#Romania wins IN MY HEART

[ramp-it-up]

Sugar, Cubed

Photo found on Pinterest

Summary: I revisited Sugar and the boys from the Sugar is Sweet séries, and let me tell you. Bucky and Steve sure have grown up from their college days. They are no longer playing around. And they are coming for you. How do you choose? And do you have to?

Word Count: 3.5K

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader; boss Tony Stark x reader

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Not Beta’d. Read at your own risk. Roommate/Co-worker au, S MUT! Angst, little bit of slow burn. Main character injury, allusions to sex, sexual tension, indecent proposal, caught between two lovers trope, idiots in love, Tony being Tony, truth or dare, talk of voyeruism, possibility of group sex, eventual polyandry.

A/N: This is related to the Sugar is Sweet au, but can be read alone. This is part one, part two will be posted next week. I hope you like it. This is part of Falloween 2024.

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——

You met the two most hated men in your life while you were living together as recipients of the prestigious Stark STEM Fellowship at NYU.

There was an instant spark when you met James Buchanan Barnes and Steven Grant Rogers, best friends from childhood. They sarcastically named you Sugar because of your initial rudeness, but the nickname just stuck around after you warmed up to them.

In the Stark Fellows program, life was hard work and hard play. Soon it was down to just you, Bucky and Steve, and life was a dream with parties, booze, and almost anything you wanted, as long as you lent your minds to the work.

Tony Stark tolerated anything that would keep productivity high. He knew that all work and no play would make Bucky, Sugar and Steve dull scientists.

So he encouraged you three to play. And funded it too.

Steve and Bucky were so protective of you, their sweet Sugar. The sexual tension that came with living with them was heady stuff.

You basked in the glow of Bucky and Steve's attention, while observant of the lines of partners at their bedroom doors and the competitiveness between the football quarterback and lacrosse captain.

You swore that neither Bucky nor Steve would ever win you, no matter the plays they made. But they each had you sprung in different ways. And they were so damn competitive.

They both wanted your heart.

It was only a matter of time before you gave it to each of them.

You fell hard for Bucky first. And it was urgent and intense.

But after just a year together, Bucky accepted a position with Stark Labs in Bucharest for a term that stretched into two years as he completed grad school at Politehnica. It happened without warning. You were angry at his choice and trapped in New York by your own contract with Stark for graduate work. 

You and Bucky were over. And you were heartbroken.

Steve’s waiting arms were open, and it was effortless and freeing to realize that the golden boy was the one who truly loved you. And he’d always been there. Your heart healed. You thought.

According to social media, Bucky seemed to love his new location, extending his contract beyond the initial year-long contract to finish his degree. It seemed that all he did was work.

Not that you were stalking his IG or anything.

He didn’t communicate with you directly, and with Steve only intermittently. It was like he’d erased his best friend and his best girl from his life. 

It made sense, since his best girl was now his best friend’s girl.

Then, during his second year, Bucky's stay in Romania was cut short,  he came back to New York, although not in the way you imagined.

Bucky had been critically injured; losing a limb. Tony made sure he had the best care, flying with Bucky to Wakanda for experimental surgery and overseeing his recovery. 

You found out via a social media after Bucky was back in town, and not from Tony or anyone else.

You were livid.

You raged at Steve, who had lied to you that he had to go to London for two weeks for work when he was actually in Wakanda at Bucky’s bedside.

The betrayal ran deep.

You and Steve were done after that, although you continued to work side by side at the labs. You felt as if Tony was trying to drive you over the edge, having you work around the clock with your ex. But he didn’t care. He had some insane theory that the tension would yield better results.

Each day, you longed for the hour that you could go to your posh new quarters in Stark tower. Although it was lonely, at least your apartment was private, and you could unwind in peace. Your days were tense, but predictable.

Until they weren’t anymore.

——

One afternoon, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up as you stared into the monitor to watch the results from the latest compound analysis roll numbers across your workstation.

“Hey there, Sugar.”

You froze, looking up and out over Manhattan through the window above your station. You couldn’t believe it, but you saw a pale reflection of him in the mirrored glass.

You slowly turned around.

Bucky looked good, his pale complexion not all the result of the blue gray skies over the Hudson. His face had grown more angular, his hair was shorter, and his eyes seemed older, but outside, he was the same Bucky. 

You didn’t know what you were expecting. 

Bucky Barnes seemed whole, except his left hand, the “golden arm” that was the pride of Bobcat football, was now black and gold metal. 

Vibranium. 

You stared at it as it reached for you.

“So I don’t get a hug?” 

Your eyes moved to his face while Steve cleared his throat and reminded you that he was there. You tried to forget his existence most days, but Bucky walking into your lab had erased him from your mind completely. For a moment.

“Sugar–”

You cut him off.

“Fuck you, Grant.” 

You looked back at Bucky with tears in your eyes.

“And fuck you, James.”

Despite your epithets, you threw yourself into his arms, sobbing with emotion.

“How could you…?”

You whispered it into his suit coat, your fingers digging into the material at his back as you cried into his shoulder. Bucky held you tight against him, and he felt harder, more solid. 

You realized that under all of the anger and hurt, you were mainly just relieved that he was alive.

Over two years of anxiety and unprocessed feelings were coming out, and Bucky rocked you as your body heaved. Steve came up behind you and hugged you both.

For a minute you relished the feeling, being held by the only two men that you ever had feelings for. You felt safe. But then you remembered the secrets and the lies, and anger flooded you again. You twisted out of their grasp.

“Don’t get any ideas, assholes.”

You moved away from them and wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly cold.

“Do you know how worried I was? No one gave me any information. At all. I had to find out from social media. I felt like a fool, Bucky.”

You scowled at him.

“And you. You knew that, Cap. And you lied to my fucking face.”

You glared at Steve.

You looked from Steve to Bucky, who shared a guilty glance with each other. 

“That’s my fault, Sugar. I– I made Tony and Steve swear not to tell you.”

Your dark haired ex boyfriend looked at his shoes as he rubbed the back of his neck with his new hand. He held it up and looked at it and then at you.

“Didn’t know how you would feel about this.”

You ignored the uncertainty and hurt in his eyes.

"What do you want? A cookie? A pat on the head?  A tear? You are not going to make me feel sorry for you. Not when you let everyone else but me in on your secret."

You cocked your head and gazed curiously at the new appendage, then back at him.

“Bucky, I am stronger than you think. And I loved you.”

Both Steve and Bucky winced at the word ‘loved,’ but both for different reasons.

“I would have accepted you anyway you came. And I would have been by your side while you recovered. But you didn’t want that. But it looks as if you’re fine.” 

Steve sat back down at his workstation, resigned. You shook your head at him. If it wouldn’t have cost you a million dollars, which you didn’t have, you would have walked out of Stark Industries and moved across the world. But you had work to do.

“You’re interrupting our work here. You need to leave.”

You wanted him away from you like fire.

“That’s what I’m tryna tell you, Doll.” 

Bucky strolled over to the locker area and took off his coat, grabbing goggles and a lab coat.

“I’m reporting for duty. Tony assigned me back to the New York lab.”

—-

Tony leaned against the bar in his office, after he downed the drink that he’d offered you and that you’d refused. It was only 10:46 am. You were trying to hand in your resignation. Or at least ask for a transfer to a new location.

“And just where do you think you’re going to go, Sugar?”

You glared at your boss. Bolstered by anger, this was the least intimidated, and most angry, you’d ever been at him.

“Paris, maybe? Tokyo? Hell, even Des Moines. I’ll take anything. I need space.”

Tony shook his head. 

“I need you here. The productivity with Barnes back is about to be through the roof.”

You just stared at him incredulously.

“You’re not thinking with your brain. Your heart and what is pounding between your legs are in the way.” 

Your mouth dropped open.

“...But the tension between you Barnes and Rogers will make me a lot of money. I’ve studied you since your freshman year. I know what makes you tick, what motivates you to do your best work. And the numbers don’t lie. Being right in the middle of Bucky and Cap makes lots of money for Stark Industries.”

You stared out at the view of New Jersey, outraged.

“Besides. I have the exclusive contract over your mind, body, and soul for the next seven years. Might as well make the most of it.”

You sighed and took the drink Tony offered you this time.

—-

Bucky Barnes was the most infuriating man you’d ever met, second only to Steve Rogers.

Your brain was scrambled when you weren’t working, so you worked that much harder to stay in control. You hated when Tony was right.

Here you were, flanked by two gorgeous men whose work clothes only accentuated their powerful bodies. Bodies that you knew very well. Your tongue had traced every plane of each of them. Your hands explored their broad shoulders and taught, muscular frames. Your fists had clenched their throbbing cocks and you had accepted them inside you. 

No matter how mad you were at them, you couldn’t get them out of your mind.

Imagining Bucky crashing his lips to yours as he backed you up against a wall made your core throb. And dreaming about Steve’s hands around your thighs as he lifted you onto a lab table made your nipples tingle.

Working in between them in the lab was torture for your neglected body and soul. You were doomed to work in  between the two men who’d fucked you most thoroughly and recently.

You didn’t even want to think about your heart.

You ignored the lingering looks in their blue eyes, the way they gentled their voices when they spoke to you, and the way they tried to come in contact with you for no reason. The number of times fingers lingered over passed specimens, the way space became so tight that they had to squeeze behind you in the lab, and the uncomfortable number of times you ended up between them in the equipment closet made you lose your breath.

Steve and Bucky never pressed you for anything, and all you had to say was ‘excuse me,’ for them to move out of your way, but it was untenable. You would give neither of them the satisfaction of getting upset. You managed made it through work and home to your brand new vibrator every night after long days of fighting their pheromones in the lab.

After a week of forced proximity, you were experiencing the forced Stark Industries Happy Hour. As you waited for your drink at the bar, you thought it strange that Tony had never made them mandatory before Bucky came back. That was quite the coincidence.

You wanted to pace yourself with your drinking as you realized that you had to stay there for another couple of hours to get the bonus that came with attendance. The word ‘happy’ and the names Bucky Barnes or Steve Rogers did not go together, so you participated in each round to numb the desire that was plaguing you. 

For someone so smart. You were so clueless sometimes.

—-

As you rode the elevator in Stark Tower to your apartment later that evening, it seemed as if the elevator was moving extra slowly. You didn’t know if it was the tequila affecting your senses, or an actual malfunction, so you asked FRIDAY for analytics, but for some reason, she said you didn’t have clearance for the answer.

You were mad and mute for a minute, trying to clear your head for the security code. It was then that one of your fellow passengers, who you were trying to ignore, broke the silence.

“Okay Sugar, truth, or dare?”

You looked at him as Steve watched you both. 

“I said, truth, or dare.”

“Truth is Bucky, we’re not kids anymore.”

“So you pick truth. You don’t get to pick the question, though.”

Bucky ignored your ire.

“Which one of our cocks is better, mine or Steve’s?”

Your eyes widened and you gasped as Steve interjected,

“Buck…”

“What, Punk? Remember she rated them before she experienced them. Did that hold out? Or did she tell you that you were the 9.9 too?”

Steve rolled his eyes and went back to watching the floor count, mouth set in a thin line. You had not, in fact, told Steve that he was the 9.9. 

“Stop being a little shit, James.” 

You were rocked, memories flooding back, dysregulating your nervous system even more.

“So you’re saying you won't answer the truth?”

You crossed your arms and legs as you leaned back against the elevator wall. You looked up at the floor indicator lights, trying to stop the emotions from getting to you.

“You can pass. Or you can take a dare, Sugar.”

You huffed, fighting the urge to just say pass. Some lingering adolescent urge refused to let you.

“This is so fucking ridiculous.”

You spoke it outwardly, but you were talking to yourself, to your riotous body, which was reacting to these two men in this enclosed space in the most alarming way.

Bucky was watching you intently, but Steve hadn’t turned around, just replied in that voice of his.

“Those are the rules, Sugar. You should probably answer the question or take the dare.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath when you realized what this was. You were dealing with male egos and competitiveness. And they wanted to know the answer, hear you talk about their cocks when for some reason the agave gods were making you horny.

You had to get out of there. 

“You’re not making stupid bets and putting notches in the bedposts any longer. Bucky, we were together, and then you left. I thought it was something that it was not. Then Steve and I got together. I loved you both and in return, you both played me. You both won.” 

Steve turned around and faced you as Bucky advanced closer. He licked his lips and you wanted, no you needed, to run.

“You think I didn’t love you, Sugar? Shit, I worshiped you.”

The sensation of Bucky’s firm body crowding you in bed, taking up the mattress, leg wedged between your thighs while he delivered hot kisses and a slow grind against your clit came out of nowhere. You missed it. You wanted it again. But you lifted your chin as you straightened your spine, determined to resist him.

“You left me.”

“Stark made me!”

Bucky’s blue eyes were wide with emotion.

“‘S’okay Buck. She doesn’t believe I loved her either. Even though I always have. And I caught her when you were gone.”

You looked up at Steve and saw the hurt, and you were preparing not to care, but the feeling of Steve naked against your back, his hands roaming all over you, whispering assurances and praise as he rocked inside and made you come apart in his grip almost made your knees buckle.

You had to move, so you pushed at the rock hard wall of them and they let you move them to get to the elevator controls.

“Why. Won’t. This. Thing. Move!?!?”

