#Rowaelin conversations

[acourtofquestions]

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew." She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything."

He extended his hand. An offer and invitation. Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you." She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face. "Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

[acourtofquestions]

Accurate😂 + "trust me: if I wanted him dead, he'd be dead; that was called "flirting" with death" vibes

Aelin: If you want my advice-

Dorian: No offense but you're the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your husband. Multiple times.

Aelin: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, he also tried to kill me.

Rowan: It's true. It was mutual attempted murder.

[throneofsapphics]

Hi I was wondering if I could request either a feysand or rowaelin x reader? About how the reader is insecure and a really nice person and is like friends with everyone. And theres this one toxic friend of hers that like makes her believe that Rowaelin or feysand don't care about her because they don't spend eough time with her. Because feysand or rowaelin are really busy with their duties they don't have time for the reader and are really stresses about something so when the reader asks if they could take a bit of time off to spend time with the reader they snap at her? And you could maybe continue of from their if that okay? Could it have like a fluffy ending?

Sorry if thats too long and I really love your writing by the way !

how long will I bleed

Feysand x Reader 

Summary: Tired of being ignored, reader finally reaches her limit. 

Warnings: anxiety 

A/N: ahh thank you! and please don't be sorry! I haven’t written feysand in a while so I apologize if it's a bit off, thank you for the request :)

“How often do you actually see them?” 

“Every day,” you frowned, not sure where she was going with this. 

“I know, I know. You sleep in their bed.” Their bed? As far as you were concerned, it belonged to all three of you. “How often do they spend time with you, besides what they’re obligated to?” 

Obligated. That didn’t sit right with you, and whether she meant it or not - your friend was striking a deep insecurity, tucked away in your subconscious. 

“I don’t mean it in a bad way,” she patted a hand on your shoulder, you fought the urge to flinch. Absolutely she meant it that way. “Just something to think about.” Right now, it’s the very last thing you want to think about now. Thankfully, she prattled on about something else. 

-

For a while, you only watched. Observed. After some time passed, you subtly tried to nudge towards spending more time together. But, they were always busy, always tired, always had an obligation. 

Obligations that ranged from formal events in hewn city, to gatherings with some of their friends either here or from other courts. Gatherings you didn’t attend, mainly because you couldn’t tell if you were invited. There was never an explicit, come with us, or we want you there. It started to feel like they didn’t care. 

Actually see them. Obligated. Their bed. The words from your friend echoed like an ugly melody. Each week, she’d bring it up again. Each time, you brushed it off or shut it down. Reducing the time you spent with her would be the smart thing to do, but you couldn’t find it in you to cut her off like that. Even with the subtle digs and harsh comments, she’d been with you since before your relationship with the High Lord and Lady, and ending your friendship felt like breaking away from the past too much. 

It took you a few months to accept that if you wanted it to change, you needed to tell them.

“Do you think we could spend some time together?” you asked over breakfast, pointedly keeping your eyes on your plate. 

“That’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?” Rhys sounded vaguely amused. Briefly flicking your eyes to him, the angle of his head told you he was already glancing at the clock. 

“Maybe … maybe we could take a day off together?” You couldn’t remember the last time you spent an entire day together, just the three of you. 

Feyre’s mouth pressed into a tight line, “I don’t think we’ll be able to.” 

“I can work around your schedule,” it would be easy enough for you to get time off from work. 

“We don’t have time to spare,” she snapped. Spare. Feyre didn’t mean it, but it felt like she was calling you a spare. Their second choice, always coming behind compared to the two of them. A small tear welled in the corner of your eye. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, a tad more gently. Rhys glanced at the clock again, then back to Feyre, eyes glazing. 

Lost enough in your own spiral, you didn’t care that they were having a silent conversation in front of you. After a few minutes, they finally deigned to speak aloud. 

“We have to leave for Court business. We’ll be back in a week.” 

“Oh.” How long have they known about this trip? You didn’t want to ask. “Alright,” you finally said, throat bobbing. “When do you go?” 

“In the next few minutes,” Rhys looked distracted. 

Fine, that was fine. At least they told you before they left. 

“I’ll miss you,” you tried. It was like your words floated right over them, only getting a gentle smile from Feyre, your words echoed with little sincerity. Rhys offered you a half-smile, and a gentle caress against your mind. They each kissed you before they left, winnowing on the spot to … they hadn’t even told you where they were going. Maybe your friend was right. If they cared, they would’ve made time for you. 

Nice, you were always nice. That’s how everyone described you - kind, nice, gentle, a variety of synonyms. At this point, nice started to feel another word for pushover. You threw your heart out, only from them to stomp over it, not recognizing the trail of blood in their wake. The worst is, they weren’t doing it on purpose. Crushing you was an unintentional, careless, and passive habit. It was their default. 

This time, they’d pushed you right to the edge, to a place they’d actually have to try to drag you back from. 

A week was more than enough time to move out and crash with your cousin. She didn’t ask too many prying questions, only offered up her home and spare room. 

-

Rhys was excited to see you. He did feel a bit guilty at how they shot down your idea, how they had to leave you with such little notice. Time, that’s all you’d asked for, and they could manage that. If not this month, then the next. Stress had gotten the best of both of them recently, what felt like a thousand different negotiations to go through, a plethora of contracts and trade negotiations to review, left little time to spend with you, beyond the brief moment over breakfast occasionally, or before bed. Until you’d mentioned it, until he had some spare moments to reflect, Rhys didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten. 

He knew something was wrong as soon as they entered the Riverhouse. Your scent was … stale, and faint. Like you hadn’t been here in a week. Maybe you’d gone to stay with your cousin or a friend, a big house can be lonely by yourself. That’s what he probably would’ve done. Rhys tried to extend a mental bridge, to reach your mind, but was greeted with a wall of stone. A wall he’d taught you, designed to keep him out. 

“Can you reach her?” He asked Feyre. 

A few seconds pause. She shook her head. 

Walking through the house, he carefully looked for any signs of distress. Could someone have broken in here and taken you? His mind went to the worst case scenario, heart beginning to race. 

A note, pinned under the salt shaker on their breakfast table. 

I’m tired of being pushed aside.

Sorry to leave like this, but it’s for the best. 

Two lines, not even your name signed at the bottom. A small spot smudged the last word, like a tear had dropped onto it. Hurt, anger, betrayal, fear, and regret flooded him at once. 

-

It was the worst and best week of your life. Worst, because you missed them more than you wanted to, and they kept showing up in your dreams - uninvited. Best, because you finally felt free. With the pressure of a falling relationship gone, you could breathe again. 

Anticipation filled you as the week came to the end. Would they try to find you? Would they care enough to? The question you really needed to ask yourself, is if you’d take them back. After their return, you’d learn just how much you meant to them. You’d learn if you truly were the spare. 

Eight days after you left, you dragged yourself out of bed for an early shift, regretting the extra glass of wine you indulged in last night. 

Slipping through the alley, around the back door, you didn’t notice him at first. Fumbling with your keys, you finally managed to slide it into the lock when you heard your name. The voice that had haunted your dreams for the last week.  

A squeak, and keys clattered down on the cobblestone, the sound echoing. Bracing your hand on the door, you took deep breaths to slow your heart, before turning to face him. 

Rhys stood there, looking like he hadn’t slept at all, blue-purple half moons under his eyes, messy hair like he’d been running his hands through it. He raised one hand, a small piece of paper balanced between two fingers. Your note. It was quite brief, but you’d been angry at the time and couldn’t find it in yourself to come up with flowery words. 

“For the best,” he quoted. “Do you really believe that?” 

Oh, that put you right on the defensive. “I said it, didn’t I?” 

The paper vanished, and he tucked his hands into his pockets. “I don’t want it to end like this.” 

It. One tiny word to sum up three years. “But you want it to end?” your voice came out small. 

“No,” he said harshly, closing the space between the two of you. “I don’t.” You didn’t reply. You didn’t know what to say. “When do you get off?” He finally asked. Gentle claws poked at your mind, but you slammed your shields back up. 

“Two,” then your coworker would come take over. 

“We’ll be here,” he reached out, running his thumb over your cheek. It took all of your self control not to lean into the touch. Taking a step back, he winnowed. 

That entire morning and afternoon, you were … off, to say the least. But, work helped relieve some of your anxiety, falling into the monotonous tasks you’d done for years. 

We’ll be here. What did he expect to happen? What did you want to happen? 

By the time two came around, your coworker arrived a few minutes early, you were a ball of anxiety, your entire body tense, heart beating fast, mind swirling. 

“There’s two someones waiting out there for you,” she nudged your shoulder, tilting her chin towards the alley. Giving her a tight smile, you gathered up the rest of your things, to take a few breaths. In and out. You could do this. 

Feyre’s eyes lit up as you swung the door open, excitement tinged with a bit of melancholy. You chose to focus on the excitement. 

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, and even with the lingering hint of resentment you felt more loved than you had in months. Part of you recognized that might be a red flag, that even a few hours of attention could have that effect on you, but it was easily brushed aside. 

You were nestled between the two of them, on a bench overlooking the Sidra. Rhys’s hand ran lazy strokes up and down your thigh, Feyre’s arm curled over your shoulders as you leaned into her. Gentle currents rolled back and forth, bouncing off of the stone walls caging in the river, music floating through the streets. Loud enough to hear clearly, but not so loud that it could drown out any conversation. 

“Come home with us,” she said softly. 

A moment of hesitation, but you knew you couldn’t resist. 

“I will.”

[shyvioletcat]

ROWAELIN MONTH: DAY 4 - ACCIDENTAL NUDE

I had fun with this one. Took an unexpected approach but it’s still good.

~~~~~

Rowan was content with his night of leisure. Watching TV, filling in a page of his mindfulness colouring book, letting his thoughts idle around nothing. It was relaxing and he barely had a care in the world. That was until his roommate unceremoniously burst into his room without knocking. The door would have slammed into the wall if a washing basket hadn’t been tucked behind it.

“Fen, what the fu—“

“I’ve made a mistake,” Fenrys said quickly.

Rowan leveled him with an unsurprised glare. “Again?”

“Let’s just skip the whole ‘how remarkable it is for you to make a mistake’ sarcasm because this is very time sensitive,” Fenrys stepped into the room, hands gesturing one over the other in front of him. “And I need your help and I’m coming here because of how much I value your friendship because this concerns you as well.”

“All right,” Rowan said, pausing his show and crossing his arms, dreading whatever his roommate and long time friend might have dragged him into. “I’ll bite.”

Fenrys gave a sharp but heavy sigh that might have been out of relief. “Okay, you know that thing you do when you’re having two conversations, and you finish messaging on one and then you’re thinking about the other one and when you pick your phone you think you’re in that conversation?”

There was a moment when the two men just looked at each other, Fenrys waiting for Rowan to decipher the tangle of words. It did take a moment and even though Rowan wasn’t entirely sure he gave a hesitant, “Yeah.”

“I did that. With an intimate photo. I sent it to the wrong person.”

With a scoff Rowan said, “That sounds like a you problem.”

Fenrys cringed, looking guilty as well. “I sent it to Aelin.

“You what?” Rowan’s gut twisted.

“Remember I said I sent it to the wrong person. Aelin was asking me if I wanted to meet them at the bar they’re at and I was chatting to another girl and I got my lines crossed and I accidentally sent it to Aelin,” Fenrys explained, his words coming out fast in his uncharacteristic nervousness.

“You can’t unsend it?” Rowan asked.

Fenrys shook his head. “It was over text. There’s no taking it back.”

It was hard for Rowan to pinpoint exactly what he was feeling. Despair might be the most accurate description, with a decent mix of jealousy. That was stupid thing to feel, Aelin was his best friend and totally ignorant of his deeper feelings. If she was talking to other guys and receiving messages like the one Fenrys apparently mistakenly sent, that was her business, none of his. Rowan shouldn’t care, but by the gods he did.

“I know how you feel about her, Rowan. I would never do that to you,” Fenrys said earnestly.

One night Rowan had been miserable and more than a little drunk when his deepest secret had come spilling out to his roommate. Fenrys was the only one who knew about how far his feelings went for Aelin and he’d never pushed it. Every once and a while there was some teasing comment or a knowing look, but it would be a complete denial of Fenrys’ nature to do absolutely nothing. So when Fenrys said he didn’t mean to send the photo, Rowan believed him.

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it,” Rowan said.

“Ah, hear me out,” Fenrys said, his face lifting and leaning his palms on the foot of the bed. “She hasn’t seen it. So what you can do is go to the bar, get into her phone and delete the message before she can. I know you know her passcode, which is saying something more that I won’t mention further. Thus, preventing the ruination of her for all other men and preserving my modesty.” When Rowan outright laughed at that last comment Fenrys amended with, “Maybe just my embarrassment.”

“I’m sure Aelin would understand,” Rowan supplied. This all sounded a little too risky and it was late and he was comfy.

“I have never in my life sent an unsolicited dick pic and I don’t intend to start now,” Fenrys protested adamantly. “And bro code, she’s your girl. Not mine.”

If only that were true.

Groaning Rowan threw himself back on his pillows. There was an inner battle going on and he wasn’t a fan of the side that was currently winning. He hated that his main motivation for even considering going was for his own selfish reasons to prevent Aelin from seeing Fenrys naked. If Aelin was seeing a man naked, Rowan wanted it to be him. And Fenrys was a handsome man and he took care of his body—it would definitely be an appealing picture.

“Right now Aelin is dancing the night away, too busy to check her phone. We have a very small window of opportunity.” Fenrys added, cutting into Rowan’s thoughts. “Please, Ro, buddy, old pal. Save me from being a creeper. We all know girls talk about these things.”

Fenrys looked over with puppy dog eyes, beseeching Rowan to say yes. It was obvious Fenrys’ pride was at stake but he was also trying to do the gallant thing, So Rowan resigned himself with his second heavy sigh. “Where am I going?”

~~~~~

The bar was busy and loud when Rowan got there. Even then it didn’t take long for him to spot Aelin and the group she had come out with tonight. They commanded the dance floor, all high energy and clothing that sparkled in the low light. Aelin was in the middle of it, a queen in her chosen domain. It was hard not to stare at her, the joy on her face making her more beautiful if it were possible. Rowan had been invited on this little outing, but he’d declined. Being in his final semester of university he was being slammed with assignments and he was exhausted. A night in was what he needed, and yet it wasn’t what he was going to get. Fenrys would owe him for this.

Aelin spotted him first, smiling brightly as she waved at him through the crowd that he lingered on the edges of. Rowan didn’t know how she knew he was there, but she’d looked right at him. Then she was leaning in and saying something to Lysandra and started to weave through the mass of bodies. It wasn’t long before Aelin was close enough for Rowan to get a clear look at her.

She looked stunning tonight. The dress she wore was made of a cream fabric, small clusters of gold sequins making a haphazard but tasteful pattern. The hem sat high on her thigh, a small slit accentuating the length of her tanned legs. The real show stealer was the neckline that scooped low with a slight drape, held up with thin straps, showing off her cleavage. Aelin was a sight to behold and Rowan had to remind himself that friends didn’t look at each other like the way he was looking at her and he better fix his face before she got closer and noticed.

Aelin was so happy to see him, a wide smile lighting up her face. The way she looked at him did funny things to his heart and Rowan tried to ignore it. When Fenrys was in the mood to pester he asked why Rowan hadn’t confessed his true feelings yet. The truth of it was that he couldn’t risk losing her, if she didn’t feel the same he knew their friendship would dissolve into awkwardness and he cared too much about her to ruin what they had. So he stayed silent and suffered.

“Rowan! What are you doing here?” Aelin asked as she threw her arms around his neck, the scent of her perfume overtaking the smell of alcohol and sweat of the bar. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

When Aelin pulled back Rowan shrugged. “Changed my mind.”

She didn’t go far or let him go, instead linked their elbows. “Good. I’ve missed you.”

He couldn’t help the smile that worked its way onto his lips and the sentiment, or the way his body welcomed her touch. The others had made their way off the dancefloor too, crowding around a tall table. For a while everyone just chatted. Elide and Lysandra were there, Aedion had tagged along as well. Dorian and Manon were pretending not to be interested in each other much to the quiet amusement of everyone.

“Want a drink?” Dorian asked across the table.

“No, I can't stay long,” Rowan replied.

Aedion followed Dorian to the bar, leaving Rowan with the girls who had taken up a conversation amongst themselves. Rowan cataloged whose bag was who’s, relieved when Aelin reached into her bag for lipgloss and not her phone. He still had time, he just needed everyone else to leave so he could ransack Aelin’s bag. The song changed and all three girls squealed. Despite the noise of the club the combined high pitched sound of their excitement hurt his ears.

“Come dance, Rowan!” Aelin said, holding her hand out to him.

“I’ll stay with the table, you go,” Rowan told her.

She looked ready to protest but she must have seen the pleading in his eyes that he was having trouble hiding. Rowan hoped he assumed it was over his reluctance to dance rather than his ulterior motives. He watched as she disappeared through the crowd and onto the dance floor. The light flashed and the bass thrummed though his body, and all the while Rowan couldn’t look away. Aelin moved effortlessly to the beat, smiling and laughing with her friends. He could watch her forever, and he was so entranced that he almost forgot his purpose in being here.

Aelin had left her bag on the table and Rowan did a final check to see if he’d be busted before he opened it. Luckily, her phone was still in there and he wouldn’t have to try and get it off her person. Rowan tapped in her passcode, a string of numbers he didn’t know the meaning of and he was in. The little red bubble on her text app showed more than 100 unread messages. There were two types of people in the world, he was one and Aelin was the other. He ignored the irrational irritation seeing that unattended notification gave him and kept to his task. Fenrys’ thread was near the top, the preview saying there was an image in the latest text.

Rowan braced himself, living with Fenrys for as long as he had, he’d seen the man naked a few times under various circumstances. But Rowan had the feeling this was about to be an entirely different experience. With one final farewell to his current sanity Rowan opened the message thread and trying his hardest not to look he swiped left for delete. It was an impossible feat, he needed his vision to get rid of the evidence. Even squinting, Rowan copped an eyeful of a full frontal nudity mirror shot, everything at the ready. If only mind bleach existed. The photo had just disappeared from existence on Aelin’s phone when a voice came from right next to him.

“What are you doing?”

Rowan started so hard he dropped the phone on the table, the clattering heard over the music. He frantically tried to get it back into his hand, checking for damage because the last thing he needed tonight was to smash Aelin’s screen. Caught red handed Rowan turned, finding the phone’s owner right next to him. Her expression was both curious and amused, and expectant of an answer.

“Uh…” That was embarrassingly the best that Rowan could do.

That only made one corner of Aelin’s mouth crook upwards as she lent on the table to get closer to him. “Why do you have my phone? And what were you doing just before I busted you?”

“Well, I can blame Fenrys for that, for everything actually,” Rowan offered lamely.

“Fenrys?” Aelin asked.

“Yeah, he needed a favour,” Rowan explained.

Aelin just looked more confused by the second. “What does that have to do with my phone?”

“You see—”

Rowan was interrupted by Dorian and Aedion returning to the table, drinks in hand. No one noticed the tension between him and Aelin, or the fact the phone was still in his hand. Conversation broke out around them, but neither joined in. Aelin just had him pinned with her turquoise eyes still waiting for her answer.

Leaning in, Rowan whispered, “I don’t think this is the right place for this,” he handed the phone back. “Can I tell you later?”

It seemed this was one thing that Aelin didn’t have the patience for. She took her phone from Rowan, and then with her unoccupied hand she twisted a fist into the hem of his shirt, dragging him off his stool, giving him no option but to follow her. There were questioning looks from just about everyone they passed, Aelin ignored them and Rowan did his best to as well. They made quite the sight with Aelin physically dragging him off to wherever she deemed an appropriate place to continue this conversation. She didn’t let go until they were outside, taking him around the corner so they were off the main street and in a little alleyway instead.

“All right, Whitethorn. Spill,” Aelin said, leaving him against the wall while she stood in front of him, hands on her hips. “Why were you going through my phone?”

Rowan was trapped, nowhere to go unless he could melt into the wall. “It’s a long story.”

“Oh, I’ve got time,” Aelin assured him.

With the wall at his back and the unrelenting force of a woman in front of him, Rowan truly felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He might as well be honest about it.

“I was deleting a message from Fenrys. He accidentally sent you a nude, so he asked me to delete it before you could see it,” Rowan succinctly put it.

“That was mighty noble of him,” Aelin said, laughter shaking her voice. “And you might I add. I’m curious as to why he sent you, you aren’t always the most benevolent when it comes to Fen’s stupidity.”

Standing here in front of Aelin admitting his wrong doings had Rowan flustered, her outfit wasn’t helping matters either. He was distracted and rambling, and words just started spilling out of his mouth. “It wasn’t just for him, it was for me too. Fen’s knows I’m in love with you and he felt bad and—”

“Wait, what did you say?” Aelin’s hand darted out, landing on his chest.

“Shit…” That was when he realised what he’d said. That he’d dobbed himself in.

Aelin stepped closer, right into his personal space. She’d been this close to him a million times before, but this time it felt different. There was something charged between them. Rowan didn’t dare breathe, afraid to break whatever spell they were under. Aelin reached out the palm of her hand burning through his thin t-shirt.

