#SADLY NO TEARS SO I'M JUST ANGRY

[acebportgas]

I honestly don't wish it upon anybody to be an artist, I'm so angry I want to cry.

[furioussouls]

LADS boys accidentally making you cry

with [chubby reader]

[chubby reader, don't like it, don't read]

warnings: chubby gen! reader, slight angst, slight mention of injuries (not through the boys), reader and boys sometimes have a similar dynamic as with MC(but it‘s not mc), insecurities, a little overdramatic in some parts

Disclaimer: these characters belong to the game "love and deepspace" by InFold. All lore references and worldbuilding belong solely to them.

Requested by a sweet anon :3

(also, I made the situations not that angsty because I feel like the boys wouldn't do anything that would make you cry really badly)

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Xavier:

• he accidentally made you cry when you got injured. He really didn't mean to, but he was so worried about you and snapped at you. Your nonchalant attitude scared him because why don't you care more about your health?

You limped next to Xavier, who wrapped his arm around your shoulder to support you enough that you'd be able to walk. Blood ran down your face and Xavier's musculuar arm was a supportive crutch throughout your little walk. You were careless during the fight, you really were. It was nobody's fault, since everbody has their off days, but Xavier was furious.

"Easy", Xavier's firm voice rang out as he carefully helped you sit down on a bench. He knelt infront of you and his warm hands tenderly smoothed over the healthy side of your head after he wiped the trail of blood away on the other side with his thumb. You wrapped your arms around your chubby torso to keep yourself warm enough to stop the chills raking through your body. Eventhough, the chills probably had something to do with the adrenaline leaving your body according to the sharp pain throbbing in your head. You winced and Xavier's eyes snapped to you.

"Where else does it hurt? Your leg?", his large hands gently smoothed over your thick leg and you hissed out in pain and nodded.

Xavier's jaw clenched and he exhaled deeply. "You didn't focus enough today. This could've been prevented." You nodded and sighed "Yeah, yeah. I know." Xavier's sky blue eyes squinted and a deep line formed between his brows.

"So why didn't you?", he asked persistently and inspected your leg with a deep frown, his usual soft voice stern and serious.

"Xavier, is this necessary? It's not like I did it on purpose", you mumbled out and tried to breathe through the pain. The throbbing in your head got worse with every single one of Xavier's question and you were beginning to feel the effect of walking on an injured leg.

"No. You can't slack off. Not during the fights. If you're feeling down or not up to it, don't go on the mission. This could've ended even worse than it did if I weren't there to back you up", he hissed out in frustration and gently pressed a handkerchief to the wound on your head.

"I know, Xavier. You're not telling me anything I don't know."

"Are you sure?"

You opened your eyes and felt your eyes burn. You usually wouldn't cry because of this, especially because you know Xavier cares deeply about you, but the combination of your throbbing head, your hurt leg and the remains of the adrenaline made you very susceptible to your emotions right now. Big tears ran down your soft cheeks and you hiccuped sadly until it turned into a fullblown cry. You really didn't mean to, but you just wanted to go home to bed right now, and didn't want to justify anything to Xavier. "Well sorry, we can't all be great and perfect like you." Your voice broke at the end because of another sob.

Xavier, who was busy tending to your leg looked up at you in shock. His eyes widened and the angry expression on his face faded. Xavier's jaw dropped and his breath hitched as he jumped up immediately, his hand still pressing against the wound on your head.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. Please, don't cry. I didn't mean to imply that you were incompetent. I really didn't. I was just so worried and you didn't care about your injuries. Please don't cry, hm?" His voice was soft and frantic and he gently cupped your cheek. His eyebrows furrowed in concern and he bit his pink lip. Xavier's eyes turned into a soft glossy tone as he sat and watched you cry your heart out(more out of exhaustion and pain than actual sadness, to be honest).

"I'm really sorry. You're in pain and I've just been mean to you this whole time. That wasn't okay of me. I'm so so sorry."

You nodded and sniffed pathetically and his face melted into an expression of utter smittenness and he very softly nudged your head toward his chest, his arms wrapped around your soft body and his warm hand smoothed over the rolls of your back and he gripped you tightly as gently comforted you. "It's okay, let it out. I'm sorry."

After you got proper medical attention and some sleep, the situation was already forgotten for you, but Xavier didn't forget and his heart will always squeeze painfully at the reminder of making you cry. He never raised his voice at you in general, but whenever he gets upset he remembers the moment in which you were hurt and instead of comforting you, he made you cry out of sadness. Sometimes he sheds a few tears himself at the thought.

Zayne:

• Zayne made you cry after a slight argument about his own health and well- being. It takes a lot for Zayne to make you cry because he's such a caring and gentle man and never raised his voice at you.

You walked into the house that Zayne and you shared and sighed when you noticed that Zayne wasn't home yet again. He was working overtime again. Of course, you knew that Zayne's job was stressful. You knew he carried a lot of responsibility and a heavy burden on his shoulders as a doctor. His main goal was to help people, but you were frustrated that he seemed so careless about his own wellbeing.

Zayne returned a few hours later to you sitting on the couch. You were waiting for him and had tea and a light snack prepared for him when he returned. He sighed in appreciation when he saw you and the tension drained from his shoulders. He shrugged off the jacket and sat down next to you, the exhaustion etched onto his gorgeous face. You gently cupped his cheek and Zayne's eyes closed as he exhaled blissfully. He loved coming home to you and hugging your curvy body, which was adorned in your favourite oversized shirt.

Zayne took a sip of his tea when you spoke up "Honey, I think you should take the weekend off. You look like a walking corpse."

Zayne nodded in exhaustion and rubbed his temple "Yes, I know, but I can't just drop everything. My patients need to be tended to."

You hummed understandly. "Yeah, Zayne. I understand that, but you aren't the only Doctor at Akso hospital. Your patients won't feel better if you work yourself to death."

Zayne knows you're right. He really does. But he just can't bring himself to outright agree with you. Caring for patients was his job after all. His nostrils flared in frustration and your hand started rubbing his back.

"Yes, thank you. I'm aware. But you don't know the amount of people that depend on me so maybe could we stop talking about this? It's not helpul, especially so late at night." His usual soft voice was firmer today and your hand halted over his back.

"When else are we supposed to talk if not late at night? Are you there at any other time during the day? I won't act like your job isn't tough. You work a lot. That's okay. I knew that before I got into a relationship with you, but I won't let you manipulate yourself into believing that you overworking yourself is right. 'Cause it's not. But I'm also not going to take the role of your nagging spouse. Do what you feel is right. Finish your tea and come to bed, I'll go lay down so you can decompress." Frustrated tears ran down your round cheeks and you stood up and walked into your bedroom, leaving Zayne behind.

A wave of guilt ran down Zayne's body, his exhaustion long forgotten. He sighed and buried his face in his scarred hands. Zayne didn't mean to make you feel like that; like an annoyig nagging spouse, he's so grateful for your love and now he's made you cry. A ball of dread spread from his chest and Zayne sprung up and followed you into your shared room. He knocked three times and opened the door uncertainly. You laid on your side, your back turned to him. He slowly crawled into bed and wrapped his arms around your soft and warm body. Zayne's nose was buried deeply in your shoulder and he inhaled shakingly.

"I'm so sorry, my dear. You did not deserve my anger, at all. I'm the luckiest man alive, having somebody like you worry over me. You're right, of course you are. I've been working myself to the bone and damaging our relationship. I'm so so sorry."

You sniffed and gently and put your hands over his ice cold ones; intertwining all digits with each other. "I'm just worried abot you. You don't care about yourself at all, eventhough you're the one telling me not to be reckless with my health."

"I know you are. And you're right. I'm really sorry. I'll take a week off and we can spend time together. How does that sound?", he asked softly and cuddled farther into you.

"That sounds nice but it won't help your wellbeing in general if you're just taking a break now and afterwards return to your old habits", you told him gently and he nodded. "You're right. I will work on it. I don't want to be that type of husband that makes their spouse feel bad for worrying over him. You can’t believe how grateful I am for you. I love you so much. Please, trust me.", he promised and kissed your hand. You chuckled and pat his head. "Sounds good, now shut up and go sleep." Zayne nodded obediently and kissed your shoulder.

Rafayel:

• Rafayel made you cry because of his stupid jokes.

You stood next to Rafayel as he scribbled randomly on his big canvas with his expensive paint. You looked at Rafayel in disbelief "Do you not earn enough money for a two dollar sketchbook?"

The side of Rafayel's plump mouth tugged up and he tutted sarcastically "Hmm, why would I do that when I could use my paints and canvases of quality?". You shook your head and grumbled out "Rich people make me sick."

Rafayel laughed loudly and continued painting. He drew ab exaggerated cute chibi version of you in your favourite colour; it was very round and sweet, you smiled but a tiny sensation of unease pricked at your chest. Rafayel never draws you in an attractive or beautiful way, he always drew you in a very exaggerated way. And of course, you were round. You were round, cute, attractive and sexy. It's not an insult to be seen as chubby or fat, and you knew Rafayel loves your body and the body of other chubby people as well, but when he was teasing you, it was always about the roundness of your body, which means that in some shape or form Rafayel thinks of your body as an insult.

You swallowed and crossed your arms over your chest. Tears pricked in your eyes but you blinked them away as Rafayel continued to paint. He turned to you with a big grin, which immediately faded when he saw your slightly wet eyes. "Hey, cutie? What's going on?", Rafayel cooed softly and cupped your face softly, his face concerned.

"It's just, I don't know. It’s not a big deal, but I feel like you don't like my body as much as you pretend you do. You say you love it but then when you're trying to tease me, it's always about my body and nothing else. I don't like it, because it kinda feels as if you secretly do see my body as something that you can make fun of. I don't know. You never exaggerate the body when you draw skinny people." You say and shrug your shoulders. You kept your gaze fixed on Rafayel's painting for a few seconds and then turned to face Rafayel, a few persistent tears dripped down your face.

Rafayel's jaw dropped and his purple eyes were wide. He shook his head and very softly wiped your tears away. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea that it would come across that way. I love your body, I really do. I dont tease you with things I don’t like about you, because there’s nothing I don’t like. I love everything about you. I tease you with things I like the most about you. Your body, your laugh and your smile. I love all of these things about you, so much. I can't believe I made you feel like that all this time. Why didn't you speak up sooner? You should've thrown things at me and pulled at my hair if you thought I was teasing you about your body." Rafayel rambled frantically, his hands smoothing over his purple hair nervously.

You snorted "You're teasing me with the things you like about my body? Seriously? Am I supposed to believe that?"

Rafayel nodded with wide blown eyes "I thought you knew! That's why I kept going with it. I had no idea it came across differently to you, my love. I didn' mean to hurt you at all, oh my god." He wrapped his arms quickly around your body and whispered deep apologies into your hair. You cuddled against his chest and his lip wobbled at the knowledge that he made you cry. After resting in his warm embrace for a long time, you thought about what Rafayel said and then remembered a moment in which Rafayel cuddled with your newborn niece.

'"Oh my goodness, cutie. Look at her! She's so cute. I'm gonna faint." You looked Rafayel and chuckled, his heart eyes widened at the babies coo and he gently picked her up. "Look at her, she's so round. Have you ever seen a rounder baby? You're perfect, so perfect. Such a cute little baby", he cooed and nuzzled the belly of the baby.'

You tenderly smiled against Rafayel's chest at the thought and stepped back from him. His eyebrows were furrowed and he bit his lip worriedly, he wanted to start apologising again, but you interrupted him "So, I basically only have to listen to your teasing to know what you like most about me?", you grinned at him and Rafayel blushed but nodded.

"Yes, I hope you shoot me in the face for making you cry and think I don't like your body." he mumbled miserably and dramatically let his head fall on your shoulder. You chuckled and ruffled his hair.

Sylus:

• he made you cry due to a misunderstanding , that’s all it was.

You were talking to your colleague. The two of you were assigned to do a project together and have been working together for a week now. In the past few days, you saw a few glimpses of black in the corner of your eye. You could not believe it. He couldn't trust you around another man for one week? After you finished your work for the day, you walked out of the house and saw Mephisto waiting for you. You walked over to him, your fists clenched and picked him up.

"Did your daddy send you to spy on me?", you asked him and gently stroked over his feathers. Mephisto cawed softly and you let him go. He flew home and you followed him. This seriously had to stop. Both of you were grown adults. You didn't want somebody to spy after you because they didn't trust you with another man. Even if you loved Sylus very much.

You reached Sylus' home and walked through the doors. Sylus sat on the couch. He turned to you and his face split into a big grin, his red eyes shining brightly. Sylus' face dropped when he saw your unamused expression which was combined by you crossing your arms deliciously over your ample chest.

"Did something happen?", he asked you in his deep voice, his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. Sylus rose from the couch and smoothly walked over to you.

"Why are you asking? Shouldn't you know everything already?", you asked him pointedly and nodded toward Mephisto.

Sylus raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "What happened?"

You sighed and tears of frustration pricked your eyes. You weren't necessarily sad, but yes it hurt when your partner showed his obvious distrust in you. Sylus' eyes widened and he immediately stepped forward and cupped your face. "It hurts that you don't trust me. I mean, seriously Sylus. Mephisto has never followed me before but the one time I have to work with a colleague he's there every day? Is that the kind of relationship we have?", you asked him, your voice wobbly.

Sylus, who still held your precious face dearly in between his hands shook his head insistently and softly wiped your tears away with his soft thumbs. "No, sweetie. That's not it at all. I trust you entirely and unconditionally. I'm not jealous at all. I was worried about you, my dear. Your colleague was involved in some criminal activities, and I was scared he was going to try hurting you. I know you can take care of yourself if something were to happen I want to be there for you. I'm sorry that I made you doubt my trust in you." Sylus lifted your hands and pressed a few tender kisses to the back of your hand.

"Oh", you sniffed. Sylus chuckled softly and wrapped you up in his warm embrace.

"Oh, my darling. I'm sorry I upset you. You're breaking my heart." Sylus tenderly gripped you and rubbed soothingly over your back.

"Don't apologise. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions-", Sylus shook his head and interrupted you. "And I should've told you before."

You chuckled wetly and Sylus kept his arms tightly wrapped around your body. His heart squeezed when he saw your hurt face. Let him spoil you a bit in the next few days, he feels horrible and wants to make it up to you.

Caleb:

• Caleb made you cry when you first noticed the "difference" between your old Caleb and this one.

"I believe everyone that wants to hurt you should die." Caleb's firm voice called out. His face was emotionless and and his hand softly stroked over your squishy cheek, his nose softly buried in your hair.

Unease settled in your stomach. Not only did you have to go through the process of mourning Caleb, but now he's also not the boy you remembered. Hes more stern, the softness on his face had disappeared. He says things that the Caleb from the past would never have said and you felt a deep hole in your chest. The part of your chest that was filled by nostalgia, fondness and happiness is now an empty void.

You looked up at Caleb and shook your head. "No. No, my Caleb wouldn't-".

"I wouldn't, what?", Caleb interrupted you softly and stroked over your cheek. "You think I wouldn't have changed even a little bit? After all of this? But also, what makes you so sure I didn't think exactly the same way back then?" he hummed softly and he gently rubbed his cheek on the top of your head.

Caleb let you go and took a step back. He lifted his hand to stroke over your head and you involuntarily flinched. Tears streamed down your cheek. Your mind was reeling and your emotions were a complicated wreck and you sobbed out and looked at the ground, trying to contain your feelings and stop the tears.

You saw him take a few steps back and your eyes snapped up at him. Caleb's emotionless face dropped into one of shock. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape and he shook his head.

"No. You're not scared of me. You aren't, right? Please tell me you aren't. You still know who I am. I am not dangerous to you. Never." Caleb's voice broke at the end and he consistently shook his head. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks and Caleb took quick steps forward and wrapped his arms around your familiar perfect rounded body. His strong arms gripped your body and you buried your face in his chest.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here and I won't leave you. I will never hurt you. I'm sorry for leaving. It's still me, please don't cry anymore. I love you so much."

Caleb softly brushed your tears away, the same that he did in the past and you slowly calmed down.

It took you both a bit of time to get used to this new dynamic between the two of you. It took a lot of love and patience from Caleb, who had to build the trust back up between the two of you. Sometimes you still can't believe that Caleb is back and that you mourned a person, who came back to you. Even if he's a bit different.

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A/n: I'm not happy with this at all, but I'm sick and trying to take my mind off it, so let me know what you think!

[mashtatosworld]

eyes on me (3)

summary: after the scandal shattered your world, Daesung is there to pick up the pieces. until the truth is revealed.

You lost everything.

Your career, your reputation, the love of your life - all gone in a slow, public collapse that made front-page news.

Every morning, you woke up waiting for the next headline. For the next article or tweet to twist your name into something even uglier.

GDragon’s Ex Leaks Tour Footage Producer Turned Traitor Insider Betrayal Ruins Big Bang Legacy

You’d long since been let go from your job. The word “liability” now echoed in every rejection email. Even when they didn’t say it outright, you could feel it hanging there.

A shadow on your shoulders. A stain you couldn’t scrub off.

The apartment was suffocating in its silence. Iye was gone. The shelves were dusty. The bed too cold. You moved through your days like a ghost, wrapped in oversized hoodies, waiting for a cease-and-desist letter to arrive at your door.

And it never came.

Until he did.

A soft knock on your door. You hesitated, unsure if it was someone from the press - until you peeked through the peephole and saw him.

Daesung.

A quiet smile and a Lego set tucked under his arm.

You stepped aside, wordlessly letting him in.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

You sat cross-legged on the living room floor, the pieces scattered between you like a puzzle of the person you used to be.

Neither of you spoke for a long time. The clinking of plastic bricks filled the silence. And then:

"How are you, really?" he asked gently.

You didn’t look up.

“I’m waiting for his team to sue me,” you said, trying to make it sound like a joke. It wasn’t. “Every time I check the mail I think, ‘This is it. They’re finally going to destroy me completely.’”

Daesung sighed, his hands stilling. “They tried.”

You froze.

“But Jiyong stopped it,” he continued. “He refused to let it go forward.”

Your throat tightened.

“He still cares,” Daesung added quietly.

“Not enough,” you whispered, your voice cracking at the edges.

Your hands trembled as you tried to snap a tiny blue brick into place. You blinked fast, but it was no use. The tears came before you could stop them.

“I’m so alone,” you said, barely a whisper.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

You sobbed quietly against him. And he didn’t let go. Not once.

“I miss everything,” you mumbled. “The job. The apartment. Him.”

“I know.”

You pulled back slightly, your cheeks damp, your eyes swollen.

And then… there was a moment.

A long, still breath between you both. His hands still rested gently on your arms. Your face inches from his. And for a second, you thought he might -

But Daesung withdrew. Slowly. Carefully.

“I'm sorry,” he said softly. “You're still hurting. And in love with Jiyong."

You laughed bitterly, blinking back fresh tears. “Yeah, pathetic, isn't it? God, I need to move on already. I'm sure he's already onto the next."

“Don't say that.” Daesung said. "You're Jiyong and y/n... I don't think anyone could imagine you two with someone else. Even Jiyong."

You looked down, pulling at the cuff of your sock.

“Well, before you became a couple at least,” he mumbled quietly, turning over a Lego piece in his hand.

You looked up, staring at him.

“I liked you,” he admitted. “When we first met. I wanted to ask you out. But then…” he trailed off.

“Timing,” you muttered.

He smiled sadly. “Yeah. Timing.”

You leant back, letting the silence return. You stared down at the half-finished Lego structure. It was messy, crooked. Like you.

“I’m going to get better,” you said suddenly. “I have to. I’m tired of feeling like this. I need to… move on. From him. From everything.”

Daesung nodded. “What do you need? Whatever it is, I’ll help you.”

You hesitated. "I just want to feel something other than this. Something other than sad, angry, tired... disappointed.”

He was silent for a moment. “Well... I have an idea. It always works for me.”

You blinked at him, suspicious. “Should I be worried?

He just smiled. “Get your shoes.”

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

The heater in Daesung’s car was a little too warm, and the air smelled faintly of the watermelon gum he always kept in the cupholder.

You were curled in the passenger seat, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, staring at the streetlights flicking by.

“Dae,” you groaned, eyeing the dashboard clock. “I really don’t want to do karaoke right now.”

“We’re not going to karaoke,” he said, as he rolled the windows down. All the way down.

The wind hit you instantly, cold and sharp and shocking, and then he cranked the radio up, volume climbing until the speakers buzzed.

The intro of Since U Been Gone came on, that familiar guitar riff slipping into your chest like it had been waiting for you.

“This is not better,” you laughed, voice barely cutting over the music. “What are we doing?!”

Daesung didn’t answer. He just turned the wheel, merging onto an open stretch of road, city lights melting into streaks around you. He grinned like a man with a secret.

“This,” he shouted, “isn’t karaoke.”

You stared at him.

“Now sing.”

“No.”

“SING.”

“Dae - ”

“COME ON,” he yelled, already launching into the chorus with so much conviction you were startled. “And all you'd ever hear me say - !”

You stared at him, torn between horror and hysterics.