You pushed too many buttons at once as Steve and Bucky tried to stop you. The only thing that stopped was the slow progress of the elevator. The small room jolted to a halt, and you stumbled, right into Bucky and Steve’s arms as everything went dark.

“Well now, Sugar. You should have just taken the dare.”

Bucky’s sass enraged you and you cursed and batted their hands away from you as you reached for your purse to find your phone.

—-

A half an hour later, you were all sitting on the floor, Bucky’s jacket beneath you and Steve’s jacket around your arms because the climate control was off. There was no telling how long it would be before someone would find you.

There had been silence since you realized you had not cell phone signal and cursed for 3 minutes straight. You were more than sober now.

God, you wished you were drunk.

“Answer the question. Or take the dare, Sugar.”

This time it was Steve.

“Your fucking competitiveness is so annoying, you know that? Can you two accomplish anything on your own, just for your own pride? Or altruism? Or shits and giggles?”

You could feel their eyes on you in the dark. You fought against them in the darkness, or you were just fighting the darkness, because the lack of sight was enhancing your other senses, and lord you didn’t really want to feel those right now.

“Truth. Or Dare?”

Bucky’s velvet voice was undeterred. You shook your head at it.

“Fine. If it will get you to leave me alone. Dare.”

“I dare you to give up control.”

The response was immediate, as if he were waiting for you to say that.

You groaned, a sound that sounded to sensual, even to your own ears. You were going for annoyed.

“Bucky, it’s late. I’m tired. I’m stuck in an elevator with my two exes. This is a nightmare. And you’re daring me to give up a concept?”

He chuckled.

“Not the concept of control. I think you know exactly what I mean. Give me control. One long weekend. It will be just like when we were roommates. But without the endless teasing and blue balls. This time you give us both that we deserve.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Bucky?”

Your head turned toward Steve, whose voice was on edge.

“I get to watch. You and Sugar, Steve. And direct. And participate…and we find out who is the best…”

“Hold on…”

You could feel Steve shifting in his position on the floor.

“Are you talking about….? Watching me and Sugar… what–?”

“Really Bucky? Do you have a metal brain as well?”

You wanted to fight, but them touching you was out of the question. Bucky was pure chaos.

“If we do this, what would that accomplish?”

“The fuck are you entertaining this nonsense for, Steve? Who the fuck–”

Bucky interrupted your rant.

“Well, you’ve entertained both of us, Sugar, haven’t you? Teased us. Toyed with us. Played us against the other. Wore our clothes and nothing else, slept between us in our bed. Teased us with that body well before we could really do anything about it.”

You dropped your head in your hands, exhausted, as Bucky continued.

“And then, when you finally granted us between your legs, one by one, there was always this spector hanging over the bed, or the floor, or the counter, or the lawn that we fucked on, wasn’t there?”

Bucky paused and you heard the bitterness in his voice. 

“The other one of us was always in the closet or the bushes, or in your head, weren’t we?”

"Don't blame me for your twisted predilections, Bucky."

“What about your predilections, Sugar? You’ve played us against each other long enough. Don’t forget. We both know what gets you off.”

Bucky’s voice wrapped around you in the dark, and you wanted to climb on and ride it as your clit began to pulse. You cursed your body’s reaction to him.

“We know what gets you off hard. Steve told me everything. And it was the same as with me. Your fantasies, Sugar…”

Steve spoke up.

“Bucky, this is uncalled for…”.

"Stop being such a boy scout."

“We know you, Sugar. What we don’t know is who you like the best. We deserve to know.”

“Bucky…”

“It would give us all closure, Steve.”

“You’re crazy, Bucky.”

“Put up or shut up, Sugar.”

Suddenly the lights came back on and you scrambled to stand up as the elevator started again, this time moving at normal speed. You looked between one man who was flushed red and the other who had a smirk on his face.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened, as you bolted out, you replied to Bucky.

“Why don’t you just fuck each other? That will kill two birds with one stone.”

——

Next part: Simple Sugar

Let me know if you like it! 😊

[holylulusworld]

Romanian Kiss

Summary: Your fiancè leaves you for someone else. You try to get him back and meet a grumpy taxi driver.

Pairing: Taxi Driver!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: cheating (not Bucky), angst, heartbreak, meet cute, fluff, bad Romanian

A/N: This story was inspired by the movie "French Kiss" but takes place in Romania (Bucharest).

A/N2: I'm deep down the Bucky rabbit hole again so bear with me...

Words: 1,4k

He left you. He went to Romania for an important convention.

Suddenly he didn’t call you back.

But he left a message, telling you he found the love of his life.

Love of his life? Not a week ago, he promised you forever, and suddenly, another woman took your place. One he met two days ago.

You had no choice but to catch the next plane and hit Romania to find John and win him over again. He can’t just throw three and a half years of a relationship out of the window because he met some girl half his age.

So, this is how you ended up in the cab of the grumpiest guy you ever met. He pretended to not understand your language and grumbled under his breath the whole way to the next hotel.

“Sir,” you sighed as he didn’t react. “Can you tell me where the convention is? My fiancé is there,” you tried again. “I know you understand me. Please, I need to find him. He left and met that girl. I—he can’t just throw our life together away.”

“Miss,” he suddenly said, “stop talking so much. Maybe that’s why he left you. I’ll drive you to the hotel, but I’m not a city guide.”

“Whoa, I thought European taxi drivers were nicer than the ones in New York City,” you huffed and looked out of the window. 

“Maybe you should head back then and leave Romania alone,” he snapped at you and slammed his hands onto the steering wheel.

You bit the inside of your cheek. His words haunted you like an unwanted truth. Hot tears wanted to spring free. John leaving you. The stranger taunting you. Your hopeless situation. Torn between wanting John back and running away.

All damns broke when he grunted at you and accused you of being an annoying woman. You sniffled and the tears finally fell. 

You couldn’t stop. He had to stop the car and talk to you. He opened the door and sat next to you in the backseat. “If you stop crying, I’ll drive you anywhere you want to.”

He told you his name, an odd one. Bucky. At first, you believed he lied and tried to make fun of you; but it was his real name. He talked and talked to make you calm down. While you tried to stop the tears from falling, he murmured words you didn’t understand. 

He called you păpuşă and prinţesă. His words calmed you, and you allowed Bucky to hold your hand while you told this stranger about your past, and the love you just lost.

You believed him when he told you that he’d help you find John. He had no reason to help you, but he did.

For the next few days, Bucky drove you around town. He showed Bucharest, the most important places, and helped you stalk your fiancé and his new girl.

He even let you cry in his chest when you watched John meet the girl’s parents after knowing her for a few days. And the worst was, she wore a diamond ring, making your chest tighten.

“The convention is held in this building,” he said and pointed at the luxurious building. “Do you want to go inside and find out if your fiancé is in there?”

“I don’t know,” you said and meant it. If you met your fiancé right at that moment, you didn’t know what to say. “What if she’s prettier than me, or smarter…or younger.”

“Doll,” he placed his hand on your shoulder, “if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never know. If you want me to, I’ll drive you back to your hotel and you can fly back home and forget about him.”

“No, you’re right. I should talk to him but,” you sighed and looked down at your body. “Jeans and t-shirts won’t make him see me in a different light, don’t you think?”

“If you want me to,” he cupped your face and looked you deep in the eyes, “I’ll turn you into a maneater stealing his heart and mind.”

“You look stunning,” he said, watching you walk out of the bathroom of your suite. “I mean…wow.” Bucky eyed you up and down. 

“I,” you shook your head. The dress felt like a second skin, but you felt like it was suffocating you. The heels were too high and the make-up too much for your liking. 

In other words – this wasn’t you. But if wearing a short and figure-hugging dress, too much make-up, and heels makes John fall for you again, so be it.

“Go ahead, doll,” Bucky said and gently nudged you toward the entrance of the fancy restaurant. All you had to do was walk inside, pass John’s table by, and sit at the table Bucky reserved for you. He’d take care of the new girl by your fiancé’s side and distract her long enough for John to fall for you again. “He will love you.”

You took a deep breath and got the show on the road. While walking inside the restaurant, you held your head high and didn’t look at anyone. Including John.

For a second, you heard him gasp when you walked past his table, but you resisted the urge to turn your head to look his way.

You used the few words you learned in Romanian from Bucky to order water and food. The whole time you didn’t look at John’s table, always busy talking to the waiter, checking your phone, or reading the tourist guide Bucky bought for you.

“Y/N?” You only looked up when John was standing right in front of your table. He looked surprised and a little scared. “What are you doing here?”

“John?” You acted surprised too. “What are you doing here?”

“I told you about the convention, didn’t I?” He cocked his head to look you up and down. His eyes trained on your chest he murmured your name when you acted like you forgot about him, the convention, and the fact that he left you for some other girl. 

“Oh, that was in Romania. I can’t remember, sorry. With all the things going on in my life, the cancellation of our wedding and buying a new apartment I forgot about you.”

He sat down and puffed his chest. John tried, just like he did before he asked you out on a date for the first time, to impress you. You smiled and let his compliments and charm wash over you.

John and you dined together, and it almost felt like back then. And when he asked you to join him in his hotel room, you didn’t hesitate to follow him.

A few days ago, you would’ve happily given in to his advances. A few hours ago, you dreamed of being with him again. 

But at that moment, all you could think about was the guy you ran into while chasing your unfaithful fiancé.

His lips didn’t feel perfect against yours any longer, and the weight on top of yours didn’t make you feel how you should. 

“No, stop,“ you pushed him off you. “This isn’t right.”

“Baby, it’s right. I was a fool,” you whimpered at his words.

“I came here to hunt you down and win you over again but..” You got off the bed and grabbed your dress. “Not a few hours ago you wanted to marry that woman. Tonight, you believe I’m some sexy wonder woman but in the morning, I’m still the same woman I used to be.”

He tried to stop you, but you shook your head. “Please give me another chance. I was blinded by lust and—” He trailed off. “Maybe I was scared of the future and getting married.”

“You weren’t scared of marrying that woman you barely knew,” you cocked your head and gave him a sad smile. “Just tell me the truth. You’re not made for normalcy and me.” You bitterly admitted. “I’m not exciting and wild. Only the reliable and boring woman you easily forgot about the moment you met someone else.”

“You did what?” Bucky threw his hands up as you ran to him after you turned John down. “Why? I mean…all the effort and you let him off the hook?”

“It didn’t feel right,” you murmured and dropped your gaze.

“Why?”

“Why what?” You asked.

“Why did you turn him down,” he stepped closer to gently cup your face. “Tell me why, prinţesă.”

“I can’t…”

“Why?” He softly asked. “Doll?”

“I’m scared.”

“Tell me,” Bucky leaned closer to whisper against your lips. “Please.”

“Te iubesc,“ you whispered.

“I love you too,” he pressed his lips to yours and wrapped his arms around you. Right at that moment, you forgot about John and your past together. All that counted was Bucky holding you in his arms.

Tags in reblog.

[agendabymooner]

MASTERLIST: O-Z by agendabymooner

LINK TO MASTERLIST: A-N F1 DRIVERS by agendabymooner

LINK TO SOMETHING SINFUL (SMUT) MASTERLIST by agendabymooner (MINORS DNI)

note: part two of my masterlist!

legends/genre:

a = angst g = general fic hc = hurt/comfort h = humour

s = smut (minors, dni) mc = mature content (minors, dni) f = fluff

★ - newly added ♡ - favourite piece

esteban ocon (eo31)

the royal wildcard, smau: the british media's good at getting the juiciest details of gossip from the palace, but much to their dismay, princess albertine spencer followed the footsteps of her brother harry and had done an amazing job at hiding her marriage with a certain alpine driver for three months. (f, g, h)

the royal resemblance, smau: albertine ocon lived to give her estranged family something to talk about because of her physical appearance that could be confused with her mother's ghost. too bad, ditty ocon was born into the world with the same heart attack-inducing features.

ditty and estie greet the world, fic: diana 'ditty' ocon looked so much like her namesake but act more like her father with her shyness.

pato o'ward (po29)

caught 'em lacking, smau: diwa arellano is mclaren f1's social media admin. so what if her constant teasing of oscar bites her in the ass and accidentally posts something that could potentially compromise her job? meanwhile, lando and oscar laugh at her demise while pato finds it endearing.

yapping and lacking, smau: people are slowly catching onto pato and diwa's connections during the winter break, when mclaren released their own podcast. ★

sergio perez (sp11)

she's beauty, she's grace, smau: in which carmella ayala perez, the miss universe 2018 winner, tied the knot with checo after their five years of relationship and the birth of their second child.

oscar piastri (op81)

lomi and the piastri fiasco (filo!gen z!ofc)

jollibee, madrid and all that romantic fiasco, smau: paloma san pedro is carlos sainz's cousin-in-law who also introduced oscar to his newly found filipino fast food chain addiction. safe to say that he bought a ticket last minute just so he can obsess over her, too.

live tweets, japan and all that romance fiasco, smau: how oscar's podium win in the japanese gp led to the revelation of his relationship with carlos sainz's in-law, paloma. lesson learned: just call her "pal" then she'll spill the tea for the both of you easily (f, h)

lucky charms, qatar and all that romance fiasco, smau: oscar is quite a forgetful guy, he forgot to mention to carlos, his future in-law, that paloma was his sprint lucky charm. (f)

long distance, england and all that romance fiasco, smau: paloma moved to england a year after enduring a long distance relationship with oscar.