“Rowan, what did you say?”

That long held breath shuddered out of him, there was nowhere for him to go, nowhere for him to hide. It was now or never, and if he lied to her, Aelin would know it in a second.

“I said I was in love with you.”

Aelin stared at him for a long moment, then there was a cluster of rapid blinks and she shook her head just a little bit. Rowan’s heart threatened to break, his mind imagining all the devastating sentences she might say. None of those came, instead she glanced up at him with an almost shy expression, if she could ever be called shy.

“I thought it was just me,” Aelin whispered.

The words were said so quietly Rowan couldn’t be sure if he’d heard them or imagined them. “What?”

Aelin’s answer was to reach for his t-shirt again, this time up near his collar and pulling him down. Soft and inviting lips met his, the shock of it melting away as Aelin’s tongue swept over his lips. He groaned, on hand on her hip and the other on the small of her back bringing her closer. Aelin came willingly, her body melting against his. When his hand slid up her back to the nape of her neck she sighed, letting him angle her head the exact way he wanted.

Kissing Aelin lived up to every expectation—and then some. His fantasties never did her justice, there was something about the way she kissed him. It was like walking into a wildfire and letting it consume you. Rowan couldn’t get enough. They only stopped when he had to come up for air. He didn’t let her get far though.

Rowan held her, his chin resting on her head. When she laughed Rowan pulled back kissing Aelin’s cheek before she looked up at him.

“I can’t believe it took Fenrys sending me a nude for us to finally admit our feelings,” she said, her laughter shaking her voice.

“That was also not on my list of possibilities,” Rowan agreed with a light chuckle. “His situation is not one I’d ever be caught in.”

Aelin drew back to look up at him. “Wait, you mean you’ve never sent a nude before.” When Rowan shook his head her eyebrows rose in surprise. “Seriously?”

“I… no. Is that weird?” Rowan was suddenly feeling a little self conscious.

“Well, no. Maybe a touch unusual,” Aelin admitted.

There was an implication floating between Aelin’s words, and it had his hand tightening ever so slightly on her hip. “You have?”

Aelin gave him a smirk that told him she knew exactly what realm his emotions had wandered off to. He was getting jealous. “Every now and then, always tasteful though.”

Through the teeth cracking tightness of his jaw all Rowan could manage was soft, “Oh.”

The poorly hidden display of his emotions made Aelin laugh and she was kissing him again. The worry fading from him as the reality of what was happening really set in. His. Aelin was well on her way to being his and it was so godsdamned stupid of him to be jealous. Rowan wouldn’t let anything ruin this moment.

“Will you come back in?” Aelin said onto his lips, like she couldn’t bear to pull away.

With Aelin’s body pressed against him like this it was a tempting offer. But he was tired, and unless it was just him and Aelin he didn’t particularly feel like socialising. Plus, this was new. Rowan didn’t know how he was supposed to act, he certainly wouldn’t be able to pretend things hadn’t changed. He would give them away in half a second. There would be questions and he and Aelin hadn’t even had a chance to talk about it properly.

“I’m gonna go home,” Rowan said, kissing her in between words. “But tomorrow, I promise.”

He didn’t exactly know what he was promising, but tomorrow they would figure everything out.

“Okay,” Aelin said.

When she stepped away Rowan’s body screamed in protest. He would go home, fall asleep, and make tomorrow come that much sooner. Aelin was outright grinning as she took a few steps backward, eyeing him up with intent. It had heat rushing to Rowan’s cheeks made worse when she winked suggestively at him.

“Make sure you keep your phone close. Who knows what kind of messages are flying around these days.”

