like you

part10: fool for you

part11: your day

[ma1dita]

Duddee, now you gotta write luke proposing to trouble, you simply cannot now IBHBHKK

the perfect weekend

a ‘partners in crime’ alternate universe installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader

alternate universe masterpost

words: 1.2k (this was too cute the word count escaped me)

summary: alternate universe - the perfect weekend with your perfect boy, even if he thinks otherwise

a/n: happy luke happy luke happy luke FIANCE LUKE 

(posted 2/4/23 unbetad and written on caffeine)

—

This weekend felt like a dream.

Luke took you to your favorite spots that you’ve both carved memories out of in Westport, buying you and his mom gorgeous fresh flowers from the farmers’ market, and he let you drag him around his hometown, spending hours in tiny antique shops and the record store on Main Street. He couldn’t get over how you always found fun in the simple things— even going to the pharmacy to pick up his mom’s medication felt like going to Disney World with you. He couldn’t be more sure of his decision, it was almost inconceivable to spend another day without you being his fiancee.

But luck wasn’t known to be on his side, after all (yeah, thanks dad). Luke’s always had to work harder to get what he wants, and he’s spent the past few years trying to prove himself to your dad—though deep down, he thinks Mr. D doesn’t mind him as much as he makes it seem. (Asking him for his blessing last week over a bottle of wine and a bone-shaking hug scared the wits out of him. He pretended to not notice the god cry.)

Luke just wants to give you what you deserve. And if he needs to spend the rest of his life working on it to prove it, he ought to do it with you by his side.

But he couldn’t think of how.

He tried proposing over dinner last night, with the smell of burnt cookies in the air, but that wasn’t romantic at all, and his hands were shaking so hard he knocked a glass over, prompting you and his mom to fuss over the mess and giggle over his silliness. You both chatted deep into the night, Luke sitting quietly and nodding at two of his favorite women babbling about who knows what (Sometimes he’s still convinced you like his mom more than him, but the way you both take care of him makes him tear up if he thinks too hard about it).

When you went horseriding this afternoon, he set up a picnic for lunch, which was romantic. Chocolate-covered strawberries and sandwiches made by mom, sparkling cider twinkling in the sun. Luke was sure it was going to be great timing— until he realized the ring box fell out of his pocket again, and he slipped in manure trying to rush you back to the house (The sound of your laughter at clumsiness made his heart warm though, and it almost made up for the three hours he looked for the stupid box in the grass that night when you fell asleep with his tiny Star Wars-themed flashlight).

He woke you up early before the sun rose, carrying you out to the car still bundled up in his old Toy Story throw blanket that you wouldn’t let him toss out when he brought it to college (The faded pictures of Buzz and Woody kept a smile on your face, and the memories it brought make you feel connected to 9-year-old Luke). The drive to the beach was short, a sleepy smile on your face as you felt Luke grab onto your hand, sand getting between your toes before he laid out a blanket and the both of you sat down.

Cracking open a redbull for the both of you to sip on, you leaned against his muscled frame, legs hanging over his lap as he wiped the sand off your feet, holding you close as he smiled.

“Good morning, handsome,” you grinned, leaning up for a kiss. Luke obliged, savoring the taste of you mixed with sleep and artificial peach. Your noses nudge against each other before he mumbles a reply, “Good morning, pretty girl.”

“Y’know? I could die happy just like this. I can’t think of anything else that would make this weekend more perfect.”

Luke hummed in contemplation, “I could think of a few things,” he said, as a laugh bubbled from his lips. A noise of confusion rose from you as you reached up to dust lint off his shirt before your knee nudged something hard in his pocket, and your eyebrow raised in mischief.

“Dirty boy, you get me out of your mom’s house and you’re already excited?”

And he laughed the stress off until it freed itself from his bones, pure elation radiating off of him before Eos even had a chance to spread her first rays of light into the sky. 

He’s never needed perfect.

He just needs you.

His hands dug into his pocket, pulling out the ring box that’s caused him so much trouble this weekend. But a life with you should’ve already prepared him for that—and the shock on your face became funnier when you launched yourself on top of him, kicking up sand and taking the air out of his lungs.

You both hit the ground with a loud thud, your nose buried in his chest as he chuckles at your scream. Why was he even worried to begin with? 

“Wait, wait, I still have something to say trouble, don’t jump ahead of the script!”

His hand rubbed your back in gentle strokes as he popped the box open to reveal a delicate golden band with two diamonds juxtaposed against each other sitting pretty on top.

“It’s always been you and me. And I’ve spent hours thinking of what to say, days trying to figure out when the time would be right, months working for a pretty ring that’s perfect for you, years loving you… and well… I want more. I want this, you and me spending the rest of our lives together because I can’t comprehend a future without you. I’d do anything for you trouble, and I don’t believe in much, but I believe in you. Us.”

You’ve cried so hard by this point that you’re convinced it’s so goddamn ugly but Luke smiles at you like he’s been promised immortality. And perhaps he has, with the future you two will have scrolling through his mind like an old film, a house on a hill, kids, a dog, shit—whatever you want as long as he’s with you it’ll be the closest thing to forever he’d have.

“Are you sure?” you said sniffling, and your boyfriend wiped your tears away like he has countless times before, though happy tears are something he’ll have to get used to.

“I literally ruined your proposal, I just thought you were horny, oh my gods…” Whining loudly and laughing, you held your shaking hand out as he sat up to put the ring on your finger.

“Well, we can fix that later. I still have a question to ask, after all.”

Luke grinned when your head nodded rapidly, finally shutting up so you wouldn’t interrupt him again.

“Will you,” he says so surely now, saying your name before continuing, “let me have the honor of spending the rest of our lives together as your husband?”

“Gods, yes. Fucking hell angelface, did you really think I’d say no?”

The both of you laughed through tears and snot as he placed the ring on your left hand, and still, it couldn’t be more perfect.

“A life with trouble is the life for me,” he mused, laughing as you covered his face in kisses before the both of you fell back into the sand a tangle of lips and lust and love.

You jolted up from your fiance’s embrace just as he thought he was going to get lucky, almost emptying your entire wallet of drachmas into the sand-covered blanket to Iris message your friends.

---

(pics are not representative of reader's appearance or gender just a lil visual for funsies)

ask to be added to general/luke taglists!

luke taglist (struck out won't let me tag, turn on my post notifs?): @kissingyourgrl @dorcas4meadowes @lorarri @andrewgarfldsgf @noodlesketchbook @10ava01 @poppysrin @ashisabitgay @timhalamet @liv1104 @leeknows-wife @mxtokko @bugcuti3 @luvvfromme @midmourn @2hiigh2cry @yuminako @niktwazny303 @lukecastellandefender @intergalactic-padawan @iliketopgun @annybah @dangelnleif @thegrinningghost @alyssajunelle @obxstiles @m00ng4z3r @visndcaitswhore @b0ok-lover @elegant-face-tree @this-barbie-is-having-breakdowns @amortencjja @idonevenknow1359 @maliaaaa @targaryenluvs @sakyira @dhdjdjjdhsjdiri @number-onekidqueen @nininehaaa @bradynoonswife @stevenknightmarc @hoodedhavok @happy-mushrooms @homebyeleven @anotherblackreader @too-deviant @liviessun

[dotthings]

Legit reasons why people expected a more satisfying conclusion to spn:

Dean’s long arc telegraphing a movement toward hope. He went from fatalistically believing the only happy ending he could ever get was Sam living a long life while Dean was doomed to die bloody and too soon to believing he could have his own happy ending too with toes in the sand and his closest people there (not just Sam).

Previous experience with spn’s powerful and effective and fuller storytelling

The fact that Dean deserved better than that rebar death at the hand of low budget vampmimes. Dean is the character most short-changed by the ending. People who care are not the ones out of line who don’t comprehend spn.

The fact that Sam deserved better than having every single arc he ever had dropped like a hot potato and all he got was a bad party city wig

The fact that Cas deseved better than to be shut out of the series finale after 12 seasons of being key to all the major mytharc plots and a crucial found family character close to Sam and Dean, especially dear to Dean.

The fact that spn wrote, right into the story, Chuck smirking and pleased about his unsatisfying, miserable, bleak ending while Becky denounced and analyzed why that wouldn’t work narratively and why fans would find it unsatisfying

The found family theme on spn which has been there the entire time and deserved better than to be vanished.

The fact of a global pandemic that screwed up filming of the series finale until all that was left was scraps of the full intention. We’re trying to grade an incomplete. People’s feelings about the finale are valid but otoh, it’s also trying to analyze it is like trying to infer from scraps of parchment what the whole text was about. Personally, I’ve come around to writing it off as an abberation and not forgetting all the good spn gave me along the way. spn deserves a second chance to tell a better ending.

The fact that stories do, in fact, have an obligation to create fulfilling, satisfying endings and people are in their right to object when this obligation fails. This doesn’t mean endings must be free of tragedy or bittersweet notes.

Actually, no, this is not about Sam and Dean and Cas move to the burbs, spec about endings that fall outside of likelihood and spn’s purview and that disregard the actual metaphysical systems the canon always had in place are a distraction. Unfortunately some people weaponized that and used it to start another war, full of their own low media literacy takes and arrogance, shaming others for a legitimate yearning for a more satisfying ending.

This is about spn fulfilling its story promises in a more satisfying way than the aired finale, within the genre and framework spn occupied.

spn was never the style of narrative that was about hopelessness, it was about hope.

