#Riverdale is a true delight

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Anything Goes - A Riverdale Thesis Statement

So, I was listening to "Anything Goes" of the Riverdale album recently to luxuriate in the majesty that is Ashleigh Murray. (She is so sorely missed.)

I find this song to be so deeply important to Riverdale as a way of understanding where it's coming from on all levels.

There are a few songs they've done over the years that I consider to be "thesis statements" for the show. Seventeen is another big one, but let's focus on this one for now. I'll talk about that song another day.

In-depth rambling beneath the cut. <3

I think Anything Goes is appropriately positioned in Season 3 because this is the season where the style of the show starts to reveal itself as more heightened and abstract.

Riverdale, if anything, is a burlesque number. Slowly peeling back its more accessible layers into something entirely unique and strange.

Season 3 is when the show starts to reveal that it's not your typical teen drama and it never was. (This is why a lot of people struggle with this season and drop off. It really is the culling blade. I will release my essay on this in due time.)

Anyway.

For those that might not be aware, "Anything Goes" is the title song of the musical "Anything Goes" by Cole Porter.

Here's the original version in one of my favorite performances of the song by Sutton Foster in a rehearsal. Seriously, she's incredible. (Maybe I just love giant tap numbers, but this fills me with delight every time I see it.)

In any case, the song's lyrics are about how the times have changed. Standards of morality are lower than ever before. I think that, in its original meaning, it does apply to Riverdale, but there's a bit more to it than that. Let's unpack.

As Cole Porter puts it:

"In olden days a glimpse of stocking was Looked on as something shocking now Heaven knows Anything goes"

This easily applies to the salacious nature of Riverdale, especially in the earlier seasons. I mean, could Cole Porter have even conceived of a kinky lesbian sex scene intercut with violent boxing? Anything goes, indeed.

And sexual stories have a heavy stigma attached to them. Eroticism, though one of the most popular topics and genres since the beginning of time, is often treated as a lesser form of art. Too much sex in your story and it becomes "pornography", a word often spit rather than said.

Moving on.

The second verse says:

"Good authors too who once knew better words Now only use four letter words Writing prose Anything goes"

Though Riverdale doesn't really use a ton of "four letter words", this verse can easily apply to Riverdale's low-brow plots and ideas. Bloody serial killers. Secret siblings. Murder. Mothmen. Etc. Etc.

Horror and melodrama, two of Riverdale's most beloved genres, have also been treated as second-class citizens in the art world for ages. This is especially true nowadays even with the rise of prestige, high-concept horror. The genre, on the whole with notable exceptions, is still treated as a lesser art form.

"The world's gone mad today And good's bad today Black's white today And day's night today And all the guys today That women prize today Are just silly gigolos Anything goes Anything goes"

"Everything is wrong," the song declares. The world is upside down.

A couple of things about this section.

1: It sounds to me like the haters lamenting the state of art and the world today. "I can't believe that show has seven seasons." "It got too weird." Etc. Etc.

2: I feel like the first two lines are a tongue in cheek praise of Camp.

3: The line about the guys of today that women prize makes me think back to my first point about the thirsty nature of this show.

Do I sound insane yet?

Regardless, the lyrics can be taken either sarcastically or sincerely. So, in one version the singer is lamenting the state of affairs and in another, they're delighted with how much freedom there is.

Riverdale obviously falls in the latter interpretation, but I can't help but hear the first one as well because it echoes criticism of the show.

Two more bits I want to mention.

"So though I'm not a great romancer, I Know you're bound to answer when I propose Anything goes"

If I had a criticism of Riverdale, it would be its lack of polish. It might not be the best "romancer" as it were, but oh, how can I reply with anything but an enthusiastic "YES. <3" when it proposes, through its unrelenting, feverish madness that truly, anything goes?

Riverdale hops from genre to genre and style to style with such reckless avarice that I genuinely swoon. It embraces a hedonism and indulgence that "high art" scoffs at. Highly technical works of art, though beautiful and thought-provoking are often quite restrained. They're often very focused on one topic or style. Their limited scope allows for a cleaner execution.

Riverdale pours all of American culture into one giant bowl and hands you a spoon. It's messy and unrefined. It's hard to swallow, at times. It's unbalanced, but god, does it burst with charm and flavor. Maybe my palette, cut on technique and training, was just longing for something that tasted of heart. Either way, I think this is Riverdale's greatest strength.

Finally.

"And all the pains you've got If any brains you've got From those little radios Anything goes Anything goes Anything"

I think this is a cheeky dare to look more deeply at this show. It's daring the listener to meet Riverdale with their heart (their pains) and with whatever brains they might have left after being glued to their "little radios" for so long.

That's definitely not what the original song was saying, but I'm only looking at it in the context of Riverdale.

EDIT**: OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT TO INCLUDE THIS. It's like, half the reason I wrote the post.

So, one more thing about this particular version of the song that makes it fit Riverdale so perfectly.

The style is dark, sexy, and almost angry. It's almost accusatory. This fits in with my statments about how the song dares you into thinking more deeply about it.

It teases you for liking its thirst traps and slasher gore and this tone is not nearly as "Golly!" as the original. No. It's almost somber. It's a dark cabaret number rather than an upbeat tap song.

And this shift in tone is significant.

It mirrors the shift from pie in the sky Americana in the original comics to the dark, gothic vibe of the modern Archieverse and Riverdale itself.

It embraces a smoldering darkness that relishes itself. It's hedonistic and sultry in a way the original was not.

So, yeah. This song feels like a thesis statement of the show to me. When it comes to Riverdale's genre, style, subject matter, ideas, characters, and everything else...

Anything goes.

[filmperidot]

High School TV Show Top Picks

Shows set in high school can be delightfully funny and bittersweet, or horribly embarrassing failures. Nowadays (it seems more often than not) your classically fun ‘teen show’ is a rare find. In a sea of shitty, and bizarre shows (looking at you Riverdale), there are still some good ones out there. As someone currently in highschool, I’d like to share a little guide to some of my top picks.

Before we get started, I also want to note that I think there’s a pretty big difference between shows that happen to be set in highschool/feature teens, and shows where their highschool experience is a large part of the plot. Coming of age is really a blanket term that can take a lot of different forms! For this post, I’m going to give my top picks for coming of age shows that are actually dedicated to the high school experience. While I love coming of age shows such as Stranger Things, and intense dramas like Euphoria, the main focus of those shows isn’t actually the fact that they’re in highschool. So this list is going to largely feature slightly more grounded comedies and dramas.

Derry Girls (2018-2022, 3 Seasons, TV-MA)- Derry Girls follows a teenage friend group in Ireland during The Troubles. It’s honestly one of the funniest teen shows I’ve ever seen. Each of the characters are nothing short of delightful, and their families are just as fun. To this day, it’s shocking to me that the cast are in their 20s and 30s- they truly nailed what it is to be a teenager. At only 19, 25-minute long episodes, it’s a pretty quick watch for a TV Show, but an endless source of serotonin. It’s extremely enjoyable for any age.

Sex Education (2019-, 3 Seasons, TV-MA)- Sex Education follows Otis, an awkward teenager who’s mother is a sex therapist, and his friends he attends school with. This show is a similar delight. It’s laugh out loud humor is well balanced with true poignancy, and it’s actually quite educational. Give this a watch if you feel like your high school health classes failed you!

Heartstopper (2022-, 1 Season, TV-14)- Heartstopper is a romance between two teenage boys set in England. This one was mostly included because of its overall sweetness. Its incredibly heartwarming, and quite refreshing to see such authentically kind and honest characters in a teen show centered around romance. This show is perfect for you if you enjoy teen romances, but are tired of seeing them portrayed as overly edgy, dramatic, or heavily sexualized.

Freaks and Geeks (1999, 1 Season, TV-14)- Freaks and Geeks tells the story of two groups of friends in the late nineties. Sadly, this show was cancelled before it could get a second season, which I consider a true tragedy. It’s funny, authentic, the characters are great, and the storylines are still as relatable and relevant today as they were when this show first aired.

