#Rogal being a good uncle

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

The Carved Skull (Part 1)

(In which Lilith adjusts to the Imperium and Rogal Dorn finds out his niece shares a hobby with him)

Tags: Bone carving, mentions of an Astartes getting maimed, brief mention of death, and explorations of Baal culture

Folk: @sirpuddingcup @jaghatai-khock

(Note: Kakek is Indonesian for Grandfather)

It had been a year since Lilith arrived on Terra and she still didn’t really like the Adeptus Astartes. They smelled wrong. Chemicals, drugs, and a certain unnatural scent that she had yet to become used to. She didn’t understand how her father seemed to accept them so quickly and she had no regrets about scratching the face of one of Horus’ Luna Wolves. She didn’t really know what his name was, something like Ulysses or something of the sort; she hadn’t really paid attention. What was nice was that they’d stopped trying to get so close to her. She greatly preferred that, though Sanguinius had been trying to get her to play with some neophytes. She wasn’t entirely sure of them, for she was used to having to be careful due to her claws and teeth.

One wrong move and she could kill someone, even if it’s by accident. She was uncertain. However, she’d quickly grown close to Malcador, a man she had come to see the same way as the elders of the Blood. Mentor and Grandfather both, with Malcador seeming to like it when she called him Kakek, a baalite word often used for Grandfathers, though Lilith had never had one to give the name to for her mother’s father had long since passed. 

Certainly she had the Emperor as a grandfather, but she was forced to call him that in Gothic, never in her native tongue and besides he was nothing close to being that in her eyes. Not after her mother’s death. Thus she often said it very impersonally compared to Malcador. Which was what had led to her carving a skull with intricate designs, designs that came quickly to her. After all, she’d had many lessons over the years on how to carve bones, it was just something the Blood did. Lilith didn’t understand why the Imperium had such plain bones. It was tasteless, for those were the bones of something living once; they deserved to be adorned unless of course they’d done some terrible crime. Then they got no markings at all.

Perhaps that’s why so many bones were unadorned…? But no that couldn’t be right because Kakek had said that the Servos Skulls were an honourable thing. It didn’t make a lick of sense to her, but not much really did about this place. So she just busied herself about making Malcador a Servo skull that was properly honoured. Maybe she’ll be done by time this is over and she’ll be able to give it to him when the next time comes for when he teaches her Gothic. She liked her little lessons with him, even if she didn’t always understand the words he spoke, though she caught on quickly. She was told it was because she was the daughter of a primarch that she learned things so quickly. Kakek said that he’d explain what a primarch was when she was older. She decided to hold him to it.

In the meantime, she would carve. She carved alone for a while, before she heard heavy footsteps and the strong scent of oil, metal and cured furs signaled the approach of Rogal Dorn, her Uncle. Lilith was not exactly sure what to think of her father’s brothers; they were strange and she stiffened as Dorn approached her. He made a small rumbling noise in his throat, an indication of wanting to see what she was doing. It was easier after all, until she fully learned Gothic, most of her uncles communicated to her in this way. She understood well enough, and showed him the skull she was carving to which Dorn’s eyes widened and a warm smile appeared on his normally quite unsmiling face. 

The Skull was handed back to her, and he left, only to momentarily return with his own carving tools and sat across from her to carve as well. She looked on curiously, and watched as he carved what looked like a ram..? She thinks that’s what they’re called, she’s not entirely certain. It’s different from her swirling patterns and little runes, though she noticed the additions of circles and some lines here and there. It was fascinating and she relaxed slightly, allowing her wings to fluff as she returned to her own carving. 

Dorn for his part enjoys that he’s found that his niece likes to carve bone, and catches the sigh of a smile that shows off her fangs. So that was what Sanguinius meant when he’d said that she’d been smiling smaller than usual. He hopes she grows more comfortable and smiles more naturally, for he thinks he’s going to come to rather like his little niece with her bone carving far beyond that of which Dorn expected of someone her age. Besides it was nice to simply carve in silence, and look up to see her carving runes that he supposed must mean something in her culture. After all, she and Sanguinius had come wearing light yet elaborate clothing that had generally covered their faces and heads. Dorn had been rather taken aback by it, with Sanguinius’ amber almost golden eyes that were remarkably like the Emperor’s yet somehow nothing like them, and Lilith’s rather vivid reds like that of freshly spilled blood. Still, his brother had quickly adapted, having been taken beneath Horus’ wing, and Lilith… Dorn wasn’t sure about Lilith. He’d seen her around Malcador, and had even heard her calling him something in her native tongue, but she rarely spoke. Not to mention the whole thing with the poor Luna wolf who’d had to have his face surgically put back on. Nerves he thought. She seemed not to like them, and from what Dorn had seen, was quite aggressive. 

