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dynamox6 · 3 years ago

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Recommended Reading - Self-Help, Dating, Relationships

"The flame never dies because the commitment never ends."

1) Daniel Goleman – Emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence, Primal Leadership

2) Anthony Robins – Awaken The Giant Within

3) David Deida – Way of the Superior Man

4) Dale Carnegie – How to Win Friends and Influence People

5) Robert B. Cialdini – Influence, Yes!

6) Paul Ekman – Emotions Revealed, Telling Lies

7) Barbara Pease, Allan Pease – The Definitive Book of Body Language

8) Michelle Lia Lewis – Flirting 101

9) Eve Eschner Hogan – Intellectual Foreplay

10) Gary Chapman – The Five Love Languages

11) Barbara De Angelis – What Women Want Men to Know, The Real Rules

12) Michael Webb – The RoMANtic’s Guide

13) Gregory Godek – 1001 Ways To Be Romantic

14) William Cane – The Art of Kissing

15) Nancy Friday – My Secret Garden

16) John Bridges – How to be a Gentlemen

17) Fonzworth Bentley – Advance Your Swagger

18) Steve Santagati – The Manual

19) Susan Page – If I’m So Wonderful? Why Am I Still Single?

20) Sherry Argov – Why Men Love Bitches

21) Matt Ridley – The Red Queen

22) Maxwell Maltz – The New Psycho-Cybernetics

23) Faye Flam – The Score

24) Janine Driver – You Say More Than You Think

25) Sakyong Mipham – Turning The Mind Into An Ally

26) Napoleon Hill – Think And Grow Rich, How To Be Rich

27) Geoff Colvin – Talent Is Overrated

28) Richard Templar – The Rules of Love

29) Robert T. Kiyosaki – Rich Dad Poor Dad, Increase Your Financial IQ, Unfair Advanage

30) Marshall B. Rosenberg Ph.D – Nonviolent Communication

31) Nathaniel Branden – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

32) Peter Green – Ovid The Erotic Poems

33) Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements, The Mastery of Love

34) Stefan Klein – The Science of Happiness

35) Brian Tracy – The Psychology of Achievement (Audio CD)

36) Wayne Dyer – Your Erroneous Zones, Pulling Your Own Strings

37) Geoffrey Miller – The Mating Mind

38) Mary D. Esselman – The Hell with Love

39) Douglas Carlton Abrams – The Lost Diary of Don Juan

40) John Assaraf – The Answer

41) Malcolm Gladwell – Blink

42) Neil Strauss' Crowdsourced Reading Project 2012 Compilation PDF: http://societyinfo(dot)s3(dot)amazonaws(dot)com/crp(dot)zip

43) Rowland S. Miller – Intimate Relationships 6th Edition

44) www.thegreatcourses.com – Effective Communication Skills, How Conversation Works, Influence, The Everyday Gourmet, Changing Body Composition through Diet and Exercise

45) Willard F. Harley, Jr. – Love Busters

46) Betsy Prioleau – Swoon, Seductress

47) The Attraction Forums – Classic Writings Archive: http://t.co/fNqvDHZ34t

48) Nick Savoy – It’s Your Move

49) Daniel Bergner – What Do Women Want?

50) Robin Dreeke – It’s Not All About Me

51) Olivia Cabane – The Charisma Myth

52) Steven J. Stein – The EQ Edge

53) Karl Albrecht – Social Intelligence

54) Guy Winch – Emotional First Aid

55) Aziz Ansari – Modern Romance

56) Ryan Holiday – Ego Is The Enemy

57) Tucker Max, Geoffrey Miller PhD – Mate

#dating #dating advice #datingadvice #self help #selfhelp #bookaddict #booklover #relationship #relationships #relationship advice #relationship building #relationshipadvice

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queerasfact · 6 years ago

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Stormé DeLarverie - Sources

If you’ve heard our podcast on Stormé DeLarverie - drag king, bouncer, and mother of the New York queer scene - and you want to know more, here’s some sources you can check out:

A couple of quick notes - firstly, we used they/them pronouns when talking about Stormé (you can listen to our podcast to find out why) but you will find she/her and occasionally he/him pronouns used in these sources.

Secondly, a lot of the language surrounding gender and sexuality in these sources is now considered outdated and no longer used.