“Is how I pictured me with you!” he continued, dramatically pointing at you. “That's all you'd ever hear me say - ”

You broke.

You cracked right open.

And then you screamed the lyrics with him - loud, raw, desperate.

"BUT SINCE YOU BEEN GONE!”

The wind whipped through your hair. Your voice tore out of your throat, carried with the cold air like a release.

You stuck your head halfway out the window, breath catching, eyes burning, the cold wind like a shot of adrenaline.

You couldn’t stop.

Every line of the song felt like it had lived in your ribs for years, waiting for this exact night.

You and Daesung were practically screaming, gasping from laughing between lyrics, your voices ragged but real.

The car flew through the quiet city, past midnight streets and blinking lights, with you two as the only chaos left awake.

When the song ended, he didn’t say anything. Neither did you.

The gentle quiet that followed was calm and not suffocating.

He glanced at you out the corner of his eye and saw your cheeks flushed from wind, lips curled into something like a real smile - not the practiced, hollow one.

The real thing.

“Better?” he asked, quieter now.

You looked at him, chest rising and falling fast.

For the first time in weeks, maybe months, you weren’t numb. You felt the burn in your lungs, the sting in your eyes, the ache in your jaw from smiling too hard.

You felt everything.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “Better.”

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt like that - not good, not healed - but free.

Alive.

You turned back to look at Daesung and he was watching the road, eyes glassy with the wind and something else - that soft warmth that always came with him. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.

And maybe nothing had changed. But something in you had.

The slump you’d been trapped in felt a little looser. The grief, a little lighter.

You looked over at him again, heart thudding a little steadier.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

He reached over blindly and took your hand, squeezing it.

“Anytime.”

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

Your life looked different now.

There was no camera crew chasing you, no curated social feeds, no extravagant tour buses or flashing lights. Just a tiny café near your new apartment and a simple routine you’d grown to love.

You poured flower-shaped foam into cappuccinos and listened to the hum of radio music under soft morning light. You still missed the old world. But it was a memory now - faded, fragile, and far away.

Now it was just you, Y/n from the café.

And Daesung.

He still came by often. Always with a crooked smile and something ridiculous to say. He’d sit by the window, sipping the coffee you made for him - always with a little heart drawn in the foam - and wait for your shift to end so he could walk you home.

On Thursdays, he made you dinner. It started casually, when he realised you barely remembered to eat. Now it was a ritual.

It was the best part of your week.

No talk of the past. No talk of him.

Until today.

Your phone wouldn’t stop ringing - five, six, seven calls in a row.

Your manager gave you a raised brow from the register. “Either answer it or switch it off, hon.”

You chuckled under your breath and pulled the device from your apron pocket.

And froze.

Ji 🖤

The name blazed across the screen like a ghost risen from the dead. You hadn't even changed his contact name since he blocked you. A photo of him holding a tiny, fuzzy Iye haunting you.

Your fingers trembled. You couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

The ringtone kept playing like a slow taunt. Your heart slammed against your ribs. You stared at it until the call ended - only for it to start again a second later.

Eventually, you powered it off.

“Didn’t want to answer?” your manager asked, concerned.

You shook your head slowly. “It’s nothing.”

But it wasn’t.

A chill followed you the rest of the shift, even as the café filled with the comfort of clinking cups and low chatter. You were wiping down tables when the bell above the door chimed again.

Daesung.

But he didn’t smile this time. He didn’t order a drink or tease you about your latte art.

He just sat by the window, biting his nail, leg bouncing anxiously.

You knew something was wrong.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

Your shift ended.

He carefully helped you into your coat, and the two of you walked together in silence.

The sky was a deep grey, the air crisp with the promise of winter. You tried talking - anything to break the tension.

“So what do you want to cook tonight? I bought those mushrooms you like - ”

“I need to tell you something,” he cut in gently.

You stopped walking, pausing in front of your apartment.

“There’s been a development in the case. Your name’s been cleared.”

You blinked. “What?”

“They found out it was someone at your old company. They impersonated you, hacked your credentials to access the footage. It’s all confirmed.”

You turned away, pulling your keys from your pocket and unlocking the door. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Y/n - ”

“It doesn’t,” you said sharply, stepping inside and heading straight to the kitchen. “At least now I won’t end up in court. That’s something.”

He followed, watching as you set out the cutting board and knives.

“Maybe you should go to court and sue whoever it was,” he said quietly. “Make them pay.”

“Let Jiyong sue them. He’s already having his legal team handle it, right?”

You began unpacking ingredients from your fridge. Daesung hesitated.

“He is,” he admitted.

You let out a soft, humourless laugh. “He couldn’t believe me until he had cold, hard evidence. Not a phone call. Not a conversation. Not even a question. Just silence.”

Daesung started chopping in your place, the kitchen filling with quiet sounds of preparation. A kind of peace.

Dinner was simple and warm - a spicy stir fry and soda, your new usual.

Then his phone buzzed on the table.

Jiyong.

He looked at you. “Should I answer?”

You scoffed. “Sure. Let him know you’re having dinner with me.”

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “He knows, y/n. I told him I’ve stayed in touch with you. We fought about it. For a couple weeks. Then he stopped bringing it up.”

“Too tired to fight anymore?” you murmured.

“Too scared to lose anyone else.”

You didn’t reply. Just stood and fetched the bottle of wine. You poured two glasses and handed him one.

“I thought you stopped drinking,” he said gently.

“I did.”

He raised a brow.

“This is a celebration,” you said, forcing a smile. “I’m no longer the world’s favourite backstabbing bitch.”

He accepted the glass, and you clinked yours gently against his. The wine tasted sharp. Almost sweet.

The two of you curled up on the couch and started a movie, horrors were your favourite.

And he never said a word in protest, but you were starting to suspect that maybe, despite his assurance he was happy to watch too, he was less of a fan. You'd occasionally catch his eyes squeezed shut or feel him jolt at the jump scares.

When it got late, you glanced over at him, voice soft. “Will you stay?”

He looked at you for a moment and nodded. “Yeah. I will.”

You turned off the lights and pulled the blanket over both of you. His arms found you naturally, curling around your waist, anchoring you in the moment.

And to him.

Just before sleep stole you, you felt his lips brush against your hairline.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

When morning came, the sun peeked softly through the curtains. The room was still. Warm.

And Daesung was gone.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

i fear i would have picked up...

also dae singing kelly clarkson? let's not question it and live in fantasy land together ok? great 🤣

taglist: @petersasteria, @mirahyun , @allthoughtsmindfull , @gdinthehouseee , @infinetlyforgotten , @redhoodedtoad , @kathaelipwse , @lxvemaze , @loveesiren , @sherrayyyyy , @getyoassoutthetrunk , @shieraseastarrs , @ctrldivinev , @xxxicddbr88 , @onyxmango , @tryingtolivelifeblog , @tulentiy , @bettelaboure , @breakmeoff , @emmiesoverthemoon , @rafesbunniebby , @ricecake9999 , @fleabagspurplewife , @sylviavf , @ldydeath , @wonyluvi , @deliciousmagazinequeen , @heartubeatusalon , @imminsugasgf

[queers-gambit]

Let the Redeemed Tell Their Story [ pt. 2 ]

part one: Not So Heavenly Surprise

pt 1: Let the Redeemed Tell Their Story

prompt: reunions are bittersweet. feelings are hard. times are tough, redemption is sought, goodbyes feel impossible; there's blood in the snow, tears in their eyes, and a haunting goodbye in the air.

pairing: Joel Miller x female!wife!reader

fandom masterlist: HBO's The Last of Us

word count: 7.8k+

note: in my best Tom Segura voice, "get. fucking. ready." -> second 24-27 from this TikTok for reference

second note: broken up into two parts. pt 1: the reunion, pt. 2: the drama and angst

warnings: suicidal ideology / mention as pertains to Joel's story. we talk death and dead bodies, mentions of dead children. cursing, use of Y/N, so many spoilers, reader insert!! pet names for / by all, step parents are REAL parents, forgiveness, heavy redemption arc, canon-level violence!! small comfort, some fluff, established relationship, and then super-sized angst, author wants you to hurt! oh, and fatal main character injury! maturity and caution required! written before season two! intentional person shift at the end.

❗️season one, episode six (and beyond) spoilers

you will find no comfort here. you've been warned!

Tommy was heard from the mouth of the stable, revealing you grooming and tacking up an angry looking beast the color of an oak tree in the middle of the aisle. "And if you really wanna get under her skin, just start nitpickin' all she does, all right?" He smirked at Ellie, who appeared ghastly that morning. "I'm talkin' the way she makes a fire, fixes food, shoots her gun - "

"You're fixin' for a smack down, Tommy Miller, better watch yourself," you warned with a chuckle. Ellie trudged towards you with her pack - slowing when she noted in the stall just before where you stood, Joel, tacking a chestnut horse.

She didn't question the two horses being fixed up, thinking one was for her and one for you; instead setting her unimpressed glare on Joel. She sneered, "You came here to say goodbye or something?"

"No," Joel answered. "I came here to steal one of these horses and go."

"We woulda gave you one," Tommy offered sadly, looking towards your knowing smirk with confusion.

"I know," older brother assured younger. "But then, this nagging voice just started - "

"All right, fuck off," you chuckled, patting your horse's neck. "Truth is, he changed his mind - don't matter who convinced him or nagged him," your eyes rolled. "You deserve your autonomy, darlin'," you directed at Ellie, turning your gaze to Joel to silently encourage him to speak up.

"She's right," Joel sniffled, approaching Ellie, "you deserve a choice. I still think you'd be better off with Y/N - "

"Let's go," Ellie shoved her pack into Joel's chest.

"Okay," he stiffly accepted, meeting his brother's amused stare before dropping it to you. "You get a choice, too, Y/N."

"I didn't get up early out my warm bed with my long-lost husband for fuckin' nothin', Joel," you scoffed. "Y'all don't know where you're goin', I do. So let's shut up and let's ship out, all right?"

"Okay," again, Joel accepted begrudgingly.

Tommy followed you out of the stables, taking the reins when you handed them for his hold as you helped Ellie acquaint herself with the basics of riding; letting the brothers say goodbye as you offered her a leg-up. "Hold onta both," you told her gently, handing over the reins; her nodding and humming in agreement, letting you adjust the stirrups and latch the last of their packs.

When the brothers pulled out of their hug, Tommy assured, "There's a place for you here. Both of you."

"Countin' on it," Joel agreed. "Can I borrow that?" He asked, looking to the tricked-out rifle on Tommy's shoulder.

"Yeah," Tommy agreed without hesitation.

"'Cause Maria took mine, you know?"

"Already said yes, Joel," he smirked, situating the strap over Joel's shoulder. You turned from Ellie to stand at Joel's side with a fond expression, Tommy looking the pair of you over before bidding, "Adios, big brother."

Joel nodded, hand lifting to squeeze your bicep to let you have your own goodbye. "You behave while I'm gone, boy."

"You know I won't," he teased, something in his eyes shifting. "You be careful out there. Watch each other's backs..."

"We will."

"Want all y'all comin' home," he tried to smile, opening his arms and bringing you in for a tight embrace. However, when he went to pull back, you tightened your embrace - just needing an extra moment with your best friend. "You be fuckin' careful, hear?" He hissed in your ear, throat tight with emotion. "Your nephew's gonna need you. I'm gonna need you, too."

"Can't get rid of me so easily," you quipped, patting his shoulder roughly. "I'll be seein' you real soon."

"Better be, babygirl," he sniffled, the pair of you letting go at the same time. Joel was mounted in his saddle, looking away to give the pair of your privacy, but Ellie watched the entire exchange with a somber expression; having witnessed one too many goodbyes in her short lifetime. "All right, now," Tommy held your horse in place as you expertly mounted, "bring me back a souvenir, yeah?"

"You're an idiot," you chuckled, nudging your horse on to lead Joel and Ellie to the gate; which opened upon your command. "Hey - love you," you reached for Tommy's hand; him lifting to grab yours as the horse prodded along.

"Love you, too, babygirl," he smiled, nodding as he was forced to let go; catching his brother's eye as they passed through the gate after you. They nodded with intention, never needing to say many words, and Tommy watched from inside the territory as you and Joel set out into the wilderness. "Close it up," he waved to the guardsmen.

Ellie decided within a day she liked you.

There had been a strange sort of jealousy within a couple hours of listening to you and Joel recount memories of the past; but soon, you had looped the girl into conversation with shitty jokes with shitty punchlines based on shittier puns. Joel sighed, "Ah, fuck, there's two of 'em now."

It spurred the pair of you into deeply personal missions to annoy the man; instantly teaming up to put your best shitty jokes to use. Then came the construction of new jokes, which made Joel smile as he listened to you bicker about the proper nuances of puns. The conversation naturally then lulled into embarrassing stories - of which, you had plenty about Joel. The jealousy of sharing Joel's attention soon morphed into appreciation as the man loosened up under your warm gaze and silky voice; revealing a new side of himself, a part of him Joel had long since thought dead. That night, Ellie noticed the way Joel slept leaning back into your chest when camp was made, thinking he must've felt safe enough to doze even for a couple hours.

By the second day, you had convinced Joel to let Ellie try her hand at Tommy's rifle; assuring you've handled it before and was safe to use. Your own wasn't anything impressive, that left to the ex-Army Ranger; so, naturally, it remained strapped to your saddle as the three of you took time to set up a practice firing range.

"How do you know how to do all this?" Ellie asked you.

"Tommy taught me," you smirked. "I used to be afraid of guns, you know. Didn't fuckin' like 'em."

"What? No way," she scoffed, noting the handgun holstered in the back of your jeans.

"Uh-huh," Joel returned to the fallen tree you'd posted at from setting up a target few yards out. "Wouldn't let me keep one in the house."

"We had a kid runnin' around!" You reminded. "That's how accidents happen!"

"Why didn't you like 'em?" Ellie wondered.

"I was an ER doctor," you revealed. "Saw a lot of unnecessary bullet holes in too young'a bodies. Tend to develop a dislike after seein' shit like that."

"Makes sense," she nodded, taking up the rifle. "Guess it's normal now for everyone to know how to shoot and fight, huh?"

"Just the way the world works," you frowned, lifting the binoculars to watch as she fired her first shot. "That's all right, readjust, don't be afraid of the recoil... Take a breath, try again, honey, you got this."

Her second shot went left, hitting a dead tree. You handed Joel the binoculars after the third shot hit a snowbank. He watched the next few rounds hit everything but the target he erected. When Ellie huffed, he noted, "Wide right. Y/N's right, you're flinchin'."

"The target's too small," Ellie deflected.

"I made it bigger than I should've."

"Eject the cartridge," you told Ellie softly.

"And I'm not flinching!"

"I never said you were! That was all him," you blamed Joel.

"Mhm," Joel shared a bemused look over Ellie's head with you.

"The rifle just sucks."

"A good craftsman never blames the tool, darlin'," you advised. "Here, give it. Lemme see."

Ellie sighed, letting you take control of the weapon; kneeling where the gun was propped on the tree. "It doesn't aim right."

"All right."

"You'll see!"

"Hm," you considered, peering through the scope; suddenly acutely aware of Joel posted just behind you.

"See what she's doin'," Joel pointed out to Ellie. "A deep breath in, slow breath out. Then she's gonna squeeze the trigger like she loves it." You tried not to laugh out loud but smiled broadly, lining up your shot as Ellie hummed and peered out the binoculars. "Gentle," Joel narrated, "steady... Nice and slow, baby," he directed at you.

Which made Ellie quip, "You gonna let her shoot this thing or get her pregnant again?" She just smirked knowingly at the exasperated look you and Joel pinned her with.

"I thought we were on the same side - against him, damn, Ellie," you muttered, looking back through the scope.

"It isn't gonna work," she told you. "It doesn't aim right - " But the gunshot cut her off, watching a small plume of debris sprinkle the air from impact. "Youuuu dick."

With a grin, you just shrugged at Ellie, who clocked Joel's look of immense pride. "That's my girl," he muttered, kissing your temple as you handed off the rifle to stand.

On the third day, Ellie rode with you.

"So, what's Ajax mean?" She wondered as you pet your horse's neck.

"I guess Greek mythology's pretty redundant these days," you quipped to Joel, who only shrugged. "Ajax the Great was a mythological hero, second only to Achilles."

"Oh, I've heard of him. There's a part of the body named after him, right?"

"The Achilles Tendon," you nodded.

"Where's that?"

"In the heel. Do you know the story of Troy?"

"Uh..."

"FEDRA ain't teaching mythology, sugar," Joel shot at you playfully.

"Guess not - why would they?" You sighed. "Okay, Ellie, do you know the term Trojan Horse?"

Ajax whinnied to the girl's amusement. "Nope."

"Troy was an ancient civilization, impenetrable. Until the end of the ten-year-long Trojan War when the Greeks tricked them by building this huge wooden horse - but inside, the Greeks were hidden. So, the Trojans, thinking it was a gift of sorts, brought the wooden horse into their city, and as they slept, the Greeks struck and Troy finally fell. So, a Trojan Horse is a term used when the sheep invite the wolves to dinner."

"Oh... Okay, so, who's Achilles?"

"Greatest Greek hero," you boasted. "He was shot through the heel by an arrow, disabling him to his death. Hence the tendon coined after him."

"That's kinda cool. So, Ajax was his second...?"

"Kinda, if you wanna think that. He was another Greek warrior, best around besides Achilles. He played a major role in the Trojan War. Do me a favor, honey," your head turned to direct at Ellie, "and if you ever get your hands on a copy of the Iliad, read it. 'S a great story, bit long - but worth."

"You named your horse after a dead guy?"

You scoffed playfully, "I named my horse after a strong-ass, legendary dead guy, thank you very much. My boy here - most loyal around, would go through a ten-year war with me. Has even saved my ass few times on outings, sensed or heard the Infected before they could get to us."

"No shit? Horses are loyal like that?"

"Oh, yeah. My boy," you patted the dark bay's neck again, "is a friend till death. I raised him... We go on every raid together, so it's only fitting this be our last, right?"

"Hopefully his ankles don't give out," Ellie teased, making you snicker slightly.

"Not like Joel's back, right?"

Ellie snorted and wrapped her arms around your waist comfortably; head resting to the side, allowing you and Joel to smile at each other. When you turned forward, he just watched the pair of you together, his heart hammering for an entirely different reason. When your gaze turned to him again and caught his stare, you offered a look of gentle confusion, earning a mouthed, "I love you," in return. You grinned until your cheeks hurt.

On the fourth, Ellie rode alone on your trusted steed, Ajax; too excited by the freedom of riding in open fields to comment on Joel's tight and intimate holding of you. She trotted along, learned to canter, made laps around the pair that appeared all too at peace grinding against each other, snuggled tight; calling out the occasional riding direction.

It was mildly impressive how Ajax took verbal command, or so it seemed to the 14-year-old. She was beginning to get a sense of why you were so taken with the beast.

On the fifth, she rode with you again to give Joel's not-named-after-a-dead-guy horse a break. Joel was explaining the logistics of various sports, the pair currently on the topic of American football as your trio approached the conjunction on interstates.

"So, basically just moving in one direction," the child simplified.

"Basically," you agreed, "but violent."

"Oh, well. There's that," she mused, holding your waist loosely as Ajax moseyed along.

Noting the I-25 sign, Joel commented, "Well, how 'bout that? Made it in five days."

"Easy days," added Ellie. She squeezed your waist, "I don't know what you were so afraid of."

"Still time to find out," Joel cryptically told her.

Ellie mocked, "'Still time to find out.'" To Joel's unimpressed look at her behind you, she continued in a raspy voice, "The Contractorrrr."

"We missin' something, Y/N?" Joel asked you, ignoring Ellie's self-amusement and your smirk.

"Not every venture is this easy," you shrugged. "Cities are more dense, more room for raiders and Infected to hide out. And bein' we don't frequent 'round here, they got the jump on us already..." The two horses were directed towards the distant city, "We'd all do good bein' on lookout from here out."

"Yes, ma'am," Joel nodded.

"Yes, ma'am."

You smirked at Ellie over your shoulder.

From then on, you were in the lead, navigating the city by the old, rusting signs pointing towards the university campus; the city overgrown with brush, winter killing most to crackle satisfyingly under horse hooves. You nodded to Joel, telling Ellie to hold the reins for you as you both armed yourselves; three heads then on a spin for any sign of life or movement.

Approaching the campus entrance, Ellie read aloud, "'Home of the Big Horns'. What does that mean?"

"Team mascot," you pointed out the charicture, "the rams. It's a kind of sheep."

"Oh, see, Joel?" Ellie noted the nervous energy between the adults, trying to relieve it by offering sweetly, "One step closer to your dream."

It was enough to make you smile at Joel, "The sheep ranch? Really?"

"You get your horses, darlin', don't worry," he eased.

"Uh, guys?" The pair of you glanced at Ellie, who pointed out, "I don't see any Fireflies, though."

"They're probably in the middle - safer that way," you offered, Joel nodding in silent agreement.

"Uh-huh." The arms around your waist tightened and Ajax shifted his weight.

"This way," Joel lead on, you keeping even par.