Rowan didn’t know what to say to that, what to think about the promise she was hinting at between the lines. No matter what, Rowan wouldn’t let his phone drift too far. When Aelin was gone from sight and Rowan composed himself, sending a quick message to Fenrys to let him know his mission was accomplished before starting on his way back home, to wait, and his outlook on life that much brighter.

~~~~~

There is a very fun part two in the works *smirks* @rowaelinscourt

[delulu-is-the-soluluh]

Scars of Flames and Wind | Prologue

Next Chapter

A Dark!Rowaelin x afab!Reader

Author's Note: Hello! It is with great apprehension that I post this fanfic, which has been in my mind for almost a year, but is now finally seeing the light of day. It’s also the first time in 12 years that I’m writing again, so I’m quite rusty. English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance! It’s a long chapter! (Creating context for a fanfic set in the canon era of the eight books made me rethink my life choices, but I’m not backing down!) I hope you enjoy it, and I would love to receive feedback <3

General Warning: Throughout the story, there will be Dark!Rowaelin, DubCon, possessiveness, extreme jealousy, low self-esteem, and many questionable thoughts and actions. There will be some creation of information for the sake of the plot but without straying from the canon, I promise.

Warnings: In this chapter, none; Flashbacks; Aelin’s parents as special guests.

Orynth, 10 months before the Fall of Terrasen

The library was silent and bathed in the afternoon sunlight, with the sounds of  turning pages and scribbling on paper echoing through the room. Rhoe was intensely searching for some information that could help in training his niece’s power. Despite being distant relatives and her presence being only due to a future agreement, he cherished the intelligent and fearless girl she was. But her ability to manipulate earth, from a long-forgotten and diluted dynasty in the Ashryver genealogy, was growing rapidly, and without any other living relatives like her and many of their records lost, it was becoming harder to train her abilities.

With a long sigh, Rhoe diverted his gaze from the paper to his daughter, Aelin, who had insisted on coming to study with him, under the pretext of “spending more time with her father” and learning more about “whatever he was learning.”

With a soft smile on his face, he watched her. Aelin was sitting in an armchair ahead of him, holding a book up to her eyes, without turning a page for quite some time. With a low laugh, Rhoe realized that his daughter was alternating her gaze between the page and his niece sitting by the window, drawing in her notebook, unaware that she was being attentively admired.

Aelin had come just to be close to Y/N. His smile dimmed as worry washed over him.

Aelin couldn’t help but notice how her hair shone in the sunlight, how her irises became lighter, and how her skin seemed to glow as she traced lines upon lines in her notebook. It was... mesmerizing. The fantasy book was already forgotten; she couldn’t concentrate on a single word. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t. She just felt her cheeks warm slightly, using her book as a shield against her blush.

Was this what it meant to like someone? Her heart beat faster when Y/N was around, and her mind often wandered to the moments they spent together. So it was different from friendship... right? She had heard stories about her uncle Orlon and how he liked Darrow more than a friend, and that had never seemed strange to her. But now, feeling something like this for Y/N left her a bit..confused

A memory of the conversation she had the day before with her aunt, Marion, came to her mind:

Aelin was sitting in the garden, surrounded by the flowers her aunt Marion lovingly cultivated. Spring was at its peak, and the air was fragrant with the scent of the flowers. She looked at her aunt, hesitating for a moment before asking the question that was on her mind.

“Can I ask you something?”

Marion smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind Aelin’s ear. “Of course, dear. What do you want to know?”

Aelin took a deep breath, nervous. “Uncle Orlon and Darrow... they like each other more than friends, right?”

Marion paused for a moment, surprised by the question, but her smile remained gentle. “Yes, they do..”  she squinted her eyes, already knowing where this was going. “Why the question?”

Aelin took a deep breath, thinking about how to ask her that. “How do you know when you like someone like that? How do you know it’s more than friendship?”

Marion held Aelin’s hands, looking into her eyes. “Liking someone like that is a special feeling. You feel your heart beat faster when you’re near that person, and you think about them all the time. When you’re with them, you feel a happiness you can’t explain. It’s a type of affection and care that goes beyond friendship.”

Aelin bit her lip, still a bit confused, but her aunt’s words began to make sense. “And if I feel that for someone, but it’s not a boy?”

Marion smiled, caressing Aelin’s face. “Love doesn’t choose genders, Aelin. What matters is how you feel. If your heart says it’s love, then it’s love. And that’s something beautiful, regardless of who it is.”

Aelin felt relieved but still confused at the same time. “But... how can I be sure if it’s really that? How can I be certain?”

Marion thought for a moment before answering, her words filled with kindness and understanding. “Aelin, love isn’t always something we can define clearly. Sometimes, it’s confusing and complicated. But if this person makes you happy, if you feel a special connection, and if your heart beats faster just thinking about them, then maybe you already have your answer. Don’t be afraid to follow your heart.”

Aelin nodded, feeling a bit more at ease. Marion’s words echoed in her mind as she tried to understand her own feelings.

Back in the library, Aelin looked at Y/N once more. Marion’s words resonated in her mind. Maybe it was more than friendship. Maybe it was something special. She wasn’t sure yet, but she knew she wanted to find out.

Plains of Theralis - Terrasen, 6 months before the Fall

The field stretched out before them, a vast green expanse that seemed to lose itself on the horizon. The sun was high in the sky with vibrant heat. A light breeze carried the fresh scent of the earth and wildflowers, mixed with the distant sound of birds singing.

Aelin, with a daring smile on her lips, gracefully and confidently pulled the reins of her horse. She cast a challenging glance at Y/N, her blue eyes shining with the promise of fun and competition.

“Let’s see if you can catch me!” Aelin shouted, her voice filled with contagious joy and a hint of provocation.

Y/N, feeling the dense wind on her face, smiled back, her heart racing both from the race and the attention of Aelin. She spurred her horse forward, leaning in with determination. “Get ready to lose!” she responded, with a glint of challenge in her eyes.

As they raced, Y/N couldn’t help but get lost in the sight of Aelin. The way she moved, with wild freedom and natural grace, was mesmerizing. Her laughter, free and vibrant, seemed to echo across the vastness of the field, blending with the sound of the horses’ hooves hitting the ground.

Aedion, riding a bit behind and enjoying the competition, watched the interaction with an amused smile. He approached and shouted, “Show offs! I don’t want to be the third wheel here, so don’t worry about beating me!” he teased, his tone filled with humor and lightness. Y/N laughed as Aelin cast a challenging look at Aedion as she sped up even more, the wind blowing strongly in her face.

Last Beltane before the Fall

The festival was full of life and renewal. Bonfires blazed in the shadows of the night, casting a golden and dancing glow over the smiling faces of the people. The heat from the flames mixed with the fragrance of flowers and herbs adorning the place, colorful clothes and floral adornments decorated the participants, who moved to the rhythm of festive music.

Aelin and Y/N were at the center of the celebration, jumping over the flames with contagious laughter, their shadows projected on the dancing flames. The joy on their faces was palpable, and the heat of the fire seemed to reflect the flame of their own feelings. The sound of folk music and laughter mixed with the crackling of the bonfires, creating a symphony of celebration.

After a jump over the last flame, Aelin stopped dancing, and with a soft smile and a special glint in her eyes, she pulled something from her dress pocket and approached Y/N.

“I have something for you,” Aelin said, handing Y/N a small velvet box.

With her heart racing and the heat of the festival still vibrating in her bones, Y/N looked at the box with curiosity. “What is it?” she asked, her tone curious and eager.

Aelin smiled, her gaze fixed on Y/N as she watched her reaction. Y/N opened the box and found two delicate necklaces, each with a unique pendant. One necklace was adorned with a radiant sun pendant, and the other with a crescent moon. The light from the bonfires reflected off the jewelry, casting small sparks that seemed to dance in sync with the music.

“Aunt Marion made them for us. So that we always remember each other, no matter what happens,” Aelin said, her voice joyful and slightly hoarse from the celebration. She put on the necklace with the moon pendant for herself and held the necklace with the sun pendant, offering it to Y/N.

Orlon and Darrow watched from afar, their gazes attentive to the scene unfolding before them between the little princess and her future lady-in-waiting.

“Doesn’t this worry you at all? It’s good to see the girls together, but don’t you think this little crush could cause a new...linear impasse?” Darrow said with slight concern, his eyes still on the girls as they put on the necklaces for each other.

Orlon maintained a serene look at the two, still unaware of the agreement proposed not long ago: Aedion would marry Aelin in the future, with Y/N being the queen’s lady-in-waiting, a general, a bearer of wildfire, and a geomancer of the rare and forgotten Montserrat lineage.

But the “innocent crush”  had everything to become something more in a few years, and that was visible to everyone. Some servants even dared to say it could even be a mating bond that caused them to get along so well and never be apart.

“Well, if that’s the case, maybe Rhoe should start ordering another little princess as soon as possible to keep the agreement in order!” Orlon jokes, his eyes shining with humor.

Darrow couldn’t help but laugh lightly, even with the weight of responsibility still hanging in the air. “Let’s see how this unfolds, then. We still have time.”

Orynth, Hours Before the Fall of Terrasen

The day in Orynth was shrouded in a tense and anticipatory atmosphere. The unexpected visit of the King of Adarlan and his son, Dorian, to the kingdom of Terrasen had alerted everyone, even after deciding to give them a warm reception.

During the dinner, where royalty and the closest members of the court were gathered at the table, Aelin struggled to maintain her composure after rejecting Prince Dorian’s friendship, which was quickly rebuffed with his comment that he ate like a little lady.

Moments later, without any warning, Aelin felt a pressure in her head as a sudden burst of heat emanated from her body. Flames erupted around her, dangerously close to the curtains and ornaments. The guests recoiled, some shouting in surprise, while the Terrasen guards rushed to control the situation. Aelin's eyes were wide with terror and frustration as Y/N, amidst the chaos, swore she saw the King of Adarlan watching with a cold smile on his lips.

The dinner ended abruptly, and a quick decision was made: Aelin would be taken to a country house, far from Orynth, where she could learn to control her powers more safely. Her parents and a few guards would accompany her.

Hours later, as night started to fall, determined to comfort Aelin, Y/N sneaked into her room. The castle was silent,  as she entered the room unseen, finding Aelin sitting on the bed, her eyes still vacant from the events of the dinner.

“How are you feeling?” Y/N whispered with concern.

Aelin looked up in mild shock, her shoulders relaxing slightly at the sight of Y/N in her room. She tried to smile, but the effort was evident.

“I’m fine.” she answered quickly. “ It’s just.. it’s getting harder to.. you know, controlling these.. ” She replied, while raising her hands, voice quiet but trying to stay light. It was bad enough she had been banned from the library, her favorite place, because of them; having an episode like this, in front of everyone...

Y/N gazed at her for a moment and moved closer, sitting beside her. They sat in silence for a moment, just feeling each other’s presence. Aelin sighed deeply, her shoulders relaxing slightly.

"You've got this, Aelin. You always do.. Plus, you're not alone in this. At least they know what to expect, right?" Y/N said reassuringly. "Unlike my power, which is completely unknown, and I'm the only one who has it."

Aelin laughed lightly and before she could give her a smart remark, Evalin appeared in the doorway, her expression surprised but soon replaced by gentle concern.

“You shouldn’t be here, Y/N... Come on, let’s go back to your room,” she said, her voice firm yet kind.

Y/N resisted, holding Aelin’s hand. “I just wanted to know why she can’t stay here! Or maybe I could go too! Lady Marion is going, can I go too?” she complained, trying to give Evalin her best puppy eyes.

“Because...” Evalin hesitated. What excuse could she use? She didn’t like lying to the girls, but if she said it wasn’t safe, it would not only spark more interest but also add more reasons for her pleading. 

“Because someone has to stay here to keep Prince Dorian company, and Aedion... well, he’s not the best at it, is he?” Evalin sighed, giving the most generic answer she could.

However, it was not entirely false. Aedion was still on bad terms with the princeling for spilling tea on Aelin’s dress. 

Y/N huffed before getting up from the bed and hugged her, not noticing that one of the sun’s rays from her pendant had caught on Aelin’s still-scorched blue dress, tearing and falling onto the bedspread.

Aelin noticed and tried to warn her, but she had already left the room with her mother. With her eyes fixed on the chain, Aelin quickly wrapped it around her own, the pendants connecting, the sun encircled by the crescent moon. “I’ll return it later.” she whispered to herself.

But later, Terrasen was attacked.

The castle of Orynth was under siege. Flames licked at the stone walls, casting eerie shadows as screams echoed through the corridors. Adarlan, whom they had once welcomed as allies, were now ruthlessly burning and killing everyone in sight. The betrayal was a sharp dagger into their backs, a cruel twist after extending hospitality to those now wreaking havoc.

Aedion shielded Y/N with his body, keeping her safely behind him as they navigated the chaos as the last two survivors of Orlon’s personal guard guided them to the secret passengers . "Stay close," one of them muttered, gripping his sword tightly.

Y/N's eyes were wide with terror, tears streaming down her face. Her mind raced to Aelin, desperate to know her fate. "What about Aelin? What about Uncle Rhoe and Aunt Evalin?" she whispered to Aedion, her voice trembling.

Aedion's jaw tightened, his own worry evident despite his attempt to remain calm. "They'll be fine," he whispered back, "Aelin is strong, and so are Rhoe and Evalin. They have guards with them, they’ll be safe." his furrowed brow betrayed his own fear as his words sounded to not only reassure Y/N, but also himself.

They hurried down a narrow corridor, the guards pushing aside a tapestry to reveal a hidden door. "This way," one of them urged, ushering Y/N and Aedion into the secret passage. The door led them to the edge of Oakwald Forest, their only hope of escape. But as they emerged into the dim light of the forest, they were ambushed.

Adarlanian soldiers surrounded them, swiftly killing the guards who had been guiding them. "Run!" one of the dying soldiers shouted, his final act a desperate bid to save them.

Y/N didn't hesitate. She sprinted into the forest, her heart pounding, while Aedion drew a sword off the grass and followed, cutting and attacking any enemy that tried to block their path. Seconds felt more like hours, their skin and feet now bruised and scratched by the bushes as they entered the dark forest, the trees now looming like silent sentinels, and the sounds of battle faded as they ran deeper into the woods.

Y/N's breath came in ragged gasps, her mind a whirlwind of fear and grief. The betrayal, the loss, the uncertainty of their survival weighed heavily on her. Aedion was right behind her, his presence a small comfort in the midst of the nightmare.

As they reached a small clearing, they paused, both panting for breath. Aedion's face was grim, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any sign of further danger. “You’re okay?” he asked breathlessly, while scanning her with his eyes looking for any more serious wounds. 

Y/N was panting, breathless from running. Her body was caked with dirt and marked with cuts, her face streaked with tears that left trails on her cheeks. Her eyes were wide, lost and frightened, as she reached for her neck and realized her necklace was gone. She whispered Aelin's name and Orynth's, her voice trembling, lost for words.

Aedion felt the earth beneath his feet start to tremble, a subtle vibration that grew stronger as Y/N spiraled deeper into her panic, awakening her powers. He cut the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her, nestling her face against his chest beneath his chin, while his other hand gripped his sword tightly. He held her close, grounding her in the present and calming the tremors, ensuring they wouldn't attract any unwanted attention.

 "We'll find Aelin," he said, hugging her from the side, one hand on her head, the other still with a firm grip on the sword. his voice firm despite the sadness in his eyes.

"We'll find them all, I promise."

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

fixing the acowar to acosf pipeline

(compilation of things ive seen and my own ideas)

first rhys does not come back to life

he either enters a coma or is deeply wounded in some life altering way

due to rhys’s incapacitation feyre will become the sole ruler of the night court

this will allow her to learn how to deal with politics and gain genuine trust of the IC of her abilities outside of her being rhys’s mate

simultaneously she will be looking for a way to cure him/wake him up

feyre and elain will come together and decide that nesta needs help and give her an intervention that comes from love and support and worry rather than from rhys and amren

she will still go to the house of wind and train and work with the priestesses etc etc to give her life some structure

very important: cassian will not sleep with nesta no matter what she does. he will choose her mental well-being and to be her friend instead

I want like a rowaelin style reluctant friendship where they end up sleeping in the same bed because they both crave physical touch and each others presence but cassian maintains that sexual boundary

I think it makes a lot more sense for feyre to suggest cassian plays courtier than it does for rhys

some sort of real exploration of nestas powers ideally in the court of nightmares where she realizes there are other dreamers that are suffering there too

nesta brings this up to feyre, and feyre being feyre wants to give them a chance. they bond over this and this is one aspect to them mending their relationship

I think the blood rite and the eris plot can stay

but the human queen (I forgot her name) that’s gotta be better

all 3 archerons have a real conversation about how they feel about each other and realize they do not have to be best friends to love and support each other

nessian gets together towards the end of nestas healing journey where they allow themselves to love each other

and because they haven’t had sex the sexual tension is off the fucking roof

finally nesta saves rhys’s life (somehow idk that’s up to sjm) so no stupid baby plot and she most definitely does not lose her powers

ok so that’s my thoughts!

[mariaofdoranelle]

Lollapal-oops-a: part 1

Written for Rowaelin Month day 6 - Misunderstanding leading to disaster; @rowaelinscourt

Fic masterlist

Rowaelin Month 2024 masterlist

Hey guys!! I have three parts planned for this, all of them due this month <3

Warnings: none other than the prompt itself hehe

Words: 965

Aelin’s internship at Damaris Publishers had been a learning experience in many ways, but one she didn’t see coming is that, sometimes, you meet a scary-looking, highly muscled and tattooed IT guy, and the only bonding experience you’ll have with him is over the favorite drag queen you two have in common.

Or at least that was what got her rooted to the floor as she stared at the computer screen Rowan Whitethorn forgot to lock on his way to the break room. Five tabs open—two of some nerdy stuff she wouldn’t bother with, and three of Edna Thornie: her Vogue Get Ready With Me on YouTube, her special appearance at the Kinky Boots musical for the Doranelle tour, and another about her upcoming Lollapalooza show this weekend.

“Did he forget it again?” Fenrys asked on his way to her, palms rubbing with giddiness to prank his friend once again.

Aelin snorted. “Yep. Are we Ctrl+Alt+Arrowing him again?”

He made a show of stopping, both hands on his hips to think. “I dunno. Too basic, too predictable by now. Lemme think.”

She gave one last look at his screen—a giant picture of Edna Thornie in all her fake-titted glory, breastplate so big it could be a Z cup and unbelievably cunty go-go boots. Aelin really did love the drag queen’s artistry, but not on her office crush’s screen.

Not a crush, she had to correct herself for the first time, a few months after deciding he was too hot for his own good. Aelin had to get over it, and quick. One minute of silence to mourn the dick she’d never bounce on—because no straight man would watch Edna Thornie do her makeup routine on his own volition—then back to work.

She asked Fenrys, “Rowan, he’s a big fan of Edna Thornie, ain’t he?”

“Yep,” Fen said with a small smile. “If you look past that grumpy shell of his, you’ll find that he really loves her.”

That grumpy shell was what got her. One oat milk latte, and she wouldn’t be so confused to see a drag queen on his screen.

“And you don’t find it a little odd?” Aelin inquired while removing the batteries from his mouse. She was going to put a post-it with a winky face underneath it, a little mercy so he wouldn’t spend too long to find out why it isn’t working.

“Why would it be odd?”

“He doesn’t look the type, that’s all.” Aelin shrugged. “I never would’ve guessed.” She tried to conceal the disappointment in her face as much as possible, but it was hard to when she was one conversation away from asking him out.

Her friend unplugged one of the cables. Frowned at it. Took a moment to study Aelin’s expression, and it was a while before he said, “I think Edna’s come a long way as an artist, specially being part of a marginalized group, and I think it’s a good thing that Rowan is that supportive and proud of her.” He said with a finality that was odd for the lively man, Fenrys left no room for discussion. “Don’t you agree?”

“Yes!” Aelin blurted, only now realized how shitty it was of her to comment on that. Just because she misplaced Rowan as straight, it didn’t give her the right to talk about him like that. It was no one’s business, and so out of line of her. “Yes, of course. I’m a fan too, I’m going to her show at Lollapalooza, it’s just… um. Nevermind.”

“Okay, then…” he trailed. “Now, how long do you think it’ll take for him to find out if I cover the end of this cable with tape.”

Aelin’s eyes widened, and she easily entertained him, happy to have the weird conversation over. “You evil genius!”

Fenrys grinned, and today’s prank was settled. She wondered if they would get more ruthless with Rowan now that she knew nothing romantic would happen, but Fenrys was pure evil either way, so things would hardly change.

Once the shenanigans were done, Aelin decided to refill her water bottle, only to find Rowan hunched over his half-eaten snack.

“Fancy some coffee?” he asked, then pointed at one of the two coffee cups in front of him.

She grinned. “That’s so sweet, thanks.”

No, not just grinned. Aelin had kind of melted on the spot. Chocolate hazelnut cappuccino from the overpriced cafeteria, no special occasion at all. Family aside, she wasn’t used to get this treatment from guys who didn’t want to get in her pants. Every time he was sweet and thoughtful to her, it was just about him being a good person and nothing about getting Aelin naked. What an unusual realization.

“How’s that…” Aelin squinted her eyes at his prepped lunchbox because Mala forbid Rowan eats a non-muscle-building meal like the common folk. “Kiwi?”

“Very… sweet?” He frowned at it. “Consumable? Functional. Very Thursday snack.”

Aelin tilted her head, endlessly amused by this man’s inability to eat exclusively for pleasure. “You eat fruit every Thursday? As in, a calendar?”

His eyes crinkled with a good kind of intrigue, or so it seemed. “You do know that meal planning is quite common, right? And doctors say it’s best to eat fruit everyday—not just on Thursdays.”

“That’s so very fruity of you to say!” The joke was out before her mind could filter it out.

He laughed. “Well, I do like to eat fruit.”

Aelin shook her head with a small grin. “I bet you do.”

She wanted to ask if he’d be at Edna Thornie’s show this weekend as well, since Aelin was going alone, but it’d would give away that she had just snooped into his computer—why ruin the prank this soon?

A/N: I’m actually discontinuing this fic so Edna Thornie is Enda and they’ll hook up after the concert k bye love y’all xx

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[charincharge]

I Don't Want To Wait, seventy

rowaelin high school bff au masterlist

AN: Chapter seven-fucking-zero. Let the rain fall down. Holy shit. Here we go.

The four-flight descent from the master suite down to the kitchen was torturous. She was annoyingly in tune with Rowan. She could feel the slightest flick of his eyes, every time he opened his mouth and then shut it tight again, the change in his gait every time he slowed his pace to walk more in time with her — but all it did was twist the rusty knife in her side, spreading her pain with each shallow breath.

As they rounded the corner of the last flight, Rowan’s hand swung so that it brushed against her knuckles, and she couldn’t help but snatch her hand away, resting in front of her waist and far, far, far from his possible grasp. Gods, she was not going to be able to keep it together during this dinner. And it was only their second day of vacation. And her friends weren’t idiots. They’d surely notice something was amiss.

She was wondering how to best keep them in the dark about her current subject of ire when Rowan slid into the seat between Chaol and Dorian at the far end of the table. His eyes flashed with such hurt that it re-sparked the bolt of anger swirling inside her. Where did he get off pretending like he was the hurt party between the two of them?

“Uh ohhhh…” Dorian chuckled as his bright eyes flicked between both ends of the table. “Mom and dad are fighting.”

Everyone around them laughed, but Aelin couldn’t even muster up a smile, and Rowan’s brow furrowed further.

“We’re fine,” Aelin forced herself to say, but she was so not fine. She barely enjoyed the multi-course meal that her friends had spent so long preparing. Based on the sounds everyone else was making, she was sure it was delicious, but she couldn’t even taste it through the iron of her anger. She made sure to “mmm” in all the right moments, but she was grateful that no one engaged in real conversation with her because she wasn’t sure she listened a single word that was said the whole time. Instead, her anger grew into new fiery magnitudes as she sat and watched Rowan pout.

The fire sparked more as Rowan excused himself halfway through their after-dinner movie to go upstairs to shower and never returned. Why was he the one allowed to pout? And as the flames flickered, heating her all the way through, Aelin was blessed with a genius idea. If he wanted to pout, she’d give him something real to pout about.

She stood, resolved in her plan, and she swore that Manon’s eyes were glowing as she smirked devilishly.

“Give him hell, babe.”

And she would. Aelin felt lighter than she had in hours as she made her way back up to their bedroom, fully resolved.

As she predicted, Rowan’s eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn’t asleep. This was part of his pouting process. His freshly showered hair was still damp over his strained brows as he muttered lowly to himself. She knew he heard her enter because his muttering paused, but he barely cracked an eye open as she went to her suitcase and pulled her nightgown from the bottom and took it into the bathroom to change.

Nightgown was perhaps too polite a word to describe the thin scrap of a garment she’d brought with her. It was indecent, was what it was. Aelin pulled the lacy fabric over her head and pulled it down and gasped. The it clung to her every curve, showing off the parts of her body that were (barely) covered by its low neckline and even shorter hem. Her skin seemed to glow in contrast to the delicate pink lace, which looked nearly transparent beneath the fluorescent lights overhead. Her anger had momentarily subsided, replaced with a burning confidence. She looked incredible.

Taking a deep inhale, she swung the door open and moved across the room to discard her other clothes into the plastic bag she’d designated for laundry. Despite not sparing him a glance, she could feel the exact second Rowan’s eyes opened and spotted her. As she bent lower, she could practically hear him choke on his own inhale.

“Wh-what’s that?” he asked, and she had to bite back her grin as she looked over her shoulder as innocently as she could.

“Oh, this?”

He nodded slowly, his eyes ravenous as he scanned her barely clothed form. She bit back another smile as he sat up further, arms crossed over his bare chest.

“It’s a nightgown.” She paused and widened her eyes for effect. “It’s cute, right?”

He practically wheezed as he shook his head. “Is there not… a bottom half?”

Aelin noted his hands balling into fists, grasping at the sheets below him as he attempted to relax into the pillow behind him, turning out the lights in the room one by one until the only one remaining was on the table beside him. His eyes tracked her the entire time.

“Nope,” she said. “It’s so much hotter here than at home, and you know I hate sweating when I sleep, so I brought a few with me.”  

His eyes burned hotter with desire as she hoisted herself onto the bed and crawled over to him. His eyes lowered to her chest where the front of the nightgown was gapping slightly, and his jaw was loose as she crawled closer.

“I didn’t know you had—clothing like that.” As she finally reached his side of the bed, he brushed his finger against the lace, and recoiled quickly, as if the fabric had burned him. “And you have more?”

“Nightgowns?”

He grunted an affirmative.

“Yup.”

Rowan visibly gulped.

“I know we need to talk, but can we table it for night?” she asked, leaning even closer to him.  

“You want to table it?” he asked, his hand reaching out slightly between them, ghosting against the skin of her thigh.

He looked so overcome with lust and desire that she almost felt bad as she reached across him, pressing her curves against his bare chest.  

“Mmhmm,” she said, batting her eyes at him, loving the dazed expression that overtook his face in reaction. “I’m sooooo tired.”

“Tired?”

His lusty expression was blanketed in sudden darkness as she reached past him and turned his tableside lamp off.

“Night, Ro.”

She rolled to her side, her bare back and most of her butt exposed to him, and for a few seconds there was only the sound of rustling sheets as she nestled down. She thought they were finished talking for the night when Rowan spoke up again, “What other colors did you bring?”

Aelin smiled to herself. “Why? What colors do you want to see?”