I Am Not Okay With This (2020, 1 Season, TV-MA)- This show is about a character named Sydney, who’s dealing with highschool, family drama, romance, and superpowers on top of that. I Am Not Okay With This is really the outlier of this group of shows, since it does have a supernatural element. But I decided to include it here anyways because (as I stated previously) the actual highschool experience is still relevant and very relatable. Sadly, this is another show that was canceled after only one season. Now, I’m typically doubtful of most shows that have gotten canceled by Netflix. I watched a few of the ones that have received outrage for being canceled, and let’s just say I wasn’t impressed, which has made me a bit of a skeptic. But I can say, wholeheartedly, that the outrage was deserved for this one. The humor is fantastic, the actors perfectly embody their characters, and much like the rest of this list, the comedy is well balanced with deeper themes.

Please give these shows a try if you haven’t seen them! I’ll probably be making a post for my favorite broader coming of age shows, or maybe one for coming of age movies?

[untakenbeepun]

My dearest fellow Riverdale scholar, I must also have your thoughts on the sacred texts, and I can come up with no selection wiser than your own, so also 1, 9, and 20 for the ask meme

My darling companion in whom I have found no other equal in truly understanding the show that we call Riverdale, I would be delighted to answer your questions.

1. Who is your favourite character?

Like all who walk the hallowed paths of Riverdale, I fell quickly for our resident weirdo Jughead Jones, but I cannot truly declare my deepest affections for anyone but Cheryl Blossom.

Will we ever see a character like her again, dear scholar? I fear not. Never have I met someone that so truly embodies the phrase "high femme, camp antics". Every word out of her mouth is so ridiculous. Every action so insane. She deprogrammed herself out of a cult because they wouldn't let her be prom queen. She's head cheerleader. She's queen of the bees.

I could not also let this question pass without mentioning our true bias: Doctor Curdle Junior. A man with so many qualifications, I wonder how long he must have spent at medical school. Or how he managed to forge so many medical diplomas.

9. Which character has your favourite costuming? What's your favourite outfit they wore?

Cheryl Blossom once again steals this scholar's heart with her sheer number of red ensembles, though it may seem a cop out to say that my true favourite is the Riverdale Vixen Funeral Wear.

Do all River Vixens get their own funeral version of a cheerleading outfit when they join the team, or were they made specially for this particular funeral? The cloak. The gloves. The black pom pom. Truly iconic and, if this scholar may be bold to say, so, so, stupid.

It would be remiss not to also bring up Jughead Jones at this point, given how often this scholar has looked upon an episode of Riverdale and felt a gentle but deep yearning connection and a desire to steal the look. Perhaps it is the soft butch lesbian vibes. If this scholar were to purchase a Jughead hat, would society judge her harshly for it?

20. What is your favorite quote?

Alas, my fellow scholar, it is impossible for me to pick just one out of so many ridiculous, delectable morsels. Immediately I jump to, "speaking of bodies, have you recovered from finding Jason's?" but I also give high praise to "recently I was likened to the harlot of Babylon."

I have a deep fondness for "it's not queerbaiting, it's saving the world." There are many more, please forgive me for not remembering them all.

[go-ldy]

This has honestly been one of my favourite Riverdale arcs, like, it's been stressful and tense and FUNNY and Lili has gotten to do so much range and Donna and Bret are maybe the best villains Riverdale has ever had? AND BETTY FOUND TIME IN BETWEEN SCHEMING JUGHEAD'S FAKE DEATH TO TAKE UP KNITTING SO SHE COULD GIVE JUGHEAD A NEW BEANIE #PRECIOUS.

Plus this just had me CACKLING:

Betty: We need a body or Jughead is not really dead.

Town of Riverdale: Is he dead though?

Betty: Watch as me and my friends are publicly arrested for Jughead's murder.

Town of Riverdale: Eh.

Betty: How about a public funeral??

Town of Riverdale: Unconvinced.

Betty: Watch as I make out with Archie.

Town of Riverdale: Jughead's dead.

[stateofkate13]

?!Wanna watch some lesbians?!

I know how hard it can be to find representation on tv (even tho its getting better), so if you dont know what to watch next and you want to see some wlw scenes/plots - this list is for you

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

MOVIES:

-A Date for Mad Mary (2016)

-Ana e Vitória (2018)

-Aimee and Jaguar (1999)

-All about E (2015)

-Almost Adults (2016)

-Atomic Blonde (2017)

-AWOL (2016)

-Badhaai Do (2022)

-Becks (2017)

-Better Than Chocolate (1999)

-Below Her Mouth (2016)

-Bloomington (2010)

-Booksmart (2019)

-Blue is The Warmest Colour (2013) [La Vie d'Adèle]

-Brides To Be (2016)

-But I’m a Cheerleader (1999)

-Carmilla Movie (2017)

-Carol (2015)

-Colette (2018)

-Cloudburst (2011)

-D.E.B.S. (2004)

-Desert Hearts (1985)

-Disobiedience (2017)

-Elena Undone (2010)

-Elisa y Marcela (2019)

-Ek Ladki ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga (2019)

-Feel Good (2020)

-First Girl i Loved (2016)

-Girltrash: All Night Long (2013)

-Hearts Beat Loud (2018)

-Heartland (2017)

-I Can’t Think Straight (2007)

-Imagine Me&You (2005)

-It’s in The Water (1997)

-Kiss Me (2011) - [kiss myg]

-Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

-La Luciernaga (2015) [The Firefly]

-Let It Snow (2019)

-Lez Bomb (2018)

-Lost and Delirious (2001)

-Loving Anabelle (2006)

-My Days of Mercy (2017)

-Nina's Heavenly Delights (2006)

-Pariah (2011)

-Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)

-Rafiki (2018)

-Room in Rome (2010)

-Saving Face (2004)

-Season of Love (2019🎄)

-Summer Time (2015)  [La belle saison]

-Tell it To the Bees (2018)

-Thelma (2017)

-The Children's Hour (1961)

-The Half Of It (2020)

-The Favourite (2019)

-The Feels (2017)

-The Four-Faced Liar (2010)

-The Handmaiden (2016)

-The Incredible True Story of Two Girls in Love (1995)

-The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018)

-The Perfect Ending (2015)

-The Perfection (2018)

-The World Unseen (2007)

-Vita and Virginia (2018)

-When Night is Falling (1995)

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

TV SHOWS:

!!!!! 🖍 = an animated series !!!!!

-A leauge of their own (2022-)

-Amar a Muerte (2018-2019)

-Amar en Tiempos Revueltos (2005-)

-Amar es Para Siempre (2013-)

-🖍Arcane (2021-)

-Atypical (2017-2021)

-Bad Girls (1999-2006)

-Batwoman (2019-)

-Black Lightning (2018-2021)

-Black Mirror - San Junipero (2011-)

-Brooklyn Nine Nine (2013-)

-Buffy, The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)

-Cable Girls (2017-)

-Charmed (2018-)

-Dead To Me (2019-2022)

-Dear White People (2017-)

-Degrassi: The Next Generation (2001-2015)

-Derry Girls (2018-)

-Dickinson (2019-)

-Euphoria (2019-)

-Everything Sucks (2018)

-Faking It (2014-2016)

-Fate:The Winx Saga (2021-)

-Feel Good (2020-)

-Fingersmith (2005)

-First Kill (2022-)

-Gentelmen Jack (2019-2022)

-Gentefied (2020-)

-Glee (2009-2015)

-Grey’s Anatomy (2005-)

-Gypsy (2017)

-🖍Harley Quinn (2019-)

-Home and Away (1988-)

-I am not okay with this (2020)

-Jane the Virgin (2014-2019)

-Killing Eve (2019-2022)

-Legacies(2018-2022)

-Legends of Tomorrow (2016-2022)

-Lip Service (2010-2012)

-Locked Up (2015-2019) [vis a vis]

-Lost Girl (2010-2015)

-Mindhunter (2017-)

-Motherland: Fort Salem (2020-)

-Never have I ever (2020-)

-One Day at a Time (2017-)

