#Roberta Steingas

[greatspacedustbin]

I just can't believe he's dead

[just-a-latina-fangirl]

You know what's the one thing I really wish Galavant'd done? (Asides from a third season ofc) Roberta and Madalena meeting.

I really wanna see Roberta meet the woman that caused all this mess and treated Richard so badly. I wonder if she'd get defensive, maybe even violent? She's a fighter after all. But I can also see her being compassionate, especially if Madalena'd gotten her redemption arc as was intended for S3.

And I really wanna see Madalena's utter disbelief at someone actually finding Richard attractive? Unbelievable. Also I feel like maybe she would like Roberta and think she deserves better and would be disappointed that she doesn't like her.

[hjbirthdaywishes]

July 24, 2023

Happy 43 Birthday to Clare Foster. 

[medievalandfantasymelee]

👑🌹The Queen of Love and Beauty🌹👑

Round 1 (4 of 6)

The Queen of Love and Beauty shall hold the honour of presenting unto the winner of the Tournament his Champion's Coronet.

Vote for the lady who, to you, best exemplifies feminine dignity, grace and loveliness

The six contenders with the most votes will advance.

Row 1 - Lady Marian Fitzwalter [Olivia de Havilland], The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) - Lady Marion of Leaford [Judi Trott], Robin of Sherwood (1984-1986) - Lady Marian [Audrey Hepburn], Robin & Marian (1976)

Row 2 - Guinevere [Angel Coulby], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012) - Morgana Pendragon [Katie McGrath], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012) - Morgana Pendragon [Eva Green], Camelot (2011)

Row 3 - Aliena [Hayley Atwell], The Pillars of the Earth (2010) - Æthelflæd of Mercia [Millie Brady], The Last Kingdom (2015-2022) - Marian of Knighton [Lucy Griffiths], BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-2009)

Row 4 - Catherine of Aragon [Maria Doyle Kennedy], The Tudors (2007-2010) - Djaq [Anjali Jay], BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-2009) [1] - Roberta Steingas [Clare Foster], Galavant (2015-2016) [1]

[wistfulwatcher]

Galavant | 2.07 "Love and Death"

[politedemon]

♫ Maybe you won’t die alone! ♫

[incorrect-galavant]

Galavant characters as Reductress headlines

(Galavant characters as Onion headlines)

bonus:

[ID:

a picture of Madalena. the headline says, “Woman Who ‘Hates Kids’ Used To Be One”

a picture of Madalena. the headline says, “Oh No! Woman Knows Exactly How Beautiful She Is”

a picture of Izzy. the headline says, “How to Achieve Personal Growth When All Your Flaws Are Adorable”

a picture of Roberta. the headline says, “I Lived It: I Literally Never Know What Anyone Is Talking About”

a picture of Gwynne. the headline says, “Inspiring! This Woman Uses Pure, Unadulterated Rage to Fuel Her Morning Run”

a picture of Jubilee. the headline says, “Black Boots That Look Different Enough From The Pair You Already Have”

a picture of Izzy’s mother. the headline says, “Uh, Oh: Mom Slowly Driving Down Road With All The Pretty Houses Again”

a picture of Madalena. the headline says, “How to Be in a Room With a Fireplace Without Getting Distracted by How Cool Fire Is”

a picture of Izzy’s parents. the headline says, “Mom and Dad Met in a Kind of Creepy Way???”

a picture of Roberta. the headline says, “4 Hearty Winter Stews to Make You Feel Like a Cold, Lonesome Prarie Wife”

Bonus:

a picture of Galavant. the headline says, “How I Learned To Love My Body and Embrace This Gaping Wound”

end ID]

[ao3feed-galavant]

no big thing to bleed for love (no miracle in being breakable)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2JP3vGS

by average_lasagna

prompt: "The way I feel when I'm with you..."