It was Campbellian and heroic. spn being about monster hunting doesn’t mean it has no obligations to a fulfilling, satisfying ending that offers some comfort. Stories inspire people.

You can’t have it both ways. When fans keep talking about how spn helps give them hope and inspires them, you don’t turn around and start playing “it’s just fiction so it’s okay if the ending was unsatisfying to most of the fanbase.” You either respect the meaning the story has to people personally or you don’t. Make up your mind if you think the story matters or it doesn’t.

A majority of the fandom was left screwed over, and the people who keep insisting it’s perfect and that anyone who finds it unsatisfying is a Bad Fan keep on demonstrating their disdain for Dean, their ignorance and disregard for spn’s great overall themes, and their narrow-mindedness about spn. I’m not here to be the joy police, I could care less if they enjoyed the series finale, but the actual problem here is the continued aggression, shaming, attempts to stifle all dissent, and demanding universal acceptance of the series finale as “satisfying” via utterly fallacious arguments. They love to troll about it and crave drama because the unhappiness of other lanes pleases this minority who keeps banging on to claim they’re Everyone and all “Normal” fans.

Imagine being that far gone that you think anyone who craves a satisfying ending for a series so many fans are so deeply emotionally attached to after 15 seasons is a freak.

*raises glass* Onward to the future. Here’s to a more satisfying conclusion having its chance to get told in the revival.

[nadvs]

What about their first night as a married couple? And,above all,where do they go for the honeymoon and how many times he’s fucking her???😮‍💨😮‍💨

love this question 🤭

set in the home before dark universe

they jet off on their honeymoon the night of the wedding and he takes her somewhere expensive asllll like bora bora 🙂‍↕️ and she’s a kook too so he knows it’ll be hard to impress her since she’s already lived such a lavish life so he rents a private beachfront villa. they’re right by the water and get their meals delivered by boat and go on sunset cruises. he lives to spoil her like she can never ask for too much from him.

he tells her to pick whatever she wants out of the resort catalogue and he points out that they offer massages and she’s like “what, can’t you massage me?” and 🤭 he lays her on the bed and rubs her all over and fucks her slower than he ever has. every night when the sun sets, he takes her to the shoreline and they make love on the sand and when they go back inside, they fuck in the shower.

they’re in a haze the whole week, fucking at least twice a day and one night, while they’re tangled together, naked and panting, she whispers that she could live like this forever, just eating and having sex over and over, so the next morning, he extends their stay to as long as they’ll let them rent out the villa because he loves giving her the life she deserves!!

[dragon-kazansky]

Heart of the Dreaming

Morpheus x Female Reader

Soulmate AU

You are the daughter of Rodrick Burgess. You find out about the "demon" in the basement and decide you want to see it. Things take an unexpected turn when your soulmate connection is made with the man you find down there. You are the one he has been waiting for, and you're being taken away from. Not for long. Dream will protect his soulmate.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Chapter Four - Pocket full of sand

☆☆☆

You had been locked away in that house for so long that you had no idea just how much the world had changed. You had never really been to London before, but you were sure even then it had been much different to the London you are in today.

You turn around to see Dream composing himself. He looked a little... tired, dare you say. He looks at you silently.

"You alright?" You ask.

He nods and then turns around. It's dark out, not many people around. He would know Constantine when he saw her. She had his sand.

You stand a good few steps away from him, holding yourself. You didn't bring a coat. You didn't exactly have time to bring anything. You were in a city you couldn't navigate, and your only companion was a strange man who had told you you were his soulmate.

It was a lot to take in one night.

"Constantine."

You turn around to see Dream looking at a woman in a long coat. She doesn't exactly hang about. The conversation is short as she directs his attention to a raven that has landed on the bench behind you. You find yourself confused at its sudden appearance. It seemed to be watching Dream.

"I do not need a raven."

You look at Dream, confused. The man was talking to a bird. Of all the crazy things you've seen so far in regards to this man, this was the craziest.

"Lucienne said you'd say that," the raven spoke.

You stare at the bird with wide eyes. "It's talking?"

"Uh, I'm Matthew," the raven replies.

"It's talking!"

Dream stands beside you and looks down at the raven. He doesn't act like he heard what you were saying. His attention was fully on the bird. "I do not need a raven," he repeats.

"Respectively, sir, you do." Matthew caws.

"Go back to the Dreaming."

"Look, she's got away!" Matthew exclaims, looking behind Dream.

Morpheus turns and finds Constantine has completely vanished from sight. She's made sure to put distance between them.

Dream turns to you. "Fine. You stay here with him. Don't move."

"What?" You look at him with slight panic. He can see it in your eyes.

"Just wait for me."

Dream walks off, and you scoff in disbelief. This man, who is supposedly your soulmate, has the audacity to "rescue" you from your family home and then abandon you in an unfamiliar city? The universe could have chosen someone with more dignity at least to tie you with.

You sit on the bench with a huff. Matthew cocks his head to the side, looking at you intently. You turn and glare at him, causing him to take a few steps away from you along the back of the bench.

"So, uh..." He snaps his beak gently, making a clicking sound, "who are you?"

"No one important," you sigh.

"That can't be true. Wait, are you the woman Lucienne mentioned? She said he had gone off to rescue someone."

"Does everyone know about this?" You ask.

"No? Not that I know of."

"I'm sorry, but how are you talking? You're a bird!" You look at him.

"I don't know. I just... am. I wasn't always a bird, mind you. I was like you once."

"Like me?"

"A human." He cocks his head again.

"Oh... What happened?"

"I, uh... I died."

"Oh... I'm sorry." You frown.

"It's fine. This is my life now." He ruffles his feathers a little. "So, uh... Are you just gonna sit here?"

☆☆☆!!!!!!!

Morpheus finds Constantine within her nightmare. He'd standing there when she woke. She states at him for a good few moments and then speaks. "For fuck's sake." She sighs. "How did you find me?"

"You were dreaming. But it wasn't only a dream, was it? It's a memory. No wonder you do not sleep."

"Maybe I don't deserve to."

"Perhaps not." He says to Constantine. "But I could make it go away."

"Only if I help you find your sand."

"Though finding anything in this place may require more magic than even you can muster."

Joanna falls silent for a moment and then gets up. "I'll look in the office. Try not to clean up while I'm gone."

"I'm coming with you," he says. "You have a gift for disappearing."

"All right. But if the mess in here offends you, wait till you see my office."

The office was so much worse.

Constantine started going through her things, hoping the pouch would pop up somewhere and she could get this over with. She didn't particularly want him hanging around.

"Why do humans love objects so much?" Dream asks.

"They do come in handy sometimes." Constantine tells him. "You seem pretty attached to your sand."

"It's not just an object. It's a part of me."

"If that's true, how'd you happen to lose it?" She asks, looking at him.

"It was stolen by a magic user called Burgess."

"Wait, not Rodrick Burgess? The old demon king himself, eh? Everyone used to say he was a fake. Said he had the Devil locked up in his basement. How the fuck did you..."

She looks up.

"Shit." She walks over to him. "Were you down there? All this time?"

His lack of response was in itself an answer.

Morpheus plucks a set of photos from a box and looks down at them. They picture Constantine and another woman in them.

"Is this you?" He asks.

"Why? Do I look that different?"

"No. Happy."

A moment of silence passes.

"Shit." Constantine whispers. "I know where your sand is."

☆☆☆

Dream had gone all the way to Rachel's apartment. He had first gone to Constantine's, assuming she had the sand there, but it became rather complicated quickly.

Turns out the sand was at her exes. An ex she hadn't seen in quite some time. He was ready to go inside with her, but she told him to wait outside.

She needed to do this alone, apparently. However, he was reluctant to let her out of his sight. She had a tendency to disappear.

While he waited outside, he turned to see you walking around the corner.

"I told you to wait," he scolded. Though you wouldn't say you felt overly threatened by him.

"We got bored."

"We?"

In that moment, Matthew flew down and landed by your feet. Dream was far from pleased. "I told you to wait for me."

"If we're soulmates or whatever, shouldn't I help?" You ask, looking at him just as unimpressed.

"No."

You scoff softly. "You're hard work, you know that?"

Dream says nothing as he stares at you, hands in his pockets. It's Matthew who breaks the awkward atmosphere between you both. He really doesn't know what's going on, and there was very little time to ask about it.

"You know you can't trust her, right? You should really go in there."

Dream shifts his eyes away from you. Matthew had a point.

"Wait here."

This time he was wanting you both. You cross your arms and watch him go inside. You stand there for a moment before slumping down onto the ground.

"That bad, huh?"

"I've known him less than a day, kind of. Well, I've known of him a while. It's complicated. Soulmates or whatever. I don't care about some stupid divine bond." You sigh.

"So, it's legit? The soulmate thing, I mean."

You lower your wrist to his level and show him the scar. "I got this the day I first set eys on him. Sometimes, it burns. Though it hasn't for a bit. It's what binds me to him, I think."

"Hm. So, why do I sense so much anger toward him?" Matthew caws.

"He's insufferable. We have this weird bond, and he has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. He rescued me less than an hour ago, and now we're off on some strange quest to get... sand?"

"Well, yeah. Lucienne told me about that. He's getting his tools back," Matthew says.

"His tools?"

"His sand, his helmet, and his ruby."

"I'm so lost."

"How do I put this? Lord Morpheus is the dream lord. He is king and creator of the Dreaming, his realm. His tools include a pouch of sand, a helmet, and a ruby. Without them, he doesn't have much of anything."