“All of them,” he said. “Green…gold...” She heard him roll to his back and turn his face to the ceiling, both of them falling into a silence so thick with tension she felt itchy. She could practically feel Rowan’s desire through the dark, practically hear his teeth grinding with frustration.

It wasn’t until thirty minutes later, when she heard him slip out of bed and turn on an extremely cold shower, that her eyes finally fell closed and sleep overtook her.

. . .

The next morning, Aelin awoke early again, but this time to an empty bed. The room felt cold and dark, especially with the ominous grey clouds threatening to open up and pour hanging outside the window. Ugh. Guess they’d be looking at some indoor activities today.

Whereas Aelin had awoken filled with inspiration and creativity yesterday, she felt bogged down in her own frustrations today. Her taunting nightgown had done its job, but she didn’t feel any better. And she certainly didn’t enjoy waking up without Rowan, despite how mad at him she was. Which… she was. Still. Very mad.

The house was quiet as she threw on some sweats and grabbed her journal. Despite how much drama it had caused — well, it hadn’t caused any drama, really, it was an inanimate object who had no agency but still — she had really enjoyed revisiting it. Journaling was a rare opportunity for self-reflection and solitude, and she enjoyed being able to just let whatever she was feeling come out through her words.

She was just finishing her cup of coffee when Aedion staggered into the kitchen. He overfilled a large mug of his own coffee and slumped across the table from Aelin.

Aelin snorted. “Rough night?”

Aedion glared up at her. “You could say that.”

“In Dorian’s bed?” she asked, but Aedion’s eyeroll shut that down quickly.

“I wish,” he groaned. “Alas, I was up all night watching Golden Girls with your surly boyfriend.”

“What?”

Well, that had Aelin’s attention.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch. He didn’t tell me anything.” He paused. “He’s not really a man of many words, is he?”

Aelin shrugged. “So, you just sat and watched tv together all night?”

Aedion nodded. “Pretty much.” He gestured toward the family room. “I went back to bed when he finally passed out… like… two hours ago? But my stupid brain wakes me up at the same time every day, no matter what, so I’m up again.”

“I’m sorry,” Aelin apologized.

But Aedion simply shrugged. “It was weird, but kinda nice to have the company. I’m usually up all night alone.”

Aelin knew Aedion well enough to knew that was a prompt. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She reached her hand forward and laced fingers with his and squeezed. Her superhero of a cousin had always seemed larger than life to her, and to see the dark circles stained beneath his eyes… well, she knew there was more lurking underneath than just his brush off answer of not sleeping.

He was opening his mouth to answer when Lysandra, Manon, and Elide made their way into the kitchen.

“Later,” he said, pulling his hand back and raising his mug in greeting to the newcomers.

“So, it’s pretty gross out there,” Lysandra said, wrinkling up her nose in annoyance as she poured her coffee. “There’s an arcade pretty nearby with a million indoor activities — laser tag, blacklight bowling, batting cages, bumper cars, and approximately a hundred arcade games, but it’s supposed to rain on and off for the rest of the week, so, it might be jumping the gun to go there immediately.”

“I don’t mind staying here,” Elide said, eyeing Manon like a piece of dessert and making Aelin’s heart pang with jealousy. That’s what she wanted to be doing all week. But stupid Rowan had to ruin it with his stupid lack of boundaries. Oh well, at least someone was utilizing this spring break week properly.

“Totes. And don’t think I didn’t clock that massive closet filled with games,” Aedion added. “A chill day with some board games?”

“DON’T TRUST HIM!” Aelin shouted, pointing at Aedion with an accusatory glare.

“What?”

“A chill day of board games?!” she asked, incredulous. “one is less chill about board games.”

“Except for you!” he laughed. “And she cheats.”

“Oh my god, are you ever going to get over that? Wagyu is in the Scrabble dictionary. We confirmed it,” she said, having had this fight with him approximately a million times in their lives.

“It’s a proper noun! It shouldn’t have counted!”

“Well then, neither should have margarita!”

“It’s a type of drink.”

“Just like wagyu is a type of beef,” Rowan interrupted, loafing into the kitchen with a tired smile. He rubbed at his messy hair and yawned loudly as he slid into the chair next to Aedion, nudging his arm gently. “It’s been at least five years. Can’t you let it go?”

Aedion grinned. “Never.”

She took a second to take in Rowan’s disheveled appearance, but his bloodshot eyes and haystack hair it did nothing to satisfier her. Instead, it made her want to shove her head against his chest and kiss his frown away. But she leaned back and stuck her tongue out at her cousin, irrationally annoyed at her own reaction to Rowan’s sudden appearance. She had been so proud of herself last night, but her hours of sleep had done nothing but make her weak against his presence. She needed to batten down her emotional hatches and prepare to push against him. Ugh.

Lysandra scoffed. “Okay, well, maybe let’s keep Scrabble in the closet.”

“Who’s in the closet?” Dorian asked as he rifled through the cabinet and pulled out a box of cookies and a tub of frosting. Without waiting for an answer, he tore open the package and dipped the cookie into the frosting, and popped it into his mouth.

“Ohhh, me too, me too,” Aelin reached out with grabby hands, knowing that a sugar rush was definitely the answer to her less than optimal mood. Dorian walked to the table and plopped the sweets in front of her, still hovering, so as not to leave the sweets on their own.

“Your metabolism is a medical marvel,” Aedion muttered.

“Thank you,” Dorian and Aelin replied in unison, causing them to break into giggles and dig into the frosting again.

Lysandra rolled her eyes, but Aelin didn’t fail to notice that she stole a cookie from the open container and dipped it into her coffee.

“So, what’d I miss?” Dorian asked through sugar-laden bites. “Something about a closet?”

“Board game closet,” Aedion clarified.

“Mmm, I’m more into video games.”

Lysandra went over to a side console and pulled the door open, revealing a neatly organized row of consoles. “We’ve got those, too.”

“Fuck yeah!” Dorian cheered far too loudly for most of the people who had just barely woken up. “Should we set up a tournament? Brackets?”

“So competitive,” Aedion smirked.

Manon pinched her nose and yawned exaggeratedly. “I’m not awake enough for this level of enthusiasm.” She yawned loudly as she grabbed Elide’s hand. “We’re going back to bed.”

Elide giggled as they both grabbed their coffees and headed off to bed to do anything but sleep. Aelin thougth that maybe Rowan would do the same thing, seeing as he had clearly not slept well, but he simply sat there quietly as Lysandra listed out all the games she had and asked who wanted to play what.

Chaol rolled out of bed midway through the discussion, helping them come up with an extreme game bracket for the day.

They started with a rousing game of Monopoly, which Aedion crushed (but only because he was a known cheater), then moved onto Clue where Chaol surprised them all by winning. But Rowan played quietly, studiously avoiding eye contact with Aelin and sitting as far away from her as possible. By the time they were halfway through the game of Life, she was fully furious at him again. Her anger was compounded by the occasional squeal of giggles that floated from across the house where Manon and Elide were still holed up, and Aedion and Dorian’s heavy-handed flirting. It wasn’t fair. She and Rowan had worked so hard to get to where they were, and they finally had a full unsupervised week and a giant king-sized bed and more nightgowns than she could possibly wear, and he was avoiding eye contact with her??? This was all his fault to begin with!

She channeled her anger as she sped around the Super Mario Cart track, throwing shell after shell at his Link, seeking out any kind of reaction.

“What the hell, Ace?” His eyes flashed at her furiously as Link fell off the track from spinning out on her well-placed banana.

His annoyance only fueled her further, focusing on smashing the bike her Princess Peach was riding against his car again and again.

“Hey!”

Rowan stood suddenly, using his entire body to try and smash her back.

“Uh, you guys know you’re supposed to be racing and not killing each other, right?” Lysandra asked as her Tanooki Mario (or Furry Mario as she referred to him as) zipped by them.

“Let them fight it out,” Aedion laughed, his Donkey Kong lapping the fighting pair again. Aelin hadn’t even noticed that she’d stood up and was shoulder to shoulder with Rowan as they fought each other, using whatever weapon they came across to throw at the other. She dodged his bomb, but his red shell hit Peach square in the face, knocking her off course. She retaliated by driving right into the back of his car, causing him to step closer and lean into her as they fought. The feel of his arm against hers gave her a shocking thrill, and she momentarily lost focus, letting him pull ahead of her. Not that their rankings mattered at this point; they were nearly a full lap behind everyone else.

“FUCK!” Rowan growled as Dorian’s Yoshi crossed the finish line. He threw down his controller with a loud whoop and danced around the coffee table, bragging about how he was the King of Kart, how no one would ever beat him.

“Again?” Rowan asked, eyeing Aelin, who nodded immediately.

Everyone else bowed out to go put together some lunch, but that was fine. Aelin and Rowan needed their alone time. It wasn’t quite like what she imagined their alone time would look like, but it was necessary nonetheless. She let him choose the racetrack, and he of course chose her nemesis: Rainbow Road.

“Fine by me,” she said.

Neither of them sat, aggressively pushing against each other as they whipped around the course.

“Get out of my way!” Aelin shouted, but Rowan was suddenly just as fired up as she was.

“Over my dead body, Princess!” he yelled back as Link narrowly avoided a rogue banana peel.

Aelin growled, flashing her teeth at him as she sped around the part of the course she knew best. She felt like she was flying, her heart soaring with each sharp turn and each coin she accumulated.

“Nooooo,” Rowan groaned as Aelin shoved against him, causing him to lose his concentration and fall behind. His thumbs fumbled on the controller, and Aelin used the moment of distraction to hit him with a shell and beat him by a mile to the finish line.

“HA!” she said, doing her own victory dance.

Rowan’s face scrunched into one of disdain as he flopped back onto the couch. He rubbed at his face and closed his eyes, his exhaustion zapping her of the thrill she felt from her win.

“Ace…” he said with a soft sigh. “Can we please talk?”

Her shoulders tensed and she shook her head.

“Please?”

“I’m still so mad at you, Ro,” she finally said, barely whispering.

“That’s why we should talk. Just, get it out.” He reached out and laced his fingers with hers. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

But he shook his head. “No, you’re not. And I did that. I know I did.”

She took a deep breath. “I can’t pretend like it’s fine. It’s not,” she said.

“But you’re not ready for me to apologize?” he asked. “I was up all night thinking about it, and…”

“I’m not ready to talk about it.”

“So, what, you’re just not going to talk to me for the rest of the week?”

She shrugged, her refusal to talk seeming nonchalant, even though pain tugged at her stomach each time she looked at his sad green eyes.

She didn’t know why she wasn’t, but even knowing that he wanted to apologize, she didn’t want to hear it. Maybe it’s that she knew she would cave immediately, and she wanted him to stew and understand just how badly he’d messed up. So, yeah. She was choosing to stay angry.

“Okay, well… let me know when you’re ready,” he said.

“I will.”

And though she knew they’d come to some sort of stalemate, a rough truce, it didn’t stop her from breaking out yet another nightgown as they made their way to bed that night. This one was a silky material that looked like molten gold, the soft fabric rippling as she strutted across the room. It was just as short as the pink lace number from the night before, but this one also had a low, low back. It seemed like it was barely held up, just above the swell of her ass by two delicate straps that she was sure Rowan could break with his teeth if he wanted to. The way it fell across her skin, it could have been painted on, barely concealing a thing.

Rowan’s eyes had never been wider as she unbound her hair, letting her blonde tresses fall down the naked expanse of her back. She could practically hear him gulp as she got into the bed beside him. His eyes flashed from her thigh to her back to the swell of her chest to the dip of her waist, unable to decide where to look.

“Ace… you look…” His eyes were wide and pained as he curled his hand into a fist, clenching and unclenching, as if he were aching to touch her. “Stunning. You’re a goddess.”

“Maybe we should have angry sex,” Aelin laughed, but Rowan didn’t look amused at all.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He paused and looked at her up and down, desire prickling every inch of her skin as he took his time taking her in.

“I’d settle for a kiss,” she said. “If you wanted to.”

He didn’t wait for any more direction, letting her pull his neck down and press her lips against his in a burning kiss. It’d barely been over twenty-four hours since their last kiss, but it felt like a thousand years, if their bodies’ reactions were any indication. Their mouths opened and tongues met as their fingers scratched at each others’ scalps, tugging harder and harder, until Aelin’s bare thigh was hitched around Rowan’s hip. She could feel him throbbing inside his shorts, and she couldn’t help but tilt her hips against him, rubbing like a cat, desperate to be pet. It was only when a wanton moan escaped her mouth that he reared back, jumping out of the bed with a start.

“Shit,” he breathed hard. “You’re far too tempting.”

He adjusted himself in his shorts and threw on a t-shirt.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“This parade of nightgowns is going to be break me,” he said, chuckling darkly. “I think I should sleep downstairs again.” He paused. “Unless you want to talk?”

Aelin’s lack of response was enough for him to know his instincts were right.

“Right,” he sighed. “See you in the morning.” He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before turning on his heel, leaving her alone, still breathless and wanting.

Hours later, Aelin was still staring at the ceiling, horribly awake. She was feeling that itchy sense of restlessness. No matter how long she closed her eyes for, she kept seeing the flash of hurt in Rowan’s face again and again, burning itself into her brain until she couldn’t keep her eyes closed any longer. Fuck this.

She tore the silly gold nightgown off and replaced it with some well-worn sweats before padding two floors down to where Aedion had been placed. Despite the late hour, the light was still shining beneath the crack in the door, and Aelin was relieved. She’d hoped he’d be awake, but hadn’t been totally sure. She announced herself with a small knock before cracking the door open.

Sure enough, Aedion was upright in bed, scrolling on his phone absentmindedly. His blue-green eyes stared up at her, startled for a second, before melting into a familiar smile. He patted the comforter next to him, and she bounded across the room before jumping onto the bed with a large bounce.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, and Aelin shook her head.

“You’re not hanging out with Rowan tonight?”

Aedion chuckled softly, rubbing the top of her head with his large palm. “Nah, I thought I’d swap out with Lys tonight.”

“Lys? Is hanging out with Rowan?”

“Yup.”

Aelin paused.

“Should we check on them to make sure there’s no blood shed?”

Aedion inhaled, causing him to snort loudly. “I thought you wanted his blood shed?”

Aelin groaned and flopped back onto the soft pillow. “No, of course I don’t. I love him. I would like him to stay alive and in one piece.”

“Sure could have fooled me with your shell throwing, Peach,” Aedion laughed. But he sat patiently, waiting for her continue.

“He read my diary.”

“Whoaaaa,” Aedion whistled. “That…”

“Isn’t cool?” Aelin completed his sentence. “Yeah, I know.”

“I was gonna say, that doesn’t sound like Rowan, actually,” Aedion said, running his hand through his thick hair and pushing it back thoughtfully. “Why’d he do it?”

“Huh?” Aelin asked, distracted by her barrage of feelings of betrayal and hurt once again.

“Why’d he do it?”

“Uhhh…” Aelin didn’t have an answer.

“He didn’t give you a reason? Why he opened your journal and invaded your private thoughts?”

“Well, he started to but…I kind of didn’t want to hear it?”

Aedion sat thoughtfully, his eyes glazing over as he parsed through his own emotions and figured out what to say next. It was rare for Aedion to speak so candidly with her. Their relationship had always been a series of taunts and sibling-adjacent teasing. But he was smart and knew her better than most. And he lived her entire history with Rowan, so she was curious to hear his response.

“I think you should hear him out,” Aedion finally said, causing Aelin’s hackles to rise. Why should she have to listen to his explanation when the betrayal was so clear cut and obviously wrong? Why should she care about the why when the what couldn’t ever be explained away. “I know what you’re thinking,” Aedion continued. “Because if you’re going to be fully and rightfully mad, you should know what caused this insane lapse in judgement.” He paused again and stared at her.

Aelin nodded, taking in his explanation, but she wasn’t sure she agreed with it. “I’m not ready to stop being mad yet,” she admitted.

“You don’t have to.”

“I just know that as soon as he starts explaining, I’m going to forgive him. And I don’t want to forgive him.”

“Why not?”

A small tear ran down Aelin’s cheek as she sniffled. “Because he’s leaving me.” She shook her head, sniffing the tear back and continuing forward. “I think maybe there’s a part of me that thinks maybe this is just an easy way to push him away. You can get left if you leave first, right?” She took a deep breath and stared up at her cousin with wide blue eyes, her lip trembling. “Aed, am I totally fucked up?”

“C’mere,” Aedion said, letting Aelin lean against his shoulder and cry it out.

She knew this was about so much more than her journal. It was a panic reaction. Even though Rowan had reassured her approximately seven hundred and one times that he wasn’t going anywhere, that deep down, she still didn’t believe him. She was so ready to push him away. Because him wanting to be with her… it didn’t make sense. And so when he made this (albeit huge!) mistake, and was upset with her, her instinct was to lean into that feeling. Like, aha! She knew it! He didn’t want to be with her, after all. Because she’s terrible, so who could want to be with her?

“Just talk to him.”

She thanked Aedion for his advice, but wasn’t sure she was going to take him up on it. Instead, she went upstairs and wrote all her feelings down. They were raw and uninhibited, and for the first time, she realized that maybe there were wounds between them that had never healed. Aelin’s eyes finally fell shut just as the first rays of dawn peeked over the horizon. And it was nearly noon by the time she woke up to Lysandra tapping her shoulder.

“Hey,” she whispered.

“Hi,” Aelin startled, looking at the clock and cringing a bit. She’d slept half the day away.

“It’s still raining, so we’re going to head to the arcade, did you want to come? Or do you want to chill here?” Lys asked. “We just didn’t want to leave without telling you.”

Aelin shook the last vestiges of sleep off and sat up slowly, stretching her arms overhead. “No, I’m up. I’ll come.”

Lys left her to get ready, and despite feeling groggy as hell, Aelin didn’t bother to do anything other than get dressed for the day and tie her long blonde hair into two neat braids.

The arcade was only a few minute drive away, but in her typical spot in Rowan’s passenger seat, it somehow felt a thousand years long. She’d tried to get into Manon’s car, but Aedion had practically shoved her into the jeep. By the time they arrived at the arcade, Aelin felt shaky with tension. Honestly, she felt like she could somehow run a marathon and easily fall over all at the same time. She wasn’t sure what to do with the mass amounts of adrenaline and nerves coursing through her, but luckily, the group decided they wanted to do bumper cars first, which was an excellent outlet for her stress.

As she shoved her car into the side of Rowan’s car, making him crash into the back of Dorian’s and causing a giant pile up, Aelin was feeling pretty great. She felt even better as she and Dorian went head to head for a Just Dance battle that she fully nailed. But her anxiety came back tenfold when the group decided to end the day with an epic laser tag battle, putting her and Rowan as team captains.

She glared at Lys, who had divied them up, but her friend never looked her way, ignoring her as they split up to “strategize.”

“Okay, Captain,” Manon said, slapping Aelin’s shoulder. “What’s our battle tactic?”

. . .

It turned out that Aelin was an excellent laser tag player. She eliminated the competition with a swift efficiency, like she was born for it. She took Aedion out first, since he was unpredictable and athletic. Then, Lys, who tried to stay camouflaged in the corners of the complex castle-shaped course, but she spotted her darting across one turret and took her out, too. Manon turned out to be a great wing-woman, too, keeping Aelin’s sides safe from the other side’s onslaught of attacks.

“On your left!” Manon hissed, causing Aelin to jump directly out of Rowan’s laser’s range. She was about to stick her tongue out when Manon gasped and fell to the ground. “Nooooo, I’ve been shot!” she gasped dramatically. “It was a coordinated attack! Get Chaol! Then save yourself!” she shouted.

Rowan stalked closer, but Aelin darted into a corner, out of sight, managing to take out Chaol in a surprise move. But without her defenses, her team started dropping like flies. Elide and Dorian were quickly eliminated, leaving just Aelin and Rowan in the course by themselves.

“Come on out, Ace,” he said. “You can’t hide from me forever.”

“Can too!” she shouted. But saying anything was a mistake, he followed her voice, and she narrowly darted out of range from his laser. “Too close,” she muttered, crouching on the ground and scaling the shadows of the walls again.

She spotted his glowing swath of hair under the black lights and attempted to target him, but it was as if he knew where she was at all times. They could feel each other’s eyes, even in the dark, as if there were some invisible thread tethering them together. No matter where she hid, he found her, and same for him. She didn’t know how long the game had gone on, until there was a flashing light overhead.

“Your game is ending in five minutes,” a speaker said overhead. Whoops. They’d used the entire hour and a half.

“Just call it a truce, and let’s go,” Manon whined. “I’m ready for dinner.”

There was a rumbling of agreement on the sidelines, but Aelin refused to call a truce. Stealthily, she snuck against the wall, tracking his every movement, until she knew she had him cornered. It was only when Rowan’s laser hit her target that she realized he’d known she was there the whole time, luring her into his trap.

“UGH!” she said, throwing down her laser as the lights came back on. “You couldn’t have just let me win?”

She knew she was being a sore loser, but she ignored Rowan’s outstretched hand, saying good game. But when she saw his lips tug down, she felt like crying again.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “Can we talk?”

His eyes lit up. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “But food first?”

She’d thought they were going to stay at the arcade for dinner, but apparently the restaurant was attached to a bar, and Aedion suggested they take pizza home instead. Although she was ravenous, by the time they got back to the beach house, Aelin just wanted to get through this conversation. She held Rowan’s hand, stopping him from exiting the jeep with everyone else, but luckily, he got the idea immediately.

“Okay,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Why’d you do it?”

Rowan’s jaw loosened slightly. “We’re just jumping right in?”

“Yup.” She twirled the end of one of her braids nervously. “So… why?”

Rowan sighed. “I think you’re going to be madder when I tell you why.”

Aelin’s shoulders tensed. “That’s okay.”

“Okay,” Rowan continued, steeling himself. “I know that I’ve told you to take your time telling me things, but… after what happened with your mom…” He paused. “I can feel you shutting me out. And I just wanted to know what the hell was going on in there,” he said, tapping the side of her head. “And I guess I read a bad page, but it just seemed to confirm everything I thought. That you had given up on us, that we weren’t meant to be together.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve loved you for so long… and I stupidly thought that we got past all the bad stuff and we would share everything, but it just felt like we were in the bad stuff again.”

Aelin took a deep breath and hummed, processing his words. As predicted, her anger had melted away with each of his words, but she was left with a raw and gaping hurt instead. “I need you to understand that it’s okay for me to have a private space to think through my feelings, Ro.” She paused. “That journal is like my therapist. It’s seen all the highs and lows and everything in between. And… I wish that you had just asked me what was wrong, instead of going behind my back. Just because we’re in love and share ourselves with each other doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. That journal is a hard limit.”

“I can see that now,” he admitted, running his hands through his hair, making it even more disheveled than it was before. “And I get it, I really do. I just… wanted to know how you were really doing.”

“I will always tell you how I’m really doing,” Aelin said. “It might not be immediately every time, but I will.” She leaned forward and laced her fingers with his.

“I think maybe I’m still figuring out what our boundaries are,” Rowan said. “Sometimes I think I know everything about you, and then other times you’re a complete mystery to me.”

“Isn’t that part of the fun?”

He squeezed her hand. “I’m really, really sorry. I jumped to conclusions and was a stupid idiot, and I’ll never ever ever do it again.”

Aelin scoffed. “You’d better fucking not, or I’ll wear another week’s worth of nightgowns and refuse to let you touch me.”

Rowan chuckled softly. “That was cruel.” He paused. “Are we okay?”

“If you’re asking if you can touch me in my nightgown tonight, then the answer is yes,” she said with a small smile.

He leaned forward and kissed her softly, and she could feel both their anger dissipate with each press of his lips. With a sigh, he leaned his forehead against hers. Because she knew that wasn’t what he was asking.

“Yeah, we’re okay, Ro,” she finally said, and he exhaled deeply.

But despite her words, that night and for the rest of the week, when Rowan slid his hand beneath the silk and lace of her nightgowns, she couldn’t help but feel an uncomfortable gnawing in the pit of her stomach that perhaps too much had gone unsaid.

[manonblaqkbeak]

Time With You

Hello everybody, happy 2024!!! I'm on annual leave (that i took to read hofas lmao) and decided to use this time to right this fic that has been in the back of my head for monthsssss but i hate using my laptop so never got around to writing it until now.

it does start out with Aedion's POV, something i dont think ive ever done, but it ends with Aelin's as this is a rowaelin story lol

as always, hope you enjoy!!

cw: brief mentions of death/grief, arobynn hamel being a POS. but otherwise its purely fluff bc i love human au rowaelin fluff

word count: 1500+

Aedion couldn't stop staring at his cousin—which sounded strange, but he had a very good reason for why his eyes were glued to his cousin; Rowan Whitethorn's hand was on her bare thigh.

And why was it on her bare thigh? He had no idea.

Aedion was aware that they were talking more, had become friends instead of constantly bickering, but he wasn't at all aware that their friendship had moved to the point where Rowan was resting his hand on Aelin's thigh.

And Aelin seemed to like the fact that it was there. He knew his cousin as if she was his sister—if she didn't want that touch, then she would remove it and bite Rowan's head off. It wasn't like she was a stranger doing that. One of their first conversations when Aelin had started at Orynth University had been a verbal spat; Rowan bumped into her and when Aelin asked for an apology, Rowan claimed that she had been in the way and that she should apologise to him.

And so that one conversation started years worth of petty arguments and forced proximity due to Aedion's friendship with the silver-haired man.

“Stop staring,” Lysandra hissed under her breath.

Aedion turned to his fiancee, and frowned. “How long has that been going on for?” He hoped that his cousin and Rowan couldn't hear him. All of their friends were at their local pub, the best way to catch up these days, the air outside in the courtyard refreshing after being inside a stuffy office. And when everyone got there, they had found that Rowan and Aelin were already there, occupying a tall table with stools—with only enough room for the both of them. And when everyone else went to the long benches that they always sat at, Aelin and Rowan stayed at their own table, talking amongst themselves.

“They've been talking for a while,” Lysandra said, her emerald green eyes sparkling from the warm fairy-lights strung up around the place.

Aedion's frown deepened. “What does that mean?”

Just then, Rowan stood up, the menu from the restaurant behind them in his hand, his wallet in his other and he leaned over and kissed Aelin on her cheek.

Aelin's smile was brighter than the sun.

“Since when does Rowan kiss Aelin?” Aedion asked his eyes about to drop out from their sockets and his confusion growing even more. He and Aelin were as close as siblings, but he could admit to himself that he did feel a little hurt that Aelin hadn't told him of this development.

With Rowan out of sight, Lysandra and Elide shot up out of their seats and made their way towards Aelin. Aedion followed after them, even though Elide said, “Women only, cousin.” Aedion didn't listen and stood next to Lysandra, patiently waiting for his cousin to speak.

XXXXX

It was a little embarrassing to admit it, even to herself, but with the moment Rowan put his hand on her bare thigh, all thoughts but one disappeared.

Aelin liked Rowan, a lot.

And when Rowan got up to order their dinner—and was insisting on paying for her—Aelin forgot that all their friends were only a few feet away, that there were strangers surrounding them, that live music was being played, but when he got up and left, and her friends and cousin were in front of her, asking question after question, Aelin had to mentally slap herself out of the stupor she found herself in and asked Aedion to repeat his question, but only because he was the one who spoke last.

“Are you and Rowan dating?”

“No, not yet.” And Gods, maybe it sounded pathetic, which she hated sounding, but she hoped that they would soon move on from this weird-limbo thing that found themselves in and would start seeing each other properly.

“When did you start liking him like that?”

Aelin shrugged, if only because it was too long of a story to get into right now. “I'll message you about it later.”

Aedion raised his eyebrow. “You promise?”

Aelin huffed a laughed when he extended his pinkie finger, his fathers ring gleaming in the fairy-lights. “I promise,” she said, wrapping her pinkie around his. “Now go, all of you, Rowan's coming back.” They all rolled their eyes at her, but did what she said and soon, Aelin found herself face-to-face with Rowan again.

XXXXX