-Orange is The New Black (2013-2019)

-Orphan Black (2013-2017)

-Perdona Nuestros Pecados (2017-2018)

-Pretty Little Liars (2010-2017)

-Ratched (2020-)

-Riverdale (2017-)

-Runaways (2017-2019)

-Russian Doll (2019)

-Schloss Einstein - Staffel 23 (2019-2019)

-Sense8 (2015-2018)

-Sex Education (2019-)

-🖍She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018-2020)

-South of Nowhere (2005-2008)

-Supergirl (2015-2022)

-Skins (2007-2013)

-Stranger Things (2016-)

-🖍Steven Universe (2013-)

-Tales of The City (2018-)

-Teenage Bounty Hunters (2020)

-The 100 (2014-2020)

-The Guiding Light (1952-2009)

-The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

-The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

-The Hockey Girls (2019-2020) [Les de l'hoquei]

-The House of Flowers (2018-)

-The L Word (2004-2009)

-The L Word: Generation Q (2019-)

-The Morning Show (2019-)

-The Originals (2013-2018)

-The Other Love Story (2016-)

-The Shannara Chronicles (2016-2017)

-The Umbrella Academy (2019-)

-Tipping the Velvet (2002)

-Trinkets (2019-2020)

-Queer as Folk (2000-2005)

-You (2018-)

-You Me Her (2016-2020)

-Venice the Series (2009-)

-Vigil (2021)

-Warrior Nun (2020-)

-Wentworth (2013-)

-Wynnona Earp (2016-)

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

WEB SERIES:

-Anyone But Me 

-ANNE+

-All for One

-Barbelle

-BIFL the series

-Carmilla

-Control (Kontrola)

-Gal Pals

-Girls Like Magic

-Girltrash

-Her Story

-Last Life

-Pot Luck 

-RED

-The Other Love Story

-THE STRIPPER

-Same Same

-SKAM Espana 

-Starting From Now

-Stupid wife

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

YOUTUBERS:

-Alayna Joy

-Ally Hills

-Alissa and Sam

-Anna Campbell

-Amy Ordman

-BerkleyLovesTori

-Breane Williamson

-Cammie Scott

-Cristy Lawrance

-Drea and Ronnie

-Hannah Hart

-Hannah & Sadie

-Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

-Kale and Jess

-Karin and Skyler

-Keara Graves

-Kristen McKenzie

-Maria Lin

-Monica Nguyen

-Paige and Holly

-Rose and Rosie

-Sara and Rachel

-Sam and Alyssa

-Shannon Beverige

-Stevie Boebi

-Willow Faith

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

I’m gonna update the list (SEE THE PINNED POST ON MY DASH), so if you know any other title let me know!

and please REBLOG - you never know who needs it right now

------updated 10.10.2022------

[degrassibenji]

WarnerMedia Kids & Family Greenlights new Degrassi Series and Picks Up Degrassi: The Next Generation Library for HBO Max

New Max Original Series Degrassi is Produced by WildBrain with Showrunners Lara Azzopardi and Julia Cohen to Debut in 2023  

BURBANK, Calif. and TORONTO, Jan. 13, 2022 /CNW/ - School is back in session at HBO Max as WarnerMedia Kids & Family announced today it has greenlit Degrassi, a brand-new version of WildBrain's award-winning youth franchise of the same name. The new teen and family series helmed by showrunners Lara Azzopardi (Backstage, The Bold Type, Mary Kills People) and Julia Cohen (Riverdale, A Million Little Things, The Royals) will include 10 hour-long episodes and is expected to launch in the US exclusively on HBO Max in 2023. Additionally, HBO Max has picked up the U.S. rights for the entire 14-season library of the franchise's longest running and most popular installment, Degrassi: The Next Generation which will become available on the platform this spring. Degrassi will also become available at a later date on Cartoon Network.

A reprise of the original teen drama, Degrassi is a character-driven series about the high school experience and the thrilling, often painful journey of self-discovery. Set in Toronto, the new series explores a group of teenagers and school faculty living in the shadow of events that both bind them together and tear them apart. The show travels deep into the hearts and homes of diverse, complicated characters, as they struggle to find their new normal, reaching for hope, redemption and love.

"Series after series, the Degrassi franchise continues to make an indelible impact on young viewers looking for trustworthy and authentic storytelling," said Amy Friedman, Head of Kids & Family Programming, Warner Bros. "WildBrain continues to artfully capture high school life in a compelling format that can be experienced seamlessly on HBO Max."

Eric Ellenbogen, CEO of WildBrain, said: "I'm delighted that our first-ever commission from HBO Max is for Degrassi, a truly venerable franchise with a highly devoted and passionate audience. This is yet another evergreen property from our vast IP library that we are reviving with a fresh vision and creative-first approach."

Josh Scherba, President of WildBrain, said: "Now in its fourth decade, Degrassi is one of those beloved evergreen properties that demands to be refreshed for each new generation. Stephanie Betts, our Chief Content Officer, along with showrunners, Lara Azzopardi and Julia Cohen, have envisioned an evolution for Degrassi that, while staying true to the fundamental honesty, humanity and integrity of the brand, promises fans a journey into exciting new territory, both creatively and dramatically. We're delighted to be partnering with HBO Max to deliver this new vision to fans and extend Degrassi's legacy."

Azzopardi and Cohen said: "What excites us maybe the most about reviving this beloved franchise is turning it into a truly serialized one-hour drama. We're honored to be given the opportunity to lead this evolution and bring this iconic series back into people's homes."

Degrassi will be produced by WildBrain Studios and developed by Azzopardi and Cohen who also serve as executive producers. Filming will take place in Toronto during summer 2022. The series and Degrassi library are distributed worldwide by WildBrain.

Lara Azzopardi is a multi-nominated writer, producer and director. Her credits include the critically acclaimed show The Bold Type for Freeform and Hulu, plus 911, Mary Kills People and The LA Complex, among others. She created and show ran the CSA-nominated youth drama Backstage, for Family Channel and Disney Channel – which included 60 half-hour episodes. Azzopardi started her career in the Toronto theatre scene. She is a graduate of the Warner Bros. Television Writers' Workshop, is Canadian/Maltese and a proud mother of three girls, all living in Los Angeles. Azzopardi is represented by 3 Arts Entertainment, Vanguarde Artists Management and Tara Kole.

Julia Cohen is a successful television writer and producer whose credits include such acclaimed series as A Million Little Things, Riverdale, Legion, Quantico and Dallas. A graduate of the Warner Bros. Writers' Workshop and the WGA Showrunner Training Program, Cohen has a passion for character-driven, serialized drama and has a proven track record of helping to launch first-season shows onto multi-season runs. Hailing originally from Toronto and now based in Los Angeles, Cohen is a reformed high-school drama major turned TV writer. Cohen is represented by A3 Artists Agency, Vanguarde Artists Management and Tara Kole.

Degrassi's 40-year legacy For over four decades, watching Degrassi has been a rite of passage for teenagers everywhere, providing a mirror into their passions, struggles and triumphs as they navigate the road to selfhood. Always at the vanguard of inspiration, education and entertainment, Degrassi is one of the most iconic brands in youth culture, unafraid to tackle even the most challenging stories. No issue has been too controversial or too real for Degrassi to explore, often breaking new ground on such subjects as teen pregnancy, racism, AIDS, eating disorders, child abuse, learning disabilities, gender identity, violence and more.

Owned by WildBrain, Degrassi was originally created by Linda Schuyler and Kit Hood in 1979 and has become a Canadian institution celebrated worldwide and recognized with dozens of awards across its six series, over 500 episodes and four TV movies, including two International Emmy Awards, two Teen Choice Awards and a Peabody. WildBrain's newest series for the brand, titled Degrassi, is set to launch in the US with 10 one-hour episodes on HBO Max in 2023.