Words: 361, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Galavant fics

Fandoms: Galavant (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M

Characters: Galavant (Galavant), Isabella (Galavant), Roberta Steingass, Roberta Steingas, Richard (Galavant)

Relationships: Galavant/Isabella (Galavant), Roberta Steingas/Richard, Roberta Steingass/Richard (Galavant)

Additional Tags: pretty sure her name only has one 's' but i can't honestly remember

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2JP3vGS

[greatspacedustbin]

[tadcoopers-throneroom]

Galavant Sci-fi au

Star Wars. Doesn’t exist right now.  All these headcanons are based on tropes and Star Wars with it’s deep lore has probably shook that trope up that I use as evidence.  Star Wars is just too unique with too deep of lore that every entry I make will probably have to start or end with Star Wars did it or didn’t do that.   Like I don’t need Star Wars lore to thrown at me to say that this trope is used in every sci-fi thing, with Star Wars being an exception.  It’s Star Wars of course they did it or didn’t do it that one time.   Star Wars is too special to be painted with broad strokes of no sci-fi show has a human government like this or whatever example I use.  So I thought I’ll be upfront.  I pretended Star Wars isn’t Sci-fi when looking at these tropes for all our sanities. Also I may reference other things in Sci-fi shows as shorthand for what I am talking about.  It will probably just be things like Startrek.  You know super popular and well known but if there is confusion let me know.  

ao3

Galavant is a captain of a spaceship. He is human because there hasn’t been that many popular sci-fi media with an alien space captain as the lead.   His dad was also in this universe’s version of Starfleet.  I’ll call them Knights. His dad went missing.  Gal found him years later stranded on a planet with a whole bunch of alien children he was protecting.  Probably the only au I made where Gal wasn’t mad at his dad.

Isabella is an alien.  Human societies tend not to explore many different forms of government and I can’t think of any monarchy. Alien planets tend to be more willing to explore different forms of government.  So if a writer wanted a monarchy in their Space Opera. Alien.  I would say her planet would combine the medieval aesthetic of the show but would still have the tech of this universe.  Her life probably wouldn’t be that different growing up.  The only major differences before the plots of the show would be the tech and that she’s an alien.  She ends up being the representative of her race for the Knights.

Sid could be both to be honest.  Human or alien.  He could be a human adopted by aliens or an alien adopted by humans. I’d say his parents died in a battle and was left to one of their friends in the army to raise.   He is Galavant’s second in command.  He joined in the hopes to explore the universe.  

Madelena is one of those beautiful psychic aliens, like the Asari from Mass Effect.  I’d say she can use these powers to change how people see her (shapeshifting but her physical form stays the same everyone else just sees her as something else.), read minds and can bend people to her will. Also illusions.  She is one of the most politically powerful people in her race, using her powers for her own gains.  

Gareth is also an alien.   A warrior one like the Krogan from Mass Effect or the Klingon.  He made most of his money from mercenary work and is one of Madelena’s favorite warriors to hire.  People suspect that there is a romantic tie to them but the idea makes a lot of people angry at the very idea.  A beautiful alien that everyone wants to sleep with and an ugly brute, but no one would say that to their faces.  

Wormwood (wedding planner)-  He’s like Q from Star Trek.  A powerful alien no one understands and does what he wants.  He allied with Madelena because she seemed the most interesting to align himself with. 

Roberta is human.  Her family was a part of the Knights for generations.  Out of all the Knights Steingas is the most respected name.  She joined the knights at eighteen.  She would be a red shirt in the OG Star Trek.  Not like marked for death but she would be in the military specialization. 

Richard I got two head cannons an alien one and a human one. 

The human one he is a disgraced  ship captain.  He took Madelena on board his ship because he thought she needed help but she stole a bunch of information, and it almost cost Richard his life.  He was charged with treason but was saved when his brother Senator Kingsley pulled some strings.  He was labeled incomptent and fired.  He had no hope of redemption until Roberta showed up on a mission he accidentally got involved in.  Roberta managed to use her Steingas name to get Richard into the Knights as a soldier like her when the mission was completed.  Richard ends up falling for her after that.

Alien Richard would be born on a monarchy planet like Isabella but it got destroyed by Madelena making him go on the run as the King of the planet.  He ends up joining The Knights in the hopes to protect others from his home’s fate.  He would be in a political section though.  Makes first contact and makes deals with other aliens.  

Chef is an alien from a  poverty stricken planet.  He is the ship’s cook and falls in love with ships medic/robot Gwynn. 