Through the campus, Ellie gazed around in wonder, your eyes flickering up and down, side to side; never resting in one place for too long. "So these places... People would live here and, like, what? Go to classes and stuff?"

"Yup," answered Joel.

"Even though they were adults."

"Sort-of adults," he corrected. "I think it was just as much about partying and findin' themselves as anythin' else. Figurin' out what they wanted to do with their lives."

Ellie repeated with a breathy chuckle, "What they wanted to do with their lives. That what you did?"

"Sorta... Met Y/N when she was at a school like this," he offered with a sweet smile, "realized she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with."

"You fuckin' butterball," you chuckled, offering him a soft look. "Yeah, he won me over real easy. Was impossible t'say no."

"How'd he do it?"

You shot Joel a coy look, who distracted Ellie, "So I've been thinkin'."

"Mhm?"

"I don't want a sheep ranch, actually. I mean, if the deal is I can do anything?"

"That's the deal."

"Well... When I was a kid, I wanted to be a singer."

Ellie couldn't contain her glee, laughing with disbelief, "Shut up."

"Why is that funny?" Joel looked so vulnerable, it made your heart clench. Only children had this way of unlocking the authentic side of stone cold hearts - Ellie already wedged deep in Joel's.

"Oh, he's got a beautiful voice, darlin'," you tacked on with a grin. "It rumbles like a rain storm. This one time - "

"Baby, don't give her the ammunition - "

Ellie cut Joel off, "You gotta sing something now."

Who immediately refused, "No."

"C'mon, man. I'm not gonna laugh."

"You're already laughin'."

"Yeah, okay, true." Hooves clip-clopped over brick in a distinct echo. "Well, you're singin' for me later. I'm gonna save the fuckin' world, man, it's the least you can do for me."

Joel considered her words for a moment, agreeing, "Fair enough."

"What about you, Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"Dream job - perfect world, no barriers or whatever. Go."

"Oh," you blinked in thought. "Maybe... A historian."

"What? But you're a doctor!"

"Yeah, I know, but you said perfect world, right? I love history but the only career path I could've taken was becomin' a teacher - and I'm none too good with all that."

"She's lyin'," Joel mused, "she's damn good at everythin' she does." Your eyes rolled playfully.

"So why a doctor?"

"Paid more," you joked. "Nah, it just... Felt good helpin' people, fixin' problems. I had a little brother, right? He was a surprise baby, born early, had these medical problems, and I don't know - just really inspired me the way they gave my parents a new hope, fresh outlook on life."

"That's nice. So, ideally, you'd, like, work in a stuffy library?"

"Maybe," you mused. "Get to see all the great cities around the world, recount stories and lore, meet the people, embrace the culture... Sounds pretty cool to me."

"Hm," Ellie smiled, leaning her cheek to your shoulder; a fond smile stretching across your lips as you relished in the feel of a kid depending on you again. The further into campus you got, the stranger sounds that echoed; putting you and Joel on edge. However, the young, sharp eyes of the child riding behind you saw the source of the noises and gaped, "Are those monkeys!?"

Joel offered in explanation, "Must be from the old labs."

"Fuck's sake," you muttered when Ajax side-stepped in annoyance to the scampering creatures; heading bobbing and snorting with mistrust. "Easy, boy, you're all right," you patted the broad neck, Ajax snorting again when the monkeys took off running.

"Look at them go," Ellie laughed.

"First time seein' a monkey?" Joel quipped.

"First time seein' a monkey."

"Y/N," Joel nudged your arm, nodding ahead to a campus directory. There was a spray-painted yellow Firefly on the biomedical science building sign.

Feeling you sit up and situate your rifle with definition, Ellie sighed, "Here we go." Approaching the relatively unaffected building, Ellie pointed out, "Guard stations."

"Mh," Joel hummed. "No guards."

"Uh..."

"Yeah," you breathed.

"Gun?"

"Yeah," you shared a small look of skepticism with Joel.

"What'chu thinkin', darlin'?"

"They could've moved," you shook your head. "Ain't no use theorizing anything until we see for ourselves, right?"

"Right..."

The two horses came to a halt, you offering Ellie one of your arms to help her swing down from Ajax; following suit as Joel did the same. You both left your horses loosely tethered to a tree branch; Ellie arming herself with her handgun as you and Joel did the same - rifles slung over your shoulders.

"Stay close t'me," Joel muttered to you, nodding at Ellie; trio moving forward into the biomedical building as cautiously as possible.

Inside, you were greeted with what appeared to be an abandoned building. The lobby was left in a tattered mess, supplies, machines, papers and more left in disarray as if someone had already picked through everything. Or left in haste.

"There were definitely doctors here," the girl poked through few supplies left on a trolley. "Hey, Doc, these make any sense to you?"

You approached the trolley and leafed through the file left behind; Joel looking over your shoulder, so close, you could feel his warm breath on your neck. After a moment to read over it, you identified, "This is a packing list. Somethin' you make before movin' - when you don't wanna forget the most important shit..."

"They just left?" Breathed Ellie in confusion, thinking they had been waiting for her. Wouldn't they have been? If she was immune? Why leave if they knew she was on the way? Before either adult could answer her, there came a distant clatter from the floor above them; metal hitting linoleum, by the sound of it. "Maybe not all of them..."

"Joel," you reached for his arm when he meant to move forward in investigation. "Look around, baby, ain't nothin' left - shit's already been scavenged over. Or whoever was here, left in a hurry. Should cut our losses and go - I-I can get us on the radio, I'll find Marlene myself - "

"We came all this way, darlin'... We gotta check it out."

"Hey, hey, I get it - I do, Joel, you know I do. But in my experience, noises in abandoned buildings aren't usually friendly. This has bad written all over it."

"It's all right," he soothed, caressing your cheek with his bare hand. "Stick together, we watch each other's back. That's how we stay safe, right?"

You huffed and nodded, knowing it was probably the right thing to do to check for signs of life but every nerve in your body was alight, on fire, begging you to get the hell out of there. Yet as you've done so many times before, you followed Joel; hoping your bravery would pay off towards this act of contrition.

The clattering continued, a sort of trail for you and Joel to follow; Ellie nearly snug between you both, safe. Your teeth clenched and hands held your gun in a steady grip, feeling a renewed sense to protect your husband and his sort-of adopted daughter; love, bravery, adrenaline, and possibly stupidity racing through your veins. Up stairs and down halls, you heard a clash from one of the classrooms; sharing a look with Joel that made you instantly press to the wall, pushing Ellie along with you. His eyes met yours, watching you nod and raise your gun; turning back for the door and wincing as it opened with a creak.

However, inside the mummified room was just a monkey; who screeched in alarm and jumped out the shattered window, leading two more to escape after it. Nobody was sure if they were relieved or disappointed to find the room empty, but Joel still mused, "Well... At least it ain't Clickers."

"Yeah, no Fireflies either," Ellie shot back. "Maybe in all that research, they turned into fuckin' monkeys."

"It ain't no worry, you two," you tired to assure, "I'll get on the radio back home and try to figure this out. All right? C'mon, might be somethin' 'round here that says where they went. Go 'head, look around."

Ellie was already toeing her way through whatever was left on the floor, Joel spying a bulletin board displaying a map. "Y/N?" He called, drawing your being to his side - and Ellie.

"That's where they went?" She asked, using her gun to point at the pinned map to Salt Lake City.

"All the pins lead there," Joel seemingly agreed, gazing over the tricolored pins leading to the city. "Maybe gettin' ahead of the weather, better facilities? I don't know."

Your hand slapped over his mouth and head snapped towards the open window when a voice sounded from below, "This way." With your hand held up, you silently tiptoed your way over, keeping to the shadowed side to peer out, just in time to note four raiders stalking past on the ground with weapons in hand.

"Fuck me," you hissed, backing away to face Joel. "There's four - "

"We can take 'em."

"We're not riskin' it - not with Ellie! We gotta go, now. C'mon, out the back."

Joel nodded at Ellie to follow you; hoping the raiding party wasn't split in two as you swiftly took off in the opposite direction they appeared to be heading in. Before taking corners, you listened for the intruders before leading Joel and Ellie around - finally making it to the doors and pushing out quietly. Joel took refuge behind the sandbags as you caught the door and shut it gently; only then moving as a unit to the next guard post to observe the territory, horses in sight.

"All right," you whispered, "we're gonna make a beeline - and all I want you to do, darlin', is get on the horse. Okay?"

"Okay."

You nodded, glancing at Joel, "Good?"

"Good."

"Ready?" You asked Ellie.

"Yeah."

You moved first, leading the three swiftly for your horses. Ellie evidently had a problem with taking direction from authority as she only grabbed the reins and held Joel's horse as you both swiftly stored your rifles - but movement caught your eye just as Ellie shouted, "Joel!"

You moved into action before a single thought registered; a final act of truest and purest redemption: sacrifice.

Bullying Joel out of the way, the raider swung the wooden baseball bat into the tree; missing his mark but shattering the handle. You used the man's momentum against him, Joel watching in horror as the man managed to wriggled around before you wrapped the man in a headlock and didn't hesitate to snap his neck. Being a doctor and knowing the body had few perks. The fight was over before it began, throwing the dead body aside with the only thought being Joel and Ellie were safe; turning to face them with a pant.

But Joel's face cracked, eyes drawn low, "Oh, my fuckin' God. Baby..."

"Y/N?" Ellie whispered, holding both horses by the reins in one hand, gun still in the other and pointed at the ready.

"What?" You looked down, suddenly aware of the baseball handle protruding from your gut. "Oh. Huh..." You gingerly wrapped your hand around the base, wincing, and without thinking it through or realizing your adrenaline-fueled actions, yanked the wood free.

Being a doctor didn't make you a God - you were still human. And humans made mistakes. This one just happened to be your worst one to date... And your last.

"No!" Joel yelped, lunged forward as if to stop you, but it was too late. He caught your stagger into his side, "No, no, you should've left it, baby, fuck! No, it-it was like a plug - not supposed to pull it out."

"Shit," you chuckled, holding the bloody wound with him; dropping the handle to the dead grass. "I-I didn't think, I'm sorry..."

Ajax whinnied in warning. "Joel! Get her on the horse!" Ellie demanded, eyes over their shoulders at the approaching raiders. She mounted herself, crying in panic, "Now! Get her up! Joel!"

"C'mon, baby, we gotta go," Joel worried, lifting you to Ajax with a scream of pain ripping from your lungs. "I know, I know, just gotta hang tight, all right? Just hang on - "

"Joel! C'mon! Get on the horse! Let's go!" Ellie offered her hand, Ajax already whinnying and rearing his head as if he knew how to protect you by getting away from the rushing threat.

"Hang on, baby, just hang on for me!" Joel panted, reaching to jump on behind Ellie as you whimpered and encouraged Ajax forward.

"Go!" Ellie yelped after him, holding the reins to let Joel reach out and push you upright to prevent you from toppling over the galloping horse's shoulder. "Get back!" She shouted at the raiders, firing her gun wildly at the enemies taking cover.

"You motherfuckers!" They heard in the distance, horses galloping off campus and out of the city.

Joel reached out to keep hold of your body as you tried to staunch the bleeding, supporting whatever weight he could as Ellie constantly looked back down the train tracks they walked down. "They're not following us. I think we're safe," she alerted in time to catch sight of Joel leaning out to try to catch you.

"No, no, no, shit, no!" He grimaced when you slid sideways away from him, landing in the snow with a small grunt. "Baby, no, no, no, hey, hey," he dismounted without stopping his horse; leaving that part up Ellie. "No, hey," he dropped to his knees beside you, pulling you in his lap, "hey, baby, no, I'm here, all right? Yo-You gotta stay conscious for me, okay? Hear me? Hey, I got you, I'm right here," he readjusted to press his hand over your wound, letting the other cradle you.

"Joel?" You wheezed. "Joel - "

"Yeah, baby, it's me - I'm here. I gotcha."

"Hi, darlin'," you whispered.

"Hey," he sniffled, slowing down as he heard the finality in your voice, "hey, hi, sugar, yeah, it's me."

"It's cold," you chuckled, coughing lightly to send a splatter of blood over your chin. Ellie bowed her head as tears slowly built as Joel readjusted you so you weren't totally in the snow. "Never really liked the cold, did I?"

"No, no, never did - 's why we never left Texas."

"Right," you breathed with an easy smile. In near-delirium, you asked, "Hey, baby... I-I'm not makin' it outta this one, am I?"

"No, don't fuckin' talk like that - we're gonna get you help. All right? Ellie - Ellie and I, we're gonna get you help, baby, just gotta hang on - "

"Joel," you wheezed, sounding as if all your strength was being channeled into speaking to him, "just listen, would'jah? Got somethin' for yah."

"I don't need nothing but you, baby, c'mon - "

"'Round my neck," you continued, eyes fluttering, "take 'em."

"What?" He sniffled, shaking his head.

"Take 'em, Joel, please, and remember the good we had... The good we did..."

His brows furrowed but gingerly moved the neckline of your coats, discovering a single golden chain. It was one he recognized from you wearing it everyday after your grandmother gifted it to you, and around the loop, two rings. "Oh, God," he chuckled breathlessly, "you kept 'em?"

"'Course I did... Always knew you'd find your way back t'me," your smile was hazy, eyes unseeing. "Take 'em, please."

"Nah, nah, baby, here, lookit," he sniffled, unlatching the necklace to drop the wedding bands in his hand with a chink. "These ain't never comin' off again, hear me? It's you and me, baby, how it's always supposed to be - in life and death, right? That's what we said, till death do us part. Here, here, I gotcha," he slid the diamond ring back on your bloody wedding finger, shoving his own on and holding it up. "See that? Hey? You see it, baby? They're back on, all right? Where they belong a-and won't ever come off again, 'cause we're not finished." He wrapped you in his arms, hand back over the wound with yours over his, "You hear me? We're not over yet, darlin', so, please, just hold on a little longer. I know you can - please, you have to. All right? You're so strong, baby, just hang on, please. Okay? I just found you again, you can't leave me - I need you, Y/N. I need you. Don't do this, please, please, please," he chanted, the sobs wracking his lungs to chop the words messily. Behind him, Ellie sniffled. "It's supposed to be you and me, doll, remember? So, please, don't do this, I need you. I need you - "

"I'm always with you," you managed to whisper. "But you gotta be there for yourself now, Joel... And Ellie, she needs yah, too."

"What about what I need? Huh? What about how I need you?"

"I'm right here..."

"Shit," Joel glared at his bloody hand. "All right, hey, there's a town - right? There's a town not far, baby, it's just up ahead, you just hang on until we get there." But when he tried to move you, the whimper of pain made him stop, rambling on, "We're almost there, okay? You're doin' so well, baby, but just hang on a little longer. An-And we'll find supplies, we'll get you help, honey, all right? Sound good?"

"Yeah, sounds nice," you slurred. "Hey, Joel?"

"I'm here. You gotta hang on for me, please, okay? Y/N, you fuckin' hang on - I can fix this. All right? I can fix all of this, but you gotta be strong for me - you gotta let me fix this, Y/N, please. I gotta get you safe, but then it'll be all better, okay?"

"Joel," Ellie whispered sadly, knowing they weren't moving anytime soon.

"No, no, no," Joel chanted, pulling you closer as your eyes cracked open to gaze up at him. "Hey, hey, pretty girl, hey, it's me. Please... I need you. I can't fuckin' do this without you."

You smiled that pretty smile, blood lining the impeccably white teeth. "Thank you... For comin' back. For findin' me. I love you so Goddamn much, hate w-we had m-more time apart than we d-did t-t'gether."

Joel whimpered, the tears flooding his cheeks as his chest finally caved in. "I'd find you anywhere, pretty girl, in every lifetime. And I never stopped loving you, you know that? Not a day, not a single minute; it's always you, it'll always be you, you gotta know that. C'mon, baby, just stay with me, all right? We're-We're not supposed to end like this. We got fucking years to make up for, like you said! And we have so much left to do - I just found you again. Please, hang on f'me - "

"I don't think we get anymore do-overs, baby," you smiled still. "But that's okay... It's all gonna be okay, I promise. You're gonna be okay, Joel, because you're the strongest person I know. You got a family waitin' for yah in Jackson, 'member?"

"You're part of that family, Y/N!"

"Not anymore," you sniffled, the tears flowing as the adrenaline drained from your system. "And that's okay, Joel. You're gonna have a new chapter in life... And that's so excitin'."

"You're supposed to be in every chapter," he sobbed, shaking his head. "I need you, baby, please, fucking please!"

"You know what's not fair? How handsome you are - even when you cry," you choked, hand over his tightening. "It's okay, Joel... It's okay to lemme go, you're gonna be all right. I promise, my love, you're okay... It's all gonna be okay..."

Joel's heart stammered as you grew weaker, realizing in your last moments of need, you were still comforting him. He knew that was unfair, that you needed him. So he cleared his throat, found his strength, and nodded, "Yeah, all right, sugar, yeah. You're always right, aren't yah? It's all gonna be okay... You're gonna be okay, just like you say."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, baby, yeah, I-I-I can fix this. Hear me? I'll fix this, you just - you just relax. It's okay... You don't have to be strong anymore, I've got you. I'll be strong for the both of us, and we're all gonna be okay. Got that? You and me, baby, we're gonna be okay. All right?"

"You promise?"

"Of course," he leaned in to peck your forehead. "I'm gonna fix this - like I fixed the roof that time? Remember?" He saw the faint smile and continued, "I swear it, pretty mamas, you're gonna be okay, I'll fix this, don't you worry."

"Oh," you breathed with another pretty smile that would haunt Joel for his numbered days. "Haven't heard that name in ages. Always loved it... When you called me that..."

"Yeah? Remember your first Mother's Day? When Sarah first called you that?"

"I was in that yellow sundress... W-We went t'the park... Had a picnic, just us three..."

"You were so Goddamn beautiful in that dress - still are, you still are, my pretty mama," he grinned, nodding. "And Sarah - Sarah was just in awe, called you that - called you pretty mama all day. Told everyone we saw that her mama was the prettiest, didn't she? That she had the best mama around," he sobbed gently. "Made everyone say 'happy Mother's Day' to you, remember that?"

"She was such a good girl," you remembered, "so sweet, so pure - I don't know how she came from us."

"She was raised with so much love," Joel sniffled, leaning down to press his lips to your forehead. "And she was so smart, and-and always right, just like you - y'all ran circles around me, huh?"

"You kept up..." You coughed, whimpering in pain.

"You're all right, baby, I gotcha. It's okay... Y-You can rest now, I'm right here. I have you, ain't never lettin' go. I'm gonna fix all this, but it's okay if you wanna rest... You've redeemed yourself, mamas, hear me? Hey... Y/N, you hear me?"

"I hear you," you slurred, the smile still there.

"You redeemed yourself. You're good, pretty girl, you're so good. You did so good."

"Joel - it-It hurts," you grimaced, whimpering brokenly as the hysteria set in. "It hurts and I-I'm scared, I'm scared, Joel, please, please, please, don't let me go - I don't wanna go. I love you, I love you, please, I don't wanna be alone, Joel, please, I-I don't wanna leave you, I don't wanna be without you, I love you too much, I can't go alone, I don't wanna go - "

"I know, honey, I know, just breathe, you're safe, I've got you. This won't for much longer, okay? I promise, I'm gonna fix it, okay? But you, you just relax. It'll be over soon, I swear, pretty girl. You're okay, baby... And, just think, you're not gonna be alone 'cause you're gonna see Sarah a-and Delilah again. Okay? You're gonna see our girls. That's what you're gonna go do, it's okay - "

"No, no, not with you. We should all be together, please."

"That's all right, mamas, I won't be joinin' y'all just yet, but you go ahead without me. It's okay. I know it's not what we wanted, it's not what we planned, but I'm here with you now and it's okay to let go, baby. You... You don't gotta be strong for us anymore, I'm here, I'll handle this, all right? I'll fix this. I've gotcha... You're okay," he whimpered against your forehead, pressing repeated kisses as if to distract himself from the way your life teetered on the edge. "I love you so much, Y/N. Hear me? Baby, please, I need you to know how much I love you."

"Mh," you hummed, coughing out as breath came harder, "no more... Than I love you..."

"All right, yeah, it's a tie, always been a tie," he chuckled, caressing your cheek as he began to rock. "I love you, you've done so good, baby, I'm so proud of you. I'm so fucking proud of you, my strong girl, my pretty girl," he whispered, leaving another kiss to your lips, "you did so good. You're okay now, baby, you redeemed yourself an-and you're gonna be all right. Hey, just do me a favor? You listenin'?"

"Hm?"

"Tell our girls I love 'em when you see 'em, all right? Can you do that for me? Tell our girls I love and miss 'em, yeah?"

"Mhm."