Lastly, we didn’t cover Stormé’s role in the Stonewall Riots in our podcast. It will come up in some of these sources, but we’ll be doing a podcast specifically focussing on Stonewall later on this year, and be sharing more info specifically about that then.

Interviews online:

A key source on Stormé‘s life is Stormé: The Lady of the Jewel Box, a 1987 film by Michelle Parkerson which includes interviews with Stormé, talking chiefly about their role in the Jewel Box Revue drag show. This documentary also includes footage of Stormé singing, and working as a bouncer.

Avery Willard’s Female Impersonation (1971) includes the earliest interview with Stormé I’m aware of, although Willard’s writing does include facts which are contradicted in other sources.

There are also several interviews with Stormé in the last years of their life, including:

An Interview With Lesbian Stonewall Veteran Stormé DeLarverie (After Ellen, 2010)

A Stonewall Veteran, 89, Misses the Parade (New York Times, 2010)

Gay Community’s Rosa Parks Faces Death, Impoverished and Alone (Huffington Post, 2010)

You can also listen to this recorded interview conducted by Kirk Klocke in 2009, including what may be the last ever recording of Stormé singing.

This video from 2009 includes clips from an interview with Stormé, including information about their childhood

Other online info:

Stormé DeLarverie: In a Storm of Indifference, She’s Still a Jewel (Huffington Post, 2013) an article written by Robert West, who knew Stormé personally

The Stonewall Veteran’s Association website page on Stormé is not particularly well organised, and does have sections that focus more on internal conflicts within the organisation than on Stormé’s life, but it does provide some information about them, especially about their later years and involvement with the SVA.

We’ll talk about it more in a later episode on Stonewall, but this article from After Ellen (2018) talks about misogyny, racism, and the erasure of Stormé from the narrative of Stonewall

Stormé’s New York Time’s obituary is also a good source information

This article was written after Stormé’s death, but includes quotes from people who knew them later in life

You can watch a video of Stormé’s memorial service here, where many of their friends tell stories about Stormé and the impact Stormé had on them. (Be aware that it is an open casket service, and the casket is shown at points in this video.)

Queer Music Heritage has a lot of information about the Jewel Box Revue, in which Stormé performed, including scans of newspaper clippings and interviews with the drag queens in the show.

Books:

There is no published book on Stormé’s life, but there are sections devoted to them in several books, including:

Billy J. Harbin, Kim Marra, and Robert A. Schanke’s The Gay & Lesbian Theatrical Legacy (2005), a good source of information especially about Stormé’s early career before they began performing in drag.

Penny Coleman’s Village Elders (2000) - Coleman interviewed many queer elders who are profiled in this book, including Stormé. This source includes the most information about Stormé’s partner, Diana.

Leslie Feinberg’s Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman (1996) includes a very brief interview with Stormé

Another useful background source was The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader (1992), edited by Joan Nestle - especially the chapter “The Butch as Drag Artiste: Greenwich Village in the Roaring Forties” (Lisa E. Davis)

Articles and analysis:

Elizabeth Drorbaugh’s “Sliding Scales: Notes on Stormé DeLarverié and the Jewel Box Revue, the cross-dressed woman on the contemporary stage, and the invert” in Lesley Ferris’ Crossing the Stage: Controversies on Cross-Dressing (2005) - Drorbaugh interviewed Stormé for this chapter, and provides a lot of information and analysis about the history of cross-dressing and Stormé’s place in it.

Robin Maltz’s “Real butch: The performance/performativity of male impersonation, drag kings, passing as male, and stone butch realness” in Journal of Gender Studies v.7 i.3 (1998) includes a discussion of how Stormé’s gender presentation can be interpreted through the lens of the butch lesbian community

Jack Halberstam’s “Mackdaddy, Superfly, Rapper: Gender, Race, and Masculinity in the Drag King Scene” in Social Text, No. 52/53, Queer Transexions of Race, Nation, and Gender (1997) includes discussion where Stormé’s presentation and where they sit within the history of drag kings.

#sources #storme delarverie #queer history #lgbt history #lgbtq #lesbian history #black history #black history month #gay history

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douxreviews · 6 years ago

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Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) Review

Kirk: "The needs of the one outweighed the needs of the many."

Fans refer to this movie as "The search for a plot", and yes, they have a point. The Search for Spock suffers from the high crime (or possibly just a misdemeanor) of being the middle movie in a trilogy, a bridge between the outstanding Wrath of Khan and the outstanding Voyage Home.