Gwynn was built for medical purposes.  And is one of the first AI’s made to start experiencing emotions.  The idea was that a Doctor Robot should be able to simulate emotions because sometimes you need a chipper doctor but at other times your doctor cheerfully telling you your father is dead is not good.  That was the main reason people struggled to have medical AI.   They couldn’t give bedside care and give bad news.  Gwynn was supposed to change that.  But what happened was her inventors accidentally programmed emotions into her.   No one knew until she fell in love with the chef.  She was hesitant to get into a relationship like in the show but now it’s because she was literally not programmed for this and was confused and a bit scared.  Chef was very patient with her.

Jester is a pilot.  He reminds me of Wash and Joker. He is considered an alright guy to come to if you need someone to cheer you up.  He also has a bit of a reputation for being a playboy. 

The pirates full of humans and aliens alike.  Though the captain is an alien because a lot of other space ships in sci fi media mix things up with alien side ships.  They are sometimes friends to The Knights when they give information about the criminal world or sell stolen goods. Other times a major pain in the ass for the knights, stealing from them or their allies.  Or The Knights were fucking with one of their criminal allies.  

Jubilee is an alien.  She and her family was a part of a planet wide rebellion.  The Knights came to their aide and placed Jubilee’s parent’s on the throne.  She doesn’t like the idea of her planet being a part of another government’s hold, even if the planet is under an alliance a large portion of the galaxy is in.   She figures the idea of leaving the thumb of one forgin government to jump into the arms of another is idotic.  And is working on a second rebellion.  

Enchanted Forest was an abandoned planet.  But soon a group of queer people abandoned by their families or societies mistreated them made sort of a found family and settled there.    They soon set out and found more queers to bring to the planet. And soon any queer kid that needs a place to stay knows where to go.  The planet is of course forested with weird sci-fi plants to make it look magical.  And ships are leaving all the time hunting for other queers.

[just-a-latina-fangirl]

Galavant Ask Game

I made this because I'm on a rewatch and I want to talk about this wonderful show, so please send asks and feel free to use it as well!

Favorite main character

Favorite recurring character

Favorite guest star

Least favorite character

Favorite song

Least favorite song

Favorite voice

Favorite couple

Least favorite couple

Favorite friendship

Duo you wish we'd seen more of

Season 1 or season 2?

Favorite moment from season 1

Favorite moment from season 2

Favorite episode

Least favorite episode

Favorite storyline

Least favorite storyline

Favorite location

Favorite costume

Favorite gag/recurring joke

Favorite quote

How/why did you start watching the show

Unpopular opinion(s)

Any headcanons?

Thing(s) you love most about the show

Thing(s) you hate most about the show

Something you wish would'd happened

Something you would change about the show

Your pitch for season 3

[hjbirthdaywishes]

July 24, 2022

Happy 42 Birthday to Clare Foster. 

[swanqueeneverafter]

What Dreams May Come, Pt.24

Henry's Dreamscape. Aboard The Jolly Roger. (Having stowed-away inside two barrels, Hook and Henry check the coast is clear before making their move.) Henry: (Disgusted:) "Yeah, I definitely smell like pork. Let's never do that again.” Hook: “Agreed. (Sniffs:) Hopefully, they won't smell you coming.” (Drawing their swords, they make their way across the ship where they spot a lone pirate checking the rigging.) Henry: (Pressing his sword into the man’s back:) “Turn around.” Smee: (Slowly turning around:) “Captain!” Hook: “Shh, shh, shh, shh! Quiet, Mr. Smee.” Smee: “I'm sorry I let Blackbeard take the Roger.” Hook: “Look, you can apologize later. How many men are still loyal to me?” Smee: “There's me, um, Hudson the Cook, uh, and One Eyed Jack.” Hook: “Oh.” Smee: “Maybe.” Hook: “Hmm.” Henry: “What? That's it? I thought you said the crew loved you.” Hook: “Well, what I meant was that they will love me after they learn that I have the map to Davy Jones' Locker.” Blackbeard: (Arriving with the crew:) “But you don't have the map, Captain. (Taking the map out of Hook’s hand:) I do. Poor Captain Hook. Brought low by a man he despises. First, I took his ship and then his map, and, uh, pretty soon, I'll take his life.” Hook: “Ooh, big words. It's a shame you don't make good on them.” Blackbeard: “One more word, and your foul-smelling friend here, dies!”