"Good, good girl, all right, you're okay. I got you, I'm right here... I'm so sorry, Y/N, I'm so sorry, I should've been faster, I should've been payin' attention - " He paused when your head lulled towards his chest, seeking warmth; so he readjusted and brought you in closer; sobbing with his forehead on yours. "Oh, my sweet girl, I'm so sorry, it-it shouldn't've been you, but you're all right - " Joel was forced to pull back when the elevated position he had set you into exasperated the wound that punctured your lung. He watched helplessly as you choked on blood, eyes widening in panic; clawing at him for reprieve, as if you knew he could relieve the pain. The blood in the snow grew darker in a larger, ever widening shape and Ellie's tears froze to her cheeks. "No, no, no, hey, hey, you're okay - you're okay, baby, no, hey - " But the convulsions that wracked your form began to lessen and lessen, eyes dimming of life, and Joel knew this was it. "I love you so much, I love you - you're okay, baby, you're gonna be okay. Ju-Just try to breathe f'me, you're doing so good, I'm so proud of you. Don't have to be brave anymore, 's almost done, I got you - I love you... I love you, mamas, so much, you did so good, I'm so proud, my beautiful girl, I love you so much, Y/N, please - I'm so sorry..." He whimpered as the movements slowly stopped to leave you petrified in his arms.

Just like Sarah.

Understanding you were no longer with him, Joel felt his panic peak; giving a gentle jostle to your form, "Baby?" When there was no response, only your absent, far-off stare, Joel begged, "Baby, hey? No, no, no, Y/N, please... Please, please, wake up! Fuck, don't do this - don't leave me, don't leave us! Fuck! What am I gonna tell Tommy, Y/N, huh? Y-You promised him... Please... Wake up," he whimpered, sobbing as he pulled you into a frozen hold; crying loudly into your neck. "I need you, please! Y/N! Come back, don't do this! I-I can't do this without you, doll, please, just - come back! It's not supposed to end this way, I-I just found you again! Please! Wake up! This is my fault - I shouldn't've - fuck! Don't leave me, not like this! Please, not like this, baby, I need you. Come back, come back, come back..."

Ellie turned away at the harrowing pleas and sobs, her stomach churning with emotion as Joel mourned his wife.

It took the better part of two hours, Ellie sitting on the track as Joel came to terms with the dead body in his arms. If anyone thought he was dead inside before, they didn't understand the meaning until now; where Joel carefully pulled her away from his form with a stream of tears Ellie feared would never end. He slowly set his wife down and backed up a foot; just trying to breathe, keeping a hand on her at all times. Slowly, Ellie stood and neared Joel's side; taking a ginger seat beside him and offering, "I-I'm so sorry - "

Ellie let out an 'oof' when Joel yanked her into his embrace, a fresh wave of tears starting when she instantly wrapped him in a hug. She inhaled shakily and clung to his warmth; the pair counting their blessings they were still alive... But at what cost? "It's like you said, Joel," Ellie whispered, "she's redeemed herself. She's safe, she's okay, she'll be waitin' for you... But we still gotta go, right?"

"We can't leave her here," Joel sniffled, pulling back to wipe his face and pinch the bridge of his nose.

"We're not," Ellie decided. "We're gonna get her home, all right? Give her a proper burial... We're not leaving her out here. Not alone." This made Joel dissolve into another fit, Ellie silently laying her hand on his shoulder in support. "Why don't we move her into town - that way, you can stay with her, where she's safe, and I'll look around for anything we can use to build, like, a sled or something?"

"N-Not alone, you shouldn't be alone. Those raiders are still out there - "

"I'd be worried, if I were them," Ellie snarled, "runnin' into me. After what they did to her... They'd wish they had more back up."

"Right," Joel sniffled, wiping his tears. "I-I didn't protect her - she pushed me out the way."

"She sacrificed herself for you - for us," Ellie nodded, repeating what she heard Tess say once upon a time, "but we can't let her die in vain, Joel. We gotta keep moving."

"Salt Lake City?"

"Salt Lake City," she confirmed; not knowing the repercussions Y/N's death would eventually have. It'd make Joel overly protective and slightly selfish - and eventually, when they got to the Fireflies, her death would make Joel so raw that he'd unflinchingly kill nearly an entire hospital of people to keep his Ellie safe. Being that she was all he had now.

But before that, while searching for material to tote Y/N back to Jackson, the raiders would find Ellie first and snatch her back to their camp. Joel, still mourning, wouldn't come to realize the girl was missing until members of the cannibalistic clan would come searching for him; a mistake none of them would come to contemplate. Fresh off of losing his beloved wife and fearful about losing his adopted child - his third daughter - his found family - Joel would naturally resort to his behaviors and tactics before Y/N began her redemption arc. His emotions were shut off, forced to leave his wife in a stranger's room, in a stranger's house, in an abandoned town, in the middle of nowhere under the loyal watch of her horse; and torture the answers out of the unfortunate raiders he chose to interrogate. There was no coming back after loss like that, and Joel was willing and able to do everything in his power to keep the one single semblance of normalcy he now knew: Ellie.

The pair would slaughter her kidnappers and escape the fiery inferno, but neither were sure how to find their way back to town; needing to move ahead towards Salt Lake City without Y/N. By the time they returned, Ellie in a hospital gown and in a stolen vehicle, Joel's blood-stained hands would wrap his wife's frozen body in a sheet and carefully load her to the truck before releasing Ajax - who had miraculously kept himself alive. Trusting the beast to find his way home, Joel began the journey back to Jackson to his brother and another empty house with a multi-colored stain-glass butterfly hung in a newly vacant bedroom window. A gift in remembrance of their lost daughters that never got the chance to be fully appreciated. When the car ran out of gas, Joel carried his wife's body, carried the golden chain the kid had latched around his neck with her wedding ring strung, and carried the weight of his sins he prayed saving Ellie could redeemed.

[ pt. 1: read here ]

[ part one: Not So Heavenly Surprise: read here ]

requesting rules and masterlist

TLOU masterlist

[kryannoy]

what's not to love about xiangli yao

genre: fluff, headcanon

character: xiangli yao

a/n: my heart was stolen and sadly enough, i'm not loyal to jiyan anymore😔

He's such a gentleman.

I can see him as someone who's really sweet and caring towards his partner.

The type that would definitely bring flowers to your first date. Then, buys different gifts that you would like once he's gotten to know you better.

He has a list of the things you're interested in based on your conversations with him—whether it'd be games, books, shows, etc. He memorizes them so he can give gifts later.

If it's not obvious enough, his love languages are gift giving and quality time.

No matter how busy he is, or how he loves to be couped up in his lab, he will make time for you.

You need him to pick you up? He's on his way. You need necessary items? He's checking out. Need cuddles and attention? Yes please, consider it done.

He wouldn't mind you coming to his workplace, he'll let you stay in the lab while he does his research.

The one time you accidentally knocked his crucible off the table your heart dropped.

He saw your scared expression—your eyes so shiny with your tears begging to stain your cheeks—but he never had the intention to yell at you like you were a kid to begin with. He knows better that it was all an accident.

He approached you and there you started rambling about how it happened and apologized repeatedly until he picked up both your hands and asked, "Are you hurt?" with the most gentle voice you've heard and a worried look. You melted!

He loves to secretly and not-so secretly take pictures of you. He has a camera specifically for you only.

He loves to make plans ahead—for tomorrow, next weekend, next month, heck, even next year and years ahead. He even slipped out his plans of getting married to you and having kids and such. Boy, you never thought it was possible to see how red he can be.

He's always so calm and keeps a cool head. Even when you're yapping about your day and such, he'll attentively listen to you. However, his habit of watching you talk always gets to you and annoyingly, he doesn't get it. His face would look so soft, his gaze is gentle and he always puts a smile.

"Don't look at me with those eyes!" "What eyes?" Definitely happened.

He just can't help it. The way you get excited, or have that angry pout, it was all too adorable for him. He's just so in love with you.

If you're the one to tease him, expect lots of stutters and blinking eyes. He can hide his blush all he wants but the sudden silence and avoiding eye contact are obvious hints he's flustered.

When you patted Xiang-LEE's head when you are fully aware that Xiangli Yao was taking control, he went speechless and stumbled with his words.

But when you patted his actual head, he malfunctioned. He could not maintain eye contact with you at all after that.

Another thing he loves is when you play with his soft hair, but he gets way too shy the whole time no matter how hard he tries to stay calm. If he feels comfortable enough to succumb to the embarrassment, he buries his head into the crook of your neck to hide his blushing face.

If you tease him too much, he might actually burst his bubble.

[peppermint-whiskers]

Heyyy!

So @emositecc made me realize that we could totally share the first drafts/snippets I wrote when we were still planning the Mind Wipe AU. Here's the first version of The Reveal(tm) as a treat ;3 Plus art by emo!!

(this is like the third snippet in the snippets doc ahdjebd)

“Why, can't you tell?” Alastor laughed. He looped an arm around Pen’s arm, which earned a flinch from the man. “Don't tell me you don't recognize him.” Charlie looked from Alastor to Pen. Confusion warred in her head—what was he getting at? “Alastor, this is our friend. What—” “And I suppose friends lie to each other.” He shook his head sadly. Pen started shaking, his eyes wide and full of terror. “I'm so sorry you had to find out this way, dear Charlie, but your friend ‘Pen’ is none other but Sir Pentious in disguise.” No. No, that couldn't be right. Sir Pentious was dead, and Pen was— But the look on his face. Utter devastation—had he lied to her? She thought she could trust him. Why would . . . ? “Liar!” Vaggie snarled. “You've got a motive for this, Alastor, I just know it!” “Ask him yourself!” Alastor exclaimed. “I'm sure he'll tell you all about it, won't you, my friend?” All eyes turned to Pen. He flinched under their scrutiny and opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Vaggie’s shoulders drooped. Charlie's own heart sank at the impending realization that one of her best friends was lying to her this entire time. “Pents is dead,” Angel snarled. “Cut the shit, Al!” He took an angry step forward, but Husk quickly held him back. If he was offended by any of this, Alastor didn't show it. “Do you remember his first reason for coming to the hotel, Charlie? He was sent to spy on us, wasn't he?” “N-no!” Pen screamed. “It's not—” “And he's doing the same thing now.” “I swear I'm not!” “He is the link Heaven needs to sink your precious hotel to the ground.” Static buzzed around Alastor, and he held Pen’s arm tighter than before. “If he can continue to get away with it, just think what the seraphim might do.” Charlie locked her teary eyes with Pen’s. “Tell me it's not true,” she gasped. “Pen—no, I don't—” “Don't believe him, please don't believe him,” Pen begged. “It's not—I’m not—” A bomb suddenly exploded in front of Alastor, one that exploded in red and white streamers. Cherri stepped forward, an angry gleam in her eye. “Step the fuck back!”  His grin widening, Alastor complied. “Certainly, but I would think I was doing a service to you.” She ignored him. Instead, she turned to Pen, who was clutching his neck with one hand and pulling at his collar with the other. “Pen,” she said, her tone lowering in an attempt to calm her boyfriend. “What the hell is going on?” “I'm—” Pen shook his head desperately. “Cherri, I can't—” He couldn't do it. Something blocked his throat—held his tongue so that he couldn't speak in his defense. And while his ears rang and his skin ran cold, Alastor continued spilling horrible lies.  He was always going to betray you, he said with a smirk. He won't even speak in his own defense because he knows it's all true, he said with the fakest sympathetic smile. Heaven sent him to spy on us, to stomp us out, he growled with a grin that was all teeth. And—and Pentious couldn't speak. He couldn't speak, and he watched with horror as the faces of his friends, of his loved ones, morphed from confusion to anger and betrayal. He couldn't breathe—he couldn't breathe— Charlie's eyes filled with tears. Cherri’s face twisted into something confused and hurt. He couldn't stay anymore— Opening a portal in a panic, Pentious ran away from the hotel, from his friends and girlfriend, from the horrible lies spilling from that horrible smile. He ran away and immediately ran into Sera. Oh, this is worse . . . He couldn't bear to look up at her, but Pentious managed to force his eyes up to meet hers. She looked angry—furious. “What. Happened?”

[alexa-yukiyu]

Could i please request a fem!child!reader who's picked up swearing with the whitebeard pirates?

Reader sorta knows what it means but also doesn't,

Also flips people off mid convo, (doesn't know what means but thinks it's funny.)

And when she gets angry/annoyed she is kinda a savage, like I can imagine reader with ace (and any other characters) then a group of pirates starts threatening them but reader is just going ham with the insults.

Puppy Escapes ( Shanks x gn!reader x Whitebeard pirates)

Part 1 ( Can also be read as a stand alone)

A/N I am combining these two requests, I kinda change some buts since I would be crushed if Dokucha actually rejected their families love so they came back with something else knstead! Iy’all seemef to like the first one so hopefully you like this one to, I think I COOKED just like Shanks is gonna be COOKED 😂

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for reader in japanese

Dividers by @/drink the sky and @/firefly-graphics

Shanks stared owlishly at the child before them, having just found them in one of the many crow-nests that composed the Red force.

"Boss, what is it?" he heard Lucky call from the ship's Deck.

"My doom," he replied morbidly, fully jumping into the crow's nest and kneeling down next to the child who had the courtesy of at least looking remorseful.

"Dokuchaaaa," he called, stretching the last syllables of their name as they noticed them trying to avoid his stare.

The child, who by now had turned into a flustered mess, both at the fact that they had been busted and that they had gotten busted by the man with whom they were infatuated.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see Mister Shanks again," they mutter.

Shanks lets out a huff but cannot help to give the child a slight grin.

"Your brothers banned you from seeing me again?" he asked, letting out a small laugh as they nodded sadly.

"You know they really won't be happy with this."

"I don't care! Big brothers were being meanies! I just wanted to see Mister Shanks, but they won't let me! I hate them!" they exclaimed

"Come on, Dokucha, I know you don't mean that, do ya?"

"No... I don't," they sniffled.

"It's okay, I know you love your brothers; they love you too. They just worry for you."

"I love them b-but I also love Mister Shanks," they called as they burst into tears and ran towards the man.

"There, There, it's alright," he whispered as he patted the child's back, calming them down as he made his way down the crow's nest, the child held tightly in his hands.

"Come on now, why are you crying?"

"B-Because I said that I hated my brothers! I didn't mean it! I love them so much!" They sobbed

Shanks let a small snicker at their troubles as he continued to rub their back.

"They're gonna be mad at Mister Shanks now, and I won't be able to see you!"

"Already breaking hearts, boss?" Yassop merrily called, letting another belly laugh as his Captain just rolled his eyes at his statement

"Listen, Dokucha, don't worry about that. We will get something figured out, but for now, how about you enjoy your time here? What do you say? Want to be my assistant today?"

They rubbed their eyes furiously at their statement, trying to erase the remains of their previous outbursts, a few rogue sniffles still escaping them, much to their chagrin.

"I get to be Mister Shanks's Assistant?"

"Think you're up for it?" he questioned, lowering them to the floor and continuing to hold their hand.

"Yes, I'm up for anything that Mister Shanks asks of me!" They happily agreed

"Hear that, Beck? I got me an assistant, and they actually appreciate me."

Said man, rolled his eyes as he shook the ashes from the tip of his cigarette, bringing it back to his lips and glancing at the pair

"Better escape while you can; that one right there is a hassle. Too high-maintenance"

"Hah?!"

"Yes, But he's a handsome hassle!" Dokucha piped back with a grin as they hugged his much larger hand against their cheek.

"O-Oi, are you insulting me or complimenting me here?!" Shanks cried

-

"Now you've done it, Akagami!" Ace growls, jumping into the Red Force, followed promptly by Thatch once it had pulled closer to the Moby Dick

"I don't care if you're my brother's savior; you're not getting away with stealing my baby sibling!"

"Now, Now it was just a misunderstanding," He calls a laidback smile on his face as the young men stomp his way.

"Like hell it was!" Ace hollers, reeling a fire-filled fist.

"Brother Portgas D Ace!" Dokucha calls, halting the man on his step

"Oh, Looks like you're in trouble now," Shanks calls, covering his snickers with his hand as the child marched to the nervous fire user.

"Don't you dare hurt Mister Shanks!"

"Why not Dokucha?! This creep stole you from us," Thatch cried.

"Because you'll damage his pretty face!"

"That's the only reason?!" Shanks exclaimed mortified

"Of course not, Mister Shanks! it's because I love Mister Shanks!" They exclaimed, running his way and attaching themselves to his leg, much to the horror of the two commanders

"I'm not sure if that makes it better," he huffs out.

"Dokucha..." Thatch cries, falling on his knees as tears begin to fall down his face comically

"I think this time my heart is really broken," he sobs.

"Hey, Dokucha, I will see you later, okay? It's time to go back now," he murmurs as he kneels beside the kid.

" B-But I don't want to leave Mister Shanks," They cried, their tiny hands clenching into fists as small tears began to pool at the edge of their eyes.

"I will see you again, okay? I think your brothers really need you now."

"They need me?" they questioned, glancing at the irate Ace and a still knelt Thatch.

"Of course, they need someone to keep them in line, think you can do that? It's your next task as my assistant."

"Leave it to me, Mister Shanks!" they exclaimed, wiping off their tears as a determined look appeared on their face.

"Atta Kid," He cheered, rubbing their head.

"I will see you soon, okay?"

"Like We will let that fucking happen" Thach growls pulling out his swords

"Alright, enough of this," A voice cuts in

"Akagami, please return our sibling to us, Ace; Thatch, we're done here," Marco orders as he lands on the ship's bow, causing the Red Force to sink slightly, bouncing back to the waves as it tried to withstand the sudden arrival.

"Ah, Marco, it's not too late, you know; how about you join me and bring your sibling with you."

"Screw off, Red-haired," he answered scowling as the Captain just sent a grin his way, giving his last goodbyes to the small kid as they ran to the Chef, who hugged them tightly, rubbing their cheeks together ask he continued repeating how much they missed them as he made his way back to their galleon.

-

"You are grounded."

"But Papaw!" they whine, looking up at the old giant.

"Not buts. You are grounded for a week, and that is final. For the following week, you will be accompanied by either me or one of your brothers at all times."

"But that's so fucking unfair!"

"..."

"..."

"MY BABY, they tainted you!!" Thatch cried, shaking the child with tears cascading down his face

"Brother Thatch?" they question, confused, their mind becoming dizzy at the motion.

"Stop it, you idiot," Marco called, hitting the back of Thatc's head, causing the latter to release Dokucha only to turn to him with a scowl.

"Damn you, Marco! Let me lament myself; they have tarnished their pure heart," he cried, throwing himself on the ground once again.

"...I'm going to kill him. I am going to roast him alive and give the fishes a barbecued meal of a lifetime," Ace growled.

"What the hell is going on?" Dokucha cried.

"Dokucha, stop," Marco called a stern tone in his voice.

"You brat, where did you learn those words from? Was it from Akagami's crew?"

"Ah? I heard Mister Shanks say those words-

"Ace. Let's prepare for that barbecue. I will have them fillet for this," The Chef murmured, a dark aura surrounding him.

"But since Big Brothers say them a lot, I thought it was okay..."

"..."

"Dokucha, who exactly did you hear say those words?" Whitebeard asked, a glare in his eye as he questioned them

"Big brother Thatch and Big brother Ace!" they cheered.

"..."

"Dokucha. Will you go find Vista for now? Do not leave his side; you are still grounded, Marco called, watching as they stomped off with a pout on their face.

"Assholes," They mutter.

"Keep it up. You just earned another week of being grounded," Marco called.

"But Brother Marco, I don't know what words I can't say!"

"We will continue this discussion later. For now, if you don't know what it means, then you don't say it understood."

"Okay.." they mutter, walking away to find the swordsman.

"Marco, make sure you have the clinic ready," Whitebeard called as he glared down the two wide-eyed and sweating commanders.

"Will do pops."

"Ah-wait..wait a second Pops-

That day screaming and pleas for mercy from the two commanders reverberated across the sea, reaching the ears of the Red Force vessel as they departed from the Moby Dick's location.

"Hmm, looks like that old man found out who was responsible for the child's colorful language," hums Shanks as he leans back on the chair he laid on, downing a cup of sake as he did.

Here we go! Guess Shanks is not the only one getting Cooked! Good thing they have a express healer on watch! Thatch and Ace will definitely need them!

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 3 (Azriel's Version)

Part One , Part 2

AN: "Majesty, Palo is exhausted. Because Majesty only Palo can take this (angst) and this (groveling) and give you...a masterpiece."

No fr guys I put my whole puss into this plz tell me if you liked it

check out my masterlist

Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 

Warnings: angst, fluff like so much fluff, no editing (I'm so tired omg)

Word count: 9,370

We arrived in the house in silence, the only thing to fill the void was the crackling of the enchanted fire that always sprang to life whenever I walked through the door. My eyes were fixed on the floorboards, studying every grain of wood as I put together what had just happened. 

I had told Azriel about the bond, and I did it in anger. I had imagined telling him a million different ways over the past 400 years but never did imagine doing it out of spite. I was just so angry with Elain and her insufferable entitlement that had me seeing red. If anyone should act in such a manner, it should be me, I was a princess after all. 

I was furious with Elain there was no doubt about that, but the voice that kept echoing in my mind was Azriel’s. How he yelled at me. I had known him my whole life and I had never once been afraid of him, until today. 

As if he was tired of the silence, Lucien brushed his hand under my chin bringing my gaze to his, it wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, brows furrowing at my tear stained cheeks. 

“Yeah,” I laughed him off, wiping the water from my face. 