You listen to Matthew speak. "I see."

"It's important he gets them back."

"I've gathered that much. I just... I don't see why I have to be part of any of this. Fine, I'm not going to grow old and die, but do I have to stay with him?"

"I don't think he's going to just let you go," Matthew caws.

"Why not? He doesn't need me."

Matthew goes quiet.

Constantine leaves the apartment and walks off, looking not so perky anymore. Not long after, Dream comes out and follows the direction she went in slowly.

You rise from the ground and watch them. He hadn't even glanced your way. Matthew goes on ahead to join the two. You keep your distance, watching them talk.

Constantine says something to Matthew, and then she looks up at you. She stares at you for a while and then turns and walks away under her umbrella.

Dream looks at the pouch in his hand and then looks up at you. "You're still here."

"You told me to wait."

"You could have run," he says flatly.

You glance at Matthew, who looks up at you. What he said earlier flashes before your mind. Dream probably wouldn't really let you go. "Yeah, well... whatever."

Dream stares at you in heavy silence. You hate it. You hate the way he looks at you. You hate the way he doesn't say anything. You can't say you're all too fond of him either.

"Stop looking at me."

Dream turns his eyes back to the pouch. "Come here."

You sighed and walked over to him, standing where Constantine had been standing just moments before.

"So, where are we going next?" You ask.

"Hell."

"Hell? Like metaphorical Hell or... Hell Hell?" Matthew caws.

Dream stares at you silently, and you swallow nervously. "Hey, I didn't agree to... that!"

"My helm is in Hell."

"I don't care. Hell? That's crazy." You yell at him quietly.

He just stares. He slowly raises his pouch and opens his other hands. He gives you time enough to walk away, but you don't. You know what he's doing. He pours the sand into his waiting palm, and it flows around the three of you in a blanket.

There really was no going back now.

☆☆☆

@deniixlovezelda - @missdreamofendless - @kpopgirlbtssvt - @meganlpie - @thoughtsfromlayla - @ladyjbrekker

@mwaaaaaugh - @bluespecs14 - @intothesoul - @lady-violet - @navs-bhat - @krahk - @oldsoulmagic

@rubyrose2014 - @lorkai - @roxytheimmortal - @star-maker-rain-dancer - @intothesoul - @gemini-mama - @whotperlinda

@dreamingblueberries - @the-shadow-of-aurora - @novavida - @blackgirlmagicforever

@permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 - @hopshusushi -

[dreamsagain]

I figured it would be a good time to share an update with you. I completed 5 radiation treatment sessions in 10 days. I had a new Pet Scan today but no results yet. I wish I could say I'm confident of what the outcome will be. You see when I had the scan prior to the radiation, three new growths were discovered. The cancer in my body is very active. Honestly I was never supposed to live this long but here I am.

Each day I struggle. I can't walk anymore or use my legs. I have become quite the wheelchair master though. My dear friend Holly once told me to keep all four wheels on the ground. Sorry Holly. You get a little bored in my situation. I have come to accept some things that I never thought I would have to. I can't feel the sand of the beach on my toes anymore or the cool ocean water. I can't dance anymore not that I was every very good at it. No more hiking on our trips to northern New England. These may seem trivial to all of you. You never think of these things until you can't do them any longer.

The bigger issues exist. I know my survival chances are slim. I will never give up though till my last breath. I know I will never fall in love with that special girl or settle down or even have a family. Why would anyone want a cancer ridden cripple? My days are consumed with doctors, physical therapy and trying to keep my head up.

Through all of this I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the people that try every day to lift my spirits, to encourage me and support me and most of all love me.

So to the following people, I say thank you and I love you forever.

Lauren @callmenonames my best friend in the universe. I have no words to describe the love you have shown me and the love I have for you. You sacrifice for me every day even at the cost of your own health. You are truly amazing.

Ellie @everylittlethingshedoesismagic my sweet London friend and her beautiful partner Sarah. Not a day goes by that I don't get a sweet message or picture. Unconditional and unwavering support and love. I have dreamt so many times about coming to London to just give you a hug and tell you thank you. I hope some day I can do that. I love you my friend

Karen @karenpillagain where do I begin. You are sweet and kind. Very silly and quirky and I think a little crazy too. You make me laugh and smile. When you had your accident I cried for days. Your partner Kate is a very lucky girl as are yo to have her. Two beautiful Aussies that deserve life's very best. I love you both and do hope we can make that Disney trip someday.

CJ @crystaljaydeinside1 Another incredible Aussie. You never hold back your care and encouragement. Always a sweet message, encouraging word or song to lift me up. I'm glad we connected the way we have and always love our chats. You have become very special to me and Lauren as well. I do love you my friend.

Breelynn @breelynnxoxoxoxo Where do I begin? You were a big support to my sister till the end. You remained close to Lauren and have always supported us. One of kind with a heart bigger than your body. Caring, loving and beautiful. Thank you for your continued support and love. I love you girl! You are amazing

Holly @hollys-coffee-cafe I fell in love with you so easy. You are beautiful, caring, and very special to me. I know we had our moments but there are no conditions on my feelings. You are an encouragement to me to never give up and I never will. I will always love you.

Last but not least Sadie @bambibrowneyes when I met you thanks to Holly, you were dealing with your own issues. Your beautiful wife Shelby sick with the same awful disease as me. There was an instant connection with the three of us. Shelby has since passed and your life has gone on. New career, new city and new love. I'm happy for you my friend. Love you

Okay that's it from me. I probably missed several people. I'm sorry for the long worded post. If you remember, say a prayer, send me you good vibes or whatever you believe in. I need them all.

[milliesfishes]

⋆౨ৎThe Final Act⋆౨ৎ

[fem reader] contains: copious amounts of angst, death, graphic description of blood pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: guys...what if I quit writing and delete my blog this hurt so bad Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

You lived in everything.

Billy saw your essence tangled in wildflowers, swimming amongst the glitter of the sun reflecting off the surface of water. All that was good in the world, everything that brought forth a smile was rooted in you, he was convinced.

The one object of his affections, the recipient of his love, you were an angel of the highest order. In Billy's life, he'd never expected a woman to find it in her to love a man like him, let alone one as kindhearted as you. Open armed, endlessly forgiving. At the start of this, he had resolved to humble himself before you, to give you what little he had. It would never be enough, he knew. Not for a woman so beautiful she turned heads, so lovely that people were drawn to her like a hummingbird to a wildflower.

Holding you was paradise, kissing you was a strange kind of rush that he'd never get used to. To love someone so purely hadn't been in the cards for him. No, his hand had been repeatedly unlucky, robbing him of any pleasure life had to offer. But the universe had been holding out on him for now he had the best thing in it.

Billy's guilt nearly ruined the whole thing. He knew he was a whole lot less than you deserved, knew he was on borrowed time with you. Sometimes he wondered if the act of having you was a buildup, some new kind of cruel torture where he'd get to taste bliss only for it to be ripped away. With the law on his tail at every turn, he feared the life he'd built would be ripped away at the seams.

Every night when he crawled into bed, weary from the day's work, uttering quiet apologies for making it back so late, you would roll over and burrow into his chest. No words exchanged; they didn't have to be. He'd press grateful kisses to your head and you'd smile sleepily with your eyes closed.

This was heaven. This was a haven. Life with you felt like a dream. He couldn't have imagined it in his wildest fantasies, not in the years he'd spent galloping aimlessly along the prairie with no end in sight. Until he'd stumbled upon an eternal sunbeam bound up in the skin of a beautiful woman.

Now, in the sacred hours of the morning, when waking was laced with dreams, Billy traced the contours of your face with a single finger. Newborn sunlight was seeping through the cracks of the thin curtains, outlining your halo in delicate lines. He held you carefully, as if with one wrong move you'd crack under his hands and disappear into dust.

Your eyelashes fluttered and lifted as the first breath of waking drew from your lips. He watched, transfixed by your every detail, as you began to stir, turning sleepily on your side to snuggle deeper into his arms. It was a routine, one that would never take its place on the shelf of the mundane. He treasured it. Safety, one of the few things in the world he possessed that was adequate to give to you.

Lifting his hand to your hair, he ran two fingers over where it met your forehead like the tide to the sand: tracing the expanse and tucking a strand behind your ear. Billy loved your hair, fingered it like strands of spun gold, twisted it around his fingers in leisurely moments. He leaned down, lips meeting your temple as a quiet good morning.

Outside, the birds were chattering, speaking amongst themselves about the course of the day. The earth was coming alive as you were, as if it had waited for sleep to lift its heavy head from your shoulder.

"Mm," you hummed, nudging your head against his chest. Billy rubbed a hand up your back, where your sleep shirt had ridden up- one of his shirts. He drew hearts into your skin, his fingers the pen.

"Sleepy?" he murmured, using one hand to pull the blanket up over you without letting go. You were always tossing and turning in the night, no matter how sound you slept. It wasn't an uncommon sight for the sheets to be tangled around your legs come morning.

Nodding hazily, you rested one hand flat on his chest. Your left hand, perfect and smooth, only void of one thing: his ring. Billy had it hidden in a special place, waiting for the absolute perfect moment to ask the most important question he ever would. Maybe it was silly, maybe it was old-fashioned, but he wanted it to be special. His mama hadn't raised a gentleman for nothing.