[agentmika]

A general Tumblr (honoragatory) appreciation post:

hey yall. I've never done a follower milestone celebration (though I'm very glad to see all of u here!!!) and I haven't before done much personal posting type stuff either. But here I am attempting a bit of both w/ some reflection.

ik for some people it's like this from the start for them or it's why they joined tumblr, but I used to rly not interact much on here. I was a super lurker, only ever reblogged or liked things, and the only friends I used to send things to were 2 ppl I actually knew irl before joining tumblr and who both grew away and stopped using the platform.

But now I have so many kind and fun friends and mutuals on here. In multiple fandoms, in multiple ways, I've been happily surprised by the lovely conversations and silly discussions I've had with yall. The tags I've seen and the things I've been tagged in :')

And hey, maybe part of it is the pandemic and everyone being online more but being in the destielcule of tumblr post spn shitshow finale has been so fun. It has been a delight (and sometimes a curse lmao) to, paraphrasing archie riverdale here (a show I've never seen except for some yt comps thank u @hirschco), experience "the epic highs and lows" of our secret good spn conflicting with the actual show: thank yall for that. To those who have recently recognized and been indulging me in my newfound mandalorian obsession: thank you. To those who have spitballed and laughed over the old guard with me: thank you. To those tried and true newmann and pacrim fans still standing: thank you. To anyone and everyone for both the shitposting and serious: thank you.

To quote from my college admissions essay that I wrote about fanfiction and which got me admitted to UChicago (humble brag?):

"I love every moment of connection with these strange and wonderful people who love the same things I do."

That's about you guys, though I didn't know all of you yet when I wrote it. And I stand by those words today.

Again: thanks :)

Special shout-out tag list below (but I appreciate everyone and could totally be missing somebody. brain can be kinda smooth sometimes. reasons for this tag includes chats, appreciation of content, good old shared fandoms, etc):

@davidfosterwallaceandgromit​ @fan-art-ic​ @hirschco​ @alwaysanoriginal​ @shitun0t​ @autisticandroids​ @crisp-breeze​ @tinyneverthelessfierce​ @char-arts-occasionally​ @cor-aeterna​ @actually-a-hobbit​ @synonymouslyyours​ @wanderingcas​ @princesshamlet​ @spriteofwinter​ @becausedragonage​ @ohsweetflips​ @christinawritesfiction​ @dustlines​ @dobbyofearth​ @theactofmakingnoise​ @princessparadoxical​ @aertide​ @heliodean​ @whatladybird​ @newtlesbian @hermannsthumb

[ms-maj]

Jughead holds the disconnected phone to his forehead, eyes squeezed shut and a headache threatening just behind them. There's a deep sigh, a bone-weary kind of thing that he can't stop from coming out so instead, he smacks the phone against his brow before taking off down the hallway. 

This is not the plan.

There are incredibly detailed and specific instructions that he's been meant to follow since they decided to take an actual vacation for the first time in, hell, forever. 

He and Betty are leaving for Riverdale in an hour to spend a truncated holiday at her mother's and then they're heading for a cabin, somewhere in the middle of the woods, to ring in the new year. 

This a wrench in the works.

And not just one of those cheap, little, open-ended kind of wrenches but a true, blue steel pipe wrench. Cartoon style. Right into his carefully laid plans.

A little something special for @easyluckyfree45​ that you can read here

Happiest Christmas, Janet! It’s been such a delight being your Secret Santa and getting to know you. I loved all your thoughts and had so much fun creating this. I hope it brings you some joy! I hope your holiday was as awesome as you are and the new year brings good things your way <3

(header and beta credit to the incomparable @bettycooper​. the best of the best of the best, sir.)

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S3 E18 (Spoilers Inevitable)

- This episode is the Passion of Alice Cooper.  I’m sure she thinks of it that way.   Alice was pretty much hooked early on, but the Farm relocating to the site of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy was the final nail in the coffin.  This building is  where Alice went through her traumatic pregnancy with Charles and his adoption, where she keeps trying to return to start over, initially by sending one daughter after the other, and then wholesale having a fresh start semi-wedding where she got to have her rebirth.   She finishes this ritual of transformation in this episode by being ‘buried alive’ in the bunker, imprisoned by her monstrous daughter, and by ‘burning away’ the past.  Alice makes me feel so suffocated.   Alice Cooper regressing completely at the Farm amounts to a really cruel erasure of Betty. Having a mother want to  restart her life without you is crazy making for anyone.  

- Jughead Doing FP’s Homework For Him 

FP really has no stomach for being a sheriff and it’s very amusing. He has no difficulty getting rid of a murdered corpse, but the intimacy with a murdered corpse required to figure out how the murder happened is just too much.  As a result, he says to Jughead,  “I need your help, son, please.” And a bystander wouldn’t know what exactly that means, but Jughead immediately understands: YOU DO IT FOR ME. Jughead, like the Big-Brother Type Son he is, does. 

Jughead in investigator mode puts it all together so fast. In a genuinely casual tone, Jughead explains that Babyteeth’s death is different to Dilton’s because this and that, and it probably means the real Gargoyle King is back, toot toot, all done, lickety split, and then he just starts eating, while FP looks like he wants to cry and vomit at the same time.

Same token, FP the Sheriff takes his now 17 year old high school junior son to investigate a whole S&M brothel, and the Madame and all the girls are so used to Jughead bursting in that nobody blinks an eye, and FP doesn’t even ask if Jughead’s been here before.   He is also really scared of Penelope Blossom, possibly from the events to do with Midnight Club Ascension Night, or just because FP is kind of scared of women to begin with and Penelope is the scariest. Penelope’s line, What on Eve’s Earth?? is pure pulp classic and I am going to start saying it now.  Bonus: The junkies who get the ‘bad batch’ making animal/ growly sounds while foaming at the mouth like they have rabies is very entertaining.

Curdle Jr being the weirdest weirdo in Murdertown never fails to delight. He had thought he had “seen the true face of evil, but this! This isn’t even humannnnn.” Even Jughead finds these pronouncements unanswerable. Curdle Jr looks more embalmed by the second, and FP doesn’t know what’s grosser, the coroner or the corpse.

BabyTeeth’s name was Brandon Morris. (Cue Fight Club chant:  His name was Brandon Morris! His name was Brandon Morris!)  Archie and the Lost Boys are good decent people and give him a proper burial and gravestone.

Jughead apparently just doesn’t have homework and nobody is keeping track of Jellybean at all because he stays overnight at the station to interrogate all the tweaked out drug users and then go hunting for Kurtz.

The Farm is a really good cult. 

I hate them but they’re really well put together. They have a signature color.  The guru Edgar Evernever’s life story is appealingly put together (I was lost, someone saved me, I’m just paying it forward, I can help you because I was you).  They have rituals, they want to give you what you want, they have a program of ‘studies.’

Cheryl doing the slomo walk all in white down the hallway with the Farmies is iconic and all in her head.  Where did the cheerleading squad go? Did they blink out of existence together with the football team? By the way, wow this cast is good looking.  I never knew until today how sexually provocative an all white ensemble can be.  And Fangs just looks so happy and so cute.  But I must ask - Whither Sweet Pea?  What does he think about all this??

Carrying on from what I thought last episode - Betty just doesn’t like having feelings, because she’s holding back so many terrible ones. If she has an emotion she might have all of them at once and she just can’t risk it.  This does immunize her against Edgar Evernever’s bs, to be sure, but it also handicaps her because she doesn’t understand how anyone can fall for an emotional appeal devoid of logic.   Her blinking her huge pretty eyes slowly like Bambi, pretending to be listening as Edgar talks and talks, and then going right back in there with, No but really, how does my mom see her dead son?  was very funny. 

Betty calls Edgar a con-artist in a derogatory way, but her problem is that she has the impulses of a con-artist without being artful, herself. She’s just not as good at creating theater as Edgar.  Taking the gravestone advice from her dunderhead dad and creating such a crappy one, oh Betty!

Betty shouting at Edgar about my money, our house makes her realize that she has more than one motivation going on in terms of wanting to pry her mother out of the Farm, and she decides to let go of her mother, for now. 

The thing is, it’s later revealed, right? That Charles was actually in touch with Alice already, and she started to work as a secret agent for the FBI in the farm.  Was it before or after the bonfire of Betty photos in Doiley’s Bunker??