extra: birthdays, manila and all that romance fiasco: before the japanese grand prix week, oscar had his own birthday party held in jollibee - a dream come true for him, really. ★

other pieces

12345sex, smau: oscar is secretly freaky and mercury nicoletta had to show him off at some point.

kimi raikkonen (kr7)

stop the world i wanna get off with you, smau: vera 'coppa' coppola-raikkonen is the only one who can make the iceman talk a lot. she's also the only one who can make the chatty versions of him as their three older children (romania, rooney and johann-lauri) make their presence known to the racing community. (f, g, h)

someone's dad, socmed snapshot: kimi being the coolest dad, a series.

daniel ricciardo (dr3)

✿ rush smau series - daniel ricciardo x ofc (lester alessandro) ★

other pieces

leaked, smau: daniel ricciardo is a borderline blabbermouth. (filo!ofc)

when danny said, smau: daniel + sadie samuels = it feels just right. (country singer!ofc) ★

george russell (gr63)

his family and her lover, smau: eleanora 'nora' alessandro was more than happy for george's willingness to step up as her children's father regardless of how people poorly reacted on their relationship.

she's magic (youtuber!singer!ofc)

the multifaceted gf and her pets, smau: arabella 'ara' elgin is multitalented and her haters couldn't do much about it as she released a new song about her relationship with george.

carlos sainz jr. (cs55)

two worlds entangling (filipino!ofc)

ride home, smau: the ferrari driver accidentally outed himself as a married man, so mona magdalena sainz stepped in to say hi to his loyal fans. (f, g, h) (extra)

dear, smau: nobody loved each other more than magda and carlos sainz. OR a series of tweets in which magda and carlos never took each other seriously. (h)

pag-ibig, traducido (love, translated), fic: no matter what cultural context and backstories, magda and carlos' souls were entwined into one all thanks to the languages of love that they shared. OR times when the spanish and filipino defined their love in many languages. (f) ♡

logan sargeant (ls2)

he's her lobster, smau: eugenia 'genie' newton + logan sargeant = mondler (h)

mick schumacher (ms47)

big mick energy series (x filo!ofc)

she's everything... and he's just mick, smau: barbara 'barbie' blanco is the vettel family's foster child that gradually turned to kimi vettel's nanny and mick's crush? (f, g)

"besties", smau: everyone swore that mick and barbie are more than "babysitting pardners" (f)

who is kenough, smau: mick nearly took the piss from arthur leclerc after the posts that the monegasque had of barbie. too bad, mick was already hers before arthur could even try. (feat. arthur leclerc)

kenergy unfolded, fic: written version of who is kenough OR arthur leclerc was only scheming just so mick could do something about revealing his relationship with barbie. ♡

the vibing allan and the reluctant ken, smau: for mick, there are only two words to describe his girlfriend's best friend arthur: a headache. OR arthur leclerc is a third wheel that mick always get on a fight with. thankfully, barbie had fair experiences with boys who are petulant and childish at times (kimi and seb)

barbie and the schuminis

mick multiplied, socmed snapshot: girl dad!mick that's all

the little schuminis, fic: 4 times when mick showed his devotion + 1 time his devotion paid off

lance stroll (ls18)

gotta be you, smau: bora mckinnon made her presence known in the paddock one year after lance broke up with her. now, they're all over the media because of his presence in her three birthday celebrations. the question still stands: are they getting back together?

diors and diecasts, socmed snapshot: lance stroll is sassy but so was his carbon copy. OR according to him, his son was a victim of the only child apocalypse. he also said that while buying his son everything he could get his hands on.

yuki tsunoda (yt22)

line without a hook, smau: pia ellis misses her mystery bf that everyone thought to be her delusions. it turns out he's a formula one driver who definitely misses her too.

chaos family, socmed snapshot: yuki is a dad to the little mini yukis known as hana and shin.

all-american bitch, smau: some people didn't like pia's blunt and genuinely straightforward personality. that's too bad. ★

max verstappen (mv1)

✿ to loathe and to love series - max verstappen x hearth sister!ofc (sylvie ford) ♡

to loathe and to love: extras (x ofc)

lost in japan, smau: just two lost souls (with a tour guide) travelling to japan to make up for the childhood they missed. (f)

the purple chronicle (x ferrari!ofc)

paint him red, smau: alfrieda 'dina' ferrari is the only woman who can mark him as a ferrari fan - and he was quite alright with that.

sebastian vettel (sv5)

✿ sweet rich life, smau + fics series masterlist - sebastian vettel x ofc (bel ong) ★

mark webber (mw2)

the problem with following orders, smau: lydia 'liddy' vettel was what everyone considered 'a revenge best served cold.' of course that was a joke, it wasn't entirely either of their fault they were too drawn at each other. (g, h) ♡

toto wolff

✿ colour me your colour series masterlist - toto wolff x hearth sister!ofc (tilly marie hearth) series

colour me your colour: extras (x ofc)

the paddock's resident it girl, smau: besides from owning three of mercedes' competitors in the track and being the mercedes team principal's wife, she's also known as the cool girl of the paddock for her taste in fashion and husband. (f)

the paddock's lucky husband, smau: with him being spoon-fed with love from his children and wife, toto really couldn't ask for more. OR tilly wolff liked to talk about fashion but her family? she might as well write a whole book about them. (f)

the paddock's resident menace and the dame, smau: tilly wolff was presented with a damehood and her daughter tia, the girl who tends to act on her mischievous way (all thanks to toto), celebrated her 7th birthday during the silverstone gp week. fans recall her best moments in sky sports and media overall.

the paddock's iconic team owners, smau: toto and tilly wolff are considered the king and the queen of formula one for a good reason.

the arrow and the bull speared through the hearth, fic: tia wolff learned a lot from her papa and uncle christian, and tilly had to teach them a lesson too. (h)

the paddock's drive to survive, smau: in which, toto's wife tilly became a part of the season six of the netflix series 'drive to survive'. OR everyone believed her to be a part of big controversies in the formula one season of 2023.

#tbt, socmed snapshot: too many throwbacks, so little time.

other pieces

twentieth sommer of love, smau: toto wolff celebrated his 20 years of marriage with his childhood friend/wife and their four kids. OR everyone wondered why irish sommer was referred to as 'the bitch of the runway.' (supermodel!ofc)

formula equals endurance, smau: tomi roxas became the biggest name in the f1 drivers' market when she announced her retirement from world endurance championship. the problem? everyone's linking her up to a certain austrian that she's had a crush for years. ★ (driver!ofc)

f1 drivers (general / multiple pairing)

✿ 9 to 5 series masterlist - f1 grid x ofc (lester alessandro) ft. fictional wolff kids

✿ f1 voicemail blurbs - series of blurbs with voicemails left by the drivers. ★

too much caring, smau, sv5 + jb22: kpop idol juno was assumed to have cheated on retired driver jenson button with his best mate sebastian vettel. oh how wrong those people were...

[meiideryz]

map to my heart.

pairing: wong hendery x reader

length: 1.06k

tags: alternative universe, university/college au, friends to lovers, indirect confession, mutual attraction, tooth-rotting fluff, best friend! hendery, assistant librarian!reader, based on true experience.

note: i was inspired by a conversation i had with my ex-crush when i was with them in the library where our lesson on a subject took place

"how well do you know your geography?" hendery's voice was gentle and low, keeping himself quiet in the back of the library with students who cannot be disrupted.

he watched you looking at the library globe before your eyes met with his. after finishing an activity that his professor had given him, he was able to freely look around, and there he saw you at the back with the globe you were spinning at a slow place. it was a fortunate meeting, knowing how well you often visit the library since you were an assistant in helping the librarian after all.

“do you know your geography?”

this time, you returned the same question to him, and of course he knew. he just wanted to test how good you were, and with a smile on his face, he responded. “of course, would you like a challenge?”

“i'm down,” hendery loved how there was no hesitation in your tone, and he especially loved your competitiveness when it comes to interests you both have in common. “only because i can totally win over you.”

“oh? really?” his hand made its way to touch the globe, preparing himself for a little game of spotting the country. “give me a name, then.”

“laos.” you said, and he smiled at you.

“easy,” he began spinning the globe in front of him, looking for the location you had asked him to find. “if you know countries from asean very well, then there's no difficulty in searching for it.”

pausing the sphere, hendery's forefinger pointed to the land just above thailand before he gave you a victorious grin. “see? now try looking for sri lanka for me.”

he heard you let out a huff, watching you already turning the spherical ball, and when you showed him that you had already spotted it, he gave a fake sound of a terrible whine which almost made you laugh. covering your mouth with your palm, your other hand made its way to his arm with a light smack. both of you suppressed a laugh, knowing how much they could get in trouble if they ever disturbed the library, with him being thrown out and you enduring another scolding session from the librarian.

“you really should stop making weird noises if you don't want to be thrown out from here.” giggling in a whisper, he couldn't help but fall in love with the way you beamed at him.

hendery was so, so in love with you.

he moved to stand beside you with his head leaning closer to your ear, saying, “shoot me a name, sweetie.” 

you hummed, pretending to think for a little long time. gazing over your hand ghostly touching his knuckles, the little butterflies flew around inside his stomach. the fingertips of your hands running over his then the surface of the globe before he heard you utter out, “cyprus.” 

nodding to your next challenge, he made his way to look thoroughly around the ball. a chuckle left his lips, feeling as if he was starting to sweat despite the cold breeze of the air-conditioned room. “maybe i’m reconsidering your knowledge on geography, after all.” your voice softly echoed in his ears. he wasn’t going to give up so easily for some country he wasn’t familiar with. 

continuing to search, he whispered to you, “from what i remember, it’s close to romania, am i right?” 

“close.”

hendery droned out a steady continuous sound, staring at the map of europe in front of him. if it was close to what he stated earlier, and the name sounds close to some greek mythology name. “then i'm guessing it would be near greece, so…”

forefinger gliding through the map, he eventually found cyprus below turkey. another victorious win, he smiled at you. “there.”

“you’re not as bad as i thought.” your compliment had earned him another good slap in the heart, and it would always make him do somersaults every time you do. with the way you look at him like that, with that contagious smile and laughter, he could never stop feeling things for you.

“okay, my turn.” you said, “give me a name.”

“show me…” hendery trailed off, his body moving backwards to face your back. watching you turn around, you let out a small gasp as you were taken aback when he caged you in between his arms. “hendery, what are you doing?”

“show me where the map to my heart is.” his voice was serious, and yet there was still a glint of delight in his tone. the smile never wiped off from his face while he stared into your eyes. sure, it was abrupt and unexpected, but he wasn't being playful in a way that would annoy you, and his seriousness was giving a turn.

“i…” now you were the one who was tongue-tied, and him being the patient person he was, he waited for you to respond. it was simple, if you reject him at this time and moment, he would respect that and back off this instant.

"the question is just simple," without wiping the smug off his face, he let out a fake yawn that is not loud enough to disturb the other students in the library at the front. "show me where it is." with the way he carefully and audibly emphasized each word, you started to laugh in such a nervous state.

"a-are you joking right now?"

"huh, what's that?" he brought his hand to his ear, pretending to not hear you despite being a short distance away from you. that smile of his never dropped.

“sweetie if you're just gonna stand there and stare at me then i might as well win this challange—”

“i think i know where it is.” you quickly uttered out, breaking your silence. he was curious to know what was on your mind, and so he crossed his arms against his chest, lips curling up to put up a smug look.

“really? i'm curious to see if you actually know it.”

“well, if i can remember, it starts from here…”

he observed the way your finger reached out to point your own chest where your heart is at rest before making out a line until your palm was against his chest to his beating heart. hendery sucked up a good amount of air at the contact, his gaze still never left yours.

“...to here.”

©MEIIDERYZ 2024. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv!

Any chance you have a rec list for Harry/Charlie somewhere? I'm reading Closure is a State of Mind by Quicksilvermaid and it's giving me a craving. Thank you!

Hi there! Ohh I love Closure, peak angst and so beautifully written by @quicksilvermaid. Funny, I was sure I had done something for this ship but when I checked I saw it was a Draco/Charlie list instead 🤡 so here are some Harry/Charlie recs!

Kinkuary 2023 ch 10 by @sorrybutblog

Beauty in the Sleeping Forest by @wolfpants (M, 720 words)

On a wild camping trip chasing dragons, Harry watches Charlie sleep.

trust by onbeinganangel (E, 1.5k)

Charlie knows now that being a brat is Harry’s nature. Harry knows he’ll get something out of it. Which doesn’t mean Charlie won’t make him suffer for it.

Voyeur by @writcraft (E, 1.8k)

Charlie interrupts Harry one night at the Burrow, and shows him just how much he likes to watch.

In the Still of the Night by lauren3210 (E, 2k)

Harry sleeps, and Charlie watches, and remembers the fire that burned bright in his innocence.

every touch unravels by @gracerene (E, 2k)

Harry's got a surprise for Charlie.

I want to pull your hair by @zigster-ao3 (T, 2.5k)

Charlie Weasley's mere presence wreaks havoc on Harry Potter's hormones.

Skin Deep by Woldy (E, 3k)

There was nothing inherently intimate about sticking his cock into someone, but there's a lot of personal history tied up in Charlie's ink.