“I’m sorry I interfered like that, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to speak to him or if you wanted me to kick his ass. But he seemed mad and I wouldn’t stand for him yelling at you.” Lucien apologized leaning against the back of the couch a good three feet away sensing I needed some space. 

“I suppose that I wasn’t sure what I wanted either,” I sigh leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you for stepping in. I think it was for the best.” 

“Of course, I’ll always be there for you,” Lucien nods before resuming his staredown with the floor, probably trying to make sense of everything just like I was. “Az seemed…concerned for you. I think the bond snapped for him.” 

“It did,” I say, running my hand over my chest, as if I could touch the faint glow of the bond that now sat in my chest. “It clicked the moment he saw us in the kitchen.”

“Are you happy it clicked?” he asked, once again asking all the questions I truly didn’t have an answer for, at least not yet. 

“I-I’m not sure.” I say honestly, knowing I didn’t need to hide my true feelings from Lu. “I’ve pictured him finding out a million ways, but over the last couple years I’ve kind of given up on the whole endeavor. I felt like I made it clear that I liked him, and he only met me with complaints about other women. First Mor and then Elain.” 

“Maybe he’s changed,” Lucien pointed out. 

“Even if he had it’s not because he loves me.” I murmured sadly. “You heard him in there. He only wants me because he feels entitled to me. He never once acted like he cared about me beyond being his best friend's little sister.” 

“I suppose you’re right, it’s hard to forgive 400 years of cruel behavior,” Lucien muttered, still staring at that little spot on the floor. 

I strode across the room and leaned against the couch with him. I wanted to say something, anything to break the silence. But it was as if all the air had been sucked from the room in one foul swoop. I had just let out a 400 year old secret and for the first time ever, our mates seemed to give a damn about us. I look to Lucien who is still processing everything and I recall how Elain was so upset to see her mate with another female.

“Elain…” I started, wanting to tread carefully. “She seemed pretty upset,” I said, only stating the obvious. 

Lucien chuckled, “Yeah, I think that’s the first time she’s ever called me her mate.” 

“And how do you feel about that?” I ask wanting to give him the same room to speak that he gave me. I knew if he didn’t feel like sharing he wouldn’t, Lucien was no pushover. 

“I feel strangely happy,” he says and for the first time since we got back his lip curls into a half smile. “I think that she might be willing to give me a chance.” 

My heart warms at the idea of Lucien finally getting to have a chance with his true mate, “I’m really happy for you Lu,” I smile, patting his hand that sat on the back of the couch. 

He snaps out of his trance, “that’s not to say that you’re not- you’re a wonderful woman y/n-” he rambles. 

“Hey, HEY!” I shout getting his attention. “I’m happy for you Lucien. You deserve this,” I laugh at his attempt to not hurt my feelings. 

“Thank you y/n,” he smiles, grabbing my hands and squeezing them. 

“What do we do now though,” I sigh looking at his family ring on my finger. 

His eyes flit to the ring as well as his thumb brushes over it, “We continue on as normal, we can push back the wedding. I’m not confident in what Elain wants from me at this point and you clearly are at odds with Azriel. If things don’t work out…” he trails off thinking about hsi next words. “If things don’t work out I would still be honored to have you as my wife. I still feel like we could make eachother happy.” he says earnestly. 

I look into his eyes of russet and gold and see that he truly means every word, “Okay,” I nod my voice barely above a whisper. 

“Okay,” he agrees, keeping his voice down as well. “Shall we head to bed?” he asks. 

“We shall,” I laugh, following him up the stairs. 

That night we didn’t make love, we cuddled as normal though, but somehow even that felt wrong, now that the bond I prayed over for so long hummed within my chest.

 While the little High Lord in training was typically quite docile, he had just learned to crawl and had begun flapping his little wings, which meant trouble was becoming the new normal. Which is exactly what had happened today…

“Nyx no!” I shouted as he reached for a heavy book on one of the bookshelves, his tiny wings helping him to gain the extra inch or two of ground he needed. 

I grabbed him from underneath his shoulders and brought him into my arms, bouncing him on my hip as his eyes caught the shiny necklace I was wearing. His little hands grabbed at it and I figured it was better than a vase or another heavy book. 

“Just wait till he can actually fly,” Lucien chuckled, coming up behind me.

“That won’t be for quite a while thankfully,” I laugh, bouncing the babe up and down.

“Are you so sure about that? Cassian seems to already be giving him lessons.” he points out. 

“I don’t even want to think about a flying toddler,” I scoff and Lucien chuckles behind me. 

 He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I could feel his lips curling into a smile.“You’re going to be a great mother one day” he admitted. 

“I’ve always wanted children,” I said and a beat of silence passed until I decided to be bold. “Lu, do you think we could ever have children?” I ask, afraid to turn around and possibly see a wary look on his face.

I felt Lucien’s chuckle reverberate behind me, “Of course, I’ve always been fond of children myself,” he laughed. 

I whipped around with Nyx to search his eyes for a hint of uncertainty, but he seemed happy about the idea, “Really?” I asked in disbelief. 

“Of course,” he assured me. 

“I want a million just like little Nyx here,” I smile looking at the babe in my arms. 

“Minus the wings of course,” Lucien laughs behind me and I pause. 

My entire life I had always pictured my children with wings. Small, delicate little things that I would ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over.  I remembered seeing the Illyrian children in Windhaven growing up, I was always so happy when mothers would let me hold their babies, their wings so adorably small. I looked forward to having winged children of my own, I always pictured them scaling Azriel when they were little like Nyx, and as they got older I would watch as Az taught them to fly.

“What is it my dear?” Lucien asked, breaking me out of my trance. 

“Oh it’s nothing, it’s just that when I pictured my children I always figured they would have wings,” I say, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s temple. 

As if summoned, Azriel walked in, Rhys and Feyre in tow, signaling that their meeting was over. His eyes flitted to me, no doubt having heard what I had said. Lucien’s hand tightened on my hip.

Feyre’s eyes sparkled at the sight of her son and Rhys eyes sparkled at the sight of Feyre taking their babe from my arms. I reluctantly gave Nyx back, already missing being able to pretend he was my own. 

“He was a little angel,” I report to Feyre.

“If by angel you mean hellion,” Lucien chuckles behind me. 

“I would expect nothing less from a child raised by this family,” Rhys laughed, wrapping one arm around Feyre and brushing a hand against his son’s cherub cheeks. 

A silence rolled over the room as we all watched the little family reunite. I couldn’t help but flit my eyes to Azriel, who looked at them with a grin and a longing in his eyes. His eyes find me and I don’t dare look away. 

“Can we talk?” Azriel asked timidly, taking a step away from the doorway he leaned against. Feyre and Rhys take out of the room, no doubt feeling the change in the atmosphere.  

I searched his eyes for a hint of aggression but all I found was remorse, “Yes we may,” I say quietly.

Lucien releases his grip on my hip as I follow Azriel into Rhysand’s study and close the door behind me with a resolute click signaling that I was locked in here with him. Az takes up residence by Rhys’ desk, leaning against it like some sort of tortured man. I couldn’t help but notice he was still in his fighting leathers, his wings tucked in tight and his knuckles perched over his lips, like he was contemplating what to say. Even now, when he was at his most vulnerable, he was so beautiful. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I yelled at you and I shouldn’t have,” he says fidgeting a bit. “Its just… it’s just that I was so pissed when I found him with his hands all over you and you just seemed so happy.” 

He sighs running a hand through his hair staring at the ground, still unable to meet my eyes. 

“I think that’s what bothered me the most,” he continues. “You seemed…happy.”

“You were upset because I was happy?” I scoff furrowing my brows at him, the fucking gall of this male. 

“No, no! Gods y/n,” he corrects me, running his hands down his face clearly upset with himself. “I think I was upset because I wasn’t the one making you happy.” he finally says and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice. 

I’m completely taken back by his words, at the fact that he admitted that he wanted to be the one to make me happy like that. The way Lucien did. It didn’t make any sense, given the fact that he never showed me in the last 400 years. 

“That’s funny coming from a male who’s been complaining to me about the females he’s been in love with for the past 400 years.” I deadpan, crossing my arms. 

“Is that how long you’ve known? 400 years?” he asked me, voice rising a bit. 

I nod, “I knew the night you danced with me on solistance in the Hewn City all those years ago,” I confess. 

“Fuck y/n,” he groans running his hands down his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Because you started panting after Mor and the second you gave up on her in walked Elain!” I shouted, it was the most obvious thing ever as to why I didn’t tell him. 

“You had to know that you were first,” he says, snapping his head up to meet mine, pleading in those hazel eyes. 

I gave him a blank stare not knowing what he was talking about. 

“Please tell me you know you were the first, before Mor, before Elain, I was practically on my knees for you,” he confessed. 

Once again I’m left speechless. Could it be true? That he had wanted me before I even knew about the bond? 

I shook my head, even if it was true he was speaking in past tense. I didn’t want him to be my mate because he felt like he had to be, I wanted him to love me, truly love me. I wanted him to choose me.

“I had no idea,” I admit feeling a bit of shame. “But that doesn’t matter anymore, it’s all in the past. I’m not mad at you Azriel.” 

“Thank the cauldron,” he breathes, crossing the room to cup my face.

I place my  hands on his wrists and pull them away from me, “Az I think that you should be with Elain,” I say, stepping back from him. 

“What? No.” he shakes his head and I take another step back.

“You clearly love her and she loves you, the cauldron made a mistake by making us mates, it's as simple as that,” I say trying to hide my tears.

I loved Az, a part of me always would, but I wouldn’t be his consolation prize just because the cauldron fucked up and made me his mate instead of Elain. I couldn’t live with that. 

“No don’t say that, please don’t say that,” Az pleads, his voice softening. 

“I’m sorry Azriel but I won’t be your consolation prize,” I say before grabbing the door handle and walking out into the living room where Lucien was. 

Azriel goes to say more until he hears the hitch in my breath. There, before me, Lucien is tucking a stray hair out of Elain’s face and placing a kiss on her knuckles. A sweet gesture, one I’ve probably read about a thousand times in my romance novels. Lucien’s eyes flit to mine, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen him so happy. 

“We’re going to give it a shot,” he smiles happily, putting an arm around Elain. 

“Really?” I ask looking to Elain who smiles brightly. 

“Yeah we are,” she says smiling up at Lucien. 

“Oh I’m so happy for you two,” I cheer before engulfing them both in a hug. 

“Congrats you guys,” Azriel mutters from behind me, seemingly abandoning whatever he was going to say to me in favor of praising his friends. 

Lucien chuckles at my excitement, “Don’t get too excited, we’re going to have to move my stuff out of your place today, I think it’s time I move back into the townhouse,” he smiled. 

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s get started!” I cheer, grabbing his hands to winnow us away. 

In reality I wasn’t excited about the idea of moving, and much less excited about the idea of my little townhouse being empty again. But I needed to get away from Azriel. 

One week later:

After the all day affair of moving Lucien’s accumulated stuff out of my house and in the townhouse I was back to loving alone. Which at first wasn’t terrible. I was content to read my book and cook for myself when necessary. But after about a week I began to miss the food Lucien would make, or having someone to lie next to. It was a strange feeling, it felt like a breakup, but I wasn’t sad. I missed having another heartbeat in the house, not Lucien himself. 

After a week of getting my affairs in order my brother finally asked me for some help and I was thankful for the distraction. All week I had been in my own head about all that had happened, with Lu and Elain, with me and Az. I needed a break to think of something else. 

That’s how I found myself slipping on an old day court dress and getting ready to winnow to see Helion, an old friend of mine. I was leaving the house and locking the door when I ran smack into a large chest I screamed being taken off guard. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” a familiar voice apologized, I turn to find Azriel standing before me. 

“It’s okay, I should’ve been paying more attention,” I chuckle awkwardly. I hadn’t heard from the spymaster in a week, why would he come to talk to me now?    

Azriel’s eyes furrow from where they tower over me, “Why are you dressed for the Day Court?” he inquires. 

“Oh well,” I look down at the swaths of white fabric that cascaded down my body, suddenly feeling a bit exposed from off the shoulder dress. “Rhys wants me to go and schmooze Helion a little bit. Something about wanting to get him to agree to better trade deals.” I laugh remembering how my brother agonized over it the other day. 

“So he wants you to go and flirt with Helion?” Az cocks an eyebrow at me. 

“Well Helion and I go way back, and he’s always been…well keen on me.” I say honestly and I watch as Az bristles just a bit. I can’t even count the number of times the High Lord as tired to get Cassian and I in his bed

“I’ll give Rhys one thing he sure is ruthless,” Azriel chuckles trying to play off his nerves. 

“Is there something I can do for you?” I ask, still wondering why he’s here, at my doorstep. 

“Oh uh, no,” Azriel stutters. “Well actually I was walking by and I saw this and I thought of you.” he says pulling out a white rose. It looked like he had plucked it right off the bush down the street. “I thought you should have it.” he finished. 

I take the rose from his hand and notice that the thorns have all been cut off. I eye Truth Teller strapped at his side and the lingering thorn that was still stuck on its sharp blade. 

“That was very thoughtful of you Az thank you,” I tell him sweetly, taken back by his gesture. 

“You’re welcome,” he says, seemingly relaxing at my acceptance of his gift. 

I check my watch, “Well I really do have to go, Helion is waiting for me,” I wince moving past him on the stairs so I can get past the words my brother has on my place. 

“Yes of course,” Az says following me down the steps and out the wrought iron fence. “Do you need a ride?” 

“I’m okay, I can winnow,” I chuckle, closing the gate behind me. 

“Well I guess I’ll see you later then,” Azriel voices with a hint of a sigh. 

“Yeah I’m sure you will,” I reply before winnowing into Helion’s mansion. 

How could Az be so calm about all this? It was like he was trying to force himself to have feelings for me, figuring he better learn to love me now that he’s shackled to me for eternity. Part of me wondered if Rhys had given him a firm talking to and convinced him to attempt to like me.

“There she is,” Helion mused from the top of the stairs coming down the stairs dressed in his usual attire. Part of me hated that I found him attractive, in another life, if he wasn’t so promiscuous, I might’ve seen myself standing by his side. 

“Helion,” I smile, pulling him in for a hug. 

When we pull away his hands linger at my waist and his eyes look at the rose in my hand. “What’s this?” he asks plucking the rose from my hand. 

I think about the encounter with Azriel, how forced it all felt.

“It’s nothing,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. 

Helion tosses the flower aside before throwing his arm over my shoulder and leading me inside, “So, your brother has sent you to convince me to agree to his new trade agreements.” he smirks.

“He’s done nothing of the sort, I came to visit an old friend of my own accord,” I tease, knowing Helion isn’t as daft as Rhys makes him out to be. 

“We’ll see about that new treaty after some wine, and tell your brother that next time he wants to use you against me as leverage he should just send you naked,” Helion chuckles. 

I erupt in laughter, slapping his arm as he leads us to a white couch with a bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table. 

Three days later after successfully getting Helion to agree to a new trade treaty I found myself sitting in my living room with a glass of wine enjoying the fruits of my labors. As soon as I told Rhys about the High Lord of Day’s cooperation he sent me one of his finest bottles of wine as a thank you. Not that I required any thanks, I enjoyed spending time with Helion. 

My silence was interrupted by my door opening and closing. I just about jumped out of my skin, the only one who had the key to the place was Lucien and he had given it back a long time ago. My heart pounded as I stood from the couch in my nightgown and robe. I had turned in for the night and certainly wasn’t expecting visitors. I lift my romance novel over my head and step around he couch ready to swing when I see Azriel locking the door behind him quietly. 

“Azriel you scared the hell out of me,” I sigh, lowering the book. 

He turns from the door looking me up and down taking in my casual attire hungrily. “I’m sorry I guess I’m just used to walking right in, I wanted to give you these,” he says holding out a large bouquet of white roses, exactly like the kind he gave me the other day.”

“Thank you Az, they’re beautiful,” I say wearily, taking them from his scarred hands. “I’ll uh- I’ll just put them in water,” I tell him, padding into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it. 

“I thought since you liked the other one I gave you that you might like those ones too,” he says walking into the kitchen and leaning in my doorway. 

I place the two dozen roses in a vase,“Well I appreciate them, it’s been a while since I’ve had fresh flowers in the house,” I divulge to him, remembering how Lucien used to bring them home all the time. He would always ask for Elain to make him a bouquet, his little way of speaking to her in a way that didn’t make her uncomfortable. The thought had me thinking of how Lucien and Elain were probably sitting at a nice dinner right now, had me questioning why the fuck Azriel was here. 

A silence fills the room as Azriel sits admiring either me or the flowers, from where I’m standing it could be either or. I walk around the kitchen island to test the theory and sure enough his eyes follow me as I lean my back against the side closer to him.  A wave of embarrassment slips over me. Did Rhys ask him to bring more flowers again? Was I really that pathetic? 

“Az why are you doing this?” I ask, gesturing to the flowers behind me. 

Azriel straightens taking a tentative step towards me, “Because I want what Elain and Lucien have. I want you to give me a chance to be a good mate,” he says softly. 

I look to the wooden floors below me, my bare feet messing with a loose floorboard, “You don’t have to do this Azriel. If Rhys sent you I’ll just cover for you and say you came.” I say not daring to look at him. 

“I’m not here because of Rhys, I’m here because I want to see you,” he implored and I heard his feet shuffle closer. 

“I’m still not your consolation prize just because Lucien and Elain are doing well. I won’t do that to myself,” I say, continuing to mess with the loose floorboard. 

“You’re not my consolation prize y/n, you’re my mate.” Azriel states, his voice becoming more urgent causing me to tighten my arms around myself ever so slightly. 

His boots come into my line of sight and suddenly he’s titling my chin up to meet his pleading gaze. I’m suddenly all too aware of how underdressed I was. There was a time when I would’ve killed for this. But now? I won’t let myself be hurt again.

“Y/n please-” 

“Azriel I’m at peace,” I snap, cutting him off and looking down at our feet once again even though his hand still rested under my chin. “For the first time in 400 years I’m at peace. I have loved, and pined, and thrown myself at your feet for 400 years, and I am finally happy in my exile. So forgive me if I’m hesitant to give that up so quickly because you all of the sudden want a mate.” I bit out.

His shadows dance around my hands and I move my fingers out of their grasp, like their cold kiss was burning me.I wait for him to say something back, for him to breathe wrong, yell at me or leave but he doesn’t move. I let my eyes flit up to his, and I find him staring down at me, like he’s been waiting for me to look at him this whole time. 

“I’m not going to give up,” he states, if he was sad or upset by my previous words he doesn’t show it. 

I sigh, tossing my head back, “Az please,” I beg. 

“No I’m serious, I’m not giving up on you, on us,” he maintained steadfastly, his hands not leaving my cheek as he steps even closer to me and my back hits the cool granite behind me. 

“Azriel I think you should go,” I grit out, the second my body stiffens under his he steps back giving me my space. 

“Alright I’ll go,” he says, taking a step back.

I follow him to the door and hold it open as he steps out into the cool night air that has me wrapping my silk robe around me tighter, as if it was helping anything anyways. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me before shooting off into the sky. 

“I really wish you wouldn’t!” I shout into the air after him before slamming the door and locking it. 

I take a deep breath once I’m seated on my couch again, trying to salvage any sort of peace I might still have. But that tranquility was disappearing in my hands the more I chased it. 

The following day I head to Rhys’ house to talk over the new adjustments in the Day Court trade agreements. It was supposed to be easy enough, but as things got more and more complex it ended up being an all day thing. By the time I walked up the steps to my own townhouse I was exhausted and starving. I wasn’t looking forward to bread for dinner as I had no time to go to the market today. 

I kicked open the door and locked it behind me, the smell of fresh tomatoes and basil wafted through the air causing me to pause in my tracks. Was Lucien here? Had him and Elain gotten in a fight or something?

“Ah shit!” I heard a male cuss followed by the searing of liquid on a burner. 

I curiously walk around the corner of the kitchen where I’m greeted with the sight of Azriel, standing in my apron, reading my cookbook and stirring some sort of sauce. His shadows were helping him turn the pages of the book. I see the spilled sauce on the burner that was the cause of his profanity just moments ago. 

“There you are,” he smirked, his eyes flitting up to mine before reading the book again. 

“Az what are you doing here?” I ask, setting my bag down on the table. 

“Making you dinner,” he said, gesturing to the numerous used pans and utensils lying around my once clean kitchen. 

I walk over to inspect what he’s cooking. Fresh herb crusted chicken cooks in the pan next to him while he stirs a red sauce. In the sink is cooked pasta sitting next to freshly sauteed green beans. I inhale the smell of the food deeply and I can’t help but feel myself salivate a little, it smells delicious. 

“You always dog ear the recipes you want to try but you never make them for fear of not liking them,” he says nonchalantly as he prods at the chicken. 

I look down at the cookbook he’s reading, sure enough the recipe he’s making has a bent corner. I had been itching to try it but had never found the time. 

“If you end up not liking it there’s take out from Rita’s in the ice box,” he said using the spoon to point to the ice box in the corner of the room.