Bughead 

Betty is incredibly headstrong, but she accepts things that Jughead says, including his brainfarts like Jolt a Traumatized Alice Into Reality By Forcing To Accept Charles’s Death, as absolutely true.  It’s very subtle and I have been looking ever so hard for it, but this, THIS is the thing that Betty does for Jughead. She takes everything he says super seriously, as seriously as Jughead takes himself. Jughead’s suggestions are commandments to Betty and she even proselytizes those ideas to others.  This a huge gift, unbelievably validating. No wonder he’s so smitten.  

And this is why, by the way, Jughead can’t yell at Betty for the insanity she confesses - that she drugged and abducted and imprisoned her mother in the bunker - because he’s aware that this is her crazy interpretation of what he told her specifically to do.  He looks to Archie to say something in his stead but Archie is not the man for that.

By the way, since Cheryl has gone all in for Farmie White, Betty is wearing a red sweater with red lipstick. How long has she owned that sweater? 

Toni Topaz, Smartest Person in Riverdale

Toni Topaz must want to spit in Betty’s eye all the time.  Toni calls it 100% correctly when she tells Betty “I hold you responsible” for what’s happened to Cheryl, but of course Betty doesn’t even pretend to be sorry.  She’s just annoyed that her first spy failed so badly.  By the way, Betty losing Cheryl has echoes of Betty and Charles (who is definitely much more a Son of Alice than he is a Son of FP) getting that agent killed in S4.  And even after all this, Betty fishes for and receives emotional support labor from Toni. Get. outta. here. 

- Veronica’s long game to get Archie back is subtle and full of feminine wiles. She feeds him, she dresses him, she gets him a platform to show off.  Josie McCoy never stood a chance. 

Barchie Enjoy Violence

Scary violent Betty with a great amount of upper body strength is a new development.  The look on Betty’s face while knocking her mother out with chloroform is genuinely scary. She must’ve dragged her mother, fully unconscious, through the forest and into the bunker.  Betty fully chokes Evelyn in their confrontation.  She says people will tell Evelyn what Betty Cooper is capable of but this has not been shown.  She’s been a cheerleader, but nobody knows about all those whacks to the head she’s administered, do they? 

Archie finally is guilty of a killing like he felt he really was all along.  Congrats?  I respect combat type sports more than Archie so I’ve been irked that he picks this sport because he gets high off of hurting people.  HOWEVER. To be fair to Archie (which I’m not a lot of the time, I know) it’s Coach Keller, not the brightest bulb, who specifically advises Archie to punch the opponent in the head, and insists, when Archie says I don’t know, I don’t know, that he’s gotta just knock that guy out cold.  Coach Keller, do you know where your son is?  Ugh.

Kurtz v Jughead:  Kurtz really is Jughead’s shadow self, the dark doppelganger.  They make similar faces, they sound alike, dress alike. Oof.  And Kurtz has a bit of the manic mad genius about him too. 

- Who really runs this joint?  Ever since Gladys came back it’s been Jughead. In a strange way, Gladys and FP are helicopter parents in this Protagonist Boy battle I have going on in my head between Archie and Jughead, because Mr & Mrs Jones keep forcing their kid to do way more interesting things.  And that little stealth monster,  Jellybean Jones!  She begins to corrupt Ricky (brother of Joaquin) who has no idea who he’s messing with.

[zumpietoo]

I’m sure I must’ve dragged this previously, but much of this DOES seem unfamiliar, with this preceding the “Tabs is gonna cuck Jug” theories....and, regardless, shows us just how desperate, far off the map and ridiculous these assholes are:

Ummmm.....it’s called a “call sheet”, noobie sock and IDK that it was “on tumblr”, tho we did all quickly see it.....and I figured out Jug would be hearing impaired from it....(which, again, A) true/correct and B) something they originally wanted to have Jughead be permanently and from the start)...

(here’s the OG interpretations for ease, BTW):

First off, Vale is done and it’s unlikely we’re be returning, etc....(I’d love to know who this dumbass is, BTW).

Nope, Jug loves teaching and Tabitha---he enjoys helping at the diner (and would be there, anyway and gets to stuff his face).

OMG!!! No, his hearing’s impaired, affecting his balance and making driving/riding his bike dangerous

I think we will be getting him wanting the Serpent life, but this was moar about self destruction/frustration with his hearing issues

Tabs is worried about him and yes, momentarily may be somewhat thwarted

Jug does, for a second, because his hearing loss. He’s shutting out everybody

Ummm....nope, it’s that he can hear!!! (and, in fact, we already have them make up by that point)....and the first thing he hears is her laughing...

Back to Brainfreeze, yes, dear, that “weird” is how the progresses....it means they “finished one ep and moved on to the next...”

That’s what the set’s named, you dumbass

BTW, this is Riverdale, Jug’s temporarily hearing impaired and Tabs’s love helps him get thru it. Things are looking amazing..(and your delight in this is disgusting).

He “forgot” because his balance is fucked.

Because his hearing was messed up, it’s returning and that’s the first thing he hears in a normal manner, idiot....

Ummm....Jug has never “not felt enough”, WTF even IS that? Nope....

Oh of course, it MUST be Slizzy----and he’s pining for her. I do wonder where/how they went from this to Tabi is gonna cuck Jughead, tho....

Also if it were Slizzy, PP would’ve been on the fucking call sheet, you dumb bitch.

She’s “raging”, cuz Jug’s being a bit of an ass----which he realices his fuck up and apologizes for. Jug probably can’t hear at that point. Also even if this wasn’t the case, it would be a brief fight...

The point isn’t who with or why she’s laughing, dumbasses, it’s that Jughead can HEAR it....

Or if her nu seekrit luvrrrr can hear or not...

Nobody GAF, Brainfreeze....

And looks like somebody deleted their post, reblog or account, buuuuttt....god what a dick Snorty is, as well...

Make my fanfic come trueee, other noobie sock!

Annddd....it’s completely off the map, here.....this did NOT age well and we haven’t even seen the ep or gotten a press release, yet....

Suck it haters!!!

[alirhi]

because it came up in conversation lol

See this cutie-pie?

If I didn't know this aired in 2003 and this precious little dumpling was born in 1982, I would absolutely believe that he's actually 15. Look at that ever so slightly pudgy baby face!

I just... look at this awkward lil bean!

Look at that pout!

lol he looks so confused...

I've never actually seen the episode (I don't like cop shows) but I've seen a couple of clips of his performance and, just like every other role I've ever seen him take on, he really went for it! It was awkward and hard to watch, but not because he wasn't great, but because his character was an awkward teenage psychopath lol.

I'm glad he didn't get a lot of teen roles, though. Like, he did the awkward, gawky teenage boy thing well here and in The Architect...

...which was painful to watch, honestly. He did well; my boy always gets props from me on his acting, regardless of the quality of the movie or show around him, but... damn, this one was bad 😂 Literally the only thing that really stuck with me (and not in a good way) was the extremely uncomfortable rooftop sex scene. blargh. This movie makes me want to wrap my arms around Jack and TJ and hug them both as tight as humanly possible.

And then, of course, there is the last teenager Sebastian ever played, the first thing I ever saw him in, and a terrible movie that is near and dear to my heart:

The Covenant. Oh, lord, this movie. Chase Collins, I love you deeply and forever and without the slightest hint of irony, my babe. I love this movie... but it's not good. 😂 The Covenant is a shitty, poorly-executed, overly campy B-movie that somehow didn't know it was a B-movie. How? How do you have lines like "How about I make you my wee-atch" or your villain threateningly growling a line about Little Miss Muffat and not know how terrible this movie is? But in true "pls don't fire me, I'm poor" baby-Seb fashion, he went all-in and delivered even his worst lines with a delightful level of sass that made them almost bearable. (nothing can save that LMM line lmao especially not with the faces he made omfg 😂😂😂 Jesus I'm so glad this was my first impression of him hahaha this movie was the closest he ever got to bad acting in his entire goddamn career and I still loved it completely)

That's it. As far as I know, those are the only 3 times Sebastian Stan ever played a teenager, and I am so glad. He's too good to be stuck in "teen heartthrob" Hell. Don't get me wrong, I love teen shows/movies. I actually watched the first 4 seasons (and a couple of episodes of season 5) of Riverdale and liked most of it. I'm not super picky. But I don't want to imagine a world where Sebastian just smirks and pouts his way through campy YA trash until he's 35 and suddenly playing the dads instead of the teens.