Tonight Let's Get Some by Writcraft (E, 4.6k)

Harry discovers private karaoke rooms are great for blow jobs, gets a crash course in Muggle music and hopes that One Direction songs are the way to Charlie Weasley’s cock heart.

Use My Last Breath (to say I love you) by @cassiaratheslytherpuff (E, 6k)

Harry loves the way Charlie's hands feel around his neck. He's not sure how to feel about the tiny dragon or the long-distance relationship.

Have You Ever? by @doubleappled (E, 9k)

Half a lifetime ago, Harry spent an awful summer in Romania with Charlie Weasley. Now, he’s determined to follow up on the seeds that were planted back then.

Charlie & Harry, Sittin' In A Tree by Elle Gray (E, 10k)

Christmas at the Burrow is a welcome break from the pressure of eighth year and all that it entails. Classes Harry's not prepared for, a malaise he can't quite shake, and a feeling like maybe his roommate might be up to something (like seducing him). And Charlie? Charlie is a welcome break from Harry's right hand.

Bonus: Drarry + Charlie

Together by @primavera-cerezos (E, 2.4k)

Harry tells Draco about his history with Charlie. Draco asks Harry to invite Charlie over. They get together.

A Dragon's Heartstring at the Core by tryslora (E, 2.5k)

It may not be what Harry ever imagined, but it's definitely what he wants. What both he and Charlie want. Now to get Draco to understand.

jesus, etc by @oknowkiss (E, 3k)

a story of harry and draco and a month in the midnight sun of norway, told in 31 moments.

that kind of morning pleasure by @bafflinghaze (E, 3.5k)

Harry’s daily orgasmic wake up call becomes extra plentiful this morning

how to win (despite yourself) by curiouslyfic (M, 5k)

Charlie knows he's only got Draco until Harry makes his move. Just, Charlie's gotten attached now and Draco's not easy to give up.

One, Two, Three by gracerene (E, 6k)

He and Draco had talked about it before, inviting somebody else into their bed for the night, but it had only ever been in theory. Tonight, Draco seemed set on making it a reality.

Licurici by @lou-isfake (E, 133k)

Charlie wanted Harry, but he’d never planned on having him. He’d never planned on Draco Malfoy, either. He hadn’t planned on anything but living out his days in Romania, with his friends and his dragons and his safe, peaceful distance.

[gaysindistress]

When Night Comes - Fifteen

Summary: Who would win in a staring contest? New York’s resident mob boss and master of the side eye Bucky Barnes or the daycare teacher who really wants to go home and smoke?

pairing: Mob!Vampire!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: cursing, lowkey smutty times, talks of sex/sexual things, mentions of death/murder/dead body, angst, there's a second rat in the Strigoi gang (sorry not sorry)

Word count: 2.7k

Fourteen | masterlist

A/n: Once again the wonderful @vonalyn came in clutch and helped me with this part💕💕 I'm officially done with my bachelor's so I'll have more time to write 😭

tag list: @cakesandtom @elizacusi-blog @unaxv @hidden-treasures21 @buckybarnessimpp @vonalyn @thebuckybarnesvault

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

March 3, 1922

New York City

Sweat beads on her brow as she shoves her exhausted body behind a brick wall. Her chest constricts when she hears the sick sounds of laughter and inhuman like growls. The group of disgusting feral men that were chasing her are nearing with every passing moment and she is running out of options. They call out to her: “Celeste, come out come out wherever you are. Your Strigoi bastard of a husband can’t protect you now.” 

Another round of sick laughter falls on her ears as she chokes back a sob when their foul smell rips into her nose. Celeste’s fight or flight senses are working themselves into the dirt but nothing is coming up to help her. Having been turned many years before, she gave up any magic that she had been born with and she pleads with her ancestors to save her just this once. 

“Please,” she begs internally as she looks tearfully to the sky. The Lycan gang is closing in on her when the dark night sky opens up and a steak of lightening answers her prayers. 

May 25, 1923

Bucharest, Romania

“What do you mean I can’t go back?” Celeste scoffs at her husband who is refusing to look at her, “Bucky.”

He keeps his calm composure when he issues his final verdict, “It’s too dangerous. Your coven agreed to keep you safe as long as you remain here.”

“You spoke to my coven without me? You could’ve gotten yourself killed, you absolute fool! Any agreement with them will only result in your suffering, you must know that.”

“All that matters is that you’re safe, okay? End of story,” he hisses after turning to face his angry wife.

She shakes her head at his stupid decision, “when?”

When he doesn’t answer, she demands again, “When did you do this?” 

“Yesterday.”

She takes a deep breath and twists the ring he had given her the night before, “What did you agree to?”

Bucky doesn’t speak for a long while and meets her stare. 

He relents but only to give up one piece of information, “As long as you’re on Romanian soil and wearing your ring, you will be safe.”

“I can’t believe you,” she whispers, “You went behind my back, made a century long deal, and hid it from me? I told you that I had this handled but of course, you had to do it yourself and make things worse in the process.”

“I did what I had to do, Celeste. We didn’t have the time to wait around another 10 months for you to negotiate with those con artists” and with that he leaves her to ponder over his words. 

Her anger boils to the surface, unable to keep itself under control. She lets out something akin to a roar and in the process, breaks Bucky’s heart. 

January 7, 1945

Peggy smiles nervously at Celeste as they both jitter and anticipation. Bucky and Steve are awaiting the bride and her maid of honor just on the other side of the doors. Seeing as how Peggy ran away, there’s very few people in attendance at this wedding. Very few meaning quite literally only ten. Various Strigoi from other territories and witches forced there by treaties make up the small crowd. 

A townsperson well trusted by Bucky holds the doors shut. He gives them a brief and tightlipped smile before opening the doors.

Onward goes the wedding, and within moments, the happy couple are married. An elaborate celebration follows all thanks to Bucky and his love for his best friend since birth Steve. A witch that Celeste recognizes as an elder for the coven, Marguerite, beckons her towards the back of the room and away from the prying eyes. When she approaches the woman, she’s led out and that’s when Marguerite lays the worst news Celeste would be given - the full truth behind Romania’s curse.

In his efforts to protect the one he loved most, Bucky made a blood deal with her coven - one that would mean his ruination as well if it breaks. While the coven agreed to protect Celeste by banning Lycans for a century, what they did not tell him was if he didn’t do as he promised to keep her there, Celeste would no longer be protected and a ban on both Lycan and Strigoi would be put in place.

While the coven’s power pulls from Celeste’s line of doppelgängers, she had been the most powerful that was until she was turned. Becoming a Strigoi meant that her connection to her coven and the power they needed ended. If they wanted to ever regain that beacon, Celeste would need to die and soon so that the new doppelgänger could be born.

Seeing as how the Lycan had tried to kill her in the past several times, her death would be inevitable so the coven would get everything they wanted; a thought that made her skin crawl and her stomach to rotten. 

“What else did you lie to him about?” Celeste hissed at the old woman. 

Marguerite shrugged, “We did not lie to him. It is his fault if he did not ask for the full agreement.” 

“I’ll ask then, what else did he agree to?”

“He will bring us our next binecuvântat, blessed one.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

She smiled a devilish smile, “He will. We have made certain of it.”

June 26, 1948

The Wright Lycan family had finally made true on their promise to take all that Bucky loved from him. 

The evidence? 

Celeste’s body floating lifelessly in the foul waters of the Hudson river and a picture of her nailed to the front door of their shared home. 

Steve could do nothing to console Bucky and figured it best to let the feral, grief driven man hold his wife one last time. Peggy collapsed into Steve’s arms as Bucky pulled Celeste from the water, chanting that it had been her fault, that she was supposed to be with her but wasn’t feeling good so she stayed home. 

His screams of agony could be heard for miles. All else had been fallen silent as Bucky mourned the murder of his love. 

Sometime in 2022

The thin silver chain never bothered him but the weight of the ring that it carried was a constant reminder of the hole in his heart. 

The metal of the small band that she had worn for years burned against his neck as Bucky got out of his car to pick up Wyatt. The burn turned into a deep ache that engulfed his entire body to the point of him almost doubling over in pain. He had to grip the door handle to the school as it raked over his body. The smell of jasmine and honey instantly soothed his pain and Wyatt tackled him moments later. 

Picking up the small boy, the ache turned into a pulling sensation that wanted Bucky to follow that sweet smell and his breath left his body once again when he found the source. Before him stood Celeste or what appeared to be a doppelgänger of her. That small sweet smile was what he saw noticed first but he hopes of his love returning to him were dashed when he saw the hallow look in this woman’s eyes. Years of heart ache and misery had dampened the light that he knew used to live in her warm eyes but still the necklace begged to take its rightful place around her neck. 

“Hi, can I see your ID?” she asked. 

Wyatt giggled in his arms and brought Bucky back down to earth as he fumbled for his wallet. 

She handed back his ID, “Thank you Mr. Barnes. I’m the new site director and I’m carding all adults at pick up until I know everyone.”

Her voice nearly shattered him as he hadn’t heard it in years, “Bucky… You can call me Bucky.”

She smiled, “Sunny.”

Present 

Luca paces the kitchen, wearing even more ruts into the ancient stone floor with his anxiety. Thor, Loki, and Ana Cristina ignore him as they hunch over their own books, all searching for something to lead them into the right direction. They had been at it for hours but nothing had been found. Loki makes a show of slamming his book shut and leaning back as he speaks,  “Maybe this isn’t something we fix, Ana. Y/N is the doppelgänger that he’s supposed to bring back and she’s here now so I don’t really see how the Lycan being here has anything to do with us.”

She shoots him an angry look, “They shouldn’t be here so yes this is something that we fix. If they’re here, that means something is wrong.”

“I don’t see it that way,” he counters, “We get to Y/N first and boom, no more problems. We get our magic restored to full strength and then we can deal with those demoni, demons.” 

Luca gasps in horror and looks around to make sure that no one else is around, “those demoni as you so brashly called them are our friends, neighbors, employers. Show them more respect than that and get back to searching for an answers.”

Thor takes his cue to speak up, “I agree with Loki. Why do we have to protect them when we could very easily get Y/N to come with us? She hates Bucky doesn’t she?” “It’s becoming quite the opposite,” another voice pipes in and the group freezes. Peggy steps out from the shadows and all but glides over to them. She lands a hand on Loki’s shoulder as she continues, “they’re starting to develop feelings, dare I say fall in love so she’s not going to just leave. You’ll have to convince her and with how stubborn she is, I doubt any of you’d be successful.”

She looks around the group and narrows her eyes on the elderly woman, “But you. You’re the only other person that she trusts besides Bucky.  It wouldn’t be that hard if you were the one to do it.”

“I would…”

Peggy waves a hand in annoyance, “‘I would never do that.’ Don’t feed me some lie about how he’s been kind to you and you could never betray his trust like that. Bucky turned your beloved doppelgänger and nearly ended your entire coven. He was the one who got her murdered and nearly cursed your people in the process. He would do it to you and you know that because he is not a loyal creature. You are though, Ana Cristina, show that loyalty and do what’s right by your coven.”

Alix’s phone rings and John looks to her. 

“Apparently Loki and Thor are the only ones that are willing to take one for the team,” she sneers, “Peggy is pretty much useless now so looks like we need another plan and quick before Ana and Luca blab to Bucky.”

“Already ahead of you,” John says as he drops his phone into her lap, “Juliette found a way in… well more like she found someone to get us in.”

Alix twists her head back to look at Juliette is curled into a ball, reading a book, “Oh? Finally started pulling your own weight?”

Eyes trained on the book, she says, “no, gaining trust actually takes time but it’s not like you’d know that.”

“Excuse me?”

Brock chokes on his coffee on the other side of the couch and John shots him a stern look. 

“People don’t usually respond well to physical intimidation. Didn’t your mom teach you that violence isn’t always the answer or did you beat her too?”

Alix is on her feet in seconds, her chair sliding backwards from the force of her standing. She rips the book from Juliette’s hands and pushes her further into the cushions. 

“I never beat anyone.”

Juliette can feel the Lycan in her wanting to shrink back but she can’t. She refuses to back down from this, “I saw the bruises, the marks, the handprints. I saw the way Y/N shook when you were next to her or how she’d flinch when you’d touch her. I watched her become more and more afraid of you but still stayed. I saw it all, everyone did.”

“I didn’t beat Y/N.”

“You can lie to yourself all you want but you’re not fooling anyone. Why else would you be chasing after her?”

Alix fights the urge to rip Juliette’s throat out with her teeth, “I love her.”

The former rat of the Lycan gang rolls her eyes, “No you’re abusive and pissed off that your victim got away.”

Alix growls and goes to lung at her but Brock and John are quick to pull her away before any damage is done.

Brock slides over and gently pushes Alix back, “Let it go. We need her to get to Yelena.” 

She freezes, “Yelena? That’s who your fucking contact is?”

John speaks up, “Apparently she didn’t know some things about Bucky and Peggy enlightened her for us.”

“I have a hard time believing that but,” she growls again at Juliette, “we don’t have a choice. After this, though, you’re fucking done and I’ll kill you myself.”

“Okay okay, so what does it feel like?” 

Bucky stares up at the night sky, blue eyes scanning over the stars and the full moon. The grass under his head crunches as he turns it to look at Y/N. 

“What does what feel like?” 