Aelin was glad she left her car at her apartment, finding that the evening was nice and breezy without being too cold, because it meant that Rowan walked her home and held her hand the entire time. Her smile was so wide she knew that she would still feel it hours later.

Gods, she couldn't remember the last time she had been so...giddy about someone. Maybe in the beginning stages with Chaol, before their relationship fizzled out and they both realised that they were better off as friends (and they very much were; sometimes it was like they never dated for two years and lived together for one).

But this beginning with Rowan, it felt different. She didn't want to think too much of it, but Aelin...she thought to herself that it would be very easy to fall in love with him. How funny life was to go from heavily disliking him, to holding his hand weeks after she found in the park near the beach, his eyes teary as he sat in silence, his grief consuming him over the death of his late girlfriend, Lyria.

Aelin found herself at that same park due to her own grief over the deaths of her parents. They had been gone for years and years, but the time living under the harsh and cruel roof of her foster parent, Arobynn Hamel, still lingered, may always linger, as her therapist told her, but it was up to Aelin to decide what to do with those emotional and mental scars.

And they found themselves talking about their grief, their lives and wishes for their futures. He walked her home after that as well, and their friendship had changed after that, for which she was very grateful for—that there was someone else like her that dealt with dark thoughts and feelings, but was fighting each day to overcome them.

Shaking off the thought, Aelin blinked and realised that she and Rowan were just a couple of moments away from the front doors of her apartment building.

Rowan dropped her off at her front door, the scent of her favourite diffuser—camellia and lotus flower—greeting her as she opened her front door. Rowan cleared his throat and Aelin turned to him.

“It's your weekend off, isn't it?” he asked, his Doranelle accent still quite thick even after living in Terrasen for years now.

“Yes.” She was assistant manager of Havilliard Books. She and Dorian, one of her oldest friends and store manager, long ago worked out a schedule that worked amazingly for them both. And not only was she assistant manager, but she handled their stores personal Instagram page, and because Dorian's father owned the multiple stores throughout the continent, Dorian made sure that she received extra payment for keeping their page up to date and inviting.

“Did you have any plans this weekend?”

“No, I'm free all day.” She usually reserved Sunday for an apartment clean, but fuck that. She could clean later.

Rowan smile, his facial tattoo crinkling slightly. It was a work of art, that tattoo, the Old Language of Doranelle was stark against his golden-tanned skin.

“How about I finally take you out on a proper date? Starting from the moment I arrive here tomorrow morning and it ending whenever you want?”

Aelin's smile grew impossibly more. “I would very much like that.”

Rowan's smile grew too. “Good, then I'll see you tomorrow, Aelin. I am very much looking forward to it.”

Aelin reached up and kissed his cheek like he had kissed hers earlier. “I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for walking me home. Goodnight, Rowan.”

“Goodnight, Aelin, I'll see you tomorrow, how does nine sound?”

“That sounds good.” And as an early riser—even on her days off—it would give her plenty of time to get ready.

“Okay, I'll see you then.” He kissed the top of her hand, reminding her of her favourite romance stories and waited until she was inside and locked the door behind her to leave.

A whoosh of air left Aelin and she found herself humming to her favourite classical pieces. She did end up cleaning her apartment, finding that she had too much energy to have a shower and go to bed, and as she cleaned, she called Aedion, telling her cousin of her budding relationship with Rowan. Her cousin was ecstatic for her, even as he promised to kick his arse if Rowan hurt her—although Aelin told her meddlesome cousin that she could very much do that herself, as she took self-defense classes at her gym and had the toned and muscled body to prove it.

Afterwards, as she lay in bed, she and Rowan texted each other until Aelin's eyes started drooping, her last message only half-written, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face, ready for tomorrow.

[shallyne]

Daylight

This is my very first tog fic (that isn't a crackship) and my very first rowaelin fic and also my very first entry for @throneofglassmicrofics and for my dearest @timesconvert || I hope you'll like it!

This is a song fic based on Taylor Swift's song Daylight

Words: 818

TW: triggering canon scenes mentioned!

Aelin looked at Rowan, really looked at him as he talked to Fenrys and realised once again how lucky they were to be here. How much shit they went through to even get to this point at all and how far they’ve come since they first met, how fate hat fucked them up so thoroughly that they still healed and Aelin realized right then how lucky she was to be able to heal, right beside her mate. What an honour it was to not only be able to have him at her side but to be there for him, too, at his side. Yes she looked at Rowan because Rowan was what she could look at and what she wanted to look at. She saw him and he saw her, she never wanted anything to change about that.He loved her, saw through all her faults, the lines she had crossed in the past to survive, her saw her and he loved her,

She still felt guilt about how easily she had trusted Arobynn, how trusting Arobynn was her only chance at survival at only 8 years older but especially that she had harboured hope that he wasn’t the cruel man she had witnessed over and over again, how he had failed her last test in trust but Rowan...he still loved her throughout her misplaced hope in Arobynn and every fucked up thing she had to do to get them where they were now, to get to a peaceful life.After they went through so much darkness, through endless nights, he was the light at the end of the tunnel. Rowan was her daylight, the breaking of dawn. He had helped her leave the young assassin behind and step into the role of Queen of Terrasen.

Yes, Aelin finally was out of the dark, thanks to her beautiful mate and she finally had the peace to take the time to look at him and appreciate him and love him.

Although there were nights they took a long, long time to appreciate each other it was something different to look at him now. How his posture had become relaxed, how the darkness had left his eyes, less haunted than ever, and his sassy remarks, Aelin huffed a laugh that had both fae males looking over their shoulder. She waved for them to continue their conversation, a smile glued to her face. Yes, his sassy remarks definitely increased, but she couldn’t blame him, it was the very same for herself.

After what felt like twenty years full of darkness, he was her daylight and Aelin liked to believe he felt the same about her.

The darkness was finally over.

Fenrys sighed after Rowan clapped him on his shoulder, he turned around, mocking a bow and bid her goodbye. Aelin stuck out her tongue before Fenrys had fully turned, and saw a hint of a smirk as Rowan walked towards her, the sun shining behind him, making him look like there was a golden glow around him.

After Sam, she hadn’t believed she would ever find a love so all consuming that her whole body would react to everything, but here she was, her mouth drying up at the beauty of her mate.

“Are you done with your broody male conversations?” she asked, picking at her nails.

Rowan plopped down beside her, his familiar pine and snow scent enveloping them. “You can’t really call two people a club, can you?”

Aelin shrugged, turning her face and cherishing the sunlight. “No but you probably planned another broody fae male meeting where you talk about…well…broody fae male stuff.”

Rowan huffed amused and she felt how he leaned closer. “What have you laughed about earlier?” he asked, his voice quiet and deep,

Aelin hid her shudder at the pleasure that brought his voice and turned her head towards her mate, meeting his beautiful green eyes. “Wouldn’t you like to know, buzzard?” Rowan only raised a brow, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, “I was just...I’m happy.” she admitted. Happy that she now could live a life where she could choose what she wanted. That she could be defined by the things she loved, not the things she hated. She wouldn’t be defined by the things that she was afraid of or the things that still haunted her in the middle of the night. They would be defined by the things that they love, they would become the people that made them happy.

“Me too.” Rowan said and although he wasn’t a man of big words, she saw the emotions in his eyes.He knew what she thought and he agreed.

Rowan stretched his hand out, for Aelin to take, and she did. He pulled her up and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Then they began walking, into the bright future that awaited them. Full of laughter and life and light.

[highqueenofelfhame]

rowaelin // 5.3k words // ciwyw mastlist // playlist // masterlist

It had been a frustrating day to begin with. After failing to sleep for more than a collective two hours the night before, Rowan had tried to carry on with his day like he would any other Sunday. The conversation with Aelin, and more importantly her response, pounding with every slap of his shoes against the treadmill. Not even a full leg-day workout could dispel the dreadful, anxious energy brewing at the forefront of his mind. 

Lorcan had showed up at the house early in the afternoon and chewed his ass out for the red card. He was fully in Team Captain mode for the full lecture, barely letting Rowan get a word in edgewise. At some point he gave up on defending himself and let Lorcan get his rant out. Once he was finished, he’d flopped onto Rowan’s couch and gestured vaguely with his hands.

“Alright. Your turn. Talk about it.”

“I already told you I was sor–” He’d started, hands bracing his knees as he debated groveling on his knees for Lorcan to let up. It had been a long enough weekend and he couldn’t handle another half hour. Sure, he deserved being called a stupid, selfish bastard, but he was tired. There wasn’t much left for him to say other than he was sorry, and he’d already done that multiple times.

“I’m not talking about the match. The girl. Something’s bothering you, so talk. The other idiots aren’t here to give you shit about it.” The man had a point. Without everyone else there to make subtle digs, it was easier for him to nod his head and dive headfirst into the clusterfuck of a situation he was in with Aelin. 

To his credit, Lorcan listened to every word until it was all laying before them like a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces were hard to put together because there were about a million of them, all tiny, and several of them were missing entirely. Rowan couldn’t find the corners and didn’t know which way was up or down. Lorcan listened anyway. The migraine that had been coming on for the last few hours hit in full force when Lorcan compared it all to a fucking onion. 

“Give her space. Give her time. The shit with Lyria is a lot to unpack on its own. Add into it that you’ve found yourself in a similar, however different, situation with Aelin… it would be a lot for anyone. It’s an onion, mate. Shit has fucking layers to it.” Rowan had given him a flat look that caused Lorcan to raise his hands in front of his chest. “I’m just saying. Might also be a lesson to check the expirations on those rubbers before you use them, too. Twice in one lifetime? You are one unlucky bastard.”

“You’re not helping,” Rowan glowered, eyes narrowed into little slits. Even if it was good advice, it didn’t do him a lick of good at this point. So much for not getting any shit about this.

“What brand did you use? I need to avoid those fuckers like the plague.”

“Lorcan,” Rowan sighed exasperatedly, all ten fingers raking through his hair until it was a mess of tangles. 

“Just give her the space she asked for, Ro. She told you what to do. So do it.”

“It’s hard to give her space when I just want to be with her all the time,” he finally admitted, slumping back against the sofa. The position did nothing to help the throbbing in his head, but he didn’t move. 

“I really need to meet this woman if she has you, of all people, wound so tight you look like you’re about to explode,” Lorcan said with the shake of his head. “Do you think she’s worth all the trouble?” 

Rowan didn’t have to think about it. The answer was a huge, resounding yes. She was worth fighting for. He said as much and Lorcan nodded, eyes focused on the empty fireplace. 

“For what it’s worth… I’ve never seen you as happy as you are when you talk about her. Don’t get me wrong, until she cuts you a break and gives you a real chance, she’s on my shit-list. But she makes you happy. I’ve never seen you this way about a woman and I think… I think she pulls out the best parts of you.” Lorcan’s confession made Rowan’s chest feel a little tight. “Except for when she’s the reason you’re so pissed off you get carded.”

They had both shared a quiet laugh at that, then spent the rest of the evening sipping beer and watching the major sports channels for highlights of the other games that happened over the weekend. 

Hours later, Rowan truly was about to explode. Sleep was already hard to find despite scouring every drawer and pocket in his brain. When his phone pinged, hope had swelled that it was Aelin. As much as he loved to see her smiling face lighting up his phone, it was not what he had in mind. 

Rowan Whitethorn liked to think of himself as a man with self control and reason. Amongst his teammates he was known for being level-headed, someone that thought things through and didn’t jump the gun. To his core, he always had been those things– until he met Aelin Galathynius, and he was unraveling quicker than a dropped spool of thread. 

You know, the one that rolled under the bed and there was no hope of getting it back unless you kept pulling on the string. The spool would re-emerge from the shadows once the thread was in a mess of a knot at your feet and there was absolutely no hope of getting it wrapped back around its little home neatly. In fact, you might even scrap the whole thing and throw it in the garbage because the reward didn’t outweigh the tedious task at hand. 

Rowan felt like that unraveled spool of thread as he stared at his phone screen at two in the morning, the simple plastic phone case groaning under the pressure of his white-knuckled grip. The edges of his vision were hazy because he hadn’t blinked a single time since he saw the picture that Fenrys sent him. 

Mala fucking help him, he was going to murder his teammate. A brutal, bloody murder. Rowan had never been so sure that he was going to end up in fucking jail. 

Aelin was radiant– something that had been missing from her the last time he saw her. The woman in the picture was exactly the woman that had ripped his heart from his chest before he even knew what was happening. The more muted version he’d had over the weekend still held his throbbing, bleeding heart. But the woman beaming in the photo was the one who stole it in the first place. 

Her hair was down, the golden waves cascading over her shoulders and out of frame. With rose-kissed cheeks and plump, sensual lips spread wide in one of the smiles she used to give him, she was devastating. A little tipsy from his afternoon with Lorcan, Rowan had to physically restrain himself from tracing the shape of her mouth with his fingers. Gods, when did he become such a sap?

The first photo was just her. A tiny cocktail straw was between her teeth, eyes closed from the force of her smile. Her eyelashes seemed to graze the top of her cheeks they were so long. Because of the angle of the photo, taken from a lower, upturned angle, one of the golden lightbulbs gave her a halo. It was fitting, because she was a fucking angel. 

>> She’s even more beautiful in person. 

Rowan knew that. He was well aware of how fucking beautiful she was. But why did Fenrys know that? Why was he discovering the truth of it at two in the godsdamn morning? 

>> What the fuck? 

<< I mean, if you’re not going to, she should get it from somewhere. You haven’t had sex in her bed yet, have you?

>> Fenrys I swear to the fucking gods if you touch her I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.

The picture that followed made him want to throw his phone across the room and hope it shattered into a million pieces he couldn’t put back together. Someone across the table had taken it, probably Connall if he had to guess. Aelin’s arm was around Fenrys’s neck and they were cheek to cheek with matching smiles. Mischief was wild in Fen’s eyes while Aelin just looked… happy. 

And then he noticed, just at the edge of the picture, how low on her hip his godsdamn hand was and he thought he was going to lose his mind. Yep. He was definitely going to be arrested for homicide in a few hours. The mugshot would be in every newspaper in the country, across the world, and he didn’t care. 

>> She’s just wearing minty lip balm. My face will be nothing but hydrated and tasty.

<< You motherfucker

>> Well… not yet 😉

And then Fenrys stopped replying. 

The self-control and level-headedness he had once prided himself in was nowhere to be seen. He tried to pull on the thread of his sanity, to tell himself it didn’t matter, that all of this was fine. Yet every time he looked back at the screen, every muscle and tendon in his body was so taught it felt as though one movement would have them all in ribbons. 

Rowan hadn’t ever had a relationship where he felt the need to protect as much as he did with Aelin. Maybe it was partially because of the baby, but a roaring silence filled his head at the thought of her with another man, least of all Fenrys fucking Moonbeam. If Fenrys respected any kind of friendship code, he wouldn’t even act like he was thinking about toeing that line. 

It felt stupid. They were barely dating and only knew the tip of the iceberg with each other. Still, there was something so different with her. For the first time in almost a decade, he had let his guard down. There were no mile high cement walls around his heart with nowhere to grasp to climb up and over. He was just Rowan, an unopened book with unexplored pages begging to be read.  

It was highly unlikely that he was the only person that found himself inexplicably drawn to her. She was sweeter and more intoxicating than any drug, than any brand of alcohol money could buy.  Aelin Galathynius had the energy of someone that you just wanted to taste once, because once she was gone you wouldn’t experience anything like her ever again. Coming so close to losing her, Rowan was keenly aware of that fact, and he wasn’t sure how he would ever move on if they didn’t really give themselves the chance to explore it. They were opposite ends of two very strong magnets. It was impossible that she didn’t feel that, too. 

Rowan Whitethorn didn’t open up to just anybody. He didn’t let people in. Aelin wasn’t just a fluke. He was absolutely sure of it. 

The thoughts wouldn’t stop chattering through his brain. Words flashed behind his closed eyelids a thousand miles a minute, leaving nothing but explosions of stars and colors where he tried to rub them away. Every time he looked at his phone, the desire to get in his car and drive to Aelin’s grew stronger and stronger. It was becoming an itch that he couldn’t he couldn’t ignore, and once the sun finally started to peek in through his blinds, he was rolling out of bed and nearly running to shower and change clothes. 

By the time eight rolled around, he had forced a small bowl of cereal down his throat and downed what was probably too many cups of coffee. By eight-fifteen, Rowan was in his car and speeding toward the highway to Varese with something that belonged to Aelin sitting in his front seat. 

~*~

Rowan felt… Well, he felt insane. 

Not for the first time, he was asking himself what the fuck he was doing as he knocked on the door to Aelin’s apartment. At several red lights through the city, he debated going home. Halfway up the staircase, he had paused and gone down three steps, only to turn around and march right back up and to her door. The echoing of his fist on the wood had him hesitating once again, wondering if he should just get in his car and go home. He had no clue what he was doing here, besides just needing to see her and make sure that both she and the baby were okay, regardless of her late night activities. 

That’s what he was telling himself, anyway. 

In the ten agonizing seconds it took for him to head footsteps from inside her apartment, he almost turned and bolted. Rowan was well aware that he was being a territorial fool. Evidently there was no reasoning with that very stupid and very irrational part of his brain, even as the clicking and sliding of locks had him wondering how quickly he could make it down a flight of stairs without being caught. 

“Oh,” came her surprised voice, wide eyes and raised brows to match. It was his very favorite version of Aelin that opened the door. All of her golden hair was in a messy knot on the top of her head, a few pieces framing her face. Much to his satisfaction, he realized she was wearing the shirt he’d told her she could keep a few days prior. A pair of little black shorts peeked out from the hem, and the long expanse of her bare legs had him almost forgetting why he was there in the first place. “What are you doing here?”

Her voice brought his eyes back to her face. There was no evidence of the makeup she’d had on the night before and though he could tell by looking at her that she was exhausted, he could also see that she had at least a few hours of good sleep. The skin around her eyes was a little puffy and a few lines were tattooed on her cheeks from her pillow or the blanket. 

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I’ve been awake for like half an hour. Just haven't gotten to dragging myself out of bed yet since I’m not going to the office today.” Right. It was Monday. In his hazy stupor, Rowan had entirely forgotten that she should have been going to work.

“Are you too sick today?” Rowan was immediately on edge, searching her face and body for any sign of what would keep her from working. There was no point– she was downright glowing today. A healthy blush heated her cheeks and he could almost make out the small smattering of freckles across her nose from where he stood across the threshold. 

“No,” she said simply. “I feel really good today, actually. You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here, Rowan?”

“You forgot your toothbrush at my house,” he said lamely, patting at his pockets. Fuck. “It was purple? I left it in my car.”

“I did leave it at your house because that’s the one you bought for me to keep there.” There was laughter in her words as she spoke, like she was bringing up an inside joke they’d made. Mirth danced in her brilliant turquoise eyes despite her face contorting with confusion as she asked again, her tone softer this time, “What are you doing here, Rowan?”

What a loaded fucking question. He sure as hell didn’t know. How many times on the way here had he asked himself the same thing? 

He didn’t have to answer it directly, though, because he realized her shower was running down the hall. Before he could stop himself he blurted, “Is that Fenrys?” 

“Fen– what?” There was so much disbelief in her voice, but she started laughing. “You drove all the way up here to see if Fenrys spent the night with me?” 

Rowan wasn’t sure if the laughter was a good thing or a bad thing. It was impossible to tell if she was laughing at him for being so stupid he thought he had any right to know about her private life when he wasn’t around, or if she was laughing because the idea was so stupid and he had nothing to be worried about. He was inclined to think it was the former, because even though Fenrys liked to rile him up, he didn’t know if he would push Rowan quite so hard.

“Hey, bub? You hungry?” A voice, one that was distinctly not Fenrys’s shouted from the bathroom. In that one, tiny pet name, Rowan’s entire heart sank through the floor. If he looked down, he was sure he would be standing in a puddle of his own blood. The world had gone very quiet, his fingers suddenly freezing as he stuffed them into his pockets.

“Yes,” she called back, her eyes not leaving Rowan’s face.

Aelin was seeing someone else. It wasn’t a thought that had ever occurred to him until those texts from Fenrys, but now it was glaringly obvious. She had already said once that their relationship wasn’t supposed to turn into anything serious. Had she been seeing other men the whole time? It wasn’t like they’d ever talked about being exclusive in any shape or form. They had plenty of time away from each other. He never would have known. It couldn’t even be considered cheating. 

“Rowan,” she said, bottom lip tucked between her teeth to swallow her smile.

“I’ll… I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to the guy in the shower,” he half-mumbled, crossing his arms to hide his shaking hands. 

And then she was well and truly laughing. It was a bright, melodious sound that under any other circumstance, he would have loved to pull out of her, to bottle up and get drunk on it whenever he pleased.. But right here, right now? Rowan was fucking gutted, and she was giggling like he’d said the funniest thing in the world. 

Rowan had just turned to start walking away when she collected herself enough to say, “You mean my cousin?” 

Time stopped. His blood was pumping in reverse to turn back the clock, to take everything he’d just said and wipe it from existence. Even his movements felt slower as he looked at her, fire licking up his neck and covering his face. The tips of his ears would be nearly purple and if he walked out into the humid air, his body would be steaming. She could probably feel the heat of his body from where she stood in the doorway. 

Rowan had never been so fucking embarrassed in his entire life. 

“Yeah, I– I am so sorry. I’ll talk to you later,” he grumbled, turning on his heel to make his swift exit and go die in peace. Recovery wasn’t an option. There was absolutely no coming back from this. 

~*~

The plan with Fenrys had either gloriously backfired, or he put much more into the prank than expected. She made a mental note to text him about that later, but there wasn’t time for that now. 

Aelin stepped through the door and caught Rowan’s hand before he was too far away. He felt feverish, like his immune system was trying to burn out the embarrassment before it could settle too much. It took a lot of tugging but he stopped trying to escape her presence. His footsteps were heavy on the old wood floors as she dragged him back toward her apartment.

“I really just want to go,” he told her, tattooed fingers sliding through his hair. It was down for once, not braided or tied out of his face. 

“Look at me.” But he wouldn’t. Green eyes stayed glued to a spot well above her head, looking at anything but her. Yes, it had been funny that he thought that Aedion was a random hookup. But the devastation on his face had done nothing but wreck her in return. The laughter was partially an involuntary response to an awkward situation, but also because it was cute that he was so worried about it. Rowan had absolutely nothing to be worried about. 

“Aelin–” The more she reached for him, the more he leaned away. He took one step back and she took one forward, refusing to let him leave while so upset. Aelin reached up, her cool hands resting on his warm cheeks as she gently guided his face to look at her. Before he could protest or slip further from her grasp, she rocked up onto her tiptoes and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips. All ten of his fingers were shaking when they came to rest on her hips and it broke her heart. 

“Take a breath,” she whispered, sliding her hands down his neck and over his chest. Rowan’s eyes were still closed as he rested his warm forehead against her own, but he obeyed. “Fenrys was just fucking with you. Clearly he took it way too far and I am so sorry. We will most definitely be having words about that.” 

Before he could respond, from the depths of her apartment Aedion once again shouted for her and Rowan’s hands flexed on her hips. Aelin sighed and grabbed his hands, walking backwards with him until they were inside. Her fingertips were able to reach around him to push the door shut, sealing him inside with her. 

“Aedion, can you shut the fuck up and come out here and talk to me like a normal person? You’re freaking out my boyfriend and he’s been through enough for today.” Aedion’s hurried footsteps down the hall and the click of his door shutting was the only response she was given, likely to hurry and dress for their sudden company. 

Rowan looked inclined to agree with her sentiments, but didn’t say anything as she walked to the kitchen to get him some water. There was something off about him, and not just because of the trauma Fenrys had inflicted on him, nor the embarrassment that still stained his cheeks. He seemed almost… dim. All of the energy he’d had mere moments ago was vanishing before her eyes. His posture was a deflated balloon hovering inches from the ground a week after the party. 

“Are you hungry?” She asked, taking his hand and guiding him to the couch. Rowan shrugged as she nudged for him to sit in the corner while she curled onto the middle cushion beside him, her legs leaning against his thigh. If anything, she hoped it would ground him from the hell he’d been dragged through in the last few hours. “When was the last time you slept?”

Rowan exhaled, his cheeks puffing out with the gust of air. Dark circles haunted the skin beneath his eyes, which were bloodshot, making the green of them all the more piercing. Aelin frowned at his lack of response, tugging on his sleeve until he looked at her. 

“The fact that it’s taking you so long to figure it out tells me enough.” As though they couldn’t help themselves, despite her telling him she needed space, her traitorous fingers reached out and brushed his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s been a few days,” He admitted, attempting to rub the tiredness away with his thumb and forefinger. “And my head is fucking killing me.”

“Let’s eat some breakfast and then we can nap, yeah? I’d tuck you in right now but I’m starving and I think you probably need to eat a bit, too.” 

A crease appeared between his eyebrows, lips pursing into a line as he looked over at her and said, “Is that… okay? You said you wanted space. I’m not exactly giving it to you by showing up like this.” 

“Considering I’ve barely been awake for an hour and could already use a nap, I’m going to go with yes. Besides, I do want you to meet Aedion while he’s here.” Thank the gods, his lips quirked into a small smile. Relief fluttered through her chest. She had never been so happy to see somebody smile at her before. 

Just as he opened his mouth to respond, however, Aedion’s door opened and he appeared in the archway to the hall. Aelin looked over at her cousin with a look that threatened violence if he tried the man beside her even a little too hard. Much to her surprise, Aedion gave a short nod before walking closer to the couch.

“Aedion, meet Rowan. Rowan, this is Aedion.” Aelin was a little surprised that Rowan mustered the muscle power to stand and shake hands. “Rowan is very tired so save the groveling for later, please.”

“I think you should be telling him to save my ass-kicking for later,” Rowan amended, sitting back on the couch. Aelin grinned as he looked over at her. “I can assume you told him what I’ve done.” 

“And that you’re very sorry,” she added sweetly, but her glance at Aedion was sharp as a dagger. Though his mouth had opened, likely to throw his own little quip into the sparring ring, it shut immediately.

“We’ll talk about it another time,” Aedion said simply, dropping onto the sofa beside Aelin with enough force that she bounced. She scowled at him, her hand immediately going to cover her stomach. “What are we eating?” 

Half an hour later they had brunch delivered to the apartment, the three of them sitting knee to knee on the couch. The sofa in question had been chosen for the luxurious aesthetic it provided, but she made a mental note to look at sectionals. There was no way she could have any other visitors with only this and the overstuffed chair in the corner for seating. 