Still she was much calmer now, and Sanguinius expressed hope that she’d bond well with her new brothers. Personally Dorn thought the sooner she did the happier she’d be, because she was still just a child, and one that seemed to enjoy playfully pouncing on people if the times Sanguinius had been playfully lept on was any indication. It reminded him much how a young cat or wolf would play, with how she pounced on her father. She could use some proper playmates. Baselines probably wouldn’t be all that safe considering what she can do to an astartes, but he figured she deserved a little bit of fun, even if soon she would likely be trained as a warrior. At least he assumed she would be, considering her impressive height even at this young age. Dorn strongly suspected she was like her father and himself, however the hell that worked and thus he thought it rather redundant if Lilith wasn’t to be a warrior to fight in the crusade. Maybe he’ll see if she’d be interested in learning how to clean a bolter later. That sounds like a good idea. 

[relax-and-read-on]

One cute fact about each primarch

Ohhhh freestyle??? Freestyle!!!

Primarch, but we are going cute <3

Lion: He has some slight problem with the concept of names. As such, every horse he ever had was named "horse", and all dogs are named "dog".

Magnus: Took the time to learn every first languages of his siblings, just so that he could learn to communicate with them in comfort.

Perturabo: love birds. It's a secret pastime of his. He can recognise most species in the galaxy, and may have written incredible field identification guide.

Fulgrim: He actually try to keep up on all of his kids artistic endeavors. I think it's important to praise them for their special interest and their wonderful talents.

Ferrus: slowly start making his personal space more of a shared space for himself and Fulgrim. Add things like mugs for him. His favorite brand of tea. Extra pillow. Just small things to make his lover feel more at home.

Horus: he actually try to spend one on one time with each of his siblings on a regular basis. He does love them all. All of them. And he make efforts to be with them.

Sanguinius: he made lil painted portrait of every single one of his siblings being happy. Just precious little moment. He keep those to himself.

Vulkan: He really, really loved his adopted fam on Nocturn. He still go visit their descend as much as he can. They love him very much, and do actually consider him as "great great great uncle Vulkan!"

Konrad: he really like sweets. He is a lot more calm and willing to listen to people if he can munch on tasty things.

Corvus: like to leave lil gifts to her family. Trinkets, candy, lil souvenirs... Everyone has at least a few. She drop them in corners, like a secretive santa.

Jaghatai: does like to cook, especially for his siblings. It's a huge mark of respect to him. He's also having fun learning what their favorite, culture specific foods are.

Alpharius Omegon: They only sleep truly well if they can do it at the same time, while sharing a bed. It does not happen often, sadly. Veey cuddly with one another.

Leman: His wolf-brothers back home have a pretty human intelligence. As such, he try to talk to every dog/wolf/fox in the galaxy to see if they also are People. It hasn't worked yet, but he has high hope to find more sentient doggy friends :D

Roboute: he love farms. On any new planets he go, he always make sure that the farms are efficient, clean, productive and happy place. Very big on animals welfare too.

Rogal: he actually really like normal humans. He's a lot more affectionate with them than you would expect, and gets incredibly upset when they inevitably die.

Mortarion: Raise orchids to put in his bioactive vivariums for his pet bugs. Very good at it, and sometime ends up with too many, wich he gifts away to his family member.

Angron: he's actually??? A very damn good medic???? He know all kind of home remedies that do work, a ton of emergency procedure, how to deliver babies... He's very happy when he gets to apply this knowledge.

Lorgar: His private rooms are always opens. If one of his sons or serf has worries, they can always come in, at any time, and he will take the time to listen to them.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Decided to rank the other Primarchs (Plus Sevatar) in rank to how close of a relationship Lilith has with them:

Jaghatai Khan: Less Uncle More Mom, has the closest relationship with him. Almost always gets a visit from her soul when she dies. He enjoys seeing how her warp form has grown and has long noticed that her presence still lingers even after she's been reborn into the Matirium once more. Also figured out quickly she was basically a primarch, though he wouldn't learn that she was an infant warp god until later. Also knows that she's still a juvenile by warp god standards. Somehow feels nothing but pride.

Lion El'Jonson (Post heresy/40k): Was never close before the heresy, but have ended up being rather close in 40k especially after he rescued her from Fabius Bile. Have bonded, and Lion is currently trying to get Lilith to accept affection again. The progress is slow. The Dark Angels are jealous asf.

Rogal Dorn: Bonded over bone carving, stuck fast since. Really wanted to help her when she was sick but didn't know how

Jago Sevatarion: Not a primarch, but gets his place as Uncle due to bonding with Lilith over carved bones. He stole Konrad's place. Very close, and was surprised by the sheer delight Lilith held for the carvings of the Night Lords, and how interested she was in learning about them.