“Drinking, what does it feel like?”

His brows furrow although he knows what she’s referring to. 

“Don’t make me spell it out,” she gives him a bored look but does so anyway, “what does drinking someone’s blood feel like?”

“What does drinking water feel like?”

She rolls her eyes, “I mean does it feel good?”

“It can feel like an orgasm sometimes.” 

Sharply inhaling, she quickly recovers and attempts to pick a new subject, “can you eat human food?”

He turns his head back with a smirk, “it’s like when you can’t stop thinking about someone all day and you’re so turned on that it hurts. Nothing makes it better, your hand doesn’t do the job but there isn’t a toy that compares either. The only thing that makes it even a little bit better is the person that you’ve been thinking of. When you finally do get to fuck them, you almost don’t last but when you do cum, it’s life changing. You forgot your name and how to breathe , all that you can think of is them. That’s what drinking from someone feels like.” 

While he can’t see her, he can feel how her body has gotten hotter and how she’s started to squirm so much that she accidentally brushes against his side. He didn’t need to use any of his heightened senses to tell that his little monologue had the desired effect. 

“I can show you,” he offers. 

“Show me? What are ....” She trails off when she realizes what he’s actually offering and he chuckles, “do it.”

Courage swirls in her chest albeit not for long as he moves from laying beside her to settling between her legs. The muscles of his bicep bulge as he lowers himself to whisper against her ear, “you think I don’t hear your moans at night when you touch yourself or how frustrated you get because it’s your hand and not mine?” 

Y/N’s eyes open wide at his confession and she can feel his smirk grows even bigger as he dips his head to kiss under her ear. 

“I can’t say that I’m much better though. Ever since that night, all I’ve thought about is you. Everything is you, you, you,” he emphasizes his point with wet kisses that trail down her neck and jawline, " I can't tell you how many times I’ve found myself in front of your door at night.”

“Coward,” she mutters and he freezes. 

Bucky pulls back enough to look at her, “what did you just call me?” 

Taking this opportunity, she pushes up onto her elbows and almost causes him to fall to the side. 

“I called you a coward for not doing anything,” she playfully teases him, “if you can hear me saying your name, you can definitely hear everything else I say in between.”

“I’m the coward? No no,” he leans into her, “I think you’re the coward here. My room is only two doors down, Dragă and i’ve never found you outside my door..”

“I only found that out a few days ago.”

“That’s a lie,” he snorts, “I distinctly remember pointing out my room to you when we got here. If you weren’t listening because you’re too hard headed, that’s on you.”

Y/N fully pushes him back and he does fall to the side this time. She springs to her feet and starts to walk backwards. 

“Where are you going?” He asks as he gets to his feet and she starts walking faster away from him. 

“To my room.”

“Why’s that?”

She gives him a wink and says, “to test if you’ll come into my room tonight,” before taking off in a full sprint towards the house. 

He shakes his head and chuckles before chasing after her. 

A twig snaps off to his right and a pair of gold eyes flash beyond the tree line.

Yelena curses under her breathe as she ducks behind the trees so neither Bucky nor Y/N sees her. The owner of the gold eyes comes to her side, shivering and wrapping her coat around her tighter.

“We couldn’t have met during the day?” Juliette muttered, rubbing her arms with her hands.

The blonde nervously looks toward the house before speaking, “no. I’m already doing something stupid, I don’t want to add to it.”

“Fine. Did you bring it?”

The it being a gun, Bucky’s matte black Glock 19 to be exact, that Yelena pulled from her holster.

“You can get rid of the hex, right?”

Juliette takes it from her hands and examines the gun, “I mean not entirely. I can reverse it so that the hex effects Peggy but that’s all. Will that be a problem?”

Shrugging, Yelena glances back at the house, “if you’re not lying to me, then she deserves this. Alix still thinks I’m helping you, right?”

Juliette nods, “only problem is she’s starting to get impatient so the timeline is speeding up and I don’t know how long you have anymore .”

“Don’t worry about me,” Yelena assures her, “just get the hex reversed and bring it back as soon as you can. I’m sure Bucky’s going to find out you’re here soon enough so we’ll be ready for her.”

The other woman gives her a skeptical look but let’s her worries go nonetheless. She tucks the gun into her waist and disappears into the forest behind them.

Stress grows thick in Yelena’s heart but she still knows that what she’s doing is the right thing… for Y/N. Partnering with the enemy would be frowned upon usually but if the enemy is turning against their own, it’s a different story or so she hopes.

[sacrdoath]

Listening to Unfortunate Soul by Kailee Morgue and thinking of Claudia.

Wooden cage where I lay / Would you let me out to play?

Except it's Claudia as Baby Lu, trapped in that wooden cage the Théâtre des Vampires call a stage as a child for the next 50 years, at least.

Crystal heart in the graveyard / I think it's time for a new start

Except it's Claudia deciding to move on. To leave Lestat and New Orleans behind to start fresh. To try and find a home for herself. She is the only one who thinks that way.

Blinded eyes to my surprise / You long to see what you can find / Flightless bird I know you're hurt / It's not the life that you deserve

Except it's Claudia trying to convince Louis to leave Leastat, in life and in death. Upon his incessant and repetitive refusals to do so, the pity she feels for him turns to resentment.

And I want you to know that

Except it's Claudia talking through Daniel as he reads her diaries. It's Claudia talking to Madeline as she reads her diaries. She's talking through Louis and his memory of her. Unable to speak for herself but haunting the narrative.

I'm an unfortunate soul / Unlucky yeah I've been told / I've still got room to grow

Except it's ironic, because Claudia is undead. She can't grow. She'll never be anything but stuck in her "flat chested, hairless-crotched 14-year-old baby doll body."

I'm an unfortunate soul / It's just the way that I roll / Cruising the highs and the lows

Except it's Claudia learning to adapt. To Vampirism. To living life on her own. To travelling in search of something only she has faith in. To coven life. To being alone. To being no-one's first choice.

Shattered bones and dead end roads / Faded maps where do I go? / Stepped on cracks and broken backs / My mother knows I love her so

Except it's specifically about Claudia in Romania. She has no clue where to start on the search for more of her kind and lead after lead turns up a dead end. She's confused and afraid and feeling more alone than ever.

Ripped up shoes they will make do / There's places I'd like to go to / Daydreaming what could have been / But I know I'm not made to win

Except it's when Claudia devises her escape plan; beginning in a luggage cart and ending when Lestat tracks her down and forces her to return before she gets the chance to see the world.

Who says that I can't be tough / Be a diamond in the rough / That I just can't be loved / I think enough's enough

Except it's Claudia's last stand. She's proving Armand wrong, and Lestat, and Louis. She's dying with her chin up and her head held high. She's dying knowing that she was Madeline's first choice. As she sings that stupid song while the sunlight burns her alive, Claudia smiles. She can die happy, knowing that she was far tougher than any of them thought she could ever be.

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2004 - Number 5 - Ruslana - "Wild Dances"

For the second year in a row, the actual winner of Eurovision has finished top five in my run through of the year - an excellent result for Ruslana and Ukraine. With only their second ever entry, Ukraine show that they mean business by sending the perfect combination (for the period) between ethnic music and a girl bop.

Ruslana was born in Lviv with the full name Ruslana Stepanivna Lyzhychko. At the age of 23, she won the Slavic Bazaar music competition in Vitebsk in Belarus, and was nominated as Ukrainian singer of the year. By 1998, she'd graduated to winning Ukrainian Person of the year partly for her voice, but also for setting up a charity and fundraising for the restoration of Zolochiv Castle in Lviv oblast. In 1999 she starred in Ostanne rizdvo 90th (Ukrainian Film of the Year).

By 2004, NTU knew it was time to bring Ruslana to a wider audience and internally selected her to represent the country at Eurovision using the song Wild Dances. In 2003 she had released an album of the same name to showcase the musical heritage of her native people, the Hutsuls of Western Ukraine and Romania. The single was the lead track from this album and it was perfect.

It's full of drums, chants, trumpets (from a former member of Zdob și Zdub) while Ruslana gets to demonstrate her voice, her athleticism and her Slavic roots simultaneously. It's something of a miracle song - perfectly representing not only Ukrainian and Hutsul culture, appealing to a wider Slavic sensibility, and being completely in tune with the contemporary Eurovision desire for girl bops. It almost couldn't fail despite some very strong competition.

However, Wild Dances didn't win the semi final. It lost out by a slim seven points, finishing second. By the time of the final, more televoters had heard the song and taken it too their hearts. It earned twenty-four more points to give it that last push into first place. Ruslana cemented her already firm place as a Ukrainian legend.

On her victory, she was appointed People's Artist of Ukraine - the highest award possible for someone in the performing arts. She would have hosted Eurovision 2005 too, but she was already committed to perform at another charity concert to raise funds for the victims of the Chernobyl Disaster.

Six months after her win, Ukraine was gripped by the upheavals of the Orange Revolution. Ruslana not only sang for the protestors, but came out in support of Victor Yushchenko. Two years later Ruslana stood for election and became, to the best of my knowledge, the only Eurovision winner to work as a member of her national parliament.

On top of all of this, she still wrote, recorded and performed music. She's recorded at least nine albums and even more singles. Even in 2024, her abs are chiselled. A true heroine of Ukraine.

[thenightling]

Spooky Christmas characters from around the world

Some of these are folkloric or in the public domain and some of these are under copyright but I figured it was worthwhile to list all of them or at least all the ones I could remember off the top of my head.

Krampus = Icelandic. Demon son of Hela, Goddess of the Dead. Grandson of Loki, The God of Mischief. Krampus was captured by Saint Nicholas but escapes once a year to frighten naughty children and kidnap truly evil children. No one knows what he does with these evil children but they may become Santa's elves.

The Yule Cat = Also Icelandic. The story goes that the Yule Cat is a giant cat that will gobble up anyone who did not receive and wear new clothes at Christmas.

Befana The Christmas Witch = Italian. Not really scary unless you're just scared of witches. Like most witches she rides a broom but in this story she was a friend of the three magi who went to see baby Jesus. And every year on Epiphany eve she travels the world giving good children presents, and leaving coal for naughty children. She also will fill stockings hung by the chimney and will eat cookies and milk left out for her, just like Santa.

Jack Skellington = American. Created by Tim Burton for his short story / poem that was turned into a film, Jack is the King of Halloween who tried to do Christmas his own spooky way with the help of his subjects, the ghouls and ghosts of Halloweentown.

The Grinch = American. A green creature that lives in a cave overlooking Whoville. He tried to steal away Christmas from the Whos before having a change of heart in realizing that Christmas is about love and kindness, and not materialism. The Grinch has had three movies, not including his Halloween special or his confrontation with The Cat in the Hat. That would make it five.

Dracula = UK / American / honorable mention to Romania for the historic figure. The BBC released a version of Dracula on Christmas Day in 2006. There is also a children's book and animated movie called Dear Dracula (Currently on Tubi) where a little boy writes to Dracula instead of Santa Claus when he really wants a cool Dracula action figure. There is also a comic book Santa vs. Dracula. He's also one of the main characters who appear in the Bobby Boris Pickett song "Monster's holiday" where the characters of The Monster Mash do Christmas.

Count Orlock = Originally German. A new version of Nosferatu opens on Christmas Day.

Mari Lwyd = Welish. I keep wanting to pronounce this one Mary Lord. I know that's not correct but oh, well. Mari Lwyd is a skeletal ghost horse that shows up at your door rhyming and you have to rhyme back. This goes on until one of you runs out of rhymes. If the skeletal horse wins you have to let the apparition raid your pantry for sweets and booze. (Usually this is done as a form of carolling and it's your neighbors in a costume with a horse-skull prop).

The Ghost of Jacob Marley = English. Created by Charles Dickens, Jacob Marley is the first spirit Scrooge encounters in A Christmas Carol. He is Scrooge's old business partner now condemned to wander the Earth dragging heavy chains. He is who many think of when they hear the song "Most Wonderful time of the year" and get to "There'll be scary ghost stories" in the lyrics.

Edward Scissorhands = American. Created by Tim Burton. (Surprise, surprise.) Edward is a Frankenstein-like creation who has scissors instead of hands. His story is a tragic one about love and the cruelty and mistrust people have toward those who are different. His is a fable about where the first Christmas snow came from.

Jack Frost = Russian. Also known as Father Frost, Jack Frost has a Cinderella-like fairy tale attached to him where he freezes to death the wicked Stepmother and stepsister and rewards the Cinderella-type character for appreciating the beauty of winter even when the cold was on the verge of killing her. Rise of the Guardians introduced a new version of Jack Frost who was actually the ghost of a boy who died rescuing his sister and became the personification of childhood fun. There is also a few Rankin Bass Holiday specials that feature him. One where he falls in love with a human woman and one where he tries to destroy (and later befriends) Frosty the Snow Man. He also appears in the Santa Clause franchise.

The Winter Warlock = American. Antagonist from Santa Claus is coming to town. He turns good.

Oogie Boogie = Version of the Boogie Man (European) he first appears in Tim Burton's The Nightmare before Christmas where he and his three henchmen, Lock, Shock, and Barrel terrorize Santa Claus.

The Asset AKA Charlie = (South American) The aquatic creature (revealed to be a river God) from The Shape of Water since that movie was released in December of 2017.