For now he resolved to hold you tight, relishing the angel in his arms. The needs of the day were creeping close, and he didn't want to lose a single second he could be with you. Life gave and it took away-for every task he did reluctantly, he received another day with you.

When it was finally time to relent and drag himself out of bed, he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, squeezing you one last time and rising. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Billy drearily donned his work clothes, buttoning his shirt and pulling each suspender up over a shoulder. He sat at the edge of the bed to tug his boots on one by one.

From where he was sitting, Billy rolled over onto his stomach, crawling back to you without letting his boots touch the bed. Positioned half on top of you, he folded his arms, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks. "You'll be okay, hm?"

"I'll be okay," you promised, one hand dragging up to his hair, fingers combing through it. Your smile was still lined with exhaustion, and his own lips turned up at the sight.

"Sleepy girl," he muttered, eliciting a breathy laugh from you. Billy leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Rest your eyes a little longer. I'll be back in a couple hours, mkay?"

"Mkay," you echoed, and he smiled, thumbing the side of your face once before crawling off the bed and getting to his feet.

With one final lingering look at the pretty girl nestled all cozy in his bed, Billy plucked his hat from the hook on the wall and crammed it on his head, opening and shutting the door gently. His boots clunked a comforting rhythm on the wooden floor, and already he was looking forward to coming back home.

The windows were broken.

That was the first thing Billy noticed when he returned. Gaping holes in the glass, the clear substance scattered across the surrounding grass.

His foot nearly caught in the stirrup as he struggled to get down, paling when he noticed the door was ajar, swinging lazily from previous motion.

In an instant, he was scurrying up the steps, only one thing on his mind. You were still home...he'd left his girl all alone... Flinging the door open, he shouted your name hurriedly, eyes blown wide open as he searched for you. You weren't in the kitchen, nor the bedroom, though the sheets were messy, bed still unmade from this morning. From the paradise he'd separated himself from.

The house was empty, that much was clear. Void of any sign of you. It was both relieving and terrifying. A raw, biting feeling gnawed at his gut. Something's not right. Had you gone for a walk in the nearby forest as you often did, narrowly avoiding the break in? Or had you heard the commotion and managed to escape? He found himself praying, a pleading in his heart to whatever higher power was kind enough to listen. Please let her be okay. Please let her be safe.

Billy tossed his hat aside and rested a hand against the doorframe, any previous energy sapped from him like syrup from a maple tree. His heart pounded an echoing beat into his ribcage, mind overwrought with worries. Where were you?

His prayers began to change. I'll leave her behind so she's safe forever if that's what it takes. All this time he'd thought his presence was protecting you, but if it wasn't he would disappear without a backwards glance, no matter how much it would pain him and you to do so. Maybe you would be better off, without the ever present threats hanging over your heads.

He had been careless to show you off the way he did, to put a target on your back like that. Yet another reason you didn't deserve him. You were a treasure of the highest value, one that shouldn't be kept locked away. It was an impossible situation that he nearly brought himself to tears over. Where was a solution where he could love you and have you and keep you safe at the same time?

Billy wandered over to the kitchen window, despondent and fraught with anxiety. He lifted his eyes wearily to the garden, before something he spotted made his body freeze.

Time went motionless, the seconds seeming to tick backwards and forwards all at once. Billy could have sworn he felt his heart stop for just a moment as the realization carved him open from the inside, bones on display, vulnerable to the attack of emotion beating at them like hail.

His body reacted before he did, feet carrying him out of the house, down the porch steps and into the garden, where your broken body lay like a fallen bird in your beloved patch of flowers, the ones you'd planted early spring. They had begun to wilt at the end of the summer, and now they were your deathbed.

Blood spilt from the gaping wound in your chest, spattering the surrounding petals with crimson. Your white dress, the one you'd always giggled about marrying him in someday, was ruined by the sticky substance, like your heart was bleeding out.

In an instant he was kneeling before you, sliding his arms under your body and lowering himself to you, resting sideways in the flowers like he had this morning in bed. Your eyes were wide open, breathing no more than a whisper, but still there. Achingly, you choked, "Billy...Billy..."

Every portion of his body was drawn taut, the pure shock of the sight before him rendering him useless for anything except holding you. He stroked your hair, trying to soothe you despite the circumstances wearing away at time. "Baby..."

Now you were practically choking on air, brows drawn together, lips parted as you trembled, reaching for him. "I don't wanna die...Billy..."

He could feel tears stinging at his eyes, but held back for your sake, calling on every slight of resistance he possessed. "It's okay, sweet girl," he breathed, bringing you up to his chest with no more than a whimper from you. "Shh, I've got you. You're not alone. I'm here 'n I ain't leavin' you ever again."

"I'm sorry," you managed, chest trembling as tears soaked your cheeks. "I don't wanna...leave you...alone..."

He bowed his head, burying his nose in your hair, body rocking back and forth to soothe you. The last thing Billy wanted was for your final moments to be in distress. Not when the way in which you had lived had so clearly been the opposite. "Shh, sweet girl. You just rest. You were so tired before-" Tears pricked the back of his eyes and he cut himself off, swallowing thickly. Unable to keep the emotion from his voice, he continued. "Everything's okay, my love. I've got you."

Even his love had to be tainted by violence, from beginning to end. Billy smoothed your hair, dried your tears with his fingers, did anything to distract himself from the fact that he'd have to love you longer than he had you. He slid his hand under your jaw, all the while cradling you against him, ignoring your blood seeping through his clothes. Though his chest was heaving and his voice was broken, he found a melody on his tongue, the only thing he could think of to comfort you now.

"As Kathleen fair beyond compare, asleep upon a bank I spied." Tears seeped into each word as he tried to carry the tune. "All upon tiptoe I sought her side, and kissed her down in the daisies." Your breathing grew steadier, and he tried to smile for you, assure you in some way. "But up she starts and on me darts, the shafts of scorn from lip and eye."

Sometimes when you had trouble falling asleep, he'd gather you in his arms and hum quietly, relaxing your body and slipping you into your dreams. This song had been your favorite of the folk tunes in his repertoire, the ones his mother taught him.

Indeed now, it was working its magic, and you looked up at him, your lips turning up just slightly, tears like crystal pearls sliding down your cheeks like rain on a windowpane. He continued to rock you back and forth, grasping you tight as life drained from you quickly as your blood had. "Then in a storm goes sweeping by, and leaves me alone with the daisies."

Your body grew heavy, eyes hazy in a way that made him want to beg, plead, scream at the sky for some kind of answer. You were all he had in the world, his purpose, his love. Desperately, he grasped at you, leaning his forehead down to press a single kiss to your lips. It was the last kiss that mattered. But he hadn't thought it would come so soon.

Now the tears on your cheeks were not only your own. His salt mingled with yours, and he reached his thumb up to brush them away, finishing the song in a cracked whisper.

"But when next day I chanced that way, there Kathleen blushed in all her charms, with sighs she sank into my arms, and we told our love to the daisies."

Billy didn't open his eyes, but the moment you took your final breath he felt it. For a moment he pretended you were only sleeping, that his singing had done the trick and eased you into a dream from which you would wake in the morning. You would snuggle into his side like you always did, ask him for five more minutes before he left. And he would give it to you, never deprive you of anything ever again. "My girl," he breathed raggedly. "Please-"

If you were smiling at him, heart beating steadfastly under his hand when he opened his eyes, he'd give up the gun forever and marry you and relocate somewhere secret and never go another day without showing you how absolutely you consumed him. He'd do all the things he should have done before, everything he'd been putting off. He'd forget about the bastards who'd ended your life simply because you loved him and just be grateful you were still here.

But when he finally lifted his lids, yours were shut, already deep into an eternal rest from which he could never wake you. Not even with his softest kisses, his gentlest of touches. Billy didn't know that he would ever be able to accept what would never be. He would never get to slide his ring on your finger, never see your belly round with his child. He would never see the first strands of grey in your hair or hear your laugh or see your smile directed at him like sunshine in this life.

Still, he grasped at you, held you tightly to his chest, supporting your head when it lulled backward limply. Still, he rocked you back and forth, comforting you when you were long gone. His girl, his baby, his love and light. Right now he clung to every memory in fear that he would lose it. Billy knew how the aftermath of death went. He knew someday he would forget how you smelled, what your voice sounded like, how it felt to hold you. Even though he'd spend whatever time he had left missing it.

There was nothing stopping him from digging your grave and flinging himself in it beside you, no outside force preventing him from finding who'd killed you and begging them to take him too. Your last words: I don't wanna leave you alone.

At that, his tears began to fall, pouring torrentially down his cheeks and silencing any logic. Destiny was cruel, mistaking you for star-crossed when you were meant to be written in the stars. Billy wept into your hair, hoping your spirit wasn't watching. The crush of emotion cracked his being open and let forth everything he'd tried to keep underneath. His strength was fraying, its heart silenced.

You made a mistake, he wanted to shout. You were never supposed to take her. Suddenly the rest of his life stretched out before him like a woeful march, highlighting everything he would have to do without you. What was a soul without its mate, a lover without his love? Loss consumed him like a wildfire, flames licking at his chin. He let himself burn.

Your body was growing icy, and he squeezed you tight to him, rubbing his arms over your body. You hated being cold. His darling sweetheart would cuddle up to him no matter the weather if you felt so much as a goosebump. Billy sheathed you into him, passing you his body heat fruitlessly.