I look up to fully inspect him. This all feels like a ridiculous practical joke. If someone had told me that my spymaster would be cooking me dinner I would’ve laughed in their face. Upon further inspection I realize he’s shirtless, save for my apron he’s wearing. 

“Was the half nudity necessary?” I cock an eyebrow leaning against the counter. 

Azriel barked out a laugh, “It took me a while to find the apron, I had gotten tomato juice on my shirt when I started chopping them up for the sauce so I took it off and washed it,” he explained the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “Plus I figured the whole shirtless bit might win me more brownie points with you.” 

I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, I didn’t dare let him know how right he was. 

He laughed at my reaction, “Why don’t you go sit down, dinner’s almost ready.” he said gesturing to the couch. 

I shrugged my shoulders and padded my way over to my favorite reading spot. The one he found me in yesterday. I plop down on the velvet sofa and there in front of me on the coffee table, my book has been left open to the place I bookmarked and a glass of wine sits for me. I raise an eyebrow but decide to just roll with it, I pick up the book and sip on the wine, becoming engrossed with the story.

A few minutes later I feel the cold begin to bite at my toes. I look around for a blanket and see that the nearest one is across the room. I curse at the idea of having to move, but before I can even set my book down one of Azriel’s shadows is scurrying across the room to retrieve the knitted blanket for me. The wisp of darkness arranges the blanket neatly over my legs, tucking me in like a mother would her child.  I can’t help but laugh at the care the little thing is putting into the job. 

Azriel’s shadows looking out for me was nothing new, the second the bond clicked for me they tended to stay near me. Picking up pens and silverware I dropped on the floor and always twirling around my hair and wrists. There were even times they would try to drag Az near me, like on starfall and solstice, nights I looked especially beautiful. But he would always curse and wave them off until they left him alone. 

The little shadow perched itself on my shoulder as if it too wanted to read my book. I could sense it was trying to anticipate any other small need I might have. 

“You know he might be insufferable but you guys are pretty great,” I laugh looking at the curious being. 

In response the shadow boops itself on my nose as if it was giving me a kiss. 

“Don’t tell them that or they’ll get a big head,” Azriel murmurs behind me where he’s leaning against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, still shirtless and wearing that damned apron.

“In that case I’ll be sure to praise them more often, they’re little angels,” I smile as the tendril of darkness dances around my collar. 

Azriel lets out a small chuckle behind me, “Dinner is ready,” he tells me before disappearing into the kitchen once more. 

I follow him as the small shadow frantically pulls at my wrist towards the table, as if it’s eager for me to see what it helped its master cook. When I walk into the darkened kitchen and find that Az has set the table not only with our dinner but with candles and another bouquet. This time it’s an arrangement of jasmine, no doubt from the florist down the street. 

I sit down and inhale the heavenly scent of the white flowers and hum in delight. Azriel comes in with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring us each a bit. He sees me admiring the flowers and smiles. 

“Jasmine, like your perfume,” he says, putting down the bottle and taking his seat next to me. 

I smile and look down at the plate before me. It looks delicious, the pasta is fragrant with basil, the chicken is cooked to perfection and the green beans are vibrant and green. I lift my fork and dig into the past first. The moment it hits my tongue the flavor melts in my mouth, rich, bold and oh so savory. I let out a moan as my eyes flit to Azriel who is watching me expectantly wondering if I’m going to like it or not. 

“This is incredible,” I say, covering my mouth with my hand so he doesn’t see me chewing. 

“Thank the cauldron I thought I put too much red pepper in,” he breathes out, seemingly relaxing before digging into his own plate. 

“No it’s perfect, thank you really,” I say earnestly. 

“You’re welcome,” he smiled, taking a bite of chicken.

We sit and eat our meals in silence simply enjoying the good food. A little shadow flitted up in front of my face to gauge my reaction to the bite of chicken I was chewing. I couldn’t help but laugh as it shifted like it was cocking its head at me. 

“Yes it’s very good, you did a wonderful job,” I laugh at the little fella. 

My giggle brings Azriel’s attention to me once again and before I know it he’s waving his hand at the little tendril like he’s swatting a fly. 

“Hey go away let her eat for the love of god,” he chastises as the shadow slinks back behind him. 

“Don’t worry it wasn’t bothering me,” I laugh taking another bite of green beans. 

“Yeah well they haven’t been listening lately,” he says looking back at the little shadow that had slinked behind his shoulder like a reprimanded child. 

I shake my head at the two of them interacting and take another sip of wine. To be honest I wasn;t really sure what to say to Azriel. Despite his valiant efforts to win me I still wasn’t ready to abandon the peace I had grown so fond of. 

“You know it’s funny,” he tells me, playing with the food on his plate. “I feel like my shadows have always liked you. It was like they knew before I did,” he laughed nervously at his confession. 

“Maybe so,” I shrug, not wanting to broach the subject, the friendlier we could make this the better.

“I can remember times when they would drag me into any room that had you in it. Most of the time I control them, but when it comes to you? They control me.” he laughs while taking a sip of his wine. 

“Thank you again for dinner,” I say, forcibly changing the topic of conversation. “It’s been a while since I had a home cooked meal. I think the local restaurants have my to-go orders memorized now.” I laugh. 

“Lucein used to cook for you didn’t he?” Azriel asks, and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head as I play with the pasta on my plate. 

“Yeah he did, he was a surprisingly good cook too,” I say, recalling the traditional Autumn Court meals he would cook all the time. They were mostly for him, for when he was feeling nostalgic, but he always left some for me as well. 

Azriel sits for a moment as if debating whether or not to say something for a moment. “Did you love him?” he asks. 

My fork clatters to the plate at the abrupt question and I’ve never felt so put on the spot. It was never something I had thought about in regards to the autumn court male. Love seemed like an emotion  that would be reserved for Azriel and Azriel alone, until one day it wasn’t. I didn’t love Lucien, but I certainly stopped loving Az in that way, or at least I think I did.

“No I didn’t” I say honestly turning to meet the shadowsingers gaze. “Lucien and I… it was never like that. We both knew what we needed for each other, it started as just sex. But then he would stay the night, and then we started going to breakfast. His shirts started showing up in the laundry hamper, his books on the coffee table. Eventually I just gave him a key, it seemed like the logical thing to do. We didn’t even label our relationship until he asked me to marry him.” 

“I wasn’t sure,” Azriel said, going back to shyly staring down at the table. “I overheard your conversation that one day. When you asked him about the possibility of having children. You said that you always pictured your children having wings, was that true?” he inquired. 

I nod shallowly, unable to trust my own words in such a raw moment. 

If Az had any other questions he didn’t ask them or press me to talk about the two of us, it was as if he was happy with the answers I did give him. He was perfectly content to let me finish eating my meal in comfortable silence. When I was finished he cleared the table and didn’t let me lift a finger to help clean. Instead those pesky shadows cornered me into reading my book once more. 

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that he came in, dressed in his shirt once more to bid me goodnight. He insisted that I stay in my comfortable spot by the couch as he walked himself out locking the door behind him. As the comfortable silence, which I had grown so used to, ensued, I found myself silently wishing he had stayed just a little longer.

The following weeks were spent with little visits from shadows and shadowsingers. Sometimes it would be Azriel showing up at my door with coffee or gifts. Other times, when Rhys had Azriel on missions he would find ways to leave things at my doorstep. The first time it was another bouquet of flowers and then chocolates. 

My favorite gift from Azriel had been the books. The first set he got me was the second and third book in my series. They appeared at my door the morning after he made me dinner with a note that read…

I noticed that you were almost done with your book last night so I went out to get you the second book. I noticed it was a short book so I got you the third in case you finished it in one day like you no doubt will. 

-Azriel

Of course he was right and I finished the second book by the end of the day. When I opened the third, and much longer book, to begin reading it a bookmark fell out and another note. 

I figured you might need a bookmark for this one.

-Azriel

He was right about that as well. 

The next book to be delivered was a classic romance with certain pages, and quotes underlined. His notes scribbled in the margins. Clearly he had taken the time to read the novel himself. When I saw the first annotation I expected his further notes to be corny or cheesy, but each one was well thought out. 

The most recent literally delivery was a small and short book about different types of flowers. Between each of the pages sat a live flower that corresponded with the page. It was possibly the most vibrant and beautiful bouquet I had ever seen and by far my favorite floral gift I had received. 

This week though things had been different. As the colder months were drifting in I started spending more time inside, reading by the fire. But not once had Azriel stopped by. Not a present, not a note to be found. When I subtly asked Rhys were the shadowsinger was he told me he was in the isle of Hybern. 

A week had come and gone without so much as a tendril of a shadow to be seen. I sat infront of my roaring fire with a book in hand trying to escape the bitter cold. Outside the first snowfall of the year had taken the form of a blizzard. I pitied the shopkeepers that would have to walk home in it. 

Around midnight I heard the scraping of metal against stone from outside my house. I jumped out of my skin and quickly looked at the clock noting the late hour. I set down my novel to wrap myself in a blanket and pad over to the front door. I could already hear the winds outside and feel the cold air seeping in through the cracks in the door. 

I open the door to investigate the strange sound and I nearly gasp when I find Azriel outside my house shoveling my walkway with a small shovel from my garden. One meant for digging out plants and trees, not snow. 

“Az what are you doing?” I ask, making the spymaster jump a bit. 

“I’m shoveling your walkway. I didn’t want you to slip tomorrow morning or hurt your back trying to shovel it yourself,” he said, digging into the snow again with the little metal shovel. 

“Oh Az you don’t have to do that,” I coo walking out into the cold pulling my blanket tighter. 

“I don’t have to but I want to,” he said shoveling more snow. “It wouldn’t take so long if I had a bigger shovel.” he grunts, frustrated.

“Well why didn’t you take Rhys’ shovel?” I laughed watching as the overgrown Illyrain tried to mangle the tiny thing. 

“Well I just got back from Hybern, I saw it had snowed and I came here first.” he explained and my heart swelled. He had come to my place first before he even went home. “I figured if I didn’t do it you would fall and break your head open.” 

“Azriel, really you don’t have to do this, I can handle it,” I plead with him feeling bad that he’s subjected himself to the weather. 

He stops his shoveling and turns to look at me, “y/n I want to do this. Don’t worry about it.” he says before looking me up in down seeing that I’m in nothing but a short nightgown and a blanket. “Now go inside before you catch a cold.” 

“Me? What about you?” I laugh looking around at the snow falling around us. 

“I’m Illyrian the snow doesn’t bother me,” he retorts and I can tell that he’s lying by the pink in his cheeks from the cold.

“Well I’m half Illyrian,” I counter, swinging back and forth on my heels. 

“Then I’m sure half of you is really cold,” he rebuttals. “Now go back inside and get warm before I carry you inside myself.” he smirks before shoveling up another heap of snow. 

I just shake my head and retreat to the warm fireplace awaiting me. 

I waltz into the House of Wind  where the Solstice party is in full swing. Lords from neighboring courts are chatting and drinking all around and from the corner of the room I can hear Cassian’s booming laugher as he doubles over at something Helion has said. 

Like almost every solstice party I arrive fashionably late. I truly never mean to be the last to arrive, but it feels like the whole guest list decides to arrive early just to spite me. I make my way around the area where couples and children are dancing to a small quartet and head toward the bar. My dress billows behind me like liquid starlight. Just like every solstice party before this one, I will get by with copious amounts of wine. 

I lean against the bar and watch as Elain and Lucien laugh and giggle across the room. I smile as Elain pops a pastry into Lu’s mouth and I can’t help but feel a warmness in my chest at the two of them. Lucien was finally happy with his mate, and if there was ever someone who deserved such happiness it was him. 

My thoughts are interrupted by a shadowy friend making its presence known. Flying up by my face to say hello and then rushing behind me as if it was called. I turn to see Azriel dressed immaculately staring at me. His eyes flit up and down my body taking in every detail of me.

“You look…” He trails off, shaking his head, as if the words he was going to say wouldn’t be the right ones. “There are no words. Even the poets would get it wrong.”

I can’t help but blush at his choice of words, taking a step toward him as the shadows behind me are pushing me to do so. 

“You clean up pretty good yourself, spymaster,” I chuckle giving him a once over.

He blushes and then speaks again, “I mean it, you look beautiful tonight y/n.” 

I blush again and turn my head to avoid his gaze, like that shade of hazel might burn me from the inside out if I look too long.

“You must allow me to dance with you,” he says, taking both our drinks and placing them on the bar. “Not having you out on that dance floor would be a disservice to everyone here.”

I laugh taking his outstretched hand and allowing him to lead me to the dancefloor, “Alright Az you’ve convinced me, but only because I know you won’t step on my feet,” 

We fall into a comfortable motion, swaying back and forth to the slow tempoed song the quartet is playing. The couples around us filter around us, some lost in deep conversation, some embraced closely swaying to the song. I keep my eyes on them, knowing that Azriel’s gaze is on me. 

Memories of a solstice much like this one float through my mind. The way my feet ached before Azriel saved me, sweeping me up into a dance. The way the bond felt when it snapped into place for me. I had pulled on it so desperately hoping he might feel it too. I thought of all the years of agony that followed that night. Watching Az fall for Mor and later on Elain. Hearing my brother and Cassian talking about Azriel’s exploits in bedding local women. All of it tore me apart and it took over 200 years to rebuild the part of me that I had lost. I wondered if I would ever be whole like that again. 

I hear Elain and Lucien’s laughter once more, the sound breaking me from my thoughts as Azriel and I continue to sway to the music. 

“They make a great couple,” Azriel’s deep voice rumbles through me. 

I smile watching Lucine place a kiss to his mates lips, “They really do,” I say with a lightness to my voice. 

“Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” He asks tentatively and my world comes crashing down. 

“Az,” I say and his face falls at the dismissal in my tone. 

“Why not y/n? Why can’t we have a shot like they can?” Azriel says starting to get upset.

As if on queue the song that the quartet is playing ends and I hear the musicians flipping through their sheet music to find the next song. I pull my hands out of Azriel’s and take a few steps back.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” I say calmly, trying not to let the damn of tears break. I swiftly move past him towards the door. 

“Y/n wait!” I hear him call out behind me but I’m already out the door, my tears falling down my face as I make my way back to that empty townhouse in the middle of the city. 

The rain outside my house slams into the window violently. Spring has come early in Velaris and I wasn’t exactly upset about it. At least I wasn’t until this torrential downpour blew into town. I hadn’t seen rain like this in the Night Court for at least a hundred years now.

It’s been weeks since solstice and it seems that Azriel has finally taken the hint and left me alone. I hadn’t heard a peep from him since that dance. Not a flower, chocolate or shadow to be seen and while I should be happy about it I had never been sadder. After all the walls I put up trying to keep my peace it seemed that he had succeeded in breaking them down again. 

I sat by the fire staring down at the dancing flames, no book, not even a glass of wine or tea. Just me and my all consuming thoughts. Each one of them led back to hazel eyes and blue siphons. 

I jump at the sound of a fist pounding on my door. Pulling my sweater tighter to cover up my nightgown I walk over to investigate who would have the guts to stand out in this monsoon at this hour. When I open the door I find Azriel bracing his arms against the doorframe, out of breath like he ran here. His hair soaking wet and sticking to his brow as the rain pelted him. 

“Az?” I shout over the sound of rain. 

“I can’t go on like this any longer y/n, I won’t do it!” he shouts over the storm. 

“Az it’s pouring what are you-” 

“I love you y/n!” he shouts stopping me mid sentence. “From the moment I met you I knew. I wanted so badly to put my hands around your waist and kiss you. And if you’re wondering why that seems like such an adolescent dream it’s because that’s what we both were. I was 117 years old and  you were 115 and that’s all I wanted. I knew little of love, even less of lust. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss you,” he hollers over the sound of rain wiping the water from his eyes.

“I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve hurt you, but I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, because I love you. And I don’t care that you don’t love me too, because I love you y/n. I choose to love you!” he finishes and I can’t tell if it's rain falling from his eyes or tears that match my own. 

I choose to love you.

I take a shaky breath and take in the sheer desperation on his face, “I love you too Azriel,” I laugh feeling another tear slip down my cheek. 

He doesn’t waste a moment, stepping through my threshold and cupping my cheek to place a searing kiss on my lips. I melt into him, feeling his clothes soaking my own as my nightgown clings to my skin. His hands are on my waist, scarred and cold from the elements but still so intoxicating. My arms wrap around him pulling him further into the entryway. I hear him slam the door shut with his boot drowning out the sound of rain leaving only the music of our ragged breaths as he kisses me deeper. 

He pulls away to press his forehead to mine, his wet hair and skin causing drops of water to cascade down my own face. 

“I love you so much,” he breathes cupping my cheek to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “My mate.”

I pull him in deeper at the utterance of those two little words. I had waited 400 years for this male to kiss me, and this kiss right here? Well it made everything all the more worth it. 

Epilogue: 5 years later

I stand outside on the lawn of the townhouse. My arms clutching around the sweater I’m wearing as the fresh spring air blows over my skin. My hands drift lower to the small bump of my stomach. 

I was only a few months pregnant and barely starting to show. Elain had told me that it would be a girl claiming she had seen it in a vision. I couldn’t have been more excited for Azriel to be a girl dad. 

“You’re doing it son!” I hear my mate call from the sky where he teaches our son to fly. 

“Dad, I'm flying!” the onyx haired child shouted as he flapped his wings to pick up some speed.

At first I was apprehensive of him learning to fly so early, even though it had always been a dream of mine to watch my children learn to fly. But Azriel had assured me that the youngster was more than ready, and after a few weeks of lessons here he was taking to the air like a natural. 

I look around at the townhouse behind me. It had seen some significant changes since the night Azriel stood in the rain and told me he loved me. The front yard was littered with toy swords and shields, and the outside had a fresh coat of paint. The inside had a room addition, a room for our son, Kai, and now we're adding another room for our daughter. All paid for by Rhys of course who was more than happy to give his nephew and niece everything under the sun.

My thoughts are interrupted by Azriel slamming into the ground before me. I turn to see him walking over to me with a smile on his face. 

“Az shouldn’t you be up there with him?!” I fuss looking to where our son swoops and dives through the air. 

Azriel laughs and picks me up bridal style, pressing a kiss to my lips. 

“It didn’t feel right being up there without my girls,” he smiled nodding to my bump. 

Without warning he took off into the sky meeting Kai up there. We must’ve spent hours flying around the city, stopping by every uncle and aunt's house to show them Kai’s new skill. Everything was perfect, and for the first time in my whole life, I finally knew peace.

(Do you guys want a smutty bonus chapter of what they did after he confessed his love???)

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[gothsoyl]

┊┊┊⁺ ⁺ DECEMBER CHALLENGE

"One drop" caitlyn kiramman x vampire!reader word count: 1,2k summary: you're a vampire and you're struggling with your hunger. you try to suppress it, but it doesn't work out so your girlfriend, caitlyn, is having an idea.

You've been starving for days and your mind was burning from how much you needed blood. You could literally feel your body changing under the onslaught of hunger: your veins become larger, your cheeks sunken, and your eyes filled with something red – the very blood that you missed so much. 

But you didn't want to feed on people like vampires did – the last time ended too sadly and you just ran away in fear, leaving the bloodless body of some young girl lying in an alley.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, and you were shaking with simultaneous self-loathing and a sense of pleasure that was spreading through your veins. You didn't see yourself as a human being at that moment – just a monster that took lives. 

You were disgusted with yourself and you still couldn't calm down – you didn't even go home to spend the night, where Caitlyn was waiting for you. You knew it was stupid, but you couldn't look her in the eye, knowing what you'd done. You didn't want to lie, you didn't want to hide what happened.

And Caitlin wouldn't stay if she found out what you did to the poor girl.

And you couldn’t blame her, right?

But now the situation has changed – you were in physical pain and your body required blood. Every person you passed by stopped being human to you – just a walking jar of blood that smelled so appetizing... you were sick and your mouth was filled with saliva from the very thought of how your fangs would enter their neck and…

No! Enough!

You shake your head, trying to get rid of obsessive thoughts, but they only get louder. 

You don't remember how you ended up near her house, but your legs are carrying you closer. You don't want to go – Caitlyn will be there, angry and disappointed. You haven't been home for a few days, of course she was worried, but that's not the most important thing.

You're afraid of losing it. You're afraid you won't be able to resist hurting her. You know that once her scent reaches you, no feelings will hold you back. But you can't turn around and go back – something is pulling you home.

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you still slowly climb up the building right onto your balcony. The bright light from the window immediately makes you squint and bite your lower lip – you see her and your heart sinks into your heels.

You have to leave. Right now! Why can’t you just leave?!

You take another step, your legs are shaking, but you try not to pay attention to it. You want to unlock the balcony door as quietly as possible, but your hand slips off and a nasty clacking sound is heard throughout the room, making Caitlyn jump out of bed.

“You!..” you literally feel with your whole body how angry she is and how she wants to vent all her resentment at you, but she stops talking before she even starts. Her eyes widen in shock when she notices how terrible you look – those black circles under your eyes, emaciated appearance and shaky legs that barely hold you up. 

Caitlyn hesitates at first, but quickly runs up to you, trying to grab you so that you don't fall off mentally. You're just trying to push her away, but you don't even have the strength to do so.