Though he said a few things here and there, most of the conversation was Aelin and Aedion’s casual banter. While they did talk a little bit about the game he was carded in and what he expected for the rest of the season, as the conversation went on Rowan seemed to keep drawing further and further into himself. His broad shoulders were caved in and that wrinkle between his eyebrows got deeper and deeper. It looked like it was taking an astronomical amount of effort to keep his eyes open.

When they finished, Aelin and Rowan settled back against the couch while Aedion cleaned everything up. She had intended to just check a few emails before getting Rowan to bed, but he dozed comically fast. The email was half-read when she locked her phone and contemplated the best way to wake him gently. 

“This is the man that got the first red-card of his career for being so fucking pissed on Friday?” Aedion asked incredulously. 

“So it would seem.”

“You’ve never seen him play–” But Aelin cut him off with a shake of her head.

“I have. I watched the game until he got kicked out and then drove to Doranelle.”

“Before that,” his hand cut through the air, dismissing her. Aelin gave him a flat look before looking back at the man snoozing beside her. “He’s a demon, Aelin. When he’s on the field every move is calculated and with purpose. His face is always harsh and his body is always locked and loaded for the next play. Yet here he is, falling asleep on your couch with his mouth open. He might start drooling.” Aedion put his hands on his knees and leaned forward to get a closer look. 

Aelin grinned, eyes cutting back to Aedion. She couldn’t help it. “Be nice, he’s getting old.”

She knew it was true. Ever since uncovering the truth about his job, she had spent an embarrassing amount of time watching highlight videos of his career online. Every photo she saw that was snapped mid-match, his face was all hard lines and angles like he was in the middle of a battlefield fighting for his life. On the soccer pitch, he looked like a warrior that had been honed for battle. Here, on her couch asleep,  he just looked like Rowan. The real Rowan, and she was pretty sure not many people saw this side of him. 

“He looks younger like this,” he observed, eyes squinting as if he could see the soccer persona in his face if he tried hard enough. It was nowhere to be seen, though.

“Probably because he isn’t awake to frown at me.”

“Yeah, no way this is the same guy that fought his way to a red-card before halftime,” Aedion concluded. Aelin snorted, her hand flying to her mouth to muffle the sound. Rowan didn’t so much as twitch. 

“I’m pretty sure he almost cried when he heard you yell at me from the bathroom. He thought…” Involuntary giggles bubbled through her chest and out of her mouth, “He thought you were a hookup from last night.”

“That’s gross.” Aedion’s lips were downturned as he straightened, arms folding across his chest. “He almost cried?”

“That’s where it gets not-so- funny. Whatever Fenrys said to him really fucked him up.” She sighed then, reaching to trace his cheekbone with her fingertip. Rowan did stir then, eyes blinking rapidly as he took in a brute of a man staring down at him curiously and the feeling of Aelin’s skin on his. “Come on. Let’s go take a nap.”

In the most adorable protest of the century, Rowan started grumbling incoherently in the old language. Aelin smiled, only catching a few words here and there that equated to him insisting he wasn’t tired and they could nap later. His eyes betrayed him. They were heavy, blinking slowly and trying to roll back in his head. 

“This is one argument you sure as hell aren’t going to win.” Aelin pulled him to his feet and guided him to her room. When she plopped him onto the edge of the bed his protesting started up again. 

“What’s in it for me?” Sleepy, bleary eyes looked up at her as he refused to lay down. Aelin was standing between his legs with her hands on his shoulders, an eyebrow cocked to silently tell him he was being ridiculous.

“Besides sleeping for the first time in a couple days?” Rowan nodded, his fingertips grazing up her thighs and settling on her hips. She laughed, pushing his hair behind his ears. They would definitely be talking about his sleepless nights later.  “What do you want?”

“A kiss, please.” His response was so immediate it made her heart play hopscotch in her chest. Sleepy Rowan might just be her favorite thing in the entire world. Not even cotton candy could make her feel so light and sweet. 

“Okay, deal,” Aelin leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead. Rowan swore in the old language but laid flat on his back and let her pull the blankets over his body. 

“Should have been more specific,” he mumbled, pulling on her hand until she crawled over him to the other side of the bed and nestled into the sheets beside him. She let him pull her close until they were pressed flush together. A weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying fell from her shoulders,  replaced by his arms around her body. Aelin didn’t pull away but snuggled into him as much as she could, her face against his chest as she deeply inhaled the scent that was so completely Rowan. The scent that was home. 

“You should have,” she agreed, but Rowan was already asleep.

@elentiyawhitethornn @autumnbabylon @fancysludgeshoelamp  @wordsafterhours @live-the-fangirl-life @the-hospitality-of-knives @tangledraysofsunshine @readandlisten @westofmoon @rowanaelinn  @morganofthewildfire @writtenonreceipts @feynightlight @emster1622-blog @scarblx @thefaetrove @loveyatopluto @actuallybarb @peppermint-fae @the-devils-own @scottmcgivemeacall @livingmylifeforme  @wordsafterhours @foreverfallingforthestars @llyncooljones @emily-gsh @loosesimplicity @emilyrose111294  @charlizeed @aelinchocolatelover @cretaceous-therapod @sayosdreams @fireheart-violet @the-regal-warrior @backtobl4ck @shyvioletcat @bellasbookboyfriends @icantfindmychashma

[acourtofquestions]

“"You taught Aelin." Again, silence. Then, "Aelin is my heart. I taught her what I knew, and it worked because our magics understood each other deep down— Just as our souls did."

Dorian nodded his thanks. "The first time you met Aelin, did you know ...?"

A snort. "No. Gods, no. We wanted to kill each other." The amusement flickered. "She was ... in a very dark place. We both were. But we led each other out of it. Found a way together."”

credit: @ALICEMARIAPOWER

[throneofsapphics]

have your little girlfriend, part seven

poly!Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: Catching Aelin's eye, you quickly end up entangled between her and Rowan, forced to navigate their darker sides in your new relationship.

Warnings: included on series masterlist to avoid spoilers!

Word Count: ~4.4k

A/N: we've reached the penultimate chapter!! thank you to both @whisperingmidnights and @moonlightttfae for your support <3 (and all of you who kept motivating me and reminding me about this little story)

series masterlist

Settling next to her on the bed, Aelin ran a hand down her thigh, “Rowan and I are thinking about trying for a child.” 

The happiness she felt in that moment wasn’t faked. It was true, bright, and genuine. 

“That’s wonderful,” she breathed, reaching out and clutching Aelin’s hand gently. “Are you?” She glanced down towards her stomach

Aelin’s bright laugh tinkled through the room. “Thinking about trying, petal. You should listen more,” she chided ‘jokingly,’ but she caught the small down curve at the last syllable. 

Her mouth curled up at the corners anyway. This was something that had been hovering in the back of everyone’s minds for so long it only felt right. Now, her mind drifted to how she’d celebrate with Aelin. She glanced at the small bottle of oil on the side table. A massage would help her mate relax. Running her hands over her shoulders, she realized just how tense she was, and noticed the light bags underneath her eyes. 

Aelin read the question in her eyes. 

“There’s been a lot to … catch up on,” she said delicately. 

‘Because of you, your settling, your burden,’ her mind whirled, the voice not her own. 

“No,” Aelin said firmly, aloud. “What you’re thinking - it’s not true.” 

“You don’t know what I’m thinking,” she countered automatically. Aelin frowned and she winced, sending a silent apology. It seemed to appease her mate, especially as she reached for the oil, motioning for Aelin to turn around, eagerly complying. First, she undid the ties on the back of her tunic, letting her skin expose inch by inch, fingers running delicately over the relatively smooth skin, tracing the lines and swirls of her tattoos. 

Aelin laid down, head turned sideways to rest her cheek on the pillow. Straddling her waist, she let the oil drip directly on her back. 

Not having any training or particularly good technique, she just went for whatever drew the best reactions out of her mate. Thumbs dug into sore spots, nails scratched down lightly, gentle kisses left on shoulders, teeth nipping, dodging when Aelin’s fingers shot out to pinch in playful reprimand. 

The breaths grew longer, more ragged, less controlled. Bodies shifted to release tension, thighs rubbed together subconsciously, hands jolted, movements less smooth and controlled. 

The game reached its expiration point as Aelin flipped over, throwing her underneath and straddling her hips to pin her in place. 

Leaning down, brushing lips against her ear, “my turn,” she breathed. 

Strands of fire wrapped around her wrist, not burning but pinning them above her head. She lifted her chest, arching her back, giving her mate her favorite view. 

Aelin’s thumbs brushed over her breasts in appreciation. The touches grew firmer, a mark of exactly who was in charge. 

“So beautiful, petal,” she murmured. “I’m so lucky.” 

“We’re so lucky,” an amused voice interrupted from the back. Aelin waved him off - a half hearted dismissal, countered with a laugh and slow but purposeful steps across the room.  

Her mates locked eyes, a silent conversation she wasn’t privy to passing through. Her legs shifted, subconsciously reaching for their attention. The smiles appearing on their faces set her on edge. 

Before she could think further, or ask more questions, Aelin had turned, slid up the bed, and hovered above her. She faced away, toward Rowan, who was currently lining up between her thighs. 

“Snap if you need to stop,” he said roughly. She didn’t get to see him enter her as Aelin lowered herself over her face. She didn’t care. 

-

Later that night, curled up next to them in bed, she realized she’d probably never fall pregnant. Biologically, it didn’t matter to her who birthed the child, she’d help raise and love them all the same. But was pregnancy something she wanted? It would interfere with the royal succession and all of that. Things her mates had probably thought of and discarded for a later time. Well, now was the later time. Right now … she was a royal concubine, wasn’t she?

Still, they already had little time to spare, and a child would … she shook her head. How gods-damned selfish could she be? The time she took up in their lives would be better spent on a child. A child would be more worthy of the time than her. All she’d done is drag her mates down since they met, causing problems and bringing chaos in her wake. She was, at the very least, a basket case. 

She should be happy for her mates, for how long they’d wanted this baby - held back by her. She was the one holding them back from their dreams and everything they wanted.

It was bullshit, she knew. The child would be more than happy with three parents. She wasn’t happy, and the time was coming where she picked for herself for once, but she had to be careful about it. 

Right now, she didn’t know what she wanted. Of course, these concerns couldn’t be raised because at the first hint of suspicion she might leave them she’d be placed firmly on lockdown - not given the slightest chance. Their love always came hand in hand with obsession, and with that a heavy weight she couldn’t quite kick. Several days, all she wanted was for the heaviness to leave her chest. 

Besides, they were Fae and it could take years for any of them to fall pregnant. When that time came, she knew what she’d have to do, and knew it would hurt like hell in so many ways. 

“What’s on your mind?” Rowan murmured from her right. To her left, Aelin was sound asleep. She hadn’t realized he was awake. 

“Life,” she whispered. 

He wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her closer. Aelin had spread out to take over most of the bed, and seemed perfectly content wrapped in all of the pillows and blankets but she knew her mate would reach for her soon. Until then, she let herself melt into Rowan, his warmth and the steady circles he traced on her back. 

This, this feeling, warmth, and content. She wanted desperately to be selfless and stay, but eventually she’d need to be selfish and go. The clock was ticking down. 

-

A year later, she knew something was different. Firstly, she could barely stand to have others near Aelin. At first she thought it was because they hadn’t gotten to spend much time together, but then her mate’s scent changed. 

Rowan’s behavior confirmed her suspicion. She thanked the gods that their instincts didn't apply to each other. 

Pregnancy suited Aelin, it seemed like a gold dust or shimmer always coated her, bathing her in some sort of ethereal light. 

It took one week for her to remember the original plan. 

With her mates distracted with preparations for the babe, it was all too easy for her to get things together to leave. 

There was one thing standing in her way. Her bargain with Fenrys. Her own conscience died as soon as she began considering this. She wasn’t able to go to the Staghorns with him accompanying her, and he couldn’t run with her. Would he try to stop her if she he knew she was preparing to leave? She considered him a brother, but undeniably his loyalty went to Aelin first and not just because of the blood oath. It hurt that she couldn’t truly trust him, and she knew it was unfair but in her mind it was Aelin and Rowan stealing another thing from her. Besides, he’d pulled away from her recently. Like the rest of them, he was preoccupied with Aelin’s pregnancy. 

A blessing, but a blessing so precious it put everyone on edge. 

The only other option was to go somewhere else. She decided to post a few letters. 

Rushing over to the table, grabbing a quill and ink while they were still busy, the sound of pen scratching paper filled their rooms. 

What were those vacation spots we used to go to? I’ve been reminiscing about our childhood. 

Only brief phrases flooded into her mind as she wrote, the rest flowing straight from her mind to paper, the only filter the code she created with her cousins years ago as children. Hopefully the gods were looking out for her, and her cousins remembered. With a little luck, whoever undoubtedly read the letter wouldn’t find anything suspicious or worth reporting back to home for. Even if they did, she’d gained their trust well enough and they were so preoccupied she doubted they would pay much attention to it. After all, they hadn’t paid much attention to her. 

She glanced at the clock. Two hours til they were finished with the meeting. Leaving the castle alone wouldn’t raise suspicion anymore, now with her settling a year in the past. Black cloak pulled over her head, silver clasp fastened at the collarbone, rain pouring outside, she slipped through a servants passage, and out the front gate. Sometimes the best place to hide was in plain sight.

Sticking to main streets, smiling at the few who dared venture outside during inclement weather, she headed right for the post stand. Not unusual of her before her settling - the citizens of Orynth had long memories after all, even the mortals. Her primary form of communication couldn’t be in person after all, and she had piles and piles of letters from her cousins. Still, the code was necessary because she couldn’t risk anyone reading her mail. Everyone was nosy. Finding someone she trusted, someone loyal to the crown, knowing an extra coin would make no difference in their behavior, she made the exchange. 

Instead of a breath of fresh air, her chest tightened. This was the first step to the ultimate betrayal. 

Anxiety and panic filled her, all of her will and energy went to keeping it from the mating bond. Despite her current plans, she still cared deeply about Aelin, her health, and the health of the babe. But … how much of herself did she need to sacrifice? How much could she, before it broke her completely? 

“Is everything alright miss?” A guard asked at the gate. Miss. 

When did she start crying? 

“Just good news,” she put on her best cheery voice. He looked skeptical. “Really,” she insisted. 

“Alright,” he gave her a polite nod and she fled - well, walked as fast as she could get away with. He would undoubtedly go to someone. With Aedion gone for a few days, it would be Fenrys - the guard knew better than to approach Rowan at a time like this. Fenrys might be testy as well, she realized, but a safer option for them - and her. 

Fleeing for her safe space, she eyed the clock, counting the time until a white wolf appeared. 

Seven minutes. 

“You’re slow today,” she mumbled, wiping an errant tear with the back of her hand. 

Flash of light, a Fae male. 

“What’s wrong?” He said, voice deep and lined with a touch of exasperation. He cut to the chase, a touch of impatience in his tone. A tone he’d never taken with her before. 

“I should ask you that,” she bit back. 

His shoulders loosened. “I don’t like being away from her right now,” he admitted. 

She sent him a commiserating smile. “Neither do I.” 

He raised a brow. Why aren’t you there, you could read the words in his eyes. 

“Rowan is touchy,” she added. 

“I’m aware,” he drawled and sat on the couch opposite her, leaning forward, forearms against his thighs. “But I’m surprised he is even with you, his other mate” 

Other mate. Fenrys realized his poor choice of words immediately, she saw it in the look on his face. She waved it off, “I know you don’t mean it like that.” She wondered if he’d acknowledge the lie or brush it under the rug, and would’ve bet money on the second. 

“I don’t,” Fenrys said, “it doesn’t mean it's not wrong I said it like that.” 

Maybe she underestimated him. “I’m f-”

“Don’t say that, I know you don’t mean it,” he cut her off, “how are you handling this?” 

She pressed her lips into a tight line, going for as close to the truth as she can get. “I’m thrilled, nervous, and uncertain.” 

He huffed “you sound like the rest of us.” 

“I suppose I do,” she forced a smile. Concern flashed in those dark eyes, but he didn’t push, enough of that had been done today. 

-

She didn’t go to the healers with them, she never did anymore. The first time had been so much that they insisted only one mate could come with, and that went to Rowan. Personally, both she and Aelin thought she would’ve been the safer choice, less likely to murder someone, but even that couldn’t be completely guaranteed so it might as well be the king. It only reinforced her thoughts, without her it would be easier around. She thought it was probably better that way, each visit felt like the ticking of a clock, and at least here she could separate herself more with less worry that they would notice it. 

It felt like hours this time, and Fenrys kept her company today in her workshop. Good, better than being alone with her thoughts. Aelin was seven months pregnant, and weekly check ups quite obviously frustrated her but the rest of them didn’t care. Each check up was one week closer to her departure. 

Shaking her head clear of thoughts, her hand hovered over the material, flooding back and forth. It was frustrating, trying to get her magic to work as it used to. Half of the time she could make beautiful creations, even better than before, but the other half they were … not ugly but more angry is the best way she could describe it. They said magic spoke to her soul and she wondered what that meant about her. Nothing good. 

“I like this one,” Fenrys pointed towards a piece that pissed her off. Angry ripples of wood, different colors streaked between, “it’s … original.” 

“It should go in the trash,” she muttered. 

“No more breaking things,” he snorted, but she could hear a hint of worry. She rarely threw anything away - if anything she took them and tried to remake them over and over again. There was no point in throwing out old creations if they could tell a story of her life and work, or if they could be re-used. After the ‘broken glass episode,’ as she called it in her mind, she hated the sounds of anything breaking. 

Once, Aelin almost took the head off a poor courtier who’d accidentally broken a glass in her presence. At least her magic cooperated enough for her to make it nearly impossible for any glassware in this castle to break, unless someone intentionally threw it. The way it worked, her magic wouldn’t stop someone from breaking it if they wanted to, it only stopped accidents. 

Maybe if - when she reinvented herself somewhere else she could sell magically reinforced glassware. Although that might be too obvious and could get her caught. 

The southern continent might take her. She abandoned the glass, settling for tapping her fingers on her table instead. Fenrys was pacing by the door. This appointment had been an emergency and she was thinking of how she’d be leaving soon. 

More than ever before, she believed she was a truly terrible person. Someone, she had to tell someone about this - get them to convince her to quit this insanity. 

“Fen-” She started, his head turning towards her, just as they heard footsteps down the hall. Later on when the wolf asked what she wished to speak about earlier, she didn’t remember, mentioning offhand it must not have been very important. 

“Everything is well,” Aelin said as she entered, Rowan quick on her heels. They’d taken to coming here after - probably because she always had chocolate ready for Aelin. 

Sure enough, she slid a box of hazelnut chocolates across the table to her pregnant mate. She was absolutely insatiable. Nothing could curb her appetite, but she gladly fed the addiction. Anything to make her happy while she was still here. 

“I wish you could go to the appointments with me,” Aelin mumbled in between bites after Rowan stepped out of the room. “He’s such a bear.” 

“He’s always seemed more bird-like to me,” she countered automatically, teeth digging into her bottom lip as she focused on one piece of material. 

A palm slapped against the table, stifled breathing - panic - eyes shot up. Laughter. 

“That. Was. Horrible,” Aelin wheezed, but her cheeks were lifted, eyes light, and the giggles left her were contagious. 

“If I’m a bear,” Rowan grumbled, stalking through the door. Aelin shot you a hopeful look. Had she spoken in his hearing range on purpose? “Then let petal go next time instead.” 

Rowan turned, looking at her like he had a mental list of instructions ready. She gulped. What had she signed up for? A tiny glint in his eye told him she wasn’t too sure 

-

Her hands shook as they floated over the material. It took what felt like ages for her to work with glass again, and even now it still felt too raw but this was something she needed to do. And with the glass collected from her … melt down. A complete waste, that was. So many hours of work smashed into pieces, thrown into a bucket for her to try and fix her mistakes. She vowed to herself this wouldn’t be a mistake, that she was doing the ‘right’ thing. 

But … was it the right thing for her or for them? Could it be both? 

Too. Much. Thinking. 

She refocused on the object in front of her, passing her hands over it again, trying to let her magic flow from inside of her. Ever since her settling it had been a tad more difficult to access, but when she did manage to access it … well her workshop is now reinforced. Heavily. 

After the fifth attempt, she sighed and slid it to the side. This one had to be perfect, and if it wasn’t working now she might as well try again on a later date. If it wasn’t perfect … well, for who it was going to she’d accept nothing less from herself. Would it sting more if they knew the effort she put into it? When the time comes? 

Generally, that thought would’ve kept her mind swirling for hours but she was so damn tired that as soon as she laid her head down on her bench to ‘rest’ for a moment, she was out. 

“Beautiful,” a lovely voice whispered into her ear, a warm hand running down her arm, warmth spreading behind her. She jerked up, nearly falling out of her chair. 

“Shit,” she muttered, glancing at the clock, dings and tears on the outside. Worn down from where years ago it was shiny and new. It only started breaking down more after she moved to the castle. 

Aelin laughed, the sound beautiful and carrying. She glanced at her pregnant mate, Radiant as always. “You should get some more sleep,” she tutted. 

“You’re pregnant you should be,” she yawned, hand covering her mouth. 

“Hush,” Aelin murmured, reaching a hand to her. In her tired state, the hand seemed like a lifeline, a symbol. She took the land, but used her other to push herself out of her seat, refusing to let Aelin do any lifting. 

“I’m not incapable,” Aelin said, an edge to her tone. 

“You’d do the same to me,” she countered, pulling her hand away to cross her arms in mock stern-ness. 

Aelin frowned and snatched her hand back. “This is mine,” she flipped it off and placed a kiss on her palm, before tugging her towards the door, “and I’m hungry.”

Not for the first time that day, she wondered if she was doing the right thing.

-

It felt like years, when in reality it was months, but eventually it was ready. 

“I need to go grab something,” she murmured one night, perhaps an hour or so before they’d turn down for bed. Rowan and Aelin didn’t particularly like when she went wandering around alone after dark, but this was when she wanted to give it to them. “From my workshop,” she clarified. 

“Nobody’s stopping you,” Rowan sounded a little snippy. 

Throat tightening, she nodded and turned, blinking back tears at the slight embarrassment. Has nobody really been stopping her? Had this all actually been inside of her head? 

“Wait,” Rowan’s voice floated through the open doorway. She turned to see the male standing there, filling the space completely, the corners of his mouth softened slightly. “Let me come with you.” 

“You can’t,” she backed away, but a natural smile started playing on her lips. “It’s a surprise.” 

“I’ll close my eyes,” he took one step into the hall. 

“No,” she insisted. She’d worked too hard on it to have the surprise ruined for one of them. It had to be both or nothing. 

“Fine,” he rolled his eyes lightly, but she could’ve sworn she detected some fondness in his tone. “Be quick,” he added. 

She shifted, senses sharpening, a white fox sprinting down the hall. A fae female carried back the gift, perfectly wrapped in a small gold box, a neat bow sealing it. 

-

The cautious way she held it caught Aelin’s attention first, as if it was the most precious thing she’d encountered in so very long. She knew instinctively it was one of her creations. 

Do you know what this is? She looked at Rowan. 

No, he answered her silently, and she caught the curiosity in his eyes, probably reflected in her own. 

She motioned for Rowan to sit, and he did - amusing her. Her mate’s thigh pressed against her own, a strong and comforting weight. She stood before them, and held it out almost like someone presenting a gift at court, her hands shaking slightly. Her hands rarely shook. Aelin frowned, but working in-sync she and Rowan took the box together. 

Carefully, the bow was slid open, the lid tilted back - an involuntary gasp left her. She nearly dropped it. Thanks the fucking Gods Rowan was holding it or she might’ve spiraled if she’d somehow broken it. 

A beautiful glass sphere, painstakingly decorated with the Lord of the North, trees, rivers, mountains, kingsflame, and several other tiny decorations that must’ve taken her hours. How long had she been working on this?

More than that, as far as Aelin knew it was the first glass decoration she’d created since the episode, as she called it in her mind. 

Shattered glass. Blood. Screaming. She pushed it out of her mind, refocusing herself on the present. 

Rowan was already standing and embracing her. Carefully and slowly rising, she joined. 

For as long as it was together, the glass had a proud place on the mantelpiece, prime sight for any who walked in the rooms spot it. 

-

It was time. Barely a week after her gift, she’d received the imminent word Aelin was going into labor. An hour later, she ran. 

Not being there for her mate at her most vulnerable time nearly killed her, but she knew Rowan wouldn’t dare leave Aelin’s side to come look for her. They knew where she’d be, but they wouldn’t risk outraging the Wolf Tribe and alienating some of their subjects by coming to steal her in the middle of the night. She’d heard them acknowledge it before when they thought she was sleeping. They’ve always underestimated her, she thought. 

She wrote down the words rehearsed in her mind for months, edited and changed over and over again until they made sense. 

Don’t come looking for me, you know what will happen if you do. I’ll come back when I’m ready. I swear I love you. 

She sliced the tip of her finger with her dagger, let three drops, one for each of them, dripped onto the paper and folded it in three before placing it in as obvious of  a position as possible, their names stitched on the front in her elegant cursive. Would they burn the letter or keep it? 

It didn’t matter. 

She snuck through the castle, taking servants passageways and back exits until she was at the edges of the city. Stashed in a hidden hole next to a tree were her supplies. She slipped her arms through the loops of the pack before setting off. 

The new tree growth and winter morning smelt like fresh air and freedom to her, like a new beginning and dawn she never thought she’d see, despite the strong and ever growing tug attempting to bring her back to her mates. 

That thought posed another question, could they really be her mates if she could hurt them like this? 

She knew, in her soul, this was a betrayal she’d never come back for. What she was breaking could never be remade in its original form or anything similar. She kept going, without so much as a look over her shoulder. Yes, she felt the pain and misery and likely would for the rest of her miserable immortal life but at least she did something for herself. 

-  

Rowan knew in his soul she was gone. Physically. 

If he detached himself from the situation, he would recognize how she had good timing and planning, perhaps even appreciate it. But he wasn’t, instead he was filled with fury. That fury was contained with his pregnant wife and mate currently in labor in front of him. Distracted enough she didn’t know yet, and he’d keep it that way for as long as he could. Rowan wasn’t certain he wouldn’t hurt her for everything she was about to put Aelin through. He couldn’t kill her but he could make her life a living hell and in his current anger he swore he would. 

Surrounding himself and the room in a shield of wind, drowning out all sounds, his shaking fingers closed around the glass orb she’d painstakingly created for them. Even months of work, fine lines and pure artistry were no help in quelling his anger. Rowan let his fingers release, and the orb smashed on the tile flooring. 

He already knew could be a vindictive and cruel son of a bitch, but she was going to find out just how cruel and vindictive he could be. Boots crunched over glass, her fate sealed. 

-

taglist: @wallacewillow0773638 @inloveallthetime @sstrohma @fightmedraco @daughterofthemoons-stuff @skinny-baby-4eva @feyres-fireheart @helloevilmuffins @panther-girl-124 @starsinyourseyes @natiebug1 @paleidiot @agent-anna @123345566

[shyvioletcat]

ROWAELIN MONTH: DAY 27

~ Person A is touch starved but doesn't know how to reach out to Person B ~

Well. A few notes before we can continue. This includes a little bit of a time jump, I might go and fill in some gaps but I think it passes. Also, we took a hard right into Smutsville. Lastly, the last bit seems a little iffy but my tired brain can't look at it anymore but I think I got there in the end. Thanks so much for reading, I love how much you guys are loving this au.

CW: smut, swearing, secondhand embarrassment

The Sweetest Promise Masterlist