Death AKA The Grim Reaper = (UK) Hogfather (Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett). Loosely it's the same idea as Nightmare before Christmas only it's Death incarnate who has to do Hogswatch (Christmas) one year in Discworld.

Belasco = The ghost from the novel Hell House by Richard Matheson, which was adapted into the movie Legend of Hell House. The story was set at Christmas.

There are many more but these are the ones I thought of.

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

Much has been said and shown about Moldova over the past few weeks, mainly due to the referendum and presidential elections. Nonetheless, very few of us (including myself) have really sat down and tried to immerse ourselves (or at least understand) into the issues ordinary Moldovans have to face on a daily basis. Moldova is always looked upon as Romania's poorer little sister or a heavily Russified region, but to help them integrate themselves, push through the difficulties, and reach a particular goal, we must pay attention and try to hear them first.

The Slovak newspaper Denník N (in cooperation with its Czech counterpart, Deník N) published a wonderful article written by the Czech journalist Petra Procházková that delves deeper into the ordinary Moldovan soul and is a true eye-opener. You may not be able to relate to every opinion shared in the article (God is my witness that I didn't, either), but it might help you understand where it all comes from. It shows why it is important not to remain in our comfortable bubbles but speak out, explain, support our points of view with solid arguments. It also proves that the world sees Eastern Europe as a region not worthy of attention, which is something that must change in the following years.

Here is a link for those who can (and want to) read in Slovak:

For those who cannot but are interested in the topic, I am putting my own translation of the article below (warning, Russophilia mentioned; despite that, I encourage you to read it as someone who genuinely, from the bottom of her heart, cannot stand Russia and what it represents):

I shed all my tears there. How Lora from Moldova uprooted her cherry orchard and why the EU is to blame

(by Petra Procházková, Deník N)

The second round of Moldova’s presidential election on Sunday (November 3) will determine the country’s future. The candidates are the incumbent head of state, Maia Sandu, and the former prosecutor general, Alexandr Stoianoglo. The former represents the pro-Western direction of the country; the latter promises to mend broken relations with Russia, as well as maintain a certain type of neutrality until it becomes clear who will actually win in the region.

A young man in a sweatshirt stands by the stalls at the local market, passing the time. He has just arrived from Italy. Here in the westernmost tip of Moldova, in an area with fertile soil that is hard to find elsewhere in Europe, and people who know how to make the most of it, you cannot find work at all.

‘I’ve been travelling there for three years!’ Nikita says, pulling out his phone to show us some photos. ‘Here we pick watermelons, here pumpkins. They’ve got it nicely organised. They give us free accommodation, they feed us, though they charge a little for food. But not much. I get 7 euros for an hour of hard work. People here wouldn’t even dream of that. But now I have to go home for the winter.’

Around Nikita’s birthplace of Lipcani in Moldova, the soil is as fertile as in Italy. After all, 77 per cent of Moldova is farmland. Everything imaginable is grown here in the north-west. But Nikita is only one person out of a third of the working-age population who pick Italian or Spanish apples instead of Moldovan ones, or who look after feeble German pensioners. They even work as receptionists in Moscow or history teachers in Omsk. The dispersion, both geographical and professional, is enormous.

For there is no one left in Moldova who does not have to stay there.

‘It’d be enough for me to earn 10,000 lei (a little over 500 euros - ed.) at home. And I’d never go anywhere. It’s so beautiful here!’ Nikita says and goes off to kill time.

Cabbage and chrysanthemums

A woman in a warm waistcoat offers cabbage for 7 lei a kilo (about 0.35 euros - ed.). That is a good price. A few kilometres down the road, some men sell it for 10 lei. Ruslana, however, has lowered the price because the customers are few and ‘I’m not going to throw it away’.

‘We own a decent piece of land, but we can’t sell much of the produce. How much do we need per month to be able to live a normal life? About 10,000 lei. And I can’t earn that much from flowers and cabbages. But there is no other work here,’ she says.

Ruslana comes from the village of Trestieni. At home, she has children, a husband, grandparents, a pig, chickens, and several dogs. ‘We bottle and preserve everything we grow, we buy milk from our neighbour or exchange it for what we have in turn. We survive.’

Ruslana will not vote on Sunday. Whether it is one or the other who wins, she says, it will not make any difference to her family.

Even cheaper than Ruslana’s are the cabbage heads of Timur who lives in the neighbouring village of Satul - a kilo for 6 lei (about 0.30 euros - ed.). Neither he nor the other inhabitants of this remote region know that the World Bank has invested millions of euros in various agricultural projects in Moldova - for example, to boost the country’s competitiveness. Timur has heard something about this, but where is the money? He has no idea. Probably in other parts of Moldova. It certainly has not come here.

Nor has he heard that in 2022, the EU has temporarily liberalised trade in seven Moldovan agricultural products: tomatoes, garlic, grapes, apples, cherries, plums, and grape juice. These products were allowed to enter the EU market in larger quantities and with no customs duties. There are dozens of other EU projects and NGOs supporting Moldovan civil society and agriculture, but their echoes do not reach very far here, in the region between Ukraine and Romania.

Sugar and men’s suits at half-price

Timur will vote, but refuses to say who. Besides cabbage, he sells apples, a kilo for 0.50 euros. When he finds out that we are a Czechoslovak team, we get three apples for free. He served in our country in the 1980s, he announces with a smile. He spent two years in the 152nd Engineer Battalion in Zdechovice. He says he liked it there.

‘They say Stoianoglo wants us to be with Russia. But I’m not really sure about that. I have to ask you this. You know what? I’m going to vote, but no matter what the result is, I’m still going to stand here and sell. Sandu is supposed to lead us towards the EU. Stoianoglo towards Russia. You don’t want us in Europe, but Russia would accept us. I don’t think anything will change in my lifetime. For the worse, maybe.’

At home, Timur speaks Romanian, but his Russian is perfectly clear, without any traces of an accent. ‘I switch between languages as I please,’ he says.

The enterprising farmer manages to make a living not only as a ploughman and market seller. Every week he travels to the neighbouring country, Ukraine, to the city of Chernivtsi, for a big shopping trip. ‘It definitely pays off. Because a kilo of apples costs 10 hryvnia there, 10 lei here. But if you buy euros here and then exchange them for hryvnias there, it’s half as cheap as in Moldova,’ he says.

‘In Moldova, you buy a kilo of sugar for 20 lei; in Ukraine, when you re-count the money, convert it and exchange it, it’s 10. I buy what I need, bring what the customs allow me to bring, and sell it cheaply at home. And I can even dress myself well there. A suit here costs half as much as it does in Ukraine. And don’t even get me started on gas! Compared to us, the Ukrainians pay kopeks. But you can’t take gas with you. But these are all small things. What matters is that there is no war.’

The money for a funeral is saved for decades

Timur is one of the few who does not complain significantly or live from hand to mouth.

Vladimir died at the blessed age of 80. That’s quite an achievement by local standards. He had been on sick leave for the last three years, so more money was put aside for the funeral. His wife has survived a stroke and for the past twenty years, she has been thinking about how they will both say their final goodbyes to their fellow villagers. She has been saving money and now, her efforts have finally resulted in a nice, not too flashy, but not too modest funeral.

We are in the westernmost Moldovan village of Criva. It lies in the valley of the Prut River and is one of those villages where the old and the young live in a forced symbiosis. Productive adults have gone abroad to work, both to the West and to the East, to Europe or to Russia. Ideology played very little part in their decision-making. What mattered the most was who knew whom, who they bumped into, who helped them find a job.

‘My friend went there, so I went there as well,’ is the most common answer from Moldovans at the tip of the region gripped from above by Ukraine and from below by Romania.

The late Yuri’s daughter lives in Canada. This time, she sent more money than usual to help give her father a decent funeral feast. He deserved it. He drove a tractor in an agricultural county where the soil is the right colour and consistency. He supposedly did his job better than anyone else. He lived to see the collapse of collective farms and the decline of one of the most fertile parts of Europe, according to his relatives who also worked in agriculture. But the collectives collapsed with the fall of the Soviet Union, the borders with Russia remain closed, and nobody wants their apples, cabbages, nuts, potatoes, garlic, onions, or watermelons anymore.

A funeral is the worst kind of nightmare for Moldovans, and not only because it is a sad event associated with the death of a loved one. It also eats up a large part of the family’s savings. The final farewell here has its iron rules: the deceased’s shoes must be put on, and they must be dressed in new clothes, including underwear. This costs 3,000 lei. A car to take the open coffin with the body to the cemetery costs 2,000 lei. This, of course, is in addition to the payment for the priest’s services. If the body has been previously deposited in a morgue, one has to pay another 2,800 lei.

A new gravestone and the work involved in digging the grave and placing the coffin in it cost another few thousand lei. The most modest table in a restaurant costs around 6,000 lei. This is another trauma for the family, if we stop thinking for a moment about the death of a loved one - such a modest feast is considered a disgrace. In short, for less than 20,000 lei, you cannot secure a ‘decent’ funeral.

And a wedding? Unless you invite at least a hundred people, it is not a Moldovan wedding. In that case, you need to prepare at least 80,000 lei.

Victoria is saving money for a dance with her great-grandson

Campaigning for the election is not exactly a big affair here. There are only a few posters of Alexandr Stoianoglo, the challenger to the current Moldovan president Maia Sandu, in Lipcani and the surrounding villages. Lipcani is, for a change, the northernmost town in Moldova. From here, it is close to Ukraine as well as to Romania.

Alongside the posters, we finally come across a live campaign in the form of a woman in a stall holding a newspaper with Stoianoglo’s picture on the front cover. The volunteer’s name is Victoria. She has two grown-up children: a son who works in Russia, and a seriously ill daughter whom she looks after. Her daughter, Victoria’s granddaughter, also lives in Russia. Victoria worked all her productive life in the food distribution department of the local agricultural trade union. When the Soviet Union collapsed, so did the union.

‘How can you abolish agriculture in an agricultural country?’ she asks angrily, hoping that Mr Stoianoglo will steer the country in the right direction. ‘This president [Sandu] is leading us to ruin,’ she warns the few people who pass her by. The town, like all the surrounding villages, does not give a lively impression. The most active part of the population is somewhere in Europe or Russia.

Victoria has her reasons to complain. She has to work very hard to get something to eat. Not only does she hand out newspapers with Stoianoglo’s face on them, but she is also rewarded in kind. She refuses to reveal with what or how much.

‘I worked for thirty-eight years. In one place! And now, my pension is 2,770 lei (142 euros - ed.). My granddaughter used to help us from Russia, but then they closed the banks! We haven’t been able to receive anything from her in months! Tell me, is it my fault what is happening, and that because of this, the Russian banks are closed and I will starve to death here?’

Victoria lives in an old house that has never had gas. That seems to be an advantage now that prices have risen sharply again in the last year. Russian gas prices have been perfectly mirroring the deteriorating relations between Russia and Moldova over the last few years. As a result, raw materials are becoming more expensive. After Chișinău joined the anti-Russian coalition condemning Russia’s aggression against Ukraine, Moldova had to give up cheap Russian raw materials for good. Many Moldovans take this personally, blaming both President Sandu and the EU.

‘We use wood for heating. Imagine, a cubic metre of wood cost 700 lei a few years ago. Now I had to buy a cubic metre for 1,400 lei. But if I wanted to heat my house, I wouldn’t have enough money to pay for electricity. I also have to pay for the internet. How else can I keep in touch with my granddaughter?’

A disability pension for her daughter could not be arranged. She is not the first person to tell us that it ‘does not work so easily here’. Mostly, she complains, it costs money. ‘To get the pension, you have to pay the official. And I don’t have the money for that right now.’

The granddaughter - now a geography and maths teacher with Russian citizenship living in distant Omsk - found herself literally on the other side of the front line as a result of Russia’s aggression against Ukraine. Without her financial help, both Victoria’s and her daughter’s situation has worsened dramatically. Victoria is genuinely upset about the sanctions; she says the war in Ukraine, literally just a few kilometres away, is none of her business. And the European Union? It has caused all of this.

‘I am going to vote because if Stoianoglo wins, maybe he will help me hug my great-grandson one day,’ explains Victoria.

Daniel is in sixth grade. ‘They send us pictures of themselves in the park, at the cinema, playing sports. They live like royalty! And how he does ballroom dances, in a tuxedo and with a little girl, they both look like something out of a fairy tale. When I manage to save a few kopeks here and there, I send it to him so he can buy something for himself. You know why? To remind him of his grandmother and great-grandmother. So he knows he has us still.’

Victoria has seen Daniel twice - as a baby and when he was four years old. That was when her granddaughter could still come to visit her family in Moldova. But then came the COVID and the war.

‘Why, I am not afraid that the Russians will attack us. They’re like that, you know, if you leave them alone and don’t provoke them, they’ll leave you alone as well. We have to get along with them somehow,’ Victoria declares, adding: ‘I was born in the USSR, I went to school and worked all my life in the USSR. I learned everything in the USSR. I had everything I needed then. And now I live like a pauper. But I still want to do one thing - dance at Daniel’s wedding.’

Why should an Italian baker be any better?

Sitting by a half-empty box of tiny garlic heads, she is annoyed. Her name is Lelia. She worked as a saleswoman all her productive life and even managed to work her way up to a restaurant manager. ‘One euro buys two loaves of bread. That’s what we ended up with,’ she laughs bitterly.