He had to let go. The thought probed Billy unwillingly, and he shook his head, feeling like a child. He didn't want to. He didn't want to dig you a crude grave and lay your broken body down, letting the earth hold you instead of him. He didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't want to wash his hands and body of your blood and burn the clothes it had stained. It felt like tossing aside a piece of you, when there were scarcely any left. Soon, the only thing remaining would be memory.

Billy set that dreadful idea adrift, letting it float out to sea. The waves would lap at it and bring it back to the shores of his mind eventually, but for now it was far away. He breathed in a shuddering way, lips finding your temple and pressing there.

"I've got you, sweetheart," he breathed, caressing your stiffening body. At the very least, he was glad you hadn't been alone. "Just rest."

No longer in an ocean, it drifted around him like coyotes circling a lonely traveler, baring its teeth and poising to strike, launching itself at him and consuming all that he held dear. He squeezed his eyes shut, having hoped shoving it down would erase its fruition. But it bloomed in his broken soul like the flowers you'd died atop.

The final act of love is letting go.

[k-nayee]

A Fusion of Feelings STEVEN UNIVERSE

wc: 5.4k a/n: ngl I forgot what inspired me but just know I was on the bed eating Trolli crawlers !! Post-Steven Universe: The Movie (2019) !!

Traveler M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

The cool salt-laced air of Beach City clung to the evening as Steven got out the car, the golden glow of the setting sun stretching shadows across the familiar sands.

At twenty, he carried himself differently now, with a quiet confidence that spoke of growth.

The tailored pink jacket he wore paired with jeans that fit him snugly was a silent testament to how he'd changed over the four years he'd been away.

His aura was more grounded, less childish. Honestly it kinda unsettled Connie to see him this way—more a stranger and less the boy she once knew.

But beyond the new posture and the maturity in his eyes, the essence of Steven Universe—kind, earnest, ever-hopeful—remained.

Connie heart thudded as she watched him scan the area. When his eyes landed on her it was like a moment suspended in time.

The boyish face she remembered was now sculpted with sharper edges, framed by unruly curls that had grown out, and his posture spoke of someone who had wrestled with his own demons and won.

A smile broke across his face as she rushed forward, her dark hair a wild halo catching the breeze before pulling him into a hug.

It was warm, familiar...and yet there was a split second of hesitation. Something was different.

His hands were firm but no longer lingering, his eyes searched hers with affection but no not with the same intenseful adoration.

It stung more than she cared to admit.

They fell into old rhythms easily from jokes about childhood adventures to updates on the latest antics of the Crystal Gems.

Yet as they spoke, Connie caught herself watching for cracks in his expression, hoping to find a hint of longing for the past

 Instead, she found something gentler—a quiet satisfaction that wasn't solely about her.

Steven began to tell stories from his travels. And amid these conversations, an invisible thread pulled at Connie's focus, a name woven seamlessly into Steven's stories—you.

He had met you during as visit to a local university in the South.

But that wasn't what bothered the human member of Crystal Gems. It was the way he spoke with a kind of unconscious reverence of you.

Pictures of shared laughter over late-night conversations were painted, of your fascination with reading or the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled.

"She's just...her," Steven's voice would soften, his eyes drifting as he spoke. "You'd love talking to her about books Connie! You both have that same spark when you get excited."

Connie's chest tightened at each mention and she struggled to maintain her indifference.

"She was so passionate about that one book. You know the one with the wizard school?" Steven says before his eyes light up with another thought. "Oh and [favorite beverage]! You should have seen her face when she talks about it—it's like she's describing the most magical thing in the world."

Connie forced a light laugh but the edges were brittle. "Sounds she's a good friend." The words felt sour on her tongue, each one an effort to keep in check.

"She is. I mean, I know everything a good friend should," Steven's eyes go unfocused as if tracing the memory of your smile.

Connie's stomach twisted. He didn't even realize. But she did.

Every time he spoke, she pieced together an image of you, so vivid that it felt like you were already there.

Every word, every gleam in Steven's eyes carved deeper into her. There it was again—that bitter thread of envy weaving through her.

She scolded herself internally. Steven deserved happiness, after all.

He had spent so long putting others before himself. Seeing him light up because of you should have been enough.

Shouldn't it?

Connie knew she shouldn't be this way. She had ended things years ago; they were too young and she hadn't been ready.

 Still, why did this happiness have to come at the cost of her own peace? Seeing him like this—so openly fond of someone else—brought a feeling that was hard to shake.

She had let him go.

She should be happy for him.

Should.

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

It was early one morning when Steven burst into Connie's home.

The door swung open with such force that it thudded against the wall, and Connie mid-phone call with her mother, jumped up from the sofa.

"Steven?" Her voice was sharp with concern as he stood in the doorway, face flushed and eyes wide.

His curls were unruly, hands raking through them as he paced in frantic circles.

"She's here," his voice was pitched high with barely contained panic hadn't heard in years.

Connie's breath caught in her throat. A part of her wondered if her complexion had paled, if her surprise was as visible as she felt it must be.

She didn't need him to say more. The implication was clear: You were in Beach City. 

"Hey Mom, I'm going to call you back. Something's come up."

The moment she hung up Steven continued his pacing. There was a wildness to his eyes—a desperate energy that sent a pang of something undefinable through Connie.

"I can't see her...I-I just can't!" He turns to Connie with desperation painted across every line of his face. "I'm not ready."

The Maheswaran teen stepped toward him. "Wait wh—"

"I know I know, I'm a mess!" He motioned to his jacket, tugging at the sleeves. "I'm too nervous. What if I say something stupid? What if she realizes that I'm just weird?!"

The half-Gem's anxiety radiated off of him in waves as and he starts to pace once more.

He was sweating as his skin and hair began to take on a pink hue showcasing his fraying nerves.

 Connie instinctively grabs his shoulders to steady him. "Steven! Calm down! You need to breathe. You're overthinking it."

In her attempt to soothe him a light suddenly gleam in his eyes. His hands wraps around hers suddenly, startling her.

"I think we should fuse into Stevonnie." The words tumbled out so fast she almost missed them.

"...what?"

 Steven's grin brightens, more sure now. "We can meet her as Stevonnie. With your help I won't mess everything up."

Connie yanks her hands away as if stung. Stevonnie. That version of them, so complete, so complicated.

"Steven...y-you can't be serious!"

"C'mon! Just think about it. You're a girl, so you'd know what to say and how to gauge things better. I can't face her alone. Not yet." He spoke like it made perfect sense, like it was the most logical solution in the world.

Connie's breath caught. A myriad of emotions surged—betrayal, the flicker of old pain, and the gnawing realization of Steven's obliviousness to her own turmoil.

Why should she help him meet someone who might replace her in his heart? To help him woo someone who wasn't her? Why would she want to?

She wanted to yell, to refuse him outright, to protect herself from this emotional minefield.

But then she saw the way he looked at her—not with love but with trust.

The kind of trust that spoke of years of shared battles, laughter, and the silent understanding that only they had.

It twisted something in her heart leaving her feeling vulnerable. She had ended things for a reason. Steven deserved to find happiness.

Even if it wasn't with her.

Connie couldn't deny him, not when he needed her like this. With a tightened jaw, she release a defeated sigh.

"Fine," her voice was barely a whisper. "But we do this my way."

Relief softened Steven's tense posture, and before she could steel herself, he pulled her into a big hug. "Thank you Connie. I knew you'd understand!"

He steps back and quickly pulls out his phone. Clicking on the screen a few times, he shifted on his feet as he shakily puts the phone to his ear.

"Hey! It's Steven. About our meet-up later today—yeah, I'm okay just feeling a bit under the weather." He rasps his voice a little and force a light cough to sell the act.

Your muffled reply was on the other end. Connie didn't even have to hear your exact words to know what you'd said.

The way Steven's shoulders relaxed as a soft smile that crept across his lips—it was enough. It was everything.

And it made her stomach churn with a mix of emotions she could barely name.

Steven closed his eyes as if savoring the sound of your voice, his cheeks flushing a gentle pink—each reaction was a dagger twisting deeper.

She bit back a grimace. A whisper of curiosity tugged at her, unwilling to be ignored.

'What was it about you that could make Steven act like that?'

"No, no, you don't need to take care of me. I wouldn't want you to get sick." The son of Greg Universe and ̶P̶̶i̶̶n̶̶k̶ ̶D̶̶i̶̶a̶̶m̶̶o̶̶n̶̶d̶ Rose Quartz insisted, his voice softening in a way that made Connie's stomach twist.

The way he cared about you was so painfully evident and she had to steel herself as she stood by watching.

"Actually...my cousin Stevonnie is visiting," Steven adds with a hint of awkwardness. "They'd love to meet you. Maybe you both could hang out at the beach and finally get introduced to the Crystal Gems while at it?"

There was a pause, then muffled laughter filtered through the receiver causing his entire demeanor to change.

Eyes brightened he turns to Connie and sends her a thumbs up. She reluctantly mirrors it, her lips set in a forced smile.

As Steven continued the conversation Connie was left with her thoughts.

She wasn't ready for this.

Not the idea of meeting you, not the way Steven lit up because of you, and definitely not the confusing flutter in her chest as she thought about seeing you up close.

She began to brace herself for what was to come. She couldn't predict how this day would unfold, but she knew one thing—she already didn't like you.

Not at all.

But somewhere, buried under the jealousy and apprehension, was the tiniest ember of curiosity.

*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.* 

Now merged, the semi-Gem stands before the mirror in the living room. Stevonnie's fingers tremble as they fluffed out their thick wavy hair.