Hook: “Oh, you don't want to do that. You can't go around killing royalty, and this here is Prince Henry of Storybrooke.” Blackbeard: (Withdrawing his sword:) “Oh. Very well. (Bows to Henry:) In that case, set a course for Davy Jones' Locker. And, uh, once we know the map is real, (Holds his sword at Henry’s throat:) we'll offer the sharks a royal meal.” Kingdom of Valencia. Throne Room. (Gareth walks across the room eating a chicken leg when a voice stops him dead in his tracks.) Richard: (Draped across the throne:) “Hello, my friend.” Gareth: “Richard!” Richard: “Surprise!” Gareth: “What are you doing here?” Richard: “Oh, just thought I'd pop in for a visit. Come here, you. Give us a hug. (As they hug, Richard’s crown falls off:) Oh. My favorite crown.” Gareth: “Don't worry. I'll get it.” (When Gareth stoops down to pick up the crown, he and Richard swap places.) Richard: “What the hey, Gareth?” (When Richard turns his back, Gareth sees a knife sticking out of it, before Richard collapses to the floor.) Gareth’s Chambers. Gareth: (Awakening from his nightmare:) “Aah!” The Queen’s Chambers. (Madelena is woken by Gareth’s screams.) Queen Madelena: “Oh, bloody hell. Not again!” Sid’s Quarters. (Madelena storms into Sid’s quarters, yelling.) Queen Madelena: “That is the third time this week the king has woken me because of his screaming!” Sid: “I think he's having bad dreams, My Queen.” Queen Madelena: (Folding her arms:) “I want you to fix it.” Sid: “How do I do that?” Queen Madelena: “Not my problem. What is my problem is his screaming is interrupting my beauty sleep, and do you know what happens when a queen loses her beauty sleep?” Sid: “She can sleep in later because she's a queen and she can do whatever she wants?” Queen Madelena: “She could get a wrinkle. And if she gets a wrinkle... She'll make sure you get a wrinkle. On your neck! (She leaves. Then, a moment later, returns:) I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. I'm really tired. What I'm trying to say is if you don't fix it, I'll cut your throat. Okay? Nighty-night.” The Land Without Magic. New York. Regina & Emma's Hotel Room. (Emma bites into an authentic New York bagel.) Emma: "Mmm. That's what I remember." Regina: (From the other room:) "Don't spoil your appetite for tonight, now." Emma: "I'm not, I'm refueling. Seriously, Regina, we must have gone to every store in the city." Regina: "I didn't hear you complaining when we were on Madison avenue." Emma: (Smiles:) "True, but you have to admit, I did earn it." Regina: (Chuckling:) "That you did. Who knew you were such an exhibitionist?" Emma: "Trying on clothes in front of my wife is hardly what I'd call exhibitionism."

