#Rub and Tug

[vaguely-concerned]

it probably says something either sad or deeply unfortunate about me as a person, but I'm darkly amused to see some people react to the reveal of the ultimate permeability of souls in tlt as a triumphant thing -- the "you can't take 'loved' away!!!" side of it all -- when my first reaction was such an immediate wave of 'oh, oh so this is why this series is horror, I truly understand now' distress haha. ngl the final confirmation of the self not being inviolable in the deepest way freaks me the fuck out far more than any moment of body horror in the series has managed. (these two elements are of course the two sides of one thematic coin; it's about the horror of our bodies and minds and selves not being inviolable things, and about the effect of violence on them on so many different levels. violence psychological and interpersonal, physical, subtextually sexual, emotional, medical, political, a whole unlovely smörgåsbord of indignity and violation a person can be exposed to, and on a broader scale the spectrum of violence colonialism wields). The world and other people being capable of leaving indelible marks on us for good or ill through their presence in our lives is of course a pretty self-evident demonstrable truth in the real world, but somehow having it be proven metaphysically just uh. Fucks me up! 

It also drives home to me just how perfectly Muir has captured the dilemma at the heart of human connection and intimacy: the fact that the thing that gives us life and meaning is also capable of harming us so deeply. the same thing that can be so beautiful — even in a bittersweet, violently transformative form like with the creation of Paul — when done mutually and consensually and compassionately, is the same process that means someone like John can touch someone else's soul and 'after he's put his fingers on something, you'll never find anyone else's fingerprints on it; too much noise'. I think the text itself — the whole series, because to me this is what it is ultimately about, this tension between individuation/self vs. love/connection/enmeshment — is far more ambivalent in its treatment of it than saying it’s inherently a good thing or inherently a bad thing. The only thing it says for sure is that it is always a thing, that thinking you’re ever getting away from it is the height of futility, and that through being alive (or even through being dead lol) it is something you have to engage with in some way no matter what. Contact with other people is deeply necessary — without it we sicken and die. it can be the most beautiful and meaningful thing in a human life, and the most unspeakably horrific. All of these people are searching for some way to be whole, whether in total self-contained sufficiency on their own or in melding with someone else as their ‘other half’, and stumbling around in the dark they reach for each other and score deep wounds into the thing they’re trying to touch even when they don’t mean to. Taken to horrific extremes with the form of lyctorhood John guided his disciples to when they were ‘children — playing in the reflections of stars in a pool of water, thinking it was space’, because while people hurt each other all the time with differing levels of intentionality behind it, what John did was deliberate. It weaponizes the misapprehension of what closeness must be and destroys everyone involved in the process… and all because it leaves John the one sun their ruined lives have left to orbit around, because that’s the closest thing his soul will allow to connection. He doesn’t understand that to truly touch something you have to truly let it touch you back, and then wonders why he’s never satisfied.   

‘The horrors of love’ has been memed to death, I know, but… yeah. That is what it is, isn’t it.

[voidcat]

At the beginning it was Narumi's impulsive and impatient ass that'd rush to any yamazon order he sees delivered to the base and grab them all for himself before checking for the possibility that some of them might not be his...

But after one too many times getting scolded by your, getting his ear pulled or getting into a heated argument with you- right in front of many people no less- He sees the fruit garden of an opportunity as it is, and decides to use it for his advantage.

Especially when the orders /are/ delivered to his person by accident.

Who can blame the poor delivery guys though? They are giving the boxes to him by muscle memory at this point- sick of coming back to the base doors day after day and always the same darn name on the papers: Narumi Gen

Meanwhile Narumi enjoys seeing the growing frustration on your person when the telltale message of "orders delivered" has arrived yet there is nothing in sight. Some orders have you worried more than the others, piquing his interest and going as far as to try his chances every once in a while when he's feeling bold: "Oh? You want these so badly? Then beg"

(It results with a hardcover book of yours meeting with the crown of his head every single time. Always a different book and the current one always heavier than the previous...)

[brood-mother]

davrin and emmrich having a foster father dick measuring contest is cool and all but what about the lighthouse banter where if emmrich and rook are together davrin seemingly offers to teach him how to give a handjob

[chekhovs-tantrum]

Ok so souls in close proximity get more and more like each other: Alecto and John edition

We don’t know much of Alecto when she was still the dying earth. In the flashbacks we see she’s pliable, quiet, unsteady in her body, full of “I still love you.”

But when we meet her in NtN she’s vindictive, nasty to Pyrrha (who liked her!), stabbing God and biting Harrow.

Was John’s grief and vengeance and cruelty a bad influence? Was that another reason to lock her in the tomb - for her protection as much as his? Cassie says John is one of the most vindictive people she knows: that quality clearly originated with him.