Isn't what we got so much better? 😍🥰

[EDIT] y'all. y'all. I'm a fucking moron. I forgot about Carter Baizen.

I don't know how I forgot the second role I ever saw him in lol. Carter was older than the rest of the kids, though, wasn't he? Was he still a teen? I don't remember... It was a teen show, though, so I guess it counts regardless. Oops 😂

[rainbowfoxes]

Just finished season 2 of Riverdale, and I have Thoughts.

- I feel like they reset Veronica's character development this season? Like she did the whole "my dad is a bad person" thing in season 1, and then she comes back and is swayed to his side rather easily? It felt like they did that just to set up Archie's involvement with Hiram and the mob.

- Jughead's commitment to the Serpents is, to me, because they're the first people who have ever given him a true sense of community and belonging, and he'd literally rather die than give that up. I think it's very telling of his character and how devotional he is. Once Jug is in something, he's in.

- Cheryl is an absolute delight and I would watch an entire show of just her doing her thing. The Carrie moment? Iconique. Her hunting outfit? Someone call Oliver Queen and tell them there's a new archery hero on the block. Her interactions with Josie remind me a lot of a 12-13 year old girl obsessing over her crush (with some Blossom extraness, of course), so I was able to see her coming out ahead of time. Her and Toni are v. cute together, I love her custom jacket. I hope she gets to shoot more people.

- Speaking of Josie: I feel like she has her own show going on in another universe and I desperately want to see it. The way she handled things with Kevin irt to their parents was top tier, and I really like how she pulled one over on Veronica.

- Betty and her mysteries are carrying this show so far. She's the big picture gal, and her (and Jughead) are the ones that push the plot forward while Archie and Veronica kinda have the plot happen to them. I really like how much initiative she shows and how determined she is to not only do the right thing, but to clean up her own mistakes when she makes them.

- I hope that Veronica gets to drive the plot more in season 3 like is hinted with the finale, she's very reactive and it makes her sections of the story hard to get through at times. I think this isn't helped by the fact that for a good chunk of this season and the last, I had no idea what Hermione's motivations were, which in turn made it difficult to figure out what Veronica wanted.

- Archie is the definition of "pure of heart, dumb of ass" and he's so head over heels for Veronica that he misses the dangers of Hiram until it's too late. Which is a good character flaw! But kind of frustrating to watch. Thankfully it looks like we're done with that now, so we get to see him make new mistakes.

- Fred and FP are A+ parents, but Alice is the holder of the braincell most of the time. When she doesn't have it, Sierra must be on screen and has it instead. I hope she gets more screen time in the future as more than the group lawyer now that she's stepped down from the Mayor's office. and I want to see more of Kevin's dad too!

- Speaking of Kevin - I kinda like the conflict he had with Betty about cruising? because that's a struggle a lot of queer folks have faced in the past and in the present, the conflict between personal safety and being able to be yourself and feel loved for a few stolen hours. All his interactions with Moose are also top notch and I hope we see more of them together. We could have had a nice Kevin/Moose/Midge triad going if Moose had remembered he had two hands in time, but alas. RIP Midge you will be missed.

[floggingink]

OH HERE WE GO LADIES IT’S RIVERDALE, CHAPTER EIGHTY: “Purgatorio”

I’m tuning in to be VERY entertained on the grounds that I missed almost the entirety of S4 and will not understand anything

we open with an incredible analogue comparing the football team to the Army, as men do construct rituals: football players get blown into the sky, etc., in a heartrending mash-up of Archie’s innocence + the American ideal/expectations/pipeline of masculinity

Archie Company is decked out appropriately to storm Hürtgen Forest

that art direction trope where a character’s hearing goes EEEEEEEEEEEEEE after an explosion……...delightful

the Vixens and friends cheering him on from the sidelines as if Archie can only process his unprocessable present through the lens of his past………...hits the spot

distressingly wood-based rifles for our purposes

Archie > Dawson: I don’t mind telling you I felt emotion upon Archie hoisting his war buddy over his shoulders to that quadruple-toned “Chivalric Archie Using His Strength for Good” tune, like when he broke his whole hand busting Cheryl out of Sweetwater River

WHEN HE SAW HIRAM LODGE, I’M TELLING YOU! 

Hiram’s dragon-scale gloves? absolutely savory; he would

“Yonkers” is one of those New York place names I don’t totally buy is real (Poughkeepsie is another)

the sepia-toned light in this hospital room rings true judging by all the Captain America fanfiction I’ve read; I also like the mint-colored hand towels draped on Archie’s bedframe bought, one assumes, using the Department of Defense’s Kohl’s Cash

Archie made Sergeant, which is the best ranking for a fictional character: important enough that they can be a leader, get into trouble; low-profile enough that you don’t have to write them in the room making terrible decisions; probably won’t die immediately, as a Captain or Private might be

Fifth period is AP English: Archie reads A Farewell to Arms to Corporal Jackson, a WWI novel by Hemingway that Jug definitely turned him onto

Christ, Archie looks good in that on-leave jacket thing

I like Jackson’s subtle graph paper-print hospital gown

Gay?!: was Jackson in love with Archie? is he gonna bus to Riverdale once he’s off his pain meds? RAS, is that you in there?

God you know I love that haunted-ass Exorcist wooden bench bus light lighting

how long has the WW been relocated under Pop’s??? I do NOT know what happened to La Bonne Nuit

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: Fangs’ hair? his Tony Stark glasses? the girls’ “I’m a Slave 4 U” Burmese pythons? Toni’s headdress and immaculate glossed lip? 

Sixth period is Intro to Film: the only part of From Dusk till Dawn I’ve seen is Salma Hayek putting her toe in Quentin Tarantino’s mouth but judging from that I figure I’d like the rest 

The female gaze: Jesus Sweet Pea still looks good

Toni’s stage is flanked by twin pillars of melting candles and I would like someone to track those down for my bathroom

if they lay one hand on Pop Tate…

Betty appears to be, on her own, running the FBI training course. Betty is such a freak

Betty’s FBI-appointed psychologist is “Dr. Starling,” wears a great yellow blouse; Betty eats what appears to be a mini-sized Milky Way

her blond FBI trainer-boyfriend (uh) Glen appears to be an unholy fusion of Jimmi Simpson and that one actor with brown hair and really sharp light eyes whose acting credits I can’t think of right now, you know who I’m talking about (not the guy from Vampire Diaries)

I quite like her patterned blouse and I hate his yellow (gold?!) and blue tie

Please protect Betty: obviously we stan the Silence of the Lambs shit even as it remains infuriating Bryan Fuller couldn’t get his hands in it

Betty’s cat’s crying was so disturbingly baby-like that I had to leave the room once I realized it was in fact a cat

I’ve watched the Elisa Lam tape too many times in recent hours to handle this hallway shot

REALLY GROSS LICKING NOISES

the Trash Bag Killer coming at her was scary :(

Betty’s lovely blue knit cardi with the puffed sleeves!

50 Shades of Betty: clearing her throat before the doctor quite finishes her sentence—Lili Reinhart continues to be great at conveying “slightly perturbing subterranean tension”

was Charles a serial killer too??? oh damn!

Betty has been successfully holding off giving Glen a key to her place until now, an era that must come to a close

fellas, “Do I at least get a kiss?” is a bad move

Veronica was rich: Veronica’s new digs: exposed brick, bougiely avant-garde chandelier; possibly an elevator door right there behind the dude?