Regina: "I was referring to the strip teases you'd give me at each outfit change. (Entering the room:) So, what do you think? You can hardly tell I'm pregnant in this, right?" (Emma's mouth opens and closes several times as she takes in Regina's ensemble. Wearing a leopard skin top beneath a faux fur jacket with black booty shorts, Regina is a sight to behold.) Emma: "You look amazing. But er... that's not for tonight, right?" Regina: "Why, what's wrong with it?" Emma: "T-there's nothing wrong with it. I just-" Regina: (Laughs:) "Oh relax. You don't seriously think I'd be seen in public like this do you?" Emma: "Then why buy that stuff?" Regina: "Well, New York may not have clothes that the Evil Queen would wear, but when I saw this, I thought it was exactly the sort of thing Roni would love." Emma: "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, Roni has great taste." Regina: "I thought you'd like it." (Winks.) Emma: "Mm. You know what I'd like to see even more?" Regina: "What's that?" (Emma gets to her feet, walks over to stand in front of Regina.) Emma: "I wanna see just how well we fit together in that huge tub in the bathroom." Regina: (Smiles:) "I like the way you think." Emma: "After you. ‘Cause I just gotta see how your ass looks in those shorts." (Chuckling, Regina turns and walks seductively towards their ensuite bathroom. Emma following closely behind her.) Henry's Dreamscape. A Small Hut In Richard’s Kingdom. (Richard and Ella sit opposite an imposing looking man who is the leader of the new militia. After returning to Richard's kingdom, he and Ella discovered that the people had chosen to live in a democracy, meaning that Richard was no longer king. In addition to this, Richard’s former subjects knocked down the castle in order to build houses for themselves.) Richard: "So, you can imagine my surprise when I return to what used to be my kingdom and find out about all this." Militia Leader: "In our defense, you were gone an awfully long time." Richard: "All right, that's fair. That's on me. I should've sent a pigeon or two. However, while I am no longer your king... Unless, of course, you'd like to put it to a quick vote? All in favor? Yes? Anyone? (Looks around the hut:) Hmm? No? Fine. (Clears throat:) But if I were still your king, I would force every one of you to join us, not because I was a tyrant and a terrible leader, but because true love is rare and worth fighting for. It is life's greatest purpose.” (A woman steps forward.) Roberta: “I’m sorry, true love?” Richard: “Oh yes. Sorry, didn’t we explain? Very well, we came here to recruit some soldiers, depose Madelena so Ella here can reclaim her kingdom, and after that, be reunited with her true love, Henry. So... As someone who is ‘not’ your king... I ask... Who will join this fight for true love?” (There is a long, embarrassing moment as no one seems interested in joining their quest, until...) Roberta: “I will join, King Richard!” Richard: (Smiling:) “Well, there we go. That's a good start. Right. Who's next? (Man coughing:) Anyone at all? (Murmuring:) Well, this is certainly uncomfortable.“ Militia Leader: “If we did decide to join you, what would be in this deal for us?”

Richard: (Reaching into his pocket:) “Perhaps I have something that might help. Jewel of Valencia! Boom!” Ella: “Where did you get that?” Richard: “I smuggled it out when Henry and I escaped from the kingdom.” Ella: “How? You didn't have anything with you.” Richard: “I swallowed it.” Ella: “But, it's huge.” Richard: “Believe me, I know. I had to slather it with bacon grease to choke it down.” Ella: “That's insane.” Richard: “No, what's insane is when it came out. Now I know what my mother was always complaining about.” Militia Leader: “Enough! We have a deal. I mean, rinse it off one more time... And we have a deal.” Ella: “Excellent.” Richard: “Uh, can I just say, it is so nice to negotiate with men of honor. I mean, you outnumber us ten to one. You could've just as easily murdered us and kept the Jewel for yourself, but, you, sir, are a class act.” (Ella and Roberta share a pained look as the Militia Leader realises the truth in Richard’s words.) Small Hut. Exterior. (Ella, Richard and Roberta run quickly from the hut, the Militia now after them.) Richard: “We’re leaving!” Roberta: “Grab the horses, pup-pup!” Richard: “Right! (Stops running:) Uh...Pup-pup? Well, no one's called me that since... Wait a minute. (Turns back around, completely oblivious to the fact that Ella and Roberta are dueling with several members of the militia:) Are you Roberta Steingas?” Roberta: (Overpowering, disarming and then knocking out a militia man:) “I am!” Richard: “Oh...My...God! Bobby Steingas! Why didn't you say something?” Roberta: “I didn't think you'd remember me. Duck!” (Richard does and Roberta throws a knife at an oncoming assailant.) Richard: (Stands:) “Not remember you? Are you crazy? We grew up together, you big dummy! (Roberta laughs and engages another man in combat. Walking casually over to Ella:) Ella, you're not gonna freakin' believe this! Our new traveling companion is Bobby Steingas! She was one of the children my parents used to hire to play with me!” Ella: (Struggling with a bearded man:) “Do you think maybe we could catch up later?!” (Ella punches the man and turns to take on another.) Richard: “Oh, sure, she was 7 and I was 13, but it just worked, you know? (Ella catches a knife out of the air mere inches from Richard’s face:) Yeah, we can talk about this later.” (Richard, Ella and Roberta make a successful getaway on horseback. Losing their pursuers in the woods, Ella turns her horse to face the other two.) Ella: “Richard, I need you to focus. Yes, it's good you smuggled the Jewel out in your...” Richard: “Bottom. Well, mouth first.” Roberta: “Wait, what?” Ella: “But we can't have any more mistakes. This Jewel is now our key to getting an army and stopping Madelena once and for all.” Richard: “Don’t be forgetting about Henners.” Ella: (Coldly:) “We’ll see.” Richard: (To Roberta:) “That didn’t sound too promising.” (Roberta shakes her head in agreement before they follow Ella deeper into the woods.)