The horrors of love: ruining your beloved, then ruining her again and again until your choices are “abandon her for preservation” or “destroy her completely.”

[skunkes]

didn't write an update for yesterday bc i was already feeling fine, could fully bend to pet cookie, didnt have to use my legs to pick off charger cable from the ground, etc but today ummmm. Well last night I did scratch myself a little. And now im kinda hurting when I get out of bed and such again

[peachsayshi]

& speaking of kissing gojo; the man is infuriating because he'll coil your belly, have you all hot and bothered because of those pretty, soft pink lips and that wicked tongue and then end every make out session with a cute lil nose rub followed with a tiny, chaste peck.

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

saw something in the fictive tag here that bugs me.

if you have exomemories thats fine. you arent "wrong" or "faking" if you remember things from your source.

also, you arent "wrong" or "faking" if you Dont remember things from your source.

can we all just live and get along please. you dont have to go at someone else's throat just because you experience plurality differently.

[zappedbyzabka]

[heymrspatel]

✨✨ weekly tag wednesday thursday ✨✨

i was tagged by @jrooc @energievie @doshiart @deedala @mmmichyyy @mybrainismelted @gardenerian @just-survive-here and @juliakayyy 🥰💙

🔠 Name: julissa 🧚🏼

🌀How do you pronounce your own Tumblr handle in your head? *clears throat* AAAAYY! MIS-SSSUHS PAH-TEHLLL!!!-

🪟 When you look out the window right now what do you see? buildings, some bare trees, buncha cars, people walking, a city bus, a train station.

🎨 What hobby were you really into as a kid? reading and drawing!

🔍 First autofill google result when you type 'How can I...?' "how can i watch march madness" which is funny cause idgaf about any a that

🎶 If you were the main character in a sitcom, what song would be playing during the opening credits? i'm going with "dreams" by the cranberries

🎬 What's the last movie you watched? Did you enjoy it? What genre is it? i think it was damsel during the weekend/it was ok for what it was/fantasy fairy tale-ish thing!

🎥 What is your favourite movie genre? oh i'm weak for a dramedy? a sweet rom-com? something that'll pull on my heartstrings but also make me laugh a bit.

What movie would you recommend? almost famous! i fear this will always be my answer

👯‍♂️ Do your IRL humans know about your fandom life? If you're a creator, do they know you create? eegghhh lol my sister and best friend know i'm on tumblr but they certainly don't know the extent of it or that i create anything at all. it will remain this way.

🚣🏼‍♀️If you could do one activity with your pocket/fandom friends what would it be? all i wanna do is sit somewhere for hours and laugh and hug and hold and salud mis bebés!

i'm late but i'll tag @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatwouldmickeydo @gallawitchxx @metalheadmickey @howlinchickhowl if you would like to play! if not, just imagine i'm hopping next to you showing you the moon 🌙

[meownotgood]

How would aki feel if you pinched his cheeks and called him cute in a baby voice and patted his head and pampered him as much as he deserves and-

he gets shy and a little pouty look forms on his face; when you squish and pinch him too hard he's half-heartedly pushing you away and telling you to knock it off. but he can't deny that he likes the attention... aki will gladly put up with whatever you wanna do to him as long as you tell him how much you love him in the end

[seattlesellie]

The way that asked singlehandedly refueled my "being pupped around by ellie" fantasies SIGH

IF i speak….

[seraphimdivine]

I wanna sit on my werewolf boyfriends lap in a tiny skirt and watch him tear up my tights with his big puppy claws :(

[lunarfeat21]

I was bored, needed some inspiration, and this quote from ‘Pirate’ ignited it, so please enjoy this >;)

(Careful what you wish for Zug)

[dietrichs-fanclub]

dietrich with his fuckign shark dog. shes a goblin shark and her name is atari teenage riot no i wont elaborate on that. dietrich calls her riot or ATR. depends on the mood. she wears a bow always.

theyre not supposed to both look so forlorn but have u ever seen a goblin shark.... theyre just like that...

[majimassqueaktoy]

:^)

[meownotgood]

Hiii! Can I have some thoughts on aki caring for a sick reader? I've got a fever since yesterday but I still have do get a lot of work done in the computer, so my head hurts and I feel like crap... I want aki hugs...

yes of course!!! I'm so sorry you aren't feeling well :(

aki is the first to notice you're sick out of anyone. even if you try to claim you're fine, he's ushering you to bed and telling you to get some rest. he'll place his hand on your forehead and take your temperature, telling you see, you have a fever, I knew it.

you absolutely won't be allowed to work as long as he's there, he'll make sure you're getting all the proper rest you need. you find it hard to deny him though when he's placing a cold washcloth on your head and handing you a warm bowl of soup, promising to come and check on you every hour.