Lelia celebrated her 83rd birthday on October 4. In 1996, she decided that her life was not over yet and went to Italy to look after a feeble Italian man with a pension of over 2,000 euros. ‘His family paid me 1,200 euros a month. The grandpa was ninety, he was good to me. He worked all his life as a baker, and look at what a nice pension he had.’

With this statement, any praise for Europe ends. ‘And I brought up six children, worked for thirty-eight years, and got what? A pension of 1,800 lei. 93 euros! What makes that baker better than me? Did he have eleven grandchildren and eleven great-grandchildren like me? Go to hell with your EU!’ she shouts at us, as though we were to blame for her misery and need.

‘Russia is rich. You have nothing. No real natural resources. So no need to quarrel with the Russians,’ she concludes. ‘And yet you and Sandu want to drag us into a war.’

Her daughter, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren live in Russia. She will never have that kind of money. One of her younger grandchildren, however, works in France. ‘He graduated from two universities and got a job here in Moldova for a stupid 300 euros. How can you start a family on that? So he went to Paris to work as a taxi driver. With a degree in economics. If you believe in God, may He protect you,’ she ends the conversation with us because she says it leads nowhere. She is probably right.

It is all the fault of ‘those at the top’

The lady at the next stall has a pension of 1,900 lei (98 euros - ed.). Lora can count very well, she is an engineer. ‘Last year we uprooted twelve hectares of cherries. Oh, no! No disease! We grew them with love, but the real drudgery was picking them, and then we had to throw it all away three years in a row! Throw it away, you understand? We tried to sell a kilo of cherries here for 10 lei (0.50 euros - ed.), but nobody wanted to buy them. People are more likely to buy sugar or bread, but cherries? So we uprooted them. These twelve hectares are now a salt pan because I shed all the tears I had left there.’

Nothing grows on the land where the cherries, once a luxury item on Moscow’s markets, once grew on their trees. Thistles and weeds have taken over. Lora has kept two cows and is trying to sell her own cheese. Not a single person has come to her stall in the hour we have been talking to her.

‘We used to export everything to Russia before, but now? Not even a potato. Not even a litre of wine. Everything is closed, blocked, you can’t transfer any money, and you can’t get the goods across the border. So we sit here in the square with our goods like fools, waiting to see how the elections turn out. And what will they change? Nothing. And you in Europe are going to let us in with our apples? You have yours,’ Lora concludes.

When Lora’s Soviet collective farm disappeared, she fell from the pedestal of a chief economist to a job as a cleaner at a petrol station. But even that recently closed. She is left with two cows, which she says eat more than they earn.

Even Lora, the spokeswoman for the highly educated market workers, does not know what needs to change to make life better for Moldovans. She says the elections are useless. After a long silence, she shrugs her shoulders and finally reveals the secret of Moldova’s crisis: ‘What to do? You have to ask those at the top.’

[bujorulgalben]

i got a ping on my phone today

this blog has been through a lot over the past ten years. like. a LOT. i've grown. this time ten years ago, i had just started my undergrad degree; one of which i'd win the subject prize for and get the highest attainment score of the year.

my love for romania and east europe by extension played a gigantic part in this. i've since been back to ro three more times (and we are planning trip no.5 for next year....we're doing the halloween tourist trap lads its going to be so silly). i've since learnt a basic grasp of the language. i've since gotten a masters, specialising in romania's modern political history!

to say anica didn't have a part to play in ALL of that would be an outright lie. she has matured and been redefined more than once, and is still a character i'm extremely proud of. i'm extremely grateful for the chance to learn about the country and culture and all those gracious enough to humour this. i'm grateful for all of my friends i've met here; some i met at the very beginning and i still hold very dear. some i met along the way, and i hold just as dear. i still believe that wonderful country will have a part to play in my future. my heart still resides there.

tomorrow, i hope to close on the sale of the apartment i've been chasing after. i have a mortgage, and i'm going to be a solo homeowner. i boxed up my textbooks on romania yesterday, my painted eggs, my trinkets and blouses, my notes and the Book of Lore for anica. she still holds a special place in my heart.

i know this dashboard has since gotten pretty quiet, but maybe someday i can come back here and plot some things. that'd be cool! let me move first, though!

until then, thanks for putting up with me and anica for the past 10+ years. mulțumesc foarte mult. :)

[depoteka]

my ranking and review of all eurovision 2023 songs

(don't expect any intellectual deep dives, i just tried articulating my feelings the best i could but it was hard bc i'm so lukewarm on so many songs. if the reviews don't make sense it's because i wrote them before i used the esc gerbear to sort the places hhh)

37. iceland: diljá - power

it definitely is a song that is competing in eurovision this year and i've listened to it. it doesn't make me feel anything so i don't know what to say. it's a fast pop song but i'm not even vibing to it :( i just don't like it

36. switzerland: remo forrer - watergun

oh switzerland, just because sad boy gjon worked in 2021 doesn't mean you need to keep sending sad boys now... a really boring attempt at an anti-war song

35. cyprus: andrew lambrou - break a broken heart

i don't think i'm really into men singing some heartbreak songs tbh i don't like those howls in the song and the rest sorta sounds imagine dragons-ish to me, the verses at least

34. greece: victor vernicos - what they say

it's cool that he's playing bass in the music video but the song isn't making me feel much. ain't gonna really talk shit about it bc the dude's just 16, i hope he has fun at eurovision

33. italy: marco mengoni - due vite

i like to think italy is my fave eurovision country and then they send a ballad….. i actually watched sanremo (tho i haven't seen any of the nights till the end bc i'm not that strong Yet) and marco wasn't my favourite at all, i was actually surprised how crazy the audience kept going whenever he was performing. of course i can see it getting some good result because it's a classic italian ballad. just not for me

32. ireland: wild youth - we are one

we've got u2 at home/the u2 at home:…. this song has the most generic love love peace peace lyrics ever and whatever unity they are singing about i don't want to be a part of it

31. poland: jann - gladiator blanka - solo

baybeh….it's kinda crazeh… allegedly it was a big radio hit before "winning" the preselections but imma be real with you, i'd never heard it before. it's a harmless pop song without any substance and if it was selected internally i'd be like meh but all the bullshit that went down at our national final makes me mad. i hope we flop hard

30. portugal: mimicat - ai coração

something about it to me feels like early 00s eurovision and i must admit, i don't really like it. though the performance in liverpool might be quite fun

29. romania: theodor andrei - d.g.t. (off and on)

the national final performance of this song is a state of mind. to be frank i feel like the esc fandom is overhating this song, it's not That bad. am i a fan of this song? no. would i like it to see it in the final with the same staging just for laughs? yes

28. israel: noa kirel - unicorn

israel i'm so sorry 0 points……. this song is a disjointed mess to my ears, i think it would've been better if they stuck to just one of the styles they used in this song. all the mentions of unicorns in this song make me cringe. not to mention the "you wanna see me dance?" bit which um, also makes me cringe. no problem with a dance break but why did she have to announce it like that out of nowhere. my favourite part of the song is probably the "u-ni-corn" chant at the very end but other than that eh. this song was written to make the staging crazy and exciting but as a song it doesn't work for me

27. azerbaijan: turalturanx - tell me more

brave of azerbaijan to send two dudes with their song that sound like it teleported itself from an early 00s shitty british movie. that rap part sounds like it's from a corporate song targeted at a young audience to idk make them stop smoking asdfadsf there's something endearing about this song tho

26. uk: mae muller - i wrote a song

i recognize that it's a step in the right direction for the uk and it's a rather fun song but tbh i just don't connect with it. i really liked sam last year and sadly in comparison mae's song seems quite weak to me. though i hope that the (de facto) host country curse doesn't work on the uk this year tho and they don't end up on the very end of the board

25. the netherlands: mia nicolai & dion cooper - burning daylight

ngl i forgot about this song after the first listen. i don't even know what to say about it really, it's just really underwhelming to me. i think i don't actively hate it but i also don't really like it

24. georgia: iru - echo

english grammar rules have left the chat. i'm baffled by the lyrics. but the song overall (along with the video) feels like something from outer space or the future. not in a crazy way tho. i think it has some potential

23. denmark: reiley - breaking my heart

bts are on hiatus so it's his time to shine. no but seriously, there's something so kpopy about this song? i defo like it more than the other "breaking heart" song this year but still. the dude gives me some uncanny valley feeling, especially considering he allegedly pretends to be 5 years younger than he actually is? i love eurovision drama

22. estonia: alika - bridges

we have very few true ballads this year but i think this one's ok!! not a ballad girl myself but i don't mind this one, i like her voice. gives me adele bond theme vibes. i've seen people say alika isn't really selling this song but i saw her national final performance and it seemed fine to me? not much you can really do when you're singing a ballad tbh

21. armenia: brunette - future lover

imma be real with you, i laughed out loud when i first listened to this song because of the lyrics. but i think the song is kinda nice anyway? not a fave but it's nice enough

20. malta: the busker - dance (our own party)

they got sax and in theory i should like it. but i'm not a fan. the whole "ooh i wanna stay at home in my sweater" shtick doesn't work for me. i can see why some people are vibing to this song but it's not doing it for me

19. sweden: loreen - tattoo

i'm a noted hater of sweden at eurovision so don't expect me to say anything nice hhhh the song is rather fine and loreen is fantastic but at the same time i feel like the entire song is just one idea repeated over and over without any sort of variation. her staging at melfest seems quite interesting but overall i don't think this has a potential to win? especially if the people watching in may remember euphoria. tattoo pales in comparison

18. san marino: piqued jacks - like an animal

hear me out………i don't hate this song. yes maybe it's cringe but somehow it keeps getting stuck in my head because it's catchy asdfasdfadsf i'm waiting for the studio version bc it's hard to properly judge it based on the shit sound mix at san marino nf

17. ukraine: tvorchi - heart of steel

was kinda surprised watching vidbir when this won! but then again ukraine keeps giving us different things constantly. i quite like this song but it's also too lowkey for me, nothing to go crazy about. still, it's a vibe

16. norway: alessandra - queen of the kings

ngl when i first heard the song i couldn't understand why people like it so much. now i enjoy it more but i wouldn't say it's a fave of mine? i can see it getting a good result though, there's something very eurovision about it

15. serbia: luke black - samo mi se spava

i feel like technically i should like this song but i….don't. i think the music itself is quite fun but…..the performance makes it seem like it was written for the netflix eurovision movie. something about this guy's voice bothers me. the nail to the coffin for me is the fact that the title of this song sounds close to "samo mi się spawa" in polish which means "it welds on its own for me" instead of "i just wanna sleep" which is what the title actually means 💀 i can't shake this association off and it doesn't help me like this song more

14. slovenia: joker out - carpe diem

at first i wasn't impressed but overall i think it's quite a fun indie/pop rock song!! and it's always nice to hear a native language instead of english

13. lithuania: monika lynkytė - stay

it's a pleasant song and the lithuanian bit is my fave part of the song. overall i don't mind it, but also i'm not crazy about it. sort of disappointed because i really loved sentimentai last year :(

12. belgium: gustaph - because of you

i haven't watched the belgian nf so i don't know what the other options were (that people are so mad about not winning) but i quite like this one!!! it's a bop, makes me wanna dance. i hope gustaph brings some voguing to liverpool

11. moldova: pasha parfeni - soarele şi luna

the only true folk influenced song we have this year, i like it!! it's a banger, it has some sort of flute going on, from what i've seen the lyrics refer to a folk legend? we love it

10. australia: voyager - promise

banger!! pleasantly surprised because i don't think i've ever really really liked any of australia's entries in the past. thought the random high note in the second verse is quite funny to me tbh asdasdfds

9. croatia: let 3 - mama ŠČ!

i think it's more of a whole package where the song doesn't really make full sense without the performance but in some strange way i enjoy the song anyway. the lyrics also are quite understandable in polish which probably also makes it easier for me (and i imagine other slavic people as well) to understand the message without feeling confused about what's going on

8. albania: albina & familja kelmendi - duje

the drama?? i love it. i saw somebody say it feels like a turkish telenovela and they've got a point. it makes me feel something (unlike some other entries) and i appreciate it. plus the instrumental absolutely fucks

7. spain: blanca paloma - eaea

when i first heard the song i didn't understand it at all. i feel like i still don't fully Get it but there's something so fascinating about it to me that i can't stop thinking about it. i'm so confused? but i think it means i enjoy it. definitely something i like more than slomo last year

6. germany: lord of the lost - blood & glitter

yell heah!! germany finally sending something worthwhile. i keep listening to this song on loop, i wanna twerk to it. love the combo of metal AND glitter <3

5. france: la zarra - évidemment

i already liked it at first listen and it keeps growing on me! not a big fan of chanson type of songs but this one is a banger + her look in the music video is gorgeous, i hope she keeps it for liverpool

4. czechia: vesna - my sister's crown

liked it before it was chosen at czechia's national final and was happy when they won but i kinda got bored of it after a month or so? i still think it's a good song (even tho i know people have some issues with it) and i love the mix of three different slavic languages. i think with the right staging they can win me back

3. latvia: sudden lights - aijā

OK OK… when i first heard it i was like ok. but then one evening i randomly found myself watching the moldovan nf and they were guests there and when they played their song in this shitty studio i was like omg it's actually really good?? obsessed with the lullaby bit at the end. i hope to god they qualify, they need to bring justice to latvia after citi zeni's nq last year