“What happened to you? Where have you been?!” she speaks through her teeth, but you can feel her fear and nervousness. She places her hands on your face, trying to look at you, “where have you been? Answer me now!”

“I'm fine,” your voice is hoarse and quiet. You cough and look away, trying not to think about how nice her skin smells. You can literally hear her heart beating and the blood flowing through her veins. You swallow loudly and barely whisper, “I'm very hungry...”

Caitlyn freezes for a moment, just looking at you, as if trying to figure out what you even said. You're already ready for her to kick you out, that she'll say that you look more like a monster than her girlfriend, but she doesn't say anything. 

You're already praying for her to say at least a word.…

“Drink my blood.”

Your eyes widen in surprise and horror. You can't believe that she would suggest such a thing to you. And you’re disgusted with the thought of drinking her blood yet…

You immediately try to pull away from her, shove her in the chest and a whine comes from your lips. 

“Don't... go away, Caitlyn...”

You shouldn't have come here... you knew it was a bad idea.

Caitlyn holds you tightly and tries to hold you closer, you feel the tears begin to sting the skin of your cheeks, but you can't help yourself.

“Don't...” you hardly believe yourself when your eyes fall on her neck and you freeze, you can't take your eyes off. 

“Yeah, I'd rather watch my girlfriend slowly die,” she snaps, but you don't hear a shadow of anger in her words – only worry and uncertainty. You swallow and feel your fangs start to hurt unpleasantly, and your body is drawn to her, “drink.”

You try to close your eyes, but even so you can hear the blood in her body… so loud. You can already imagine this metallic taste on your tongue…

In the end, Caitlyn grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you towards her, and all your self-control disappears in an instant.

With a low growl, you dig into her neck, biting through an artery, and your fangs easily enter her delicate skin. Caitlyn screams, but immediately bites her tongue, trying not to make any noise while you drink greedily.

You wrap your arm around her waist, your cold body pressed against hers. You close your jaw with even more force, and with your free hand you slide under her shirt, your claws scratching her soft stomach.

You need more. Your whole being screams that you have to dry her to the end, but a voice, somewhere deep in your mind, screams that you need to stop.

You close your eyes tightly and stop only when you feel her body begin to go limp in your arms.

“Hush... shh,” you whisper to her so softly that you're not sure if you said it out loud or if it's some noisy thoughts. You gently stroke her back, burying your face in her neck and gently licking the remnants of blood from her wound, trying to somehow smooth out the pain that you caused her, “I'm sorry... everything will be fine.”

You feel a lump of shame in your throat, but your body relaxes slightly when she puts her hand on your head, running her long fingers through your hair. She's whispering something to you, trying to calm you down, but you can barely make out her words. Her heart is still pounding in your ears.

“Look at me,” you blink a couple of times at her surprisingly firm words, and slowly pull away from her neck. You meet her gaze, noticing how tired she looks.

“I'm sorry...” you say again in a barely audible voice, but Caitlyn only smiles faintly, touching your cheek and tracing a contour with her finger from your cheekbone to your chin, along which her blood is still flowing.

“It's okay,” she nods and pulls you closer, gently kissing your bloody lips.

[oizysian]

Heyy bestie

Can I request a Mommy!Lizzie x fem!reader where we make plans with her for lunch but her work schedule makes her miss it, then reader gets really sad and pouty and spams her phone but Lizzie doesn’t answer. And when she finally comes home she comes back with flowers and then makes it up to us with the strap and js some lovely sex🙂‍↕️

I’ve js been in my feels lately and want mommy to make it better 🙈

Tonight | Elizabeth Olsen

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: strap use, dirty talk

Word count: 1.2k

AN: I’m sorry you’ve been in your feels. I hope this makes you feel better. (I also want mommy Lizzie to make things better.)

I looked at my phone for what felt like the hundredth time, checking to see if my girlfriend messaged me back. She was twenty minutes late already. I knew she was busy with work, but she could at least text me, right?

I sighed softly, placing my phone down on the table and finishing my drink. This wasn’t the first time I’d been stood up by her and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last.

I couldn’t be too angry with her though, she got worked like a dog and I’m sure it wasn’t her fault that she had no time to herself. If she wasn’t on set, she was giving an interview and if she wasn’t giving an interview, she was doing a photoshoot - there was literally just not enough time in the day for her to do it all and be with me.

I stood up from my chair and began cleaning up the unused dishes from our lunch. I didn’t know why I thought today would be different. I sighed sadly, pushing back tears as I placed my wine glass in the sink, placing the plates back in the cupboard and the forks and knives in the drawer. Hopefully she’d be home for dinner.

I picked up my phone from the table and messaged her again, hoping I’d get a text back before long. Or a phone call.

But I heard nothing. Throughout the rest of the day, I occasionally sent her a message, telling her I missed her and loved her and that I hoped she was having a good day and not working herself too hard.

Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for her to come home. I was woken up by the sound of keys jingling in the door and I rubbed my tired eyes, looking towards the front door where Lizzie was coming in from. She entered and closed the door behind her quietly, trying her best to not be too loud. What time was it?

“Hi, baby,” she greeted me softly, kneeling down next to me on the couch. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you.”

She handed me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and I teared up looking at them.

“They’re beautiful.” I sat up and took them from her. “Thank you.”

“You deserve them. I’ve been a horrible girlfriend, but I’m gonna make it up to you.”

I smiled at her, sniffling softly at her words.

“You don’t have to. Just being here with you is enough.”

“It’s not.” She said, resting her hand on my thigh. “We need to spend some time together and I’m hoping you’ll let me make it up to you.”

Her hand trailed up my thigh, soft, lingering touches just barely reaching my core. My breath hitched and I took my bottom lip between my teeth, a pink hue coloring my cheeks. It had been so long since we’d been intimate, I almost forgot what her touch felt like.

She leaned in towards me, slowly, barely touching my lips with her own, as if she was nervous to be kissing me. I kissed her back, letting her know it was okay. She smiled against me and her thumb rubbed against my mound gently, just barely touching me.

“Lizzie,” I whispered, looking up into her beautiful green eyes. “I missed you.”

“I know, dove. But, I'm here now. I’m gonna take care of you.”

She stood from her crouching position and I followed her, standing up from the couch and taking her hand, placing the flowers on the couch before letting her lead me to the bedroom.

She wasted no time in undressing us, her eager lips still capturing my own in heated kisses. Her hands caressed my hips, pulling me close as she removed our clothing. When we were both naked, she stopped to admire me, making me blush a fierce red.

“You’re so beautiful.” She whispered and I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her neck softly.

“Let me taste you.” I kissed and nipped at her, her groans egging me on further.

“Not yet.” She said as she ran her hands over the swell of my ass, grabbing at me greedily. “I wanna be inside you.”

Heat rushed down between my legs, and I could feel my slick coating my inner thighs.

She smiled down at me and led me to the bed. I climbed onto it and got comfortable while she dug through our sex toys drawer, searching for just the right strap.

She pulled out a nice, girthy pink cock, one of my favorites, and slipped it on. She stroked it a few times and I licked my lips in anticipation. She got on the bed and spread my legs, settling between them. I raised myself up on my elbows to watch her as she slapped the cock against my slit, sliding it between my folds and letting it get wet.

“I can’t wait to be inside you.” She murmured to herself, thrusting the cock up against me.

I bit my lip and moaned as she continuously hit my clit, my hips rising slightly to meet her thrusts.

When she was satisfied, she slipped the tip into my aching cunt and let out a soft groan.

“Look at that greedy pussy. You take me so well, baby.” She said under her breath, sliding into me inch by delicious inch.

“Ah, Lizzie.” I whined, my brow furrowing as I watched her.

She kept her eyes on my pussy, watching as I took her hungrily. I fell back on the pillows and grabbed the sheets underneath me, my eyes rolling back as she finally bottomed out. I felt so full of her, so deliciously full, as she slowly fucked me.

“That’s right, baby. Take mommy’s cock.”

“Unh, m-mommy,” I let out a soft whimper and she groaned, pumping in and out of me. “Harder, mommy.”

She leaned over me, kissing me roughly as her hips moved against mine rapidly. She swallowed my moans, sucking my tongue into her mouth and biting down on it gently.

She pressed her forehead against mine, gasping for air as she fucked me roughly. She couldn’t get deep enough inside me and I couldn’t get enough of her trying to reach my deepest spot.

“I love you.” She moaned softly, looking into my eyes and I nearly cried at the sound of her voice. She sounded so sincere, so passionate.

“I love you.” I said back to her, kissing her fiercely.

I bit down on her lower lip as my orgasm quickly approached. Just being close to her was getting me off. The base of the strap rubbed against my clit and pushed me over the edge.

I moaned into her mouth, wrapping my legs around her and pulling her close as I came. She didn’t even have to touch me for me to cum.

“Already, baby?” She whispered against my lips and I nodded sheepishly.

She let out a soft chuckle, slowing her thrusts as I came down from my high.

“Can I taste you now?” I asked softly, wanting so desperately to please her.

“Tonight is about you.” She kissed me again and my heart swelled with love. “I’m gonna take care of you all night.”

[magicalrocketships]

Rivers of Light || Max/Daniel || part 10 ||

(reminder that this in its entirety contains mpreg, reference to giving birth, Max Verstappen's bad dad, past abuse, and on-track accidents.) Cyril's hot wife remains made up (I mean, she may be hot in real life but I don't even know for certain if she exists, therefore this version of his hot wife remains made up).

All previous parts can be found in the masterpost here. This chapter is on AO3 here.

Max hasn't had many people be kind to him since he crashed out of Formula 1. He'd forgotten how it had felt.

Part 10

Bastiaan falls asleep in Cyril's arms after dinner. One minute he's frowning up at him, and the next, his little eyes are closing and he's falling asleep right where he's tucked up against Cyril's chest.

Max contains his jealousy well. Bastiaan's never fallen asleep anywhere other than with him. This whole trip has been full of new experiences for his baby, and he must be very tired. Max would like to fall asleep too, but he hasn't slept through the night in a long time. He's used to it by now, but even being used to it doesn't mean he doesn't wish it was different sometimes. 

That he could, just for once, put the weight down. 

He and Daniel don't stay long after Bastiaan falls asleep. It's late anyway, but his baby stays mostly asleep through having his little hat and sleeping bag put on him, and his mittens tucked down over his hands. He stirs as he's put down in the carrycot, but he's asleep again after Max has shushed him, moved the pram back and forth to rock him a little as Daniel says goodnight to Cyril and Sephine before they turn their attention to Max. He gets kissed on the cheek by both of them. Cyril says he will call when Max is back home, and Sephine says they'll have to have Max and Bastiaan to stay when Max is next in Paris. It's nice. It's kind. It's a lot. Max hasn't had many people be kind to him since he crashed out of Formula 1. He'd forgotten how it had felt. 

It almost makes him want to cry. 

He doesn't. 

He's not sure he can anymore. 

&&&

Bastiaan wakes up an hour after they get back to the hotel, which is about half an hour after Max has passed out in the big bed with the carrycot next to him. When he'd gone to sleep, Daniel was still awake, scrolling through his phone with the lamp on by the little bed under the window. He had refused to let Max sleep there. But when Bastiaan starts to cry, the lamps are off, and Max tries to keep it that way in case Daniel can somehow sleep through his tiny, tearful baby making his feelings known. 

He's not a happy baby. Max cycles through the things he knows to do: nappy change, trying for a feed, nappy check again, a little playtime with his giraffe and his rattle, but Bastiaan doesn't want or need any of it. He's miserable and fierce about it, red cheeked and angry, little cries that tear Max's chest in half. He sadly accepts a feed after about half an hour, and that keeps him quiet for a while, but the moment Max tries to put him back down in his carrycot he's crying again, the saddest baby that anyone has ever seen. Max wants to cry too. He's so, so tired. He hates Bastiaan being so unhappy and not being able to tell Max what he needs. He hopes babies don't get nightmares. Bad dreams are awful enough when you're old enough to understand them. Max kisses his little flushed cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, little baby," Max says, over Bastiaan's exhausted sobs. "I know we're not at home. You've met all these new people today and I think everything smells funny and you don't know where you are. You've been very brave and now you don't want to be anymore, do you? You just want to be asleep but you don't know that you have to stop crying to get that, because you're only little. Such a little baby, my baby Bastiaan." He kisses his hair. Cradles him close. "We're not alone like normal, my baby, and it's not just me you're keeping awake. You made a new friend today, didn't you? And I think he'd like to go back to sleep now. Can we let him? Can we just go to sleep, baby?"

"It's okay," Daniel says finally. "You can put the lamp on. I'm awake."

"I'm sorry," Max says. He sounds desperate because he is. He's so tired. "I don't know why he's so upset. I can't make him stop."

"He's a baby, I think," Daniel says. He switches the lamp on. Sits up and swings his legs out of bed. He's in a t-shirt and his boxers. He'd still been dressed when Max had fallen asleep.

Max is topless because he'd fed Bastiaan, and part of him wants to cover up. He wants to shut that voice down inside of his head that's his dad, that's telling him to be ashamed of feeding his baby, but he's too tired to fight it. He cradles Bastiaan to his chest instead. Kisses his head. 

Daniel looks at him. "Max," he says. "Come on. Take a break. Why don't you give him to me for a few minutes. Go and wash your face or have a shower or something. You look wrecked."

"He's crying," Max says, trying to shush his distraught, exhausted baby, but Max is so, so tired. "I can't leave him."

"You can," Daniel says. "I'm assuming you don't have help in the middle of the night normally. Just let me help this time. Take a break. Go on. Have a shower or something."

"I don't want a shower," Max says. He wants his baby to go to sleep. 

"Honestly," Daniel says. "Give him here. Just for a few minutes."

Max finds himself holding out his baby for Daniel to take. He doesn't want to trust anyone with Bastiaan, but he needs to pee and it would be nice to do that just once without holding a baby in the middle of the night. A shower would be nice too, but it's not shower time. He lets out a ragged, desperate breath.

"Take a shower," Daniel says, as he rocks a crying Bastiaan, cradling him close. "Go on. I'll call if I need you."

"I'll be two minutes," Max says, staring longingly at the bathroom. Back at his tearful baby.

"Take five," Daniel says. "Push the boat out."

Max takes four. He comes out with his underwear pulled back on with a fresh pad inside, and a towel around his waist. His hair's wet and Daniel had been right, it had been good to stand under the hot spray for a minute. Breathe. Bastiaan's still crying but it's not as urgent as it had been before. He sounds so, so tired. Such a tired little baby. 

Daniel's got his phone in one hand and Bastiaan in his other. He's playing a soft little video of baby lullabies and water sounds with a slow animation of little twinkling stars accompanying it. He looks over at Max and winks. Bastiaan's eyes are starting to droop, but he's still crying. He's trying to chew on his fist. 

"Does that mean he's hungry?" Daniel asks. 

Max nods. He holds his hands out, but Daniel shakes his head.

"It's okay. Get into bed and then I'll hand him to you. Do you need anything?"

Max has his water bottle by the bed. He's okay. He drops the towel on the floor and gets into bed. He beckons Daniel over with his baby. 

Daniel tucks Bastiaan carefully into Max's arms, then makes a big show of getting the pillows from the other side of the bed and putting them behind Max to prop him up. It is more comfortable, but it's okay. Max was coping. Bastiaan doesn't need much help latching on, and for a moment there's quiet except for the soft sound of Daniel's lullaby video and Bastiaan's sleepy little sucks. 

"I'll leave it on," Daniel says quietly. "I think it helped."

Max nods. He's so, so tired. 

Daniel takes Max's water bottle and goes to refill it in the bathroom. He brings it back, then goes back into the bathroom to pee. When he comes back out, he sits on the end of Max's bed, by Max's feet. 

"You okay?" Daniel asks. 

Max doesn't shake his head. He hasn't been okay for a very long time, but he's holding on. He's holding on so tight it's making his fingers bleed. 

"I'm fine," Max says. He doesn't look away, not until Daniel does. 

"Think he'll fall asleep?" 

Bastiaan's eyes are already drooping. Max strokes his cheek. His lovely little baby. 

"Yeah," he says. "At some point."

"You're doing great, you know. He's perfect."

Max has been lying for such a long time. One more won't hurt. 

"Everything is good," he says. "Go back to bed."

"In a minute," Daniel says. "When he's sleeping."

They sit there, quiet in the middle of the night, until Bastiaan falls asleep. 

Max looks away first. 

[llamagoddessofficial]

Now for some angst, what happens when the Bad Sanses accidentally hurt their SO?

teeeeheeeeee

Horror is, sadly, likely to accidentally hurt you. So long working for Nightmare means he forgot how to hold himself back; a lot of his forgotten gentleness comes back instinctively for you but instinct and love only do so much when his body is the way it is. His teeth catch on your lips if he misaligns a kiss, overly excited cuddles can leave bruises, a touch he intends to be tender will cut if he holds his claws the wrong way. It tears him up. He feels so big, so heavy and stupid, fumbling around and hurting the fragile thing he loves most.

You're always telling him that it's okay. The injuries he gives are very minor, they're getting fewer and further between as time goes on and he gets better at managing his strength. But nothing completely soothes him. He has vivid nightmares about accidentally killing you.

Dust is, surprisingly, the least likely to hurt you out of all of the bad guys. He has an excellent level of self control - not to mention his constant face of neutrality, you're famously the only thing that makes this frighteningly powerful creature emote. He moves slowly, thoughtfully, even at his most emotional he restricts his affection to avoid scaring you. A possessive arm around your waist, a slow nuzzle when he's feeling sappy, a claw under your chin to tilt your face up for a surprise silent kiss. You're the only thing he wants to feel for.

Being the least likely to hurt you means he'd have a particularly hard time if he did after all. Especially if it's bad. Dust can be difficult, sometimes, and hurting you makes him completely shut down, withdrawing for fear of losing his last loved one. He'll need time and patience to come back around again. All this LV, all this power, and it's only your forgiveness that can stop him from feeling so small.

Killer is a good boy. Unlike the others, who are all angst and nooo get away from me i'm too powerful, Killer's pretty much entirely at peace with what he is. He's at peace with his feelings too. He doesn't really need to do a lot of self control like the others, he's very relaxed. Everyone who has to put up with him will definitely attest to the fact that he doesn't bother controlling himself. Nightmare will ask you to come over when Killer is in one of his dangerous frenetic moods, because as soon as you're around, all of Killer's energy immediately diverts into trying to get your attention in any way possible.

If he does hurt you, he'd handle it so normally that it seems weird compared to the other bad guys. Profuse apologies, a bit of pretend grovelling. He might 'die of guilt' too (laying flat on the floor until you've stopped laughing long enough to tell him to get up) so be sure to forgive him ASAP.

Nightmare is a proud creature, you won't hear an apology. Gods don't beg.

... Just because you won't hear the apology doesn't mean you won't feel it in the air, though. You can tell he's angry with himself... he's stiff, he's quiet, he avoids eye contact at all costs. What kind of pathetic King thoughtlessly harms his most beloved? He's uncharacteristically meek for a long while; he'll linger in the room with you then vanish without speaking, leave gifts at your door without facing you, field vague questions about how you're feeling then fall quiet again. You can tell he's desperate to be forgiven, but can't bring himself to ask.

Just assure him. It doesn't need to be with words. It could be a loving smile, a squeeze on his arm, a hand on his cheekbone. After that, he can return to normal.

[wingedjellyfishflight]

The Couch

Your official job is as a psychiatrist, but not a single one of the men who visit you care about that. They don't care about you at all. They just want... your cozy damn couch. Every time you walk in the room, there is a big burly man sleeping or lounging on it. Rarely, it is a woman. This time, there are three of them fighting over it. You sigh and submit a request for three more couches. When the supply officer asks why, you claim it is for group sessions. He sends one couch over. It is almost as comfortable as the original, and they take to it quickly.

You stop in your tracks the day you spot a KorTac man sitting nervously on the couch. So far, only Price's team and his associated strays have taken advantage of the open couch. You smile briefly before moving to sit at your desk.

"I'm here if you want to talk, but the couch is open to whomever wants a nap or to relax. No talking required." He nods, slightly more relaxed, and you focus on your computer. When you look up later, you see he has laid down and fallen asleep, his soft snores filling the room. After that, you send in another request and another for more couches and a couple of reclining chairs. You are denied. They tell you to just bring in folding chairs. You decide to use your paycheck and bring in something more comfortable than folding chairs.

The next week, you are struggling to get a reclining chair down the hall as silently as possible when you freeze, a chill running down your back. Turning, you see Ghost standing only a foot away, silently watching with his arms crossed.

"I got a new chair." Your bright smile seems to just bounce off his broad chest, but you pay no mind to him, turning back to the task at hand. You get a few feet further and glance back to say something witty, but Ghost is gone. Another few feet, and you are bodily lifted by a set of strong arms before Ghost and König pick up the chair and carry it to your office with no effort. You thank them and ask if they would be willing to help you with one more thing since they are here. Rolling their eyes, they follow you.