Kingdom Of Valencia. (Not knowing the best way to speak to the new king, Sid tries the direct approach.) Sid: “Sir, have you been having bad dreams?” Gareth: (Pushing him against a wall:) “Who's been telling you I'm having bad dreams?” Sid: “The queen! She's heard you screaming at night and wants me to help!” Gareth: “Come here.” Sid: (As Gareth drags him to a quiet corner. Whimpers:) “Oh, God, this is it!” Gareth: “Shut up! I'm not gonna kill ya! (Sid sighs in relief:) Yes, okay. I've been having bad dreams about King Richard. I don't know what to do.” Sid: “Well, when I was younger, I had a recurring nightmare. But then my mum helped me figure out what it meant, and it went away.” Gareth: “No, this is more complicated than that. It's more of a riddle. I'm always holding King Richard's crown! He's accusing me of betraying him.” Sid: “Yeah, that's a real enigma. Do you think that maybe you're feeling... I don't know... A little...Guilty?” Gareth: “What's ‘guilty’?” Sid: (Laughs, the realises Gareth is serious:) “Oh, um... When you feel bad about what you've done.” Gareth: “That's not a thing! I'm wasting my time talking to you!” (Gareth walks away. Looking across the courtyard, Sid gulps as he sees Madelena making a throat slitting gesture towards him.) The Land Without Magic. New York City. Night. (Emma and Regina are having dinner at a fancy restaurant, talking, laughing and generally getting to know each other a little better.) Emma: (Catches Regina staring at her:) "What is it, do I have something on my face?" Regina: (Smiles:) "No, you're perfect. (Emma rolls her eyes:) I mean it. After everything you've been through in your life, how can you possibly be this open, tender and warm human being?" Emma: (Laughs:) "Well not everyone would see me that way. I've been told plenty of times that I'm just the opposite. Closed off, hard, cold." Regina: "Some of us cultivate that persona." Emma: "True, but then you'll agree that it takes the right person to see through all that, to get to the good stuff." Regina: "I do." Emma: "You know, it's pretty rare, but the fact that we're so alike works for us. Usually they say opposites attract." Regina: "Who's they?" Emma: "I don't know, 'they' 'them', whoever. It's just something people say." Regina: "But are we that alike?" Emma: "Of course we are. Do you want me to make a list? (Regina nods:) Okay, first word that comes into your head to describe your childhood. One, two, three, go." Both: "Lonely." Emma: (Smirks:) "See?" Regina: "Yes, but Emma, I'm responsible for your loneliness." Emma: "Mm. Obviously there’s a case to see things like that, but I don't." Regina: (Chuckles:) "Which I have never understood." Emma: "Okay, well I'll try and make it clearer. Back when you were little, your mother made the decisions about your life for you. My parents did the same. Whereas Cora wanted you to have the life she wanted, my parents sent me away so that I may one day restore the life they had." Regina: "Yes, but even so, if I had not cast the curse-" Emma: (Cutting in:) "Thanks to the Evil Queen, I have glimpsed what my life would have been like as the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. You saw it too, how meek and miserable an existence that was." Regina: "That wasn't real. It was a fictional realm created by a wish." Emma: "Perhaps. But deep down in my soul, I know that is just how my life would have turned out if they never gave me up." Regina: "Are you seriously suggesting that you're glad I cast the curse?" Emma: "I'm saying that for everything that happened, for everything you and I overcame, I would do it all again in a second. Because now I realise that everything happened precisely as it should. Precisely." Regina: (Tears in her eyes:) "Dance with me." Emma: (Glances around:) "I'm not sure there's dancing here, Regina." Regina: "Sure there is. (Offers her hand and Emma takes it. Together they walk to the middle of the dining room and begin to dance, whispers:) You're right." Emma: "I know. Which part exactly?" Regina: "About us being alike. Because there's nowhere I'd rather be, than here with you. "  