And yet, I realized during my rewatch that this is not a bad movie. There's a lot to like about it.

It's great fun to see the characters we love pulling off a starship heist. And like The Wrath of Khan, this movie features a major upsetting death, and I'm not talking about poor David, a good character who met a pointless (or pointy) end. It was the death of Enterprise herself. I can remember the first time I saw this movie, the destruction of our beloved ship really got to me. It echoed the theme of loss and rebirth in The Wrath of Khan.

But (and you knew there was a 'but' in there) as much as I love Spock, and I love him so very very much, bringing him back from the dead after killing him off so spectacularly was just a little bit wrong. So was retconning the beautiful, symbolically pure Genesis planet into a hopelessly screwed up mess. It was sad that it was all David's fault for using 'protomatter', as if they were giving the writers a reason for killing him off, although it did work as a device to make Spock's body age somewhat believably. If they hadn't started with regenerated Spock as a child, the other option would have been Vulcan zombies, and we can't have that. And I liked that Genesis turned into a "galactic controversy" because in real life, it would absolutely happen. It was interesting and somewhat disturbing that Starfleet was being just a little bit Gestapo about the whole thing.

But (and you knew there was another one a'comin') the fact that Vulcans had mind-meldable transferrable souls had never been mentioned before. You'd think that in all the years Spock served in Star Fleet, his comrades would have known that, just in case something happened to him. You'd think that Saavik, who was right there at the funeral, would have mentioned it in passing in between bars of "Amazing Grace." Okay, it was a fun plot point having Spock, already a divided being, with a disconnected body and soul to put together. But it did sort of come out of nowhere.

It was a cool plot point that the recovery of Spock was tied to saving McCoy as well. (Imagine if Kirk had lost Spock, McCoy and David all at the same time.) Loved DeForest Kelley mimicking Leonard Nimoy, up to and including an attempt at a Spock pinch. And of course, it was lovely in the end seeing Spock repeat his own dying words to Kirk: "The ship. Out of danger?" And Kirk giving him that "Needs of the one" response.

There were other bits that I loved, too. Even in his overwhelming grief over David, Kirk kept thinking and planning, very in character. The way he finally lost it with Kruge is still satisfying, not matter how many times I've seen it. "I... have had... enough... of YOU." One of my favorite bits was Scott, Sulu and Chekov trying to figure out the Klingon controls of the Bird of Prey, too, also wonderfully in character. And the self-destruct sequence was virtually identical to the same scene in "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield."

So it's not The Empire Strikes Back. The Search for Spock got us where we needed to go. Good enough.

Casting bits:

-- Merritt Butrick (David Marcus) also appeared in an episode of Next Gen. And he died way too young.

-- It seemed a bit cheap of them to redo the Genesis presentation because they didn't want to pay Bibi Besch. Seriously. What happened to Carol Marcus? She wasn't even mentioned.

-- Christopher Lloyd did his usual good job as Kruge, a slimy Klingon who (of course) had a slimy dog.

-- Dame Judith Anderson played Vulcan matriarch T'Pau... excuse me, T'Lar. And with jarringly bright lipstick and and way too obvious eyeliner that I just couldn't see a Vulcan matriarch wearing.

-- Robin Curtis got the difficult job of replacing Kirstie Alley as Saavik, plus she had to talk about pon farr, too. I remember wondering at some point if she had remembered to bring her birth control to the Genesis planet.

-- We got a glimpse of Janice Rand (Grace Lee Whitney) at the space station.

-- And we got Sarek! And he even mentioned his lineage -- son of Skon, son of Salkar. I thought Vulcan society was matriarchal?

-- Five actors played Spock. And Leonard Nimoy directed.

Bits and pieces:

-- Star date 8210.3. We visited Earth, the Federation Science Vessel Grissom (which was destroyed), Enterprise (which was destroyed), Excelsior (which was screwed up), the Genesis planet (which was destroyed) and Vulcan. Which ... I'll shut up now.

-- Why a red alert if there were only five of them on the entire ship?

-- Why didn't Uhura get to go along and nearly die, too?

-- McCoy went to a shady bar full of freaky aliens to hire a ship. I don't know why they didn't just call the place "Mos Eisley."

-- The Excelsior with its new transwarp drive was introduced, but all we saw was it failing.