~~~~~

They had spent the day together. Forest Fae has held another event and although Aelin’s presence wasn’t mandatory for this one, Rowan had asked her to come anyway just because he wanted company. Yes, he’d received a massive figurative thumbs up from his boss for taking the initiative this time. But it was more than that. It was becoming clear to Rowan the more time he spent with Aelin through their arrangement, the more time he wanted to. 

It had been nearly four months since that first panicked, desperate night and since then they’d seen each other every week. They had started with an official weekly date, and then once that initial awkwardness was over Rowan had very casually asked if Aelin wanted to go out here and there. She had said yes, and he added money to her account accordingly. So it was once a week minimum, more if he played his cards right, but Aelin always seemed up for whatever he was offering.  Even though he was her Sugar Daddy, Rowan could comfortably say they were friends now as well, all thanks to Aelin’s undeterred determination. It had been a pleasure getting to know her and being forcibly dragged back into a state of sociability. He was stubborn and he wouldn’t openly admit to it, but it had been good for him. And so had Aelin. 

She didn’t put up with his brooding or old man grumpiness, as she liked to call it. Aelin would find a way to draw him out in a way that Rowan would barely notice what she was doing. A playful argument would start up or she’d find some obscure topic of conversation that would have him laughing. Rowan was again starting to see that there was a world outside his office, and it was worth living in. 

Today’s event was a small expo held for investors and promotional influencers. The powers to be had invited Rowan so that he could see every facet of the company and to get his advice later on some legal matters. If Aelin hadn't come he would have spent most of his day bored out of his mind as he watched adults and children inspect the toys on offer. Instead he had Aelin participating in demonstrations or playing with the toys, making conversation and jokes which made the day not just bearable, but enjoyable. All day she had walked through the expo with something Rowan could closely describe as childlike wonder. Despite everything on display, he hasn’t been able to look away from her. 

Now they were back at his place, curled up on the couch. Rowan was watching TV and Aelin was reading some article for her thesis. It wasn’t the first time she’d been here, Rowan had asked her over a few times just to hang out when he had some work to do and couldn’t be bothered to go out. It was all under the guise of their arrangement, but it was just loneliness striking again. Aelin didn’t seem to mind though, she admitted that she’d been struggling to get out herself and the change of scenery was nice. The dinner he ordered in was also an added bonus, just slightly above the pleasure of his company according to her. 

Aelin’s head was resting on his thigh and she had an arm stretched up, leaning on his, as her hand twisted idle patterns in the air. She would think nothing of the way she was touching him. She’d been doing it all day, just small casual touches that just seemed to be part of her nature. Aelin would hold his hand to lead him somewhere or grab his arm when she saw something that excited her. Rowan had come to realise that Aelin was very much a physical person. What she didn’t know, that given the right circumstances so was he. He hadn’t shied away from her today, or any other day, and had even started to reciprocate. Their first evening together they’d been nearly inseparable to sell the piece. Touching was becoming a casual and comfortable exchange. Sometimes it was only the brush of a hand or their shoulders bumping. Each time it gave Rowan just that little bit of a thrill, which was more than slightly embarrassing. He looked forward to the physical closeness Aelin’s company came with. Because the sad truth of it was that he was touch starved.

He hadn’t had a serious relationship in years, and flings were few and far between. It had been at least 11 months since he’d fucked someone. Rowan’s dedication to his work just didn’t allow him the time to invest the effort that it would take for him to pursue someone. Relationships were tedious, it was probably why he was holding on so tight to this no strings attached arrangement with Aelin. But it certainly left him… lacking in some regards. 

There was a groan from Aelin, breaking Rowan out of his humiliating thoughts. She’d dropped the pages she was reading on her chest and used her now free hand to flick out her hair that evidently got caught somewhere. It made her golden hair fan out across Rowan’s lap and hands, and before he knew what was happening his fingers were playing in the ends of it. It was so soft and silky, he had no idea how Aelin got it to feel like this. When his brain finally caught up with him he dropped the strands, berating himself for presuming he could do such a thing.

“I don’t mind,” Aelin said, not looking away from the paper she had picked back up. “I like my hair being played with.”

“Yeah?” Rowan questioned lamely.

The corner of Aelin’s mouth twitched up in amusement over his awkwardness. “Yeah.”

Tentatively Rowan started up again, just flicking through the ends, but then he got braver. He twirled a lock around his finger, watching as the light caught the subtle tones in the gold. Next he carved out a section, split it into three and wove it into a simple braid. To his surprise the arm that Aelin rested against him twisted and he felt the tips of her fingers run through his hair. It nearly made him jump, and he definitely stiffened which he hoped Aelin didn’t notice. Of course, nothing got past her and she did.

Aelin looked up at him, one eyebrow raised. “You don’t like it?”

“I do,” Rowan said quickly. “Just… unexpected.”

“So, I can keep going?” Aelin asked and he just nodded. 

For a while they played with each other’s hair, and Rowan turned his attention back to the TV. He just twirled the same lock round and round, finding the repetition calming. Then Aelin stopped playing with his hair and the article she had been reading was unceremoniously tossed on the floor. Before Rowan could even question what Ashe was doing Aelin had reached her arms above her head, back arching as she stretched. 

She was halfway across his lap now and it was hard not to watch. Aelin was wearing a sundress with the neckline cut in a deep V. During the expo she was wearing a light sweater over the top but his apartment had been warm enough that she’d discarded it. With the thinness of the straps it was quickly apparent Aelin wasn’t wearing a bra. And now draped across his lap it was a fact impossible to ignore. 

The cut of the dress showed the curves of the breasts, low and deep. As Aelin twisted a just a little, the dress shifted, revealing more, pulling across her chest and—

Rowan snapped his eyes shut. Aelin was in danger of a serious wardrobe malfunction and he’d already witnessed too much. It was making things difficult for him—there was a lot of blood rushing south and he was half hard. He tried to block all the images he’d just seen and then Aelin went and put the final nail in his despicable coffin. He felt her shudder, and then she moaned. The only way he could describe it was pornographic.

He was in serious trouble now. 

Aelin settled back on the couch and Rowan deemed it safe to open his eyes. He had a situation going on and he wanted to make sure it was taken care of before Aelin noticed. Rowan was cursing himself for deciding to change into something more comfortable because his sweatpants were hiding absolutely nothing. He felt like a teenager, but this was even more embarrassing because he’d done nothing but play with her hair. The first real luck of his day struck because there was a pillow tucked right next to him. He yanked it out from between his thigh and the couch and nearly jammed it into his lap. 

Then that luck flipped on him again as the pillow bounced on the top of Aelin’s head, drawing her attention. “You right?”

Rowan was sure his cheeks were flaming. “Ah, thought this would be more comfortable than my thigh.”

“Thanks,” Aelin said, shifting up a little so that she could lay her head on the pillow properly. 

All that did was move her further into his lap and presented Rowan with a conflict of where to put his arm. He could drape it along the back of the couch but with the furniture flush against the wall there wasn’t really that much room. And there was even less room between their bodies and the cushions. The only valid and comfortable option was draping it over Aelin.

Rowan very stiffly rested his arm on Aelin’s waist, deeming that the safest spot. He also made a point of not looking at her once his arm was situated. From this angle Aelin’s cleavage looked fantastic and neither that sight or thought was helping the hard-on the pillow was covering. It seemed Aelin didn’t mind the position of his arm in the slightest, in fact she went as far as to rest her arm on top of his. Rowan tried to focus on the TV as a distraction and he might have succeeded if she didn’t start running her fingers over his skin, the tickling sensation making him break out in goosebumps. Her hand went back and forth, soothing but at the same time almost tantalising. It was doing nothing to calm the hardness of his cock, the only thing that would help him in that regard was if Aelin moved to the other end of the couch and didn’t touch, speak or look at him for 10 minutes straight. 

Then out of nowhere Aelin dragged her nails down the length of her arm, the surprise of it so sudden Rowan couldn’t help his reaction. His whole body shuddered, his hips jerking up just enough to jostle the woman in his lap. There was no way in every hell that ever existed that Aelin hadn’t noticed his response this time. 

Rowan stared at the screen in front of him so intently he’s eyes were stinging. Holy gods, this was embarrassing. He hadn’t had sex in months, and this combination of being touch starved and horny was fatal.

“Rowan.” He could hear the godsdamned smile in Aelin’s voice.

“Yes,” he managed to get out, still refusing to look at her. 

“Are you okay?”

He had to look down, not doing so would be rude and highly suspicious. “Fine.”

Aelin sat up, her stunning eyes giving him a once over. “You just seem a little stiff.”

Rowan tensed, praying she hadn’t meant the pun. 

“Do you mind if I take this pillow?” She asked a little too innocently.

As Aelin reached for the pillow that was his lifeline Rowan’s hand smacked right on top of it, hard enough it made him groan. Despite obvious and ongoing hardships she laughed at him. 

“Do you have a boner right now?” Each word tilted with her laughter. 

“Maybe,” was all Rowan could admit to. 

Aelin giggled, and even that was turning him on now his blood was heated. All Rowan wanted to do right now was die. 

When she could, Aelin cleared her throat to try a calm banish her amusement. “When you went out with your parents you mentioned that it had been a while. How long are we talking?”

In the name of friendship and to hopefully end his misery Rowan answered. “Nearly a year.”

Aelin at out a low whistle. “That’s impressive, but I’m looking at over a year.”

The answer surprised him enough that he was ready to make eye contact. “No way.”

“Haven’t quite had the time to pursue anything, and college boys are idiots,” Aelin said.

Having been a college boy himself, Rowan was inclined to agree. 

“Like, I’m not talking going that long without an orgasm of course,” Aelin said, and Rowan nearly choked at the conversation shift. “But in the end it just becomes an itch to scratch, you know what I mean?”

The pause was long enough that Rowan realised that Aelin was waiting for an answer, and given her candidness he might as well answer honestly. “Yeah I do.”

“It’s just not the same,” Aelin said forlornly. 

It wasn’t. Rowan had been stuck with his hand and fantasies long enough that he acutely understood everything Aelin was saying. 

Aelin was smiling again and Rowan braced himself. “Just a few touches and you’re resorting to a pillow. You must be desperate.” 

“You could say that,” Rowan said. 

“You might even say you’re feeling a little touch starved.” As Aelin spoke she reached out and ran a finger from the corner of his jaw and down his neck. It took immense amounts of self control, but Rowan managed to suppress his shiver. 

“Now you’re just teasing,” he deflected, not wanting to admit to the obvious. 

“We’re friends, right?”

Aelin hadn’t taken her hand off from where it rested on his shoulder, and Rowan chose that path to follow as he looked up to her face. “We are.”

“I mean… it’s obvious you find me attractive.” There was a pointed look down at his crotch. “We could scratch that itch together.”

That was one offer Rowan was not expecting to get and he couldn’t find the words for a solid thirty seconds and even then it wasn’t much. “Um, what?”

“Do you want to have sex with me?” Aelin asked directly. “You’re in quite the predicament and I am very willing to help. Because I find you very attractive too.”

There it was, laid out plain and simple. And that little compliment at the end was just the icing on the cake. There was mutual attraction between them, and they were both consenting adults. What was stopping them if they were both willing?

“Just an itch to scratch?” Rowan reiterated.

This time when Aelin reached for the pillow Rowan didn’t stop her. “I’ve been wanting to scratch it for so long.”

The pillow was gone and then Aelin was throwing a leg over his thighs. Her hands were on his shoulder, bracing her above him. Rowan shifted a little to accommodate, the nearness of Aelin already so intoxicating. 

“If you’re sure,” Rowan said, looking for any signs of hesitation. 

There was none, and Aelin just gave him a coy grin. “I’m sure.”

She dropped into his lap, making Rowan groan at the friction. Aelin gasped as she rolled her hips up the length of him. Once they both recovered from that first contact they looked at each other, the air tight with tension. They could still back out, things hadn’t gone too far. By the gods, Rowan didn’t want to, but one word from Aelin and he’d stop. 

Then Aelin banished every thought of that when she crashed her lips with his. 

Rowan responded immediately, the kiss becoming hungry and impatient in a heartbeat. His hands went to Aelin’s waist, helping her grind on him. He could feel the heat of her and it was enough for him to throw caution to the wind. Rowan’s hands slid up Aelin’s back, urging her down harder and closer, letting him kiss down her neck. Aelin moaned into his ear, making his cock twitch and drawing another sinful sound from her lips. Then his hands were in her hair, angling her head to just the way he liked. She liked it too, the pace of her hips quickened. Rowan needed to feel her, his hands left her hair and gripped her waist, then travelled upwards. When he cupped one of her breasts in his hands Aelin whimpered, the sound getting lost in the kiss. Then he teased her through the layers of the dress, his thumb pressing down as it dragged over the tight peak he could only just feel. That was Aelin’s undoing. 

“Pants, now,” Aelin outright commanded and Rowan was all too eager to obey. 

She shuffled back so that Rowan could tug his pants and underwear down enough to free him. Aelin’s gaze dropped to his cock, boosting his ego as her eyes widened. But she didn’t say anything, only stroked him lightly with the tips of her fingers before her hand drifted under the skirt of her dress. Rowan had a fair idea of what she was doing, and that was confirmed when she moved right over him, lowering herself enough that the head of him nudged at her bare entrance. 

Rowan moved his hands so that he could position her just right, but Aelin stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Mm-mmm, I’m calling the shots today.”

The words sunk in and Rowan's mind just about short circuited. Aelin’s dominance was unexpected, but he was into it. He was more than willing to hand over control to her, he’d give her anything if it meant he could feel her wrapped around him. Aelin shifted her hips and Rowan stayed completely still. She had the audacity to wink at him before she sunk onto him, all of him. 