Fulgrim (pre heresy): Bonded over a love of soft fabrics and art. Enjoyed figuring out how design clothes for her, especially while she was growing. Learned quickly that Lilith hated strong smells and refrained from using perfumes around her. Adored her greatly and enjoyed finding out about her new projects even if it was about her trying to find a good soldier to carve the skull of.

Magnus the red: Taught her most of what she knows about biomancy and pyromancy. Still have a descent relationship to this day, for some reason having a calming affect when she visits him in the warp. Saddened by the fact she's become afraid of her blood magic, or the flowers that she's able to bloom. Wants to help her, but understands that in his current state she has a right to be cautious of him. Also stands as the only traitor primarch to still have a relationship with Lilith. Has a small garden filled with her flowers. It's nice to rest there, though he is wary of why Tzeentch allows him to have the flowers.

Corvus Corax: Good friends, and taught Lilith a few of his tricks. Keeps a few raven skulls that were carved by her and still sometimes gets visits from her. Usually this is her soul, and Corvus has learned that her way of telling him to eat is to simply drop prey at his feet. He has also learned that her soul won't leave unless he's eaten. Which is fair enough, he supposes. Often finds her flowers and thorns growing around the place he uses as his home base. They make for a surprisingly good defence.

Vulkan: Also fairly good friends, enjoyed listening to her, also was one of the few to realize that when she first came she was merely overwhelmed and slowly gained her trust. Enjoyed watching her develop her pyromancy skills, though he was never close enough to know the true depths of her nature.

Leman Russ: Used to be fairly close, until the council of Nikaea, in which Lilith lost trust in after speaking against psykers. It was the hypocrisy that did their relationship in, though she understands it was due to his culture. However, her reason for losing trust is a complicated thing that's rooted in fear as well, for in her mind if he is against pyskers, then is he against mutants? She doesn't know, but she still distanced herself because of it.

Roboute Guilliman: Neutral, was never all that close to him, but did have trust in him. In 40k, relationship is slowly getting better, Guilliman is sad to see what the years have done to his niece, and is angry that she was put into exile. Is a bit spooked by how much her aura has grown since the heresy and strongly suspects she has worshippers somewhere despite her denial.

Ferrus Manus: Never close, but were civil with each other and never knew each other all that well. She mourns him as she does everyone else who fell during the heresy and keeps a candle lit for him on Sanguinla just as she does her father and others who fell.

Angron: Again, never close. Angron before he fell to chaos, actually went out of his way to avoid her because he never wanted to hurt his niece. Liked her quite a bit, and wanted to have a relationship with her, but he feared hurting her too much to do it. Sometimes during moments of clarity he wishes he had.

Alpharius/Omegon: She has no idea how to feel about those two, but they did like their niece and generally have never really tried fucking her over. They have, however, made sure a couple of times that she gets a safe rebirth when they come across her flesh egg.

Konrad Curze: Had a strangely descent relationship during his saner moments, and would often offer her fresh humans. Relationship became quite strained once Konrad began to grow increasingly unstable.

Horus: Found him a bit much for her liking and would've had a great relationship, had he not tried so hard to be likable around her. Eventually did learn that she just wanted him to be honest around her, and the relationship started to get better between them. Unfortunately before they could rekindle it properly, the Heresy happened. Did love her a lot, and was sad that she never seem to like him all that much before falling to chaos.

Perturabo: Decided he would not have a relationship with her because she was close with Dorn. Secretly wanted to make things with her too, but his pettiness prevented him. Lilith was under the impression Perturabo hated her, he did not and sometimes he regrets not putting his pettiness aside to get to know her better.

Mortarion: Hated her, absolutely despised her for what she was. Didn't like she was mutant and didn't like she was a witch. Often referred to her as Mutant and spawn, never using her actual name or giving her much person hood. Made the mistake of acting that way in front of Horus and Konrad. This resulted in Mortatrion learning that Konrad actually cared deeply for Lilith the hard way, and Horus being pissed. Has a gnarly scar from Konrad because of his poor choice of words.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

Starved

(Dorn is deeply concerned about his niece and the way she's getting weaker)

Tags: TW Child Neglect, Good intentions with terrible consequences, TW Child Abuse, TW Disordered Eating Self Dehumanization, Bad Self esteem

Also @jaghatai-khock for mentions of Zadkiel

Rogal Dorn was worried. Scratch that, he was deeply and unfathomably concerned. Something was wrong with Lilith that much he knew. She wouldn't tell him what was wrong but something clearly was. She was getting weaker by the day, and her eyes were no longer the vibrant red he first saw when they met. They had turned to a bright almost tarnished looking gold, and it didn't escape his notice that she didn't fly as much anymore. She still flew, of course she did, Dorn would be concerned if she stopped entirely, but the fact remains that five years ago it wasn't uncommon for her to be found perched on spires or window sills. There was also a matter of her age, she was supposed to be fifteen this year...but Dorn felt that she hadn't aged much at all, physically or otherwise.