-- Why did Sulu decide on a Peter Pan cape as a fashion accessory? Only marginally worse was Chekov's shirt, which I bet came from the Little Lord Fauntleroy collection.

-- If Mount Seleya is the only place for a Vulcan's soul to go, you'd think it'd be a very busy place.

-- This movie is surprisingly quotable. So there's that.

Quotes:

Kirk: "It seems I have left the noblest part of myself back there on that newborn planet."

Kirk: "Have you always multiplied your repair estimates by a factor of four?" Scott: "Certainly, sir. How else can I keep my reputation as a miracle worker?" This is one of my favorite Star Trek quotes ever.

Kirk: "My friends, the great experiment: The Excelsior. Ready for trial runs." Sulu: "She's supposed to have transwarp drive." Scott: "Aye. And if my grandmother had wheels, she'd be a wagon."

Kirk: "If there's even a chance that Spock has an immortal soul, it's my responsibility. Just as surely as if it were my own."

Alien with huge ears: "Oh, Mutara restricted! Take permits many, money more." McCoy: "There aren't going to be any damned permits! How can you get a permit to do a damned illegal thing? Look, price you name, money I got." Alien with huge ears: "Place you name, money I name, otherwise bargain, nooooo." McCoy: "All right, dammit! It's Genesis! The name of the place we're going is Genesis!" Alien with huge ears: "Genesis?" McCoy: "Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that?"

Kirk: (showing the Vulcan salute) "How many fingers do I have up?" McCoy: "That's not very damn funny."

Kirk: "You're suffering from a Vulcan mind meld, doctor." McCoy: "That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost."

Elevator voice: "Level, please." Scott: "Transporter room." Elevator voice: "Thank you." Scott: "Up your shaft."

Scott: "All systems automated and ready. A chimpanzee and two trainees could run her." Kirk: "Thank you, Mr. Scott. I'll try not to take that personally."

Scott: "The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain."

Kirk: "Gentlemen, your work today has been outstanding and I intend to recommend you all for promotion. In whatever fleet we end up serving."

McCoy: "His mind is a void. It seems, Admiral, that I've got all his marbles."

Kirk: "Klingon Commander, this is Admiral James T. Kirk. I'm alive and well on the planet surface. I know that this will come as a pleasant surprise to you. But our ship was a victim of an unfortunate accident. Sorry about your crew, but as we say on Earth, c'est la vie."

Kirk: "You! Help us or die!" Maltz: "I do not deserve to live!" Kirk: "Fine. I'll kill you later."

Three out of four of Spock's marbles,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.

#Star Trek #Star Trek III #Star Trek III: The Search for Spock #James T. Kirk #Spock #Leonard McCoy #Star Trek Reviews #Doux Reviews #Movie Reviews #something from the archive

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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago

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50 Being Alone Quotes to Conquer Feeling Lonely

These collection of “being alone quotes” will help you overcome the feeling of loneliness so you can get the most out of life.

In today’s constantly connected world, spending time alone can actually be good for your health and well being. Being alone provides a chance for your brain to rest and replenish itself.

Inserting a little solitude into your overfilled schedule will improve your concentration and help you get more work done in a shorter amount of time. When you spend time alone, you build your mental strength, develop more compassion, and become more creative.

Besides, being alone affords you time to think deeply, discover yourself and find your own voice. This will help you become more comfortable in your own skin.

Although we are wired for connection, spending some quiet time alone will allow you to plan how to get the most out of life. You should never feel guilty about finding a little time for yourself.

To help you embrace solitude and conquer the feeling of loneliness, below is our collection of inspirational, wise, and uplifting being alone quotes, being alone sayings, and being alone proverbs, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Being alone quotes to conquer feeling lonely

1.) ”If you want to be happy, learn to be alone without being lonely. Learn that being alone does not mean being unhappy. The world is full of plenty of interesting and enjoyable things to do and people who can enrich your life.” – Michael Josephson

2.) ”Without great solitude no serious work is possible.” – Pablo Picasso

3.) ”No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” – Gautama Buddha

4.) ”I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” – Robin Williams

5.) ”Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.” – Mandy Hale

6.) ”In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone.” – Rollo May

7.)” Being alone and actually sitting with our own thoughts can lead to such growth and realizations that are rare in our everyday busy lives.” – Kourtney Kardashian