Henry's Dreamscape. Campsite. (Ella sits alone studying the map while Richard and Roberta catch up on old times.) Richard: (Walking over:) “Hey, Ella, listen, I want to apologize again for screwing up earlier. I was only trying to be helpful, but I promise, from now on, I'm going to do everything right.” (Sits across from her.) Ella: “You're sitting on the map.” Richard: “Oh, sorry. (Reaching underneath himself:) From now on. (Accidentally tears off a corner of the map:) Sorry. From now now on. Sorry.” Ella: “No need to apologize. Listen, I was thinking from here on out, maybe I'll do the hero thing... Alone.” Richard: “What? Why?” Ella: “Well, because you nearly got us killed by those mercenaries and the countless other times you've put our lives in jeopardy.” Richard: “But helping you is all I have right now. I mean, what else would I even do?” Ella: “I don't know. For argument's sake, maybe you could spend some more time with Roberta. Hmm? I mean, you two obviously have something going on.” Richard: “Me and her? Are you serious?” Ella: “No. I just said it to get out of an awkward situation, but, actually, now that I think about it, yeah, that would be a really good way to get you out of my hair.” Richard: “Okay, that is officially the grossest thing I have ever heard. Me and Bobby?! I mean, we played together as children! She's like a sister! And not the kind of sister you marry.” Ella: “Yeah, look, I know it's hard to see people in a different light. Unless someone comes up with a ridiculous plan to force you together. (Thinks:) Apropos of nothing, why don't we all go for dinner tonight, hmm? Somewhere candlelit.” Richard: “Hmm. So... Anywhere?” Ella: “Yeah, pretty much anywhere at all.” That Evening. A Romantic Restaurant. (Ella is going over everything with the maître d.) Ella: “So, as soon as we're all seated, you come and send for me. (Roberta arrives:) Oh, Roberta! Ooh, you look amazing!” Roberta: “Please excuse the dress. The blouse I usually wear under it has completely disappeared.” Richard: (Following:) “Wha... mine, too!” Ella: “Must be fairies. Big problem around here. Shall we sit? (To Roberta:) You're over there.” Roberta: “Okay.” Ella: (When Richard attempts to sit down:) “Uh! You're across from her.” Richard: “All right.” Ella: (Taking her seat:) “Isn't this nice?” Waiter: (Approaches, a crow perched on his arm:) “An urgent crow for you, miss.” Ella: “Oh, thank you. Unexpected. (Reads the parchment:) Oh. I've got to take this. Uh, you carry on without me. (Plucks a rose from a vase and hands it to Richard:) Here.” Richard: “Oh, thank you.” (While Richard smells the rose, Ella forcefully makes him give the rose to Roberta instead.) Roberta: “Oh. Thank you.” (Ella leaves.) Richard: “She's... She's a bit odd. (Roberta laughs:) I'm sorry. This is crazy. If you had told me a week ago that I would be sitting here with my old pal Bobby, I'd say you've got a goblin in your head. (Roberta chuckles:) Oh, guess what! I can still fit my entire fist in my mouth. Do you want to see?” Roberta: “Oh.” Ella: (Watching from afar:) “Oh, Richard, honestly, do I have to do everything myself? (Calling the minstrels to her:) Lutes. Viols. Irritating little crumhorns. (Now dressed as a minstrel:) ♪ Gaze at the person across from you now ♪ ♪ Feel the sweet spark of connection ♪ ♪ If you don't screw up this moment somehow ♪ ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ (Ella and the minstrels circle Richard and Roberta:) ♪ Don't be too needy ♪ ♪ Or bring up your ex ♪ ♪ Don't say the words ♪ ♪ "Herpes simplex" ♪ ♪ Don't ever mention ♪ ♪ You've never had sex ♪ ♪ Trust me ♪ ♪ I promise ♪ ♪ She knows ♪ (Ella lowers Roberta’s hair:) ♪ And now her defences are starting to fall ♪ ♪ Smile and return her affection ♪ ♪ If you don't manage to ruin it all ♪ ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ (Ella and the minstrels walk away from the table.) Richard: “It is the damnedest thing, but... Looking at you right now...” Roberta: “Yeah?” Richard: (Putting his head in his hand:) “I mean, it's almost as if...” Roberta: “You're on fire.” Richard: “I mean, I don't know that I'd say I'm on ‘fire,’ but...” Roberta: (Pointing:) “No, no, you're on fire!” Richard: (Realises his beard is smoking:) “Oh! Oh, oh, God! Agh! (Stands, running from the table, with Roberta following him:) Ow! Oh, God!” Ella: ♪ Don't begin screaming ♪ Richard: “Oh, oh! Oh!” Ella: ♪ You'll blow the whole mood ♪ Richard: “Oh, no! Ow! Ow!” Ella: ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ Richard: “Oh, God! Ow!” Ella: (Fed up, slumps into Richard’s empty chair:) ♪ Maybe you won't die alone ♪ Aboard The Jolly Roger. (The crew bring down a net containing Davy Jones' Locker in front of a bound Henry, Hook & Smee.) Blackbeard: "Well, Prince Henry, you'll be as amazed as I am to find your washed-up old pirate actually led us to Davy Jones' locker. (Laughs:) Oh, and to a watery grave for all three of you. Let's have a look at what we've stolen from Davy Jones. (Shatters the lock with the hilt of his sword:) Oh, good Lord. (Reaching into the chest:) There it is. The Star Sapphire of Davy Jones. The ring with which he took his pirate bride and now a worthy addition to the legend of Blackbeard, scourge of the sea, the elegant duke, (While Blackbeard pontificates, Hook frees himself:) the crown prince of plunder, the baron of looting.”