Veronica has married Hiram, to no one’s surprise

Chadwick looks like Jimmi Simpson and brunet Evan Peters plus a jaw

Veronica’s single-puffled-sleeved gown…..madamn (she has absolutely been taking secret birth control pills)

Summer + Blair = Veronica: of course Veronica would be great at Howard Ratner’s job; I MUST know what “specialty showcase haute couture offense” Vinnie has committed

T-Dubbs’ green jacket

Veronica pretended she was working at like, a department store? but she MISSED the EDGE post-day-trading

their apartment is so expensive that their bedroom is totally exposed

oh my god, Hermione

Best costume bit: please get me these satiny green high-waisted slacks?! and ugh her blouse has shoulder tassels……..she’s flourishing

“That’s threatening to an alpha like Chad.”

yes, they have a private elevator. fine.

Glen and Chad get their ties from the same Men’s Warehouse

“When that helicopter went down on the way to Martha’s Vineyard…”

you know kissing is 4-real when one person cups their hand to the back of the other person’s neck all close

I don’t understand the drop of the Glamergé egg but I appreciate that there is one and that Veronica is like, get this the fuck out of my house

Veronica’s shiny cropped tweed two-piece, Yvonne’s weird feathery coat that matches her bf’s shirt (you know she’s supposed to be “too much” because she’s got big hoop earrings)

God, Jughead is next and I’m not gonna be able to handle it

OH GOD IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT

Alphabet City?! the piano?? the fucking East Coast Beat typewriter shit—the day robe? I’m—READING CLUBMASTERS? FORSYTHE???

OH GOD HE’S DATING ANOTHER WRITER (she has nice pants)

Jughead eats: “that place you like” is a HOT DOG STAND in the middle of SOME GRASS

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Jughead wears high-ankle light blue jeans, grey socks, and spectators that blend to create the illusion of wading boots. I’m going to commit a crime

Jughead doubts it: “So did Kerouac. And Hemingway. And Fitzgerald.” 

fuck yes I love Floundering Jughead, and his Pushy Agent who pronounces “career” like “Korea,” and the continuing tradition of Jughead getting kicked out of his house

I like Literary Grifter’s sweater

the Brat Pack, and most of the Rat Pack for that matter, were actors, but I assume RAS couldn’t resist the rhyme 

I was 100% afraid we were about to learn Cora was an uncomfortably-young undergrad

the musical cue as she reaches into her bag is absolutely as if she’s taking out a gun, and it might as well be! it’s the scariest thing in NYC: an unpublished manuscript

showrunners doing a classic I Love Lucy job partially concealing Vanessa Morgan’s pregnancy via medium close-ups, draping black clothes

Cheryl slowly turning to ask if doesn’t she look okay 10/10 icon

Cheryl’s pins: she has either a tiny spider or maybe a tick

Cheryl’s sheaths: the lacy red thing, amazing

why is Cheryl’s left hand gloved?

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl’s going to forge a Rembrandt, which unfortunately means she’s my favorite person on the planet (she does not look happy about doing this)

btw is Nana Rose an Immortal?

please tell me about Toni’s eyelashes

EXTREMELY HAUNTED DOLL?!

“Damn good coffee”: Archie’s earnest “Where are people gonna sit for the bus?” slayed me

fuck YEAH Ghoulies party house! terrible music but really good skull spray paint art

Jug looks LOW lol

Veronica’s blouse + buttons, impeccable

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Tabitha/Squeaky

the hellscape semi’s red backlighting and its skeleton’s red eyes

I like Linette’s glossy bomber!

the trucker who’s about to kill her can’t also be the Trash Bag Killer….truckers have to stick to too much of a schedule….but he could be Betty’s meandering serial

I loved this episode

NEXT WEEK: Archie brings the FBI down on some people paying their rent :(

[go-ldy]

I miss Penny Peabody and her eye patch. Remember that time she and Gladys had a knife fight as part of some G&G quest? Good times on Riverdale.

She was definitely the best villain after the Preppies. I hope wherever she is, she is happy and has a new gang and is plotting ways to make our faves miserable again in season five.

(This post btw prompted by my non-RD friends being like: "JUGHEAD SKINNED A WOMAN??" Yes, yes, and it was great.)

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

To summarise:

-Riverdale wonky timeline alert: Polly has been missing for “4 weeks” whereas in 5x8 Toni has been trying to get Cheryl out of Thornhill “for 2 months”. At least it’s still 2021. (Right?)

-Archie and Betty are best friends now, which is why they don’t share any scenes any more. This show can’t do friendships and I, for once, am ecstatic about the fact.

- Only 4 weeks (or 2 months depending on whom you ask) of fucking Archie, and Betty is already turning into a vigilante.

-Old Man Dreyfuss makes an appearance. He’s been listening to the radio, hoping to catch The Glazed Mothman’s Taxicab Service’s frequency and finally get that ride.  

-The High School Principal not backing up his teacher and siding with the parents might be the most realistic thing ever written in Riverdale.

-Him not knowing where the student went, despite the fact that he has to send transcripts to the student’s new school, is also realistic, because Waldo is an incompetent buffoon.

-He and Cheryl are now (occasionally) rocking the Michael Jackson single glove look, though their gloves are not covered in Swarovski. What’s the point then?

-This episode is an homage to the Cooper Family Traditions: lying, children taking care of their parents, stress baking and serial killing.

-When Betty finally quits/gets fired from the FBI, should she become:

a. a P.I.

or

b. a bouncer ?

-I’m still not over the fact that Mr Jones -of the cropped & rolled-up jeans (socks colour-coordinated with his shoes)- still rides his bike. A true fashion icon. 

-Betty puts her hands around Jughead’s waist but we don’t get to see it. Booo. 

-Cheryl is appropriately excited for her cousin and celebrates with an inappropriate cheerleading routine.

-Hiram is delightful. I hope he burns down Riverdale and watches the flames while munching on his well-earned doritos.

-Glen comes to Riverdale. The only legitimate reason for that is to bring Betty her cat and I. Haven’t. Seen. Any. Toffee. Yet.

One down. Ten more opportunities for the Mothman to make Betty and Jughead kiss.

[magpiemorality]

Remus vs. His Birthday

Long post is long, keep reading isn’t working sorry all!

Warnings: mentions of death, blood, gore, murder, nsfw things; unfriendly Remus (he’s just antagonistic not unsympathetic); Remus being rude about the nsfs tag (not an opinion the author holds).

AO3

***

What exactly was the point, Remus wondered, of a birthday? Was it a celebration of cheating death? A consolation prize for getting through another solar rotation of mundane life? An apology to everyone in your life for existing? 

Yeah Remus wasn’t sold. Why would you bother? If it was a celebration why celebrate only once a year, when society told you you could, rather than whenever life was actually worth celebrating? Why not impose yourself on all days, or better yet forget days were a thing at all? 

(That last part sounded like Janus when he was on one of his society-is-a-con rants but Remus liked the idea. And the rants. They were pretty fun to listen to.)

Today was, apparently, Remus’ birthday, for all that meant to him. The real issue was that, irritatingly, it meant something to everyone else. And before this year, specifically this year, that would have meant squat. But this damn year it meant plans. 

Plans were another thing Remus didn’t see the point of. Why think about future things when you could think about now things and just do them? He was all impulse, by design, and sticking to a plan was incomprehensible and pretty revolting to think about, torture plain and simple for a creature like him. 

Remus seethed at the very concept, staring daggers at the envelope that had dropped into his home in the subconscious. Literal daggers, shredding the cheerful mint green paper of it with vicious pleasure, until the daggers were just thudding into the floor underneath and he got distracted playing target practice with various shadows of particularly nasty thoughts that crept through the dark corners down where he lived. 

Daggers exhausted and eyes back to normal, he collapsed into the blow up armchair he so adored (mostly because it made brilliant fart-like noises whenever he shifted around) and wondering if plotting went against his moral stance on plans. He felt like plotting. He felt like not celebrating his birthday thank you very much. 

Unfortunately the next thing to drop in was much more Thomas-shaped, and it dusted itself off nonchalantly while he considered a return to the dagger-eyes. 

“J-anus.”