8.) ”I’m fascinated with myself and love hearing the sound of my own voice. I’d like to hear what I have to say. A lot of people don’t like being alone because they truly don’t like themselves, but I love me.” – Gene Simmons

9.) ”The thought of being on my own really terrified me. But then I realized being alone is really a cleansing thing.” – Lindsey Buckingham

10.) ”Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.” – Henry Rollins

Being alone quotes to help you get the best our of life

11.) ”Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company.” – Booker T. Washington

12.) ”We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly – spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.” – Susan L. Taylor

13.) ”Nothing else so destroys the power to stand alone as the habit of leaning upon others. If you lean, you will never be strong or original. Stand alone or bury your ambition to be somebody in the world.” – Orison Swett Marden

14.)” Sometimes, you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself.” – Unknown

15.) ”You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” – Wayne Dyer

16.) ”If you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.” – Richard Yates

17.) ”Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate and love yourself.” – Robert Tew

18.) ”When you learn how to be alone you’ll discover the difference between alone and lonely.” – LJ Vanier

19.) ”Truth is, I’m generally happiest when it’s just me. It’s okay to be madly in love with yourself.” – Richelle E. Goodrich

20.) ”One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” – Shannon L. Alder

Being alone quotes to inspire self love

21.) ”People who do a job that claims to be creative have to be alone to recharge their batteries. You can’t live 24 hours a day in the spotlight and remain creative. For people like me, solitude is a victory.” – Karl Lagerfeld

22.) ”To be of good quality, you have to excuse yourself from the presence of shallow and callow minded individuals.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

23.) ”You are never alone. You are eternally connected with everyone.” – Amit Ray

24.) ”If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.” – Paulo Coelho

25.)” A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” – Mandy Hale

26.)” Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.” – Charlotte Eriksson

27.) ”Do not whine… Do not complain. Work harder. Spend more time alone.” – Joan Didion

28.) ”I was lonely. I felt it deeply and permanently, that this state of being on my own might never disappear. But I welcomed the loneliness, which had everything to do with being anonymous. It’s never loneliness that nibbles away at a person’s insides, but not having room inside themselves to be comfortably alone.” – Rachel Sontag

29.) ”Never give importance to anyone more than yourself, because once that person becomes important, you become nothing….” – Viren

30.) ”There are some places in life where you can only go alone. Embrace the beauty of your solo journey.” – Mandy Hale

Being alone quotes to help you live your best life

31.) ”Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment.” – Janet Fitch

32.) ”We need solitude, because when we’re alone, we’re free from obligations, we don’t need to put on a show, and we can hear our own thoughts.” – Tamim Ansary

33.) ”As regards intellectual work it remains a fact, indeed, that great decisions in the realm of thought and momentous discoveries and solutions of problems are only possible to an individual, working in solitude.” – Sigmund Freud

34.) ”The thing about living alone is that it gives you a lot of time to think. You don’t necessarily reach any conclusions, because wisdom is largely a function of intelligence and self-awareness, not time on your hands. But you do become very good at thinking yourself into endless loops of desperation in half the time it would take a normal person.” – Jonathan Tropper

35.) ”You’re not alone, there is more to this I know. You can make it out, you will live to tell.” – Saosin

36.) ”I’ve always believed that the only defeats and victories that matter in life are those you lose or win alone, against yourself.” – Mihail Sebastian

37.) ”Solitude is the soil in which genius is planted, creativity grows, and legends bloom; faith in oneself is the rain that cultivates a hero to endure the storm, and bare the genesis of a new world, a new forest.” – Mike Norton

38.)” Many people seek fellowship because they are afraid to be alone…let him who cannot be alone beware of community. He will do harm to himself and to the community. Alone you stood before God when he called you; alone you had to answer that call; alone you had to struggle and pray; and alone you will die and give an account to God. You cannot escape yourself, for God has singled you out.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

39.) ”You have to go ahead, even if no one goes with you.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

40.) ”Never make the mistake of thinking you are alone — or inconsequential. Ignorance is voluntary and confusion is temporary. You see the world as-is, which is more than can be said for the vast populace.” – Rebecca McKinsey