Proudly, you show them the three large boxes that you bought. The men are not amused. Their body language switches from annoyed to almost angry when you pick up one of the boxes. König nearly tears it from your hands, and Ghost swiftly grabs the second box. Holding up your hands, you wait until they storm inside to pick up the third box and follow them.

It takes most of the day for the stuffing in the giant floor pillows to fluff up from being vacuum packed in the boxes, so you take the time to rearrange the room. The next day, opening the door after lunch, you spot no less than ten men and one woman lounging in various spots around the room.

A few weeks later and Soap asks if you can requisition another chair because he is annoyed that Captain Price is constantly snoring away in the only one. You shake your head sadly.

"Sorry, bud. I can't get another one for a while. Too expensive." He nods but puzzles over your wording for the next few days before filing it in the back of his mind.

It takes another couple months for you to save up, but you do bring in a second chair. Soap nearly dances when he sees it.

"I tried to ask supply for one of these for my office, but they had no idea what I was talking about."

"Oh, they wouldn't. They deem my request too frivolous every time." You tap away at the computer, only half paying attention to Soap.

"Then, how did you convince them?"

"Didn't. Had to go get it myself." The silence that falls over the room is far more tense than usual.

"You, you bought these for us? Like with your own money?" You sigh. Here is the conversation you were hoping to avoid. Turning to Soap, you see every person in the room staring at you, trying to work out what is happening.

"Yes, of course. Nothing but the best for my patients. I am the psychiatrist for KorTac and 141, after all."

"What?! We just, we thought you were just an officer with a comfortable couch. But you're a god damn psychiatrist?!" You can see several edging toward the door, nervously.

"Yep. Ghost, please wait just a moment." He hesitates with his hand on the doorknob. "Think about how long you've been napping in here. Have I ever overstepped? Four years I have been assigned to the 141, and not once have I updated your files. Luckily, I can claim patient-doctor confidentiality, or I would be out of a job."

"So, you haven't been doing your job at all?" This comes from Captain Price, who looks confused.

"Oh, I have been. If you don't mind sharing, what is the thing your last psychiatrist kept trying to force you to do, Captain?"

"Fuckin golf. Claimed it would be a good stress relief like I want to be a lazy damn officer."

You nod and glance around. "Ghost, what was your recommendation?"

"God damn yoga." You hear Soap snort and give him a small smile.

"Mmhmm, not something I imagine you would ever be interested in. And you König, if you don't mind?"

His voice is quiet but strong, "Guided meditation."

"Every one of those is rooted in the idea that you need to rest. My job was to find a way to make it happen, and I wasn't keen on being stonewalled and hated by the people I work with. So, I left the door open and passed a rumor around that there was a mythical comfortable couch. Sort of a build it and they will come." You pause and gather your courage. "As I have said from the beginning, talking is optional. Naps and resting are welcome. That's the way it will stay as long as I am here."

Turning back to your computer, you submit another supply request, worded slightly different from the last. A bigger office for more group sessions so both teams can be present. The silence in the room is less tense, but you don't look up from your screen, not wanting to see how many left, knowing who you are now. To your surprise, when you stand up to stretch, every spot is still occupied.

The next week, you get your denial and an inspection scheduled as you haven't been logging apppointments since posted there, and your constant requests have been noticed. The stress shows in the tenseness of your jaw and the furrow between your eyes, but you don't say a word to anyone.

The day of your inspection comes, and you brace yourself for invasive questions and the likely anger from whomever shows up when you refuse to answer those questions. You hint three time and then outright tell the lounging men to leave just minutes before the scheduled appointment, frantically trying to tidy up and make it look like you have adults as patients instead of sleep away camp.

"What is goin' on, lass?" Soap asks lazily from the floor pillow he refuses to vacate.

"I- I have an inspection, like right now." That gets their attention.

"Och aye! We will clear ou-" A knock at the door interrupts him. You take a deep breath, forcing your emotions under a smile.

"Enter." A man confidently walks in, faltering when he sees so many eyes on him.

"I am here to inspect your work, Captain. You were informed as to the time?" Standing, you salute him, then motion him to one of the seats.

"Yes, my apologies, Lieutenant Colonel. This group session ran a little late. If you could excuse us, everyone. We can pick this back up tomorrow. Hopefully." They all stand and salute the Lieutenant Colonel before walking out. He stalks to the chair in front of your desk.

"You will be lucky to make it to the end of the day if I have anything to say about it. You have clearly squandered resources buying all of this furniture, and there isn't a single update to any personnel files. Your explanation better be damn good, Captain."

You meet his gaze squarely before answering. "I am assigned to a unit whose work is often above top secret. I do not take notes on what is said in this room. I have found that doing so makes patients uncomfortable and, therefore, less likely to relax."

"That doesn't explain why you are not charting recommendations." You lean back and pull out a paper from a drawer.

"These are the recommendations previously listed in the files of various patients who are now under my command. Almost all of them fall into the same category: relax. So when I reviewed the files, I notated in the general team file for The 141 that relaxing activities would be undertaken as needed. The KorTac file gained the same note when they were switched to my purvue. There is no need to update individual files when I do my utmost to only hold group sessions, again for comfort to the patients."

He sits back, clearly not convinced, but at least pondering it a moment. "Why did you have KorTac transferred to your care? They were previously under another, frankly more competent, psychiatrist."

"Was that psychiatrist able to get them to open up? Honestly, I am curious if the team even showed up to their sessions by how sparse their files are. Colonel König has been here for six years, and his entire file is less than a dozen pages. The same could be said for nearly all of the KorTac team. There are notations in most of these files that KorTac and The 141 can not be in the same room for more than five minutes at a time without fighting. Yet nearly every day members of both teams are here for upwards of an hour a day, and they haven't had any fights outside of here in months." You snap your jaw shut, noticing the slightest of movement behind the Lieutenant Colonel. You stand and salute.

"Corporal, you've already saluted me. Sit down."

"She is saluting me, not you, Lieutenant Colonel." Colonel König salutes you back as the Lieutenant Colonel grouses about being interrupted before he turns and pales. He hurriedly stands and renders his own salute, which is returned with deliberate slowness.

"Colonel, if I may?" At his nod, you continue. "I did not mean to speak so flippantly of your records. I should have guarded their contents more closely. You have my deepest apologies." His eyes lock with yours, and you could swear he is either smirking or smiling.

"It is of no consequence. I am glad to know that you feel such concern, despite the public nature that such personnel files often suffer during inquests such as these." He pulls up another chair from who knows where and sits just behind the Lieutenant Corporal. "I will monitor to ensure sensitive information about need to know operations is not disclosed."

You nod, "Yes, Colonel. Understood."

The Lieutenant Colonel shifts uncomfortably with the gaze at his back. "Circling back to my first concern. The wasting of British coffers on unnecessary seating is clear gross misconduct. You will need to return all except for the standard single couch immediately."

"Yes, Lieutenant Colonel. When can you send supply over to fetch the other couch?" He looks surprised, as though he expected more of a fight.

"I will have to confer with them to see when they will be able to take so many large items."

"Hmm? Oh no, only the two couches, desk, computer, and the chair you sit in were issued. The rest I brought in at my own expense to better facilitate having over a dozen soldiers and officers in here at the same time. I do ask to keep the original couch. It is the only one long enough to fit many of the men I treat." He looks shocked.

"You furnished the rest?" You can see him fighting not to look around at the room, hand fidgeting on the desk.

"Of course. Patients come first in my care. Every request I have put in has been denied since the second couch. The number of patients I see has more than doubled with the strays that Captain Price and Colonel König have dragged with them into my office. We are running out of time today. Would you like to meet again next week, or do you have the information needed to close out this inquiry?" The Lieutenant Colonel seems shocked.

"But I have more questions. And you need to answer them."

"I understand that, which is why I am offering another meeting. But you scheduled just one time block for this, and I have others coming in right after. The noise he made was pure frustration, and he let loose without thinking.

"Listen here you cunt! You will not get out of this by claiming an appointment. You will answer my questions until I am satisfied and have enough to properly fuck you over the way you deserve! I-!" A hand claps onto his shoulder, making him wince in pain.

"Lieutenant Colonel Riggs. That is not conduct becoming an officer. You will cease your screaming and see yourself out. Your lack of preparation and knowledge does not permit you to abuse officers of a lower rank. You will join me in my office while we discuss this further." The icy tone has you wincing in sympathy. When the door shuts behind them, you nearly collapse on your desk in relief. After a long moment of fighting the urge to cry, you jolt when a hand rubs your back.

"Ghost, why are you still in my office?"

"Support?" You grunt before looking up at him.

"Thank you. Now, I'm going to have a good cry, so if you need to leave to avoid it, now is a good time." Instead of leaving, he makes you stand and walk to the couch where he tugs you to his chest.

"Cry all you want, Luv. I'm here for you, just like you were for me all those times these past few years."

[forzarma]

jude bellingham x fem!reader

You spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen, baking Jude's favorite cookies. You carefully measured each ingredient, adding extra chocolate chips just the way he liked it.

But when Jude came home from training, he was in a bad mood. His face looked upset, and he seemed really unhappy.

"Hey, babe, I made you some cookies," you said, trying to sound cheerful even though you felt a little worried.

He barely looked at you, his eyes focused somewhere far away. "Can't you see I'm tired?" he snapped, his voice sounding sharp and angry.

You felt your heart sink as his words hit you hard. You had only wanted to make him happy, but now he was mad at you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, feeling small and sad. "I didn't mean to bother you."

You went back to the kitchen, leaving him alone with his feelings. The house felt quiet and empty without his usual laughter and jokes.

For the next two days, you hardly spoke to each other. The silence between you felt heavy, filled with apologies you couldn't say and hurt you couldn't express.

You didn't understand why he had been so mean to you. Had you done something wrong? Was he angry with you for some reason?

You kept thinking about it, but you were too scared to ask. You didn't want to make things worse.

As the days went by, you felt yourself pulling away from him, putting up walls to protect yourself from getting hurt again.

But even though you were mad at him, you still missed him. You missed his smile, his laugh, his warmth.

Finally, unable to stay angry any longer, Jude came to find you. He saw you sitting in the kitchen, staring sadly at the half-empty cookie jar.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice soft and full of regret.

You looked up, surprised to see tears in his eyes. You could tell he felt really bad about what he had done.

"I was wrong to be mean to you," he said, his voice shaky. "You didn't deserve that."

You wanted to stay mad at him, but when he reached out to hold your hand, you couldn't help but forgive him.

"I forgive you," you whispered, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders.

He pulled you into a hug, holding you tight like he never wanted to let go. You closed your eyes and let yourself be comforted by his presence.

In that moment, you knew that no matter what happened, you would always be there for eachother.

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Hii i love ur work i was wondering if u could do an angst story when ur the fem 9th member and jyp adds another fem member and they start ignoring you yelling at u and acting harsh and only one member is by ur side all the time

Replaceable

-9th skz

Warning: yelling, panic attacks, harsh tones, angst

Pairing: I.N x 9th member

Summary: a new member joins your group and it seems everything starts crashing down when you realize your being slowly replaced.

!not proofread!

Hey thank you so much for the request! I hope you enjoy this short story lol! Have a good day 🩷

**

"Chan? I don't know where you are but I've been outside. Waiting. You promised to pick me up remember? Just text me or call me when you get this." I send the voicemail and let out a frustrated sigh. Had he forgotten to pick you up again? This was starting to become really annoying.

The last time he forgot because apparently the new girl, Haneul, needed help recoding something for the album. I let it go because it was the album after all and I want what's best for the team. But this time I had no idea why he wasn't texting or picking up.

The sky starts to drizzle and I let out a sigh. Slowly starting the walk home. I knew I was going to be soaking wet when I arrive at the dorms so I just put my phone in my bag to avoid it from getting spoilt.

The past few weeks, the schedule was really busy especially now that their was a 10th member. Everyone was trying to make her feel like home even offering her MY room as I took the couch until we were transferred to our new dorm. It was frustrating because now everyone's attention was on her and the fact that the boys were excited for a girl joining got me thinking that maybe they were tired of me.

The rain was pouring heavy now and my tears were too. Last week Han forgot to practice with you because he was with Haneul teaching her the rap part for the new song. Last week Felix forgot that you were making brownies with him and decided to do it with Haneul instead. Last week Changbin double booked his schedule with the recording studio and told me to come at a later date because Haneul needed more attention. LAST week Leeknow took her to the new game park when he had promised me to go with.

Haneul was slowly getting me replaced. The less I talked the more nobody would notice me.

My phone vibrates and I quickly pull out my phone.

"H-hello?" I say into it while snifling.

"Y/nie? Love? Are you there? What's all that noise?" I hear I.N's voice booming through the phone obviously panicking.

"I'm walking home." I sadly say looking at the puddles that had completely got my shoes wet.

"But it's raining dogs and cats outside! Yah! You're going to get sick."

"Chan forgot to pick me up again but it's okay I'm like 2 minutes away from the house."

"Oh baby. Let me make you some hot chocolate and run you a bath."

"You don't have to babe-"

"No I will! Now hurry along please. I want you home safe."

I say a little bye before rushing to get home.

My shoes let out squishy sounds against the hard wood floor as I make my way through the house.

"Where's Chan?" I glare at Changbin who's walking to the kitchen.

He stops and his eyes go wide when he finally sees me. "Oh my God. What happened babydoll?" He gasps at the state I'm in.

"Where. Is. Chan?" I ask one more time. Angry wasn’t even the word that could explain the emotion I felt at the moment.

"His in the studio-"

I walk past him and charge at the studio where I open the door to find him with Haneul laughing at something.

Was he being Foreal right now?

"Chan how could you?!" I say hurt at him causing him to jump and look up at me.

"Y/n? Oh my God what happened to you? Why are you soaking wet-"

"You fucking forgot to pick me up from schedules Where were you huh? Huh?" I frown and glare at him.

He looks panicked as he picks up his phone to check his reminders but his eyes open wide in realization.

"Oh my God- y/nie I'm so sorry. Haneul-"

“It’s okay,” I say not even bothering to fight with him. It wasn’t worth it. It was tiring.

"What’s going on guys?" Leeknow says coming into the room confused.

“Yah! Y/n your getting the whole house wet with your clothes? What’s your problem?” He scolds me.

“I had to walk through the rain and you don’t even care, no need to yell at me.”

The boys all start piling up into the room trying to figure out what the matter was.

"Y/n! Your wet!" Han exclaims

“Yes I think I get the point people!” I groan and shiver as the cold air hits my body.

“Y/n go get change please, now I have to clean up your mess,” Leeknow’s tone is harsh. I can hear it with a tint of frustration.

“Jeez Leeknow you won’t even bother to ask if I’m okay?” I roll my eyes trying to avoid the tears that threatened to fall down my cheeks once again.

He just dismisses me with his hand and walks out the room to do whatever he had too.

“Anyways, Haneul do you still wanna watch riverdale later?” My neck snaps at the direction that Hyunjin stood. Did he just say riverdale?

“Yeah yeah, I hope it’s not too much work but I was wondering if we could also make those little friendship bracelets-“

“Hyunjin did you just say riverdale? That’s our show,” my voice is now soft and quivering. Why would he watch our show with her.

“Y/n don’t be selfish, she’s just watching season one. It’s not a big deal.” He didn’t care. He didn’t care at all.

“We can alwyaks watch another series Hyunjin I don’t mind really-“

“Nah Y/n will be okay she’s just being dramatic like always,”

My breathing started to pick up. I couldn’t hold in the tears anymore. I was cold, tired, hungry and emotional. The sob that left my lips represented all that.

Chan’s eyes go wide when he notices the distress I’m in. “Hey, why are you crying? Are you okay?”

I don’t even bother to answer and just walk past the boys that stood by the door looking confused and worried.

“What’s the matter Y/n? Is it because of riverdale? Please don’t tell me you’re crying over that!” Hyunjin says as his hand grabs mine.

“You guys treat me like such a bother ever since she got here. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’m I boring to you guys now? All of you have been mean or pushing me aside for her. I don’t even ask for much but to have my friends back. If you don’t want me in the group anymore just tell me.”

I’m a mess, I’m a mess. I free myself from his grip before walking up the stairs where I run into I.N. He gives me a smile and realizes the state I’m in. His smile drops.

“Hey- woah woah woah, what’s wrong?” He asks but he was the only one that knew the current position I was in. I had told him the day he saw Chan snap at me when we were learning a new choreography and I had messed up.

“I’m- I’m just tired.” I cry as he automatically pulls me into his arms.

“Don’t cry hmmm. It’s okay I’ve got you okay? Let’s go upstairs and get you showered and changed. Then we can talk about it okay?” He whispers in my ear and I just nod in response.

He pulls me up the stairs and into my room where I find my pajamas laid out and some candles lit. The bathroom was running.

He slowly undresses me and guides me into the bathroom where I sit in the hot bathtub.

“Join me?” I ask well basically whimper. Craving his touch.

He chuckles. “Yeah sure my love. You miss me hm?”

“Yeah,” I softly say before blushing.

He gets undressed and gets into the tab. He leans back as I sit in between his legs. My body slowly meting into his.

He leaves tiny kisses on my naked shoulders while slowly massaging my neck. I find my body relaxing and slowly shutting down.

“Hey do you wanna talk about it now?”

“Mmm, it’s just that Everbody’s been acting so different towards me eve since she joined, I told you this last time but now it’s worse. Sometimes they don’t even acknowledge my existence.” I sigh feeling the sadness start to rise again.

“Baby, I told you last time to talk to them about it. What happened?”

“I don’t know I geuss, I geuss I just don’t want to make them feel like they’re picking.”

“But it’s your feelings that matter

**

LMAO THIS IS LIKE ONE OF THE FIRST STORIES I TRIED TO DO, SHOULD I DROP IT?😭

[ba9go]

bokuto koutarou misses your anniversary

timeskip!bokuto (msby black jackals), fem!reader, hurt/comfort, flufffff

koutarou has never missed your anniversary in the 7 years you've been together since highschool. come hell or high water, koutarou would never miss your anniversary for the world.

this year, however, was different.

koutarou's career meant a lot to him. he lives and breathes volleyball. and as the msby black jackals' starting wing spiker, koutarou was vital to the team.

it just so happened that the fivb world championships were going to be held the day before your anniversary. in switzerland. which was 14 hours away from japan.

it was a huge deal, the fivb being a week-long international tournament and all, and the jackals were facing the russian team zenit kazan in the finals.

it sucked. it sucked even more when koutarou broke the news to you, even if you'd been understanding.

"it's okay, kou," you smiled at him warmly.

"it's not okay," koutarou sulked, burying his face in his hands. "i don't wanna be away on our anniversary. it's hard enough to be away from you for a week. can't we just fly you to switzerland? please?" he peeks at you sadly from between his fingers.

"sorry, but i've got work, kou," you murmured quietly, gently prying his hands off his face. you squeezed his hands reassuringly. "go do your best out there, i'll be rooting for you. i promise we'll celebrate once you're home, okay?"

"okaaaay," koutarou pouted, but interlocked his fingers with yours to squeeze your hands back. "but i still don't like this."

koutarou hated this, actually.

not only had they lost the match, but there was a slight delay in his flight back to japan. the plane landed at kansai international airport closer to 10pm than the initially stipulated 6pm.

koutarou tried not to let his frustration get the better of him. the last thing he wanted to do was to come home late and angry. he tried to calm down in the cab driving back home.

koutarou reached the front door of the house at 11.16pm. that gave him... roughly 44 minutes to spend his anniversary with you. great.

he didn't bother unpacking his luggages, instead leaving them in the doorway and making a beeline straight to the bedroom. the door was slightly ajar, and the room was dark save the warm yellow light from the lamp on the nightstand.

koutarou felt his heart sink as he walked towards you, curled up in bed alone. 'i'm too late,' he thinks sadly, crouching next to the bed and staring at your face, tired but beautiful. he imagines you, trying to stay up even after a long day of work. 'she must be so disappointed in me.'

"y/n," koutarou whispers softly. he feels tears start to well in his eyes. "i'm home. i'm sorry for making you wait."

you stir ever so slightly in your sleep.

koutarou leans over and presses a kiss against your forehead. when he pulls back, your eyes are wide open and staring right at him.

"kou? kou!" your face breaks into a grin and you fling your arms around him. "you're back!! when did you get back?"

koutarou is bewildered. you're not mad at him?

"you must be so tired, baby! have you taken a bath? let's run you a hot bath, okay?" you sit up and move to get off the bed when koutarou catches you with his arms around your waist.

"i'm sorry," koutarou whispers against your chest. he squeezes your waist like he's afraid you'll disappear on him at any moment. "our anniversary's ruined, because of me."

you instinctively wrap your arms around the back of his head, cradling him. "you didn't ruin anything, kou," you ruffle his hair lovingly.

"we didn't even win." koutarou's head falls to your lap. you continue patting his head.

"that's okay. i'm still proud of you."

"i missed our anniversary."

"you're here now, aren't you?" you smile at koutarou when he looks up at you from your lap. he nods slowly. "that's more than enough, kou."

"really?"

"of course. happy 7-year anniversary, koutarou. i adore you."

what can i say. bokuto has been my comfort character since 2017. thank you for always being here for me bokuto!!!!! :D