It was worrying, and he was unable to get any answers from anyone aside from a cryptic "Oh that's just her mutations doing that". Dorn wasn't so sure. The Primarchs aged quickly into adults, and before this she was aging at the same rate as a baseline. If anything, she should be aging quicker, not slower. But what was really concerning Dorn was how thin she looked these days. Her face was sharp and boney, bereft of any puppy fat that should've been there at this age. He knew Sanguinius thought her blood drinking was the result of the Red thirst, but looking over at Lilith, she just looked sick to him.

"Lilith, have you eaten today?" Dorn asks her cautiously as she sits on the floor, focused intently on a sketch. She'd been drawing more often lately, though her lines were shaky these days. She also seems to be intensely focused and after a few moments, Dorn clears his throat to get her attention, "Lilith, I asked if you've eaten"'

"I had some soup earlier" Lilith responded looking up from her drawing "I haven't really been able to keep much down lately. Please don't tell Father...he's got enough on his plate. H-he doesn't need to know about this. He's got Zad and the new baby. I'll be fine"

That just started alarm bells in Dorn's brain who decided to see if he could get more answers out of her, "What do you mean you haven't been able to keep much down? And why do you think your father doesn't need to know? You are just as important as the rest, if there is a problem, he should know"

"I'm fine! It's just... some illness is all. I'll be fine, uncle Rogal. You don't have to worry about me. Kakek says that the medicine should be doing their job soon, he says it might take a few days" Lilith replies to him, and gives a reassuring smile, leaving Dorn wondering if her fangs were always that big, or if they've gotten longer.

"You told me this three months ago. You're getting worse. Tell me what is truly wrong with you" He pushes "You are ill, and you are losing weight. You're eyes are not the colour they should be, and your feathers...you have been molting far more then you should. They shouldn't look so ragged" He says gesturing to her wings which were a far cry from how they once looked, patchy with bald spots that she's desperately tried to keep hidden.

"I-" Lilith just looked uncomfortable and looked away from Dorn, "Father has other kids doesn't he?" She instead asks, a slight reverb coming to her voice as it shakes, "He doesn't... He doesn't need a monster like me. He's probably ashamed of me... I mean look at how happy he is with Zad...he never looks at me like that anymore..."

"Your father loves you, he does. Don't call yourself a monster, no child is a monster" Dorn says pulling her into his lap, being mindful of her wings "You are his eldest, his first and currently only daughter. He loves you more then you know, why would he be ashamed?"

"Because I'm hungry! I can't eat food! Every time I eat anymore it all tastes bad! Pa wanted me to stop drinking blood! And the way he looks at me! Pa never looked at me like that! Maybe he's realized that the elders were right" Lilith sobs, bursting into tears, she's completely unable to stop both her accent and reverb from fully entering her voice, and Dorn just holds her closer.

He's angry at both Lilith's plight and at his brother, but he feels useless because he has the feeling that no one would listen. So he opts to just hold her in his arms. "Do you think some blood might help you? Does that still taste good to you?" He tentatively asks her "If I were to cut myself, would you drink?"

Lilith stiffens in his arms before pushing herself away from him and quickly standing up, swaying a little before she steadies herself, "No, no I won't feed on you, uncle. I haven't had blood in....I don't remember, but I don't need it, I'm fine. I-I just have to wait for the medication to work"

It broke his heart how desperate she sounded, and he wondered if slapping his brother across the face was warranted here. It was so clear to him that she was suffering, and if it was blood she needed... "Lilith, listen to me, you need blood. You are sick. If the medicine has done nothing now, it will not do so in the future. Please let me he- LILITH!"

While Dorn had been speaking, Lilith swayed dangerously before suddenly collapsing, Dorn catching her from falling completely to the floor. He quickly checked to see if she was alright, yet she'd clearly fainted "Lilith, Lili, please wake up, did you move too quickly?"

With no response from Lilith, and him listening closely to hear a very faint heart rate; Dorn panicks. She needs to be brought to an apothecary and quite frankly he was not trusting of Malcador or the Emperor in the slightest. Instead he was going hunt down one of the Blood Angel's apothecaries. They would know what to do better then he. Maybe they can give her a blood transfusion, he doesn't know.

All he knows is that Lilith is lighter then she should be, pale with her freckles standing out far to starkly against her skin, and she was cold. So very cold. That wasn't even speaking of her heart rate, which he swore was getting weaker until he certain there was a full minute between beats. He regretted not saying earlier.

He regretted it so fucking much.