Being alone quotes to help you be your absolute happiest

41.) ”Everything that is tearing us down today will become a memory, and this memory will be shared as an anecdote or a story or a poem or a play or a warning. It will be shared with another human being, who will then understand that he is not alone in his sadness. This is why we show up for others and tell our tales and listen to others. The great congregation meets daily, and you are someone’s angel today.” – Tennessee Williams

42.) ”Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean loneliness. people are great! but being alone is wonderful. I prefer the silence of alone. and the sounds of nature.” – Jayson Zabate

43.) ”There is something immaculate about loneliness which only lonely people can understand” – Munia Khan

44.) ”I made my way here alone for a long while. It took some time to find my place. It took more time to become somebody worth protecting.” – Melissa Albert

45.) ”There are two kinds of luxuries; being alone and being with someone who understands.”- Nitya Prakash

46.) ”Like it or not, there are times when you need to be alone; times when you need to be lonely; times when you need to need other people.” – Alan Bradley

47.) ”If you are ever sad and think that life is hard, remember that you are not alone…” – Abbas Kazerooni

48.) ”It is never too late to make a change and taking some much needed alone time for yourself to reflect is not selfish.” – Nyki Mack

49.) ”If you make friends with yourself, you’ll never be alone.” – Maxwell Maltz

50.) ”Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.” – Unknown

Did you enjoy these being alone quotes?

Spending time alone has many physical and psychological benefits. It provides an opportunity for you to ensure there’s purpose to all your hustling so you can get the best out of life.

Although the feeling of loneliness can take root within you, you can learn to recognize and manage it. Hopefully, the above quotes will help you conquer feeling lonely so you can live your best life.

Which of these being alone quotes resonated with you best? Do you have any other quotes to add? Tell us in the comment section below. We would love to hear all about it.

The post 50 Being Alone Quotes to Conquer Feeling Lonely appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

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gabriellakirtonblog · 5 years ago

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Time Management Strategies for Personal Trainers

Feel like you’re too busy? You don’t have a time problem. You have a time management problem. These three strategies will help you take control of your schedule once and for all.

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“Don’t confuse activity with productivity. Many people are simply busy being busy.” Robin Sharma

Productivity isn’t about doing more. It’s not about being more efficient. It’s about being more effective. Your goal is to have more impact with less work.

The following time management strategies aren’t original or profound. Very few things are. If they look familiar, it’s because they work.

But they’re probably not part of your daily practice. You need discipline to stick with any practices long enough to reap the benefits, even simple ones like these. It’s execution, not innovation, that matters.

What all three have in common: proactivity.

Personal trainers who falter, flounder, and eventually fail spend too much valuable time reacting to the business they’ve already built (or fallen into). From the minute they wake until their heads hit the pillow at the end of the day, they’re reacting to texts, emails, and social media comments and DMs—on top of things they do for a living, like train clients.

They work hard, but too often have too little to show for it.

You deserve better, and if you follow these three strategies, you’ll achieve it.

Time management strategy #1: Touch it once

It’s the start of your workday, and you look at your inbox. You start at the top with a quick question from a client about her program. You fire off an equally quick answer, and you’re on to the next one.

It’s someone offering you a guest post, even though you don’t have a blog. Delete. Done. You’re cruising.

The third one is a client who wants to reschedule a session. You don’t have your calendar open, so you mark the email as unread and move to the next. It’s about a referral, something you’ll need to give some thought before you reply. This one also gets marked as unread, as does the next one, and a few more after that.

When you look up at the clock, you see you’ve been doing this for 30 minutes, and the inbox is still cluttered with emails you opened but didn’t act on. And now your first client is about to walk in the door and you still have programs to write.

If this sounds familiar, the “touch it once” rule is for you. Don’t start a task unless you can finish it and check it off your list.

It’s easiest to illustrate with email, but it applies to anything—writing programs, responding to social media comments and DMs, paying bills …

Time management strategy #2: Use lists and folders

To make the “touch it once” rule work, you need a way to prioritize your emails so you can set aside enough time to deal with them properly. But even before you do that, you need to decide how important those emails are, relative to other parts of your business, and pick a time to deal with them.

That’s why you need folders and lists.

Folders

Most of the time, you can tell what an email’s about by looking at the subject line and/or the sender. With a quick scan of the inbox, you can sort new emails into topic-specific folders like these:

Client inquiries

Programs to write

Stuff to read

Content ideas

Now, instead of your email managing you, you’ve managed your email. When it’s time to read and reply to them, you can start with the folder that’s most important to your business, which is probably “client inquiries.” You won’t look at the “programs to write” emails until you’re focused and ready to give them your undivided attention.