2. austria: teya & salena - who the hell is edgar?

what a surprise?? adored it at first listen. it both manages to be a bop while also trying to say something. i loved in corpore sano last year, i love who the hell is edgar this year

1. finland: käärijä - cha cha cha

what can i say......i usually don't really listen to any of the national final songs and just wait for the winner of each one but the thumbnail for cha cha cha music video on yt intrigued me so i watched it. and immediately i wanted käärijä to win eurovision weeks before he even won the finnish nf. the song is sooo addictive and his entire look/performance is hypnotizing. i know he's a favourite to win rn but if he somehow flops in may i'm gonna be really really sad. come on, it's crazy it's party. i think this finnish win would be a really fitting addition to lordi's win in 2006

[residentraccoon]

Eurovision 2006 vs 2007

Got some free time rn so why shouldn't I do this. Again, inspired by @six-paths-of-jeanmarco

Albania: Zjarr e ftohtë vs Hear My Plea

Andorra: Sense tu vs Salvem el món

Armenia: Without Your Love vs Anytime You Need

Austria: Get a Life – Get Alive

Belarus: Mum vs Work Your Magic

Belgium: Je t'adore vs LovePower

Bosnia and Herzegovina: Lejla vs Rijeka bez imena

Bulgaria: Let Me Cry vs Water

Croatia: Moja štikla vs Vjerujem u ljubav

Cyprus: Why Angels Cry vs Comme ci, comme ça

Czechia: Malá dáma

Denmark: Twist of Love vs Drama Queen

Estonia: Through My Window vs Partners in Crime

Finland: Hard Rock Hallelujah vs Leave Me Alone (but I really love Leave me alone as well)

France: Il était temps vs L'Amour à la française

Georgia: Visionary Dream

Germany: No No Never vs Frauen regier'n die Welt (WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE I LOVE BOTH but okay I'll choose the one that I listened the most)

Greece: Everything vs Yassou Maria (listen Anna Vissi is great but I prefer her other 2 songs sorry :((( )

Hungary: Unsubstantial Blues

Iceland: Congratulations vs Valentine Lost (WHAT AN UNDERRATED SONG this should have qualified)

Ireland: Every Song Is a Cry for Love vs They Can't Stop the Spring

Israel: Together We Are One vs Push the Button (none lol)

Latvia: I Hear Your Heart vs Questa notte

Lithuania: We Are the Winners vs Love or Leave (but we are the winners is iconic too)

Malta: I Do vs Vertigo

Monaco: La Coco-Dance

Moldova: Loca vs Fight

Montenegro: Ajde, kroči

Netherlands: Amambanda vs On Top of the World

North Macedonia: Ninanajna vs Mojot svet

Norway: Alvedansen vs Ven a bailar conmigo

Poland: Follow My Heart vs Time to Party

Portugal: Coisas de nada vs Dança comigo

Romania: Tornerò vs Liubi, Liubi, I Love You (do I even have to explain)

Russia: Never Let You Go vs Song #1

Serbia: Molitva

Slovenia: Mr. Nobody vs Cvet z juga

Spain: Bloody Mary vs I Love You Mi Vida

Sweden: Invincible vs The Worrying Kind

Switzerland: If We All Give a Little vs Vampires Are Alive

Türkiye: Süper Star vs Shake It Up Şekerim

Ukraine: Show Me Your Love vs Dancing Lasha Tumbai (BRUH this is hard. Both?)

United Kingdom: Teenage Life vs Flying the Flag (For You) (both cringe sorry)

2006: 17

2007: 20

2007 wins!

[lindonwald]

does anyone know if there are any norway/bulgaria fanfictions? I can't seem to find any🥲😔 whoever writes bulgaria-romania-norway drama wins my heart !!

yeah I really doubt there are any since even as rare pairs go they’re super niche haha (I mean I never even considered this ship until I did that drawing,,,) but ayo,,,,,if anyone wants to take one for the team and write it I will annoy u and ask if can draw something for it haha

[lucisz39]

Eurovision Semi 2

I was at work through the Semi so here are some very late notes.

01- Denmark: Reiley — “Breaking My Heart”. I swear you're a better Eurovision country than this. The song is catchy I'll give it that. Reiley had shaky vocals and sang exclusively to the camera the entire time. There are tik tok personalities like Sam Rider and then there are ones like Reiley. One has some stage presence the other only can make it work staring straight into a camera. I'm not sorry he didn't make it.

Sidenote- Daði Freyr? Love that for us

02- Armenia: Brunette — “Future Lover”. Not one I was feeling but shes talented. After Reiley I'm glad she didn't keep direct eye contact with the camera the entire time. Happy she escaped the placement of death unscathed though. Good for her.

03- Romania: Theodor Andrei — “D. G. T. (Off and on)”. The first song of the night I had downloaded. In the same category as Portugal for me. On Stage the artist is a sledgehammer of charisma. Some of the solo promo performances were much better than the national final. He's a great singer but he needed to rework the staging not the song itself. I love this one but I'm not surprised it didn't make it

04- Estonia: Alika — “Bridges”. It's a very pretty song. Exactly the kind of song that would qualify. I love her costuming but other wise forgettable. 

05- Belgium: Gustaph — “Because of You”. Another song I downloaded but it's not one I listened to a ton. I was worried how this one would go down live. But it a lot of fun! I had a big smile the whole time. The backup singers were absolutely killing it. That's saying nothing of the dancer! Simple effective staging.

06-Cyprus: Andrew Lambrou — “Break A Broken Heart”- Yeah I didn't remember this one. It's catchy and I'm feeling it. I really like the staging with the water effect and the fog. The performer is Barefoot which always a good start (think it worked in his favor). Is it me or does it sound like Believer by Imagine Dragons? And with that I think I just talked myself out of liking it.

07- Iceland: Diljá — “Power”. I normally love Iceland in Eurovision.  I'm surprised this one didn't grow on me. She's a talented performer and is giving it everything she's got. But not a song for me.  I am little sad she didn't qualify. I want to see Iceland win one year and I hope we didn't lose our best chance in 2020 with "Think About Things"

08-Greece: Victor Vernicos — “What They Say”.  Oh my god he looks like a baby. Repeat after me "not a song for me" (I'll say that a lot) but I liked this one. Hes got good energy. That being said, I really do root for the young ones swinging for the fences. I was rooting for the kid but understand why he didn't make it. I hope he keeps going with music and possibly Eurovision.

09-Poland: Blanka — “Solo”. Why the fuck is this here. Look at least she sounds like she's improved. That being said, hope she comes in last. NGL I skipped ahead when we hit the dance break.

10-Slovenia: Joker Out — “Carpe Diem”. Ok this is my favorite song of the year. Was a bit scared they were going to change the language to English when they released that version. Happy to see that wasn't the case. This performance was so much fun. Gonna be devastated if these guys don't make top 10. I knew they made it before I watched the replay but even still I was so stressed till they were announced. I was watching the Finnish broadcast and their hosts also sounded EXTREMELY stressed about them not getting called right away.

11-Georgia: Iru — “Echo”. Not even going to lie. I'm conflicted about this one. I love the way it sounds huge and bombastic. Iru can certainly sing. Love the staging but wish some of the dancers from the music video came in. At the same time the lyrics lean closer to worship music than a self-love song to me. It makes my skin crawl and I don't like it.

12- San Marino: Piqued Jacks — “Like An Animal”. I'm almost embarrassed about how much I like this one. I listen to a lot of alt rock and indie rock. I was primed to like it. This is another of my favorites and was on heavy rotation on my drives home. It's fun and catchy. It both makes me smile and want to dance. But I mean it’s a fine song. The performance at the national final was way stronger than the semi. It took the front man a good 2 minutes to get it together and start selling his performance. In a different year, if the stars aligned it could have made it to the final and it would have been in the bottom. I'm not surprised it didn't make it, but I am a little sad. Come on guys it wasn't a ballad! That's gotta count for something.

13-Austria: Teya & Salena — “Who The Hell Is Edgar?”. I said it before and I'll say it again. These guys had me nervous. Love the song it's been on heavy rotation. But I only saw one live performance before this and it was a fairly shaky one. Not tonight though. All cylinders were firing. My only note is I'm sad they didn't use the old guys in suits from the music video as the dancers. Also, please note, I am in love and so very fucking queer.

14- Albania: Albina and Familja Kelmendi — “Duje”. Again a "not my thing" song;. Nothing but respect for it though. A very heartfelt song and real family affair. But! Whoever compared them to the Addams family, I'm never going to not think of that now.

15- Lithuania: Monika Linkyte — “Stay”. Ok you might be expecting me to say this is another "not my thing" song... But I really really love this one. There are like 2 ballads that got me this year. This is one of them. The  “ciūto tūto” hook is living in my head rent free. She's got a lovely voice and the emotion she puts into the song really sells it. It's a very heartfelt song and it makes me want to wrap her up in a hug.

16- Australia: Voyager — “Promise”. Ok remember what I said for Piqued Jacks. How I mostly listen to alt rock... Yeah I don't love this one. I'll take it over (most) most of the ballads but it's my least favorite out of all the rock leaning ones. It did get a download though! I will say out of everyone in this contest I felt like Voyager wants to be here the most. Australia wants to be in Eurovision. I would rather watch people who want to be here than people feeling eh about it. Please keep inviting Australia. I was going to be genuinely upset if they didn't make it to the final.

Bonus!

- The Drag Queens. Ok I agree with the consensus. How do I vote for them?

Side note: All the Big 5 (6) were downloaded.

-Spain. No words. I love this whole thing. It's dramatic and so very different from last years. I only wish they took more notes from the music video for the staging.

-Ukraine. Her name is Fashion. Not the staging I expected. I quite like it though. There is something very classy about this one as well.  

-UK. Ok first off. Who dressed this girl in Shein? The song? It's a girly bop and a good time. She's not the best singer but well I don't think the UK wanted her to be. Look they have had a coronation and Eurovsion in the same month. Let them have this.

Look Semi-1 was an all out brawl for spots. This one was the Snooze fest. Yet somehow this is the semi of disappointments for me. See y’all Saturday for the final. How much time do you think it’s gonna run over this year?

[because-its-eurovision]

hello friend I have decided on my top 5 ESC entries this year and I need your psychic witchcraft skills to tell me which ones are gonna do well and which ones will break my heart because they'll be slept on </3 :') my top picks being Finland (obviously), Slovenia, Switzerland, Moldova and Romania 😌✨

hello friend very nice yes yes <3

Ok, this is based on the songs themselves, the charisma and live singing skills of the performers, their spot in the semi, the current betting odds and my gut feeling that's usually wrong :') Most of the stagings are still a mystery as the rehearsals only start in a week. Here we go 👇

Romania: Dead on arrival, unfortunately :< I see no way of this qualifying. Early in the running order on one of the worst spots, their bestie Moldova is in the other semi, the national final performance is messy, trashy and confusing and it's mostly sung in a language nobody understands. Theodor seems lovely but even "cute boy" votes aren't going to help as he is against Denmark, Cyprus, Greece and Slovenia.

Moldova: I believe in Moldova! They are often overlooked by the fans and betting odds and then blow up the televote on Esc stage seemingly out of the blue, last year being the most prominent example. Pasha is charismatic, a great singer and has Esc experience beforehand. Moldova is more often than not great with staging and I see them qualifying with ease as they only have to beat five other countries. Outside top-15 in the final though, maybe like 18th or 19th place? Just a guess.

Switzerland: I've been told people will be taken back because the lyrics seem hypocritical coming from a neutral country, but lyrics have never had that much meaning as most of the viewers hear the song for the first time on the night, and half of Europeans don't speak English at all, not to mention fluently enough to understand sung language on the first try. The first semi has only 15 songs and only two of them are pure ballads, this and the Netherlands. To put it lightly, the latter has not been great at the pre-parties 😶 Remo on the other hand may be the best male vocalist this year. I see Switzerland qualifying with flying colours and getting a high jury score like Austria 2018, Netherlands 2019 and Switzerland 2021. Could even win juries, but not the whole contest.

Slovenia: Cute, funny and charismatic guys that the fandom has fallen in love with <3 Great vocals, great energy on stage. Their spot in the running order is not ideal and the other ex-Yugos Croatia and Serbia are in the other semi, but they do perform after Poland which counts for something. There are many worse perfomances in their semi so I believe they'll qualify. No idea about their placement in the final though. Maybe around 20th, but could surprise us with a great result.

Finland: Most likely wins televote in the semi, getting 12 points from at least Norway, Sweden, Netherlands and Germany. Depending on the spot in the running order and how much, if at all, Sweden's new staging is going to affect their chances, I see this going two ways. Either the juries go their usual route of hating a silly Eurovision-y uptempo and destroy the chances by placing Finland outside top-ten like they did with Moldova 2022 and Norway 2019. OR they could appreciate the performance, melody and originality of Cha Cha Cha just enough to place it in third or fourth place like they did with Israel 2018 and Italy 2021, and that combined with a landslide-ish televote win would mean Finland winning. I still think Sweden is going to win, but Finland hasn't ever even qualified three times in a row and just getting in the top-5 would be incredible. Even top-3 is still in the realm of realism, but of course Käärijä would deserve to win it all 💚