The anxious energy beneath their skin was palpable—an odd fusion of Steven's heart-racing excitement and Connie's tight-lipped simmering unease—as they waited.

For you.

Their hands paused, fingers lingering in their curls before dropping with an eye-roll and scoff, "Jeez...is it that serious?"

A flare of irritation filled their chest as they stepped back, exhaling through their nose to calm the internal storm.

Stevonnie's brows knit together in question of the sudden emotion.

It wasn't just Steven's giddy anticipation or Connie's jealousy. It was something more tangled—anxiety mixed with an unfamiliar warmth.

 But there's no time to ponder further when the front door bursts open, the room filling with unrestrained laughter.

The boisterous sound bounces around the space as Pearl steps into view, her eyebrow twitching ever so slightly.

"Honestly Amethyst," Pearl chided, though there was a rare softness in her tone. Gaze finding the fusion, she offers a polite nod before gliding over to the nearby cushioned couch, hands folded neatly in her lap.

Garnet's silent presence filled the doorway next, her tall frame blocking the evening light momentarily as she stepped in.

The Gem's stoic expression softens just a touch when her gaze met Stevonnie's. Her lips subtly upturned as a way of unspoken reassurance.

Finally, Amethyst bounced in, her grin barely contained. She was cackling as she looked behind her yelling back, "Ya know, you're pretty funny for a meaty human!"

A familiar voice responds from beyond the door, "Why thank you my lil grape friend!"

Stevonnie's pulse quickened. It was you.

Their whole body seemed to pause, hands fidgeting nervously before forcing them to relax.

Steven's excitement surged, making their heart race, while Connie's wariness clawed at her mind.

But beneath it all there was a flicker of something different—a curiosity that wasn't entirely unwelcome.

'Okay' A short huff blew through their nose, eyes narrowing for just a moment in attempt to keep calm. 'Let's just get this over wi—'

"Hi! My name is _____. You must be Stevonnie right? Steven's cousin?"

The words hit Stevonnie like a surprise gust of wind.

Their eyes widen at the sight of you standing there. The warm glow of the sunlight that bathed you casted a golden halo around your figure.

In your hands you held a Tupperware bowl, the lid fogged from the warmth within.

Gaze was as warm as the Sun itself, smile soft and sweet—you were exactly Steven had described.

̶T̶̶h̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶a̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶t̶̶i̶̶c̶̶i̶̶p̶̶a̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶u̶̶s̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶r̶̶e̶̶a̶̶c̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶.

The sharp sting of jealousy began to shift, replaced by a begrudging acknowledgment of your kind disposition.

Something in Stevonnie melted while the other side tensed. The tight pull of jealousy mingling with awestruck joy tangled into an emotion that left them breathless.

Connie’s unspoken thoughts whispered, echoing Steven’s sentiment, but with a dawning realization.

Your presence was more than she expected. It wasn’t the competition she’d imagined; it was...something softer.

“Y-yeah! That uh, that’s me,” they managed, voice steady enough to pass for normal.

Amethyst gave Stevonnie an exaggerated wink from behind your back, and Stevonnie shot her an unamused look.

“It’s great to officially meet you,” you said. “Though I'm a little peeved Steven never told me about you. We can make up for it as long as I'm here! Ah! Feels like I already know you.”

The casual sincerity in your voice made Stevonnie's heart squeeze with something they refused to name.

“Likewise,” Stevonnie said, but their voice wavered, betraying the fusion’s internal war.

*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.*

Time seemed to blur as the evening wore on. Stories were exchanged, laughter filled air, the sky outside slowly darkening with every passing hour.

Eventually it was time to go. You and Stevonnie walking along the shoreline toward Garnet's waiting silhouette in the distance.

The day's golden light fades, the sky deepening into hues of purple and blue as stars begin to reveal themselves.

The air was warm, the scent of salt carried on the breeze, and the rhythmic sound of the ocean created a comforting backdrop.

"I really had a good time today," you say, smile as genuine as ever. It sent a subtle ripple through Stevonnie, stirring emotions that were a blend of Steven’s joy and Connie’s reluctant acceptance.

Stevonnie's gaze lingers on you whenever you aren't looking, emotions wavering like a flame.

Steven's side of them basked in the warmth of your presence while Connie's shifted, unsettled by the pull she felt toward you.

The lingering envy that once felt sharp now dulled into a softer, almost wistful feeling.

Though even though the envy had dulled, replaced by an uninvited fascination, a faint sense jealousy remained.

̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶n̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶c̶̶a̶̶p̶̶t̶̶i̶̶v̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶a̶̶b̶̶o̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶h̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶e̶̶a̶̶s̶̶i̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶e̶̶c̶̶t̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶ ̶p̶̶e̶̶o̶̶p̶̶l̶̶e̶, ̶h̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶e̶̶f̶̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶̶t̶̶l̶̶e̶̶s̶̶s̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶b̶̶r̶̶o̶̶u̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶ ̶l̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶q̶̶u̶̶i̶̶e̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶p̶̶a̶̶c̶̶e̶̶s̶.

Frustrated by the rush of warmth in their chest, they push back with a question

"So...what do you think of Steven?" Stevonnie asked, attempting to sound casual. Their eyes briefly dart towards you to gauge your reaction.

"He talks about you a lot—says you're a great friend. And I can see that, especially after you brought him that homemade veggie soup."

̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶’̶s̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶r̶̶a̶̶c̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶a̶̶m̶̶i̶̶l̶̶i̶̶a̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶w̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶j̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶̶y̶. ̶b̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶n̶̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶c̶̶a̶̶m̶̶e̶. ̶I̶̶n̶̶s̶̶t̶̶e̶̶a̶̶d̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶̶u̶̶r̶̶p̶̶r̶̶i̶̶s̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶f̶̶l̶̶i̶̶c̶̶k̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶o̶̶f̶ ̶c̶̶u̶̶r̶̶i̶̶o̶̶s̶̶i̶̶t̶̶y̶.

You look up at them. "Steven? He's great!" your voice rose as you began listing off his qualities. "Honestly, he's one of the most thoughtful people I know! Always listens even when it's something small. And he's so brave, even when scared. I've never met anyone who cares as much as he does."

Stevonnie felt a bittersweet pang. Your admiration mirrored everything Connie had once felt a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶s̶̶t̶̶i̶̶l̶̶l̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶e̶̶p̶ ̶d̶̶o̶̶w̶̶n̶ for Steven.

Hearing you say it, seeing how deeply you understood him, brought a strange comfort.

But it was more than that. The candor in your voice spoke of someone who saw the best in others.

̶S̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶o̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶ ̶s̶̶e̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶��r̶ ̶t̶̶o̶̶o̶.

The realization struck Stevonnie quietly, an unwelcome but persistent warmth settling in their chest.

"Really?" Stevonnie replied in a controlled voice, though their heart felt so heavy that it might fall out their ribcage.

The question was innocent enough but the ache behind it was palpable; a tug-of-war between Steven's quiet yearning and Connie's deep-seated denial.

For it was no longer just about rivalry—it was the possibility that someone could understand her in the way you understood Steven.

A gentle laugh escapes you and you nod frantically. "Of course! He...he just got this way of making everyone feel important ya know? Like they matter. And his jokes—oh my gosh, he cheers me up even when I'm not having the best day. Not to mention when he gets excited about something he loves; you should see the way his eyes light up like the stars."

Stevonnie's heart skip a beat the admiration in your voice. Something within them stirs. Their stomach knots with butterflies, warmth creeping up to their cheeks.

  'No!' A flicker of defiance twists their lips. 'This won't do.'

"Well speaking of boys in general. You got a boyfriend?" Forcing a mischievous grin they give you a playful nudge. "A pretty girl like you must have one waiting at home right?"

The second the words slipped out Stevonnie's stride faltered, feet coming to a halt as an unsettling pang bloomed in them, unexpected and sharp.

It was a strange sensation—something close to jealousy and possessiveness—an uncomfortable mix that made their chest feel tight.

The thought of you loving someone else stings in a way that makes their brow crease.

Before they could make sense of it your laugh broke the silence. "A boyfriend? Gosh no!"

The sound pulled Stevonnie out of their daze. They looked up just in time to notice you had slowed and stopped a few steps ahead, eyes fixed on the darkening horizon.

For the first time you've met your gaze avoided to meet theirs, instead lingering on the ocean with an unreadable expression softening your features.

"I've never really thought about dating or romance," you admit, voice tinged with a touch of melancholy. "I spent most of my time focused on getting good grades, get into college and make my family proud—doing everything I was supposed to do. And now that I've done that...I don't really know how to connect with people in that way." A small laugh escaped, quiet and self-conscious. "I'm just now getting better at making friends socially. Romance? That's a far-off dream for me."

Stevonnie's heart ached in an odd camaraderie. The weight of expectations, the search for belonging—it's all too familiar. They resonated with your vulnerability, recognizing theirself in your words.

̶I̶̶t̶ ̶c̶̶h̶̶i̶̶p̶̶p̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶a̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶a̶̶t̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶g̶̶u̶̶a̶̶r̶̶d̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶t̶ ̶p̶̶i̶̶e̶̶c̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶y̶ ̶p̶̶i̶̶e̶̶c̶̶e̶.

Before they could respond you speak again, gentler this time, like a secret being shared under moonlight.

"But Steven...?" you began, your voice taking on a wistful tone. They watch as the forlorn shadow in your eyes melt away, replaced by something softer, more reverent.