Here’s another way to use folders to organize information and make better use of your time:

If you’re like me, you get excited when you find something interesting to read online. The problem is, those things usually come to your attention while you’re in the middle of something else. Tempting as it is, you know if you click the link and start reading, you’ll lose all your momentum on the task at hand.

My solution is a free app called Evernote. It’s installed on my browser and iPad and syncs across both devices. I have a folder within the app labeled “to read later.” When I come across something that piques my interest, I simply tap the Evernote clipper on my browser, which I’ve preset to save a simplified version of the article to that folder.

I block off time once a week to open the folder. When that time comes, I sit down with a cup of coffee, open my iPad, and read anything that still seems interesting.

It took less than five minutes to set up my system, and it saves me hours a week. Another benefit: When I do sit down to read, I can focus on the articles, rather than giving them half my attention when I’m trying to finish something else.

Lists

You already know how important it is to plan your day in advance. But what I’m talking about is more than a to-do list you scribble down while waiting for the caffeine to kick in.

Before going to sleep, write down three things to accomplish the next day. Only include tasks that will move your business forward. If any of them is too long to finish in one sitting (writing a chapter, studying for a new certification), budget a specific amount of time.

Then make a second list with three important but routine things you do to keep your business rolling—answering emails, writing programs, paying bills …

READ ALSO: The Best Advanced Personal Training Certifications, According to Personal Trainers

Time management strategy #3: Clear the calculator

“Clear the calculator” comes from Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz, MD. It was originally published in 1960, but it’s even more relevant today, when all of us routinely work on several problems at once, without focusing completely on any of them. Multitasking isn’t good for anyone. You get less done, with lower quality and more stress.

One of my favorite tricks is to write down a short description of whatever task I’m working on at the moment. When I finish, I cross it out and write “done” next to it. Then I move on to the next.

It sounds silly. Obviously, I know it’s done, because it just happened a few seconds ago. But by telling myself it’s done, I clear it out of my head and begin the next task with a clean slate and my full attention.

Final thoughts

Blown away by these three strategies? Of course not. And that’s exactly my point. The fact they’re simple and kind of obvious is why they work so well.

To make them work even better, I’ve put together two free downloads:

Free download: Time Management Strategies Summary

Free download: Time Management Strategies Worksheet

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bhushangandhi-blog · 6 years ago

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Idea 2 - Drag

So, I thought what if I created a drag king character to perform as, touching on Bhushan’s experiences as well as experimenting with my own voice and identity.

Caitlin Greaf writes in her online article “Drag Queens and Gender Identity”: ‘Drag queens allow a break in the heteronormative gender guideline while also reinforcing the social image of what it means to look like a woman.’ [Greaf, C. 2015] They become a persona in which they have created themselves, but also have based it on the desired image of a woman; they are merging their self and character into one. However, there is a lot of criticism with drag queens in particular. Judith Butler indicates that although the drag community do manipulate conceptions of gender, ‘…they in turn also recycle the heteronormative ideals of feminine gender performances. Thus, through their feminine performance, they are justifying the pre-existing social ideas that femininity means to have a select type of stylized hair, make up, clothing, and body language.’ [Butler, J. 1988. pp519–531] It has always frustrated me knowing drag queens are more popular than drag kings; it is sad to think that even in the drag and LGBTQ+ communities where they promote love and acceptance, women are still fighting to be heard. Some drag queens and kings’ success are affected by if they “pass” which, for example refers, to how much a drag king looks and acts like a male. Robin Maltz discusses this in her book “Real Butch” and says that ‘To pass effectively, a subject is (mis)read as “real”.’ [Maltz, R. 1998. p286] In order for me to “pass” as Bhushan I would have to completely change the tone and timbre of my voice, which is of course impossible. So, would this mean that I would be perceived as less “real” or less successful?

I realised that this would be inappropriate for my project because it would be difficult to express myself as a drag king without being insensitive to Bhushan and his stories as they are tragic experiences that he struggled with. Also, I do not want to take the focus off Bhushan as the main character. Reminding myself that all I want to do is share his story.

This is when I realised I should look at traditional folklore and oral tradition and using this to tell my Grandad’s stories through the voices of his family.

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