“Remus. Must we be like that?” Janus asked with his very carefully crafted snobbish distaste. “I come in peace.”

“Wish you’d come in pieces. That would’ve been much more fun,” Remus muttered, and as he blinked at the other side body parts started to drop piece by piece around his intruder. Janus glanced down at the first and hid a delicate shudder, returning his gaze to Remus’ face and steadfastly holding it there. Remus dropped a nose on his shoulder just to spite him. He could appreciate a good pun as well as the next side. 

Janus cleared his throat. “We would like to celebrate your birthday. It’s not entirely, ah, a birthday party, per se? But Logan predicts the fans might celebrate for you, and Thomas will naturally be unable not to think of you much. The invitation was more of a heads up.”

“Attention? On moi? I’ll have to dress appropriately. Birthday suit is only right!”

“Remus-”

“What? Don’t approve? It’s not even my birthday, Snake Bell. They’re just something Daddy latched onto to make his dreams of normality come true. Besides, it’s not like anyone wants me front of mind- where worse to have your darkest thoughts after all?” 

“That’s not the point.”

“Ah, points. I was thinking about those. I think the more the better-” he grinned, twirling his hand and summoning his morning star into it “-but this has precisely none. I don’t want to celebrate it. No one else wants to celebrate it. Drop it there, or I’ll drop you all one by one off a tall building. Or maybe the plank. Now pirates, there’s a fun aesthetic...”

Clearly the conversation wasn’t going the way Janus wanted because he looked visibly frustrated, pulling his hat off to rake a hand through his hair with a little scowl marring his- well, half of his face. If Remus took a meat-cleaver down the centre of his skull he wouldn’t have matching halves. Ooh, Heathers. Now there was another fun aesthetic. Imagine turning up to the joke of a celebration in a cutesy prep school outfit complete with croquet mallet. Hammer. Thing. Remus wasn’t sure of the name, but it didn’t have any points so meh. Maybe it could be a fun experiment, like the Riverdale Heathers episode, which Remus had only experienced through the triple layer disconnect of Thomas watching it and unwittingly handing it over to Janus to hide down in the subconscious where all the other undesirable memories, experiences and miscellaneous things lived. Like Remus! 

But he was losing focus, and Janus was still there. Ugh.

“Just be prepared, alright? It would be highly appreciated if you didn’t just show up and antagonise Thomas on the one day he’s allowing you up front. I know it’s hard but just... ix-nay on the eath-day, ex-say and ore-gay?”

“Ooh, ore-gay, or orgy? Did you mean to say orgy?” Remus grinned sharply and Janus’ remaining composure dribbled away. 

He muffled a scream into his gloved hands before glaring once more at Remus. “Just behave. Or I will put you back here, and you will stay here until even the memory of you has faded, understood?”

Remus’ mouth clicked shut and he nodded, eyes narrowed balefully under the scorching threat. “Understood. But next time you feel the need to threaten me with hiding again, maybe don’t do it in my own home, hm?”

“Wha-”

“Bye Felicia.” The sound of Janus’ screech as he was shot upwards by a giant tentacle and shoved back through the ceiling to where he belonged was like music to Remus’ ears. Scream music. Oh, how interesting, what if he took screamo music and put it to actual screams?! 

~

It was such a good idea that he forgot about his ‘birthday’ entirely while focused on his project until the next day, when the tugging started. It was gentle at first, just the odd prod, like a big finger was occasionally checking his responses. Like he was a tiny lab rat in a giant world, and boy did that one hit a little too close to home. Home here being allofhisgreatestfearsatonce. 

He didn’t want to answer the call, he really didn’t, but... Remus was curious, and impulse won out as always. Because why not go look? Why not go see? Who cared how it turned out- the fun was in the spontaneity, in the doing. 

Thomas standing with a faintly amused smile was not what he’d have expected had he expected anything at all. But Thomas standing with a faintly amused smile was what awaited Remus topside, out in the full force of consciousness. It burned, being here, and Remus was reminded once more that in many ways he’d not been imprisoned down below for everyone else’s safety but also his own. Damn the snake for his constant self-preservation. Remus wanted to be mad at him for leaving for once!

“Hi Remus,” Thomas greeted, that same amusement on his tone. And oh, yeah, he’d gone with the Heathers look after all. It was a warm summer day and skirts were nice and breezy, sue him. Remus struck a pose with the croquet... thing, and bared his sharp teeth. 

“Did you miss me? Oh you did miss me didn’t you. I can tell! You’re just so curious about me! Well-”

“Settle down,” Logan warned, and oh. Yuck, other sides. 

“Yeah why don’t you-” Remus screamed, high pitched and piercing, as his supposed twin’s voice came from right behind him, spinning and swinging and almost catching Roman in the face with the blunt weapon. Only Virgil’s quick reflexes managed to save him, leaping into the way to catch the head of the mallet like a baseball. Now baseball, there was an impulsive and dangerous sport. Why had they never taken up baseball? 

Oh that was right... 

“Well done Virgil!” Janus smiled. Because the snake said no. And Virgil said no. And when the two of them agreed even Dream Daddy had to comply. Whatever, it was never too late. The croquet mallet turned into a baseball bat as his thoughts flickered, but it was boring and not pointy enough, until he added the nails. 

Everyone flinched back slightly, even Thomas, and Remus hefted the weapon onto his shoulder with a proud jut to his chin. Good. 

Thomas looked uncertain but he tried again. “Um, that’s cool. Like from the Walking Dead?”

“Just like that! Who volunteers as zombie?!”

“Actually we had something else in mind!” Thomas interjected quickly, turning his phone around to show the screen. “Look, cool art!” 

Remus didn’t miss the glance Thomas sent around the other sides for approval, but he was soon distracted by the contents of the screen. He scrolled, and scrolled, and kept scrolling. Huh. This was, actually pretty cool stuff. Plenty of blood, gore, some sexy things. And all not just about him but for him. Interesting. 

Also this tumble thing was dreadfully good. He’d have to get one. Endlessly scrolling on a sea of blue was the perfect- aka worst- kind of instant gratification mixed with cybergothic horror that he’d always wanted to explore creatively not that Thomas would let him if he only understood more about it. 

Around the room the other sides and Thomas stood, waiting with bated breath to see what might happen. It had been a few minutes of silence, which had Janus’ jaw dropping open and Virgil shifting nervously on his feet. Roman busied himself looking over Remus’ shoulder and trying not to wince at the gross stuff as he appreciated the art himself. Finally it grew too much and Thomas had to know. He had to!

“Is it good? Do you like it? I think there’s a lot of cool stuff there but-”

“Did you know there was an explicit tag specifically for us?” Remus gasped in delight, before frowning. “Jeez, we get our own tag. How prudish are your audience Thomas?”

“And that’s enough of that!” The phone was neatly plucked from Remus’ fingers and tossed over by Roman, shrugging when Remus glared at him. “So what do you think, Remus? They all made that stuff because they wanted to celebrate you. Janus mentioned you don’t like birthdays, but-”

Remus held a hand up to shut him up. “Okay look, it’s not my birthday. But that stuff was pretty cool. Especially the naughty bits. So, uh, thanks I guess. Don’t get used to it but thanks. And now bye! I have zombies to kill. I need to perfect my Hollywood zombie strike for maximum blood spray and noise.” He blew a kiss and vanished in a pop of noxious gas, leaving poor Roman to gag and leap away before it could get on his clothes. 

Beneath them (figuratively) in the subconscious, Remus landed on a trampoline that instantly snapped to dump him on the floor with a thump, where he lay, stunned not from the fall but mostly from all the thoughtful and cool tributes to him he’d seen. Maybe birthdays weren’t so bad. Maybe the point was to feel a little proud of yourself and who you were, and where you were in life. He was, maybe not entirely but certainly almost, a real functioning side in Thomas’ mind, not reduced to intrusive thoughts from time to time when the barriers wore thin. 

Also he had a nail-bat now. And a whole bunch of new ideas from the art he’d seen to try out too... Where to start?

Well, apparently he had a whole year to figure that out. 

-

Masterlist | Buymeacoffee