Your eyes became dazed as your lips curled into a tender smile. "He's different. He makes everything feel easy...one of the best I've ever met—Gem or human. It's really not hard for people to fall for someone like him."

You let out a gentle sigh, the stars above seeming to mirror the flicker of emotion in your eyes as you looked up at the twinkling dotted sky.

"I sure know I have."

Stevonnie.exe has stopped working.

A mixture of relief and longing that they hadn’t expected flushed through their veins.

You...like like Steven? ̶A̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶f̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶n̶̶t̶, ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶w̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶ ̶b̶̶e̶ ̶l̶̶i̶̶k̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶f̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶ ̶s̶̶a̶̶w̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶o̶̶o̶.

You blink rapidly as if to shake off the rush of emotion that had swept over you and let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Sorry that sounded super cheesy," you rub the back of your neck. "I'm sure you don't want to hear that, with him being your cousin and all."

You turn back to Stevonnie, only to find them standing perfectly still, staring at you with wide eyes and a faint flush coloring their cheeks.

"Stevonnie?" you called their name, snapping them out of it. They jolted slightly as if waking from a dream and sport a wobbly smile.

 "Cool," is all they managed to choke out, awkwardly lifting both hands in an stiff thumbs-up gesture. "That's...really cool."

The response was clumsy but it pulled a genuine laugh from you.

Despite the confusion, you played along, giving your own thumbs-up before gesturing to where Garnet stood a respectful distance away. "Well it's getting late. We shouldn't keep her waiting."

Stevonnie could only nod as they swallowed hard.

̶T̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶o̶̶n̶̶c̶̶e̶ ̶r̶̶e̶̶l̶̶u̶̶c̶̶t̶̶a̶̶n̶̶t̶ ̶e̶̶m̶̶o̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶n̶̶f̶̶u̶̶s̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶, ̶u̶̶n̶̶w̶̶e̶̶l̶̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶ ̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶n̶, ̶b̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶b̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶g̶̶n̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶̶d̶.

Their steps were almost mechanical as they follow you down the beach, the soft crunch of sand beneath mirroring the dissonance in their mind and heart.

You filled the silence with a stream of light-hearted talk, a cheerful ramble that danced across topics as if trying to chase away any lingering awkwardness.

Stevonnie's responses were sparse—a series of hums, muttered agreements, and distracted nods.

Each step toward Garnet and the waiting car felt like a countdown, every word you spoke being another beat in the symphony of confusion humming in their mind.

It wasn't until Garnet was a few feet away did Stevonnie manage to gather themselves enough to say a proper goodbye. "Um...bye ____...I...I had fun."

You flash a smile as bright as the moon hanging in the dark sky. "I had a great time too. We should definitely do this again. Oh! And hopefully Connie can join us next time. I've been meaning to finally meet her, especially since I just finished a new novel series. You think she'd like if I brought them for her? It's a historical romance with strong female leads—the Bridgerton series, if you've heard of it. And if not, I have other books she might enjoy. I'm hoping we could maybe start a book club or have some discussions!"

The mention of the teen's interests sent a rush of warmth through Stevonnie. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about how deeply you cared.

Their posture stiffened ever so slightly as your words washed over them, smile faltering for just a heartbeat before forcing it to stay in place—a little too bright, a touch too tight.

For a moment the spark of Steven's enthusiasm fought with Connie's nervousness, creating a subtle conflict that flickered between excitement and something harder to define.

Though the mention of historical romance and strong female leads did spark an immediate interest on Connie's side briefly.

But as quickly as it came, the heaviness of more complex emotions settled in, making Stevonnie's heart thump with a sensation that felt uncomfortably like longing.

Fingers twitching, they tuck a loose strand of hair behind their ear—a move pure Connie.

"Y-yeah..." Their voice slipped on the first word before steading it. "Yeah...I think Connie would like that very much. She loves stories with strong characters."

You give a playful eyeroll as teasing grin spread across your face. "Well duh that's why I'm recommending it to her!" The fondness in your tone was unmistakable, and it seeped into Stevonnie's skin. "Steven says she's never without a book, usually something epic or full of history. Oh and her journaling! Always writing in it—filling it with thoughts and stories."

Leaning in a bit your eyes sparkled as you continued with enthusiasm. "Did you know she's into sword fighting? She trains with Pearl. And gosh her curiosity! He told me how fearless she is when it comes to going on new adventures. Always ready to explore even when things get wild."

Each word was like a tiny invisible thread that pulled at the fusion. Connie's pride in her achievements hummed under the surface, swirling with Steven's growing admiration for how deeply you appreciated someone he cared about.

You paused, a soft laugh escaping that caught Stevonnie off guard with its ease. "She's so smart too. Steven once mentioned how she'll share the most random but fascinating historical facts like it's second nature. And music—I don't know if she still plays, but he said she's got a real talent for it. I think it was the violin? I bet she could play classical pieces flawlessly."

Stevonnie's throat tightened, and for a moment, their composure wavered. Your words painted Connie in such vivid colors, filled with genuine admiration that was so tender—so pure.

̶F̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶i̶̶r̶̶s̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶i̶̶m̶̶e̶, ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶o̶̶n̶̶e̶ ̶m̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶r̶̶u̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶u̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶̶s̶̶t̶̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶, ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶l̶̶e̶̶f̶̶t̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶e̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶e̶̶x̶̶p̶̶o̶̶s̶̶e̶̶d̶.

It was then a softer expression crossed your face as you looked down, shifting your foot in the sand did Stevonnie feel something give.

 "I don't know," your voice dipped with shy honesty. "I guess...I'm just really excited to meet her. She seems so incredible, even though I haven't even met her yet."

A small smile—hopeful and sweet—crossed your lips. "I hope she'll want to be my friend."

Stevonnie's emotions reached a breaking point.

A part of them, Steven's part, felt a surge of joy at how deeply you cared. But Connie's part—rooted in insecurity and longing—felt exposed and vulnerable.

̶S̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶̶e̶̶n̶̶y̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶l̶̶t̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶m̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶n̶ ̶e̶̶n̶̶v̶̶y̶ ̶o̶̶r̶ ̶j̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶o̶̶u̶̶s̶̶y̶; ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶i̶̶f̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶i̶̶n̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶m̶̶a̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶̶t̶ ̶f̶̶l̶̶u̶̶t̶̶t̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶i̶̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶i̶̶g̶̶n̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶.

"You...really know a lot about her...huh?" There was a mix of surprise and appreciation in their voice. "That means a lot—to both of us. She's always looking for people who see her, not just what she does but who she is.""

A soft breathy laugh escaped them, almost involuntary, tinged with something bittersweet.

"I think she'd really like to be your friend too..." Stevonnie whispered, the sincerity catching even them by surprise.

̶A̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶s̶ ̶p̶̶o̶̶i̶̶n̶̶t̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶g̶̶u̶̶a̶̶r̶̶d̶ ̶d̶̶r̶̶o̶̶p̶̶p̶̶e̶̶d̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶m̶̶p̶̶l̶̶e̶̶t̶̶e̶̶l̶̶y̶, ̶r̶̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶a̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶q̶̶u̶̶i̶̶e̶̶t̶, ̶t̶̶e̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶h̶̶o̶̶p̶̶e̶.

You look up at Stevonnie with wide eyes as a look of disbelief flash across your face before melting into a heart-shattering smile. "Really? You think so?!"

You seemed to catch yourself, quickly clearing your throat, though it didn't quite hide the excitement still glimmering in your eyes.

"Yeah that's cool or whatever," your attempt at nonchalance was betrayed by the slight bounce on your heels.

Stevonnie couldn't help but laugh at the sight as Garnet joined in, her laughter low and warm.

̶F̶̶o̶̶r̶ ̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶e̶̶v̶̶e̶̶n̶ ̶j̶̶u̶̶s̶̶t̶ ̶a̶̶d̶̶m̶̶i̶̶r̶̶a̶̶t̶̶i̶̶o̶̶n̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶y̶̶m̶̶o̶̶r̶̶e̶, i̶̶t̶ ̶w̶̶a̶̶s̶ ̶s̶̶o̶̶m̶̶e̶̶t̶̶h̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶ ̶m̶̶a̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶w̶̶o̶̶n̶̶d̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶i̶̶f̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶c̶̶o̶̶u̶̶l̶̶d̶ ̶a̶̶l̶̶l̶̶o̶̶w̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶s̶̶e̶̶l̶̶f̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶f̶̶e̶̶e̶̶l̶ ̶i̶̶t̶.

And that's when you brought it up.

Almost as if the sudden thought appeared, you let out a casual laugh. "Oh and I just realized—Stevonnie huh? You now your name kinda sounds like a mix between Steven and Connie. Isn't that funny?"

The smile froze on Stevonnie's face. A jolt of panic shot through them and they balked. "W-what?!"

Stammering with wide eyes, they struggled to find their footing. "Wha? What do you mean? No it's not like that at all." Their voice tripped over itself, each word tangling into the next. "I mean I'm older than both of them—Steven and Connie. I don't even look like them if they were merged together hahaha!"

They gave an awkward laugh, though it sounded forced, the tension clear in their voice.

You blinked, your brows furrowing as confusion crossed your features. Before you could voice the questions forming on your lips Garnet's voice cut through the moment.

"____. You're going to miss the RoboDog movie marathon if you stay any longer," she called, her voice voice cool and even, yet somehow managing to carry a knowing lilt.