Hook: (When Henry notices:) “I stubbed my boot on this nail a thousand times. It's about time it proved useful. (Hook frees Henry, holding the dagger in his hand:) You want an adventure, lad? Now's your chance. Go and get yourself that ring.” (Henry stands, closing the chest and punching one of the crew. Soon Hook and Smee join in the fighting as Henry makes his way across the ship to Blackbeard.) Blackbeard: “You're a quick lad. But are you quicker than the legendary Blackbeard?” (They duel, with Henry quickly disarming the pirate.) Henry: (Holding his dagger to Blackbeards’ throat:) “Clearly, yes, I am.” Blackbeard: “Enough!” (Upon his order, the crew cease fighting.) Henry: “Now give.” Blackbeard: (Handing over the ring:) “Next time we meet, you won't be getting such a fine gift as this for your bride.” Henry: “Wait. How do you know about a bride? (The crew begin to laugh, sheathing their swords:) This was a set-up? Is any of this real?” Blackbeard: “Well, the treasure is. Let's just split it three ways and go home. A deal's a deal, Hook.” Henry: (Holds up the ring as Hook approaches:) “Meaningless. You’ve made a fool of me.” Hook: “I know, lad. I thought if I helped you with this, then (Sighs:) maybe I... I don't know.” (He looks over at the sails whipping in the wind.) Henry: “Hook, I'm sorry, but I came to find adventure and now it seems, even in my dreams that the idea of me being a hero is fake.” Hook: “Lad, it looks like this adventure is about to get less fake. (Thunder rumbles:) I've never seen a storm blow up like this.” Blackbeard: “No captain alive could steer us out of this.” Hook: “I'll take up that challenge, and you can stop pretending to be captain. Man your stations!” Henry: “Hey. I can help, you taught me how to sail, remember?” Hook: (Nods:) “Then grab a rope. We gotta get out of here!”

[wehadtoeathobbits-blog]

“We ate HOBBITS!”

Independent Roberta Steingas

Sideblog to: tummyflowerisms

Multi-Ship

Crossovers Welcome

Selective. Mutuals Only. 

12 years of writing. 

Promo Made by: elsaofarendelle

[incorrect-galavant]

Galavant characters as the five love languages

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