Rowan's head fell back at the feeling, thudding against the wall. But that small hurt was nothing compared to the feeling of Aelin’s tight heat enveloping him. She felt amazing—perfect. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to last. 

“Gods, Rowan,” Aelin groaned, making him open his eyes. 

Her chest was heaving and her cheeks were flushed, and Rowan wanted to kiss her again. But something in her eyes told him to wait, and Rowan thanked the gods he did. 

Aelin shrugged one thin strap off her shoulder, pulling it past her elbow, and did the same with the other. Rowan’s gaze dropped, his eyes taking in the expanse of skin that had been teasing him earlier. Her dusty pink nipples were taut, and the way Aelin arched towards him was the perfect invitation. Rowan ran a knuckle of the peak of her left breast and his mouth descended on the other. 

He sucked and flicked his tongue over her nipple, and that had Aelin’s hands diving into his hair—keeping him right where he was. Not that Rowan wanted to go anywhere, not when his ministrations made her hips grind on him like that. 

Rowan kissed his way up to the swell of Aelin’s cleavage, cupping both breasts and catching her peaks between his thumbs and forefingers. It had Aelin gasping and riding him with abandon. He could feel pressure building at the base of his spine, his release cresting. It was too soon, he didn’t want this to be over so soon. 

“Wait, Aelin. Slow down,” Rowan panted, hands regretfully slipping away from her chest. 

Aelin did as he’d requested, her breathing heavy. But then she was grinning at him. “That long, huh?”

Rowan blushed furiously. 

“Don’t worry,” Aelin said, cupping one of his burning cheeks. “I won’t last long either. Not when you feel this good.”

Aelin rolled her hips slowly, setting a lazy pace. It was the best kind of torture, it was enough to have his blood simmering but left him begging for more. 

“Hands on my thighs, Rowan,” Aelin said. “And don’t you dare move them.”

He did as she said, sliding his hands from her knees and up under the dress that was fanned out over his lap. Once his hands were where she commanded she began moving just a little faster. Rowan hated that he couldn’t see everything, couldn’t see where he and Aelin were joined. And yet somehow, in these circumstances not seeing might have been just as hot.

Aelin moaned, causing a sudden jerk of his hips. “Good boy.”

Rowan tried not to laugh but he couldn’t help it. 

“I played into it too much, didn’t I?” Aelin said through her own giggle.

“Maybe just a little,” Rowan admitted, leaning in to kiss her. 

That was enough to get the fires burning again after the awkward interlude. Aelin’s tongue pushed into his mouth, then she nipped at his lips. It made Rowan thrust his hips, making Aelin moan deep from her throat. Then she broke the kiss and Rowan fucked up into her again, and that had her throwing her head back, her long hair tickling his thighs. 

“You’re certainly not a boy, are you?” Aelin said, recovering enough that she could look at him. “A boy couldn’t make me feel like this.”

Rowan’s cock twitched at the praise. He was usually the one using dirty talk to his advantage, having the woman in his bed writhing and begging for more. This shook things up and Rowan was quickly becoming a major fan.

“You feel so good, Rowan,” Aelin gasped. “Filling me so well.” 

He wanted to move his hands, and Aelin knew it. To stop them from wandering he had to grip her thighs harder. Aelin moaned his name again and it had his balls tightening. He wouldn’t last much longer. 

Then Aelin smiled and echoed his thoughts. “You’re doing so well, just a little longer.”

Rowan was gone, this woman was unravelling him faster than anyone he’d been with before. Or it could just be because he hadn’t had sex in so long. But he had a sneaking suspicion it was the former. It was hard to deny when a woman this beautiful was in his lap, lips swollen from kissing, hair a mess from his fingers, tits bouncing with every well timed thrust.

“Aelin, I’m gonna—“ Rowan went to lift her off his lap so he wouldn’t come inside her. 

Her hand slammed onto the wall beside his head. It braced her enough that it kept her in his lap, had her grinding down on his swollen cock.

“I’ve got you right where I need you,” Aelin told him. 

“Aelin,” he ground out, the world around him was getting a little hazy but her voice cut through it all. 

“I want you to,” her voice was husky and dragged over his skin. “I want you to come, Rowan. I need it.”

It was the plea in Aelin's voice that broke him, release rushing through him. She was right there with him as her inner walls tightened around him, intensifying every sensation. It was bliss—Rowan never wanted it to end. 

When it did and Rowan’s mind cleared he found Aelin slumped against his chest with his arms wrapped around her. For a while they just sat there together, catching their breath and just basking in that post sex glow. 

Aelin spoke first, still sounding a little breathless. “Itch sufficiently scratched.”

That made Rowan laugh. “You could say that.”

Sighing Aelin sat up. “Um, yeah so don’t worry. I’m on the pill. We probably should have covered that earlier.”

The change in subject was somewhat sobering. “All good, I trusted you.”

Rowan reached over and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the small side table. They didn’t talk as they cleaned up and Aelin ducked off to the bathroom. The solitude gave Rowan a moment to process what had happened. This was certainly a huge jump from a friend Rowan paid to someone who—gods he didn’t know what to call it. 

Aelin was… his sugar baby when you boiled it right down. Yes, they’d become friends of a sort. But had he gone and ruined it by giving in to Aelin’s suggestion? Had she done it out of some warped obligation? He had clearly asked if she was sure and she’d consented, but their arrangement was skewing the way he looked at it. There was something else, something he had been trying very hard to ignore and discredit, but he supposed he could thank the post orgasm clarity for the oncoming admission. 

The attraction Rowan had towards Aelin went beyond the physical. Over the past few weeks it had been sneaking up on him when he realised how much he looked forward to seeing her and how quickly he checked his phone when a message from her came in. It was becoming apparent to him that he liked Aelin. Liked her in the kind of way that he wanted to ask her on a real date.

But… she needed his money. And there was zero guarantee she felt the same. If Rowan messed this up, gods knew who Aelin might end up with if she went and got herself another sugar daddy. Would she find herself in a similar situation that they had just found themselves in?

Rowan hated the thought, just the hint of it had bitter jealousy turning his gut. More than once she said she’d been very lucky to end up with him, her friend had apparently shared some horror stories. With him Aelin had security and safety. Why should he ruin that for her?

Footsteps announced her re-entrance to the room, dressed and looking far more put together than she had moments ago. “I don’t mean to fuck and run, but my supervisor wants a draft of my next argument point and I left my textbook back at my apartment.”

“Sounds riveting,” Rowan said, withholding his cringe at his lame response.

“It’s not, it’s a boring part and I’ve been procrastinating,” Aelin said. “So… see you next week?”

“Of course,” Rowan said with a smile. 

Aelin nodded and gathered up her things. “Don’t get up, I’ll see myself out.” She was about to disappear into his entryway when she stopped. “And Rowan, thanks for the ride.”

The salacious wink Aelin gave him had Rowan laughing, how like her to smooth out an awkward situation. It was a skill Rowan didn’t possess and  had to admire. He had to be honest with himself. If he were to even contemplate taking this further it might just get so awkward and uncomfortable there would be no recovery. Rowan decided that things were best left as they were, there was no reason to ruin what they had for what could turn out to just be a fleeting crush because Aelin was the first person to pay him any attention in gods knew how long. She’d described it as an itch to be scratched and they could leave it at just that. Complicating their relationship wouldn’t be worth anyone’s time. 

~~~~~

Aelin managed to keep her freak out under control until she got inside her apartment. Very literally, just inside. She closed her front door with her back and just stayed leaning there, a hand over her mouth. What in Mala’s name has they done?

What had started as teasing had ended with Rowan’s dick buried so deep inside her she’d been ready to scream. She might of actually, her memory got a bit hazy in the middle there. Seeing him so riled up had flicked a switch in her brain and she had wanted him. It was clear the man needed to be touched, and he’d been so responsive to all those casual innocent caresses. The poor guy, she’d made him reach his breaking point. 

The attraction between them was undeniable and if they were two consenting adults, why shouldn’t they have a bit of fun on the side? They were a walking cliche for Sugar and Sugar Baby arrangement after what they’d just done. But gods had it felt good. 

That led Aelin to yet another conundrum. The issue of payment. Aelin had it written into her contract that if the date included sex there was a higher charge, all she had to do was tap one button and Rowan would get the bill. But did that mean the sex had to be prearranged? Did a spur of the moment ride on his expensive couch count? This was complicated and Aelin just needed to think. 

She wandered off to her bedroom, rifling through her drawers for clothes to put on after her shower. They were friends, but they were also in a business arrangement. How awkward would it be if she sent through the sex charge? Rowan was her friend, she liked spending time with him, but this all started because he had hired her. They’d signed contracts and come to arrangements that suited them both. The fact they had ended up as friends in the end was an added bonus. Aelin stood there for a moment, clothes bundled in her hands. It shouldn’t be awkward. As a lawyer, there was no doubt in her mind that Rowan had each and every clause of the contract. He would have seen the details about the extra charges. For all Aelin knew was expecting it. 

The sex was great, Aelin had enjoyed it. She hadn’t done it for the money but… money was always good. The more she thought about it the fewer reasons she was finding not to honour the extra charge. Aelin threw her clothes on the bed and pulled her phone out from the pocket of her dress. She opened Sweet As Sugar and sent through the payment request before she could think better of it. 

There, it was done. Nothing to do about it now. 

Her phone was exchanged for her clothes and she headed to her bathroom. Aelin couldn’t stop thinking about it—the way Rowan had felt inside her, the sounds he made, the touch of his hands on her body. For the first time after coming out of her dry spell it had been amazing. Fantastic. Spectacular. She could list adjectives all day and it still would aptly describe how fucking Rowan had felt. The itch was scratched, and then some. 

And Aelin thought this might be an itch she wouldn’t mind scratching again.

~~~~~ well, that's where we're at. I had so much fun embarrassing the absolute hell out of Rowan

@rowaelinscourt

[captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship]

SJM ask game

I saw this ask game started by @milswrites and I absolutely love it!

1) What’s your favourite SJM book?

It is a tie between ACOMAF, QOS, and CC1. Those are my top 3 and they rotate on a daily basis on which is my favorite.

2) Which is your favourite series (tog, acotar or cc)

TOG is def my favorite of the three. The story is so beautifully bookended, each book can stand by itself, the characters are amazing and they go through so much growth. I love ACOTAR because I love the relationships that are built there and the world building is so interesting. I also read ACOTAR at a very dark point in my life and reading about Feyre digging herself out of the darkness helped me do the same. I love Ruhn Dannan. Daynight is life. Enough said.

3) Who is your favourite character? (And why?)

I have to have a favorite character from each series. For ACOTAR, gwyn has whittled her way into my heart as my favorite character. Her bravery, her selflessness, her determination. We see her interact with characters who are previously shown to be extremely unaproachable and she treats them like normal people. She is healing and is in the process of building a life that is worth living. I cannot wait to read more of her journey in the next book. For TOG, my favorite characters are Aelin, Manon, and Lysandra. Aelin is forced to be so strong from such a young age, and the shit that she is put through just makes my heart ache. KOA broke my heart so many times because she felt so broken and I feel like we never got a true conclusion to it. Manon is such a prime example of Nature vs Nurture. She was Nurtured to be a heartless killer, but once she started seeing the world for what it was and seeing the injustices her people were committing, she and the 13 stood up for what was right and went up against their sister Ironteeth in battle in order to fight for a better world. Lysandra has been a favorite of mine since the first time I read her on the page. She was taken advantage of and was forced into a role outside of her command. The way she takes her own life in her hands, she puts the needs of others before her own, and was a friend to Aelin when she truly needed one will solidify her as one of my favorites. It is no surprise that Lydia is my favorite CC character. I loved her in CC2, but she CARRIED CC3. She is like the perfect mix of Rhys and Aelin and her ancestors would be proud of her and what she has done.

4) Do you have a favourite quote from one of the books?

I have a million favorite quotes. One of the ones I wouldn't mind getting a tattoo of is "Don't let the Hard days win" it is simple but so impactful and some days I need the reminder. I cannot stop crying when I read Lehabah's last conversation with Bryce. Also, I definately Bawl everytime Aelin hallucinates about her parents and her mom says, "Why do you cry, Fireheart?"

5) Favourite ship?

In no particular order: Gwynriel, Feysand, DayNight, Rowaelin, Lysaedion, Nestaq.

6) E/riel or Gwynriel? Or neither?

I think my username speaks for itself

7) Who’s the most underrated SJM character?

NESRYN MF EMPRESSES FALIQ. I love her. I know she isn't on my list of favorites but she is 100% a favorite. Her and Sartaq are just *Chef's Kiss*

8) Which character do you wish to learn more about?

Oooooh. Azriel, Gwyn, Jessiba, Lydia, VAUGHN, Lucien.

9) Are there any characters you don’t like?

Besides the bad guys? I don't care for Ithan but its not that I don't like him. He just reads like a washed up frat boy but I was impressed with his growth in CC3. It's not like I HATE him, he just isn't a favorite of mine.

10) Favourite bat boy?

It should come as ZERO surprise that Azriel is my favorite bat boy. However, if I had to choose ANY of the SJM Males to be my mate, it would be Dorian :) I would die fighting Manon for him but worth it lol

11) Favourite court?/ Which one would you most like to live in?

I most definately fit into the Night Court. Anyone who knows me knows I am a night owl and I would sleep all day and be awake at night if I could. If Eris was high lord, my second choice would be Autumn.

12) Favourite SJM villain?

I think we can all agree that Maeve is the most flushed out villian that SJM has written to date. I love to hate her.

13) If you could change one thing in any of the books what would it be?

I would get rid of all the "crumbs" for E/riel and I would make Mor more open about her sexuality with the IC from the beginning. I am fixing both in FM2M.

14) Favourite SJM theory?

Gwynriel are mates. There is way too much canonical evidence to prove otherwise.

15) Favourite Archeron sister?

Feyre.

16) A character you feel is over-hated/ underrated

Aedion. Leave my boy alone. Was he a dumbass? Yes. HOWEVER, think about his trauma and the BS Lysandra and Aelin pulled on him. He has had the weight of his kingdom on his shoulders for 10 years. He has been playing the game longer than he can remember, was taken advantage of by older men in the army as he worked his way up the ranks. His father's identity needed to be kept a secret to the detriment of his mother and he resents Gavriel for it. They were going to turn him into the same absentee father that he hated, and they threw his trauma in his face. He would have just been a breeding stud and would never be able to recognize his own children. It was a stab right to his heart and he was betrayed by the two people who meant the most to him in the world. Give the boy some grace.

17) Aelin, Bryce, or Feyre?

I think Aelin is the most fleshed out and goes through the most character growth. However, Bryce and Feyre have my heart. I will not choose.

18) If you wrote an acotar book what would you call it?

A Court of Scars and Shadows. Thanks @thebelladonnamoon for coming up with the perfect ACOTAR 6 title.

20) Who is your favourite acotar blogger?

Here on Tumblr, I love @acourtofthought @gwynrieldefenseatty but there are so many that I love :) And, as always, @yazthebookish

21)What fics would you recommend to people who love the series?

OH GOD. Off the top of my head for ACOTAR: ACoFD by @the-lonelybarricade (or ANYTHING by her and @separatist-apologist) ACOSAS by @thebelladonnamoon, Call Me Home by @propagandaprincess, There You Are by @sweethvilliandarlinggod

You can see my bookmarked favorite fics here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_of_the_Gwynriel_Ship

TOG Favorite fics: High Infidelity by @heirofflowers, Bad Intentions by @starseternalnighttriumphant, Illicit Affairs is my ALL TIME FAVORITE by @rowanaelinn, remanents by @the_dormouse, and The Inclining of Stars by @Slytherindemigod18

CC Favorites: I havent read too many, but you can always count on Verzavar Haz by @hlizr50 to break down your soul.

Questions for writers

22) Easiest character to write for?

Probably Feyre or Gwyn. I just feel like I can get in their heads the easiest.

23) Hardest character to write for?

Rhys (so far). It is why he hasn't had a POV yet in FM2M but there will be one in a couple chapters.

24) What’s a character you’d like to write for but haven’t yet? Ooh. Some of the TOG characters. I haven't ventured outside of ACOTAR yet but one day maybe.

25) What’s a court you’d like to write about more?

Autumn wink wink. And Hybern (I know it isn't a court but still).

26) What’s a character you won’t write for and why?

I don't know if there is a character I won't write for. I think it just depends. Probably Elorcan as a couple because as much as I like them, I couldn't really write them.

27) If you could only write for one character ever again, who would you pick?

Gwyn. Easy.

28) Whats your favourite trope to write about when it comes to Azriel?

Oh gods where to start. Friends to lovers, priestess/sinner, trainer/trainee, Acceptance and Longing, Soulmates, Forced Proximity. I could go on.

29) What do you think is the best/favourite acotar fic you’ve written?

I mean definitely FM2M, but I loved writing Up Against the Wall and coming up with the idea for The Great Escape.

30) Who are your favourite friendships to write about?

Right now, the valkyrie and Mor and Feyre, Cassian and Feyre, and Lucien and Feyre.

31) For first time readers to your blog, which three fics would you recommend they read?

Obviously FM2M, you can read some of my other one shots or short fics or check out some of my favorite fics above!

This was super fun and a way to distract me from such a boring work day haha

[danikamariewrites]

reader being Rowaelins daughter and she’s secretly seeing Elorcan’s daughter, at first rowaelin think that she has a secret boyfriend and they want to see him and kind of threaten him, but then everyone finds out at the same time that it’s actually them dating🖤🖤🖤🖤🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Cardigan

Elorcan daughter x Reader

A/n: this is such a cute idea I died reading it. And yes this is named after a folklore song but I’m focusing on the happy romantic parts of the song ☺️ Elorcans daughters name is Diana (BOTH ARE OVER 18)

Warnings: none

Light snores pull you from your dream and into the sweetest reality. Your beautiful girlfriend, Diana Lochan, the most beautiful female in all of Terrasen. You brush he thick black hair back from her face and smile. Even though your relationship is currently a secret, you were both happy. Besides, if your family’s knew the two of you would never have any peace to figure things out.

The future Lady of Perranth began to stir and her eyes cracked open. Diana’s soft giggle warmed your heart. “Morning y/n/n.” Gods her voice was so hot in the morning.

You moved closer, sharing a pillow with her and Diana wrapped an arm around you. You rested your face in the crook of her neck, placing small kiss across her skin.

Pulling away from your girlfriend you boop her nose. “What should we do after breakfast?” You ask. Diana hums in thought. “We could take a walk int gardens. Or we could go into the city, look around maybe window shop. Ohh what about the library?”

Before you could give your answer your mother was knocking on your door. “Y/n, breakfast soon. Are you out of bed yet darling?” You hold your finger up to your lips as Diana held her breath. “Yeah mom! I’ll be down in a few minutes.” The Queen of Terrasen’s footsteps faded and you could both breathe again.

The two of you scrambled out of bed to get dressed. “Fuck my shirt,” Diana sighed holding up the tattered fabric. “Uuhhhh,” you tore through your expansive closet and grabbed an outfit, throwing it at Diana, “wear this.”

Once you changed you noticed the shirt was one your family would know. You wrapped a cardigan with silver star patches around her and buttoned it. “You look so cute Di.” You give her a quick kiss and pull her toward the door.

Sure, sometimes you guys were sloppy with your scents and obvious signs. No one ever said anything though. Walking into breakfast the family was so lost in conversation no one noticed the two of you. It was kind of nice.

As you sat down your father immediately perked his head up, sniffing your direction. “Y/n,” he said sternly. “Yes father?” You ask confused at his hostile tone this early. “Who’s scent is on you?” At his very loud question the entire table looked at you.

Your eyes went wide as you looked at your mother, siblings, and the Lochans. You locked eyes with Diana and your mouth started moving. Nothing coherent came out, just sounds as you tried to think of an excuse. You looked back at your father, a white eyebrow cocked at you.

“Well father, uuummmm…Diana and I just,” Diana stood suddenly, her chair sliding back loudly, “We’re together!” She practically screeched. You slap your hands over your eyes. “I was just going to say we had a sleepover, babe.”

Removing your hands you saw Diana’s cheeks turn bright red. You could feel yours start to heat as well. Your mother comes up behind you, kissing your head. “We are very happy for you darling. Right Rowan?” She growled out that last part making you and your siblings laugh.

Your father snapped out of his shocked state, “Yes, yes! Of course.” Lorcan spoke up next, “I’m very proud of both of you for not being afraid to admit it. We didn’t mean to scare you, you’re very brave, girls” you and Diana were shocked that Lorcan was so understanding.

When he and your father thought no one was looking they began glaring at each other. Both promising death. “Oh we should take you girls out this afternoon. Wouldn’t that be fun Aelin?” “Absolutely!”

You and Diana groan, giving each other an exasperated look. You both knew your moms were just going to grill you on your relationship. You knew they were doing it out of love.

As breakfast went on you felt a little lighter. Like a weight you didn’t know was on your shoulders had disappeared. Everyone at the table were back to their conversations but you could only look at Diana. You were so happy to have her. And now there was no need to hide.