Your eyes lit up at the mention of the movie series, all confusion momentarily replaced by excitement.

"Oh! Right! Thanks for reminding me Garnet." You shot a quick glance back at Stevonnie, your expression brightening. "It was really nice meeting you Stevonnie! And tell Steven I'll call him later!"

You paused a beat as if considering your next words. Head lowering from fluster, the words tumbled out before you could stop them, "And...do you think maybe you don't mention what I said earlier? I think I'd die if he knew."

Garnet, standing beside you, puts a gentle hand on your shoulder with a knowing expression. "No worries. Steven won't know of your confession about your budding romantic feelings for him."

The tension from your body disappears at her reassurance making you release a breath of relief. "Thank yo—"

You freeze mid-gratitude. Your eyes widened as your head whips towards her, the question slipping out in a rush. "Wait—how did you know?!"

Stevonnie felt a rush of heat climb their neck at the full confirmation. The tension inside them strained, pressing against the fragile seams of their shared being.

Steven’s excitement warred with Connie’s panic, and under it all, a trembling awareness pulsed with each heartbeat.

Their nails dug into their palms as they struggled to hold steady. It was taking every ounce of self-control to keep from separating then and there.

̶C̶̶o̶̶n̶̶n̶̶i̶̶e̶’̶s̶ ̶s̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶ ̶f̶̶i̶̶g̶̶h̶̶t̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶u̶̶r̶̶g̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶b̶̶r̶̶e̶̶a̶̶k̶ ̶a̶̶w̶̶a̶̶y̶ ̶a̶̶n̶̶d̶ ̶h̶̶i̶̶d̶̶e̶.

Garnet's chuckled softly, voice tinged with a poetic clarity. "Love is felt even when it's hidden. It shines brightly even to those who cannot see."

She gives Stevonnie one last look—a look that conveyed understanding, as if urging them to accept what was brewing inside.

You blinked, caught between embarrassment and wonder as Garnet gently urged you toward the nearby car.

"W-wait! Hold on now! I can explai—"

Your stuttering attempts at saving face were met with another quiet laugh as she guided you inside, shutting the door with a quiet finality.

Stevonnie stood unmoving as the car rolled away, the sound of tires on sand growing fainter until all that remained was the soft whisper of the waves and the steady thump of their heartbeat.

The air was thick with unsaid truths that everything was changing.

It was quiet for a long moment, the silence stretched thin as the fusion watched the taillights disappear over the horizon.

Finally, with a shuddering breath, the tension in Stevonnie's frame snapped—collapsing into two separate forms.

Steven stumbled slightly, catching himself with wide eyes that remained fixed after where the car last was in a mix of awe and confusion. His cheeks were pink, emotions an open book.

Connie stood beside him with a downcast gaze; her fingers curling into the fabric of the skirt she wore as her heart ached with a bittersweet awareness.

The soft press of the fabric in her hands grounded her, kept her from spiraling further into what-ifs and whys.

Cool breeze bit at her skin, but she didn't flinch, heavy heart thudding in her chest with a realization she couldn't yet voice.

It was as if a door had opened, letting in the rush of emotions she’d created and kept locked away all in one day, mixing with the echoes of your admiration and her own conflicted feelings.

Steven's eyes stayed fixed on the empty stretch of road—a soft, wistful ache in his gaze.

"So," he whispered after a beat, breaking the stillness. His voice quivered low and uncertain. "What did you think of ____?"

Connie's heart thudded painfully as she turned to look at him, the moonlight casting long shadows across his face.

Her eyes softened as she saw the flush in his cheeks and the hint of hope in his expression. It mirrored a feeling she recognized all too well.

Words were caught in her throat all tangled up in emotions she hadn't even begun to sort through.

Both confessions—having feelings for Steven, dare say even admiring Connie—it reverberated in her mind.

So much it came with the stinging realization that tinge of jealousy she'd ignored was more than she wanted to admit.

That now, mingled with that envy was something new—something she wasn’t sure she could deny any longer.

"What I think...?" she started, the words trailing off as she searched for something true to say.

Steven's hopeful, expectant eyes met hers, and for the first time she felt the truth settle heavily in her chest.

There was no escaping it now—the feelings she thought she’d buried were surfacing, mingling with the unexpected warmth she now feels when she hearing your voice or seeing your smile.

A soft rueful smile tugged at her lips, and she let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh.

"I'm thinking how bad is it to say I see why you're smitten."

[audisive]

♪ LET THE LIGHT IN.

౨ৎ simon 'ghost' riley | reader

synopsis: the mixture of love and hate is a dangerous, but ghost is no stranger to danger.

tags: angst, little bit of comfort, enemies to lovers (?), ghost is a blind bastard as well as stupid, mention of being suicidal (but not really), hate is mistaken for love, mention of unconsented touching

     Hate is a familiar word, ever the old friend. Strong and heavy. It's what fuels him and keeps him going – his strength, both a blessing and a curse. Hate, hate, hate. Ghost hates you; you drive him to hell and back with your word until the thin line between hospitality and hostility blurs and he steps over the other.

There's an old red monster that constantly crawls under his skin, corrupting his brain and his heart. Hatred consumes him at the sight of you. Ghost hates you. At least that's what he thinks.

Fleeting gazes are mistaken for heated glares, tensed jaw an unbreakable habit. There's a fire in his loins when your eye catches his at the right time. Ghost's heart speeds up because you make his blood pressure rise. His guts are twisted and turned to your accommodation without knowing, you're in his thoughts constantly because you're so awful.

Love and hate is black and white, color him blind. There's a fine line between the opposites, and he's ambivalent about you.

Of course he respects you; you're his teammate, – a remarkable one, at that – and he will trust you with his life and his heart in your hands, but as much as possible, he would prefer not having to.

Maybe ye're just no' inta women, LT. It's not that he hasn't considered it; can't help that he stares a little too long at anyone with bright blue eyes as engrossing as— Fuckin' 'ell, Johnny. Or perhaps his own were too dull, too icy, too bland. He lacked his sergeant's passion for nearly everything. A'm just pullin' yer leg.

Oh, but how Simon loves you.

Simon is familiar to you the same way the desert is familiar with the scorching heat of the sun, and despite how it warms you, kisses and burns and scars you, you miss every bit of it – the way he hurts you comfortingly. Loving him feels like snow meeting sand, – unfamiliar and impossible – but if snow can fall on the hottest desert, then who are you to be exempt?

Acknowledging the difference between love and hate is one, admitting that he doesn't feel the other way for you is another. It's not love; you're just part of the team. He repeats the mantra when his fist collides with the face of a man who made the mistake of touching you despite your lack of consent.

Your knuckles are split, sir. He repeats it to himself again when he's forced to sit with his thigh pressed to yours and feels the warmth of your skin against his. I can take care of m'self next time, Ghost.

I know, kid. It's not love. Not when he hushes you instead of yelling and barking orders at you as you bleed out on the floor of the warehouse. "Ghost," you plead for your life, weeping and gasping for air. Your voice breaks. His heart does, too. "I know, lovie. I know." It's not love. Not when he carries you singlehandedly in and out of the chopper, rushing to the medical ward before you can even lose consciousness. Not when he tends to the knife on your side before the bullet in his.

"Sure, the lieutenant isn't much for words, but the way he looks at you..." The knowledgeable (or maybe she just likes gossip) nurse trails off, searching for the right words in the back of her mind. "It's like there's no one else in the world but you – no, actually, he looks at you as if you're the world itself – he looks at you like a god, his. In a way that guarantees anyone that he'd live and repeat the horrors of this life in his next, just for you. And I've never seen him look at anyone like.. that. But now, I see him looking at you. Everyday."

She smiles at you, kind enough to continue. "Don't you think you deserve that kind of dedication? The kind that makes you feel like you're the center of someone's universe?"

You find yourself stunned by her words, your lips parting in the slightest manner. Speechless. She finds more words in your silence. "'Cause I think you do. You do deserve that," she smiles at you knowingly, as if she'd read your fate – as if the stars had told her all there is to know, "and something tells me he could give you exactly that." She's sure of it. 

But Simon is only the ghost of a Ghost. He's fleeting, a glance, a graze, and a kiss.

Too early, too much, not enough, too late. He'd used up every excuse like a box of tissues until he had none, until he'd been left high and dry, until he had no choice but to admit it: he's in love with you in a way that is looked down upon. Desperately, longingly, and horribly so.

If your love was a noose, then Simon is a suicidal man. He wants your love to dig into the skin of his neck, and please take his breath away.

The image of you leaving was embedded into his brain, the same way he had burned the image of you into his mind long ago. His tongue dries with the words and pleads of love, but he thinks he doesn't. So he doesn't. He wants to call out to you – say something that might cause you to pause and turn around, maybe take him with you – but the words don't come, and you leave, taking his heart with you. 

There's a longing that aches beneath his chest, an empty space.

All of the words in the world will not change the reality that he pushed himself into. Life has moved on without the two of you. He has so many things to tell you, but now is not the time.

He calls for your name.

Your breath hitches at his voice before you speak, "good night, lieutenant." You open a barrier between you and him just as you open the door, taking a step out of the seemingly unlived small apartment. His chest is unmoving as an unfamiliar feeling shoots through his veins. He should say something, anything. Say something, bastard.

With lowered pride, his mouth opens just a second too late. He hears the door click shut.

It never will be.

  divider by @cafekitsune !